#while they worship Keefe

[clarissaweasley-10]

reblog if you love both Keefe and the other characters equally (or to an extent equally).

[cynicalclairvoyantcadaver]

COMPARING JUDE DUARTE TO PERCY JACKSON AND SOPHIE FOSTER

So, I've read TFOTA, KOTLC and PJO, and I'm sure many other people have done the same. I've been comparing Jude to Percy and Sophie for a long time, so I wanted to type it out and make an analysis. Here we go now.

One thing I find about Jude is that she's different from both Percy and Sophie in the sense that she's thrust into a hostile world where she had no friends and had to fend for herself pretty early on. Her parents are murdered right in front of her eyes and she's taken to Elfhame, and we know that the TFOTA faeries don't like humans-most of them at least.

And while Sophie is also thrust into an entirely different system, it's friendly to her. Yes, she misses her human family and Amy, but Shannon barely goes into this. Sophie's not harmed or looked down upon (except by a few people, and they're not that relevant.) In fact, she's quite important and gets a lot of help (along with a bunch of trauma, though. Not trying to downplay Sophie's experience).

Percy also discovers the world of demigods, but he doesn't have to leave much behind-the mythological and modern world are heavily intertwined, so actually gains something, which means that he can go on living his life like he used to, except with advantages now (except being hunted by monsters)

Which brings me to my first point-

JUDE HAS NO PROTECTION SYSTEM OR HELP

Sure, she's Madoc's ward, but she's not his actual daughter. But she's a human in Elfhame-and we all know what that means. Those of us who have read the books, at least. Sure, being Madoc's adopted daughter gives her some protection, but it doesn't stop her from being glamoured and traumatized. It doesn't stop her ring finger's tip from being bitten off at 9 years old, by one of Madoc's servants no less, right in his stronghold. It doesn't stop the servants from mentally abusing her by making her feel inferior and telling her that she is lucky to be raised like this. Jude herself says that Tatterfell was probably considering pricking the former with a pin, implying that Tatterfell has done it before, which is still physical abuse. It doesn't prevent her from being drugged and danced around against her will at 11, and it doesn't stop her from being bullied by Cardan and Co.

Now moving onto Percy and Sophie-they had amazing support systems. Percy had Camp Half Blood. He was Poseidon's son, a Big Three Kid, and they're practically worshipped. He had so many friends at camp. He had Chiron and his mom Sally, who was an AMAZING parental figure. And then Percy had Paul. Percy also had Poseidon at times, though the latter rarely showed up-he still helped Percy quite a lot. Percy also had the gods. Artemis and Apollo helped him. Aphrodite helped him. Poseidon helped him. Dionysus helped him. Hestia helped him. Hera guided them through the labyrinth and made Percy's arrow fly perfectly. Hephaestus helps him too. The majority of the Olympian council has helped Percy, and without their help, he'd be nowhere. He also has magic, insane magic powers and he's pretty magically powerful, which Jude is not. She doesn't have any magic-the closest thing she has to it is the geas that makes her immune to glamours, and that Prince Dain placed on her when she asked him to. Percy is basically a Chosen One after all the other Big Three kids (Thalia-huntress, Bianca-dead and Nico-too young) are pushed out.

Sophie also has a great support system. She's got many parental and trusted authority figures-Elwin, Alden, Grady, Edaline and Della. She also has her friend circle-Keefe, Fitz, Biana, Dex, Wylie, Marella, Linh, Tam-which rapidly expands and the support of the Black Swan. AND she has powerful magic and is a chosen one like Percy. Something else that Jude doesn't have.

To summarise this, Percy and Sophie had great support systems that they could lean on and they were helped by others quite a lot (especially Percy) whereas Jude mostly helped herself.

JUDE HAS NO GOOD PARENTAL FIGURES OR FRIENDS

Unlike Percy and Sophie, Jude doesn't have healthy parental figures either. But! you say. But she has Madoc! Madoc is not a healthy parental figure.

Jude loves him in an uncomfortable way, yes. He cares about her, yes. He insisted that she be raised like the Gentry Faeries-that she learn swordplay and strategy, wear beautiful gowns and attend Faerie revels. But he still murdered her parents right in front of her eyes when she was a child. He still ran his sword through her and left her out to bleed. He still abandoned her to die when he felt that she was a hindrance. He loves her, yes, and he would do a lot for her, but he is in no way a healthy parental figure. Oriana is not a parental figure to Jude. She's only Oak's mother. Not Jude's, not Taryn's, not Vivienne's. She is, in fact, normally cold and stand offish with them, though she can be helpful at times. Taryn is Jude's closest 'friend' and we know how many times she betrays Jude during the course of the series (Locke and Madoc). Vivienne is perhaps the healthiest relationship that Jude has (besides the Court of Shadows). She's a good sister who has come through plenty of times for Jude when no one else has, supplying her and Taryn with quick magic whenever necessary…… but even she has her limits. First of all, she doesn't want to stay in Elfhame forever. She understandably hates and doesn't want to live with her parents' murderer, but where else can she live in Elfhame? Even if she could live somewhere else, she doesn't want to, and wants to go back to the Mortal Realm. She stays for Jude and Taryn, then leaves for Heather. She is also somewhat selfish and doesn't listen to Jude either. She doesn't help Jude with politics either-Jude is able to trust Vivienne because the latter stays loyal to Jude, but only for so long till she tires and goes back to the Mortal Realm. And this is where I come to the Court of Shadows. Honestly, they're one of my favorite parts of TFOTA. Their relationship with Jude is amazing-BUT, hear me out. I'm talking about Jude for the whole decade that she lived in Elfhame, and she didn't even have the Court of Shadows for a fraction of that time. So yes, they're her best support system, even if The Ghost was under Locke and then Madoc's control for much of the series-and he showed remorse afterwards and apologised. Even if the Bomb tried to kill Jude because the former understandably thought that the latter was trying to kill Cardan-and she showed remorse afterwards and apologized. And there's no time when the Roach actively tries to harm Jude. Yeah, I love these guys' dynamic so much, I'd read a whole book on them. (Honorable mention for Fand here-while she was not Jude's friend, she was friendly with her and was Jude's first personal guard as Queen).

To summarise this paragraph, Jude didn't have a good support system her whole 10 years-Madoc's protection didn't always protect her, Taryn is self-explanatory and Vivienne could be selfish and had her limits as well. Except at the very end when Jude joined the Court of Shadows.

PERCY AND SOPHIE WERE CHOSEN ONES

Percy and Sophie were also 'Chosen Ones'. Percy was the prophecy kid, the Savior of Olympus, and Sophie is the Black Swan's weapon. Jude is not a Chosen One-being a mortal in Faerie, she's quite the opposite. She's simultaneously at a high rung of a ladder due to being Madoc's ward and at a low rung, due to being a human among faeries. She never had any magical powers and was at a severe disadvantage due to this for most of her time in Elfhame until Dain gave her the geas.

To summarise this paragraph-Percy and Sophie were magically powerful 'chosen ones', something Jude was most definitely not-in fact, she was the opposite until she got Dain's geas.

Percy and Sophie were already at the top of the ladder-they only had to climb a few rungs, while Jude was quite lower than they were, though not at the very bottom, and she had to climb a whole lot more than they did.

These facts make Jude a more compelling protagonist than Percy or Sophie to some people.

TO CONCLUDE Now, I'm not trying to bash Percy or Sophie here-Jude had 10 years in Elfhame while Sophie barely has 3 years in the Lost Cities and Percy only has 2-3 years of training his powers. There's a difference between the appeal of Jude versus Percy and Sophie-the first one's appeal is a powerless person rising to power and the second appeal is being a powerful person, an important chosen one, and having people admire and look up to you. Both can appeal to different people and the same people. But protagonists like Jude have an appeal that protagonists like Percy and Sophie can never have.

I think Jude is somewhat like Luke-ruthless and willing to do anything to ensure her loved ones' safety, including killing. She also rebels against the system like Luke and changes part of it by breaking the mold to fit herself in there. I'm not sure whom she's like from KOTLC, but if I had to pick a person, I'd pick either Forkle or Fintan-ruthless, morally grey, willing to do a lot to break the system and get accepted.

Though she is WAYYYYYYY morally better than them-a lighter shade of gray, if you will. She would never kidnap and torture a bunch of children for information and she'd never leave them to find their own way home when the chances are quite low.

I also think, that if the circumstances mandated it, Percy could be as ruthless as Jude if required. I'm not quite sure about Sophie, due to the whole elf guilt mental break thing, but I think that she could also be ruthless like Jude if she can convince herself that it's for the greater good and her loved ones.

Whew, this might be my masterpiece post. Well, if you have any counter arguments, then feel free to post them. I might edit this, so don't be surprised if it changes.

