#i dont know im scared. im scared ill fall into the same trap again

[butchgodot]

im having. thoughts.

[barnes-n-nobles]

Attention (SMUT)

Request: Smut. Bucky gets jealous of her for getting too close to his friend Steve. So he punishes her 🍆🤤

Sorry for the delay! Here it is and I hope you enjoy! Let me know what y’all think!

You and Bucky had been invited to Tony Starks birthday party tonight. In most cases you would have an outfit ready, but Bucky wanted to dress you today. You thought it was the cutest idea ever and you let him choose for you. He came out of your closet with a beautiful black dress , that had a slit on the side. He got you this as a gift during the first month that you guys started dating. You were saving it for a special occasion so you were a little shocked that he would bring it out for today’s birthday party. Your eyebrows slightly bunched together in confusion as Bucky laid it on your bed.

“Why that dress for today babe? It’s just Tony’s birthday, not the met gala” you chucked. Buckys metal hand traced the side of the dress and smiled at the thought of seeing your body in this sexy dress. “I just want to show off my beautiful girl. Plus, my tux is all black as well. You know how I love matching with you” he smiled as he went to place a soft kiss on your lips.

You nodded in agreement , taking the dress off the bed and walking into the bathroom to change. “I just hope this dress doesn’t get ruined like my last one…” you sighed smiling at the memory that started to form in your mind. “What do you mean, Doll?” Bucky asked curiously.

“One day, Steve and Thor got so drunk at Natashas party that they started having “cake wars” and I made the huge mistake of trying to take the cake away from them and Steve threw a handful of cake at me, while he was trying to get Thor. I was so mad because the dress I got for that day was super nice but I had to get rid of it…it was way too stained” you stated as you slid yourself into your dress.

Bucky rolled his eyes at the sound of Steves name leaving your lips. Him and Steve had some unspoken tension between them that always puzzled you. Little did you know, Steve wanted you for himself but Bucky moved way too fast and was able to cuff you up before Steve even thought about it. Bucky and him were inseparable but once they both realized they were after the same girl, they both got distant. Bucky loved his friend but he always got everything. The fame, love, praise, recognition. He wasn’t going to let him get you though, because you belonged to him. Only him.

“He better not start his shit or I’m going to fuck him up” he spat. “Bucky, you’re not an angel when you get drunk either you get pretty angry AND / OR get into fights with everyone. “ Bucky knew that he had to tame his demons when he was around you just because he didn’t want to scare you off, but it’s been getting harder and harder to control it as men had gotten a bit too brave around you. Bucky wasn’t the type of shy off when something made him mad.

~~~~Later that night~~~~

You and Bucky walked into Tonys home and it never failed to amaze you how beautiful his house was. You hope to one day share a home with Bucky. One where you could one day raise a family of pets and eventually even kids. He noticed you were busy thinking about something so he nudged you to bring you back from your daydreams. “What’s wrong Doll? You seem distracted.” asking with a little scrunch of his eyebrows. “Oh it’s nothing just thinking about this huge-“ You we’re cut off by a familiar voice. “Y/n, Bucky, so glad you guys could make it. You’re only like 1 Hr late but who’s keeping track.” You all chuckled and said happy birthday to Tony. “Come join us, the food just got served”. As you walked into his lavish dining area you said hi to everyone and sat down on the 2 remaining seats. Steve was on your right and Bucky on your left. He soon started to talk to Sam who’s was next to him. “Hey y/n…I haven’t seen you in a while. How’s it going?” Steve asked you giving you a quick hug. You thought that Bucky would have turned around or at least notice but he was too busy joking with Sam.

“Hey Steve it has been a while. Just going through life, you know.” You smiled warmly.

“I feel you. It’s so good to see you. Your little boyfriend likes to keep you all to himself huh?” He asked softly so that only you could hear him. You just smiled and shook your head side to side, not wanting to answer. Steve was always a flirt you thought, but in reality he liked to push your buttons to see your pretty little face flush. After dinner you all moved to Tonys living room, everyone consumed in their own conversations. Bucky was next to you the whole night , making sure you were having a good time as well. “I’m going to go upstairs real quick, Tony is needing a hand with one of his “toys”. I’ll be right back Doll” he said placing a kiss on your cheek. You nodded and decided to pick up your phone to check up on any notifications you had.

Steve gulped down his drink from across the room as he saw Bucky leave your side finally. He started to approach you as soon as he was out of sight. “All alone?” He asked looking down at your small frame. Your eyes snapped up to see Steve standing in front of you. “ For now, Bucky is out doing something “ you said looking in the direction that he walked “May I sit?” He asked with a smirk. You nodded and scooted over. You and Steve started having a nice conversation and got all caught up with eachothers lives. He brought you some drinks to loosen you up and they seemed to be working perfectly as you started to feel a bit more chill and relaxed. Steve laid his arm over the top of the couch and scooted closer to you, making your face turn hot but the closeness. Steve leans over close to your ear and whispered “You look absolutely stunning. Tell Bucky to bring you around me a little more, hun. I’m sure he’s the sharing type.” You knew he was getting a little too comfortable due to the drinks he’s been having but you tried not to make a big deal. “Steve, please.” you warned wanting him to know there was line he was approaching and that he hould not cross. “Please what y/n…. I never see you and I know for a fact it’s because of Bucky. I’m also your friend and I want to be around you and in your life. Don’t you want that?” You turned your face around to get a bit of separation. But then he used his thumb and index finger to turn your face towards him. “Well?”. You didn’t know what to say so you stayed silent just looking down. Steve was irritated and he let go. Standing up looking down at you. “When you make your own decisions, you know where to find me” he said turning around but then suddenly he bumped into a strong chest. Your eyes shot up and you were frozen.

There he was, his chest falling up and down in absolute anger. Looking straight into Steve’s eyes. “Get out of my face Buck.” Steve said in a low tone. Bucky didn’t say a word, his nose flaring and his chest rose and fell slowly with anger. His metal arm rapidly grabbed his throat. “DONT ever touch her again. I’ll fucking kill you” and with that he threw him across the room by his neck, hitting some tables and chairs as he fell to the ground. Everyone snapped their attention over to you guys a few gasps and screams erupting. You quickly stood up and got in front of Bucky, placing your hand on his bicep as if it would calm him down. “Please Bucky, stop...” you said looking over at Steve who was surrounded by people as they tried to help him up. Tony and Sam went over to you guys to make sure that Bucky wouldn’t escalate this any further. “Bucky, you need to control yourself. This isn’t the time nor place. “ Sam said turning to look at Steve who was now up and getting held back and talked to by Thor and Vision. “Jesus Christ Barnes, you could have at least given me some time to pull out my phone to record that.” Tony said making Bucky snap out of his trance and you could see a small smile starting to form. Sam rolled his eyes and shook his head. “But yes..like Sam said. Not the time and definitely not the place. Pepper is going to kill me. “ as he looked at the broken table. “Sorry Tony, we’re just going to head out. I promise we’ll pay for that” you stated pulling Bucky away.

As you guys were heading to the entrance of the house, Bucky quickly pulled you into a near by room and locked the door behind him. You almost got whiplash at how fast he got you in there. “what the fuck were you doing with Steve, why did you let him get that close to you.” His big broad frame towered over you. “I didnt...well.. I dont know he was just sitting there and he got so close, i felt so trapped I didnt know what to do. “ you explained not knowing what to say to not make him more mad. “you know i dont fucking like him, why would you even entertain him? Do I need to brainwash you to never speak to anyone else but me... Hmm?’‘ he said pinning you to a nearby wall and pressing his body up against you. You didnt know if the drinks finally got to you or what, but you were feeling all tingly inside. Absolutely loving Buckys dominance. “or do you just want some attention. Because ill give you all the attention in the world Doll...but you'll only get it from me...no one else.” he whispered into your face.His lips brushing lightly over yours. You let out a little moan, his words going straight into your pussy. “I just need yours. You know that” you purred leaning in for a kiss. Bucky pulled away looking at your beautiful eyes, filling up with want and lust. “ Im going to show you that you only belong to me, and Ill make you crave only me and my attention. now turn over” he said giving you a quick kiss. 

You obediently turned and he started to slide your panties down. Buckys hands started to roam your body, his metal arm stopping at your clit. “I need you to be quiet for me Doll. Can you do that?” he said as his hard cock was grinding on your ass. “Yes, Sargent Barnes” you moaned as his fingers started to play with your clit. “Fuck...sucha good girl”. When he felt that you were wet enough he grabbed your hair and shoved you down onto a nearby dresser, earning a gasp from you. He pulled himself out and pulled up your dress, giving you a nice hard slap on your ass making you whine. “You had your fun with that imbecile “ he said as he aligned his throbbing cock at your entrance. “now its time for me to punish you like a whore for talking to him. “ and with that he rammed inside of you, letting out an animalistic growl at your tightness. Your moans ripped through your throat as he started to pump himself inside of you, with out much gentleness. His metal hand quickly went to your mouth, muffling your beautiful sounds. “Shh babygirl..cant let anybody else hear”. He thrusted into you hard and fast, making you see stars and your mewls restrained by his cold hand. Your wetness soon started to drip down your leg. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, feeling nothing but pure pleasure and bliss. Buckys arm went down to your neck and he pulled you up, making you arch your back. He leaned down looking at your fucked out face while he stuffed you full of his cock over and over again. He started to have a hot sloppy make out session with you, moaning into your mouth and you doing the same. Tongues interwoven into each other.

Bucky grunted your name, standing upright one more time. He grabbed your hips and started to fuck into you harder, his head snapping back as he was so close. “fuck im going to cum inside you Doll…Tell me who you belong to y/n..” he growled. “Y-you Bucky...only you Sergeant Barnes.” you moaned. Thats all it took for him to finally cum. His thrusts got sloppy as he spilled inside you. His cock twitching inside with each pause he took. He smiled as he pulled out, watching his cum spill down your leg. He pulled you up and gave you a passionate kiss. “dont worry Doll. We have much more to do at home. This was just a warm up, I’m going to give you orgasms after orgasms and you’re going to take it and enjoy it”

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 15

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.3k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: i hope you like this chapter? i know. slow burn. im testing your patience. and im loving the sexual tension, dont you? :P

also, if you like this story you may want to read the few blurbs i wrote about it. ill probably write more but here are the few already written

Niall & Liv (fetus) - FLUFF

Louis & Liv - FLUFF

Niall & Liv - SMUT & FLUFF

Liv & Heidi - ANGST

if you read, THANK YOU!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : added a few! spoilers!

Chapter 15 : His chapter

NIALL

When I woke up the next day, I' was reluctant to open my eyes, scared that my head would just explode due to all the alcohol I had swallowed in the past two days but really, the first thing that I caught was Liv's scent. My lips curled and I groaned low, pulling her closer to me and burring my face in her hair. I tried to remember every single detail of what happened the night before and smiled more, wrapping one of my legs around her.

"Mm," she whimpered, slowly waking up too. "What time is it?"

"I don't know, I haven't opened my eyes yet."

Somehow, in the middle of the night, she had moved around and we were spooning again. I could feel my half-erected cock press on her ass and without thinking, I ground against her, making it swell a bit more. She squirmed a bit and I brushed my lips on the back of her neck before hearing her chuckle.

"Move away, Horan, this is way past the friendship stage."

I laughed and she sat up before stretching. I watched her back as she did, leaning my head on my hand, and when she finally got up, my eyes traveled to her ass. She was wearing black panties, contrasting perfectly with the navy blue shirt she was wearing that belonged to me. I licked my lips, gripping the sheets tighter to resist the urge I had to pinch one of her butt cheeks but when she bent down to grab something on the floor, I groaned low and my hand quickly disappeared under the covers to grip my cock.

"Please don't do that." I asked in a low tone, making her turn her head my way and chuckle. "Not funny. Your body changed and i'm dying to touch it."

This time, she turned around and she raised her eyebrows, a smile still gracing her lips.

"You mean I gained weight?"

"Why do you say it like it's a bad thing?" I just asked, sitting up in bed and tilting my chin up to look at her. "Why is it such a big deal to you?"

She rolled her eyes and chuckled, moving her hair up in a ponytail and tying it quickly, letting her arms fall on each sides of her body. My eyes traveled quickly on her hips before moving back to her face.

"Because all the girls you date are literally half my weight, Niall." she pointed out, shaking her head slightly, her eyebrows still raised. "You clearly have a type."

I sighed and turned around in bed, moving myself to the edge of the bed and putting my feet on the floor, spreading my knees apart a bit.

"Come here." I asked with a quick head movement. "Please, Olivia, get closer."

She stared at me for a few seconds but finally moved closer, getting between my legs before I trapped her between my thighs and wrapped my arms around her, making her lips curl a bit more.

"There was this girl.. I dated her for almost a year, and I was, and still is, in love with her. And you know what she looked like? She looked exactly like you."

She laughed and shook her head as I leaned my chin on her stomach, looking up at her. The sight was amazing for some reason and the warmth of her thighs in between mine made me want her even more.

"Lucky girl, uh?" she joked with a smile, raising her eyebrows.

"I was just going to say that."

This time, she laughed louder and moved out of my embrace, turning around again. I watched her body and sighed before my eyes fell again on her tattoo, making my lips curl. I wanted to ask her how much her boyfriend enjoyed to fuck her from behind while my name was permanently on her lower back surrounded by a heart and in my own hand-writing, but I just pressed my lips together. The truth was, I didn't really care how that made him feel, but I loved to see that tattoo on her.

"When did you get the heart around my name? I don't remember seeing it while we were dating."

She stopped moving and it took her a while to turn around. Her smile was gone she started searching in her drawer for something. I looked at her the whole time, getting a bit nervous. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable but I was so curious I couldn't help but wait. I cracked my knuckles and she glanced at my hands before pressing her lips together and clearing her throat.

"The day you broke up with me." she confessed, making my lips part. "A few days before, you left me a note in the morning with a heart you had scribbled and the morning you broke up with me, I went with Louis to get it tattooed around your name. I had no idea it was the last note you'd write me, or that it was the last day I could call myself your girlfriend. I just... I couldn't resign myself to tattoo anything over it."

I didn't expect that answer and kept staring at her until she turned my way and sent me a sad smile. I pushed the covers off of me and got up slowly, walking up to her and wrapping my arms around her neck. I felt her arms slide around my naked chest and her head lean on my shoulder and I held her tight against me in silence for a few minutes, my cheek pressed on the top of her head. It broke my heart to know that while I was trying to find the right words to break up with her, she was getting tattooed a heart around my name and I closed my eyes, breathing her scent.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, squeezing her tighter against me and kissing her forehead. "I'm so sorry Olivia."

She rubbed her nose gently on my neck and I closed my eyes, enjoying the way her body seemed to fit perfectly with mine and her hands on my back. She pulled away and sniffed, making me frown when I realized she was crying and I cupped her face, running my thumbs on her cheeks gently, gathering her tears as I shook my head.

"I'm never gonna hurt you again." I whispered, my eyes roaming quickly on her face. "Never."

I let one of my thumbs rub on her bottom lip and I felt her tense as her hands slipped from my sides. I meant my words and at the same time, I was scared to hurt her by accident. It would be different this time, though, I could feel it. We both grew up and changed for the better, and I was ready to put all the efforts into this.

She blinked a few times and took a step back, tilting her head a bit and sending me a shy smile.

"Are you hungry? Coffee?" she proposed, raising her eyebrows as I nodded.

We walked to the kitchen and she turned on the coffee pot as I leaned against the counter just staring at her some more, barely believing what had happened between us.

"You can borrow some of Louis' sweatpants and shirt while I wash your clothes if you want." she proposed, walking by me as I stopped her with my arm.

"How about you give me my shirt back, first?"

This time, she laughed and raised her eyebrows at me, shaking her head.

"Just wait here." she added. "I don't think Louis would want you rummaging through his stuff."

I chuckled as she reached the hall and bent down to watch her leave.

"But he lets you?"

"What can I say?" she says a bit louder. "He trusts me!"

She came back quickly, pushing Louis' clothes against my chest and I smiled, taking it as her eyes dropped to my boxers.

"I'm gonna need that too if you want me to wash them." she pointed out with a smirk, making me send her one too.

I smiled more at her and wiggled my eyebrows before putting the clothes on the counter and quickly pulling my boxers down. Her smile fell but so did her gaze and I just took them off, handling them to her as she pressed her lips together, making me laugh.

"Stop staring." I let out with a chuckle, making her shake her head.

"You did that so I would stare, so let me stare."

I waited a few seconds and laughed a bit again.

"Is it exactly how you remember?"

It took her a moment but her eyes finally met mine.

"I remember it bigger." she joked with an amused smile, making me raise my eyebrows. "You're not gonna pretend it's a bit cold here will you?"

I smirked again and took a step closer as her own smile faltered again.

"It's as big as it was and I bet you remember really well."

I looked down in her eyes as she stood, unimpressed, right in front of me. She kept her gaze in mine, still smiling, and finally placed her hand on my chest, pushing me away slightly.

"Go shower and dress up." she just said, taking the boxers from my hands.

With an other laugh, I moved past her and walked in the bathroom, leaving the door open. It knew it was a long shot but I wouldn't want her to meet a closed door if she ever decided to join me. I knew she probably wouldn't, and I also knew it was wrong, but at the same time, it was hard to think about the consequences of our actions when it was just me and her, alone together. It always felt like we were in an other dimension or something crazy like that.

I got out quickly and dressed up before joining her again in the kitchen as I rubbed a towel in my hair. She was dressed too with a pair of pants and a t-shit that was not mine and when she turned around, I saw her lips were still curled in a smirk.

