#which was something ive been wanting to do but
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ive said this once and i will say it again, grady is the most nuanced character in KOTLC. Purely from just how he is written in canon- there is so much we can draw from his character with little inference.
On the one hand, you have a walking tragedy: he manifested one of the rarest and most dangerous abilities in the lost cities at a young age, he lost his daughter to her fiance, (if we're talking theory, he may have been in the neverseen), you can't help but feel sympathy for him.
But then- you realize something terrifying.
Gisela and Vespera are right.
Grady is the most ruthless elf in the lost cities.
But he's also one of the kindest.
Despite the danger it poses, he and Edaline adopt the Moonlark, they put themselves at risk. Despite everything been through, they willingly give their love to a girl who needs it. That is one of the kindest acts someone can pull off.
However, as alluded to earlier, there's another side to him. Despite how concerned, kind, and thoughtful he is; he is also vengeful, impulsive, and distrusting.
Let's look at Everblaze again. Partially because it's the best example of his darker nature, partially because I have it on hand right now, partially because it is my favorite book in the series.
In Everblaze, Grady's vengeance and impulse is seen in full. Take King DImitar, for an example. Sophie was going to be taken away; and Grady jumped in. He believed it to be the right thing to do; and believe me it was, but there is a dark tone to it. A feeling of impulse; that he wasn't truly thinking at the moment. And he almost violated the treaty, if it wasn't for the Councillors coming to his defense.
This scene serves as subtle foreshadowing for later and sets up something very important about Grady:
He could kill someone if he wanted to. And he knows that.
But what could push him that far? Well, there is an answer to that, an answer we later find out:
Jolie's death.
When he finds out the true circumstances to Jolie's untimely demise, his sheer ruthlessness is demonstrated. There's a deeper level to this however, it is his underlying fear of being taken advantage of showing to its surface.
Brant took advantage of Grady and Edaline, and that is the biggest injustice to Grady. Because it's what he has been fearing, it's why he had closed himself off to the world.
That fear causes the sheer level of terror that is caused in Grady. Terror that builds into his impulses, which causes him to go out to find Brant, with intent to kill.
That's why he doesn't want Sophie to come with, he doesn't want his daughter to see the monster he was about to become.
The monster he believes himself to be.
It's not just Everblaze, but a feeling that permeates his character and his choices.
His distrust of Keefe stems from two things:
The similarities he sees between himself and Keefe (the sense of humor, the blond hair, and later in the books; the ability of control).
How that, in a way, is all Grady has ever known.
Elves manifest young. Meaning that he has spent a majority of his life being distrusted by his peers, as well as distrusting the world and fearing someone would take advantage of him.
So when there's a talented but terrified young kid that needs his helps; whether through adoption or through training, he obligies.
Why?
Because he sees himself so much in that situation. Because of that deep feeling of kinship, he feels a need to take care of people in that situation.
Grady's empathy trumps his distrust.
And that's why he starts helping Keefe. That's why he adopts Sophie.
tl;dr: grady's character absolutely FUCKS why does no one talk about this???
also he is hotter than hell and i will fight people on this
#you guys dont understand him like I do#shannon gave him so much depth for him to BARELY BE IN IT? his lore runs so deep.#character analysis#kotlc#kotlc fandom#kotlc thoughts#grady ruewen#keeper of the lost cities#kotlc grady#edaline ruewen#kotlc edaline
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making a new post bc the other one is pretty bulky, im about to be severely overdrafted when i pay my rent in a few days and i really really really cant let that happen :( pls if you have anything to spare i'd appreciate it, im in the process of finding a new job because my current one refuses to give me hours. im transmasc and i dont have a car so finding a job has been difficult but im doing everything i can to make ends meet. even just spreading this around helps
pp: paypal.me/bewearrr
vnm: tobias_leviathan
thank you 🥺💕
90/450
#ive been rejected from multiple jobs simply because I don't have a car. even the ones i dont need to travel for#i have drivers license and a bus route but thats not good enough#its not like i even tell them i dont have a car either like they Find Out or theres some situation where i have to disclose that info#which feels illegal but whatever#anyways i am so fucking hopeless for the future im so terrified idk how im gonna pay my bills next month#ive tried asking for more hours at my current job but they dont care!!!! they dont fucking care!!!!!#idk how i went from having full time hours to working one day a week so suddenly but i hate it#and the worst part is theyre really guilt trippy about it and the managers are constantly talking abt it in the group chat#like they have all these extreme standards they only give you hours if you go way above and beyond in every aspect#even my good coworkers have been getting their hours cut#like even the IMPORTANT people arent getting hours#its fucked up!!!! never ever ever work for sheetz its a fucking nightmare#ive signed up for multiple temp agencies and none of them have given me any leads#im working on comms every day but it takes me so long to work on one piece that the process has been slow#im about to apply to work at fucking mcdonalds or something like its THAT bad rn i really dont want to but what other choice do i have
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demon choi san! x witch reader!
nsfw! no minors, 18+ , (a slap), mentions of inhumane part.
running through the streets your feet stinging as you focused solely on the destination in front of you, weaving in and out of the crowds of people. You never thought that this day would have came. You was pushed from your own coven. The people you was supposed to trust with your whole life and soul, in which you did now turnt on you, casting you to live the rest of your eternity far away from them. Now you dont know how long you had been running for, the sting of the balls of your feet hinting to the fact you may have been running for a while. You swung a sharp left, finding an old apartment that looked somewhat habitable. You grabbed your bag tightly, pushing through the door and sighing as you saw it kitted with a bed and some blankets thanking the heavens above for you having a little luck through this awful day.
You grabbed your phone out of your bag putting it on charge as you laid in the bed. You sighed letting yourself rest a little. Your emotions bubbling up as you laid there staring at the ceiling. You let the tears fall from your eyes. You sobbed as you felt your heart burning aflame, the anger spilling from your veins as you sat up, blinded by your own emotions you stood up, casting a spell that you had heard about from the rumors spread across town. You started chanting the incantation, the room dimming, the only light glaring was a hazy red glow, you gasped as the room filled with smoke. You tried to stop the spell but it continued, you tried to hide as the room became brighter the red glow getting closer to you as you hid under the blanket.
You felt a warmth above you, not wanting to move you tried your hardest to stay still. The warmth only spreading across your body as you kicked out hoping whatever was above you would move away allowing you to move. You gasped as you heard the thud of whatever was above you hit the floor. A gasp being heard as you moved slowly pulling the blanket from your grasp. You sighed a breath of relief when your gaze locked to the person on the floor. "h-hi-" you said your voice shaky. The fear still coursing through your veins as the room still cast itself in a hazy red glow.
"yeah, hi thanks for the kick to the groin, nice to meet you..y/n" the person says. You look closer as he speaks, noticing the small horns poking from his temple as he speaks. "oh so, youre a demon then" you say realising the weight of what you have just done as you speak the words.
"yeah sorry about that ..wait.. who are you then ive never seen you around before" you say. "well, im san and of course you haven't silly you just summoned me" san says a small giggle leaving his lips.
"o-oh ... erm ... well yeah" you say not sure what to do now you have done this.
-- time skip --
its been 5 years, from the moment you had met san, something about him drew you closer and closer, you now was waking up in the mornings to freshly cooked breakfasts in the home of your dreams. You couldnt have asked for anything better, you had long forgotten the pain that being pushed from your coven caused you, you had been speaking with fate a lot and realised that somehow, she had a plan for you all along. You took this as her plan that she had created for you. Leading your paths to always lead towards him.
You smiled as you walked into the room, the smell of the bacon and eggs being cooked invading your nose, a sigh of relief escaping your lips as you walked towards the man cooking. You arms wrapping around his torso, the bare skin glistening with a slight sheen as the heat radiated from him. He let out a content sigh as your arms wrapped around him.
"morning sleepyhead" he says, turning around to pick you up and place your body on the counter.
You gasp as the cold surface hits your skin. A giggle leaving sans lips as he continues cooking, plating the food and lifting a slice of bacon, feeding the food to you. You moan at the taste, laughing as the noise caused sans face to change colour a blush spreading across his cheeks as his horns move slightly, the tips blush with a red.
"oh sannie look at you" you breathe out as you reach up, caressing his horns a little as you look at him. A scoff being heard leaving sans lips as his hands gripped your sides. You winced a little as the harshness of his grip sent a shiver down your spine.
You let out a whine as you felt his grip pulling you closer to his body, the air thickening with a aura of lust and desire. "You know just how to push my button dont you princess" he breathes out. Sighing as he takes in the heat radiating from your body as he smirks, your body reacting to his every touch and movement.
"fuck you san" you breathe out, within the moment the words leave your lips you wince and moan, his hand making contact with your cheek. The slap harsh enough to cause you to clench around nothing. The lacy underwear you picked out now becoming soaked with your own arousal.
