#while aware of flirting this is just me being besties

[deityofhearts]

I think one of the dumbest and funniest things is that I am apparently unintentionally flirty?? like what do you MEAN how i speak can be read as me flirting I’m literally just opening my mouth and saying shit besties

[artsyannierose]

Talk to me about how Angel always being scared of ruining his first healthy relationship (with Husk) so he tries to be as “easy to love” as possible but Husk loves him flaws and all:3.

(Btw I cherish your doodles)

Huskerdust doodle just for you anon <3

I COULD TALK ABOUT HUSKERDUST ALL DAY ANYDAY YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT PERSON

Well let’s see hm Angel has had little to no experience in relationships

Like bro was a closeted gay when he was alive and presumably had no proper “relationships” with anyone other than Valentino and…well we know how that turned out

So he probably is going to have a hard time even comprehending the fact that Husk even loves him for who he is as a person and not to bed him like literally everyone else has

Like honestly when was the last time ANYONE gave Anthony/Angel Dust aftercare??? I’m willing to bet never. Everyone he’s ever slept with never stayed till morning or let him get even maybe a glass of water, he was just kicked out after business was done and done. Then he would just cope with all of it with drugs and Valentino I assume

Now he’s got a man who already made it clear that he doesn’t want this fake Angel Dust persona that everyone else wants to sleep with because of what they see on their TV screen, but is rather interested in getting to know this broken boy behind the facade. Nevermind the fact that they are together, Husk is first and foremost his best friend (aside from Cherri but like Cherri is his bestie to get into shit with yk) and the kind of understanding they share is way beyond “yeah you’re hot let’s fuck” like Husk is no fuckbuddy if hes fucking Angel then obviously he’s there to stay (which i love about him)

So Angel’s automatic response because of the derogatory way Valentino has treated him would be “omg I can’t mess this up i canNOT mess this up” and he would do everything in his power to make sure Husk is thoroughly comfortable and never shows any signs of disgust or such if ykwim. Husk is a bit too flustered at Angel flirting a bit too much? He’ll dial it back tenfold. Husk pins his ears back at listening to Angel vent about Valentino doing something shitty to him? Angel will change the subject. He’d probably be so overly cautious about Husk’s little reactions that Husk probably isn’t even aware of himself

Because the problem now is Angel thinks Husk loves him for how Angel makes him feel rather than Husk loving him for who he is. He’s just. In denial man. So he tries to basically “pay him back” by being the perfect boyfriend, and i say this assuming they HAVENT slept with each other yet because if they haven’t figured this out Husk would probably say its too early lmaooo. So when I say being the perfect boyfriend, i mean like cuddles and kisses and helping each other out, venting, all that cute stufffff

I’m sure Angel is just trying to doeverything he can without like alerting Valentino to the two of them because BOY that would end badly.

Anyway one day Husk asks him why he’s not really being himself (because of course Husk can read him because why couldn’t he) and Angel’s like “wdym” and Husk just prompts him like “you hide all the bad parts from me much more now than before (like before they got together) and maybe Angel isn’t even aware of this until Husk points it out. It’s gonna take him a second to open up just because he’s not used to it but Husk just makes him comfortable, he’d total all put Angel in his lap and just purr until he’s comfortable nskdnfssfiwvagfjnderhgr

Angel finally pours out his insecurities like a tide and hides his face in Husk’s chest while everything just comes out once he’s started. After hes done he would say something like “I didn’t want you to see me like this…im so sorry” but just bury himself further into Husk while Husk is just taking a second to process everything he just said.

Hed probably do something sappy like tilt Angel’s chin up and peck his lips before telling him “What makes you think I wouldn’t love you past your fears and flaws?” (IDC I WANT SAPPY IM. HERE FOR SAPPSYYPYYPY)

Hold on holy shit creativewriting burst right here SHORT DRABBLE YALL I WILL REBLOG THIS WITH A SMALL FICLET

ANYWAY YES HUSKERDUST ANGEL PROBABLY WILL STYART CRYING AND HUSK WILL JUST CUDDLE HIM CLOSER AND WHISPER SWEET NOTHINGS WHILE ANGEL CRIES ABOUT HOW MUCH HE LOVES HUSK

GOSHHHHHHH I love them sm I’ll shut up now ok bye

why can I write an essay for Huskerdust for free and not write one to save my English grade-

[da-rulah]

The Mayor's Daughter - Mary Goore x f!Reader [Part 6]

Summary: It was only a matter of time before you asked to see Mary's band, but he can't help the rising anxiety that you might just hate what he does… Still, he concedes, and you head to their show with him. If you thought Mary was hot before, oh boy… Now he's irresistible.

Rating: Explicit, 18+

Word Count: 12.3k

Warnings: Teasing, sexual tension, cum play, sexual harassment, unwanted physical contact, use of a homophobic slur, violence, oral sex (m receiving), throat fucking, masturbation (f), cum swallowing, cum play 

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7 | PART 8

ALSO AVAILABLE ON AO3 | MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

A/N: Well, look who's back... Mary's here. 😈 Thank you to all those who've waited to patiently for this next chapter. I hope you won't be disappointed... As always, thank you to me besties @her-satanic-wiles and @angellayercake for their encouragement and beta reading services - I adore you both.

AND, this one's dedicated to @kissingghouls, who had a birthday during the week and tested a little snippet of this chapter out for me 👀 I hope you love the rest of it 💕

You could have lay there all night. Truthfully, you couldn’t think of anywhere else in the world you’d rather be right now besides buried in blankets and pillows in Mary’s arms, looking out at the moon rippling across the water of the lake. The radio still played from the cab of his van, and you were content to listen to Mary singing along to his favourite songs under his breath.  

You could feel him vibrating beneath you as he sang, your back pressed to his chest and laying against him between his legs. Every so often, he’d press a kiss to the side of your head, or readjust the way his hands lay across your stomach with his fingers intertwined with yours. You were just so comfortable, never having felt so safe and wanted before.  

“Do you sing in your band, too?” you asked him, fiddling with the rings on his fingers absentmindedly. 

“Hm? Oh, uh... Yeah I guess I do.” You turned your head to look at him, suspicion creasing your brow. 

“You guess?” 

“Well, it’s kinda more... growling? Some screaming. Bit of singing,” he shrugged, a little sheepish. 

“Aw, and here’s me thinking I was the only one you growled for,” you teased, which earned you a laugh.  

“Well you’re the only one who can drag it outta me like that,” he flirted, bouncing his eyebrows and planting a lingering kiss to the top of your cheek.  

You got comfortable again, settling into his chest and wrapping his arms tighter around you. A few moments of blissful quiet passed as you thought about him on stage; what would he sound like? Look like? Was he good? You wanted to know. 

“I wanna see you play,” you said earnestly. “when are you playing next?” 

Mary clammed up a little behind you, suddenly wracked with insecurity and anxiety at the thought of you coming to one of his gigs. It’d feel pretty shitty if you didn’t like his music, and he was very aware that it wasn’t for everyone. While you never complained at the heavier stations on his van radio, you also didn’t strike him as the type to enjoy death metal. You were merely being polite, he was sure of it...  

But then, this was him stereotyping again. Consciously now, he could see it and call himself out before the words left his mouth.  

“Uh... We actually have one on Saturday.” You noticed the nervousness in his tone, the hesitation. You understood why; it must be a little scary to show someone you care about the passion that drives you as fiercely as music drove Mary. 

“I don’t have to come if that’s too soon, I get it,” you tried to reassure him, turning around and smiling sweetly at him. But even that was enough to quell some of his anxiety, just your consideration.  

“You know what?” he sat upright then, angling you a little better while the blankets wrapped around you fell to your waist, exposing you both to the colder night air. “I want you there. Even if you hate us, be nice to see a pretty face out there for me.” 

You rolled your eyes at him playfully, “You just want a groupie, huh?” 

“Hmm, maybe,” he hummed, grinning cheekily and leaning into you to press his lips to yours. You giggled against his lips, letting him curl around you as you melted into each other. It felt so easy to you now, so unbelievably natural. You had to ask yourself why you had taken so long to get here. You could have had this all long, if the pair of you weren’t so stuck in those stereotypical little bubbles of yours.  

But you were here now, and that’s what mattered. Not without its future flaws, you were sure, but it was a start.  

Mary finished off the last song of practise without issue. By now, the band knew every song inside and out, so band practise was only ever a formality, or an excuse to get together and jam. But Davey always called one just before a show, in case there were any issues to iron out and to put together a running order for the setlist. He had a unit where they practised often, all their stage equipment stored in there save for their guitars. 

“So where you been, Goore? Dropped off the face of the earth lately. Last time I saw you was days ago at the garage...” Forrest smirked with an accusation brewing behind his eyes – Mary could tell. He continued winding up the cable in his hands to avoid his eye contact, shaking his head with a smile he could barely hide no matter how hard he tried. That’s what thinking of you did to him. 

“Ah y’know, about,” he avoided. 

“Bullshit, you got a call and bolted. I remember.” 

Mary’s arms slumped by his sides in exasperation, the curled up cable flapping against his thigh.  

“Yeah, and before that last time we saw you was the bicentennial... Fuck’s up with you?” Jed was interested now, shoving his drumsticks into his beat up old backpack that had seen better days. Even Davey who was slotting his bass into its case very carefully – that thing was his baby, often reminding everyone it cost more than their rents combined – was suddenly very interested in where the elusive Mary Goore had been the last couple of weeks. 

“You can’t even hide the smile. It’s a girl, ain’t it?” he chimed in, teasing him like a kid in a playground. “You gone soft?” 

“Nah just had a lot of guitars to work on at the shop lately,” Mary shrugged, tucking the cable away into his own guitar case. 

“Your pants are scorching right now, Mare...” Jed grinned, hopping up to sit on an amp stack.  

Mary finally stood up straight and sighed, looking around at the guys who all had expectant looks on their faces. He knew he’d have to tell them eventually – they were only going to meet you in a few days anyway. He can’t hide you forever, especially when he’d been so sensitive about being hidden himself in your world... He was many things, but a hypocrite he was not. 

“Alright, fine... Yeah, there’s a girl.” The nerves were evident in his voice, quieter and a little stuttery. Of course, the guys all jumped down his throat with “ooh”s and “wheeey”s, Jed even shoving his shoulder in a weird masculine display of celebration.  

“Been holed up somewhere with some broad, ey?” he waggled his eyebrows at him. “Come on then, who is she?” 

Mary was clamming up, having no idea how they were going to react to this. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and shuffled on his feet. Forrest noticed his change, and squinted at him as he observed.  

This wasn’t like him. Forrest was the most mature of the guys, had known Mary the longest – since they were kids – and he was very aware there were multiple versions of him. The front he showed the world, and the sensitive and broken guy underneath. Seeing him get nervous about a girl though... that had never happened before. 

“You wouldn’t really know her, she’s not really... from our circle...” Mary dodged the truth as long as he could, but it was inevitable.  

“Yeah no shit, between us we’ve exhausted our “circle”,” Davey laughed, making air quotes with his fingers. Mary winced at the thought of his promiscuous reputation; not a past he was all that proud of... 

“You remember back at the bar, a few weeks ago...?” he started, and Jed jumped in immediately. 

“That girl you stormed right past? You went back?” He leaned forward where he sat on the amp, excited to hear the gory details he definitely was not getting.  

“No-” 

“No fucking way,” Davey jumped in, recalling the night in question. “You’re still fucking her majesty?”  

“She’s not-” Mary tried to get a word in, but Davey and Jed were having too much fun with this, interrupting him. 

“The Mayor’s daughter? Fuckin’ hell, Mare,” he laughed with uncontained glee at the prospect. “I know she’s a hot piece of ass, but seriously? Girls like her ain’t into guys like us.” 

Mary’s fists clenched at his sides. It was becoming clear the stereotypes were not contained to just you and him, but you’d both grown up in a world perpetuated by them. Forrest watched the scene unfold quietly, observing Mary’s reactions that were so out of pocket for him. 

“Well she did fuck him in a public bathroom that night, Jed,” Davey joined Jed’s delight. “Daddy’s girl’s got a kinky side.”  

“Shut the fuck up, Davey,” Forrest interjected on Mary’s behalf. Everyone’s heads whipped toward him, including Mary’s. “Fucking neanderthals, man...” The smiles from their faces were wiped clean, their proverbial tails hanging between their legs.  

Forrest walked to stand beside Mary, folding his arms across his chest. “This could be a dangerous game to play, Mare. If her dad finds out...” 

“He already kicked her out. For... other reasons...” Mary didn’t want to divulge too much of your shit to them, that wasn’t his place. He feared he’d already said too much when he saw the looks of shock and confusion on their faces. “She’s been staying with me the last few days.”  

“Move pretty quick, don’t you?” laughed Jed, who was thrown a look of caution by Forrest and immediately shut up again with a mumbled, “sorry”.  

“So you like her then, huh?” Forrest enquired with a smug smile. Mary nodded, biting his thumb nail. “She coming to the show?” 

Jed snickered at the thought, effectively saying “yeah, as if she’d be into our music” without having to say the actual words. Mary shot him a warning glare. 

“Yeah, she is actually,” he didn’t take his eyes off Jed, just begging him to say one more shitty thing. He didn’t.  

“Nice, well I’ll train the apes up and have ‘em civilised for the lady. Don’t worry about it.” Forrest slapped a hand on Mary’s back in support, heading back over to pack up and clicking his fingers in the other’s direction to get them moving too.  

Mary was grateful for Forrest stepping in like that. There was a deeper bond with him than the others, not just on account of the longevity of their friendship, but he’d been there through all of Mary’s shit. For a long time, Forrest was the only friend he had and if anybody understood him, it was him.  

Forrest had his own shit too – neglectful parents, like Mary, but in different ways. High-powered, career driven types. They’d leave him with a nanny and swan off on business trips and fancy vacations, so he knew loneliness in his own way too.  

While his friends were always a good laugh, Davey and Jed just weren’t on quite the same wavelength. Where Forrest and Mary had matured a little, grown up with a smidge of respect, they were trailing behind. They were still young men, trapped in rebellion, angst and male bravado. They needed reigning in from time to time, usually by Mary’s or Forrest’s hand but on more than one occasion they’d had their asses kicked outside a bar for their mouth. The point is, they were learning. Slowly, but they were learning...  

Once the guys packed up their stuff – largely in silence – Davey and Jed muttered a ‘see ya later’ as they filtered out of the unit, but Forrest hung back as Mary rolled down the shutters and padlocked them shut. 

“Hey Mare, does uh... Does she know?” Forrest asked, his voice low as the others walked down the alley of other units just ahead of them. 

“Know what?” he asked, a little confused. “That you guys made a bet with me the first night? Yeah she knew that then, we laughed about it,” he shrugged.  

“No, I didn’t mean that,” Forrest scratched the back of his head awkwardly. He hated bringing this up, it was such a sore subject for Mary... “Does she know... what her dad did?” 

Mary’s eyes widened as it hit him – no, you didn’t know that. Mary hadn’t divulged that much to you, and he didn’t exactly intend to...  

“No. She doesn’t need to,” he shrugged nonchalantly, avoiding the subject. Forrest didn’t press the matter, not wanting to drag Mary down that road any more than he already had. Instead, they took a few steps in silence.  

“So go on then, tell me what she’s like...” Forrest nudged his shoulder as the two of them walked out to the parking lot. Mary smiled at the ground, babbling and singing your praises for as long as Forrest would allow him.  

Watching Mary apply his make-up was becoming one of your favourite past times. He was so particular about it, specifically tonight as he applied it in the dingy little mirror in the corner of their dressing room. Day to day, he cared a little less but tonight was important – every gig was, to him.  

It became very apparent to you very quickly that he took his shows very seriously. As much as he was there to have fun, this was more than just a hobby to him. He wanted this to go somewhere, to make something of himself. This was a dream that he’d worked his skinny little ass off for, and so everything had to be just right, his before-show rituals performed the same as always.  