"What?"

"What did you do with them?" she asked, crossing her arms on her chest without losing her smile as I raised my eyebrows, a bit confused. "My underwear. My bra and my panties. You brought me my clothes that I had left at your place back but the bra and the panties are missing."

I felt my cheeks turn slightly red when I remembered what I did and scratched the back of my head as I cleared my throat.

"Well, look, this is a bit embarrassing but..." I shook my head and chuckled nervously. "I kept the panties. I mean, I didn't do anything with them. I thought about doing it but I decided that-"

"You thought about doing what with my panties exactly?" she asked with a frown, clearly pleased by how uncomfortable I was getting.

"I mean hey, can you blame a guy? You leave your panties right there, on the floor, in my house!" I tried to justify. "I haven't touched you in over a year and you drive me fucking insane, what was I supposed to do?"

This time, she burst into laughter and I closed my eyes, raising my nose up in a grimace.

"Shut up." I mumbled before letting out a groan. "I'll bring them back to you next time we see each other."

"No it's alright." she chuckled again. "Keep them, they're all yours. You can even start a collection if you want. I'll take the bra back though, these are fucking expensive."

I thought about something smart to answer when I just realized her request and frowned.

"I didn't see a bra... perhaps it got under the bed? I'll check and bring it back to you."

"After using it to masturbate?" she joked, letting out a laugh before I threw her the towel in my hands, making her laugh even more. "You're so fucking rude."

She picked the towel on the floor and walked up to me with a smile. It was crazy to realize how we had both been smiling almost non-stop since we woke up and I liked it. I liked to be the reason of her happiness or at least, one of the reasons.

"You smell good." she whispered, licking her lips as my gaze dropped to them. "I smell so bad." she added with a cute pout.

"Maybe you should take a shower too. And maybe I should go with you, you know, make sure you don't forget a spot."

She bit the left side of her bottom lip gently and got on her tiptoes, grabbing the front of my shirt as I bent down. I wanted to kiss her again. I wanted to lay her on the kitchen's table and fuck her quickly and roughly. I wanted to sit her on the counter and shag her until she'd scream. But if she just wanted me to kiss her, that would also be enough for me.

"It's not just sex, right?" she asked in a murmur as my lips were almost touching hers.

"Fuck no, it's not just sex." I whispered back, barely moving my lips. "It's also everything else."

Slowly, she nodded and I could swear I saw her eyes sparkle. I felt my heart jump in my chest and smiled more too, pressing my lips against hers. I was going to deepen the kiss but felt her move away and frowned until I realized her phone was ringing. I was so focused on kissing her that I noticed nothing around us. She ran to her phone and when she walked back to me, she was staring at her screen and I knew I wouldn't get to kiss her, at least not soon.

"It's Dylan. He messaged me to tell me he was coming back home this weekend." she explained without looking at me as she quickly typed something back.

"When am I going to see you again, Liv?"

This time, she licked her lips and looked up at me, her traits softening immediately.

"Soon. I promise."

                                                       ---

'Soon' turned out to be a few days later. The truth was, we spent our time texting each other and I wouldn't let go of my phone, not even to go to the bathroom. We teased each other, we laughed, sent ridiculous memes and sometimes, she'd even say that she missed me. We didn't talk about love, and we didn't mention feelings. All we did was reconnect as best friends through messages and it was fun. We still had inside jokes and things only the two of us could understand and that boosted the hope I had inside me to get her back at some point.

I stared at myself in the mirror before grabbing my wallet and keys and putting everything in my pockets. I decided to take a cab until the club and frowned when I finally stood in front of it. I was more of a pub guy but apparently, everyone wanted to go dancing tonight and I was not in the mood to stay home alone. Heidi had told me she would join us later and I knew she would since she was well aware that my ex girlfriend would be there too. I walked inside and noticed Olivia as soon as I let my eyes travel around the room. I walked to my friends who were laughing and noticed Julie moving closer to Liam, kissing his neck before bringing him to the dance floor. It made me chuckle and brought attention on me. Louis smiled widely and extended his hand to me as I gripped it and hugged him quickly, glancing at Liv who got up to greet me too. I kissed Eleanor's cheeks and did the same with her before she smiled at me. She was already tipsy, I could see it in her eyes and as usual, she was glowing.

"Did you see the puppy video I sent you?" she asked, making me laugh and nod. "I really want one!"

I opened my mouth to tell her we definitely could but closed it immediately again, sending her a smile. We couldn't get a puppy because we were not together and it was a real torture. I didn't really know where she stood and I thought asking her would ruin everything. Were we waiting for something and if we were, what was it?

"You're late, by the way." she pointed out, swallowing what was left in her glass before tilting her head. "And I really want an other drink?"

"You're the worst person for that, Olivia, you're always late, you can't bitch at me for this." I chuckled, shaking my head before taking the glass in her hand. "I'll buy you an other one."

"Or two!"

I chuckled and she followed me to the bar, leaning against the counter as I ordered. We waited for the drinks and I moved closer to her to make sure she heard me.

"I missed you."

She brought her hand on my cheek and brushed her fingertips on it, sending me a smile too.

"Me too, Nee."

I jumped slightly when I heard the barmaid and paid, handing her one of the shots I bought. She grabbed it from my hand quickly and swallowed it, putting the glass back on the counter with a thud and making me smirk. I did the same and finally pushed her drink on the counter as she thanked me. She sucked on the straw and her lips curled a bit.

"Are you gonna dance with me?"

I wanted to say no, that it was not my cup of tea, that I was never the type to dance in clubs, and that she obviously knew that, but the way she had raised her eyebrows and parted her lips made me want to say yes to whatever she was going to ask me.

"If you insist, I may."

"I'll insist, then." she chuckled. "Come on."

We walked back to the table and talked a bit with the others but it was not easy because of the loud music. I watched Eleanor pull Louis to the dance floor and when I turned again to Liv, she was smirking. She moved closer and gripped the front of my shirt, getting on her tiptoes again to bring her lips very close to my ear. I loved when she did that.

"I'm all alone tonight so you're my date." she told me, her lips brushing against my earlobe gently. "Make me dance."

I wanted to know who she used to dance with before she met her boyfriend and to how many of her dance partner she had given herself to but I swallowed my question knowing that jealousy was not a good way to get her back. Besides, I was not really sure I wanted to know and I didn't understand why I was so jealous suddenly but I couldn't pretend it was not bothering me a bit. Instead to let these thoughts invade me, I took one of her hands on my shirt and brought her to the dance floor, making her twirl around when we found a good spot. She laughed and ended up close to me, her arms around my neck as she started dancing. I loved the way she moved and for a few seconds I just stood there, motionless, looking at her hips sway. Her gaze met mine and she smiled more, licking her lips and showing me her finger, telling me to wait a minute. I decided to follow her since I felt a bit stupid waiting in the middle of the dance floor but she got back quickly as we both stood next to the bar. She placed herself in front of me and nibbled on her bottom lip, making my whole body throb. I could pretend it was because of the music and the atmosphere in the room but in reality, it was her. Only her.

She reached for my pants and I held my breath, not really knowing what she was going to do but she ended up pushing her hand in my right pocket as I frowned. As soon as she took her hand back, I put mine in my pocket too to find out what it was.

"You can add those to your collection." she just said, smiling more. "I just took them off in the washroom."

My fingers reached the fabric of her panties and my eyes got bigger at the thought. I imagined her pulling her panties down just to bring them to me and it made my heart skip a few beats, making me laugh again.

"Are you drunk?"

She shrugged. "Tipsy. But tipsy enough to dance with you very, very close."

I let her bring me back to the dance floor and this time, she pushed her back on my chest, bringing one of my hands around her. I loved feeling her body brush against mine and when she ground her ass against me, I let out a groan and decided to dance with her. I didn't really know how to move, I just followed her, trying not to get too horny from the way she was rubbing herself on me, and when I got out of my daydream, I realized someone had shouted something at us. Not many people had noticed because of the music but I looked up only to see my girlfriend standing there and the look she sent Olivia and I meant trouble.

"What the fuck is this?" she let out even louder, making Olivia take a step away. "He is not your boyfriend anymore, he's dating ME!"

Olivia frowned with a disgusted look and walked past Heidi, going back to the table.

I sighed and followed her as Heidi did the same and when we got there, everyone else was also back. Louis had ordered more drinks and he was lighting up a cigarette when Heidi started yelling again. He stopped moving completely and raised his eyebrows at the scene in front of him.

"Leave me the fuck alone, okay!" Olivia let out loud enough for my girlfriend to hear. "You've always been such a fucking bitch to me! Bringing Niall to fuck in the hall of a bar and coming back with that smug smile! You knew I loved him and you did that on purpose! And now i'm supposed to respect you? Fuck you!"

Louis' lips parted and his eyes opened wide in admiration before he let out a laugh.

"Well fookin' said!" he just expressed with an other laugh as Heidi frowned at him.

"Oh fuck off, Louis! We all know why you're always defending her, stay out of this!"

I frowned at her words but when I was about to ask about it, Louis flipped her off and Olivia scoffed.

"Mind your own fucking business!"

"Niall is my business. He's MY boyfriend! Go back to your stupid boyfriend, the guy you're supposed to marry, remember?"

"Yea you say that just because you tried to get in his pants and he didn't want anything to do with you!"

"Yea and that makes him stupid and obviously blind! Have you seen you and have you taken a look at me? You're a 3 at best! What the fuck do you have that's so fucking special that made men like Dylan and Niall want you?"

I saw Olivia's face change and in the expression on her traits, I could see all her insecurities coming back. All the efforts she had made to love herself, to be better in her skin? Gone. Her confidence had faltered and it broke my heart. Suddenly, her face changed again and she raised her eyebrows.

"Clearly something you don't have."

She turned on her heels quickly and left as my lips parted in shock. What had just happen exactly?

"You are the worst person I've ever had the misfortune to meet and you deserve a fucking punch in the face." Louis said before  swallowing the rest of his beer and leaving with Eleanor, Julie and Liam.

"What.. what were you thinking?" I asked, shaking my head slightly when my girlfriend got closer.

Heidi frowned and shook her head, walking past me and disappearing in the crowd. I stood there for a few minutes and finally decided to get out of the club to get fresh air. I had no idea where everyone was but I saw them talk together not too far from the building and joined them.

"Liv, hey, i'm sorry."

Her eyes met mine and her traits softened as she shook her head. "No it's not your fault, Niall. Don't worry."

"We're going home." Louis explained, looking at me. "Just going to get high instead. You're welcome but without your witch of a girlfriend."

My lips curled very slightly and I just nodded. "Alright, I'm in."

I knew I had to talk to Heidi but it could wait. I was in the wrong and somehow, I could understand why Heidi had thrown an other tantrum, but I couldn't forgive the words she told my ex girlfriend. Just thinking about the way Olivia's face had twisted in pain made me swallow a lump in my throat. I turned to her, noticing she was looking down at the ground and seemed lost in her thoughts. I knew she was strong, but I also knew she could be vulnerable, and there was no way I was going to let her believe that she was not perfect. Because she was. I was ready to tell her multiple times a day until I'd die if I had to.

[mousehole5000]

 this is it... the final post.... 226 through THE END!!!!!

this shit with mu qing and the river of lava is SOOOO dramatic im loving it

oh my god theyre on a FUCKING bridge of course they are okay let’s go boys

“You’re right. We’re alike. You think me odd, I think you to be rather weird too.” - so what im getting from this is that xie lian and mu qing are the only characters in this book with working gaydar okay yup got it this checks out

god... the fact that xie lian is ready to be like “look mu qing we can just forget about the past it doesnt matter we dont have to be friends i know you dont like me but im not gonna let you die over it” and then mu qing is like “.... god i really do admire you huh”

“You...certainly...are rather amazing. You’re...also...a better person...than me. Long story short, I...very much wanted...to become your f-f-friend.”  - going to think about this for the rest of all time im about to become utterly unintelligible im overcome with emotions

“And, at the end of the white silk band, Feng Xin was gripping Ruoye with one hand while the other was holding on to a steel-faced Mu Qing, and he shouted towards him.” - the fucking IMAGE of this im gonna cry this is everything i could have asked for im so happy also mu qing dangling there like “ welp. guess ill live“

“Feng Xin was almost burnt by that pillar of fire, and he shouted in outrage. “WHAT’S WITH THIS BAND OF DOG SHITS, ATTACKING PEOPLE WHILE THEY’RE DOWN, SO VILE! FUCK YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY!” Xie Lian responded, “IF THEIR ENTIRE FAMILIES ALL LOOK LIKE THAT, YOU SURE YOU WANT TO FUCK THEM??” - theyre so funny!!! and theyre best friends!!! theyre joking together now in the middle of all this i could cry theyre back!!!

“Using sticks as arrows, he held the bow with one hand and used his teeth to bite back the bowstring.” - no clue how practical this is but okay archer boy. hot

i actually have so many little quips between the three of them highlighted but we’d be here all night if i included them all. im literally so delighted by this omg worth the wait

“Each sabre strike slashed to the bone. It wasn’t like Xie Lian had never seen Hua Cheng use the sabre before in the past, but his style had always been easy and leisurely, nonchalant and casual. Rather than say he was handling a weapon, it was more like he was toying with a small knife. Yet those blade marks were filled with killing intent. It was easy to imagine just how skilled the one exchanging blows with him was, and how perilous this battle.” you have no idea how mad i was when i read this and thought we missed witnessing the fight between hc and jw omg

“Behind him, Feng Xin muttered, “Dear fucking god, may all the gods and buddhas grant their blessings, that better absolutely be Crimson Rain Sought Flower, otherwise he’s gonna go mad!” “Stop your rubbish,” Mu Qing berated. “We’re all the gods and buddhas ourselves and we can’t grant shit, just keep up with him! Look at the stumbling way he’s running, he’s gonna trip and fall to his bloody death before he even sees the man!” - okay i know i said no more quips but this is literally too funny i just wanted to read it again

“ However, for whatever reason, that vicious ghost, in its muddled state, took that large group of live mortals under its wing and fled for many days. In the end, they were still surrounded by millions of ghosts, trapped in a dead end, and it was going to be eaten along with those humans.” [...] “That vicious ghost almost made a move against those humans, but for some reason, in the end, it didn’t. It instead used one of its own eyes as the price to forge a blood weapon. That vicious ghost was already forcibly hanging on with its last breath; after digging out its eye it should’ve broken apart completely. Yet somehow something had shocked it, and it instead woke to its senses completely. “ - THIS IS AMAZING ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? IS THIS ALL WE GET ABOUT HIS GHOSTLY LORE?????? HUA CHENGGGGGGGG

“What a terrible offence, his old habit had come out, and he quickly apologized. “I’m sorry! You don’t have to listen to me!” Hua Cheng, however, only smiled happily. “Everything gege tells me is the best advice, so why wouldn’t I listen?” - this isnt the fucking time afjdkfjsdkl they really never stop

“So you can hold the illusion of a perfect Crown Prince of Wuyong to face and dismiss the Jun Wu now. Isn’t that your objective? Did you think I don’t know what you’re thinking?” “THAT’S NOT IT!” Guoshi cried. “Stop getting tied up in right and wrong, victories and defeat, I’VE NEVER THOUGHT THAT WAY BEFORE!” - jun wu only being able to see xie lian as his successor and believing that thats all anyone else sees too... okay

honestly this whole final showdown was a blast i cant put everything in but it was so much fun to read. the DRAMA the LAVA the SHOUTING t

“Hua Cheng had poured too much spiritual power into him. There really was too much, so much that it was completely outside the amount the cursed shackle could withstand.” - okay.... okay... the love you give will set you free... okay....

“With Jun Wu in his grip, he carried both their bodies and forcefully slammed into the incomparably-solid rock wall! He used all of his power in this smash, and in the rumbling and crashing of rocks, he also heard the sound of something breaking.” [...] “A moment later, Jun Wu suddenly asked, “That move. What is it called?” “...” Xie Lian raised his sleeve and wiped away the blood on the side of his face. “Shattering boulders on the chest.” YES!!!!! YES!!!!! xie lian actually lived that life!!!!!! i loved this detail so much

“After a moment of silence, Xie Lian took off the bamboo hat carried on his back, took it in his hand, and covered it over Jun Wu’s face.” - xie lian... good... another detail i love. a hat that protects from the rain, given in a moment of need, even to someone who has caused you hardship... we do not forget the kindness granted to us

“There was gratefulness, there was shame, there was heartache, there was wild joy, but above all else, there was incurable love.” - :pleading: i wish it was just that easy tbh. “i have to tell you about the worst parts of myself” “ive already seen them and i dont care i still love you“ truly the dream

“ It’s been so long since anyone listened to me talk, won’t you stay? Don’t...actually do this. I won’t be able to take it. Twice, it’s been twice already! I really don’t want there to be a third time!!!” - the bit about just wanting someone to listen to him talk... xie lian... :(

emily corpse bride moment.... i knew it had to happen.... butterflies.... death and rebirth.... inevitable

xianle trio bickering about ruoye..... mu qing complaining but not letting anyone else fix it... im so happy

“The Rain Master sat down on the spot, looking like she was going to perform a passing service for her. After all, Xuan Ji was the only one left of the Kingdom of Yushi besides herself.”  - xuan ji you sure the hell were... a character. this little moment tho..... yushi huang... many thoughts

“ Who hasn’t made promises, or swore to the mountains and the seas when they were young? Talking of affection, of love, of forevers. But, the longer I hang around in the world, the more I understand, something like ‘forever’ is impossible. It’s never going to be possible. Having it once was already good enough. No one can truly achieve it. I don’t believe in it anymore.” - jian lan im happy for you bummer it didnt work out with feng xin but yeah that was looooong ago. also this quote me same mood kin but its chill. having it once was already good enough

although yeah tbh if theres anyone who can have a forever like that... it would be a ghost and a god

fasdfjadklfj GOD... pour one out for ling wen.. but is that not the truth of this world? the one can be pardoned for being good at paperwork that no one else wants to do? isnt that the plot of the shawshank redemption?

