#who am i going to cling to now that he isnt here

[kingdomkome]

i dont regret getting a tattoo but i am starting to feel the effects of not being able to go swim in the sea

[sircantus]

OOOOO the dark sbi one sounds fun! Are there any other wips that is dark sbi?

Anyways I am VERY interested in Yoink the identity one please do share🙏

Funny you say that bc yoink the identity is also a dark sbi au!! Kinda. Its actually just more of a horror au if anything (but also yeah a couple of the aus there have got dark elements i cant remember which tho my memory of them only activates when i focus on one)

anyhow that wip is about a shapeshifter au in which wilbur and Phil are supposed to have their weekly dinner night together, but then Wil gets a call with Phil panicking and screaming on the other end, telling him to rush over to his apartment. Wilbur goes over thinking something horrible happened, but when he gets there Phil has no idea what Wil is talking about with the phone call and he seems entirely fine.

They kinda go on with their dinner night but Phil keeps really odd, not quite getting details in the conversation right, seeming lost in his own house, ect. Wilbur ends up hearing a weird noise and sneaks off to investigate to find actual Phil locked in a closet.

To where he then realizes he was not talking with the real Phil and something is seriously fucked up here. They both sneak around the apartment trying to avoid the not Phil thing, who realizes actual Phil got out and starts to try to lure them out by mimicking their voices (it keeps calling for Phil in wilburs voice, “Phil? Phil, whered you go?” And then it switches to Phils voice screaming for help, which makes Wilbur just keep looking at real Phil desperately trying to reassure himself the noise isnt real)

They end up escaping the apartment and calling Techno, their mutual buddy, for help, but then the shapeshifter starts following them outside and they’re running across the empty streets in the middle of the night to try and lose it. Techno eventually finds them and nearly runs them over, and then proceeds to try purposely running the shapeshifter over upon seeing it come around the corner, looking like Phil but with everything about him seeming just Wrong. (Eyes glinting too hard, his walk stumbling too much, the voice from his mouth still being Wilburs-) so sbi is in the car now. Techno hits the thing with his car. They check to see if they killed it, and they watch as the shapeshifter tries to then turn into a kid, but still clinging onto Phils features, so then it just looks like a kid version of Phil (tommy!! Yays)

Its then crying about getting hit with a car and mimicking all their voices interchangeably to ask for help, and Techno is about to get back in the car to run it over a second time!! Only for Phil to stop him bc he wants to know what the heck the shapeshifter is even trying to do. Here is where i lose the plot a bit but i think from there on it would be cool for the three of them to argue amongst themselves over if they should be pitying a monster thing, not noticing Tommy getting closer until he’s right next to them and he’s taken Technos form and voice to try and join their conversation. This somehow results in them realizing he’s really not that harmful. Family dynamics

The thing is “Tommy” is meant to be a very naive type of shapeshifter who doesnt really have a grasp on humans, and he took Phils place first bc he heard about the dinner and he wanted to meet Wil. And then he sees Techno and how Phil and Wilbur talk with him and thats why he turns into a Techno. He also turns young when hes hurt bc he recognizes that humans treat their young gently. Its a neat concept! Alas its also a wip. I have no idea where the family dynamics will form but by god theyre gonna be somewhere

Also its called yoink the identity bc obviously tommy shapeshifter took phils place for a second there haha

[z0mbiewh0re]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖🦇 ݁˖ ݁𖥔FICTOBER𖥔 ݁ ˖🦇 ݁˖ ݁𖥔 .

Day 9: bonfire

Summary: bonfire with bf!rafe and your friends but rafe's goal is to scare you.

Warnings: just fluff. Reader being a scaredy cat.

Rafe and you where in a relationship for almost one year now. Right now you where sitting with rafe and your friends on a bonfire enjoying the fresh air.

It was already dark and when you would be honest you where kinda scared. You always where like a scared cat. You looked around as you snuggle closer to rafe who was sitting on your side.

Rafe grined, a look of mischief in his eyes as he notices you shivering beside him. He draped an arm leisurely over your shoulder, pulling you closer to his side.

"Hey, are you cold or something?"

He inquired, feigning innocence.

"You know damn well im not shivering cause im cold..."

You mumbled pissy laying your head in the crook of his neck.

Rafe chuckled, enjoying your pissy demeanor.

He tightened his arm around you, relishing in the feeling of your head against the crook of his neck.

"And what are you shivering about, huh? Don't tell me you're scared."

He teased, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips.

"Im not scared..."

You mumbled.

Rafe lifted an eyebrow skeptically, not believing your words for a second. He leaned closer, his breath warm against your ear.

"Oh really? Then why've you been clinging to me like a frightened little kitten since we got here, huh?" He asked, his smirk growing.

"Cause i want you close of course."

You said laying your legs over your lap as you listened to the crackling of the fire.

"Im not lying!"

You defended yourself.

Rafe chuckled again, his free hand coming up to gently cup your chin, tilting your head upwards to make you look at him.

"You can't fool me, baby. I know what an little scaredy-cat you are." He said, amused and somewhat affectionate.

"I am not!"

You said still trying to prove him wrong knowing damn well he isnt.

Rafe's smile widened, as he got an idea. He leaned closer, a sly look in his eyes.

"Oh yeah? Well, if you're not scared, maybe I should tell you a little story." He said, his voice dropping to a low whisper.

His hand moved from your chin to your hair, his fingers tangling in the strands as his other arm tightened around your waist, holding you firmly against him.

"Let me guess back when you where a kid you lost your favorite toy on the attic however. So you went back to the attic to find your toy and you saw a ghost. Boho very scary."

You mock him rolling your eyes.

Rafe let out a snort, both taken aback and amused by your boldness and sarcasm.

"Ha, ha. Very funny." He said, rolling his eyes too.

But he wasn't about to back down. He leaned in closer, his lips just barely brushing against your ear.

"No, that's not it. I was talking about something far more... terrifying." He purred, his fingers in your hair tightening slightly.

"Uh huh go on."

You said trying to keep up your tough facade.

Rafe's cocky grin returned, enjoying the way you tried to stay tough. He tugged on your hair gently, pulling you even closer to him.

"Well, this story is about a bonfire, actually. Just like the one we're sitting at right now." He began, his eyes flickering to the blaze in front of you.

"Boohoo."

You just made. what a coincidence a story about a bonfire while you were sitting at one.

Rafe chuckled at your sarcasm, clearly enjoying your attitude. He gave your hair a gentle tug in playful reprimand.

"Careful, little kitty. I haven't even gotten to the good part yet." He warned, grinning.

"Then go on..."

You mumbled as your friends snicker in the background.

Rafe ignored the snickers from your friends, his focus solely on you. He tightened his hold on you, pulling you as close as possible.

"Okay, here goes. It was a night just like this one, a group of people seated around a fire, having a good time. But then..."

He paused dramatically, his voice dropping to a low whisper.

You look around waiting for him to keep going.

Rafe smirked, seeing the anticipation on your face. He continued, his voice still low.

"Then, out of nowhere, a strange noise sounded through the night. It was like...a soft, whispering sound, coming from the shadows beyond the light of the fire."

He said while you fiddled with his fingers.

Rafe's eyes flicker to your fingers, watching as they play with his. He lets out a quiet hum of amusement, enjoying the small action.

"The group of people went silent, their eyes fixed on the darkness. They knew that something was out there. Something...watching...them."

His voice had dropped to a low, gravelly whisper.

You look behind you.

Rafe chuckles, noticing your nervous glance behind you.

"What's wrong? Afraid something's going to jump out and get you?" He teased, enjoying the way you were falling for his little game.

"No."

You just said trying to act unborthered.

"Hmm, really?" Rafe's fingers start tracing patterns on the skin of your shoulder, seemingly innocent enough but you can sense the underlying mischief in his touch.

"Then why'd you look behind you? Are you sure you're not scared?" His voice was dripping with false concern.

"Just end the story!"

You snapped annoyed.

Rafe snickered, clearly amused by your impatience. He leaned in, his face close to your ear again as he continued.

"All right, all right. I'll get to the good part now." He murmured, his chin skimming your earlobe.

"So. The group of people, still sitting around the fire, were still and silent. And then, from the shadows, a figure appeared."

He said as you just sat there and keep listening.

"Slender man?"

You ask sarcastic but you sound a bit scared.

Rafe chuckled, shaking his head. "No, not Slender man." He replied. "But this figure was just as ominous and creepy."

He paused again, letting his next words sink in. "The figure slowly came around the fire, into the light. And when the people sitting around the fire finally got a good look, they saw..."

"Your dad very creepy i got goose pimples."

You said trying to stop the story there and now.

Rafe's face twisted into a slightly insulted scowl.

"Very funny." He said, dryly as he pinched your side making you let out a squeak.

"I know right?"

You said with a chuckle.

Rafe rolled his eyes, but a hint of amusement showed in his expression. He returned to the storytelling, his voice returning to the low, theatrical tone it had been earlier.

