#while Batman

[frogaroundandfindout]

Bruce you make me so ill (Batman #416)

[outtamynoggin]

Daddy issues... son issues??

Jason: Can a parent have daddy issues?

Tim: Obviously. They-

Jason: No I mean can they have daddy issues for their child?

Tim: What the actual heck are you on about?

Jason: Because I SWEAR Bruce has daddy issues for Dick.

Tim: WHAT? WHAT?!! What the actual-

Jason: No, think about it. Someone with daddy issues has: Fear of abandonment, difficulty trusting a partner, feeling insecure in a relationship, being clingy or possessive, needing constant reassurance, being easily jealous or suspicious, and attracting abusive partners.

Tim: *panicking* Hold-

Jason: *on a roll* NO. Bruce literally stalks dick and gets mad and scared over him leaving, he doesn't trust his robins to meet his standards, he constantly trauma-dumps on Alfred about his and Dick’s relationship, and he’s super clingy and possessive when it comes to Dick—like, look at the Titans! He’s obsessed. He literally asks Dick if things are alright between them CONSTANTLY. Abusive partners? I don't mean to talk shit about Talia and Selina but they're literally villains.

Tim: *having a crisis*

Jason: Bruce Wayne- the first man to have daddy issues... in reverse.

Tim: *whimpering* Please stop talking.

Jason: ...But wait... all these things... doesn't Dick have some of them too?!

Tim: NO!

Jason: *speeding up* No, no.. HOLY SHIT, IT'S A CYCLE! Bruce is feeding into Dick's issues and Dick is feeding into Bruce's because Bruce is looking for validation from Dick and Dick is looking for validation in Bruce and they-

Tim: *frantically calling* KON, COME PICK ME UP. I'M SCARED.

[cebawoohoo]

Jason, texting Tim: at batburger rn. you want anything?

Tim: i’m in a meeting

Jason: okay

Jason: so what do you want?

Tim: the batburger deluxe without pickles and extra ketchup, as well as jorkerized fries and robin nuggets

Jason: okay fatass

LATER

Jason: come to lobby. i have your food. bitch ass security won’t let me come to you

[kayberrie]

he bites

[p0isonives]

conner kent has INCREDIBLE self control, cause if i came back from being dead to find out Tim Drake tried to clone me 99 times because he missed me so much, i’d immediately make him my bride

[waveoftheocean]

identity shenanigans ft. clark's supersniffer 😤

superbat (every)week winter exchange gift for @gravygranola - your prompts were so delightful and i wish i was able to incorporate more of them but i hope you like it regardless!!

also thank you so much to the @superbateveryweek mods for organizing this event 💕💕

[dudedidujust]

The daily planet runs a front page article calling superman the light of mankind

Cue the batfam launching a counter campaign in support of Signal,  the real Light of Mankind.

It starts as a joke but quickly derails into an all out war.

[noka-exe]

chronic finger biter clark vs nose exhaler bruce

[fact-dogsarehappiness]

Another reason why I’m a firm believer in letting Bruce get old is because the idea of him looking and his dark haired children without his glasses on and genuinely not being able to tell them apart is unparalleled

[oncillabrigade]

Finally read Robins!

I have a lot of thoughts, but I just want to say this panel is the funniest thing I've ever seen:

[inkpotsprite]

So this is why people think Duke is the best behaved one.

[everwalldigan]

I love the idea of all the robins kinda being clones of each other with just a few differences and a concussed Bruce not being able to tell who he’s squinting at so he just says generic statements and avoids saying any names

Bruce (sitting at the breakfast table): so… how’s the weather… dick?

Jason (grinning): you do know I’m gonna hold this against you for like, the next 2 months right

Bruce: (groans into his hands)

Bruce (walking into the living room): hey have you read through the files I gave you yesterday?

Dick: (confused cause he took a day off to surprise Bruce) ?

Bruce: so?

Dick: er… no?

Bruce: Dick?? What are you doing here?

Bruce (walks into the kitchen with a fresh concussion): Jason? I thought you were on a mission with the outlaws?

Tim: (frozen through mid fridge raid, having assumed they were past Bruce calling him Jason since yk. He’s a shit brickhouse now and Tim is, well, obviously not): uh?

Bruce: *turns around and leaves*

Bruce: Oh hey Cass, when did you arrive from Babs’?

