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Give us some angst 😈😈😈😈

YEEESSS i want to write angst 😩

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anyone have any requests👀 i’m in a writing mood this evening

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the black dog

ex!rafe x reader

summary: six weeks post breakup you check rafe’s location and make an impulsive decision

word count: 700

warnings: cocaine, and sadness

a/n: i tried something new with this one, not too much action and not much dialogue but I tried to be sad, let me know what yall think!!

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You shouldn’t still have his location.

He just forgot to turn it off. You didn’t have it in you to remove it, either.

It’s not like you checked it. Well, not often anyway. Just when the silence gets too loud. When you’re alone at night with nothing but the sound of your own thoughts flooding your brain. The urge to call him, or text him, rises like bile in the back of your throat.

Mindlessly, you open the app, your eyes trailing to the blue dot signaling his location. It pulsed like a heartbeat you were still somehow connected to. You zoom in to see where he is. The Black Dog. Some bar you hadn’t heard of before. You close the app quickly, like somehow you can pretend you hadn’t seen it.

But it was too late.

All the thoughts came rushing in.

Who was he with? Was he with another girl? Was he out there laughing? Was he thinking about you at all? Did he miss you at all?

“Stop,” you whisper to yourself.

You knew you should put your phone down. Delete his contact, block him, whatever. You should try to forget about him. Unfortunately, despite it being 6 weeks of breathing clean air, you still missed the smoke.

The pain you felt made you want to leave everything behind. Sell your house, set fire to all your clothes, whatever you had to do to get him out of your head. Even if it killed you.

Instead, you picked up your keys, stepped out into the darkness, and drove to The Black Dog.

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You can still taste the night you left him, or rather the night he made you leave — bitter, metallic, like blood in your mouth.

It started with the coke. It always did.

You knew the signs by now — the jittery hands, the wildness sparking behind his eyes, the way he spoke too fast.

“Rafe,” you sighed. “This needs to stop. I can’t keep doing this day after day.”

You were trying to help him, and maybe that was the problem.

"You're overreacting," he said, his jagged and manic laugh filling the air between you.

“You’re gonna kill yourself if you don’t stop, Rafe,” you muttered, reaching for him across the marble island.

He laughed as he pulled his hand away from you.

A wild, hollow sound that didn't belong to the boy you loved. It made your skin crawl.

"Maybe I should," he said, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. "Might save you the trouble."

“Rafe, how could you even say that,” you started, before he cut you off sharply.

"Just get out."

His voice was sharp enough to cut. His jaw clenched.

You blinked at him, stunned, thinking you must have heard wrong.

"I said get the fuck out!"

The words echoed against the walls, louder than the crash. It made you flinch. This wasn’t the person you fell in love with. This wasn’t the boy that would do anything for you.

Your mouth opened, then closed. You wanted to scream at him. You wanted to shake him, make him see what he was doing. He wasn’t in his right mind.

So you did the only thing you thought to do, which was to leave. You got the sense he wanted you to.

Maybe he just wanted to break something before it could break him.

So you turned around and walked out the door.

You waited, even as you yanked open the door, even as you stumbled into the night — you waited for him to chase you.

He didn’t.

Just the sound of the door slamming behind you, sharp and final, and the echo of your own heart breaking in your ears.

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You squeeze the steering wheel until your knuckles turned white. It was the only way to stop them from shaking. You stare at the sign, it’s light reflecting on the slightly wet pavement below.

People stumble in and out, laughing, shouting, stumbling — all of them spinning in a world that feels too bright and too loud.

You spot him immediately.

He’s leaning against the brick wall, cigarette dangling between his fingertips. He looks the same, but different somehow. Your heart quickens, fighting the urge to run up to him and spill your guts.

Old habits die hard. Or die screaming.

You didn’t know what you hoped to see. Maybe a sign of sadness, regret, even anger? A sign that he’s suffering as much as you are.

But he just stands there, beautiful and broken and utterly unreachable.

Like he always has.

He didn’t miss you. You just felt it.

