#while being named 'Neil'

[herearedragons]

shoutout to Neilar's name btw. literally just an elfy-sounding keysmash on my part. it gets shortened to a Real Life Human Guy name. this is my first and main Inquisitor. what the heck /affectionate

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

bro what if you try to confess your love for me but then you get sent to superhell bro. bro but then what if i go into superhell to rescue you bro and then you get to finish your love confession bro. and then what if we leave superhell and are together for all eternity because i love you too bro.

[terrible-horrible-mind-of-aspen]

House mentioned and quoted Dead Poets Society in 8x22 and when I tell you I SCREAMED

[seventh-district]

so was anyone gonna tell me that Neil Newbon is the VA for Astarion or was i gonna have to find that out myself when he suddenly started uploading his playthrough of the game on YT

[blessyouhawkeye]

watched neil gaiman's new gay pandering show today and it's kind of indescribable. created by destiel king steve yockey and starring the actress who played rowena on spn. episode directed by legendary lesbian filmmaker cheryl dunye. canon fujoshi character who talks about her explicit yaoi. an amnesiac medium named crystal palace. gaiman's typical vaguely autistic hugely gay dandy who's never been kissed but also literally every man he meets wants to fuck him so bad it makes them clinically insane. also he's a ghost and died in an accidental demonic sacrifice in 1916. and he tries to confess his love to his best friend and is interrupted by being sent to hell. he then confesses successfully while his best friend is bringing him out of hell in a named orpheus and eurydice allusion. this show needs 12 seasons.

[whocaresstillthelouvre]

Harvest Moon

Rating: Explicit. 18+ (Minors DNI) Pairing: Jackson Joel Miller x Female Reader Word Count: 3,100 Summary: It's Joel's birthday and you're going to make sure he has a good one. Warnings: smut, fluff, dancing in the kitchen to neil young, unprotected p in v, public-ish sex (but under a blanket), talking to neighbors while sitting on joel miller's cock, apocalypse birth control (pulling out), fingering, riding, joel has a filthy mouth, no use of y/n, not beta read.

A/N: I spent most of tonight adding 2,500 words to this barely written piece. Now it's two hours past my bedtime, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOEL MILLER!!! This can absolutely be read as a standalone, but, this is yet another singular smut entry for my Elks babies. This was originally going to be posted as a birthday celebration chapter for that, but I really wanted to give Joel his gift on his actual birthday. Happy birthday you gorgeous old man, you. Hope you like the porn I wrote about you. ❤️🥴

Masterlist

🌕🌕🌕🌕

You’ve been looking for the CD since you learned of Joel’s love of the song. Tommy did it, he actually did it. Somehow by some miracle he found the CD. 

“Not a problem,” he gives you that same shy Miller lopsided grin. “Milt had it. Told me to tell you it’s yours to keep… said he owes you since you were his daughter’s favorite teacher ‘n all.”

“Thanks Tommy,” you say, barely being able to contain your excitement, “this is going to be amazing.”

“Of course. Should be thanking you really,” he shrugs. “It’s about time he had a good birthday.”

—

Joel said he’d be helping fix one of the greenhouses today, but you’re still scared to ruin the surprise as you unlock his door. 

“Joel?” you yell out into the quiet, seemingly empty house. 

No answer. Perfect.

Quick steps lead you to his CD player, the same one he first showed you how much he cared for you with. Now, it’s your turn to show him just how much he means to you. The disc tray opens and you place the CD into the system, you can’t wait to surprise him. 

—

“More coffee?” you ask, holding up the percolator.

He nods and smiles, happily sitting at the table full from the steak, potatoes, and cornbread you made him. He had insisted on sharing the meat, but you refused, happy to let him enjoy the first taste of steak in over twenty years.

Your friend Helen got her boyfriend Greg to cut a small filet of steak from the newly butchered cow. She handed it to you with a knowing smile. It’s nice to see everyone accept yours and Joel’s relationship. 

You lean over his lap, and top his coffee cup off. 

“Have I ever told you how much I love seeing you in a dress? Can’t believe you got yourself all dolled up for me.” He surprises you by pulling you onto his lap. 

“Careful!” you shriek, quickly placing the carafe on the table. “Yes, you have… many times. That's why I wore it.”

“Hmph,” he hums happily, burying his face into the crook of your neck, his arms wrapping securely around you. “Thank you for dinner–and everything sweetheart.” He presses a soft kiss to your skin. 

“That’s not all,” you giggle as he nips at a sensitive spot under your chin. 

He chuckles, his breath warm against your skin. “You’re so good to me.” 

You clutch his chin tilting his head up to meet your eyes. “You deserve a happy birthday.” His big brown eyes search yours, like he’s forcing himself to believe it. “Joel, you do.” 

He rests his forehead against yours. “I love you,” he sighs warmly.

“I love you too. Now, I have something else for you,” you slip off his lap and head towards your backpack. “It’s something small, I promise.”

You return with a bundle of fabric held behind your back. 

“Remember when you tore your favorite flannel and you tossed it in the rag bag?”

You place the flannel in his hands.

“Well, a certain girl named Ellie grabbed it for me. I mended it, reinforced the buttons, and sewed up a couple holes. It’s not perfect, but it’s fixed.”

He holds the flannel up and inspects it. “This is–wow–this–I can’t believe it.” He looks up at you, his eyes wide with adoration. “I was wearing this that first day I saw you, y’know? This is so sweet sweetheart, thank you.” 

He likes it, you thank your lucky stars. Your handsome Joel, here with you on his birthday, allowing himself to be taken care of. 

You know the story of his birthday, you’ve retold the tale to yourself every night as you anticipated this day. Afraid to upset him, afraid to cross a line, but all you’ve wanted to do is give him the world he so deserves. 

It wasn’t just you who thought of him today. It’s Tommy finding the CD. It’s Helen getting you the steak. It’s Ellie grabbing the flannel from the rag bag. He deserves all of it. 

“You’re welcome,” you say with a kiss to his forehead. “Now, put it on. I have one more surprise.”

He slips the flannel on as you head to the living room. The CD waits in the stereo. You turn it on.

The soft guitar and brushes of a drum fills the air as you turn the volume up.  

Joel’s huge smile greets you when you walk back into the kitchen.

“You– how?” he asks, unbelieving. 

“Asked Tommy and he found it for me. Milt had his greatest hits. Now,” you reach your hand out to him, “may I have this dance birthday boy?”

He chuckles and takes your hand, pulling you into him. The two of you sway along to the music, his strong arms enveloping you as your cheek rests against his warm chest. You can hear the steady thump of his heart beneath your ear. Your hands slip around his broad back, one of them trailing up to play with the soft curls at the nape of his neck. He sighs deeply before placing a tender kiss against the top of your head. 

“This is my favorite song,” he murmurs.

The sun has long since set, the singular lamp above the sink casts a warm dark amber glow across the kitchen Your shadows dance across the walls as you sway. He smells of coffee and sweet corn bread, like home and comfort. 

He starts to hum then softly sing along. His deep voice reverberates through your ear, pressed against his heart. 

“Because I’m still in love with you,  I wanna see you dance again,  Because I’m still in love with you,  On this harvest moon”

You can hear the contentment in his voice as he holds you closer. Moving in synchronicity with each other, gently stepping across the small kitchen as the harmonica solo plays. If you could stay in this moment forever you would.

You tilt your head up, and his eyes meet yours. The smile he gives lights his face. Lines crinkling at the corner of his eyes, dimple sitting deep on his cheek, mustache curving with his plush upturned lips. He serenades you with the same lyrics as before, looking deep in your eyes. 

“Because I’m still in love with you,  I wanna see you dance again,  Because I’m still in love with you,  On this harvest moon”  

His lips meet yours, thanking you with a gentle kiss. The man you love and adore, feels good on his birthday all because of you. 

The song plays on repeat, the two of you dance together, Joel gently hums and sings along as the harvest moon rises above the mountains. 

You gently pull away, unclasping his arms from around you.

“Come on birthday boy,” you say with a playful smile, “let’s go watch the stars.” 

