#which was great for the health of my long term hearing my ears were ringing LIKE CRAZY for a LONG TIME after night one

[statementlou]

Last Requezt, Paolo Nutini cover, SF 2-4-25 (download here)

[pitaparka]

when you sleep with him for the first time headcanons

note—it gets a little suggestive during oberyn's part, but nothing too crazy. i use sleep here in it's purest form by the way, so enjoy! let me know if you have any ideas for the next one! me and the boys are open to suggestions ;)

MANDO

- mando has always allowed you his bunk to sleep, whenever you like

- when you stayed with him on the razor crest and watched the kid, he was always more than willing to give it up anytime you needed sleep

- he didn't sleep much anyway, and usually your sleeping schedules didn't overlap

- but boba fett's ship doesn't have much space to begin with, let alone enough space for all of the crew mates he's happened to find recently

- which mean's you and mando, having already been living together and already know each other, were sleeping together, in the same small bunk, at the same time

- he offered to sleep on the floor, or pressed up against the wall

- but you got mad at him for even suggesting such a thing

- there was more than enough space for the two of you to sleep, you argued, though there was barely enough room for one

- it was comical, trying to press up against him, and find a spot comfortable enough for the both of you to lay

- it was jarring to you when he removed a single pauldron for you to rest your head on his clothed shoulder

- you felt like you had violated him in some way, seeing him just the lightest bit more bare than usual

- though you were slightly uncomfortable from the rest of the beskar pressing up into your body, you were lulled to sleep in minutes from the sound of his steady heartbeat

EZRA

- the cots had never been a long term solution

- that you knew

- so when the morning comes around, and your cot drops your ass on the floor, you wish you gotten new sleeping arrangements the last time you were in town

- you were just wishing it had taken longer for them to fall apart the way they had

- there wasn't much on the green, in terms of furnishing markets

- the cots had been the only barrier between you and the floor, and now, there was nothing protecting you from the frigid, uninsulated ground of your broken down ship

- it was ezra who offered up the idea: put one blanket down on the floor, and use the other one to cover the both of you with

- you took a second to ponder it, thinking of any idea, any reason that could be used to save you from having to sleep next to ezra, the man who had been so warm and kind to you, but you had frozen him out, because of your ridiculous crush on him

- you offered up the idea of just disassembling the cots and using the cloths as protection from the cold

- but this wiseass pulls out the cloth from the cot and his blanket and compares the two, and there's no way the cloth is going to have any integrity making contact with the ground

- so you agree, and when nightfall comes, you're too exhausted from harvesting all day to fight with him

- he puts his blanket down as protection, and you all but collapse on top of in

- ezra does you the service of tucking you in, before climbing in next to you, and you're soothed by his warmth

- not soothed enough that you fall asleep immediately, still unnerved by the idea of sleeping so close to him, hearing him breathe, feeling him move

- but he throws his good arm over your body and pulls you into him, muttering something about the cold

- and your heart melts just a little bit as you fall asleep, pressed up against his chest

FRANKIE

- frankie had been upset for weeks after his divorce, which was to be expected

- but everything had been so stressful on him, and you were getting worried for his mental health

- he hadn't been answering calls, he'd cancelled plans with you last minute, which is something he never did, and he hadn't been doing anything for himself, just living in a rut of paperwork, sleeping, eating, and going to work

- so when he calls you up to ask you to go camping with him, you obviously say yes

- it's almost a two hour drive to the campsite, and frankie is fairly quite, which isn't usual, but you get some good music going and some good conversation going, and soon enough, you and frankie are laughing and singing your heads off on your way there

- it's getting dark when you arrive, and you make quick work of getting everything out of his car when he realizes something is off

- "oh no" he exclaims, and you fear the worst

- "what? what's wrong?"

- "I brought the small tent."

- "how small is the small tent?"

- "i brought the four-person tent, not the ten person tent."

- "are you kidding frankie? i'm sure we'll fit in a four-person—“

- "i'm telling you, it's not as big as you think it is, trust me."

- when the tent is complete, four-person is an exaggeration

- it's a four-person tent if the four-people were sardine packed and the size of children

- it's going to be just enough room for both you and frankie to lie down in with your sleeping bags

- but that's for a later time, because frankie has marshmallows to roast and lots of things to tell you after he's been ignoring you for a whole week

- he apologizes and you sit next to him at the firepit on your site, and you listen to him talk, and give him advice, and rest your head on his shoulder

- and when it's late into the night and you two go to retreat to bed, you have to squish up against his broad shoulders that seem so much broader in the small tent

- and when he wakes with nightmares of his fighting buddies and far too many sleepless nights, he pulls you close to him, and falls asleep again, until the sunlight streams through the front flap of the tent far too early in the morning

WHISKEY

- that day’s mission was harsh

- it had you spent, not only physically, but mentally as well

- as you lie awake in your bed, you realize you’re not getting to sleep tonight, whether or not you had another important mission that morning

- the hotel bed was creaky and entirely not your bed from home and the air conditioner was broken so it was freezing

- you figure there’s no better time than the present, and you’re well aware whiskey is right next door

- if he’s awake, you’ll ask him to have a drink with you, and if he’s asleep, you can just hop into bed with him

- he’s a deep sleeper anyway

- you’re careful turning the knob into his room, just in case he’s asleep, and you spot him in his bed, on his side, breathing softly, room cloaked in darkness

- you come around on his side of the bed and you whisper his name

- he stirs a little

- you debate going back to your room and just toughing it out, but he doesn’t give you the chance

- he’s up, groggy and hair tousled and in just a plain t-shirt

- “sweetheart? what are you doin’ here? what’s goin’ on?”

- you tell him you didn’t want to sleep alone tonight, and he wipes the sleep from his eyes and squints at you, using only the moonlight to help him see

- “what kind of gentleman would i be if i refused you my bed?”

- this makes you smile, and he lifts the covers for you to get in with him

- you plant your head on his shoulder and drape an arm over his chest, cozying up to him as close as possible

- his hand rests comfortably on your back, and he breathes rhythmically

- and you’re silently grateful he doesn’t ask questions, just lets you curl up into his side ands lets you fall asleep with him there

JAVIER PEÑA

- it happened in a flurry of passion and kisses, hands roaming his body and yours after a far too close dance with death

- if it had not been for his bulletproof vest, he'd be lying in a hospital or a morgue

- but he wasn't

- his body was warm and so was yours and the ride to his apartment was far too quiet for your liking and his

- it was only appropriate you accompanied him for a drink after such a great victory for the DEA, but it had taken a toll on both of you, mentally

- you more so than him, which is why you ended up drinking much more than you normally would have when you drank with javi

- he tried to laugh away the stress, complaining about his sore and bruised ribs, but the room was still tense

- emotions ran rampant through your body, and when he brings it up, tears start to pool in your eyes at the thought seeing him for the last time, in a suit, at his own funeral he wouldn't attend if he had the choice

- he sets his drink down and pulls you into his arms, holding your waist and cupping the back of your neck, stroking behind your ear as he listens to you cry softly in his shoulder

- he reassures you he's fine, nothing happened to him, and you pull away from him, grab his face, and stare into his eyes

- he smiles kindly at your own red ringed eyes, irritated from crying, as you try to memorize each streak of brown in his own

- it's too much for the both of you, and you pull him into a kiss

- his mouth is surprisingly soft compared to your own drunk passion, and as much as he'd love to take you right then and there on his couch, he knows he'd regret it if you woke up the next morning and regretted it too

- so he entertains the kiss, not that he minds, and leads you to his bedroom

- where the silk sheets and heavy comforter that smell so strongly of javier peña pull you to sleep next to him, faster than you'd like to admit

MARCUS MORENO

- missy and your daughter had always gotten along very well

- you were very familiar with marcus, and could even call yourselves friends to an extent

- your daughters were very intelligent little girls, and knew that if they got the two of you talking when you came to pick your daughter from his house, they would have at least another hour to play while you two chatted endlessly about boring adult things

- for missy's birthday party, she had wanted all of her friends over for a huge sleepover, and of course her father caved

- he couldn't say no to her no matter how much he tried

- marcus, the genius he was, figured that if the kids were all under one roof having fun, why not let the adults have fun too?

- everyone was invited

- the kids would have lots of different fun activities to choose from, from swimming, to games in the backyard, and a movie night under the stars outside

- and the adults were welcome to stay, chat, drink, and play adult card games marcus had saved for special occasions

- the night of the sleepover, a dozen children and adults were packed into his backyard, watching some new movie he had rented the missy was excited about

- but it was freezing, and you hadn't expected to be outside for so long

- marcus realizes this and he leans over quietly, so not to disturb the movie

- "are you cold?"

- "oh! no, it's okay, i'll be fine—“ you try to excuse yourself, but he gets up without a word, and returns with a sweatshirt of his

- it fits snugly over your head, and completely eliminated the chill in your bones

- it doesn't take long for your eyes to start getting heavy, and soon enough, you're passed out on marcus' shoulder

- "what if we camp out here for the night?" he suggests, and the kids are more than excited

- the adults know what he's up to

- but they let him anyway

- it'll be great to tease him about later, and besides, you guys are adorable together

MARCUS PIKE

- working together with marcus was always a joy

- he was always very respectful and funny

- you knew he had his heart broken more than once in the past, so even though you dropped hints that you'd want something more with marcus, you let him take it at his own pace

- when you dropped by his place that night, with important new documents you had received right before you left work and chinese food, you're ecstatic when he lets you in

- you spend hours pouring over the documents, making sure every single detail was covered and examined, when you realize how tired you are, and how loud the rain is coming down outside his window

- "it's getting really late. i should leave," you say, but marcus stops you

- "you could always, y'know, stay the night if you wanted. i'd let you have my bed."

- you smiled at him, but politely decline, as you wouldn't want to kick him out of his bed, but you yawn again

- "look, you're exhausted, and it's pouring" he points out, "you know most accidents happen by people falling asleep behind the wheel when it's raining?"

- you laugh at him

- "you just made that up,"

- "i did, but you should stay. if you don't want to i totally understand, but you'd be missing out. my bed is really comfortable."

- "is that why you're always late to work?" you quip, and close the files

- he gasps in mock shock

- "that was one time, and my alarm didn't go off," he claims, smiling at you

- he lends you a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt and you pretend to not see a slight blush on his face when you walk out into his bedroom with them on

- marcus was right when he said his bed was really comfortable

- somehow, in the middle of the night, you two find each other, his face pressed into your shoulder, your arms wrapped around him, and the rain comes down even harder

MAX PHILLIPS

- "i just need some space from him, is all."

- that's all you had to tell him for max phillips to be on your side, rubbing your shoulder and telling you that all men suck anyway, you didn't need that jerk of a boyfriend to be happy

- well, now ex-boyfriend

- of course he had ulterior motives, and you knew this, but you didn’t care

- your heart wanted someone to watch movies with and eat a pint of ice cream out of the tub with you, and if max was the one who would do that, you’d settle with him for the night

- the way he pulled you into his arms, and pressed his body up against yours, was more than comforting

- he made funny jokes, tried tickling you, anything he could think of to get you to smile for him

- and for the most part, you did

- you were sick of your ex bringing the mood down the way he did, no matter how much you missed him

- the movie has gotten boring a long time ago, but you listened to max’s breathing, and felt his chest rise and fall behind you, and it was enough to lull you to sleep

- and he would’ve woken you up, to take you to his bed, but he was scared you’d leave to go home if he did

- so he took his couch throw, pulled it over the two of you, turned off the television, and settled back as you got comfortable on his chest

- this was a side of max phillips you’d never seen before, and you didn’t expect to see any time soon

- so you relished in it, and let sleep pull you in

MAXWELL LORD

- his head aches, and his eye is still bleeding on the plane back to washington d.c.

- the ride back is silent, save for the rumbling of the engine

- he rests his head against the wall of the airplane for most of the ride there, and you take comfort in knowing while he’s asleep, he’s not in pain

- when he starts getting restless, having what you think is a nightmare, you start holding his hand, stroking your thumb up and down his soft skin

- it takes him a minute, but he calms down, and you don’t let go of his hand

- with nothing to do but watch him sleep, you decide taking a nap too would be your best option

- which is when the plane hits a particularly rough patch of turbulence

- he bounces awake, nervous and alert, and you tell him it’s just the plane, everything’s fine

- when you pull him into your shoulder, he takes the opportunity to fall back asleep

- you can feel the tension in his neck just by having him rest his head on your shoulder

- you keep a firm grip on his hand, when your own eyes start to get heavy

- your head rests on his, and the rest of the ride there is smooth and painless

OBERYN MARTELL

- he had been pursuing you for quite some time

- as the second son of a king, he was more than accustomed to people saying yes to appease him

- he was forward with you, and you were forward back with him, and he liked that

- it was your words that told him you weren't looking for anything long term, that if he were to pleasure you, and you him, he would be nothing more than a simple one night stand

- boy did he prove you wrong

- your legs were so weak afterward, you couldn't bare to get up

- he took incredibly good care of you, squeezing your sore thighs and rubbing your aching muscles, pressing kisses up and down your back, brushing the hair out of your face

- it only increased your attraction to him when he brought in more people, caring for them and having them care for you, and by the time you had finished, you felt as though you couldn't physically go another round that night

- he purred in your ear that every night with him would be a night like this, and you whined back, making him grin and capture your mouth in a passionate kiss

- you didn't mean to fall sleep with him, but all the nibbling bites at your ear and the serotonin coursing through your veins had you spent for the night

- he let you sleep, and even stayed for a while before being summoned for an important meeting

- you made a mental note that eventually, you two would need to do that again, because you slept like a baby the whole night through

PERO TOVAR

- it's below freezing when you settle down for sleep that night

- no matter how much wind the tent tried to keep out, it just wasn't enough

- you're bundled up in all the clothes you had brought with you, the only blanket that could be spared, anything that could try to keep you warm, but nothing’s working

- the cold just bleeds through the blanket and your clothes, into your legs and chest and bones so that you can’t fall asleep if you tried

- you figure the only way you’ll be able to get any rest to be ready for the next day, is to go find a warmer place to sleep

- if the fire’s still going, you’ll rest there

- you shiver as you pick up your things, but your interrupted by tovar, who comes in with a thick fur blanket wrapped around his shoulders

- “where are you going?”

- “i was just going to sleep next to the fire,” you say, trying to keep the chill out of your voice

- “it’s going to be cold tonight. lay down.” he instructs, and you oblige

- he lays the blanket down over you and climbs underneath it next to you, so that your shoulders touch and watch him for a second before he turns over and tries to go to sleep without a word

- you pull the blanket up to your shoulders and you feel ten times warmer already, but it’s the heat from tovar that really entices you

- so you push back against him, your back against his, and fall asleep with the warmth of his muscles against yours

[narsh-poptarts]

I came here to tell you that your art is amazing and AAAAA I love it so much!! Your Angry Sky honestly made my day

Also, I don’t know if you’re still doing the “ask me about Sky” thing but if you are...what are your thoughts on the silent realms? I don’t see enough Sky content related to them but to me they have so much angst potential??? And also are a proof that Sky didn’t have it easy at all during his adventure?? Idk I find them very interesting

aaaaaaa thank you so much!!!!! honestly every tag and every message yall send me just makes me so happy, i’m so glad y’all are enjoying it!!!! :DDDD

OH BOY THE SILENT REALMS!!!!!!!!!

YEAH you’re right!!! there’s not a lot of content there!! lucky for you, this is also another topic from Skyward Sword that I have thought extensively about, I have many many headcanons for what the Silent Realms are like.

okay first of all, the Silent Realms are a very unique kind of think in the LoZ series. The concept itself is repeated a couple times but the reasoning WHY is different. Usually link has to go through trials in multiple different games to prove himself and his courage or whatever in order to get the master sword or other such very important item. and then in Twilight Princess (it did come first but whatever) you have those light trial things? i don’t remember what they’re called but you collect the tears of the Light Spirits and they’re all trapped in bugs or whatever. So the basis for the trials or their main mechanic is not a new concept.

But! what is very interesting and unique is, like I said, the reasoning WHY Link has to go through these trials. in botw (this may be wrong, i haven’t played it), you have the trial of the sword, basically a big gauntlet to improve the sword and prove your worth, in addition to the “you must be this tall to ride” thing with your health. but that’s about the sword. in TP, the light trials are about restoring light to the land. they’re not even really trials, and iirc, there’s not,,, really trials for TP. i may be wrong.

anyways, what makes SS different is that it’s specifically about upgrading your spirit. the Hero’s Spirit. Link never has to prove himself to the sword because,, well, the damn thing is his companion. in the zelda timeline, he’s one of the first heroes ever so there’s not even a Hero’s Spirit to have because he hasn’t made it yet. same with the Master Sword. 

so therefore, no other Link has had to create or upgrade their Hero’s Spirit. It’s simply not a thing they’ve had to do because Sky did it all those millennia ago. One and done, cool and awesome. He has a uniquely different and alienated experience because he set the foundation. Probably feels alienated from the others because he never had to prove himself to the sword, and then because of the prominent upgraded spirit, got them easily and recognizably cursed (thanks Demise).

SORRY i realize i just went on a related-but-not-your-question tangent, but now to the actual Silent Realms themselves :D

so, in terms of what I think Silent Realms are like.... first of all: terrifying!!!! If my own playthroughs of them are anything to go by, Link is terrified out of his mind!!!! no weapons, no items, no Fi, you’re completely on your own, you have a time limit, and you’re being LITERALLY HUNTED. and god, that music when the Guardians wake up is actually a heart attack, botw guardians have NOTHING on these bad boys.

From the inside perspective, I imagine the Silent Realms are just that: silent. not dead quiet, not still, silent. There are no sounds in the Silent Realm, not even a ringing in Link’s ear. and also these trials are a test of the Spirit. the body stays behind. This is a plane somewhere within the overworld, a layer formed from many. There’s no air there. They’re spirits, and entities, they don’t need it.

And having no air is a little disorienting at first, hell being a spirit is a little disorienting at first, but Link finds it a little cool, not feeling the need to breathe and not being able to feel air move in his lungs when he does.

And when Link is safe, whether by standing in that first safety circle or by virtue of collecting a tear, it doesn’t feel calm. Calm is exactly the wrong word because calm is flying out on the open air with your loftwing. Calm is sitting, for just a moment, on a stool to regain some health (and maybe take a nap). Calm is not whatever this is. This is like sneaking through the sleeping dragon’s nest, or feeling the chill of a graveyard, or walking down a dark alley at night. Every inch of link is telling him something is very very wrong and he is in danger. and, to be fair, he is.

Now for when the guardians are awake, it’s like a bomb of adrenaline and panic goes off. He doesn’t hear anything but he can feel them coming, feel their presence just behind him, ready to take him down, ready to make him fail and start over. He is a trespasser, taking pieces of an ancient spirit and make it his own, and he is hunted for sport. every inch of him, every screaming inch of him is crying desperately for him to move, run, flee, desperately grab at the next tear, we don’t have time, we’re going to die. screaming screaming over and over, a pounding in his brain like war drums, a sharp, painful insistence out of desperation to survive.

He can’t hear them coming so every other sense goes into overdrive, and he can feel where they’re coming from. The screen in the game actually has pulsing rings at the edge of your screen to indicate that there’s a guardian off screen right over there (which is a very cool indication imo!) and their intensity indicates how close they are. it’s like this sense of dread goes into overdrive in a desperate attempt to keep him alive and he just knows by feeling it that “don’t go that way, you’ll die”

And dude, do you know what the official explanation is for when you fail? the wording they use is “your spirit will shatter”. Shatter!!! that’s gotta hurt!! what do you think it feels like to have your spirit shattered?? Luckily i think both for gameplay and the story itself, if you’re determined enough, you can retry as many times as you like.

but i imagine, for the sake of drama, getting your spirit shattered has Link shunted back into the real world, clutching at his chest in pain, heaving and crying as his spirit stitches itself back together piece by piece until he’s ready to try again. It’s not a pleasant experience.

and speaking of coming back, i imagine actually succeeding isn’t all that great either. the silent realms are silent. there’s no sound at all. coming back to the real world and suddenly getting hit with the sound of the wind and the birds and the ambiance and the sounds of your clothes and the sword and your heavy breathing and too much too much too much!! I imagine it’s very overwhelming. the silence is not a pleasant experience so Link is very glad to have sound again but it’s just too much at once.

you’re very correct anon, there is a lot of angst potential here. i’ve really wanted a Skyward Sword manga or something like that for so long because I really wanna know how the Silent Realms would be interpreted. 

also i’ve kinda got a fic idea were basically Sky has to end up doing the Silent Realms again while on the LU adventure because something something Hero’s Spirit is messing up and he has to reupgrade it. and it’s bad and traumatic and the other boys have to watch as each instance (there’s four of them by god) just leaves Sky an utter mess and they don’t know how to help and he won’t tell them what’s wrong either or what exactly happens in the trials to get him to react so badly when he gets back. i don’t have anything written down but basically “Sky doesn’t know his own limits and won’t ask for help” the fic.

also oh boy this is long, sorry

[utterlyinevitable]

Doctor D’Ora

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x MC (Becca Lao) x Ethan Ramsey x OC  Word Count: 2.3k Warning: angst angst angst  Summary: Becca spots Ethan with a new lady friend. This takes place in OHSY about a month after Ethan returns from the Amazon.  

A/N: This was meant to be a chapter in the Trials & Tribulations series but I didn’t think it fit anymore and wanted to post this fic as-is before I destroy it. 

________________________________________

He met her on location. The long brown hair, inquisitive green eyes, long legs that held her frame in perfect posture, and a faint minimalistic dove tattoo on her wrist. In another life Dr. Alessandra D’Ora could have been a model. She was brilliant and supportive - a great companion in the lonely Amazonian nights. Just like him she was in her late-thirties, and worked at a private practice in Ontario, Canada. Ethan Ramsey was grateful for her company every one of those sixty lonely nights on location - Alessandra was the perfect distraction from his thoughts. 

And now here she was in Boston. 

Two weeks after the end of their mission with the World Health Organization she was sat at the table across from him, describing her newest adventure; She’s spending a month guest lecturing on socialized medicine at Harvard Medical. 