You reach to shift the car into drive, but something stops you. Rafe lifts his head, and his eyes find yours across the street. Like he’s been waiting for you this whole time.

Your hand is on the door handle before you can think. You could run up to him, try to talk to him. You could let him potentially pull you back in if he wanted to. But he didn’t want to. You knew the reality.

You could let him ruin you again, and part of you wanted to. A big part of you. You almost do it, until you see another girl run out of the bar, her bright smile lighting up as her eyes meet his.

He doesn’t care. He wasn’t waiting for you.

You close your eyes, count to ten, and start the miserable drive home.

The streetlights blur as you drive back home. What were you doing? He was never going to choose you. Never going to chase you.

It hits you again, all at once. You wished you could erase him. You wished you didn’t love him, didn’t miss him, didn’t care.

You feel like you’re drowning in your own tears, drunk on them.

You still ache for the Rafe you thought you knew. The Rafe you knew he could become, even when he made it clear he didn’t want to be saved by you.

You almost got out of the car.

Almost went to him.

Almost let him ruin you all over again.

Under the anger, heartbreak and pain, a quieter truth sent a shiver through your body.

You still, after everything, would have forgiven him.

That’s what scares you the most.

Old habits die screaming.

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standing ovulation or whatever they say

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break in | rafe cameron

pairing: pogue!reader x rafe

summary: after an argument, rafe leaves you alone in a potentially dangerous situation

warnings: break in, swearing

a/n: my first fic back in forever!!!! my life has completely fallen apart lately so i need to write about some fictional boys to cope! i’m a little (a lot) rusty so apologies! thank you all for reading, and as always my requests are open🫶🏻

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The air in the house felt heavy, the silence deafening. You glanced over your head at Rafe, his gaze towards the floor rather than fixed on you. The tension was thick. It had not been your best day, and it was starting to wear you down.

“Are you planning on speaking to me or are you gonna give me the silent treatment for the rest of the night?” you snapped, fully turning your body around to face him.

He remained silent, his eyes still not looking up to meet yours. You could tell his head was spinning just by the look on his face. You had a feeling he was holding his temper back, preferring to be silent than say something mean to you. The silence killed you regardless.

You took a few steps forward until you were standing in front of him, your anger becoming more and more palpable.

“Are you seriously that angry?” you asked. “It’s a bit fucking ridiculous Rafe.”

“I’m ridiculous?” he finally shot back. “Really, y/n?”

“Really, Rafe,” you nodded, your volume matching his. “How many times do I have to tell you there’s nothing going on with JJ?”

He took a few steps away from you, running his hand over his head as he let out a deep, heavy sigh. His jaw clenched as he looked back at you.

“Until I believe you,” he retorted. “You pogues can’t always be trusted, and I definitely don’t trust him.”

“It’s not about trust,” you said. “It’s about the fact that you’re so controlling and I’m pushing back.”

He remained silent, but this time his eyes remained fixed on you. His blue eyes bore into yours, somehow only making you more angry.

“You know what, Rafe? You’re a fucking asshole,” you told him calmly. “And you’re just like your father.” No yelling, just the choked sound of your voice as tears welled up behind your eyes.

“I’m not doing this,” he exhaled. “I’m going to the party.”

You saw him snatch up a hoodie that had been hanging on the back of a chair before he stormed out, the door slamming shut behind him. The silence encompassed you again, but this time he was gone.

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Rafe showed up at Topper’s place, his friends all wasted already. The sun hadn’t even gone down yet. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. He grabbed a beer and took a long sip, releasing another sigh. Topper came up behind him, slapping his back a little too hard in excitement.

“Hey dude, I didn’t see you show up!”

Rafe chugged the rest of his beer, opening another one promptly. He didn’t want to think about the words he said to you, or what you said to him. Maybe he shouldn’t have accused you, but you also knew how to cut deep. He needed a breather.

The party continued to roar as Rafe mingled, girls ogling him as he met back up with Topper. He felt his phone vibrating in his pocket, and pulled it out to see your name light up the screen.