okay but the fact that all xie lian’s friends come to visit him while he waits for hua cheng is making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.... fengqing coming together to try to get him out of the house but get scared off by his cooking... amazing

“Last time, they spent eight hundred years running towards each other. This time, it only took an instant to fall into each other’s embrace.” - im completely unaffected by this. im not lying i swear (i am lying im very emotionally affected)

okay i love this final wrap up chapter party its so fun. mu qing moving on from the broom thing!!! good for him!! the beggars get their reward!!! the fun ghost city chefs!! SQX!!!! and he xuan is?? here too??? he’s hungry??? fjadlkfjsdl

“The grounds that Feng Xin and Mu Qing had just swept were once again filthy from that giant crowd of muddy feet. Mu Qing gripped his broom, looking like he felt someone had infected him with fleas, and his eyes were wide.” - me when my dad comes into the kitchen when ive just finished washing dishes i get it king

the little folklore bit... fun!!! oh my god its over..... :(

that was really fun i had a blast reading it and on the whole really liked it i WISH soo badly that hua cheng had gotten more outside of being cunty and devoted even tho those are both important i just wish there was more about like how he got by during those 800 years and like did he ever have doubts? what shaped his worldview was it all xie lian or was it his experience as a mortal as well? why is he so mean to e’ming? theres bits and pieces here and there and i know it was already SO long but that really would have been great if there was more about hc cuz tbh by the end, at least for me, the hualian relationship didnt actually feel as fleshed out as the xianle trio relationship like i still liked hualian’s dynamic and it was really sweet how much they clearly really liked each other and  everything but i kind of wish some of the other subplots had been dropped or diminished in favor of more hc development i think that would have been cool

but anyway thats some of my thoughts and i really did enjoy the hell out of book 5 that was a riot and uhhh thanks to everyone who read these or commented *lends you spiritual energy through a high five*

[star-mum]

LIVE REACTION TO NIGHTMARE TIME EP 1

Idk if anyone would even be interested in reading this but as I was watching the show last night I kept writing down my reactions on my notes so here we are

*this is all in caps idk why just roll with it*

THE OPENING SONG IS SUCH A BOP OMG NICK LANG HIMSELF ?????? MONSTER FUCKER RIGHTS ???? HIDGENS ENTRANCE HOW ICONIC "LUCY IS HAVING NONE OF IT" I LOVE THAT OMG JOEY PLAYING KONK (?) IS SUCH A POWER MOVE I LOVE THAT THE BEGGINING IS JUST TARZAN FANFIC SKSKSKSKS MARIAH IS TEXTING JOHN (?) AND HES LAUGHING SM WE LOVE A COMEDY QUEEN I LOVE THEM USING THE ZOOM BACKGROUNDS SKSKSKS KONK IS AWFULLY CLOSE TO COCK AND I THINK ITS ON PURPOSE ?? SPECIALLY WITH THE LAG I HAD TO DO A DOUBLE TAKE SOMETIMES SKSKSKS SOMEONE JUST SAID "TED'S ORIGIN STORY" ON CHAT AND I LOST IT !!!!! COULD YOU IMAGINE ???? HANDSOME LADY ? I MEAN SURE TIGHT JOHN IS LOSING IT FUCK MAN, SAME CURT OMG THAT ACCENT OOOOOOOOHHHH BOY I KNEW IT WAS HER FIANCEE SHIIIIT WE CANNOT TRUST HIM I KNOW THIS !!! "ENTAGLED" SKSKS WHAT SIR HES GAY CHILL OUT WHATS THE YEAR, IT FEELS SO OLD TIMEY "I'D SAY YOU HAD FEELINGS FOR THIS APEMAN" OOOOOOOHHHH DONT U SAY JONATHAN IS A PUSSY BITCH I CAN TELL LUCY JUST DROP IT OH SHE ACTUALLY DID ????? FUCK IT UP BABE

(I JUST ACIDENTALY DELETE HALF OF WHAT I WROTE SHIT, ILL HAVE TO REWRITE IT FROM MEMORY) WHAT THE FUCK THEY WERE TRICKING US??? THEY CALLED IT, WHAAAAAAAAT WDYM "PLAY THE PROFESSOR" IS HE NOT A PROFESSOR WHAT ALTERNATE REALITY IS THIS I NEED TO KNOW

ARE THEY GONNA FUCKING KILL HIM WHAT??? SINGING LONDON BRIDGE WHILE CHASING SOMEONE IS MY FAV SCARY TROP HAHAHHA YEEEEESSS "TOOK OFF WDYM" GIRL HE IS HOLDING A GUN WHAT DO YOU THINK "WDYM" WHY DID HE KEEP THE KONK ACT AFTER LUCY LEFT SKSKSKSKS TED WTF SKSKSKS "I DO SOME OF MY BEST THINKING WHEN IM ERECT" HAHAHAHA TED LIKES TO BE A HIMBO THATS GREAT IS HE GOING TO KILL TED ?? AAAAAAAHHHHHH TED HE HAS A GUN PLZ DONT TEST HIM HE HAS ALREADY KILLED A MAN OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH FUUUUUUUUCK RECAST???? WHO IS TAKING TED'S ROLE ????? OH SO ITS NOT OLD TIMEY AFTER ALL RED SOMETHING???? OH TED'S GONNA PROPOSE IS SHE GONNA SAY NO? SHES GONNA SAY NO RIGHT ? FUUUUUUUUCK HAHAHHAHA WHY IS HE NAKED ??? JAHAHHAHA WHAT WHAT IS HAPPENING TED WHAT ? "PROFESSOR SHOULD GO FUCK HIMSELF" HAHAHAHA PORNHUB PREMIUM ACCOUNT HAHAHAH "OOOoooOOoOoOoOoOohhHhhHh BUT IT IS" FUCK NO DONT KILL HER OOOOOOOOOHHHH TED'S DEAD SHIT OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH ROBERT'S ACTING IS *CHEF'S KISS* DAMN OH SHIT TED *NOW* TED IS DEAD FUCK HIDGENS IS HERE NOOOOOOOOOOO IS HE GONNA KILL HER ??? OH SHIT OH FUCK LUCY'S CAUGHT IN  A BEAR TRAP WHY ARE PPL SAYING WORKING BOYS IN THE CHAT ??? OH THATS WHY !!!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHH MINE IS A LITTLE BEHIND IS SHE BROKE ??????? OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHA I KNEW IT HIDGENS GOT PLAYED THATS ON YOU BUDDY OH FUCK HIM UP LUCY ! BECKY BARNES ????? HATCHFIELD LORE ???? WAS SHE RUNNING AWAY FROM HIS HUSBAND IS THAT WHY SHE CLIMBED A TREE APE MAN SHOW UP PLZ WHO IS IT THO ?????? JEFF HELL YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK JESUS CHRIST APE MAN YEEEEAAAHHH WOOLY FOOT ?????? IS IT CHUMBY???? OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH HAHAHA YEEEEAAHHH HOW DID HIDGENS KNOW ????? OH IS IT OVER ?????? NOOOOOOOOOOOO I WANTED MORE ;-----; THIS WAS SO GOOD THO OOOHHH FUCK ANOTHER MUSIC NUMBER JAMIE YOU LOOK AMAZING !!!!!!!!!! I CANT WAIT FOR THESE SONGS TO BE AVAILABLR FOR US (IN LIKE 3 YEARS CAUSE IM BROKE SKSKSKSK) HE DANCES THE CAN CAN ?????? OKAY I SKIPPED A BIT TO BE ON TIME WITH EVERYBODY "ARE YOU FUCKKING HIGH????" YEEEEEEEEEAH PART 2 BABEY !!!!! NICK'S HAIR LOOKS AMAZING OMG OH ???????? BILL AND ALICE !!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD I MISSED THEM !!!!!!!!! OH THE TEEN ANGST I LOVE BILL SM HE'S SUCH A GOOD DAD DEB ????WHY WOULD U HURT BABY ALICE LIKE THIS ???? "I MIGHT NEVER SEE DEB AGAIN" GOD ALICE CHILL OUT LET HER BE A PLAY WRITER BILL CMON "MY BUDDY PAUL" AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH BLINKY ??? I DONT TRUST THAT AT ALL FUCK NO JOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHNNNN I DONT TRUST HES CHARACTER THO OOOOHHH LOVE DISCOUNTS I DIDNT LIKE THE WORKER CALLING HER PRINCESS THO, SHES BILL'S DAUGHTER NOT YOURS OOOOOOHHHHHH NO OH NONONONOONO BILL IS GOING TO DIE I JUST KNOW IT BLINKY IS EVIL I CAN FEEL IT ALICE NO NO LITTERING WHORE JAMES !!!!!!!!!! ALICE IS ALSO GOING TO DIE MAYBE RIGHT NOW WHO KNOWS BLNKY WTF SHE IS A MINOR WTF AAAAAH I DONT LIKE IT HERE JAMES ILY BUT THIS CHARACTER IS CREEPY AS SHIT I DONT LIKE IT HAHAHAH TIGHT LOVE THEME PARK STUPID SHIRTS "I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE FUNNY" HAHAHAHAH DROWSY TOWN ? THE CHAT PULLED MY ATTENTION TO THAT BUT I DONT GET WHY ? IS THIS BAD "I'D FOLLOW YOU ANYWHERE" THIS IS SUCH A DAD THING TO SAY OH ALICE CMON DONT SAY THAT BILL CUT IT OUT WITH DECIDING YOUR KIDS FUTURE THATS NOT FUN OH GOD I DONT TRUST THAT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO NO NO NO "AHOY BOYS AND GIRLS" NO NONONONONO UNCLE WILEY FUCK OFF THE SNIGGLES NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUUUUUUUUUCK NOOOOO AHHHHHHHHHHHHH "WE'RE THE SNIGGLES DONT BE SCARED" YOU KNOW WHAT SNIGGLES I AM SCARED BUT HELL YEAH SONG TIME OOOOOOOHHH FUCK IT UP JAMES OH ARE THEY GONNA LIKE GIVE THE AUDIENCE A SLEEP INDUCING DRUG OR SOMETHING ??????? "DONT BLINK" AHAHAHA I DONT TRUST THAT AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH "GREAT WE'RE DEAD" HAHAHAH THE SONG WAS A BOP THO "WHAT ARE THE SNIGGLES?" GREAT QUESTION ALICE "NOW U KNOW HOW I FELT WHEN I HAD TO SEAT THROUGH DEH" HAHHAHAHA "SEE U IN A SNIG" HAHAHA SNIGGLETTE ???U OKAY BBY??? OOOOOOOOHHH MORE SONGS HELL YEAH I LOVE ANGELA'S VOICE SM THE SNIGGLE PUNS ARE KINDA CONFUSING ME NGL WHY WAS THAT SO SAD OMG OOOOOOOH SHIT OH FUCK THEYRE GONNA KILL HER I JUST KNOW IT OMG "PRAISE THE WATCHER" OH MY GOD PLZ DONT KILL HER "UNTIL HE'S SEEN EVERYTHING" W H A T LAUREN'S VOICE SKSKSK SO CUTE PAPA SNIGGLE I DO NOT TRUST YOU THOSE ARE ALIVE ARENT THEY ????? OH FUCK SNIGGLETTE IS SHE OKAY ????????? "ANGELA R U ALRIGYT" WHAT "SHUT UP JEFF" OH MY GOD I DONT LIKE WHEN THEYRE SELF AWARE SKSKSKSK " U CAN SHUT THE HELL UP LAUREN" HAHAHAHA BILL OMG HE'S SUCH A DAD HAHAHAHAH ALICE IS SO NICE DO THEY NOT KNOW "ARON AROOON" HAHHAHA OH CHURROS I LOVE THOSE THE GIRL SHE DOESNT LIKE ?????? OH NON BINARY RIGHTS LOVE IT "IS THIS A FRIEND OF ZIGS" OH LOVE RESPECTFUL DAD DEB NOT COOL OH ALICE SHIT ALICE BBY IF SHES CHEATING ON YOU THATS NOT ON UR DAD STOP SHITTING ON HIM LIKE THIS "ITS UR MOTHERS FAULT" OH MY GOD HAHAHHAHA GREG AND ALISON ? AND BETH ?? DOES BETH LIKE HER ????OH NOOOOOO GREG NO U SHITTY SON OF A BITCH GOD FUCKING PUNCH HIM OH  NO HAHAHA FUCK NO THEYRE ALL POSESSED ARENT THEY THATS THE TEEN FROM THE MOVIE THEATER HAHAHHA "it lagged ;-; now we wait" A MAN IN A HURRY HAHAHAHHA OH SHIT BILL IS MAD IS HE POSESSED TOO ??????? OH SHIT WHATS HAPPENING BLINKY ????????? OH NO OH NO SHES GONNA HAVE A PANIC ATTACK THEYRE GONNA BE FINE RIGTH ??????? RIGHT ???? BREATHING EXERCISES BABY CMON OH NO PLZ DONT DO ANYTHING STUPID BILL NOOOOOOOOOOO BILL PLZ DONT DIE AGAIN I LOVE YOU SM PUT UR SEATBELT BACK ON PLZ NOOOOOOOOO OH THEYRE BOTH GOING TO FALL ARENT THEY OH NO OH MY GOD OH SHIT PHONE IS BROKEN OOPS AWN IM GONNA CRY PLZ LET THEM SURVIVE I BEG YOU NICK LANG OOOOOOOOH TWILIGHT BUT GAY I AM *HERE* FOR IT OOOOOH THANK GOD THEYRE SAFE THANK YOU NICK LANG BILL YOURE SUCH A GOOD DAD OH GOD SHIT ALICE CHILL OUT ITS JUST A PHONE BABE "SHE KNOWS IM WATCHING HER" I DONT TRUST THAT IS *SHE* POSESSED OR IS THIS JUST TEEN ANGST ALICE UR DAD IS TRYING HIS BEST PLZ CUT HIM SOME SLACK OH MARIAH TURNED HER CAMERA OFF OH DEAR GOD WHAT DOES THAT MEAN HAHAH I LOVE LIVE BLOOPS OH MY GOD BLINKY IS TERRIFYING FUCK NO DO NOT GET THAT WIGGLY JUNIOR BILL DONT HOW ??????? OH MARIAH IS BACK WHAT DOES THIS MEAN ??????? WHY CANT BILL GET THE MALLET THING DONT TAKE IT YES SMART LAUREN ? SKSKKSS WHAT MADAM IRIS I DO NOT TRUST YOU WHAT ?????? IS THAT ALICE'S PHONE ???? BILL DONT GET SCAMMED OH ITS AN ALL SEEING IPHONE ALICE CHILL PLZ IS HE GONNA DIE ????? PLZ NICK DONT DO THAT ALICE DONT DONT KILL UR DAD 49.95 AGAIN BILL PLZ TRY ANOTHER GAME JAMES DAMN THATS RUTHLESS BILL WHAT AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH IS THAT REAL ???????? IT CANT BE ??????? OH ITS NOT REAL ARE THEY MAKING THEM HATE THEIR FAMILIES AND KILL EACH OTHER ?? A TENDER KISS ON THE CHEEK FROM A DEMON HOW NICE GUYS PLZ JUST GO TO THERAPY I BEG U WHAT ARE U GONNA DO BILL? KICK HER HEAD ??????? (SORRY I HAD TO) BLINKY'S FUNHOUSE THAT SOUNDS WARM AND COMFORTING THIS IS LIKE THE OPPOSITE OF NOT UR SEED FIGHTING IN THE MIRROR PART OF A FUN HOUSE IS ALWAYS A GOOD HORROR MOVIE TROPE OH FUCK ARE THEY GONNA WAKE UP OH FUCK PLZ WAKE UP ESCAPE THIS ALIVE YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH OH SHES GONNA SHOOT HIM ISNT SHE ????? SHES GONNA SHOOT HIM I JUST KNOW IT HES AWAKE SHES NOT IS BLINKY GONNA KILL THEM ?? OOOOOOOOHHHHHH FUCK I KNEW IT OH HELL YEAH ALICE FUCK IT UP ARE THEY GONNA DROW ?? OH NO OKAY DID THEY SURVIVE ???? IS SHARED TRAUMA GONNA SAVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP SKSKSKKS THEY SURVIVED !!!!!!!!! THANK YOU NICK LANG (AGAIN) WAIT HOW DID SHE GET HER PHONE BACK ? OH MADAM IRIS DID GIVE HER PHONE BACK AWWNNNNNNNN ALICE THIS ONE HAD A HAPPY ENDING YAY WELL IG THE OTHER DID TOO BUT NOT FOR THE CHARACTERS WE KNEW

THIS WAS SO GOOD I LOVER STAKID !!!!!!!!!!! I JUST WISHED I WASNT BROKE SO I COULD PAY FOR THE NEXT ONES KSKSKSKSK WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU GUYS TO DO YOUR REACTIONS FOR THE NEXT ONES !!!

I HEARD GREG AND IT WAS CRAIG SKSKKSSK OOPS

*from this part on is reactions from after the show when starkid was answering questions from the chat*

YEEAAH VOTE FOR BIDEN HELL YEAH STARKID

"THE WITCH IN THE WEB" WEBBY ???????? DO WE GET TO SEE HANNAH AGAIN ?????