But there you sat, watching him from the battered two-seater couch in the room as he added the final touches to his skull paint. He pulled back from the mirror, looking at his reflection and smirking with a nod of satisfaction. But then he caught you in that mirror behind him, watching him without an attempt to look away.  

“Lookin’ good, Goore,” you told him, leaning forward on your elbows, chin resting in your palm.  

“I guess, but it’s missing something...” He seemed unbothered, making no move to add any more paints.  

“The blood, right?” you asked, but he shrugged.  

“Wanna try something new. Get over here, doll,” he instructed, beckoning you over. You rose from your seat, closing the distance between you both. He leaned back onto the sink, folding his arms over his chest as you got a little closer than necessary, stood between his feet and leaning your hands on the edges of the sink. Mere inches separated you, and you waited for him to continue. 

“That’s a pretty shade of lipstick you got on tonight,” he flirted, pulling your bottom lip down with his thumb and inspecting the red residue that lingered on it when he pulled back.  

“You should recognise it, not the first time I’ve worn it for you.” If he remembered right, he’d know you wore it the first time he’d snuck in through your bedroom window; the same pretty shade of blood red. “You asked me back then if I thought it would look good on you, and then you kissed me.” 

“I did, didn’t I?” he mused, feigning thoughtfulness. “And it did look good on me...” You giggled at that, and it damn near sent Mary to his knees right there and then. He would never get fucking tired of that giggle. “Have you got it on you?” he asked, before he could get too distracted by that pretty little sound. 

“Of course,” you said, patting the little purse hanging from your shoulder and down by your hip. 

“Good, you might need a touch up when I’m done with you,” he smirked. “Think you can make some pretty little lipstick marks for me?” You nodded, moving in to kiss him immediately but he stopped you, his finger on your lip. You pouted, sagging your shoulders.  

He pulled his finger from your lips and pointed it to his cheek bone, where the black met the white of his thin and chalky paints. You took the initiative, and stood up on your toes to reach, planting a very deliberate kiss to the area. When you pulled back, you marvelled at your work; the prettiest lip stain sat where you’d pressed your lips against him. Mary turned his head to look sideways into the mirror behind him, smirking at the transfer.  

“Perfect, need more though,” he said, turning back to you and pointing now at his jawline on the other side of his face. You obliged eagerly, lingering just a little longer this time and pressing your body against his where he leaned on the sink. You could feel his body tense under you, like he was trying to act cool and aloof but fighting an urge rising inside him... 

“Can I choose a spot?” you teased by his ear, letting your breasts press into his chest just a little...  

“Choose wisely, doll...” he warned, with no real warning behind it whatsoever. But you already had a spot in mind...  

You tucked your head just under his chin, letting your warm breath fan over the expanse of skin around his neck before gently placing your lips directly over his Adam’s apple. You felt it bob as he swallowed with anxiety, the tension of holding back his urges to devour you becoming almost unbearable. You loved that you had this effect on him... He was supposed to be this cocky, self-assured little badass; so how come you could have him tensing and straining with just a few simple, light kisses? Because you drove him wild. 

You lifted your hands from the edges of the sink, instead settling them on his waist while you parted your lips against his neck, letting your tongue lap at the skin briefly before pulling back with a smirk just as he let out a hum of satisfaction. You saw his head thrown back, his eyes shut just before he realised you’d disappeared and snapped his gaze back to you. The look on his face was priceless, silently asking you why the hell you’d stopped.  

“Didn’t wanna smudge it,” you shrugged, smirking. 

“You fucking minx,” he chuckled.  

“One more,” you told him, digging through your purse to add another layer of red to your lips so you could leave the most definitive print this time. Then you leaned in one more time, as if you were going to kiss him on the lips – which frankly, by now, he was desperate for. But you dodged his advance and pressed your lips just to the corner of his mouth, planting a firm, red lip stain so prettily for him.  

“There,” you leaned back, still crowding his space and holding his waist, “looks good.” 

“Not fair of you to tease me like that when the guys are gonna be here any minute, and I can’t bend you over this sink and fuck you dumb,” he growled, knowing full well the effect only his words had on you. His brash vulgarity was such a turn on to you, especially now that you’d experienced Mary’s sweeter side, his tenderness and gentility. He was like Jekyll and Hyde, and knowing what a softie he could be when feelings were involved, it was all the more exciting when Hyde came out to play... 

He pinched your chin between his thumb and knuckle, angling your head to tilt up to him a little more. “I seem to remember you wanted to see how pretty this shade looked smothered all over my cock, hm?” 

Damn him. You had said that... Back in your bedroom that night, but he’d denied you in favour of being the one to taste you instead. If you had the time right now, you’d have dropped to your knees in a heartbeat, but that door would swing open at any moment, his friends and bandmates arriving to get set up and head out on stage. You hadn’t tasted Mary since the very first time you’d slept together, and frankly, your mouth watered at the thought.  

“Shame I’ll have to wait a little longer,” you whined, pouting like a spoilt brat who didn’t get her way, but it only made Mary’s grin wider as he looked down at you.  

As if Satan himself had planned the timing, the door handle to the dressing room rattled, alerting you to the presence of his bandmates arriving and startling you both to stand upright, Mary tucking you into his side with an arm around your shoulder almost protectively.  

“Goore!” Jed strolled into the dressing room with his arms wide open, followed by Davey and Forrest lugging equipment in and glaring at the back of his head for not pulling his damn weight and carrying some of this shit himself. Jed walked straight up to Mary, ignoring your presence at first and forcing Mary into a typical ‘bro hug’ with heavy slaps to each other’s backs in greeting. But then he finally turned to you, a cheeky and mischievous look in his eye. “And this must be the Dutchess...”  

Mary froze, desperately trying to think of something to say in your defence, anything to turn the attention away from Jed’s comment that he could only imagine stung so much worse with everything you’d been through lately. But he couldn’t think of anything... He’d told them to be good. To welcome you, to be fucking decent and immediately, Jed waltzed in and had to poke at an open wound.  

Davey and Forrest stopped dead too, waiting in silence, everyone aware of the tension that lay heavy in the room just from one snide little dig at your family history...  

You looked to Mary next to you and smirked, before turning back to Jed and folding your arms over your chest. You took a step towards him, looking him up and down as if inspecting him before putting on your best snooty impression, and saying, “I think you’re supposed to kneel before a Dutchess, are you not?”  

Another moment of silence passed, Jed’s face twisting from one of slight shock, to mild amusement. “Nah, I’m sure Goore kneels at your feet often enough for everyone,” he teased, winking at you. “I’m Jed,” he introduced, holding a hand out to you which you gladly took, watching as he lifted the back of your hand to kiss the back of it briefly and bow his head in mock respect.  

“I remember,” you laughed, looking back at Mary who was looking at you with concern, but also pride... You had handled that better than he could have expected, cleverly inserting yourself into the humour rather than allowing yourself to be offended by it. You took the power away from Jed, and instead, earned his respect. You didn’t miss his exhale of relief.  

“What’s with the lipstick, Mare?” Jed asked, pointing generally at his face. The others looked over too, now registering it wasn’t fake blood on his face, but lipstick – suspiciously the same colour as you were wearing. 

“Trying something new,” Mary shrugged with a smirk. 

“That your way of telling the ladies you’re taken now, eh?” Davey laughed, waggling his eyebrows. “Goore is off the market!” 

“Better be, I don’t wanna have to get the claws out,” you warned, stepping back into Mary’s side and wrapping his arm around your shoulders. You dropped your voice a little lower so only Mary could hear, “at least, not for anyone but you.”  

Mary just smirked down at you, biting his lip at the thought of your nails dragging across his flesh in the heat of passion later on tonight. You were being very distracting this evening... 

Forrest and Davey reintroduced themselves to you once they’d set the equipment they carried down, the room settling into a far less tense environment. You sat yourself back down on the small couch and let the preparation for their gig unfold before you, chiming into conversation every now and then where you saw fit. Jed would throw you a few more jabs, but you managed to bat them right back at him like it was child’s play. And with each comeback, you earned just a tad bit more respect out of not only him, but Davey and Forrest too.  

The guys went to soundcheck before the venue opened, while you hung back in the dressing room citing that you wanted to see the real show first. You’d rather see Mary in all his glory and performing than playing to an empty club for the first time. When they came back in, you could see the excitement had grown within the band, the buzz starting to build for the show now that they’d set up and were ready to go.  

The beers had started to flow, just a few to keep them coherent enough to play of course, but the atmosphere was changing, building right up until the moment the stage manager came to collect them. The guys all downed the remainder of their beers, gathering whatever little bits they needed before heading out on stage. The guys wandered out of the door without Mary, leaving the two of you alone. 

Mary pulled you to your feet from the couch, wrapping his arms around your waist and pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Keep yourself safe in the crowd, yeah? Can get a bit rowdy...” he warned, a hint of anxiety present in his features. Not just at the thought of you alone in a crowd of metalheads moshing without a care in the world, but at the thought that you might just hate his music. That thought had been niggling away at him for days, ever since he first invited you.  

“I’ll be fine, gonna stick by the bar so you know where to find me when you get off stage,” you assured, pulling gently on the spike of hair he’d now styled in front of his face to sharpen the point for him. “Oh, wait!” 

You rushed out of his hold and towards his backpack, digging through it until you found his make-up kit and rushed back to him. You picked out the little vial of fake blood you knew he kept in there, dropping the kit down on the couch behind you.  

“Can’t go out there and be ‘Mary Goore’ without the ‘Goore’, hm?” you winked, uncapping the bottle and resting the nozzle on his hairline, letting it drip and dribble down his face just enough that it wouldn’t interfere with the pretty lip stains you made earlier. You screwed the cap back on and threw it back into the bag behind you. 

“Part of me is starting to think the blood turns you on a little...” he taunted, that stupid little smirk on his face again. You wanted to one-up him, to have the last damn word... And so, with a quick check to make sure the two of you were in fact alone, you grabbed his wrist and directed his hand down to hem of the short denim skirt you were wearing, pushing it up your inner thigh until you could manoeuvre his fingertips to push the edge of your panties to one side and slide over the little mess that all this damn teasing had caused, coating his fingers in it... 

You pulled his hand from under your skirt and lifted it to between the two of you, giggling in a way that had him stirring beneath his jeans. 

“I think maybe it does...” you tormented, letting go of his wrist and making your way to the doorway, leaning against it as if you were about to leave. Mary stood in awe of you, his hand still hovering in front of him as he looked between you and the shine on his fingertips a few times before snapping back to reality and realising he had a damn show to put on.  

He did the only rational thing he could think to, shoving his slick fingers into his mouth to clean them off while he held eye contact with you. You felt yourself flutter at the sight, gripping onto the doorframe a little tighter. This mother fucker really knew how to rile you up... 

“I’ll need more of that later, doll,” he told you sternly, stepping towards you. You took it as your cue to run, heading down the hall towards the club laughing almost maniacally as Mary stomped after you, his anxiety over performing for you replaced with a simmering need to get it over with so he could just fucking have you.  

It had only been ten minutes since you’d left the dressing room, but you were getting a little antsy waiting... This wasn’t your usual scene, and you’d hoped that maybe your first time in a goth club you’d have Mary at your side to make the experience a little less intimidating. The majority of the crowd were men, all metalheads, and while you were more comfortable here than at any political event or frat party you’d ever been to, you were sure you stuck out like a sore thumb.  

This club was in the city, and so you weren’t worried about anybody really knowing who you were save for Mary and his bandmates. But you were still finding yourself, figuring out your style and the wonderful thing about goth clubs is that everybody here went all out for the aesthetic. You felt boring, mundane even in the outfit you’d chosen. Sure, it was all black, but you’d thought the fishnet top over a black cami was daring... But in this scene, it wasn’t.  

You felt out of place, and without Mary at your side, you were sure you didn’t blend in nearly as much as you were hoping to. So, keeping to the edge of the club by the bar felt like a safe option. While everyone’s eyes were up front on the stage, you could stand back and watch as your boyfriend – well, you hadn’t exactly talked about a label, but you figured – owned the stage. And watch, you did. 

From the second Mary got up on that stage, you couldn’t look away. You hadn’t seen him play much, just a little here and there on that battered old acoustic of his, but never like this... He had such a command to him, this enigmatic energy that captivated you. Clearly, he was in his element. He’d told you it was his dream to perform, to be successful with his music and watching him now, you could see he put every fucking ounce of his soul into it.  

His music was heavy; you expected that. The lyrics were dark, screamed and growled into the microphone like he was possessed. You could understand why he was nervous for you to hear it, to see this dark side of Mary. Music like this wouldn’t appeal to the masses, sure, but it certainly did to you. He was starting to learn there was a dark side to you too, buried and covered up with pretty pink bows and glitter but it was in there. No wonder you were attracted to Mary like a moth to a flame...  

There was something about him on stage that just sparked something... Perhaps the way he handled his guitar, his fingers moving so deftly through the manic riffs he shredded. Perhaps it was the way he growled into the microphone; a deep, gravelly noise that made your breath catch in your lungs. Perhaps it was the way the crowd responded to him, adoring him and screaming for him and yet you knew that he was yours. 

The combination of it all was driving you wild. Riling each other up before the show certainly hadn’t helped, but you found yourself forgetting you were ever anxious to step foot in a club like this alone and focussing solely on him. With each song, you fell deeper into this almost obsessive need for him. 

Your demise finally came when a few songs into the set, his eyes landed on you. And the fucker smirked. 

With his eyes trained on you, he spoke into the mic. 

“Are you morbid?” he growled. The crowd screamed back at him, but he wasn’t talking to them. Not really.  

You bit your lip, unable to look away from him or even blink as he stared at you, as if he was waiting for you and you only to respond.  

“I said, are you morbid?” he insisted, the crowd screaming back again, louder this time. All you could do was nod pathetically, squeezing your thighs together and squirming just from the way he sounded, his stare... His smirk spread into a menacingly dark grin, his make-up and the lighting acting to enhance his devilish persona. He was turning you on, and he could see it.  

“Fuck yeah, you are,” he snarled, immediately running his fingers along the strings of his guitar to make it screech and diving into the next song. You could have sworn you felt the ghost of his touch as he did, as if his fingers were running their way up your inner thigh and not the neck of his guitar – the thought had your cheeks flushing, hidden under the dim lighting of the club.  

Watching his set was like torture. You tried to focus on the songs, to get into the music and as much as you were enjoying it you just couldn’t tear your eyes from him. When you’d first met Mary at the dive bar, he’d had this arrogance, this cocky self-confidence to him that lured you in but the more you got to know Mary, the more you knew that was a front a lot of the time. He had that softer side, that insecurity that he masked. But this version of Mary? This was where his true confidence lay, and it might just be the sexiest thing you had ever seen.  

As all good things must come to an end, so did their set. The crowd cheered and roared for them, and you found yourself fidgeting while you waited for them to come off stage, pack up their gear and for Mary to come and find you. Impatience had you leaning on the bar, beer in hand and tapping your foot to the metal playing through the club now that the show was over. When you finally felt two strong hands sliding around your waist from behind you, you let out a sigh of relief, smiling to yourself as you span in their grasp. 

“And what’s a pretty thing like you doing all alone in this dive, huh?” 

It wasn’t Mary.  

A strange faced smirked down at you, a thick and heavy beard to match the blonde hair that fell in untamed waved past his shoulders. His lip was pierced, straining from where he bit it while his eyes drank you in from head to toe as if you were some kind of prize. He reeked of cheap spirits and sweat, his forehead shining under the club lights as if he’d been in the mosh pit for the duration of the set.  

Beside him was someone you’d mistake for his twin, if it weren’t for the black hair and obvious difference in size and stature. The man holding you was tall, but solid. His friend was shorter, his body unhealthily thick. But still, he matched the description of your metalhead stereotype, and he too was dragging his eyes all over your body. 