You let out a breath as he breath, as if he was inhaling your scent. You look at him, your eyes now hooded with lust and need. You grip onto his shoulders your hand finding the back of his head pulling him down to crash yourselves together in a heated kiss. You bodies moving in sync with each other. The room filling with the sounds of your bodies interwining together. You gasp when you feel your body moved, your body now pressed against the cold frame of the counter. You let out a breathy moan as you felt the cold air hit your aching core. The pants long gone as you feel the warmth replaced with the familiar feeling of sans fingers entering your aching core. Your arousal pooling out and onto his hand. "Fuck baby youre soaked" he breathes out taking the digits out from your abused hole as tasting your arousal. Moaning loudly he grips his cock coating it in you before sliding his throbbing cock into you. He watched as he thrusted into you hard bottoming out before starting to thrust into you at a demonic pace. He giggled to himself, your name slipping from his tongue as he gripped onto your body, his tail now wrapped around your body holding you into place as he fucked into you harder. Your body becoming limp as the pleasure coursed throughout your body. You whined as he wrapped his hand around your throat squeezing any last resemblance of bratiness, your body completely and utterly surrending to his every move. You gasped as the familiar knot in your stomach tightened hard. You came, his load mixing with yours as he groaned biting into your skin. You hissed as his teeth latched into your skin.
"my good girl"
#ateez x reader#ateez fic#ateez smut#ateez san#ateez scenarios#choi san#ateez san x reader#ateez#ateez imagines#ateez fanfic
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iv. two inches - acta, non verba
chapter 3 | series masterlist | ao3 pairing: conqueror!marcus acacius x ofc!reader. summary: will the stars finally align so you can have who you want? a/n: hiii! sorry it's taken me a month to update 🥲 after watching gladiator ii, i knew i had to come back to these two asap. as always, all interactions welcome, i do appreciate you liking, sharing and/or commenting! take care 💖 warnings (spoilers): 18+, mdni. smut incoming. sexual tension galore. marcus jerks off to the thought of you. kissing. breast worship. mentions of past sexual trauma/marital abuse. the tip goes in. misogynistic views. infidelity. dialogue in italics means it’s spoken in gaelic (unless stated otherwise, i.e. latin). marcus is 49, ofc!reader (callie) is 26. w/c: ~8.4k. dividers by @\saradika-graphics taglist at the end (let me know if you want to be added/removed please!)
Niamh’s appearance had startled you, bringing you back to reality. For a second you had let yourself rejoice in the moment, in having Marcus—quite literally—on the palm of your hand. You had not intended on it going so far; on grabbing his manhood with resolution and pumping him with delight. His hardening dick had been so hard to ignore, you just gave in to temptation.
His initial reticence to not be touched was what had spurred you on. Marcus had attempted to reject your advances, although unsuccessfully. Him turning you down only encouraged you more, wanting to prove to him how badly he desired you, even if he tried to conceal his lust.
The sooner he realised he wanted you, the faster your plan would move along.
And by the Gods did he realise, his steely cock living proof of his appetite for you.
What you had not expected though was your own body’s reaction to Marcus’ undeniable desire. Your pussy had been gushing all along, each stroke on his girth unravelling something within you — especially when you hinted at the idea of slotting his cock between your lips to suckle on him. That simple thought sent a warm wave down your spine, your folds wetting almost instantly. In fact, you could still feel the dampness your thighs were harbouring for him.
And it was all part of your scheme, anyway. Eventually you planned on it happening — sooner rather than later, preferably. If you experienced a few orgasms thanks to him in the process… well, even better. The trash sex Iain had subjugated you to for a decade was the only thing you had known in the bedchamber — not once did you climax, yet many a times—if not always—you wailed in pain. Considering how your flesh had reacted to Marcus, perhaps the General would be useful in more than one way to you.
Biting the inside of your cheek, you glanced at him over your shoulder — a quick peek through your lashes, your teeth nibbling on your bottom lip.
You were riding together on his horse, his arms tight around your shoulders pinning you in place. His bulge was pressing against the soft curve of your ass — no wonder your pussy was still laced with slick.
Knowing Marcus was in hell right now, you wiggled your hips back, the plumpness of your buttocks nuzzling his swollen groin. The General swallowed a groan, his arms tighter around your shoulders, and you smirked to yourself, feeling his erection hard pressed against you. Marcus had found no relief since Naimh interrupted you both and was still at full mast. And understanding that caused your insides to melt.
Truth be told, you would have liked to finish what you started. Not for his sake, but for your own. Making him come in your mouth would have partially put out the hellfire that burnt inside you, wreaking havoc in your seam.
The animosity between Marcus and Maximus shimmered in the atmosphere.
The Commander had only brought his own horse and yours had deserted you, which meant that, if you were to come back, you had to choose between the two Romans. Maximus had gracefully offered you to ride with him, and the mischievous sideways look he shot in Marcus’ direction didn’t escape you.
But before you could accept or decline, Marcus had mumbled something under his breath before ordering you to ride with him. Maximus was delighted with the whole exchange, and you understood that the Commander was actually teasing the General.
A little possessiveness wouldn’t hurt. It meant you were stirring Marcus in the right direction — yours.
You ventured another sneaky look at Acacius, your curiosity concealed by the cover provided by the trees.
His lips pursed in frustration, but his eyes distilled exhaustion. Marcus had lost enough blood to put a man to sleep for a week, but here he was, standing and conscious, away from Dhuosnos’ realm.
You had made sure of that, not only by mending his wounds, but also by killing one of the attackers. That ambush had left a crawling suspicion in the back of your mind, bothering and nagging. There was something weird about it all but couldn’t pinpoint exactly what.
Maximus spoke, filling the silence and voicing your inkling.
“And you’re sure you didn’t recognise them, General?”
Marcus slowly shook his head again, his chest rubbing your back with the motion.
“No. They spoke that barb— uhm, the local language,” he muttered, briefly looking at you sideways, almost apologetic.
You knew how the original sentence was going to finish: that barbaric language. A reminder of who he was after all—your enemy. You shouldn’t lose sight of that, of the true purpose of your actions.
It felt wrong, how your lust awakened for none other than your enemy. Yes, you intended on bedding him, but your previous thought of getting Marcus to make you come now angered you. Your arousal felt like a betrayal to the memory of your family. You shouldn’t wet at the idea of fucking him — if anything, you should feel disgusted of your own reaction.
Straightening your back, you just rolled your eyes with disdain, letting him know of your annoyance.
“I’ll ask around, see what I can find out,” Maximus thought out loud, then glanced at you through the darkness. “Did you recognise any of them? Their accent?”
Slowly shaking your head, you grasped the saddle’s horn.
“No, I didn’t. I’m not sure they were from around here,” you explained, wondering if you were saying too much.
They hadn’t recognised you, which showed they were not your clansmen. But they were pretending to be.
You went quiet, your frown deepening.
“What’s bothering you, my lady?” Marcus’ breath caressed your ear, your skin bristling instantly.
“Nothing,” you replied quickly.
Too quickly.
“I’m sorry you had to defend yourself,” he whispered, his husky voice low so only you could hear him. “I should have paid more attention. I won’t let it happen again.”
Suddenly you realised he thought this was your first time killing someone. Little did he know, you probably had reaped as many souls as he had. You were no stranger to the battlefield — your father had taught all his children how to wield a sword, how to take a life. You learnt how to detach your soul from your body whenever someone’s life was cut short in order to preserve part of your humanity. It was the only way you could live with yourself, because it didn’t matter if they deserved it or not, it still gnawed at your conscience at night.
Marcus, on the contrary, seemed to be oblivious to how much pain his killing had caused. Had caused you.
Another reminder.
But then you realised what he had said. He wouldn’t let it happen again — a fissure in his impassiveness. Was he starting to care about you?
So you played on his protectiveness, on his words. Pouting lips, doe eyes and all, you nodded.
“I… I just wanted to protect you, Dominus. I was afraid he would hurt you,” you mumbled back, faking your fear for him.
The decade with Iain was paying off after all. To survive by your late husband’s side, you had to master the ability of make-believe, to pretend you were feeling ways you truly weren’t — afraid, amused, sad, happy, distraught, content. You had acquired the skills to feign a whole range of emotions, and this would be useful with the General.
He bought it.
“Don’t worry about me, Callie,” his voice was but a whisper, but that wasn’t what distracted you.
His broad—massive actually—right hand had landed on your right knee, squeezing it lightly, as if to soothe you; your suffering for having killed a man. His touch was light and brief, but long enough to leave goosebumps in his wake.
You were not sure which one of you were more taken aback — him because of his sudden show of worry, or you because of how that had made you feel.
“But I appreciate what you did back there,” he quickly added, clearing his throat, both of his hands gripping the leather reins.
“I would do it all over again, Dux Meus. For you.”
Perhaps you were buying it too.
Nay, can’t be.
The whole ride back to Inbhir Nis castle was literal torture. A tempting nymph on his lap, warm and inviting, was the last thing Marcus needed to worry about.
But instead of the last, you had become the first on a never-ending list of concerns. Curbing his desire for you had been a herculean task, one he did not accomplish. Because as soon as the door to his chambers closed behind him, he stripped himself of all his clothing.