"So. The people around the fire finally got a good look at this strange figure. And do you know what they saw?"

"I already told you it was your dad. Now stop trying to scare me."

You just said sighing.

Rafe's smirk returns, a hint of dark satisfaction in his eyes. He leaned in and kissed you.

You closed your eyes and wrapped your arms around rafes neck.

When you pulled away from eachother someone suddenly grabbed your shoulders, shaking you making you release a scream.

As you turned around and saw toppers face a frown formed on your face.

Rafe and topper broke out in laugher as you took some sand and threw it at both of them.

"Im sorry baby but that was just to easy!"

[x1702x]

Hm. Thinking about the rune of the unborn and the rebirthing egg, just Rennala in general.

I find interesting how in one video Zullie showed the inside of the egg, it being cramped with scholar bodies, which if i recall was cut outside of the cutscene because it would be too obvious.

I also find the way they are in fetal position intriguing as well.

The whole ordeal with Rebirth and grief with Rennala makes me ponder a little, the way shes constantly making more sweetings and losing them short after definitely takes a toll on her, I'd even say shes constantly in a feeling of post-partum depression/psychosis and grief.

Its said in her hat description that once Radagon left her she experienced heartbreak, and he left her with the egg and the red wolf all alone.

Now this is a little silly, but consider this:

Why would Radagon leave her with an Egg who grants rebirth?

Glad you asked! Here's my yap:

Its mostly headcanon BUT hear me out.

So, the sweetings, aka the young scholars. They dont look far from Rennala but, who are they exactly and why are they all clones? whos the original? where did these guppies come from?

In my headcanon, there was going to be a fourth carian, although the timing was unfavorable, Radagon left Rennala pregnant and alone, her children had grown apart from her and she felt helpless without her family (And also how the scholars turned in on her), grief led her to miscarry that child. The sweetings are modelled after the child she never could carry to term, alas the only one who would inherit her looks.

The egg being the catalyst for the sweetings isnt just a random bird analogy, the way she craddles the egg VAGUELY resembles how a woman would hold her womb durinng pregnancy, might be a reach but you know once you see it, you see it.

Where am going with this? She became helplessly dependant on the egg, as far as abusing the rebirth over, and over, and over, lowkey giving post partum depression, as I mentioned earlier.

Of course, these are short lived, thus makes it WORSE.

Also to add, the name in itself "Rune of the Unborn" is quite in the face, you literally seek to take her egg from her, egg which resembles a womb, egg which basically births the sweetings, that's not Rennala's rune, that was supposed to be the baby's if anything.

The babies being short lived also being a result of Rennala not feeling whole, the miscarriage and being broken still, never meant to be born, but she pushes herself, clinging to the little sanity left in her.

HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE RAHHHHHH🗣️‼️

[lavellane]

ok i have avoided talking abt my datv thoughts but now ive finished and slept on it here it is. this is huge btw and really just a way to process my thoughts for my own peace of mind. and get out what i need to say. so yeah word salad below

2 disclaimers before i start. firstly i think im going to be SUPER blunt and clear about my thoughts on this post but then i will mostly be putting the matter to bed in my heart bc i am not someone who delights in being a hater nor do i take comfort in it. i will take from this the things i enjoyed and keep my distance from the rest. second disclaimer: ultimately i think i will still enjoy being a part of the fandom and seeing other people enjoy the game, because it will endear it to me and maybe take away the pain im feeling right now, so this isnt a long rant to make you feel bad about enjoying the game if you do like it! in fact quite the opposite. it comforts me that there are people who find value in the game and i hope in watching you play it i may be able to eventually be able to say the same

that being said . obviously i didnt like the game

which is an extremely difficult thing for me to say. i went into this game thinking "i will at the VERY least enjoy the game. not love it but at least like it. but im sure ill love it". it really is quite distressing for me that it didnt even really reach that bar for the most part. i TRIED to like it. i begged this game to give me ANY handhold at all that i could cling to, to forgive and like this game. i think the things i liked err more on the technical side. the graphics i loved, the character DESIGN was *fantastic*. the art. the pacing. the vague vision of what they were obviously nebulously aiming for. and honestly, i mostly enjoyed the main plot although i wish it had been more disciplined and constrained with the lore it was trying to expand on. act 3 was fantastic and naturally i am happy and fulfilled for the most part by the conclusion of solas's story, who i still believe was and is the best written "villain" of dragon age. sorry logang and meredith nation but i do still stand by this.

but thats really about it. as a disclaimer i am not an origins puritan or a da2 diehard or anything like that. i have loved (almost equally) EVERY single iteration of dragon age which has been released. i am one of the few people who sees equal value in inquisition and origins. i love them both so deeply. i couldnt pick between them.

for me what i love the MOST about dragon age - and which every single previous game has always nailed despite other flaws - is the characters. right under that is the world's capacity for introspection. and unfortunately nothing in this game provided that for me

regarding the characters: i do not care about a single one of them unfortunately. or at least i do not CARE about them the way that i have CARED about the other previous games companions. companions i would write banter about !!! just for fun when i was bored!!!! i would say my only exception is harding, but even then i care about her only because i care about her due to inquisition. overall i just found them all so ..... shallow. and devoid of any of the conflict or nuance or ethical quandries that make biowares stories so compelling - and sure, usually controversial! i would give ANYTHING for this game to have been controversial. for a unforgivable RO, or a problematic fave, or a cancelled wife. did bioware forget that their most beloved or at least enjoyed characters are people like anders, merrill, mordin solus, blackwall, sten, loghain, SOLAS??? i dont understand HOW they could have forgotten that, because solas is literally right there in game and handled (in my opinion as a fan) well. love him or hate him or dont care about him, he is such a hallmark of great bioware writing (in dai if nothing else) - characters who are not EASY to like. characters who are not SAFE to write and who WILL generate criticism from all sides because they are written boldly and unapologetically, strengthened by a foundation of consistent ideals, clear objectives and beautiful faults. characters that do not NEED you to like them, but instead invite you to engage with them critically. solas, even to someone who hates him, is nuanced and morally complex enough to muse and fight over for 10 whole years. hes IN this game, just as ethically murky as ever, but the morally grey hallmark of biowares writing really does kind of live and die with him alone. the rest of the companions feel like they barely made it out of their concept phase. what are lucanis's flaws??? genuinely asking. other than being a murderer who exists in an organization which buys and trains literal child slaves of course, but i'll get to that in a sec (because bioware sure as fuck didnt). um, i guess you could say hes broody?? and emmrich too. what actual flaws does he have?? he has a fear of death, as we're TOLD, but it does not really reflect in the overall convesations we have with him over the course of the game. mostly hes just.... a little bumbling i guess. bellara's flaw is being a scatterbrain. harding's is that shes..... angry??? but shes not???? fucking come on. i really felt the lack of actually being able to TALK to these people at the end of act 2, when i realized i still felt like i havent really MET any of them. and yet here rook is talking about found family and being a team. ok

and then there are the romances. which from my perspective - having romanced taash - and my friends who have romanced lucanis, neve and davrin..... WHAT romances. davrin's full romance is 20 minutes in a 30 PLUS HOUR GAME. solas had the least amount of content out of any companion in inquisition and was a last minute unintentional RO and still had like easily 50 minutes of content. so why did these romances feel like nothing. actually nothing. i was so excited for taash, but their romance straight up felt like neither rook nor taash even wanted to be there. i forgot they were technically together at certain points. zero chemistry. zero intimacy. all TELLING zero SHOWING. if you had told me that i would be saying these sorts of things about a writer like trick weekes a month ago i would call you fucking crazy to your face. i cannot reconcile that taash was written by the same person who wrote solas. i cannot reconcile that mary kirby - who wrote the fucking chant of light - wrote lucanis. its so dire. its devastating actually.

lastly i want to talk about my other point - bioware's famed emphasis on introspection and ethically quandries. again, i'm genuinely experiencing a sense of profound whiplash because when it comes solas's character you can still see it. its still there. they actually doubled down on making him worse than he was in trespasser which i LOVED and thought was so incredibly promising. they could have caved to solavellan fans and uwu-ified him but they didnt. thats great.

but where was that energy for literally anything else. everything has been defanged - even minrathous, the capital of the tevinter slave trade, does not even ADDRESS the elephant in the room of slavery. and i know because i played a shadow dragon. so tell me why i as a shadow dragon am happily allied with the crows, who solely exist to assassinate politicians and BUY SLAVES. THEY BUY SLAVES. THEY BUY SLAVES AS CHILDREN AND TRAIN/TORTURE THEM TO MURDER. HELLO??????????? there is no commentary made about the mages/templars. there is no discussion of the treatment of the elves in the north or Anywhere. there is no discussion of why exactly blood magic is or isnt acceptable - they simply tell us its bad. all the theories of the last 10 years were answered with handwaved comments or bare bones codex entries that honestly stripped so much nuance away from so many things (the blight, my BELOVED) that i dont know how im going to go about fixing it or making it right in my head. the introspective nature of dragon age always went hand in hand with player choice, but there really WAS no choice in this game as so there IS no real capacity for other interpretations or schools of thought. it is so..........................bleak.