“Ignore her,” Topper yelled over the music.

Rafe obliged, shoving his phone back in his pocket and pretending he hadn’t seen it. He wanted to apologize, but he was also still angry, and unfortunately stubborn. He didn’t want to talk. Not yet.

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“Fuck,” you whispered under your breath as you paced back and forth in your bedroom upstairs. “Answer Rafe.”

You dialed him again, meeting nothing but his voicemail message again. You cursed, throwing your phone onto your bed and tiptoeing back to the window. You pulled the curtain aside, just barely, and peeked out. You could see the two men hovering, looking like they were scheming about something. What did they want? Were they dangerous? Maybe they were just friends of Ward’s, waiting to talk to Rafe about something.

After a few minutes when you went back to look out the window, they were both gone. You let out a breath of relief. Just an overreaction.

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Rafe leaned against the wall, waiting for the bathroom to be free. He hoped there weren’t people making out in there…or worse. He pulled his phone out of his pocket out of boredom, seeing multiple missed calls from you.

He noticed another notification, from the home security system he had set up not long ago. It was notifying him of movement near the house.

He pulled up the footage, seeing two men hovering around the front of the house. He didn’t recognize them. They walked off, and the footage cut. He furrowed his eyebrows as he clicked the second notification from the camera at the back of the house. He noticed them trying to get the back door open. What the fuck?

As he walked back through the house to leave, he dialed your number, hoping to god you would pick up and not ignore him out of pettiness. You answered on the first ring, sounding out of breath and like you had been crying.

“Baby,” he said quickly. “I need you to get out of the house now, okay? Don’t panic, just go as quickly and as quietly as you can.”

“Is it those guys?” you asked, your voice lowering to a whisper. He told you not to panic, but you were panicking.

“What guys? You saw them?” he asked.

“Yeah I saw them at the front of the house, but I thought they left,” you explained. “I tried calling you.”

“Fuck,” he muttered. “I’m so sorry baby, I’ll be home as soon as I can just get out of the house.”

“Rafe!” you screamed. He could hear commotion going on, but as he screamed for you he was not met with your voice. He heard two unfamiliar voices, and the sound of breaking glass. Another scream and the line went dead.

“Fuck!” he screamed. He grabbed Topper from the collar, “Can you give me a ride home?”

He had walked here, needing to clear his head after the argument with you. He realized now that was a mistake. You could be hurt, or worse, and he wasn’t there. His protective instincts were ablaze, there was nothing more important than getting to you.

“Dude I’m wasted,” Topper slurred.

“Give me your keys,” Rafe demanded, and Topper offered them up immediately. “And call 911 and send them to my place. NOW!”

He ran off before he could hear Topper’s response. He had tunnel vision, you were the only thing that was important right now. He didn’t care if those guys destroyed his house, stole all his belongings, as long as they hadn’t touched you.

His heart pounded as he sped back home, praying he wouldn’t get pulled over. He wouldn’t pull over, not until he knew you were safe. He could barely think, or even breathe as he sped down the familiar roads back to his house.

He pulled up, a swarm of cops surrounding the place. He sprinted to them, ignoring the calls of his name as he stormed through the front entrance. He didn’t see you.

“Where is she?” he screamed to no one in particular, hoping someone would answer.

“Rafe?” you called, barely able to get the sound out.

“Y/n,” he breathed, running over to where you stood on the balcony, blanket over your shoulders, the broken window beside you.

You crashed into his chest, sobs that you had been holding back finally escaping. Rafe tightened his arms around you, whispering apologies. He pulled back slightly, just enough that he could cup his large hands on either side of your face.

“Did they hurt you?” he asked.

You shook your head. “I ran upstairs once they saw me, and the cops showed up not long after.”

“Thank god,” he exhaled, planting a kiss on your forehead. “I’m so sorry baby, I-“

“It’s okay,” you cut him off. “I’m okay.”

“I shouldn’t have left,” he defended, shaking his head. “I was an asshole, like you said.”

