#while still recognizing nuances.
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blujayonthewing · 4 months ago
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DM, on getting together to talk about backstory stuff I have to have him build with me: I might need to ask a few more questions about Felix and also what drives him besides curiosity
me: is curiosity not enough??
also me: well the other major thing was supposed to be solving this mystery that I asked for your cooperation with six months ago and have never gotten any input on
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adriles · 2 years ago
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"your violence is unspeakable now " ive always committed grievous acts of violence and war crimes . You are just mad at me for killing someone who matters
#hector#book 22#book 24#again imbued with themes ig#cause while yeah this is haha silly#it is also very much a take ive seen lol#less so in the case of achilles and more so with hector post patroclus#and can be applied to practically any other character#like there is horrific violence and devastation everywhere in this story#the evil isnt the person acting it is the totality of it. war and violence make monsters of men#there is a totality of devastation that is recognized in what happens between the 3#but it isnt just limited to the characters alone. if u limit it to that it is so so deeply one dimensional#anyways if yall can stomach war crimes discussion#i would forever recommend the doc the act of killing#every so often i think about it and just…..god.#i havent watched the second doc still and im sad about that cause it is about a victim confronting the abuses exacted by these people#but the act of killing is just…..interviewing these people years after they horrifically maimed and killed so many. and then#asking them to describe the act. and how they felt. and how they feel now. and if it was justified. is just……god fr a must watch if u can#handle that type of pain. both visually and in spoken word#but yeah. nuance is the point of this aside lol#oh but also just cause no one gets upset over all those men who die. like that post that is like is the whole book just like this#these descriptions of death at a massive scale in another catalogue type form#hell ik people have talked about character kill counts on here. i have been that bitch#to prove a ferocity in battle or whatever the hell#but there is no recognition of that depravity. it is only when it touches someone we know by the narrative to be loved#to be powerful. to be good. to be worth something to the people around him#and to see him act with his family and in battle before the end and with the gods and#humanity makes it hit more obviously. that is how stories work. but to step back from that and recognize#oh so many men also died terribly. so many things happened to their bodies. and they only get a line. that is what gets me
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daydreamerdrew · 1 year ago
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The Incredible Hulk (1968) #267
#I've previously been a bit frustrated with this arc for what I felt was a simplistic approach to the ethics of curing Bruce of the Hulk#this is the beginning of us getting a little more nuance as Rick recognizes that they are tricking the Hulk#all this talk about freeing Bruce from the Hulk and freeing the Hulk from Bruce#when really they’re trying to ‘free Bruce Banner all right- by bamfing the Hulk outta the picture!’#also the fact that Rick knows that this is going to hurt the Hulk and assumes that Betty does too but she’s actually forgotten#while Rick isn’t necessarily contradicting the idea that Bruce and the Hulk are one he is framing his participation as loyalty to Bruce#obviously Betty is more loyal to Bruce and less so to the Hulk too#but I like that idea that Rick has a bit more of an awareness of what they’re really doing#while Betty is more singlemindedly focused on Bruce and so isn't really thinking the other side of it through#not that I'd doubt she wouldn't still prioritize Bruce over the Hulk if she did#but I don't think she's consciously taking advantage of the Hulk's trust in her#I’m thinking of how in the 1996 Hulk cartoon when Bruce and the Hulk were briefly separated#she had always previously tried desperately to stop her father from going after the Hulk and convince him that he had misjudged the Hulk#and while she was aware that her father was still going after the Hulk she stayed focused on Bruce and just assumed the Hulk would be fine#she didn't say that she doesn’t care about the Hulk without Bruce as a part of him#but she really didn't care about the Hulk when Bruce wasn't a part of him#which makes sense for her considering her experiences#whereas Rick I think looking back on the very early days has been terrorized by the Hulk more directly than Betty has#but his life hasn't overall been as dominated as he's been off in other books doing things with other superheroes#and I think it makes sense for him to have more appreciation for the Hulk as a person#the issue after this parallels Rick's upbringing with the Hulk's life#marvel#bruce banner#rick jones#betty ross#my posts#comic panels
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yovrnewromantic · 7 months ago
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WORTH IT
ex!husband eddie munson x reader
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based on the hc! by me that eddie kidnaps your kids, charging kisses for ransom wc: 1.2K
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“You know you can’t keep doing this.”
Eddie can hardly hold back a pout. He knows you’ll criticize him if he lets it slip, reminding him that ‘he’s a grown man for goodness’ sake’ even though his puppy eyes never fail to succeed against you. Except once. Only once, when you filed for divorce circa 12 years ago.
Filed into the back of the van, your children are pressing their faces up against the glass windows. Their eyes are wide, noses are upturned, fogging up the glass with each breath— looking like the myth of pig-men came to life and are giddy to draw smiley faces and ‘hi mom’s into the steamed up glass. Unlike you, they enjoy when their dad kidnaps them, waving their teachers off with forged letters so they can hobble into his car and fiddle with the stereo as he stops at the florist, and biting their lips to stop their excitement when they see your old camaro pull up.
Forget-Me-Nots lay half-forgotten at Eddie’s side as he ruffles his already messy curls, mesmerized as you step out the car, mom jeans and rock shirt hanging loose. You look as beautiful as the day he met you. Some days, he feels like it is the first time he met you, his heart paralyzed by a certain type of warmth at the sight of your face. It’s like everything around you disappears and he recognizes his purpose. You. You make him feel like a teenager in love.
“Eventually I’m just gonna call the cops on your ass.”
Angry is not how you would describe yourself in the moment. The first time it happened, hell, you were pissed. Smoke practically blew out your ears when he first called, interrupting himself with giggles while he announced “The prince and princess of, phh, Munsonville have been exiled along with the King. Haha, oh um— If you wish to see them ever again, you must pay the price!” After the second, third, fourth, and tenth time, it’s only become a nuance.
“Hi, Mom!” your daughter calls out, voice muffled. Her hands are sprawled against the window, the hair that was once well-kept into two braids is now fuzzy and tangled. Her brown doe eyes peering at you, standing on her tippy toes to see. Looking like the splitting image of her father. Behind her, your son is playing with Eddie’s electric-blue guitar, strumming the string so harshly that you cringe, but Eddie doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, he’s still staring at you.
Dumbly, Eddie just sticks the bouquet in your face, his fist inches from your face. “M’lady.” Through the thin stems of your favorite flower, you can see his lopsided smile.
Rather delicately, you take the flowers from his grasp, looking at them for a second too long to keep up your uneffected act. These must’ve been on sale, you assure yourself. He doesn’t remember the flowers you walked up the isle with, he couldn’t have. When you can finally drag your eyes away, your brows are furrowed. Something fluttering in your stomach as Eddie tilts his head, usual shit-eating grin strangely sweet. Small indigo petals flutter to the ground as they’re knocked off their branches from impact of hitting Eddie square in chest.
“Ow!” He lifts his arms up in defense. The purple-blue veins that flex on his bicep matching the shade of the dwindling flowers. “Y/N!”
Finally, easing your attack, your chest rises and falls as you point a finger at his chest. “Give my kids, Munson!”
“Mrs. Munson!” Again, you raise the flowers to wack him over the head, but Eddie’s hand grips your wrist, holding it in place and smiling innocently at you. “You know the drill by now.”
Groaning, you hide your face in what’s left of your flowers, a red hue rising on your cheeks. It’s embarrassing— giving in this easy to your ex husband’s demands, but there’s a special spot in your heart for Eddie that just. won’t. go. away. No matter how many dates you went on, no one could replace him.
Eddie’s hands are gentle as they pry your hands, and flowers, away from your face. He’s close enough that you can feel the heat of his breath. Harshly sighing through your nose, and trying to convincingly eye roll, you choke out, “What do I owe this time?”
“Well, seeing as it took you ten extra minutes to get here from the estimated time…”
You shake your head. “I was busy explaining why the teachers didn’t need to issue an amber alert, dipshi—.”
“Ten kisses.” He’s too happy with himself, rocking back and forth on his heels as he watched the disbelief transform your pretty face.
“Ten?”
He raises his brows, playfully puckering. “Lay ‘em on me, honey.”
It’s never not awkward, begrudgingly (not really) approaching your ex husband with slow, torturous movements. Fingers finding his tattooed skin— which you used to color before you became adults and life went to shit, tracing up the expense of his arms until your hands connect around the back of his neck. He’s nibbling his lip as you inch forward, impatient. When your lips are close enough to touch, your breaths sync and your eyes meet. Heart racing, your eyes flutter shut. Lightly, the plush of your lips meet his— always surprising— soft lips. One.
Again. Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
Six.
Seven.
Eight.
Eddie can’t help himself. His hands fly to your waist, squeezing the flesh he can reach and pulling your closer, shoving his tongue in your mouth when your hands tug on his hair. He tastes just as you remember, like tobacco and cheerios. As his tongue explores your mouth, you moan into his. Betrayed by your own body, dammit. His lips twitch against yours. When his teeth start to clash against yours, that’s when you pull away, a thick string of saliva connecting you. Nine.
Your eyes are hazy, a dumbstruck, lightheaded feeling coming over your body as you lean forward again. Foreheads connecting. Your noses nudging. Panting into each other’s mouth. Far too sensual for a divorced couple. Eddie finishes the last kiss for you, pecking your lips. Your breath hitches when he drags his teeth against the bottom. Ten.
“Pleasure doing business with you,” he chuckles, panting. His large palm finds the bottom of your ass.
“Go to hell,” you whisper against his lips. “Kids!”
“Already in the car, Mom!” Tucked in the back of the car, seat belts buckled, your children look unimpressed. Your cheeks go bright red as you adjust yourself, trying hard not to stomp to the car as you avoid contact with Eddie, who walks slowly, cockily, behind you.
“I’ll call you later, sweetheart!”
You shove your hand out your unrolled window, middle finger up. Eddie’s laugh makes your chest tighten, but you won’t let it show, flipping on your sunglasses and pulling the fuck away from him. Eddie smiles as his kids wave through the window, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans with a knowing look on his face.
He’ll win you back eventually.
p.s. 💋
“Mommy, are you and daddy getting back together?”
With your grip tightening on the steering wheel, knuckles turning your white, you meet your five year old son’s clueless eyes in the review mirror— the product of the last time you got back together with his father. “Not a chance.”