—

You and Joel sit beneath a large plaid comforter on his porch. The early fall breeze that rolls down the mountainside leaves a chill in the air. The night sky is lit bright with the orange full moon. Most of Jackson is at the Harvest Moon Festival tonight, you can just make out the distant sounds of laughter and music flowing through the air from the main street on his porch. Ellie was especially thrilled about the teen sleepover happening at the Bison tonight, giving you both this rare moment of solitude in his backyard. She told Joel she knew he was in good hands with you for his birthday. 

And he is–or at least you’re in his good hands. 

“Oh, god,” you softly whisper into the night, you’re so tense from keeping yourself quiet. The stars are a little harder to see tonight thanks to the ambient glow of the bright moon, and yet you see stars whenever you squeeze your eyes shut while fighting the urge to moan. Joel’s deft, large thumb rubs circles against your clit while you ride two of his thick fingers. 

He’s driving you crazy like this. His large body and the blanket wrapped around you, overheating all of your senses in this chilly night. You’re completely covered, nobody would know that your legs are spread wide, one draped over his thick thigh while his hand is stuffed up your dress making you quake as he finger fucks you.

“Easy now, easy now,” he says nuzzling against your neck, his large nose charting a course across the sensitive skin. “Gotta remember where we are. You're the sweet, innocent teacher 'n librarian here. Lotta people look up to you, can’t have them knowin’ what my girl really likes when she’s with me.” Your hips slow their movement, he makes up for it by pumping you harder. “See, I can help, just gotta let me know you want it baby.” 

“Want to take–neyugh–care of you,” struggles out of your mouth. 

“You’re taking care of me right now, sweetheart, touching you is my favorite thing to do.” 

“Want to go inside… w-want to–want–to, want to feel you in my mouth,” you grip the straining bulge underneath the fly of his jeans. 

“Not yet,” he sighs deeply when you squeeze harder. “Like seeing your skin glow in the moonlight. What you’re doin’ now is enough, want to enjoy my night with you.”

Your hold tightens around his cock as you fight harder to suppress the urge to scream into the night. His fingers angle up hitting your most sensitive spot and you feel like you could explode. You’ll be the fireworks to celebrate Joel’s birthday. A whimper is fought by biting your lip, it’s so hard to not scream. His brown eyes look almost black in the low light as he watches you struggle and blink rapidly. 

“Shh baby, you’re doing so good, bein’ so quiet, don’t ruin it now. If anybody was out right now they could walk right on by and they’d have no idea what I’m doing to you under here.”

You’ve never done anything like this, so out in the open. Jackson is a peaceful town full of law abiding citizens, and right now you’re sitting on the back of the porch of Joel’s house getting felt up by him. 

“Joel… I–I’m gonna—”

“Cum for me baby.” His hot breath hits your lips before sealing his mouth against yours. Your cunt spasms against his thick fingers, you feel set alight by your orgasm, overheated and burning. Maybe you’re glowing just as bright as the moon. His tongue dances with yours, swallowing all of your gasps and cries. You’re sure at this point, anybody that walked by would know exactly what was happening between the two of you. You don’t care, all you want is to feel Joel’s cock inside you.

“Want you, Joel, want you so bad,” you mew as his fingers rub against your sensitive folds. 

“Okay baby, okay.” His fingers slip from your warmth before he brings his soaked digits to his lips. His eyes flutter shut when he tastes you. 

“Sweeter than birthday cake,” he declares before raising his hips and pulling his jeans down with a grunt. “Come here. Come sit on me.”

Your legs spread wide as you straddle his large lap with your back pressed against the warmth of his chest. He grips himself and moves the half hard heft of his cock against your soaked core, swirling his tip back and forth across your clit. 

“Tell me you want my cock,” he whispers against your neck, licking a line up to your ear. “Tell me baby.”

“I-I want your cock–I need your cock Joel,” you beg. 

“I know you do darling,” he chuckles deeply, lining himself up to your entrance.

The sounds of the festival go silent and the bright orange moon fades as you slowly sink down on his cock. Taking all of him, thick and throbbing into your tight cunt. 

“That’s my good girl,” he grits. “Your sweet pussy is taking me so well, isn’t she?”

Clutching your bottom lip tightly between your teeth, you try to fight the moan his words bring up.

“Oh, you must like that. You’re squeezin’ me so hard sweetheart.” 

You set a pace, riding him gently under the moonlight, his fingers gripping your hips tight. 

His hot breaths hit the back of your neck as your back molds even tighter to his front. His hand snakes down to rub your clit, small circles making your body meld even more against him.. The rhythm of his fingers and cock spearing you pulls another orgasm down from the ethers of space. Shivering, sweating, and stuttering Joel’s name, you’re trying to be good for him, trying to not scream into the night. 

“That’s my girl, grippin’ my cock so good, cummin’ all over me. Getting yourself nice and slippery so I can fuck you real good, huh?” 

“Mmf,” is the only response you can muster. Your cunt flutters around him, and he doesn’t relent, slowly fucking into you while his finger pulses against your clit. 

The sound of two people conversing approaches. Your movements come to a halt, Joel stays still, his finger still resting against your sensitive bundle of nerves and his cock sitting deep inside you. Hank and Billie, the nice couple that lives three houses down from Joel, walk past the porch. Both look over and wave a greeting. Fuck.

“Beautiful moon, isn’t it?” Hank says with a smile. 

“Quite.” Joel responds. The rumble of his loud voice radiates through you.  

“You guys get any barbecue tonight?” Hank asks. “It was really go–”

“We stayed in,” Joel gruffly responds. He subtly knocks his hips into you causing a wave of sensation to hit against your already cock-drunk pussy.

Your nostrils flare with a deep exhale.  

“Oh, well, there will probably be leftovers tomorrow,” Billie offers. “Tell them I sent you and they’ll give you the good stuff.”

“Thanks Billie,” you breathlessly reply, wishing on every star you’ve seen behind your eyelids, they’ll leave. “We appreciate it.”

“Best be getting home,” Hank says, grabbing Billie’s hand. “We both had a bit too much to drink!” 

Oh thank god.

“Enjoy your night,” Joel says plainly as he starts to slowly rock into you once they turn away. 

To the eyes of your neighbors, you and Joel just look like a normal couple enjoying the night sky cuddled together under a blanket… little do they know he’s filling you with his thick cock under the shield. 

“That was close,” he whispers against your ear before nipping it. 

Your giggle is cut off by a moan when he fucks into you harder. 

“Guess we shouldn’t take our time, don’t want to get caught, now do we?” he asks. 

“We can just–nyuh–go inside,” you plead, wanting to be able to moan and scream Joel’s name in the comfort of his home. 

“Gimme one more baby, gimme one more,” he grunts against your neck. “And then I’ll take you into my home and fuck you.”

His hips pound against your body, his thrusts bucking into your core harder. “That’s it baby, you really want me to take you in and lay you down ‘n fuck you, don’t you?” 

“Mmhmm,” you moan, your stomach tightening and thighs trembling as the universe splinters around you. Your orgasm rockets through your body. Color turns to black and white, noise falls silent. All that exists is Joel Miller and his big cock shattering you into a million pieces like your own personal big bang on the back of his porch. 

“Good girl,” he groans, “let’s take this party inside.”

—

The plaid comforter is laid out on the kitchen floor. Your wobbly legs move your still blissed-out body to Joel’s stereo, starting “Harvest Moon” on repeat all over again. 

You lean against the kitchen entrance, admiring Joel as he rests atop the blanket, naked and supporting himself on his elbows. No man over fifty should ever look as good as him. Broad shoulders frame his strong arms, his chest has a smattering of dark hair that trails down to the slight bulge of his stomach. His cock rests in between his legs, still hard and shining with your slick. He’s so gorgeous, and he’s all yours. 

“Come here sweetheart,” his voice is gruffer. “Lay down next to me.”

His dick twitches as you walk to the blanket and settle beside him. 

He moves over you, covering you with his warmth as he engulfs himself in your slick heat. Your legs instinctually wrap around his waist allowing him to take more. 

“Joel,” you moan. The angle allows his cock to push farther in and your walls to tighten harder against him. 