A THEORY ON TUMBLR FROM REDDIT ON A INSTAGRAM ACC ON YT OH MY GOD SKSKSKSKKS

THE STORIES ARE CANON !!!!!!!!! THEORIES LETS GO GANG

STARKID FANS WHO CAN DONATE TO STARKID PLZ DO I WISH I COULD DONATE TO THESE TALENTED PPL G O D

I WAS CORRECT IT WAS KONK WITH A K

NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE YES!!!!!! WORKING BOYS !!!!

"NICK LANG IS A BOSS"

MARIAH: SAYS FUCK AS ALICE ALSO MARIAH: GEEKED THE *FREAKED* OUT

TIP JAR HAS BEEN OUT FOR 11 YEARS HELL YEAH

HOW TF DO YOU SPELL ZIGGS BTW

OOOHHH THEYRE FAKE THAT MAKES SENSE OK NOT FAKE COMFIRMED BUT PROBABLY FAKE LETS HOPE DEB DIDNT ACTUALLY CHEAT

"WELL I WAS BORN IN 1989" HAHAHAHA

BECKY CLIMBED WHILE RUNNING FROM HER HUSBAND I FEEL LIKE THATS WHAT THATS ABOUT

OH GOODIE I GET TO WATCH THEM LATER IDK WHEN BUT AT LEAST IK SOMEDAY

BLINKY VS WIGGLY

OH CMON NICK I WANTED TO KNOW ;-;

THIS WAS SO NICE I MISSED THEM ;-;

[dartiri11]

The prophecy of the golden wolf (Zelda Botw Fanstory pt1)

It was a day like the others in the life of King Rhoam Bosphoramus Hyrule. Yet. Since his wife died because of terrilble illness, he tried to spend more time with his five year old daughter Zelda. He told her a good-night-srory until she at last fell asleep.

He gave her a kiss on her forehead and silently closed the door.

The King went into his bedroom to go to sleep, but there was something lying on his bed. It was a letter. But how is that possible? The guards were all over in the castle the whole time. Who brought this into his bedroom?

He looked at the letter. On the front was just his name.

King Rhoam Bosphoramus Hyrule

It was written in an old Hylian handwriting. He carefully opened it.

Meet me behind the castle. Now. At the edge of the forest. The whole kingdom is in danger.

Trust me

It was not sighned. There was not much text, but written in the same handwriting. That all sounded a bit suspicious. And if it was a trap? He didnt belive, the kingdom was in danger. How should it be? But if it the letter is no lie...

He called a few guards and his first Consultant Impa to him and showed her the strange letter. "Dont go, your Highness! Im sure its a trap! Someone is trying to kill you." One of the guards said worried.

"But if its not?"Impa said. "What if its true and our kingdom is really in danger?"

The King decided. "I will go and find it out. But not alone. You all come with me."

"Wise decision, your Majesty" Impa mentioned calm.

Twelve horses were riding to the woods behind the castle. Ten guards, Impa and the King hinself. There were nothing. Only nature. It was dark. The only light they had, were a few torches and the moonlight.

When they had arrived the edge of the forest, one of the guards got off his horse and took a torch. He slowly went to the forest and held his torch in front of him. There was a silence, until a voice broke it.

"King Hyrule. Im glad you came my King, inspite my letter. I feared you would get suspicious."

The guard flinched and the ohers pulled their swords. The guard at the forest edge, Soren, looked up and saw something golden lying on a thick branch of a tree. He steped back and looked at the golden creature. It was a wolf. A wolf in a golden furdress lying on the tree and looking at the King.

The King stared at the wolf and asked mistrusting. "Are you the one, who write the letter? Who are you?!"

The wolf wasnt impressed be the King of Hyrule. "I think thats not important at the moment." He answered calm. "He is going to return. Ganon will come back." Horrified whisper went through the group of guards. But the wolf continued. "This time i dont know when exectly but Princess Zelda exists and we just-"

"No! My little daughter will not risk her life to fight against a monster! Never! She will live a normal life and is going to be Queen one day!"

"Your Highness, forgive me. I-"

"How dare you?! Come out of nowhere, calling me, the King, to place and order my daughter to risk her life! How are you thinking you could-"

"HEY, Listen!!! Im just trying to warn you, seeing your kingdom fall! Its not just like many times before. Its much more than this. It will be a Calamity. And you and the other tribes like the Zora, the Goron or the Gerudo have to help." The wolf said strict until he noticed, how rude he had talked to the King. "Im sorry for beeing so strict and unpolite, but-

But King Rhoam wasnt angry. He just listened banned to the wolfes prediction. "No no its ok. Please go on."

"Its Princess Zeldas destiny to work together with the Chosen Hero. You know her so you have to find the Chosen Hero." The wolf ordered.

But King Rhoam was confused. "And how do we find him? Is there a mark or something?"

"Yes, he wears the Triforce on his hand." When the golden creature said this words, the guard Soren flinched. A cold shiver ran down his back. The wolf noticed it and jumped down from his tree and went towards to him. Now all of them had seen the wolf compleatly. He was tall. Taller than normal grey wolves.

Soren steped back but it came closer until the wolf stand right before him. And now he whispered to him. "You know him, right? Blue eyes, blond hair?" He sat down directly in front of Soren. And whispered again. "Hes your son right? It hurts to bring this news, but if he can pull it, hes the Chosen Hero."

"Soren, is everything alright? What does it say?" Impa asked with a Shiekah-knife in her hand.

"Yeah i guess, but wolf? What do you mean? What has the Hero to pull?" Soren asked, scared about his sons life.

The wolf looked at the King again and went back under the tree he was lying on before. He sat down and finally answered. "The legendary Bann-Sword. The only sword, which can slay Ganon. The Master Sword." Soren frightened looked at him and the wolf gave him a apologetic look back. But he continued. "If someone can pull it, you know the Chosen One."

The golden wolf stood up again. "Now. Your Highness, find the Chosen One and prepair for a war with monsters and a Calamity, Hyrule has never seen before. Unite the other tribes of Hyrule and save your kingdom."

No! He couldnt just go now! "Wait! Wolf, are you going to leave us? That all was so random! Are you not going to help us against the Calamity?!" King Rhoam was shouting.

"Im sorry, your Majesty, but my time is over for more than thousands of years ago. Its time for a new era in the Hystory of Hyrule." This were his last words before the wolf turned around and went deeper into the woods until he was swallowed by the darknes of the night...

Hi, how do you like it? Should i post another part? I have got enough ideas ro do that. Well thats the begin of the whole Bowt story... Btw i think you already know it, but im not very good at speaking or writing English. I hope you can understand it without problems.

Thanks for reading❤

[a-fic-a-day]

Please dont take my sunshine away

This is my interpretation of what happens to my Traveler Shiloh before the A6 crew find her.

Panic gripped my chest like a vice! ' where is everyone! Where are the guards! What's happening!' With every thought my feet carried me swiftly through the gilded halls of my home. 'This is what you get for falling asleep in the garden again shiloh now you dont know whats going on!' 

Agonized screams and angry shouts could be heard echoing through the halls fueling my hurried escape to where is wasn't sure! A sharp turn and then a site so horrid a scream catches in my throat as I stop just short of the bloodied corpse of a guardsmen. Hands flying to my mouth in horror. Trembling I go to step away before a hand shoots out grabbing me firmly by the shoulder ,tugging me into a side hallway away from the scene.  Before I can scream a voice familiar, gentle and sonorous speaks lowly easing my nerves.

"Hush little  lamb. It's just me. Now listen something really bad is happening and you and I need to get out of here as quickly and quietly as possible."

 In all our lives my brother has never sounded so grave, so serious. His white brows pinched into a scowl upon his normally jovial blue face. I nod still too shaken to speak but trusting Ser'Rose enough to get us out safely. He was always sneaking out he knows the most secret paths some even the most skilled of our guard couldn't even find.

"Where is that guard of yours hmm lamb? Always hovering when you don't need him but now he's a ghost" 

I swallow the lump in my throat as he leads me by the hand out of the palace " I don't know Rosie… i.. I fell asleep in the garden again and i woke up and people were just screaming. I still dont know whats happening Rosie."

He stopped sharply pushing us against a wall. I go to say something and he hushes me with a look. We hear heavy footsteps and a sharp voice so heavy with bloodlust " Find them! Gather every royal mutt up  and put em down!" 

Our hiding spot was thankfully spared as the footsteps ran off in the opposite direction. " that's why we are getting out of here lamb. Some nasty people want us dead but i'm not gonna let that happen! Now come lamb we've got to get to my good friend Ar'dwalla.They owe me a favor and in cashing in today. They're gonna get us off this planet and safe." He paused taking a deep breath  and looking me in the eye where hot tears had begun to gather. 'Im scared but at least i have rosie with me'   I gathered myself and gently  squeezed his hand " ok rosie i trust you."  ' I fear for our brothers and sisters and  our parents  so deeply it hurts but he already knows that…'

The journey out of the palace is tense and quick. Almost being caught several times because of me. it's Painful to think of what could happen should we get caught and i'm the one slowing us down. I tug  on his arm to get him to stop my voice wavers with sadness as I eye our exit  

 " Rosie im slowing us down. We will get caught as soon as we are out…" a shuddering breath " Im not as quick or as stealthy as you… you should go without me . It will be safer for you." 

He is on me in a second. Callused hands gripping my upper arms looking at me as if I had just said the worst thing he has ever heard.  Firmly he says " dont! " he swallows hard and looks down and back up " don't ever say something like that again!  We can both make it! I would never leave you shiloh! Never! You and I are going to make it and we are going to get out of here and live! Do you understand me!" I nob  frantically tears pricking at my eyes again "good! Now let's Go!" And we ran.

 We managed to get  a decent way out before we heard the violence spill into the city. We were vulnerable out here. Ser'Rose more so than I with his bad habit of sneaking out and   being known. People know his face, his voice, he wanted to be seen and known and now it was causing our escape  to be more hazardous. 

" just a little further now lamb and we will be-" he cut himself off abruptly pulling me to his chest and into the shadows. That same bloodthirsty voice from the palace wrapped my heart in an icy grip. " Where are you little prince! We know you're out here somewhere! Best come out quick and ill make your death a quick one runt!"  A crash and then  the sound of solid footfalls " this princey is a little pest I hear! The black sheep always running off from his little flock! Causing trouble for mommy and daddy! Now causing me trouble! Get! Out! Here! Face your death coward!"  

My brother was tense and his jaw clenched  i looked up at him wide eyed. This was our only route to Ar'dwalla. We are trapped right now we stare death in the face.  I whisper my voice dripping in fear " what do we do Rosie? Should we hide and wait?"

 He looks at me. The tension fading from his face into something soft and familiar. Like when he used to calm me from a nightmare. He presses something into my hands, it's cold , rounded metal.  I look into his eyes searching for an answer and all i see is tender sadness and a glint, one that ive seen before that calls for no argument. Once he's made up his mind there is no changing it.  His voice is tender  and soft when he speaks " No lamb you are going to hide. You're going to stay here and you're not going to leave this spot until it's quiet. No matter what you here Shiloh promise me you wont leave this spot!"

I knew what he was going to do " Rosie you can't! You said you'd get us both out! Both you and me! Please Rosie you cant ! I won't let you!" It was like a rock in my stomach as I spoke!  ' he cant he cant he cant! I won't let him! Please rosie don't do this… please..' 

" you're  so good lamb. And i've never done right by you and im sorry im breaking another promise to you! But you were always the best of us. So kind and loving. You should be able to live and enjoy life, find love, have an adventure and im not going to let you die here and ruin that" he held me tighter tears running down  his pale blue cheeks " i love you so so much Shiloh! Don't ever forget that. Take care of yourself and live for me. Live for me lamb!" He kissed my forehead lovingly and with finality before he scrubbed his eyes  before walking out.  Leaving me silently crying praying for his safety.

I could hear him as he spoke tauntingly " I heard someone ask for a prince." 

"Looks like the roach came out." The malice was there in that voice as they spoke slow and drawn out " come here runt and you can die with the rest of your flock." It was near silent the tension in the air only broken by my brothers slow and taunting footfalls a pause and then rage "GAH YOU SNEAKY BLUE BASTARD!" 

" YOU DIDN'T THINK ID GO WITHOUT A FIGHT DID YOU, YOU GIANT FOOL!"  The ragged sounds of a fight! I flinched each time I heard him cry out! Every hit I heard  him take felt as though i took the blow myself  before finally "I'M DONE PLAYING MUTT!" *CRACK*  a gunshot and the sound of   a body hitting the ground with a strained groan "Stay down and die in the dirt mutt"  I had to restrain myself from running out screaming to my brother. Falling to my knees in pain as I waited….. and waited. Until there was nothing just as he said before i crawled to the corner of the alley and saw my brother bleeding on the ground 

"no.." my voice trembled as I clambered to my feet and ran to him. Falling to my knees beside his broken body I laid his head in my lap. The tears came hot and fast choked sobs escaping my body as I caressed his bloody cheeks. 

" why…. Is…. My little lamb… crying..? Hmmm?" His voice so soft and broken.

“ Ser' rose! Please please hold on!! I can fix this! I can fix it! I just need! I need! A needle some tread! Rosie im so sorry! It's My fault if I was-" his hand slowly lifted and touched my cheek " shhhhh… lamb..s'not your fault… it's theirs.. you can't fix this… im sorry. I made you…. Cry." He smiled sadly up at me " can i… see.... My sunshine  smile…  one… last time.."  I held his hand tightly to my cheek as I smiled down at him through the tears and  the pain. He smiled tenderly back tears trailing down his face mingling with his blood. 

" You need… to go now Shiloh.. ill be fine… now that i saw… your smile.. I need you to.. go… and live.".

I choked out a sob " I can't leave you here. Your dying.. we can get you help. Please Rosie i need you. I don't know what to do without you. Please please i can't leave you!" I whisper so desperately to him

He shook his head slowly " you.. know.. i wont.. make it… im sorry…. You're  hurt…. But please… you have… to leave… me" his breath was getting shallower and he was paling fast as the  blood left him. " i… will…. Always … be .. with you.. Shiloh…. Always." He closed his eyes and began humming brokenly. Our lullaby, the sound once soft and comforting now haunting with finality. 

I kissed his forehead " i love you rosie" he smiled tiredly as i placed his head back on the ground. Standing i looked down on him. He looked so calm as he lay dying. I turned and i ran. 

The chaos was still everywhere. It was like I couldn't out run it. Smoke and screaming. Pain and death everywhere you looked. I was so close now. Not to much further. 'you can make it! For Rosie! For Rosie!'  

A large blast and im sent flying and tumbling! Smoke burns my eyes and then  a sharp pain in my head! I'm lying on the ground the sky blurred and fading above me! The pain in my head terrible. ' i was so close… im sorry' 

[voidselfshipp]

Lonely toucan.

Tommy had recently let me in his small community, I had my own little house to live in, well me , and my dog missy, a Manchester terrier.

And then I met his brother , Joel, he uh.

He was fucking cute, thats what he was.

So, y'know like, those love at first sight bullcrap?, yeah, not so much bullshit now, he and his daughter Ellie,were quite the pair, the kid got on joels nerves playfully, it kind of reminded me of me and my siblings, who were on their way here.

One day however, we needed supplies, ammo, scrap for bombs and traps, there were Many searching parties, one of them was Joel, ellie and me.

My feet drag on the ground, missy was leading the way, long and tall buildings touched the blue Sky,birds Chirped and the place was clear from infected.

-So jerico is it?- ellie asks, wanting to start a conversation- whats your story?-

-Well, im from Argentina, came here before the infection with my siblings , for opportunities, And well, then hell breaks loose and we managed to survive, I at least, left my parents behind , there wasnt much for me back there -

-oh...-the kid says-and your parents?do you know what happened to them?-

-Well, they Passed away after a couple of months after I moved here, so now they are in a better place...i wanna think at least-

And meanwhile Joel was silent , serious expression barely making any sound.

Missy halts and barks, there is a store a couple of meters away, I signal her to come here with me and i scoop her up,just in case we need to bail out.

The shop had a couple of ammo boxes and such, but mostly barren.

-How did you get missy?- Ellie inquires again while searching in a box.

-She was a rescue, after a couple of months of wandering I found her alone on a pet shop, I was astonished when I found her alive, weak but alive, me and my siblings nursed her back to health, and now she is here with me, my loyal companion -

-She is a cute one, isnt she Joel- I kneel down for Ellie to pet her, my dog barks and jumps out off my arms into Joel, licking his face and barking happily when he pets her.

-She likes you-I say,grabbing missy by her leash-come on girl, down, down- the terrier backs off and sits-I saw a room with a shit load of stuff, but equally filled with spores I have no mask-

-We'll go-Joel says, god his voice.

-Oh look!, he talks- I say, sitting with missy, he snorts and shakes his head,I catch a glimpse of a smirk - ill stay here and scan the place, If something comes ill knock on the door-They enter the room, and I just wait, petting missy-you liked Him, dontcha chica?-(girl) she barks and snuggles closer- that makes two of Us.

Meanwhile, Joel and Ellie wander trough the room.

-i saw you smirk, you never smirk with people you just met,whats up with that?-the kid asks.

-Whats up with that?, she has charm,you have to laugh at her comment, shes funny-the Man tries to dismiss the question, but there was truth in there , she was charismatic, and funny, clever even.