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not edited or read over 😔
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ilovedthestars · 4 months ago
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A thought I’ve been having: While it's important to recognize the long history of many current queer identities (and the even longer history of people who lived outside of the straight, cis, allo “norm”) I think it's also important to remember that a label or identity doesn't have to be old to be, for lack of a better word, real.
This post that i reblogged a little while ago about asexuality and its history in the LGBTQ+ rights movement and before is really good and really important. As i've thought about it more, though, it makes me wonder why we need to prove that our labels have "always existed." In the case of asexuality, that post is pushing back against exclusionists who say that asexuality was “made up on the internet” and is therefore invalid. The post proves that untrue, which is important, because it takes away a tool for exclusionists.
But aromanticism, a label & community with a lot of overlap & solidarity with asexuality, was not a label that existed during Stonewall and the subsequent movement. It was coined a couple decades ago, on internet forums. While the phrasing is dismissive, it would be technically accurate to say that it was “made up on the internet.” To be very clear, I’m not agreeing with the exclusionists here—I’m aromantic myself. What I’m asking is, why does being a relatively recently coined label make it any less real or valid for people to identify with?
I think this emphasis on historical precedent is what leads to some of the attempts to label historical figures with modern terminology. If we can say someone who lived 100 or 1000 years ago was gay, or nonbinary, or asexual, or whatever, then that grants the identity legitimacy. but that's not the terminology they would have used then, and we have no way of knowing how, or if, any historical person's experiences would fit into modern terminology.
There's an element of "the map is not the territory" here, you know? Like this really good post says, labels are social technologies. There's a tendency in the modern Western queer community to act like in the last few decades the "truth" about how genders and orientations work has become more widespread and accepted. But that leaves out all the cultures, both historical and modern, that use a model of gender and sexuality that doesn't map neatly to LGBTQ+ identities but is nonetheless far more nuanced than "there are two genders, man and woman, and everyone is allo and straight." Those systems aren’t any more or less “true” than the system of gay/bi/pan/etc and straight, cis and trans, aro/ace and allo.
I guess what I’m saying is, and please bear with me here, “gay” people have not always existed. “Nonbinary” people have not always existed. “Asexual” people have not always existed. But people who fell in love with and had sex with others of the same gender have always existed. People who would not have identified themselves as either men or women have always existed. People who didn’t prioritize sex (and/or romance) as important parts of their lives have always existed. In the grand scheme of human existence, all our labels are new, and that’s okay. In another hundred or thousand years we’ll have completely different ways of thinking about gender and sexuality, and that’ll be okay too. Our labels can still be meaningful to us and our experiences right now, and that makes them real and important no matter how new they are.
We have a history, and we should not let it be erased. But we don’t need a history for our experiences and ways of describing ourselves to be real, right now.
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phantom-thieves-official · 3 days ago
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can I say something controversial. I think by interpreting the Maruki reality stuff w Akechi as 'Joker's greatest wish was for Akechi to live bc they're in love!' is kind of a poor read of the text. Not because I don't ship them or whatever, my shipping opinions aren't relevant to this post. But because I think it overlooks a big part of Joker's actual character. He wanted Akechi to live because he saw an innocent person taken advantage of and discarded. He saw someone who needed help. You can even go further with this and say, okay, Akechi wasn't an innocent person - he killed people and tried to kill Joker himself. And what does that mean for Joker's character? It means he saw someone who had done terrible things - some of them to Joker, personally - and he still came away from Shido's palace with the understanding that while he did bad things, Akechi was a victim of Shido's, too. Good, or bad, or in between, that he still was someone in need of help. Joker wanted to help Akechi. He wanted to give Akechi a chance to make things right, and to show him that they didn't have to enemies - that Akechi didn't have to fight the Phantom Thieves, and he didn't have to be alone; that it's never too late to change course and be a better person and that Akechi's life didn't have to be one of hatred and isolation. He could atone for his crimes, still take down shido, and have a group of people to support him. After the terrible things Akechi did as Shido's lapdog, after he sold the thieves out and plotted to murder Joker. Joker still just wanted to help him. Joker saw that while Akechi was undoubtedly a criminal he was also a victim, and there was something in there worth trying to save. But you know what? He couldn't do it. Right as he seemed to be getting through to Akechi, he was killed by Shido's cognitive version.
And so when Maruki's reality brings Akechi back, it means imo that Joker feels guilty. Out of all the people he'd been able to help, Akechi was the one person he just couldn't save. It's not because they're in love, it's because Joker regrets how things worked out. He regrets that he didn't get through to Akechi sooner. He regrets failing a vulnerable and victimized person whom he feels he could have helped. Even if that person hated Joker. Even if that person had previously tried to kill Joker with his own hands. Joker's sense of justice is imo his biggest character trait, followed closely by his massive savior complex. Of course he wanted Akechi to live. Because in Joker's eyes, despite what he'd done to hurt Joker, Akechi was still a victim. He was still someone Joker should have been able to save.
This all comes to a head when Joker chooses to deny Maruki's reality. He's choosing to live with the guilt; to accept he can't save everyone no matter how hard he tries. He's moving beyond the savior complex and recognizing that sometimes, some people are really just unreachable, or don't want to be helped. It's a moment not only of characterization, but of character growth for him.
anyway that's my hot take. by viewing the third semester through a shipping lens exclusively you lose a huge point of characterization for Joker bc you overlook the nuances of Joker's desire to help everyone all the time and the guilt he feels about failing to help Akechi. You misconstrue Joker's desire to help in the first place as coming from a place of love rather than a place of selflessness and justice; a place of 'doing what's right simply because it is the right thing to do.' You miss out on the subtle ways it shows Joker's not biased by hatred or contempt, how despite the heinous things Akechi has done, and despite the harm done to him directly at Akechi's hand, Joker is still capable of seeing that Akechi is a victim, too - which in itself shows that Joker's idea of justice isn't motivated by personal relationships, grudges, or biases.
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lina-transverse · 6 months ago
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Queer discourse on this site of fun cause it just turns into mostly White Queers just saying the same things over and over and no one is capable of understanding nuance or willing to consider the others point of view cause they're more concerned with "winning" the argument. Which is stupid and pointless because arguing is for idiots.
Y'all know we're on the same side right? There's no point in having discussions over 'who the most oppressed' is when it's obviously black and brown queer people, especially transfem black women.
This is a fact.
Do y'all even remember back in the late 2010's when the only time "transgender" or "transfem" trended n this site was when another black or brown sister was killed?
Do y'all even care about them? I've seen tons of posts for Pauly Likens which is great, but where's the outrage for Shannon Boswell, shot to death in the street while police denied said shooting even happened? What about Tayy Thomas and River Goddard, just children who were killed by their partners? Where's your rage for TK Hill, shot outside his hair salon? Or Africá Garciá, homeless and shot to death in a dirty street.
Last year 320 trans people were killed. Three-hundred and fucking twenty.
Of those deaths, 94% of them were transfem/ trans women and over 80% were black and brown people. Many were sex workers or homeless. Lots of them were degendered by the media and police in death. Even more deaths are unreported either due to degendering or their bodies not being found. So many of these people (again, mostly black and brown transfem's) are violated and horrifically tortured by their tormentors.
If your discussion of transphobia doesn't include black and trans people, if you cannot recognize this simple fact, then you're no ally to the trans community.
Community means you look out and support those that are the most vulnerable; it means you show the fuck up and speak the fuck up when you hear racist shit. It means you ABSOLUTELY DO NOT call the cops on a homeless person, it means you look out for those that have less than you, the disadvantaged and disenfranchised. White queers have white privilege! We still benefit from our whiteness (especially in the US) so fucking use that shit!
Get your heads outta your asses and actually be a part of your community instead of whinging and whining and wringing your hands helplessly while ignoring the ACTUAL dangers trans people face.
I'm gonna close this with a quote from a friend of África Garciá that perfectly encapsulates how the world views transfem's.
“A lot of trans women are on the streets and are made invisible because many people believe that their lives are worthless,” LeQueen, a trans artist and friend of García’s, told the paper. “They don’t give them the ‘spotlight’ that they deserve, and those men take advantage of that. They think, If I kill her here, no one is going to care.”
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autumnscribbles · 2 months ago
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the one | drew starkey
part 2
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pairing: drew starkey x married!reader
summary: after drew picked you up after your husband hurt you, it’s time to face him together
warnings: mentions of abuse, slight physical violence, not really proofread
wc: 1.9k
authors note: thank you guys so much for all the love on part 1!!! it truly means the world to me! it took me a while to think of where to take part 2, but i wanted it to be somewhat open ended so i hope you still like it!!
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅ ⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅ ⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘
The sun broke through the slight crack of the curtains, making you squint despite your eyes still being shut. Your eyes slightly opened, your mind instantly disoriented. You gasped as you quickly sat up, nervously taking in your surroundings. After a few seconds it came back to you. Derek. Last night. Drew.
The bed was vacant beside you. You remembered falling asleep with Drew last night, but you had no idea what he did after that. You smelled coffee wafting into the room, instantly craving it. You quickly threw the blankets to the side and found the kitchen, Drew’s clothes still on your body. His familiar scent comforted you and made you feel nostalgic for simpler days. Before Drew left to pursue acting, before you married Derek, before everything. You missed being carefree, riding your bike with Drew to go watch the sunset as you sipped on takeout milkshakes together. You missed when your biggest worry was what you would wear to school the next day, or what your weekend plans would be. You missed your life before all of this. Before you had to walk on eggshells around your husband, or spent every day trying to please him, or now thinking of him hurting you. You couldn’t even recognize yourself anymore.
“Morning,” Drew smiled over his shoulder. “Did you sleep okay?”
You nodded sleepily, rubbing your eye as you held back a yawn. He passed you a mug of steaming hot coffee, an attempt at latte art on the top making your lips curl up. Your eyes drifted to a blanket on the couch. Drew must have left the room once you fell asleep.
He knew you were vulnerable, and he didn’t want to take advantage of you. Didn’t want there to be any expectations or precedent for you sleeping in his bed. He didn’t want to use this as a way to insert himself in your life romantically. You needed space. Out of respect, he gently slipped out of the bed after you fell asleep, taking his place on the couch.
You sat on the couch with your coffee mug, tucking your feet under you. You let out a heavy sigh as the first sip warmed down your throat.
“Are you hungry?” Drew asked. “I can make you something.
You shook your head quickly. “I don’t think I can eat right now.”
