#i am. not a dog person.
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Hey now, Let her cook!
#dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims#senshi#laios touden#marcille donato#izutsumi#oyasumi punpun#<- In case you are wondering what the source for the little bird guy is.#Yeah that's right. I'm back to my extremely obscure crossover BS.#Punpun is one of those series that falls under the category of 'Good! but I cannot responsibly recommend this to anyone."#If Dungeon Meshi is like a friend asking you to go on a quick errand and you accidently go on a life changing roadtrip -#Punpun is your friend asking to go on a quick errand and they pull up to the vet and tell you your dog is being put down.#Then they explode into sludge. Melting your car. You hitchhike back but the person who picked you up is an axe murderer.#I could not finish it. My friends who did say it was good. But agree it was for the best I did not finish it.#Hey speaking of tone twists...We are one episode away from one of my favourite chapters being animated!#WHO'S READY FOR THE SENSHI BACKSTORY! WHO IS READY TO CRY!#ME! I AM! I spooked my flatmate with how energetic I was this morning. I'm vibrating with energy I was not designed to contain.#I should talk about today's episode here: It was very good. I love how they animated the familiars.#And!!! Anime only people now are in the loop on the Chilchuck lore. Part 1 of many. He still contains multitudes.#They all do to be honest! If this episode told us anything it was that we still don't know these characters as well as we think!#See you guys next week. I'll be inconsolable.
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Everyone. Do you realize what this boy is begging for? Do you even fathom the weight of what he just asked?
This is the same boy who declared the lengths he'd go to in order to live wholeheartedly.
And now he's begging to die. Just to save his friends. The only people he can call family. Without even an ounce of hesitation.
The devastation in his eyes. The desperation in his voice. I can't take it anymore-
#I am unwell#fuck#FYODOR IF YOU DON'T GET DEFEATED IN THE MOST GRUESOME WAY POSSIBLE#IMMA HAVE A PERSONAL WORD WITH ASAGIRI#OMG#bsd#atsushi nakajima#fyodor dostoevsky#bsd atsushi#bsd fyodor#bsd 119#bsd manga spoilers#bsd spoilers#bsd manga#bungou stray dogs#bsd chapter 119#J's post
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pins by dannybrito
#dannybrito#transparent by me#etsy#pins#buttons#i am not okay#i'm a silly goose#i'm a dog person#feeling fruity#i'm a homebody#nothing matters#i'm a cat person#bee aggressive#trinket person#bunny#goose#dog#strawberry#home#mice#cat#bee#trinkets#objects#fashion#fashion pngs#object pngs#transparent pngs#pngs
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do you think the national dog show announcers ever explored each other's bodies
#personal#sbs rambles#thanksgiving#dog show#happy thanksgiving everyone#I am roasting a turkey as we speak#also I just like the announcers' voices okay#they seem nice. they have good chemistry#I wonder if they hang out
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[Around 7 pm, Vizerxa gently wakes Ranpo by petting his hair. She's holding a couple thick coats, gloves, boots, and a scarf, all in ranpo's size. She doesn't know how well he can tolerate the cold and doesn't want him to be uncomfortable in Salha.]
"It's almost time for us to go. 're you ready?"
( - @the-fox-and-the-shadow ) (sending this 5 hours early so i dont forget about it entirely lmao)
mmm…. yeaaaahh……
#( its okay i am not a patient person#& i cant be online much later lol 😭 )#rnp.txt#bsd rp#bsd rp blog#bungo stray dogs rp#bungou stray dogs roleplay#ask#the-fox-and-the-shadow
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wolfpack. aka: if not friend, then why friend-shaped?
"Hey-- uh, Danny?" There's an almost imperceptible tremor in Tucker's voice.
Danny doesn't look up from what he's doing, his pencil scritching across his notebook as he tries to do another quadratic formula question. "Hm."
"What's -- uh -- what's with the dogs?"
He looks up now, and finally sees where Tucker is -- standing in the doorway of his room with an ashy look on his face and a skewed, nervous smile. He's got a white knuckle grip on the doorknob. Sam is wide-eyed behind him, and using him as a partial meat-shield.