The moment the jail of his armour was gone, freed from its heaviness and tight grip, Marcus sighed, just finding a miniscule relief.
The erection that you provoked him was as hard as a couple of hours ago, shaft throbbing against his happy trail. It had been at least two hours since you had worked him to this state of unsatisfied lewdness and now it was just damn uncomfortable to be at full mast.
A warm bath was awaiting him, and Marcus only took a second to dive in. The hot, milky water was welcoming, soothing his strained muscles. There were herbs floating around — rosemary, lavender and thyme, at least the ones his sense of smell recognised.
A scent that had hit him before, when he encountered you getting out of the garderobe a few weeks ago. Why did that aroma remind him of you? Why would you just not leave his mind? This thought of you lingering was dangerous, distracting. But so fucking alluring too — there was something about you, the mischievous aura you exuded, that reeled Marcus in.
It was intoxicating, really. No, you were intoxicating. And he just wanted to drown in it, in you.
Marcus grunted in frustration, one hand sinking under the water to find his heavy balls and massage them gently. His head tilted back, resting on the edge of the wooden bathtub, and his eyes squeezed shut when his imagination took him back to the moment you wielded his cock.
Now that the haze of his fainting had lifted, he should have shown himself some self-restraint to stop whatever this was. But he couldn’t, the memory of your tight grip too unravelling, too compelling.
So, in the privacy and safety of his bedchamber, he gave in to temptation. A last squeeze on his full testicles and then he was pumping his thudding dick to the thought of you doing exactly the same. His hand was your hand, and that was everything Marcus needed.
His thumb pressed on the slit, just as you had done. Then the bobbing of his hand picked up a faster rhythm, his free hand drifting down to hold his balls again, and Marcus jerked himself off while he envisaged you sealing your lips around his plump head, just as you had teased.
That was his undoing — you suckling on him, milking him dry with your mouth. Marcus could envision it perfectly: on your fours between his hairy, thick thighs, hand twisting on the base of his shaft while you sucked in his mushroom head, dick pulsing hard for you. And you glancing up at him with those green orbs — full, hypnotising eye contact, almost too intimate.
A few more strokes on his cock, imagination running wild, and he finally came. His breathing hitched and accelerated, becoming irregular, as his fist clutched harder around his girth. Spurts of white, tacky robes left his slit, his glans just peeking out of the water, and landed on his chest.
It took Marcus a couple of minutes to come down from his high. This was a new low for him, having to masturbate himself to the thought of someone because he was too horny to let it go. Too proud to ask you to finish what you had started. Too loyal to his cheating wife.
The last thought annoyed him, not wanting to think about Livia at this precise moment. He resented her, probably more than what he should. But her betrayal stung like fire licking on his skin, their holy matrimony reduced to a farce. For all he knew, he did not have any children of his own blood now. Marcus loved them equally though, but it still gnawed at him that he had been raising the children of another man unknowingly.
The life he had carefully built seemed to have crush down to its foundations. Marcus truly did not know what to expect upon his return. He had left abruptly, called by the Emperor and Agricola, with no time to discuss his family life with his wife. He didn’t think he could just go back to normal, not after what had emerged.
Being out here in the wild Caledonia, Marcus felt his life on hold, postponing the inevitable. But he couldn’t think about that now, not when he had so many tasks ahead of him.
Absentmindedly, Marcus cupped some water and washed the cum off his chest, watching it swirl around in the tub.
A knock, then the creak of the door as it opened.
His heart jumped and he quickly sat back up in the bathtub, water splashing as he did. He had forgotten to put on the latch.
He hoped to hell it was Atticus, at least.
“Dux Meus?”
Wrong, fucking wrong.
Had he thought of you so hard that he had willed your presence?
Your profile peeked through the crack in the doorframe.
“Can I come in, General?”
Your ask was a mere formality, because before he could say anything, you had already entered the room and closed the door behind you.
Marcus’ back straightened, his relaxed muscles tautening again in your presence. Could he have no moment of respite, when he would not be haunted by bewildering scents and suggestive lips?
For a brief second, Marcus watched you look around, taking in the details of the room. A big, four poster bed with translucent veils hanging from every side; the matching oak furniture; the vivid, colourful tapestries on the bare stone walls telling stories he never heard of; a wonky standing shelf with a small library, books he had flicked through at candlelight before bed; the rudimentary chimney where a fire burnt and crackled.
Because even in spring, the thick walls of the castle kept a cool atmosphere inside. The pyre warmed up the room, but Marcus thought the temperature shot up the moment you stepped closer to where he was.
“What are you doing here?” his question sounded almost accusatory, his fingers gripping the edges of the tub, knuckles whitening.
His wary demeanour didn’t put you off, light feet closing the distance with a smirk.
As you approached, Marcus couldn’t help but marvel at the sight of you. Your green skirt flowed around you, hugging your voluptuous hourglass figure in all the right places. Your red hair framed your delicate features, freckles dotted around your nose and cheeks on your moonlight skin. Cherry lips as plump as figs, reddened and curled up. Some flickering green eyes as fiery as the orange sparks in the flue stared at him with unknown intent. A marble neck that led the path to the esplanade of your collarbone, and then, right underneath…
His mouth watered, and his cock inevitably pulsed again. Your full breasts almost spilt over the low squared neckline of your dress, like sunny hills welcoming him home. Pebbled nipples greeting him. A deep cleavage so inviting, he could imagine pumping himself in between them, his glans just peeking through and kissing the center of your clavicle.
Another twitch in his groin made him steel himself and drawing a deep breath in to calm himself.
You crouched down, squatting right beside the bathtub, and placed one soft hand over his.
“I just wanted to make sure you were alright, Dux Meus. That your wounds were not bleeding, and the stitches were holding up,” the concern tinting your voice felt real to him.
Marcus cleared his throat, tense.
“They’re all fine. My healer certainly knew what she was going,” he conceded, then remembered. “Except for the blunt tip of the needle. That I did not appreciate.”
You laughed and patted his hand a few times in jest.
“Oh, I’m pretty sure an acclaimed General like yourself can withstand a little bit of pain, Dominus,” you joked, long eyelashes batting at him. “But for that I am sorry, I had to work with what Naimh had at hand.”
“Thank you. For saving my life twice,” he whispered, almost solemnly. “I am indebted to you, Callie.”
You waved a hand to dismiss his gratitude, gifting him a crooked smile that quickly reached your eyes.
“You killed two men. I think we are even, Dux Meus,” you muttered back, a low, wicked husk that knocked him off his senses momentarily.
With the smile still painted on your round lips, your eyes slowly drifted down his chest. The milky water was murky enough so you wouldn’t see through it, wouldn’t see how hard he was getting again.
And then you bit and licked your lips, the grin almost fading as a darker, sensual expression transformed your face — a mesmerising gesture that forced Marcus to follow your sight. Then he saw what had caught your attention: his cum floating around, gathering around the herbs that scented the now lukewarm water.
A moment of silence stretched between you, his heart racing up as your gaze lingered on the water, as if you were hoping for his erection to peep its head out above it.
Your fingers reached down into the water; palm cupped to trap some of his wasted seed. It filtered through your fingers until it all fell back into the bath water. Swirling your fingers around, you grabbed a tiny bunch of rosemary, dragging it across the water until the small leaves caressed the exposed skin of his chest.
The summit of your tongue licking your bottom lip as your eyes locked intimately.
So fucking suggestive, Marcus’ breath hitched, close to losing his mind.
“Marcus,” you cooed, your wet fingers dropping the rosemary and lifting up.
Your hand slid to his, wrapping around his wrist, a warm touch that spiked his heart rate.
A thunder crawled under his skin the moment you guided his hand over to your bosom. You squeezed his hand, smoothing it over your lush left breast. He couldn’t help but cradle it, feeling the taut nipple grazing the thin fabric, rubbing his palm.
“Please,” you almost sobbed, moving his hand in circles over your boob.
To hell with everything. He shouldn’t let himself be distracted by the pleasures of the flesh during such an important campaign, but Marcus wanted you so badly — his new erection living proof of the desire that burnt for you.
Just one time, to satiate the caprice, and then he could go back to his duties.
Your mouth was agape, beckoning like a siren. And as he was about to relinquish to the temptation you offered, leaning forward, another knock on the door swept the moment away.
“Dominus, Commander Maximus necessitates your presence immediately,” Atticus forewarned him before his steps faded in the distance of the hallway.
Perhaps you despised Atticus more than you hated Marcus, and that was a feat to beat.
The universe was intent on your plan not taking form at all, otherwise you could not explain all these fucking interruptions. Another person might have taken the hint, but not you. Stubborn as a mule, you would not stop at anything — Marcus would fall in your tangled web, whatever the cost.
You only needed to remember to keep a cool head. Among the hatred, pleasure shimmered, and it certainly bothered you. How your body had a mind of its own and responded to his obvious desire, damp fold hidden away between your thighs.