“I shouldn’t have said that to you,” you muttered.

“Doesn’t matter now, baby,” he said. “I don’t know what I would have done if you weren’t okay. I can’t even imagine if something happened to you.”

“I’m okay,” you reassured him. “We’re okay?”

He just nodded, pulling you closer to him. He knew he would need to talk to the cops, but right now he couldn’t stand the thought of letting you go after feeling so close to losing you.

You didn’t understand how someone could make you feel so secure despite the fact that your house was just broken into. It was as if all the events of the day melted away, and you were secure again.

You were safe. Right there, with him.

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hey yall!! i have been MIA due to my 6 year relationship crashing and burning ✌🏻 so now i wanna get back into writing about hot fictional boys

i have a rafe request in my inbox i’m dying to write, are we still into it?

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hello friends sorry i’ve been MIA

i’m back and hoping to get some writing out!!😍

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Maybe a lot of groveling and begging and then leaving it a bit open ended? Like maybe she’ll be willing to be friends again but he has to work his way back to how they were before? And maybe they talk about their feelings? Idk. I’d love a happy ending but I also get the not wanting him to just get her back after being so mean lol

Were you planning on her ever telling Rafe she thought he never had feelings for her?

yeah i definitely want a lot of groveling and not just reader running right back to him and pretending it never happened, so i want kind of a mix like you said!

and yeah i definitely think i wanna have that discussion in there somewhere, but without it leading to them dating right away after everything if that makes sense!

I’m hoping to have part 3 in the next few days!!😍

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i hope reader doesn't forgive rafe in truth part three. that bitch doesn't deserve it. i'm so tired of easy to get written readers 🥲

so many people have been asking for a happy ending after a lot of groveling and begging lol!! i’m not sure where to take it

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hi! do you have a master list of your fics? xoxo

i’m currently working on updating it/making one for my obx fics!! when i’m done i’ll pin it🥰

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Truth part 3 and then new ficcc afterrrr

heard bestie🫡

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do we want part 3 of truth or a new fic next??👀

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DREW STARKEY on Jimmy Kimmel Live!

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this sweater???? i need him

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my cutesy patootie ☝️ i'm so proud of him 🥺

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take care of you | rc

pairing: mommyissues!rafe x pogue!reader

summary: after a heated argument with ward, rafe seeks comfort from the only woman in his life who’s ever stayed

warnings: wee bit of theorizing about mama cameron (death)

wc: 1.8k

a/n: hey friends!! thank you to the anon that sent this request in!! i love me a soft rafe moment who just needs to be held🥹 enjoy!! feel free to send me more angsty/soft rafe i love it!!!

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Rafe slammed the truck door shut behind him, twisting his key into the ignition. Ward stood in the doorway ahead of him, his mouth moving but his words unheard. Rafe stopped listening to him even before he decided to leave. He couldn’t listen to it anymore. The rain pelted the windowsill, overpowering the pounding sound of his accelerated heartbeat. He pulled out of the driveway, no destination in mind. He just had to leave.

As he drove, his headlights broke through the rain ahead, illuminating the pitch black road. His breathing was still heavy, trying to ignore his fight with Ward. They weren’t exactly few and far between, but this one had escalated particularly badly. He replayed it over and over, on the verge of screaming just to make it stop.

He didn’t know why he tried to hard to impress Ward, or to get his validation. Everyone is his life left in one way or another. Whether it was on their own terms, or they were taken. He clung to Ward and the fact that just maybe, he would stick around. Be proud of him. In the end, everyone gave up on him. Everyone screwed him over.

Except maybe one person.

When Rafe first met you, he didn’t like you. He never thought he could be friends with a pogue, let alone be with one romantically. You had too much confidence for someone who didn’t have very much. He admit, he thought less of you. He judged you about things that didn’t truly matter. Eventually, he began to find you endearing. You didn’t need boats, a big house, designer clothes, or anything material to be happy. You knew who you were, and he admired that.