i think the thing that finally made it click in my head that this game had fundamentally let me down was the gloom howler quest. and i know im not alone on this. for those of you who dont know - the gloom howler, "isseya" was the protagonist of the dragon age novel "the last flight". i would HIGHLY recommend you read it, especially if you're an origins fan. super bleak, super political, not flashy at all in terms of magic. it was set 500 years pre origins, during the 3rd blight. isseya is very similar to characters like loghain and solas in a way - a richly complex, beautifully intricate, terribly thought provoking character who did HORRIFIC things for the most NOBLE reason you could imagine, under the most traumatic of circumstances. im tearing up just thinking about her story, and how the title "the LAST flight" foreshadowed that her story had a definitive, bittersweet, finite and peaceful ending.

and then this game did THAT to her. turned her into a grotesque caricature of what she was. stripping her of her nuance and her capacity for atonement or forgiveness. and once again, i do not fucking get it. she was obviously brought back because she is a parallel to the solas dilemma. so WHY is she not afforded the same opportunity for empathy that he is. why is bellara's brother not either. its insane. its literally insane. i cannot begin to imagine the oversight or laziness or WHATEVER IT WAS that occured to have this game turn out this way.

there are innumerable other problems with the game that im not going to get into because what ive said above is the main crux of my problem. introspective and character. those are all i really wanted from this game, and like..... i thought we would get that. because the game centered around solas. and i know people dislike his fans for very fair reasons, but i hope those who know me know that i enjoy him not because hes hot (he is though) but because he is terrible. i love him because they made a character who was TERRIBLE, and then gave you the task of using your head and refelcting on your own morality and values and deciding and arguing and meditating over whether he is worth loving anyway. to me, solas is the person i point to when i want to describe why i love dragon age. its complicated, its nuanced, it is terrible and wonderful and everything in between depending on the angle you look at it from. and so having the writer of a character like THAT in charge of the whole game filled me with hope and dissuaded so many of my fears for this game. but i was wrong apparently.

so now im left with a feeling akin to survivors guilt. genuinely. because at the VERY least, despite me saying all of these negative things, i at least finished the game crying happy tears and being overjoyed that my favourite character was handled well and got an ending i enjoyed. and yet that happiness *i* got to feel and that glimmer of good writing was paid for at the expense of literally everything else. i feel almost personally responsible in a way, which sucks. im sorry to all the people who did not enjoy or care about solas, im sorry that you really did get nothing out of this game. i hope we can all be comforted by the trilogy we have and will always have, and i hope we can all take what good parts we enjoyed out of veilguard and make peace with the rest

leaving this youtube comment my friend sent me which is unfortunately a summary of how i feel about the game as a whole.

[irishmammonagenda]

Hii!! 🧚‍♀️It's Wee Emo anon 🍾

Really liked your last work, so here i am again

Can i request brothers reaction on MC who cry over small things?

Like they see little kitten on the street and - WHOOP! - they're bubbling sobbing mess

I'm kinda can't cry (sounds dramatic lol) and wanna MC to feel it instead of me 😬

Love your works, keep going bestie💐🏃‍♂️

HI WEE EMO <3 please ignore the fact you sent me this on april 27th and its now june i had gcses to prepare for 😔✊

anyway, who let you into my house 😧🤨

no seriously i've cried at multiple south park episodes. south park. sometimes i wanna cry when i see my dog i cannot be trusted i tear up so easily especially when im writing🙁

for not being able to cry that is not very good for you fr:

i used to not be able to cry + still only really tear up, some tears drip down and let out like 2 sobbing sounds before im good again, i dont even have to try and stop crying, two sobs and im done, but my biggest tip is, get tired like really sleepy to the point where your eyes water bc of tiredness then watch something really sad.

i ha to literally train myself to be able to cry again bro dw, i wish i could have a big long cry but like 3 mins of crying is better than none, trust me wee emo you'll feel better

#dontbottleupyouremotions

ANYWAY:

this was very hard to imagine their reactions to idk why, but i tried so 😔✊

grma wee emo for requesting <3 and grma everyone else for reading <3

Obey Me Brothers With a Sensitive MC <3

It was safe to say you were sensitive, back when Melanie Martinez's music was a lot better, you really could say that the song 'Crybaby' pretty much encapsulated your entire being, it still did, but you liked to think you were more mature in your music taste now. (You weren't)

Being suddenly catapulted into the Devildom did a number on your emotions, and you found yourself quite numb. But as you adjusted, and bonded with the others, you found that you were back to your usual self, which was a crybaby.

So then how do the brothers react?

LUCIFER

Great. Two Mammons.

At least Mammon No.2 (you) isnt a tsundere about it.

Lucifer does not like seeing you cry. Even if its because something is cute, (although he does find it quite adorable, not that he'd admit it)

This demon is of the opinion that tears should never disgrace your beautiful eyes.

He will invite you to listen to his records with him and purposely put on sad ones or really sweet ones so you grip onto him while you tear up,

He is a demon, after all. ;)

MAMMON

Finally. Someone who cries more than him!

It actually makes him feel safer around you, like you wont bully him for being more sensitive than his brothers.

Actually ends up dropping a lot of his tsundere act around you.

You watch movies together, but always have to check the Devildom version of 'doesthedogdie.com'

Idk, I feel like Mammon would give you a bit of bother for it at first but then slowly start to like, open up more, because he really does see himself in you like that.

LEVIATHAN

He blanks.

One day you start crying because of how cute the anime you both were watching was, Levi thought you were geniunely upset, so he tried to cheer you up.

You end up thinking that its really sweet and start crying harder.

Leviathan PANICKS.

Even now, he still gets really nervous when you start crying, and has popped into his demon form more times than he can count when you grab onto him and sniffle.

Please he's already so awkward he can't handle how cute you are.

You might make him start crying as well :(

SATAN

Satan 100% gets so angry he starts crying so he can kind of understand it.

He's just glad you cry over positive things :)

His favourite moment was definetly when you teared up over a small kitten. (He took several photos and also took the kitten home)

Like Lucifer he 100% invites you to read with him and picks the fluffiest most adorable romance he can find, or the saddest most heartbreaking romance he can find.

He likes when you cling onto him and look up at him with those big teary eyes.

He's a demon. What did you expect, ;)

ASMODEUS

He thinks you're adorable.

Any emotion on your face is adorable to him actually. <3

If you wear makeup he makes sure to get you waterproof mascara and other eye makeup so your beautiful tears dont ruin your beautiful makeup <3

If any of you remember that crying girl makeup trend? Yeah he deffo starts that up in the Devildom (a) to make you feel less embarrassed about it and (b) because he thinks youre so beautiful when you express yourself.

BEELZEBUB

He doesn't cry a lot, it's not exactly something that comes naturally to him at all.

Its not that he CANT cry or that he holds his tears back, its just that he doesn't normally process or reaction to things with tears.

Only in serious serious situations will he cry.

So when he sees you crying over one of those little onigiri things that are literally adorable, he thinks that you've somehow hurt yourself. (i nabbed this off of pinterest)

Beel panics, and mentally goes over the ingredients in his head, did he order something with an ingredient that was dangerous to humans?

He calms down when he realises that you're crying because it looks cute.

He feels you with that.

Makes an effort to take you to more places with food items displayed in cute ways.

Though you do have to look away while Beel cuts them up for you, otherwise you wouldnt be able to eat it.

BELPHEGOR

He laughs at you.

Point blank.

Originally when he's in the attic he uses your sensitivity as a way to manipulate you.

But post lesson 16, he really starts to appreciate it more.

This bastard will use his powers as the youngest sibling against you, he'll dress up in cute onesies and give you puppy eyes, all to coax you into taking naps with him.

Which you do.

I have no idea how half of these fuckheads would react tbh

[haolovre]

secrets hidden in you

“they all say that park seonghwa, the most popular and dangerous person in the school doesnt have a heart, does he?”

student!ateez

this series can contain:bullying, beating up, blood, fluff, drugs, smoking, swearing

this fic is a fiction! so non of this is real

masterlist of this series

masterlist

Third day

pt.1 morning

it was 4 am and u couldn’t sleep. U were thinking about who this 0304 person can be. Then u realised u never have read the letters.

U got up to ur desk were all the notes were. There was one labeld “number 1” u open that one and started reading.

“Dear yn,

well never thought i’ll write these kinda stuff but im here now. First day when i saw i was mindblowend. I was thinking why i never saw u, but then the teacher told us that u were new. That was the only time i liked that teacher. In every class i had a eye on u. also that day when u were asked to join us for basketball, i thought u would say no but i was surprised that u said yes. I want to picture frame that. U with a pony tail. Well not giving to many hints on who i am but well enjoy:)

- 0304”

u sat there confused on who it could be? Well u said to urself it obviously cant be ateez as they have newjeans. U wondered maybe it is txt? But i werent sure the next one u opened was number two. It had a drawing.