@the-way-astray I know you've read both KOTLC, PJO and TFOTA, so here you go. In return for your amazing Keefe Sencen analysis, this is my somewhat meagre gift to you :)

@roseadleyn, I know you like Jude a lot and you've read PJO too-I'm not sure if you've read KOTLC, though

@madockisser, I read your cruel prince posts and really liked your analyses, so I want to tag you here-if you want me to remove it, please say so

@imaginelovewrite, obviously. I hope you like this! Jude and Oriana coming soon

@rosabell14, ok, so I don't know if you've ever read TFOTA or KOTLC, but I thought you might like this analysis. Feel free to tell me to remove you if you want

@lady-menrva

@my-pjo-stuff

@justaneedle

Not sure who else to tag-feel free to tag people if you reblog this!

[ahoyimlosingmymind]

Can I get some Fitz hcs (Just like general thoughts you have about him? :))

These are literally all angst. Not an ounce of hurt/comfort

Fitz Vacker has academic anxiety like you've never seen. He may be smart, but a lot of his academic rigor is not there naturally. His good grades don't just fall into his lap like everyone seems to assume. This boy runs on red-eyes and brain fog 90% of the time and is just masterful at faking it till you make it

He actually has a hard time forming real friendships with people because he's used to being used to garner status. He's better socialized around adults because of the isolation and seclusion he felt from the 'celebrity worship' he experienced, or the extreme jealousy issues his peers projected onto him

he has a hard time connecting with the people in his immediate friend group to this day bc his status still hangs over all of their heads. There's always an undercurrent of resentment he can't even blame his friends for having against him

He dreaded the end of the school year award ceremonies because he always came out as top of his class but it was never seen as something he earned. It would get hard to breathe when awards were announced. People whispered. swore the whole thing was rigged.

He was often giving ability presentations to adults to be evaluated and deemed gifted and the stress of being perfect was crippling when he was little.

He always felt like he was living in a glass bubble, looking in on people but unable to really form bonds. Lots of derealization growing up, when there were lots of eyes on him. He got really good at running on autopilot and pretending to be present for people.

his time in the human world was oddly traumatic but he wouldn't tell a soul about it. He was used to feeling like a piece of meat in the lost cities, but in the real world, with his looks- he received a lot of unwanted attention from people and it caused a lot of self-perception issues and shame

he was exposed to more violence than he'll ever admit to in the human world. and he thinks that's part of the reason he has such a high threshold for it compared to other elves.

Fitz looked up to Alvar a lot but knew that his older brother didn't have the same affection for him.

He often felt like the world pitted him and his siblings against each other, and like Biana and Alvar had a closer bond than he did to either of them. Which led him to become really close with his dad, which only made the divide between the kids worse.

His friendship with Keefe was a lot deeper than anyone ever seemed to pick up on. He saw a lot of himself in Keefe but was too ashamed to admit it, for fear of sounding like he was searching for pity.

When he bakes it's usually to keep a panic attack at bay. It used to be a fun hobby that was light-hearted, but now it's the only thing he feels like he has an ounce of control over, and it's just become a coping mechanism.

He has a lot of silent panic attacks. Random bouts of tightness in his chest and shortness of breath that he can usually pass off as sighs

He's really close with Grizel who is often the one who senses these panic attacks because they're often too low-key for someone with normal senses to tell. She'll get him out of rooms, place a hand on his shoulder etc...

it happened a lot during the time Alvar was living on the Everglen property again. He didn't feel safe in his own bedroom half the time, even if Grizel sat at the foot of his bed while he slept.

He literally cannot sleep without Mr. Snuggles.

Bro is an insomniac who will pace around his house for hours at night until his brain physically knocks him out

Fluff Bonus!

Biana and him have grown closer since Alvar's betrayal, and she'll often keep him company while he bakes if she can tell it's getting into 'manic avoidance of dealing with feelings' territory.

She taught him to braid hair when they were little and he does it when he's nervous and needs to do something with his hands.

and if you like lavacake- he does it to Marella's hair all the time mindlessly <3

He collected lots of silly things from the human world and actually really loves human music. He's not supposed to have it though.

[the-way-astray]

This is not alayda. See if you can guess who it is!

—————

Title: Never Change

Pairing: Stria x Keefe

—————

Stria buried her head in her pillow, wishing she could take back the way she’d handled quite possibly the worst social interaction of her entire life.

It isn’t every day you come face to face with the boy you hate the most. How is one supposed to act in that situation? Perhaps a polite smile and nod would have been appropriate if said boy hadn’t spontaneously asked, “Why do you hate me?” in a tone that implied such a cocktail of emotions, one wishes they were an Empath so they might be able to decipher them.

In face, Stria wished she was an Empath in that moment. She would have grabbed Keefe’s hand and parroted his emotions off to him, loudly. Give him a taste of his own medicine.

Instead, she was left guessing at the tone behind his words. It seemed like they’d bubbled over, like it was something he’d contemplated, something that bothered him, taking Stria off guard. She hadn’t realized Keefe knew she existed. Maybe if she’d been expecting the interaction, or if it made any sense at all, she would have handled it with more grace, or at least not landed herself in the situation she was in now.

Her response to his question was a rather snarky, “What, not used to girls who don’t worship the ground you walk on?” She could hardly believe the sentence had come out of her mouth. She should have just ignored him and continued to hate him from afar.

She expected him to bite back with another snarky remark, perhaps accompanied by his trademark smirk. It would have been on-brand for him. Maybe he would have expected a banter to start up, which Stria would have quickly shut down. But instead, he just deflated, like he was already tired. “Sounds like you’ve made up your mind about me, then.”

“Definitely,” Stria agreed. “How do you even know I hate you?”

“You told enough people.” There was a semblance of the smirk she hated, just like everything else about him. “Things get back to me, you know. I hear all the rumors. I just… I don’t know you, Stria.”

“You don’t.”

“And you don’t know me.”

“And I don’t care to.”

“So if you don’t know me and you don’t care to know me, how can you hate me?”

“If you don’t know me and don’t care to know me, why should you care that I hate you?” Stria countered.

“Who said I didn’t care to know you?”

Stria’s jaw dropped, especially since the smooth way he’d collected himself back into his trademark personality had been almost seamless, and now he was… what, flirting with her? Was that what that version of his smirk meant? “I’m beginning to remember why I don’t interact with you.”

“You needed a reminder, huh?”

“Hardly.”

“Look, I’m just interested.” He shrugged. He didn’t seem desperate anymore, and Stria wondered if that had just been a part of his act. “How can someone who barely knows anything about me hate me so passionately?”

Goodness, he simply didn’t drop subjects, did he? “If I gave you a list of concrete reasons, would you leave me alone?”

“Sure.”

Stria didn’t even know if she believed him, but she gave him the list, alright. It was a horrible decision. She should have just verbally listed a few random things he did that she just liked—perhaps his ridiculous jokes. But no, she unzipped her bag, pulled out her handwritten, ever-growing list of Reasons Keefe Sencen Is A Horrible Person, which was now up to 75 pages long, and handed it to Keefe Sencen himself.

While Keefe took a moment to figure out what he was holding, surprised to be handed a physical list, Stria turned around and briskly walked away without another word.

And now she had her head buried in her pillow, because… why had she done that?!

Stria’s imparter buzzed, interrupting her spiral. She was being hailed by… the one person she wanted most to not be hailed by.

Sighing, she answered him for the sole purpose of greeting him with: “I thought you said if I gave you the list you’d leave me alone.”

Keefe didn’t attempt a witty response. “Are you stalking me?”

Stria blinked. “Am I what?”

“How do you know half the stuff on this list? I mean, half of it is just you being mad that I have a personality, and the other half is…” Keefe winced. “Listen. It’s not like I’ve never made a mistake. But how do you know about half this stuff? These conversations… who told you about them?”

Oh. He was asking that question. “Uh… it’s hard to explain. I kind of walked through the fourth wall to get here, so…”

“The what?”

“I’m not stalking you. I don’t care enough about you to stalk you.”

Keefe pressed his lips together. “Okayyyy,” he said slowly, drawing out the word. “You don’t care about me… but you keep a comprehensive list of all the reasons you don’t like me.”

“Yep.”

“Kind of seems like you might be compensating for how much you do care.”

Stria shook her head vehemently. “Nope. If I liked you at all, that would be a very different essay. It might include an examination of your childhood trauma and how it made you into a manipulative person who runs from his problems.”

“I… what?”

“Go bother Katie. Please.”

“I don’t even want to know. Listen…” Keefe sighed. “Do you want to, you know, meet up for—”

“No.”

“—smoothies—”

“Nope.”

“—in Atlantis?”

“I said no.”

“You could tell me all about how I can be a better person so you won’t have to keep adding to this list,” Keefe offered, and this time, when a challenging spark lit up in his eye, Stria didn’t find it annoying.

Was Keefe inviting her to tear him to shreds over Elvin smoothies? He wanted her to tell him he was a bad person? Oh, he’d regret asking that by the time Stria wasn’t even halfway done with him. “You really don’t take no for an answer, do you,” Stria said, rolling her eyes. “We can start by talking about that, you know.

“Over smoothies?”

“Of course.” Stria would let him have this small battle. His offer might as well have been a surrender in their war.

“It’s a date.”

