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#which would be great but i only have one color
strawberrymochin · 16 hours
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Unkempt desires
Megumi meets gojo again 20 years later after the big battle.
Genre/Warnings-: reincarnation au! Grownup! Megumi, he has a family, our gumi all grown up, crackhead yuuji, mentions of death, flashbacks.
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Megumi looked over the sea. Its waves glimmering brightly as the sunrays dance shimmers along the tides.
Something about it was nostalgic, maybe it was the warm fuzzy smell or maybe it was the azure of the water under the bright sun, which resembled the eyes of someone, who megumi was once under the debt of— Satoru Gojo.
Maybe he is still in debt.
The scar from the battle on his face has now faded into a cream color slightly in contrast to his face.
He wondered how gojo’s scars would have looked if he were still alive now. Would those millions of cuts on his skin prick him with the memory of Megumi, unconscious, fighting with him under sukuna’s control? Will they prick him like splinters of iron, bringing tears to his eyes? Lol he would probably just laugh it off.
The fact that he even wrote him a silly letter apologizing for something as grave as murdering his biological father, with a pun and a silly doodle included.
Megumi chuckles at the memory of how he used to hate those eyes peeking on him, especially on nights when he had fever. Almost giving him a heart attack.
Ironic how he hated them back then, and how he misses them now!
‘Megumi, let's make a sand castle’ he would say, on his days off, when he forced the fushiguros to the beach, to have some family time. You would laugh with tsumiki on those castles which barely even looked like one.
“Hey, dad! Let's make a sand castle!!” A little girl ran up to Megumi, tugging his hand and dragging him.
“No need to hurry y/n, the sand ain't going anywhere.” Megumi said as the girl kept dragging him towards the failed attempts of sand castles she made.
He now had a family, a happy one. One lovely wife he fell in love with(which he never thought he would) and one daughter dear to his heart. He named her after you, the only mother figure he ever had in his life.
It's been 21 years since then.
You were no longer alive, nor was gojo. Still the memories were alive. The memories which he treasured with an uncertain fear in his heart, he didn't quite recognise, until his daughter started to look exactly like you.
Her eyes resembled yours, her lips resembled yours, your face resembled hers, so did her curse technique.
His wife said maybe it was a blessing, a reincarnation. She was happy, so was Megumi, but it would be wrong to admit he wasn't afraid.
Afraid of history repeating.
Afraid of his daughter's curse technique to evolve.
Afraid of an uncertain future even beyond his capacity to behold.
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Itadori barged into his office, wearing nobara’s skirt.
“ I'm Kugisaki nobara!!!!”, he went to such an extent on detailing his look that he even stole one of her eye patches.
“You're gonna get your ass drilled by her hammer once she finds you.” Megumi drawled checking through the files of the freshers who are about to enroll into their school. He's a teacher now, continuing what gojo dreamt of, so did Itadori Yuji.
“You're not fun. And you shouldn't use such language, if you're raising a lovely daughter. Wouldn't want her to turn like nobara or maki senpai.” He said, pulling on the chair and settling on it with one leg crossed over the other.
“Well, why are you here?” inquires Megumi, already full of his drama.
“To inform you that we are going to get a kid off execution.”
“Execution?”
“Yes, a potential threat to higher ups and society.” Yuji tapped his fingers on the wooden desk polished with varnish, his face slowly adapting to the depth of his statement.
“To the higher ups?”
“Mhm, yeah the great stuff gojo sensei did…I can't believe I missed such a great show.”
Megumi was silent for a while. The last threat to the higher ups ever to be born was gojo and geto.
He could never imagine someone could be more of a threat to them. Until and unless they find out about his daughter's curse technique.
“Let's get going already, I don't think they will resist the urge of killing the kid for any longer.” Itadori got up from the chair, followed by Megumi. (And don't worry he was caught by nobara midway who kept the drilling ass move for later and let him go to meet the kid)
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Itadori was reminded of a similar yellow hue and the fresh flood of memories following it, some pleasant, some bitter that made his throat itch. However, someone who was more pale in the execution room was Megumi. As something wasn't sitting right with him. Every single step he was taking was increasing the dread he felt for his daughter's reality to be discovered. And he didn't understand why he felt like that.
Finally they came to the familiar hall and in the center of it was a boy sitting in a chair, his back facing them. He wore a navy hoodie and his complexion was pale. Even paler than Megumi.
Itadori glanced at Megumi before calling out to the kid, who was unnaturally calm, as if he were about to watch a movie instead of getting himself killed for bearing a burden he never chose to bear.
“Kiddo! We're here to save your ass for getting killed…mind facing us a bit.” cold sweat broke out on Megumi, as Itadori let those words out his mouth. Even he wasn't feeling good. Something was so, so wrong.
The kid stood up. His hair, a familiar silver. He turned slowly, for what seemed a long agonizing time. And when he finally did.
Megumi was numb.
It was him. The same eyes. The same mouth. The same hair. But it was as if time got tangled in its own threads and somehow the gojo satoru, who was long dead, was in his child form in front of their eyes.
Itadori gulped, he glanced at Megumi, before getting his shit together and shutting his mouth, preventing himself from gaping at the kid.
“I'd prefer you save yourselves from me first. And I wouldn't feel any remorse for not having a better judgment." The kid spoke in a voice, a lot less mature than the boys remembered of gojo. Then they remembered, the kid’s just 12 years old.
And Megumi was right. Something was so wrong. Cuz’ even if the kid looked exactly like gojo, he wasn't any like him.
“You shouldn't mess with satoru gojo.” He said, his fingers forming a hand sign, with slight blue light sparkling.
“Sensei…” whispered Megumi, which was barely even audible, and yet nothing changed in the kid's demeanor.
He was gojo. Alive and reincarnated. And Megumi knew it. But gojo didn't.
a/n- I was nervous writing this, since i haven't wrote for so long, forgive me if this is shit!
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ask-barbatos · 1 day
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It brings me great joy to see so many new users of our D.D.D. system, and I would like to take a moment to share a little knowledge  for those of you struggling with the Ruri-tunes events. In this lesson, I will show you the way to gain the resources needed to rank for Free2Play players.
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Now if you would like to join me, Click below to continue.
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Naturally, we would all like the opportunity to rank and gain the prestige and awards.
Not everyone is able to afford the cost of some of our Akuzon specials, however. This guide is for those who are "Free 2 Play", or f2p.
If you can afford it, the VIP monthly premium is a great way to get a leg up on these competitions when you subscribe long term, so please consider this if you are able.
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Now, onto the lesson.
One of the more difficult aspects of events is the lack of Action Points, or "AP" to fully complete every level daily. To combat this, you only have to employ one simple trick.