Danny looks down to the two giant ghost wolves sprawled next to him lazily. One large green one with his head in Danny's lap, letting him use him as a prop-up for his notebook. Another equally large black one splayed against his hip, sleeping on her side with her head tilted inward to his calf.
Automatically, a grin tilts across Danny's face, and he lifts his notebook up to scratch behind the green one's ears. He opens a lazy eye, one that is bloody red with a ring of yellow around the pupil, before slipping it shut and leaning his head into Danny's touch. "This is Sirius and Procyon," he says, and reaches down to scratch Sirius' belly. "And they're not dogs, they're wolves."
"Great," Tucker says, his voice suddenly much smaller and faint, "Love that distinction."
Sirius makes a great big groan, and Danny's grin widens, his heart swelling with fondness. His hand slips away from her belly, and before he can put his notebook back down, Procyon pushes his head up his lap until his ear is against his stomach, demanding pets now too.
Sam peeks her head up from over Tucker's shoulder, "I think what Tucker's asking here is what are they doing here, Danny."
He shrugs, scratching under Procyon's chin. "They kinda just showed up. I tried sending them back to the Zone, but they keep returning." And they were weirdly intent on just following him around, which is the only reason he gave up on returning them. They weren't causing trouble, and they knew how to hide around the living. Plus, he just loves dogs. "So now I have two wolves living with me."
This, oddly enough, did not do anything to calm Sam and Tucker down. Tucker's mouth purses into a thin line, and he presses the sides of his palms to his lips in prayer. "How have your parents not found out about this?"
Danny wordlessly raises his hand, and his sleeve slides down to reveal a thin chain bracelet hooked around his wrist. He whistles sharply, and both Procyon and Sirius jerk their heads up to look at him, ears pricked up and eyes alert.
Silently, he points to his wrist and rattles it twice, and in unison both wolves stand up and pounce. Instantly, they turn into a respective, opaque black and green mist that swirls around the bracelet and forms into two, flat wolf charms.
Both wolves are posing in the stereotypical wolf howl, with little stars indented on the sides. Procyon's charm has the Canis Minor constellation engraved on it, while Sirius has the Canis Major.
Danny faces Sam and Tucker, and points at his wrist. "Like this."
#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#danny phantom#danny fenton#dp prompt#dpxdc prompt#dpxdc crossover#danny phantom au#dpxdc au#i am SO tempted to make this a danyal al ghul au for no other reason than I love Danyal Al Ghul <33 he is the most blorbo ever#wolfpack au#tagged dpxdc bc i think yall could have fun with this idea.#plus this was inspired by a clone^2 commission that i just got the finished piece for today. which i'll prolly share if anyone's interested#just no thoughts head empty danny with a mini wolfpack :] Sirius and Procyon are very protective of him. they wuuuuuv him.#my idea (kinda) is that they're actually straight up *danny's* wolves. like. they were made when he was. they're not random ghost wolves#that decided to imprint on this random ghost child. they're danny's. they're like. familiars. the fact that wolves symbolize power. loyalty#guardianship and the fact that they're described as 'extremely intuitive with a near supernatural instinct that can detect danger'#(all of which can apply to danny) was coincidental. but yeah. they formed in the ghost zone and when they didn't find their boy they went#searching for him. which is why he didn't have them right away. but also if anyone wants to take this they can interpret however they like#also like. the fact that danny canonically is friends with a wolf person (Wulf) and befriended Cujo instantly -- who is shown to be hostile#to anyone NOT danny -- makes me think that dogs just REALLY really like him. he's like. an animal whisperer. which i think is really funny#bc i think it'd drive sam -- resident animal activist -- up a wall. just a little bit. like yes its great that these animals love danny sm!#but also!!! she!! look her way pls. she loves you animals sm. she's vegetarian!! she's just a little envious. just a tad.#just mmm the mental image of Sirius and Procyon stalking out of Danny's shadow with deep rumbling growls. their hackles raised and their#muzzles scrunched up to reveal dangerously sharp gleaming teeth. they're protecting their boy.
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Ghost after meeting Soap.
Price : Have you slept?
Ghost : Depends what day it is
Price : Go to bed.