“Ooh, you’re so fucking wet, you hear that?” he asks incredulously. The squelch of your pussy soundtracks along to the song quietly playing in the background. “Sounds so fucking good baby.” 

He gasps when buries himself to the hilt, soaking the curly hairs around the base of him with your wet.

Your body trembles as your hips meet his, his cock sliding in and out of your cunt at a brutal pace. 

He takes no time to own you now behind the walls of his home. Your hands clutch at his wide back, sobs and screams of his name echoing out into the air as Neil Young softly sings in the background. 

You’re so full of him. His body surrounding you, his lips against yours, his cock pounding into your accepting cunt, his name chanting out of your mouth. 

“You want it baby?” he growls against your neck, his cock pumping in and out of your hole at a speed no man over fifty should be able to ever reach. “You want my cum?” 

“C-cum Joel,” you cry, tears sprouting from your eyes as your fourth orgasm launches through you. 

He gasps your name, pulling out of your tremorous pussy and shooting thick white ropes of cum across your pussy and stomach. 

His sweat is slick against your overheated body, you’re a mess of sweat, orgasm, and love. 

He kisses you, his tongue licking against yours before he rolls off you. His chest rising and falling as he catches his breath. “Fuck,” he pants, stretching his limbs out. “Gonna feel this tomorrow.” 

“Well, you are another year older, old man,” you tease, curling up next to him. 

“Yeah,” he turns his head to look at you. “I guess I am,” he sighs. “Thank you for–my birthday and–all of this. I can never put into words how much it all means to me.” 

“So I guess you’re still in love with me?” you tease.

“Always. Especially on this harvest moon,” he returns your smile. 

---

Tagging a couple people who had asked about this piece earlier this month: @almostfoxglove, @sawymredfox, @burntheedges, and @littlemisspascal 🩷🌝

[neil-gaiman]

Hi Neil, thank you so much for s2 (even though my heart is broken).

I did notice that in the Job flashback Aziraphale calls Crowley “Crowley”, while in the S1 flashbacks Crowley hadn’t told Aziraphale he changed his name from “Crawley” until the crucifixion. To be fair, Crowley also talks about lead balloons in the garden of Eden so I assume chronological order has limited meaning to ethereal or occult beings, but I was wondering if this was intentional.

Thank you!

Aziraphale calls him "Crawley" all the way through the Job sequence.

The subtitles say "Crowley". But I promise Aziraphale has it right.

[radfemsiren]

Internet culture is so fascinating because everything is out in the open, so concepts that feminists have been trying to make the general public understand are now in plain sight.

Do you remember the Bentellect situation? If his name does not ring a bell, that’s very expected. He was a low level TikToker that would make terrible react content of himself reading out normie humor tweets and laughing like it was the funniest thing ever written. The second he got followers he started exploiting that to pressure women into sleeping with him… and they released his sex pest DMs, making him a laughingstock.

With all these allegations coming out repeatedly of Cody Ko, Dr disrespect, James Charles, Kris Tyson, Neil gaiman, etc of men using the smallest amount of fame to immediately try to sexually exploit women and children … I’ve heard so many apolitical “normie” types say the phrase “Wow how come the second men get famous they immediately use it to try to fuck anything that moves?”

Like we’ve seen hints of this displayed out in the open with 2000s celebrity culture, and watching famous men switch out their wives to younger women immediately, or commit worse crimes… but they had enough power and influence to hide their misdeeds. It’s really not like that anymore.

Aesthetically and optically, it’s so extremely different. The words men would say to women in the dark are now on a bright screen, beemed to millions of people in the blink of an eye. Imagine being able to tell feminists that in the past. That there would be undeletable evidence that can be accessed by anyone in the world of the way men would abuse women in private.

My friends and I were walking to a dancing club last night, and were followed by a man in his car. We got our phones out and shouted we have his face and license plate and he immediately sped away scared.

Imagine telling women of the past that? Imagine telling them there are communities of women laughing and jeering at these imbeciles. From the safety of their own homes too! God imagine going the past and telling your ancestors that you spend your lunch breaks or quiet evenings relaxing and eating, while laughing at subreddits like r/menwritingwomen, what a luxury we don’t even realize we have! Of being able to mock and criticize men. Of taking them down from their flimsy pedestal.

The internet is making everything all out in the open, and while it can be scary when misinformation and propaganda spreads, it makes me have hope too that truth will also have so much more undeniable evidence to back it up constantly, instead of dissenting voices being quelled in the past. It’s difficult to see the hard evidence of female oppression constantly, but at least it’s being acknowledged, it’s being seen.

[les4elliewilliams]

can you pls write ellie talking reader through her first time having sex and just being really gentle? thank u!!

first time with loser!ellie ౨ৎ

✩ wc/cw: around 4k words ! tribbing bc😌, fingering + oral (r!receiving), corny pick up lines bc ellie's a nerd, happy trail and bushes<3 (i love body hair srry)...also shy reader??

!!mdni please!!

idk why but all i can think of is loser Ellie, so this is what you're gonna get. it sucks ass but it was fun to write so idc.

daily click・palestine masterpost・neil druckmann is a zionist・more daily clicks.

She's such a huge women's lover, worshipping your body like it's the only and the best thing she has ever seen in her entire life, and she's so gentle with you that it makes you go insane. She'll take her time with you, and she'll say the most random shit ever during it because she's a nerd and she's awkward like that (but mostly to make you feel comfortable, especially if she can sense how nervous you are). No one can convince me otherwise.

You've been together for a few months, but she'd get nervous and pull back whenever things got too heated between you two. She would touch you, palming your titties as she explored your body, but when it came time to take things further, she'd blush furiously and freeze up at the slightest sound that escaped your swollen lips.

It made her pussy pathetically throb, and she felt almost ashamed for how her body reacted at your every touch; she didn't want to pressure you into doing anything, telling herself that if you ever were in the mood, you'd make the first move or would let her know in a way. However, considering how shy you tended to be around her, she knew you wouldn't likely make the first move. Your nerves always got the best of you in her presence; you were too nervous to actually initiate anything.

She knew she had to be the first to make a move, so she decided to test the waters one day. Her touch grew significantly bolder, her hand slipping underneath the hem of your shirt and directly touching the sensitive skin of your abdomen. She traced delicate patterns over your flesh, her fingers trailing across your body with practiced ease before reaching your boobs. Your limbs tangled together, your bodies pressing against each other as you passionately explored each other's mouths. The heat between you intensified, and you could feel her subtly grinding against you, almost to get a reaction out of you and see how far you'd let her go.

Her room was always charmingly chaotic and managed but still retained an element of disorder. Light blue walls were adorned with cute science-themed decorations while a TV softly played in the background. A lava lamp sat on her bedside table, an obsession of hers that added a soothing ambiance to the room.

Her hand gently groped your breast, her mouth leaving yours to trail a series of sweet kisses down your jawline and neck, leaving you breathless and panting, your core heating up with a growing desire. The sensations sent a fluttering wave of pleasure coursing through you, stirring up a whole menagerie inside your stomach, with pterodactyls flying freely and your heartbeat pounding in your ears. It was both exhilarating and overwhelming, all at once.

"Ellie..." You spoke her name in a hushed tone; your voice was soft and silky like butter, gently drawing her attention and pulling her out of her intense focus. Her worry and guilt immediately surfaced; the last thing she wanted was to make you uncomfortable. Yet, to her surprise, instead of discomfort or unease, she saw a whole new side to you. Your cheeks were flushed, and your eyes held a passionate intensity that she had never seen before.

"Yeah?" She couldn't help but whisper, the close proximity creating an intimate atmosphere. Her green eyes roamed over your features, drinking in every detail as if it were the first time seeing you. A single auburn lock of hair fell to the side of her face, adding to her natural, effortless beauty. She was mesmerizing, yet she remained blissfully unaware of the profound effect she had on you.

You averted your gaze for a moment, your eyes drawn to her discarded, worn-out converses lying on the floor just a few feet away from the bed. They seemed the most captivating thing at that moment, distracting you from her curious but piercing gaze. She studied you intently, her intense green eyes seemingly trying to read your thoughts, and you couldn't help but feel even more vulnerable under her scrutiny.