Immediately your smile dropped and you shoved both hands into the guy’s chest. He stayed put, his solid frame too strong to waver but your push forced you back against the bar far enough to get out of his hold.  

“Waiting for my boyfriend, actually,” you snapped, laced with disgust. The blonde guy just laughed incredulously, as if he didn’t believe you.  

“I don’t see no boyfriend,” he said, looking from side to side as if that proved his point. He stepped further towards you, trapping you against the bar and holding onto your waist again. “Can pretend I am for the night if you want?” 

He leaned into you as if he were going to kiss your neck, but you leaned further back and out of the way, trying to push him away from you. All you could do was stop him just short, rather than rid your body of his hold completely. 

“Yeah, no thanks. Get off me!” you yelled.  

“Don’t play hard to get, darlin’. He’s just bein’ friendly!” his buddy chimed in, laughing as he took a swig of a drink he clutched with his sweaty little sausage fingers.  

“Said I’m waiting for my fucking boyfriend, piss off!” You gave him one final shove, and while he took a step back, he didn’t let go of you.  

“I got a better offer, baby. You could have us both if you wanted...” he smirked, glancing back at his friend who laughed with him.  

“Don’t think she wants either of you, Corbin.” Relief set in when you heard his voice materialising next to you, a hand with rings you recognised planting itself on this guy’s chest and pushing him back with enough force that he finally let go of you.  

Mary stepped between you both, squaring up to the blonde without a second thought.  

“The fuck would you know about it, Goore?” The blonde – who you now understood to be named Corbin – sneered, clearly irritated by the arrival of Mary instantly. 

“Well, ya see, that’s my girlfriend you had your grubby little paws all over. And I don’t really like it when people touch my things,” he shrugged, but his tone was far from indifferent.  

Corbin and his greasy little friend roared with laughter, as if the idea of Mary and you was the funniest joke they’d ever heard. That pissed you off... 

“As if a hot piece of ass like that’s gonna fuck you,” he roared, shoving Mary’s shoulder. You could see Mary take a deep, slow breath to collect himself. This guy was testing his damn patience. And you’d never seen Mary handle a situation like this before. But what you did know, was he was fiercely protective of the people he lo- well, people he cared for... You weren’t sure what was about to happen, but you just wanted these pricks to fuck off. 

“Watch your mouth, man,” he warned, his fists curling up at his sides until his knuckles turned white. Corbin and his buddy were still laughing.  

“Hey, hey darlin’... blink twice if you wanna ditch this fag and come hang out with some real fuckin’ men,” Corbin snorted, shoving Mary’s shoulder again. “A girl like you deserves a real dickin’ down!” 

You didn’t hesitate, hocking back a decent glob of spit and launching it in his direction. The laughter ceased immediately as it smacked him on his cheek with a wet splat, dripping into his beard as he jolted in surprise. He wiped it with his hand, flicking it to the floor and while his gaze darkened on you.  

“You little fuckin’ cunt,” he sneered, stepping towards you threateningly as if he were going to grab you but Mary got in the way without hesitation, shoving him and landing a solid punch to Corbin’s cheek with a sickening crack that had everyone within radius turning to look at the commotion.  

Within seconds Corbin retaliated, grabbing Mary’s shirt with two fists and headbutting him, shoving him back against you and in turn, the bar. Bottles knocked to the floor, smashing as Mary took a punch to the nose before getting his footing and throwing one back.  

It all happened too quickly, a brawl breaking out so fast as you got shoved to the side and landed on shards of glass cutting into your palm. You ignored the pain and the wet feeling on your hands in favour of trying to grab the collar of Corbin to drag him off, but his black-haired friend grabbed you instead, pulling your arms behind your back and holding you against him as you watched Mary trying to overpower this solid piece of shit.  

“Mary!” you shrieked at him, turning to the asshole holding you back. “Get the fuck off me, you fucking inbred bastard!” 

From the crowd, Forrest appeared next to you and dove into the fray, grabbing Corbin’s collar like you had failed to and dragging him backwards to the floor, straddling him and landing a punch or two himself to his gut. Mary leaned over the bar, catching his breath while two men in black polos and cargos charged in, one pulling Forrest from Corbin, the other pulling him up and restraining him with his arms behind his back.  

Forrest immediately backed down, holding his hands up in the air while the bouncer who’d intervened let him go, focussing his attention on the asshole still trying to claw his way to Mary. In a last ditch attempt, you kicked your heel between your captor’s legs and tucked it behind his ankle, pulling it until he fell to the floor and freed you. You ran to Mary without hesitation, pulling him to stand upright and holding his head in your bleeding hands to inspect the damage. You couldn’t tell if all this blood was yours or his. 

“You gotta keep that bitch on a fucking leash, Goore!” Corbin screamed, still struggling against the bouncer to get a few more swings in. Mary lurched towards him, but you grabbed his shirt, pulling him back to you.  

“You’re done, man!” the bouncer yelled at him, starting to drag him through the crowd of onlookers than had gathered. Corbin’s face projected a vile expression of pure hatred, smeared in blood that matted his hair and beard. 

“I’m nowhere fucking near done, you watch,” he threatened, “you’re an easy guy to track down, Goore! I’ll fuckin’ find you!” 

Mary glared at him as the bouncers dragged Corbin and his friend out of the club, kicking them to the curb. You diverted his attention back to you, gently pulling on his jawline and cupping his face to take a good look at him and remind him that you were right here and you were okay, in the hope it might dissipate the fury in him.  

Forrest stepped up to Mary, concern creasing his brow. He’d managed to avoid injury, no fresh blood on him anywhere but his knuckles. 

“You good, man? I can’t tell what’s fake and what’s real...” He waved his finger at Mary’s face. Mary smeared the back of his hand against his bust lip, scoffing at the sight of real blood on his hand. “Corbin’s a dick, you know he’s always lookin’ for trouble, man,” Forrest scolded, “You can’t rise to it!” 

“He needs to learn not to run his fuckin’ mouth,” Mary growled.  

“Hey, enough, tough guy...” you told him, lightly smacking his chest. “C’mon, let’s get you patched up.” You took his hand in yours, weaving your fingers in his despite the blood and pulling him through the crowd towards the door you’d come through earlier that lead to the green room backstage.  

The heavy music of the club quietened to a dull roar behind you as the backstage door shut, and you lead Mary down the hall to the dressing room. He was silent, stewing in his head over the things Corbin had said to him, mulling over his anger. When you got him inside, you locked the door behind you, wanting a moment of quiet to patch him up. You let go of his hand and grabbed his make-up kit that you’d chucked on the couch, heading over to the sink you’d pressed him against earlier to wash your own cut up hands and dampen some cotton pads from his bag.  

He lingered by the door, awkwardly stood in silence while you filled the sink. You hadn’t said a word to him, and frankly, Mary was terrified he’d gone too far, that you were pissed at him – or worse, disappointed. He never wanted you to see him like that, he wanted to be better, but he’d stooped to the level of a mindless thug because he couldn’t control how he reacted when it came to you. He’d have let it slide at the comments about him, but the second Corbin spoke down to you? He may as well have waved a red flag to a bull. 

“Come here,” you told him softly, holding your hand out to him. Without a word he did as he was told, standing next to you by the sink while you ran the cotton pads under the warm water. Lightly, you began to dab at a wound by his eyebrow.  

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled quietly. “Didn’t wanna fly off the handle like that.” You smiled as you dabbed at his face, replacing the bloodied pad for another fresh one.  

“Always rushing to save me,” you cooed, “my hero.” Mary chuckled at that, because of course he rushed in to save you – as if he ever wouldn’t... 

“You’re okay though, right?” he asked, tilting your chin you guide your eyes to his for a moment. He was so gentle, searching with genuine concern. You just smiled at him and nodded. “Did you at least enjoy the show?” he asked, changing the subject now he knew you were okay, and figured you weren’t mad at him. If you were, he’d know it by now.  

“I think you know that I did,” you joked, coyly. “You were incredible up there.” 

Mary smirked down at you, battling between his sense of relief that you hadn’t despised the heavy music and his smugness at the blush that was no longer hidden in the dim lights of the club. Frankly though, you had started this. You turned him on before he went on stage, and where else was he supposed to channel that energy?  

“Oh yeah? What did you like about it?” He feigned innocence, letting the smugness win. Of course he did, this was Mary after all... You thought for a moment, avoiding his watching eyes and continuing to dab at the blood that had dribbled down his face and collected around his nose and lip.  

“Well, y’know... Just the control you had of the crowd, like they were eating out of the palm of your hand for most of it.” 

“Hmm,” he hummed in thought, “You do like it when I take control, huh?” This fucking guy. The blush on your cheeks returned hotter than ever, radiating across your face.  

“Shut up, I’m cleaning you up,” you told him, desperately trying to hide the smile fighting to curl your lips.  

“What for? Thought the blood turned you on...”  

Only Mary could go from being involved in a bar fight that left him covered in blood with contusions on his face, to doing his very best to rile you up. But perhaps you were just the right amount of fucked up for him, because it was working.  

Your arms sagged to your sides and you finally made eye contact with Mary. He was staring down at you intensely, waiting in silence with that conceited little twinkle in his eye that was already starting to turn a shade of purple under the smeared remains of his make up. He leaned against the sink again, parting his knees and pulling you towards him by grabbing the belt loops on your skirt and tugging gently. You followed him too easily for your liking, only needing the gentlest of coaxing.  

“I thought... you were morbid,” he tormented, just like he had from the stage. Your chest seemed to flutter, heart stumbling over its own rhythm just as the words in your brain you thought you might use to respond did. But you were rendered speechless, hypnotised even.  

Even partially cleaned up, Mary looked rough. What you couldn’t understand, is why it seemed to excite you the way it did. Was it knowing that he’d suffered his injuries while fighting for you? Was it the thought that he’d fought a guy twice his size just to defend you? Or did the split lip and bruising just give him an even more menacing look that flooded your body with uncontrolled heat? 

You found yourself leaning into him, hesitating as your lips barely brushed his when you remembered they were injured, and a kiss would surely hurt him – especially the kind you were looking for.  

He raised his hand to pinch your bottom lip again, just as he had earlier, inspecting the colour of them once again. 

“That really is a pretty shade, doll...” His voice rumbled in his chest; you felt it, now that you were so close to him.  

“Blood red,” you whispered, slightly garbled thanks to his grip on your lip. He grinned at that, the most beautifully sadistic little grin, before he let go and pushed his battered lips against yours in a deliberate and heated kiss.  

He grunted on impact, pain shooting through his lip but it only spurred him on. Mary was no stranger to mixing pain with pleasure and for you he’d take it all. He didn’t hold back and didn’t expect you to either, your lips clashing together as you found a rhythm. Your hands – now barely bleeding, but still tender – planted themselves on his chest when he pulled you closer by your belt loops again, having you lean so far into him your hips crashed into his.  

His hands held you in place like that as he forced his tongue past your lips, lapping at yours almost grotesquely. It had been a while since you’d seen Mary’s feral side, but here he was under the dressing room’s harsh luminescent lights trying to devour you as if you were his last meal on death row. Your hands grabbed at his chest, nails scratched at him to try and grip onto him but falling short thanks to the barrier of his shirt.  

Hands grabbed at everything they could, both of you seeking the other out and feeling as if close just wasn’t close enough no matter how harshly you pressed against each other. You could feel his jeans growing solid, taught under you and just the mere thought of him hardening at this alone had you pressing your thighs together and pushing your hips into his as much as possible.  

Mary pulled his lips from yours just for a moment, pressing his forehead to yours as he groaned at the intoxicating mix of the pain that pulsed through them and the pleasure that pulsed through his growing erection. 

“Now’s your chance, doll,” he panted. You looked him in the eye, glaring intensely back and forth at one another. “Show me how pretty it looks, hm?” 

It took you a second, but then the penny dropped...  

“I seem to remember you wanted to see how pretty this shade looked smothered all over my cock, hm?” 

When that penny dropped, so did you, immediately falling to your knees between his feet and reaching for the studded belt that held his jeans up. He watched through hooded eyes, gripping the sink behind him to lean his body weight on it while you undid his jeans and pulled them down just enough to expose the trimmed hair that tapered from his stomach down past that delicious ‘v’ line of his hips.  

You reached past the hem of his boxers and fished your prize from its confines, laying heavy and thick in your palm. It was almost shameful, the way your mouth watered at just the sight of him, the feel of him in your hand but there wasn’t even the tiniest part of you that cared. 

You looked up at him through your lashes, gently stroking his length and taking in the view from below him. The lust in his eyes had your body setting itself alight from the inside out. He looked dangerous, waiting for you to do as he wanted. He had full control of you with just his stare and without a single word... What he wanted was very clear, and you were more than happy to oblige knowing that obedience would earn you a reward.  

Truthfully though, you wanted to do this for him just as much as he wanted it. Even when he was on stage, all you could think of was bending to his will, doing whatever the hell he wanted you to in order to derive his pleasure from him. You wanted him to take control of you, to channel that same darkness you saw in his eyes as he played and growled into the mic and use it on you.  

And so, as you stared up at him through those pretty lashes of yours, you opened your mouth and lay your tongue flat on your bottom lip, never breaking eye contact as you leaned in and lay the reddened tip of his cock on it. It was your turn to put on a show for him now, to prove yourself worthy of reward and worship him like you were kneeling at an altar rather than his feet. 

He inhaled sharply, hissing through clenched teeth when your tongue made contact with his head. You kept your eyes on him still, circling your lips around him and relishing in the purr that sounded from above you. How had you failed to do this for him since that very first night in the dive bar? How had you resisted? The way he’d reacted to your mouth last time should have been enough incentive – it certainly was now. 

Frankly, you were appalled by how long it had been since you’d taken him in your mouth like this... You’d more than make up for it now, slowly leaning further into him to take as much of his length into your mouth and throat as possible while still holding your gaze on him.  

The eye contact was driving Mary insane, seeing right through you and knowing you wanted him to watch, to see how good you were being for him. You were freakier than anyone would give you credit for, and only he knew that. Only he got to see it.  

“That’s my girl, huh? Fuck...” he praised, one of his hands letting go of its death grip on the sink and running through your hair as you bobbed slowly. You whimpered a little at the approval, particularly when his fingertips grazed over your scalp, nails scratching and massaging. The pleasure was nothing like what you wanted, what your body craved but you’d take any bit of praise, any kind of encouragement he was willing to give.  

When he wrapped his fingers in your hair, tugging at it gently to encourage your movements you couldn’t stop yourself from gripping his thighs, grounding yourself while he groaned above you. You relaxed your throat, swallowing more of him until your nose nuzzled against his skin and his grip on your hair tightened, holding you there.  

Mary was losing his mind, his head rolling back and eyes squeezing shut when he felt your throat constricting around him. He pulled on your hair to lift your head off him, giving you an opportunity to breathe but all you did was hollow your cheeks and breathe through your nose, using your fist to pump the half of his cock that was now exposed.  

You suckled at the tip for a moment before pulling off him completely, holding eye contact again and stroking him where you knelt. You made sure he was watching you when you began to press deliberate kisses to his shaft, leaving slightly dull lipstick stains against his pale skin. Mary grinned wildly, stroking your hair and allowing you to mark his cock in red stains like you’d promised him.  

“Dirty girl,” he keened, “You’re loving this, aren’t you?” You didn’t answer with words, only nodding as you started leaving open mouthed kisses, tongue laving wetly at the ridges of his cock where veins protruded. “Such a pretty colour...” he chuckled, starting to lose control of his hips as they rolled towards you, chasing the feeling. He so badly wanted to be buried in your mouth again, surrounded by that delicious wet warmth... 

You didn’t tease him for much longer, taking the tip past your lips again and sinking down on his length. The moan he released had arousal pooling between your legs, and your own need was becoming hard to ignore. But you would, knowing that Mary would pay you back for your patience – if not now, when he got you home... 