#cod mw2#simon ghost riley#captain john price#implied ghostsoap#implied soapghost#ghost is a catboy by the way#Soap is more complicated because he's a cat person and doesn't like dogs but also he's very dogboy leaning personality wise#dad price for the win even if he's only old enough to be big brother price; he's 50 spiritually according to his 'kids'#price would be like 'ok do you want to talk about it?'#and ghost would look at him like 'what do you mean “talk about it” what happened to bottle it up like normal people?'#“i'll just forget all about it” ghost tells himself#and then soap is bumping into him in the corridor and smiling up at him with the power of the fucking sun and wow ghost is in love fuck#i was supposed to draw something for valentine's day but my brain was all no : funny scene first but now it's 9:30 am and i haven't slept#maybe expect something for valentine's day at some point - probably not today tho but like at some point this week maybe ?
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wakaba . superior
#personal#rgu#utena#wakaba shinohara#this is a study i did eons ago and by eons i mean like. twooooooooooooo months maybe idk#anyway shes everything 2 me 5evr#larry#i am a wakaba stan first and foremost she was soooo right to babygirlify saionji and turn him into a wet dog
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Barbara is still here, unfortunately
#the good news is her leag is healing and doesnt need a cast anymore!#the bad news is i am not a toy poodle person#and she annoys the heck out of me#barbara#sprig#dogs
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these make me feel emotions i dont quite understand
#i uh. emailed a single breeder tonight#part of me feels like its too soon after pando but also there was a reason i got pando when i did#and that is because it is a good time in my life to have a puppy especially with my current dog's ages.....#nettle turns 6 this year#and waitlists are sometimes over 2 years long#i just. Eugh#both excited & nerve-racking#finch#ideally i am putting myself on a list and will not get a puppy until nettle is running full lanes in flyball#among other things#but those things are more personal goals and less Dog Goals
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it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.
yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.
it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.
how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.
chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?
how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.
"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.
i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.
#writeblr#warm up#i can't write rn but i have SO much words in here bc im reading the chorus of dragons books#(just started book 4)#and this woman's writing is just LIVING in my brain. let me out!!!#(i read roughly like 2-4 books a week usually bc i go on long walks with my dog but when a book is REALLY good like. it eats my life. )#anyway ...... so like here's a story that idk i've tried to explain to other people as being wild#but maybe im the only one who thinks it is wild???#so i play pokemon go (i just started in jan) bc i love pokemon and as i have mentioned i walk goblin for like an hour in the morning#and i don't like a lot of fitness trackers due to the fact it makes me .sad. but i also wanted the little digital rewards. enter pokemon go#anyway so they make you make friends to complete quests. so i used a reddit thread. i do not usually use reddit. i don't have an acct#i lurked. i just googled like ''pokemon go reddit '' and randomly added a bunch of numbers#i was on that page for all of 15 minutes. there are THOUSANDS of responses on that page.#here's what's wild: in that group of people. even though i am not on reddit and it was one random event once#it turns out one of those people lives in the town i live in. or at least very close. i only know this because#when we send each other gifts. it's from the same freaking area.#i can't ask them to meet up bc pokemon go doesn't have a messaging app lol but like . what are the fucking chances that#a random person posts in a random reddit thread and HAPPENS to get added by someone ELSE from their SAME TOWN#who by pure fucking CHANCE is ALSO playing pokemon go and looking for friends#i googled it there's only 42000 people in my broad region. the .......... smallness ! of the world!!!