“It is most certainly not a date,” Stria said, ending their call before he could have the last word.

Stria lay back down onto her pillow, but this time, she wasn’t mentally berating herself. Instead, she was planning out an impassioned rant, delivered like a punch directly to his extremely punchable face. Handsome, for sure, but punchable nonetheless.

She didn’t care about him, did she?

It was just one of those stupid things he said about her, of course. And when she thought he was handsome, well, that was simply an objective statement. Yes, she spent a lot of time thinking about him, but it was only to think about how much she hated him. Even now, she was still thinking about him, but it was only to plan how to best make him cry into his smoothie.

Okay, so maybe she wasn’t entirely apathetic, but she didn’t like him. She would never like him. And that would certainly never change.

—————

Part 2: smoothie date?

See if you can guess the author!

breakdown first, guesses second

"Stria buried her head in her pillow, wishing she could take back the way she’d handled quite possibly the worst social interaction of her entire life."

yeah, i don't do this. also there is no way i could have a social interaction that's worse than this one i had in the fourth grade. when i have a bad social interaction, i simply bottle it up and cringe in my own head. until the day i die. hope this helps.

"It isn’t every day you come face to face with the boy you hate the most. How is one supposed to act in that situation? Perhaps a polite smile and nod would have been appropriate if said boy hadn’t spontaneously asked, “Why do you hate me?” in a tone that implied such a cocktail of emotions, one wishes they were an Empath so they might be able to decipher them.

In face, Stria wished she was an Empath in that moment. She would have grabbed Keefe’s hand and parroted his emotions off to him, loudly. Give him a taste of his own medicine."

currently wondering where and when this happened. and i would be determined not to sink to his level, so i probably would not actually be wishing to be an empath to give him a taste of his own medicine. i'd want to flaunt my moral superiority over him. that would be way more satisfying.

"Instead, she was left guessing at the tone behind his words. It seemed like they’d bubbled over, like it was something he’d contemplated, something that bothered him, taking Stria off guard. She hadn’t realized Keefe knew she existed. Maybe if she’d been expecting the interaction, or if it made any sense at all, she would have handled it with more grace, or at least not landed herself in the situation she was in now.

Her response to his question was a rather snarky, “What, not used to girls who don’t worship the ground you walk on?” She could hardly believe the sentence had come out of her mouth. She should have just ignored him and continued to hate him from afar."

i'm terrible at contemplating tone, meaning here is where the y/n-ness officially begins. it would have to be pretty obvious for me to be able to pick up on it. so this implies some sort of school-like place. are we in the elite levels? also what situation am i in now? this is weird. i don't see a situation. and i truly don't believe that girls worship the ground keefe walks on, as i've definitely talked about before. shannon is a liar and she made that up to make keefe seem cool :) hope this helps. most girls are barely aware of keefe’s existence, and if they are, it’s because he’s friends with fitz and is a notorious prankster. and the part about me wondering how the sentence came out of my mouth is eerily accurate. i wonder that about just about everything confrontational i say.

“She expected him to bite back with another snarky remark, perhaps accompanied by his trademark smirk. It would have been on-brand for him. Maybe he would have expected a banter to start up, which Stria would have quickly shut down. But instead, he just deflated, like he was already tired. “Sounds like you’ve made up your mind about me, then.”

“Definitely,” Stria agreed. “How do you even know I hate you?”

“You told enough people.” There was a semblance of the smirk she hated, just like everything else about him. “Things get back to me, you know. I hear all the rumors. I just… I don’t know you, Stria.””

well i don't think keefe's remarks are snarky. i think they're wannabe snarky. and why is he deflated? why can't he just prank me (or try to) and leave? is this not a better option than trying to get someone who hates him to stop hating him? and keefe would literally never do this. he would not want to deal with people that hate him . . . i literally talked in my rant about how he's a very particular sort of arrogant. interesting that in this canon i'm telling people, physical people, how much i hate keefe. and i don't hate everything about him, but i'll let this slide since i am clearly supposed to be an unreliable narrator here. very interesting.

"“You don’t.”

“And you don’t know me.”

“And I don’t care to.”

“So if you don’t know me and you don’t care to know me, how can you hate me?”

“If you don’t know me and don’t care to know me, why should you care that I hate you?” Stria countered.

“Who said I didn’t care to know you?”

Stria’s jaw dropped, especially since the smooth way he’d collected himself back into his trademark personality had been almost seamless, and now he was… what, flirting with her? Was that what that version of his smirk meant? “I’m beginning to remember why I don’t interact with you.”

“You needed a reminder, huh?”

“Hardly.”

“Look, I’m just interested.” He shrugged. He didn’t seem desperate anymore, and Stria wondered if that had just been a part of his act. “How can someone who barely knows anything about me hate me so passionately?”

Goodness, he simply didn’t drop subjects, did he? “If I gave you a list of concrete reasons, would you leave me alone?”

“Sure.”"

WRONG! i know keefe very well. i know him so well that when anons try to misinterpret him in my inbox i shut that shit down quickly. especially when they misinterpret him by saying he'd be intrigued that i hate him!!!! and i can hate him because i know him and his insufferable personality so well!!!! also i would not assume that "who said i didn't care to know you?" was flirting. that's not really in character. also i don't drop my jaw. i've definitely mentioned this before but i'm very good at controlling my facial muscles in general and people think i'm emotionally repressed and detached because of this. the y/n-ness is back. also you captured keefe's annoyingness so well. good job. i also don't use the word "hardly" like this. curious to know what's going on in his head right now, though. why doesn't he seem desperate anymore? although i am not the sort of person who'd be able to tell that. wrong again! and i can hate him so passionately because i know him so well. he sucks ass, and i am very aware of all the moments in which he does toxic shit and is never villainized for it.

"Stria didn’t even know if she believed him, but she gave him the list, alright. It was a horrible decision. She should have just verbally listed a few random things he did that she just liked—perhaps his ridiculous jokes. But no, she unzipped her bag, pulled out her handwritten, ever-growing list of Reasons Keefe Sencen Is A Horrible Person, which was now up to 75 pages long, and handed it to Keefe Sencen himself.

While Keefe took a moment to figure out what he was holding, surprised to be handed a physical list, Stria turned around and briskly walked away without another word."

oooooh, we're officially breaking the fourth wall. i'm going to assume that was supposed to say "a few random things he did that she disliked", because i despise his jokes with a passion. they're incredibly cringy and immature, as well as not at all self-aware and mostly unfunny. i love the implication that i carry a physical copy of my seventy-five-page-long rant around everywhere i go. that's hysterical. the idea of keefe reading my rant about him is so funny to me. that's actually hilarious.

"And now she had her head buried in her pillow, because… why had she done that?!

Stria’s imparter buzzed, interrupting her spiral. She was being hailed by… the one person she wanted most to not be hailed by.

Sighing, she answered him for the sole purpose of greeting him with: “I thought you said if I gave you the list you’d leave me alone.”

Keefe didn’t attempt a witty response. “Are you stalking me?”

Stria blinked. “Am I what?”

“How do you know half the stuff on this list? I mean, half of it is just you being mad that I have a personality, and the other half is…” Keefe winced. “Listen. It’s not like I’ve never made a mistake. But how do you know about half this stuff? These conversations… who told you about them?”

Oh. He was asking that question. “Uh… it’s hard to explain. I kind of walked through the fourth wall to get here, so…”

“The what?”

“I’m not stalking you. I don’t care enough about you to stalk you.”"

yeah . . . i would not be beating myself up over giving keefe a copy of my rant. i would think that was very suave and cool of me lmfaooooo. very curious as to how i have entered the lost cities in this fic. i'm using an imparter, implying i'm an elf. but i also break the fourth wall somehow, implying i'm a human. so i'm a human in the lost cities? how does that affect my interactions with the world? or did i become an elf when i broke the fourth wall? and why did i decide to walk through the fourth wall at all? so many questions . . . and now. i'm not mad that keefe has a personality, i'm mad that it's annoying and cringe and unfunny and immature and generally irritating and not at all, like, fun. but i also think this is just you writing keefe as an unreliable narrator, so i'll give it a pass. curious to know whether anon has actually read my rant. "i don't care enough about you to stalk you" EXACTLY!!!! if keefe existed in the same realm as me, i simply would not care unless he existed in my sphere of awareness, in which case i would be filled up with an uncontrollable rage.

"Keefe pressed his lips together. “Okayyyy,” he said slowly, drawing out the word. “You don’t care about me… but you keep a comprehensive list of all the reasons you don’t like me.”

“Yep.”

“Kind of seems like you might be compensating for how much you do care.”

Stria shook her head vehemently. “Nope. If I liked you at all, that would be a very different essay. It might include an examination of your childhood trauma and how it made you into a manipulative person who runs from his problems.”

“I… what?”