-And now you compliment her?, dude ,you totally have a crush on her-

-c'mon Ellie we just met-

-love at first sight is a thing-

Joel groans and both Get out of there , there was a couple of useful things, they all re Group and show what they found.

As they make their way out something stops them, missy grunts, a horde of infected are closing in, too Many to face.

So they run,jeri scoops her dog up and bolts as fast as she can, they enter a departament complex, they barricade Everything they can and sit,waiting.

Vía radio , Joel tells Tom what happened,reinforcements Will come in a bit.

Missy lays down with Joel who is catching his breath.

Jerico finds an ukelele, she hesitates but tunes it as silent as she possibly can, still, they were really far up, and the walls were thick.

-Whats that?- ellie asks.

-A ukelele, Like a mini guitar-she is done tuning it - I wrote a song, its crappy, but y'know , Something to kill the time, also to be noted, I am a hopeless romantic-

-You wrote a song with that thing?-ellie asks, pointing at the ukelele.

-Yeah-jerico nodds

-can I hear it?,please?pleaaase?- the kid pleads

Jeri quickly eyes Joel, who Is sleeping .

-Fine, but not too loud, your oldman is sleeping-

-he is not my dad-

-yeah whatever-both chuckle and jeri starts to play-Oh trough this still waters I flew, my feet barely hitting the surface.

Then I saw you, standing there, I loved every bit of it, oh , to be your River, to flow undisturbed, loving you all the way trough.

But im just a lonely toucan,a silent night owl, that longs to be something else with you.

Oh to be your River, and flow undisturbed, I love you with every ounce of my being, oh to be your River...-

-Thats...too cheesy, you werent kidding about being a hopeless romantic-jerico rolls her eyes- who is it about anyway?- ellie asks, then the older woman looks over to Joel-oh shit , well, I am going to take some fresh air, god, you are too cheesy-

Jeri chuckles and nodds.

She keeps playing unaware of Joel listening to her

--Oh to be your River,flowing trough the storms, with every ounce of my being, my heart sings along.

And even if youre rough, ill Keep flying along, to get to the waterfall.

Oh to be your River, and happily flowing along.

Oh to be your River, and flow with your love-

She is talking about him, he is the only person inside the room that she could have pointed at.

His heart flutters warmly.

Damn this crush of his.

Why does she gotta be so perfect?.

He shifts and she stops playing, then he feels soft fabric cover him, it smelt like leather, did she covered him with her jacket?.

Missy lays her body on Joel and snuggles closer.

He smiles.

-I Knew you were awake!- jerico says-Open your eyes, youre not fooling anyone-

Joel chuckles and looks at her.

-You got me- he doesnt move tho, petting missy's Head-she is really beautiful, Like you-

Jeri's cheeks burn red and looks away.

-Uh t thank you-

They Keep a comfortable silence until missy stands up and sits on the womans lap,demanding attention.

-What did you use to work,before all of this?- Joel drapes jericos jacket on her back again, she smiles at the gesture and signals him to sit close to her.

-i used to work as an animator for a company,my dreamjob really-

-what a shame, I bet you would have exceed at it -

-Heh,i Like to think the same-

Her head falls on joels shoulder, she yawns.

-didnt sleep enough last night?- the Man asks as his arm sneaks his way around her neck she snuggles closer.

-My sleep schedule is fucked-

Joel catches a glimpse of Ellie spying on them Gently peeking over a door, he waves her off and she smirks.

-sleep, you Will need it-

-But what if--

-Sleep now ,ill protect you-

Jerico nodds blushing and snuggles closer to Joel.

Eventually reinforcements arrive.

Back at toms safehouse, jeri is preparing to sleep , snuggling into her covers, herself brought them all the way here, they had the faint smell of vainilla.

A sudden movement made her jump, its Joel.

-You dumbass you scared the living crap out of me!-

Joel chuckles and hands her the ukelele.

-you lost this-

-oh thanks-she says calming down- god im so tired, but I cant sleep-

-want me to lay down with you?-

-Dude , I dont want to bother or seem like a child-she sighs- i just feel unsafe alone..-

The mans face contorns with empathy and kicks off his shoes.

-Make space, c'mon-

Jerico wasnt going to Argue, she lays down,leaving space for Joel to lay down,his arms hug her waist with her back against his chest.

He was warm, they snuggle under the covers , And missy lays down on the edge of the bed where their feet are.

- y'know-jeri says- when I was a teen, I tought that love was bull crap, a few lucky ones could enjoy it, and I was heartbroken,and I just carried this with me, just loneliness, then I saw you and god, I was just smitten-she sighs and turns her head to him-what im saying is....I have a crush on you....-

Joel is taken back but he snuggles closer, whispering a me too into her ear before kissing her, she kisses back and a trail of kisses goes down her neck.

She turns her head back again and smiles.

He hides his face on the crook of her neck and sighs in content.

They both can take a bit of time off, Togheter,just them, nothing else exists.

A sweet and soft 'I love you'loosens from the Mans lips before they crash into a well deserved And very needed slumber.

Even the apocalypse had good things.

[Fin]

:3

[ain-t-bovvered]

14x17 Commentary

Zeta and Giuls scream together, and then die.

@purpleskiesandcherrypies and @dean-winchesters-bacon won’t be joining us for this one. 

Me & Zeta will watch together season 14′s episodes as they come out and we’ll do our commentary while watching.

+MASTERLIST of season 14 commentary * 

Giulia: Yo i’m sad he ded tho

Giulia: But is he?

Giulia: YAAA sis Jo

Zee: Ouch

Giulia: Oh go fuck u nick

Giulia: You can burn. I want to use that

Zee: Ded

Giulia: REJECT HIM

Zee: Donnie

Giulia: nick such a drama queen, like his fucking brother. gasps, Lucifer/Nick is Hamlet.

Giulia: Donny babe

Zee: Stabby stabby

Giulia: Shish kebab teenagers

[14x17 Game Night ]

♪ Raindrops keep fallin' on my head ♪

Giulia: Love that song

Giulia: God I love him. IF THEY TOUCH A HAIR ON HIM

Zee: Fucking hell

Giulia: DON T TOUCH HIIIIM

Zee: Seriously ??!!!

Annoyed Dean tho

Oh look at the son of Satan without a soul making pop-corns

Zee: Mary?

Giulia: Yeah well she still exists

Zee: Why again?

D:  SON OF A BITCH!!

Classic Dean

J: I thought this was supposed to relax him.

M: You know, this was his favorite game when he was little.

me: *imagining little Dean playing the game exactly the same and with a high pitched voice: Son of a bitch*  good visual.

J: Everybody keeps asking me that.

Giulia: We aRe FamIlY

J: Well, it’s annoying

Mary: 

Giulia: It is

Zee: Did she eye roll?

M: if you ever want to talk or...vent...

J :You're here. I know.

J thinking: I just wanna eat my pop corns and play stupid game, can I fucking live?

Giulia: Winchester game night

D: All right. Winchester game night is a go  soon as Sammy gets back here with the two double-pepperoni meat blasters AND

Zee: Pineapple. A crime against humanity

Giulia&Jack : I like it

Dean: why have you forsaken me, son

D: Yeah, it's like a crime against humanity.

Me quoting [ X ]  

Zee: SEE????

Giulia: Was that enochian?

Zee: I think

Giulia: IT’S BABE TIME

Look how cute he is.... SO CUTE , SO CUUUUTE

Zee: Knew it Was waiting for it

Anael: wow this place is so ...

Giulia: U MEAN  CUTE JO

Giulia: Omg he has pancakes

Zee: Doesn’t eat them

Giulia:HE’S BEING POLITE OK. Oh look a that they have cream and strawberry *sobs* I’m hungry

A: Well, you said you had something for me.

Castiel sliding a jewlery box.

me [heart attack]

A: 16th-century Burmese blood rubies.

LOOK AT THAT CUTE SMILE 

A:  Five carats. Excellent clarity. Castiel,where did you get these?

Zee: Lightly cursed

C: I need your help. To contact God.

Giulia: Oh honey no

Zee: I just laughed along with jo

- um so Anael was Joshua right hand? so she wasn’t that useless angel afterall. 

Giulia: Joshua is dead?

C: Jack killed Michael.

Giulia&Zee: Good night sweet prince

C: Only God can restore a soul.

ISN’T THAT A BOTHER 

A: The Winchesters -- they don't know you're here, do they?

Giulia: Of course they don t

Zee: Squint

C: Why do you say that?

A: Oh, I don't know, just a general reek of ill-conceived lone-wolf desperation.

Giulia&Zee: Lone wolf desperation

*Cas looks into the camera like in the office*

C: will you help me or not?

A: Not

C *smirking* : I see

A: BUT

Giulia: She s me

Zee: Mental grabby hands

S: It's not Enochian. I-I-I think it's Ancient Hebrew.

Sammy says it’s not Enochian

Zee: It’s not enochian then

Giulia: Oh WeLl AncIenT HeBreW

D: well Sammy sounds stressed

WHAT’S NEW THO

M: I just wish there was something that I c--

D:Hey. You're here, okay? You're here.

Giulia: Mary is here everyone!  Everything is fine

Zee: Chuck I hate her

M: But I should've been here more. But I know how I am. I can be closed off...and hard.

D: Yeah, well, that's where I get it from.

Giulia: OH NO No he definitely doesn’t

Giulia: Dean is always there. Mary just fucks off somewhere

M: I just need you to know... I'm grateful. For every day I get to spend with you and Sam.

Giulia: Listen- I’ve been on this show long enough to know that when someone starts to talk like that it’s bad news-

S: I know this.

Giulia: What the fuck is sam brain made off

Zee: Good question

S: It's from the Bible. It's -- it's Peter. Peter 5:8.

"Be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary the Devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour."

Well that sounds NICE

Zee: Trap?

Giulia: Oh come on

Zee: Trap

[enters Nick with an apron]

Giulia: OH FUCK YOU

N: What, no "hey"? "How ya been"?

Giulia: No fuck off nick

D: How?

N: Instead of rotting away in a jail cell where you left me?

N: Sort of a funny story... and by "funny," I mean a lot of people died.

Giulia: Can they just kill him

Giulia: Dean just kill him

Zee: Valid question

Giulia: Mary can you be useful and just kill the bitch

N: I mean, I sort of injected your friend with poison --

Giulia: Poor Donny

D: Where is he?!

N: Ooh, the angry voice.

Zee: Oh ok

Giulia: Yeees the angry voice

Giulia: I. Don’t. Like. Cas. Doing. Stuff. Alone.

A:Even for us Methuselah?  You sheltered him after the Fall.

Methy: I didn't "shelter" -- We were roommates.

Giulia: OMG THEY WERE ROOMMATES

Methy: He made a mean lasagna

Zee: Loool

C: No. You'll tell me, or I'll burn this place to the ground. and you with it.

Giulia: *Shivers* yeeees

Zee: Kiddo

C: Is that really what you want?

Giulia: SHIVERS *YEEEEEEES*

OK BUT YOU GOTTA LOVE THE SLOW MOTION THO

Giulia: oh Sam baby

Giulia: YES

Giulia: YEEES

D: Whoa! Hey. Hey! Not now. Okay?

D: not yet

Stellar content

Giulia: Let Sam kill that bitch

Zee: Let someone kill him

D: I don't know. If you ask me, that psycho's seen way too many '90s serial-killer movies.

S: The antidote is Prussian Blue

Giulia: *raising hand* Knew that

D: He said he wanted to talk. So let's talk.

Giulia&Zee: Oooh yeah let’s talk

Giulia: I’m sam

Sam’s like “ but Deeeeeean I wanna smash”

D: if Nick looks at you wrong, you're gonna waste him.

LET HIIIIIM

Giulia: Who cut Jared ‘s hair

Giulia: I dont like it

Zee: I need season 8 hair

S: Donatello's in this because of me. A police officer is dead because of me. I'm the one who let Nick go, I'm the one who...

please babe ....can someone just hold him

M: Nick's choices are his. Just his.

M: You gave him a chance because you felt for him.....because you're a good man.

Giulia: Oh look at him being all cute when mary called him a good man

M: You are. It's one of the reasons I'm so proud of you.

Anael complainig about the dust while she’s an angel.

Giulia: LOL SHE S ME

ALSO WE ALL KNOW THAT DANNEEL LOVES CREEPY DOLLS

A: God's not gonna care.

Giulia: das true

A: I believed in Heaven. You know, our mission. I believed, Castiel. But then I got to Earth, and I saw that it wasn't the paradise God promised. I mean, there was so much hate...so much suffering.

A: Why wasn't he helping them? And do you know what he said?

A: "God doesn't meddle."

Zee: Doesn’t meddle

Giulia: Das also true

A: Well, I do. So I do.

C: And here I thought you just performed miracles for the money.

A: Well, you haven't been paying attention, then. I do them for me. I don't need Heaven. And I don't need God. And... I'm happy, Castiel.

LISTEN - I STAN ANAEL

C: Really? Because that sounds lonely.

Zee: We’re all lonely

A: because we're all alone. From ant to lion to human to angel. Every last one of us.

Giulia: SHE S ME

C: God reached down, and he brought me back to life.

A: So he saves one angel...and watches millions of people die screaming, every day. What does that say about him?

Giulia *sweats* : But he saves THE angel ok

Zee: Ouch

D: Where’s Donatello?

Giulia: That’s the content I want

N: I get you, Dean. You and me,we're almost like brothers, you know. Michael, you,Lucifer, me --

Giulia: NOT LIKE THIS

N: we both know what it's like to be hog-tied to a nuclear warhead, man.

Giulia: OH NOPE

Giulia: NICE

D: Cut the crap

N: You're never the same after something like that, are ya? Being one with one of them. It changes you. Makes you more than human. Come on, Dean, admit it. With Michael, you were a prince. Now you're just a broken Hunter.

Giulia: Another one

Zee: Demon dean vibes

Giulia: But also MoC tho

Giulia: So much demon dean

D: Come on, Nick. What's this all about?

D: He says he wants to talk to Jack...alone.

Giulia: His friggin’ cocoa puffs

Giulia: I don t like jack and nick alone Especially jack with no soul. Because let’s be real, he has so little of it ok

j: Sam?

S: I mean-

D: "I mean"? What do you mean, you mean

S: How's he even a threat?

Me: mmmm *opening big ass folder* where do I start?

Zee: Of course. He went there

N: Even your three dads -- how many innocent people you think they've killed?

Zee: Even your three dads

Giulia: Threee dads

Giulia: You broke his heart

N: I don't know. I don't -- I don't see it. I'm looking right at you, and I see nothing.

Zee: I see nothing

Giulia: Don t like that. Mmm mmm nope

Zee: Wth?

Giulia: He killed him

N: Nick. He'll show us where to find Donatello.

oh...he did not kill him. oh bother

Zee: I’m done

Giulia: We ve been knew

A: Look, I just stepped on a rat, so --

Giulia: My babe

Zee: Say it like you  mean it tho

A: You're doing this because you're afraid. Because in your mind, it'd be easier to call God than to tell Sam and Dean Winchester the truth.

C: The truth?

A: Jack's soul is gone, Castiel. And there's nothing you can do about it.

i hate this

A: Look. I don't want to say all that and hurt your feelings, so...what do you say we call it a night?

HI YES I’M WRECKED BY CAS FACE RIGHT NOW, DON’T TOUCH ME

Giulia: Oh he lives

Giulia: OOOOH THAT THAAAAT

Zee: Fuck

Giulia: CRIES

Giulia: tell me he gives it to dean tho

Zee: He has to

Giulia:...OH wait that’s not the same tho , meh

C: God...I don't know where you are. I don't know if you can hear me. But please. Sam, Dean -- we need you. Please.

Giulia: My heart .Cas broken voice

Giulia: Sigh

Giulia: Sob

Giulia: Cries

D: Look, you try anything funny, Sammy's gonna shoot you. Anything happens to me -- 

N: Wait. Let me guess. Sammy's gonna shoot me.

Giulia: Yeah to start

Giulia: It’s been swell

A: So, what are you gonna do now?

C: Go home.

Giulia: The bunker is his Hoooomeee

C: Go home and tell Sam and Dean the truth.

Zee: Can I have the bag?

C: Anael. You know, you're not <i>always</i> right. Just because God's not with us doesn't mean we're alone.

A:  Why? Because we all have each other?

C: Yes.

Giulia: SO CUTE

J: This was filled with angelic grace.

Zee: Can’t word. Sam needs to punch him

♪ Oh, Sammy boy, Sammy boy ♪

Giulia: Oh no Nick singing. Ptsd flashbacks from the crazy sam ♪ Your phone, your phone is calling ♪

Nick doing disgusting things

Giulia: OH WHAT THE FUCK

Zee: Cb radio. He’s awake

S: Y-You trying to communicate with someone?

N: Search your feelings.  Come on, Sam. Nobody stays dead anymore.