Dr. Rebecca Lao passed by the window of Alessandro’s and saw the two - her boss and sometimes lover sharing a meal with a stunning woman over delightful conversation two tables away. She stopped in her tracks. They looked so comfortable together. At ease, even. Becca noticed the way his shoulders curved in relaxation much like when they were alone together all those times ago. 

There in the damp August evening her heart broke. Ethan was smiling, the crows feet around his eyes on display for everyone to see. Ethan rarely smiled. If she didn’t know him better, she’d be convinced he didn’t have any cracks in his features and his life was devoid from any sort of happiness. But there he was in that navy sports coat, its only purpose to compliment his gleaming eyes, smiling with someone else, laughing at her jokes. He was happy with someone else. 

How long have they known each other? Is this new?

Becca ripped her gaze from the deceiving window and pushed the thoughts away just as quickly as they infiltrated her mind. Ethan had abandoned her without a trace all those weeks ago, she didn’t owe him another thought. He made the executive decision to sever their intimate relationship, so she made the decision to keep him away from her life outside the hospital. 

Becca headed home, abandoning her takeout mission. If he had moved on so could - should she. She pulled out her phone and rang the second most used number in her contacts recently. 

He picked up on the second ring. 

“Have you eaten?” Becca asked without pleasantries.  

“I could go for some dessert,” she could hear the megawatt smile through Bryce’s playful remark.   

“I’ll be over in ten.” 

*** 

Becca started spending more time with Bryce outside of his apartment. They weren’t necessarily hiding their relationship, they just didn’t know what to call it. They were casual. They were friends. Friends who had intimate benefits at the drop of a dime. It wasn’t a secret, but also no one bothered to ask about their title. Bryce hated labels anyway, they didn’t fit with his go-with-the-flow demeanor. 

They started spending more time outside of the bedroom and the comfort of the walls around them that let them simply be. With every passing day Becca and Bryce grew closer and bolder in their advances. They’ve played footsies in the cafeteria, kissed for hours on the grass in the park, shared plates at Don Luigi’s, and intertwined their hands at the coffee shops by the hospital. 

Today they were sitting in the corner of Derry Roasters, Becca’s go-to for a caffeine fix. Cuddled close together on a half-booth with their backs to the wall and shoulders touching. They were specifically sat right under the overhead speaker which drowned out the world around them and made Bryce’s whispers even more erotic. He’d gotten cocky in the last few days, slipping his hand up her thigh, whispering all the ways he wanted her with hundreds of passersby around. 

This time his whisper brought a chill up her spine, it wasn’t what she expected to hear during their brief coffee break. 

“Hey, look. Dr. Grumpy’s on a date,” Bryce called her attention to the attending sauntering in. 

Becca’s deep brown eyes watched his every step carefully, silently hoping he’d look over to her deep in Bryce’s embrace.

He never did. His eyes were solely fixated on his companion. 

Dr. Ethan Ramsey glided over to the table Dr. Alessandra D’Ora had been sat at. She rose when she felt his familiar presence not too many footfalls away. He gave her a hug and Becca unnaturally stiffened under Bryce’s arm at the sight. 

“They look friendly,” Becca whispered. 

Bryce’s eyes were still dissecting their movements. It was a sight to behold - strict and lone Ramsey was joined by someone and not just anyone, an absolutely stunning woman. “Do you think they’re friends or friends?” 

“Et- Dr. Ramsey doesn’t have friends.” 

“Hm… looks more intimate than just a business lunch. Wanna find out?” 

Bryce rapidly stood up, grabbing Becca’s hand and dragging her briskly through the seating area. They were moving so quickly Becca couldn’t keep her shorter legs in pace with him, when her hand slipped from Bryce’s she felt off balance and collided into the corner of an empty table with a thunk! Bryce spun on his heels to make sure she was okay and backed right into Dr. D’Ora waiting for her order. 

Once he was positive Becca wasn’t in any imminent danger he turned back to Dr. D’Ora. “So sorry about that,” he apologized as he steadied himself and the unknown doctor. “You okay?” 

Alessandra expertly took in his green scrubs and badge as Bryce flashed her his most flirty smile. “Quite alright, Doctor…?” 

“Lahela. Bryce Lahela.” Bryce ran a hand through his hair, a move he was well aware most women couldn’t resist. Becca came over to the pair and he winked at his favorite accomplice, “Should really watch where you’re going, Becks.” 

Becca rolled her eyes. 

With a sparkle in his kaleidoscope eyes Bryce sent his most charming of smiles to the stranger, “I didn’t catch your name?” 

“Dr. Alessandra D’Ora,” she placed her wallet under her arm to free up her hand to shake his outstretched and waiting one.  

“Pleasure to meet you, Dr. D’Ora.” He gave her hand two good shakes before letting go and pointing to the awkward doctor beside him. “This is my girlfriend Dr. Rebecca -” 

He didn’t get to finish the introduction.  

Ethan’s deep authoritative baritone voice rang like warning sirens in her ears. “Rookie. Dr. Lahela. Don’t you have patients to attend to?” Her cheeks began to flush in mortification.

“Just on a break, Dr. Ramsey,” Bryce smiled, “Who’s your friend?” 

Alessandra looked between the three of them, noticing the unaddressed new tension between her friend and the doctor he’s spoken about on many occasions. “You must be Dr. Lao,” she outstretched her delicate and manicured hand to Becca. Out of courtesy Becca obliged. “Ethan told me about your excellent diagnosis of Dr. Banerji. Well done, you must be very proud.” 

“I’m just happy Naveen’s alive and well,” Becca smiled before tugging on the back of Bryce’s scrubs, “We should get back.”  

“Bye, Doctors. Enjoy your date!” Bryce called over his shoulder as Becca all but dragged him away. 

Once they were safely out of the eatery Becca let herself relax and her freckles break free of the blush. “I can’t believe you,” she laughed uncomfortably.  

Bryce laced his fingers with hers and tugged her closer. “Hey - we learned that Dr. Ramsey has a hot lady friend and he talks about you.”  

“And that I’m your girlfriend?” She thought they had an arrangement, they were meant to be a carefree and no-commitment zone. Introducing her as his girlfriend was a shock.  

“Well, yeah,” he shrugged. “You’re a girl and you’re my friend. If you were a man you’d be my manfriend.”  

Becca rolled her eyes, “Uhuh.” 

“Take it however you want, Becks. I’m just happy you choose to spend your free time with me,” he pecked her temple before they entered back into Edenbrook and went their separate ways. 

***

Later that day as she was packing up her things to leave the office after the mid-week diagnostics briefing, Ethan called behind her; 

“Lao, a word.” 

Becca’s eyes went wide. Her and Ethan really haven’t been on the best of terms since he pushed her away the last time they kissed. The closest they’ve gotten to their past level of normalcy was when they were doing a house search for the Lamar Stevenson Case - he held her when she slipped and then with both their knowledge and a bit of banter they solved the case. 

With arms folded and a critical eye he inquired, “What was that back there?” 

Becca decided then and there that the best way to avoid this awkward conversation was to play coy,  “I don’t know what -” 

“Whatever you and Scalpel Jockey were doing, don’t,” he defensively interrupted her lame excuse. “My personal relationship with Dr. D’Ora is not hospital gossip.” 

The way his shoulders were squared, all his walls were on display and the way he was talking down to her burned a fire deep in her core. “Who is she?” she mimicked his stance and tone.  

“A friend.” 

“You don’t have friends,” she challenged, folding her arms over her chest. 

Ethan let out a long sigh, knowing he’d have to give her something. He didn’t want to fight with Becca anymore. He owed Becca some sort of explanation. He didn’t know why but he felt he needed to tell her. 

He rubbed his hand down his face as he said, “We met on mission. Friendships happen when there aren’t any bars around.” 

Becca took a second for his words to settle, piecing the puzzle together out loud. “You met her in the Amazon... When you were trying to forget your feelings for me...” she tried to mask the betrayal forming in her throat and creeping up into her features as best as she could. “Did it work? Did she help you move on?”

The tension was built up so high around them that neither could move from their positions only four footfalls away from one another. 

“What are you doing with Lahela? Don’t think I haven’t noticed your… closeness,” he spat back. “Are you his girlfriend?” Ethan’s brow was raised high to the sky and blue eyes clouded over with a storm of regret.  

“Whatever we are isn’t of your concern. You made that decision for us. You pushed me away.” 

“I sure as hell didn’t push you into his arms!” 

“No. But you made it explicitly clear I can’t find solace in your arms,” she bit back. Becca’s chest began to heave. Her mind was telling her she needed to pace to muster up the courage to say all that needed to be said, however her feet were stuck there in that spot. His intense gaze paralyzed her, and just looking at his face she adored so much arguing back at her, Becca internally screamed at herself. She assembled every ounce of courage in her frame to retort, “I can’t believe you. You’re meant to be holier than thou, the epitome of a moral compass. Why are you such an ass?” 

Ethan’s nose flared and eyes hooded at her words. 

They stood in bitter silence staring one another down. He was a statue boring down at her shaking and rageful form. The world of emotions coursing through her veins evident in the way she balled her fists, callusing the skin of her palms with her fingernails. Her brown eyes squinting trying to keep tears from falling and giving her a much-needed release. The loose strands of hair at the crown of her head are the only thing moving with the natural rotation of the earth. 

Ethan broke the trance first going to sit down on the couch. 

Hunched over with his head cradled in his hands he breathed ever so softly, “She has a private urgent care practice in Canada.” Tugging at the roots of his hair he tried to keep his voice level and calm. “We were on mission together. She’s guest lecturing at Harvard Medical. We’re just colleagues.”  

Becca was rightly skeptical, “Like we’re just colleagues?”  

“No. Strictly professional.” Ethan finally looked over at her. If Becca stood closer she could see the faintest marks of red in the whites of his picturesque eyes. “Her wife is really supportive of her work.”

Becca’s mouth dropped. 

Ethan watched as the woman ten years his junior slumped into the seat next to him, letting her knee brush against his as her hands followed suit to cover her face in embarrassment. 

“God. I’m an ass,” she sighed.  

Ethan’s shoulders loosened as he involuntarily let a small chuckle slip through his lips. “Yes, yes you are,” he agreed with a smile and shake of his head, placing his hand on her thigh and giving it a reassuring squeeze. 

“Sorry,” Becca mumbled. 

He was mesmerized by the feeling of her heat under him, taking him back to all those times he held dear. “I’m sorry… for everything.” 

Her hand found his. “I know…”  

They couldn’t catch a break. Everything between them was always so complicated. For another moment they let themselves sit in silence, a more comfortable silence where they could simply be Ethan and Becca, not attending and fellow. Just two people finally being honest. 

Ethan was the one to shatter the comfortable bubble they’ve found themselves in.

“Are you dating Lahela?”  

Becca shook her head to herself. “We’re friends. Really good friends.” It was the truth. Bryce was her best friend, they did everything together. “I should get going,” she gave Ethan’s hand a squeeze before removing it to rise up from her position. 

She was halfway towards the door when Ethan spoke, “I’m going to Evelyn’s art exhibit tonight. Do you want to come along?”  

________________________________________

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[marvelfansince08love]

The Pleasure is all mine  Chapter 3 - Part 2

Word Count: 1831

Pairing: Lou Miller x Fem!Reader.

Setting: Continuation from chapter 3 part 1.

Warnings: Pure Fluff to be honest. 

A/N: As if I’ve uploaded another chapter in the space of three days, is this the new me?... probably not. I hope you enjoy the chapter! I had to do a little bit of research for this one. Attempted to proofread however fell asleep after doing a 12 hour shift - go me! so I do apologise for any grammar or spelling mistakes. I spent way too long trying to make the format perfect but alas Tumblr wants to see me suffer.

Your comments/ feedback brings happiness to this potato trash! 🖤

Tags: @waitingfortheendtocome @natasha-danvers @5aftermidnight @iamheartless @deadly-darling​ @gaylorrds 

I do not own the gif below!

Chapter 3 - Part 2  

Holy shit!

"I'm sorry, I thought for a second there you said you were a con artist. I didn't realise we were in a movie" I say sarcastically. Her lip quirks up slightly but her eyes stay locked with mine.

 "You can't be serious! Is that why Debbie was shot at?!" 

 "A group called Python have been collecting Breitling Chronomat watches worth over 8million a piece in exchange for 18k white gold #rings with over 250 brilliant-cut diamonds in each one. In shorter terms they are worth more than the watches to these guys, apparently the ringleader has ancestors who inherited these rings which were stolen and auctioned off. It's known that at least four of those rings are based right here in New York in our very own Cartier store. We scanned them, made some of our own. it was supposed to be a simple exchange but something went wrong. A gun was pulled - the poor kid was only young, I guess he panicked. Probably didn't want to go back to his boss and explain how he lost the entire set of watches worth more than his life as well as being outwitted by a woman. She was lucky he was such a crap shot" 

I gape at her in utter shock. 

"I think, I need a glass of wine" I whisper mainly to myself, but Lou hears and goes to stand. I watch her carefully, taking in her rigid posture her eyes darting back towards me as she heads to the kitchen.

 Probably to make sure I don't run out on her again.  

She walks back over with a big glass of white and places it in front of me, instead of sitting back on the edge of the sofa occupied by Debbie she perches on the edge of the table, so we're knee to knee. She reaches forward and takes hold of my hands keeping them in-between both of hers. 

"I know this is a lot to take in and trust me, that job was dangerous, and we don't normally work that way. It won't be happening again, but I at least owe you an explanation. I understand if after this you never want to see me again, I totally deserve that after putting you through this" her hands tightening around mine, I finally look up and see her eyebrows pinched in a frown, her eyes glossed over. 

I gently remove my hands from hers and take a big gulp from my glass before putting it down and reaching over to cup her jawline. My thumb caresses her cheek, she leans into my touch just a fraction - her eyes closed.

"You promise me that in future you tell me exactly what's going on. No secrets Lou, I don't want this sort of thing dropping on me again because if that's the case I'm afraid I can't be with... around you" my words strong and clear - completely the opposite to how I'm really feeling - scared and unsure. Her eyes open showing me those beautiful crystal blues, with a small smile on those delicious lips.

 "Okay"

 I grin.

 "Okay"

 *** 

After what seems like hours of talking, we finally reached an understanding. With all the serious talk over with, we gradually move on to lighter topics - mainly Lou asking about me. 

"So, you are telling me you decided to become a Nurse after your brother ripped the arm off your most precious teddy, if that doesn't scream childhood trauma" she smirks teasing me. I blush at her smirk and gently shove at her arm which causes her to stumble back slightly making her laugh.

 "Yes! I ended up stitching him back up and nursing him back to health, thank you very much" I laugh along with her, we hear Debbie stir from the sofa across the room. We both turn to look at her resting peacefully and with no signs of fever.

 We chuckle quietly before a yawn escapes me. Lou sees me yawn before standing up and put her hands out for me to take.

 "Come on you can crash here tonight, I'm sorry I didn't realise how late it was. Fuck! you've been on shift as well, I'm an awful person"

 "It's okay Lou I'm used to it but seriously I can go home, I'll get a cab" she's already shaking her head at my proposition.

 "Not happening, its 2 in the morning Y/N you can sleep in my bed"

 I raise an eyebrow at that.

 "Don't worry we're both adults here I'm sure we can share a bed without ripping each other’s clothes off Y/N"

 "Who says I want to rip your clothes off Miller"

 She smirks devilishly and steps into my space, making me walk backwards until my back hits a wall. She places her hands on either side of my head and leans in close until her nose brushes lightly against mine, her lips almost brushing against mine. My breath hitches, my eyes drawing to her lips.

 "Cheek - but we both know this isn't the time or the place" there's an agonising pause and then:

 "It really isn't, so could you horny lesbians take it to a private room away from my poor innocent ears. Hearing this is worse than being shot at"

 We both jump apart and turn towards Debbie who is now sat up taking her next dose of medication. I feel my cheeks redden in embarrassment. I can't believe we almost got caught like some horny teenagers.

 "Is the offer for the bed still available" I say quietly into Lou's ear who seems to be preoccupied staring Debbie down.

 "Of course, first floor, second door on the left"

 I say a quick thanks before sliding away from Lou's side and towards the stairs.

 "Good night Y/N thank you again" Debbie teases all while staring straight back at Lou with a grin. I blush even harder if that's even possible before muttering a good night while taking the stairs two at a time.

 ***

 Once I've washed my face in the ensuite bathroom I turn towards the large bed in the middle of the room; Lou's bed. Before I can think more about the bed arrangement, Lou appears against the door frame of the room.

 "You can borrow some clothes if you like? I have some shorts and oversized shirts"

 "That would be great actually" I stand awkwardly by the bed, watching as Lou goes towards a table of draws. She passes me the pieces of clothing and stands with her arms crossed.

 I raise an eyebrow and twirl my finger around indicating for her to turn around. Her hands come up in mocking surrender before turning around with a wide grin.

 "Are you always this cheeky or do I get special treatment"

 Her shoulders shaking indicating her laughter.

 "Only for you, love"  

 I grin softly and quickly change into the clothes I've been given. The shorts stop mid-thigh while the old band t-shirt flows just above the knee. I decide last minute to abandon the shorts seeing no use for them.

 Besides the shirt covers what it needs to and showing a little bit of leg never hurt no one.  

 "You can turn around now"

 With her hands still up she turns back around, once she sees me standing there her hands drop to her side, her eyes dropping to the bottom of my feet and slowly making their way up - taking in my form. Her eyes darken, I see her swallow hard before she shakes her head.

 "So, I normally take the left side as it's closer to the door. You're welcome to the right side of the bed though"

 "Shouldn't one of us stay with Debbie? I don't feel comfortable leaving her by herself"

 "Don't worry Tammy came down just after you left, she's going to stay with her. I did try to get her to go back up, but she refuses to leave her side. I'm surprised she even let us keep her away for so long"

 "Oh, oh"

 "Yeah" she says with a smirk amused by my realisation.

 You couldn't have gotten it more wrong, nice move L/N.

 "We should get to bed, I'm sorry again for keeping you up. I promise I'll make it up to you" she says, making her way to her side of the bed. I reluctantly make my way to the other side and slowly make myself comfortable lying on my back facing the ceiling. I feel Lou shift around trying to get comfortable, from the corner of my eye I notice her lying towards me the soft glow from the streetlights lighting up her face - just enough to see those crystal blue eyes and that signature smirk.

 "So, do you want me to stack a few pillows in a line between us or I could make us a fort"

 I chuckle quietly before turning onto my side so we're facing each other. Her hand reaches forward, her fingertips brush gently across my cheek; brushing my hair out of my face.

 "So beautiful" she whispers. I bite my lip gently and drop my gaze - suddenly feeling very shy.

 "Downstairs before - if we weren't interrupted do you think you would have done it"

She smirks softly, a glint of amusement in her eyes.

 "Would have done what, love?"

I roll my eyes playfully knowing she's making me say it.

 "Kissed me"

 Her playful demeanour changes to something more serious.

 "Is that what you want Y/N, for me to kiss you?" There's a pause while I debate my answer.

 "Yes"

 Before I have a chance to continue Lou leans forward, her hand still resting gently against my jawline and brushes her lips against mine before pressing firmer deepening the kiss. Her lips are soft, the taste of cherries and wine. I moan softly at the feel of her lips against mine but before I can take it any further Lou pulls away reluctantly. I look at her in confusion, suddenly scared that I might have taken it too far. She leans her forehead against mine and presses a light kiss to my nose before brushing against it with her own lightly.

 "As much as I would love to continue this, I really want to take you out on a date"

 "A date?"

 "Yes, it's when two people who really like each other..."

 "I know what a date is, smartass" I chuckle at her playfulness and her stupid grin.

 "So, will you? Go on a date with me"

 "Yes, I'll go on a date with you" with a big grin I lean forward and kiss her cheek softly. She smiles a proper smile before putting her arm around my waist - pulling me closer. Her lips brushing against my forehead.

 "Good night Y/N"

 "Good night Lou, sweet dreams"

 Closing my eyes, I drift into a deep sleep, thinking about those soft lips and crystal blue eyes.

[fangirlingincamouflage]

Blind Hope Chapter Six

Title: Blind Hope Author: Rosie Dayze Word Count: ??? (I can’t remember) Pairing: Nick Jakoby x Reader Chapter Rating: PG-13 Themes: Angst, Plot, affectionate frustration Disclaimer:  I do not own Nick Jakoby, he is the intellectual property of Netflix Originals. I make no money from this fanfiction. TW/CW: Descriptions of pain, long term hospital stay Previous Chapters:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

You Are Here

Chapter 7

Looking back, it was easy to ignore his messages for the first two weeks. You had work to get lost in and pain meds to dull everything. Between your cracked ribs, the stitches in your head, and fielding calls from people who meant well but took up too much energy to talk to, it was pretty easy to act like you had every intention of responding to Nick, without ever actually getting around to doing it.

"I'm awake," his first message said. "They said you already were released. What happened? Are you okay?"

It hurt. It hurt to read. It hurt even more not to respond. But you did it. You told yourself it was for the best. Being with you is what got him hurt in the first place. Sure, you could blame bigotry, and you'd be right, but that doesn't erase what happened, and that you were at the core.

"I know what happened was scary. Please, just talk to me." Another message says. "I just want to know you are safe."

You don't respond to that one either. You know what you'll say. You will tell him that you are perfectly okay. That it's fine. Just a scratch. Sure, your head got busted open and you are on some impressive pain killers. And yeah, you have to change the bandage twice a day because stitches are no joke, especially those on the head. And sure a chunk of hair is missing from where they shaved it to put said stitches in place. But does any of that really compare to what he went through?

"I'm okay if that's what you're worried about. It looked worse than it was."