Drew nodded solemnly, but told you that you couldn’t go the whole day without eating. At some point, he was going to make you something, no choice.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now,” you said, a lump forming in the back of your throat. “I don’t know how to face him after…”
Drew sat down beside you, leaving a comfortable space. He was treating you like you were fragile, and maybe you were. You appreciated how gentle he was being, even if the behavior usually would anger you. You never liked being treated differently, or like you were delicate.
“You can stay here as long as you need,” he told you. “And when you’re ready, I can go with you.”
“Maybe I’m just overreacting,” you sighed. “I probably deserved it, and he’s probably feeling guilty.”
“Stop,” Drew whispered, placing his hand gently on your shoulder. “You didn’t deserve that. No one deserves to be treated that way. I’m not saying this for my own benefit but you can’t go back to him.”
You nodded, knowing he was right. You always thought it would be easy to walk away in a situation like this, you didn’t realize all the nuance that came with it. Your own feelings of shame, of failure.
“We’re married,” you sighed, closing your eyes and tilting your head back. “It hasn’t even been that long and I’m already in a failed marriage.”
“You didn’t fail anything, y/n,” Drew said. “He failed you as a husband. You did everything right. He doesn’t deserve you.”
“I know,” you admitted, agreeing with him. You knew Drew was right, he always was. He was always the voice of reason, the little angel on your shoulder saying all the right things.
“I think I should go over there,” you uttered after a few moments of silence. “At least to get some of my stuff. I can’t just wear your clothes.”
“I’ll go with you,” he said.
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅ ⋅•⋅⊰∙
Drew pulled up to your home, which suddenly had a cold aura around it. This wasn’t home anymore. It never would be again. You spotted Derek’s car in the driveway, meaning he was likely still home. You wondered if he went looking for you last night, if he called anyone to see where you were. Or did he just go to bed soundly, not even thinking of you?
Dread filled your body as you looked at your house from the passenger window. How were you supposed to face him?
“I don’t think I can go in there,” you mumbled, your voice laced with fear, shaking slightly. “Maybe we should come back when he’s not home.”
“Want me to go in?” he asked. “Just tell me what you need and I’ll grab it for you.”
“I don’t think it’s safe,” you replied. “He’s been giving me a hard time…about you lately. He’s going to get angry and think I cheated or something.”
Drew clenched his jaw, anger fuelling him. The audacity Derek had to be jealous of him when Derek was the one who manipulated everyone to get what he wanted. Drew had a bad taste in his mouth at the thought that they were ever friends. Now that Derek hurt you, there was no going back. No pretending.
“If he’s actually sorry, he won’t say a word,” Drew told you. “I’ll be fast, we’ll just get the essentials today and we can come back when he’s not here, like you said.”
You finally agreed, somewhat reluctantly. You didn’t want Drew to go in there alone, but you had to admit you needed some of your belongings. You needed clothes, stuff to take a shower, your phone back. You listed a few things off to Drew, explaining to him where he could find everything. He nodded quickly, telling you everything was going to be fine before he hopped out of the car, crossing the imaginary yellow tape onto your property.
Drew rapped his knuckles on the door, anxiously awaiting who would appear on the other side. The door opened to reveal Derek, looking disheveled. His hair was all over the place, a white tank top on with a stain on the front, his breath smelling like booze.
“Do you know where y/n is?” he asked frantically, not noticing you in the car on the street.
“I do,” Drew answered stoically. “I came here to pick up a few of her things.”
“What?” Derek’s voice had bite to it. “She sent her little puppy for her? Too much of a wimp to face me herself?”
Drew had told himself he would remain calm, but something broke inside him. Hearing Derek still speaking that way about you after what he had done. He couldn’t tolerate it. Drew grabbed him by his shirt and pushed him on the wall.
“You touch her again I’ll fucking kill you,” Drew sneered. “Don’t call her, don’t look for her, it’s done.”
“She can tell me that herself,” Derek chuckled. “You just think there’s hope for you. She’s my wife, Drew. I don’t care how whipped you are for her.”
“It’s not about me,” Drew said, shaking his head. “It’s not about me, or about how you lied to me our entire friendship, lied to her. You crossed a like, Derek. You were a piece of shit before but now…you’re just a monster.”
Drew could barely finish his sentence when he was blinded by the punch to his face. He groaned as he lifted his hand to his eye, his vision white and searing pain shooting through his face. Stay calm.
“Nice, Derek,” Drew nodded. “You gonna hit her like that next time? Real great man you are.”
“Don’t talk to me about my wife.”
They didn’t notice you at the door, letting yourself in. You had started to get anxious sitting in the car. You were worried about Drew. It was time to be brave, and to stand up for yourself. You gasped by the scene you were met with. Drew’s left eye was discolored, bright crimson leaking from his nostril.
“Derek,” you breathed. “What did you do?”
“Babe,” Derek smiled, rushing over to you, placing his hands on your shoulder. You noticed the blood stained on his knuckles. Drew’s blood. “I am so sorry, I didn’t mean anything I- can you just come home to me? We can figure this out.”
“You punched him,” was all you could manage to choke out.
“Seriously?” he scoffed. “I’m trying to fix things and you’re focused on him? Here we go again with your little boyfriend.”
“There’s nothing to fix, Derek,” you said sternly, removing his hands from your shoulders and taking a step back. “I’m grabbing some things, and I’m leaving. You’re never going to touch me again.”
“You’re leaving me for him, right? That’s what this is?” he asked. “You’re just looking for the easy way out. I knew you were cheating on me.”
Drew stepped in to defend you, but you raised your hand at him. You knew there was a high likelihood Derek would hit him again if he had the opportunity.
“This has nothing to do with me and Drew,” you said calmly. “I was loyal to you, and a great wife. This is all your own doing. You’ll never be even a fraction of the man Drew is.”
Venom dripped in your words. You knew comparing him to Drew would hurt him, and maybe that was the point. He was constantly in competition, trying to one-up Drew, or to get you to think negatively of your friend. You were tired. Derek’s face twisted in anger, but you walked away before he had the chance to retort. You rushed to your room, quickly shoving what you needed into a bag. You felt dizzy, unable to process any of the events that had unfolded. When you came back to the foyer, Drew was by the door. His hand on the doorknob, waiting for you.
“Let’s go, Drew,” you whispered. “Goodbye Derek, don’t contact me. You can talk to my lawyer.”
With that, you were out the door, your heartbeat pounding in your ears as you sat back down in Drew’s car. He slid in the drivers seat, hissing slightly as he brought his hand up to his eye.
“I can’t believe he hit you,” you muttered, tears filling your eyes, but not quite falling. Just teetering on the edge. “I shouldn’t have let you go in there.”
“It was worth it,” he said, giving you a weak smile. “I’d take the hit a thousand times over if it meant he’d never hurt you again.”
The tears spilled over, but you couldn’t help but smile anyway. “My hero.”
The tension in the car was heavy. You were unstable, feeling so many things at once. When you leaned in towards Drew, he placed a hand on your thigh, his blue eyes boring into yours.
“Take your time,” he whispered, tucking a stray hair behind your ear. “You’ve been through so much. I wouldn’t feel right taking advantage of this situation after everything you’ve been through.”
“As much as I want to. I’ve been thinking about kissing you for most of my life it feels like,” he continued, letting out an airy chuckle. “But I’m not going anywhere. So take your time.”
More tears spilled down your cheeks. Drew’s slightly calloused thumb brushed them away. He leaned forward, his warm lips connecting with your forehead. The warmth lingered as he pulled away, making you shiver.
“Let’s go home.”
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅ ⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅ ⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘
taglist: @percysley @snowtargaryen
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psychemochanight · 16 days ago
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Honestly, even if I love the new interpretation of Dick as the "angry Robin" that we have these days, sometimes it feels bad that you can't talk about a version of Dick as Robin that isn't like that without getting people saying things like "that's not Dick, he's the angry one, the bloodthirsty one" and... What?
It takes away a lot of depth from the character when people only think of that when talking about Robin!Dick, when, since always, Dick was, quite possibly, one of the best written characters, and one of those that has more nuances to make him a completely human character, not only in the sense of not having superpowers, but of being able to empathize with him.
There are many versions of the story, but the most widely accepted version is that Dick lost his parents at the age of eight, watching them fall because they sabotaged their act, an act Dick probably saw many times, one he knew for sure his parents would never fail... Until it failed, and through no fault of their own.
Dick was a little boy who grew up in a loving family (as far as we know, I still think they were strict, but not necessarily bad parents... We'll talk about the Court of Owls later), and from one second to the next, all of that ended. Even if Bruce was there for him, things obviously weren't the same anymore, they never would be again.
Although many have the idea that Dick escaped from youth center to kill Zucco, in the original stories Dick didn't even know yet about him, at least not that much to know what he really did; but he wanted to escape from juvenile so as not to lose his values, so as not to stop being who he is, who his parents taught him to be.
Even in the lines where he DOES say he wants to kill Zucco, in most cases, when push comes to shove, he wants to prevent Zucco's death. There are some moments where he even confesses that he didn't want Zucco to die, he just wanted justice for his parents.
People now see Dick as the Robin who only saw misfortune and was an absolute menace to society, and while, yes, Dick was an absolute menace, it was only to the villains, who heard a little boy laughing at them before beating the shit out of them. Plus, even as a child he was a master manipulator, both for enemies and allies.
But what about the rest? Robin was supposed to be the light where Batman was the darkness. He was the one who comforted scared civilians when Batman couldn't. He was the sensitivity that Batman cannot afford to show.
Dick Grayson was the one who saved Batman from losing himself in the same darkness that he himself was making his only way of life, and this is something that Alfred has pointed out before. It is thanks to Dick that Batman stopped being the ruthless "hero" he was becoming. Damn, he was the one who softened Alfred's heart in the first place too.
This was the Robin that Superman saw as worthy of carrying the mantle of Nightwing, whom he saw as someone who could represent hope itself.
Bruce didn't start smiling just because of the other Robins like many people now believe, no. Dick was the first to make him smile again, the one who opened the doors for the others.
Dick was always kind and tender-hearted, always joy where there was only devastation.
Even if he was the living nightmare of villains, he was still that cheerful child who wanted to avoid the pain of others. The boy who inspired other heroes, not only because of his skills, but because of his heart.
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Dick is a character who, while he is now more recognized as Nightwing than as Robin (which doesn't bother me at all, because that was always his goal when he became an independent hero), he still has a history that people seem to increasingly forget about and pigeonhole his development into something... Flat.