“Go bother Katie. Please.”"

my response to that question would probably be more along the lines of "well actually it wasn't meant for you to see, and it's actually only updated until legacy. so it's not even finished." or something like that. and the rant is for the purpose of venting and trying to get people to understand that keefe isn't a perfect angel, either as a character or as the way shannon wrote him. but irrelevant. ohhhhh, the "compensating for how much you care" argument, how original. but again i'm not mad at anon, since they're making keefe say this and i already hate keefe. so. interesting that i decided to bring katie up as a counterpoint, not something i would've even realistically thought about doing. it's good to know she exists in this canon, though.

"“I don’t even want to know. Listen…” Keefe sighed. “Do you want to, you know, meet up for—”

“No.”

“—smoothies—”

“Nope.”

“—in Atlantis?”

“I said no.”

“You could tell me all about how I can be a better person so you won’t have to keep adding to this list,” Keefe offered, and this time, when a challenging spark lit up in his eye, Stria didn’t find it annoying.

Was Keefe inviting her to tear him to shreds over Elvin smoothies? He wanted her to tell him he was a bad person? Oh, he’d regret asking that by the time Stria wasn’t even halfway done with him. “You really don’t take no for an answer, do you,” Stria said, rolling her eyes. “We can start by talking about that, you know.”"

WHY THE FUCK IS KEEFE ASKING ME OUT ON A DATE???? EXCUSE ME???? did i not spend so much time explaining exactly why keefe would not give two shits about someone who hates his guts???? he would not be intrigued . . . realistically speaking i would've hung up on him the instead of saying "no" that first time, but i suppose this is still passable. and i very much would find the spark in his eye annoying, even if i was intrigued by the challenge. he's always annoying. and so on. although i would like to tear keefe to shreds . . . hm. this is so interesting. and yes, keefe does need to start taking no for an answer. send him back to seventh grade health class please.

"“Over smoothies?”

“Of course.” Stria would let him have this small battle. His offer might as well have been a surrender in their war.

“It’s a date.”

“It is most certainly not a date,” Stria said, ending their call before he could have the last word."

i'm more of a milkshake person, but i digress. i guess it makes sense that the elves have a concept of smoothies, seeing as all their food is goopy and stuff. also yes, i would totally hang up on him like that!!!! good job, anon.

"Stria lay back down onto her pillow, but this time, she wasn’t mentally berating herself. Instead, she was planning out an impassioned rant, delivered like a punch directly to his extremely punchable face. Handsome, for sure, but punchable nonetheless.

She didn’t care about him, did she?

It was just one of those stupid things he said about her, of course. And when she thought he was handsome, well, that was simply an objective statement. Yes, she spent a lot of time thinking about him, but it was only to think about how much she hated him. Even now, she was still thinking about him, but it was only to plan how to best make him cry into his smoothie.

Okay, so maybe she wasn’t entirely apathetic, but she didn’t like him. She would never like him. And that would certainly never change."

i don't need to plan out an impassioned rant. i just need to digitize the keefe rant, then find out how to use the command f feature on the imparter. the rant has everything i need. and i don't plan out conversations in advance. i just sort of go with the flow. this is not something i'd be doing. at all. keefe is unfortunately handsome, but as i've said, that makes him even more annoying, so that's hardly contradictory. i would like to see him cry into his smoothie, though . . . and i don't like the way i'm being written like an unreliable narrator here, with the convincing myself i don't care about him. i don't have to convince myself i don't care about him, because i don't. hope this helps :)

okay, now to try to guess who you are. short version: i have no idea.

long version:

i’ve only read three kotlc fanfics, one by katie, one by quil, and one by summer. so i’m not very exposed to anyone else’s styles.

(four if you count whatever the fuck this is by fin)

katie was my first suspect, but then i saw this thread, and i guess she could be lying but whatever. eliminating her. if it is her at least i can say she was my first suspect.

quil didn’t write this. neither did summer. so unfortunately this means i’ve never read anything by this person before, and wouldn't know any telltale markers and such.

(unless it is fin. there’s a non-zero chance of that, but i don’t think fin would write a proper fanfic with good grammar and spelling. so eliminating him as well.)

so i assume you are someone who’s sent me asks off anon before, and you obviously support this idiotic ship, so that narrows you down quite a bit as well. is that right?

i rank this fanfic a solid 4/10. it's strieefe, which immediately shaves off a good four points, but you got certain aspects of me correct. but you also messed up some things about me as well, so that's another two points. sorry anon :( don't worry, alayda's was probably like a -800/10. you're still the best strieefe fanfic writer around.

[multi-fandom-lunatic]

Fitz and Keefe: A Deep(ish) Dive

Sick of the toxic part of the fandom hating on Fitz and idolising Keefe.

Fitz has his flaws, sure, but saying that these flaws ruin his character, especially when he's working on these flaws, is just so devaluing. I honestly think that those Fitz hater extremists are more like Fitz than they realise.

I'm of the belief that Fitz hating started in Exile, when Fitz yelled at Sophie. I will reiterate the obvious: Fitz's dad practically DIED (actually, I'm pretty sure what happened to Alden is regarded worse than death by one of the characters), and Sophie was heavily involved in the situation. While she didn't cause the break, it was really a matter of wrong place wrong time, and Fitz lashed out, saying cruel things to Sophie. But Fitz has apologised. Multiple times, because he understands his lashing out as a mistake, which is what I find the toxic part of the fandom fail to understand. It is 1. a mistake that 2. he's trying to fix. That's more than the Keefster is doing.

Another key moment is with the whole matchmaking drama in Legacy. Sophie refuses to tell Fitz her bio mom and Fitz lashes out and Sophie breaks up with him. No denying that he was in the wrong here, but we also can't deny the nuance that comes with the situation. For one, the matchmaking system carries social consequences to those who don't abide by it. I bet money that Fitz wasn't trying to upset Sophie but rather try to help her not face the social injustices she would. Obviously, this backfires because he goes about it all wrong.

This isn't to say that Fitz didn't do anything wrong. Because that isn't what I'm saying, but rather to consider Fitz more than 'anger issues' (by the way, Fitz is not an embodiment of anger issues and it's upsetting that many use the term so carelessly), and Keefe more than 'perfect guy'. The point is that we shouldn't see things in black and white but rather shades of gray. Fitz has made mistakes, done some bad things, but this doesn't make him a monster, not in his case at least.

Then there's Keefe. Worshipped by the fandom, while his actions affect everyone around him negatively. Come on. You cannot be telling me that Fitz has anger issues and Keefe doesn't when he throws a bowl of stew because he was angry. That isn't anger issues either, by the way, but it's an example of Keefe's temper.

Also Keefe does not learn his lessons. He runs away TWICE, shatters a building but sure. Let's pretend he hasn't done wrong. And all of this is justified, both by Shannon and the toxic fandom, by his parental situation.

I'm not discrediting his mother as the leader of a terrorist organisation. But we shouldn't use this as a JUSTIFICATION but rather an EXPLANATION. To use it as a justification is to excuse his behaviour, which is unfair on those he inflicted harm to. But to use it as an explanation could help us draw conclusions on what is going on in his mind when he makes bad decisions.

Also, keep in mind that this isn't me evaluating who's better for Sophie, because honestly? None of them. I'm a massive believer of aro ace Sophie (as well as Keefitz). But this is more of a dive into their characters.

I really blame a lot of the hate toward Fitz on Shannon, because she insists on feeding in to a false notion that doesn't even make sense (Fitz literally broke in to exile in Neverseen. There is NO WAY he cares THAT much about matchmaking).

And honestly this is why I prefer books 1-3. They remind me why I loved these characters, and any book after feels like Shannon's trying to write them with her biases.

Conclusion: Fitz and Keefe are nuanced characters and their idolising/hating on either is evidence of not using critical thinking skills :P

PS: Give them both therapy.

Anyways I feel the need to ping you, @thesfromhms

[thinkatoryprocess]

So how do you see Keefe/Kelvin’s relationship in season 4? We won’t be seeing them as a brand new couple since that time skip in the finale implies months have passed (leaving plenty of room for fic to explore the beginnings) but what do you think will change about them on the show? What do you want them to do?

I think that Keefe will wind up being a lot less totally submissive in the way he has been and things will even out even a little. Not totally, he still worships the ground Kelvin walks on, but this would be more like being willing to "talk out of turn" in a way he wouldn't have before, especially with the Gemstones. Basically being willing to speak up and assert himself, especially when it comes to disagreeing on behalf of what's best for Kelvin's side of things. I think he might struggle to ingratiate himself with the family, but within a few months he'd find some groove, especially because BJ will be 100% there to help.

Kelvin meanwhile is alternately so much easier to deal with while also being insufferable because he's really very happy for the first time in his life and it's making him have ego problems. The other siblings think it's super annoying but it's also weirdly cute and they hate that they think so and tell him to shut the fuck up all the time.

Just some basic thoughts. I'm planning to save some of my thoughts for my own work.

[nysocboy]

Gemstone Connection: The Boy on the Prospect List

When I was growing up in Rock Island,  anyone who set foot inside the Nazarene Church for any reason, but didn't "get saved" and become a member, was placed on the Prospect List.