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Do not, under any circumstances, click on the 1x - 3x clear! You must move through the Battle menu instead.
As long as you are able to clear an S, you should use the Skip. Indeed, it does take a little longer every day to do this three times per level, but I will explain how this benefits you.
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On the surface, the most immediate benefit is the experience your cards gain towards leveling. The more your cards are leveled in this natural way, the less Grimm you have to spend on leveling them in Contacts.
However, there is a less immediate benefit.
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Excellent, a surprise guest. This is exactly what we want. Leveling your cards is a bonus, but we also get additional gifts when using the Skip function instead of Clear.
You should become intimately familiar with how your card's subjects prefer to be interacted with, and sometimes you can even recieve a bonus AP gift. While Grimm, Raven, and AP are great gifts that can assist you in events, the real treat comes next.
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Here in your To-Do is where it gets exciting. As you can see, you can gain bonuses from the Surprise Guests as well as using the characters in battle. You do not get these bonuses when you automatically clear, and they are easy to rack up.
These do not expire and they continue to earn toward the next milestone, so it is worthwhile to save them for the occasion that you do not have enough AP to complete the event levels daily.
In this picture, I have 11 visible x50 APs waiting for me to use when I need them, however since they can stack, more often than not when I redeem one, the next one is already ready to redeem.
There are additional places to gain AP and resources such as Grimm and energy drinks; your card's Devil Tree!
Many of the low ranking cards offer resources for low cost in exchange. I also recommend completing your tasks in Akuber for additional materials to unlock these benefits. (as well as the daily bonus 10 AP)
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Finally, your D.D.D. may occasionally gift you AP into your mailbox for updates, participating in events, and Lesson releases. You can hold onto these, as long as you mind the expiration dates.
To summarize your sources of AP for events, which you can start gathering at any time, I have compiled a list below. I have marked the sources that you can redeem at any time, redeem for a limited time, or the ones you must collect daily/automatically collected by color.
Fridge Time +60AP (Set reminders if it helps)
Receiving AP from Friends up to +50AP (A common strategy is removing idle friends to replace with active friends who will send you AP daily. However, it is understandable why this may not be desirable to some.)
Sending AP to Friends x3 +10AP (Daily)
Akuber +10AP (Daily)
Surprise Guest x3 +10AP (Daily)
Getting S rank in Battle x3 +10AP (Daily)
Ranking Reward Bonus +50-200AP (Usually expires in 60 days)
Surprise Guest Gift +10AP
Birthday Event Bonuses (You may refrain from collecting gifts you earn until needed)
Lesson Release Bonus +100AP (Usually expires quickly)
Exchange +30AP (Costs 1 ticket, on participating events)
Raven -> Demon Voucher -> Exchange Ticket (Costs 45 Raven, my recommendation if you go this route is to wait until you can purchase 10 Demon Vouchers to do a 10-Card pull to guarantee at least one SSR+ cheat card.)
Game Update Bonus +100AP
Devil Tree +30AP (Costs materials and Grimm)
Demon Rewards for Surprise Guests +50AP (Stacks)
Demon Rewards for using them +50AP (Stacks)
Event Rewards/Celestial Box, depending on the event, will vary. Please consult your events bonuses to work them into your plan, if appropriate.
Login Bonus/Event Login Bonus, varies
Level Up, +Your Max AP
Flash Sales:
20DP: AP Recovery Set, +200AP & x3 D-Energy [12 hour cooldown, Triggered by AP depletion]
99DP: Congratulations Set, +100AP & x5 Demon Voucher [Triggered on Level Up]
It is important to plan your event and usage of your AP based on how long you can hold onto it for. Using the daily assets before you use the longer term assets is part of an excellent game strategy.
Finally, I would like to advise you of "Cheat Cards". These are cards that are released in the Gacha preceding the event, and when you collect them you receive a bonus when collecting the event materials. Using your demon vouchers as advised above in sets of 10 will increase your chances of obtaining these cards. The cards you obtain and level up will assist you greatly.
There you have it. There are loads of wonderful ways to gain resources to excel at events. You may find yourself ranking quite highly just from this one simple trick of earning and saving AP until you are ready to use it.
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Did you find this lesson informative? I will attempt to provide additional tricks for new users as they come to mind. Enjoy, and I shall see you next time.
Barbatos
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cheese-whiz-barber · 12 hours
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ok so here's my thoughts on the new biome
I am actually very hyped for this wood. I've been waiting for a lighter vanilla wood for years. Birch is nice but I have a hard time fitting it into palletes with the yellow hue. In nodded I usually use the pale woods. This is great
I like the creaking. Hostile mobs are more interesting to me than passive ones tbh. Its unique. There isn't anything in the game that looks like it. It's kind of like the opposite of an enderman which is fun. Kinda neat that you can't kill it directly tbh. I've seen people say it doesn't have any utility and honestly, I think that's fine. Tropical fish aren't useful. But they're still nice to have around. Parrots have no use. But I think people like those. Vexes don't drop anything iirc but they're unique and that's enough. Not everything has to be farmable, it can just be there for worldbuilding purposes.
The more I think about it, I actually don't mind that other mobs seemingly don't spawn there. It's a little odd. People aren't always going to want to play like that. But there is an appeal, especially for people who don't like PvE. It's like the mooshroom islands in a way. It can be kind of a quiet sanctuary. In that way, I think there is a reason to set up there.
Something I hope they add is more unique plants. I think it would be a good idea to have a plant that's only farmable in the pale garden (like how you can only farm blue orchids in swamps). This would give players a reason to come back.
Its called "pale garden". Why is it so dark? It's mostly middle grays in the biome. I would prefer to see some lighter colors. Making the biome more pale would make it stand out from other biomes more. That might help with the complaint that 'it's just a reskinned dark oak forest' we also don't have a lot of lighter leaves (just azalea I think) so lighter leaves would be cool.
I like the Spanish moss :]
pale moss kinda just looks like desaturated moss. I wish there was more of a difference in texture. Maybe there will be
hoping for more plants
Im sure they're going to make a lot of changes. This seems like a cool concept. Mostly just hoping for some new plants (and maybe a few texture changes)
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jolyneart · 2 days
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This'll be a long-ish post about my The Locked Tomb themed MTG deck and how I made like 20 versions of it before I decided to build it (and how I'm still working on it).
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(I want to do legit art for this card)
If you are part of the Venn diagram of these two interests, or you want to see my slow descent into madness ovear a year of trying to put cardboard together, check the spoilers below.
So, I haven't been playing Magic for too long (a bit over a year). Weirdly I have owned cards since original Ixalan, but I never bothered learning to play until a friend invited me to play commander. I just wanted them for the pretty pictures, I have always admired Magic artists and they have been a huge inspiration on my art career.