Were there times when Dick had more anger and pain than any other feeling in him? Yes, absolutely YES. But this stage is mostly in his Discowing years, not of Robin as such (I'm not saying there weren't such moments, but there aren't as many as people describe now), or as some animated series showed (I love these series, even if they turned Dick into a feral child who is unable to smile, lol)
Again. I LOVE Dick's portrayal as a feral child and absolute menace to society (which he was), but I also LOVE when artists, writers, and the entire fandom itself appreciates the different nuances of his personality, from his ability to laugh despite the misfortunes in his life, to his sadness that never ceased to be a part of him, until the moments where he could only feel rage and pain and felt that the world was only darkness, unable to see the colors that emerged from the light he projected by himself.
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Look at him, he's so cute <3
Does anyone care about this yap? No, but I wanted to let out what I've been repeating in my head for days because people on tiktok have me fed up HAHA
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onesonlee · 2 months ago
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Honestly, I don’t understand some of the criticisms against Martha. I’ve watched several videos, and it’s always the same comment: people blame her for falling in love with the Doctor. But let’s be real—she’s not the only one who developed feelings for him. Many companions have been in the same situation, and no one seems to have a problem with them.
Take Rose, for example. She not only fell in love with the Doctor, but their relationship was framed as a romantic storyline. River Song is literally married to him, though their dynamic is much more mature and balanced. Clara shares an incredibly deep emotional bond with the Doctor; while it’s not always romantic, she’s willing to do anything to stay by his side. Even companions like Sarah Jane or Madame de Pompadour had feelings for him.
So why is Martha singled out and criticized for something that’s a recurring theme in the series? What bothers me even more is that people also criticize her for being jealous of Rose. Yet, Rose herself showed jealousy—like in School Reunion, when she was clearly uncomfortable with Sarah Jane’s history with the Doctor. Jealousy is not unique to Martha.
I feel like Martha is judged much more harshly than other companions. Maybe it’s because her relationship with the Doctor was unrequited, which made her more emotionally vulnerable. She felt invisible to him, especially compared to Rose, whom he still idolized. But is that really a reason to hold it against her? Her jealousy is a human reaction, an understandable response to a painful and frustrating situation.
In my opinion, these criticisms lack nuance. Martha is a strong, brilliant woman who eventually recognizes her worth and chooses to leave the Doctor—a bold and empowering decision that few companions have made. She deserves to be appreciated for her entire journey, not reduced to these unfair criticisms.
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threepandas · 3 months ago
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Bad End: No Good Turn
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I rushed to catch up, as I saw the party leaving. Advisor Leukippos was a hopelessly busy man after all. Seeming to drift, with elegant unhurried steps, from appointment to appointment at a somehow impossible speed. It was near impossible to actually catch him NOT in the middle of something. And believe me, I'd been TRYING!
"Advisor! Respected One! Please wait!" I did not so much... shout (as that would be RUDE. One must NEVER be RUDE around the Yanderians. They take GREAT exception. I've looked them up. Have even started taking classes on the subject.) as sorta? Pitched my voice to carry? Kinda the verbal equivalent of that awkward half jog, not run, people do.
My Yanderian pronunciation is god awful. Probably butchering the words, since I can't, you know, actually HEAR any of the nuanced under or over tones. The slight inflections. Yanderian is a language of SONG. Poetry. Composing some of the most beautiful audible art in the known universe. Some of the pieces I've heard? Are like whale song made of starlight. Birdsong made of thunder.
And that's the RECORDINGS! Which are said to miss SO MUCH of the in person nuances, due to technological limitations!
I, being a human, literally don't have the philosophy to even speak the language properly. Never will.
Not the voice box, not the HEARING, and certainly not the lung capacity. But I wanted to at least try, you know? If nothing else, maybe learn the language. There WERE after all, auditory aids for Yanderians with ear injuries. And! I theoretically? Could contact the company? To see if they would be willing to design a set of nuance readers for a human sized head! Adjusted for human hearing and visual ranges!
To be honest? I just was waiting to be able to send my message in Yanderian first. To prove that it wouldn't be a waste of time. Nuance readers were a time consuming project after all! Had to be customized to the life form wearing them.
Leukippos and his entourage had stopped, turned. Some fully, some only half way, to glance in bemused and startled confusion at the (no doubt strange) little creature trying to hacksaw her way through a sentence in their language. None the less, they DID stop for me, for which I was grateful. Their people were fuckin TALL, man. Long legs. Holy SHIT long legs. G-gimme a second! Gotta...! Breathe...!
I could practically feel their amusement from behind the assorted fans. Eyes curving up to match hidden grins.
"No drink to spill upon me, little one? How shall I recognize you now?" Comes teasing song speech from the man I've been trying, for DAYS, to catch outside of any one of his many responsibilities. I think? That particular rumbling quality? Means "playfully said, not insulting you?"
His body language certainly suggests it.
The laugh that forces its way out of my body? Is the sort that you make, while contemplating throwing yourself into the fucking SEA or a bottomless pit, after dumping your breakfast on like... a world leader.
Because I Basically DID.
Which? Ha ha... oh god, kill me. They wear FUCKING WHITE. The higher the rank? The MORE WHITE! (It's the color of Divinity and Honor! Which DOESNT FUCKING HELP! Oh GOD, does this mean what I did was SACRILEGIOUS TOO?!) Nothing but pale, easily and irreversibly stain-able colors, as far as the eye can see! And I accidentally? Dumped my shitty break room "whatever has caffeine and is still in stock" on him!
FIVE TIMES.
I've literally GIVEN UP open air caffeinated drinks because of this! They are the devil! Evil! Trying to ruin both my sanity AND my life! I don't CARE if canned coffee is more expensive! At least I can't DUMP IT ON A DIGNITARY.
The worst part? The ABSOLUTE WORST? Was how understanding and calm Leukippos was, while I lost my shit. It wasn't even MY outfit. He was the one covered in probably still burning coffee! As I hyperventilated and blubbered apologies and cried at him. Hair a mess! Sleep deprived as FUCK because my boss is an asshole. Well... WAS an asshole.
He came over to yell at me.
Did not go well for him. What with that being Rude™ and me having already spilled the beans that the whole incident was CAUSED by me being overworked. Sleep deprivation slows reaction times, you know?
But then... but THEN! It? Kept?? HAPPENING!!!
Turn a corner? Bump! Right down his front. Leaving a lift? Bump! Splash! There goes my cup! Oh but what about a SAFETY cup? I, like FOOL, naively think! Ha ha...
I nearly concuss him! Somehow! Right over the edge of some railing! Slams into the ground at his feet. Nearly hitting him from THREE STORIES UP, right on the head! Pretty sure the sound I made? Was just as painful to HEAR as it was to rip out of my own throat in panic.
No More Cups! Cups are BAD. This? Anti-cup having household.
We'll drink from fucking SPOONS if we have too! Bowls!
NO CUPS!
And every? Single?? Time??? Leukippos not only stops, in the middle of his unspeakably busy schedule, to calm down and reassure this random ass low ranking alien, who's dumped potentially toxic or dangerous unknown alien foodstuffs, just ALL over his incredibly expensive clothes? He's KIND about it! Polite! Makes light hearted little jokes and says not to worry!
It would be one thing, if he was an asshole about it? But!? He's so politely understanding instead? You just end up standing there. Staring in HORROR. At the slowly spreading stains, on that beautiful, delicate, lovely embroidered white fabric. Clothes that are HAND CRAFTED. Take months if not YEARS to make!!! And you just? Feel your soul... die inside.
Kill me. Fucking END me. I deserve it.
Oh my god.... What Have I Done?
But, hey! If he wants to turn my Horrifying Drink Based Trauma Crimes into a cute friendship meet cute? I'm so unbelievably down for that. Literally ANYTHING so I stop feeling like I'm constantly setting this man's ceremonial robes on fire in front of him, then having him ask if I'M okay or need anything.
Speaking of which? Excitedly I reach into my messages bag, asking if he remembers the over robe he lent me. Another victim to our coffee attacks, the over robe was of a style that traditionally hung open, so it only slightly got hit. His main robe suffering the worst of it. Most importantly, though? The over robe is the main decorative one! Heavy on the subtle off white on white embroidery.
It creates a kind of magical looking effect as the light hits it, it's hard to explain.
But! I got coffee'd too, right? Right down my front! So what does he do? Leukippos slides off his over robe and puts it on me. So I won't be walking around in state that would get me socially embarrassed. Cause a scandal. Still not sure if it's a Yanderian or a "their region of the galaxy" thing.
However, that? Left me with a beautiful, BEAUTIFUL and quickly staining white over robe. Not Today, Satan! So I looked up how to save it. Rushed it to a professional cleaners. They kept it from getting worse but couldn't help me, due to the unique fibers the robe was made off, but knew who COULD and sent me on my way.
I ended up in a breathing mask in little Kkbrixxtttishky. And I know, okay? It's mostly oxygen in that dome. Yeah, it IS, but there are enough fatally toxic trace elements in the atmosphere that unless you have a REALLY good filter mask? It's just safer to go full breathing mask. It's not fucking "paranoid" or "racist" or whatever garbage they'll tell you.
Half those fuckers saying that? Wouldn't even TRAVEL there if their LIVES depended on it! For ALL sorts of VERY reasonable excuses, I'm SURE. Bastards. One breathing mask and an uncomfortable decontamination shower between domes is all it takes! It's barely a few minutes delay between domes. Then you're in!
And? The whole area is beautiful. Everyone is super nice, deeply kind (especially when you get lost... like... A LOT). And oh my god? Do you know how badly I wish I could eat the food without, you know, dying? (God those little pie thingies looked so fucking GOOD...)
Anyway! Long and short of it? The Kkbrixxtttishky cleaner knew how to clean the robe! Even stored it in an air tight container so it could be decontaminated for my safe handling. They? Were so sympathetic? Shared my absolute horror at the situation. We're and ARE an absolute gem. Swear to God I plan to recommend them to anyone who can breathe that grade of atmosphere.
It was worth every unit.
Pulling out a clean, neatly folded robe to return? Feels like a triumph.
"The robe of which I gave you, clean once more." He says, recognizing it on sight. The smile behind his fan seems to grow, from what charmed expression I can see of his face, as he steps closer. "Such care, in trusted hands, this robe has found. Little one, you have gone to great lengths. No easy thing, the cleansing of such cloth. And to return it? None would think you less, should you have kept a gift..."