You understood him in ways no kook ever had, and probably more than any kook ever will. You knew hardship, and you saw through his bravado. You could tell deep down, he was in pain. No money could fix what was truly happening inside. All the other kooks were shallow. Never having any conversations with substance, just rambling about bullshit. Rafe never really fit in with any of them. He pretended to be friends with most of them, to keep up appearances and his reputation. At the end of the day, he knew none of them truly cared about him. Even worse, he knew they would mock him if they knew he was with you.

Without realizing, Rafe ended up pulling into your driveway. Through the still pouring rain, he could barely see your house. All the lights were off, including the porch light. Were you home? He didn’t even know. As his mind reeled, he automatically drove here. He wanted to see you. Wanted your comfort. Before you, he hadn’t had that in a long time. Since his mom…no one had ever been there for him. No one to tell him things would be okay, no one to comfort him, or hold him. He craved it.

He hopped out of the car, jogging through the rain to your front door. He rapped his knuckles, hoping you would appear on the other side. He saw a light turn on inside, and exhaled a sigh of relief.

You opened the door, met with a dripping wet and sad looking Rafe on the other side. You were surprised to see him. You had some distance from each other recently, since Rafe told you that his friends couldn’t know about your relationship. You pulled back as he continued to hang out with them, unsure how to move forward.

Seeing him here made your heart sink. He pouted as his blue eyes bore into yours, sadness overcoming his entire expression.

“Can I come in?” he asked. “Please.”

“Of course,” you muttered. You stepped aside, letting Rafe into your empty house.

He crossed the threshold, a shiver coming over his body at the sudden change of temperature. His wet clothes left him cold, making the warmth of your house even more shocking to his system. He wiped at his face in attempt to dry it.

“Are you cold?” you asked gently. “Here let me go get you some clothes and a blanket.”

You walked away for a moment, leaving Rafe standing in your doorway. You gathered a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie that belonged to your brother. He wasn’t here, he wouldn’t mind. You snatched your fuzzy blanket from your bed, scurrying back to where Rafe stood waiting. You passed him the clothes, offering him to go change.

As he took his time, you put a kettle of water on the stove. Opening your white cabinets, you rummaged through the various flavours of tea you had. You settled on chamomile. You knew Rafe liked it, even though he would never admit it to literally anyone else. You grabbed 2 mugs and placed the tea bags inside as the kettle began whistling.

You took the two steaming mugs out to the coffee table, where Rafe sat on the couch, waiting for you.

“Here,” you muttered, handing him the mug. You grabbed the blanket, placing it across his lap. “That should warm you up.”

“Thank you,” he said softly, gentle eyes looking up at you.

You sat down beside him, tucking your legs up on the couch. You both sat in silence for a moment, sipping your tea. He let out a small sigh after his first sip, a little smile tugging at his lips.

“My favorite,” he whispered. You responded with a nod.

“You take such good care of me,” he said, breaking the silence more. “I don’t deserve it.”

“Rafe,” you sighed.

He shook his head, not wanting you to deny the truth. He didn’t want you to tell him that he deserved it when he knew it wasn’t true. You were consistently there for him, exuding a kindness he’d never felt. Yet what did he do in return? Essentially tell you he’s embarrassed about your relationship. It was ridiculous, and you shouldn’t be nice to him.

“Come here,” you whispered, opening your arms to him.

His eyes welled up with tears, and he leaned over, resting his head on your lap. You tugged the blanket up slightly higher, covering his torso. You ran your hands through his hair and down his back, feeling the tension release from his body.

Unexpectedly, the tears continued to fall harder. Rafe’s breath caught in his throat as he heaved out a sob.

“You’re okay,” you cooed. “I’m here.”

He let out all the emotions he had been trained to hold back. Grown men didn’t cry. Strong men didn’t cry. This is what he was told over and over. No one ever let him express himself freely, or show vulnerability. For some reason, he felt safe to show it around you. Confident that you didn’t judge him, or view him as weak.