It’s just an act, you reminded yourself.
But as much as you tried to convince yourself, your drenched pussy agreed to disagree.
Huffing and puffing, you went down the spiral staircase and sauntered towards the kitchens. You were in dire need of some light-hearted jest, and the old cook would help take your mind off things with his banter.
Cormag wasn’t there, just Isla and Brighid shuffling around the hearth, keeping it alive. The smoky smell filled the room, almost suffocating, and you coughed.
“That chimney is close to getting clogged,” you managed to say, clearing your throat. “Should put the fire out and get one of the helping lads to go in there and clean it out.”
Isla turned around, her head bowing down as a quick curtsy. They all really needed to stop doing that, even when no Romans were around.
“We can’t do that yet, mo bana-phrionnsa (my princess)���, she replied, her hands busy kneading the flour on the counter. “Apparently there is a feast to be had tomorrow, one of the Romans’ birthdays. We’ve been asked to start the preparations for it, so will have to pull an all-nighter…”
Brighid voiced her discontent, crouched down by the fire, feeding it some logs.
“I don’t understand why we are wasting so much food on them. My family’s starving, we barely have any bread left, and these cu…” she quickly looked at you, embarrassed, but you nodded, encouraging, “these cunts eat like gluttons. Last night you were not here, my lady, but some of them even started throwing the food around at one another. Disgraceful.”
“Aye,” Isla agreed. “I had to pick up some unspoilt veggies off the floor. My nan has not had anything to eat for the last two days, she was worried that my siblings and I wouldn’t have enough to eat.”
Their struggles broke your heart. Not only because they were your clan, but because of the injustice of it all. No person should go to bed hungry, and these undesirable guests were forcing people to go without a meal.
You knew both of the maids, their families. Brighid’s son was three and had started to talk; her husband had returned with you from Raedykes and now was an amputee, trying to find a job to provide for his family. Isla’s parents had perished during the battle of Mons Graupius too, serving your father till their final days.
It was frustrating, but it was even more infuriating. Your hands were tied, and you could not wait to break free of your tethers. You looked forward to the moment this all would be over, that you could face a defeated Marcus Acacius and impart upon him the same misfortune he and his people left in their wake.
You stayed with them a little longer, helping out where they needed you to. A couple of hours later, tired and in need of your niece and nephew’s hug, you were flying by the hallways of the keep, heading back to your aunt Bonnie’s crannog, when male voices stopped you in your tracks.
The door to the great hall was ajar, Maximus’ raspy tone filtering through.
“Cassius’ henchman and some of his men went back to the spot where you were attacked. There were patches of blood on the grass, but the bodies were gone,” the Commander husked. “I find it weird, honestly.”
“So do I,” Marcus agreed. “I didn’t want to say it before, but one of them spoke in Latin to me. His accent was… definitely Roman.”
“That makes no sense,” Maximus replied, their voices clearer now. “What did he say to you?”
“Just ‘Die, bastard’. That was all, but I could tell he was fluent.”
“Leave it to me, I’ll see what I can find out.”
Heavy steps approached, and you knew they were close.
Picking up your skirt, you ran down the corridor, mixing with the shadows until darkness wrapped around you.
“What were you fucking thinking, Callie? You could’ve gotten killed!”
Torcall was not impressed with your outing, to say the least.
You rolled your eyes at him, arms folded. You shouldn’t have explained why you had been missing for so many hours, but you were not one to lie to your allies. Especially if they were family.
“I didn’t have a choice, Torcall. He saw me leaving and decided to accompany me. What should I have done? Tell him his gallantry was no longer needed because I decided not to go? That would have been so suspicious,” you reasoned, your own anger flaring. “And I was in no real danger, anyway. They were Caledonians.”
You downplayed that on purpose. They were Caledonians, aye, but they were really intent on killing you. You were still ruminating on that detail.
“And you killed one of them. For him. To protect the fucking General of Rome,” Torcall barked, teeth clenching. “Why didn’t you let them finish him? All of our problems would be over.”
His accusation, although deserved, enraged you. Even more so because you had thought exactly the same thing, and still decided to defend him.
“You’re so short-sighted, seriously. If I did, his entire army would have come hunt me down, ye eejit (idiot)!” You stood up, the legs of the chair screeching against the cobblestone. “Half of the castle saw us leaving together, I would’ve been the first one they suspected. And you know they tend to kill first and ask questions later.”
Torcall scoffed, fury distorting his features. But then a change of demeanour: he got up too and closed the distance between you two. For a moment he doubted, and then his arms wrapped around you, hugging you close to his chest.
The sudden proximity made you feel weird. Uncomfortable.
“I was just worried for you, Callie,” Torcall mumbled, his breath fanning over your ear. He leaned back, his hands lingering on your shoulders. “You’re like family to me. To my children.”
The intensity his eyes distilled caught you off guard. They were soft and pleading now, all his anger forgotten. And then they drifted down, landing on your mouth.
The whole atmosphere shifted, your heart beating wildly. Surely this all felt wrong to the both of you.
“You are family, Torcall,” you remarked. “You’re my sister’s husband, that’s actual family, not ‘like’ family.”
Your words carried meaning, and more than meaning — a subtle warning. A reminder too, of who he was and who you were to him. He shouldn’t forget himself. Torcall was your brother-in-law, and although pain had brought you closer these past weeks, it meant nothing more than that.
At least to you.
Torcall cleared his throat, his arms falling slack to his sides.
“Aye, I guess we are,” he sighed, pinched the bridge of his perfectly straight nose, and sat back down on the chair. “So, were they our brethren? You said they were Caledonians.”
You were relieved at the change of subject, the tension between you fading.
Nodding, you sat too.
“Aye, although their accent was not really from around here. But Acacius seemed to think they were Romans,” you added, your fingers drumming on the wooden table between you. “Think he’s wrong though, you can’t fake an accent like ours so easily. Do you reckon it’s got something to do with the attempt on the General’s life a few days ago?”
Torcall seemed to take a moment, contemplating his answer before he spoke. His eyes flickered for a second, his pupils a well full of doubts, something you thought odd.
“I don’t think so. They were just lads, highly doubt they could pull something like that off,” he commented, almost cautiously.
You frowned, eyes slightly squinting.
“They could be part of a larger group. You said so yourself, people don’t listen to reason when they feel threatened. Perhaps some of them have decided to take justice into their own hands. I never got a chance to speak to my cousins yesterday—”
“I did,” Torcall cut you off.
The wrinkles between your brows deepened.
“You did? You went to Bun Craobh?”
“Aye, had some errands to run,” he didn’t add any further explanation to that. “Ran into them and told them about your plan when I realised you hadn’t spoken to them yet.”
“That wasn’t for you to do, Torcall,” you replied, mildly infuriated at him for taking the liberty to do so. “What the hell did you tell them?”
“Nothing in too much detail, mainly because they’d try to talk you out of it the same way I did,” there was a note of reproach in his voice, one you decidedly ignored. “Just that you were planning on spying on the General to get details of their next steps.”
How you got to Marcus was none of his fucking business. Now you questioned whether you should have shared that information with Torcall or not, if he was going to fucking judge you at every step of the way. What you did and how you got what you wanted was entirely up to you. You hadn’t broken free from Iain to fall under the controlling hands of another man.
“Tiugainn (come on), Callie. I just told them enough so the word would spread that Murdoch’s only living daughter is planning on fighting back. Give the people a reason to hope,” he pleaded, sensing your anger.
“Aye, but next time, ask me. I don’t appreciate you bypassing me in these matters, not when I’ve got enough enemies at my doorstep.”
Marcus did not like all this unwanted attention. He was adamant this had been one of Maximus’ jokes, just to get on his nerves.
The General did not like celebrating his birthday. In fact, hated it. His wife would throw lavish parties back at home, wasting gold on unnecessary decorations and gifts — Livia would use any excuse to show off how full their vault was. Having made himself from nothing, Marcus understood how hard he had to work for each and every denarius to his name.
His most trusted Commander knew this and ignored it completely. He had mobilised the people of the castle to prepare a feast, food filling tables and wine spilling out of goblets in celebration. A fire had been lit in the big chimney presiding the great hall, white flower arrangements hung from the stone walls. There was even music being played in the background, the soft sounds of the lyre accompanied by a female voice who sang in Latin and praised all his conquests.
And what angered him most: there was a good handful of meretrices (prostitutes) lingering around. Most of them were local freedwomen, but others were slaves that Agricola’s men had brought with them. Marcus had not allowed his own army to bring any woman into this new land, needing them focused on the task ahead. Agricola was, on the other hand, very lenient in that respect — encouraging almost.
“How are you this beautiful afternoon, Dominus?” A sensual hum whispered in his ear tightened his muscles uncomfortably.
Looking over his shoulder, Marcus saw the blonde woman who had been eyeing him for a while. She was wearing a white toga, obviously one of the Roman slaves brought from overseas.
Unrequited, she sat on his lap, her round butt cheeks kneading his soft bulge, while one of her arms wrapped around his neck.