“So tempting to use this pretty mouth of yours, doll... See how much you can take.” That was an invitation, an open hint to ask for your consent to do just that. The thought of pulling back to give verbal consent was just not sitting right with you – a second of neglect to his now weeping cock was a second too long, and you weren’t about to neglect him at all. Instead, you gripped the hem of his jeans and pulled his hips towards you, indicating you wanted him to use his hips, to move and use you just as he’d said.  

“Oh, you want that, huh?” You nodded, pulling again. “Shit...”  he hissed, pushing himself up from leaning on the sink to stand in front of you, all the while you never let him slip from your mouth.  

With his feet firmly planted to the floor either side of you, he wrapped his hand in your hair again and began to rock his hips; slowly at first, savouring the feeling and watching intently as you sat so prettily for him, obediently taking everything he gave you. But he couldn’t help himself – the sight at his feet completely maddening – and he found himself thrusting a little faster, testing how much you could take. When you didn’t struggle at all, he amped his thrusts up again, grunting and moaning above you. It took all your willpower not to let go of his jeans and dive between your own legs for some friction, some kind of relief from the arousal overtaking your body. 

As if he read your mind, Mary used his free hand to rip yours from his jeans. “Touch yourself,” he ordered, “Until I can feel your fucking moans on my cock.” 

You had no willpower to deny him, immediately diving your hand beneath your skirt and pushing your panties to one side to circle your clit with the juices that had gathered there. You whined in satisfaction, the sound vibrating along Mary’s shaft and spurring him on to bury himself to the hilt in your throat.  

“Don’t hold back, make yourself cum.” And you didn’t, wasting no time building up to pleasure and doing everything you could do get yourself to the edge. It never took long with your own fingers, not when you knew the goal was just to cum as quickly as possible. There was nothing to savour, you were rushing not for yourself but to give Mary exactly what he wanted.  

“You fuckin’ wait, doll... I’ve been too sweet on you, hm?” he warned. Truthfully, the sex recently had taken more of a sensual turn now that feelings were involved but there was still a filthy side to Mary, and he knew you had it too. There was no harm in mixing it up a little here and there... “Wait ‘til I get you home. I’ll have you fucking screaming for me...”  

You believed him. You knew what he was capable of, and you had no problem letting him do whatever he deemed necessary to elicit those screams that you couldn’t create here. But his promise had your hips bucking against your hand, chasing the high that fast approached. Your moans echoed around his head, vibrating down his cock over and over as he used your throat.  

“Come on, doll, cum for me. I’m not letting go ‘til you do,” he groaned, tightening his grip in your hair until your roots burned but all it did was spur you on... You hollowed your cheeks for him, using your tongue to please him as he fucked your throat. Your fingers sped up, furiously circling your clit and pushing you closer and closer to the brink until you snapped... 

Your hips jolted and thrashed where you knelt, the floor harshly bruising your knees. Moans ended up as choked garbles as you came harder than you’d expected for such little build up. The only thing keeping you remotely in place was Mary’s grip on your hair, holding your head for him to continue fucking your throat with reckless abandon now, too turned on to hold off as soon as you fell over the edge of euphoria.  

“That’s it, doll... Fucking hell...” he growled, biting into his already injured lip and trying desperately to hold onto his own control. He waited, watching you as he used your mouth, getting closer and closer until you stopped squirming beneath him.  

“Where?” he panted, desperate now, “where can I finish?” He sounded frantic, panicked. Truthfully he was, because if he didn’t get some kind of answer soon, he’d be unable to hold off, and the thought of ruining his orgasm was too devastating after all the work you’d put in for him... You just pointed at your full mouth and sucked at him harder, earning you a roar of “Fucking SHIT” as he threw is head back one final time and lost all control. 

You took every drop of his spend you could like a champ, holding what you could on your tongue as his hips slowed to a shallow splutter and he whimpered and grunted above you like an animal. He looked ethereal, despite the injuries to his face as he found his pleasure in you. 

You waited patiently as he caught his breath, the last dribbles of his spend finding their way onto your tongue as you lapped at his now over-sensitive head. He leaned back against the sink again to steady himself, looking down at you sat prettily waiting for him like a puppy dog waiting on a treat. Your lipstick had smeared across your face, messed up by your kisses and his borderline brutal motions. And yet, you were the prettiest thing he’d ever seen. 

Even prettier when you opened your mouth for him, and showed him what you’d collected on your tongue.  

“You waitin’ for permission, or something?” he laughed, pinching your chin to tilt your head side to side and inspect you. You just waited in silence, eyes sparkling with mischief. “Lipstick’s ruined, baby. Gonna need a fresh coat...” he bent down until he was eye level with you, “Or maybe a gloss?” 

With a wink, he dipped his finger into your mouth, coating his finger in his cum and spreading it over your lips gently as if it were lip gloss. It sparkled under the lights of the room, matching that playful twinkle in your eye. 

“So pretty...” he complimented, watching as you now closed your mouth and swallowed what was left. Mary watched in awe, almost pissed off that his cock had softened and for now, he was spent. Just that act alone had him wanting to worship you like the goddess you were. But he’d have to wait until he got you home...  

But Mary being the nasty little shit he was, wanted nothing more than to do whatever he could to keep the fire going, to fan the embers and turn you on as much as you did him. And so, he took your hand in his, helping you up off the floor. Then with one hand, he wrapped his fingers around your neck and held you still, moving in to kiss his gloss from your lips. 

You knew from the first night you spent with him he had no problem with the taste of his own release, but as long as he kept finding new and ridiculously sexy ways to show you that, you’d always find it one of the hottest damn kinks of his... You melted into his kiss immediately, adoring the taste of him on your tongue mixed with the fresh blood of his split lip he’d bitten into. Was it a nice flavour? No. But it was the very essence of Mary, and it had you drifting into a world of your own as you made out with him. 

Suddenly, the doorhandle rattled, followed in quick succession by a heavy thump on the door and an “ow!” being yelped through the wood. It sounded like Jed, trying to get in without knowing you’d locked the door when you came in to clean Mary up. He’d tried shoving the door open with his shoulder, only to collide with it instead.  

“Hey, what the fuck?” he yelled through the door. Quickly Mary parted from you, tucking himself back into his jeans and doing them up. He stepped to the side and made his way slowly to the door, giving you enough time to take another cotton pad from his kit and run it under some fresh warm water, wiping away the red smears from your face to look somewhat presentable. Your hair was still wild from Mary’s grip, but you didn’t quite have time to get it back to normal before Mary let Jed into the dressing room, followed by Forrest and Davey on his heels. 

They looked around the room, flitting between the two of you who in your effort to look nonchalant looked more guilty than if they’d caught you mid-blowjob.  

“You fuckin’ animals...” Jed laughed, slapping Mary’s chest as he walked further into the room to gather up their kit. “Glad we got here in time, don’t need your ass print on our shit Mare.” 

They thought they’d caught you before anything happened... Good, you’d let them believe that. 

“You good, man?” Forrest asked, “I know he landed a few punches. You look rough.” 

“Thanks,” Mary scoffed. “Did he look worse at least?” 

“Oh yeah, think you broke his nose. Blood everywhere, looked crooked. Nice,” Davey laughed, “Bouncers shoved him out on the street while I was having a smoke, he was pissed.” 

“Bastard deserved it, has done for a while,” Mary shrugged.  

“We’re gonna load the van and head out, you two alright to get yourselves home?” Forrest asked, picking up some of the kit they’d brought in the dressing room after their set. 

“Yeah we’re good, not over the limit,” Mary turned to you then, “you ready to get outta here, doll?” You just nodded, turning to pack up Mary’s kit and drain the sink of the pink-tinted water.  

It didn’t take long to shift the gear into Forrest’s van with you and Mary helping out. Surprisingly, all the guys gave you a hug as they were leaving, citing it was nice to meet you and hopping into the van – not before Jed got in a jab about ‘going easy on Mary’ despite his new ‘bad boy look’ when you got him home. You just promised him you wouldn’t with a wink, to which he laughed.  

As they drove out of the parking lot, Mary turned back to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into him.  

“Shall we?” he asked with a suggestive tone, swaying you in his arms and smirking down at you.  

“We shall...” you sang, leaning up onto your toes to plant your lips to his in a slow and delicious kiss. He hummed against your lips, his hands grabbing at your waist as you introduced your tongue to the mix – but he soon cut you off. 

“Get in that van, right now,” he ordered, earning a giggle from you. You span in his arms and felt a playful smack to your ass as you began to walk towards the passenger side of his van, Mary making his way into the driver’s side. 

The tension in the front seat was thick and heavy, anticipation for the moment he finally got you home building with each passing second. At some point, Mary reached over and placed his hand on your thigh, stroking his thumb over the bare skin and letting it slide inwards. You twisted in your seat, allowing him the room to slide a little higher, just to tease...  

Once out of the city and back on home turf, you threw caution to the wind and leaned over the centre console to kiss at Mary’s neck, nibble at his ear, anything and everything you could do while he drove – very carefully – through the streets he knew like the back of his hand.  

“You want me to total this thing, doll?” he growled. You just giggled, sucking a hickey into his neck.  

Eventually, he pulled into his apartment complex, parking up in his designated spot. As soon as he took his seatbelt off he was shoving you back over to your side and climbing over the console himself, his hands everywhere all at once as his lips engulfed you. You fucking loved riling him up like this...  

“Do you know how tempting it is just to fuck you right here?” he growled as his lips made the descent down your neck.  

“I’d let you,” you laughed, “but I gotta stop by the 7/11...”  

“Huh?” he pulled back from you, confused. “You didn’t fancy mentioning that before I dived over here?” he teased. You giggled again – and of course, had no idea what that did to him, inevitably making the unfolding situation in his jeans worse. 

“What? I’m out of birth control...” you whined. “And as much as I love the idea of you railing me until the sun rises, I really don’t fancy motherhood any time soon. Pharmacy isn’t open this late, so condoms it is. Just for tonight.” You leaned forward, pressing a chaste kiss to the end of his nose.  

“Fine by me, condoms make me last longer anyway,” he smirked. “I’ll come with.” He started to retreat back to open his door, but you stopped him.  

“No no, it’s fine. It’s just around the corner. I’ll be like five minutes. You take your stuff upstairs, get a little rest – you're gonna need it...” Mary sighed in defeat.  

“Alright fine, you got your phone on you, yeah?” he checked, a little concern on his face.  

“Yeah yeah, I’m good. I’ll see you up there,” you leaned in to press another kiss to his lips, jumping out of the van and heading down the street in the direction of the local convenience store.  

Mary watched you walk away – absolutely nothing to do with the way your ass looked in that skirt, of course – and gave in, knowing there was no arguing with you on this. So instead, he got out and fished his guitar case from the back, along with his backpack of make-up and guitar picks and headed upstairs. He hummed to himself as he climbed the two flights of stairs up to his floor, content and happy despite the bar fight that had broken out.  

Truthfully, Mary couldn’t believe his damn luck. He’d landed a girl like you, worked at the differences and insecurities and whilst it was still a work in progress, you were his. He’d won the biggest battle, let his walls down just enough to let you in so you could take care of the rest together, brick by brick.  

Mary rounded the corner to his apartment, shoving his hand into his pocket for the keys to unlock the front door when he stopped, frozen and staring straight ahead... Something wasn’t right. 

The door to his apartment was slightly ajar, the wooden frame splintered by the lock as if it had been forced open with a crowbar. He couldn’t hear anything, only silence spilling from the crack in the door, but Mary knew better than to go charging in...  

“I’m nowhere fucking near done, you watch!” Corbin’s threat echoed around his head. “You’re an easy guy to track down, Goore! I’ll fuckin’ find you!” 

Corbin had made good on his promise. And for all Mary knew, he was still inside, waiting for him. Waiting for you.  

Quietly, Mary set his things down in the hallway, rifling through his bag for his cell phone, typing a quick message and hitting send before he fished into the hidden pocket inside and pull out a Swiss army knife. Handy little thing to own, when you own a guitar workshop and play in a band. Never know when you might need it to screw something together, or cut or saw something. He’d never needed to use it for self-defence before, and frankly, he felt sick at the thought of it. But he wasn’t going into that apartment without something. 

Slowly, and quietly, Mary stepped towards his front door. His heart pounded in his chest, sweat beginning to form on his brow as fight or flight began to kick in.  

He took a deep breath, flicked the knife attachment out of its hiding place, and slowly pushed open his front door...  

You sifted through the aisles of the 7/11, humming to yourself one of Mary’s songs that you particularly liked from the show tonight. With condoms in hand, as well as some assorted snacks, some beers and a few toiletries, you headed over to the register ready for the sluggish teen employee to ring you up.  

They took their sweet time, and you tried your best not to look impatient. It was late, after all, and this poor kid had the graveyard shift. You wouldn’t wanna be here either, in their shoes. Not that you’d worked a solid day’s work in your life, mind you... 

As the poor kid moved at the pace of a turtle scanning each of your items, your phone buzzed in your purse. Figuring Mary was asking you to pick something up for him, you checked it, only to have your heart jump into your mouth, and your stomach fall out of your ass... 

Don’t come home. Not safe. Call Forrest +1 (618) 107-1423 

ALSO AVAILABLE ON AO3 | MASTERLIST | TIP JAR PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7 | PART 8

[bengiyo]

Only Boo! Ep 12 (Finale) Stray Thoughts

Last week, we spent time with Kang to see what he's been up to in the last year. We learned that Kang moved, blocked Moo, and changed universities to create distance between them, continuing the GMMTV trend of making the poor boy rearrange their entire life for the benefit of the richer one. When Moo finally found him, the show essentially said that Kang was correct to do this, because Moo immediately lost all composure in trying to reunite them. After spiraling, Moo got kicked in the face and hospitalized (apparently based on something that happened to my boy Aungpao). Meanwhile, Moo continues to have Potae as his inexplicable confidant, who remains jealous of Payos and Jang BGP. Also, Shone has been hanging out with Kang and occasionally flirting with him, which is gross since he encouraged them to break up.

Oh, right. Time to find out if this scene is real.

Yep, it wasn't real!

Ep 12: ONLY BOO

Shone... This is gross.

I struggle with the constant dissonance of this show not saying gay even as it's constantly demanding its protagonist accept reality.

Umm...why is Moo apologizing??

I kinda wish this has been a story about Potae and Payos struggling with an asymmetric relationship and navigating that space as idols instead. Having Potae come around in the last episode like this is not satisfying.

I'm trying to be with Moo about the blank letters, but it's like he's never really understood the social and financial expectations of being an idol at all. This why is not rhetorical for why Kang can't go to him.

Why is Kang in Hong Kong in a mascot?? Moo is gonna recognize him.

Again, Kang seems to be the only one aware of consequences.

Wow, do they really think this one scene fixes everything wrong with Potae's relationship with his parents and how they've made him feel like he's not worthy?

Is Jang now okay with his band members dating? Why??

I'm glad these two reunited, but do we really think one more conversation with his label is gonna change anything? Does Moo think he has that level of clout after a year of being in the industry?

Keen is fun to watch flirt. This has been the most engaged with it we've seen out of Sea in a while.

Why would they just agree to end the rule after all this drama? What has changed?

There is almost something here about these boys going back to their high school but knowing what they are to each other now.

It is admittedly nice to see some of the teachers again. That part was solid.

What in the pair the spares is this???

FORCEBOOK JUMP SCARE

At least they're implying Kang dealt with some of his shyness around intimacy.

Final Verdict: 5, I Liked The High School Portion Mostly, and I Liked Keen. This show was truly thematically bankrupt in a way that is actually offensive to me, and part of a trend with GMMTV of wanting only implied queerness in their shows about boys kissing each other. It is absolutely ridiculous to set up a show where a queer kid has been so loved and sheltered that he doesn't really conceive of the structures of homophobia to fall in love with a boy who seems to understand them, and then not have this be about how Moo either succumbs to this expectations or fully rejects them. It's frustrating that he's not allowed to make many choices here because it would pop the bubble around him. I'm also just so frustrated with the inclusion of Book and Louis in this show because they added so little, and I actually found Shone to be gross.

