#which would have been traumatic but less so
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bwat5-blog · 2 days ago
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The Commander: Part One
**Spoilers For All of Arcane**
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Thankfully, despite being perhaps the least understood and appreciated character arc in modern media, the amount of incredible material being sent into the ether defending/explaining Caitlyn Kiramman's arc for season two has become truly inspiring. In fact, it was two statements I saw being echoed across the fandom that drove me to the point I was willing to emerge from lurkerdom, and start engaging with all of you wonderful people.
"Vi was the Jinx"
"Ku Klux Kiramman"
Now any of you who have kept up with my writing know that the first one is just about aneurysm inducing to me. And as such, I have written quite a bit about it. But the second one is no less idiotic, and while I have written multiple shorter pieces addressing various aspects of her character. It is on this subject I return to you tonight, hoping to put together a more complete picture of my thoughts on her story, and continue to support the recognition of the humanity, and heroism of Caitlyn Kiramman.
Before we begin, there will perhaps be someone who reads this, who has filed the story of Caitlyn Kiramman away under the heading of "ACAB", or "Facist" in their own mind, and chosen to turn away from what lies below the surface this tale. If that is you, welcome. I would encourage you to read ahead with an open mind and heart, and to see the humanity that lies in all of us reflected in this story both good and bad. For as Desmond Tutu once said "My humanity is bound up in yours, for we can only be human together"
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The Lead Up:
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At twenty-three years old, Caitlyn Kiramman's life has been altered in ways too vast to reckon with in only a matter of days. I have extensively detailed a series of events in another document specifically with the goal of showing who she is as the story develops. I will not do so again here, but below will list both the destabilizing events, and a basic rundown of who we have come to know, following this characters story.
Who She is-
Bright and curious/ we meet her as a happy and helpful young girl walking with Jayce in episode 1
Unwilling to turn on those she cares for/sitting out in the rain to speak to Jayce when her parents turned on him
Wants to protect her people/when Grayson asks what Kiramman is shooting for, we see her look out over the city
Dedicated Enforcer (believes in the system)/ When caught investigating the airship without permission, we learn she has done this before. And later that she has an ongoing investigation into the corruption of the undercity.
Open minded toward undercity/ Many examples. Kindness to large man who Vi keeps ruining when she finds him shot, she hugs Huck without reservation for saving Vi, verbally equates undercity and topsiders while caring for Vi, stands by testimony that Jinx alone was the reason for the attack even after her mother's death.
Brave and loyal/Engages Sevika immediately to save Vi's life, trades her rifle to save Vi, tries to trade her freedom for Vi's before she learns the Firelights are allies.
Destabilizing/Traumatizing events-
Survives Jinx's theft of gemstone in which six enforcers were killed.
Helps Vi escape Silco and his goons, they literally bring a building down.
First meeting with Jinx in person, attack of the firelights.
Taken by firelights, doesn't know if they are going to hurt them or not at first.
Almost killed by the sheriff after watching him shoot Ekko.
Survives Jinx's attack.
Abducted by Jinx from her childhood home, naked, while in the shower.
Bound and gagged with smiling mask at Jinx's tea party. Listens as Jinx tries to get Vi to kill her.
Has opportunity to stop Jinx, shows mercy at Vi's pleading.
Violently knocked out.
Helplessly watches Jinx fire the rocket that will kill her mother and 2 other councilors.
Summary: So, at twenty-three years of age, Caitlyn has lost her mother, been almost killed by the leader of the system of law and order she has believed in her entire life, been terrorized, abducted and nearly murdered multiple times by the same woman who killed her mother, who she possibly could have stopped. All in a matter of days. To help keep things in perspective, let's look at a few points using USA real life application.
She has only been legally allowed to drink for two years.
Based on the average, she has not even been able to drive for ten years.
Based on the average, she would graduated high school five years ago at most.
Based on the average for American college students she would be close to finishing her bachelors degree if she was in college.
Now, moving forward we are going to discuss both the grief and trauma she is experiencing. Those who have read my material have seen my stance regarding her grief. It is not different here so by all means skip ahead. It is only thanks to an insightful user who wrote an excellent post regarding her trauma recently that I realized I had been neglecting that point, so I will try to do it justice here. But we cannot move into her "down-fall" without a proper look at these two factors.
Grief-
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" Zaunites live with fear of death constantly, Caitlyn loses one family member and gets to lose her mind"
" Not gonna feel bad for the oppressor when the oppressed finally hit back. #sorrynotsorry"
" So losing your mom justified becoming a war criminal?"
Folks, I've said it many times at this point and will continue to say it. Grief is not a contest. The way in which we perceive the world has to come through the filter of our beliefs and experiences. Now it can change, as we grow, and learn, and come to understand more about the wider world around us. But it's just how it works. Of course, if you grow up with death all around you, you are not going to react as strongly to the single death of a loved one. Not to say of course that you don't grieve or feel that loss, but it will be less jarring.
But for a moment, imagine you have never felt that pain. Never known the darkness of someone who used to occupy a place in your world being gone and there being nothing you can do. Oh, and for an added bonus, add the guilt of feeling like you could have saved them...
It does not erase the pain of the people of Zaun to validate that of Caitlyn. It does not deny the history of oppression and suffering of the Undercity to recognize and validate that after days of incredibly traumatizing violence, this young woman now has to reckon with her mother's violent death that she will always wonder if she could have stopped.
Trauma-
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"I want to tear that laugh from her throat forever"...
"I understand now, how easy it is to hate them. One vicious act.."
*As I have stated in various posts mostly pertaining to Jinx, I am in no way a mental health professional of any kind. So anything I share is my effort at understanding through research and observation*
To begin, we need to remember how Caitlyn grew up. Wealthy, safe, and privileged. People are determined to use her upbringing to rob her suffering of any validity, but... why? Does the fact that she was raised in wealth rob her of the ability to suffer? to bleed? No, at the end of the day it means she has known a life without danger, hunger, pain and loss. And in only a matter of days, has had each of those things violently crash into her life with no way to stop it.
As I am operating from a complete layman's perspective, I am going to try and keep this simple:
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Near Death Experiences- In a matter of days Caitlyn has for the first time in her life, been through a series of events that could easily have killed her. Speaking as someone who used to do a job that occasionally placed me in violent situations, and never as severe as what Caitlyn has been through, I can tell you the effects of each and everyone are quite real. According to a report from the Bureau of Justice Statistics in 2009, "Among all victims of violent crime, the two most widely experienced emotional symptoms were feeling worried or anxious (72%) and feeling angry (70%) for a month or more". A month of heightened anger and anxiety from a single violent incident. She has been through quite a bit more than that.