Anyways, not too long after I started to play, I got this idea into my head that I should do a Locked Tomb commander deck.
"That'd be fun!" I thought
Well
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All of these are over a year old (and are not my only first attempts, but I'll talk about those later).
I had two main issues when starting to build this deck:
1- I have never been interested into deck-building before in a card game
2- I have no fucking idea of what I'm doing
The first commander I chose to lead this deck, that I still think thematically fits within TLT universe, is Ratadrabik of Urborg
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This Rat of a man has given me so many headaches, I'm sure that now I'd be able to do make a half-decent deck with him in the lead, hell I do have a black/white aristocrats deck that he could command just fine.
But my issue was that I had no idea how to balance his legends theme and zombie kindred theme at the same time, in the same deck. I was just incapable. And all of my results, budget or not, were jank piles that did very little or exploded into an infinite combo with cards like Boromir, Warden of the Tower or Nazgul. It just didn't feel right and the Locked Tomb theme was barely holding on by a thread with the things I was putting in there. There were barely ANY skeletons in any of these! (this will keep happening)
Anyways, after giving up on Ratadrabik (which btw I think would make for a great Ianthe proxy) I moved on to find some other commander and color combination that'd enable something else that wasn't a pile of legendary creatures.
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Queue in Varina, Lich Queen
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It's a Zombie Wizard! She cares about zombies, those are kind of early skeletons! She raises the undead herself!
Well, I do think Varina is great, and in other world where I knew how to build decks back then, she might just have been my Harrow commander deck
I don't even think the decks I made for her were that bad at all, just extremely expensive. And also the zombie theme, while much better supported mechanically, I didn't feel really represented the kind of necromantic powers we see in the books at all.
Shoutout to Mikaeus, he'd make for a great Jod if anyone wants to make a deck about our lord and savior the undying emperor.
Ok, now I'm going to take a bit of a detour to talk about what I actually like playing in mtg (not just commander). I predictably really enjoy playing black and graveyard strategies, but also really love putting big idiot beaters into the field with those strategies .I know, groundbreaking. But it is what it is, two of my favourite decks do this in one way or another.
God's perfect deck, my Sauron deck, was my first precon, that has left the lands of preconstruction long ago and is my dearest possession. Is it my most powerful deck? nope. Is it unbeatable? Not really, I almost never win with this deck.
What BIG Sauron does is, in an extremely thematic way, become a problem for everyone at the table, do evil things, and have everyone beat me down for my reanimation crimes.
If you are interested, you can check out that deck here.
Anyways sorry, back to the locked tomb, SO I like the graveyard right? Wouldn't it be nice that there'd be a famous woman necromancers in mtg? What if she leaded the deck?
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Well, the most that I can say is that there really can be too much of a good thing. I'm talking about swamps.
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Initially I had these two running around in the Ratadrabik deck. I still stand by the idea of having these flip walkers be young Harrow/Gideon and flip them into their "First House" versions. The Gideon/Kiriona and Kytheon/Gideon thing still drives me insane.
I was too sad discarding them, so I grabbed the Lilly card and tried to make it work, I really tried, I put on a lot of effort and care. But it didn't work, it wasn't her, it was me.
I built a pretty generic aristocrat shell, but I think that type of archetype really benefits of having more colors to work with (specially white).
So, with three commanders locked in the tomb (I also tried a Gut rakdos deck but I'm not even going to talk about it), what was next? I spent months on these and still had nothing to show for it. Was I the problem? Was I cursed with bad deck dissease?
No, that cannot be. I'm building other decks while this is going on and those are doing just fine. Lae'zel//Master Chef, Gandalf Big Artifacts. The issue might be that the head of the deck is always caring for just the one thing, there was not much diversity. I kept making Necromancers but had no Cavaliers to back them up.
If there could just be a way to have two little guys up there in the command zone. Wait a minute...
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So, this was truly a jank fest. Partner is an extremely strong mechanic in commander, and Tymna is specially strong as a card to have access early. So I decided to justify using these to make the biggest pile of nonsense happen.
Equipment? check. Initiative? check. Skeletons? check. Zombies? check. Graveyard? check. Lifegain? check.
While goldfishing I realized that while the commanders do a great job to sustain the rest of the deck, the ammount of themes and archetypes made this a pile of cards that I can barely call a deck. And worst of all, they enabled two pretty strong commanders, and that didn't feel that'd be satisfactory at all in actual play.
I even prepared proxies for these! Feel free to use them if you want.
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Also, I tried the whole partner thing swapping out Tymna for Ikra Shidiqi. Bringing out another whole color didn't help with the theme soup I was working with.
So I wholy abandoned the idea of both partners, and maybe even making this deck.
Maybe my hopes and dreams of having a functional silly lesbians and skeletons deck were doomed (yuri) from the beginning.
Months pass, I built 3 or 4 other decks in the meantime that work, can compete and be fun, sometimes all at the same time if you'd believe it. I had completely lost faith in this deck idea.
All until one day, were I was checking out a pile of cards I had pulled from the recent MH3 set to put them into my binder. And then I see it. There he was, this fucking guy with a shovel(?), looking at me.
I read again his fairly big wall of text, what does this guy do again?
Oh, he does necromancy stuff? attacks? wait wait, he draws POWER from the GRAVEYARD?? in JUND?
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He really saved it. Not only I feel this perfectly represents the dynamics of Cavalier is in charge of creating enough thanergy for their necromancer, but ALSO does the necromancer thing, and ALSO loves having like 10 power and beating down face. This was a message, the dream was still alive.
So, I make a list, I order cards, I scrounge cards from my other black decks. And there it is. It's real
The Locked Tomb Griddlehark Commander Deck
But... that's not how my list looks right now. Yeah I know this deck is cursed into being always changing I think. But, the main issue here was what I said before. It had to pull cards from multiple decks to sustain itself. And I learned quickly that I don't like having my baby, my Sauron, being not functional, and that keeping track of what cards are where and swapping them out constantly sucks tremendously.
So, I pulled back most of the cards to their original decks. What was left was a corpse, a beautiful incomplete deck. So I selected cards from my collection, lower powered ones, niche ones, weird ones, and put them in for their more powerful counterparts.
It's function is extremely simple, it fills it's graveyard quickly, ramps, and with Coram on the battlefield, you turn that self-mill into card advantage, the graveyard into a power source and bring back powerful creatures like the Resurrection Beasts (Eldrazi)
There also are skeletons in there, of course.
This deck needed to die many deaths to exist. But isn't that the theme?
I'll make sure to put up the new decklist on my moxfield whenever I get a few upgrades.