Giulia: fucking nick

Giulia: Fucking demons

Zee: Holy crap

Giulia: YES SAM. YES

Giulia: OH COME ON

Zee: Damn nick

Giulia: stop hitting sam’s head

Giulia: Fuck u nick

Giulia: DEAN is so calm and collected tho. MOC baby. I mean...look at his face while he’s kicking those demon’s asses. That looks way too cold ok. I don’t like it.

Zee: That final push. That’s what I saw on tumblr

Giulia: They need to stop hitting sam in the head

Giulia: DAMN IT NICK. i have 0 empathy for that bitch now. 0

Giulia: Oh come on. Fuck. Fuuuuck

Giulia: NO. MARY NO. FUCK

Zee: Jfc

Giulia: JESUS

Zee: Hell-o

Giulia: Again with the chicken wings

Giulia: OH THANK GOD

Giulia: OUCH  but also YES and also NO

Giulia: Oh yeah Jack is definitely going in that box

Zee: He ded?

Giulia: I sure hope so

D: Hey. Hey. Come on. Stay with me now. We're just gonna play a little game.

D: We're gonna count, okay? We're gonna count.

D: Count with me. One.. two...

S: ...two...

D: Yeah, there you go...three.

S: You -- You always put -- You always put me first.

D:No, no. Shh, shh. Come on. Come on, man.

Giulia: IM SCARED STOP IT

S: Your whole life...

D: Okay. All right. All right. Come on. Come on. Just count with me.

D: Sammy. Hey! Sam!

Zee: Wtf is going on?

J: Mary? I had to.

M: Sam -- Uh, he's hurt. Help him.

Giulia: YEAH OK THANK

Oh god Dean’s face. MEDIC MEDIC HELP

Giulia: oh poor Dean. I NEED A FUCKING MEDIC 

Zee: They should stop scaring people

J: Everything's gonna be fine.

Giulia: SAYS NO ONE EVER ON SPN WITHOUT CONSEQUENCES

Giulia: i don t like mary face

Zee: Is she scared of jack?

Giulia: She right to be But she shouldn’t be like that in front of him

J: Tell me it's okay.

M: It’s not

J: Leave me alone X9

Giulia: Can she just shut up. i mean she’s not wrong. But she should shut up

Giulia: ...SEE THEN THIS HAPPENS

Giulia: Oh

Giulia: Nope

Giulia: Dont like this

[after episode]

Giulia: PROMO

Zee: Fuck

Giulia: I HATE IT

Zee: Did Dean just tell Cas that he failed him??!!!

Giulia: No cas said that , fucking Dean said : you are dead to me

Giulia: WHICH IS WAY WORSE

Zee: Yeah that

Giulia: AND MY HEART HURTS

Zee: Can’t type

Giulia: I WANNA CRY AND I’M ANGRY AT DEAN

Giulia: i didn’t need to see that

Giulia: I can’t hear anything else

Giulia: I can’t unhear that

.

.

.SO IS NEXT THURSDAY ALREADY CANCELLED?

BECAUSE FOR ME IT IS I DON’T GIVE A SHIT . 

.                

.

FUCK YOU DEAN , FUCK YOU.

.

.

@wayward-angelgirl @destiel-honeypie     @mariekoukie6661     @dragontamerm      @closetspngirl   @rainflowermoon    @mattiecat     @bunnybaby121115  @aliaitee2   @jacks-word-of-the-day     @4evamc       @dammitsammy     @legendary-destiel   @winchesterprincessbride    @destielhoneybee    @castiellover20   @jacks-word-of-the-day  @ravenhg @evvvissticante  @legendary-destiel  @dustythewind

[reesewestonarchive]

chapter six / rem belongs to @forlornraven / masterpost / mature content

The van idles in the parking lot when Nakoa wakes. Rem’s nowhere to be found, until Nakoa peers out the window of the motel room and sees him setting their bags in the back, a cigarette stuck out of his lips.

Nakoa pulls from the window, stretches his arms above his head.

Waits for Rem to come back, and when he does, he takes one look at Nakoa and says, “You ready?”

“For /what/?” Nakoa’s ready to settle down. Get a job in some bullshit city that won’t ask his age. Rem can…

Well, maybe if he’s happy, he…

“Next leg of the trip.” He pulls the cigarette from his mouth, stubs it out on the bottom of his shoe. “You wanna get dressed?”

Right now, he wants another fucking nap.

“I’ll blow you,” Rem says, with a raise of an eyebrow, and Nakoa snorts. There’s no fucking way Rem wants to get out of here that quickly. “If we go.”

“Yeah fucking right,” Nakoa says.

But Rem steps forward and pulls Nakoa against him by the hem of his t-shirt. Tucking his fingers into the waistband of Nakoa’s pants, he says, “No. Hey.” He tugs at Nakoa’s collar, a smile tugging at his lips. Nakoa thinks about kissing him. He doesn’t. “I’m serious.”

Nakoa looks from Rem’s lips to the van outside. “Where are we going?”

“Oregon, maybe. Why not Canada? Or Mexico. Check out some of their beaches.” Rem grins. Draws Nakoa in for a kiss, and he tastes like coffee and creamer, sweet and smooth.

Like a different guy, but… fuck, Nakoa’s used to this. Rem gets freaked out by something, says a bunch of jackass shit, and Nakoa handles it poorly. It’s not like this thing between them’s easy. Nakoa doesn’t understand it himself, most of the time. Nakoa’s never wanted as much as he wants with Rem, and… that’s terrifying. To imagine the future and want someone by his side.

“What happened?” Nakoa asks, when his eyes are still closed and Rem pulls away, just slightly. “With the blood.”

Rem goes tight under Nakoa’s fingers. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Tough shit. You’re going to.” Nakoa pinches him, under the arm, and Rem yelps, scowls at him.

“Might have some prick on my tail. Don’t worry about it.”

Don’t worry about it. “You nearly beat the shit out of my dad when he hit me last year,” Nakoa says, trying to contain his frustration and failing, “but the second I want to make sure you’re okay—”

Rem pulls away. “It’s not the same. Come on, in the car. You can drive.” He flashes a smile, mischievous, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Rem.” Nakoa flattens his voice, steps backwards so Rem’s presence isn’t quite so intoxicating, so he can think through the fog in his head. “I’m serious.”

Rem sighs, runs a hand through his hair. “It’s fine. Can you calm down? I’m not some fucking damsel in distress. I can take care of myself—”

More than he had the other night, Nakoa wants to leave. Let Rem fend for himself, see where that gets him. But then, he imagines Rem lying on the side of the road, or in some dark alley next to a liquor store, and— “Why are you so afraid of this?” he asks, thinks about gesturing between the two of them, really nailing down what he’s talking about.

A dark look passes Rem’s face, before he says, “Because I don’t want you involved.” Nakoa expects him to leave—it looks like it. “You don’t need to get caught up in my bullshit anymore than I should be caught up in yours.” Nakoa wants to tell him that he likes to be, that he likes knowing Rem’s fine, that if he could help, he would. And now that it’s them against the world, two of them on the road alone, each other is all they have. But Rem doesn’t let him, says instead, “We have fun together, right?”

And any hope burns to ash in Nakoa’s chest. He tastes it on his tongue when he says, “Yeah. Fun.”

Bowie plays on the stereo in the car, and Nakoa hears it from miles away. He thinks of what Rem said in the motel room; fun. That’s what it started as; is that all it will ever become for Rem?

Desire breeds warm and heavy in Nakoa’s stomach, sated temporarily by sex, but more often Nakoa just… wants. A longing feeling when he sees Rem singing along to the radio, when Rem moans—a different one when Nakoa touches him than the one he makes when eating pancakes, but neither less arousing than the other.

The goofy grin when he teases Nakoa.

He wants. Maybe the two of them will never own property, will spend their lives on the run from Nakoa’s shithead of a father, from the people Rem hustles for money to survive, but that’s a better end than wasting away in Withervale.

Nakoa should tell him. He should find a way to say the words without scaring Rem off, to say without expectation what he wants.

But then, he wants Rem. Is it not better to have what pieces of himself Rem will offer?

-

“What are you doing?”

Rem’s voice is scratchy with sleep. His eyes bloodshot from a twelve hour drive, and Nakoa’s knuckles hurt from where he has been pressing against play, pause, record for two hours, listening to the radio.

Fuck. Nakoa rips off his headphones, says, “Nothing. Why?”

Rem raises an eyebrow, says, “Come on. Come to bed.”

Bed tonight is the mattress in the back of the van. Nakoa’s money sits safely in the locked glovebox, but it’s dwindling. They’re close to Oregon, now, Disney just a pipe dream, but Rem keeps pulling off to look at the wildlife. To stop in gift shops. To tug Nakoa around randomly in tourist traps.

Nakoa might revel the attention, if he thought it would lead anywhere.

In Rem’s hand hangs a bottle of whiskey, capped, but when Rem leans down to press a kiss to Nakoa’s lips, he tastes sober. Like toothpaste.

Nakoa chases Rem’s mouth with his own when he pulls away. Rem smirks. His gaze lingers on the tape recorder. “This for me?”

“Fuck off,” Nakoa says. He’d picked up the tape recorder in a pawn shop for a few bucks, one night, and a pack of blank tapes, too. He’s tossed out one shitty mixtape once already, to throw Rem off his tail, to keep him from immediately suspecting. Kind of counterintuitive—the whole point of the mixtape is so Nakoa doesn’t have to say anything—but it calms the anxiety some. That tape had a bunch of Madonna and Bon Jovi, interspersed with just enough of what Rem likes to keep him from telling Nakoa to fuck off and replace the mix with something else.

But it’s hell, finding songs for him. It’s a fucking nightmare. Nakoa has two, right now; a Queen song and a Bowie song, and it feels like the damn thing is never going to be completed. There are a million songs out there, but they’re too cheesy. Too fast, too slow, too cheap, too cliche. Whatever Nakoa’s looking for, he hasn’t found it yet.

Rem’s hand is cold in Nakoa’s, though. There’s a chill to the air, but Rem is warm when he pulls Nakoa against him, brushes his lips against Nakoa’s hair, and laughs as he says, “You need a fucking shower.”

“Rich, coming from you.” Not that Nakoa minds; or not that he can say anything about it. They both need showers, water pressure better than what by-the-hour motels have to offer. Some fucking soap.

Nakoa hums under his breath, already trying to budget out what they’ll need. He can’t.

“What are you humming?” Rem asks. His breath is warm against Nakoa’s ear, his arm a pleasant weight over Nakoa’s waist. It’s been a few days since they’ve fucked. Rem’s been going, too much, switched on too often. Nakoa jerks him off in the van, sometimes, on open stretches of road, sometimes Rem returns the favor, but Nakoa’s getting restless.

That was the beauty of Withervale, Nakoa thinks. The opportunity to do whatever the fuck they wanted, whenever. And it’s not like they couldn’t pick any town they pleased, settle in, but the call of the open road sounds like the call of a siren, to Nakoa; irresistible.

“Sounds like Queen,” Rem says.

“Good ear.”

“Mm.” Rem’s voice is already drifting. Nakoa waits until Rem’s breathing evens out, sneaks back out to where the recorder sits on the old picnic table next to the van.

It’s dawn sooner than Nakoa expects, and there’s a vicious crick in his neck that throbs and burns when he moves his head.

But, after searching through multiple tapes, through radio stations, through mixtapes… Nakoa’s finished.

He clears his throat. Hits stop on the recorder, then hesitates, his finger over the record button again. He could say it, here. Tell Rem everything he wants to say, even though words are meaningless. It’s easy to recognize that, with Rem. The amount of things that just happen, the words that fall from Rem’s mouth.

Nakoa shoves the tape in the stereo of the van, and crawls back onto the mattress. Rem’s breathing is still slow and steady.

He doesn’t move towards Nakoa in his sleep, so Nakoa does it instead. Presses himself against Rem’s side and curls against him. Nakoa breathes him in, stretches his legs, and passes out.

He wakes to Freddie Mercury singing over staticky, broken speakers, quiet, barely audible. Nakoa stretches his arms over his head, yawns, and sits up.

Rem’s behind him, hands in his lap, picking at the last few remnants of his nail polish from his nails. Nakoa makes a mental note to pick some up, if he can find any.

Nakoa watches him, for just a moment, head tilted to the side, before Rem says, “I like this one.”

His heart swells. A grin grows on his face. “Yeah?”

Rem says nothing, though. Just starts the van, puts it into gear, and drives.

Mist surrounds them, casts the road and woods in an eerie, romantic fog, and Nakoa listens as the tracks change from one to the next, discordant in genre but similar in theme.

Rem laughs when The Scorpions play, taps his fingers against the wheel, and Nakoa feels his heart sing along with the lyrics.

When the tape ends, Nakoa takes a deep breath into the silence, his breath loud in the empty space between them. Rem says nothing, seeming content in the quiet. Nakoa wants to fill the silence, somehow, but all the words feel wrong, now. The tape has already said everything he wants to say to Rem, more eloquently, more concise.

But the miles pass, and Rem says nothing. More miles pass—and he says nothing.

Nakoa resigns himself to nothing, disappointment growing in him like a wild beast, untamed and unmanageable. He bites at his fingernail. Lights a cigarette and takes two drags before he puts it back out.

Still, Rem says nothing.

So neither does Nakoa.