Even if they just came for Vacation Bible School, or to cheer for a friend at a Jump Quiz Tournament.

They stayed on that list forever, unless they asked to be removed or the Church Board decided to purge the list of names from many years ago.

(All models are over 18)

Every August, about a month before the fall revival, our Sunday school teacher gave each of us the contact information for 10 age- and -gender appropriate Prospects.  We were supposed to make it our business to "win them for the Lord," or at least invite them to church.

During the next month, we received 1 point for each Prospect that we prayed for, 2 points for each letter or post card, 5 points for each telephone call, and 10 points for each in-person visit, plus an extra 10 point if they actually came to church.

You might think that the Prospects would be buried in letters or harassed by constantly-ringing telephones, but in fact most people settled for prayer. It's a daunting prospect to cold-call someone you don't know, who has been to your church just once.

During the fall revival, the kid, teenager, and adult with the most points received awards, usually Bibles, while the whole congregation clapped and yelled "Amen!"

During the summer after 5th grade, the first year I was eligible, I wimped out with "prayer only."

In 6th grade,  I sent a few post cards.

In 7th grade, I tried phone calls, only to get two "wrong numbers" (which didn't count) and one "You made a mistake -- I never went to that church."

During the summer after 8th grade, I decided to go all the way with a personal visit.

I was fascinated by a name that appeared on the Prospect List every year: Francis DePew, who came to Vacation Bible School one summer, but never appeared again. He was in the same grade as me, and he lived on the Hill, but he didn't go to Washington Junior High.

That meant he went to Jordan Catholic School!

The Preacher told us all about Catholics!  When they weren't worshipping idols and being brainwashed by evil priests, they were laughing in the face of God, drinking, smoking, dancing, playing cards, going to movies.  But their favorite form of sin was the sex orgy, men cavorting with other men's wives, teenagers having sex without being married, all manner of abominations, as in the days before the Flood!

All manner of abominations?  I had to meet this Francis DePew!  Maybe I could get him to the altar, where he would cry and apologize to God, and I could wrap my arm around his waist and hug him.

The full story, with illustrations, is on Righteous Gemstones Beefcake and Boyfriends

[veggiesforpresident]

anyway heres my rant on how i would make the righteous gemstones but better

this is copy-pasted from my notes so forgive me for any typos etc

gideon comes home and introduces scotty as his friend but is kinda cagey about it, scotty jokes that gideon made him find god (similar to the dinner scene in canon) - later when they're alone, they are hushedly discussing "the plan" and they kiss. this gets interrupted by jesse who tries to have guy bonding time with them.

turns out their "plan" is for gideon to come out AND to steal from his family - gid is a baby bi in his first rship and is being manipulated by scotty

gid later has a change of heart "my family earned that money!" and they fight

this still ends w gid and jesse tied up in the vault somehow

while theyre in there their convo goes like. "dad... i'm bi." "i know son. i hate your boyfriend." "yeah i think we're gonna break up." or something

scotty still takes the money and doesnt die bc fuck the church xoxo

judy/bj are bi4bi where bj knows and judy doesnt, she hates on every woman she has a crush on (this is already canon lbr). more judy being given shit work, like overhead announcements instead of singing on stage. (judy insisting that bj has a crush on his coworker denim bc obviously denim is strong and handsome and has beautiful hands... etc. anyone can see it.) (bj hears this and looks into the camera like guillermo)

kelvin and keefe. intricate rituals. keefe climbing into bed (naked) after a nightmare. weekly "guy nights" that are SACRED BONDING and NOT TO BE INTERRUPTED but are really just movie dates. kelvin rubbing tattoo fading lotion on allll of keefes tattoos (it doesnt even work!). idk like. "satan body checking" like vigorously inspecting each part of the others body for secret satanic influence (they just want to see each other naked). i need more kelvin lowkey obsessed w keefe, saying hes his "best friend" all the time and wanting to include him in everything. kelvin does keefes hair.

OH another thing w kelvin is he still has that "come to youth group!" plot but when he's talking to the girl about like "there's a man who will always be there for you..." and the girl is like leaning in thinking hes flirting with her, only to be disappointed when he says "God!"

later on she does decide to go in order to get her phone back.

when kelvin is relaying this to keefe (while keefe is washing kelvins feet or smthn) keefe is like "maybe she needs a buddy. worship is easier when you have a person to do it with." or smthn. cut to kelvin giving the girl a worship buddy (a bored goth teenager who immediately asks if she wants to smoke weed in the bathroom. she does and they smoke out of bible pages.)

[utilitycaster]

I find it interesting that people see Ashton and Laudna and are like "They must be in pain all the time and are suffering" because Ashton and Laudna have the physical scars of their suffering. They are sympathetic to them. But they do not afford the same sympathy to Imogen, who is also suffering. It's not visible with her, so therefore, even though she has to actively repress other peoples thoughts and doesn't really get much sleep, she be fine Fine and therefore is OK. When she is very much Not Fine and Not Ok, just practiced at having to deal with it every damn day (at least, that's how I have interpreted Laura's RP. Please correct me if I am wrong).

I think you are correct about Laura's RP - it's quite obvious that Imogen struggles a lot with her powers. While I haven't seen it as much lately, there was also a lot of focus early on about Ashton, with a lot of headcanons regarding disability that I haven't seen as much lately - possibly because there's been nothing confirmed in canon - and it's true that the character design probably contributed to that.

Here's the thing though: early on? People loved focusing on poor Imogen and her headaches and how tiring it is for her to be around people and oh won't Laudna kiss it better...until Imogen got mad at Laudna. (And, to a lesser extent, when Imogen got mad at FCG, because that set off an alarm that Imogen was going to be played as a person with feelings and thoughts who might deviate from the set plan they had in their head for her).

I think a lot of people have decided who their favorite character is, and they pick that for all kinds of reasons. The problem is many of those people then say "my favorite character is correct, all the time, and here's the character who should be their romantic partner, and whether or not I have any scrap of sympathy for other characters is entirely conditional on whether they are worshiping the ground on which my favorite character walks and only serving my favorite character's story." Design doesn't enter into it. Backstory gets thrown out the window. In the end, that is their only motivator.

I realize how incredibly cynical this sounds but I have, on some level, done the math. I've spent all day saying "ok, so you're saying a warlock who has undergone severe trauma may have made made a pact under circumstances in which they could not freely give consent, and they have complicated feelings about this, and you are citing that as your reasoning for why they are the most sympathetic person here. Cool. So where's your meta about how hard things were for Fjord?" And notably, no one has taken me up on it, because they don't have it, because the facts don't matter. And it's not limited to that; I've been using Fjord as an example both because he often got a very raw deal from the fandom and because of the very obvious warlock parallels, but like, people were mad that time was spent on Keyleth's Aramente (because they didn't like Keyleth), or that the Mighty Nein didn't drop everything to take Caleb to Duasad Keef (a person only revealed at the time in the Explorer's Guide to Wildemount).

If it the reason were that Imogen doesn't have physical markers of her pain (which...in and of itself is not a great way to be given the sheer number of not-readily-apparent mental and chronic illnesses that do not have clear visible indicators), then you'd think the response to Imogen, you know, literally waking up gasping and crying from nightmares would serve the same purpose as a physical scar, and that would be taken into account. But it's not. Because it's not about who's experienced pain or trauma, visible or no. It's barely connected to what's happening onscreen after the first few episodes when they imprint on this character like a baby chick who sends dumb anon messages. It's "she is disagreeing with Laudna and pulling focus from Laudna and therefore she is bad."

Here is the thing in the end: the post I made that kicked this all off ended with a follows: "these [Imogen and Laudna] are two fully realized people with feelings and priorities of their own." And people found that inherently invalidating, because they are threatened by the idea that Imogen is a fully realized character with feelings and priorities of her own, because then she can be a fully realized character with priorities separate from Laudna's. She can be a character with feelings that are not positive towards Laudna. She can be a character who gets angry at Laudna. And they hate that, and it's that simple.

[squishmallow36]

Kotlc crew + MtG colors I think they'd play because why not?

Quick color guide: White - order, blue - illusion water etc, black - necromancy (power), red - fire, green - nature

Sophie: Can pretty much play any color but red is a definite staple. Red is a very fun color to play and also he's an arsonist now. White - trying to fix the whole freaking world, blue - a fairly major planeswalker is blue and haas telepathy, black - he has five abilities that's a lotta power, green - h o r s e

Biana: Blue/white/red (pick 2) illusion decks where the other player can't do anything. Lots of flying creatures. And enchantments that prevent creatures from being able to attack, usually a blue or white one but occasionally fun red cards like Act of Treason (attack a player with their own creature) are nice. I've got a commander deck I think ae would really enjoy.

Fitz: White/blue like Bi but I have this mono white deck I think he'd like because it always wins. Because he's always gotta win. The white is because he's daddy's golden boy and that just makes sense to me because alden worships the council and blue is the same reason as sophie blue.