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2. Abduction- Caitlyn was taken from the bathroom of her childhood home. She was naked when Jinx showed up, and at some point made to put on her Enforcer uniform and bound and gagged. By this time, Jinx has almost killed her several times, and killed many of her peers. And now she is here in Caitlyn's home, in a place where Caitlyn is vulnerable and all alone. Violating her sense of safety and security to the highest degree. An article from Sage Journals by David Alexander and Susan Klein lists "intrusive thoughts..hypervigilance..anger.. and depression" all as possible long term effects in victims of hostage taking and abductions, among many others. We can see all of these manifesting in Caitlyn, but to draw attention to Intrusive thoughts:
"I keep seeing three faces... but then there's Jinx... laughing.. I want to tear that laugh from her throat forever"
SEASON 2:
Okay.... that was a lot! I know, and I appreciate you if you are still here (yes even you hashtagger). But now that we have established a proper baseline and understanding of what occured in season one we can really dig into season 2 and everything this young woman goes through.
Before the attack on the memorial, it seems as though there is a chance of Caitlyn keeping her ahead above that dark water she feels rising. Even with all that has happened, she does not blame the Undercity at this time. She maintains her testimony that Jinx alone is responsible. She protests that innocents will be caught in the cross-fire when Salo wishes for war. What she could not know, is that Ambessa Medarda was already making moves to get the war she has been hoping for, and has her eyes on Caitlyn to do it.
The Memorial Attack-
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The Memorial attack is the push. it is the thing needed to tip Caitlyn over the edge she had only barely been clinging to. She and Vi share a moment afterward in which Vi recognizes that this had been done for the sake of the spectacle, but Caitlyn is angry... on top of everything else she has been through, even a day to mourn her mother's passing has been tainted with violence. Her fellow enforcers lay dead all around them, as well as the bodies of their attackers mere feet from the watch statues of the deceased councilors.
And although she was not, it is entire reasonable to assume Caitlyn and Vi would assume Jinx's involvement in some way given all that happened. Caitlyn admits she is afraid... afraid that if she goes after Jinx without Vi, one of them will die. And the dominoes begin to fall as our characters are driven to betray their principles in the name of "justice"... As Caitlyn strides into the Council meeting, announcing she has claimed the role as the leader of her house, and will be leading a strike team into Zaun with 3 objectives.
Dismantle Shimmer
Apprehend Jinx
Neutralize any agents still loyal to Sico
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All according to plan...
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*** Sorry folks didn't intend to have to split this in two but time ran out on me. Hope to get part 2 up over the next day or so. Thanks for reading!****
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annabelle-creart · 2 days ago
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we listen, we don´t judge
Moroco in season 4 was kind of stupid, I get it, but guys, it was an AI, and all AIs in TFRB are kind of stupid, the only one that does exactly what everyone needed was the baby, and is a fucking baby!
the time travel to get Moroco out of the equation was cool and everything but kind of stupid for the plot, to have the real him would be even funnier and better (at least they didn´t fix everything with time travel, that would be shitty, but if that happened, Chase should definitely be the only one who remember, the rest would make it hard to deal)
Cody is a cutie and a potato, but he and Boulder should get angrier more, and not just upset, like, angry (goddamit, let the kid swear, and Heatwave and Boulder too)
Boulder and Heatwave would be a cute pair but only as possibility, is hard for me to admit but Heatwave has more chemistry with Quickshadow and Chase (especially with Chase) (which is shitty for me each time I rewatch the series but I must admit instead of deny to enjoy, I just made peace with the fact)
Nonetheless, as I´ve seen in Arcane´s fandom, platonic mlm also exists, people, I know you love your gay ships (including me) but friendship and other type of relationships also exist, is okay if you ship the bots with the humans or the bots with the others but remember romance is not the only type of relationship that exist (I just say it because ALL the transformers fandom likes yaoi too much, and that´s okay but platonic also deserves to be highlighted)
even if the TFRB staff wanted to make BumbleBlades real, the mothefuckers are sooooooo dumb at making romance, and having in mind Bee even dissapeared from Blades´ life for LONG TIME... well, is more benefit for the fandom that they wrote it like it´s just admiration
guys, I love BumbleBlades too, but we´re forgetting Bee DISSAPEARED from Blades´ life WITHOUT SAYING A WORD, HE DIED IN TFP, HE GOT A NEW VOICE BOX, A NEW TEAM AND BLADES DIDN´T KNEW UNTIL THE IDIOT CRASHED ON MAINLAND!! we have to respect more our helicopter boy, he deserves more and better, just take that on mind
Charlie and Chase are better as father and son than as boyfriends
we deserved more T-rex OP in screen, and also more of dinobot Bee, same with the cadets
Blurr and Salvage are traumatized teens, and none of them (specially Blurr) were qualified to train other cadets (or even get on field without supervision that easily)
Quickshadow needed more development, I don´t get how she passed from spy to rescue bot in less than a season, and no, to say she maybe was a rescue bot before doesn´t solve the problem, she Had been a spy for Optimus too much time, she´s out of practice
WHERE IS MY EPISODE OF THE TEAM PAST???? I KNOW IS FUNNIER AND EASY TO JUST MAKE LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED SO WE CAN FILL THE VOID WITH FANFIC BUT DUDE, HEATWAVE WAS THREE TIME LOBBING CHAMP?? BOULDER DIDN´T KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT PAINTING? WAS BLADES A PROTECTOBOT BEFORE THE RESCUE TEAM??? WHAT MADE CHASE THINK HE NEEDS TO BE USEFUL ALL THE TIME????? we were denied more lore, never forget that
High Tide deserved a better redemption arc, the asshole treated the team too hard and it wasn´t even for them to be good, he didn´t liked the team and that was obvious
Heatwave is a great father? I don´t know, he´s a great support for Cody and the robo-baby confirmed he likes kids but he´s also too proud, and I think we should explore more why Heatwave, despite he likes younglings, is so damned rough with himself about it
I think we all recognize which person is which here on this fandom by the ships they like, we recognize Gelu because of Priss and Cody, we do recognize Sugar because of HeatShadow, Lipgloss with BoulWave and Bagel with Graham x Katy, Frost with Graham and Boulder (at least I started recognizing who did or reblogged the thing by the ship even before I did because of the art style :,D)
I think is cool to theorize about Cody´s mom, but the series is way better cool without her, I´m glad for it (and if you don´t like the comment, let´s pretend Heatwave is Cody´s mom)
and I think that´s all I have to say :v if you made it this far is because you´re my real and I love you, good night
I've made a post like this some time ago on twitter but decided to take it here
We listen and we don't judge: transformers rescue bots edition
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Mine is that graham burns is super hot and sexy and that he should marry me 😁😁
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my-wee-hughie · 6 months ago
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Hughie in Season 4:
Episode 1 - Found out his dad had a stroke and he wasn't there to answer his phone call
Episode 2 - Dealing with his mum who is not apologetic about abandoning them. He's furious and upset that she's been given power of attorney for his dad
Episode 3 - Nearly killed by Homelander, facing his mum and trying to understand why she left them
Episode 4 - Obtaining Compound V for his dad, getting injured and ruthlessly killing someone in the process
Episode 5 - His mum goes behind his back and gives his dad the Compound V, which results in innocent lives being lost. Hughie had to euthanise his own father
Episode 6 - On the same day as the funeral, he gets molested by Ashley and almost raped by Tek Knight. He had an emotional breakdown at the end after he bottled everything up
Episode 7 - Gets attacked by a shapeshifter, tries and fails to convince Neuman to change her mind, deceived into having sex with the shapeshifter.