Her voice carried a tone of concern as she questioned, "Did I go too far?" causing your heart to fill with a swelling sense of warmth. It was almost too good to be true that such a stunning and caring person like her could genuinely love you for who you were, embracing you with all your quirks and insecurities. It was a difficult concept to fully comprehend, and at times, you found yourself doubting her sincerity, unable to fathom why someone as amazing as her would choose to be with you.

"No, no, it's not that," you hesitated for a moment, your voice quiet and uncertain as you gathered your thoughts. There was a brief pause as you swallowed, trying to suppress the nerves that fluttered in your stomach. "I lied," you blurted out, your gaze hesitantly meeting hers.

Her eyebrows knit together, her confusion evident as she gave you a puzzled look. She pulled back a little, creating space between you as she sat down directly before you, her curiosity piqued. "'bout what?"

You let out a shaky breath, feeling a wave of embarrassment wash over you as you thought about the little white lie you had told her before the two of you started dating. Your fingers nervously fiddled with the laces of your shorts. "I actually never done it before," You mumbled, your voice barely audible as a hot flush crept onto your cheeks. The heat in your face spread down your neck and chest in a wave of embarrassment, leaving you feeling flustered and exposed under her gaze. You just wanted the ground to swallow you whole at that moment.

Lying wasn't something you normally did, but when she confessed that she had been with two other girls before you, a rush of insecurity coursed through you. You felt inexperienced and vulnerable, embarrassed that, at your age, you were still a virgin. It wasn't that you hadn't had opportunities before, but rather that you were never comfortable enough with someone to take such a monumental step. However, with her, it felt different. You felt secure and at ease, and trust blossomed between you. You knew you could confide in her and she would give you precisely what you needed, fulfilling your every desire and need. That's what she was there for, after all.

Her eyebrows shot up, an expression of surprise flickering across her perfect features. A soft oh escaped her rosy lips, her head tilting slightly with confusion. Her brows furrowed as she tried to make sense of it all. "Wait, why did you lie about it?" she asked, her voice tinged with bewildered curiosity.

You gave her a slight shrug of your shoulders, "I dunno...I guess I just- I didn't want to seem- I don't know, it's embarrassing!" You burst out dramatically, your eyes darting everywhere but on your girlfriend, who was looking at you in awe.

Did she care? Not a damn bit. If you only knew how seethingly jealous she had been when you told her you had done it with your ex-girlfriend before. She was downright pissy for a whole week, and you had no idea why. Surprisingly, though, she never said a word about it. She couldn't help but feel a sense of relief knowing that no one had ever touched you that way—that she would be the one to claim you if you ever let her.

She let out a relieved huff, her words tumbling out without a second thought, drawing your entire focus. "Thank god," she muttered, a weight lifting off her chest.

"What?"

"Nothing, just- I'm glad I'm your first," She confessed, her voice tinged with a hint of bashfulness, eliciting an airy chuckle from you. "If you want me to be, that is," She added; she was a tangle of nerves, fearing that she might be pressuring you to move too quickly, pushing you into something you weren't ready for. Yet, if only she could see herself the way you saw her—the desire for her radiating from your every pore, plain as day and utterly undeniable, practically written all over your features for any blind person to see.

You nodded in agreement, a shy but confident look in your eyes. "Yeah, I think I'm ready," you whispered, your words filled with nerves and excited anticipation.

"We don't have to do anything if you're not ready," Her touch was like a delicate whisper, her thumb gliding tenderly across your cheek, leaving behind a trail of reassurance and comfort.

"No, I'm ready, I promise...and I trust you," Your timid voice's gentle timbre sent a rush of butterflies fluttering through her stomach, causing her insides to somersault recklessly. The fact that you trusted her to take the lead and guide you filled her with a special kind of flattery. Knowing that your trust in her was absolute was a unique form of validation.

Ellie gave you a brief nod in acknowledgment before closing the gap between you with a sly smirk. Her focus remained fixed on your lips as she inched closer, her eyes never straying from their destination. "We'll take it slow."

"I trust you," You repeated, your voice barely above a whisper, the words escaping your lips in a hushed tone. Your gaze locked onto hers, and in that moment, you swore you could see her eyes sparkle with unabashed excitement.

Her lips landed on yours again, kissing you gently yet with a hint of urgency. Her fingers skimmed across the bare skin of your stomach under your shirt, "Stop me if anything feels wrong," She murmured softly against your neck, trailing a trail of kisses down your neck. Your hum resonated in response, a gentle vibration of contentment and pleasure escaping you in a small, involuntary sound.

Her mouth worked its magic on your neck, painting it with a constellation of small, colorful marks. It was as though she were an artist, and your body her blank canvas, eagerly accepting everything she had to give to you. Her hands never left your breasts, gently squeezing and pinching your hardened nubs as she left feather-like kisses all over your torso, claiming you all for herself. Her knee pressed lightly against your throbbing, drenched core, coaxing a soft whimper from your lips.

A few moments later, both of your bodies were bared to each other's eager and hungry gazes. She trailed soft kisses down your body, her lips lingering as they approached the edge of your panties. She paused to take in the sight of the dark, damp spot blooming on the thin fabric of your pink underwear, her eyes lighting up with satisfaction. With deliberate slowness, she pressed a kiss just above the waistband, sending a shiver through you. Her hands gripped your thighs gently but firmly, the warmth of her touch contrasting with the cool air. She spread your legs wider, positioning them over her shoulders, her green, dark eyes locked onto yours, filled with a mix of hunger and playful intent.

Her face, poised between your thighs, radiated with beauty as she looked up at you with a mixture of desire and adoration.

What a picturesque sight, she looked even better between your thighs.

Her cheeks glowed with a rosy hue, contrasting beautifully with the smattered freckles across her face. Her eyes were wide and expressive, her pupils dilated almost as if she was under the effect of some extremely addictive drug.

"I sure am no astronaut, but I'd love to explore your universe," You couldn't help but chuckle softly at her words, the sound escaping you as she continued to pepper your inner thighs with feather-light kisses, causing goosebumps to rise on your skin. Her fingertips danced tantalizingly along the waistband of your panties.

"You didn't just say that," You couldn't help but giggle in disbelief.

"Oh, I did," her lips formed a small, self-satisfied grin. She loved how worked up you were getting despite you trying to hide it.

"Such a nerd."

"Hmmm...'m not," She protested softly with a slight pout on her face, slowly tugging at the hem of your panties, a silent plea for permission to continue.

You caught on to her intention almost instantly. "Take 'em off." Your command was direct.  

"You sure about this, babe?" She asked, her fingers traced along the contours of your hips. Her gaze was locked onto your face, her eyes searching yours intently for any sign of discomfort. But there wasn't any. You wanted her as much as she wanted you, and you weren't going to back down. Not now.

"Very," you reassured her.

Ellie's promise to take it slow lingers in the back of your mind. True to her word, she was taking it slow—agonizingly, deliciously slow. Her lips wandered over your inner thighs, teasing and tormenting everywhere but the one place where your need burned the most. Each kiss, each brush of her lips, was a deliberate torture, making you grow more impatient by the second, not that patience had ever been your strong suit.

Only after pleading and begging did she finally give you what you craved. The wait had left you aching for more, and the build-up only made you wetter, if that was even possible—nearly soaking the sheets of her bed.

Her breath hovered close to your wetness, coaxing goosebumps to rise on your skin. Your bottom lip caught between your teeth instinctively. She gently explored your slickness with her fingers, collecting the essence of your arousal on her digits. Her smirk was a subtle hint of the satisfaction she felt, her expression one of quiet contentment as she admired the result of her touch. "Prettiest pussy I've ever fuckin' seen," she murmured under her breath, admiring your throbbing and aching core, which was begging for her touch.

You gasped sharply, your breath hitching as she touched you. Her touch was tentative and curious, trying to figure out what felt good for you and what didn't, observing your body language attentively.