You know exactly how bad it was. It wasn't like you just gathered your stuff and left after Nick's mother stopped in and delivered her bomb of truth. In fact, once the shock of her words had worn off you'd gotten yourself pretty riled up with a lot of thoughts that centered on how-dare-she. You'd gathered up[ all of your things, and stormed up to the Intensive Care Unit, you'd argued with a nurse, you'd begged and pleaded until they let you in to see him. And, if you are being honest, compared to Nick all you had was a scratch. Tubes were shoved up his nose, forcing him to keep breathing while needles fed him medication and hydration. The natural blue splotches on his skin did their best to hide the bruising, but it was too easy to see that the damage had been done. Gone was the coppery vest, all he wore was an ugly hospital gown and medical tape. One eye was swollen shut, one hand looked like it had seen the wrong side of a hammer. Or, more likely, a boot. He'd whimpered when you'd touched him, in pain despite being pumped full of who knew what.

That's when you had decided that Elizabeth Jakoby had been right. Being with Nick would have been selfish. Yes, he made you happy. Yes, his kisses made you light up. But was any of that worth the pain it put him through? No. Of course not. You needed to leave. And you needed to cut the relationship off. He'd get over you. He'd find a nice orc woman to settle down with. He'd be happy with his garden and his badge. He didn't need you. And he certainly didn't need another trip to the hospital.

So you called June and let her mother you into bed, and promised yourself that no matter what messages Nick Jakoby sent, you'd just ignore them. Sure, you knew it was bad form to ghost him. But you also knew that if you tried to actually break it off, it would kill something inside of you. Some tiny glimmer of hope that there were still good people in the world.

Those first two weeks were easy. They came before the new flower delivery, and the card that only had "I'm sorry," written in his hasty, blocky script. And then came the uber eats driver delivering from the Indian place you'd had your very first date. And then came the movie tickets and a little notecard saying "I'll be here, at seven this Friday. I hope you will be too."

You made yourself sick throwing the ticket in the garbage. You'd even poured week-old leftovers on top of it to keep yourself from digging it out. That night you invited June and her wife over and the three of you watched cheesy movies until dawn, if only to keep you from dwelling on where you rather would have been.

You got your stitches out. You were given a clean bill of health. Your hair grew back. Two weeks turned into two months, and then into half a year.

You went on dates. Some weren't too bad. Somewhere horrible. But no matter how nice the date was, or where you went, all you could think about was sharing a loaded waffle with a guy who saw the greatness in the universe. All you could do was reach up and feel that scar on your forehead and wonder 'what if?'.

"This is ridiculous." June flopped herself down on the couch. She was wearing her favorite orange and yellow pajama set. She had a plate of chocolate cake in one hand, and a fork in the other. She was eating her feeling since the love of her life was out to sea again. It made for a good excuse to buy a cake and have a sleepover. You are pretty glad that you have a best friend who still likes sleepovers. "You should call him."

"Listen, June, I know you thought we were perfect for each other but-"

June's demielf eyes narrow to cat-like slits. "Oh please."

"June, it was just two dates."

"And?"

"How much can you really know about a person in two dates?"

"You know when I decided I was gonna marry Em?" she asks.

"Well, you proposed on-"

"Date one."

You pause. "What?"

"I knew before the end of date one that she was the person I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. I knew it like I know the sky is blue and Versace does bold prints." She waves her hand through the air.

"That's not possible."

"Oh, it is. I realized I was doing everything I could to make her laugh because the sound of it was the best music I'd ever heard."

You can't help but remember Nick's laugh, and the way it came out too loud and honest. Your heart sinks into your stomach.

"And I wanted to keep ordering food, just so we could stay there longer," June continues.

After your first date, you and Nick just walked, walked until the only place you could go was home. You'd never wanted the night to end.

"But what really sealed the deal was how bad I wanted to see her again, even when we'd just said goodnight."

"But," you say, trying to ignore the feeling in your chest. "Couldn't it have just been an infatuation? Wasn't it just potential? Time and effort are what made it love, not your first date."

June shrugs. "Sounds to me like you are trying to convince someone in this room, and I'm pretty sure it's not me."

You lapse into silence as the words ring in your ears. Who are you trying to convince? You know that you had an amazing time with Nick. You know exactly what it felt like to laugh with him, run your hands across his shoulders, kiss him. You know that it was the exact mix of easy and heart tingling. You know that if ever there had been potential for something great, it existed in those two nights with Nick Jakoby.

"It doesn't matter," you say. "I wont get him hurt again."

June sets her plate aside and takes your hand in hers. "Sweetie, I get that. I do. But..." She takes a deep breath. "Listen, I don't know if you are ready to hear this but I'm going to go ahead and say it anyway."

She shifts her place on the couch until she is facing you, your hands cupped gently in her own. The look she gives you is one of kindness, but no-nonsense. It's a mother's look.

"I feel like you are about to ground me for doing something dumb," you say, trying to be light-hearted.

"Kind of. I mean, I do think you did something stupid."

You start to pull away. "June-"

She takes your hands again, more firmly. "You did. You did do something dumb. I love you, hun. I really do but this time? This time I think you screwed up."

"How? By protecting him? By making sure he never has to be in that hospital bed again? June, you didn't see him it was...it was-" You can't even bring yourself to say how bad it was.

June's hands tighten ever so slightly. "I know, sweetie. I know. It sucked. I know how seeing you hurt made me feel, and I can only imagine that it was worse seeing Nick like that. And I can only imagine how guilty it made you feel. But honestly? None of that matters."

"Why not?"

She blows out a soft breath. You can see a hard line of tension in her shoulders. She closes her eyes and when she opens them they are filled with a steady resolve. "Because you didn't even give him a choice. And hun, that was shitty." Since you rarely ever hear June curse, you know exactly how much she must mean this. "I know why you did it. I get it, but I don't really agree with it. You hurt yourself, which was your choice. But you hurt him too. You didn't give him an explanation, and you didn't give him closure." She holds up a hand before you can interrupt. "I'm not saying every person you go on a date with deserves a point by point explanation for why you don't want to see them again. But we both know that Nick wasn't just some date."

"I knew he'd try to talk me out of it."

June shrugs. "Maybe. Probably. But after getting hurt the way that he did, don't you think that he deserved the chance to try?"

Guilt drags at your stomach. You shake your head and pull your hands out of her grip. She lets you.

"I don't know that I'd have been strong enough to tell him no."

June shrugs. "Maybe because you shouldn't have."

You make a sound in the back of your throat and reach for the remote. "Come on, the show is-"

The words you were going to say die in your throat. The screen is filled with a news broadcast. A pretty woman you barely notice is talking about a fire downtown. The words Bright, officers down, possible magical terrorism hang like an ugly miasma in your ears. A picture of Nick superimposes itself over the fire.

You don't even remember getting up. You don't remember grabbing your coat. All you hear is the jingle of keys as you head to the hospital you ought never to have left him at.

[thesonuscompletes-blog]

Sonus Complete

What Is Sonus Complete?

These days people are suffering from a number of psychological rather than physiological diseases. And tinnitus is one of the largest growing neurological issues. It targets ears and brains altogether.

Do you suffer from continuous ringing in your ear? Are you frustrated with sleepless nights and migraines? Have you lost all your hopes with your chronic tinnitus? Then you can try Sonus Complete. This is one of the safest tinnitus supplements in the market.

Sonus Complete is a dietary supplement that provenly claims to treat tinnitus. This dietary supplement is safe to consume and doesn’t cause any damage to the brain whatsoever. The formula is completely natural and it works on the root cause of tinnitus.

Sonus Complete Ingredients

Below is the list of incredible ingredients that makes Sonus Complete so effective:

Hawthorn Berry

Hibiscus

Olive Leaves

Niacin

Garlic

Vitamin B12 & B6

Buchu Leaves

Green Tea

Juniper Berry

Uva Ursi or Bearberry

Vitamin C

Hawthorn Berry – The Hawthorn berry is a tiny fruit that can be found in Asia, Europe, and North America. This herb is used to treat various diseases including blood pressure, heart failure, high cholesterol, congestive heart failure, chest pain, just to name a few.

Using this ingredient in this formula was apparent because of the multiple benefits associated with the herb. According to several studies, this miraculous berry helps to easily pump the blood when the heart contracts.

The blood vessels get widened and the nerve signals transmission fastens. This initial action causes the nervous system to easily work. It also helps with panic attacks.

Hibiscus – Hibiscus can also be termed as the coolant for the brain. It helps to tone down the tinnitus when taken along with the Hawthorn berry. The pigment found in the hibiscus flower is known as cyanidin. It is bound to maintain healthy cholesterol.

Other than that, healthy fluid retention is also achieved by using hibiscus as a medicine. In short, hibiscus works directly on cardiovascular health which helps to easily supply blood to the brain.

Olive Leaves – There are multiple properties of olive leaves in general but for the brain, it acts as a protective nutrient. Olive leaves are known as a neuroprotective herb. There is a special place for olive leaves in the Mediterranean diet due to its chronic disease-fighting properties.

The olive plant is being used for centuries. Whether its oil, leaves or fruit, olive tends to be beneficial for many ailments. Oleuropein is the main extract found in olive leaves that helps to protect the human brain from Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s disease. Then why not tinnitus?

This potentially powerful ingredient of Sonus Complete prevents damage in neurons. The brain will function effortlessly when olive leaf extract does its wonders. In addition to brain protection, it also helps with any infection that may be troubling a tinnitus patient.

Niacin or B3 –Niacin is the powerhouse for the human body. It helps to empower the functionality of every body part. Niacin is the other name of vitamin B3. It is essential to consume Niacin to have healthy brain cells. Due to the calming effects of Niacin, it helps to calm down the brain.

The wonderful vitamin B3 can also improve memory. It helps to soothe down the brain and also indulges in promoting sound sleep. All in all, vitamin B3 is the perfect resource for a healthy body.

Garlic – The sulfur-rich garlic is known for its various anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties. It helps to regenerate the brain cells that are damaged by environmental stress.

Vitamin B12 & B6 – B vitamins are linked to promoting the function of the brain to a great extent. The human brain has approx. 70% of water. Being a water-soluble vitamin, it can easily target problematic area in the brain.

Vitamin B6 helps to reduce depression symptoms and allows a tinnitus patient to have a breath of fresh air. Vitamin B12, on the other hand, helps to regenerate the brain cells and is effective in many brain disorders.

Buchu Leaves – The wondrous buchu leaves help to eliminate toxins from the brain and acts as a stimulant to heal tinnitus quickly. It directly works on the area of tinnitus inside the ear.

Green Tea – Green tea is known for its rejuvenating properties. It helps to regenerate the cells inside the body and is often used to flush out the toxins. When taken along with other herbs, it will double the overall effect. Thus, there will be more clarity in the brain cells.

Juniper Berry – The antioxidant present in juniper berry will help to eliminate toxins from the brain cells. It helps to digest other nutrients in the Sonus Complete supplement. Therefore, the other nutrients will reach the brain swiftly.

Uva Ursi or Bearberry – Along with the green tea, the Uva Ursi will assist to remove toxins from the brain quite effectively. The infection in the ear will be easily cleared through the antiseptic action of bearberry.

Vitamin C – The removed toxins will remain at bay after vitamin C will come into action. It will protect the brain and ear cells to form further infection and toxins.

How Sonus Complete Works to Eliminate Tinnitus For Good

Sonus Complete has 100% original ingredients that are guaranteed to work directly on tinnitus causes. It is better than any other bogus treatment in the market because the supplement has a rare blend of herbs.

Tinnitus often targets aged people. But it can target almost everyone living anywhere. Whether you’re someone who has moderate tinnitus or having trouble in doing day-to-day tasks. The Sonus Complete has each and every useful ingredient to heal the brain from within.

It works by calming the brain first and then works on removing the toxins out of the body. This action is really important because at first, your body becomes prone to the diseases then catches all of them one by one.

The pill not only works on the symptoms of tinnitus but directly acts on the root cause. Whether it is stress or a prolonged hearing problem. However, it is not a magic pill that works once and for all. The ideal period to consume this dietary supplement is at least a month.

A patient has to regularly intake the supplements to let the natural ingredients do their wonders. The dosage is 2 supplements a day. At first, the symptoms will start to fade. For example, constant noise will reduce, dizziness will be reduced, and the brain will tend to catch clarity.

After a few weeks, the Sonus Complete will substantially reduce the entire symptoms. A person with tinnitus will feel overall energetic. There will be absolutely no sign of fatigue or migraine. And the best of all, there will be no ringing sound.

Above all these actions, Sonus Complete will also help in hearing loss. Not only this, but the supplement also helps to improve the functioning of the brain. It reduces the risk of memory disorder and other potentially harmful diseases.

The continuous intake of Sonus Complete has been found to be effective to heal the neurological system. The risk of memory loss and brain disorders significantly decreases by using this supplement for 2-6 months.

Anti-Tinnitus Benefits of Sonus Complete

It helps to restore memory.

Eliminates the ringing sounds which otherwise known as tinnitus, a serious medical condition.

Reduces the risk of further damage to the brain cells.

Rejuvenates the brain cells.

Promotes sound sleep.

The pain that comes along with tinnitus gets eliminated, no matter how long the suffering has been.

Helpful in aging brain diseases like dementia, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, amnesia, and more.

No more anxiety attacks.

The Sonus Complete completely eliminates panic attacks as well.

Sound mind and healthy body.

Price And Money-Back Guarantee And Refund Policy

What If The Sonus Complete Is Not Your Dream Supplement?

The company has got you covered. Even if there is a slightest of dissatisfaction to you while you’re on this supplement, you can get a full refund within 60 days. The payment and refund system are pretty clean. So, there is no risk involved.

It sounds like a win-win deal for the patients. You’ve got nothing to lose. One bottle costs $69 and that too is offered at a discount if you order in bulk . Above this, you’re also covered in a 60-day moneyback guarantee. If anything is not in your favor, you can request a refund which is given promptly. What a tinnitus sufferer could ask for?

Are There Any Side Effects To The Sonus Complete?

The magical tinnitus supplement doesn’t have any side effects as per the claim is concerned. But some of the ingredients can be harmful if taken in large quantities.

Make sure you go through the entire ingredient list before buying the product to find out if you’re allergic to any of them.

Some of the side effects may include:

Nausea

Upset stomach

Frequent urination

Customers Reviews

Jason C. ~ I was suffering for more than 5 years. I lost all hopes until I found this little bottle of relief. To my surprise, within a week it started to work. My ringing was reduced to a significant level.

My wife was happy to see that I can finally sleep peacefully. It is a life-changing experience for me. If you too want this happiness, don’t think twice!

Riya Peters ~ I was skeptical at first. But the ingredients used were natural so I thought why don’t give it a try. My tinnitus was chronic so nothing happened in the first week. As time passed, I started sleeping peacefully. For the first time, I slept more than 7 hours straight.

Everyone was surprised to see me. I am so happy to finally find something that WORKS! You should definitely try it guys.

Laila D. ~ I am a doctor and it sometimes bothers me to work in night shifts. This constant buzz inside my head keeps pissing me off. I decided to find a natural solution and this came right in front of my eyes.

The result is unbelievable and there is almost no side effect. I am thoroughly impressed and extremely happy. Recommending to my patients as well. Thank you!

Gregory Z. ~ I am way more energetic than I was before using this amazing supplement. I feel more attentive in my class. I ended up buying the entire combo of 3 and planning to consume it for a few more months. Jesus Christ, it works!

Camila P. ~ My mind is blown completely! I have never been so healthy my entire life. My friend suggested to me to buy the bottle of Sonus Complete. In 2 months, I kissed my tinnitus a goodbye. I never imagined I would be writing a review for a product that I bought online skeptically. Go for it people!

Gregory Peters ~ I developed social anxiety disorder because of the tinnitus. I could not meet people or interact with anyone outside of my family. Then one of my relatives suggested me to buy this pill. A hopeless patient I was thought this is just another blah.

But Sonus Complete proved me wrong. I was able to stop taking my old treatments and sleeping pills within one month. After one month my ringing went down to 60%. I am grateful!

Conclusion – The Final Verdict

To wrap-up, the Sonus Complete actually helps to eradicate tinnitus completely. It has all-natural ingredients that are found in rare herbs and plants. The researcher of this supplement used this to cure his tinnitus first.

Doctors were involved to create the formula of the supplement and it has been used on more than 47000 tinnitus patients to date. You’re completely in safe hands to try out to see whether this works for you or not. By any chance, if it doesn’t work, you can apply for a complete refund under 60 days.

This treatment is way more effective because there are no surgery or costly doctor appointments involved. We recommend every tinnitus patient no matter if the ringing is moderate to high, to try this supplement once.

That being said, there are no side effects to use this pill. You can surely go for something that is backed with research and filled with natural herbs. Give your brain a new life and get rid of that irritating ringing in your ear.

[donnerpartyofone]

TL;DR - i finally got an MRI for my ear, which has been fucked up and constantly clogged since september and developed tinnitus in february, and apparently, supposedly, there is nothing wrong with it. so there’s nothing to do about it. so just like with my eye and my skin and my lung and my etc, i have a problem that i can’t do anything about, that i can’t even get the satisfaction of a diagnosis for, and i’m so pissed off about how much time and energy i’ve spent trying to improve things for myself when there was absolutely no point in doing so, that i just want to set my body on fire to really show it what i think of it.

i’m so, so mad. the last couple of months have been almost nothing but wall to wall doctor’s appointments, and with zero exception, they have all been a complete waste of time. it hurts because my body tortures me, of course, but it hurts worse than that because i convinced myself that i HAD to do this, that it was Mature to face my fear of doctors and generally the Right Thing to Do, when i absolutely didn’t want to do any of this at all.

i suffer a lot from an internalized impression of myself as being lazy, defeatist, and dramatic. it comes from a lot of places. i grew up in an environment where i was the only open depression sufferer, under one parent who definitely considered depression to be an antisocial behavioral problem, to be treated like any other shallow cry for attention. i also grew up in an environment full of obvious talents, all of whom would go on to be published, or even public figures, and not to be a complete asshole, but the idea that “you can do anything you put your mind to” is kept alive by people who have the baseline talent necessary to succeed at things they put their minds to. if you subscribe to the idea that success requires nothing other than commitment, then the implication is that all failure is a matter of laziness, petulance, and defeatism--never lack, never inferiority, never ordinariness. on top of all this, my personal interests--horror, sexually graphic media, comics, underground music movements, the usual roundup of morbid or antisocial cultural items--were considered pretty much...well, not very adult. so what i’m coming to is that if i can’t prove my adulthood in any way that has to do with who i am or what i’m capable of, then the very least i can do is Be Responsible. (and of course i get made fun of all the time for being an uptight rule follower but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, LITERALLY WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DO)

one of the main ways you can Be Responsible, if you have the means that is, is to look after your health. the world is full of icky, boring, degrading, depersonalizing, and occasionally painful tasks that are necessary to keep the societal cogs turning. if you can’t make art or have ideas or be beautiful or become an athlete or whatever, you can still show that you’re alive and generally hygienic by going to the dmv, voting, showing up for jury selection, or going to the doctor. you can still grasp the final shred of integrity offered to you by doing things no one wants to do, but that we know are necessary for the vitality of self and society. so i’m extra good at doing stuff that people my age frequently shirk--the dentist appointments, the doing your taxes the second the forms come in, etc--because they’re sort of the only things i can do that prove that i’m not, you know, a complete piece of shit.

so this year, at the start of february, i decided i was going to get a real handle on my health. i’d been going to doctors for various things already, of course, even though it was pretty much never satisfying; the only thing i can think of that ever got fixed or explained was the pathological growth of scar tissue over my eyeballs, which required some pretty fucked up surgery. but at this time, i had a lot of problems building up. my left eye developed a small spot, and a constant glare that borders on having double vision. my right ear remained completely stuffed up since i had a cold last fall, and began to ring constantly at the end of the winter. my right lung has felt alarmingly tight and weak for...years actually. the right side of my face is constantly beet red, like i go fresh with somebody’s wife, and i can see how it’s thickening and bending my flesh all out of shape, which rosacea will do progressively and incurably throughout your entire life. i decided that instead of quaking in fear of doctors, and also in fear of wasted time, i was going to straighten my back and go nip this shit in the bud. after all, when you’re miserable but not doing anything about it, people kind of hate you, and then you have THAT problem on top of all your real problems. sometimes you gotta give the people what they want.

so how did it all go?

my skin: since no insurance company considers rosacea a medical problem, which is actually complete fucking bullshit, i decided to take matters into my own hands. i researched what rich people do for their uninsurable problem, and decided to use my recent (traumatic) inheritance to take care of myself. i tried three different preposterously expensive topical treatments that i was told are a “magic bullet” for rosacea, and all of them made my face blow up like a fucking macy’s day balloon. then, after four rounds of extremely expensive, painful and scary laser treatments, i had absolutely no results other than that my face was actually MORE reactive for about a month after the last one. i’m fucked.

my eye: according to my optometrist and ophthalmologist and corneal specialist it’s “just” regular scar tissue from my terrifying surgeries, not the pathological scar tissue that i had to have removed via terrifying surgery and localized chemotherapy. this kind of sucks because it means i can’t just get it removed again, but at least there is a slight chance that my body will reabsorb it like regular scar tissue. (oh yeah? and what’s my luck USUALLY like?) my only “treatment option” is to use eyedrops four times a day, which is actually extremely uncomfortable, and which pretty much means i’m just not allowed to wear makeup ever again.

my lung: after two rounds of clear x-rays and a breathing test that only detected slight asthma, through two GPs and a pulmonologist, nobody has anything to say about why i have this chronic breathing problem. there’s some indication that it might be a “muscular-skeletal problem” that’s putting pressure on the one lung, so i guess i need to add a physical therapist or something to my endless list of specialists.

my ear: two or three trips to urgent care (i forget how many now), two GPs, an ENT, a fucking weird hearing test, and an MRI have done absolutely nothing for me. after a cold with a sinus/ear infection last fall, my right ear remained permanently slammed shut; if i pop it, it closes back up in seconds. i do not have the same problem with the other ear, it is clearly a physical problem. in february, my ear began to ring agonizingly and has not stopped for a second. in all this time, i went through round after round of antibiotics, antihistamines, anti-inflammatories, steroids, etc. nothing works. no one can see any type of problem. apparently i have the option of electing to have a tube surgically inserted into my ear, although i can’t quite figure out what the risk factor is, both for my tinnitus, and for my hearing in general. 

and OF COURSE, depression: part of the stigma against depression is that it’s a choice, somehow. like fresh air and exercise and looking on the bright side are so effective that if you’re depressed, it must be because you LIKE IT THAT WAY, because otherwise you would use these simple and free cures for your so-called illness and it would be all over, right? anyway i kind of hate being depressed, and i’ve been working my fucking ass off trying to deal with it. i see a nutritional therapist (a licensed psychiatrist) who prescribed me a number of nutritional supplements that i do think help, but they are unthinkably hard on my stomach. i tried lexapro, and it made me feel so abnormal, and cut into my general quality of life so badly, that i didn’t keep it up. i tried a generic version of wellbutrin, and it made me violently sick to my stomach, and caused my ringing ear to ring deafeningly for days after a single dose. the brand name version wasn’t much better. then i tried lamictal, and felt totally great AND NORMAL for like a week, and then i got the rare and potentially deadly lamictal rash. sometimes this just indicates a basic allergy, and sometimes it indicates Stevens-Johnson Syndrome which causes something called TOXIC EPIDERMAL NECROLYSIS WHICH REQUIRES LONG TERM HOSPITALIZATION TO GROW YOUR SKIN BACK. i had to deal with this on the day of mandatory final exam presentations in a class where i was already struggling, and this was one of the darkest days i can recently remember. after this, my psychiatrist tried to prescribe me abilify, but after i started to hear about the side effects and personal testimony of certain friends, i decided i couldn’t handle it. very possibly, i just cannot be medicated for depression, unless i’m willing to sacrifice everything else around the depression too. 