They also fully betrayed Payos as a character. He and Moo should have been gay besties and that should have been the beginning of Moo coming to understand that other queers were not afforded the luxury he has. I will not forgive this show for ruining the relationship between Moo and Payos by having Moo exclude him from his closet in favor of Potae.

On a positive note, I will say I enjoyed the character work and themes around the teachers when they were in school, and I thought Keen was rather charming in this show. I'd like to see him again.

[lilbluebastard]

⚠️ Opinion/long post warning! ⚠️

Listen you can be honest after you read this if you do, I’ll happily listen and respect you’re opinion 🩵

Listen I love hellsing but I don’t love some of its ships

Like the ships! Of course I’m not judging anyone we all have our own thing and we all like to enjoy our own opinions, I totally understand it but to be honest some of the ships that go with alucard creep me out….like a lot

Know before anyone gets upset there’s a good reason, I’m not just saying this stuff because I hate alucard (even tho I do) some of this ships can be creepy and weird

Like for example, andercard , alucard x Integra or alucard x Walter, now let me explain

It doesn’t involve alucard it involves

Girly card

Plus im not gonna go search for the art because I don’t wanna drag the artist into it and I don’t wanna well search for it because it makes me uncomfortable

I’ve seen art with girly card and young Walter now, just because she looks like a child doesn’t mean she is one , Alucards is about a 500+ year old guy, I’ve seen art of girlycard, doing things with young Walter and young Integra that he shouldn’t be doing with them

I’ve seen him flirting with them, EVEN KISSING THEM!

These two young CHILDREN for example

It’s honestly just creepy and kinda makes me question the community

Now I’m sure you’re wondering

Where does andercard come in this, listen I’m not hating on andercard because i like Anderson, it’s a cute ship don’t get me wrong I love a lil enemies to lover type stuff, I’ve seen some cute art

But seriously girlycard looks like a child, it’s makes Anderson look like a stereotypical irl priest 😭

But I’ve seen art where they’ve shared a father like daughter relationship and that’s a bit better just a old man taking the form of a child to get a good father figure he’s always wanted but I’ve seen creepy art between them, people are making Alexander look like a creep 😕

But I’ve also seen art of Alexander and girlycard and it’s just creepy, I’ve seen people drawing them in weird positions , yes they do give Anderson a uncomfortable expression but that’s no excuse in my opinion

People are making alucard and Anderson look like a creeps! Like yes have you’re ships but honestly, you’re making alucard act like that piece of shit that attacked him in his childhood

And I’m aware every community has its bad sides and good sides and I should deal with it but seriously!

Listen if you’re upset with me I can kinda understand but seriously this is really creepy and no one talks about it (well from what I can see no one does) some people are making alucard a actual monster

Like yes older Integra and Walter are fine because there adults, ship them to high heaven for all I care but drawing him with there younger selves how can you not see how bad that is? And honestly I’ve seen art of where there just besties, I like that because it’s not as creepy a lil weird but not as creepy you know?

But honestly ship what you want

Andercard is a silly ship , I mean not my ship but I respect others for it but the nsfw art makes me really uncomfortable, but still! I’ve seen silly stuff with andercard

(Adult) Integra x alucard

Also not my ship because I see them as father and daughter(just my opinion tho 😉) , but if it’s yours hey that’s a-okay! I’ve seen sone cute art with those guys! I get silly comics of Integra x alucard and they always are the best!

I don’t really see art of older Walter and alucard it’s rare but still!

A ship is a ship, everything has a good side and everything has a bad side, I’m sorry if I made someone upset, feel free to tell me you’re opinion, I’ll happily listen to you and I’ll respect it, because everyone’s opinions important

Listen I’m not gonna go tell people to stop drawing what they like, Im not that kinda person , I’m just someone who’s sharing my opinions, because it’s been bugging me for a while, I’m just being honest

(yes I’m aware there are other ships but I feel like this one was just to Important)

But this is just my opinion okay! It doesn’t have to be yours as well, you don’t need to change it to yours after reading this! You’re opinion and say on this is important too! Don’t let sone random person on the internet bring you down because of there opinion! if yours is different I’ll respect it because you’re important as well!🥰🩵🫂

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hello! I was the anon who asked about the SAHSR au.

May I request headcanons with Caelus, Dan Heng, March 7th, Welt, Jing Yuan, Sampo, Kafka and Blades reaction to having 2 players in one account? One ABSOLUTELY loves the fighting (and the flirting choices) of the game, while the other is more invested in the lore (ESPECIALLY the garbage can lore). (Ill call em FP and LP respectively).

Both share one main team when they play story mode together but have their own teams when they play independently, they work together like an well-oiled machine when they play together. (FP specializing in fights with equiptment and strategy, while LP aids in lore aspects of quests, and explains lore to FP when theyre confused) The main trio have a special place in their hearts so they lovingly call em "our children"

Id imagine, they'd get petty if one accidentally plays some of the storyline ahead being like " you played ahead...??? Without me?!?!?! JAIL! JAIL FOR 100,000 YEARSS >:o" - LP

Heres some interactions I'd imagine the character may overhear:

Fp: *about sampo's slits of skin* he's just a goofy little guy who just a little fruity, I mean sureeee he's aware of the fourth wall and scams people BUT he's just so silly 😌💕 Lp: Listen, I get it, he's your snookims 🙄 but just because he's dresses fruity DOES NOT make you immune to the cold, ESPECIALLY the Belabog winters.😒

LP: *Blade makes a quote about death* Me too bestie, me too 😔✌️ FP: Jesus christ, LP we've talked about this, this is the exact the reason I can't let you have Blade on your team. LP: I mean to be fair, the difference between me and them is that I got therapy and a solid support system. He's just my darker timeline. FP: ..... Dammit your right..

FP: *Just pulled Kafka* LETS GOOOO!! MOMMY KAFKA HAS COME HOME TO MEEE!!! *barking* LP: *snorts in the background* FP: Oh Shi- * hits themselves with the phone* LP: * laughing hysterically with the sounds of slapping can be heard in the back*

LP: *out of the blue* I miss my hubby :( FP: Who? LP: Screwllium FP: .... The robot??? LP: Yeah :( FP: Why?? Are your old men not enough for you? LP: Besides how cool his design is, and his genuine charm, I have a better chance at romance with a robot then any human-esque being FP: ... if we ever see your cousins again I'm going to beat the living shit out of them for destroying your confidence...

(if it's too much and your not comfy, no pressure to do this, but please just let me know Also, sorry that it's long, I got super excited 😅 and needed to get it out of my head ajdbjdnd, but thank you if you accept my request)

Hi! Thank you for your request! This is a really cool idea; hopefully I've done it justice. I love the interaction examples you've put in your request; they made me laugh! Sorry it took a while. I hope you like the headcanons.

Fandom: Honkai Star Rail

Characters: Caelus, Dan Heng, March 7th, Welt Yang, Jing Yuan, Sampo, Kafka, Blade

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A self-aware au in which two players with very different play styles share an account. What do the characters think of them?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first of the “children”. Caelus feels flattered that the players think of him that way but is a bit curious as to why they call him that considering everyone’s respective age…

Loves the banter between the two players. He’s a quietly sarcastic little gremlin so that’s right up his alley.

Has a soft spot for the lore focused player, mostly since they like the garbage can lore and that’s something he feels he and the player can bond over.

But both players hold a special place in his heart since he’s formed a bond with both of them over the course of the game.

Dan Heng has so many questions. Why are the players calling him their “child”? He’s older than they are. And there’s certainly no biological connection.

Regardless, he knows it’s their way of displaying affection so he’ll take their comments with gratitude, despite their baffling nature.

Has a preference towards the lore invested player, mostly because history and the story behind the story are his interests as well. He feels they can bond over that shared interest.

He also appreciates it when the players find records that get added to the archive. He wouldn’t be able to read as much if they didn’t so he’s very grateful.

Unlike Dan Heng, March absolutely loves being referred to as one of the players “children”. She thinks it’s a sweet term of affection.

She doesn't like playing favourites but she has a preference towards the player that prefers fighting and flirting. She thinks they’re fun!

Like Caelus, March loves the banter between the players, as long as it doesn’t get too serious; she likes to keep things fun.

She always gets nervous when the story progresses with only one player present. She knows they only play the storyline together, so she gets concerned that something has happened to the other player.

Welt is concerned about the players sometimes…why is one of the players calling Screwllum their “hubby”? And is the other player talking about him when they talk about the old man?!

But his concern is just his way of displaying his affection for the players.

The contrast between their playing styles may have confused and annoyed him at first but it quickly grows on him and now he can’t imagine any other playing style.

Doesn’t really have a favourite between the players. If he had to choose, he might lean more towards the lore focused player since flirting isn’t really his style. But he cares for the both pretty equally.

Jing Yuan will argue over who the players are referring to when they talk about the “old men” forever. In his mind, that’s him; if he’s going to be called old, it may as well be in reference to someone showing interest in him…

He’s a general so he has a lot of respect for the players for taking turns when their respective interests and strengths are relevant.

Despite their cohesion, Jing Yuan will sometimes critique the players on their shortfallings. They work well together most of the time, but when one plays ahead, Jing Yuan just shakes his head.

He knows there’s going to be some pettiness to follow the next time both players are on together.

Sampo doesn’t know whether to be flattered or insulted when the players keep talking about him being “just a goofy little guy who’s just a little fruity”.

He loves the fighting and flirting player; they remind him a lot of himself so he feels like they share a strong connection.

Since he’s the only one with the power to break the fourth wall, he often passes on messages from the other characters. He just has to find ways to work those messages into the story so it doesn’t seem strange.

And the other characters have to repay him somehow. Sampo’s not doing that for free, he’s got his own messages to pass along as well.

Kafka is subtly honoured that the players feel so positively about her, especially the fighting and flirting player.

When she came home for the first time, she was bombarded by screams as the players celebrated her arrival.

Doesn’t have a favourite between the players but if forced to choose, she would probably say the fighting flirting player.

What can she say? Undying affection is something she can appreciate and that player certainly has that in droves for her.

Blade is more reserved about his affection for the players. His main way of displaying affection for them is increasing the number of quotes he says about death.

He knows the lore based player likes those quotes and he enjoys hearing the banter between the players after he says something edgy.

He is slightly concerned about them sometimes though. His edginess and depression is fine since he’s just a character. But it’s different for the players and he hopes they’re doing okay.

No preference between the players but he prefers it when they’re both playing together. It leads to less conflict in the future…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[abysstwins]

my take on sagau ... ♡

if you cant tell , my mental sillies make me a sucker for the obsessive cult aspect of sagau (burn me at the stake i guess) but idk the whole "imposter" thing feels weirdddddd i always prefer creator!reader to be like isekai'd into teyvat yk (can you tell i used to be obsessed with the kuroshitsuji time travel au .....) ?? anyways have this while i decide if i want this to be a full series or just a mini series

notes : gn!reader , creator!reader , r is not traveler , they them used , this - like most of my writing - is self indulgent hinted with some projection , bulleted list cause its 4am when im typing this and acrylic nails suck , i mainly refer to reader as either r or creator enjoy <3 i wrote this while listening to this playlist ♡

okay so i feel like the self awareness began longgggg before this takes place ok

starts out with traveler , then albedo , then kaeya , etc

it takes a while but albedo finally finds a way to bring r to teyvat

i imagine that the acolytes can hear r when they play (esp the traveler)

if you're like me and dote on all of the characters you have they eat that shit uppppp bro

anyways so now r is isekai'd into teyvat yayyyy

it takes them a whileeeee to get used to being an all-powerful being cause like .......... ??? social anxiety ?? inability to communicate with neurotypical people ? depressive and manic eps ?????? mood swings ?????

eventually they kinda fall in the swing of things

damn if i was stuck in teyvat id just deal with it. you got some other way out ???

i view the acolytes as being obsessive in nature once r is like ....... there with them ( with due respect , that is the "creator" n all .... )

immediately wanting you to find a suitor ( or multiple )

by like the second month of being in teyvat r is WORNNNNN OUTTTT

everyone basically walks on egg shells around them oHMY GODDDDD

r has to basically beg the acolytes to stop being WEIRDDDDDDDDD

they feel weird being treated like a god ( well ....... )

they do kinda like their dreamy palace tho <3 its nice n has really cozy beds to nap in

their acolytes are also more than eager to nap with them om gee

r is a big fan of hanging out with the twins ( i like to think they're reunited when the creator comes to teyvat <3 ) they've all been to so many diff worlds they have a lot to chat about ( and also the twins are really the only charas to be semi chill around r )

oh ok random but also

r is visiting mondstadt and plays minecraft songs on the lyre and everyone goes CRAZYYYY

"it's their divinity's holy songs!!!!" cue the inner giggling cause its literally just minecraft music you memorized in like middle school

r is lowkey a huge flirt too once they get comfortable in teyvat ( they most likely hope this is just a dream and when they return home if they return home ...... that it'll have no real consequence cause it's EMBARASSINGGGG )

this leads to

well

jealousy lol

the acolytes basically beg them to find a consort or suitor or whtvr ( or even multiple :thumbsup: )

r tries to be fair and choose like 3 from each nation but cmonnnn ,,,,, wom en fdjfheskrf.vja

genshin makes me [ cries in bisexuality ] i wanna make out with like half of the characters

anyways def lots of fights between the nations about where their aforementioned palace will go ( r decides to station in inazuma , preferably near kokomi's shrine place ) and since r can still use the teleport points , it's fine by them if they wanna visit venti for some dandelion wine or zhongli for tales and tea

overlooking the whole imposter or villain au's i like to think being isekai'd into teyvat would be pretty chill

oooo r def likes to hangout / help out in bakeries n stuff

they're also besties with hu tao ( they kiss sometimes probably )

r and cyno have so many inside jokes pls help

idk maybe i'll continue this later or add onto it but im sleepy night guys

[peachshadows]

Love the thought of c!Peng and Azure also pining for the c!shadowpeach, but could you imagine c!Macaque trying to fix his relationship with the c!brotherhood in the canon universe after all the shenanigans gets resolved (Jade Emperor Azure etc.)and ending up the closest to Azure because they have more similarities than they initially thought. And he goes to sundown universe and just absolutely blasts SD!Azure's ear off about all these cool things he learned and how Azure would probably like some of them. And just SD!Azure just being so confused, SD!Peng ans SD!Wukong being jealous, C!Wukong proud Mac is coming out of his shell and SD!Mac just being shocked at how casually this version of him is being playful towards SD!Azure.

Like:

SD!Mac: What r u doing!? He's a threat to our marriage—!

C!Mac: What? Pfft, no..! He's just a silly cat. Dude is a total softy, he likes neck scratches, he let's me do it to him.

SD!Azure: *too shock to operate* I-I what..?

C!Mac: You're totally adorable, big guy. Pretty warm too. *pats him casually* I should've really gotten to know you more. Can't wait to get home and have that night drink with you, you're a cuddler when you're drunk too. Had to call Peng to get you off of me. I'm a tiny guy, big guy, be more careful with me *laughs and sighs* I miss that lion... Mine, my Azure, my world's Azure that is... Not you, well, technically you?

SD!Azure: ... Your... Your Azure..?

SD!Peng and SD!Wukong: *cracks their knuckles and looks at c!Wukong*

C!Wukong: *puts his hands up in defense* In my defense, I didn't know Azure is a cuddler. I'm on your side, I'm mad as well. That should've been me—

In addition, C!Mac is, unlike SD!Mac, aware that C!Peng HAD a crush on him (Peng doesn't anymore) , so he would actively make Wukong jealous while C!Peng being better besties now helps him out. So C!Mac assumed it's the same in this universe, that SD!Peng no longer has a crush on SD!Mac and playfully flirts with him to make C!Wukong mad but because this Peng still does actually have a crush on him, it's just all around chaos for everyone. And C!Mac doesn't even know it.