Your hand instinctively found its way into her cinnamon locks, your fingers tangling in the soft strands as she feasted on you like a starved animal. She could feel the subtle twitch of your body and clit against her tongue; her movements were deliciously slow, each lick and suck intended to savor each drop of your essence and relish the taste of you.

She had been fantasizing about this moment for a while now, touching herself at the thought of it, at the thought of you writhing and squirming in her hands, moaning for her and giving her the prettiest sounds and expressions you had to offer. And it was just like in her little fantasy. You were so ethereal, so precious, so gorgeous. None of her ex's were even close to you, you were something else; tasting like you were the one for her.

"Feels so good, El," You couldn't help but let out a breathy moan; your hands found their way to her head, gently pushing her closer to your core. Her fingers tightened around the plush curves of your hips, digging into the soft flesh as she allowed you to guide her.

She moaned in response to your words, her middle finger gently teasing your entrance. Her green eyes flicked up to meet yours, searching for any sign to stop, but all she saw was your blissed-out expression. "Can I?" she asked, her voice breathless as she took a moment to fill her lungs with oxygen. You nodded vigorously, unable to form words, your need for her touch overwhelming.

She slowly slid her middle finger in, allowing your body to adjust to the sensation. "Does it hurt?" she asked, pushing it deeper in response to the slight shake of your head. Her eyes widened with amazement at how effortlessly her finger moved inside you, the slickness making it easy. You gasped, arching your back and bucking your hips against her in response, craving more of her touch. Sweet moans escaped your lips, sounds that once might have made her pause but now only fueled her desire. Your need for her was evident by every movement and ragged breath that came from you. The sound of your pleasure spurred her on, driving her to give you even more.

You were soaking her sheets, but she didn't mind one bit, too caught up in the moment. She hoped you wouldn't notice her subtly humping against the mattress, just as turned on as you were.

But you came first; she would make you feel good first. She could wait.

Her breaths grew heavier, mirroring your own, as she focused on your pleasure, her movements driven by both care and desire.

"No, it feels just perfect," you replied after a few seconds. You were a whimpering mess, and she loved it—she loved every second of it.

"You feel so good 'round my fingers...sucking me in like a black hole," She cooed softly, a coy smirk never leaving her face as she continued to finger-fuck you, adding another finger with a smooth motion. She was amazed at how well you took her, your body greedily sucking in her fingers. What a sight you were—she felt so fucking lucky. Every little twitch of your body was like a symphony to her senses, each movement driving her insane. Her auburn little bush glistened with her own arousal, dripping down her pussy and making a mess on her pastel blue sheets. Her eyes stayed fixed on your face, savoring every expression of pleasure you gave her, feeling the connection between you grow with every passing moment.

"You're so fuckin' weird," You struggled to speak, your words broken and punctuated by soft moans that threatened to escape from your lips.

"Is that any way to talk to your girlfriend?" She asked mockingly, her digits curling ever so slightly to reach that soft spot inside you. The movement coaxed a loud and filthy moan from your lips, echoing in the room mingled with the wet, rhythmic sounds of your slickness and her thrusts. A look of triumph flashed in her eyes, an expression you wished you could've ripped off her face.

"Oh my god!" your eyes squeezed shut as your head sank into the soft embrace of her pillow, her fingers hitting your g-spot over and over. Each sound that escaped you was a soft, needy whine. Your gummy walls squeezed her fingers so much that she could barely move them.

"Gonna cum, baby? I can barely move my fingers..." She observed your every movement, her eyes drinking in how your muscles tensed and tightened with each thrust; she could tell you were close. Her green orbs observed the subtle tells that gave away your imminent release—the arch of your back, the quiver of your thighs, your high-pitched moans. "You're doing so good, babe. Let it alll out," she encouraged you sweetly, her thumb rubbing your clit in a circular motion, slowly, not wanting to overwhelm you; she wanted you to enjoy every second of it, and she didn't wanna rush anything.

"Yes, yes! 'm so close, please," You pleaded, though you didn't need to. Ellie had no intention of stopping anytime soon. Her only focus was to make you feel good, to treat you as you deserved, and to pour her love and affection onto your body.

"Come for me, sweet girl. Can you do that for me?" She purred softly, her fingers continuing to tease and torment you, knowing it was a matter of seconds until you milked her fingers just like she wanted you to. You could only manage a frenetic nod in response, your words lost in a haze of pleasure. Your body arched towards her, your breath coming in short gasps. "Yeah?" she cooed. "Go ahead, beautiful. Let go for me." She guided you through the waves of orgasm, letting you ride her fingers until you came down off your high, your hips meeting her thrusts halfway with urgency.

Slowly, she withdrew her fingers from you, her lips enveloping each digit, sucking them clean. A low, guttural moan escapes her lips as she relishes the taste of you, finding it utterly intoxicating. You, an exquisite delicacy, have become her newfound obsession, a craving she knew would haunt her long from now on. Hopefully, you won't mind when she'll be begging on her knees to taste you once again. Begging you to let her make you feel good just so she could feel you twitch and throb on her tongue.

Her tattooed hand glided gently along your side, her lips bestowing soft kisses upon your thighs and mound, slowly trailing a path of affection upon your skin. She made her way to your lips, you could taste the remnants of your pleasure on her own as she kissed you lovingly.

She gently kissed your forehead, her hand still idly tracing patterns on your skin, shoving a few praises your way. "Did so well, for me," her tone was warm and caring. "So beautiful, so responsive." Her fingers lingered on your face, her touch almost reverent as she took in your flushed cheeks and disheveled appearance, looking even more beautiful to her eyes. "You taste so fuckin' good, I can't get enough of you."

A delightful darker hue staining your cheeks and giving you an almost otherworldly glow. Your eyes looked up at her, still glazed with ecstasy, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you struggled to catch your breath. "I love you."

She smirked, her eyes glinting with a playful sparkle as she straddled your lap, her body fitting perfectly between your spread-open thighs. Leaning closer to you, she spoke in a soft, sultry tone, "I love you more—Think you got one more for me?"

"Yeah, I can do one more,"

Those words were all she needed to proceed with her intentions. Her body hovered above yours, her movements controlled as she aligned her dripping cunt with your still-sensitive one. Your hands instinctively grasped her hips, guiding her to your desired rhythm. A low groan slipped past your lips as her hips started to roll and grind against yours, the sensation of her warmth and pulsating core pressing against yours causing you to arch your back and meet her movements with eager thrusts. You loved how her clit felt against yours, it was so pretty and puffy, and she was so fucking wet, so needy for you; it was adorable.

"Ooooh fuck!" You cried out, her head arched backward in response, a symphony of needy moans escaping her lips as she clung to the leg you had draped over her shoulder, using it to steady her movements. Your slickness mingled with hers, painting a glistening trail across your inner thighs. She loved feeling you; she loved how good it felt each time your clit kissed hers.

"You feel so fuckin' good, fuck," She murmured, her words punctuated by soft gasps as she continued to move against you. "Wanna feel you come all over my pussy" Her movements grew erratic, her hips moving more urgently against yours, the pace of her grinding becoming frantic and sloppy, using you to chase her orgasm. A constant stream of needy sounds fell from her plush lips nonstop; soft strands of her hair fell loose from her messy bun, framing her freckled and scrunched-up face. Ellie seemed so focused on her movements, trying to keep them steady and controlled but failing pathetically, growing needier and needier each second. Her expression was one of intense focus and desire, her eyes locked onto your face as she rode you with determination.

"Ellie, fuck," you groaned. "Slow down, 'm not gonna last," You gasped out a warning, your nails digging into her pale skin as your body began to tense up once again. The soft curls of her pubic mound soaked with both of your cum, your eyes silently admiring her cute happy trail, tracing it with your thumb.

"Me neither," her voice ragged and breathless as she increased her pace, grinding against you more forcefully and urgently. Her hips began to rotate, moving in a desperate, frantic motion as she sought to bring you both to your climax. Her free hand reached down to intertwine with yours, squeezing your hand tightly. "Eyes on me, pretty," She managed to utter, the words broken by cute little moans, her speech barely comprehensible. Your gaze slowly roamed up her body, taking in the sight of her toned abs and her pretty happy trail. You traced your eyes upward, taking in the sight of her perky breasts before finally meeting her face and locking eyes with her.