He didn’t realize how much he was craving to just be held. To have his hair played with, his back scratched. To be told it’s okay. He couldn’t remember a time when someone treated him so gently. He wondered if his mom was the last person who truly took care of him. Now, he felt responsible to take care of people around him most of the time.

“Talk to me,” you said. “What happened?”

“My dad,” he blurted out. He rubbed the tears from his eyes, taking a deep breath as he tried to compose himself. “We got into a fight, as always. I accused him of…of killing my mom.”

“What?” you asked, unable to hide the shock in your voice. “Do you really think…”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I was too young, but sometimes what he says just doesn’t add up. Doesn’t matter anyway, not like anything would happen to him.”

You nodded silently, knowing he was right. Even if Ward had killed her, no justice would be had. You knew Rafe grappled with the loss of his mom. Rose wasn’t exactly a replacement. She was cold, unkind. Rafe was in a constant battle with Ward. Trying to impress him, get his validation. Rafe grew up wanting his dad’s success, but most of all he just wanted his love. His acceptance. He didn’t think he would ever have a real family. That possibility only came into view when he met you.

“I’m so sorry, Rafe,” you consoled him. “I know how tense things can get with your dad. My arms are always open if you need a break, or need to talk.”

He sat up from your lap, facing you. His eyes were bloodshot from his previous tears. His usually hard features had softened, his eyes still carrying a deep sadness that you knew you couldn’t fix.

“I’m going to tell everyone we’re together,” he told you. “You’re…you’re perfect. You don’t deserve to be hidden. I don’t deserve you in general.”

“It’s okay,” you whispered. “When you’re ready.”

“I’m ready,” he nodded. “I think…I think you’re the only person who actually cares about me. Who listens and…sees me.”

Your eyes welled up slightly. You weren’t expecting Rafe to say something so vulnerable like this. His rough edges were beginning to soften around you.

“I see you, Rafe,” you told him. You reached out and cupped the side of his face, brushing your thumb along his cheekbone.

He leaned forward, his warm lips crashing onto yours. The kiss was desperate, yet gentle. You didn’t realize how much you had missed this. When you pulled away, Rafe’s eyes were glistening once more.

“Everyone in my life leaves, or screws me over,” he told you, repeating his previous thoughts. “Please don’t leave me.”

You pulled him towards you, wrapping your arms around him. He melted into your touch, safety and warmth encompassing his entire being.

“I’m here, Rafe,” you whispered. “I’m not going anywhere.”

You heard his stomach gurgle, making you let out a quiet chuckle. “Hungry?”

He nodded into the crook of your shoulder. You laughed once more as he pulled back, a smirk on his face.

“Let me make you something,” you told him. You planted a kiss on his cheek before standing up, placing the blanket over his carefully. “You just sit here and relax, okay?”

“I love when you take care of me, baby,” he murmured as he rested his head on the arm of the couch.

You smiled down at him before going into the kitchen to make him some food. He felt safe with you. You had to admit that your heart soared at the thought that you were the first person he came to after a fight with his dad. The first person he opened up to about his mom, to try in front of.

You didn’t even realize it would always be you. You would always be the first person he would run to, even in a crowded room.

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omg thank you guys for 1k notes on this!!!! that’s insane?!? I love you all🫶🏻

truth | rc

pairing: bsf!rafe x reader, rafe x sofia

summary: y/n overhears sofia and hollis unintentionally, and as rafes friend decides to tell him

warning: swearing, that’s about it i think

wc: 1.8k

a/n: thank you to the anon who sent this in! i’m loving the rafe angst lately, i’ve been having so much fun getting back into writing!! I legit couldn’t think of a title so for now there isn’t one lmaooo

part 2

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The fresh night air filled your lungs as you took a deep breath. You always loved walking at night. The air always felt better, the way everything quieted and slowed down always brought you peace. You loved to sit on the dock, listening to the crash of the waves. You watched the stars, mentally pointing out your favorite constellations as you spotted them.

You were brought out of your trance by a familiar voice coming from one of the boats in your vicinity.

“How much?”