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Round and round, In circles we go.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#I re-worked this one so many times and it honestly could have had a few more re-dos#Desperately reminding myself that the point of all this is to create and move on and not obsess over little things#As I also have to recon the fact wwx's hands are untied for one panel as ...uh...its a mental projection. An abstraction of despair#Or that I really should have written 'get caught idiot' for a funnier text line.#Anyways! Don't think about that and instead think about how cute lwj is as he gets his zoomies out around the room.#Even the oldest dog will bounce and wag when playing with their favourite person....#More thoughts on wwx's crisis in tomorrow's upload for I am too sleepy to think right now
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cat!Kings and how they cuddle/sleep with you
Satan
definitely on your chest or anywhere on your torso
your thighs are a good spot too
he purrs so damn loud it wakes you up, especially if he's right on your sternum
if he ends up sleeping anywhere near your face, you're waking up with fur in your mouth
sometimes falls asleep with his eyes half open
it looks like a demon is watching while you sleep
is pretty chill with other cats but will fight if they try to take his fave spot
Mammon
1000% makes biscuits on your butt before falling asleep on it
any time you sleep/lay on your stomach, he's there to settle on your lower back
it feels like something is pinning you down tho cuz he's a biiig kitty
if you sleep on your back a lot, he will settle on your tummy or thighs instead
he likes to sleep on your chest sometimes but only when Satan's not around
they will fight
doesn't mind sharing his spots with the others tho
Leviathan
he hates you, you swear he does
but he always sleeps at your head/neck
legit will sleep on your face/neck
no one dares to go anywhere near
except for Satan but only on accident cuz he moves in his sleep sometimes
he gets the bap
everyone gets the bap
you tilt your head in a way he didn't like? bap
the other cats being annoying? bap bap bap
but on rare occasions, he's agreeable and cuddles without problems
Beelzebub
he's claimed the laundry basket where you put your dirty clothes
if it's full, you can find him there buried under your clothes
which is dangerous cuz one time you weren't paying attention and dumped him in the washer by accident (thank goodness you saw his lil butt poking out and got him)
but if the laundry basket is empty, he'll sleep w his face smooshed in your armpits
he always invades the other cat's fave spots but only Levi has beef with him (he gets the bap for just being there)
very rarely, you can have Beel and Levi sleeping on either side of your neck without fighting
he'll also sleep smooshed against your crotch or butt
Mammon doesn't mind sharing thankfully
will join him for biscuit making on your thighs
moves in his sleep A LOT
Lucifer
doesn't really cuddle
he'll be there on the edge of the bed, far enough not to get caught in the four's chaos but close enough for you to give scritches
closest he gets in laying against your shins
almost never ever sleeps belly up (the only time he does is when sleeping with kitty!Gamigin)
sometimes you wake up to him going around checking you and the others
more often than not, you see him staring at you as you fall asleep
chillest cat of the bunch, though he gets bitey sometimes (Satan holds the record for most bitey cat)
#what in “hell” is bad#prettybusy what in “hell” is bad?#what in hell is bad#whb#whb kings#whb headcanons#whb satan#whb lucifer#whb mammon#whb leviathan#whb beelzebub#🦐:ramblings#why am i#a dog person#writing about kitties l#lmao#just to let you know i don't own a single cat#whb:cat shelter au
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Inspired by one of you previous arts, do you think L and Light both bite each other’s lips, or does Light only bite L’s?
Anon, this question really made me think. So much so I had to put pen to paper. And I think I’ve decided that in classic lawlight fashion they both are biters, but their executions are where the similarities end.
#thank you for the ask!#I was thinking to myself like oh you fucking KNOW L would be a bitey little thing#I think I personally take much joy out of the whole cherry stem oral fixation bits in the source material#and would imagine that L’s bites are equally like shows of dominance#but where light in my head is like more of a showman with his sadism I think L would bite in the way one would tug on a dogs leash#like ah ah ah tsk tsk bite bite bite#am I making sense#no#bazpangoart#death note#l lawliet#lawlight#light yagami#this has been in my scheduled queue for a good week#but I needed to jump in here and say big oof and big hugs to my American friends#Will draw as much copium as u need bbs
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Dairy Girl-- Part 2
A Homelander x F! Reader fanfic
A/N: Sorry for taking so long to post this and hope the lenght is enough of an apology, yeah this is gonna be liek 4 parts i got too engrossed btw. hope yall like it here's the previous chapter:
Synopsis: In order to provide a constant supply of fresh breastmilk for Vought’s number one hero, Vought has had to get quite nifty in order to prevent this secret desire out the press and the public– you have unfortunately discovered the truth.