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milkweedman · 1 year
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somehow i always assume there will be a chart for something i want on ravelry, despite the fact that there absolutely never is and i always have to chart my own thing
anyway, im charting single color sheep designs today. i might try to knit them as test squares for my blanket just to see how they turn out first...
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quirinah · 5 months
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ummmmmmm guys this dungeons looking a little dark here..........................ummmm..... hello??? guys??
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Besties, it's clipboard season again, and not to brag but I'm really fucking good at colors
#clipboard season: when i tey desperately to paint a clipboard for all of the leadership and my staff at the camp i work at#this year it amounts to about fifteen clipboards#i choose a different cool thing that reminds me of the person or what i think they would like and then paint it on the back of a clipboard!!#today i started the first because i got the overwhelming vision while i was at work and i needed to paint it#this guy is the nature director. loves fishing and is very good at it. knows a shit ton about fish and fishing#so im painting his clipboard in the style of those educational posters with a bunch of different fish on it#yknow the yellowy beige ones with like fish or plants drawn on them#yeah. im doing that with common fish found in our lake!!#which prompted this post because. that yellowy beige was a fun color to mix up. and not to brag but i got it just about perfect#now comes the drawing. im better at painting than drawing#colors and stuff make more sense than lines and stuff. but im getting better!#im learning more and more every day. and i guess today (and for rhe next ten days) ill be learning to draw fish#(I'm giving myself ten days per clipboard)#(last year when i started i only had like three days per clipboard to finish them before camp)#(spoiler: i finished exactly one)#really hoping this year ill do better. mostly because i love painting and this is a fun way to remember to do ir#as well as challenge nyself and get better#i hope youre all having a great 2024
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mildmayfoxe · 1 year
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top 5 fav colours to use in prints
HOT PINK
LIME GREEN
NEON YELLOW
ELECTRIC BLUE
black
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#i finished these last week but forgot to post them lol#self heal didnt turn out great#i was working on it at my great grandmas on Christmas after drinking a highly caffeinated latte and pinching a nerve in my back#which made me a little shaky#also those little henbit type flowers are hard to draw#but everyone who saw me drawing said it looked good so 🤷‍♂️#also realized i accidentally left 2 plants thst were in the table of contents out of the pages#(when i first put the pages together i went through and labeled each page a drawing would go on with a plants scientific name)#and i had to get out my larger pad of this brand of water color paper and cut it in half to make 2 more signatures#and because the 2 that were missing were not at the very end and also werent on the same signature i had to shift some things around#thankfully all my page labels were in pencil#also im aware that signatures are generally more than one piece of paper but this papers so thick and the pages are so small#i felt i would lose page space if i made actual signatures#i just dont know what else to call them#if they were individual pages i would just call them that but its technically 4 pages (two pages front and back using one piece of paper)#so signatures it is#unfortunately did not achieve my goal of finishing the drawings by new year lol. got distracted by video games#only 12 more left! (14 left to post but i have 2 from the next group of 10 done)#then i can start painting#then the tedious part of gathering all the information i want to include about each plant and copying it into the book by hand#and then i can FINALLY bind it
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vivanightcity · 2 months
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ahhhh
i was certain i'd taken screenshots of my very early modded minecraft explorations from like ten years ago, and i did.
Dragon mounts was one of my favorite mods, as was the original Witchery. Both of which, I believe, stopped being updated around 1.7.10, witchery did for sure.
It's so wild to come back now and there's these projects to make spiritual successors and continue them on, Bewitchment is a great continuation that has most of the same energy and spirit, and I know there's a 'dragon mounts reborn' out there too, I just didn't know about it until after I found out about ice and fire.
anyways, look at the dergs!
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I am so tempted to make a 'improved' version of this old awful ass dragon platform base i made. I used creative and I thought it looked good. (I'm not actually ragging on it, I think it's cute ugly and very old minecraft)
#considering the ice and fire dragons reach 50 blocks long#i think building a three room tower with a launch pad entry and exit would be fucking massive#i'd also want to look up a block list of what they can destroy cause they can break blocks when walking and flying#these dragons are much more minecrafty#because well they are literally recolors of the enderdragon#but i don't personally find the ones in ice and fire too out of place#they're more detailed than a lot of other things but it's still blocky#they're like clearly modded but not as stand out modded as many other things i've seen#honestly i think the only major bummer about ice and fire is the limited type of dragon#they do make the type more impactful and given the more in depth gameplay related to it#i completely understand and it's by no means a criticism on the mod#but its a person oh well sort of thing#i liked the wide range in dragon mounts#there was the classic ender dragon - aether dragons - ice dragons - water dragons - bone dragons (required total darkness)#and fire dragons which ithink you ahd to hatch in the nether#and it was all from the same egg that you just chose where to hatch#the ice and fire ones have great detailing and great color schemes across the board#i do think there's a lot of room to play though#use the wardens sonic shouts as an inspiration for a deep dark dragon#water dragon that uses the guardian style beams#air dragon using that new enemy from 1.21 that's just a windy blaze#nether or bust (minecraft)
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snekdood · 4 months
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so august 2018 is when my peak being-crazy-made art craziness happened, huh
#and then as soon as i left that situation all of my art became normal again lmao#i went from drawing weird cryptic things that quite literally would only ever make sense to me#to just. drawin landscape stuff like normal again sdhvfdvghsd#i mean there a couple cryptic things here n there after but like. not nearly as cryptic at all. like you could p much easily make out what#is trying to be conveyed. the other shit is like. nothing. you couldn't understand unless I had to explain everything that happened#gotta say guys doing shrooms and being abused do not mix well at all#bc when im not being abused and im on shrooms shit is great. im feeling lit. all i wanna do is draw nature stuff#but that moment in my life? phew...#vent#i literally thought I died. like i literally thought I wasn't actually alive and I was in some mirror version of earth that was the#underworld-- so much happened. its kind of distressing to think about all the weird fucking visions i got#and its not even like it was always like that when I did shrooms with that person- initially in the love-bombing phase I was fine.#all of my art from then looks pretty fuckin normal save for ig more colorful stuff and trippy patterns or whatever. but otherwise fine#if anything it enhanced my art#its only after the gaslighting and the putting me down and the withdrawing love shit started happening that i just like. snapped.#idek. it was all so surprising to me because they really did convince me they loved me.#not only all of that abuse-- also the enabling my conspiracy theory brain too which didn't help#which ironically my art didn't have much do to with actual conspiracy theories but the mindset was implemented in to me so#there was a lot of weird delusions and paranoia and just like. stuff that didn't make sense but also did if I explained it?? idek#there was like a consistent story to my weird visions but it didn't make sense also. like there was no real reason for things to be what#they were or look the way they did or whatever#but there Was a consistent story still#its something i *want* to encapsulate into maybe a comic or picture book or something but like. idek if i could encapsulate it all#theres so many bits and pieces that idek if i could fully convey- idk#dawg even my stuff from after my couple of 'acid' trips wasn't as confusing and cryptic as the stuff after being abused#one common theme in a lot of it is its intentionally repelling. every part of my being knew I needed to be away from that person in spite#of how they would pretend to be friendly with me so some of that art is trying to scare them away in a weird cryptic way that tbfh#they probably didn't understand either whenever a pic was trying to do that like what it even was trying to say- thats kinda how fucking#crazy i got from that whole situation. i think part of me felt like that at least if it was vague and unhinged that it would scare them#away idrk. i do think it worked lol. even if it doesnt really fully make sense at all. idk. but 0/10 one of the worst periods of my life
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beepbeepkazoo · 4 months
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cooler master really gave probably the most creative pc case with qube500 macaron variant
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inmaki · 8 months
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gojo showing off your back scratches to geto
( cont from this fic! req, visual ) .
