#as well as challenge nyself and get better
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Besties, it's clipboard season again, and not to brag but I'm really fucking good at colors
#clipboard season: when i tey desperately to paint a clipboard for all of the leadership and my staff at the camp i work at#this year it amounts to about fifteen clipboards#i choose a different cool thing that reminds me of the person or what i think they would like and then paint it on the back of a clipboard!!#today i started the first because i got the overwhelming vision while i was at work and i needed to paint it#this guy is the nature director. loves fishing and is very good at it. knows a shit ton about fish and fishing#so im painting his clipboard in the style of those educational posters with a bunch of different fish on it#yknow the yellowy beige ones with like fish or plants drawn on them#yeah. im doing that with common fish found in our lake!!#which prompted this post because. that yellowy beige was a fun color to mix up. and not to brag but i got it just about perfect#now comes the drawing. im better at painting than drawing#colors and stuff make more sense than lines and stuff. but im getting better!#im learning more and more every day. and i guess today (and for rhe next ten days) ill be learning to draw fish#(I'm giving myself ten days per clipboard)#(last year when i started i only had like three days per clipboard to finish them before camp)#(spoiler: i finished exactly one)#really hoping this year ill do better. mostly because i love painting and this is a fun way to remember to do ir#as well as challenge nyself and get better#i hope youre all having a great 2024
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Hello followers!
In the spirit of awareness, and as a form of update, I want to talk a bit about my anxiety disorder.
I've had it my entire life, not as a prodict of trauma, just for whatever reason I have trouble dealing with stress and adapting to change. It makes it hard for me to get out of my own head and very unwilling to try anything new. The symptoms manifest as occasionally isolating nyself and making myself quite sad, social anxiety, lots of self doubt and self deprecation, heart palpitations during stressful situations, and difficult aftershock episodes of nausea, which lead to several days of not eating at the most severe.
As I've grown and experienced more I've become significantly more aware of myself and much better at dealing with these symptoms. I'm more confident, outgoing, brave, and openminded at 26 than I've ever been in my life! However life is full of changes and challenges and this year has tested me in ways I wasn't as ready for as I thought I was.
So I've finally taken steps to get help. I'll be meeting with a professional at a clinic to discuss options and how best to manage my sometimes unmanageable symptoms so that I can continue to grow and live life even when I get curveballs.
If you're also experiencing symptoms that prevent you from living your life please take time to get help. Value your well being. You are worth the work to make yourself better. Asking for help will not make you weaker. If you need help to recover you're not any less strong than someone who "powers through". The bravery to ask for help is an incredible power in itself.
I'm so grateful for all of you who follow and support my work, even when I can be inconsistent in quality and productivity. I am lucky to be surrounded by supportive friends and family and I know I can get through this and be better.
Please take care of yourselves and be kind, and I will do the same.
Lara Jean
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