The songspeech has a distinctly warm tone to it, more then the already fond tone that had been there before. Heck yeah~ Knew it! I KNEW I did the right thing! And besides, it WAS the right thing. I tell him as much. He didn't really GIVE me his robe, he leant me it to help me save face.
The Galactic Senate is unspeakably vast. He was running the risk of never seeing it again but did it ANYWAY. Just so I wouldn't be seen walking around covered in a mess. I was just sorry I couldn't fix the OTHER robes my clumsiness had ruined.
"Virtuous little one~" Leukippos says sings, the nuanced tones, which I could only barely hear, suggesting his words were meant to be both teasing and praise. He driftes closer. His other hand elegantly raising to join the first. Both gripping his fan in an... almost coy sort of way? Ah, I'm probably reading that one wrong. Still learning, after all...
"Won't you join me? A walk with good company, is a pleasant one indeed. I have not had chance to speech casually with you before. We would have sent you correspondence; In accordance with tradition and regard, however..."
Leukippos trailed off. Politely not saying the obvious. Which was that it was fuckin impossible to find me in the G.S. directory, since I was effectively a Nobody, and you'd have to know Going IN which Embassy I worked for. Even then, it'd be rough as hell, dragging me name out of that thing. I was the afterthought of an afterthought, that the forgettable once might of had.
But hey, it pays the bills.
I grin. Of course, I'd love to join him. If I'm not getting in the way! The robe is handed off to one of the smiling members of the entourage. Tucked away somewhere. And I am swallowed into the center of the group. Holy SHIT, they are tall. Like? I knew that. On average? Yanderians were about a foot and a half taller then humans... but STILL? I think these guys might be tall for Yanderians? I feel dainty. Wild.
Leukippos helps with my pronunciation, as we walk. Recommends a few new up and coming artists who's works sound fascinating. Distracted by it all, I don't notice our path meandering away from what I know is his next appointment, and towards his office. At least, I don't until we're alone.
His fan lower gently from his face, revealing handsome features.
I startle, don't know where to look. Uuuuuuuh?! No, wait, what!? No. See, I REMEMBER my basics of Yanderian etiquette block, from the sociology lessons I'm taking. He's not allowed to DO that! He can't DO THAT! Illegal! Naked! Why is he FACE NAKED!? That's like taking your SHIRT OFF! Fine around close friends and family. But JUST around them! ONLY them.
Going 0 to 150 REAL FAST, my guy!
Sputtering, I spin around. I saw NOTHING. Sexy lil fangs WHOMS'T? Ha ha! Jawline whaaaat? No, no! I'm actually BLIND. As of just a bit ago! Terrible, really. Should probably see a doctor! Now actually! Yeah. Now sounds good. I'm just gonna-!!
Softly, elegantly, like a dancer's pose, an arm in billowing white reaches over my should to delicately press against the door. It's the old fashioned kind. Swinging, not slide, made of wood. Must of cost more then I make in a year. The hand presses one finger at a time, a precise little sequence of tap tap tap.
Each finger accompanied by the softest sound of sharp nail tips.
I am suddenly hyperaware. H..How did he move that-?
The friendly atmosphere, the comfort, seems to have been sucked out of the room as thoroughly as an open airlock straight to the void. I am alone with a man I do not... now that I think about it... actually know. I FELT like I knew him. We keep meeting. I've been learning about his people. But do I know HIM? Personally? The nature of HIS character?
I... I do not.
And he is a very, VERY powerful man.
My eyes are locked on the hand, gently holding the door shut. I haven't tried my strength against his. Yet. But the numbers are in my head. The odds. Cold sweat prickles and beads along my skin, my breathe shallow, as I stand utterly frozen. It's a beautifully manicured hand, I note. Strong wrist, there a hint of true muscle, under all those robes.
He smells of trees and musk, spices and flowers not native to earth. The sleeve flowing over my shoulder is dangerously soft. His existence a pillar of heat, right behind me, not touching... but close enough. He seems perfectly content to wait me out. My mind is static.
"We fall in love quite easily, did you know? Oh little one..." His words are sighed confession, sung like falling leaves. Another hand comes up, on the other side of me. "My people greatest folly. Our weakness, our despair. Oh little one, we love too much. It frightens people. How quickly and deeply we fall..."
Why was he telling me that? I... I know the most obvious reason why he MIGHT be. B-but surely not! Ha ha. No way. C-can't be! So Why Is He TELLING ME THAT?!
"Courtship requires planning of course. Research. 'Meet-Cutes' I believe they are titled? Did you enjoy them? Were they proper? I'm to take you on outings next, yes? Flowers and material goods. To prove I can provide and know you well, and ah~"
There was mouth pressed to the nape of my neck, breathing deep against my skin. I could feel the almost lazy hunter's grin, splitting those lips into a smirk. Sharp teeth and hot breathe, dangerously close and already lusting to leave behind marks.
"And I DO know you so well. I have made certain of that, my little one. Dearest little one. Jewel of my heart, soon to be keeper of my name. I will court you in your ways, then I will court you in mine. Our wedding will be beautiful."
My heart was racing. I had to get out of here. Go and never, EVER come back. Oh god, at this distance? There was no WAY he couldn't hear everything. I had to lie! Do something! Anything! Just get out of this room. Back to Earth's embassy!
I... I couldn't move. Afraid. I was afraid.
He's so big. So much stronger then me. I have to get out.
"You shall such peace and love on Yanderia, darling. The other partners will rejoice for a new friend and you will be welcomed. Isn't that lovely? There is so much we do not show outsiders. But you, little one?"
"You will have the rest of your life to learn it ALL~"
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myun-saidthoughts · 4 months ago
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12th House Synastry: The Darker Themes That May Manifest
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I made a post about Neptune and 12th house synastry awhile ago (here is the link to that: Understanding 12th house synastry)
In that post, I explained how this synastry can manifest between partners, but I didn't discuss the darker side of it or discuss why those darker themes are present in the first place.
To start off, some of the more common dark themes associated with this synastry include deception, lies, addiction, and hidden agendas. This synastry also can indicate being the other woman in a relationship or one party may have a commitment to another person that the other party isn't aware of (such as one partner is married, engaged, or involved with someone else). If there is 8th house synastry involved (like Pluto aspecting inner planets or 8th house overlays), power dynamics may emerge, with one person holding an authoritative position. Age gaps or factors such as work hierarchies, status, reputation, social circles, or cultural influences may also prevent the two parties from publicly showcasing their relationship.
The reason these dark themes manifest is influenced by many factors, the primary one being the person's core nature. If they are spiritually awakened, aware, compassionate, or empathetic, the themes mentioned above are less likely to arise within the connection. Ultimately, who a person is at their core will dictate how these connections manifest.
I have read many 12th house/Neptune synastry stories, and one major red flag that stands out is what is often 'hidden' within the relationship. While this synastry can evoke profound, otherworldly feelings, there’s a risk that the person you’re pouring your love into may only be a projection of your perception of them. This is tied to how you view yourself, your understanding of love, and your willingness to be vulnerable.
This synastry naturally clouds and confuses the relationship dynamic, if you have natal 12th house placements, Pisces placements or Neptune aspecting your own inner planets then the influence of falling into the web of what you think is, instead of what actually is; is more likely.
For example, the reason you may be drawn to, influenced by, or dealing with these dark themes has to do with the level of commitment or love you're ready to process. You may consciously state that you desire a deep love, but if you look at your past patterns, you might notice that you often fall for the people you claim you want to stay away from. You may say, 'I deserve better,' or recognize that the type of love you're offering is not being reciprocated. While you may be consciously aware of this, you still find yourself in connections that reinforce the image of love you say you want to change.
This has to do with the fact that there are still subconscious self beliefs that are operating within you; these beliefs may be so deeply rooted in your subconscious to the point where you are not even aware of it, and the reason why these dark themes are able to manifest within your life is because the people you are choosing are reiterating the self belief you're "comfortable" with. I say comfortable because it's what feels known within you, this person creates a feeling within you and though they may logically be wrong for you in so many objective manners, the fact that you can feel drawn towards them is what is causing you to want them, especially if you struggle with emotional vulnerability, or if you find it hard to actually form feelings towards another. This person is (in essence) allowing you to form feelings because their presence/actions reaffirm the same self beliefs you've been dealing with throughout your life.
This type of synastry even becomes more nuanced when the 8th house is involved, oftentimes if you are not aware of your own self inner wounds this type or interplay can cause such chaos. This is especially true if you are choosing someone who wants to use you, or if they have their own inner battles that they ignore. In essence to stay aware of the connection at hand:
Look at them at face value instead at the value that you give them.
Stay aware and acknowledge the fact that their own actions and choices act as a true unit that showcases their true feelings towards you.
Understand that even though you're able to understand or empathize with their struggles doesn't mean you should justify their actions.
The feeling you feel with them is already sitting within you; if that wasn't the case you wouldn't be drawn to them in the first place. Therefore that scarce mindset where you may feel like you need them to allow romance in is only a facade that keeps you at a distance of receiving reciprocal love.
This again is an extreme case but I wanted to make a note.
Another thing I want to note is that with this synastry, you might feel an intense draw toward the other person, as if you’ve known them in a past life (because how could someone create such deep longing within you if that wasn't the case?) This might create the connection to be very thought-provoking, and the longing you experience can manifest instantly in moments when you're not with them; this might lead you to believe that you share a deep, once-in-a-lifetime connection. However, the person you are drawn to may actually be a projection of your own desires for emotional fulfillment, especially if they are an objectively lost soul struggling with personal battles such as addiction or ongoing affairs.
The reason why individuals often state that 12th house and Neptune synastry can indicate past life connections is that this type of synastry evokes similar feelings of longing, wishes, and desires. In my experience with both, I understand why people associate Neptune/12th house synastry with past life connections. However, this synastry often creates a sense of longing while leaving more questions than answers.
With past life connections, you may instantly feel a deep longing for someone you’ve just met—their eyes seem familiar, and their touch feels sacred. In contrast, when Neptune and the 12th house are involved, there’s a crucial difference. Instead of a sense of certainty, there’s more wondering, thinking, analyzing, and fixating. You might convince yourself that you know them by creating intense, otherworldly feelings within you.
In genuine past life connections, there’s an unexplainable, intuitive sense that you’ve met before, without needing proof or logical understanding. You feel deeply connected without questioning it. This is a key difference that more people should recognize. If there are more questions than an immediate intuitive knowing, the likelihood of it being a past life connection is much less.