contains: sex talk, desc of back scratches, crack, sugu is called daddy once (as a joke.. right..)
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everything was relatively peaceful in suguru's apartment. key word: relatively.
a forgettable yet appreciated sunday afternoon, not a cloud in sight despite the weather forecast predicting downpours of rain. either way, the raven-haired man insouciantly rested across his white couch, reaching the conclusion that today would be a day for self-care, relaxing, and perhaps some meditation.
there was only one thing ruining his peace.
all morning, suguru has been forced to try and ignore the stain a certain someone has left on his couch — a pair of unecessarily expensive yet dirty shoes being the culprit.
despite these attempts, every once in a while his gaze can't help but wander over at the mark — as if it'd poof out of existence if he glared hard enough.
"fuckin' asshole.." he mutters. it was a wonder his relationship with his best friend managed to stay so promising despite all their differences, yet suguru wouldn't have it any other way, even after situations like this.
right when he grumpily turns back to the tv — which was playing some crappy, low budget rom-com — his apartment door is yanked open and suguru swears he nearly jumps out of his seat.
great, was this it? was he about to get robbed, perhaps evicted? and then probably die? forced into the afterlife knowing gojo's shoe-shit was still on his new couch? no that can't—
"i fucked her!"
suguru whips his head towards the apartment door, announcement being disregarded as he nearly groans in agony. speak of the devil.
big blue eyes peak out from under circular sunglasses, one hand already raised in preparation for a dap up while his stupid, big, dirty shoe pushes the door closed behind him. gojo wears a black compression shirt with grey sweats, marching over to his friend with a ginormous grin across his cheeks.
"take your shoes off, now," suguru snaps, nodding to his friend's feet with a frown.
"yeesh... whatever y'say, daddy," the bastard never loses his smile as his hands raise in surrender, kicking them off by the door smoothly. "what's got your panties in a twist?"
geto pinches his nose bridge. "don't call me that," as he continues the scolding, he points to the living room with his free hand. "you got a mystery stain on my couch, satoru. do you know how many youtube videos i watched trying to get this shit off?"
unphased, gojo takes a look at the strangely colored blob against the armrest's leather material and shrugs. "my bad. did you try febreeze?"
"what— no? dude, febreeze is for.." when suguru looks back up to sourly meet his gaze, he could immediately tell the white-haired man was already drifting back into la-la-land, words going in one ear and out the other. "..nevermind. why're you here?"
at the reminder, satoru seemingly brightens, head shooting back up as if he was just told he'd won the lottery.
"oh god, don't make that stupid face—" he pauses. "the fuck are you doing?" suguru might as well say goodbye to his self-care day, because now gojo was stripping in the middle of his living room, shirt thrown haphazardly onto the still-very-much-stained couch.
"just look!" suguru squints as his friend swivels around to face the wall, pushing his bangs away to get a better view of the— oh shit.
it takes the raven-haired man a second to process what he's seeing before shuffling forward, closely examining the achingly red, bulging scratch marks displayed sexily across the latter's back and shoulders. "no way.."
suguru knows the strongest sorcerer well enough to notice how he purposely didn't use reversed cursed technique on these scratches, just so it'd be obvious to anyone that caught a glimpse of what exactly occured. to his further dismay, he can already picture a smug and sweaty gojo walking around their local gym like this, proud simper on his pretty lips as he easily raises a pair of weights in his veiny hands.
a hiss escapes geto's mouth as he runs his finger down a particularly agitated one, knowing exactly how painful they could be after experiencing many hook-ups of his own. even so, satoru only licks his lips, neck craning to the side so he can pride himself in his friend's gobsmacked expression.
"damn, these are deep. you actually hit it?" suguru confirms, raising a celebratory hand.
turning back around, satoru daps him up, a massive smirk now on both their faces. "hell yeah, it was amazing."
it was impossible to predict what gojo would do next after barging through his front door — especially considering how many times he's done so — but this has to be the last thing suguru ever expected.
not that he was complaining — in fact, all of geto's temper and need for relaxation seemingly flew out the window, the feeling of proudness for his best friend overthrowing anything else.
and even if he hated to admit it, the way gojo was so eager to come over and announce his virginity loss to him was more than a little endearing, and dare he say cute.
"that's great, man. congrats." suguru leads him into the kitchen — still shamelessly shirtless — to grab them both a can of beer in celebration. while the white-haired man usually didn't get involved with any form of alcohol, this occasion was most definitely exception-worthy. "you made y/n cum too, right?"
an offended glare is shot his way. "duh, two times."
"huh. surprised you could last."
as suguru pours their drinks into two fragile cups, gojo exhales, not bothered in the slightest by his jab. "dude, same.." he admits dreamily. "she was so fuckin' tight and warm.. and oh— fuck, her moans? heavenly.. 'can't believe i didn't bust after the first minute.."
geto gulps, trying his best to ignore the mental image his brain was producing from his dirty words. you can't blame him — both of you were smoking hot, and he was a simple man.
even now, he could already imagine what you both looked like; panting and moaning, skin-slapping so loud that it echoed through the whole room, how blissed out you'd look as gojo's cock split you in t—
satoru's playful sigh cuts through the tensing air. "who knows sugs, maybe you'll have another kind of stain to worry about next time we're over~"
he's never snapped out of a daydream so quickly. "don't even joke about that."
over the next hour, the two men sat manspread on the stained couch, taking leisure sips while recalling satoru's final moments as a virgin — suguru giving out his secret tips and tricks along the way.
maybe sometime, suguru could offer some.. hands-on learning instead.