[mediocracy-at-best]

hi this is gonna be a ramble and please dont read this if you dont want to like i totally understand- and this might seem like “poor me” etc etc whatever but imma type this with absolutely no regard for what im typing absolutely no filter etc i just need to get words down so i know wtf is going on in my head this medication has helped so much with my anxiety, but i literally dont fucking care about anything anymore. i used to sing on the daily now i dont care. i used to do my work (or at least some) and now it has been weeks since i turned in an assignment in literally any class. teachers are coming to me and asking whats wrong and why i dont do anything. its not that im lazy im trying i just cant. i cant read the instructions i cant open classroom or powerschool without being reminded how fucking stupid i am and how behind i am and how much i need to read and get done. and then earlier i had a meeting w doctor lady and she was like u dont sleep enough. like ok sis im a teenager but thats not the problem. i cant have this anxiety of not having anything done but i also cant do it. i now have extensions bc of my iep on almost all my classes but i simply for some reason cannot even convince myself to fucking login to classroom. i want to be back in school with forced structure. after classes i sit there and do nothing because i cant go on it or i get sad and scared and worried. all day long my mom is texting me yelling at me, and currently my room is so fucking digusting that my mom cant even step into it without almost having a breakdown. i am surrounded by my own fucking filth and no way to escape it because that involves getting out of bed. i cant get out of bed. why? bc simple tasks literally fill me with lack of motivation and i just end up crashing afterwards. i cant do fucking anything i need help but i cant bring myself to ask for help w school bc then ill be obligated to face classroom and face powerschool and reach out to teachers back who have been watching me progressively get worse and worse each fucking day. i am failing classes that i could be passing with flying colors. i could have fucking high honor roll rn but this is the worst my grades have ever looked in my entire life. there is 3 weeks til the end of the mp and i have a fucking 28 in personal economics. i have a 42 in health. i have a 67 in creative writing simply because i cant fucking log on and do it. i sound so goddamn dramatic but i cant do it. but i also cant let anyone else do it because then it just encourages me to rely on someone else. it overwhelms him bc hes in several AP classes and i am in none yet here i am complaining about my work. its not the work its me. its my issues. its my lack of fucking drive. i know a lot of this is bc its all virtual and lack of schedule is really hard for me, but also this is my last year of public schooling and its already november. the fall play is fucking online and my senior show isnt gonna be the same, if it happens at all. none of my goals from the last 4 years are able to happen and nothing is good. everything sucks. i suck, everything around me sucks, and add on how much i am dissapointing my mom. i cant even tell her why because i have issues opening up to my parents about my problems. my mom insists she has adhd and learning issues but she straight up doesnt and always pulls the “if i can do it you can” “all you do is lay in that fucking bed” etc. i feel like im in a fucking coma. i cant sing. i cant do makeup. i cant do my schoolwork. all i can do is fucking lay here. can things be normal please god can things go back to normal. i want to see people normally. i want my senior show and homecoming and prom and the football games and graduation. i want to go to the stupid fucking christmas parties i go to every single year. i want to trick or treat without a piece of fabric on my face. i want to go see broadway shows bc thats what keeps me going. i want to fucking live again. i want to sit in school and wish i was doing something else. i dont want to overwhelm the people around me. i have no fucking explanation for why i cant do stuff but i fucking cant. i cant do anything that takes brainpower. i cant do anything i might possibly fail at. i feel so trapped. every week i wait for therapy to come around again so i can tell her my latest problem bc i feel like thats all i have. i feel like dylan is tired. my mom is tired. my friends are tired. i am fucking tired too. i am so goddamn fucking tired of this. i cant do this shit girl bye i literally just need to take a shower and try to fall asleep even though the minutes are going by extremely quickly the marking period is ending and i might not even be able to graduate with my class if i dont get it together. goodnight 

[freelytinystudentblog-blog]

Beginning

So I guess for starters Im gonna say i am probably going to remain anonymous for a while. Also this stuff might get deep and personal so ill change all names. Since freelytinystudentblog is ridiculously long im just going to go but Eve because why not. Im not trying to look for attention posting all this stuff but i need an outlet and what better way to do it than anonymously on a website where it probably wont get read. So if you do happen to stumble onto this page then welcome. Hopefully you wont get bored. I guess its time for me to start with the beging which would be about 3ish years ago when I was a wee little lass and believed that because i was 13 i was basically the shit(which i obvously wasnt). I had moved a total of 3 times which doesnt seem too bad but it was always when i got really attached to people we moved and i never spoke to them again. This time was no different. We moved from one small town to another. Being one of the only mixed kids there besides my brother was surprisingly positive and annoying. Why youre probaly not asking? Well because my hair was everyones interest. A big ball of poof i always threw into a pony tail because honestly there wasnt much else to do with it. Everyone wanted to play with it or see how much stuff i could hide in it. It was fun at first but quickly got annoying. While there was that downside to the town it also had some positives. For example it was there that i realized that i was bisexual. To be honest i never thought about liking girls until my boyfriend at the time and his friend were talking about how they were both Bi and i said it to fit in a little. I didnt actually believe it until i realized the way girls made me felt. How i always caught myself looking at their chests and their butts, and how i fell for my friend Taylor. She was my first offical girl crush. Anyway this is getting a little off topic though it was important. Like i said there were many positives like the cool friends i got to meet, I got into blood in the dance floor and had a little emo phase and met a guy i thought id be with forever. That all sounds good but with all positives comes negatives. I began to get super depressed and even cut a few times. I felt trapped in my relationship with Damien. Whenever we fought hed threaten to kill himself or say stuff like “without you id kill myself” which is a shitty thing to say to someone in my opinion. I started doing things id never do like sneaking my boyfriend over and all that. But the biggest neutral that happened was me losing my virginity. No big deal it seems but i was freshly turned 14 and he was 16. We werent safe there was no protection. I know losing your virginity is supposed to be meaningful but i dont remember it. I wasnt drunk or anything so i dont know why i dont remember it. Anyway a couple weeks later i snuck out and walked around town and ended up having sex again in the graveyeard(insert judgement here) I knew something was wrong soon after. I felt sick so i told him i thought i was pregnant. He paled and asked if i was would i abort it. I instantly said no because i dont believe in abortions. After that night things got weird. Me my mom and my brother went to Tennessee. Driving up the mountains i felt sick to my stomach which i brushed off as carsickness. We get back from our vacation and i started craving the weirdest shit like frozen hot pockets, whole packages of cheese ect. I caught myself randomly thinking about having a baby and got scared. I ended up having my older family friend get me a pregnancy test and surprise surprise i was el prego. I cried for about 5 minuets before shutting down. I didnt know how to feel i was only 14. I called and  told Damien that night and he was as shocked as i was. Later on he told me he started crying after we hung up. So a few days later i went home and told mom. She wasnt as mad as i thought she would be. She refused to let me give the baby up for adoption because it was my mistake and i had to live with it. I dont think i couldve done it anyway. No one really understands how attached you get to the little baby inside you. I believe the same day i told the rest of my family. My grandma didnt talk to me for a couple of months. I had an aunt who told me i needed to give it up for adoption because i was gonna ruin the babys life.I had another aunt not let me see my cousin Bri for atleast 6 months which hurt so much. Me and bri are like sisters we’ve been almost inseperable ever since we were little which is funny since shes younger than me. Damien was determined to stay in the babys life and not leave no matter what. Me being pregnant at such a young age wasnt easy. I lost most of my friends and began homeschooling which was terrible. The nine months of me being pregnant was basically filled with me fighting with my boyfriend getting insanely jealous, cheating, and more sex. We shouldve left each other months ago. Looking back i shouldve left sooner. It was a toxic relationship for both of us. 9 months later my baby boy was born. Mister Phoenix. My angel. It was kind of ridiculous damien and i fought even in the hospital. We brought phoenix home and i was hoping the relationshup would get better. It didnt. I caught him sexting his ex and swore to break it off with him. I didnt. I swore to myself i wasnt going to let my baby grow up without a father. In july 2015 we moved 45 minuets away. Damien came on the weekends because my mom picked him up and took him home. That laster all summer until school started and he couldnt anymore. It seemed like us being apart made us fight even more. By november he broke up with me. Now i was 15 and a single mother. I was devasted. I had no one to turn to since i didnt have any friends in my new town. I was alone and began eating my depression away. Every month on the 11th i would sit down and cry. I wasnt in a good state. By 2016 i swore to myself id move on from Damien and become an amazing mother but it was so hard He kept popping in every 3 months or so flirting with me making me fall for him over and over again only to get crushed over and over again. It was a hellish cycle but honestly im glad i went though it. Why you ask? Well simply because every time he left itd give me more reason to stop liking him and even hating him. Now he texts me and i just roll my eyes. Going through that definately helped me move on. He wasnt there for any of the birthdays and i honestly am glad. I understand its my kids father but i grew up with a dad who lived in the same city and still couldnt come see me. I dont want my baby going through that. Once hes older i plan on explaining everything and giving him a choice of whether he wants to get in contact with his father or not. Itll be completely up to him. Now before you start judging me to hard think about this. I became a single parent at 15. The father never visted his son or even asked. Hell this january was the first time he saw phoenix in Two years. Two thats ridiculous. After the very awkward encounter he hasnt bothered asking to see him since. Its hard for people who dont have kids to understand this i know but i know what im doing is for the best. This sunday is going to be his 3rd birthday and his father came up with stupid excuses as usual. Now i know i left out some stuff but some of it is hard to put into words plus if i added anymore itd be unbelievably long. So this was the begining and current i guess. 14 and pregnant. 15 and a single parent. currently almost 18 and still doing it bymyself just a little better. Thats all for now. Ill probably make another one soon about relationships while being a single parent so yeah. Peace.

[pokefanbri]

"Home is where the heart is" I dont have to tell you where that lies. But its only part of the pain. I know in my heart I'm a good person, but my life has been in shambles since I was young. Theres many like me, that dont deserve the life they were given & yet somehow persevere through it just to survive & try to be happy through the pain.

How I ask do I deserve not to be happy. I feel there was no justice for me, I was dishonorably discharged lol. I was truly happy where I was, but even if i were to travel place to place...that is also in my blood, not just the place I resided.

I was at home, I was at peace, I truly loved everyone there & every second. But do I dare go there again, absolutely in a heartbeat. But this is what kills me, Part of me says "this is your life now, accept it, push through even if u can't" the other part of me says that ill be white knighted with a bust through the door like the kool-aid man & he says "sike, yea i fucked it up & didn't realize I had something special, will u forgive me" 😅

But i know that could just be my imagination & im overthinking again. But where actually is my life headed? I have a good heart, i care so much about those thats affected me even in a bad way...but maybe that's God's love showing right through me, because I forgive easy & help those that need it. My brother says that a "helper" is equivalent to a partner in crime & all aspects, a soul mate. He throws the word around with this subject, but he's also trying to find his forever helper which he believes is the mother of his 1st born children. Thats great, given the right circumstances & if her situation was better, yea they could probably try.

For me, caring & trust is my biggest downfall. Because i do so much for others b4 myself, I end up taken advantage of or at least feeling like it. Even if its not the case, the wrong thats been done to me all my life..made me this way. I cant help that. And to find someone that I trusted fully, only to find out that I couldn't. That breaks a person like me down & actually hurts to the core. I didnt deserve that, but it was the disservice that was thrust upon me without a 2nd thought. I wasn't given the proper chance to love someone because they refused to love me back & yea most of the time it was about them...but thats a leo for ya 😅

When someone shares it mutually, everyone wins, you're complete, u have that "helper" you've been longing for all your life. The good times that were shared, the humorous banter, doing something for the other just cuz u can & cuz u want to, showing eachother off to friends & family like "yea thats my babe right there" as if to say they were happy u were there,the best friend & sidekick that everyone needs...it was all gone in a blink of an eye. Leading on my heartstrings, making me fall harder & harder, the friendship to the end even, all for nothing. But because of all the positives, thats what gets me, it's why my pain is so confusing. Why was it all like that if not on purpose whether for a positive reason I have yet to understand, to make it easier for them not to deal without regard for the others feelings, or cause God making me suffer more through it to make me stronger...when I thought I was done with low struggles already.

Idk man, I just dont understand. But because of what my life has been like over the past half of the year, all the positives makes me want more...because I never got all of him in the 1st place. I always wanted more because he held himself back & on purpose. So maybe it did seem like attachment, but only cuz I longed for the same feeling in return & didnt give up trying to find it..literally any sign of it. I was trying to figure his sweet ass out & learn what kind of person he really was lol, so I could accommodate to him more especially in the last weeks I was sweating my ass off 😆 I was dedicated so much I was willing to change what wasn't liked on the outside. Like I wanted to do so much to keep the best thing i had, cause deep down I knew his old feelings fizzled out quick & I just didnt understand & I still dont. I mean I guess I understand if he wasn't ready for a commitment? And that's fine, but he committed b4 & when I was brought there. What is it that was so wrong about me, that negative thoughts festered so much about someone it makes u think someone else is the problem, when its not the case at all.

Theres nothing i can think of, nothing else i could've done to show my worth, that I wasn't a waste of time. Maybe I pushed too hard? But in those last few weeks I gave space & focused on myself & my tasks at hand with so much more effort to have some kind of a chance, to save what was precious to me..save someone else that couldn't rise up on their own. & i blew it somehow. I was told i settled, but that was the point from the beginning that we both agreed upon. I think it was just that the other was getting comfortable with someone around & it scared em..to where they couldn't do all they wanted in life along with dealing with someone else at the same time. Or possibly felt 1 or the other wasnt good enough for the other & felt inadequate or unequiped. And searching for someone else to fill a void they already had at home, thats another thing that befuddles me. The last time I saw him, it didn't look or sound like he cared, avoided eye contact til he drove off & my heart sank even more as I knew it might be the last time I ever saw him. I was too pissed & in the heat of the moment flipped him off til he was out of sight, but after...i wanted to die right then & there but my best friend was there & we were on a deadline just as he was. If I were alone & my friend wasn't there, I'd be sobbing in that parking lot for hours til someone found me.

They, he, had it all but lost it due to their own negligence, in my opinion.

I mean come on whats not to like about me that didn't go hand in hand with what they were searching for.

The perfect heritage to match his (Templin Germany the 7th largest region) with some jew blood, same interests & hobbys, outlook on life, the lucky number, a good & gentle soul with a love for God. Passion for travel, soft spot for bald eagles, the dream of becoming a parent 1 day, intellectually & gamer gifted, both loves BLT sandwiches...because i da snack too 😏, both have the same middle name but spelled differently & 30yr olds with same hs class year, I have 3 hansome brothers & he has 3 beautiful sisters. I mean Dafuq? Lol. We're total opposites & literally residing NE to SW of the country, 1 grew up well the other not so much...yet we still were able to find eachother....somehow? Bro how about u try the other half of the yr here, 6 month equivalent & finish 2020 the right way huh lol BET 😂 oh man. A girl can dream though can't she?

I have a college writing level & training in business, musical theater, massage therapy (which was the fav), veterinary tech college training in hs, 7 years of choir under my belt since 5th grade including after hs in multiple churches & my choir teachers wedding. I Iove animals, likes to paint, great with technology, listen to music & sing along to every word almost exact, family oriented, a gaming & content creating wizard, passion for helping people, can organize & clean the shit out of anything, can be the boss when i feel the need as well as the spunk & charisma to push forward at any given task. I can multitask & can get shit done if I set my mind to it, if there's something or someone I need to feel purpose to be my best self, yea & if I'm accepted, that's purpose enough right there to get my ass moving.

Yea, jumbling alot of shit in my early life made me crack under the pressure but only cuz i really went over the top & burnt out. But ive relaxed alot since then & am treated for my ailments, ive learned to do things to pace myself now to prevent a psychosis from ever happen again.

Ive said this b4, there was 1 other that also broke up with me...1st time it ever happened the other way around mind u, was also a Leo.. shocker lol. After only 3 months & of me saying the L word too quick...it was what finally broke me, what added ontop of everything else. I was living in my own apt since hs & after school a yr later at 19..he lived in the same apt complex & worked where i did. We hit it off really well & loved talking to eachother at work, almost the same humorous & smart personality with a passion for gaming, dead ass great driver, skinny & ample where it counted, & yea also a weed enthusiast 😅 all of it pretty much the same as the recent one in my life. Honestly thinking about it now they probably would've been great friends lol. Thomas was his name, but I was in a relationship at the time of meeting him as well. But I didn't pursue anything til that relationship blew up in my face just cuz my current bf's grandfather was my boss & saw how well Thomas & i got along as friends, associated it with cheating, & that was that. Tom could be mine after all lol, chips fell into place on their own after he professed his feelings to me on his MySpace blog so damn smoothly lol 😂 Saying there was a girl he liked, i commented on it, he asked me out, that was trap lol, but it worked lol. The chemistry was 🔥

But yea, we had alot fun together & he was completely chill with me. But after it ended it set something off in me. Ended up in a psych ward for 2-3 weeks, little did I know he was worried sick & had no idea where i was or how to visit. I wasnt allowed to have my phone but the persons number I knew by heart, was the previous guy b4 tom, the chubby aloof dumbass that was my 1st love lol. Tom hated him with a passion cuz this dude wasn't a man that treated me fairly, pushed onto me by his family for me to take care of, shelter & feed him mooching off of me & taking advantage of a comfortable place to live at 1 point. When i was in the hospital, my 1st was the 1 to pick me up. When I got back from the hospital I learned of how tom was worried & he gave me a big hug. But by that point I was back with the 1st...somehow that happened & I actually don't remember what brought it on cuz my memory throughtout those weeks was dowsed in medication...but Thomas was the one heartbroken instead of me this time cuz he actually did want me back, the fact I took this other guy back over him, a person he despised...was terrible to him & he severed all ties, moved away. He broke up with me, technically it was okay as so i thought to see someone else regardless if it was an ex or not. i didn't know I had another chance at all.

But anyway, the difference between the 2 leo Ts, 1 let me in completely, cared about me as much as i did for him in same way & the L word too soon is what did it in for him after 3 months 🤷‍♀️ The other T well..unfortunately 1 sided for the most part despite how well we clicked, i was faithful & the other tried not to be after 3 months & hid things due to his own insecurities, pulling me along for another 3months when I didn't have to do jack for him at all after that point, but I did. I might've said the L word too soon with him as well idk. But because I'm a different person than I was then, there's no psychotic break...its just the depressed feeling of defeat with the mix of the longing i still have for him.

Wtf is it with T names & the number 3!? ffs! 😫 Briana Leigh Templin BLT, Bri Loves...whoever Tfuk 🤣

I cant write anymore today, I gotta leave tomorrow. My brother wants me to work for him instead & make more money, in a team that would be like in an office space, basically an assistant but making calls & checking in with clients within his real estate, solar, etc businesses.

But idk, I just got my foot in the door with something else. If I let go of that, for something that could or could not be bad for me, then what do I do? Neither of them sound any less stressful, bryans idea however earns more money & would have me dealing with stuff I like to do in regards to skills maybe? Idk man, idk. It'd a tough call.

My point in writing this, nothing accept to show how much I thought he was perfect for me, just as he originally thought about me. These are all thoughts going through my mind, get them out of my head. To talk openly the way I am, its therapeutic. But I miss him so damn much, not sure when this feeling will go away. I still love him & even dare I say trust him,even through his lying ass faults & idk why, i shouldn't but i do...thats the powerful effect he had on me. Still waiting on the last promise to be friends, im giving space, venting here instead of to him cuz i wouldn't want to be that much of an annoyance. I was going to include more but it'd be dark & negative,& im not about outing the worst in people especially if he was a good guy for the most part...no that wouldn't be right, probably deserves it to be honest..but no. I still wanna do right by him. That's all for now

[missjackil]

Time for Some Dean Meta

I don’t normally meta on Dean, but I think he has a whole lot going on and I want to share my thoughts on it.  Ill start with my theory as to why he is content on counting Mom as dead, and why he burnt Cas’s body. I feel like he feels done with the whole dying and coming back to life thing. Ill flash back to when Bobby’s wife came back from the dead, and Bobby had to kill her after a few days. While she was on the pyre, Sam says “Wll you got to spend a few more days with her, that must have been nice” and Bobby said “It makes this about 1000 times worse” I feel like thats where Dean’s head might be at. If theyre gone, let them be gone forever, so I never have to do this again.  Along with that, he needs to blame someone, and Jack is getting the brunt of it. Jack didn’t kill Cas, Lucifer did, but Jack is Lucifers son, which makes him guilty in Dean’s eyes. So now everything thats happened since LOTUS and everyone theyve lost is because of Jack, or at least that’s how Dean is seeing it right now. So now we move on to 13x3 and Dean is even more harsh than he had been. He even went as far as to accuse Sam of using Jack for his own needs and pretending he cares. Of everything in the last 3 episodes, this here is what I find most OOC  If anyone knows Sam doesn’t pretend to care. if he shows care, it is because he genuinely cares. In fact, in 13x2, Dean told Sam he’s getting too attached, so he knows Sam cares and maybe cares too much. So why this accusation? My thoughts below the cut 

I feel as though Dean is projecting onto Sam what he is realizing in himself. With Cas, Mom, and even Crowley, Dean only called them when he needed something. In the 9 yrs he’s been friends with Cas, I dont think he ever spent time with him, just to spend time with him, outside S5 when he wouldnt let him die a virgin, and that “You’re our brother Cas” talk with him in S11.He would call Cas when he needed help with a fight, or Sam was sick, or missing, maybe call him when they need to be healed, but never just to hang out. Crowley and Dean werent friends in that capacity, but Dean always had a soft spot for him, even early on when Sam wanted to kill him as soon as look at him, Dean would be the one to calm Sam down. By S10, and Demon Dean, they had some weird frienemy thing, but still, Dean would call him if he needed him. Mom was the same actually, Dean was angry and uncomfortable when she was being anything but his mother.  The drunk angel in 13X1 told him he was “Becky” someone who uses people and their things, and breaks everything and thinks its ok because its his/her world. Honestly, i dont think Dean means to do this at all. I just think he gets caught up in whats going on that he gets self obsorbed. However it has been mentioned a couple times throughout these later seasons, mostly by Crowley, that The Winchesters have a habit of using people, then they end up dead when they dont need them anymore. Thats really not a correct assumption, but it would appear to an outsider that they do this. But dont think for a minute that either Dean or Sam wouldnt be there ASAP if you need them. They definitely would. But even in the case of Benny, once Dean was topside, they only communicated if Benny needed Dean, or in the case where Benny was suspected to have killed people. Dean finally used Benny to save Sam when trapped in Purgatory.  Of all the relationships Dean has had, his relationship with Sam stands out. He’s the one person Dean likes to do things with. He calls him constantly, they enjoy hanging out together, they both want to retire together, or die together, and well into their 30s, they want to live together. On that same note though, Dean takes his hostilities out on Sam. Seasons 11 and 12 seemed to have ended that but we see now, it hasnt gone too far. My opinion as to why Dean gets so hostile with Sam, we need to go back to Seasons 1 and 2. They argue amd bicker through S1 but its pretty benign and theyre both dishing it out. In S2, its different, its more Dean losing his temper. I think, when John died, Dean wanted to take up where they left off with the family business, but expected Sam to fall in line like he did. Sam is fine with Dean leading the hunts, but he isnt gonna let Dean lead every aspect of his life, and there wont be any “yessir” I think this hurts Dean. Not so much that he cant make Sam do what he says all the time, but because he himself always did what Dad said, and he didnt have to.  If you listen to Sam explaining Dean to Jack, you can understand why Sam still thinks the world of him dispite the anger and hostility. He knows Dean means well but he gets scared, angry, frustrated, and his wires get crossed. This doesnt prevent Sam from being insecure at times, he knows Dean loves him.  Im not into demonizing either brother, or excusing all their behavior. They do definitely have a psychotic, irrational co dependency, and right now theyre very frustrated with each other. We saw Sam reading Drama and the Gifted Child, and having it turned to Depression and Grandiosity, two points of denial, On the surface it appears to be for Jack, but I bet he’s taking it in for Dean as well. Maybe 12x4 and the trip to the Family Therapist will do them all some good.  A girl can dream :)

[animmania]

Bendy and the ink machine sorta review.