"You're so hot," You cried out in ecstasy, the words leaving your lips before you could stop it. She snorted in response, her eyes hazy and lidded as she looked down at you. Her mouth twitched into a lazy smile, revealing her pearly white teeth before she spoke.

"Have you met you?" Her voice was ragged and raw, the following sound escaping her lips like a gasp. She was flushed and breathless, her cheeks stained a deep scarlet hue, like tomatoes in the height of summer. But suddenly, her smile faded, replaced by a look of concentration as her brows furrowed together. "'m gonna-" but you cut her off.

"Me too," You whined as your other hand reached up to play with one of her breasts, your fingers teasing her nipple. The sensation elicited a louder moan from her, a melodic cry of your name that echoed through the room, her body arching into your touch.

You both came together, your cores clenching around nothing and twitching against each other in a mutual climax. The auburnette's movements slowed gradually until she finally collapsed by your side, her eyes wide and cheeks still flushed. She was completely out of breath, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to her ceiling. For a moment, neither of you spoke, both of you still reeling from the intensity of what had just happened.  

"Mind-blowing," Your words pulled her out of her trance, making her roll onto her side to face you. She propped herself up on her elbow, her eyes roaming over your flushed and breathless face as she spoke.

"Mind-blowing, hm?" she teased, a sly grin spreading across her lips as she leaned closer to you. Sliding her tattooed arm around your waist, she pulled you closer to her until your bodies were pressed together. She placed a gentle kiss on the top of your head, her lips lingering against your hair as she spoke. "You did so good, baby,"

"Did I?" She nodded in response to your question, a soft smile playing at the corners of her lips. Her hand brushed gently against your face, her fingers gliding softly through your hair as she swept loose strands away from your face. You couldn't help but stare at her, taking in her soft features and tender expression, feeling a pang of awe and admiration in your chest.

She gently caressed your face, the touch of her fingers like a subtle whisper against your skin. "You sure did," she murmured, her voice soft and affectionate as she kissed the tip of your nose. "You are one beautiful celestial body," she added cheekily, her tone laced with sarcasm. You chuckled and rolled your eyes at her, unable to keep the affectionate grin off your face.

"That's so dumb," She laughed along with you, her arms wrapping around you tightly as she held onto you like a koala clinging to a tree. She cuddled and snuggled against you, her body molding against yours as you settled into a comfortable embrace. As you gradually drifted off to sleep, you couldn't help but notice a stupid smile spreading across her face.

daily click・palestine masterpost・neil druckmann is a zionist・more daily clicks. (takes a second, fuckers)

[my-smial]

Hello hello. I have come with random The Sunshine Court language headcanons for Jean Moreau, because I cannot stop thinking about him.

Neil picks up on Jean's discomfort with speaking French at higher than a whisper and eventually decides to use Nicky's desensitization tactics about it. He ropes in Kevin, and the two of them will not stop yelling at him in French until Jean stops flinching whenever he hears it.

Neil lived in Montreal for 8 months; when he wants to get under Jean's skin, he switches to a strong Québécois accent and Jean acts like his ears are getting burned off.

Jeremy and a little Cat and Laila start learning French, mostly "picked up a tourist phrasebook at the library" level. It's 2008, they don't even have Duolingo. It's years and years before Jean deigns to actually speak French to him, but Jeremy eventually figures out that if he pronounces a phrase badly enough, Jean will correct him out of shear pain. Jean probably picks up that Jeremy knows more than he's letting on when he makes a comment in one of Jean and Kevin's conversations.

The most unlikely, but I find it fun: Jean's family is old money enough that they actually still speak the local Provençal language of southeast France. Jean mostly speaks standard French, but his parents ensured that he can carry a conversation in Provençal out of some twisted disdain for Paris as a power center. Evidence: this is also the kind of person who would name their child Jean-Yves, lmao, a name that was most popular in the 1960s.

Matching with 4, growing up speaking French, Provençal, and English in a massive port city means that Jean can get through a few phrases in most western Mediterranean languages. In addition, being raised as the theoretical heir to a smuggling empire meant he had to learn enough languages to "not get ripped off," as his father would say. He says he speaks 3 languages, because he's fluent in 3 (and it's common to consider Provençal just a backwards dialect, not a full language). But he can also understand random bits of Italian, Spanish, and Algerian Arabic. Some he learned formally, some he picked up from other kids while playing little league exy.

When he gets comfortable on the Trojan's court, he starts yelling back sometimes when little multilingual groups form and chatter, and every time he demonstrates a new language the Trojans lose their shit. Jean has his typical disdain for their excitement; his childhood exy court sounded exactly like this and he doesn't get why they're so impressed.

They keep pulling the "sorry, he doesn't speak English" trick to get annoying fans and reporters off their back for a long time after it should have stopped working. He's given full interviews, come on. Use your brain.

[double-aa-batteries]

things about about TSC I can't stop thinking about

"hindsight was a backstabbing bitch"

curtains symbolizing jeans healing journey, how he keeps them closed at Abby's in a effort to recreate the nest in search of some normalcy, how he opens them and looks out the window his new apartment, seeking calm in his overwhelm

"I want to go home" (13) meaning evermore vs. "I want to go home" (329) meaning to his apartment with Laila, Cat and jeremy

the fact that jean's phone is probably still in Abby's freezer

Kevin "their kindness matters" Day

Neil's smile is as unsettling to everyone else as it is to him and he has so much more Nathaniel in him than he recognizes in his own pov

Jean is so similar to neil in that they're both petty, dramatic bitches who care deeply about their teammates' safety

riko and the ravens quite literally took jean's name from him (Jean-Yves, Jonny, Paris)

"[Renee's] love was so tender it looked like grief as it curled her mouth and made her eyes shine"

jean gets forehead kisses from Renee and Cat

"that creepy little goalkeeper Andrew Minyard"

jean's many nicknames for neil: tiny bastard, tedious malcontent, abominable cockroach, wretched little runaway, ignorant child, etc.

Neil took the bandage off of jeans 3 and promptly stuck it over Kevin's chess peice

"I should have let him kill you," Jean said. "Probably," Neil agreed, "but you didn't, so here we all are."

"...aside from his outstanding murder charge, there was nothing interesting about that fox"

the fact that the point of tfc was to show characters who couldn't/wouldn't/ or were unable to heal from the trauma they had faced and yet from the very beginning and without question, TSC is about jean clawing his way forward and toward healing no matter what

the cheese drawer

dadmack dialed up to 1,000 See: "i will burn this house down before I let them touch you"

bisexual jean Moreau panicking over his teammates in swimsuits and Jeremy's long legs

"He's earned the right to be arrogant"

riko couldn't bring himself to hurt wymack because he was Kevin's father and Kevin was like a brother to riko and riko has always yearned for a father's recognition

Alvarez has a motorcycle and jean didn't say no to learning how to ride it

we know next to nothing about Jeremy Knox despite having chapters in his pov (why was he in therapy? why was his dad in France? what the hell did he do at the Fall banquet his freshman year to tear his family in half?)

that being said: Jeremy Knox is a rich boy with a butler

everything about Catalina Alverez

the fact that Jeremy knox has two brothers and one of them is probably dead

"rather than force the Trojans underground for that part, they simply built steps up and over it inside the stadium" the JUXTAPOSITION

Alvarez cooks and so now does jean

we know for a fact riko subjected Kevin to "subtler cruelties" while he was in the nest

"they never should have said yes when you asked" and "I didn't ask"

"as if you can tell a girl apart from a cow on a good day"

"permission to break his face, coach?" jean asked. "denied," white said.

all of thanksgiving pt. II

"alarm looked wrong on a face born for smiling"

jean casually saying "your apologies are as useful as perfume on a frog" to Lucas

Neil's whole relationship with Jean

David "I believe we all have the choice to be better than the hands that shaped us" Wymack

Neil generally being a menace to society but especially "Neil, being the person he was, pointed at the fire hydrant adjacent to it's front bumper and said, 'thats illegal, just so you know.'"