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mlist! <- sugu.. how could u think abt ur bestie and his gf like that... tsk tsk tsk (if u enjoyed reblogs/comments r appreciated heheh)
© inmaki on tumblr. all rights reserved. do not cross-post, translate, copy in any way, etc.
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reddpenn · 1 year
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Here is a potentially silly question: how do you feel about birthstones? Do you think they fit the months (by season or astrological sign)? Do you have other stones you'd rather see as birthstones?
Okay, so, birthstones make absolutely no sense.
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I mean, look at this mess. We’re doing beryl and corundum twice! I get that they get Special Different Names for their Special Different Colors, but it's just lazy. And why are we giving some months cheap, common gemstones like garnet and amethyst while the poor June birthdays have to shell out tens of thousands of dollars for FREAKING ALEXANDRITE? That’s incredibly unfair! We should be picking birthstones that are all roughly the same price. And why do some months get multiple gemstones? I’ll tell you why: because nobody can agree on an official list and every attempt to standardize this thing has just added MORE birthstones to every month.
So obviously the answer is to standardize it again, by throwing out everything and starting over. Here are our goals:
Fair pricing. You should be paying roughly the same amount regardless of what month you were born in. We’re getting rid of those ridiculous outliers like diamond and alexandrite.
More customization potential! Nobody should be stuck with a stone they hate. We’re picking gemstones that come in multiple colors or varieties, so that everyone can choose a variant they like.
Wearability. Some birthstones are too fragile to be worn as jewelry. We need to replace them with stronger stuff.
No more duplicate gemstones. Every month gets a stone or family of stones with a unique chemical composition.
Now without further ado, I present to you:
The New And Improved List Of Birthstones With No Problems Or Flaws That Everyone Will Definitely Agree On And We Can Start Using Right Now Immediately
JANUARY: GARNET
I've got no problem with garnet. It's a fine, classic birthstone, so January can keep it. But I would like to see a little more garnet diversity. January birthdays shouldn’t be confined to just red. The garnet family of minerals contains a rainbow of different colors, like orange hessonite, green uvarovite, pink rhodolite, yellow grandite, and many more. They’re all garnet, so we should be wearing them all!
FEBRUARY: QUARTZ
The original birthstone of February was amethyst, which is… kinda boring. Super cheap and common and you only get one color? No, we can do better. February gets ALL the quartzes now. Keep wearing amethyst if you want, but also feel free to branch out into clear quartz, citrine, rose quartz, smoky quartz, rutilated quartz, tiger eye… actually, take all the agates too. If it’s quartz, it’s yours!
MARCH: SPODUMENE
March was originally aquamarine, but I’ll be giving all the beryls to May, so we need a different stone here. Let’s stick with that theme of pale pastels and go with spodumene. For an April birthday, bedeck yourself in green hiddenite, pink kunzite, or yellow triphane. Despite its subtle colors, your birthstone has some amazing fluorescence, with really cool pinks and oranges under a UV light.
APRIL: FELDSPAR
Diamond is too pricy for this list, so we’re replacing it with something less expensive and way more interesting. April will now be represented by the feldspar family. We’re talking labradorite, moonstone, amazonite, aventurine, and sunstone. While you don’t have much variety in color, your stones are full of shimmery schiller which glitters and shifts as it catches the light.
MAY: BERYL
May’s original birthstone was emerald, which is great and can stay, but we’re also adding its siblings! May is now represented by all beryls: Emerald, Aquamarine, Morganite, Bixbite, Heliodor, Goshenite, and whatever other varieties I’m forgetting to list. A bright and saturated rainbow of colors is represented here, so everyone born in May is sure to find something they like.
JUNE: ORGANIC GEMSTONES AND FOSSILS
It’s time to address the alexandrite in the room, and obviously we’re getting rid of alexandrite. A stone worth $15,000 to $70,000 a carat does not belong on the same list as friggin amethyst. Instead we’ll look at the other traditional June birthstone, pearl. The problem with pearl is that it’s a clear outlier in this list. An organic gemstone, by some definitions not even a mineral. Should we replace it? NO. We are OWNING it. All organic gemstones now belong to June. Pearl is joined here by jet, amber, coral, ivory, ammolite, petrified wood… in fact, June can have every fossil ever.
JULY: SPINEL
July was originally represented by ruby, which is a fine stone and won’t be kicked off the birthstone list - we’re just shuffling it down to September. Replacing ruby for July is spinel. (See, it’s funny because historically spinel has often been mistakenly identified as ruby! That's a little gemology humor for you.) Available in any hue you could possibly desire, spinel offers some nice color options to a month that previously only featured red. Of course if you want to keep wearing red, red spinel mimics ruby so well that you’ll barely notice the difference.
AUGUST: PERIDOT
Nope, we’re not changing this one. Peridot is the ideal gemstone and you ungrateful August whiners can die mad about it. HOW ABOUT YOU LEARN TO APPRECIATE PERFECTION
SEPTEMBER: CORUNDUM
Sapphire is a wonderful, classic stone and it deserves its spot on this list. But the corundum family has been separated for far too long, and we’re finally going to reunite them. Joining sapphire in September is its sister ruby. Between the pinks and reds of ruby and the many, many colors of sapphire, these two stones give September a nice variety of colors.
OCTOBER: TOURMALINE
Look, as gorgeous as opal is and as much as I love it, it is both way too pricy for our list and also TERRIBLE in jewelry. This stone is just too brittle to wear around from day to day and can be ruined just by getting it wet, which makes wearing your birthstone a huge hassle. We’ll kick opal out and hang on to October’s other traditional birthstone, tourmaline. Pink tourmaline may be classic, but this stone comes in plenty of other colors. Whether it’s brown dravite, watermelon elbaite, or the rare and beautiful blue indicolite, you can wear them all!
NOVEMBER: TOPAZ
November can keep topaz, but we’re not confining it to the color yellow. This stone comes in a huge variety of colors, and now they can ALL represent November. No further notes; it’s a nice, classic stone.
DECEMBER: ZIRCON
I dunno, I’ve had to come up with 12 of these, I’m burnt out. Sure, zircon, whatever.
“BUT WAIT,” you say. “Now instead of having a single color assigned to each month, almost every month is represented by almost every color, making it impossible to tell anyone’s birthstones apart and removing what made them special and recognizable as symbols!”
Well CLEARLY you didn’t read the title of this list.
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ot3 · 26 days
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HOT OR NOT? POKEMON
There are a lot of pokemon out there. Some of them are good. Some of them are bad.
the world of pokemon is a beautiful one filled with many "types" of pokemon. some pokemon are steel. some pokemon are bugs. some of them are even normal. lately i have found myself thinking, which pokemon is the most steel? which pokemon is the most bugs? which pokemon is normal? and today i am proud to say i have answered these questions and more.