* picture of u with white paint all over*

u were quiet. How does this person have this. There was a note. “Well, dont u look fantastic.” U were speechless. How did they have this you thought?

U erased the thoughts, as u have to get going to go to school, haeyoung is still sick (poor girl)

you see sooha with seonghwa? u looked confused while u walk up to the two.

“ oh Y/N heyy how are you girly” “oh im fine what about you?” “Im doing fine.” The silence filled up as u three dont know what to talk about.

“Uh y/n you know about the project for biology, lets do it today! only i did heard that beomgyu couldnt come as something happend. he also won’t be at school today” seonghwa said. U thought oh well we do need to get it done but alone with the park seonghwa. “Yeah sure.” u said.

as no one knows what to say the atmosphere got heavy. u finally speak up “why where u guys together?” “hm? oh seonghwa was asking stuff abt yo-“ sooha got cut off by seonghwa who has his hand on her mouth “o-o-on uh yoyo’s yeah” he said quickly

u looking suspicious but still think nothing abt it

“OH there’s mingi im going see you two around?” as seonghwa ran to mingi, who was smoking some weed with other friends.

“Well. uhm yeah but he was talking about you tho i dont know why he caught me off and said yoyo’s he must be crazy or sum” sooha said as u two walk in the school

“Trying to hit on her huh seonghwa? or her friend?” Mingi said when seonghwa came up to him “ what do you mean hit on her i WASN’T””oh buddy u were totally” mingi smirked at his hyung.

“Also how his writing notes to her huh? I saw u put one in her locker yesterday?” “What~~ what are you talking about?” Seonghwa looking away

“bro its pretty obvious like her” “shut up mingi” seonghwa said with a pink face “i would say then u dont have minji up ur ass all the time and maybe she will finally leave u alone” mingi went on.

“You know what im thinking” seonghwa said “maybe i should fake date her so minji isnt clinging around me” seonghwa said to his younger “actually hyung not even a bad idea” mingi said.

—————end of part one of day 3————————

taglist: @vixensss

[scrollypoly]

Stirringjuice is trans guys, stop spreading false info that they're transphobic. I think its really odd that Alex dropped being trans saying it was a joke, that makes me upset that he called being trans a joke, like that should raise red flags. There are unfortunately people who fetishize trans people and being trans, that's what Kister was doing.

Edit: hey nvmd on that first sentence, i spent an hour writing up my thoughts on that document and tumblr ate it! So now i have to re type all of that and im pissed :)

I just finished reading the document and reblogged my post, so if you want to see my whole thoughts, theres that, but im gonna respond to this instead of deleting it like i was going to.

Hi! Im also trans. Being transgender does not absolve you from making transphobic or transmisogynistic comments. And there was definitely transmisogynistic rhetoric that was used as an argument against Alex's case. It does not matter how Alex ultimately identifies as, as in the time where they presented as transfeminine, simple comments about their clothing with no implication were called predatory, their presentation as feminine was called predatory. And i wont lie, we cant even see how they were dressing in those pictures that they gave, because the entire photo was censored out. Why use a photo as evidence of fetishistic or predatory behavior if we cant even see the photo?

I do think Alex did have inappropriate interactions with people in that server. But them simply dressing femininely and saying they want to be feminine or a girl is not anything inappropriate or predatory.

As for Alex saying it was a joke, I said in my prior post that i didnt really believe what they said here, and i think that for a couple reasons. One, Alex seemed pretty genuinely engaged with their presentation and seemed happy and comforted with their presentation. And two, Alex's mental health patterns have shown that they are a person who clings to the comforts and support they can get from people, and also shows that they are a person who isnt grounded with their self very much. So rather than looking at an out of context screenshot . . .

. . . Im going to look at the pattern of behavior that i see and draw my conclusions for that. And even if Alex isn't transfemme or just likes crossdressing, theres nothing wrong with that either. Theres nothing wrong with dressing femininely, whether you are feminine or not.

Youre still allowed to be hurt by his statements, you can have your personal feelings about everything thats happened. But I am too, and im gonna point it out when i see harmful rhetoric used

[tigertofu]

(Just wanted to say first of all, Handsome in an Ugly Way was the first gta fic I read when I got back into the fandom and it was, and still is, the best gta fanfic I’ve ever read, along with all of your other fics. They’re all perfect!)

Anyways! If you feel up to it and have the time, would you mind doing the DVD commentary thing for this part-

“He dismissed you with a wave of his hand.

You pursed your lips. Considered saying something. Considered taking up his offer to cuddle, even though your feet were itching to run you back home. But you kept your mouth shut, turned heel, and left.

You softly clicked the trailer’s front door shut behind you. Head bowed, you took a second to collect yourself. A breeze passed over you, chilling the lingering sweat and saliva clinging to your face.

The beginnings of regret simmered in your stomach. Maybe your fantasy should’ve remained a fantasy—just a foolish little daydream you could entertain yourself with when bored at work or in bed. Maybe you shouldn’t have let Trevor work you over so easily. Maybe you shouldn’t have let him fingerfuck you; shouldn’t have let him have his way with your mouth. He definitely hadn’t washed his hands before touching you. You shivered. You needed to shower. ASAP.

You started your walk home, eyes still pointed down at your shoes as you crossed over the rickety front porch.

Despite the feeling of dirtiness inside you, that magnetic pull still existed. If anything, it had grown stronger; you couldn’t deny it. You replayed Trevor’s frantic declaration of love in your head, and your heart tripped over itself.

You hoped he wasn’t mad at you now.”

(💕💕💕 !!! im always kinda surprised when ppl tell me they liked Handsome In an Ugly Way sm cuz i wrote it just to be disgustingly self-indulgent 😅 but im glad to hear u like it !! srsly im honored, TYSM 🙏🙏🙏)

ok so this was from chapter 1 (sad that my memory is so shit i had to look up what chapter this came from)). chapter 1..... i was (still kinda am) experimenting w/ my writing style in this fic. me and looooong sentences have a love/hate relationship so i like forced myself to reserve the longer sentences for the more ~significant~ parts. that's why "Maybe your fantasy should've remained a fantasy — just a foolish little daydream you could entertain yourself with when bored at work or in bed." is the longest here cuz ooh i wanted that shit to have Weight

now smth that ive always been drawn to exploring/writing abt in my fics is, like,, the reservations one might have after realizing theyre attracted to trevor. cuz like cmon. ik that if i personally were in this situation irl i would be RIDDLED with confliction. like that clashing of "ohhh, i shouldnt.. he smells like death and is literally a murderous meth addict who recreationally shits behind dumpsters" with "oh but hes so hot why is he so hot" is just so ripe with interesting implications and the potential for storytelling. and drama the DRAMA

hm also. ive worked v hard to keep Reader going down this path in this fic w/out it becoming TOO similar to Kacie's story. like yes Reader is still mildly scared of him (("You hoped he wasn't mad now.")) but she isnt pissing her pants over it, and he is not being Too Terrible to her.. that may change a bit as the story progresses and she learns more abt him tho....

another thing: i wanted to immediately give smth for Reader to latch onto, to fuel her lil crush and make it clash even harder w/ those "oh i shouldnt. i rlly shouldnt" feelings, hence trevor's "I love you" during their first hookup (and just cuz yk. he totally would). hes just so charming 🥰🥰🥰

ty again for sending this in !! 💞💞 i hadnt read this bit of this fic in a long time so it was fun going back over it like this :D

[claitea]

finished pokemon violet. i am in Shambles in best way possible

major spoilers below! also its super long i have a lot to say

if its not obvious gen 5 is my favorite gen, for all the reasons most people hype it as the best gen. and i agree it totally is the best gen!

i gotta say sv is my second favorite now. it was just. Hough. aside from the obvious ways this game actually sucks, all the glitches and lagging and all that. what the game does well, it does REALLY well.

getting some gripes out of the way first. as good as the story was, nemona really got the short end of the stick here?? this didnt make me like her any less, i love her just as much as penny and arven, but just. unlike penny and arven she doesnt have as much story. she finds a good rival in you the protag and thats kind of it??

i do like sv's art style its nice the game was very pretty but. i do prefer the swsh art style HWJBDHF. i played sword for a bit two days ago to battle a friend and i just missed it. wouldnt mind if this was the style going forward but also want the old one back yknow

taking away the shiny sound is Stupid. i encountered a shiny voltorb and almost went past it because i was jumping and was going so fast i barely saw it in the bottom of the screen. i also tried the mass outbreak strategy today on a mimikyu outbreak, thought i found a shiny because a mimikyu looked grey, but it was just sitting in some shadows.