Dex: Blue/red artifact decks. Would go colorless / rainbow but those cards are /weak/ so Izzet it is. Blue is usually more of an artifact-y color, but Izzet (which is the name for blue/red in ravnica it's a long story) is known for its artifacts. I have this commander deck with saheeli I think would be perfect. Just once it's down to 60 cards.

Keefe: Red/green. There is nothing more fun than trampling your enemies into the dirt. They're also typically very fast colors, which makes them some of the easier to learn if you just want to get playing. One of my very first decks was Gruul although i took out the green and replaced it with black.

Tam: would play black just for the sheer aesthetic. Might also play black/blue. I have a nice dimir rogue deck Tam might like, in addition to my first mono black. Also my second mono black I don't like as much. A black/green golgari might be interesting too.

Linh: I think we all know I'm going to say blue but also blue is mean sometimes so that can get tempered with white or green. Might even play selesnya (white/green) once in a while. Blue isn't super watery so fae can change this up fairly easily without being canon being too mad.

Marella: is this even a question? Red. Mono red. Dragon decks are just so fun. Direct damage? Yes. Breaking point (gets rid of all creatures unless a player takes like 6 damage)? Perfect.

[bookwyrminspiration]

(hi for the first time in way too long, writer god!! sending you lots of good vibes) kotlc cast as dog breeds?

hello to you too!! I haven't interacted with you in a very long while, so it's wonderful to see you again. As always, the writer god title is very flattering, so thank you for that...writer...worshiper? Disciple? Follower? If I'm a god what does that make you? I think you are also worthy of the god title for some of your fics, I must admit.

also I know so little about dogs and even less about their breeds, so instead I will offer you pictures of dogs I find on the internet that remind me of the characters. And also explain my choices because of course I have to.

because there's a lot of pictures i'll put it under a cut to save everyone's dashboards! enjoy the dog pics!

Sophie:

Something about this dog just feels homey. Beagles feel like a family dog, and because Sophie is so motivated by her friends and family, it feels like it fits her. It looks cuddly, and so is Sophie!

Fitz:

Okay so German Shepards have a kind of reputation as smart, good dogs. They're good at things and have a desire to please, which seems similar to Fitz's own reputation. Capable, praised, well-known, etc. They also both look nice.

Dex:

I've heard that pit bulls have a bad reputation and many people have bad opinions of them, which is perfect for Dex. Until they get to know him, a lot of people have negative assumptions before seeing how sweet they are. Additionally, the coloring is kinda similar to Dex's hair, which is nice! Very lovable.

Keefe:

I have no clue what breed this is, but maybe something leopard? Either way, it stands out for it's fur color, which seems reminiscent of The Hair. It's got a striking appearance and ice blue eyes like Keefe's, so it seemed only fitting to match the two. You know it's fitting that this is the only breed I don't know and Keefe's is the only ability we don't know and is a mesh of other things.

Linh:

Apparently Golden Retrievers are very friendly and open, reminiscent of Linh's sweet, approachable personality. They look very warm and cuddly, but also serene and go-with-the-flow, all aspects that remind me of Linh. The beach in the background doesn't hurt either. They're also like a family dog, so some of Sophie's reasoning applies here as well.

Tam:

Wolfdog! Yes it's black and that's Tam's color, but also the kinda...not entirely dog vibe you get from it is perfect. It's like a dog but also a lot more dangerous feeling, similar to how Tam is technically a part of elven society and interacts but also doesn't feel like he'll ever fully integrate. He's always going to be other and to stand out, more menacing and critical than everyone else. He always carries his time banished and his twin status as a banner, a sort of grim pride.

Biana:

Something about this picture in particular feels very Biana. It's regal, graceful, aesthetic. Her as a husky feels right, the positive, fun reputation and the comments they get for their beauty. Sophisticated and poised. They've got this allure to them that reminds me of her!

Marella:

Marella gets to be the small shitzu! Something about how they have such potential to look so disheveled feels right given how Marella is frequently described as looking the same. They're fun and cute, but also feel a little sneaky. They're small and can get places, similar to how Marella can know things and find things out in ways others don't understand.

Stina:

I feel like this one needs very little explanation. Stina as a poodle is like...so pompous. Not only the similarities in the poofy hair, but poodles have this reputation (especially in cartoons I think?) of being owned by rich people and being in dog shows, being superior to others, etc. Those fit Stina pretty well, the snobby attitude and the reputation alongside how regal they are, if that makes sense.

Maruca:

Okay I'm not entirely sure why this feels right but it does. They're apparently intelligent and energetic, which I think mimics her attitude towards joining the fight. She knows her uses and is eager to make her contributions. However...I specifically chose a younger looking dog because Maruca is newer to the battle. She's eager but makes mistakes and hasn't really learned what she's doing yet. Once she does she'll be very useful, but for now she might need a little guidance.

So there you have it! Apparently I do know enough about dog breeds to assign one to each character and give some reasoning, and as a bonus you get a bunch of dog pictures!! This was a very fun approach to the characters, and I'm sure there are many dog people on this hellsite, so that's fun for all of them!!

thank you for the inspiration!!

[even-if-in-another-time]

i have absolutely no idea why i decided to do this at 1 am while vibing to spotify but you know what here we are

Kotlc characters as random things my family/friends have done

Sophie:

“you know what? I think the world should worship horses. Like, imagine the egyptians worshipping cats. But instead it’s the whole world. Worshipping horses. *drives through an intersection* OH GOD THAT WAS A RED LIGHT”

Also Sophie: “yes, I’ve been to the ER more times in my life than literally everyone I know combined, and every time I think about that I both want to facepalm and be proud of myself...” (yep definitely not me. Of course not. Ahaha. Ha...)

Keefe:

{Sophie} “Oh my- that’s so good! How do you draw like that without even a reference??”

{Keefe} “EXCUSE ME? HAVE YOU SEEN THE THUMB ON THE LEFT HAND? IT LOOKS SO BAD! THIS WHILE THING IS AWFUL AGGGHHHHH”

{Sophie} “...”

Dex: “YEAH, WELL, MY DINO ARMS PACK A PUNCH” (yep no context needed)

Also Dex:

*after accidentally biting his cheek* Why did we evolve for thousands of freaking years just to BITE OUR OWN CHEEKS. WHY DO WE EVEN EXIST. WHAT IS LIFE

Fitz: “I truly am the smartest and most talented person here. I would beat everyone here in the hunger games. Actually, at anything. Is that a challenge, wall? You’re going DOWN *kicks the wall that has supposedly challenged him* OW, SH-“

Biana: *everyone sees an enormous spider and are screaming, she casually walks past everyone, slips off a high heel, and kills the spider. Then feels bad for it multiple hours later*

Marella: “you know what? I think some people are like slinkies. They don’t really have a purpose, but it’s entertaining to watch them fall down stairs.”

{Linh} Ella are you okay

(and yes linh is the only one that can get away with calling her Ella because they’re dating wether or not Shannon is too cowardly to admit it. I have opinions okay keep scrolling)

Stina: “You’re trying to be smarter than me! QUIT BEING SMARTER THAN ME! SHUT UP NO I DIED-“

Tam: “You know what? No. I’m not going to go vegan because I want to save animals, I’m going to go vegan out of spite for plants.”

Sandor: “ignore me at your peril, insolent child” *sophie slips on stairs* “oh- are you okay??” *jumps up to help*

Extra one:

Iggy: “look, I ate new york. I’m sorry. IT HAD TO GO OKAY”

[great-irken-invader]

Invader Zim: JPopIdolAU Chap2

Chapter 2: Alien in the Library

Summary: Dib followed Zim and Keef to the library. Zim did some sus alien stuff. 

The bell rang, signaling the end of class. Dib bolted up from his seat and attempted to push through the crowd towards Zim. Though it seemed like Zim was preoccupied with a greater threat than Dib. 

Keef shook with unbridled joy. His nostrils flaring as he giddly dances on his tippy-toes. “ I can’t believe it.” Keef fans himself with both hands “you are the actual Zim. The…ZIm!”  biting the bottom of his lip in excitement while gazing at Zim. Zim begins to look from the side, hoping someone would help him out of this situation.

Zita shoved Keef’s face away and stepped in front of Zim. “Seriously Keef. You need to chill. You’re acting like a creep” she shakes her hand like it she was trying to air dry it

“Hey I’m not a creep” he stamped his feet 

“I’m Zita.” She bruises an out-of-placed hair back into place “and I actually know how to be cool” she grabs Zim by the arm and pulls him towards the door. “We should get going you don't want to get on Miss Bitters bad side” 

Dibs watches in horror as Zita leads Zim outside his class

“Thank you.” Zim softly smiled “Zim was surprised to find that so many people know of me here. I have been to several American schools but not many have recognized the great Zim.” he puts a hand in while restraining himself from throwing Zita off of him

“Well that's the price you have to pay if you want fame” she threw her head back in laughter while dreamly looking at Zim 

“Yes. “ He looks over his shoulder “I do enjoy being worshiped by my fans. But..Keef…was..”