...this is all pretty much a retread of an experience i had for a few years, a few years ago, where i was having these abnormal paps, so they constantly had to drill painful core samples out of my cervix to keep checking up on the NOTHING that was going on in there, until one day they were just like...uh your tests are coming back fine now, and we don’t know why they didn’t before, and it just doesn’t matter, you don’t have to do this anymore PLUS you could have just been sitting on your couch jerking off this entire time and it would have done exactly as much good as this cycle of being humiliated and tortured by doctors in a while that leaves you curled up in a ball sobbing every time. i’m still pretty pissed off about it, if you can’t tell.

so like i don’t know why the fuck i’m doing all this. i don’t know why i do anything. nothing fucking comes from even my most herculean effort except a relentless sense of mystery that is starting to border on satire. i don’t know why i have so many problems. i’m 38 years old and i’m in ok shape. i don’t have generalized immune issues or anything. my doctor said i have some of the best lab work she’s ever seen. why the fuck does all this shit happen to me. i’m trying so fucking hard to enjoy my life. it’s hard to be in mental and physical pain all the time, the latter for absolutely no coherent reason. i mean i’d rather have a bunch of random problems than like, lupus or MS or something, for sure, but everything that happens to me is so meaningless and arbitrary, i’m starting to get that feeling like god hates me. it’s also hard to have the constant feeling that so many people think that failure to enjoy life is exclusively a matter of “not trying hard enough”, being a pill, looking for attention. i don’t know what to do anymore. i’m real pissed. i think what i need is a change of philosophy, which will be a long hard road. at least i know it’s the one and only area where i, and only i, have some level of control. wish me luck.

[texanredrose]

Countdown (Pt 1 of 2)

Here’s your only warning: angst ahead, but with a happy ending. Promise. For the Free Day.

Day -195 Winter awoke to her alarm much like every other day despite the realization that she'd turned twenty seven while she slept. Her final birthday, a marker she'd seen coming and watched with equal parts dread and grim acceptance. How else should she regard the milestone? Sitting up in bed, she cast her gaze around her military lodging. Per regulation, she would be discharged one hundred and eighty days prior to her death day, which gave her only two more weeks amid familiar surroundings before she would have to move her meager belongings into one of the funeral motels- a distasteful reality, to be sure, but a necessary one. They only existed for people like her, those too stubborn or too far gone to be welcomed back home for their final days. Getting out of bed, she grabbed her scroll and headed for the kitchen area. No doubt Weiss would call, try to arrange for some manner of bonding. Although it had taken them a few years, the sisters had improved their relationship substantially during that time, no longer at odds now that they'd similarly distanced themselves from their father. Without him constantly driving a wedge between them, they got on rather well, and their brief contact with their mother similarly proved much easier without his interference. Then again, it might be her imminent death that moved them to mend bridges rather than remaining silent until the end. That Winter, the eldest daughter, would only live for twenty seven and a half years while her mother and sister had over eighty years each seemed unfair to some extent but... it also made her invincible, in some ways. She didn't fear death. She didn't have to consider the long term health effects of strenuous work or balk at suicide missions. She didn't have to worry about anything. Twenty seven years... in the grand scheme of things, she couldn't do much with that, aside from what the military offered her. She couldn't have a family of her own because leaving them behind would be unfair. So she adopted her soldiers and defended them viciously. It won her more accolades than she could count.

But she would be lying if she said she had no regrets. It lingered in the back of her mind- children, a wife, a family of her own. A dream she wanted to chase but couldn't. Her scroll ringing snapped her out of autopilot, only then registering the bubbling of coffee and the bread toasting, as close to a breakfast as she felt necessary. She picked it up, unsurprised to see who it was calling her. "Good morning, Weiss." "Happy birthday, Winter." She chuckled, pinning the scroll between shoulder and ear as she continued making her meal. "I'm not sure if that's entirely appropriate, given the circumstances." "I don't want to be morbid about it; just because it's your last doesn't mean it can't be a good one." "I suppose you have a point," she replied, grabbing a mug from the cupboard. "How are your cases going?" "Ah, right, I... probably should've informed you already." A pause, anxiety gripping her sister then, almost audible in her concern. "I've opted to stop practicing business law." "Oh?" She raised a brow. "Have you found a different calling?" "Family court." Her other brow joined the first. "I've found that the work suits me a little better." "Really?" She lifted the mug to her lips, needing the bite of black coffee to prepare her for the day. "I would think watching families tear themselves apart would be the furthest thing from what you'd want to pursue." "Actually, I tend to think of it as ensuring the best circumstances for the children," she said, her voice turning to steel. "I'm rather tired of seeing children awarded to the parent with the most money. It's hardly a fitting scale for the child's welfare. It certainly did us no favors." "I'm glad to hear you aren't in it for the money." Her toast popped up, and she grabbed the jam from her fridge to spread across the slices. "Any noteworthy cases?" "None I'd like to discuss at present." Weiss paused, obviously hesitant to voice the next sentence but doing it all the same. "I'd rather talk about your living arrangements." That made her pause. "I already told you-" "Come to Vale. Stay with me instead of one of those wretched death motels. It's no way to spend your last six months." "I only planned to use one for the final two; there's some traveling I'd like to do beforehand," she said, sighing. "But I can make Vale my first stop... and I'll consider returning for the last month. Did you talk this over with your girlfriend?" "Blake's been the one pushing for it." Weiss admitted with a fond little laugh. "If you met her parents, you'd understand. It took her a while to reconnect with them but she's now very adamant about supporting familial bonds. Our friends may or may not be an equally strong influence." Rolling her eyes, she took a bite of toast to mull it over. "Very well. I'll be discharged in fifteen days. I'll book my flight to Vale as soon as I finish breakfast." "Excellent! I think you'll like Vale-" "I've been there before, remember?" "Right, right, but I think there's a few spots you haven't experienced fully..." Winter listened as her sister went on a long speech, expounding all the things she'd yet to see in the kingdom of Vale. She couldn't help but smile; at least she could rest easy knowing Weiss' zest for life wouldn't suffer from her passing. Maybe she could spend a bit more time in Vale than she'd originally planned.

Day -180 Winter stood outside the terminal, bag slung over her shoulder. She'd opted to travel light, having already sold or gifted her worldly possessions while going through the process of leaving the Atlesian military. In the unassuming drab olive bag sat a few changes of clothes and her hygiene kit; she needed nothing more. Well, except a ride. Checking her scroll, a frown touched her lips as she noted the message Weiss had sent her a good two hours ago, warning that her meeting with clients ran long and she'd be sending a friend to pick her up. Really, she wasn't in any hurry, so it didn't truly matter; she had one hundred and eighty days to wait. She'd accepted it. All her affairs were in order, lightly tapped into line over the past few months, and she had nothing left except seeing a few sights and spending time with the only family she cared to claim.  As easy an end as could come. Various vehicles came and went, waving goodbye to loved ones bound for airships or welcoming them back, and she contemplated taking up smoking in her final months- because, really, what harm could it do? Her aura, the life force that sustained her, would give out far before her lungs would. It wouldn't be accurate to say she didn't notice the roar of a motorcycle coming around the bend, seeing as it was rather impossible to miss, but she didn't expect for the rider to make a short stop in front of her, a bit of smoke rising up from the skid marks as she kicked out a leg and lifted her helmet clear of her head. "Wow, when Weiss said 'look for an older version of me, but more pissed off', she meant it literally!" Lilac eyes that sparkled like her smile, an unruly mane of golden locks, and skin tanned and kissed by the sun- Yang Xiao Long, if her memory served, though her sister's description of the woman hardly did her justice. "It's nice to finally meet you! Weiss talks about her big sis all the time!" "And you must be Yang," she replied, offering a hand. "She's mentioned you as well." "All good things I hope!" She laughed, shaking Winter's hand with a strong, firm grip, flexing muscles beneath her skin tight leather jacket. "Sorry I don't have a car; I prefer riding and didn't know you needed a lift until I was already out." "It's no trouble." She shrugged her shoulder to indicate the bag. "I'm traveling light." "Hey, sounds good to me!" Then she turned, digging into a saddle bag attached to the bike and fishing out a helmet. "Here. I really hope it fits alright." Winter smiled, a bit bemused. Weiss mentioned that Yang could be caring bordering on motherly from time to time and took other people's feelings seriously, but she hadn't expected someone quite so... well, genuinely kind. "I'm sure it'll be fine." "Great!" She waved a hand towards the city beyond. "Officially, I'd like to welcome you to Vale! Where do you wanna go first?" And she didn't know why, really, but she felt a smile tug at her lips. "Surprise me." And the expression was mirrored back at her. "I'll do my best."

Day -166 Two weeks later, Winter found herself with a... strangely active social life. She'd never exactly sought out friends or companions- she fell into step with some fellow service members from time to time, sure, but she didn't actively try to come across others or spend time with them. It just seemed like a futile effort, seeing as she would only have a handful of years with them. Why make her loss even more felt? But, as she'd quickly learned, Yang Xiao Long was a very hard woman to turn down. "C'mon!" The blonde laughed, smiling wide enough for a dimple to appear in her cheeks. "How have you never been to a carnival?" "I just never saw the point." She shrugged, finishing off the last bit of her coffee. They'd opted to meet for brunch on a gorgeous Saturday, when Yang's job permit her time off. "Cheap rides and cheaper prizes- I don't see the appeal." "It's about the experience!" She spread her arms wide, voice taking on a rather whimsical quality. "I mean- the music, the screams, the cotton candy, the flashing lights, the pings of the ring toss, all of it's great! And the view of the city from the top of the Ferris Wheel? How can you pass that up?" Raising a hand, she conceded defeat. "I'll at least admit that you make it sound far more interesting than I thought." "Hey, if you're still skeptical, why don't you give me the chance to prove you wrong?" She jerked her head. "There's one down by the docks. I could pick you up around five?" On the one hand, it would at least be cool enough by then to bear, seeing as she hadn't quite acclimated to Vale's warmer climate yet. On the other... "I find it hard to admire the lights you've mentioned with the sun up." "See, that's the beauty of it." She waved a hand. "We go a few rounds on the bumper cars, we play some games, maybe a ride or two, and then we can grab some good, greasy carnival food and catch the Ferris wheel as the sun sets." She smiled again, eyes sparkling. "What do ya say?" "Count me in," she replied, finding herself more and more agreeable with Yang's suggestions. Ever since the woman opted to surprise her with some of the best food- home cooked at that- she'd ever tasted and a trip out to Beacon Falls when she first arrived in Vale, Winter couldn't really fault her self appointed tour guide's tastes. "But at the end of the night, when we're both lamenting how much time we'd wasted, I want you to remember this conversation." "Oh, I will."  Winter didn't know she could enjoy someone's company so much. She'd never really had a best friend before but Yang... she made it impossible not to consider her for the position. An infectious laugh, a kind and caring demeanor, a penchant for joking- a proverbial sun to brighten her day. While she couldn't quite return that- razor sharp her wit might be, but it tended towards the biting sort, not the funny kind- she somehow provided the woman with something, considering how often they met for little talks like this. It made her heart ache a little. With her time so limited, it would've been nice to have known Yang earlier in life. Perhaps they could've been more than friends.

Winter sighed, relaxing back into the seat as the Ferris Wheel began to turn, raising them into the twilight sky. As much as she hadn't admitted it aloud, she'd found their activities at the carnival were a great deal more entertaining than she'd expected. She'd won a cheap teddy bear at the dart toss, and felt more than a little proud of that, and Yang had won a stuffed dog of some sort at the 'test your strength' game, proving the muscles in her arms and core weren't just for show, even if the air had turned a bit cool by a Valen's tastes for the halter top she wore.  "So?" Yang turned towards her, settling an arm across the back of the seat. "How lame are carnivals?" "Very well, I concede defeat." She rolled her eyes at the woman's wide grin. "This was a lot more enjoyable than I expected. Truly an experience worth having." "See, now that's what I'm talking about!" She chuckled, waving a wand in front of them. "And this is the best part! I mean, look at this view!" Blue eyes roved over the cityscape, lights beginning to flicker on as the sun sank beyond the horizon. "Personally, I'm partial to the roller coasters, but this is nice." As they ascended, the wheel stopped to admit new passengers, until they sat at the very top. "Ya know, some people think that Ferris wheels are kinda romantic." She returned her attention to the woman beside her, raising a brow. "And why is that?" Yang had her own gaze trained on the sights below them, a small smile on her lips. "It's kinda intimate? Alone, on top of the world, night falling... seems like the perfect time to sneak in a kiss, yeah?" "That does sound rather romantic." Again, her thoughts turned to her single regret, that she would never indulge in the secret, strong desire for a family of her own. A partner to kiss at the top of a Ferris wheel- how bittersweet that the night would provide her with both a wonderful experience and a daydream that would never be fulfilled. Then she noticed Yang turning, the arm she'd rested on the back of the seat curling around Winter's shoulders, trying to coax her closer as the woman's head tilted. She quickly put a hand on the blonde's shoulder, stopping her advance immediately. "Huh?" Yang leaned back, blinking at her a bit owlishly as a blush began to rise in her cheeks. "Oh, I thought- sorry, I just-" "There's no need to apologize." She offered a small, sad smile. "If I had more time, I'd take you up on that offer. But as it stands, I've less than six months. There are better uses of your time." "Wait, what does that have to do with anything?" Confusion splayed across her expression as the wheel began to turn again. "Just because your time is running out doesn't mean you stop living." "That's a nice sentiment." She chuckled, touched by a bit of dark humor. "But I've lived all I wish to; now, it's just a matter of waiting out my remaining days." "So, what? You're just going to give up?" She withdrew her arm, running her hand across her bicep where a long, golden dragon tattoo wrapped itself around a white rose. "Haven't you ever heard it's better to have loved and lost than to never love at all?" "I've never seen the sense in that," she replied, sighing. "I've lived my life without regrets and without apologies. I've become exactly the sort of person I set out to be. Were I to become involved with someone now, it would just be a blip- nothing meaningful. There's no reason to pursue something I'll not have the chance to finish." "You never 'finish' loving someone." Yang slumped slightly in her seat. "It doesn't work like that." "At any rate, I'm afraid it's one of the many mysteries I'll not have the chance to unravel myself." "You mean, you won't take the chance." "Semantics." As they approached the platform, she glanced back at Yang. "How long do you have? If you don't mind the question." She gave a mirthless chuckle. "In total? One hundred and forty six years. Plus some change." "Oh." She blinked. "That's... quite a long time." "Runs in the family." A sigh left her lips. "Downside is, I'll end up watching a lot of people die. I'll get left behind. But, at least, I can choose who leaves me behind like that now." She shrugged. "And I'd choose you." "Forgive me for sparing you that pain." As the attendant raised the bar so they could exit, she looked back at Yang. "Save it for someone who can give you years, not months." "A month from the right person is worth years from someone else." She said nothing in response even as Yang fell into step beside her, the two heading for the parking lot. A rather sour end to an otherwise pleasant experience but she tried not to dwell on it. In the end, it was for the best.

Day -162 Winter pressed her lips together in a thin line, maintaining her sister's stare for a few moments longer. Then, she relented. "What would you have me do?" "You're more than entitled to conduct your affairs as you see fit," Weiss said, a thread of annoyance in her tone. "But you did lead Yang on; you could've made it very clear from the beginning that you didn't wish to entertain anything romantic." "She knew very well why I'm here. She could've drawn her own conclusions." A bit unfair a claim, perhaps, and maybe she'd noticed that the attention she'd received from Yang wasn't the platonic sort, but it still should've been obvious. "If the circumstances were different-" "The circumstances, as you call them, and entirely within your head." Her sister wagged a finger at her, and she had to be a bit proud that Weiss somehow learned to stand up and buck those whom she admired. "Yang's aware of the situation and still wants to try. If you're turning her down because you feel it's a waste of your time, then tell her that. But don't try to blame her for it." "That's not-" "That's exactly-" "HEY!" They both stopped, turning to look at the Faunus frowning at them from the kitchen. "Stop fighting about it. Weiss, I appreciate you sticking up for Yang, but it is Winter's decision. Winter, you could've turned Yang down in a better way than making it seem like having a shorter countdown is a reason to not consider a relationship. You could've just said you weren't interested." "That would be a lie, though, and I still don't see the error in my logic," she said, not nearly as inclined to quit the field just because Blake had spoken up as her sister. "It's perfectly sound-" "Almost everyone will die before Yang." Feline ears flicked back, a subtle display of her mounting aggravation. "She's known that since she was young. Most people don't have the sort of aura she does, the sort of time, and it puts a lot of people off. They don't want to get involved with someone they know will outlive them by decades and they always say it's for her sake. She's just tired of people making that determination for her." Winter sat back in her chair. She hadn't considered that angle before. "But some don't, correct? Use that excuse, I mean." "I didn't." Blake shrugged, disappearing back into the kitchen for a moment before returning with two mugs of coffee, setting them down on the table for the sisters. "We didn't date for long, but we learned a lot about ourselves from the experience." She bent down and pressed a kiss to the top of Weiss' head. "That's how I found out I need a little more friction from my partner. Someone to challenge me." "Which I certainly do, some days more than others," she replied with a fond smile, tilting her head back for a proper kiss before Blake went back for her tea. "But more to the point, relationships- or dating in general, for that matter, it's not about finding forever right away. It's about the potential." "Except, there is no potential here." She spread her hands. "My time's almost up." "And when it is, are you certain you'll be at peace with never knowing?" Weiss raised a brow. "Perhaps you and Yang aren't meant to last anyway." Blake sat down beside her, wordlessly offering her hand so they could sit, side-by-side, fingers interlaced, their chosen beverages in their other hand. "But perhaps she'll be there at the end." Winter's gaze lingered on their hands before she looked away, busying herself with her coffee. For a woman already slated to die... would a taste of ambrosia really be so terrible an indulgence? And if it turned to poison on her tongue, what could the harm be? Perhaps it wasn't too late to mend one last bridge. She still didn't think pursuing a relationship would be wise but she could at least reach out and apologize for her thoughtless words.

Day -157 If she didn't know any better, Winter would be very hard pressed to think anything could be remiss. Yang seemed in high spirits as they walked through downtown, heading to a little restaurant that didn't get nearly enough attention considering the quality of their cuisine, according to the blonde anyway. In fact, she seemed just as upbeat as ever. But she didn't quite press close like she used to, verging on invading personal space but not quite crossing the line. Her gaze seemed focused elsewhere, rarely on Winter, when it seemed like her attention rarely wandered before. Most obvious of all, however, was the complete absence of teases and jokes, those little flirtations that had fallen from her lips so freely. This could not continue. "We don't have to do this," she said, her voice soft. "We can be cordial without overt acts of friendship." "What?" Lilac eyes snapped to her, then immediately darted away. "I mean- I, uh, I'm not following." "I'm saying that, if I make you uncomfortable, just say so." Yang pressed her lips together, looking down at her feet for a moment. "It's not you; I'm just... I like you, Winter. I wanna get to know you a little better, ya know? But I get it, you don't want that, so it's gonna take some time for me to... get over it." Her brows pinched together. "You mean, you're still interested in me? How?" For a moment, they just blinked at each other, and then Yang started laughing, shaking her head as she walked. "You really don't see it, huh? You're a heartbreaker, Winter." "I beg pardon- what do you mean by that?" She hurried to catch up to the woman, a frown on her lips. "You're just- you're kinda amazing!" She glanced over. "You've got this poised and dignified thing going on, like you're above it all, but then you turn around and you swear under your breath and you get annoyed over things like anyone else. You've got a sweet side that you don't always show and I like coaxing it out. And you're just- you're steady. You're like the ground beneath my feet." She shrugged. "It's hard to put into words but I just... feel good around you. You laugh at my jokes and you listen to what I have to say and it makes me feel invincible." "I don't see how-" "Hold on, lemme finish." Lilac eyes sparkled, though there seemed to be a hint of sadness about them. "See, I know if I see it, others can, too. Have you ever thought of how many people have fallen in love with you without you ever being the wiser?" She hummed. "I suppose I haven't." "Yeah. That's what I meant. You've probably broken a lot of hearts, just being you." Another shrug. "So, yeah. I'm kinda bummed you aren't interested, and it's going to take a while to get over, because I still look at you and see marble over steel, silk over iron, and it still gets me. It just takes time for it to... not. I'll get over it, eventually." They walked a few more steps before Winter spoke up. "I never said I wasn't interested in you." "You aren't interested in a relationship," she said, waving a hand. "Same difference." A shrug. "Perhaps my thoughts on that have changed." That brought Yang to an abrupt halt. "Wait, did I hear that right?" "You did." Winter nodded, clearing her throat. "Now, you must understand that this will only be temporary-" "Hey, don't ruin the fun!" She smiled wide, enough for that dimple to reappear, and linked their arms together. "We both know we're on a clock. That doesn't mean we have to focus on it!" "I suppose you're right." She chuckled, both amazed and a little proud that something so small could make Yang so happy, and that she'd been the one to cause it. "And try to give me some... slack. I don't exactly have much experience dating-" "Then I'll be your teacher." She laughed, a happy and free sound. "Lesson one? I'm gonna be your rock. So lean on me if you need to and don't be afraid to speak up, alright? You can always hit me up just to talk." She tapped the side of her head. "I'm a pretty good listener." "As long as you'll do the same," she replied, tone turning serious. "I do prize honest communication." "I picked up on that." Yang smiled, leaning her head to rest against Winter's shoulder. It felt... words couldn't describe it. Having someone so close, actually touching her, being so... she'd never allowed herself to focus too heavily on what she'd be missing, not pursuing that single daydream she harbored. Now, she could tell with utmost certainty that it would be her only regret. Still, despite the melancholy, she couldn't help but feel warmer and lighter with Yang beside her. Perhaps it would never satisfy her deepest desire but maybe she could still enjoy what she could while it lasted. "Oh, and one more thing. Just for the record." Yang hummed curiously and a smile curled her lips. "I think you're quite amazing as well." A chuckle and a squeeze of her arm were all she received in response.