Episode 8 - 🫠
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knifekris · 4 months ago
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every day i struggle to make choices
#i should invest into some kind of education but cant make up my mind#mostly because options suck#i cant do trades unless my body sucks less which is sad because id love to be an electrician#cant even think about getting a pilots license cuz im not passing the med cert#i think id rather die than be a med assistant actually#working clinics at all makes me nervous tbh but probably where im headed in the short term#surgical tech would be cool but i cant do a Real program while working full-time#which is what limits most of my choices#i need to find more paid training programs i guess#if i had to pick a miserable but fulfilling job id go into education itself#but the teaching profession has always been in a downward spiral esp as of late#i dont want healthcare because i hate seeing dysfunctional glorified murder machines grinding around and around endlessly#acute care sucks id rather be in an icu for function but then im depressed because our patients are always dying#it was better as a phleb but this hospital doesnt have phleb and like i said im nervous about clinics#but i need to fucking commit to outpatient phlebotomy i think :/#the most fun ive had at a job ever#i wish i had more widely applicable skills but i cant be an emt/para even just for the training#because half of it is unpaid and the other half you pay for#and again#a job NOTORIOUS for being exhausting dangerous and traumatizing#if i was 17 again and wasnt escaping the tar pit of my mother id go for an english degree and i wouldnt even regret it#thinking about school in terms of a job i have to have forever vs for the sake of learning is so different#id like to know everything. i wanna read and write forever. and do research and have real technical skills that help people#im still riding off of the high of getting 5 ccs off of an oncology patient who desperately needed a port#they were able to run like seven tests off of it#i had to use a couple ped tubes#she only had to get poked Once and barely noticed it bc the doc team came in and im so happy i made her admission that muvh easier#labs are so miserable#checking back on the blood and seeing all of the results came through made me more pleased than anything else in the world
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sherlock-is-ace · 10 months ago
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the imposter syndrome i feel every time i even slightly think i might be autistic is insane, specially for a person who highly relates to the lived experiences of people who are professionally diagnosed.
Like I was just watching this one youtuber, and she was talking about very specific examples in her life and childhood where she saw autistic traits that made her realize she was autistic and then seek a diagnosis and then get one, and everything she was saying was like she was describing my life! But yeah no, I can't be autistic tho
#and one thing that has been filling me with dread (as if it was relevant lol) is the idea of seeking a diagnosis and#either not geting it because it's already so hard to find a diagnosis for '''''''women''''''' (afabs)#and that will make me doubt myself even more! but most importantly those around me who already don't believe me#but also i'm very scared about this one thing in particular which is the talking to your parents portion of the diagnosis#where the therapist will want to talk to people who knew me as a child... and that person will have to be my mom#and i'm pretty sure she will dismiss most signs. like she would either not bring them up because ''they're normal''#or play them as less important than they were#or maybe she didn't even notice them! because most of my struggles are internal!#things like being bullied or having no friends or liking a routine#idk if she'll be able to talk about all those#because my bullying wasn't violent it was mostly dismissive#my ''friends'' weren't really friends like i didn't CARE for them as maybe someone would have#and also they would leave me for no reason at all out of the blue... so i don't think even THEY considered ME a friend#and liking routine i guess she could say i prefered it but she doesn't know to the extent i hated going off it#i'm sure she forgot about the time i cried (as a 10 year old so not THAT young) because they made us change classroom#and i didn't know that was gonna happen... it was added to the anxiety that i thought my mother wouldn't be able to find me#but like the unknown classroom traumatized me (to this day i get anxious just thinking about that)#like... all those things i don't think she would bring up (if she could even) and i fear that will make me not get a diagnosis#not that this is a thing that's gonna happen cause as i established i cannot afford a therapist nor i'll ever get a diagnosis i don't think#so like it's not relevant#but i am anxious about it nonetheless#angel talks#personal#idk what's my point with this post btw i'm just venting and creaming to the void#dkfjhgdfg
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himblebo · 3 months ago
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I just want to be allowed to scream at my sister the way she screams at me. I want to be allowed to slam doors and throw things and break things. I want to be allowed to react to the way she treats us and not be called selfish.
#hot fucking take but I don’t really see much dialogue on how fucking traumatizing it can be to live with an autistic person#whose autism outwardly manifests the most behaviorally#her not being able to help being dysregulated does not negate how fucking scary it is#to be on the receiving end of that behavior#and to be conditioned for your entire life that you’re bad if you react in any way#this is less about neurodivergence than it is about my fucking mother#especially because I’m likely on the spectrum as well#but if someone that wasn’t autistic did those same things it would be considered an abusive environment#I’m not saying that my sister is abusive#but I am saying that it is so incredibly emotionally damaging to live in this house#any harm done to me by the screaming and throwing and breaking things is not even allowed to be considered#because she ‘can’t help herself’#and the quotes there are again less about neurodivergence than my mother#because my sister actually has really solid coping skills… when my mother is not involved#my mother will make excuses and enables her in a way that is so frustrating#my sister would actually do much better if she were living in a dorm/group home like she previously was#but that costs a lot of money#and so she lives here with my enabling permissive mother#and is more dysregulated than she has been in YEARS#because so many of the skills and coping tools she learned at her resident program#she has completely stopped utilizing because she doesn’t have to#because instead of trying to work through it my mother will make excuses for her#so instead of trying to work through it she screams so loud my ears ring#and slams doors so hard they break#and throws things in a way that makes me scared she’s going to hurt one of us#but if I display any reaction to what in any other circumstance would be recognized as a frightening and harmful situation#I’m making things worse and I’m being selfish#I’m like. fine. in the way that I’ve had to be my whole life.#which is mostly dissociating and spending as little time home as possible#but every time it happens it makes me wish I was not alive
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tariah23 · 9 months ago
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Well, I’m still glad that Gojo was always a character who was growing and learning at least. He’s literally one of my favorite characters of all time now. Like, he’s never been as perfect as how the fans would make him out to be despite canonically being viewed as an absolute nuisance to everyone around him (I don’t think his peers necessarily hate him but a lot of them probably hate to see him coming and the ones who’ve dealt with him long enough to consider him a friend, tolerate him and groan whenever he opens his mouth, too 😭… out of love. He’s extremely childish so there is only sm the other adults around him can take and to an extent, his students. I think the only characters in canon who adore him and their eye’s sparkle whenever he’s around, and being a silly teacher was Yuuji and Miwa (she asked him for his autograph (he’s the most famous sorcerer in the jjk world) and when she was alone, she did a little dance in the empty hallway 🥺…) from what we’ve seen even though the others still care about him, too. They just find him rather annoying, which he most definitely is. And he does it on purpose. He plays too much.)