In summary, the main difference with Neptune/12th house synastry vs past life connections is there's a "without a doubt" mentality that you've known them before. The main reason why theres an association with 12th house synastry and past life connections is because this synastry genuinely mimics the same deep rooted feeling of longing or what if scenario's. This synastry causes you to create feelings within where it'll feel like you two have been together before but that doesn't mean these feelings are rooted in the deep seated knowing of "I've met you before" like true past life connections are like.
(which is why it's very difficult to differentiate and I can understand why but within, you will have moments with them and if out of no where you say "this has happened before" or "it's so easy with you" or if 5 hours feel like 10 minutes, then the chances of them being a part of your past life is more likely; and you can feel this way without even having any intense 12th house synastry with them, you don't have to have 12th house synastry with someone to showcase a past life connection).
That said, there can be times when you may be dealing with 12th house or Neptune synastry and you may consider yourself an open or healthy lover, yet still encounter these themes. You might fall for someone who isn't who they appear to be. Stories like 'We have been dating for two years, and he is an addict' or 'I am engaged, but he has another wife' illustrate this. These examples are extreme, but I believe can occur because this synastry can cloud judgment. That's why it's important to evaluate the relationship at its core rather than relying solely on your perceptions.
If you find yourself dealing with these themes or have dealt with them in the past, it's important to recognize that the other partner may not have any real love for you. This is why the 12th house is often associated with 'hidden enemies.' These individuals may not be hiding their true selves, but in your perception, the person they actually are is someone you haven't been able to see. Or in another sense this individual just held and hid parts of them from you, and because of how clouded this synastry can be, falling victim towards these connections is more likely (but like I always say entire natal charts and who the person is at their core dictates the severity of what can occur within these connections).
Another intriguing pattern in this synastry is the tendency to be drawn to darker themes, often finding yourself attracted to someone who seems in need of saving or fixing. The spiritual connection you feel may arise from a deep longing to help them, as their internal struggles compel you to give endlessly. Their internal struggles causes you to give and give which ultimately keeps you at arms distance within the connection. Especially since they can't formally give you the same love you are giving them, and this stems from the fact a part of you doesn't believe you deserve the type of love you fantasize or long for. That being said, the dreams you have about them or with them, and the coincidences that keep occurring could very well be reflections of the emotional fulfillment you desire, and doesn't paint the fact that you two are "meant to be"
This pattern can also be linked to unrequited love. When this occurs, it mirrors what I’ve mentioned before: you find yourself falling for someone you can't truly have. You become infatuated with the person you imagine them to be, rather than who they actually are. You create scenarios in your mind where you’re together, longing for a connection that has never existed. All of these patterns stem from a fear of embracing reciprocal love.
It feels easier to desire someone rather than have them; it's more comfortable to long for the idea of a partner than to actively choose someone who can choose you in return. Such dynamics are more prevalent when you struggle with emotional closeness and vulnerability. Selecting someone whom you subconsciously know won’t or can’t choose you can feel like a safer option.
I explore this concept further in my original 12th house synastry post, so feel free to check that out for more insights.
The main point of this post is to remain aware of your own wounds, self-undoing patterns, and emotional fears regarding romance. The self-giving nature you choose to engage in can create a block to receiving the kind of love you’re capable of giving to others, often stemming from a fear of being in a reciprocal loving relationship. If you stay aware and offer yourself inner healing then the chances of falling in relationships where these dark themes can occur is less likely.
Note: I believe that if you have strong Pisces placements, 12th house natal placements, or Neptune aspecting your inner planets, as well as a broken attachment style or a tumultuous relationship with your mother, you may be more susceptible to experiencing these dark themes in your reality. If you fear love yet simultaneously long for it, these factors can be significant indicators. Conversely, if you do not have these characteristics, the intensity of such themes is less likely.
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inkmonster21 · 4 months ago
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I have a request for Noa. Where human reader has been with Eagle Clan for a while. And when a male echo comes and stays for a bit, the reader gets close to him, and Noa doesn't like it. But the reader is only doing it because she thinks Noa wouldn't like a human. But Noa confesses to the reader that he does like her.
I hope that wasn't complicated and it makes sense. 😌
🤣This… I enjoyed this a lot 🤍 thank you for your request! I hope I met your expectations!
AN: my dyslexic ass just reread the request and I totally see where I missed HUMAN MALE and not ape male. My bad y’all! 🥲
~
I Can Do Anything Better Than He Can
Noa x human!reader!
~o0o~
You had travelled along side Mae on the journey to find the divice that could help humans speak again. Help us communicate with others around the fallen world ran by the apes. A lifetime of indoctrination had shaped your perception of apes. You had been taught to fear them, to see them as the invaders who had taken over what once belonged to humans. The idea of understanding or even coexisting with them was a foreign and unwelcome concept in your mind.
Or so you thought.
When the dam exploded and the water rushed in, Mae life you to fend for yourself. Your escape from the flooding vault was a harrowing ordeal, the water rushing in and threatening to consume you. In the chaotic moment, you slipped from the hold you had, falling into the churning depths below, seemingly destined to perish. But then, like an unexpected lifeline, a strong hand grasped your own, pulling you upwards and away from the dangerous current. It was Noa, his grip steady and sure, who had saved you from certain drowning. “I have you.” You still remember his words. No doubt about them.
As you sit alone in your hut, the reality of your current situation sinks in. The very concepts of wrong and right have been turned on their head. Everything you were taught, the doctrines of fearing and hating the apes, seem foreign now. You are now living amongst them, coexisting and interacting with them every day. The realization is both liberating and confusing, a swirling mix of emotions that leaves you questioning everything you once believed to be true.
These creatures, the very beings you had been taught to fear and distrust, have shown nothing but care and kindness towards you. The realization leaves you with a sense of unease, a nagging sensation that everything you had been taught was a lie.
Time had passed, and your life within the eagle clan had become a comfortable and familiar routine. The elders treated you with respect, recognizing your intelligence and resourcefulness. Meanwhile, the younger members of the clan were drawn to your human ways, finding joy in the playful games and activities you brought to their lives. You had found a place for yourself among them, your presence accepted with openness and curiosity.
Noa observes from a distance as you interact with the young apes, a soft smile on his face. There's a gentle affection in his gaze as he takes in the sight of you laughing and playing with the children of his kind. He watches the way you engage with them, effortlessly switching between human and ape gestures and mannerisms. It's a sight that fills him with a mixture of warmth and wonder.
In the countless interactions he had with you, Noa discovered that he was beginning to distinguish your individuality from the collective whole of human society. Your openness and willingness to share your knowledge and experiences intrigued him, sparking a deeper fascination. He found himself not just interested in the history and culture of humans, but more specifically, in the intricacies of you as a person. He longed to understand the nuances of your thoughts, feelings, and perspectives in ways that extended beyond the general human experience. This new fascination both excited and puzzled him.
“You are staring… again.” Anaya teases Noa as they sit together, their duties done for the day. Noa snaps out of his thoughts, realizing that he's been caught once again staring at you. He looks away, a hint of embarrassment in his eyes. "I was not staring… I am watching," he mutters, defensively.
Anaya shoots him a knowing smile, a sly glimmer in her eyes. "Oh, just… watching, hm?" she replies, her tone playful. "You do that lot." Noa huffs, “Echo is here to help teach. I watch. I learn.” Anaya laughs, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "You tell yourself that, Noa," he teases, clearly not buying his excuse. "We both know… something more than just watching and learning.”
Noa struggles to deny the truth, his efforts to repress his feelings proving futile. No matter how much he tries to push them aside, they keep returning with a constant insistence. Every time he looks at you, every time he hears your laughter, the feelings only grow stronger and more intense.
You make a swift escape from the energetic young apes, seeking shelter behind Noa. You giggle, breathless and flushed, your body pressed lightly against his as you use him as a shield. “Help me.” You beg Noa.
The young apes follow you with quick steps, their playful energy undiminished. They spot you behind Noa, their eyes lighting up with excitement as they close the distance. Noa stands his ground, attempting to block the young ones from reaching you. Noa grins at the young apes, his tone playful yet authoritative. "Go on," he says, coaxing the young ones to leave you be. "You have all played with her all evening…Let her rest." The young apes begrudgingly obey his words, their disappointment at their game being cut short obvious, though they reluctantly disperse, off to find other mischief.
You come to sit beside Noa. Resting your head on his shoulder. “Thanks.” You say with a laugh. “They’ve had me running everywhere!” Noa chuckles softly, your head resting on his shoulder sending a surge of warmth through him. "I saw," he responds with a smirk. "Young ones have a lot of energy. Could hear you running around from here."
As Soona takes her seat next to Noa, you reluctantly remove your head from his shoulder, feeling a pang of disappointment as you do. Over the seasons, your feelings for Noa have grown into a full-blown crush. Every moment with him is both thrilling and agonizing, as you struggle to keep your emotions reigned in. But you were not blind, he had such a beautiful bond with Soona. They were sure to find their way to each other one way or another. You wouldn’t stand in the way of that. You couldn't for Noa would not have a human as a mate, as the clan's mother. It was not right.
The sun starts to dip below the horizon, casting long shadows across the village. The air is filled with the hustle and bustle of the clan preparing for the evening. With a final glance at Noa, Anaya, and Soona, you rise from your seat. "I should head back to my hut. I'll see you tomorrow."
Noa's gaze follows you as you walk away, disappearing into the small hut he spent countless days constructing to ensure your comfort. He lets out a soft sigh, a mixture of resignation and longing etched across his features. The thought of spending his nights in that very hut, with you, is a tempting fantasy that he can't quite shake off.
“Echo is going hunting… with Khan tomorrow,” Soona says as she watches her friend's eyes stuck on your hut. Both Anaya and Soona could tell Noa felt something for you.
Noa's gaze is still fixed on your hut as Soona's words reach his ears. He turns to face her, a hint of surprise in his expression. "Hunting... with Khan?" he echoes, his mind momentarily distracted from his thoughts. Anaya and Soona share a knowing look, their observant eyes picking up on the subtle indicators of Noa's feelings without him even realizing.
Noa's eyes narrow slightly, a flicker of confusion and perhaps the slightest hint of jealousy in his gaze. "Why would she go hunting with Khan?" he wonders aloud. "She's always hunts with me..." Anaya and Soona exchange a glance, both silently recognizing Noa's unspoken emotions for you. If they could only get him to stop being so stubborn.