Damian: (slowly turns around in the black hoodie he’s wearing) we’re not even the same gender

Bruce: (under his breath) yeah but the same height

[logicallyblind]

something there’s a distinct lack of in batman fanfics, especially ‘brucie wayne’ centred ones is the networking he’d have to be doing on the daily to maintain that sorta reputation

like, we all know the man knows how to throw a gala but where are the brunches? the happy hour gossip session with his cover’s clique of the week? the golf club dinners he has to attend every third week of the month? what about visits to hospitals or schools or the soup kitchens for his philanthropy? come on now

you’re telling me he’s the most sought after celebrity in gotham city and beyond, an infamous playboy and supposed extroverted people person who can use long holidays that can last weeks at a time away in tropical islands supposedly partying it up as a plausible excuse to hide his injuries sometimes but when he’s in gotham he’s either at wayne enterprise meetings or tucked away at home alone? nah

i want to see bruce having to really utilise those meditation breathing skills he learned in the league while he’s having to sit upright in a chair with 4 broken ribs, a sprained wrist and a minor concussion in a painfully bright restaurant at 3pm on a wednesday having to listen to bethany-anne titter on about the latest gossip about her neighbours affair with the maid that’s basically an open secret by now like pls there’s so many different routes you can go with this depending on the genre,,, make bruce have to REALLY commit to that cover of his lmao

[numberonedukethomasapologist]

As a artist

Ik Damian be crashing tf out

Damian:*muffled screaming from upstairs*

Duke: what the fuck was that..

Steph: oh thats just Damian in his art studio

Duke: isn't art supposed to be relaxing??..

Steph: 🤷🏼‍♀️

Damian: *yelling* I FUCKING HATE COLOR THEORY *window smashes*

[prlssprfctn]

Kinda obsessed with headcanon, where Damian and Jason just randomly (out of nowhere, completely unprompted) start to referring to their shared past in the League in the middle of the family conversations, while everyone just stare at them in concern

Like

Jason, staring at Dick, trying to put Tim's shoulder back: huh, do you remember that one time-

Damian, instantly: when grandfather's shoulder relocated by itself, but instead of properly putting in on its place, he killed himself and mother threw him in the Lazarus Pit?

Jason, cackling: it was hilarious

Damian, no less amused: right?

Bruce, sitting behind them: (concerned sips of tea)

Or, it is not necessarily funny, but it just cute (or sad) details, regarding each other that others are confused about.

Jason, who accidentally fell asleep in the Batcave: (instinctively cards through his hair as he naps)

Tim, teasing: ladies and gentlemen, the criminal lord of the year--

Damian: Drake, bluntly, that's not funny. Back when he was out of the Pit, this was the only thing that could help him to calm down.

Dick, knowing that this is because Bruce constantly stroked Robin!Jason's hair, when he saw nightmares, with eyes full of tears: oh

Jason on the random Friday night, trying to be less awkward about staying with Bruce in one room: actually, Damian's first word was my name

Bruce: really?

Jason: he had, uh, problems with saying his first word. People around him were constantly speaking on both language at the same time, and, I guess, he couldn't figure out what to say. Then, Ra's said that if his heir doesn't get his word in the next two weeks, he will throw him in the Lazarus Pit (as a joke), but I wasn't sure if it was a joke (Talia said later it was), and I panicked, and since Talia wasn't around, I just kept repeating him her name, or just word Mother, but he just, uh, wouldn't say anything - kept blinking and staring at me like a little idiot. And then on a random night, he just grabbed me by the hair, and said, Jason. Food. And he kinda spoke properly since then. Like in full sentences and stuff. I think he just didn't want to speak with us, actually--

Bruce, getting grey hair out of nowhere: RA'S SAID WHAT--

And sometimes they just speak in Arabic, and Damian keeps bullying Jason that his skills are getting rustier.

[notrobinsomethingworse]

Kid!Tim, showing Robin his room: So we have my photography cubby, not to be confused by my homework cubby. Then my desk, bed, conspiracy wall, wardrobe, other desk for my conspiracy wall-

Robin!Jason, nodding along with a fake smile. Pointing towards a side desk with candles and several framed photos of Batman: And what’s that over there.

Tim: oh that’s just my Batman shrine.

Jason: Ah.

Tim: Anyway! This is the kennel for all four of my stuffed dogs, my bookshelf for my conspiracy wall-