“Would you like a taste?” she asked with a bright smile, bringing a cup to his lips.
Marcus shook his head no, one hand stopping the chalice from getting closer.
“No, thank you. And I rather be left alone,” he told the prostitute, rejecting her advances flatly.
She just laughed, putting the goblet back down on the table. Then she leaned forward, her lips brushing the artery on his neck.
“Oh, we don’t really need to play this game, Master,” she whispered in his ear.
Unbothered by the suggestive talk and her pressing onto his lap, Marcus swept the great hall, a burning sensation in his chest commending him to.
Your eyes locked through the observing crowd. The green orbs that stared him down were filled with playfulness. Suddenly, that sensual wickedness transformed into brief anger, then disappointment.
It took Marcus a second to understand why you seemed upset. He had forgotten about the prostitute sitting on his lap, talking his ear off.
You stiffed, chin lifted up with disdain, and turned around with a wooden jug on your hands.
Fuck. Wait, no. It’s not what it seems, he wanted to say.
Marcus tried to get up, almost throwing the woman to the ground in his haste to get to you.
“I won’t require your services,” he politely declined when she looked at him in surprise.
“Oh…” her disappointment was visible, but it wasn’t the one he cared to soothe.
“Don’t worry, love, come here. The General seems in a hurry to leave. Some important matters, I wager,” Maximus extended his arm towards the blonde woman, inviting her onto his lap.
The sneering look Marcus threw Maximus’ way did not go unnoticed, his Commander laughing it off.
Ignoring him, he quickly walked off the dais, following your trail among the crowd. Your fiery red hair was like a beacon, one he followed to the main doors. A second later he was in the hallway and looked around, just in time to see you disappearing into the garderobe storing the wine.
Why he was following you, he was not sure. Why he needed to put your mind at ease, he was not sure either. All he knew was that the crushed expression you had given him stirred something within him.
In a few strides, he was right behind you, his hand holding open the wooden door to the garderobe.
“Callie,” he called you, your name rolling easily off his tongue, like a trained whisper.
Annoyed didn’t cut it, disappointed didn’t either. You were pissed. There you were, breaking your back to get Marcus to yield to you, for a prostitute to easily find comfort on his lap.
The man behind the façade was unknown to you, but you hadn’t taken him for someone who enjoyed his free time in the whorehouse. Judging by how his hand cupped the small of her back and how the blonde was basically licking his neck, you were mistaken.
You were not jealous though. Just pissed, that was it.
Mumbling to yourself, you had walked out of the great hall to refill the empty jug with his favourite wine, not wanting to see such a spectacle unfolding in front of you. The burning sensation in the pit of your stomach would eventually fade, you were sure.
Although the door behind you was open, the inside of the garderobe was pitch-black. Patting blindly in the dark, you found the open barrel.
As you were about to turn the iron tap on, the sound of your name made you jump on the spot. Your pulse accelerated and the jug fell from your hands, clattering on the stone floor. You didn’t need to look to know who it was — considering how your skin bristled and warmth pooled low in your tummy, you already knew.
“Fuck, Marcus!” you exclaimed when you turned around to look at him.
Your heart rate spiked again, for a very different reason this time.
He had followed you; he had left the prostitute behind to come look for you. That had to mean something. Perhaps you had a tighter grip on him than what you originally thought.
And that pleased you immensely, to your dismay. The butterflies in your belly should be fucking dead, not fluttering their wings in excitement. Your heart kept on pounding against your ribcage, even harder when Marcus entered the tiny room and swung the door behind him, leaving it ajar.
A sliver of light flooded in through the crack, just enough so you could make out his features and the hard lines of his body.
Suddenly, the garderobe felt extremely small with him inside too.
“It’s not what it seems. I wasn’t—”
“You owe me no explanation, Acacius. What you do or you don’t do, it’s not my business,” you cut him off with the right amount of bitter venom distilling from your tongue.
The General pursed his lips in frustration. A dose of his own medicine wouldn’t hurt him.
“It’s not like I’m waiting around for you to make up your mind,” you added, lying through your teeth.
But you were such a good liar, Marcus was none the wiser. He believed every word. His nostrils flared and his hands tightened into fists on his sides.
“What do you mean?” his raspy voice came out in a threat.
You cocked a brow, proud chin up.
“You know what I mean. Or do you need me to draw it down for you, so you understand?”
The provocation was, most probably, the last straw for him. Marcus almost snarled at you as he closed the distance. He grabbed both of your wrists with his thick fingers, yanked at them and pushed you into his chest.
The sudden display of anger took you by surprise. A pleasant surprise, especially when you noticed his swollen bulge pressing on your belly. Saliva pooled in your cheeks and slick in your pussy.
“I know that’s not true. You wouldn’t be so desperate—”
“I am desperate?” you laughed, the shaking of your tummy stroking the lump in his white toga. “You can fool yourself, Marcus, but don’t try to fool me.”
Marcus stiffened, pulling your wrists down and around his waist as his head bowed down to you, his lips ghosting over yours.
He was about to kiss you.
“You’ll be missed on the dais. I’m sure that blonde is looking for you. Is she the reason you are so hard right now?” you grumbled, your best attempt to get on the last of his nerves.
“She can go to hell. I want you,” he groaned, his mouth brushing yours. Your pussy gushing some more. “You are the reason why I can’t get it down.”
Marcus didn’t wait for your sneering reply — his mouth crushed yours, teeth colliding. The tip of his tongue pulled your teeth apart and he laid waste to your mouth. The stroke of his tongue on yours tasted sweet, warm. It swirled around in your cavity, looking for a crack in your determination to remain impassible.
But you were only human. You had wanted this since the moment you came up with your plan to destroy the General — you would never admit it out loud though.
So, you gave in, your tongue responding to his with little whimpers as your hands laced together on the small of his back to push him into you, feeling his erection through the fabric. One you knew how big and curved and thick it was. One you wanted to know the feel of in the most intimate way possible.
Marcus moaned in your mouth, and you breathed him in, bewildered by his taste and the herby smell his skin gave off. Your throat let go of a similar quiet wail, as you stumbled back, your back meeting the cold wall behind.
The General kissed you fiercely, the same way he waged war upon his enemies — relentless. His hips grinded against yours, rubbing his bulge on you to get off while his lips abandoned your mouth to lick the marble column of your neck. He trailed the path of your vein, leaving wet kisses on his way down.
Then he brushed the point where your left breast swelled, and the tip of his tongue skidded through your skin until it found the valley of your boobs. He licked between them, both of his hands cupping them up.
“I need to see them,” he whispered, your skin bristling instantly as his thumbs travelled up and rubbed the visible nipples. “Been dreaming about them since I met you. Can I?”
You did not expect him asking for permission, not when you assumed that, as the conqueror he was, he only took with no consideration.
Nodding with half-lidded eyes, surrendered to your own desire, you let him pull the neck of your dress down until both of your breasts were spilling over the hem.
“Good Gods, you are beautiful”, he muttered, marvelled at the sight of your boobs. His thumb brushed your taut left nipple, and you shivered. “They are perfect, columba (dove). So round and so full and so—” Crouched down over you, Marcus briefly licked it. “So fucking tasty.”
With no warning, his warm lips sealed around the tight button, and you couldn’t help yourself but moan, your hands burying in the nape of his neck and lightly pulling from his silvery curls. Marcus sucked it in, his tongue twirling around the nub. Then the caress of his wet muscle was replaced by his teeth lightly biting on your nipple and tugging.
Perhaps the sweet scent of the wine filling up the garderobe messed with your senses, with how you perceived the intensity of it all, of him.
You sobbed loudly, your cunt drenching and beating in response. Pressing your knees together, you wondered if this was how it was meant to be — how sex should feel every time. Warm, desperate, slick, needy. Because if this was it, if this was how it was supposed to be, you could never have enough.
A rush of wet warmth dripped onto your woollen loincloth, your lower belly inundated with a coiling feeling unknown to you — like a tense bow ready to fly an arrow.
Marcus’ right thumb found your unattended nipple, stroking it slowly as his devilish mouth devoured your other boob like a man starved. His tongue flicked and rippled against the tiny lump between his lips while his hips rutted into you, your dress and his toga impeding the contact you most craved.
“By Mars I swear you’re so fucking perfect,” he managed to say between licks before moving on to your other tit.
The General repeated the same process again and your legs trembled with elation. Tilting your face up, you massaged his scalp, soft moans slipping from your plump lips. His smothering tongue was so persuasive, lapping at you with precision, your mind went numb with pleasure. The coil in your belly tightened harshly, so much so you had to bite down your bottom lip to stop yourself from screaming his name.
Your damp pussy pulsated, another wave of slick wetting the pearly skin between your inner thighs.
“Marcus, oh, God,” you whispered, short of breath — your heart pounding in your ear drums, deafening.
“Let go for me. Come for me, sweetheart,” Marcus whispered before attacking your nipples again, one with his mouth and the other with his thumb.