It's Anaya who breaks the silence, her voice gentle but pointed. "Perhaps Echo wants a change of pace," he suggests, a knowing smile playing on his lips. "Maybe wanted to spend time with other apes… not just Noa.”
Noa lets out an exasperated sigh, rolling his eyes at the suggestion. He retorts, his tone a mix of annoyance and growing suspicion. "She knows all of the clan. There's not an ape who does not enjoy her company…Why would she want to hunt with Khan…of all apes?"
Anaya smirks, “Noa is jealous.” He is quickly smacked by Soona with a disappointed glare. "Jealous?" Noa scoffs, attempting to backtrack, his denial not as convincing as he'd like. "not jealous... I do not understand why Echo… would choose to go hunting with Khan… instead of me." Khan, while a decent hunter, paled in comparison to Noa's own skills. Noa knew, deep down, that he could provide you with everything Khan couldn't. The realization only serves to fuel his growing jealousy.
You step out of your hut, greeting the morning with a weary smile. The dawn light filters through the trees, casting a faint glow on your face. A sense of anticipation mixes with exhaustion in your expression, the upcoming hunting trip adding to your weariness but also sparking a hint of excitement.
You make your way through the village, exchanging warm greetings with the apes you pass along the way. As you approach Dar, you come to a stop, a friendly smile on your face. "Good morning, Dar," you say, your voice still tinged with a hint of sleepiness. Dar, as usual, embarrasses you with the fond gesture, her forehead touching yours in a warm greeting. Despite the early hour and your half-awake state, you can't help but smile at her affection.
As you look around the area, a hint of disappointment crosses your features when you don't spot Noa among the apes. You had hoped to catch a glimpse of him before departing on the hunting trip, but it seems he's nowhere to be found.
You turn your gaze to Dar, curiosity and a hint of disappointment in your voice. "Where is Noa?" Dar cocks her head to the side, her eyes scanning the surroundings. "Noa?" she muses. "He was here earlier… was packing for trip.” Your brows furrow but brush it off just as quickly.
You head towards the horses, your mind still preoccupied with thoughts of where Noa might be. As you approach, you spot Khan, diligently preparing his own horse for the upcoming hunting trip.
“Almost ready?”
Khan looks up from what he's doing, a confident smile on his lips. "Almost ready," he responds, his tone assured. "Just a few… adjustments.” He pats the side of the horse, his hand gently grazing its neck in a soothing gesture.
Khan had always been kind to you, a friendly presence in the clan. He would often bring small collections of berries to you and offer his help with gentle gestures. In many ways, he was a good ape, and you found yourself drawn to his affable demeanor. But deep down, you knew that your heart longed for Noa, and as much as you wanted to move on, it wasn't as easy as flipping a switch.
As you're about to mount Khan's horse and feel his touch on your lower back, a familiar voice cuts through the air, making you pause. You turn around to find Noa, sitting atop his horse and looking at you both with a steady gaze. "Care if I join?" he asks, a determined, almost smug expression on his face.
You smile at him and walk a step close to him. Simply drawn to his form. “Noa!”
Noa smiles back at you, his eyes locking onto your form as you move slightly closer to him. Your voice, saying his name, ignites a flicker of warmth within him.
Khan, his expression neutral, considers Noa's request. "Why do you want to come?" he asks, a hint of suspicion in his tone. The two had never been close, simply acquaintances. Noa's gaze is firm as he locks eyes with Khan, his voice carrying a hint of bitter determination. "As the leader… it's my duty to provide for the clan," he responds, emphasizing his role and responsibility.
Khan, choosing not to test Noa's leadership, simply nods in acknowledgment. He extends his hand towards you, silently offering to help you mount his horse. Noa's hand quickly finds your arm, pulling you towards his horse with a firm but gentle grip. "Ride with me," he states, his voice matter-of-fact. He steadies you as you find your balance on the shared saddle, a silent act of declaration.
Riding together wasn't an unusual sight in the clan, but there was something different about this time. There was a sense of forcefulness in Noa's actions, as if he was intentionally asserting his presence, making it clear that he was there, right behind you. As to where Khan was merely feet away, alone, on his horse.
Khan dismounts from his horse and crouches down to observe the tracks on the ground. He carefully studies the marks left behind, his eyes focused and analytical. You slide off Noa's horse and move closer to Khan, crouching down to observe the tracks that have caught his attention. Pointing forward towards the lush forest, you indicate the direction you believe the prints lead to. "This way," you suggest, your voice certain and sure.
Noa, his leadership instincts in full display, takes the lead without a word, striding ahead with an air of determination. He doesn't need to speak; his body language and actions alone convey his confidence and authority. Khan, watching from behind, cannot help but silently scoff at Noa's behavior. It's clear to him that Noa is attempting to assert his dominance, trying to outshine Khan in every possible way.
Khan, determined not to be overshadowed by Noa, moves to walk alongside him, maintaining a similar stance and speed. He doesn't say anything, but his body language indicates that he refuses to be dominated or intimidated.
You trail slightly behind Noa and Khan, your attention solely focused on the tracks ahead of you. You move with purpose, your eyes fixed on the ground beneath you, following the trail that leads deeper into the lush forest. You follow the trail in silence, Noa and Khan side by side. The forest is alive with the soft rustling of leaves and the distant chirping of birds.
Suddenly, a faint sound, a squeal, reaches your ears. It's soft, distant, but undeniably out of place. Noa's ears twitch, expression furrowing in concentration as he picks up on the noise too.
All three of you freeze, your focus shifting to the bushes that had rustled. Noa's sharp eyes zero in on the movement, and he points, a tense whisper breaking the silence. "There!" Khan and Noa immediately sprint through the trees, their trained hunter instincts kicked into gear. They move with incredible speed, their bodies weaving through the forest with ease. The chase is on.
You reach Noa and Khan, your breath slightly labored, just in time to see the two warriors cornering a wild, enraged bore. Its tusks are blood-stained and its eyes burn with fury. The beast is trapped, but it isn't giving up without a fight.
Khan strikes the first blow, his determination to prove himself driving his actions. However, his effort is met with a swift and brutal response from the hog. It charges at him with a ferocious speed, easily brushing off his spear attack as if it was mere child's play.
As Khan cries out in pain and the wild hog continues its relentless attack, you instinctively move forwards to aiding him. However, Noa swiftly grabs your arm, preventing you from getting closer. Noa bides his time, waiting for the right moment, before springing into action to assist Khan. He cautiously approaches the fight, assessing the situation and finding the perfect opening to join the battle.
Noa waits until the boar raises up on its hind legs, preparing to plunge its tusks into Khan. Then, with a swift and fearless move, he throws his spear, aiming it perfectly into the beast. The spear pierces the boar's flesh, and the two start to fight, a fierce struggle unfolding between Noa and the wild animal.
While Khan had been easily overpowered by the boar, Noa was a different story. His strength and agility were much greater, and he managed to stay on top of the hog, struggling fiercely with the enraged beast. Noa, being the skilled hunter that he was, quickly put an end to the animal's suffering. He used his superior skill and strength to overpower and subdue the boar, bringing the fight to a swift conclusion.
Noa, his pride inflated after his successful defeat of the boar, turns around, expecting to find you watching him with admiration and respect. Instead, he sees you by Khan's side, inspecting his injuries with concern. The sight of you tending to the wounded ape triggers a pang of jealousy in Noa.
Khan sits on the forest floor, his expression a mixture of shock and anger. Had his leader really just allowed him to be mangled on purpose? He meets Noa's gaze with an intensity that borders on hostility. The two males lock eyes, the tension palpable between them.
You glance nervously between the two apes, your eyes darting back and forth as the tension between them builds. The air is thick with animosity, and you can feel the hostile energy radiating from both Noa and Khan.
Khan's words are sharp and accusatory as he looks directly at Noa. "You should have helped." The accusation hangs in the air, and you can feel the tension grow even thicker. Noa bristles at the comment, his expression clouding with irritation. Noa, his pride wounded by Khan's accusation, responds with a biting retort. "You could have more hunting skills," he shoots back, his tone laced with sarcasm. The two apes are locked in a battle of wits and male egos now.
You step forward and raise your hands in a gesture of peace, trying to diffuse the growing tension. "Okay, let's just all calm down," you say, your voice steady and calming. You turn to Noa, confusion evident in your eyes, wondering why he's behaving this way. His actions are so unlike him, and it concerns you deeply.
You assist Khan in getting back onto his horse, your touch gentle and supportive. Meanwhile, Noa remains behind, diligently tying the dead bore to the horse to transport it back to the clan. He's eager for the praises he expects to receive from the clan. Tries to push forward a civil expression. However, his emotions betray him and a deeper feeling - jealousy, fueled by his possessive and ego-driven behavior plants in his chest.
You assist Khan in getting back to his horse, your touch gentle and supportive. Meanwhile, Noa remains behind, diligently tying the dead bore to the horse to transport it back to the clan. He's likely eager for the praises he expects to receive from the clan mates. However, his expression betrays a deeper feeling - jealousy, fueled by his possessive and ego-driven behavior.
You look at Khan with concerned eyes, a worried furrow in your brow. "Are you sure you can make it back on your own?" you ask, clearly concerned for his well-being. Khan looks past you, his gaze lingering on Noa for a moment, likely noticing the displeasure on his face. He nods, responding to your query with a determined tone. "Yes… I will make it… it is not far." Despite his injury, Khan seems confident that he can make it back to the clan on his own.
You turn to face Noa, your eyes meeting his in a silent exchange. Khan, still suffering from his injury, rides off slowly and gingerly holds his wound. The air is filled with an uncomfortable silence. Noa expertly tightens the latch on the bore, ensuring it's secure and won't fall off during the journey back to the clan. His hands work with precision, and he seems focused on the task at hand, avoiding your gaze.
You stand behind Noa, your presence silent but palpable. When he turns to see you there, he huffs in annoyance. "You're still here." Your reply is brief and puzzled. "Yeah?" Noa's shoulders hitch as he speaks, his chest heaving with an undertone of jealousy. "Thought you would go back to the clan... with Khan," he reiterates, a hint of possessiveness in his voice.
You're surprised by Noa's possessive and jealous tone. This isn't the first time you've done things with Khan, but it is the first time Noa has witnessed it. You shake your head softly, your expression a mix of confusion and frustration. You respond with a hint of sarcasm and a raise of your brow. "Am I not allowed to have other friends, Noa?" Your irritation is evident as you scoffs at his behavior, challenging his possessive attitude.