You turned your head, leaning your body to try to get a good view. You spotted Sofia, sitting on a boat with that blonde lady you saw the other day. What was her name again? Holly?

“25, dear,” she said. “No questions asked.”

You slowly rose to your feet, trying to get a better view and be more in earshot. You had to stop your jaw from dropping when you heard the conversation. Twenty five grand for Sofia to convince Rafe to take the Goat Island deal. The well put together woman tried to make it same like it was for Rafe’s benefit, but you could tell by Sofia’s reactions that it wasn’t. She just wanted the money, she didn’t care how.

“What the fuck,” you whispered to yourself.

You saw Holly…Hollis! That’s what it was! She handed something to Sofia, and you caught a glimpse of what looked like cash inside. The conversation started wrapping up and you quickly picked up your pace, walking in the opposite direction and off the dock so neither of them saw you.

The sound of your shoes on the pavement sounded too loud in your ears as you hurried back to your house. You knew you weren’t supposed to overhear the conversation, but what were you supposed to do with that information now that you had it? You had to tell Rafe, right? He was your friend. You couldn’t let him get screwed over, especially not when he thought Sofia had good intentions.

You sat on the edge of your bed, breathing shallow as you went over everything you heard. You let out a mix of a sigh and a groan as you flopped onto your back, staring at the ceiling. You’d sleep on it, and decide how to go about telling Rafe tomorrow. You were supposed to meet him at the beach, maybe you could catch him alone before that.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅ ⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅ ⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘

The sun was bright and unforgiving, your eyes squinting automatically as you walked down the street. You decided you’d meet Rafe at his place before going down to the beach together. You needed to catch him alone.

You already felt the sweat forming on your forehead as you approached his front door, knocking urgently. When he didn’t answer, you knocked again. Eventually, the door flung open, his eyes half closed once the sun hit his face.

“Can you chill out?” he groaned, shielding the sun with his hand.

You could tell he had just woken up. Usually you’d feel bad, but honestly, you didn’t care. You needed to talk to him, to tell him what you heard and saw last night.

“Rafe I need to tell you something,” you said. “It’s important.”

He groaned slightly before stepping aside, silently inviting you in. He disappeared for a minute or two, arriving back with two mugs of coffee in his hand. You let him take a few sips, waiting for the caffeine to be in him before you started explaining. He needed to be alert and awake when he heard it.

“I was out at the dock last night, just clearing my head,” you started. “And I overheard something I think you should know.”

He stared at you, urging you to continue. His bright blue eyes were fixated on you now, fully awake.

“I saw Sofia and…Hollis?” it came out as more of a question. “I heard Hollis telling Sofia that she would give her 25 grand to convince you to sign the deal.”

“What?” Rafe said, his eyebrows ruffling together and his head shaking as he set his mug down on the coffee table beside him. “You must have misheard.”

“I saw Sofia take the money, Rafe,” you sighed. “I’m sorry, I know you really like her and everything but I really thought you should know and-”

“Just stop, y/n!” Rafe cut you off, raising a hand as if to pause you. “Spare me the fucking dramatics. Why are you trying to fuck with me?”

His jaw clenched, twitching as if he was biting his tongue. You hit a nerve, you could tell. You sat up a bit straighter, trying to show that you were serious. He wasn’t believing you. He didn’t want to think you might be right.

“I’m not!” you protested. “I just thought you should know. I think this Goat Island thing is sketchy, and she’s in on it.”

“Are you seriously that fucking jealous?” he asked, his voice raising as he stood up, towering over you. “You seriously can’t handle the thought of me being happy with someone so much that you have to make shit up?”

“Rafe this isn’t about Sofia!” you defended, standing up to match him. “I want you to be happy, but I can’t not let you know she’s being shady behind your back!”

“No, you know what y/n?” he asked, not waiting for the answer. “I’ve waited for you forever. Just waiting for the day you finally give me the time of day. For once, my attention is on someone other than you. And you can’t fucking handle it.”