His clothed cock rubbing low, right between your thighs. The roughness of your underwear abrasing your begging, writhing clit.
You couldn’t take it anymore. The overwhelming sensation between your legs was too much — your leaking cunt wanting to find release. And it did: the coil inside you finally snapped, warmth and dew soaking you. All your limbs went slack as you felt the last wave of your climax washing over you.
Then absolute peace, your brain numb with your first experience of an orgasm. Now you understood what other women whispered about when the men were away.
Speechless, you laid back against the wall as Marcus towered over you, a satisfied grin curling his lips.
“You’ve done so well for me,” his praise fell like sugary water from his lips, the palms of his hands cradling your face as he pressed his erection against you.
His tongue flicked between your lips, coaxing them apart, and you obliged. A soft, almost puritanical, kiss pressed on your mouth before his lingered to your cheek, then your ear.
“Callie, please, I need to fuck you,” the inflection on the word need made you whimper.
Unable to still find the words, feeling all mushy and heavenly, you nodded.
The sigh of relief that bubbled up Marcus’ chest would have made you laugh in other circumstances. But there was nothing laughable about this, about two people chasing the highest of highs.
“Praise be to the Gods,” he prayed at your acceptance, his broad hands landing on your hips to turn you around.
The cold stone wall greeted your nipples, the General pinning you against the wall with your back leaned on his hard chest. Tilting your hips back, your ass sweetly nuzzled his swollen groin, then his hands rode up the skirt of your dress, exposing your loincloths.
You gasped when Marcus pushed your underwear down to your knees slowly, his fingertips dragging along your velvety skin.
“I just know you’re gonna take me so well, mel (honey),” he purred in your ear, cupping your naked buttocks. “So, so well.”
The side of his hand slid across the fold between your ass cheeks until it found the dampness you harboured for him.
Marcus groaned in your ear, and you reciprocated, his touch so welcomed your clit twitched in response.
“Marcus, please,” you implored, eyes shut and mouth agape.
“I know, mel, I know.”
His clothes rustled behind you and knew he was naked from the waist down. Tempted, you looked over your shoulder just to confirm your suspicion, and your knees almost gave way. Pearls of precum topped the plump head of his throbbing cock, his hand holding it from the base.
As beautiful and tempting as last night, his dick twitched in need. Marcus stroked himself in a feeble attempt to calm himself. Leaned towards you, his lips nipping the crook of your neck, his beard tickling your sensitive skin, and you whined in desperation.
Guiding his thudding cock between your thighs, you felt it drag across your seeping furrow, wetting himself with your slick. The warm touch of his shaft along your puffy lips made you moan uncontrollably, back arched and your butt pressing onto his lower tummy.
“Shh, shh, it’s okay, sweetheart. I’m going to feed it to you slowly,” he husked, voice raspy with want.
You wept some more, his cock sliding through your seam easily and freely. His mushroom head hitched on your clit, and then slipped back down to your entrance, catching too. Marcus pushed in ever so slightly, just half an inch, and your head tilted back, resting on his shoulder.
Another half an inch and then you felt it: the trained reaction of your inner walls clutching, not wanting to let him in. Years of abuse had taught your body to put up a fight, to squeeze your hole shut so your late husband wouldn’t hurt you.
You fought with yourself, asking your pussy to let Marcus in, as he intruded another inch.
He felt your hesitation, your inner struggle.
“Relax, columba, you’re too tight,” he groaned behind you, one hand sliding across your hip to your belly and diving between your thighs. Two of his thick fingers caressed your clit, the flick of them over your bundle of nerves softening your body. “That’s it, sweetheart, relax. I got you.”
Your inner walls loosened up ever so slightly as Marcus rocked his hips back and forth behind you, fucking you with just his tip. Easing his way in, helping you calm down as only his throbbing, leaking head pumped in and out of you. He was only feeding you a couple of inches, your pussy hugging him extremely tight as he did.
“Too damn tight,” he whispered, and you knew he was grasping for control, the pulsing of his cock rhythmic with the gentle petting of his fingers on your clit.
“Marcus, I can’t—”
Perhaps the trauma your husband had inflicted upon you reached further down than you thought. What a fucking moment to realise that.
“Shhh, it’s fine, it’s okay, mel. I’m more than happy with just the tip for now,” he reassured you, soothing your nerves. “Anything you give me willingly, I’ll take.”
True to his word, Marcus kept on fucking you with just the first two inches of his thrumming dick while his fingers worked your clit with expertise. Not too long after, your felt that burning, coiling sensation converging in your swollen pussy again, your cunt smothering Marcus’ tip even more.
“Oh, fuck, melculum (my little honey)… Come for me again, yes, come all over me,” he moaned in your ear.
At his command, you let go. A rush of liquid fire lapped at your pussy, then leaked over Marcus’ erection as you shrieked. Gathering your ridden-up skirt around your waist, Marcus wrapped one of his strong arms around you to keep you standing on your feet, rutting into to shallowly so he wouldn’t feed you more than two inches.
His cock pulsed hard in your entrance, a gruffy groan rumbling in his chest, almost tearing his throat apart. Marcus pulled back quickly, leaving you empty, and the tip of his cock rested on your left buttock as he jerked off.
A minute later, his warm white seed sticked to the skin of your round globe, dripping to the floor when it got to the cliff of your ass cheek.
Marcus kissed the back of your neck, both of you breathless and sweaty.
The first time you both found relief, together.
“You’ve done so well, mel,” he lauded you again, pulling your loincloth up.
You felt exhilarated, high and fucked out. Numb and spent. Satisfied.
You hoped he was too. He hadn’t been able to bury himself deep down in you, but you hoped you had been enough.
All the bravado you had showed him so far faded, a carefully built façade, and you felt slightly insecure with what had just happened.
“Marcus, I—”
Suddenly, the door to the garderobe swung open.
Marcus reacted quickly, pressing you against the wall some more and his hand placed against the wall, his arm blocking your face from the sight of the unwanted guest. His entire body along with the darkness shielded you from being recognised.
“Oh, Ò DHÌOL (oh my god)! Tha mi duilich (I’m sorry), General, tha mi cho duilich! (I’m so sorry),” you identified Brighid’s panicky voice and even though you couldn’t see her, you knew she blushed.
Then the door slammed shut.
Both of you started laughing.
@orcasoul @immyowndefender @sjc7542 @fairiebabey
@thepalaceofmelanie @harriedandharassed @whoaitspascal87
@verybigvag @jessthebaker @ivoryandflame @missadangel
@pepperstories @mewantpeepaw @inept-the-magnificent
#fic: acta non verba#marcus acacius#general marcus acacius#marcus acacius x oc#marcus acacius x reader#marcus acacius x you#marcus acacius x female reader#general acacius x you#general acacius x reader#marcus acacius fanfiction#marcus acacius fic#gladiator#gladiator au#gladiator 2#gladiator 2 fanfiction#marcus acacius smut#smut#gladiator 2 fic#pedro pascal#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal character#pedro pascal fandom#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal fic#pedro pascal smut#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal cinematic universe#pedro pascal x you#enemies to lovers#scotland
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guys im going crazy with the edits over here (im sure this has been done with this song before but idc i wanted to)
also guys im going to include the rambling in the actual edit post this time because i actually cannot contain myself . (i went on and on for this one i had a lot of thoughts )
OK BIG ONE COOL ONE WHEN IT SAYS "I'm a worthless human being" there is an overlay during the word "worthless" of the prison scene and the word worthless is layed over sherbert's forehead, think of it like the word worthless and failure going hand in hand because icarus doesn't belive they are worth anything if they are not useful and they cannot be useful if theyre a failure which they wholeheartedly believe they are THATS IT THATS MY FAVORITE PART OF THIS EDIT (not really but shshshshs)
ok back to being in order
"I had left you" and "I forgave you" being right next to each other is SO PERFECT because that part is referencing the cave obviously and immediately after centross dies icarus is like 'get the fuck away from me why did you do that, holy shit you were gonna kill me' and then he tells them he can bring centross back and they immediately forgive him (and its not rlly great editing wise cause obviously theres not much contrast between the clips but the sacrifices we make are very small)
"I forgot you" this line is kinda hard to understand how ive coded it cause centross is on the screen so it kinda makes it seems like im saying they forgot centross but NO! they forgot about fable, they were so focused on bringing centross back that they completely lost sight of fable and his actions and how that hurt everyone around them
then the "said you loved me" I LOVE PUTTING VOICELINES IN EDITS CHAT. I LOVE IT SO MUCH AHHHH. i love when the words and they go together and theyre similar and i go crazy . im knawing at the bars of my enclosure
(i was going to put a voicline of fable's 'you will not survive' from cathedral of war in this part, but only chose not too cause it made the audio too chaotic but its still the clip from when he said that so just KNOW) i really love the "said you'd kill me" part. it just looks really cool to me, please appreciate my work thank you goodnight <3
THE WHOLE NEXT PART. THE BEAT DROP IF YOU WILL.