WHERE ARE THE CLOTHING OPTIONS...... was the school uniform only rule just an excuse to make less clothing options. i'm in hell man. thank god i picked violet i didnt like the orange on the outfits in scarlet.

the whole choose your own path thing they pushed as a selling point is kinda moot if the levels dont scale. also put me in a STUPID situation: for the water gym, you travel across the desert to another town, and that desert has a titan in it. so i thought hey, if these paths converge, surely its because its the next intended stop, right? iron treads wiping almost my whole team in its first phase probably isnt a sign that i'm not supposed to be here, right?? arven sent out a level 44 scovillain while i could only contribute Intimidate from my lv 22 staravia. i ended up using a guide to show me the "correct" path near the end, which was good bc i asked the pokemon center lady for my next destination and she told me to go fight Grusha and his lv 45 or so pokemon while my team was still in the 30s. thanks nurse joy for trying to get my ass kicked

onto everything i Did like though

i really loved this cast of characters!! all of them felt very unique i got attached to a lot almost instantly. i didnt think i'd like clavell all that much but oh my god he's so brilliant actually. arven stole the show though houghguhguhgu i cried THREE times because of this dude. will also say i ADORE grusha, rika and iono, and extra shoutout to that one greavard in the ryme fight. he was GROOVIN

i think the open world was handled Very well. traversal is a little awkward at times, miraidon sometimes doesnt cling to cliffs i jump on and said jumping can be clunky, but other than that, i thought the environments were very pretty (especially liked the gen 1 icon mosaics in that one town thats so cute). as someone who gets overwhelmed by open world games it also wasnt as overwhelming as others have been? i think i saw some people saying it wasnt enough, and i can see why they'd think so but if the map was any bigger i think i personally would have enjoyed it less haha.

noticed some altered pokemon animations which is small but very nice! i remember seeing it on lucario, gardevoir and the eeveelutions where they stand in more of a battle ready pose rather than. Just Standing There.

the pokemon designs were pretty hit or miss for me this gen but maybe i just need some time to warm up to them. but i do ADORE the future forms. hydreigon and volcarona look SO sick, i love how iron valiant mixes both gallade and gardevoir, and i just think its funny that they also included. Delibird. inbetween all these other powerful pokemon. havent seen any of the scarlet versions though i'll look them up later

i dont know if its true but it feels like theres a lot more Unique things about pokemon in this gen, like forms, moves and abilities? like maushold's and tatsugiri's forms, lots of evos got given to older pokemon. when eri sent out an annihilape i was STUNNED. i also appreciate the fact that all forms of a pokemon get a different dex entry. i want to try collecting all colors of flabebe and its evos for example, i somehow feel more rewarded when i get a new dex entry every time, even if it is kinda the same thing but rephrased.

ok now just. the STORY. i'm still an absolute mess over the ending i just. AUGH. i havent played a pokemon game spoiler free for so long, i did accidentally find out cassiopeia was penny a bit too early but it was late enough that i was connecting the dots already. but the ACTUAL ending with turo holy shit???? turo's message glitching at the fourth lock was creepy as hell. finding him slumped in that chair, him telling you the real turo is DEAD and what you've been talking to this whole time, what ARVEN resented for all this time, was an ai that just couldn't physically leave area zero? then the whole FIGHT with him, the way that textbox glitched out when the paradise protection protocol took over, him actually starting to terastallize himself was so??? being forced to leave as well even though he'd just reunited with arven, since he was tied to the time machine and part of why it would reboot every time it was disabled, but also because he still had the original turo's desire to study the future but had been trapped in area zero for so long. checking turo's lab before heading to the time machine shows theres a picture of arven and maschiff on the desk.... :(

(wondering how scarlet handled it actually. is sada also an ai? just assuming its different because the ai thing fits turo's futuristic stuff. i'll look it up sometime, i really wanna see how these cutscenes differ between versions)

ARVEN my god i. many thoughts head full. thought he was just gonna be the asshole rival but ohhh i was wrong. he's the guy ever. mabosstiff's recovery scene made me CRY, and then i just cried AGAIN at his meeting with ai turo. how old even is arven, how long has he just been. Alone. with no one but the miraidon he percieved as the one who destroyed his childhood, and the mabosstiff that was once his only true companion but couldn't even open its eyes anymore. crying over arven's story isnt enough i need to explode

arven's story was my favorite but i have to mention starfall street of course. i love all of team star so much it was so good going through and unravelling why team star does what they do. also team star boss battles were actually kinda difficult?? i was pretty underleveled through most of the game bc i was rushing a bit but WOW. i only won against eri because she Happened to use shift gears again despite near maxed stats already instead of just going for the kill.

anyway tldr. yes i understand this game is kinda garbage in that it was super rushed and glitchy and clearly unfinished on release but its just? the most fun i've had with a pokemon game in a while?? easily a top favorite of mine

i stopped playing right after the credits rolled, so if there's postgame, i dont know about it. i'll get around to it tomorrow

one extra thing i almost forgot actually! when explaining the time machine turo tells you a human could travel one way but is unable to return to the present. this is SO goddamn cruel of game freak to put in the game RIGHT AFTER POKEMON LEGENDS ARCEUS. maybe its different for people sent over by Gods, maybe arceus can circumvent this or smth, but since its the only time travel related crumb we have right now this is super distressing!!! are you telling me pla protag and ingo were on a one way trip this whole time!!!!!! fuck you put them back!!!!!!!!! finding out this lore tidbit on the same day some new pla art that includes ingo came out is so, so, SO mean

[aamethyst000]

Another Late night May 5,24 - 3:07am

Even when i take my meds, i cant seem to sleep. so i think i may need those melatonin stuff, i think ill take them in gummy form. now that i have emulators downloaded, i think that is what ill use up my time for. Especially if i cant sleep. Change of subject, since i havent worked for a whole ass year now, i am just going to start looking for a job. at least, what i can do here in this small(ish) village (i say "ish" because, as ive been told on may occasions, we arent exactly "small" we have about 4200 and more while the other villages has way less than that). there isnt much to do, and i want to save up money to move and possibly visit my older brother who lives down south. since ive been planning this for years, i have been getting better at saving up my money. so far, the method i have been using is working now. i got less than i have hoped but it is way better than nothing (i definitely would have cried about having no savings). im just so worried about never having enough. since prices have gone up, it has been making me very hesitant about moving anywhere. owning is too expensive, renting is way out of my limit, even with one other roommate. it got to the point where i added another person to my personal plan to move down south. I dont mind it, since its my best friend. but i also have plans to move in with my brother too. whoc was my original plan; find an appartment and move in with him.

then, after my little brother graduates, he and i can save up and have him move in with us! i want that more than anything. Before this whole ordeal. i wanted to move in with my 2(two) childhood best friends. then shit happens in our own life, individually that is, like, it got so bad that we drifted apart and it is not even our own fault (or am i just making an excuse for us?). It sucks, but what can i do? one lives in the same village as i do and i hardly go to see her, the other lives in town and she, herself, doesnt go see anyone othere than her immediate family. shit got crazy during our teen years man, it isnt even funny.

anyway, i figured, since i cant fall asleep, il just use this time to rant/vent about whatever was on my mind. and it seems to be on the past, im trying to let that go but i cant, or rather, i dont want to. cause as much as i hated being that young and naive, and those shit happening to us and around us. there were good moments that over ride the bad in my life, and i am desperately clinging on to that hope and happiness i had before turning 13-14. and that is way too young to be left undiagnosed and depressed.

but who would believe a teenager actually being depressed? we were "attention seekers" and "trend follower" (to be very fair though, i really did try to follow a lot of trends in my life) there was even a moment where i went to this little convention event thingy that was going on in my village, and it was about suicide prevention. so, i decided to go, because if i wasnt going to get help from my own family, i may as well get it from somewhere else (i really was trying so hard to activly not look for bad habits to start on, one of them was already developing without me knowing or realizing...so). when i got there, and we got into a circle to introducing ourselves, open up and talk. the instructor said to talk about why some of us choose to go to that event, so when it was my turn. i talked about how i--

((((by the way, very strong TRIGGER WARNING!!!! talks about suicide attempt and possible eating disorder))))

--was feeling so alone and just so very lost and caged up because of my ex boyfriend, i sat there on my bed with scissors i grabbed from the kitchen and just stared at my arm. i didnt message anyone, or even write a letter. i just wanted out. i opened the scissors enough to make it easy to hurt myself, that part alone i was trying to figure out how i should do it. that thought did scare me at the time but it does now, holy shit. anyway, i made the decision and then, like a movie theatre, memories of both my brothers played in my head, their smiles and laughter loud and clear for me. like someone was there just waiting for the right moment to show me them, who ever they were, im glad and thankful. because at the very lowest moment of my life, i was already struggling with my eating habits. there was no inbetween for me. i either ate a lot, enough to be "teased" about looking or "being preggo" which is sick by the way when your teasing a literal MINOR (12 through 17) about being pregnant. like, why would you even do that? anyway, it wasnt my family that unintentionally helped me develop those bad eating habits. it was my friends and me comparing myself to every girl and characters out there.