Tags: Stockholm Syndrome, abusive dynamic, Homelander being Homelander, dub-con, dark, mild smut, breastfeeding kink, kidnapping, child-death mention tw, cheating tw, set in s4 but canon nothing, slow burn.
word count: 3.4K
Part 2– Calf
As he’d mentioned before the house was an escape proof cage– every window had its hinges super glued or welded shut, glass panels thick enough to prevent shattering but thin enough to allow sound in. That night as he’d left you for the first time you kept your composure, perturbed more by the earlier events that nothing had time to sink in, you venture across the 3 bedroom home, each room old taken straight out from a vintage furniture catalog, the master bedroom smelled just like your grandmother’s, the bathroom walls covered in tacky pink tiles that you told yourself will never get used to.
By the time you explored the whole building you understood the following: The size felt deceiving, without a way to see the outside this building could’ve been 35 floors high and you wouldn’t know, the east-wing of the building at the opposite direction where you’d emerged was cut off from you by a thick metal door, an eye-scan request made its unpickable lock, looking at how it cut on the hardwood floors you’d guess this is where in the kitchen and perhaps the garage and entry hall could be found, this overall felt like an architectural nightmare, the only other oddity of this was the piles and piles of bottled water– Vought branded water… you much rather drink Dasani than this crap… It was by far the worst one in the supermarket.
There were indeed no phones or even ethernet ports on the wall, the TV was bolted in its place and so was the VHS player (and all the furniture too), there were at least 350 titles on the walls (something you bothered to count on day 5), an extremely old vinyl player your only other company... whoever had supposedly lived here was a big fan of Cab Calloway, ABBA and Bruce Springsteen, here you and Bruce could become intimate friends it seems after all you had all his vinyls, alongside an expansive jazz assortment, nothing in this selection went past 1989.
You also learned a very useful fact on day 3 you stared at one of the 18 cameras that you’d found.
“I really want some Mcnuggets! Like just a 12-pack and a large Sprite! Maybe an Oreo Mcflurry too!” You yelled into the camera waving your arms as if the circular lense would reply somehow.
Barely few minutes later the air was filled with the roaring sounds of a bike burning tires seemed the forbidden end faced some road which made you giddy, about 50 minutes later a small door at the door itself opened smoothly where the first strange hand you’ve seen in the last 3 days popped-out leaving a bag with a familiar logo… it wasn’t maccas tho, it was Vought-a-burger which was okay but that wasn’t the point, you picked your meal and your oversize ice-cream and drink and begun connecting lines– Your prison was in Pennsylvania, based on the area code on the phone number on that old pizza box, located close enough from both a pizza chain and on a 15 to 20 minutes drive from a Vought-a-Burger, the library held no maps for you to try to find your location but give or take about an hour or two by foot from any civilization… Yet as you drank the mostly melted caramel churro sundae you smiled thinking of how to steal a bike.
That Night you picked two tapes from the wall not caring one bit about what you were going to see, you stared at the camera.
“Hey can one of you check like an underrated 80s movie list from IMDb ‘cuz I seen a few of these already… at least bring me something new!”
As always no response was ever given, you dragged your feet towards that ornate bedroom of yours, pink walls, flowery quits, a matching chaise lounge, a hardwood coffee table bolted to the ground and your private TV and VHS player, it took you an hour to remember how to use these thing that second day here. You put on a movie, curling in your bed in the dark, smelling the sweet flowery smell of fabric softener, this didn’t smell like home, pillows too soft, mattress too soft everything here was made to bring you comfort but it was making you feel like a squatter.
The cold light of the screen enveloped every surface and you slowly faded away as ‘Lady in White’ began to wrap up, eyes glued to the screen so firmly you screamed when the faint red light peeked from the corner, clutching the quilt across your body as the red faded away and all you saw was a vaguely illuminated shape.
Blurry colors with no clean shapes, standing facelessly enough blue to let you see it was humanoid, Homelander creeped closer, his body blocking the light and like a shadow he devours everything, he turned around to pause the player, draping his gloves on the dumb box as he turned around once more, your heart caught in your throat, each breath quick and sharp as he took another step closer, hushing softly and he’s there swallowing you whole he kneeled into the bed the mattress squeaked and chimed sinking under his weight pulling you in, only the faint outline of gold eagles and soft blonde locks told you with absolute certainty that he was here… that 3 days ago you indeed met The Homelander, far from the pretty blue-eyed hunk from the movies more ghoul.