#I’m also not usually one to get annoyed whenever ppl shit on the things I like#like I’m an adult sorry idc 😵‍💫#but it’s always annoying seeing ppl who know nothing about the story complaining about it#even just as recently with the Gojo being racist shit 😭..#like he’s a really great character despite all of that and even though Gege’s#execution of that could’ve been better or didn’t need to happen at all#because idk what gege was doing even though I do strongly believe that he used a moment like this to showcase Gojo’s ignorance and#that how he’s also human and makes mistakes since if you’re familiar with the series Gojo isn’t really treated like person at all#more like a deity and he doesn’t like that#but he’s never been one to voice his personal feelings and talk about his trauma ever#he gets treated like a god and because of this he’s never felt like he could truly connect with other people#so that’s why he puts on that whole act of being overly friendly/ playing with others and even rude to shut others out because of his#aversion to opening his traumatized self To other ppl like he’s so cool#and when he’s friendly he gives the others just enough of his affection so that he wouldn’t be worried about and not have others pry#but he’s incredibly flawed as well#I feel like gege could’ve showed Gojo being ‘humbled’ some other kind of way over the racism tho 😭. But it’s fine lmfao#I’m still so grateful that he had Gojo actually apologize instead of waving Miguel off like he didn’t matter because like I’ve said before#he literally never apologizes (this is probably the first time that I’ve ever seen gojo apologize to anyone in canon I’m so serious 🗿)#that’s literally not part of him#like he feels regret but he never apologies or shows that he actually cares about what others are expressing to him when they’re upset with#him. like this is crazy. but it shows that he did care about the mistake that he made which I appreciate…. like idk how I would’ve felt#about his character if he showed that he could care less when hurting someone like this🗿…..#I adore him so much sorry sorry for taking about anime I’m just 😭…. ❤️❤️❤️#rambling#I’m glad that everyone is fucking with Miguel now because he is a really interesting character even though we haven’t seen much of him#he’s one of the few ppl who Gojo trusted enough to look after someone who he cared about despite the horrors#because he knew that Miguel would protect yuuta and do right by him#it’s very 😭❤️…
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rivilu · 8 months ago
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Wait. Logistically speaking. Would Elluin even know how to read.
#i've had this in the drafts contemplating for days#like. he had a frankenstein creature situation of being reborn with no memory of anything.#and even if language magically stuck with him you got the First World time thing going on#something something you're alone after coming into a new existence. You're on a field. It's day. And you exist#and you exist. and you exist. and you exist. and you exist. It's day.#is it the same? is it different?#you exist. nothing changes. you slowly lose your mind. it's still day. you exist. you exist.#thorns grow around you. under you. under your skin. do you have skin? The more you struggle the worse it gets. It's still day#anything he did know he forgot at that time so#even after being kicked off to golarion it's not like he could have like. a teacher dfjg#half of it was spent in an inq asylum which was not at all traumatizing and from which he got out in a very moral way for sure#and after that he was scraping by on the streets until areelu snatched him up#like. makes sense he's be able to Speak common- as this all takes place through an indeterminate amount of years#up to interpretation since he wasnt keeping track but the post first world era alone was probably many centuries.#but when would he have been able to pick up reading? Since he'd have to do it on his own too.#not like a fucked up little not quite but mostly fey creature could go up to any temple and expect to be trusted enough for charity#the hc is that the wound winds up disguising his fey with a mortal soul business since it overshadows it. before that though nope!#he'd have been clocked as fey by anyone that can sense it even in elf form#basically. Galfrey what have you fucking done putting this guy in charge dfjghfh#maybe he can read a LITTLE. just enough to make do at first at least#would probably try to get some help on the sly because there's a minimum of two companions that should Never Know (Nenio and Daeran)#Nenio for reasons you can probably guess Daeran less because Ellu cares about being insulted-#more so because he doesn't have anything funny to retort with. like yeah i can't. kind of sad isn't it. and now the conversation is awkward#great and now i'm thinking about how much he deserved to live again#There's some great parallels with Orion actually. They were in a very similar mental place at the climax of their respective stories#dare i say Elluin actually deserved to live more. Which is why he doesn't#oc: elluin
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secondhand-sonder · 8 months ago
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girls when the kindness is still there despite everything
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ambrosiagourmet · 11 months ago
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I love Izutsumi. She's got a great design, she's a fun addition to the main party, she adds some new tension, and she's honestly one of the reasons I read dungeon meshi in the first place. I mean, "the most cat to ever girl" is an extremely appealing hook to anyone who loves cats and girls (me, I love cats and girls).
However, while I have always liked Izutsumi, I finished the story kind of feeling like I didn't really get her. I felt like I had a decent grasp on her character an character arc (she's a traumatized teen given space to feel safe and open up, and because of that she realizes that she can't grow without letting go of the coping mechanisms she once needed). But I didn't feel like I really understood her role in the story as a whole.
She follows the group of her own accord, after a coincidental meeting and a misunderstanding of what they can do for her. She's never super invested in saving Falin, at least not compared to the rest of the group. Though they do help her escape Maizuru's shackles, and are clearly good for her in general, she doesn't really have a healing Moment with the group the way that Senshi does with the hippogriff soup.
And yet, she gets an entire chapter, the third-to-last chapter, dedicated to exploring her growth and future. She's the one who frames much of the falling action, who lets us check in with everyone. She's the one who helps talk Laios into accepting his role as king. She may join the story part way through, but she is there for most of it. So Izutsumi! What's your deal!?
Well, I think I've come up with an answer, at least for myself, that I really like. Two of them, even! Though they both really work together to form the overall point - Izutsumi is the character that most helps the story face towards the future. Here's why I think that.
So the first of these "ah-ha" moments was when I realized that Izutsumi really is the best supporting evidence for Laios' point about the good things that wouldn't have happened if Falin hadn't died.
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If Falin hadn't been eaten by the dragon, Izutsumi probably would still be a slave. It was because of Shuro and Laios' parties both being in the dungeon to rescue Falin, as well as Marcille's use of ancient magic in the resurrection, that she got the chance to escape. None of that would have been the case if Falin hadn't died. Shuro wouldn't have separated from the group and joined up with his retainers, Marcille wouldn't have revealed her knowledge of ancient magic, and Izutsumi never would have even met any of them. They are only part of her life because of Falin's death.
Though this isn't explicitly pointed out by Laios or Izutsumi in the scene, I do think you can very much feel the presence of it. For one, when Marcille reflects on the journey and how much it made her realize she didn't want to lose everyone, her relationship with Izutsumi is prominent:
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It's the main original group at the top and center, but when you read it right to left, it’s Izutsumi and Marcille who might catch your eye first. And it's specifically Marcille and Izutsumi's relationship on display here, not just Izutsumi's presence in the group in general.
Also, after Laios' statement about how none of their adventure would have happened without Falin dying, it is Izutsumi who gets the final word:
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Izutsumi is also the one here who is the most forward-facing. Chilchuck is trying to correct Laios, Senshi is focused on the immediate future, and Izutsumi is talking about her new goal.