It can be hard to decide, since there are so many of them, but luckily I'm here to make that decision for you. i have definitively chosen the most representative (most) least representative (least) personal favorite (best) and least favorite (worst) design of every pokemon type. and i will now explain it to you in detail
now keep in mind we are ONLY talking about design here. lore is not coming into play whatsoever. if you want to explain to me why xyz pokemon is actually the most/least/best whatevertype pokemon because it's based on this or that: i don't care. that's not why we're here. we're judging books by their covers today
Normal Type
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Most - Herdier: This is just a regular ass dog, which may be considered one of the normalest things on the planet. It doesn't get much more normal than this, folks.
Least - Arceus: If i saw this thing it would be one of the least normal days of my life.
Best - Skitty: This is just a perfect design, there isn't anything bad you could possibly say about it and if you tried I'd hit you. Look at that face. ^_^
Worst - Castform (Normal): It looks like either a pair of balls or caspar with a fat rack and in either cae it's just kind of unappealing to look at.
Grass Type
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Most - Shaymin (Land Forme): Although 'grass' a type represents all plant life, I am choosing to interpret it literally here. Shaymin is the grassiest of all grass pokemon, and although this is not part of the criteria, it is also very cute so lets all take a moment to appreciate that
Least - Kartana: this is an origami swordsman bug thing which to me isn't really Grass at all. I do love the design but it's not very grassy. yeah paper comes from plants but gun to my head i would have not guessed grass type for this pokemon in top 3, maybe not even top 5.
Best - Wo-Chien: I just think this guy represents a ton of pokemon design philosophy at its best. It has a very strong sense of color, good use of shape, is just a tiny bit strange, and most importantly is a kind of Creature i would like to hang out with
Worst - Calyrex: The more realistically proportioned hare head with the strange body does NOT work for me. I'm not mad about the massive berry on top at all but why the perfectly round torso? Why the stubby little arms? Why the noodle legs with the thigh high boots? I think you could fix this one pretty easily ultimately but it really needs fixin
Water Type
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Most - Wailord: Although there is no actual water in wailord's design, the mere presence of a whale implies the necessity for an amount of water that is almost as catastrophically overwhelming in its absence as its presence.
Least - Palkia: Other than looking like an anthropomorphized speedboat palkia is not particularly aquatic in its nature
Best - Lapras: There's a lot of great water pokemon designs but i think lapras is firing on all cylinders. Really a classic pokemon design.
Worst - Quaquaval: There are a lot of pokemon that are uncomfortably anthropomorphic and there have been since gen 1. It's not something I'm against in concept at all and it's produced some of my favorite pokemon designs of all time. But unfortunately when it flops it flops hard. Seriously, what are these proportions? Perfectly fine idea for a pokemon just executed with shocking inelegance.
Fire Type
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Most - Gigantamax Cinderace: This is simply the most amount of fire you're getting in a fire pokemon. Biggest bang for your buck
Least - Blacephalon: Another ultra beast design that is, as a design, excellent, but i would not be able to guess the typing on the first try if you put a gun to my head
Best - Chandelure: What if a haunted chandelier was your friend. Enough said. This thing just rules
Worst - Cinderace: Everything I said about quaquaval is equally true here.
Fighting Type
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Most - Machamp: He's a wrestler with four arms this is as fighting as fighting gets
Least - Meditite: This is a small child in an open, peaceful stance. I sense no violence here. If he were to fight, he would have been provoked.
Best - Mienshao: effortlessly elegant design that conveys the aesthetics of martial arts with the simplified animal anatomy and strong shape language that represents pokemon at it's best
Worst - Gurdurr: This entire line is profoundly uncomfortable to me but the prominent near-bursting veins and inexplicable hourglass figure are at their worst here.
Flying Type
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Most - Altaria: This is a bird made out of clouds, which is the most flyingest a thing could be.
Least - Shaymin (Sky Forme): This dude doesnt look like its feet are getting off the ground anytime soon if i'm being quite honest
Best - Sigilyph: Great example of what flying type can look out when you branch away form birds. The stranger and less organic feeling pokemon are collectively some of my favorite and i think sigilyph is one of the more effective ones.
Worst - Enamorus: 😬
Electric Type
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Most - Xurkitree: The Exposed Copper Wiring Pokemon. Great stuff. Also a banger design on top of being the most.
Least - Alolan Geodude: I understand the eyebrows and hair are supposed to be gatherings of lead sand but its still not giving electrivity. it just looks like a rock, one of the least electric things on the planet
Best - Rotom (All Forms): I wanted to put every rotom here but there was no way to arrange that easily. Just picture all the other rotoms here too. Rotom is awesome it's normal design is just cute and fun and then all of the other appliances are just a great concept.
Worst - Elektrike: Not unforgivably bad or anything but just kind of a design that doesn't convey a lot of information or have any appeal to it. Completely forgettable.
Poison Type
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Most - Galarian Weezing: This guy is the most poisonous possible poison you could have. This guys hobby is global warming. This guy is dumping carcinogens into the river. And not just incidentally. He's ideologically motivated AND gets pleasure from it.
Least - Oddish: Not only do I not believe eating an oddish would poison me, i think oddish is healthy. I think it's good for you.
Best - Ivysaur: It's impossible to truly extract the nostalgia from my feelings towards the gen 1 pokemon designs but I think we can all agree. Ivysaur looks great
Worst - Eternatus: Does not even look like it belongs in the same franchise as anything else on this list so far. And on top of that, it looks stupid. 0/10. I do like the version of it that's an evil hand though.
Psychic Type
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Most - Mega Alakazam: This dude looks like he should be airbrushed on a black velvet tapestry. I can't imagine anything more psychic than that.
Least - Exeggcute: Picking a least psychic pokemon was a hard one, because although we have some specific idea of what a psychic is, it's hard to say what one isn't. Ultimately, I don't think a handful of cracked eggs feels very psychic to me. I'm not sure what they feel like to me to be honest.
Best - Deoxys: Take a note, people, this is how you design a pokemon that's 'cool'
Worst - Necrozma: Take a note, people, this is not how you design a pokemon that's 'cool'
Ground Type
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Most - Dugtrio: Dugtrios presence in the area is synonymous with the ground. It is not the ground itself but it is of the ground. It will never leave the ground. We will never know dugtrio in its entirety, we will only see as much of it as the ground lets us.
Least - Whiscash: That's a fish, it shouldn't be on the ground.
Best - Trapinch and Claydol: I really really wanted to avoid ties here but please indulge me just this one. These are two creatures that are perfectly made but each in its own distinct way.