“Oh I get it. Keef has a weird look in his eyes whenever he talks about you. He is pretty crazy about you guys.”she comforts Zim

“However,  Zim’s plan need to be altered” he mumbles to himself

They entered Miss Bitters with Dib trailing behind them. Dib chose the seat behind Zim in order to keep an eye on him and scowled  at the back of Zim’s head the entire class. 

✨👾✨

The bell rang and the students walked towards the criteria. ZIm was chatting with Zita when Keef came bouncing towards them “Hey! Zim! Wanna eat lunch together” 

Zita rolls her eyes and puts an arm between Zim and Keef “Buzz off Keef. Zim is gonna eat with us” She points behind her to her friends sitting on a table, happy in their own little world. 

Zim gently pushes down Zita’s arm and smiles at her softly “Its alright friend Zita there is something I would like to discuss with Keef”  

“Are you sure?” She raises an eyebrow. Zim squeezes her hand in affirmation and gives a little nod “Come on Keef, let's go eat somewhere else.” Zim turns towards Keef and puts his arm around Keef's shoulder. Looking back at Zita “I’ll make it up to you tomorrow.” he casually waves goodbye, while Keef buzzes in joy. 

“Yeah.” She shrugs her shoulder “See ya later” she squints  skeptically at Keef as they walk away

✨👾✨

A food tray slams onto the table “Seriously Gaz can you believe it!” crouching over and stabbing his salisbury steak. “They’re all falling for that idol act crap.” air quoting the idol part. “It is painfully obvious. I know he is planning something!” twisting his fork in anger “And I have to stop him.”

Gaz continued to blast zombies away on her Gam Slave 5 “Like the nefarious werewolf sicence teacher?” scrutinizing her brother 

He straightened his back and raised his fork in the air “He was unnaturally hairy and howled at the moon…!” 

“Whatever.” She sighs “Just don't blow up the school like last time” she picks up her fork and crushes it in her hand “I don't want to be stuck being homeschooled and see your gross face more than I have to”

Dib nods his head “Yeah..I don't wanna be stuck with you either” he continued to pick at his food until he noticed out of the corner of his eye Zim and Keef leaving the cafteria. 

“What is Zim planning…” he squints  his eyes  “and why would he need Keef?” he jumps out of his seat and rushes off “Bye Gaz! I’m off to save the world”

Gaz just plays her game slave 5 as Dibs rushes off with his suitcase in hand. Dib followed as closely as he could, ducking behind the garbage cans and hiding behind the lockers each time Zim checked for people. Zim led Keef to the libarbay and made sure to take him into the most secluded corner. Zim did one more scan of the area to make sure he was alone with Keef. Dib managed to hide behind a bookshelf, pulling a book out of the way to make sure he had a clear view. 

Zim standing in front of Keef and with a coy grin “Keef..was it…” He pushes Keef into the corner, his hand on Keef’s chest “Yes. I am keef and I am a hu-uge…” Keef's heart is pounding like mad as thoughts fill his mind, but there is this uneasy feeling that is telling him to run nibbling in the back of his mind. Keef leans against the corner and slides down, making Zim stand a head taller than Keef “Yes. Yes. Huge fan. That pleases Zim.” he uses a claw to tilt Keef’s head up. Keef's face reddens like a tomato. “You've been to Zim’s concert. You were there, listening to Zim’s great song in person, live?” Keef is a bit confused by Zims question but happily answers, even though that voice in the back of his head is screaming. “Yes. It was the most amazing thing in my life” Zim cups Keef face with both his hands “Good…” Zim brings Keef’s head closer and tilts his head and whispers something into his ear. 

From the angle Dib was watching from, it looked like Zim was doing something less innocent than whispering into Keef’s ear. Dib ears turned red as a blush ran across his face. His mind races as he thinks of all plausible reasons an alien would be kissing Keef. Is Zim trying to eat his brains, depositing his eggs into Keef, or maybe it's some kind of mind control. 

ZIm watches in glee as Keef's eyes roll back. His eyes roll back into place, but there is something off. It is very subtle but Keef irises are distorted giving them look like a very round star. 

Zim pulls away from Keef and observes him with an evil smirk “Good. You will serve Zim well”

“Yes…Zim…” Zim grabbed Keef's chin, putting a thumb of one check and his pointer finger on the other. He moved Keef’s face side to side making sure he was completely under his control.  Zim started to speak “I need you too…” but halfway through he stopped speaking and only mouthed his words, or at least it looked like he only mouthed them. 

“Now leave Zim. Oh and…” again he stopped speaking and only mouthed something. Dib looked confused and tried to clean his ear out thinking maybe something was obstructing his hearing. Keef heads towards the exit, temporarily blocking Dibs line of sight. When his line of sight was cleared Dib saw Zim halfway up climbing the wall with his PAK legs. Dib rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't seeing things. Zim used his PAK legs to pry the ceiling open and disappear into it. “He is an alien!” he happily exclaims to himself. He took out his phone and opened a recording app. “New Log, log 001-Z, my first log of an Alien known as Zim.” 

✨👾✨

After he completed his log Dib looked around for Zim but didn’t see him until their shared Math class.

Zim and Zita were making a Glam Short for FastGlam and frowned when they noticed Dib stomping towards them in the background.

 “Hey! Zim!” Zim ignores Dib and continues to make his short. Dib, enraged by being ignored, rushes at Zim like a bull at a matador. As he reaches out for Zim the door is swung open and Dib's face is squashed by the window in the door. Zim and Zita laughed furiously. 

“Oh my god. Did you get that” Zita shaking Zim by his shoulders.”Yes! I recorded Dib's epic fail in high definition.” Zim cackles. Dibs rubs his face and was about to say something until the math teacher interrupted. “Put away your phone and get into class unless you want to be marked tardy and Dib. Watch where you are going” All Dib could do was scowl at Zim. Zim gave a smug smile as he entered the class and with a sugary voice “I apologize. Zim was not aware of skool’s phone rules.” Dib could only bite his tongue as Zim took his seat in class. 

Dib kept an eye on Zim whenever he could, however it was difficult to get near Zim because he was always guarded by Zita or one of Zita’s followers. It wasn't until after school that Dib saw Zim slip away from his lackeys and hide behind a large oak tree in the school’s front yard.Dib thought it was finally his chance to confront Zim and get solid evidence that Zim was an alien. 

So what your big evil plan alien

Zim was infuriated by the annoying and lesser Dib. Zim was used to paranormal nut-jobs that thought he was an alien. But they usually stalked him from a distance and gathered evidence. Which gave Zim the time to develop a plan with his agency to silence anyone that would hurt their profits. He took a deep breath and calmed himself. The stinky dirt-monkey had no evidence, just follow the script and the dirt-monkey will start to doubt himself, and then he would be out of his  hair. Zim entered his idol persona and perfectly faked his blinding smile that made many fall to their knees. 

“Zim is not an alien. I am a normal adolescent earthworm. This is my…gimmick.” rubbing the back of his head “Though I suppose i should be flattered if you thought I was really…an alien” 

Dib secretly takes out his phone, hoping Zim might let something slip.“Oh yeah, why are you green?”

 “It's a skin condition.” he nervously replies  

 “Oh yeah what with that thing on your back” he accusingly points to Zim’s PAK

“My backpack?” Zim looks at Dib, looking genuinely confused 

“Backpacks are not metal and they don't make those noises” as an act of rebellion against Zim, the PAK makes a disturbing mechanical sound. Zim could fill his face heat up. 

Zim tossed his hands in the air “Fines…” he sighs and looks down at the earth, he paints on a bitter face, rubs his arm. 

“You caught Zim…I will tell you my secret but please do not tell anyone. Zim wants to continue being an idol” Dib looks excited.  

“Zim..you can say…is ill. My liver was damaged at a young age so it has difficulties. PAK was made to help lessen the burden. And the green skin is a side effect of the medication used to keep my PAK functioning.” 

Dib looks guilty “wow…i had…no idea…” Zim’s acting was very convincing  and Dib probably would have believed him if he had not seen Zim use his PAK legs earlier in the library.

 “Your lies could have worked, Zim. But I watched you use your alien spider legs in the library! So I know that your little illness is complete bs!” Dib tackles him to the ground with a crazed smile and pins Zim down.  “You are an alien and I am gonna prove it!” Dib tries to rip the PAL off of Zim. Zim grabs Dibs arms and holds them away from his PAK, with a panicked expression Zim thinks of the best course of action. He wants to use his superior alien strength to send Dib flying into the tree but  people will question why and how he can be so freakishly strong. Zim spots something from the corner of his eye and relaxes, and gives Dib a quick smirk.

Dib was weird out by Zim’s smirk and wonders why the alien has instore for him. He then feels a firm hand squeezes his shoulder before he is yanked away from Zim and flies through the air landing face down. 

“Zim, are you ok?” His deep and worried voice soothed Zim. “Yes, Zim is ok. Just dirty.” Zim looks down with a grossed out face and pulls his hoodie out to show all the dirt. 