And I want to talk about that goal in general as well, because it’s also interesting how it comes up. In that moment, everyone is trying to remind Marcille of her less destructive desires - to eat food, to share it with them, and to meet Chilchuck's family. All of which are previously established, existing desires. When prompted by Chilchuck to join in, however, Izutsumi offers something new:
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That's interesting, isn't it? It's kind of funny, of course, to see her rambling on about a completely new thing, her own personal motive, in the middle of everyone working together to reach out to Marcille. Izutsumi doesn't even know who Yaad is! But at the same time, it’s kind of meaningful. Amidst the focus on desires that everyone already had, she adds a completely new one to the mix. It’s even the final bridge that lets Laios reach Marcille.
It is, in fact, even an idea that comes back later to help out another lord of the dungeon. The idea of finding new goals and feeling new desires... this is exactly how Kabru reaches out to Mithrun, after the Winged Lion is gone
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So yeah, Izutsumi's presence here, both in what she's actively choosing to say as well as what she represents of the consequences of Falin's death, supports the story's ideas of moving forward. Of accepting the past, and finding new reasons to live.
Which is all really good, and that alone works pretty well as an answer to what Izutsumi's role in the story is.
But oh, oh. There's more. Something I realized after having thought of all this, because I still couldn't let go of the feeling that there was still something I was missing.
And as I reviewed the things I loved about Izutsumi - her sometimes unhealthy ways of coping with trauma, her struggles with isolation, her skill with fighting, her selfishness contrasted with the ways she grows to care for and protect the group, her perpetually guarded nature, born from the seeming impossibility of ever fitting in or finding a safe place to just be herself - I realized something.
Izutsumi...
is a foil to Falin.
Where Falin copes with isolation and trauma by being eternally caring and struggling to say no to people, Izutsumi copes by constantly saying no to everything she can. Falin is often considered selfless, but does have selfish desires that she can’t easily express until a moment of crisis. Izutsumi is delightfully selfish, but chooses to stick by her friends when they need her. They are both transformed, against their will, into partly monstrous hybrids, and they both will have to live with that - there is no undoing what has been done to them.
Falin anchors the group in the past. Izutsumi pulls them towards the future. Neither would find freedom without the other - it is Falin's death that leads to Izutsumi joining the party, and likewise, it is Izutsumi who inspires the realization of how they can save Falin.
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And Falin is her future, as much as Izutsumi is Falin's. Both learn to be a little more like each other, even though they never meet. Falin gets a little more selfish. Izutsumi gets a little more willing to bend.
In this context, I feel like I have finally started to understand just how important Izutsumi is to the story. She is a proof that they cannot just go back, and she is a clawed, happy-to-scratch-anyone-who-pisses-her-off reminder, at that. In any conversation about what the group wishes would have happened with Falin, she cannot be ignored or brushed aside.
She is a reminder that, even in the midst of a tragedy so big it feels like a shadow you will never escape, you have yet to met all the people you will love. Hell, some of those people might even be catgirls. We should all be so lucky.
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genderqueerdykes · 7 months ago
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there really is a cultural pressure for transmascs & men to detransition, and it comes from all sides. it comes from the queer community too, not just terfs and cishet transphobes.
it took me a while to realize why transphobic people and transandrophobic queers utterly despise trans guys & mascs who are over the age of like 25- it's because it pisses them right off that we've resisted their attempts to make us detransition. it makes them so angry to see they were unable to groom that person into a life of self-shame and repression. it really seems like MOST people believe that trans men will just detransition eventually in life? people NEVER think about older trans men, only teenage trans boys and trans men in their very early twenties.
when i was involved with my local punk scene i was addressed with condescension, almost everyone around me didn't accept transmasculinity as a legitimate identity and thought that we would've transitioned by now in life. i encountered folks who would talk about transmasculinity with subtle disgust that made me feel like i was doing something wrong, and people who expressed overt disgust, saying in plain english that they were disgusted by breasts and vaginas because they were gay men. all along the way i was literally mocked for not having a penis, and one of my roommates started treating me differently once they found out i didn't have one (because they were attracted to me)
i've been on T for 9 years, and been out as a trans man for a bit longer than that, and i noticed as i've aged i've also attracted a lot of folks who have tried to deter me from identifying as a trans man, either through directly telling me that trans men are inherently dangerous, or by implying that women or another gender are safer, quieter, calmer, "less traumatizing to be around," etc. one of my exes told me they were terrified to date me (despite literally going out of their way to do so for over half a year) because they were scared i would be transphobic to them because i'm a transmasculine lesbian.
i received pressure from online friends to either detransition and become an intersex butch woman, or to something feminine adjacent or nonbinary. for years i dealt with a few friends who kept subtly hinting that i should stop identifying as a trans man or trans masc because of how awful transmascs are- going as far as to sending me screenshots of transmascs speaking, complaining about them and calling them whiny, annoying. talking about how all transmascs are entitled, how all transmascs take things too personally, how we complain too much, and so on.
people make no effort to make space for transmascs and men. i met 0 transmascs in my local punk community that i was able to stay in contact with. none. i met a few in passing but none that actually were introduced to me in a capacity where i could actually try to befriend them. it really felt like other punks in the scene were desperately trying to keep the transmascs apart at times. excuses were made as to why i couldn't hang out with other transmascs i liked, but i was constantly being forced to befriend transphobic cis gay men and transandrophobic transfemmes who outwardly expressed hatred and disgust of us. it really felt like it was on purpose... almost as if other members of this community wanted our attention, but never wanted us to give each other attention or a sense of community. like we were objects, not people to be included in the community for real. satellite friends, if you will.
i'll be honest with you. i was at my lowest at this point. i realized i wasn't just a trans man and that i'm a genderqueer person who experiences multiple genders, including womanhood and an "other" gender, which was great. however now i was being forced to completely stuff down being a man for the sake of other people. instead of folks telling me they'd rather not hang out with transmascs, folks rather just attempted to guilt me for identifying as such in the hopes i'd stop identifying that way. i was being told daily that trans men and mascs are inherently violent and terrible to be around. i was in discord servers where transmascs were being kicked constantly for getting even slightly upset about transandrophobia, or being unfairly targeted by staff.
it's violence, but nobody wants to call it that. i pulled myself out of there and am now able to contact other transmascs and trans men who are proud of who they are and have elevated me back into a headspace where it's okay to truly be myself. just keep in mind that if you feel like you're in that situation, you're not alone. people who attempt to groom others are often very subtle it's not always up front. they will start slipping in hateful sentiments very slowly and make you feel like maybe they're the ones who are actually right.
it feels good to be an almost 32 year old trans guy. there's nothing to be ashamed about there. people project their feelings on to my gender and that has nothing to do with me. it has nothing to do with you, either. people will just project on to you for whatever reason- hatred is usually the motivator there. if you encounter folks who keep trying to badger you out of identifying as your gender, no matter who you are, transmasc, transfemme, transneutral, trans anything- they are not good for you. they are not your friends. they do not accept you as you are and you deserve so much better.
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visenyaism · 17 days ago
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Dany advisor tier list?
Just for you I made you a rubric. I did not include “could reasonably be called a good advisor” because I think many of them would disqualify. Poor kid.
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Here is my ranking based on said points.