OOOOO THAT IS FUN!! Love the idea of c! Macaque and c!Azure being besties and that just shocks everyone considering the start of their relationship was really just non existent

[mishkakagehishka]

thank you for enabling me korka ily. your writing is amazing <3 idea number one! numero uno! silly little Mika fluff!! How about Mika realizing he has a crush on someone; and his idea of a confession is to make them a plushie! But Arashi tells him he needs a little more flare than that to make his feelings clear. So, perhaps some cute little Mika shenanigans, trying to plan the 'perfect' confession and make the best plushie for his potential partner~?

I told you this was the first fic I'm gonna write in the new city, and I think I kept my promise. I thought about scheduling this for your bday, but~ Instead of a late request, consider this an early bday gift <3 and I hope I'll get your second request finished in time, but I can't make any promises

Title: Operation: Score Mika a Date Word count: 3576 Summary: Arashi does her best to make Mika finally, finally confess to his crush. But when nothing she suggests works, maybe it's best to trust Mika do to it his way... Notes: Less of a focus on the "making the best plushie" part, but I hope I made up with it with the shenanigans. Arashi turned out to be a major character lol and Mika and Naru being besties <3

“Na~ru-cha~n!” Cries reverberated throughout the common room. Mika, the originator of said cries, laid draped across the aforementioned Naru-chan’s lap, whining all the while. "I dunno what to do!" he drawled out, groaning into her thighs. And Arashi, who tried her best to comfort him by petting his hair, sighed. "Well, they seem to like you, don't they? You're always telling me about how they give you compliments and like talking to you, right?" Of course, the “they” she was talking about was Mika’s crush. The person he’s been going on and on about for ages. He was absolutely in love, and it was obvious from how he alternated between crying and giggling about them every day. Today – it was crying. "But what if I'm misunderstandin'? What if they don't like me like that? Uuwh…” he cradled his head in his hands. “It makes my head hurt…" "You'll never know if you don't just tell them how you feel." "But what if… How do I even do that? I can't just tell 'em - I l-love ya…" "Oh, Mika-chan…" Arashi truly didn't know what to do about him anymore. "Just speak from your heart!" Mika paused, pondering it for a moment. He seemed to really give it some thought, his brows furrowing as Arashi continued twisting his hair around her fingers. Ultimately, however - "That ain't helpful at all!"

This has become their routine by now. Mika, the silly guy, managed to fall in love. No, rather, he tripped into love. Faceplanted straight into it before he was even aware of what had happened. Arashi was thrilled to find this out; she always aspired to live out a teen drama and if there was one thing missing from her checklist, it was helping her best friend woo their crush. Now her best friend, Mika, has finally fallen in love, and she, as knowledgeable as she is about matters of the heart, can help him! But Mika was not very open to her ideas. Every "Confess to them!" was met with "What if they reject me?", every "They were flirting!" with "They were just bein' polite" and every "Just ask if you can kiss them" with "Are ya crazy?! They'll start hatin' me!" It was as if he was working directly against her and himself, rejecting every idea in its conception, not even entertaining the idea of a happy ending. Yet, Arashi never gave up.

Like many best friends, they frequently had sleepovers together. When HiMERU and Tetora had work or other plans, Arashi would often invite Mika to sleep over in her dorm, and Mika would do the same whenever Ritsu was gone for the night. The beds were big enough, and they were close enough to share them without any awkwardness - not to mention that it was fun. And this time, too, Mika was sitting criss-cross on Arashi's bed, who was sitting on her legs next to him, peering at his phone while eating cucumber slices. "So, you’ll confess to them in person, right?" she inquired. “How are you going to ask them to meet up?” "I sent ‘em, … um, hey - are ya free this weekend?" "Oh, sweetie, that makes you sound too shy. Just ask if they want to hang out this weekend." "Ain't that too direct?" "Everybody likes direct men. You have to show you’re confident! You know what you want and you’re not afraid to ask for it!" Mika flinched. "Read!" he exclaimed. "They left me on read! N'agh…!! This is too stressful!" He hugged the pillow in his lap, burying his face into it. "Bein' in love sucks for real!"

"Alright, alright, it's not the end of the world, maybe they're busy! Put the phone down, come on, I'll do your nails." He hesitated letting go of his phone, hoping he’ll see them typing any second now, but ultimately doing as he was told. He watched Arashi grab her kit before setting his hands on a magazine. To be used as a pad; to avoid getting product on the bed sheets. It was a magazine targeted towards girls, one of Arashi’s older ones. A few seconds passed in silence, but, as she started prepping his nails for the new paintjob, she began speaking, "Talk to me, Mika-chan. How are you planning on confessing, anyway?" "’M not. I mean, I am, but I ain’t got a plan. I was just gonna wing it." "Wing it?! Oh, dear… Well, fine, think about it now. What do you think you could do? I’m sooo curious, and you never talk with me about your plans on seducing them." "Se-seducin’?" His face burnt red. "I dunno… They mentioned they liked the plushies I made once. Maybe I can make 'em a plushie and…" "I'm sure that'd be cute, but for a confession," she tsked, "you'd need a bit more pizazz!" He tilted his head, not unlike a confused puppy. "Pizazz! Flair! Everybody loves a grand gesture of love. Hmm, actually-" She set her tools down, raising his hands and grabbing the magazine that was under them. As she showed its cover to Mika, she beamed, "Look! Read what's written here!" "Um… I dun think knowin' trends from four years ago will impress 'em." A groan. "No, silly, here." She pressed her finger against a box of text in the corner. "The 10 best ways to confess to your crush! You can even do their 'Do they like you back?' quiz if you’re so worried!"

When Mika's nails were painted and dried, he helped Arashi dye her hair. Rather, he was dying her hair while she read him out the questions in the magazine’s quiz, marking all his answers to count up later. "Do they go out of their way to talk to you? A: they only talk to me when they have to, B: no, they tend to avoid me, C: sometimes, but they stick to small talk, or D: yes, they talk to me about almost every topic there is." He huffed. "Well, I guess D…?" "Alright… Do they find excuses to touch you while talking to you?" "N'ah… I dunno. They touch my arm when I make 'em laugh and… Sometimes they bump their knee against mine when we sit next'ta each other?" "That's a yes!" As she tallied up his answers, he was finishing up with her undercut. Absentmindedly playing with her hair as his thoughts trailed off.

Mika knew he had to confess to them someday. Being around them started becoming painful recently (he's been pining for some months, and being friends with your crush can sometimes be a curse as much as a blessing), and he felt guilty over how much his heart hurt every time they made plans with somebody else instead of with him. They've become friends and, he was certain because of how much of a catch they are, it was only a matter of time before they end up telling him about a significant other. His heart would break. He had to confess, otherwise he was always going to wonder. Especially if they start dating someone else, especially if it turns serious. He can pretend to be happy for them, but… "Great news, Mika-chan! Listen, it says: Sparks are flying! You are your crush's crush! If they not only like being around you, but also initiate conversation often, if they hold eye contact and smile easily at you, if they can't help laughing at your every joke (no matter how bad) and touching your shoulder when you talk - they like-like you! Confessing is not only safe, but highly encouraged. A romance is already blooming between you, and you need to make sure you lock it in." She closed the magazine, leaving it on the desk and spinning around in her chair to meet Mika's wide-eyed stare. "See? Just as I told you! They li~ke you, Mika-chan, you have to tell them how you feel! As your best friend," she placed a hand over her heart, as if swearing, "it is my duty to make sure you two end up on at least one successful date." He bit his lip. Truthfully, he felt like crying, both out of happiness, but also out of anxiety. He was afraid to raise his expectations, but if Arashi was that confident… "Alright. What's it say 'bout those ways of confessin'?" "That's my bestie!! So-" she grabbed the magazine again, jumping from the chair to the bed again. But a ping interrupted them. Mika's phone. He immediately grabbed it, checking the new notification. Arashi looked at him worriedly as he started trembling, but his huge smile quickly made those worries dissipate. "They replied!" he all but squealed. "They replied?!" "They replied!!"

It was easier to convince Mika to go with the magazine's advice when Arashi had managed to convince him he had a chance. Usually, he would stay away from grand gestures - he was shy himself and didn't like the pressure of it all - but the seductive sparkle of the possibility of a date with his crush was too tempting to turn down. And so, method one: asking them out directly. Per Arashi's instructions, Mika was to talk to his crush, and ask them if they wanted to get coffee with him after work. Something casual enough, but obvious as a date. Unfortunately for Mika, his crush responded with, "Oh, cool! Should we invite the others, too?" … Arashi bought him ice cream and promised they were just a little oblivious. It can't be helped, since he was too chicken to say, "As a date".

Method two: leaving them a note. They both decided that would be a good next step. He can write out a proper confession, and not worry about stuttering or chickening out. All he has to do is write out his thoughts, leave the note somewhere where they'd see it, and then wait for them to bring it up. Mika poured his soul into that note, he didn't even want Arashi to give him advice on it - he wanted it to be all his own words. He mentioned how long he's liked them and how shy he feels around them, the excuse for why he's writing a note. How he really wants to take them out on a date. How he just wants that single chance, one date! But that he'll respect their wishes if they don't feel the same way, not even enough to give it a shot. He ends it all with a scribble of a flower. But in the adrenaline rush of "Oh, shit, I'm actually doing this, I'm actually leaving my heart out in the open," signing the note escaped his mind entirely. He just slipped it into their pocket when they weren't looking, and ran off.

"You're never gonna believe it, Mika!" they laughed, fishing for something in their pocket. "Look! I have a secret admirer~!" They waved the note in front of his face. His note. Did they recognise his handwriting? Were they making fun of him? He blushed, the very tips of his ears burning up, ready to deny and defend himself, but they spoke first. "What, are you jealous? Come on, you're an idol, I know you get love letters all the time, too, let me have this. You're no fun!" They joked. "O-oh, you dunno who it's from?" His heart was about to explode, he could feel it beating in his throat. "How could I? There's no signature. Whoever it is uses a really cute dialect, though." "Cute?" There it was. They were making fun of him. "Yeah, I think it's very attractive, actually. Well, I hope this person will actually ask me if I got their note, I'm dying of curiosity." "... Y'think it's attractive…" Mika has stopped listening. And functioning. "Hey? Mika? Do I need to take you to the infirmary? You're looking a bit feverish." "N'gah!" He got startled, hand clasping over his chest. "No, no, ‘m fine, I just suddenly remembered I have some, uh, work to do. See ya later!" It was a step closer, but he was still unhappy with the result. At least he could be comforted knowing they thought his dialect was cute. Attractive, even.

Method three: spreading a rumour. This one sounded counterproductive to Mika, but Arashi found merit in it. She was going to be the gossip, to "wing woman" him, as she put it. "Hey, did you hear," she whispered to whoever would listen, "that Kagehira has a crush on (y/n). He's head over heels in love. Do you think he has a chance?" All Mika had to do was gauge his crush's reaction to hearing the rumour, and decide whether it's a good enough reaction to mention that the rumour is true. It travelled across town fairly quickly (and Mika was scolded by Ibara over it, as it escaped the confinement of ES, but those were the sacrifices they had to make) and soon enough… "I heard a weird rumour, Mika - you'll laugh, I promise - people are saying you have a crush on me." They laughed, but he had trouble discerning whether they were laughing at the absurdity, or out of their own shyness. "Yeah, that’s… weird. And what do you think about it?" He stuffed a candy in his mouth the moment the sentence dripped off his tongue. Where did he get the courage for such direct questions? "I don't know. We're friends, aren't we? People often confuse close friends' behaviour with that of lovers. Maybe they thought you were into me because we always hang out alone. Like now!" "Right. That is funny." He never laughed in a more forced way. They'd already changed the subject, and he was left with no information on how to proceed.

"Mika-chan, I'll be honest," Arashi was lying on her stomach on Mika's bed, leafing through a fashion magazine. "I think we're running out of methods." Mika was sitting on the floor, back to his bed's frame, head leaned into his palms. "I know." "You're going to have to ask them out directly. I mean more directly than last time. You’re going to have to tell them you want to take them on a date, in those words exactly." "... I know. It's just!" He groaned, hitting the floor with a hand and leaning his head on the mattress. "This sucks, this sucks so bad! Why’s it so hard?! I'm always tellin' ya how I feel 'bout them, I can write it all out, I can talk to anyone else 'bout it, but in front of 'em, I just… I freeze up, like an idiot! Like a stupid, worthless coward! I hate it so much!" He sniffled, quickly wiping his eyes before the tears could fall. "It ain't fair at all! And nothin' I do is workin'... Naru-chan, I think they just don't like me and're pretendin' they don't get it. I'm probably embarrassin' myself badly 'n they're just too nice to say anythin'." "That's not true!" She flipped closed the magazine, shifting into a sitting position. "You're not an idiot or a coward! I don't want you to talk like that about yourself." "I am… I'm so stupid to think they'd even like me back." He hid his face in his hands. His shoulders were trembling, and Arashi felt bad. She felt guilty, as if her pushing him was to blame. "Are you crying...?" "... No." "Mika-chan, you're my best friend. I know when you're crying. Do you want a hug?" He just sobbed into his hands and nodded. And she got down, kneeled beside him, and hugged him close to her chest.

He cried into her shoulder for a minute or two. Shaking and sniffling, squeezing her for comfort. When his sobs died down, she took the chance to speak up, "Hey, Mika-chan, I had an idea." "Please, no more ideas… It ain't gonna work, nothin’ will." "No, hear me out. Please? You don't have to do it, just think about it." When she was met with silence, she decided to continue speaking. "Remember what you told me when we started Operation: Score Mika a Date? About the plushies? I was thinking…"

It took weeks of hard work. A big chunk of his savings for the materials, too. And a lot of patience. But it was finished. He'd already called his crush and asked them to meet up in their usual hangout spot, one that he knew wasn't going to be crowded. And he arrived early, enough that he can take a moment to calm down and steel his nerves. Even Arashi came with him, hoping to give him a last-minute pep talk. "You have it with you?" She asked rubbing his shoulder. "I do, 's here." "You got this, okay? If they reject you, just nod and say-" "'S okay, I hope we can still be friends - I know." "And don't be pushy." "Mhm." "Oh, I think I see them… I'll be a bit further away if you'll need me. Text me how it goes, okay?" "Y-yeah."

Arashi left, and a few minutes later, his crush stood in front of him. "Hey! You said you wanted to see me because you had something to tell me? It's not something bad, I hope?" He stood silently. Gulped. He was holding his gift behind his back, and he could feel his palms getting sweatier. It was now or never. "(Y/n)-chan," he didn't stutter yet, "I wanted to give ya somethin'. You said ya liked my plushies, so…" He slowly brought his hand in front of him. He was holding a classical teddy bear, with dark green fur and mismatched yellow-blue button eyes. Though the craftsmanship was definitely a bit unprofessional, the amount of care and love that went into it was truly visible. The bear was holding a heart, sewn into its paws, with embroidered lettering. Shaky, but obviously something that was worked very hard on. A simple message on it: I love ya.

Mika's hands were shaking as he outstretched them, offering them the plush bear. "Ac-accept it, please." And he bit his tongue for that stutter. "And… Accept my feelings… (Y/n)-chan, I wanna be yer boyfriend." Did he sound confident enough? He hoped he did. He was certain he didn't look confident, what with the blushing and the avoiding eye contact, but he said it loudly, clearly… "D’ya wanna go out with me?" He really couldn’t look them in the eye, instead he stared down, fiddling with his sleeves, while waiting for the answer. Seconds felt like hours. He looked up timidly, curious on why they were silent. He was afraid they were creeped out. But they were… staring at the teddy bear. "It's really cute. I love it… Thank you, Mika!" They smiled at him. His heart skipped a beat and his knees nearly buckled. He didn't want to press them for an answer to his confession, but he couldn't deny that not even that praise was enough to distract him. He just wanted to hear an answer. "And… So, will ya…?" "The rumour was true, then?" They smirked at him. Mika was truly going to die if they kept looking at him like that. But he nodded. All his cards were now thrown face-up on the table. "The note… The note, too. Tha' was me…" "I knew it," they laughed. "It was so hard trying to give you hints to just ask me out already. But it was cute watching you struggle." "N'ah? Ya wanted me to…? Is that a yes? You'll go out with me?" His vision was getting blurry, and if his legs don't actually give out, he'll consider it a miracle. Mika was barely breathing, his heart beating out of his chest from the excitement. And his eyes just sparkled as he leaned in closer to them, eager and excited. If he had a tail, it’d certainly be wagging. "Of course I will! Let's make this our date, then. Where do you want to go?"