He inspects Zim as helps Zim up from the ground “Is he another crazed fan? Should we call the police or should we call Ken?” Dib finally lifts his head from the ground to see Zim dust himself off. 

“Pfft..Mamour. “He puts a hand on his shoulder “Lets just leave first. Zim is tired from having to deal with the Dib-Stink all day.” Mamoura nods his head and gives Dib a death glare. “There won't be a next time when I see you.” Mamoura protectively escrost Zim to his motorcycle parked nearby. He hopes on and gives ZIm his pink helmet before putting on his green one helmet on. As Zim clips the helmet into place he sticks his long tongue out and pulls eyes down.

“Log 002-Z, subject Zim, has a very long tongue. He may use it to eat the brains out of humans” Dib makes a quick log as he watches his bus leave without him. “Guess I’m walking home” a drop of water falls from the sky and slides off on his cowlick before it begins to pour down.

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

[garbussy]

fall apart

i did a thing. 

fall apart - kotlc angst

as you can tell i worship caprise redek and i used some of my hcs for della, livvy, edaline, and caprise so,,, enjoy lol

also my first 1k thing so :DDD 

also, if this gets enough notes then. i’ll write a new one because i liked doing this a lot

@bianavacker-is-bi-as-hell 

keefe was fractures.

keefe was broken.

keefe was glass, waiting to be shattered.

keefe had no big part to play.

it was all just,

a fairy tale.

it was all just

a made up story.

keefe fell apart twice a day now.

shattering like glass.

he had pushed everyone away now.

it was all coming back,

the shouts,

the screams

the crashing dreams.

no one thought he would ever amount to anything.

he saw it in their looks,

their feelings.

when crashing down,

a story is broken.

dreams are shattered.

like

glass.

————

tam was shadow.

not light.

he had found that out when a child scorned him and his sister.

just for being themselves.

linh was his tether,

she was his sun.

he clung to her in the darkness,

while wondering what he had become.

was he a monster?

one like those in fairy tales.

a dragon?

like the fearsome beasts that were torn apart by the prince.

no,

he was shadow.

shadow at its purest form

he was darkness.

the kind that would be burned in the olden times.

he was,

tam.

————

dex was forgotten.

like the vines on his safe place,

crawling up the walls.

eventually hacked down,

to let the princess through.

forgotten,

like a second in time.

forgotten,

like his friendship with sophie.

forgotten,

like the few rainy days that made sure the sunflowers grew.

forgotten,

like his happiness.

forgotten,

like the chemistry he used.

forgotten,

like the fact that exilium was supposed to be a place where you could learn,

and be happy.

that was it.

dex didn’t know how to be happy anymore.

————

fitz was a cursed prince.

glorified over all, because of the color of his eyes.

no one would ever know what his father would do to him.

no one would know the pressure to be perfect.

waving to the cameras,

smiling, but nobody would know it was fake.

that’s how it was supposed to be.

when he made a misstep, he would be punished.

it was a dance

a dangerous dance,

he had learned that to please everyone,

you would have to keep your head up

flash a grin,

maybe two or three,

and of course, be the perfect one you need to be.

head up,

flash a grin,

perfect hair, perfect eyes,

perfect soul,

perfect smile,

perfect in every way

a perfect piece of china that you wouldn’t dare to break.

————

biana was beautiful.

she was a reminder of things nobody could have.

biana was brave, as she was strong.

but nobody would want that in a beautiful girl.

so she’d learn how to be gentle.

while the boys would play bramble, she’d be looking out the window,

wishing for things she’d never have.

she’d be framed as an item.

to be bought or sold.

she’d wear the perfect dresses,

pink and purple, not blue.

she’d wear the makeup,

because that’s how the world ran.

no one would ever take her

seriously.

no one would ever see her as a person.

just a prop, maybe a favorite necklace.

no opinions to be told, just a toy.

biana wanted to be free.

biana wanted to be herself,

but biana...

wanted sophie.

————

linh was the epitome of kindness.

at least on the outside.

linh was warm, and bubbly.

at least on the outside.

linh was quiet and soft.

at least on the outside.

linh didn’t know how to be,

someone strong.

someone bold.

someone brave.

so,

linh was a shield.

at least on the outside.

linh was in love.

at least on the outside.

linh loved the world.

at least on the outside.

linh was a happy, lovely, friend.

to be forgotten in the end.

————

sophie was the moonlark.

strong, brave, and kind.

willing to walk through the fires,

just to see villains resign.

sophie wanted to let it out.

to scream, to cry.

sophie hid her feelings behind blushes,

and smirks.

but she wanted what she couldn’t have,

she wanted the freedom.

she wanted the happiness.

she wanted a day where she didn’t have to pretend.

not a day full of gowns.

not a day full of matches.

not a day full of worry, and stress.

sophie wanted to leave the label,

“moonlark”

but first she needed to have a day full of freedom.

just to see what it was like,

to be happy,

without any consequences.

————

marella was fire,

as ever-burning as the sun.

she was bold.

but she needed water, to find the beauty in life.

she needed love.

she needed greatness.

she wanted to show herself,

to stop hiding.

she wanted to dance with linh.

she wanted to have water to her fire,

to have someone to laugh with.

she wanted,

a friend.

but alas,

the world wouldn’t meet her demands.

she’d be alone,

her greatest fear.

she’d be forsaken.

invisible.

————

della vacker was fearless.

or, she was supposed to be.

really, on the inside, she just wanted to protect people.

she wanted to fight the gender roles, the prejudices, all of it.

she wanted to bring the life back to the lost cities.

della vacker was strong.

————

edaline ruewen knew how to find the joys in life.

she had gone through a daughter dying,

at the hands of her fiance.

a daughter disappearing,

and thought to be dead.

edaline ruewen rode dinosaurs for fun.

edaline ruewen was happy.

edaline ruewen learned how to be,

herself.

————

livvy sonden was a force of nature.

she knew how to help someone.

she was a beautiful woman,

on the inside especially.

they say she was magical.

a fairy sent from ancient lands,

one that would save them all.

and she was determined to save them all.

————

caprise redek was a bold woman.

who would dare to do anything.

she had climbed the mountain of depression, and got through alive.

she,

the queen.

the one who had the information.

the one who had an endless amount of emotions.

the one who overcame.

the one who loved, and hated.

she.

————

fall apart - © All Rights Reserved

[floofsnoot]

Don't mind me I just have a lot of dumb Invader Zim related asmr ideas.

Curling up with Dib and multiple boxes of pizza to watch Saw on Halloween night asmr

Tallest Purple passive aggressively feeds you FunDip while angrily mumbling about really dumb Invaders asmr

The tallests are trying to bring you back to reality while you're having a mental breakdown asmr

Zim's skin sizzling like bacon (or my coffee machine) asmr

Listening to Tak vent her problems on a Sunday morning asmr

Professor Membrane worshipping toast asmr

Falling asleep while watching Gaz playing videogames via Twitch asmr

Gir eating a whole sack of cheetos asmr

Tallest Miyuki picking you up and elegantly calling you short n stupid asmr

Zim aggressively drilling into your head that he loves you asmr

Watching the movie Spaceballs with Dib asmr

Feeding Tallest Purple doughnuts and he's verbally being grateful asmr

Tallest Red letting you rest on him as he tells you about his day and plays with your hair asmr

Pilot Dib burning down a hospital asmr

Sitting down with Dib during a rainy day to listen to a bunch of Lemon Demon records asmr

Gir accidentally sets himself on fire and has the screams of the damned within him asmr

Laying down next to Gaz listening to the buttons clicking on her GameSlave 2 asmr

Killing god with Keef asmr

Trying to figure out if Mimi purrs asmr

Dancing in the rain with Gretchen asmr

Listening to MCR with Tak asmr

[tygertyger137]

SISTERS GRIMM AND KOTLC???

Puck and Keefe would totally end up giving Sabrina permanently green hair

Daphne tries to steal Iggy

Dex nerds out over the fact that they have a barrier without any psionipaths and Needs To Know Their Secret Now

Sabrina and Sophie would bond over having obnoxious boyfriends that take pranks way too seriously

Amy and Daphne would totally out-prank the boys when they least expected it

Granny Relda would make the gnomes teach her how to make Elvin food

Mr. Canis and Bronte would be best friends. this is not up for debate

i can totally see Linh, Marella, and Red becoming the trio we always needed

Grady and Edaline would have a hayday with all of the crazy animals, especially talking ones

Fitz would probably get cursed at least once

mayor charming and the councillors would have an ‘I’m rich and better than you party’ and it would just be all of them crying drunk on the floor about why kids cause so...much...trouble

flight contests between Puck and levitating elves. going smooth until Biana mentions Fitz and the chandelier. Puck never lets him hear the rest of it

Sophie tells the entire room that Puck thinks Sabrina is cute when she’s mad. embarrassment ensues

Puck finally coaxes the Great Gulon Incident out of Keefe and worships the ground he walks on for it

Forkle and Granny Relda sit on lawn chairs while sipping sweet tea and watch the kids murder each other in the messiest game of tackle bramble the world ever saw

please add!!