12. Viserys- 3. Despite my best efforts to rig this shit, Viserys ends up last. I remembered the reason why Dany is attached to Jorah at all isnt because he is reliable or a good advisor but because he is only slightly more reliable and less of an active threat than Viserys at the time.
11. Warlocks of the House of the Undying- 3.5 if you count prophetic dreams as good advice.
10. Jorah- 4. Fun fact when I was reading dance for the first time and he showed back up again and was reintroduced hiring a sex worker who looks just like Dany I had to put the book down and go for an hourlong calm down walk up a mountain before I continued because I got too mad.
9. Hizdahr- 4. He understands how Mereen works and is pretty honest about it to Daenerys at the cost of. you know. trying to use her as a pawn the whole time and not caring if she lives or dies. Also maybe tried to poison her.
8. Green Grace- 5-6, depending on if she is the harpy or not. Even if she isn’t she has a clear vendetta against her and is actively trying to manipulate her.
7. Mirri Maaz Dur- 5. She did teach Dany some lessons worth remembering but made sure that those lessons would be traumatic enough that Daenerys would do the exact opposite of it forever and maybe engineer her own downfall as a result, which I guess does accomplish Mirri’s goal. Highest ranking of the people who have actively tried to kill her.
6. Irri and Jhiqui- 6. Why are they still interchangeable after 5 books. Can they get some character arcs. Please. Rank lower because they don’t give her much advice.
5. Rahkaro and the Bloodriders- 6. They don’t seem to give her much advice, but they don’t seem to get much screen time anyway. Again can the dothraki characters not have any depth is that not allowed.
6. The Shavepate- 6.5. may have tried to poison her, jury is still out. If he was in anyone else’s arc, you would be like wow he’s a terrible advisor, but this is a competitive category for Daenerys, so middle of the pack.
5. Daario- 6.5. Daenerys has questionable taste in men because she is fifteen and been through a lot so she thinks this is all her choice and very exciting. But someday when she is older, she is going to look back on this and realize that someone should’ve intervened.
4. Quaithe-7 pending more data on who she is and what she wants. What is your deal girl.
3. Barristan- 7. Half points for “not being a pedophile” and “understands westerosi geopolitics” those are dubious. He is knightpilled and societybrained to the point of near-delusion and the fact that he ranks so high speaks less to his qualifications and more to the fact that this poor girl has had some really terrible advisors.
2. Missandei- 8. but again she is eleven.
1. Grey Worm- 9. Thanks mister worm. Unfortunately Jacob Anderson was still wasted on your role in the show.
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bovineblogger · 6 months ago
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Just wanted to pitch my two cents in response to the previous anon! Hi friend, I know for a lot of us who get our food shrink wrapped and packaged at the grocery store it’s mind boggling to even imagine there’s a healthy way of animal husbandry.
I grew up in The Big City™️ but was raised by my grandparents. They grew up farming (just crops, their families were too poor to own livestock or purchase meat/milk/eggs) and taught me to have an incredible respect for where food comes from. We grew our own crops in the tiny backyard, composted, and did aquaculture even before I knew what it was. We bought our smaller meat from the local butcher minimally processed. You had to debone and process the whole chicken, fish, rabbit, frogs, etc. Grandpa traded his veggies for different fruits with the other oldies. Grandma made her own wine and yogurt. And I’ve worked and volunteered at animal shelters and wildlife rescue/rehab centers growing up. I still compost nearly all of my food waste. Even then, I didn’t truly understand the extent to which a properly cared for animal farm could be healthy and ethical.
Until I met one of my previous partners that is. They grew up in an incredibly rural area on a family farm that had animals, including a herd of cows for meat. They hunted, but always to protect the livestock and made use of the animals they killed/sold them to others in town who would. It seemed so counterintuitive to my sensibilities and raised my hackles at first. How could you say you love animals and do that? But I began asking questions…for hours and hours because it was nothing I’d been exposed to.
The way they and their family cared for/revered their animals seemed almost religious to me when I first encountered it. From the time they were kids, it was always the animals’ chores first. You woke up but fed and milked the cows before you made yourself breakfast. They made blankets for the animals and read to them. You gave the herd everything they needed and then some. If something in the barn needed fixing, that would happen first before new windows for the house. The animals had their own things and toys and treats. It was love! There were never cattle prods or whips or any of the machinery you associate with industrial farming. The animals would greet them happily every morning. They loved and trusted their people back enough to be naughty a way a pampered cat is. It really sunk in when I stood next to a cow for the first time — there’s nothing that would stop that animal from harming you, especially if you were a kid, unless it respected you and loved you back.
(They once told me the story of how some large predator like a bear or wolf tried to sneak into the pasture at night. The family woke up there next morning to a furry pancake that had been utterly stomped into the ground by the herd.)
A whole lifetime later, they can still remember the names, personalities, and stories of all the animals they raised. I would get bored and try to list off random names as a game to see if they ever had an animal called that, actually. But the thing that initially shocked (and stuck with me the most) was that when they’d take an older cow to the butcher, they would get packages of meat back labeled with that animal’s name. But it wasn’t ever scary or traumatizing for the kids. They always knew where food was from. Sometimes they were even there helping when that animal was born in the barn. What that did was give them an incredible sense of care, respect, and duty for those animals. When they had dinner that night, they would say grace and mean it in a way you only could if you viewed that animal as an equal family member. I was raised religious, but had never heard grace said like that, with that amount of genuine intent until I ate dinner with them. It used to be just something I did, just going through the motions.
That being said, yes it would probably be the most bio energy efficient/less emissions heavy if the whole world shifted away from a meat-based diet. But ideal isn’t always realistic/something we can achieve overnight. Meat alternatives are often expensive or time consuming to prepare (like beans/legumes). The way I see it, this blog is part of a harm reduction approach in facilitating an appreciation/love/education for livestock and then encouraging people to seek out more mindful sources of meat, like some local farms. We’ve seen time and time again, shame/blame are far less effective in getting people to re-examine their worldviews than education and love.
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thank you so much for this ask, this is so so so so so lovely!!! i feel like a lot of people that arent farmers or dont have farmers in their family dont really understand just how much love is there.
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yamujiburo · 4 months ago
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Got a few asks about what Pokemon I think Jessie and James would have if 1. they didn't just have the gacha machine and only caught Galarian Pokemon and 2. if they had the chance to go to Paldea
GALAR
Jessie: Sandaconda, Snom➡️Frosmoth, Impidimp➡️Morgrem
Sandaconda is a snake Pokemon. Jessie should be allowed to have all snake Pokemon. Period. Love the idea of her finding it and being unsure of what the hell she's looking at because it's all coiled up but upon it briefly uncoiling she falls in love.