When he arrived home that day, he was running on autopilot. He texted his crush, no, his significant other (he's getting giddy just thinking about it!) he had fun today. He asked them if they want to go on another date sometime soon. He took a shower, changed into his pyjamas, and he just… lied in his bed, staring at the ceiling. Before flipping over and screaming into his pillow. Memories of their first date still fresh in his mind. They walked holding hands, they shared cotton candy… When they were sitting on a bench, they even leaned their head on his shoulder. They did all the things couples do on dates… They were a couple now! He held the pillow closer. When the sun set, he walked them home and they… He kissed them.

Mika was still high off the excitement of that day. He wasn't going to get any sleep that night, but he's happy. He's as happy as he was when he was accepted into Yumenosaki, when Shu allowed him to become a part of Valkyrie. He just wanted to call them, to hear their voice again, but instead he called Arashi. He wasn't going to bother them so late in the evening, and Arashi was dying to hear the details, anyway. One thing is certain, however: Mika cannot wait for their next date.

[burning-thistles-bt]

Lightningships... isn't it ironic the ArospecAce has the most partners/confirmed crushes/volatile love life? something something yearning for what you can't have

Obviously this isn't Lightningfur's first pride so you guys know the drill here, she's Aromantic-spectrum (disinclined towards romantic feelings but not incapable of feeling them to some capacity, often tilted towards a demiromantic way where she must be close to the cat first, but then she also only feels it sparsely/not strongly/not continuously), Asexual (feels no sexual attraction/lust, strongly sex-repulsed), and Lesbian (only experiences attraction towards feminine-presenting people)!

BT Mild-to-Semi-Major Spoilers Below (depends on how well you theorize)

SilverLightning - ohhh the yearning and the can't-having! First of all, they're besties <3 a tale I've told a hundred times, Lightningfur isn't even aware she has any kind of crush on Silverstream and Silverstream is tragically Straight. And that's completely true - Silverstream holds no romantic feelings for Lightningfur. Her heart never does a little flip for Lightningfur and she never looks at her and thinks "wow, she's kind of pretty..." That being said, Lightningfur is her Fucking Bestie. And, well, okay, actually, that's Lightningfur. You don't mess with Lightningfur's bestie. Lightningfur is a very possessive person who wants everything that's "hers" to stay hers. She's self-centered in that way, but Silverstream is a more "carefree" kind of self-centered. The world resolves around her, and Lightningfur is just another planet in her orbit... She cares a lot about Lightningfur, but it's not until certain events occur that Silverstream begins to realize she's not the world... and that Lightningfur is the only one who ever believed her to be. Who knows, maybe they'll both get their happy ever afterlife...

SedgeLightning - we all know this story too, Sedgecreek is blindly head over heels for Lightningfur for... some reason. Needless to say, the recent killing of Spottedleaf has definitely shaken Sedgecreek, but she still holds out hope because it was "just an accident..." Though, how long that hope will last stands to be seen... Sedgecreek's crush on Lightningfur was not entirely unreciprocated - Lightningfur, at her weakest after Silverstream's death, was certainly yearning for some kind of comfort, even if she would never ever admit it. While it wasn't necessarily a crush to the degree she had on Silverstream or will have on Fury, there was definitely a kind of "give me attention, please love me" to her, even as she said and did the exact opposite. A little "what if...?" perhaps, that Lightningfur never let herself think long about because, ew, Sedgecreek is annoying, and also, she totally definitely doesn't want a mate. Which is/was true, until Silverstream died, and she had an eternal epiphany that she mentally blocked out (because Silverstream was basically hers and now she's alone).

FuriousLightning - FURY AND LIGHTNINGFUR!!! THE SHIP EVER!!!! Ahahahahaha, I'm so obsessed with them. Okay, let's start here: Lightningfur is at the end of her rope. No, actually, the ropes been fucking burned, and she's lost and hopeless and going crazy. And here's Fury, flirting with her. Lightningfur doesn't know what the fuck Fury is doing, but she does know she loves how crazy Fury is. How blood-thirsty she is and how powerful and loud and angry. Fury is the first cat who truly matches her skill and drive, and Lightningfur is already enjoying the company of such a strong murderer (at this point, not in a romantic way, it's just admirance/desire for friendship). Fury, meanwhile, sees Lightningfur's similar bloodlust and lack of fear or cowardship, and is immediately intrigued. Fury is a bit of a compulsive flirter, the kind of girl going to parties just to sleep with people and steal their wallets during the ordeal. Though, the fact that Lightningfur gets confused rather than flustered when she flirts with her is definitely very amusing to Fury. Lightningfur is a curious soul to her, one that Fury is eager to take a closer look at, and when that rope burns, she might just have her opportunity... Lightningfur is desperate for company, something to (guide her) sink her claws into and call her own, and her eyes are opened up to new possibilities she'd always thought ridiculous and pointless as a new dawn starts for her. Anything to feel like she's still in control.

???Lightning - Đ̸̳̙̦͒̊̀̓́͊̂̌́̍̄̓̚͘̕͘Ø̶̡̨͍̤̫͔͔͕̜͈͈̒̉͗̿̌̅̉̉₦̴̠̱̺̰̰̦͙̰͈͙͖̬̗̠̎̅̉̀̈́̈͆͜'̴͓͔͎̪͈̤̳̹͙͔̠̗͆͛̌̂̋̒̒͐̐̐̌́͘̚̚͜ͅ₮̸̫̈̾͒͋ ̸̨̲̱̲̹̪̲̻̦͔̆͗͗̐̃̋͒ͅ₮̴̧͔̫͖̜̰̬̹̰͈͇̜͓͈̮͒̈́̿̂͜Ø̶̧̣̭̭̹̀̔́̋͊͗͑̒̚̚Ʉ̵̧̜̲͇̥̻̌͑̍̐̐̋́̽̈́͐̓̔̈́̕̚͜͠₵̵͔̂̐̃̓Ⱨ̸̧̻͎̺̫̹̝͎̮̦̣͚̰̾̓̑͒̿̆́͛͊̂̒ ̵̲̩͓͉̹̦̮̈́͗͋̀͑͑̀̀̕͠₥̸̘͈̻͕̿̾̿̑͠͝Ɇ̷̨̫̰͇̞͔̖͇̤͙̫̲͉̒̈́̋̊̂̓͌̿̕

CinderLightning - A ship long revealed at this point, Cinders and Lightningfur!!! Oh the spoilers to be had.... If you've caught onto the pattern of the Lightningships, you'll know that they're not all so easily happy and lovey dovey like FireSand or CopperDawn or RavenBarley. No, they're far from it. But I'd like to think this is the closest you'll get to it for Lightningfur, outside of SilverLightning's friendship when Silverstream was alive. At this point in Lightningfur's life, she knows exactly what she wants and she's going to fucking keep it this time---"You're MINE." And Cinders? Cinders is more than fine with it as long, especially after recent events, and she just wants to stay safe and protected and she'll pretend to be a little dumber so it'll stay that way for the both of them. Lightningfur makes a surprisingly good housewife, no? And an even better guard dog.

[atopvisenyashill]

general thoughts-

this is ep 4 & 5, which means i’m onto ep 6 and beyond and that’s usually where i start falling asleep and go “actually there’s another show i could be watching” so that’s gonna be fun aksjdj

if jory has a million fans, i am one of them. if he has one fan, i am that fan. if he has no fans it means i am DEAD.

i think john bradly is kinda awkward at first but i definitely remember him improving. he comes off a bit insincere in some spots to me but he has good chemistry with kit - when sam is like “so you DIDNT know where to put it” and jon runs over to whack him, that feels very genuine, just two boyfriends besties fucking around.

i do love alliser thorne walking in like “i know what you are” can a man not have a giggle with another man. he’s such a hater.

just the immediate, zero hesitation “you’re too fat for your armor” oh i Know ned desires that man carnally

i have completely forgotten why hugh hammer was important i had to go look him up ajsjdh

ned looking back at littlefinger like “alright we’re friends but let’s not get unserious here” when he puts his hand on sansa’s shoulder

JOFFREY STANDS UP IN ALARM (and interest) WHEN SANDOR JUMPS IN, and joffrey keeps looking at robert to see what robert is going to do, he’s like impressed, slightly concerned, excited, then you see robert kinda look joffrey’s way before he says to stop. jack, mark……………deserved award nominations dammit…….

the little fish pin bran is playing with while he’s thinking of his mom…… “from the moment i placed her in your arms to the moment she dies, she will love you” “sometimes i think you are too smart for your own good” IM GONNA SCREAM ACTUALLY.

not i moved closer to the tv to get a look at the lil fish pendant and then ros’ boobs were just right there 😭😭 i’m not saying i don’t respect sexposition but i am saying we could have gotten nedcat sexposition instead of making ros do all the heavy lifting here.

Conleth Hill is so funny as Varys. He’s got perfect comedic timing, his cadence when he’s going back and forth with someone else is always spot on, you’re always getting the feeling he’s laughing at you.

me and my sibling like to decide out loud if it’s a “good enough” reason to use that word and i’m sorry “they say the eyrie is impregnable” “i’ll impregnate the bitch” Not A Good Enough Reason To Use That Word

Ramin is a genius for this score, the way the music in the scene in the Eyrie is so unsettling but never loud, staying at the same low level until tyrion gets to the sky dungeon and THEN starting to crescendo? i love him i would die for him

this renly & loras scene is the sexiest scene in the whole series. the focus on the hair around renly’s nipple. the bitchy way they snipe at each other in between trading new pieces of hot goss. loras bullying renly into committing treason. “if you want hairless maybe you should find a little boy” “i want you” RICH coming from the man who groomed his squire.

jory’s death & this fight scene always stands out in the series and the show does a great job making it stand out too. that absolutely visceral eye horror where jory’s still aware for a few seconds & the way they REALLY let sean bean & ncw start warming up with the sword skills only to CUT THAT SHIT OFF and jaime is so upset but not enough to do anything different. really fun.

changes i noticed

i feel like they made theon much less weird. where is his inappropriate giggling. why is he not flirting with robb’s mom. i do like this convo between him and tyrion though, don’t get me wrong, i love the dynamics of it, and i love the way it’s in conversation with theon’s story as it goes on - both in that he enters another absolutely stupid ass war bc of pride, and also that he’s going to become physically disabled, but here he invokes an ableist insult towards Tyrion to soothe his own wounds over Tyrion taunting him specifically about his fondness for the Starks being so pathetic considering his status as a hostage. Tyrion says something cruel and Theon is cruel right back; this is traumatic and yet just another Tuesday for both of these men.

i remember so much discourse about this tyrion/theon scene and like which one is more ~problematic~ in this scene and it’s like bro. they’re both being huge assholes here for a very specific reason and they both deserved to get clouted what do u want from a convo between two of the most maladjusted characters in this series aksjdj

Having Petyr creepily whisper Sandor’s backstory which he shouldn’t even fucking know in Sansa’s ear instead of letting Sandor tell that story himself. Beyond that I just Don’t understand the fascination d&d seem to have for aiden’s acting and littlefucker as a character, i just don’t get the point of taking like The Foundational Sandor/Sansa scene, which is also Foundational to Sansa’s changing concept of morality and honor, as well as the overreaching concept of what a True Knight is, and giving it to a character who just Does Not Fuck With Sandor Like That. i hate this. it’s one of my favorite scenes and they just destroyed it for what. for a dude otherwise known for being the Worse, Less Sexy version of brian kinney?? rory mccann would have Killed This Scene!! I FEEL RAGE!!!!!!!

ONCE AGAIN they take the kill catelyn makes to save tyrion’s life and give it to tyrion for…..WHAT. FOR WHY. I WANT THEM DEAD FOR WHAT THEY DID TO CAT OMG.

Okay here we go, weird Theon. I think this Theon/Ros scene starts out good but it could have ended better. Like, the way he can’t even go to a brothel without being mocked for being a hostage. His fixation on Tyrion’s sex life. The way he is too close to Ros’ face when he’s talking to her. I like that last “i don’t want to pay for it” “then get yourself a wife” exchange but i think his comment about his father and her return should have been sharper. It’s missing that Pizzaz that the other added scenes have.

They changed up the Council scene by changing the wording to include the “honorable fool” nonsense, and also cut out barristan so ned doesn’t have someone on the council who he actually gets to come around to his argument, as well as cutting several points of his argument. It’s so stupid. They think Ned is so fucking stupid. ugh.

This next Robert/Cersei scene isn’t imo as good a setup as some of the other ones, because I don’t think Robert OR Cersei are emotionally in a space where she could come up there and argue that much with him and still get him genuinely explaining why he feels a certain way to her. On the other hand, the actual dialogue is VERY in character - Robert breaking down his worries about Dany is good, Cersei being both angry but also deeply curious about how to lead the realm, the way they both start drinking together and cracking up at the idea that their marriage is holding the realm together. Amazing. I love the way the redness seeps out of Robert’s face as the conversation turns serious. It’s almost like he wants to reach out to comfort Cersei, but he does it once again in the most selfish way possible by laying this horrible emotional burden on her shoulders. “does that make you feel better or worse?” “it doesn’t make me feel anything.” it’s so good. i can’t believe neither of them were nominated for this.

i also really like this scene for the later parallel they do with Aemon - the way Robert’s love for Lyanna is so meaningless, an excuse for him to disappear into his vices, she was so nonexistent as a person to him that he can’t even remember anything but the idealized stone statue of her face, and here is Aemon so much further removed from his loved ones, so far removed from even when his memory involved seeing, and he pours over every detail in his mind to remember her face

[ayosdesignz-blog]

Hey so about fictional newyork?

All the mutants, mutates, freaks, geeks, sneaks, and geniuses seem to congregate this big small area without really overlaping all that much even when the characters are owned by the same company.

And that's just not fun enough.

Please keep in mind that I had no access to comics as a child. l have not had the opportunity yet to get my hands on comics now to gorge myself on and am MOST familiar with the old 80s/90s cartoons/shows and subsequent movies.

I am aware that the marvel movies are having heros occupy the same space in cinema. I'm aware of the spiderverse and even got to watch the 1st movie. I'm even aware that in more recent years (I think?) There was an official animated movie special that had Batman and the teenage mutant ninja turtles working together.

But I have yet to hear of any such thing for the TMNT meeting Spider-Man. And that's just wasted opportunity in my opinion.

So I wanted to ask my fellow fanfic readers (and fanfic writers if you see this)

Can ya recommend me a cool Spideypool fic that has the fantastic four, avengers, x -men acknowledged to exist and interact as friends. Team red being a thing and Spider-Man being one of the few to know the TMNT are real and works with them periodically as well as learned additional fighting skills from them with them helping to train his spidey sense some with their ninja skills. And Spidey in turn has 4 additional hero friends he can be himself with and they know who he is(who they gonna tell? Plus they keep distant surveillance on his loved ones for him) and were even introduced to his loved ones as a safety measure. Everyone likes Aunt May, Mikey especially likes the treats and trinkets she always has on hand to give them when they secretly visit her when Peter is too busy to so she isn't too lonely.

I basically wanna read a fic where Spider-Man grew into his heroism with 4 ninja turtle friends no one knew about. As an adult he managed to make his own punloving team in team red. Has worked to slowly introduce TMNT to other accepting allies/friends of his he thinks will mix well.