You took a step back, your mouth opening slightly. You were at a loss for words. He really thought this was a jealousy issue? That you made up a whole complex story just because you don’t like Sofia? Sure, you were a little hurt when they got together. She was beautiful, and kind, and there were moments you wished he looked at you the way he looked at her. But this wasn’t about hurting her, or getting your way.

“You just loooooved pulling me around behind me like your puppy,” he continued, matching your step back with one forward. His voice lowered and his eyes narrowed, meeting your gaze. “You loved holding me close. You know how I feel for you, and you love it, y/n. You love the attention and you love how you can use it to your advantage.”

“Are you hearing yourself?” you screamed. “You’re fucking delusional Rafe. I’m trying to tell you something serious and you think this is just a love triangle? A lovers quarrel?”

“Stop messing with my head!” he shouted, tapping his temples with his index fingers. “That’s all you do, is fuck with my head! All the time!”

Your mind was reeling. Is that how he felt? Like you were just stringing him along. You never knew Rafe saw you as anything other than a friend. If you weren’t so focused on trying to tell him the truth, you would have held on longer to what he said about waiting for you. Did he mean he had feelings for you all this time? You always buried your feelings for Rafe, pretending they didn’t exist. It was easier that way. Easier to accept you’d never be together.

Rafe had always made your heart flutter, but the baggage that came with him often kept you at a distance when it came to getting closer. He was your friend, you cared for him. You never told him about how you truly felt, because you knew it would likely be a bad idea to be romantically involved. You assumed he’d never feel that way about you anyway, so you buried the hatchet.

“Fine,” you exhaled. “Don’t come to me when you find out your little girlfriend screwed you over. It’s your 400k, not mine.”

Trying to keep up an air of strength, you clenched your jaw. You wouldn’t cry, you wouldn’t react emotionally. He’ll find out the truth eventually, the truth always comes out. He’d admit you were right if you gave it time.

Until then, you walked out his door, leaving it open behind you. His earlier words still coursed through your mind. The mean ones, and the ones about his feelings for you, but as always, you swept them under the rug. You couldn’t face the truth yourself.

You felt something tug at your wrist, turning around to meet Rafe’s blue eyes once again. You thought they looked glossier, a sheen over them. Was he tearing up? No way, Rafe Cameron never cries. Not over this.

“Y/n,” he said lowly, a stark contrast from his previous shouting. “Tell me the fucking truth. Are you just saying this to fuck with me and make me question my relationship with Sofia?”

“No, Rafe,” you said honestly. “I know what I saw. This isn’t some ploy to get you to break up with her or be with me instead. I’m just trying to protect you.”

It was the truth. Despite how you felt about Rafe, you wanted the best for him. If Sofia was what was best, you’d support it. You almost wished you hadn’t seen what you saw at the dock. That way, you wouldn’t have to insert yourself in their relationship at all. You could continue to stand on the sidelines, watching his life pass with you becoming less and less present.

“Protect me,” he scoffed, mocking your words.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you asked harshly.

“Protect me from what, huh? My little poor heart being hurt?” he asked sarcastically. “It’s too late for that, y/n. You can’t protect me from anything when you’re part of the problem.”

You shook your head at him, at a loss for words. He clearly wasn’t done speaking, but you ran out of snarky retorts. You felt like you had whiplash from all the directions this conversation was going. He stared at you for a moment, his mouth slightly open, his hands running over his newly buzzed hair. You heard him release a quiet sigh, his head hanging down.

“No one will ever be good enough in your eyes,” he said, looking back up at you. “Not Sofia, and not me. I was never good enough for you, and Sofia isn’t good enough for me. So you can’t protect me from ‘heartbreak’, y/n. Because you are the problem.”

He pointed a finger at you, his teeth clenched together as the words left his lips. He turned around swiftly and walked back into his house, slamming the door behind him. Unable to process what just happened, you stared blankly in his direction, met with nothing but the front of his house. By trying to help, you somehow managed to make things so much worse, and so complicated.

“Now what?” you said to yourself under your breath.