Worst - Zygarde (Complete Forme): Overdesigned as fuckkkkkk
Ice Type
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Most - Avalugg: This guy's ice.
Least AND Worst - Jynx: Not only is Jynx not particularly icy, changing the skintone was really not enough to redeem this design.
Best - Glaceon: There aren't any bad eveelutions. That said, glaceon isn't my favorite. However in the contect of ice pokemon I think it does a great job of using shape language and colors that feel icy without needing to actually resort to just chucking ice onto it. A lot of ice pokemon are either a little bit too on the nose or just outside of my taste bracket
Bug Type
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Most - Caterpie: Very bug.
Least - Pineco: this is a pinecone with eyes, which is different from a bug.
Best - Leavanny: Look at that winning smile :)
Worst - Buzzwole: TOO SWOLE!!!!
Rock Type
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Most - Onix: You may think it would have been geodude, who is just a rock with arms, but onix is actually just a rock with a face which is then attached to SEVERAL MORE ROCKS. That's as rock as it gets.
Least - Sudowoodo: You can't pull the wool over my eyes. That's a tree.
Best - Lunatone: What if the moon was kind of creepy and also your pet.
Worst - Terrakion: Think this motherfcukers just ugly
Dragon Type
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Most - Mega Charizard X: We all know Charizard is a dragon but that's only sometimes true. When it's true, it's very true.
Least - Tatsugiri (All Forms): Why is a piece of sushi a dragon. I do support it don't get me wrong. But I'm not exactly following the throughline
Best - Rayquaza: I think sometimes the legendary pokemon end up in the Too Much category but I think rayquaza pushes riiight up against that edge without going over it.
Worst - Dracovish: Shitting on the mix and match fossilized pokemon feels kind of like low hanging fruit. I honestly think they're kind of fun in concept. But this just looks stupid
Ghost Type
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Most - Haunter: Self explanatory
Least - Decidueye: A very fun design but it feels like its got much too life in it to be ghostly.
Best - Polteageist: I'm insanely biased because I love ghosts and have a teapot collection so when i saw they put a ghost in a teapot i was overjoyed and it became my favorite pokemon as a whole instantly.
Worst - Gholdengo: Looks like the mascot for a string cheese brand
Dark Type
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Most - Guzzlord: Dark type in japanese is Evil type which certainly has different connotations. In either case, I think whatever it means for a pokemon to be dark or evil is embodied here.
Least - Scraggy: I don't think this guy is dark or sinister at all.
Best - Mega Absol: I'm just so charmed by mega absol because it is indistinguishable from the kind of thing a teen with a deviantart would have drawn. It's like an edgy emo fairy white haired anime boy angel sparkledog. But despite that it still has a lot of aesthetic integrity and manages to only be a bit over the top in a way i think it's suited for.
Worst - Mega Sharpedo: This cluttered design pretty much undoes anything that's successful about sharpedo's standard form
Steel Type
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Most - Melmetal: the unrelenting metalness of this guy is not even tanted by any even vaguelt biological components
Least - Wormadam (Trash Cloak): Not a single visibly metallic part on this pokemon
Best - Magearna: A clockwork magical girl... what a great design.
Worst - Varoom: Something about this guy looks agonized to be alive. And I feel that agony too. It looks like a motorcycle that was in the process of being transmogrified into a creature but the process was incorrectly terminated halfway through and now it lives a cursed and painful existence.
Fairy Type
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Most - Mega Diancie: this thing could give me a quest to save the world and i would listen to it
Least - Galarian Weezing: I also wanted to do no duplicates but once again I will ask you for my forgiveness. Clearly this thing is the least fairy fairy. Not only is it unfairy, I think it tortures fairies. I think it's the villain in a movie where a bunch of children have to rescue a gang of captured fairies who are being used to power a Pollution Factory. I think this things grinds fairies up into dust and uses them to line the rim of its cocktail glass.
Best - Klefki: Klefki is soooo fun. I feel like if klefki was a ghost pokemon it wouldn't hit the same way because the idea of a haunted keyring is fun, sure, but it's notwhere near as good as a Whimsical Enchanted Keyring.
Worst - Zacian: this thing could give me a quest to save the world and im not sure i would listen to it. man the legendary dogs are just kind of a mess aesthetically
Okay that's all of the types. I don't really have a way to end this post. Of course there are a bunch of really good designs and really weird and cluttered ones that I didn't get a chance to talk about but. Idk man I can't rate every pokemon design there's just too many of them. there you have it.
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mcmansionhell · 1 year
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mojo dojo casa house
Howdy folks! Sorry for the delay, I was, uhhhh covering the Tour de France. Anyway, I'm back in Chicago which means this blog has returned to the Chicago suburbs. I'm sure you've all seen Barbie at this point so this 2019 not-so-dream house will come as a pleasant (?) surprise.
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Yeah. So this $2.4 million, 7 bed, 8.5+ bath house is over 15,000 square feet and let me be frank: that square footage is not allocated in any kind of efficient or rational manner. It's just kind of there, like a suburban Ramada Inn banquet hall. You think that by reading this you are prepared for this, but no, you are not.
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Scale (especially the human one) is unfathomable to the people who built this house. They must have some kind of rare spatial reasoning problem where they perceive themselves to be the size of at least a sedan, maybe a small aircraft. Also as you can see they only know of the existence of a single color.
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Ok, but if you were eating a single bowl of cereal alone where would you sit? Personally I am a head of the table type person but I understand that others might be more discreet.
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It is undeniable that they put the "great" in great room. You could race bicycles in here. Do roller derby. If you gave this space to three anarchists you would have a functioning bookshop and small press in about a week.
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The island bit is so funny. It's literally so far away it's hard to get them in the same image. It is the most functionally useless space ever. You need to walk half a mile to get from the island to the sink or stove.
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Of course, every McMansion has a room just for television (if not more than one room) and yet this house fails even to execute that in a way that matters. Honestly impressive.
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The rug placement here is physical comedy. Like, they know they messed up.
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Bling had a weird second incarnation in the 2010s HomeGoods scene. Few talk about this.
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Honestly I think they should have scrapped all of this and built a bowling alley or maybe a hockey rink. Basketball court. A space this grand is wasted on sports of the table variety.
You would also think that seeing the rear exterior of this house would help to rationalize how it's planned but:
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Not really.
Anyways, thanks for coming along for another edition of McMansion Hell. I'll be back to regular posting schedule now that the summer is over so keep your eyes peeled for more of the greatest houses to ever exist. Be sure to check the Patreon for today's bonus posts.
Also P.S. - I'm the architecture critic for The Nation now, so check that out, too!
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