the text is all shaky, the way ive always imagined this part of the song in my brain is like full mental breakdown, hands pulling at hair hitting at your head . theres something inside of you and you want it OUT and you will hurt yourself to makes that happen . so thats kind of the vibe i wanted to portray, however . im not that skilled and capcut only has so many free text effects so . we make do. i also couldn't put that effect on all the text because for it to look right i couldn't use an 'in' animation for the text so having all of it just appear looked kind of weird so i had to comprimise a little
also the font is called "honest" which . if you know me i love putting subliminal messaging in my font usage when i can which i managed to do a couple times in this edit actually. the font is very jagged which fits for the idea of someone who's reaching their breaking point and all the rotation and bold and italics are all just thrown around there. making em all look interesting . for *flavour*
the other font that's got a cool title and this one i actually only picked because of the title and that's "innocent" its used in a lot of frames like "you possessed me", "you controlled me" and "or he'll hurt me" all times, the word 'me' uses the innocent font, because with the song it sounds like icarus is trying to remove any of the blame from themself, it was fable's fault because he manipulated me i didn't do anything wrong. so they see themself as 'innocent' which is also why that text is yellow cause its about icarus. i wouldn't have used that font if not for the title icl. but it also makes the times when that font isn't used all the more interesting, this can be seen most notably in "said you'd kill me", and both of the times in the "he's still speaking, speaking for me" parts , and i will let you cook on that cause not everything needs to be explained in great detail as much as id like to do that
most of the fonts at this one were just me throwing shit at a wall and seeing what fit the vibe ill be so fr, i knew i wanted a lot of variation cause its a chaotic sounding song and the colours also have very little thought when it comes to the difference between white/yellow/red for the most part . green is for fable and purple is just whatever the fuck i felt like .
final thing i'm going to say when it goes "i'm a [worthless human being" there is no text on that part and i just want it to be known on the record that it wasn't an accident and it was an aethetic choice and i can't come up with a bullshit important reason for why there's no text on the screen for that SINGLE PART and honestly it just looked so shit with text there but it also looks so out of place with it being the only part but im sure many of you didn't even notice there wasnt text there before i pointed it out so . i can also point out all the slightly off timings for you if you wanna see my creation through my critical self-loathing eyes /silly
#embers going at it with the thoughts ive been writing this for#ALMOST FORTY MINUTES ????? OMg-#im so normal about thoughts and feelings and edits#underscore.text#ember.edits#fable smp#icarus morningstar
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ive been following ur blog for years and id like to say ive always loved your art, always loved ur analysis and ur music links as well. i own a toh print you made which is actually the only fandom print ive ever bought lol. anyways, this is all to say youve got some casual fans who hope youre doing well, and i truly dont understand why anyone would be so mean online about whatever some weirdos r mad at u abt. u dont have to post this or anything just wanted to say stay strong KeepUrPeace and have a happy holiday! (also: i really love ur OCs and their stories, so if you ever made a webcomic or something similar, id be super interested in reading/buying/supporting that. you have a very unique style and its hard to find stuff that scratches the same itch it does. of course ur health comes first so no rush or anything on that just... u know.)
oh my goshhh thank you so much.. this is one of the sweetest things anyone ever said to meh .. i really appreciate it T_T i want to share my work .. i really really want to share my work so badly. i will continue to do so for as long as i still know people like you want to see it, your kindness fuels me to continue forward despite all my worries.
#talking#thank you#genuinely very touched by all this .. started crying again#it feels like ive been crying for a whole month haha
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im having. thoughts.
#brrr personal#where is the thinking emoji when you need it#🤔🤔🤔🤔#hmmm………….#am i. losing my sense of self again. or just exploring?#i dont know im scared. im scared ill fall into the same trap again#comphet just creeps up on you#i guess i could just be exploring my gender expression#which was something ive been wanting to do but#hmmmmmmm#hmmm i dont know#i donttty knowwwww
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ultimately i think my insistence on aro positivity honestly is as much a political stance as a personal one.
when i say aro positivity is crucial and that i dislike doomer-ist posts that express sentiments like 'I hate being aro so much I wish I was dead instead’ it's not because I don’t think there can and should be a space for negativity and acknowledging self-hate, or the many ways being aromantic can really suck sometimes. i find that to be very important!
that being said. there is smth here about how self-hate posts are sometimes just arophobia that we inflict on ourselves. and when we put that out into the ether it (intentionally or not) can become arophobia that we inflict on other members of the community. i think there absolutely needs to be a place for negativity and the expression of anger and frustration and self loathing even - these are all good things to talk about because these are things that we experience. that being said, it can also be genuinely upsetting and triggering to people to have what is essentially arophobia shown to them and then have that be validated by other aspec people. your personal thoughts can affect your wider community on a level you may not anticipate. and i understand it i truly do! it took me so long to be able to recover from accepting being aroace - it threw my entire world off kilter and made me question everything about my place in the world.
but my insistence on aro joy and positivity is because ultimately i do believe that building is at the core essence of it all. that ultimately discussions and the purpose of community should be about construction, not destruction. and this is both a personal and a political stance. talking about how much you hate yourself and cultivating online discussions/spaces where negativity about aspec identity is the main and only theme is destructive - if that’s where we let the conversation end. these thoughts can and should be used as a vehicle to look for a path forward!
joy and positivity create a space where the focus can become on forging a path forward, on construction, on community building instead of tearing ourselves and others down with negative thoughts. it’s not productive or healthy when it stops at a place of negativity - it becomes actively destructive to the essence of community.
and i do think that this is especially poignant considering the fact that being any kind of queer, but especially aromantic (and/or asexual) means forging a path for yourself and making your own happiness where there is no obvious way forward. our communities exist mostly online (right now, anyway), there is little recognition of our existence in the real world, the effects of amatonormativity are both pervasive and actively dehumanising, and there are legal, economic and social structures in place actively making our lives more difficult. yes that all sucks! it’s good to acknowledge that. we need to in order to change it. but more importantly, that’s not the end. we are still here and our happiness, our future is for us to determine. even if we can’t change the laws or society, loving yourself and understanding aromanticism as a political identity (as well as personal), as a radical worldview, and as a protest against amatonormativity is essential for both community and personal well being. the personal is political.
tldr. i guess my point is that as a community, we should focus on building, improving, and nurturing ourselves and each other (construction) as opposed to destruction. we should recognise aromanticism and asexuality as political identities as well as personal ones and rely on community and self-love in the absence of anything else as a form of protest and political power. destruction (the recognition of everything that is wrong) is essential as a starting point - but where do we go from there? we rebuild.
#aromantic#aro positivity#aspec#aroace#aro#aromantic joy#arospec#when i saw its important to 'love' yourself - pls understand i am in no way trying to exclude loveless aros from this#that was just the easiest way to express what i meant! when i say 'love' i mean positivity/respect/happiness. etc. i just used that word bc#it works for ME which is why i said it. but feel free to replace it with whatever works for you! <2#also sorry if not everything im saying makes total sense i tried my best#this is something ive been thinking about for a while and have been struggling to articulate#i maybe should have read some theory for this abt community building but im too tired + overwhelmed w school reading right now so sorry.#if anyone has additions on that front though please do add them#also ngl im kinda scared to post this. i hope i explained what i mean well enough. like i get wanting to vent and express self hate BUT.#there is nuance to this and it is not unilaterally healthy i think. also i dont see any other online community fostering the normalisation#of selfhate the way the aspec one does! which makes me feel weird abt it especially.#anyway. this is basically my personal philosophy towards aromanticism#mossy posts#⚙️
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the mighty nein - critical role
this is a place where i don't feel alone. this is a place where i feel at home.
#also with softer vibes. i offer They#every silly little brainheart found family deserves a to build a home edit#the mighty nein maybe most of all. thats my family#also the lyrics deliciously well suited to m9.#when jester pulls that. stupid tarot card for fjord. home or traveler. and there's a carnival wagon. and veth says Thats Us! . them#i just think about . the tower is their home the xhorhouse is their home the lavish chateau is their home the balleater. the mistake.#the nein heroez. veth and yezas apartment. the dome. fjord and jesters living room floor.#a bar with a silly name on rumblecusp#also like. the song has stone and dust imagery. gardens and trees.#the inherent temporality of life and love and how that holds no bearing on how greatly people can love. im losin it okay.#ive been making this edit for days straight with my computer screaming at me for trying to shove 143 episodes of cr into a 2min20sec video.#crying becuase. theyre a family do you get it. they were nine lonely people and most of them had given up on seeing their own lives#as something that might be good. something that might make the world a better place. and in the end they're heroes.#and it doesn't matter if no one else knows because They know they're heroes. and they wouldn't've believed that was true when they met.#rattling the bars of my enclosure. to be loved is to be changed#posted on twitter and want to get in the habit of posting here too bc.#general reasons but also bc . i have noticed some of the ppl liking/sharing it are also ppl who shit on my ops by vaguing about my posts#which is in general whatever but does leave a funny taste in my mouth.#critical role#the mighty nein#cr2#caleb widogast#caduceus clay#jester lavorre#fjord#veth brenatto#yasha nydoorin#beauregard lionett#mollymauk tealeaf#my posts
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Idk who needs to hear this but time and time again isn't over!!!