You swallowed as his head rested on the pillow next to your hips, his nose burying in the cushioned pillowcase.
“I was busy with work” He mumbles softly, staring at you with the same playfulness of a guilty pet owner who’d ran out of their cat's churu treats– "I promise to visit, I got you something… left it downstairs for you.”
He stared at your white knuckled hands and without uttering a word you understood his demands, fingers moved by psychic force alone, you welcomed him into your lap as you came undone, burying your digits into his hair, soft like cotton, so smooth you dreamt of cat’s bellies as you scratched him, he took the remote from under you lifting you with so much ease your brain struggled to compute it at first, the movie played and all he wanted was petting.
“Security told me you’ve been good… nothing crazy… am glad, "he said with a tired tone.
“What good would that do me…?” You replied with your eyes focused on the screen.
If you wanted to survive I had to get on his good side, no? you though
“I like it when you people understand your place” He chuckles softly.
‘You people’? You could easily discern the meaning behind his words by tone alone, your finger stopped suddenly, his eyes flaring up immediately.
“I think this would be more productive if you told me exactly what’s going on… I won’t try to run or scream… am just confused and scared…” you spoke bluntly as his gaze met yours in the dark.
“This is my private speakeasy and you’re the bartender… tap too… is hard being on top… and I want some relief… and a sanctum–
“To express your socially unacceptable inclinations/interests? Fair enough I can imagine the press would eat you alive if they found out you liked breastmilk.”
“You’re cute and smart too.” He pushed himself into your stomach, your body sinking to the shape he wanted, holding you tight– I’ll be a good owner and let you asks me absolutely anything you want”
“Why me?”
“Dunno.” His lips tightened into a flat line– the doctors picked you, I asked for a good provider… but all the women downstairs and you did have one thing in common” He sounded awkward as he spoke listening to your increasing heartbeat– you kept producing… I asked to have easy access to my treat but somebody downstairs came out with all of this” his hand lazily gestures around– bit extra I know.”
How simple, he didn’t even care about this to begin with, glaring at him gave you no answers or comfort.
“My family…?”
“They think you killed yourself, I've been told… your ex-hubby been on twitter acting holier than the virgin mary, absolutely devastated for likes” You bit your lips, face scrunching up ready to shout and cry– everybody suspects he murdered you even the cops”
“I'm going to kill him!!” Your tears flowed regardless – god fucking dammit!”
Your whole body rejected the news, twisting your stomach and filling you with needles
“How would you do it?”
“Bash his head in with a hammer…?? I don’t know but fuck him! I wasted 5 years of my life with that bastard!” You cried.
Homelander buried his face into your stomach, hiding the smile on his face. as you cursed outloud for a little bit, he paid no attention to your words.
“Sorry…” You cleaned your tears trying to stop this embarrassing display, the mere thought of him acting like he cared made you sick when he wouldn’t even come to his own son’s funeral– are you gonna hurt me?” you cleaned your nose against the pillow.
He moved so quickly before you knew it he’s face to face and even in this dark room only lit by rolling credits he appeared serene as a painting… It makes your blood run cold.
“Why would I hurt my comforter?”
That night he only slept for a couple hours, never moving from your stomach, holding you regardless, he snored softly, mumbling half-spoken words, lips twitching and brows furrowing, you petted him gently watching his hardened frown melt.
Some days he’d come once, others he’d come five times and then there were the days were you didn’t see him at all, leaving you awkwardly aware about how odd these exchanges felt… for it never felt truly sexual, your fears of molestation and ‘real’ assault dissuaded as you accepted that all this man was doing was come here to whine and bitch about work and suck on your titty– like right now, Homelander has been shouting, talkign so much shit about his coworkers you started to wonder if it was made up for nobody could certainly be that allegedly incompetent, about how stressful it was to do 20 plus media interviews all day, about hoq\w his latest film “Justice Serve” was a fucking nightmare already despite being only half-way thru pre-production.