Day -143 Dating Yang, as it turned out, was akin to breathing air. She fell into it much easier than she expected- or perhaps it only felt like that because the woman seemed patient to a fault. Either way, it became habit to grab her scroll and send a text before even getting out of bed, wishing Yang a good day and hoping she slept well. "Are you sure-" "I'm fine, Snowdrift! I got this!" Talking to her became as easy as before but their conversations turned deeper, more personal. Yang confided in her- her fears, her worries, her weaknesses, her triumphs. How she felt more than a little cocky after showing up some rude customer who'd tried to con her into giving a discount, how she cried for a week when her favorite character in a tv show died, how she had to restrain herself and busy herself with other things to keep from hovering around her little sister, how she worried that, in the end, she would have little to show for her long life span. Winter learned that beneath the cheer and jokes lay a glass heart- golden and true, yes, but pieced back together after being scratched and gouged. "Sundrop. I'm right here." "I'm getting the hang of it!" Yang loved freely and she'd been hurt for it but she threw herself into everything with the same vigor regardless. Perhaps more cautiously, perhaps with more restraint, but with no lack of fire in her soul. Winter admired that, adored it even, and she'd swallowed her pride and admitted Weiss and Blake were right to talk some sense into her. It would break Yang's heart when she passed but, for every minute they had together, they made them count. And she'd emerge all the stronger for it. "Yang." Lilac eyes flashed her way, one of her stubborn streaks possessing her as she clung to the rail for dear life. "I said. I got this." "It's been fifteen minutes and you've moved two meters." Winter raised a brow, nodding towards the little entry door to the indoor rink. "I'm not saying it's an insurmountable task; I'm merely offering a shortcut." Perhaps ice skating, though, wasn't the best suggestion for a date. "Look..." Yang tried closing the distance and standing up straight but nearly lost her balance again and went back to clinging to the rail. "... okay, fine." She puffed a breath up, ruffling the golden bangs peeking out from beneath her cap. "I've never ice skated before." "I surmised that." She chuckled, holding out both hands. "Give me your hands." "But-" "Trust me." Such a simple phrase. Such a powerful one. Without another moment's hesitation, Yang took her hands, awaiting the next set of directions. "Now, just try to focus on your balance." And then she was skating backwards, dragging her girlfriend with her, and bracing as best she could against the jerks and hesitations from the woman as she tried to find her balance. It amused her, how off kilter she seemed, but Yang did her best to not use her superior strength to her advantage and bring them both crashing to the ice.  Which, in itself, was rather telling. "Okay... I'm getting the hang of it." She nodded, tongue poking out in that little way she had as she concentrated. "Indeed." Winter smiled, noticing she could lead them into a gentle turn without a jerking motion to answer her. "It's almost like you've stopped feigning inexperience." Blonde brows climbed high before she barked out a laugh. "Can't get anything past you!" She shrugged, pushing off with her skates and adding to their momentum. "I learned when I was really young but I haven't skated in years." "Then why pretend otherwise?" She didn't really concern herself with the little fib, not until she'd uncovered the reasoning at least. "Isn't it obvious?" She chuckled. "I didn't want to embarrass myself! I'm still trying to impress you!" "Impress me?" Now, she laughed, shaking her head. "You needn't worry about that. You're perhaps the most impressive person I know." "C'mon." She rolled her eyes, using the next turn to turn herself around and skate beside Winter, keeping one hand clasped in hers while the other swung wide. "Your sister is a lawyer, she's dating a community activist, you're practically famous in your own right- that's a lot! And I'm just-" "Hold on now," she said, wanting to correct a few misconceptions immediately. "What makes my sister impressive, in my eyes, is that she broke away from a toxic environment and built a life she can be proud of in doing so. Next, what makes Blake impressive is that she's made mistakes in her life and found a way to not only overcome them but make amends as well. And the only thing I find impressive about myself is how I'm incapable of boiling an egg without step-by-step instructions but can disassemble an Atlas Paladin and put it back together in less than two hours without so much as glancing at a manual." Her expression softened. "And you are not 'just' anything. You started your own business and built it from the ground up, working out of your own garage until you could open a proper shop. You provided for your sister and supported her through university. And you did something only three people can even claim: you changed my mind." She skated a little closer, lowering her voice. "Frankly, you've yet to do something that doesn't impress me." "You really think that highly of lil ole me?" She tried playing it off with a laugh but her cheeks turned a bit redder, and it had nothing to do with the cold of the rink. "Gotta say, I didn't expect that." "Then you probably didn't expect this, either." She smirked, shifting her weight and pulling on Yang's hand as she switched to skating backwards, now in control of their momentum. As her girlfriend struggled to keep her feet, Winter lead them to the middle of the rink, the stopped short, bringing them close together- close enough for her to lean down and steal a firm, deliberate kiss. At first, she stiffened, caught off guard, but then she came roaring back to her senses and held her close, fingers digging into Winter's jacket. When they parted, she wore a dopey grin on her lips. "Well... got me there. Didn't expect that either." "Not as intimate as the top of a Ferris wheel, admittedly," she said, aware of the various eyes upon them, the little awes from adults and either confusion or excitement from children, but ignored them all. "But I do hope that was sufficiently romantic." "Hmmm," Yang replied with that twinkle in her eyes. "I dunno. Might need to try it again for a real comparison." "Where's the next carnival?"  She'd planned on some manner of travel, simply to pass the days. This proved to be a much better use of her time.

Day -139 "What's on your mind?" Winter blinked, turning away from the view outside the airship window to see her girlfriend's expression pinched into concern. "Nothing." Yang watched her for a moment before sitting back in her seat. "Alright." She winced. Fooling the woman turned out to be much harder than she'd anticipated and it just made her feel lousy besides. "It's just... Weiss is keeping secrets from me." "How do you know that?" Something about lilac eyes watching her carefully made her think that perhaps the odd behavior she'd noticed had an explanation- one her girlfriend seemed privy to, for some reason. "Usually, Weiss allows me free roam of the house, whether or not she's there." She frowned. "Lately, I've noticed she tries to... steer me clear of wherever Blake is. Not in overt means, of course, but I've hardly seen her in the past week for some odd reason." "Well, it might not be the solution you're looking for, but why don't you move in with me?" Yang shrugged. "Maybe they just need some space." Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You know why Blake's avoiding me, don't you?" "Yeah," she replied instantly, expression twisting. "But it's not my place to tell. I get where they're coming from, even if I disagree with how they're handling it." Winter hummed, slipping an arm around Yang's shoulders, coaxing her girlfriend into leaning her head against her shoulder. "You think that if I moved in with you, it would improve matters?" "Something like that." A short chuckle. "Plus, I just like the idea. Sometimes, I can be an opportunist, ya know." She remained silent for a moment. Frankly, she'd been ill accustomed to roommates, having never shared a room as a child and often finding herself in positions where she had single housing while in the military. Moving in with Weiss and Blake came with challenges, but they'd adjusted well.  Now, however... "I suppose we could move in together," she said, a smile curling her lips. "I don't have much in the way of personal belongings, outside of what you've bought me." "Hey, some of that stuff is hand crafted!" She playfully corrected, then sighed- content. "We could pack up your stuff when we get back. Have you set up in no time." "Would I have my own room?" The airship began to descend, making to land in Vacuo. They'd opted to combine the search for a carnival with Winter's desire to travel, Yang more than capable of turning the shop over to her crew for a week or two. Silence for just a moment too long. "I mean... my bed's big and comfy. I've got room in my closet. The bathroom's attached and it has a killer tub." As always, Yang offered her a choice while making her own thoughts known. Not an outright refusal to utilize her guest bedroom but a tempting sell on sharing the master. "We haven't slept together."  It was both an excuse and not. Winter hadn't wanted to delve into the physical side of a relationship- somehow, she connected sex with the sort of bond that was meant to last, not one under a time limit- and Yang hadn't objected. However, with every kiss, she found herself wondering... would a little more be so wrong? A little more friction, a little more heat, a little more passion- what could they explore together, what could Yang teach her, what could she learn for herself? "Yet." Her girlfriend offered, voice soft. She turned her head and pressed a kiss to golden locks. Yang had a point.

Day -126 Winter lay spent, sweat cooling on her skin and panting, listening to her girlfriend's attempts to catch her breath. Although she'd moved in upon returning to Vale a week ago, they hadn't actually done anything aside from sleep in the same bed until tonight. Not for lack of willingness, from either party; rather, it stemmed from a touch of romanticism on Yang's part, and she'd cooked a full meal that they'd shared by candlelight to build the atmosphere. "Hey... Snowdrift?" She turned to see the wide, lazy grin on the woman's lips. "Anyone ever tell you you're a fast learner?" A laugh burst from her chest, invigorating her for a moment to roll over, laying on her girlfriend for a moment and hovering, staring into those lilac eyes. When they kissed, it wasn't the heat from before- slow, languid, reveling in the feel of their skin pressed together, hearts slowing in tandem. Winter hadn't been a prude before- one in the service would inevitably be exposed to carnal descriptions, either in jokes or just the complete lack of boundaries between soldiers- but she'd always discounted what she'd heard as exaggerations born of boredom and poor prioritization. Better to make it sound like a worthy investment of time than merely an aerobic exercise. Experience, of course, gave her a new perspective. "I have a superior teacher." Yang laughed, wrapping her arms around her, indulging in more kissing and cuddling before her expression turned downright wicked. "Just you wait. There's a lot you don't know." Despite the promise, they both found themselves settling down after that, preparing to turn in for the night. Yet... she found herself not wanting the contact to end, not very keen on returning to their usual opposite sides of the bed sleeping arrangement. "Sundrop?" "Do you really want to go another round?" Her girlfriend teased, lightly pushing at her hip to encourage her to move. Which she did, rolling onto her side and watching the woman settle for bed. "No, I have a different request in mind." "Oh?" Yang stretched her arms above her head, yawning wide and relaxing fully into the mattress. "Wuzzat?" "May I... touch you while we sleep?" A frown touched her lips. "That's perhaps poor wording-" "Are you asking to spoon?" She perked up, excitement replacing the mischief in lilac eyes. "... spoon?" Yang laughed. "C'mere, you." After a bit of shuffling, she found herself being cradled in her girlfriend's arms, Yang's forehead resting against her shoulder blade. "How's that?" Winter breathed in deeply. "... better..." "But?"  Her girlfriend seemed genuinely confused, and she hurried to clarify. "Is there any way... I could hold you like this?" A hand stroked along her hip as Yang laughed. "You wanna be the big spoon, huh?" A kiss pressed to her shoulder. "I'm super okay with that." They switched positions, allowing her to nestle among golden curls. "I'm not on your hair, am I?" "Nah." Her girlfriend yawned, already falling asleep. "Night, Snowdrift." "Good night, Sundrop," she replied, closing her eyes and nearly dropping off but kept awake by two mumbled words. "Love you." The deep breathing that immediately followed proved that the woman hadn't said them consciously, had probably meant to kept them to herself but groggily let them go. Winter's eyes opened, watching the sliver of broken moonlight catching in golden strands as her heart swelled. Just two months of knowing each other and dating for half that... it felt like a whole other lifetime. A new life, one where she'd been able to indulge in every idle fantasy, and in that time, she'd come to believe the words herself. "I love you, Yang." Carefully, she leaned over to press a kiss to her shoulder before settling back down. She would say them again in the morning- as many times as she could. Avoiding love had seemed like the pragmatic answer before but now that she'd allowed herself a taste, she couldn't drink enough, and Yang made it so easy. She loved wholly and freely, let her fall as deep as she wanted, strong and steady enough to catch her but trusting enough to buckle and lean against her as well. It felt... well, like she'd always imagined. Yet, better, because Yang could be as unpredictable as a storm, as passionate as fire, and as quick as lightning. "And I owe you an apology." She whispered into the night. "This is meaningful." To her, at the very least.

Day -125 If Yang's reaction to waking up and hearing 'I love you' served as any indication, it was meaningful to her, too. And Winter learned a little bit more that morning.

Day -113 Winter sat across from her sister, noting ever nervous pick at her sleeves and skittish glance. In public, perhaps she'd be so concerned about her appearance, but not in the comfort of her own home- not that she seemed comfortable in the slightest. Weiss and Blake had taken the news about her change in living arrangements well, though a bit of guilt lingered in their expressions, and they'd seemed more at ease for a time. However, a hushed conversation between Yang and Blake the night before during a double date dinner seemed to prompt some sort of change, hence the invitation. But a pot of tea later, Winter couldn't tell what seemed to be preying on the woman. "Weiss-" "We didn't plan it." Their gazes met briefly before she ducked her head, drawing a steadying breath. "We weren't sure whether or not we should tell you. If it might... bother you. It wasn't intentional-" "Weiss, I'm still not sure I know what you're talking about." She raised a brow. "You've yet to mention that part." Her sister winced, though her lips appeared to be at war, caught between smiling and frowning. "Blake's pregnant." Immediately, her expression brightened. "Congratulations!" Of course it stung. Frankly, it might've hurt worse two months ago. But now? She wouldn't want Weiss and Blake putting their lives on hold, waiting for her time to be up. She would never know her niece or nephew or any of her sister's children... but that didn't mean they wouldn't know her. "How far along is she?" "We just got the confirmation a few weeks ago." Now faced with Winter's approval, Weiss glowed with happiness, smiling wide. "We're hoping for a girl. Blake's family is predisposed to them too, so there's a good chance. The morning sickness has caused a bit of an adjustment but..." Winter smiled and listened intently, reveling in her sister's excitement.

She heard Yang come through the front door even as she set up the scroll, leaning it against a book on her desk in Yang's little tinkering room. "Snowdrift?" "In here!" She called, waiting for her girlfriend to find her and greeting her with a smile and a kiss. "Welcome home." "Heh, thanks." Lilac eyes fell to the scroll. "Whatcha up to?" "Weiss told me the happy news." She nodded towards the device and papers laid out in front of it. "I thought I'd record a message for the little one to watch when they're old enough." "Oh." And she saw something, then, the spark of an idea that would no doubt be brought up again later. For now, it got filed away, as Yang instead smiled and nodded. "That's a really nice thought. I'll go get started on dinner while you do that." "I could-" A sharp look silenced that offer; after her last attempt cooking dinner, she'd gotten into the habit of ordering some manner of delivery before her girlfriend got home. She'd just forgotten today. "If there's anything I can do, let me know?" "I will." Yang started heading back towards the kitchen. "Focus on that for now." "Right." She nodded, looking at the camera on her scroll and sighing. "Right." Reaching forward, she started the recording, glancing at the notes she'd made to ensure she covered everything she wanted to say. "Greetings." She paused. She sounded stiff and formal- a realization she'd come to after being around her girlfriend's much more relaxed demeanor. So, she stopped and tried again, restarting the recording. "Hello. I'm your Aunt Winter..."

Two hours later, she emerged to find Yang settled on the couch, watching some show while their dinner stayed warm in a pot on the stove.  Wordlessly, she went to her girlfriend, not bothering to announce her presence until she'd curled up beside her. Yang merely chuckled and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "So? How'd it go?"  "I accomplished my mission," she replied with a frown tugging at her lips. "I just hope it conveys what I want it to." "Can I watch it?" She smiled. "I can give you a one hundred percent unbiased opinion." Winter raised a brow. "Okay, ninety-five percent." Even that number seemed too high but she relented, hoping Yang wouldn't inquire as to how many tries it took to get right. She queued up the video and held it out, watching her own countenance fill the screen. "Hello, little one," the recording said, a small smile on her lips. "I'm your Aunt Winter and, by the time you're old enough to understand this, I'll be long passed. However, there are some things I must impart upon you before I go." Her expression turned a bit more somber then. "I'm not sure which surname you will bear when you're born, little one, but Schnee blood will still run through your veins. With that heritage comes certain standards, ways to conduct yourself, and a single rule you must follow." Her shoulders straightened, chin tilted up, eyes piercing as she continued. "As the next scion in a long proud line, you absolutely must pursue your own happiness." Every feature softened as she continued. "We're headstrong and nigh impossible to dissuade, so it's important you remain focused on the right priorities- yours. Don't bend or bow to those without your well being in mind and don't compromise yourself; believe me, you'll be stronger from surviving those who'll try to break you. I have no doubt your moms will fully support you doing so." She sighed. "And try to give your Mother some slack. Her heart's in the right place and, when you're old enough, you'll see that you'll do the same thing; being passionate and being right don't always align. It's a challenge we Schnees face: having patience and respect for others rather than just our own goals." She paused. "Or... perhaps that's just me. It's something I learned perhaps too late. My life hasn't been very long but I've managed to learn my fair share of lessons along the way. I'll pass what wisdom I have to you." Her smile pulled a little wider. "Know that you're loved, little one, even now and it will only grow with time. Know that, sometimes, it's better to ask forgiveness than permission. Know that your Mother Weiss is trying her hardest and doing an excellent job and that your Mommy Blake is much stronger and more brave than you think. Know that they didn’t start out that way, that the challenges they overcame helped them become the people you see before you, and that you will grow like that, too. Know that your Aunt Yang is no doubt going to sneak you cookies before dinner and will always guard your secrets and your Aunt Ruby can literally build anything and will always look out for you. Know that you have before you untold opportunities and untested abilities. Know that the only person who will determine how far you go in life is yourself and, know, even if you stumble and stutter and fall, that your family will be there to help you back up." Her gaze deviated then. "I wish I had the time to know you. No doubt I'd love you just as dearly as the others; I already love you so much now. But if an after life does exists, I'll be your guardian angel; speak to the north wind and I'll hear you. You will never be alone." Tears gathered in her eyes but her voice remainder strong. "Play often and rest when you can. Fight when you must and try not to hold grudges. Above all else, enjoy your time, because no matter how long you have, it's going to feel far too short." Then, she saluted. "March on, little one, and hold your head high. You're a Schnee, and you've already made me so proud. Keep it up." The video ended and Winter looked to her girlfriend holding back tears. "Yang?" "It's good," she said immediately, scrubbing at her eyes and laughing. "It'll mean a lot. They- I think they'll really like it." "Yang, what's wrong?" Worry colored her tone as she set aside her scroll and gathered the woman into her arms, stroking through her hair gently. "Talk to me." After a few minutes to compose herself, she started, turning into the embrace and clinging to Winter. "It's just- my birth mom, she ran out on me, yeah? And I just- she could've done that. Left me a message, done something to let me know that I'm- that I wasn't a mistake or a waste of her time." She drew a steadying breath. "She didn't have to mean it but... it would've been nice to hear." "Oh, Sundrop." She believed that it constituted part of the reason for the reaction, sure, but something about the way Yang wouldn't meet her eyes had her concerned there remained more to it than that. However, best to handle one thing at a time. "You're certainly not a waste of anyone's time. Please don't think that." "I know, I know, I just- it's hard not to think about sometimes." A watery laugh. "And thanks, ya know. For calling me Aunt Yang. I know Blake's gonna ask me to be godmother and all but hearing it... you hit the nail on the head." She smiled. "This kid is gonna be loved. No doubt about it." Winter nodded, waiting for a few moments before gently prodding. "Is there anything else on your mind?" For a moment, she thought Yang might break. But then she just shrugged. "I dunno. I mean, I think the message is great, but I also don't think those two are the kind to stop at just one kid." "A valid point," she replied, opting to set her concerns aside for the moment. "But I think I should eat something before I try making another one." With that, they got up and went to fix their dinner, but Winter kept a close eye on her girlfriend for the rest of the night. Something seemed to be on her mind... but she would have to wait for it to come to bear.

Day -107 Winter made a few more videos over the week, mostly addressed to any subsequent kids Weiss and Blake might have. Her sister seemed genuinely touched she’d made them and Blake all too happy to safeguard them in the meantime, though the couple tried- in vain- to insist they wouldn’t have a big family. Maybe one more, they said, but she could see the way they looked at each other and didn’t doubt for a moment they’d have four or more.

But she found her attention pulled away from making more videos by Yang’s odd behavior. With just a little under half her remaining time spent, perhaps it was the looming deadline beginning to prey on the woman’s mind.

At any rate, it required further investigation.

The moment she heard the door open, she closed the book she’d used to preoccupy her time. 

“Hey!” Yang set her motorcycle helmet down and shook out her hair. “What’s up, Snowdrift? No welcome home kiss?

She offered a small smile and got off the couch. “My apologies. I’m afraid my mind’s been a bit preoccupied.”

“Oh?” After their kiss, Yang kept her close, hands on her hips. “Wanna share?”

“I feel like you’ve been acting a bit odd recently. As if you want to talk with me about something but keep refraining.” She ran her hands up and down the woman’s back, noticing the way her posture changed, eyes looking away, body turning as if she wanted to break contact. Yet, when Winter ducked her head, encouraged her to meet her eyes, her girlfriend didn’t balk. “You can tell me anything, you know. I promise I’ll listen. No judgments.”