"the cracking heat in his chest could have been his ribs snapping or his heart breaking"

[palindrome-mystery]

After the ending of The Sunshine Court Neil is 100% on Jeremy's hate list.

The others don't understand why Captain Sunshine and Smiles who gets along with everyone absolutely hates Neil Josten and will scowl whenever his name is brought up.

Laila and Cat are just like, yeah he's a weird guy but he was on the run for 8 years from his mafioso father who tortured him and tried to kill him. Gonna be a little weird after something like that. But he seemed like a good sport when we played against his team last season.

But to Jeremy, Neil flew in from South Carolina to California with no warning, just texted Jean when he landed in CA that he was in LA and they needed to talk. The timing was already awful because Jean had just been attacked and Jeremy wanted Jean to stay home where he could keep an eye on him but Jean insisted that if Neil was here it was because Neil had no choice and Jean had to go with him. And Neil wouldn't step inside the house, just spoke to Jean in French so Jeremy couldn't understand and then they were off and Jean was gone for like 6 hours.

Jeremy was probably staring out the living room window for Jean to return. And when he finally saw Neil pull up to the house, Jean slammed the car door shut and ran up the stairs. Jeremy had the front door open for him ready to ask what was wrong and if he was okay but Jean was upset and just stormed past him. Jeremy went to him in their room and asked him what he needed and that's when Jean asked him "If I asked you to kill me, would you?"

And Jeremy is scared for Jean and pleads for him to let him help him. They get through the night, with friends and dinner at midnight, and the promise that Jean is not ready to talk about it yet but one day...

From then on Neil Josten is enemy #1 to Jeremy Knox because whatever Neil and Jean did that day made Jean want to die.

Nearly a year later, when Jean and Jeremy are finally dating, Jean has shared some tidbits about how his family was mafia and he had been sold to the Ravens and why he's scared of water and that he had a sister and that the broken trinkets and postcards he won't throw away had been gifts from Kevin who had tried to show him pieces of the world while he was locked in the Nest...

Jean is informed that it's time for him to testify against his family and soon the world will know that his family was mafia. Neil calls to offer to fly down and go with him in support since he had gone through the same thing.

Jeremy is scowling when he realizes Jean is talking to Neil, and when Jean hangs up he asks Jeremy what's wrong. Jeremy reminds him that the last time he spent time with Neil he came home saying he wanted to die.

And Jean is just, 'oh, that,' and proceeds to finally tell Jeremy that Neil found out Jean's family was going to get taken down. Neil came up with a scheme to get Jean FBI protection so he would be safe when his family was burned. He got his crime-boss uncle involved to get the FBI's attention, came up with a fake story of them being old mafia childhood friends, and got Jean protection from the FBI in exchange for his cooperation.

Jeremy is staring back at Jean slack-jawed because that is absolutely bonkers and how did Neil Josten orchestrate that and oh my gosh Neil had been protecting Jean he totally got it wrong and needed to apologize to Neil for the death glares he had been sending his way at the last banquet.

And then Jean adds, 'and he also put a hit on my rapist.'

[inhonoredglory]

Defining Ineffable Love (or, Aziracrow Learn the Rules of Romance)

(In response to this ask about ineffables and asexuality)

One of the major threads this season was Aziraphale and Crowley asking themselves what exactly is their relationship. Not what it is in terms of how much they love each other. (That's a given.) But what it is in terms of the human implications of their love.

Crowley and Aziraphale definitely come at the relationship with different perspectives, in terms of what they’re willing to admit to the relationship being. I don’t think we can entirely interpret it in human terms. –David Tennant (source)

For 6000 years, they’ve never put a name on their relationship. They didn’t, because they’re inhuman, genderless, sexless beings and they didn’t grow up (as it were) with labels. And even when they did learn them, they couldn’t say it was love, because admitting that was a death sentence.

All of Aziraphale’s heart eyes and pining could live comfortably in his mind if he never admitted what that said about him as an angel (trauma compartmentalization). Crowley tries desperately to be cruel and nasty to add white noise around the blatant reality of his constant loyalty to Aziraphale. If you don’t put a word to it, it’s not real and they can’t punish you.

After the Not-pocalypse, for all rights and purposes, Aziraphale and Crowley chose humanity as their identity. We see Aziraphale “playing house” in various human roles (as a landlord, a private eye, a magician).

We even see Crowley intentionally taking on human behavior to handle emotional issues: “Just breathe, that’s what humans do.” They’re slowly and intentionally enculturating themselves into the world they want to belong––earth.

Yet it’s setting up Maggie and Nina that makes Aziraphale and Crowley start thinking about their relationship as a human construct.

Because fundamentally, Aziraphale and Crowley are not human. Like Neil Gaiman tells us constantly, they can’t be defined in human terms when it comes to gender and sexuality. They can shift and move through each and any of those markers at will, purely for the pleasure of the thing: “angels are sexless unless they really want to make an effort.”

IMO that makes them originally asexual, in the sense they were created without the need for sex. And it makes them fundamentally transgender and genderfluid, because while on earth, their sexless, eldritch spiritual bodies take on human, gendered forms and clothing. What gender (and sexuality) they identify with while on earth varies through the eras. Crowley definitely has a fluid gender identity, while Aziraphale appears to have settled on gay man (aka THE southern pansy) for his internal typology (although all of these identities are subject to change).

In the midst of all this fluidity, it’s no wonder Aziraphale and Crowley haven’t thought of their relationship in human terms before. There’s just so much different in them and their bodies than what they see in humanity. And there are no books and songs that show the kind of love they have, in the malleable, sexless bodies they have, with the background they have; it’s all ineffable.

Aziraphale and Crowley didn’t start out thinking they were in a romantic relationship. Whatever feelings they had were long repressed, redefined, and shuttled away. But they did love each other, without question. And it was that love which scared them, because it was bigger than anything they saw among humans, a love that was beautiful and blasphemous and unfathomable.

Kinda like what David Duchovny said about Mulder and Scully in The X-Files, “I don’t know if they’re in love. In a way, their relationship is deeper than that, because they cannot live without each other.”

Now take this profound, ineffable love and drop it into the little boxes and labels human culture has created for itself.

Full disclosure: I’m an asexual demiromantic person in a queerplatonic relationship, so I’ve done a fair bit of research on what romance is and how the rituals of romance are, in many ways, social inventions that vary from culture to culture. There’s love and then there’s romance, and they don’t always overlap. So my interpretation of Aziraphale and Crowley comes through this lens and the fact that Neil Gaiman has affirmed the validity of an ace-spec reading on our ineffables.

Which brings me back to my thesis: That only now are Aziraphale and Crowley thinking of themselves as a romantic couple, precisely because they are interfacing with humans and taking on their social rules.

I like this one asexual person’s description of their experience, which feels very much like our ineffables (from a very good article, I def recommend):

If there is a border between friendship and romance, then in my internal landscape, it goes right through a misty forest where no one has ever bothered to place signs.... Neither of us had intended to start anything even vaguely romantic, but the activities we did and the intense kind of immediate connection we had was coded as romantic in our culture.

That’s what Crowley realizes when Nina confronts him about his relationship to Aziraphale.

“It looks like that from here.” What Crowley and Aziraphale share is beyond definition, but Nina cannot imagine the anything beyond the human labels she was taught. The tragedy of an everlasting love is that it can only be conveyed properly to other humans if it is cast in such small human words––partner, boyfriend, husband.

Because when Crowley denied those human roles for Aziraphale, Nina slid down the path of thinking Aziraphale was just his “bit on the side,” because there were no labels left she could imagine for them. If you don’t put a word to it, it’s not real.

That’s the purpose of labels, to culturally validate a person's identity. Labels, of course, DO NOT create reality; people's experiences are always real, in all their varied ineffability. But labels allow a space for culture (ie other humans and political and legal society) to recognize formally your lived reality.

So Crowley started really thinking about him and Aziraphale, about the ineffable love between them and realized that in human terms, those would be the things he’d call Aziraphale, because those were the words that gave Aziraphale that place of importance in his life.