bendy and the ink machine. alot of people have props been seeing its name going around lately and might not know what it is. sum up. its a horror indie game about a cartoon chacater coming alive though ink and you the player have to find out why everything thats happening is happening. thats the basic sum up.

i very much like this game alot and im really happy  to see it getting so much love. but alot of people dont like it and seem confused on why its getting so much praise . and i think thats an intersting point. one day it just showed up and got populaor. but why is that?? well i think its for a few reasons but ill get to them. ive been wanting to make this for a bit so im bascally going to cover as much about the game as i can. from story to game play. so lets start with a better look at the story. note the game is in chapters and i will be spoiling most things in the game so just a heads up to stop reading now if you dont want to be spoiled

CHAPTER 1 MOVIING PICTURES your name is henry a cartoonist who is coming back to his old animation studio after getting a letter from an old friend saying he wants to show you something you look around and find an ink machine. not knowing what it dos or what its for you of course decied you need to turn it on and see what it dos. after finding some iteams to "sacrafice to the gods". once you get them and turn on the machine the place starts to flood with ink and bendy appears. an old cartoon character that used to be famous. think mickey mouse and such. but someone trying to bring him to life made him into a inky black monster.. you run away and make it to the exist but you fall for the floor. after finding an axe you break some boards then reach a demonic circle and pass out after seeing some images.

CHAPTER 2 THE OLD SONG After passing out you wake up and and pick back up your axe. after some more wood chopping you find your way to the music department of the animation studio.here you find another exit but since the ink machine is going the exit is flooded and you cant get in. afetr some exploring and puzzle solving you eventually find out about sammy. the head of the music department and how the exit flooding was something that happened alot becuase of the ink machine. so they installed a ink pump in the exit that would get rid of the ink in the exit. you go to his office press the switch and as your about to leave your hit on the head and knocked out. turns out its good ol sammy. after being locked down there for so long and trapped by the ink machine he has gone mad. he wishs to be free and he thinks giving you as a saccrafice to bendy will do it. he ties you up and is about to sick bendy at you when suddenly bendy turns on him and off screen kills him. you get loose and grab your axe and start running until you run into the ol fool him self BENDY. he gives chase and you outrun him locking him the door. so now your safe but just as things get calm you hear a noise around a conor and behold. its boris another cartoon character that was made for bendy but he is more finished and not as monsterish looking as bendy thos in the game. then it cuts to black and it ends

and thats it for now. no other chapters are out.

now the story isnt anything ground breaking yes but its also not horrible. its a basic plot and it gets the job done. there are a few more characters i could have mentioned but they really dont matter all that much to whats going on. they are mainly for lore and to make it seem like this place used to be well run. ill let you guys find out about them if you decied to get the game your self

ok with the story done lets talk about the look of the game which i think is the best part about bendy and the ink machine.

given its about cartoons and such every thing has a very old cartoony look to them. from the walls to projectors every thing screams classic cartoons and its great they did a great job mixing the cartoony style  with 3d objects making it all seem natural. the lighting is also very good. using alot of yellows i noticed and using it to highlight things like doors or places that you might want to check out. the game also has a bunch of posters every were of bendy the main character and other cartoon characters. now there isnt alot of them so your most likly going to see alot of the same ones alot which isnt the best but it dos have a plus side ill get to later . the only thing id say is an issue with the look of everything is. stuff like the floors while do look good are pretty flat. most of the ground is made out of floor boards and it all looks flat. i think having some stick up from the ground slitghy would have been a bit better but its only a nit pick

but now what would a good looking game be without good looking characters to such as bendy. a small lil demon cartoon character. he was the face of the whole animation studio and boy it shows. his desgin is really simple yet really nice to look at and from an artist stand point very fun and easy to draw. he also has all the classic cartoon things. the big cloves. the dot eyes with the cut in them and  a bow tie. something else to note is he has no neck. not really sure why that is but its honestly nice. makes him stand out honestly which is good for a main character

the next character is boris. very goofy like being a doog person...thing. hes very cute and you see him from time to time in the game in full 3d. his model is very nice and he fits very well into the look of everything else.

finally we have the new cartoon character that was added in chapter 2 alice angle. her disney is meant to be a sorta oppiste of bendys i think. being an angle instead of a devil she has a slightly different look and is actually a human instead of a cartoon animal . her disgn seems very betty boob and minny mouse inspired. having some boob but still maintaining her cartoon look.with bendy arms and gloves and all. its worth to note she has a hole in her hand which i dont really understand but sure it looks nice

every other character in the game dosnt have a look besides from sammy. sammy being a person covered in ink wearing a bendy mask. there isnt alot to say about him other then i think he needs a bath.

now were onto game play. this is where i think most people start to spilt into the two groups of loving this game or hating the game. each with good points

the game is first person with the basic controls walk and look around. its worth to note that in chapter 2 they added a jump button and a sprint button. dont know why they didnt have them in chapter one but what ever. also on a short note the jump in this game dosnt really do much but it dosnt have alot of sound which makes it seem off. you dont need to jump so its not a big deal but its something that bothered me . you also have a attack button which is for swinging your axe at things in your way and enemys which is where issues start to come in. swinging the axe is fine but hitting things is another story. when ever i swing it i can never tell when im going to hit something. ive been right next to objects and swinging and it would not break and id have to start aiming at them in different angles till i found the hit box. i havent played chapter 2 but after watching a few people play it it seems the same goes for the enemys but not as much. now the enemys i think are the weakest part about the game so far. for 1 they arent really scary and dont really fit in with the world. they are just geniric looking sludge monsters  with no real features. and fighting them seems really unsatisfying. they go down with one hit and the sound effect sounds like your stepping in a puddle. also they arent really something you have to worry about. it takes like 12 of them to be able to kill you and even still as long as you dont run head first into them they will never kill you. but do be careful becuase if they do kill you you gotta start the chapter all over again . that is pretty bullshit.

then we have the other part of the game play which is looking for iteams and solving some puzzles. now alot of people hate these and i do understand. looking for iteams isnt that fun  but i dont think its all that bad. you get to look at all the details and find some secerts along the way. plus the areas you have to look in arent even that big so it wont take very long to find what you need.

now thats pretty much all the game play but theres another thing i want to talk about which is the music. now for as much as id love to say buy the soundtrack i really cant. besides from one track which i liked called *Hellfire Follies* all the songs seem like genirc horror music youd find anywhere. Hellfire Follies is the best mainly becuase its so different from the rest of the songs and also fits really well into the cartoon aesthic thats going on. the only other song id say is really good is the one that plays when your next to the projector playing a small animation of bendy in chapter 1. but its not in the soundtrack for some reason and i cant find its name any where.

so thats bendy and the ink machine. so what after all that is said and done those bendy desver to get all the praise it gets?? or is it just a over hyped game that isnt that good. me persnoally i really like. despite all its issues i still had fun playing chapter one and looking at all the detail and watching all the play thoughs of chapter 2 just made me love it more. if you came into the game with high expctaions thinking your going to shit your pants in fear your going to be dissapointed. a common issue ive seen come up with the game from people is that theres no real looming fear . no monster constally chaseing you or enemys that really make you scared. and those are fair complaints. but i think thats not all that bad of a thing. bendy and the ink machine is more of a game that wants you to get sucked into its world and wants to scare you with its tone and setting rather then with monsters or the fear of dying. i think the best way of looking at bendy and the ink machine is. dont think of it as a action horror game. but more as a puzzle horror game.

also despite it not being that scary its such a unique horror game. a game with such a cute cartoony style clearly taking insipation from old school disney. not alot of horror games like that out there which is way i think people like it so much. its just so nice and new. plus it not being that scary i think opens it up for alot of people.

its sorta like a lite horror game. something i think which could be a good start for people that want to get into horror games or horror genra as a whole but cant handle big things like lets say outlast or something.

but i think the best part about the game and what made me so in love with it is the commmuinty. the meatly the maker of the game trys so hard to be active in the community and dos so much for people who enjoy his game. even to the point in letting them chip in with art contest for the chance of getting thier art in the game with posters or so many things. and even reaching out to youtubers who have taken the time to write whole songs for the game and added them into the game as easters eggs which is just so cool. taking part in it is honestly is nice and seeing all the nice cool people in it makes it such a joy to be apart of . if i played the game and never even looked at fan art or all the community events id  honestly not be that intersted in this game and would have worte it off.

if you dont really care about that kinda stuff then it wont really matter and the game might not leave that much of an impact but for me it makes me want to get more into it because its just fun.

so thats my kinda review of bendy. hope i made some sense haha. and meatly if this some how finds your way. thanks for making such awesome games. keep up the work man

[flyingcookierambles]

forgot if i already talked about it but i guess i honestly didnt like wolf children/boy and the beast that much lol and i think i finally figured out why

ok so ill have my original post and short convo i had with this one guy and then write about my feelings after those two that provide some context.

ok real quick so wolf children and the boy and the beast are both from award winning anime director mamoru hosoda!

wolf children has a single mother with 2 kids who are werewolves/shifters since they can change whenever they want. she’s a widow because her husband was walking around the city in wolf form, scared ppl, and got killed by animal control in tokyo. she and her kids move out to the rural boonies on a small homestead where she farms and stuff so that her kids can have space to be their wolf forms and run around without fear.

the boy and the beast has a human child fall into the hidden magical parallel furry world and get raised by this beast/bear furry? i...forget what his adoptive dad’s species is lol, sorry its been a long time since ive seen the movie.

spoilers for the ending but. here.

wolf children - yuki, the daughter, decides to stay in the human world with her mom and go to high school. ame, the son, decides to live his life as a furry/wolf boy protecting the forests.

boy and the beast - adoptive father sacrifices himself for protag, fuses spirits/hearts/whatever with protag so that they’re not really separated even in death, then the protag and dad defeat the antagonist and the protag decides to stay in the human world with his human girlfriend.

soooo. yeah. the movie ends with the families splitting up and the two cultures of mundane humans and magical creatures separating forever.

(og post) original post from my kitsu:

“ok, so like after watching wolf children tonight, im left with a bunch of questions and, idk maybe i dont understand the ending, but like. what. i also have a copy of the boy and the beast and watched it a while go. and like. i feel like, out of his two movies, they were overall very good. however, the endings always leave me with a ton of questions and mixed feelings? is mamoru hosoda just going to be “that guy” for me? you know, “that guy.” like, he’s an ok dude but you have mixed feelings about him? is it still worth watching his other movies, the girl who leapt through time and summer wars, at this rate? idk???? edit: …. i realized i also borrowed mirai from the library, am i going to watch the whole thing and then be like. what.“

response to this one guy, pseudonym:

I didn’t like wolf children and while I overall enjoyed the boy and the beast I did feel it was lacking something. Give summer wars a go though as in my opinion it’s easily his best film, that said I haven’t seen Mirai.

my responses:

“ that’s interesting. hmm im trying to figure out what i didn’t like about his endings for these two movies and i think it might be the whole separation thing? but the weird thing was that i didn’t mind the family separation thing in maquia, another family drama oriented anime? so idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ????? what about you?”

pseudomym:

“I haven’t seen Maquia. It’s been a while since I watched either film but I just remember Boy and the beast feeling generally a little uninspired and wolf children feeling hollow having nothing going on but cuteness and idealization of the mother character that I couldn’t get behind. It also fell into the annoying and well worn trap of insisting the daughter come to terms with her wolf side as necesary but the boy’s arc is to go reject his humanity and abandon his family to live in the woods as a young teen and the mother learning to accept his really stupid decision. Fuck that, thats a shtty life decision and it should be treated accordingly.”

my response:

i agree with some points! like, i get that the mother was a hardworking single mother who needed to give her kids some more freedom and also isolation in life to hide the whole werewolf secret, but when ame was just like “imma drop out of elementary school,” and hana was ok with it, i was just staring at the screen like “no, why are you letting him do this?” i feel like my issue with the boy and the beast was that ren decided that “humans and monsters need to live in their own world,” and left forever when i was thinking “no man, you can have both, work in the human world on weekdays and just go back to the monster world on weekends or something, you have basically nothing in the human world but this random girl you met and whatever the japanese version of the GED is.”

so. after thinking about it. literally for a few years. i realized. the reason i don’t like these movies, or at least their endings, since the premises sounds interesting enough for me to try them. is probably because im projecting my own weirdo complex identity issues on them. (own ramble lol) (other ramble on kitsu) (transracial tag on main) (racial imposter syndrome with NPR’s Code Switch) (all mixed up what do we call people of multiple backgrounds, also on NPR’s Code Switch)

so. as you can hopefully see. i. am currently in a pretty big identity/culture crisis. and. i think that the endings of these movies rubbed me the wrong way because their solution was to choose one over the other. like. there’s no room to try to make it work, to try and have a balance between the two worlds.

as mentioned above, in wolf children, why the heck not try to make it work? be a furry forest protector and still visit your mom because you’re in the same area. in fact, ame is literally the stupidest kid/literal elementary school drop out because, instead of trying to help the forest with actual laws and such because bc, its sad but let’s be real, capitalism and bulldozers can affect the forest more than one kid trying to larp as the big bad wolf of the forest. and you know how ame could’ve tried to protect the forest in a more substantial way? literally just. finding a balance between the human and magical werewolf/animal world and becoming a botanist/biologist/ecologist/forest ranger. someone who can bring some actual solutions to fixing issues in the forest with science. instead of like. “feeling the forest vibes” or whatever the heck was even happening there.

and then also as mentioned in the boy and the beast, protag-kun leaves behind all his childhood friends and the ppl who helped his adoptive dad raise him, practically his adoptive aunts and uncles, behind for a random girl he met, his birth dad and step family, and whatever a japanese GED is. like. again, why not try to make it work? have two cultures????

you dont have to choose one over the other!!

i’m sure that mamoru hosoda didn’t mean to be like. idk. insensitive to people of mixed races/cultures, etc., esp. since japan is not a very racially/culturally diverse place so he probably didn’t even have this mindset when making these movies, but the message in the movies’ endings that you have to pick one culture, country/world, family, etc., over the other because they’re just too incompatible is just. absolute bullshit. do i care that they’re werewolf and magic furry world culture? no, i think you can and should still try dude.

like. i have. a bunch of intersectional race/culture/adoption issues, but am i going to try to have some balance and learn about all of them and live with them? yeah????? do you realize how stupid it is to me to think about like. having to pick between cultures???? its just like. to me, picking one over the other would be like forcing me to stay with white americans or just like. go back to china. like the boy and the beast protag did or someshit????? like???? i can try to balance them??? tisn’t that the whole point of like. chinese american/ immigrant created mixed culture/experiences, esp. for ppl like me who are transracially adopted and have complex life experiences???? wtf??????

like. i would love to learn more about my birth country and all but im not going to be an absolute dumbass like the boy and beast protag and move to another world/country just because “its where i’m from” or “i have biological family there.” i cant speak the language, i’d leave all my friends and family oceans away, how the heck would i even live??

anyways TL;DR - as a person with some complex feelings about identity, and culture, and a person greatly interested in intersectionality due to my lived experiences, mamoru hosoda’s movies and their bullshit anti-intersectionality messages, again most likely unintentional but my brain read it as this, make me not like his movies.