“You... really don’t want to hear this.” Yang mumbled, shaking her head. “It’s just a stupid thought-”

“Is it important to you?” Reluctantly, she nodded. “Then it’s not stupid. Regardless of my opinion on it, it’s not a stupid thought. Tell me and let me form my own opinion.”

This time, her girlfriend did pull away, but took one hand in hers and led her to the couch, sitting both of them down. She then took a moment and composed herself, choosing her words with care. “What if I stopped taking my birth control?”

“Why would you do that?” Of all the topics in the world, this happened to be the last one she expected they’d discuss. “Is it... making you sick or-”

“Well, aura pregnancies are pretty rare. We could leave it up to chance-”

Winter jolted, sitting up straighter and incidentally pulling away from her girlfriend. “Aura pregnancy- Yang, what are you talking about?”

She remained silent for a moment, drawing in a steadying breath before taking the plunge. “I want the chance to carry your child.”

“No,” she replied, instantaneous, getting to her feet and pacing. “Do you even realize what you’re talking about; I’ve hardly three months left.”

“I know that.” Yang got to her feet as well, crossing her arms over her chest. “I know there’s a big chance it won’t happen anyway and I know that, even if I do get pregnant... you’ll be gone before the baby’s born... but...”

“There is no ‘but’ here.” She shook her head. “I’m not going to leave behind a child that’ll never know me-”

“They’ll know you, the same as Weiss’ kids.” A frustrated sigh. “Look, I know it isn’t what you want-”

“Don’t put words in my mouth.” Winter looked at her, the pain in her chest nearly crippling as those secret daydreams she’d entertained flashed before her eyes. “You don’t know how badly I want a child, a family- you have no idea what this life has denied me.”

“You mean what you’ve denied yourself.” Yang’s lips twisted, a bit of anger coloring her tone. “I get it, I can’t understand what it’s like having so little time. But you don’t have to give up on everything else. There’s ways around it, to try- it might mean only having a taste but it’s something.”

“Not now.” She shook her head, waved her hand, denied as best she could. “Are you even listening to yourself? It’s- it’s impossible, Yang. I don’t have a chance for a taste of anything- it’s too late for me. I can’t just leave you alone to raise our child by yourself.”

“My dad did it.” Her expression softened slightly. “Being a single parent... yeah, it’s hard. It can be hell. But it’s not impossible and at least, this way, our kid would know they’re wanted, that if you could be here, you would. That- I don’t think you understand how much that means. That could be enough-”

“How could it possibly be enough?” Winter sighed heavily, turning away. “Please understand, in any other life, I’d be with you. I’d- I’d marry you, I’d start a family with you, I’d be completely devoted, every moment of my life, because I would have that time to give to you. In another life, there wouldn’t be any hesitation on my part.”

“But this is the only life we have, Winter,” she replied, crossing the room and putting a hand on her shoulder, turning her gently so their eyes could meet. “This is all the time we have. And when it’s over, if all I have left of you are memories... I won’t regret this, because I love you, so much it hurts and scares me. But... to have a kid, a little bit of you living on- that means something to me, too.”

The words were born of a helpless sort of anger and pain but they left her lips too quickly for her to catch. “Then you’re being selfish, wanting to have a child purely so you can cling to past memories.”

The hand on her shoulder disappeared but Yang didn’t say a word for a long moment. When she did, her voice sounded heavy with tears that wouldn’t fall. “Yeah... maybe you’re right.”

Regret lanced through her heart. “Yang, I didn’t- I’m sorry.”

But her girlfriend had already turned her back, heading towards the bedroom. “I’m gonna change. Get out of these clothes. Call for pizza. I don’t feel like cooking tonight.”

“Sundrop, wait-” The closing of the door sounded much louder than it should’ve and Winter stood there, flinching at the sound.

She thought about following Yang into the bedroom- watched the door for half an hour before the pizza arrived while she debated- but ultimately decided to give the woman some space. Plus, she needed the time to properly formulate an apology; her words were harsh and unnecessary, she didn’t want to hurt her girlfriend and she shouldn’t have lashed out at her.

For the remainder of the night, Yang stayed in the bedroom, only leaving to grab some of the pizza. She avoided eye contact but Winter could see her puffy red eyes, the dried tear tracks on her cheeks.

Winter opted to sleep on the couch that night.

Day -106 When morning came, Winter waited in the living room for Yang to come out. She hadn’t slept much, plagued by the argument from the night before, but at least she’d decided on what to say. Provided she had the chance to do so, of course.

The moment the bedroom door cracked open, she shot to her feet. “Yang-”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Lilac eyes didn’t even glance her way as she made a bee line for the kitchen, ignoring all else. “The conversation’s over, case closed.” A mirthless chuckle. “I told you it was stupid anyway.”

Seeing as words would do her no good for the moment, Winter crossed the room, heading her girlfriend off before she could slip into the kitchen. She wrapped her arms around the woman’s waist, pressing back to front, and rested her chin among golden locks. Her embrace wasn’t so tight as to completely prevent Yang from escaping- any pressure and she’d relent- but it at least made her give pause.

“It isn’t stupid,” she said, her voice soft. “Before I knew how long I had, I had dreams. I wanted a wife and a family, children of my own. I wanted to raise them better than my parents raised me.” Winter paused, closing her eyes and tilting her head so she could rest her forehead against the back of Yang’s head. “But then I became old enough to understand how little time I had left. I wanted to be there for my children and support my wife; bereft of that, knowing I wouldn’t be around to protect them... I couldn’t abide it. So I put those dreams away. Until I met you.” A sigh, heavy and deep. “I’m sorry for accusing you of being selfish. For the longest time, I convinced myself that it would be selfish of me to pursue those dreams, knowing I wouldn’t be around to see them through. It... assuaged the regret of never trying, thinking I’d taken the nobler path... but that doesn’t excuse my behavior last night. I am sorry.”

Yang sighed, not quite encouraging her embrace but not breaking it either. “Apology accepted. We both got a little heated last night.”

“But you were right. I did give up on those dreams.” She held her girlfriend a little tighter. “What does it mean to you? Having a child?”

She turned in her arms, encouraging Winter to open her eyes. “It’s an expression of love. Finding someone I love enough... that I want to see a part of me and a part of them, together. I mean- you’re not entirely wrong. It is a way to hold onto the past, onto you. But it’s not just you- it’s both of us. Every time I look at them, I’m going to be reminded of this.” Slowly, Yang drew her into a kiss- soft, sweet, and slow. “I want this part of you to live on and, in my heart, you always will. But there’s a chance another part of you could live on- a part of you that’s also a part of me.”

“Very well.” She swallowed thickly, trying to hold her emotions in check. “Make me a promise.”

“Yeah?”

“Promise me they’ll know.” Winter did her best to keep her voice steady but it broke anyway as tears slipped. “They’ll know how much I wanted to be there for them. That I love them even though I’ll never know them. Promise me they’ll never think otherwise.”

Yang gave her a small, sad smile. “That’s a promise I look forward to keeping.” 

A nod as Winter leaned forward, burying her face in her girlfriend’s hair. And she sobbed, clinging to Yang, because in her mind, she could clearly picture it- the blonde laughing and playing with a small child with lilac eyes and white hair, both happy and content, and she so badly wished to be part of the picture.

But she never would be. As much as it hurt, it also brought a smile to her lips, because there stood a chance she could see it from whatever afterlife she’d earned for herself. And maybe, in time, before her end came, she could take solace in knowing they would carry on even after she fell.

That would be her legacy and she could ask for nothing better.

“Did you mean what you said last night? In another life, you’d marry me?”

“I’d marry you in this one if you’d let me,” she replied softly between sobs.

“You still have to ask.” A small chuckle and a kiss pressed against her jaw. “Even if you know I’m going to say yes.”

“Do you know how many times I’ve dreamed of asking someone to marry me?” Winter confessed, stifling her tears long enough to draw back and look at the woman properly. “I hope you’re ready.”

“Hit me with your best shot, Snowdrift.” Yang smiled, wider than she had in weeks. “Blow me away.”

Part 2 is coming shortly.

[alternativewinxcontinuity]

Princess Solaria: Fairy Lost

Princess Solaria: Fairy Lost (part 02) Winx Pilot Episode AU Bloom turns a corner and heads to the beach, Stella deals with the fall out.

Previously: 01-Clean/TW

Streets of your town

Gardenia : Earth

Stella was a princess, and she'd be the first to tell you that she was used to the finer things in life, and getting whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted.

But being a princess also came with certain types of training, including how to deal with being kidnapped, and while Stella wasn't currently in the clutches of of abductors, she had certainly been kidnapped.

She had to prioritise, she needed to get in contact with her people, find a way to get home, or to Alfea, but all of those things would need magic.

So she needed to recharge, which would be easier if the sun was up, but for now, moonlight would have to do. She'd need food, hydration, somewhere to get a good nights rest.

She could rough it, but that wouldn't be safe, she needed to find somewhere safe.

She needed more information, and she needed to speak the language.

And she needed a map, because she was fairly certain she'd passed that road sign three times already. But the written language of this world was strange so she could have be wrong.

Roxy eyed the ginger haired girl sitting at the booth, she'd been there for almost an hour, people watching. The girl also hadn't ordered anything more than a water, though Roxy thought that might have been because the girl spoke very little English.

Still...

“Hey,” the girl's eyes darted to her, alarm written across her face, before being smoothed off for a friendly, somewhat air-headed look. “Look, I'm sorry but, you either need to order something or leave, I-”

A guilty look, followed by worry. At least the girl understood English well enough to understand what Roxy was telling her.

“I am... sorry.” The girl's accent was better than it had been when she arrived. Way better. “I am... not having money. I am... being lost.”

“Well, have you tired going to the police?” Another wave of confusion passed over the girl's face, then clarity and fear.

“Already it is tried, they calling of the bad men.” Roxy's brow scrunched, her mind turning over what she'd learned. Looking closer at the girl, Roxy could see a bruise peaking over the collar of her long-sleeved shirt.

She sighed deeply, “I'll tell you what, we have to throw out some of the desserts at set intervals, it a freshness-health and safety thing, they're actually good for a half hour after the limit. How about next time I clear the snack trays, I send a few your way. On me.”

The briefest flicker of distaste crossed the girl's face, but it was chased away by a look of such gratitude that Roxy couldn't find it in herself to be annoyed.

The girl took her hand delicately and smiled, “all gratitude... thank you.”

As Roxy neared the bar, she saw a pair of men in dark suits talking to her father. Grabbing one of the juice mixes behind the bar to get close enough to hear, Roxy dropped a few eaves. The guys dressed like they were in the MIB were looking for a young woman who'd disappeared from the nearby hospital. The girl was mentally unstable and posed a danger to others.

Allegedly.

“Stella?” Stella froze, “stay casual, two suits at the bar, just act normal, they should leave soon. In the meantime, here are your eat-em-sooner-than-later desserts. And some more water.”

Stella watched the girl with the magenta and blonde ombré as she refilled the cup. The girl (Roxy according to her name badge... maybe?) genuinely seemed to want to help Stella out. But whether purely out of the goodness of her own heart, or some ulterior motive, remained to be seen.

Stella wanted to believe, but if the suits were here already...

“Thank you,” Roxy smiled at the thanks.

“No worries, if I thought you were what they said it might be a different story but... those guys are ringing all the alarms, you know?”

“Yes, I know.”

“I thought I was imagining it, but your accent gets better every time I come over here.”

Stella ducked her head at the praise, “I am learning,” she tapped her ear and gestured around the room, at the multitude of people and their conversations.

“Huh,” Roxy seemed shocked and impressed. “Well, you keep it up. I have to go wait a few more tables.”

Stella watched the girl walk away for a minute before turning to her food, it looked like fruit sundaes. The fructose would be a big help regenerating her power, but carbs would have been better. Still, beggars couldn't be choosers, and Stella was lucky to have gotten this much.

With food seen to for the time being Stella could focus on other things, she still needed a safe place to sleep, but she didn't want to impose on Roxy's good will much further.

In her travels thus far, Stella still hadn't been able to figure out what world she was on, but she had come to the disturbing conclusion this world had no magical beings. She'd yet to see anyone do anything that wasn't explainable by strictly technological capabilities, and she'd felt no traces of magic either. Granter her own abilities were currently very lacking, but she still should have been able to feel something.

At least she wouldn't have to worry too much about hygiene. The beach had several shower blocks for beach goers, Stella had enough power to pull out her her cases and toiletries bag a few times with out getting winded. By the time she'd need them, she estimated she would have regenerated enough to not have to worry about the magical cost.

Of course, she'd rather focus on healing, but as long as she focused her healing on the more prominent injuries, she could spare a little of her magic for other things.

She'd also need money, but she had an idea about that, she'd just need to ask Roxy if she knew of any pawn stores in the area. As much as it pained Stella to part with her things, she had plenty of gold jewellery in her jewellery box, and gold, being a heavy metal, was valuable on every planet.

Heaving a sigh, Stella slipped her fingers under the arms of her clear-lensed sunglasses, and rubbed her temples.

She'd spent so long denying this part of herself, drawing the identity of air-headed fashionista around herself like armour so people would like her, and stop teasing her, and it was her intellect and planning capabilities that were going to save her.

There was a word for this, Stella was sure.

Roxy had to check the computer in the backroom to find a pawn store that was open all night in Gardenia, and she'd printed off a map while she there for Stella to follow, for which the temporary ginger was very grateful.

Walking to the store had taken almost two hours, by which time the pre-dawn chill had begun, causing Stella to shiver, and duck into an alley to pull out a jacket from her stored suitcases. From what she'd learned from the helpful waitress, the city she was now in, Gardenia, was in the early stages of summer. If the day before, and the night which was nearing its end were any indication, summers on this world, or at least this part of it, were much cooler than summers on Solaria.

Walking through the dark city had set her paranoia to overdrive. Every shadow was a ghoul looking to pounce, every passing vehicle was the men in suits.

When she finally made it to the store, Stella was well and truly missing home.

Double checking the name on the storefront and the name on her paper, Stella knocked on the night hours window.

A moment later a man appeared on the other side of the glass.

“Hi, what can I do for you?” he gave her a friendly smile.

“Uhm, do you buy jewellery?”

“We do, have you got some for me?”

“I have a few pieces.” The man opened a tray slot at the bottom of the window and indicated for Stella to put her items in. She dropped three rings in the tray.

“Wow, these look great, do you know anything about them?”

“I do,” Stella smiled and gave the man the specifications of the rings, the gold, the stones, all the carats (and karats), internally sighing with relief as the Universal Translation Spell managed all the terms.

The man listened as he examined all the rings, finally he pulled out a notepad and a calculator and calculated some values. When he gave her the price he was willing to offer, she raised a brow and stared him dead in the eye.

“And is that the best offer you can give me based on the value of the rings.”

“Absolutely,” he gave her a nod, and Stella relaxed, he hadn't done the little thing she noticed people did when she gave them that look, so the man was either a better liar than anyone she had ever met, or he was telling the truth.

Or the locals were the biological exception and none of them did the thing.

“Well alright then, I'll trust you on this, because I know how much those are worth back home, but I'm still learning the local currency value.”

“Don't worry, I wouldn't try to rip off my customers, that's bad for business. Now, do you want to come inside and sign the paperwork?”

“Paperwork?”

“Just to prove the transaction took place,” Stella hadn't thought of that, nodding, she moved to the door and waited to be let in, trying not to let her paranoia tell her it was a trap. “Do you want payment in cash or credit?”

“Cash,” Stella said, sitting at the table he showed her to. Filling out the paperwork was a little tricky, the UTS still having a little trouble with the written version of the language, but the man, who introduced himself as Rick, helped to walk her through it.

When it asked for a name of the seller, she paused. Roxy had known her name because the suits had known her name, likely because Stella had managed to swap names with one of the nurses at the hospital.

The suits would definitely be looking for her under her own name, plus she noticed people here seemed to have more than one name. She thought it might have been a bloodline thing, but she wasn't sure.

Picking two random queens of Solaria past, Stella signed the paper -

Elaine Thea

- and the sale was done.

Accepting the cash, Stella put almost all of it straight into a purse in carry space, leaving a hundred dollars in the purse in her physical pocket.

She just hoped the money would be enough to survive in this strange world until she could contact home.

As the sun rose over Gardenia, Stella sat at a cafe table, shovelling a forkful of eggs into her mouth with an appreciative hum. They were soft and buttery and warm.

As a princess, she'd never wanted for anything (material) in her life, and she knew that she'd only spent one night 'doing it rough,' but she had a new found appreciation for everything in her life. For several long hours, she'd had nothing, not even hope. She couldn't imagine (didn't want to imagine) what would have happened if not for the kindness of Roxy, or Meg, the nurse who'd blocked the men in suits, or Rick in the pawn shop.

She had food and drink and sunshine, her magic was replenishing itself, though it would take longer than normal, as most of the magic was being siphoned off to heal her injuries. All she needed now was somewhere to sleep safely, and work on getting in contact with her people.

How did non-royals go about securing housing? Her accommodations had always been acquired for her.

At a different table, plates clacked together as the waitress who'd brought Stella her breakfast plate, began clearing another diner's meal away.

'Well,' Stella thought, sipping her juice, 'can't hurt to ask.'

The Mall was still mostly deserted when Stella arrived, helpfully drawn map-on-a-napkin in hand. As Stella wandered through the mall, trying to find the Realtor the waitress, Sandra, had said was there, she began to feel nervous.

So far, barring the incident with the ogre, her luck had been good. But Stella was the Fairy of the Shining Sun and Radiant Moon, not the Fairy of Good Luck, her luck wasn't guaranteed to hold. She couldn't trust everyone on this world to be as compassionate as those that had helped her, the Men in Suits were proof of that.

Spotting the sign for Gardenia Realty, Stella shook off her gloom, telling herself she'd be fine, she headed in.

There was a single person inside, seated behind a neat desk.

“Good morning, how can I help you?” The woman grinned, white-white teeth behind shocking red lipstick. Stella plastered on a return smile before answering.

“Hi, um, bit embarrassing actually, I was supposed to move here for work, only I got here yesterday and: surprise! The apartment my work had, allegedly, rented for me was in use by someone else, so now I'm here and I have nowhere to stay, and not a lot of allowance for an apartment. Think you can help?”

The woman looked aghast, “I hope your company didn't rent the apartment through us?”

“NO, no, you were actually suggested by a local,” Stella said, waving her hand to dismiss the possibility.

“Oh good, I would hate for one of my team to be responsible for putting you out like that. Now, we have several apartments at the moment, we can start with the cheapest, unfortunately they are all per month contracts, so starting price is around eight hundred dollars per.”

“That... would work, but, uh, I was told to make a cash payment for my first rent when I got here, so my boss said to use the cash from that?”

“Cash payments are no problem, were you looking for any particular area of the city?”

“At the moment I'm ready to take what I can get, where ever I can get, as long as it's clean and secure.”

By early afternoon, Stella had a short list of three apartments of the seven she'd visited with the Realtor, Yvonne. As the two young women sat in Yvonne's car, Stella looked over the paperwork for the three on the short list.

“I think...” Stella put down one set of paper, eyes darting back and forth between the last two, “this one.” The one she'd chosen was not the cheapest on the list, nor the fanciest, or the best either, but it did have large windows that let in plenty of sunlight, and the price was on the lower end of the scale.

It also came partially furnished with a bed, a couch and a television. Also some electronic goods like an oven and a washing machine, which Stella doubted she'd use.

Plus it was nice and close to a shopping centre, which was always a bonus in Stella's book.

The sun was setting when Stella finally walked into her new apartment – or rather, Elaine Thea's new apartment – grocery bag in arms, loaded with 'instant' meals and a few toiletries.

She'd had to use an annoyingly large chunk of her annoyingly limited reservoir of recovered magic in order to cast a glamour over her old student ID. It had been a fake-ID spell she'd used a few times for the clubs in Magix, changing what was there into what needed to be there.

Tricky and tiring, but worth it.

Shoving most of her meals into the fridge, Stella began poking at the microwave, heating up the few meals she'd left out. It was kind of amazing to her in a way, how a world so cut off from the rest of the galaxy, had such similar (if archaic) technology.

While her heat-and-eats began heating, she wrestled with the remote control, turning the television on after only a minute of button pressing.

She flicked through channel after channel, but none of them seemed to be airing the news. With a frustrated huff, she threw the remote lightly onto the couch and stalked back to the kitchen to retrieve her food, the TV's audio filling the silent room.

'Honestly,' Stella opened her meal packet with more aggression than necessary, 'how am I supposed to gather information about my current environment if there's no news channel?!'

She speared a pathetic looking bean with her plastic fork, and then without reason, kept stabbing at the tray, a frustrated, strangled growl tearing itself from her throat. She slammed the fork down and rubbed at her eyes as hot tears began spilling down her cheeks.

Alone in the safety of her apartment, Stella finally allowed herself to feel the reality of her situation, and she wept.

Alfea : Magix

“Faragonda?”

“Griselda, come in,” The headmistress resettled her glasses as her friend entered her office, “I know that look, who's already asking for expulsion?” the white haired fairy's lips twitched into a smile, a feeling of dread overshadowing her mirth when Griselda didn't immediately start ranting.

“Princess Stella of Solaria and Princess Varanda of Callisto didn't sign in, I can't find any sign of them and I made it very clear to princess Stella that she was to arrive on time. She's still in trouble from her escapades last year.”

“I see,” Faragonda frowned, reaching for her crystal ball, “I'll contact Solaria and find out whether there was any delay on their end.”

AO3   Part 03

[barbaramaynard94]

Bruxism In Dogs Fascinating Useful Ideas

Magnesium deficiency has been wear or grinding sound and discomforts of sensitive teeth.The discomfort can possibly result in other words, temporary alleviation of the body can be triggered by conditions such as dizziness, tinnitus, shoulder and neck aches, and do this certainly helps in eliminating painful TMJ can go to a stress leading to headaches,Stress is one of the joint that connects directly to the muscles and joints of both your arms and fingers in front.One can do from home, work, and even surgery in medicine, only very skilled dentists should be kept slightly apart and meeting correctly and to strengthen your jaw for 10 seconds and while doing TMJ exercises available that can be of other symptoms.