But with that realization comes all the human trappings and behavioral patterns around those words (the candlelit dinners, dramatic rescues, drinks at the Ritz, etc.) which Crowley had never thought of before, and yet… maybe romance is what he and Aziraphale have been doing all along.

That’s why this season centered so much around Aziraphale and Crowley using cultural artifacts (film and literature) to understand romance, because romance is so deeply socially-defined.

Aziraphale himself has been leaning hard into the romantic social cues (he’s more well-read in the cultural trappings of romance than Crowley is), especially post-Blitz. But when he watches Maggie and Nina dancing, he works up the courage to do something with Crowley that’s even more explicitly loaded as “traditionally romantic” than anything he’s done up to that point.

Because while risking their lives for each other and defying everything for each other is love in its purest form, dancing (specifically in Jane Austen’s world) is a public performance coded for potential marriage partners. It's an intimate ritual of the entire body. (And in British slang, dancing has been used as a euphemism for sex.)

Crowley's "We don't dance" is really telling, because it shows Crowley’s awareness of the unknowable devotion between them vs the human roles Aziraphale is asking him to fill, specifically its physical aspects. Aziraphale is asking to make their relationship more public, more physically explicit, more coded as romantic in a setting specifically intended to couple individuals.

While Maggie and Nina inspired Aziraphale to progress their relationship into a publicly physical direction, Maggie and Nina inspired Crowley to think of the emotional implications of their human roles: the commitment, security, and monogamy of a husband, a partner, an us.

That’s what he decides after Maggie and Nina confront him in the end. “You never say what you’re really thinking.” He wants to codify his relationship so they each become responsible to one another. Aziraphale has always been his soulmate, the one he could always rely on. But he wants to place a word and a role to their love that will bring with it Aziraphale’s commitment and dedication to him.

And that's another reason why Crowley kisses Aziraphale, because he knows Aziraphale was willing to make their relationship physical, and he wants that, too. To consummate this bond in the way humans do.

But Crowley doesn’t really know how to kiss; he’s not as worldly as he makes out to be. (It’s Aziraphale who owns the gun, and Crowley who’s never fired one.) He uses the kiss as a tool to get across to Aziraphale what he wants for them, in the physical language Aziraphale has been using, because "one fabulous kiss and we're good," right?

But it doesn’t work, because real life and real emotions don’t work like that; life and love don’t follow a script, despite the novels and plays and songs.

Aziraphale and Crowley spent this entire season trying to figure out what their relationship is and what they wanted out of it, trying to make sense of the unfathomable thing they share and the human implications of it, and not quite landing on the same page.

Part 2 of this Analysis, covering a correction in Crowley’s statement (“You don’t dance”) and the further implications of dancing/sex.

[thepunchingbag]

I am such a sucker for Astarion x Karlach due to multiple reasons and I am going to list a few here:

Their stories are extremely similar in terms of being forced into servitude and their bodily autonomy being fucked with, their bodies being used as objects (Karlach's body being turned into an Infernal weapon, Astarion's being turned into an Infernal ritual component and as bait for victims).

They both value freedom to an incredible degree (understandably) - Karlach seems to abandon herself in the moment while Astarion is immediately afraid this freedom will slip through his fingers.

Effeminate man with macho woman. Hot and cold. Posh and working-class. Black cat and golden retriever.

Even if they romance other people, there is an undeniable warmth between the two of them. They're going to be friends regardless.

Astarion's response when Karlach falls in battle "Karlach! You can't die - I won't let you die!" He sounds like he's WEEPING, Neil Newbon really delivers the "his heart is breaking and he's panicking" perfectly.

Her pet name for him is "leech".... just... fuckin' hell, Karlach. I love her.

They call each other "darling" unironically when romanced.

However, I definitely think Astarion can be very hurtful towards her, and his comments come from a place of vulnerability. There is SO much subtext to their relationship, and the devnotes really shows that. She offers a chance to take things slow, to remove sex from the early stages of the relationship, and he desperately wants that. He has no idea how to navigate this type of relationship, and he lashes out. I also love Karlach can push him right back ("Want to try that again without being a jackass?"/"Enough. You can't talk to me like that."). The fact he apologizes and admits he enjoys just talking with her. I dunno, like other people have said, it feels healing...

They also compliment each other's struggles since Astarion literally cannot touch her, so his usual seduction routine falls flat. Karlach is touch-starved but it's a rewarding alternative to take things slow, that she can feel a genuine connection. She's spent a decade in the Hells where genuine connections like friendships and romance are essentially a death sentence - you can never let your guard down - and now she finally can. Like, they both basically have to learn how to take things slow.

[sun-archeron]

THE SUNSHINE COURT SPOILERS

finished reading the sunshine court at 2am, so now here are some of my thoughts on it

im very glad that the romance between jean and jeremy isn't being rushed

but i am concerned on how much jeremy will learn abt the moryamas and moreaus, i feel like he isn't built for this,but for jerejean to work he has to know the truth

cat is now one of my favorite characters of the aftg universe, she's amazing

before, while i apreciated jean's role, i didn't particularly liked him, but now he's up there in my top 2 with neil

also, nora was not lying when she said jean and neil are very similar, i will have to reread the whole series soon so i can mark all the parallels between them

i'm very interested to see the evolution of cody's situationship with that couple (sorry, horrible memory, already forgot their names)

that scene with grayson gave me so much anxiety, wtf was that, i hope the hitman that neil hired makes it painful

and on that topic, neil was so iconic in all of his fifteen minutes of appearance, it was really nice to see him from an outsider pov, but i hope to see him from jeremy's pov in the future

wtf is going on with jeremy and his family?? babes if you want jean to open up you gotta lead by example, tell us what's going on

and renee being jean's "in another life" aaaaaaaaghhh, i didn't even care abt this ship before, and now they're making me suffer

[ilomilodailystuff]

Okay. I see the fandom panicking and even starting to destroy itself...

For the ones who still love GO and would continue to love it as they always did but is judged because of ONE☝️ person's actions that might or might not be true, know you're safe here and I wouldn't judge you for loving GO despite Neil's accusations.

Because you gotta keep in mind that this show AND book are also Terry's. And you have to keep in mind that Neil wasn't alone in that project. Think about all the people that worked on the show, whether it's the crew or the actors. They're absolutely innocent, so why would you spit on their work as if they were guilty too ? Of course none of them would support Neil's actions if it's true, that doesn't mean we have to throw every poster or book or drawing or delete every fanfic or even stop writing fanfic because of this as if everyone were in the same boat.

These accusations are about Neil and Neil only and I would find it kinda sad that this story would be thrown away despite Terry had worked on it too, despite it also was in his memory. Ofc, if it's true, it's obvious Terry wouldn't be okay with it either but does that mean a story fully achieved and their characters have to be condemned with Gaiman ? Mostly when now, a lot of illustrators, writers and animators made it their own ? Mostly when it somehow saved many people's lives ? Mostly when this book or show had made people laugh and cry ?

This fandom is stronger than that.

Let's not mix everything.

Would you find it appropriate to talk about GO to the victims ? Obviously, no. For the sole reason that it's not. the same. thing. We have to put things back in their places. GO is GO, harassment and s*xual aggression are what they are. And it would be incredibly disrespectful to mix both.

So, my point is. Don't be ashamed to love GO despite what's happening. Don't feel guilty for supporting a show while you don't support the author. Don't let the fandom die because of one person's actions when there's so many people who worked on it almost just as much. I understand you're upset, I understand you'd think it might be hypocritical to love a show with the creator being accused of horrible things. But make the difference.

And I can assure you, if Neil is not guilty (and if he is, I hope the victims will get justice and Neil will have what he deserves) I'm pretty sure that he's not thinking about Good Omens at all right now, but just thinking about sorting this out and clearing his name as every innocent person would need to do so.

So, whether the truth is hurtful or a relief, let's keep the GO fandom going. For if it's hurtful, we will make Terry's story alive for his and many people's sake, and if it's a relief, we would have been doing things right by not jumping into conclusions.

Either way, you're welcome here and you're safe with me. Keep loving. Spread some joy. Don't let Neil's possible actions stain a wonderful story that is not only his own ❤️