Jessie should have had an Ice Type Pokemon at some point for real. Snow and ice play two big roles in her backstory (eating snow/growing up in a snowy location and her mother disappearing in an avalanche). Her having a lil Snom that's not particularly useful but that she grows to love would be so CUTE. They eat snow together!! Then I love the idea of her going from not thinking much of it to getting more and more attached to it over the series and then having it evolve to Frosmoth after some time (it'd remind her of her old friend Dustox)
Okay this one's gonna take a little explaining but I think it'd be so funny if at the same time, Jessie catches a Hatenna and James catches an Impidimp (mostly because Jessie wants the cute one). BUT Impidimp starts gravitating to Jessie because of her negative energy, which it feeds off of. She's much easier to prank and irritate than James, who's too much of a sweetheart and a little less susceptible to pranks. Jessie never finds out that Impidimp is the one pranking her but notices that it's taken a liking to her for some reason so she and James end up trading their Hattena and Impidimp with each other. It later evolves into Moregrem
James: Polteageist, Toxel, Hatenna➡️Hattrem
I think James is a tea lover, and enjoyed fancy teas when he was a child. Since he's a collector of bottlecaps and Pokeballs, I could see him also collecting teapots/teacups. Maybe they're in a haunted mansion one day and he grabs a teapot thinking it's a rare find but it's actually a Pokemon to his surprise. Also I think he deserves to have an Antique form, so it IS a rare find.
James having another baby Pokemon to fawn over like Mime Jr. would be so cute. It's an egg that the trio find but Jessie's too lazy to take care of it and Meowth's traumatized after the Togepi situation, not wanting to go through all that again. Toxel is born and it's James' everything. It's a bit bratty and constantly vying for his attention, usually by shocking and poisoning him but luckily James has built up an immunity to both those things thanks to Pikachu and Mareanie.
As stated before, James catches Impidimp initially but trades it for Jessie's Hatenna. Hatenna was NOT okay with the amount of emotions Jessie brought to the table and couldn't stand to be around her, often going to James who's much calmer between the two of them. Annoyed by it not liking her and finding that Impidimp DID like her, Jessie demands suggests a trade, which James is okay with as he's been growing attached to Hatenna. After it evolves into Hattrem, it starts (affectionately) smacking him whenever he shows too much emotion, carrying on the "James' Pokemon beat the shit out of him" legacy.
PALDEA
Jessie: Flittle➡️Espathra
Flittle just seems fitting for Jessie. She's always wanting a cute little baby Pokemon but funnily enough, never really gets one in the show. She absolutely pampers it and dresses it up. It eventually evolves into Espathra. Still being Jessie's mini-me, it often mimics her, particularly when Jessie's angry
James: Arboliva
Arboliva just feels like a Pokemon James would have LMAO. I think it'd be really sweet if after a particularly bad blast off, Arboliva finds Team Rocket and helps nurse them back to health even though they're mostly okay. They're grateful to it, James captures it and it continues to try mother all of them (in a less aggressive way than Bewear).
Shared: Scovillain
Listen. It'd be SO funny if Jessie and James shared a Pokemon. They see two Pokemon in the tall grass one day. A Pokemon with a red head and a Pokemon with a green head. Only having one Pokemon each at this time, they decide it's a good idea to catch another each. They throw their Pokeballs at the same time and the catch is successful! Just one problem. They find out the two Pokemon they tried to catch was actually just one Pokemon and they don't know which of the Pokeballs they threw was the one that actually caught it. They argue about it for quite a while but then agree to share custody. Leads to some funny scenarios where they're both trying to direct it in a battle. The red head prefers Jessie and the green head prefers James.
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savanir · 5 months ago
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DP x DC prompt [16]
Danny has been with the Wayne’s for a while now and his status as a halfa is starting to affect some things he comes in contact with a little bit.
At first he thought this only happened back in his old home in Amity Park because the ectoplasm samples were kept in the fridge, and though that does speed up the process, it turns out Danny causes the same things to happen just fine on his own. It just takes a lot longer.
This means he now occasionally has to replace or decontaminate some of his things every once in a while. and with the electronics the same applies but usually the protections that Tucker has made do the trick too.
Danny has been very careful, he never borrows anything that’s highly susceptible to ecto-contamination from the others and whenever he needs something from the kitchen he just goes to Alfred (he really doesn’t want to see how the old man might react to the coffee machine starting to act weird because of Danny). Just, the last thing Danny wants to do is inconvenience the Wayne’s by ecto-contaminating something of theirs.
It’s really only when Danny slips back into vigilante-ism that things go sideways.
And Danny really tried. His obsession is space, not heroism, so he figured he’d be fine just focussing on his education. But he kinda forgot about the fact that he just really really loves being a hero.
He loves the thrill, the danger. He loves giving a smackdown and just in general having a good fight, he loves helping people, he loves being a force of good. And yeah, he kinda also likes the praise, but nothing weird and overbearing (some people go way too far in their hero worship, but that’s a story for another day)
So after some back and forth and arguments with Bruce who, contrary to popular belief, was absolutely not thrilled that his latest traumatized kid who was being kept safe in the mansion so far now decided that no, he wants to be part of the family business too please.
Danny eventually threatens to just go out anyway without any of his help and that just gives Bruce flashbacks to the time when he had just taken Dick as his ward. Not to mention some of his other kids and… dammit.
Well then… Danny can go explain things to Jason himself once he finds out and is probably going to be mad about it, Bruce is not taking the blame this time.
So Danny (name pending, he could just go with Phantom again, but he also wouldn’t mind using something bird or bat related) gets back into the game once again! And that’s fine that’s cool. But back to the original point.
Danny figured that he would just do what he’s been doing so far with any bat gadgets as well, and maybe it would be even less of a problem cause he’s pretty sure that these things break a lot more often because of all the fights and stuff.
What Danny had not really thought about though is potential intense high emotion situations. Like for very specific example; Scarecrow taking an obsessive interest in him because of Danny’s ghostly ability to feed on fear (somewhat) and the situation getting out of hand, him getting very hurt, Batman having to carry him out of there while Danny was kinda bleeding a bit (a lot). Bruce being worried and Danny wanting to be anywhere but there anymore and-
Well, you get the point.
So, take all that and add high tech bat armor and what you get is suddenly sentient batsuit.
It actually took a bit for anyone to catch on that something was going on, but it was eventually figured out. and once that was the case Danny couldn’t really help his seemingly endless stream of apologies.
But how can anyone ever blame him for bleeding out on Bruce and the weird reanimative properties of said blood making it so Bruce’s suit can now “talk”
Bruce described it more as like a martian mind link, which would explain why only he could hear things. it’s probably only for the wearer.
It can’t move on it’s own, it needs someone to wear it. But it can sense things and react for the wearer and honestly all that alone is more than enough reason to find a way to exorcise it… if not for the whole,
“but if it’s a sentient ecto entity now we can’t just ‘kill’ it, we literally abolished the anti ecto acts just so that can’t be done anymore”
it’s probably a good thing the suit has grabbed all the ‘Batman’ and made that what it is. All the core values are there, so there isn’t going to be any risk of it killing someone at least.
Still though… what to do now?