And while the xmen have a snooty gate keeping model of "mutates aren't real mutants" they're still nice in general and Kurt/Nightkrawler becomes their newest bestie while Master Splinter and Beast and the Thing are tea drinking buddies.

Deadpool meanwhile has been long gaming it to try to wife up Spidey even while accepting whatever he can get. And loses his shit once he's finally introduced to the TMNT because he'd hope they were real but didn't expect them to be for some reason. He's always wanting to spar with them for fun. And lightly flirts of course.

Team red and TMNT spar and the turtles use the spiderman and daredevil's senses as a game to increase stealth whereas the other 2 use it to increase their awareness. Deadpool tends to switch sides in the game.

[karizard-ao3]

Gonna climb in the miraculous asks. How do you think Eren and Mikasa would think of Adrien/Chat Noir and Marinette/Ladybug and vice versa?

You've been very patient, anon!

If we're assuming they meet in some kind of crossover where Eremika end up in Paris, I think there's a very real danger that Adrien might become taken with Mikasa, since she seems to be exactly his type (I've heard that in later seasons the love square reverses but I haven't seen those episodes yet, so I'm pretending they don't exist for the purpose of this ask although I'm so excited for them because I've been very indignant that Marinette is so dismissive of Adrien's alter ego while he is very fond of her in both her forms). I wonder if perhaps he might even think she's Ladybug.

As you can imagine, this puts him on Eren's shit list even if Eren's not aware why he has found it necessary to place him there. This also gives Marinette a reason to dislike Mikasa, although I'm sure that once she realizes Mikasa is into Eren she will immediately flip a switch and be besties with her and invite her over for sleepovers where they make scrapbooks of their crushes. I can imagine Adrien being like, "I understand why you don't want to be friends with me. You're in love with Mikasa. I'm in love with someone, too." And Eren is just like, "😳 don't talk to me anymore" and immediately gets akumatized because he's so embarrassed.

Geez. Imagine Eren akumatized and then Hawkmoth realizes he can turn into a Titan.

Anyway, I do feel like it's in battle that the quartet is really not going to know what to make of each other, because ladybug and char noir will be running around making quips and being clever, and then Eren and Mikasa will swoop in with their ODM gear and their blades and start trying to cut out the akumas and decapitate Hawkmoth. I think Eren would berate Ladybug and Chat for not taking battle seriously enough, and bitch about how they're wasting time with one liners and flirting and Mikasa would be quoting Eren like, "If we don't fight, we can't win" to try to get them moving, and Ladybug and Chat would be like, "why are you so violent? We're all just kids! We shouldn't be killing people!"

So yeah. Those are some of my thoughts about how it might go!

[thenuministry]

Remembrance: A Personal Short Story

Responding to impulse and taste buds, I jumped out of my wooden chair.

‘I’m getting a piece of cheescake, you want anything?’

Intrigued, my best friend looks up at me.

With his eyes, he takes a visual stroll over the display of cakes and sandwiches.

He caresses the stack of books we’ve collected in the last 45 minutes.

The stack representing our subconscious attempt to recreate early adulthood passions and excitement for llewellyn books back before we knew a thing or two.

His eyes dart between his left and right shoulders before he looks back at me.

‘No, I’m good. Actually….maybe…a tea?’

Knowing our favorite tea, a hot cinnamon sunset by Harney and Sons with a dash of cinnamon and two table spoons of honey, I feel a smirk come upon my face.

I chuckle and put on my best rendition of the flirt.

‘Ochun in a cup!?’

He mirrors my expression and oozes over the stack of books as if Harney and his sons had materialized into a seductive and charismatic cult organization. 

Demonstrating his desire; he vocalizes the sound of his approaching pleasure.

‘Ochuuuun in a cuuuup!’

I roll my eyes, and nod my head while laughing under my breathe.

He’s always like this.

As I walk towards the cafe, I am aware of my body and the deprecating dialogue I can’t seem to ever escape.

At least, the weather understands me.

It knows how I feel about myself. It knows how others feel about me. 

This weather and I, had a thing or two in common.

We were both depressed, uncomfortable, and riding on the possibility of explosive expression. Our dark secret being that we both felt like an inconvenience, as opposed to the love and welcome that a bright and sunny day receives.

I am, somehow; always off kilter.

Especially, when it comes to the weather. 

I tend to embrace whatever comes at me never checking the stats and going with what is happening moment to moment.

Right now, what is, is that its starting to rain. Everyone resents the rain despite preparing for it. And I, resent their resentment.

Also, I fucking haaaate umbrellas.

Especially, on New York streets.

‘Sasha…Sasha…’

The baristas voice makes its way into my ears, separating me from the allure of my personal Hell. I turn my gaze away from the glass panels that cover this particular Barnes and Noble and look back at the barista.

‘I’m sorry, I’m always in a daydream.’ I say this as if she were somehow exposed to my inner world of doom, gloom, and shame. 

The barista shrugs her shoulders, and smiles to be polite.

Again, I am casually disassociating and caught in the moment; completely missing her outstretched arm with my best friends tea in her hand.

She just wants to get back to her washcloth.

Embarrassed at my inability to stay present, I open my mouth suggesting a brief smile of gratitude, quickly taking my cake and tea with me.

My best friend is buried in two books at once, absorbing information as he always does. With admiration, I continue to walk towards our table feeling my appreciation for his capacity to hold so much information and his hunger for continued study and knowledge.

I will never know why I am his friend.

I don’t know why he likes me or keeps me around.

I’m pretty ann-

‘Ochun in a cup…yaaaas!’ He says as his voice squeeks in excitement.

I feel his joy cover me, breaking me free of my intrusive, cycling thoughts. 

I place the tea in front of him and then situate my cake, sizing it up to see where I am going to start while wondering if I am going to like it. 

$7 pieces of cheesecake are usually a hit or miss for me. 

My bestie breaks my focus.

‘You know Padrino wants us to stop by for thanksgiving. Do you think you want to come with?’. 

Here go my feelings again, a fucking ouija board without a planchette. 

A part of me desires to connect with my spiritual godparents, another part of me feels resentment at their selective care for  certain godchildren, and another part of me just feels guilty about feeling any and all of this.

As I search myself, I hear my best friend closing his books. He slides his hand into the center of our table.

‘You don’t have to, but if you want to go, you’ll be with me.’

I feel my discomfort stirring and beginning to pour out of my cells. My scent gives me away; an aroma reminiscent of basil and thyme-of love and bitterness.

I sigh.

‘Yea, I know. I feel like I call too much attention and I dont want to be in a room with people who seem to be unsure about me.

Not seem. Are unsure about me.

My best friend raises his finger to his lips.

‘No, I don’t think they are unsure about you. I think they love you. They think you are to yourself, but they don’t think anything of it. You’re a classic child of Centella.’

Centella Ndoki, what Paleros call the ‘lesser spirits’ of afro cuban necromancy and to whom I am initiated. 

The Storm Spirit, Queen of the Dead, the Witch of all Witches.

‘What are you thinking about?’ 

I notice his hand is in front of me, again gauging my attention.

I can no longer contain my frustration.

I let go.

‘I don’t get any of this and I don’t feel like I am learning anything I’m supposed to. I am mostly there because of you. If it weren’t for you, they would not give me, Tania, or Marco the time of day but yet they always ‘need’ us. That’s not a blame, I just question the validity of all of this and my place within it. I am questioning my place in life, period.’

My demons begin to remind me of how much of a mess I am, how selfish I am to have said what I said and to assume I deserved anything. 

They continue to tempt me back into my comfortable hatred and anger towards my family which just so happens to be connected to my rage for being born.

I can’t even take my own life and end this; because, God….

This spiral makes me feel displaced, wrong, and stupid simply for fucking breathing.

I am nothing like them and even when i try to be like them, it still isn’t enough.

The fires in me are rising to an uncomfortable peak-

Barnes and noble fades away into the blackhole that is my mind, my thoughts are then swallowed up by silence.

This experience is like witnessing some sort of cosmic food chain.

For a moment, it is just me and my best friend in what feels like a bubble made up of soft clouds.

I turn to look at my best friend.

I wonder if he feels what I feel.

The shift in pressure. 

The quiet.

What just happened?

I watch as my best friends pupils dilate.

He inhales, his lips slowly parting.

‘Whoa…’

Curious and concerned, I lean in.

‘What, whats happening?’

‘You are a lot like Centella…’

My best friend looks at me as if he is looking past me and at me at the same time. 

He continues.

‘It makes sense why She chose you. You are dark, mysterious, hard to put a finger on. People can go crazy and obsessed if they spend too long trying to figure you out. People can feel this…and they are scared because they don’t know what it is.

Like you, she is very misunderstood and understood at the same time. It’s hard to explain.’

He bites his nail briefly, its clear he is deciphering some sort of code or message like he does when he is devouring books.

‘Most people can’t reach you because most people are not supposed to. They can’t until they are ready.’

He turns his head, I am assuming to receive more information.

My disappointment threatening the silence between us.

I want to be understood.

I want to be seen.

Wtf God!

‘Yoooooooo.’ He gasps as his hands wave with the zeal of a cartoon bird; his body communicates wildly in the ecstasy of revelation.

‘You are like chaos itself. Sasha…You have no idea what is coming for you. You have no idea who you really are. Sasha…

You have to get to know Centella better. Forget about our godparents, this is where She wants you. Shewants to teach you Herself. You are right to stay to yourself. Keep doing what you are doing, let hershow you.’

We hold each others gaze for a moment, though his looks more dazed and mine confused.

‘Sasha, its so beautiful.’

He looks away, clearly still ruminating on what he had seen.

Time slows down some more before it seems to snap back in place. 

My best friend resumes his study while I stare at my cake like The Oracle would jump out and tell me what just happened in this matrix.

I don’t feel beautiful.

Maybe, he was just trying to make me feel better. He is my best friend.

I cut into my cake with my fork curious and secretly grateful that I had something else to engage my mind with.

I can’t deny that something about what he said feels true.

I can’t put my finger on it.

I just know it’s important.

What is wrong with me?

One day, I will remember.

-Original story experienced in 2012

[wonusite]

Okay so i was looking at the asks i sent you and while reading this one i thought ablut the Seungkwan being an obvious flirt but reader not being aware of it and thinking he is just extremly friendly or just he is teasing her. Rest of the svt just making fun of him and him kicking them (him kicking soonyoung for several times playing in my mind anyday everyday, it just lives within me rent free)

And to combine it with yours, this has been going on for years you have known him and as a good bestie you try to set him up with someone 😀 he goes crazy because WHAT MORE HE HAS TO DO TO MAKR YPU RELAIZE HIS FEELINGS

Our poor boobear has to sit you down and tell you everything he had done that a bestie wouldnt do but someone who loves you romanticly would

Im soft for him bye

AHDBKSNSJSB STOP IMAGINE HOW FRUSTRATED OUR LITTLE BEAR WOULD BE 😭

he would do the most but eventually just have to sit you down and tell you how irrevocably in love w you he is. telling you about all the things he’s done to make you look at him and asks you to give him a chance 🫠

[tryst-art-archive]

Context: 2011

It's taken me a minute to reconstruct in my mind what transpired in 2011. Most of the rest of college I don't really see in years so much as an amorphous block of time defined by a smattering of events that I know the order of but have only the loosest sense of when they occurred exactly.

Healing

Following the departure of Boyfriend 2, I had an odd, lonely period that I can't fully account for. The way I remember it is that I was totally isolated, but that doesn't actually make sense because logically I would've still been seeing my bestie and our wider friend group. What would have been true, however, was that I would've been back to a state of real isolation within my own college (my friends being almost entirely of my bestie's college), so maybe that's what I'm remembering.

Regardless, I somehow came into contact with a group of odd, nerdy boys who lived on a different floor within my dorm building. I don't remember how we met exactly, but I suspect it was an event being hosted in one of the common rooms. Whatever the case, after meeting them, I spent about a month hanging out with them very regularly.

It was a time period in which I did things I wouldn't normally do. For example, they'd often go into Chinatown late at night to get authentic Chinese food, and so I'd find myself following them into the darkness despite barely knowing them, trusting to the group to keep me safe without having the certitude that I was safe with them. I went anyway, maybe because I wanted some of the life-other-than-the-one-I've-lived that I got to have while seeing Boyfriend 2.

I remember only a couple other girls of their acquaintance; for the most part, when I spent time with them, it was just with the boys. I also remember that one of them in particular I seemed to be able to communicate tacitly with; we were both very sharp, observant people with analytical minds, I think, so we'd mutually pick up on cues others might miss. I also remember some exchanges with him that could have been flirting or could have been a ribald sense of humor.

This period was short-lived, measured in weeks rather than months, and when I departed from their group, it was in my usual method of simply disappearing like a ghost. I remember being able to tell that the sharp boy picked up on what I was doing, that he was quietly mad about it. In disappearing without an explanation, I burned a bridge.

Which begs the question, of course, why did I bail on that little group of friends? Honestly, I was just becoming uncomfortable with them, not because anyone had done anything, but because I had a growing sense of not belonging, that these weren't My People and the nascent friendship we were engaging in was inherently temporary in nature. That wasn't something I felt I could communicate, so I simply didn't.

The Big One

In the poetry class I took in the second semester of my sophomore year of college, I met a boy I would, in time, fall in concerningly deep and unrequited love with. He caught my attention because of his snakeskin cowboy boots, and we became acquainted after he wrote a poem about being bi--a topic no one in the class besides me was willing to broach for fear of being presumptuous (whereas I saw it as so obviously the intent that not raising it would render the workshop critique meaningless).

We hooked up rather quickly, but our arrangement had a long run regardless. However, it also suffered from a core disagreement about its intent--one we were both aware of and tacitly agreed to leave unacknowledged: I was looking for a romantic relationship, whereas he wanted to keep things strictly friends-with-benefits. This would come back to haunt us.

In the meantime, though, we got along extremely well both interpersonally and intimately, and we genuinely cared about each other (even if the precise nature of the affection differed). He soon became a best friend, meaning that I now had two.

That was fortuitous because my bestie and his then-girlfriend broke up around the same time that me and my new fwb got together, and in fairly short order my bestie began seeing a fellow who would prove out to be his future husband, though that development was several years away.

During the honeymoon phase of their initial relationship, my bestie was absent from both me and our wider friendgroup much more often than before, which left me feeling abandoned. I, on the one hand, knew that it was a temporary state of affairs--just the honeymoon phase--but the feeling existed regardless of its logic. Having someone else to lean on during that time was clutch.

Additionally, one of the side effects of seeing FWB was going to a lot more parties with a wider range of people. As a rule, he spent time with people he felt were interesting, regardless of whether or not he personally liked them, and his core friend group got up to a lot more in the way of traditional college partying than mine ever had.

I, by and large, ate this stuff up. I was solidly outside my comfort zone, but the experiences were enriching. These were the first times I was out in public drunk, marveling at how the lights of Cambridge warped in response to my dulled senses. They were the times I went to breakfast with a squadron of hungover comrades closer to afternoon than morning. They were the times I found myself half-naked at clubs in big grind piles of friends, wearing a short-short skirt and the laciest bustier I owned.

These are the times I think of when I think about college. The ones I wish I'd been a boy for.

Change in Living Arrangements

Meanwhile, I moved into the 7-person apartment my bestie had been living in due to my first ex and his girlfriend moving out. I took over the bedroom my bestie had occupied, while he moved into the room previously occupied by the much-disliked couple. My new bedroom had at one time been a porch, and it was directly next to the unit's furnace and AC units so it was perpetually either too hot or too cold, which meant I often left the windows open in the winter to regulate it.

There's definitely something to be said for overcrowding and having that many people jammed in together, but I was by and large happy there. We had a really good space for what we could collectively afford at the time--it was always a great party apartment--and my core group of friends all lived there, so it was nice. We called the apartment CatHaus.