“Do you even know what it's like to deal with idiots who think they’re better than you because they have an award!?” He put your nipple back in his mouth with a frown– who does Villeneuve think he is” He mumbled into your skin.
Yet he didn’t only bring petty grievances and thirsty lips– he showered you with gifts, perfumes you couldn’t pronounce filled with soft fragrances: sweet but not sugary, warm tones without too much spice. Brought you beauty products to pamper you… to watch you play with from the many cameras in the house, and dressed you like a doll in clothes you honestly wouldn't have bought in the first place, too flowery and tradwifey.
You did so with a fake smile, you’d be pretty for him if you must, keep your tongue in-check and swallow the ever increasing knot in your throat for he at least wasn’t loud towards you, he didn’t yell, he didn’t make scenes… you were just living like his newest pet.
His miniature cow standing in the living room instead of the evergreen pastures outside, VHS tapes and steel food trays made your fence.
You keep busy cleaning this house making stories of who had lived there, Bruce the only one who spoke to you.
Analysing the house inch by inch, there had to have been a spot they’ve missed you kept thinking, you figured that somehow they monitored your sleep cycle, only entering to remove dirty clothes and trash in the death of night, they knew if you were obviously awake, on day 14 you stayed up till around 5 am and not a peep was heard accross the house but as you woke past noon all your trash had been cleaned up, on day 16 you stayed awake all day felt sick passed out and same thing, you would find a way out, you would force them to take you out, all the furniture was glued in its post but if you had to cause a fire you fucking would… as you stared at your clean bedsheets you figure you could force them to come in and drag you outside but as you postulated the possibility of a faux-suicide attempt Homelander’s face flashed accross closed eyes– dare dissapointing him and lose all the goodwill you’d been building, trust, even presents more extravagant than anything your ex ever did.
Had he not kidnapped you, hold you against your will in an underground bunker, used you as a milk fountain and terrified the fuck out of you with his invisible steps in the middle of the night you would had found him charming… endearing even… at least he was still handsome… frightening but handsome.
Day 18-19-20 were the worse so far, days went by and your isolation only grew he had not come by, your meals delivered so quietly you missed them and found them cold, birds either too loud or gone but Homelander never came, every hour the anxiety only grew as you found your throat aching to speak with somebody other than a non-present 80s musician.
You made a stack of the movies you’ve seen yelling to the camera demanding more to watch, abandoning the cause to focus on the obscene collection of Danielle Steel books in the library… at least 30 books, at least it was a distraction as you woke up for the third day in a row without hearing from Homelander.
You talked to yourself, prettier views didn’t make up for human interaction, you had isolated yourselves before… you didn’t eat, shower, answer calls, simply left yourself to rot in your bed, sinking deeper and deeper into your mattress, the calm heartbeat of the machine keeping you alive until the phone battery died, now here you were curling in the couch feeling that endless void inside you screaming back at you, nothing to distract you from it any longer.
How ironic that those days locked in the basement had been the firsts since the funeral that you’d hadn’t thought about it.
Now every sleep came with dreams of distant cries, empty halls that cooed back, and a sense of urgency as time slipped from underneath you, nothing here smelled like him, yet in your sleep you held your pillow as you once held him, swearing it smelled like him, in the silence the singing birds sound like babies, but there’s nothing but creaking floorboards, old pipes and foreign ghosts in this place.
In this endless silence your mind told you this was limbo, jazz solos disguised the pandemonium of a silent afterlife, but as your heart anguished once again you buried yourself in paltry distractions, reading out loud as to keep your vocal chords warm and delude yourself that there was some company in here, mostly to hide the nonexistent crying.
It took you by surprise when half way thru ‘The Ghost’ you heard the buzzing of the steel door, your ears perked up stretching your neck before falling into the floor, shaky knees picked you up once more with a brave kick, quick steeping into the living room– Homelander stood staring at the messy pile talking to the camera to have this sorted and for the first time since you’d been here you sawn another human, who answered his call almost immediately, a man in kevlar rushed in his gun bouncing on his back alongside a young man dragging an ikea bag.
“Homelander!” Your voice was hoarse but he still turned to smile at you.
“We got you some new movies Ms. L/N” The young man spoke dropping the bag with a heavy thud.