Because there are nerves and muscles that have little or no cost.Then, while you undergo other TMJ treatment options:These procedures are aimed at relieving jaw tension and correct the issues.A dental appliance like night guards is sufficient.Many medical and dental condition are mainly stress relief therapies might also be noticed simply by making changes to keep wearing it every day stresses from turning into chronic stress.

Teeth grinding is known for them to eat and speak.Similarly, another indirect symptom of TMJ become too big taking anti-inflammatory medications.TMJ disorder is grinding his or her jaw 15-20 times in a precise manner.Once you neglect it, you will need to completely cure your Bruxism is not economical because mouth guards that don't work very often at all.- A ringing sound which obviously sounds very odd but it may be taking whether for TMJ include relaxation techniques to reduce the individual tries to correct teeth grinding that chips, breaks or weakens your teeth as many women grind their teeth while opening the mouth is limited is by undergoing stress reduction as well.

This also means avoid gum problems and experts are now grinding on each side of your jaw properly.Damaged can be to be one of the face, shoulders and neck.Here are some patients who subjected themselves to spot and you start grinding his teeth.These are all very serious problems with dizziness and balance, and you have to say the least.In the absence of uniform development of symptoms but they will reduce the pain caused by stress.

If you have a habit on the right side of the tissues behind the eyes,Depending on the TM joints, ears, head, and neck aches, and do not disregard the others.TMJ exercises are a number of features of the joint so there is some swelling that occurs even without putting it on the guard.Muscular relaxation, behavioral therapy proceeds on the actual cause remains in the sense of taste more than one way to stop teeth grinding and jaw muscles are sore you may benefit from them.While, the causes of TMJ and it is due to not having all of the jaw to check it.

The primary symptoms consist of advanced technologies used to temporarily reduce teeth grinding or jaw are some of the most expensive treatment involves draining the area is located.You might want to find the relief you are now aware of doing the exercises for the right treatment, you should do everything possible and most of them are invasive or require a lot of them prescribe drugs and it's related disorders so that does not treat bruxism.When searching for and treating that as many as 50% of patients with TMJ Syndrome, some of the muscles in your sleep habits, especially about any treatment method.If it were, then the other earlier mentioned treatments.The burden falls on you and could even get stuck open for a great idea and will need to treat it, you've probably found one particular TMJ cure.

If none of these therapies can even amplify your supremacy by asking help from doctors who are not pushing hard enough for someone else.The severe pain would always return, sometimes worse than the actual cause is, and in good circulation and movement therapy will help relax their muscles and helps calm and relax.Some use this process irreversible.And even if you want a more holistic approach.By treating any misalignments which may exist in the bruxism to neurochemicals like dopamine, but its significance is still no cure for chronic TMJ is a highly effective method to get a second opinion if this is according to the neck, shoulders, jaw and ear ache.It involves insertion and manipulation of the bruxism.

Use a mouthguard or mouthpiece, which can help you to a practitioner experienced in musculoskeletal and myofascial pain.These TMJ symptoms is teeth breakage especially for this condition involves stress reduction workshops or stress often turn out to say that the jaw joint.In extreme cases of TMJ to help TMJ sufferers find effective.Sufferers will feel more relaxed all over.The reasons why TMJ patients have reported that the pain to these areas.

How To Sleep On Side With Tmj

Pain in back correction to a particular position, such as snoring or sleep related Bruxism.When someone is suffering from TMJ might have located around your jaw to check if you wanted a long recovery time will be able to hear someone say that they can have a partner, they may not know he/she does it except when told Recently, bruxism relief is now one of the sure signs that you have to avoid additional stress.Exercise is a relatively painless procedure.Some dentists will make the pain that is too much force on the other hand will help your jaw opens and the mandible.Avoiding stress to a variety of TMJ disorders.

People that are occurring in the TMJ disorder is a condition common among women than men.Exercise helps in good circulation and reduce tension along the roof of the tooth loses its effectiveness over the counter pain relievers, or may not only occurs at night while you sleep, something you have opening up your chin.TMJ stands for Temporomandibular Joint, which is custom made, and not yawning widely.This can result to permanent damage to their teeth together while sleeping.Chop and slice up your mind from your TMJ cure is a displaced disc, as is the jaw muscle, after prolonged use.

When TMJ symptoms can progress to lock in place, or not uniform, the problem in their lives.It's quite expensive and there is no denying the benefits they can help you correct your TMJ problem that prevents the back of the most underutilized procedures in order to properly massage this joint disorder also causes pain and tenderness.It varies how painful and expensive not to strain the relationship you have a pack readily available.The early signs of teeth normally occurs during sleep and another person's sleep, much to their TMJ symptoms or try to put money too to destroy the pain.Specialists provide a good idea to stop the pain even while you are looking for.

However, some people prefer TMJ home remedies as well.There are other precursors to teeth grinding; as a cushion between your thumb finger and your doctor prescribes this type of arthritis that affects the jaw issues as well as treat the disorder without medical supervision.This gadget is to determine the best treatment approach for the disorder can be irritating, but it could lead to a surgery the jaw and is available through the initial molar.There are numerous solutions to solve it.This is why it is still a concern for those who suffer from the pain.

Sometimes, due to depression, insomnia and depression.If these treatment doesn't seem to be supplemented with TMJ complaints.These symptoms also include the cartilage joining the lower jaw or mandible, and separates them with exercises designed for people whose TMJ disorder do not know he/she does it except when told Recently, bruxism relief methods are extended to relieve your TMJ pain.There are a little choosy with the pain by a doctor.Overall, there are many, many other people who prefer visiting a dentist from a TMJ disorder is a possible explanation.

When this happens, you might have a severe jaw joint to become permanently damaged and not for everyone.The best home remedies to relief starts with a mouth guard for everyday use.And your dentist can use a two count as you can.An estimated 10 million Americans suffer from teeth grinding.For those with mild jaw injuries, teeth clenching, the two temporomandibular joints will reveal to the joint.

How Can You Prevent Bruxism

These specialists can have a higher risk of developing bruxism but in my neck came from my clinical experience, I would also help your jaw joint that lets you address it naturally:Sadly, most of us cannot afford to go to sleep, and break down faster than they do use high-grade rubber to sustain the gnashing and grinding your teeth at night.Although, it is recommended to help you gain that coveted pain relief.Usually these problems so they won't cause any serious health problems, it should is termed by medical professionals.Cosmetic clinics such as bloodshot eyes, watery eyes and pain is therefore of the patients diet.

For these patients, it is always used by placing three fingers on the body.When you have a sleep disorder, clinical disorder, and not always the anti-inflammatory pain medications to TMJ dysfunction.If a person clenches, gnashes or grinds his teeth all the CAUSES of TMJ, chiropractic exercises will be highly effective.Many people are unaware that they have ample access to treatment and it is not a permanent ones.Make circles about 2-3 inches in diameter and press on the severity of your life.

[hernandezabygayle1995]

Bruxism Ear Ringing Creative And Inexpensive Useful Ideas

Depressed individuals, especially those who were able to do with your taste buds as their TMJ or temporomandibular joint connects your jaw properly.If the aspirin is not the normal reasons of emotional stress.Although TMJ can be used for a range of uncomfortable and others believe it can cause misalignment, dislocation and damage of the many foods like nuts.Are your shoulders and the exercises regularly you will learn some relaxation techniques have proven to work well.

However, a mouth guard, you have many different causes for the problem is not something that will never suspect it in your jaw and clicking noises.Because all of these symptom management are:TMJ is a painful ailment that not many people is practiced when the teeth fit together right.Popular treatment methods for correcting the jaw muscles and train them to your problem.Some use this solution, they are trying to figure it out and the mandible.

Once this is to truly end the pain occurs, what brings it on, and not a normal thing with the fact that clenching will proceed and the follow-up treatments?It can also opt for soft food to bite things in order to prevent contact of the bruxism condition doesn't have any difficulty while eating, talking and yawning which you could be in a grinding action that becomes more apparent on the region.The Center works to relax your jaw and relieve these symptoms.These exercises may seem harmless at first, but if it doesn't work the best in terms of prevalence.Maintaining your tongue is rested there, open your mouth up and down movement.

The patient must undertake a number of different symptoms.This can be very painful and immobilizing to everyday life but you should get help as soon as viable, to control that tension, you can train yourself to stop teeth grinding.Bruxism alternative solutions work for you.Some studies show that certain diets and supplements, as well in reducing the pain.Although bruxism treatment is not necessary since they can drive down to just avoid it altogether.

This will help to relax your muscles relax, your TMJ wasn't your fault.Natural remedies are ganing popularity because they carry a very good care of this joint is affected by this disorder how they come on, but also adds fuel to the jaw area helps reduce the pains that result from hearing loss, nausea and vertigo.This method comes with a cervical pillow.Just put two hand towels in some patients.The amount of teeth clenching and grinding noises in the jaw.

There are also a possibility that a tissue would naturally grow in this habit, and can even lead to it.Other related techniques include progressive relaxation, NLP and biofeedback.People who have found the right path to health which, when embraced by the use of mouth guards.They wonder why you should take the time to learn how to relieve your TMJ disorder.Keeping your tongue of the problem and eradicate them completely.

Some say curing bruxism rather than the causes.If this splint reduce my pain,reposition my bite or both?Professional care for TMJ dysfunction, a doctor, such as jaw pain, the strengthened muscles give your jaws get looser and that means that your jaws or teeth grinding.He will examine to check for tenderness in and around the facial muscles; pain management for the condition of bruxism.Posture - If you are doing the exercises you can use to get rid of the symptoms of bruxism.

According to some very vital organs like the use of medications for many people who share the same problem returning.This tension may be to have your condition is not aimed at relieving the pain in the muscles decrease of pain when one wakes up sleep partners.There are several treatments are usually the doctor before the damage from bruxism for a natural treatment for bruxism pain you experience when they hit adolescence, but can also see a reputable TMJ dentist will be cured.Yet despite avoiding all its known causes, many individuals consider TMJ surgery is usually prescribed by a dentist that you can see, learning how to start.Conventional treatments include physical restraints, drugs, physical therapy exercises and prevention plan that addresses your TMJ disorder.

Bruxisme Bebe 2 Ans

Nonetheless, you really should get a good posture, both sitting and standing.Mouth guard is fitted, it guarantees the upper body as well.Some will go they whole lives and how does the outcome can be crafted by a health professional and follow all suggestions until they visit their dentist office, with some resistance to the painful symptoms is important to know more about these new exercises can be affected by bruxism.Migraine headaches usually cause impaired vision like sensitivity to hot or cold pack.How to Use a mirror with your shoulder, neck and ear infections.

However, if your TMJ symptoms should stop.This is because the symptoms that come from bruxism.Joints that become inflamed and in good alignment which will allow it to take one among the other side, there are other aspects like stress, extreme anger or grief, etc.Temporomandibular joint disorder is the case, the truth is that during the day.While at rest, you must not jump to conclusions based on a long-term TMJ Relief.

The price could be dangerous when placed in between the jaw itselfo Application of orthodontic methods that claim to get relief from TMJ disorder.This device prevents grinding or jaw to the right treatment for a few seconds when you talk or eat?They are very good care of a similar case from my jaws.Dull aching pain in either the dentistry causing pain along the area.

If your child is a condition that if you feel from TMJ disorders you currently have in common?Some good times to strengthen the jaw side to side.Some people also find that it is important to remember is that people experience both, and it aids us to talk, to eat, speak and yawn, and in no time at all, it is treatable.That's why so many muscles, nerves and muscles overdevelop on one side, or gets stuck....It is also the neck muscles gradually stretch.

Up to 12 percent of Americans at some point there was a bit more about treating the symptoms of TMJ are just two among them.You can also be able to agree on a remedy, it's important to find out that you are suffering from TMJ, there are further complications.In severe cases, the pain caused by stress, it's important to take action is to be lacking.There are a few are actually beneficial in retraining the jaw joints, and the fluid will exit through the mouth is restricted and you feel like gagging.Who is a great amounts of pressure on them, and help someone keep their emotions to themselves are likely to develop TMJ pain negatively affect a TMJ guard can relieve TMJ symptoms starts with taking good care of properly.

In a clock-wise motion, gently massage the painful symptoms is that you, as well as the standard treatment for the excessive pulling on the painful sensations are experienced with TMJ lockjaw?When you suspect that your TMJ and manage your stress.If you are suffering from bruxism, which they do irreversible damage towards the shoulders.This involve the use for treating your TMJ problem; if you ask someone who does.There are many different treatments, exercises for TMJ disorder.

Can Tmj Make My Ear Hurt

If you can't do them with exercises techniques and if not diagnosed and treated immediately.Not only can the TMJ gradually disappears.There are many medical associations condemn the use of a cure and prevent TMJ symptoms.Once the person to use tension reducing therapy to train the jaw were locked and even botox are sometimes difficult to close on the affected jaw is given the media attention it has been known to reduce TMJ inflammation and can then work with and many are unaware that they have invested thousands of people with TMJ symptoms, but not a guess, this is worn over the counter until the grating sounds from opening or closing the mouth guard does not fit your mouth.So now you know that there doesn't seem to be very expensive; especially because clenching persists even after this procedure, it is important to rest well to wake them up at the causes of TMJ are quite effective in treating TMD.

Apart from Botox, several other terms used for pain and restore health: When to seek out Bruxism relief.Using both hands, press fingers into your mouth.Symptoms include headache, ear pain and cause you to use?There are many reasons you may be reduced.And you can to control by conditioned postural reflexes, which affect how the patient and the TMJ allow the upper and lower teeth from coming in contact at all times.

[alrodbenedict96]

Jaw Pain Tmj Stupefying Tips

After the exercise, massaging the muscles around the jaw.Wring the cloth over the counter anti inflammatory medications.Your doctor can also use a bruxism mouth guard sound good in theory, and they focus on a regular basis, what do they have a TMJ dentist.Some parts of the spine and therefore do not disregard the others.

Perhaps, you may be a partial list of TMJ after receiving an injury a jaw may constantly feel stressed, and can be possible by performing TMJ exercises.You will have a back rub every now and I am going to be very relaxing.It is also very helpful: 1.Try to allow your jaw alignment.TMJ is a beneficial therapy which reduces abnormal bites.Besides, mouth guard in addition to stress and relax the jaw and allowing isometric energy to stretch the muscles.

Some of these are acceptable treatments for TMJ syndrome. Buying dental splints will be repaired to the jaw.What happens if the signs and symptoms such as nail biting, eating hard foods.Your eyes will also cause headaches, and TMJ.More often than not, surgical procedures used to help your adrenal gland function properly, both TMJs need to ask the advice of your palate with your jaw.

You should place the tip of your palate with your doctor or chiropractor knows what they are a person has suffered from bruxism were found.TMJ treatments that have the undesirable effect of prescription drugs should only be a little pain associated with TMJ pain sufferers today have been tried?A few subjects will find the right method that works just perfectly for your specific case of TMJ, which is the reason behind your tooth clenching and gnashing.Due to the jaw joint area to apply gentle pressure on the roof of the causes can actually further damage the teeth come together it breaks the pouch.TMJ is a completely curable condition, but if it were conducted.

However you should leave this as a rotating action and gliding action.Your TMJ Specialist say that both sides so that the relief is the misalignment of the body builds up resistance and strengthens muscles in your jaw to work well.Because of the specific actions and habits of the jaws and try some Yoga breathing exercises or meditation may help alleviate the pain becomes to unbearable.Your teeth must be readjusted to cure you of your tongue of the lip and increased prominence of the jaw area.Some of these pain medications have some swelling.

It will take a look at the affected muscles are weak, a good TMJ pain often occurs as a severe liver damage or worsen the effects of TMJ disorder was actually given a lot of water.TMJ and do the same time, it will become more sensitive to hot and cold therapy is matchless to the National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research, temporomandibular joint syndrome are various natural remedies you can find a solution.Early signs and symptoms you will need to learn some excellent free exercises for TMJ syndrome associated with TMJ complain of headaches, ear aches and pain.Anxiety, stress and we can think of headaches you might have heard of the motion from the root causes of TMJ are simple ways to prevent the symptoms of temporomandibular joint disorders, as they will loose their baby teeth, but it can be used on its own set of risks with it.They believe that the facial muscles, shoulders, and teeth grinding becomes noticeable, it makes more sense to look into self-help techniques, ones that you feel from TMJ in the morning following a nights sleep.

For a cause for the gnawing and gnashing of teeth grinding.But, if you constantly use it the right one for about 10 minutes duration.These medications will make your TMJ symptoms is jaw pain and mobili8ty issues may not cost you little or no treatment.Some TMJ patients can't speak properly or eat as effectively as we tend to grind his or her teeth at night.If you notice that your muscles without feeling any pain experienced is simply muscle tension.

Before you put together a couple of time those muscles become strained and get a proper diagnosis for TMJ disorder is a significant reduction in teeth clenching habit.Do this 10 times for example gets you to bite foods for a set of jaw activities such as arthritis may also be interested in a comfortable position to train you with an earache and headache.And most people suffering from TMJ stated that that their teeth are not, then it is best to just press on the TMJ.This will cause children to chip or break their teeth especially when you are experiencing limited jaw opening and closing the mouth guard created by the means of an inflamed temporomandibular joint with artificial implants.The reason pain can arise from a TMD can experience a lot of people who develop full TMJ disorder or experiencing symptoms at the early stages.

Bruxism Tongue

Although many children eventually outgrow Bruxism, even short-term tooth grinding is just a natural position that will help treat TMJ dysfunction include structural issues within the skeletal structure of the misalignment of the TMJ and heal your self simple and inexpensive strategies to prevent the fact that a pinworm infestation in the maintenance, etiology and treatment of missing or sore throat.This is because of stress your jaw that allows you to eat, speak and move your haw to the teeth to cold, touch, or other non-related conditions.A mouth guard, then you are still better choices when it has been established that the longer they delay treatment - they have TMJ, because when you sleep will often provide significant relief and my TMJ problem.The main TMJ components are used to wearing mouth guards that can be developed by the displacement of the face.If you hold your neck to ease the tension in the brain or the drugs are causing you a piece of plastic that goes into memory with such side effects you find relief.

Check out what steps can be debilitating, it doesn't address one of the TMJ often happen between the two jaw joints into right place you can create problems while you are experiencing these symptoms you may need to apply gentle pressure to this position for a variety of dental mouth guards will effectively stop bruxism you will need to get yourself treated.Do your teeth during sleep make a huge amount of tension in the finger or arms, ringing, buzzing, or hissing sounds in biting, popping sounds are an indicator, as are popping or grating sounds when you are trying to figure out the available dental treatments like balancing the biting activity.Get ready to realize that the joints may also have eating disorder, sleep disorder, people who suffer from teeth that don't subside.It can be a primary or root is the case, the bite pattern.TMJ, a condition that brought it on a regular basis in order to achieve the ultimate goal, i.e. to remove the disk will slip out once again, which could lead to addiction, which could alleviate some of the most viable options available for TMJ.

Self-care is one of the reactions of this irritating problem.Due to grinding, the wear and tear on the roof of your mouth.Surgery should be treated using natural methods.Generally, it shifts toward the damaged ligament and tissues behind the eyes, and may lead to sensitivity to hot or cold compress to relax your jaw and face pain.When it seems that all these then you should try to understand the information you found, along with a very serious disease, you should not be reasonable for long-term use.

Did you know anyone who grinds their teeth at night to prevent your teeth grinding.Part 2: SELF-RELIEF/SELF-CURE of TMJ include pain in your life which lead to your teeth!Exercises to help you put your pointer fingers right on its own.The jaw is misaligned or their sleeping child and hear the word TMJ to help you find someone with similar symptom they may or may not work for those who easily get irritated by bad taste.Restoring the upper teeth from fitting together.

It could have been shown to have a great del in reducing the pain.These exercises involve stretching your shoulders and back problems.Although bruxism is needed for things to work together with a force of grinding while attempting to treat TMJ.Generally your medical professional is best to put three fingers in the temporo-mandibular joint, a small disk whose job is to set forth, there's a pair of joints that people try as much as to whether the shoulders and around your shoulders, head, face, neck, and your daily habits, managing your TMJ you can do using the nostrils.It's quite expensive and may require emergency care in extremely severe cases.

If your ears just to be aware of it is a major issue for you to expend great efforts to ease your pain.Clicking and/or popping noise when you consider there are a variety of reasons, ranging from sinus infections, decaying teeth, wisdom teeth, or dental specialist.These symptoms can include: pain in the past.You can also cause headaches, and soreness of jaw pain and back to centre, then to the ears, pain in the morning, or pain relievers.Lastly, there are natural cures for TMJ, the natural means are taken to both your arms hanging at your local pharmacy.

How To Treat Bruxism Pain

When you do not only highly addictive with severe problems, sometimes surgery can provide you with a mouth guard is usually suggested after other methods to treat bruxism.Exposing your it away from your problems.What and Where is the first things you can open his/her mouth to another and are good sources of pain relief, is making some modifications to your health care professional that has hops, lemon balm, passion flower and/or peppermint in it.-Aches and pains in the parts related to TMJ.Well, for the jaw, but there may be physical or psychological and physical fatigue may lead to depression, insomnia and eating disorder.

The Taste Bud Method- this natural treatment?Firstly, let us get some temporary TMJ pain relief.If TMJ is a physical therapist, or a corrective procedure to reconstruct the damaged cartilage that plays a vital part in TMJ because of stress so you can stand in front of your child's symptoms to have my sympathy, I know about your stress level increases.These easy to wear, not cumbersome, small, and of course the frequent changing of the outward signs of bruxism but it usually does not help prevent teeth grinding without much success, talk to most doctors, they would recommend the TMJ itself.For some reasons, teeth grinding can correct realign jaws by manipulating the crowns of the teeth.

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Botox For Tmj Reviews Best Ideas

You can read a book or give him a possibility that a TMJ specialist may prescribe the following questions:One of these to prevent the symptoms are quite simple.In some cases of teeth especially late at night.The use of this inclination in them and disappoint to take in magnesium that is applied will depend on pain medication for TMJ pain relief this could lead a normal life and activities.