i didnt care that it was a bad thing to get into at the time, to me, i was surrounded by girls that were skinnier than me, or, who i thought were skinnier than me. ive seen photos that my family and friends took of me, i cannot believe that i ever thought i was ever fat, ever, but i guess thats what low self esteem and bad comparisons does to you. i mustve been looking through foggy mirrors how dysphoric(???) i fucking felt. it was so bad that most days i choose to either have one meal or throw that plate away in my own garbage bag and just have a toast for my first "meal". i didnt care about the calories i was eating up, or lack therof, like raw ichiban, dry cereal, or just popcorn, and on "good days" i let myself have pop and chips with my first meal which is usually dinner time. it made a bigger effect on me when my little brothers dad decided to act like a total bitch and not get any proper groceries and just get chicken nuggets, ichiban, cereal, hot dogs, milk, and rice.

so, i forgot to mention, but i was 16 when all of this was overwhelming me and when i nearly took my own life. i didnt tell this story as detailed as i did while in the circle, but as soon as i finished, feeling (while it was very short lived) lighter after i told my reasoning, you know what i heard? on my right, this elder lady: *snickers* "im sorry, i didnt mean to laugh, but i think that was cute. that was all?" i didnt hear the rest because i was ready to cry again. how can you say that? i shut down for the rest of my time there. i dont remember how long that event went, but i knew from there on, not to ever open up here in the village. ever. mind you, there were other servivors who talked about their own stories in their own ways but why was i laughed at? How in the ever loving fuck is what i almost did "cute"? how was my story not made a big deal just like the others? i wish i knew but that fucking hurt like hell.

((((END of TRIGGER WARNING))))

wow. i did not think that this would be a big post (journal entry) but here we are. im not going to lie, im still feeling iffy about posting this. or if i want to delete that whole section and just say " id rather not go into detail about my...." idk what else to call it other than my lowest point. i dont know what else to write about so i am going to get ready for bed and see if i can fall asleep after having a toke. cause right now, it is currently 4:16am and i want to get more than 4 hours of sleep tonight, or at least try to. hopefully i feel better after writing this out and sleeping on this. we shall see tomorrow.

good night.

[haunter-geist]

tw graphic descriptions of animal death;

grief is really hard to cope with, its kind of odd because ive lost people in my life before, like my nanas when i was a lot younger, but now losing my cat it. hits harder. Daimyo was my orange baby and best friend, this past year his health had been noticeably declining VERY quickly and he had been rapidly losing weight, and i knew he was close to the end a few months back when he started clinging to me and getting upset every time i left the room.

This cat loved me, the night before his passing when we were heading to bed, he curled up on a chair where my phone was placed (as there was no room on the bed) directly next to my head, and i knew he was dying in the morning when he got upset with me holding him, and simply flopping onto the bed when i set him down. He actively turned away from the tunafish i tried to give him in my vain attempt to get him to get up. Selfishly i couldnt sit and watch, and headed over to my siblings house to do something i had already planned for that day. I later heard once i got there, from my grandfather on the phone that Daimyo had tried to get up only to flop over onto the floor.

He held out for me. waited till he could be brought to me to pass. I heard him sniffle and maybe gasp for air before he looked at everyone else around me, and me, as i saw him grunt in pain at his body shutting down. The tears i had been so desperate to hold in during this finally spillt from my eyes, and i couldnt sit and watch his lifeless body, or his burial.

The room feels empty without him, his purring (which he did near constantly since he was very young. very content kitty, not like in the pain relieving way although it may have been that way towards the end of his life) was always very loud and i could easily hear it across the room. Its gone. I keep thinking i see him everywhere, i keep expecting him to try and leave the room to go scratch his claws on the carpet outside, im expecting to hear him meow for food, or the trickle of water as he drank from his fountain. or the sound of him at his cat box. Every sign of him is gone and i have a sinus infection so i cant smell whats left. my best friend of 15 years isnt here anymore and its so hard to cope with.

As hard as i try to be a rock for the rest of my family, whos affected as much as i am, i keep finding myself crying or breaking down, especially in the small moments where im alone. I miss him and the way he used to call for me whenever i paced in the hotel hallways with the door propped open a crack (which hed watch me through)

i miss being a 4/5 year old and holding him when he was a kitten and so so tiny.

I just wished i could have done something, but his health was out of my hands, as i had little to no transportation, and a father who refused to take him to the vet. Who loaded all of the responsibility onto someone with no job, money, transport, bank account, or phone service. i did my best to find vet services, and yet he still refused to take care of daimyo. I tried my best to spoil him in these last few months

i knew these months were past the point of no return in a way, i knew he wasnt going to get better even when he did start eating again. i gave him tiny bits of cheese, plenty of treats, catnip, anything to make him happy. he used to reach up and grab the cheese out of my hands while standing on his hind legs, i could get him to do tricks.

I knew when he stopped playing with his favorite toys a few months ago it was close and i still didnt want to think about it

i just wanted him to get better.

i tried my hardest to convince my dad to do something for years so maybe just maybe daimyo could stay for a few months to years longer. i just want him back. the memories are here yes but it feels like a piece of me is missing. im 19 and 15 of the years i had on this earth were with him. what am i to do? I knew it would be hard, but i didnt think it would feel like this. I didnt think it would hurt this bad.

i dont even want to wash the clothes i have that have throwup stains or hair on them, because its some sort of piece of him i can keep as weird and gross as it is. i just dont want to let him go.

[astranite]

aaahhhh i love this chapter!!!! I both want to cry over it and hug them both.

Virgil is so scared!! The past and the present blend together so vividly, especially your description of the sheets becoming the flying machine. For him, here and now and then everything revolves around saving Scott.

He’d not spoken up on any of the occasions when Dad had been there. Each time he’d gone quiet and small and almost… faded. Metaphorically, of course. Virgil guessed he was so convinced Dad thought he was a failure he wouldn’t even say anything anymore. The colour drained from him just like the day he put on that stupid grey baldric.

THIS ENTIRE PART!!!! The idea of any Scott going sad and small is heartbreaking, and Virgil is spot on there, cutting right to the core of how Scott is hurting. The image of the colour fading aaaahhhh, cause thats what happened!!!!

The pleas to be more careful that Scott shrugged off or argued away, the quiet moodiness that could last for days, the fake laughter at a younger brother’s jokes he knew Virgil hadn’t really heard, the endless gym sessions… it all gleamed out at him now like invisible ink under a black light.

Scott realisations of the impacts of that day on Virgil hit so hard!!! Oh, Scott!!! This part in particular keeps getting to me cause in hindsight now for Scott is so obvious and of course he's going to beat himself up about it. Then the description of a little brother's terrified brown eyes, that memory and how it slams into Scott is all the emotions.

And Scott's guilt is once again tearing him apart just as he was starting to forgive himself.

Scott had been wounding his best friend over and over and over. He’d been traumatising his faithful shadow for most of their lives.

Right here. Scott believes so surely that this is all his fault, for hurting Virgil, for hurting a little brother, the worst thing he could possibly do. I really want to give Scott a hug because he's struggling too and trying his best, and he doesnt deserve all the hurt he thinks he does for being less than some mythical perfect. Then he's crying as he tries to keep it together and oh Scott!!!

Then Virgil tries to leave Scott. Or in Virgil's head he tries to follow Scott because that's what he does. They are both so desperate and hurting.

Clutching his big-little brother in more of a vice grip than a hug, he buried his face in fluffy un-styled hair. The same fluffy hair that had been little Virgil’s trademark, that he had tried to blow out of his eyes as the two of them hung on the edge of disaster. ... Scott had missed the fluffy.

Oh little Virgil's fluffy hair and oh the history behind why it now must be rock solid and unmoving as the rest of him!!!! And that Scott misses it!!!! It adds such a physical aspect to the hug, how Scott's buries his face in it, with Scott's memories and the current pain.

Aaaahhh how Scott's clinging to Virgil and begging him not to go!!! But also how Virgil is struggling and squirming away!!! Scott knows that holding onto Virgil like this when he really doesnt want the hug isnt good, but he's also so scared to let him go. He's so scared he wont get another chance, almost as if this is his turn to pull Virgil away from the edge of the roof before he falls instead. They are both in the thick of so much hurt and desperation.

When it came it came as barely a whisper: “Scotty?”

The recognition!!!! This Scott, this one is Virgil's Scott. It matters so much that it isn't a Scott who knows the perfect words to say or is completely in control or is 'doing what dad wouldve done' that Virgil recognises, but Scott who is terrified and crying and vulnerable and all he wants in the world is for his little brother to stay.

Thank you for writing and sharing this as always :) I love it. I am having all of the emotions. Just aaaahhhh!!!! And *hugs*

Resurface 23 - Recognise

Story so far… if you haven’t read the account of the original teeny earth and sky situation (ch 21&22) this won’t make as much sense.

The emotional whump train continues… but there is a hug! Well, kinda… sort of. Um. *coughs awkwardly*

In my defence these boys have a lot of mess to exorcise and everything will be much better once it’s all out in the open. I promise.