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nuzipilled · 2 months ago
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THE GANGS ALL HERE 🗣️🔥‼️ information below the cut, “B” cast ( Doll, Lizzy, Thad) have not been included yet as they dont have a role in the main story yet. feel free to ask any questions, me and @kylelily123abc4 will do our best to answer them (:
UZI
Uzi is a 21 year old woman with an undergraduate in medical engineering, which she was coaxed into by her parents (Namely Khan). She is incredibly adept and smart and prefers the technicalities of weapons engineering, and majors in art on the side. She would like to do it full time, however her parents insist it’s not a “real job.” She volunteers at the local hospital N, V and J are relocated to from overseas so they can continue inpatient care until they are stable enough to be discharged and resume physio / psychotherapy as outpatients. She meets N during his time there and immediately clicks with him, and eventually begins to visit him on her off hours, and continues to visit him even after her contract ends. They end up establishing a relationship together and, after finding it is much less expensive commuting to school, moves in with N, V, J, Cyn and Tessa in their apartment for the semester.
She spent most of her childhood moving around and being bullied—the most significant moment having been when her first kiss was stolen by someone who only dated her because he was dared to.
Uzi is a big fan of all things anime, edgy humor, hot topic, and nightcore. she’s got the soul of an unabashed 2000s emo girl stuck in the modern day.
N
Private first class Nate (all his friends call him N) Is a 23 year old man who was fostered from a family in Utah alongside his sister Cyn under Tessa, another childhood friend, and the Elliot family in Melbourne Australia from the ages of 8-18. When of applicable age, he went back to the United States to enlist in the marines and live with Cyn, a former child prodigy who was scouted and given multiple scholarships due to record breaking academics and reflexes on simulator games.
He was severely traumatized during his first deployment overseas along with his other childhood friends, V, and J, after their humvee hit an IED during a routine supply run. All three were critically injured and the sole survivors of their team of 6. He, along with J and V spent a total of 12 hours alone in the desert before they were airlifted to an emergency hospital in germany, then, once stabilized, returned to the states to resume inpatient care in Salem, Oregon.
Despite his honorable discharge and severe ptsd diagnosis, N does his best to remain upbeat and positive, almost to a fault, oftentimes repressing “bad” thoughts or feelings.
He ends up meeting Uzi in the hospital and they form a relationship together, her eventually moving in and living with V, J, Him, Tessa, and Cyn in their flat after they’re discharged from the hospital.
J
Sergeant Jane (Only preferring J when around close friends) is a 26 year old trans woman who was fostered from an immigrant afghan family under Tessa, another childhood friend, and the Elliot family in Melbourne Australia from the ages of 4-18, having realized she was a woman very early in life. She began socially transitioning at 12, and began HRT as soon as she aged out of the system. She was the first to be involved with the Elliots and was pushed to enlist in the australian military, quickly moving up the ranks to sergeant and was eventually posted in the united states to assist in training other cadets. She was severely traumatized during her second deployment overseas along with her other childhood friends, V, and N after their humvee hit an IED during a routine supply run. All three were critically injured and the sole survivors of their team of 6. she, along with J and V spent a total of 12 hours alone in the desert before they were airlifted to an emergency hospital in germany, then, once stabilized, returned to the states to resume inpatient care in Salem, Oregon.
Having been their squad leader, J often blames herself for the incident, even if she doesn’t talk about it or say anything out loud. J is an ass kisser. She will do anything and everything to succeed and has a Holier Than Thou personality, often very uptight and not about any bullshit. Her relationship with N specifically is horrible, and she harbours lots of jealousy and resentment from their time growing up due to favoritism.
She has a long standing, massive crush on Tessa Elliot, her longtime confidant and friend, though it went unrequited for their entire childhood and into their early adult life, J often being subject to Tessa’s dating endeavours and crushes in the meantime.
V
Lance Corporal Victoria, (Who prefers to go by V present day) 4-18 who was fostered from a family in Vermont under Tessa, another childhood friend, and the Elliot family in Melbourne Australia from the ages of 8-18. She enlisted in the military alongside J and eventually N, and was transferred to the states to assist in training procedures for new cadets with J.
She was decommissioned during her second deployment overseas along with N and J after their humvee hit an IED during a routine supply run. All three were critically injured and the sole survivors of their team of 6. She took the brunt of the blast, sustaining the most severe wounds and was airlifted to an emergency hospital in germany, then, once stabilized, returned to the states to resume inpatient care in Salem, Oregon.
The doctors operating on her told her she would never walk again--V proved that wrong by walking the next week. It was a miracle—however V simply states it was due to “having that dog in her.”
She is very resilient, but is often grumpy with a dry sense of tone and humor. She used to have feelings for N when they were kids, but it's since faded as they grew and disappeared during their time in active duty. Though despite this, she still cares for him as a friend, even if she rarely shows it.
She is the first to be discharged, having been set up in an apartment downtown by Tessa, who lives with her and eventually is joined by N, J, Cyn, and eventually Uzi. She is a gym rat with a heavy workout regimen that she will make everyone else's problem if its interrupted.
CYN
Cynthia (Who ONLY goes by Cyn present day) is N's little sister. She is still in active duty in the military air-force. She was a child savant who graduated highschool at 14 and college at 18, moving on to become one of the best UAV operators in history, with successful missions reaching into the hundreds. Cyn is autistic and physically disabled, having been born with cerebral palsy, and uses forearm crutches as mobility aids--but make no mistake, she is incredibly intuitive and adept. often knock-kneed and walks with an awkward gate, and speaks with very ‘robotic’ mannerisms. She sometimes struggles to show empathy in a ‘socially normal way’ or have a conversational filter. She has a very dark sense of humor as well, that for those not used to her may find jarring or off putting. Cyn hates being referred to as a child or incompetent because of her appearance or her disability, she will even go to an extent to prove the point that she does not need assistance. Tends to be protective of N, to a lesser but still protective of V and J and much later down the line Uzi becomes a close friend of hers.
In her off time she enjoys painting warhammer figurines, collecting cards and playing video games. She has a very kitsch, macabre sense of interest, often owning eclectic, odd knick knacks and memorabilia, namely a taxidermied wombat she’s affectionately named “Suzie.”
TESSA
Dr Tessa James Elliot is a very talented surgeon working out of a public hospital in Brisbane, Australia, descending from a very rich family. She is N, V and J’s childhood friend and frequently travels to different parts of the world to assist in surgeries or specialist care. Tessa paused all of her work when she learned of their incident overseas, flying to America to personally attend to their care–with some bribery and finagling due to HIPPA not allowing biased treatment. She just cares too much to not do anything. Tessa is a joyful, social butterfly. Excellent bedside manner and a good sense of humor but sometimes comes off as socially awkward. She is J’s lifelong crush despite not being aware of it, having spent some time dating around but nobody ever seems to be the right fit. She often complains about her recent dating endeavors to J much to her chagrin.
Tessa is, for the lack of a better word, weird. Think Cyn with a little more charisma, often not having a conversational filter or saying things out of the blue. She is not disturbed by otherwise off putting things like death, bodily fluids, nudity, gore etc, and has a bit of a dark sense of humor that she portrays very upbeat and positively. She is incredibly smart and adept bookwise, however socially she comes up a bit short.
there is an alternative version of these guys however it is 18+ for nudity. you can see it on bluesky here and twitter here
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