Noa's gaze drops to the ground, and he mutters under his breath, sounding bitter and resentful. "Friends..." He clearly has doubts about the nature of your relationship with Khan.
You're absolutely stunned by Noa's bitter words and the tone he's using. You ask in a bewildered tone, "What are you talking about?" You're completely taken aback by his sudden display of jealousy and possessiveness. Noa's voice is firm as he turns to face you fully, his eyes locked on yours. "You and Khan...are not good for… mates," he asserts, his tone filled with possessiveness. "He can not protect you…He can not provide what you need to survive…" His words hang in the air, each one dripping with jealousy and resentment.
You're puzzled by his words and his intense focus on your relationship with Khan. Why did Noa care about who you chose as your mate? The possessive and jealous behavior was quite unexpected and out of character. It left you wondering what was really going on inside his head.
You decide to test him, playing along with the idea. "Why not?" you say with a hint of confidence. "He seems like a good choice." Your words are meant to provoke a reaction from Noa, to see if he's truly as possessive and jealous as he appears to be.
Noa's eyes burn brighter with intense jealousy, his words spilling out in a venomous tone. "Khan is weak...can not do everything...I can do." His stance is rigid, his pride wounded by the idea of you choosing anyone other than him. You meet his gaze, your expression filled with a mix of confusion and skepticism. "You?" you ask, your tone almost challenging.
Noa's demeanor is defensive, his jealousy and possessiveness bubbling just beneath the surface. He takes a step closer to you, his chest heaving with each breath. Noa, his anger and jealousy reaching a boiling point, yells out confidently, "I can do anything better than he can." He practically spits the words, clearly consumed by his intense feelings of possessiveness and superiority.
You can't help but feel amused as a smile slowly spreads across your face. Seeing Noa all worked up and jealous over the idea of you being with someone else was oddly entertaining. You fix your gaze on him, a hint of amusement in your eyes. "Noa?" you ask with a smirk, "are you jealous?" Your question hangs in the air, and Noa hesitates for a moment before responding, trying to mask his true feelings, but failing miserably. Your laughter breaks the tense silence. "Well looks like Anaya was right," you say, a hint of mockery in your voice. Noa's reaction to your words confirms your suspicions, and you're enjoying every second of it.
Noa's expression quickly changes from anger to surprise as you mention his friend Anaya. "Anaya?" he parrots, his tone laced with surprise and disbelief. You continue, saying that Anaya had warned you about him getting jealous, but you hadn't believed it. Noa's confidence wavers as he processes this new information, his jealousy now exposed.
Noa's shoulders sag, clearly embarrassed that his jealousy is out in the open now. He huffs, his expression a mix of irritation and vulnerability. After a moment, he looks at you, his eyes betraying the truth. "Fine, I'm jealous. Happy now?" Noa's tone is laced with a hint of defeat, his pride taking a hit.
You step closer to Noa, your touch gentle as you grab onto his arm. Your voice is softer, no longer teasing. "You shouldn't be," you say, looking into his eyes with a hint of kindness. Noa's gaze drifts away, avoiding yours as he asks, "Why?" His voice is laced with vulnerability and a hint of self-doubt. He's struggling to come to terms with his own feelings, and your words and actions have stirred something within him.
Noa's eyes meet yours as you gently turn his face back towards you. The words you utter, "Because, I like you, Noa," hang in the air, and you can see a mixture of surprise and relief wash over his features. His jealousy seems to melt away, replaced by a softness and vulnerability that was previously hidden.
Noa's eyes widen in surprise as he asks, "What?" He had been so blinded by his jealousy and possessiveness that he hadn't expected to hear those words from you. It was as if his mind was trying to process the reality of your admission. “Was I not clear enough? Who else do I lean on during dinner? Who else do I spend time with?"
Noa's expression turns from shock to a mixture of realization and mild embarrassment. ou can practically see the pieces coming together in his mind. Yes, he had been blind to your actions, but now they were so obvious. The subtle cues, the time spent together - all signs pointing towards your affection for him.
Noa sees the truth in your eyes, the admission of your feelings. "You like… me..." he says softly, his voice filled with disbelief and a hint of relief. The realization slowly settles in, and a mixture of emotions washes over him. There's a hint of surprise, a hint of relief, and above all, a growing affection. He looks at you, his eyes searching your face for any sign that this was all just a cruel joke. But he finds none. You genuinely like him, and the thought makes his heart race. You shrug, “I thought you’d never find an echo… suitable. I figured Soona would be your mate.”
Noa's eyes widen at your words, the mention of Soona bringing back a rush of memories. "Soona?" he asks, his voice tinged with surprise. He'd had a great bond with Soona but had never considered her as a potential mate. More as a sibling.
As his emotions at the surface, he quickly reached for you. He pulls you into his arms, and your foreheads touch in a gesture of deep connection. It's a moment filled with tenderness and intensity as he holds you close, the weight of his affection and relief pouring out through this intimate embrace.
Noa's resolve solidifies, and his grip on you tightens. The thought of you being his, and the whole clan knowing, gives him a sense of possessive pride.
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autumn-kouhai · 17 days ago
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just a reminder that it is not that curly didn't want to see the abuse him and anya went through, he CAN'T see it.
if he didn't want to see the dead pixel, why did he say he'll go bonkers looking for it? why did he even attempt to look in the first place if he didn't want to see it? while he tries to make sense of this by saying he's used to looking at the bigger picture, he doesn't even deny it's there. he looks anyway because he cares about anya, and values her input.
anya, on the other hand, reads to me as a detail-oriented person. once she sees the intricacies, she can't unsee it(that's what makes her capable of being a good nurse). she knows how curly is, but she doesn't understand why he can't see it. she doesn't blame him for that either by the way, anya just asks him what he would've done for something that already happened. just like she doesn't blame him for not seeing the dead pixel, she even starts the conversation that she still likes the night time window screen.
we, the player, could've already picked up the truth of what happened before curly does. and even when curly is told, he doesn't deny her once. we're not even given what curly's plan actually *was,* just that curly wanted anya to wait for him. he was only given a full day from the moment anya told him she was pregnant to anya telling jimmy, then jimmy crashing the ship.
there's just so much nuance behind curly's state of mind, i'm not even including the abuse curly went through at the hands of jimmy and the shitty working conditions of pony express deteriorating him. the people that say he knowingly turned a blind eye on anya don't recognize the multi-faceted reasons and what he actually did/didn't do. the truth is that curly is human. his actions are neither good or bad, just human.
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dunmeshistash · 8 months ago
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do you have any thoughts about Kabru kissing Rin as a way to make her notice they're in a illusion? why would he go with that lmao, at first I was like "oh they're a couple! she recognized her bf's kiss and understood the situation, how cute!" but they're not a couple, Rin has a crush on him ofc but he sees her kinda like a sister canonically. why Kabru with all his understanding of humans and all that would make the poor girl think she was being kissed by a fucking giant fish at first 😭
maybe in the anime it's more clear? I finished the manga already but I'm a little behind on the episodes
It's exactly because he understands that he did that!
That was the first time we saw how powerful Kabru can be, because his great understanding of his teammates allowed him to recognize them thru the Illusion.
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He did this because he knows her, he says himself it's "the best non violent way to stop a mage from casting a spell" like, he could knock her out or use force to cover her mouth but he wanted to shock her into stopping so she wouldn't get hurt.
He thinks of her a sister but she isn't actually his sister and he for sure knows she's in love with him.
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He even teases her after while apologizing. She also knows Kabru tho so she doesn't take the kiss seriously either, she probably knows he didn't mean anything by it. (I think it's kinda sweet she still likes him even tho she has seen past his charms. His whole party kinda understand him past the surface charm and know how he acts and still stick with him I love them.)
Kabru understands people but he also uses people, so it's not so strange he did something that was uncomfortable for Rinsha because it was what he deemed the best way to deal with the situation if you ask me. He loves people but he's also a nuanced character like the others that does questionable things, in the grand scheme of things making Rin kiss a fish wasn't so bad tho.
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luna-the-moth · 5 months ago
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Anon: Hello! Any chance of more on Idia x reader who does audio porn? I enjoy this posts a lot and your writing is amazing! 😳🫣
Tumblr ate this ask, but luckily I saved it in my google docs beforehand <3 Regardless, we perservere <3 thank you for the kind words Nonnie, I hope you enjoy!
Here’s a link to the prev audio porn creator! Reader x idia blurb if you haven't checked it out!
18+, gn! reader who does audio porn/asmr
I’d definitely say he’s fond of the roleplay audios the most! He appreciates the effort that’s put into acting out specific characters, and even more so if a person’s able to capture the character’s complexity and nuance!
Is also picky about sound effects, so he’s a good soundboard! (Mind, sending him entire audios may not be the most productive way of checking the realism and quality of your sound bites…Sending him individual audio clips of specific acts/sounds will be more efficient!) 
Would definitely enjoy your mukbang-esque videos where you record yourself eating a meal and chatting, though! Would never admit it because he doesn’t want to expose himself as a loser who listens to his partner eat when they aren’t sharing a meal but…he is <3 
He’ll protest that your soothing bf/gf/partner asmrs aren’t special to him once you’re in a relationship (he has the real deal right next to him, after all!), but if you’re away for a long time and can’t call/text, he does secretly listen to one of your softer, intimate works.
Also he may or may not have done a scan to see if anyone else on campus listens to you— keeping an eye on possible competitors is necessary!! Who knows what those freaks would do if they recognized you! QWQ
That being said, he helps a lot with your digital anonymity (letting you know if you accidentally reveal information in your audio or that there’s background noise that can be used to doxx you) and will modify your voice upon request! You’ll be as safe as can be while still being able to pursue your passions <3
Idia will also make sure to listen to your ramblefaps (audios where the speaker is masturbating) before you guys have sex for the first time…he has to be prepared!! Otherwise his poor heart wouldn’t be able to take it , , , poor thing gets sooo flustered though, especially if he can hear you using a toy. (He totally doesn’t wish it was him inside you when you use a dildo.)
On that note! I think he’d be really smug if you had an audio where you’re being pleasured by him + you cut out his audio post-editing , , , he doesn’t want his voice out there but you posting a session where he’s the one giving you an orgasm , ,,  ORZ he gets soooo worked up about it once he overcomes the initial stage of embarrassment. 
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