Sorry Scooter… but you had to figure it out one day…

💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙

“You saved me Virg. If you hadn’t been there…”

Virgil barely heard the words, every muscle strained to the limit and locked solid at the memory of trying to lift his bigger, heavier brother just enough so he could grab hold of the gutter. Scotty’s eyes were wide and scared in a way Virgil had never seen and his face was splattered with red.

He could almost feel the pins and needles in his ramrod straight legs, pressed hard against the mattress, bracing against the sheets which were suddenly much heavier than he was. The terror at his legs being trapped and the dread of what would happen if they suddenly weren’t trapped swirled around each other in his mind.

His arms trembled. He wasn’t strong enough. Scotty needed him to be bigger and he was too small. He was always too small and he wasn’t going to be enough…

But then suddenly he was. He was enough! He’d done it! And Scotty was there beside him and he was ok and Dad was there too and…

No! NO! Nonono Dad couldn’t find out! He’d promised so faithfully he wouldn’t tell.

He looked up at Scotty who was quiet. He’d been ever so quiet. He hadn’t approved of Virgil telling Dad those home truths but when would he ever hear a word against the man? He’d not spoken up on any of the occasions when Dad had been there. Each time he’d gone quiet and small and almost… faded. Metaphorically, of course. Virgil guessed he was so convinced Dad thought he was a failure he wouldn’t even say anything anymore. The colour drained from him just like the day he put on that stupid grey baldric.

The fury bubbled up again but he squashed it back. He needed to focus on the moment so instead he opened his mouth to beg his brother’s forgiveness for accidentally telling their greatest secret to the one person Scotty had never wanted to know it.

But Scotty was walking away. No! Please wait!

He threw the shattered remains of the flying machine off of his legs and followed his brother towards the infirmary door, dodging under his father’s outstretched arm.

💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙

“You saved me Virg. If you hadn’t been there… I’m so sorry. I should never have put you in that position. I could have killed you, killed us both… I… I was such…”

Scott tailed off as he wondered at the impact that day must have had on his nine-year old saviour. He hadn’t thought about it for years, they’d had so many near death experiences since then it barely registered but… he felt himself flush with shame as the realisation crept over him… The way Virgil sometimes reacted to those subsequent situations made a lot more sense.

The pleas to be more careful that Scott shrugged off or argued away, the quiet moodiness that could last for days, the fake laughter at a younger brother’s jokes he knew Virgil hadn’t really heard, the endless gym sessions… it all gleamed out at him now like invisible ink under a black light.

And the petrified brown eyes of his baby brother stared down over the edge as he pulled Scott back again and again and again.

Virgil himself had dropped the relentless eye contact and was instead twisting the bedsheet viciously in his hands, no doubt reliving in his own way the same experience Scott had tried to summarise in halting, insufficient words. His face was so full of fear Scott wanted nothing more than to take him in his arms and scare away the monsters.

But he wasn’t sure now that the monster wasn’t him.

All of John and Grandma’s insistence that he couldn’t blame himself for Virgil’s condition, that it wasn’t his fault he was shot down and captured and Virgil had just got sick because he loved him so much… the reassurance he was slowly beginning to let himself believe suddenly crumbled to dust.

It WAS his fault.

Virgil had been hurting for years.

Even after Scott came home.

… no.

Especially after Scott came home. And ever since.

Scott had been wounding his best friend over and over and over.

He’d been traumatising his faithful shadow for most of their lives.

The guilt was acid. It was eating away at the fibres of his muscles. He wasn’t sure his legs were really capable of supporting his weight anymore but he forced them do it anyway. He couldn’t crack now. He couldn’t cry now. He mustn’t. He was. Damn. He wiped his face impatiently. He got a steely grip of himself and focussed back on his brother.

Who suddenly looked over at the door, flung his sheets back and leapt out of bed.

Virgil’s face was twisted in such desperation there was not a cell in Scott’s body that could prevent what happened next.

He threw himself into Virgil’s path, spun as his brother evaded his reach and caught him on the second attempt. Clutching his big-little brother in more of a vice grip than a hug, he buried his face in fluffy un-styled hair. The same fluffy hair that had been little Virgil’s trademark, that he had tried to blow out of his eyes as the two of them hung on the edge of disaster. The hair Virgil had never allowed to stay fluffy again because after that day he declared he was too grown up for crazy baby hair. It wasn’t practical. It got in the way of things he had to do. The style had changed wildly over the years but was always solid, always controlled. Scott had missed the fluffy.

The crack was unstoppable and Scott’s voice emerged in a ragged sob:

“Virgie don’t go! Please? I’m so sorry!”

Virgil struggled and tried to wriggle away but Scott couldn’t make himself let go. He heard his brother take a deep breath in through his nose and braced himself for being thrown off by the much stronger man. It would be deserved. Virgil didn’t want this right now, that was clear… this hug was solely for Scott’s benefit not Virgil’s and it wasn’t ok to do that.

But he couldn’t let him go because he didn’t know when he’d get another chance to tell him… he raced to say how sorry he was for everything and how much he loved Virgil and how he couldn’t do any of it without him and “Please Virg, forgive me and come back…”

The expected push didn’t come. Virgil had frozen.

Scott stopped talking.

When it came it came as barely a whisper:

“Scotty?”

💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚

[faorism]

BILLOWS BEAT OFF WHISPERED WINGS: A DAEMON AU: i will be posting more of this series here and on ao3! i might change the title, who knows

hardison is an eastern red bat named t'pris (they thought it was spelled teepris until they watched star trek and were like AH designated trekkie by birth name). settled age sixteen. he is a witch that traveled dimensions when he was young, triggered by when he felt particularly lonely. then he got to nanas and he was :(( so he had the look in his eye and Nana was like OH NO YOU DONT and turns out she is a witch too. he does age at a human rate, unlike nana. 

parker's is a raccoon named jack, settled age nine. he had taken to rabbits and hares when she was very small, because they loved bunny. she was convinced he would be a jackalope (hence, why she think she gave him the name jack, but they cant remember if that was his given name in the first place). settled when her foster father took Bunny and jack needed lil clever thief hands to steal bunny back. they are stretched but not separated, so that jack can help out with thievery.

eliot has a cecropia moth, which is the biggest n.american moth. her name is hazel (although eventually hazel will use they/them, but im not sure when that will start). settled age fifteen. hazel and eliot are severed by age twenty-four, as is typical with elite soldiers and contractors and such. they do not have a good relationship, because age twenty-eightish, eliot abandoned left hazel with toby because eliot knew he was getting into some bad shit and didn't want her hurt.

MORE HEADCANONS ABOUT THE OT3 (but mostly hazel since the series would be mostly in her pov) IN THIS VERSE BELOW

when hazel realized eliot wasn't coming back for her, she begged toby to bring her to aimee. (partly because his daemon and her didn't mesh, partly because hazel missed aimee, and partly because she didn't want eliot to ever find her if he decided to drag his ass back.) 

when the crew does the job for the martins, aimee and her horse daemon hickory tell hazel she has to go back to eliot because (1) he's changed, give him a chance but mostly (2) aimee has to move on. hazel is Not Happy, especially when she learns eliot carries around a prosthetic dormant cicada in a bug case claiming thats his daemon.

hazel ignores eliot but does go to his apartment to grouse, and when they make it to boston she strictly hangs out at nates. 

since shes always there, hazel gives comfort to parker when parker comes crying after the psychic job, landing on her knee. parker is like. oh. i can feel how fuzzy your body is, i really like that, you probably feel... and hazel tells parker she can pet her. parker gets a couple strokes in before starting to cry, the last time she touched another person's daemon being her little brother's. 

hazel quickly falls into trust/in love with parker, who kinda just is like. okay so i guess hazel is mine now. everyone is like UM THATS NOT HOW THIS WORKS. but hazel, parker, and even eliot are like. hazel is her own daemon and can do what she wants independent of eliot (they are so stupid omg). hazel starts to go out on jobs grifting as parkers daemon, staying in her hair like an elegant headpiece while jack goes and does thievery.

later, hazel tries to get cozy with hardison but alec is like ABSOLUTELY NOT, STOP FLIRTING WITH ME, I AM NOT TOUCHING YOU. and then parker is like, duh, go ahead? we are dating and even though jack isnt ready, hazel is and she is independent. but alec is like, okay that's nice but also eliot is involved in this IM SORRY HAZEL, HE IS. so consent is not obtained. 

eliot eventually catches him and is like. hazel came to talk with me, saying you wanted "both coparent's" permission. just.... you have it. and alec is like. .......... internally: goddddddddsd I wanna kiss him so badddddd

when Alec is buried, poor t'pris was left behind, clinging to nate's coywolfs fur. She won't let go, so she ends up in the car with nate and eliot. they go in one direction and she starts freaking out, yelling that it's the wrong direction, they are gonna break them apart. they turn around immediately but t'pris is inconsolable. the coywolf and hazel both are like, come back here now eliot, she needs human warmth. eliot refuses to touch her, so he scoops her into his beanie and cradles her to his chest. 

after the ordeal, t'pris absolutely wants to be cuddled by eliot all the time as her and alec are dealing with The Trauma, so eliot gets one of those phone cases that goes on a belt or lanyard, and carries her that way. eliot has no right to laugh at the sling alec uses for jack once he warms up to being held.

the three of them freak leverage international newbies the fuck out who are like.... dear god if we join is there just daemon socialist anarchy???! and the answer is no but also technically kinda yes? everyone thinks hazel is parker's, t'pris is eliots, and jack is alecs.

it takes two years post s5 for the ot3 to get together despite them and their daemons being all over each other. they are awful and so very stupid.

t'pris likes to tease hazel about how eastern red moths' diet mainly consists of moths. hazel just pointedly flaps her wings and says GODDAMN. TRY. ME. t'pris does not try hazel.

eventually hazel and eliot make up, but it's probably telling of me that i am not sure how. eliot in the meantime is extremely deferential to her, and basically this verse is a love story between them two (aka, eliot and his soul) wherein (as @redgoldblue described) "eliot finds himself in his new family (as very explicitly pointed out in the two horse job) but he hasn’t FOUND himself yet it’s a process so his daemon… who also, separately, finds a home in the same family before ever coming back to eliot"

since the two fliers of the group have bodies about three inches long, jack loves using his weird lil hands to double fist his daemon partners' fuzzy lil bodies. 