Webtoon removed the "time and time again will return!!!" Banner and I don't know why, but it's not over!!! There's still another 1/3 of the comic to go! There's a lot more stuff that I'm working on and it'll be coming back soon!
Please be patient with me, I know it's been a long time... But the stuff I'm making is really good and there's a lot of reasons it's taken this long. I promise I want it back more than anyone.
I'm trying to come back around the end of October. I'm doing my best to get everything ready in time, so no promises, but I'm on track to do so! I'm just one person writing and drawing everything, and my editor was fired so I'm not even getting any notes anymore. It's literally just me. I'm doing my best I promise!
#im so frustrated that banner has been gone#and people think the comic is over because of that#which is reasonable to think#but it... idk#its already an uphill battle to try snd retain audience after a hiatus this long#let alone when webtoon is actively building thr expectation that theres no need to come back...#im so frustrated#every day there is something new with them its so exhausting#this isnt even the thing I've been majorly stressed about this is a fresh new frustration#i feel like they're not just being unhelpful#at this point i feel like theyre actively sabotaging my career.#im not allowed to promote my books#i can't make my links too big so no one can find me#people dont even know i have a patreon#i can't make any announcements on the comic#and now people think th whole thing is over and it isnt!#im so ;_;#im so frustrated and demoralized#and people complete reasonably are losing patience and interest#and. ah... it's fine. like genuinely it is fine.#it will come back soon and i am doing a good job#and everyone who sees it's back will be happy with what ive done#cause it's good. its really good...#but. yeah. idk. webtoon has been actively keeping me down since the beginning and im so over them#I've been so mistreated aysudjejjdjdjdj#i just want to finish the series and go ;_;#taking all my power to not **** ******#just gotta power through and get the fuck out#text post#update
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ep 43 had me tearing up in a fucking shopping centre ‼️‼️
b+w alt version that I truly couldn't decide if I liked it more . Also I included a lot of thoughts in the tags but they're somewhat incoherent<3
#i dont know what i expected but i was waiting for a friend and too excited to wait until later#malevolent podcast#john doe#john doe malevolent#john malevolent#malevolent fanart#grimm art#ep 43#ep 43 left me with a lot of thoughts ... i didnt quite like how much of a recap it felt like at times but that might#be because ive been relistening and like yeah everyone knows that john 🙄 but that's not the case for everyone and with monthly uploads#things get forgotten easily#i find the discussion of “humanity” so interesting because John has shown that without someone that he has forcibly grown to value as an#equal... something he cannot do as the king of yellow as he is superior to all of his realm and presumably stays out of other elder god's#anyway. without that equality and enviroment to grow he fails to reach his goal of compassion and falls onto old ways.#John. The King in Yellow. shown by both times each has found themselves in human form do not just crave power and influence!!!#THEY CRAVE COMMUNITY!!! an endrich being not born or raised with nothing but power and ego#CRAVES COMMUNITY.#His goal of “humanity” is not a selfless goal like John projects - it is ultimately somewhat selfish as he does not want to be alone!!#which makes this desire so much more human#i don't know maybe this is just me spelling out whats already there but the way john and the witch argued about humanity frustrated me#it felt like they were missing the point or that perhaps the “good/evil” “black/white” retoric was already realised by me and john needed#realise it himself . which is fair !!!#i dont know!!!!#the witch was talking about how bad everyone was and how humanity is cruel and john was talking about Lily (#who also frustrates me how shes used in the plot somewhat she was literally just a nurse doing her job bro#) but to John - yes internally he is struggling with his moral greyness and im so proud of him for growing being himself SO PROUD#JUST.!!! he wants community. he needs community. he loves his friend. 'humanity' at its core does not matter as long as you try to be bette#and i think thats awesome and i really enjoyed the episode#guhh im rambling enjoy my tag rambling i dont know i want john to have more friends :(#yorrick can be another friend godd i love you yorrick so silly
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ultimately!
#ELIIIIIIII YOU CANT SAY THAT ELIIIIIIIIIIII#audiof from not even emily latest video go watch literally its so fuckingfunny#dont even ask me how eli fits in hance' 5'2 dad's clothes pls ok#my art#digital art#oc art#anthro art#not even gonna lie i thfought i wasnt gonan finish this but we pulled thru#if quality gets murdered i will cry#swhy are all my favorite drawings baby sugar and eliyah interacting#i like themb#i was gonna add fucking comical cartoon slipping noises when her antler popped off but imovie literalsly. it didnt work it wpuldnt let me#vid too biggy#also noahs ark esque announcement for ppl thta read my evil ramble tags i miiight nuke sanguinary univers bc i love my ocs too much to like#like i dont wanna marry my first idea and i love them too much to box them into a project I PERSONALLY FEEL LIKE I FUMBLED LIKE#OK LITERALLY NO INSULT WHATSOEVER TO ANYONE WHO MIGHT LIKE IT BUT IT WAS my firsy ever comic and i feeeeel like i can do betteeerrr a#meowweooww#like if it was small things i wanted to change i could juts panel edit but its like. major things like when i started chapter 1 i had#LITERALLY NO PLAN JUST MY nerdy vampire obsession. which is still present. giggle h#breaking news boygirl learns that they arent rlly proudof the writing in comic thye started when they were a teenager#ALSO I LITERALLY HAVE LORE THAT IVE. BEEN MAKING THAT CONTRADICTS THINGS (? PROBABLY) SO ok trust me ok just trust m#also yes this is what i’ve been working on except that animatsuon i mentioned with eli crying because priorities or someth#not except wtf i mean insyead or some other shit#also i just looked at this wall of text on mobile and like ew shut up little gay
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Surprise! This cat is transgender
#big the cat#sth#sth fanart#my art#doodles#big#in my heart i know big would be non-op. but i also just wanted to draw top surgery scars big#lately ive only been able to draw at UNGODLY hours of the night. something makes it easier to just Do things (sleep deprivation) (bad)#anywayays. sooo messy but having fun with it which is the important part#headcanons are inconsistent most of the time but know that whenever i draw a character there is ALWAYS a baseline level of gender fuckery#including froggy. that thang got shrimp genders
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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles
#dragon age tag#i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below#weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type#it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me#if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year#almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol#tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3#and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me#but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me#sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points#witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too#which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3#my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free#Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...
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zonked out on the dog bed snoring up a storm. you come over and rub the soft spot on the top of my nose. i let out the most contented sigh
#blllllaggggh busiest doggy everyday of my life and i am exhausted#ye beware of sadposting ahead. more like just need to get thoughts out of my headposting yk. im ok just tired#friend said to me today 'youre always doing something these days jasper when do you rest?'#and i was like huh good question! i dont hahaha. damn#which is not a bad thing always. but my plate is incredibly full and i have no one to help me#im in a really good place. things are happening that ive wanted to happen for years. but i have no time to take care of me#and the ppl who are supposed to take care of me dont. and they let me down everytime i try to ask for it. which im used to#but it doesnt make it any easier. theres just not enough hours in the day and not enough energy in my little doggy body#i used to be able to push myself past the wall of exhaustion. but after my therapy program ik i just can not do that anymore#im really proud of myself. being an adult is hard. im doing everything right. but i just wish i had someone by my side to help me#anyways.#i am a very good boy#yapping#if youre reading this hi im just venting im fine. its just been a long day and i want someone to give me a head massage#jasperbarks
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The Sheep in Wolf's Clothing Onia Dhithos - -
"I will pull at my horns and bruise my flesh until I am born anew, my chest is too warm, I spew warm honey where I want muck. tar. I want to bear the teeth that my father and mother bore. These teeth are not sufficient. I want a bite, and I want it to be more than my words. I want to bite. I want to be the Wolf."
- -
[ Alt. ver. under the cut ] B/As
#TheWolf:OniaD*#Sheep:OniaD#ts4#ts4 render#ts4 simblr#sims 4#sims 4 simblr#sims 4 render#simblr#render#blender render#idk i forgot how this whole tagging system thing works with original content LMFKDSJH its been a hot minute#uhhhhmmmmm yea eat up i guess. Onia Dhithos introduction. Ive been wanting to introduce her for a longgg time but#never had a render idea for her (or at least I did but it never looked good shdghs)#also if u cant tell (prolly cant) shes literally bent backwards upside down in the first/last pose AHGSHA so yea shes in a freak ass pose r#Onia is def one of my favs but is criminally underrated/not talked abt enough (which is my fault LMFAOOO)#welp time to go back into creative hibernation for the next *checks watch* foreseeable future#I WAS gna try and do something else but google drive fucking hates me >:T#this is def gna flop but whatevs SJHGDHSJ its kinda cringe and simple anyways but i. love Onia. so its worth it. ig? 😭
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