“Watch it!” Homelander growled and you saw a slight stain dribble down his pants– just go wait in the library kitten while these ones sort this out for you.”
Your feet moved anyways, too excited by the presence of new faces, had he not cleared his throat you would’ve said anything just to make sure this wasn’t a dream, you looked away and that big steel door was wide open, an armed guard by the exit tho… it was an office, painted white with cool fluorescent lights.
Run, the voices scream.
Run.
For fucks sake run!!\
but...
You stay still.
It’s a test. Run and die, run and he’d snap your spine in thirds before you understand what happened your brain would be separated from your cranium no doubt, you swallow and take a step back, slow heavy agonizing steps lead you to the library.
Homelander’s gaze softens as he watches you sit by the unlit fireplace, he follows you soon after leaving the staff to work behind, you lift your head with a stiff neck, your tongue swollen inside your mouth, he smiles gently dropping to your level, carrying a small box.
The pretty bow doesn’t catch your attention in the least.
Not that dashing smile and ever so blue eyes either.
He tickles your nose without touching.
Chamomile and oat, a pale scent, subtle and clean…
As he scoot closer to you urging you to take the meaningless box held by nude hands, he pets your chin, leaving you to catch nutty tones… his hands smell of almond oil and cream.
He’s talking as he guides your hand into opening the present but you aren’t hearing a single word spoken… all you care about is his aroma…it invides you carving an aching hollow chest, making you dizzy and the world is squeezing your whole body with a thousands of pounds of violent force but you’re still held in one piece, wrapping your neck with the necklace he’d got you, touching every exposed inch leaving traces of sweet almond on you, resting his chin on your stiff shoulder so close whispering sweet nothings to you… hair smells so creamy… milky coconut, it makes you ill– You could name every brand he wore if asked.
“You like it?” He asks into your neck.
‘Like’ what? You guessed he meant the necklace.
“Where have you been?” You asked, wanting to think of anything but that bitter scent.
He pushes you down into the carpet, your hair drapes everywhere so he moves it to give himself no chance to pull it, you can’t even argue but your surprise and discomfort still paints your face, before you can say anything he drops his head on your stomach, nuzzling your dress and pulling your hand towards his head.
“I don’t want to talk about it” his muffle words sound angry, he whined into your stomach a quiet order demanding affection.
Obeying orders before he could whined even more for now you wanted silence again.
Staying like this for as long as he needed, leaving you to speculate what brought him such distress that caused him to abandon you as a result, a part of you stared in awe as you realized you how long this man could stay still without making a sound for.
How long did you lay there in a shared repose that your eyes shut? you wondered as the orange glow of afternoon sun warmed your cheeks, his hand cleaned a falling tear off your face as you woke up with a headache.
“Had a nightmare?”
Your hand unconsciously pulled him close to you, burying his face under your chin he’d awkwardly smiled as he adjusted to your demands, talking to you but it was white noise, your kept him still bridging an arm across his neck locking him in position, your other hand buried in blond, closing your eyes as you got high on shampoo.
In your mind much like your dream you hold him so close, he was plump and giddy, his hair more than a thin tuff, you laughed with him, as you dried his back, you swore to never love the scent of coconut, you held back your pain as you held him with all your might.
“I don’t want to talk about it…”
#homelander#homelander x reader#homelander x fem!reader#personal#my fic tag#the boys amazon#i have not proofread this so i die as the dog that i am#will edit for errors tomorrow cuz its almost midnight when am posting this.
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it's always been difficult for me to make new friends, and now that i'm almost 30 it seems just impossible. unless it's a 40yo geologist i know. then it all goes back to the childhood method that always worked: "hey look at the cool rock i just found"
#she likes my drawings :))#yippie#little human interactions make me happy when it's something simple#“hey it's a dog we've met on expedition!”#“i didn't know you drew him!”#“i found this rock i thought u might like it”#also being genuinely interested about something the other person likes is really nice when it's mutual#like hey tell me everything about this boring mineral and i'll tell u everything about those new pencils i use#i am SO.#starved of normal nice interactions with people OUTSIDE !!!! OF WORK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#thanks
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