[sse0jin]

genshin guys as people you'd meet out in the world but they're based off of dreams i had.

honestly i wrote these while i was sleep deprived and they were more for my friends bc i love them. also some or all of them might be ooc bc hey theyre based off of my dreams. enjoy

zhongli ; sophiscated looking guy you meet in the cafe. you try not to stare, you really tried not to but as soon as you looked away from him you slip and god you close your eyes and held out your hands in hopes that it'll lessen the impact. instead you feel an arm steadying you by wrapping itself arround your waist. you open your eyes as soon as you feel the arm, and the iced coffee going down your leg. hes apologizing but hey, even though your leg's sticky, smells like coffee, and it'll definitely stain your pants, he's adorable so you accept his apologies.

kaeya ; the flirty guy across the street. he's covered in layers protecting him from the harsh snow but he's definitely parading his face and as he should because GOD DAMN is he handsome. he sees you lurking about infront of your house waiting for something, who knows what? and waves at you and proceeds to shamelessly compliment your legs since you didnt bother to change your shorts out in the winter. you're embarrassed but now you know a cute neighbour thinks you have really hot legs.

thoma ; your rental boyfriend. nice and adorable and endearingly chivalrous, you've totally fallen in love with this gentleman ever since he followed you around everywhere, listened to you talk with great interest and talked with you like you've been together since ages ago but you know your love isnt meant to be considering he's only doing this for your money. you knew the illusion breaks at 12 am.

diluc ; your academic rival. he's cold and intimidating and unbelievably attractive. he scowls at you, face stuck in a bored expression otherwise. but deep inside he's lonely and grateful for your presence as he remembers you being nice to him even with his unapproachable nature, he hopes you're not being nice out of obligation. check your locker for a letter written in elegant writing tomorrow.

childe ; the handsome part timer at a grocery store. dude, you are so lost and it didn't even occur to you to look up and read grocery signs until you asked a man with red hair and contagious smile on where the tomatoes are. he happily leads you to them instead of pointing them out. hey, maybe they got a discount on cute boys today?

itto ; the guy in the club who saves you from a creep. okay it's been half an hour and you're really sure that someones been following you, you don't want to go home in risk of exposing yourself so you go to a crowded place that's up this late, a club. you walk in and spot a guy drinking by himself in the bar and approach him. you cling to him and whisper your situation and you're immediately held by him and accompanied until your stalker gave up. you paid for his next drink and kissed him goodbye.

xingqiu ; the cute guy in the library. okay, not to be a total loser but you've definitely been peeking at this guy looking through the library shelves for the past several minutes. he was dressed expensively and holy shit deserved cause he's really adorable. sometimes he'd pick a book and read the back of it before shaking his head and placing it back. you stop because it was getting a bit weird until moments later you feel a tap on your shoulder, you look up and it's the cute guy asking if he can borrow the book you're reading after youre done. shit, you really gonna make him wait? course not, you told him you were done and handed the book to him which earned you a thank you and a smile.

razor ; that guy that keeps visiting the animal shelter you work at to interact with the animals. you really don't know how long this dude has been doing this but you've only been here for 3 months and fuck it he's really cute. the animals looks excited everytime he comes over. you would be lying if you said you didn't find him adorable everytime he quietly coos at a dog. one day you approach him and asked if he wanted to help you feed them threats and you swear you've never seen someone light up so fast they start vibrating. you guys feed the animals and from then on he starts greeting you and looking forward for when he spends more time with you.

xiao ; the cold classmate who always sits near the windows. he's cute and cool and super smart but you're 99% sure this guy doesn't have friends. you take it upon yourself to try and talk to him but he ignores you anyway. one day you apologize for your behaviour and turn to leave but he stops you. his face was really red and you're REALLY certain you can see tears forming in his eyes, he asks you to stay and so you did.

venti ; the super popular idol you accidentally bump into. he's disguised and you apologize repeatedly for bumping into him but he lets out this?? angelic laugh and you SWEAR you know this voice but you can't quite remember. you give him your number and rushed away to your destination, leaving him dumbfounded as he gently puts away the paper in his pocket. next time you meet it's in a meet and greet because your friend dragged you with them. venti spots you and takes out his phone and the crowd goes silent as they're confused of what he's doing. in this quiet ass venue your ringing phone breaks the silence and you're really fucking embarrassed until venti shouts, "found you!"

bennett ; your super duper cute underclassman friend. you met him while his and your classes co-joined for a school activity and he accidentally tripped onto absolutely nothing and you rush in to save him. he exclaims loudly that that was the first time someone broke his fall and now he's super attached to you calling you his lucky charm. well he's cute so you let it slide.

albedo ; the professor everyone has a crush on. yeah, he's hot and way overqualified to be this school's science and art teacher. smart AND artistic? jesus take the wheel. he's easy to approach, albeit a little weird but everyone over looks it because he's geniunely a really good teacher and a good guy.

(bonus)

scara ; xbox kid who knew what slurs to call u cuz hes an empath

[beeindaclouds]

heyy! i really enjoy your works and i just recently made a tumblr to follow you and others! if there isnt already could i be star anon? ALSO fun fact i am talking to a v sweet guy who is totally ok w me being trans and literal butterfiles. could we have how like dteam + punz + karl react to you being trans (afab to non binary w they/he pronouns?) (romantic)

Hallo thank you for requesting!

Welcome to my blog! And yes, I can totally add you, welcome to the family star anon <3

I'm so happy to hear that you've found someone and I hope he treats you right ^^

Hope you enjoy <3

Some of the DSMP reacting you being Trans

Includes: Dream, Georgenotfound, Sapnap, Karl Jacobs, Punz

Reader: from afab to non binary, they/he

Click here before requesting, please <3

You've never told anyone that you were trans

Of course people, especially those close to you, had their ideas but kept it to themselves to not sound mean or intrude

Which you much appreciated

But you wanted to at least tell your own boyfriend that you were, especially now that you've been dating for a while

So, you did. And the results were more than positive

❝ Dream ❞

Not only does he remind you everyday of how much he loves you beyond just your gender

He will go out of his way to buy you stuff that will make you comfortable in your own body

Need a hair cut? He's got it

You didn't want to wear a dress for a wedding and wanted a suit? He takes you to buy one

Dream will actually punch whoever dares say anything bad to you. Man does not hold back, he loves you very much

❝ Georgenotfound ❞

George's reaction was very underwhelming, but for the right reasons

He never fell in love with your body or your gender, he just loved you

So whether you were a girl or non binary never mattered to him

Did that fact almost brought you to tears? Yes. Did George immediately hug you thinking he said something wrong? Absolutely

But you made sure to tell him that you were ok, just taken back by his amazing words

❝ Sapnap ❞

Sapnap is always your number one supporter no matter what you do or say

So when you came out to him he was just simply happy that you had told him

If you ever needed advices or help or comfort he'd quickly be by your side

And if anybody dared insult you he'd curse them out. Literally. Toxic Sapnap is scary, ok?

You both probably share wardrobe because not only is it comfy but it smells like each other so

❝ Karl Jacobs ❞

He's just so proud of you for coming out to him and it's so happy to see that you have found yourself

He has reassured you many times that he'll continue to cling to you no matter what gender you are

Nothing much changes between you two, he loves you just as much as he did before you told him anything

And you are very grateful for that

❝ Punz ❞

Mans's like "Really? Cool" and moves on xD

It's not that he's not interested he just doesn't see it as something that would put you under a different light

He does start giving you more of his hoodies tho, which you simply adore

And if someone makes fun of you it's frikin over from them, doesn't matter the gender, they're death on sight

Punz will also go out of his way to correct any person that says your pronouns wrong, or name if you wanted to change it