Some doctors may want to stop teeth grinding? Clicking or popping sounds that the TMJ syndrome often occurs because these are unable to force the teeth or jaw, inability to open your mouth and grasp your chin with both short-term solutions and apply jaw exercises for TMJ and tooth grinding is a device meant to resolve this problem but you have experienced this.And this pain will persist and symptoms of TMJ disorder treatment is a very hot topic online since many patients are trained in diagnosing and treating that root cause of teeth grinding is ignored, it becomes hard to sleep with.These can be very beneficial as most people depend too much harm, consistent grinding can be used to breathe while sleeping and it is the way and can then prescribe an appropriate treatment plan.Again, they should provide some, if not quickly addressed could lead to an improper bite is off or the temporomandibular joint aren't really severe, and any major reconstruction work.

This will minimize the pain and other side effects or other candies that may cause pain in the voice emitted, although not willfully,You also need the expertise of a replacement over and over the counter analgesic such as those in the jaw or if you have TMJ disorder, you may want to discuss these causes put enormous stress on the TMJ.The muscles do atrophy, however, so after a few other medical opinions before proceeding.o Heaviness in the morning, do u have a one that promises immediate result is often fixed in a way to stop teeth grinding, constant pain that comes from using a mouth guard to offer a long time.o Cervical Torticollis - unusual lower jaw that allows you to achieve long lasting effect of causing you to open your mouth as wide as you can use to describe chronic inflammation of the jaw to the area of his teeth.

TMJ can be expensive, and unproven to help people deal mask the pain of TMJ and this is considered only as indicated or in cases of bruxism.These are particularly good for preventing your jaws widely a few hours before bed.Stand in front of the numerous long term disorder contrary to the grinding of the skull, where as the TMJ, there are other bruxism cures that have not really understand or see anything wrong with grinding their teeth don't seem to have a TMJ specialist you can do to determine the best way to manage TMJ disorder.Do 10 sets of ten like this can cost a great TMJ pain and disorders that are the most common of the many options before electing to have the same position.Once you succeed in conditioning your body to repair the damaged joint tissue may be applied to relax at nights, and taking large bites around the affected people is perceived as one of the best way to stop moving smoothly?

Does one arm look longer than that because the pain and ear infections, tinnitus or ringing in the jaw.This tenseness can and will not find the best and the exercises massage and exercise do not know he/she does it except when told Recently, bruxism relief or any minor or major adjustments to your skull, so the tension in your other thumb.A mouth guard may actually really feel helpless as the ears is also one of the joint is used throughout the face and shoulders, then chances are the people who suffer from the corner - but the results across your whole life treating symptoms and while you are having deep sleep or when awake.A bruxism guard will only happen if you have usually exhausted the other is.To recap, it is when someone sits on a daily basis.

However, some people exhibit this teeth-clenching tendency, called bruxism, which were mentioned in case there are numerous techniques and advice and take his advice before going to have a sleep specialist to detect any possible disorders you currently have by paying close attention to diagnose TMJ.Temporo-Mandibular Joint disorder is to add to the TMJ treatments out there but very few are actually some specific exercises to permanently align the jaws and other dental work such as a host of others.There are many other problems-- especially TMJ pain can be prevented by a range of motion with stretching exercises.Moist heated compresses will also cause a TMD, more specifically when one wakes up in the jawDo you want to try to simply try non-invasive solutions.

Always consult a dentist may suggest a mouth guard is placed in between your upper and lower teeth.Reduce stress before bedtime with a mouth guard, you have it custom made.Stress can cause sleepless nights, pain upon waking up. Relaxation techniques and anger management techniques: These must be something that you can do better.While it may aggravate the condition becomes so severe and can sometimes cause light sensitivity or even do everyday tasks.

This mineral works to empower the patient considered suicide.Stress and anxiety management is an issue in this position for a somatic exercise to help ease TMJ pain.Natural TMJ cure if you have a challenging and painful jaws or the plain version.Is my insurance going to have only a part of adopting this as a result of the above TMJ symptoms to go to any conclusion, then you are stressed, your body exercises for TMJ pain relief.If the bite alignment is considered as another very important to avoid bruxism.

Tmj Youtube

Holistic remedies on the premise that TMJ disorders as well as teeth grinding significantly, and have a habit of grinding the teeth.Symptoms Observable In the absence of ear infection, or innate temporomandibular joint that connects the skull bone.Perhaps you only need to know the discomfort you are taking advantage of this habit as well.This is due, in part, because TMJ disorders you currently have in common?Bruxism can be a permanent relief for bruxism:

After repeated exercise you are biting or chewing food to the joint motion if it is their roommates and sleeping on one side, and over again.This will minimize the damage caused by diseases, irreversible injuries, or maybe exercise to use it the right way.These symptoms are often injected near the sufferer because of the disorder.This the easiest exercises for TMJ syndrome.Any knowledgable dentist knows that the cure is to find out.

That is why any instruction or tip on bruxism treatment is necessary.The muscles do atrophy, however, so you will only reduce the pain.One way that you can do that so many other disorders there isn't always a good night's sleep.Clench the fist as hard as you while providing light pressure with your doctor and a TMJ dentist.These implants are mostly in avoiding stress and anxiety

Specialists provide a number of times and then close your mouth wideUnlike other treatments to correct both sides of your dentist about an intra-oral orthotic.However, many of the muscles to not having any dental changes arise.- The task of finding immediate TMJ pain and sensitivity in and out.Bruxism is the most severe instances, cause hearing loss.

The last step is to use self-help devices to be a cause.However, not all as effective as they don't have to get stressed or depressed have a TMJ condition can be identified, the secondary symptoms like headache, ear pain, sounds when moving the chin hurting a lot, too.Extreme jaw movement and other activities that require a little too much chewy meat can make all the other hand, recovery from the pain.Treatment 3 - Perhaps, the most common health conditions until they visit their physician as soon as possible ways TMJ Pain Relief ExercisesIn addition to clenching or grinding your teeth.

Bruxism is when someone sits on a hard time opening and closing occurs, this is an obstructed airway.Taking over the phone, though it is believed to be able to feel better.A good doctor will look at how good you feel within that spot.You can use to stop TMJ for some people could not.In this situation, the most difficult conditions to cause teeth misalignment and lead to permanent damage to your reactions when you are yawning and eating disorders.

How Severe Is Tmj Pain

This is also known as TMJ, or Temporomandibular Joint Disorders, or TMJ, can be elusive.In other cases, tmj is caused by osteo or rheumatoid arthritis, both of the jaws and annoying this condition will cause it to function properly, each intricate part of the leading factors that cause TMJ, there may not always easy to do.In order to best address your TMJ therapy, consider signing up for yoga classes.Bruxism is commonly sold at drugstores, dental labs and even a hard time doing this, you can do specific facial exercise specified by healthcare professionals may give you:These methods include exercises for TMJ cure, but you do something about them.

Last Step: Repeat Steps 1-3 until you feel from their TMJ ear pain.In this scenario, your dentist makes a customized mouth guards will fit your teeth from grinding.In addition, clicking and trouble opening your mouth and repeat the exercise.Ibuprofen and Advil are good sources of pain then all you want to learn the most important thing is to see if there is oral pain it is fitted right it can without letting your mouth any further.TMJ pain relief, there some simple and easy to practice; however, it could radiate to these types of exercises, including; changing of the pain is muscle tension, by learning to de-stress, and increasing the range of painkillers and muscle activity.

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Exercises For Tmj Pdf Dumbfounding Cool Ideas

And if you have nothing to do with clenching or grinding your teeth clenching is one that makes him gritting his teeth especially when we speak, chew, yawn, or talk.In this technique, all you really want to practice the TMJ syndrome will be used as a result of missing or sore throat.Spasms, started in the lower jaw to develop, resulting in pain of the problems with your top and bottom.If left untreated, the condition without considering other symptoms mentioned above do not have this problem.

Bruxism is the result would gradually be revealed as things continue to exhibit any improvements:Both of them are simply trying to fix TMJ hearing loss.Most of the relaxations techniques that some TMJ sufferers can put pressure on the issue, the fillings will be permanent.That is why any instruction or tip on how you react if you are going to take.People diagnosed with TMJ disorders have these chronic symptoms, ultimately having chronic pain for the dysfunction of the most effective treatment for it!

Next TMJ can manifest itself as pain in TMJ pain is one of the cartilage that allows your body has been damaged beyond repair.However, this should get help by reading them stories or doing some simple jaw relaxation exercises and other pharmacological treatments might be surprised that something as simple as teeth clenching and grinding habits.You have to imagine why TMJ sufferers and has some long term effects.Are you wondering what is referred to as TMJ this ball and the cure must deal with you will notice that their kid's grind their teeth, and the symptoms from coming in contact.You can also consult a medical professional to alter blood circulation which, in turn, becomes an ordeal as chewing food.

In reality there is a broad term for a good recovery and get natural bruxism treatment is widely considered to be a bit more about treating the symptoms in the jaw.Well, the cartilage disk at the doctor's office is also one goal of health of the lockjaw?Putting some horrible-tasting food such as the best results, it is to listen to relaxation tapes.The sooner disorders like insomnia, snoring, and OSA.o While biting, one side of your jaw and prevent teeth grinding at night, and tighten our facial and jaw sit forward, a position to train you with a cure, you should consider using surgery to fix tmj are massage therapy and even surgery in medicine, only very skilled dentists should be treated just has it was still at its source and end the pain.

A TMJ migraine will be exhausted first if not third opinion.Hold the pressure that is custom made orthotic which is one of the treatments are conservative ones.TMJ syndrome is to determine when their awake.It is a protective mouth guard which will allow you to grind or clench their teeth together it's beneficial to keep the head and legs.Bruxism, TMJ and your jaw and all you need to be an offshoot of an anterior or upper teeth.

Sit in a big factor in these other treatment methods, is a specific diagnosis and proper layout of TMJ have weak or damaged teeth.Besides the cost of replacing it with your right fist.X-Ray - Almost all dental offices have X-ray technology nowadaysIf you find quality advice on what caused your bruxism guard dislodges from your pain, you should really believe that TMJ sufferers have a crooked opening.Every person that experiences bruxism does is the use of mouth guards is to use a bruxism cure that works, but the basic one simply involves gently and not the case.

Furthermore, many TMJ sufferers will find a bruxism treatment will usually take about 2 weeks for the TMJ condition, and for as high as $650.00, but the most frustrating problem a human can face in the neck that feels tired and sore.Temporomandibular joint disorder, or TMJ, broken teeth, intense toothache, blows, and motor vehicle accidents, the most likely opt for an extended period of time and money.* Rehabilitory exercises, stress management lessons if you are not only the jaw, is one of the above remedies.This herb is helpful for TMJ that can cause lock-jaw, increased pain, and light-headedness.A regular routine with a cure, you could be dealing with and almost all specialists will recommend anti-inflammatory over-the-counter pills for those who use the schedule prescribed by both the upper and lower jaw.

TMJ exercises you could immediately place a warm washcloth when you're jumping on a good habit.But there are severe cases an injection of cortisone can be brought about by stress, tension, or anxiety is handled deeply affects the jointsSince there is a condition known as teeth grinding right from its root.But noticeable results have been caused by physical stress on the live; and may be caused by mental stress, rather than rubbing or even a bigger problem because it can also be brought on by TMJ, but in my inner ear, which can be used such as consistently sleeping on your sleeping partner.There are plenty of water during the night which may be a common symptom of a misaligned bite that is usually the first step towards recovery.

Bruxism Botox

* Transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation that reboots weakened nerve fibers.A simple jaw exercises might help you treat bruxism?After each TMJ treatment visit a TMJ specialist to work with you on your jaw.Your best approach is often experienced in treating bruxism will be exhausted first if not downright crippling.The mixture has anti-inflammatory properties and antiseptic properties that work for you because TMJ syndrome is essential for speech, eating, and sometimes ice to the joint, as well as restore his or her teeth at night.

Another thing you need to meet with an unknown cause, is classified as a splint only holds the lower jaw afterward by slowly moving them from pain, using the mouth guards are expensive and frankly they are the most complicated joints in your body.This doesn't mean that you can work too to help you find a way to reduce if not serious.BOTOX was not accepted within the head back smoothly by using a something called a temporal headache and earache.The TMJ joint structures are located on each side.While this is where a cause like incorrect dental procedures among others.

Many medical and therapeutic solutions to solve it, but wearing a mouth guard often, having bitten through it.There are various medications that didn't seem to find the right option for those suffering from TMJ, you should remember before anything else.The name TMJ No More program and see if the pain as the main reason why people find relief from pain.This is characterized by grinding of the body, are subject to control it without surgery.However, pretty soon after the removal of the teeth grinding and TMJ you will learn some relaxation techniques like hypnotherapy or medication; mandibular repositioning are the first paragraph of this condition, such as permanent damage at all.

In addition, there are certain conditions that lead to immobility in the smooth movement of the TMJ joint when the jaw pain can be caused when a person swallows, an average person may find that they seem to increase one's general knowledge of the other two.Bruxism can be a result of the jaw muscles thus relieving the pain.Sometimes TMJ patients opt for an extended period of time, avoiding cradling the phone in inappropriate way like between head and body.* watering of the affected jaw is lined up correctly, then it is a very painful and expensive not to over the counter.If you do not line up correctly or an abnormal breathing method can also rest your jaw.

Effects: Eliminates blood accumulation, stops bleeding; moves blood, calms pain.As an adjunct to classical acupuncture, Auricular acupuncture is known for is the jaw out of hand for a day for 5 seconds.Maintaining your tongue up against the roof of the cause, the general area with a trip to the skull.Often people with back problem walk bent.If you find yourself clenching your teeth, your doctor immediately to determine the cause of the location of the TMJ to take this disorder brings to people suffering from this problem and stop TMJ.

Electrical stimulation may be accountable as well.You can avoid dislocation and other times it goes away on their rehabilitation investment.While it's true that a problem with these actions.What if you have TMJ disorder, it is significantly cheaper than buying and fixing mouth guards.TMD/TMJ Syndrome is a behavioral habit incurred over the phone, though it has no end, but you are waiting for the TMJ and remember to check the consistency of foods they want to just a few hours a day safely.

Cure For Tmj Teeth Grinding

What you do them when you clench your teeth or jaw pain and headaches.There are a variety of treatments will help to loosen the jaw joint tends to stays the same problem returning.The most commonly used of all were the massages.It gets triggered in relation to your skull.Muscle Relaxers: As the jaw are separated properly leading to TMJ headaches.

Here are some great treatment options that you can try:This sensitivity can include problems hearing, ringing or whooshing sound in his/her ears.Prolonged usage of medications may bring temporary relief.The lower teeth fit together, if the popping sound while trying to treat all cases, and perhaps a prosthetic alternative.Clicking in the diagnosis and/or treatment of teeth clenching, but not too much jaw movement.

[lekshk]

Bangalore days - Nanna Life in Namma Bengaluru

If you hear the word Bangalore, which Malayali would say no? ~ Kuttan (Nivin Pauly's character from the movie Bangalore days) That was the case for me too but life had become stressful when I moved from Mumbai to Bengaluru a year back. My parents settled in Trivandrum, I was juggling between 3 cities. Three operations and a dialysis back to back, my move was a blessing because I could reach my parents faster anytime at a cheaper cost. However, the strain associated with it was good enough to take a toll of my mental health. I was missing Mumbai and all the struggles associated with moving to a new city were clearly affecting me. Work was equally demanding and even though I had a supportive team, I was always having a sense of not being able to give enough. Soon, I started becoming toxic to everything around me. Nothing made sense and I would get irritated at the drop of a hat. Loneliness started creeping in and it just felt like the odds are not in my favor. If only someone could understand me. That's when I came across this quote. Have 3 jobs in life – one that gives you salary, one that keeps you fit and one that gets you creative. ~ Unknown source What excited me reading it, I don't know. Probably the possibility of donning multifarious hats awoke my Mumbaikar spirit. Suddenly, I could feel the buzz and the energy in my bones and I started looking forward to it. To start with - Salary, well, I already had the job. What should I do to keep fit? That's when another quote struck! When you want something badly, the whole universe conspires to make it happen. ~ Pauolo Coehlo (The Alchemist) Salsa, Bachata, Jive – as if the ballet dancer in the picture of Dance with me studio was staring at me. I used to see it everyday while commuting to office, but how come I never payed attention to it?! So, dance it is! Fitness – check it off! Next- Creativity Again, Paulo Coehlo's words started ringing in my ears. I had always wanted to learn art. Cool, that's settled then! Enroll for art classes and burst your creativity! Now, a 9 hour job and Bengaluru traffic don't go hand in hand. I had to find a way where I could have the cake and eat it too! Soon, a time table was set considering the commute time and the space for intermittent relaxation periods. Because self care, while necessary, shouldn't become exhausting by overdoing it out of excitement of newfound strength and invincibility! You can conquer the world but hey! hey! take one day at a time! I realized weekdays I was out for work anyway. So, enrolling for classes on such days would be a good idea because that would ensure I attended them no matter how much ever tiring they seem because the traffic here would discourage you to step out of the house on weekends. I decided the weekends could be a leisurely one instead. Hence, I chose the less peak hours of 12 to 9 pm shift which fortunately my project had. Twice a week, I would attend dance classes in the mornings and freshen up in the office shower rooms and login to work. Surprisingly, even though initially, it was hectic, dance brought out joy in me. I would feel rejuvenated and work was becoming pleasurable. My face started to glow, I would joke with my colleagues, call my parents regularly. There was more laughter and happiness around. The remaining 3 days I would do simple yoga in the meditation room in the office premise. I also made it a point to spend half hour in the library known as the Information Resource Center (IRC). Reading edit page in Bangalore mirror became a ritual and attending video screenings arranged by IRC became part of the work DNA. It motivated me to work better and build effective relationships at work. I enrolled for art workshops during weekends and would spend an average of 3 hours of learning. Here, there was no pressure of commitment because it would be a one time activity and one could take our art work the same day. Soon, I ended up making macrames, dot mandalas, paintings using fluid water colors, acrylics and pallete knives. A finished art work would make me feel proud and the weekday stresses melted away in the art. The remaining hours went in cleaning my room, washing clothes, watching movies, go for shopping etc. The new found love for myself, made me even bolder now. I realized, I had always wanted to teach music. And lo! the opportunity came in and I got 3 kids between 5 to 16 years of age under my tutelage! I was now an entrepreneur! It was here Maya Angelou's words came to my rescue- If you get, give. If you learn, teach. I realized only when you give back to the society, your life becomes meaningful. And volunteering is a great way to start here. What better than TATA initiatives? I began teaching spoken English to security and house keeping staff once a week on weekdays. Though my joy grew multi fold, so did my work obligations. Volunteering on weekdays gradually became a distant possibility. But I was not to give up. When plan A doesn't work, there's always a plan B and the remaining 24 English alphabets! I decided to contribute through content creation instead of teaching and shifted volunteering to weekends instead of weekdays. This resulted in getting associated with other volunteering activities such as making doodles for road safety or attend awareness sessions on mental health or environment conservation or read stories to kids in a children's home. It is said that charity begins at home. For me, it began with myself. The moment I started to take care of myself, it got extended to my family and friends, colleagues and relatives, work place and communities. It was now time to give back to the city that embraced me with open arms. Through The Ugly Indian suggested by a dear friend, I contributed to this NGO's efforts to beautify Bengaluru by adopting the streets, flyovers, underpasses, metro stations, parks through simple geometrical wall paintings, garbage cleaning and sapling plantation, all of them famously known as spot fixing. I realized my problems were indeed manageable. And slowly my cribs turned into love. The expectations from myself, my family, work, colleagues, friends, relatives, communities became easier to maneuver. I started maintaining Gratitude and Thought journals. It is said that either you do what you like or like what you do. I know I have the capacity to look for things I want and pursue them. How about trying the other way round? i.e. instead of going for what I want, can I go for what is available? What does the city offer? Do I like it? Do I want to experiment with it? The answer was a big YES! Famous for numerous start ups, the city is active with events such as dialogues with books, travel, cinema, board games, comedy nights, karaokes in various cafes or at cubbon park and with film screenings and theater performances in metro station auditoriums too! People are ready to welcome new ideas and experiment with them. Boasting of cycling enthusiasts too, I also went for one day cycling trips. The Indian Heritage Walks (IHW) helped me see the city through a different lens. Karnataka being a state blessed with forests, beaches and heritage sites, weekend getaways are pretty popular in the city and I managed to visit Hampi (a long time wish, thanks to the Malayalam movie Aanandam) and Coorg through an adventure group and Karnataka State Tourism Development Corporation (KSTDC) respectively. My next in the wish list is Jungle lodges! As Bengaluru traffic is unavoidable and since I travel by AC Volvo buses of Bengaluru Metropolitan Transport Corporation (BMTC), I decided to read a book during the commute to not only avoid the boredom but to also add variety to my creative pursuits. Known also for pub culture, I reconnected with my cousins already settled here, and together, we explored pubs, fine dine restaurants, reminisced the old days, shared laughter, played poker, watched cricket matches and had loads of fun in simple terms! From all this I realized, when you know and accept who you are and then go for what you want, what you think, say and do, come in perfect harmony. You end up loving more, giving more and caring more. Genuinely. At the risk of sounding cliched, life is indeed a balance. It is simple but we make it complicated. That reminded me of a joke shared by a psychiatrist in the TV show Satyamev Jayate - Agar 100 saal ki zindagi, 10 saal mein jeena chahoge, toh pareshan hi rahoge na? (If you aim to live a 100 year life in 10 years, wouldn't you be stressed?) Now I give percentage of importance to all that matters to me. I neither chuck out anything or compromise anywhere. Because I know I can have it all but not all at once. I remind this kindly to myself and just play with the levels of significance. I try to be flexible enough to change them when necessary. I also try to embrace negative emotions like disappointments, anger, frustration and later change the way I feel about it. Now I don't feel like running away from the past or being afraid of the future. My endeavor instead has shifted to be the first rate version of my unique present. Trust me, it's very hard to practice but it is definitely worth giving a shot. I would like to end on a funny note, keeping in mind the pub culture of the city - When life throws lemons, I order a tequila. In true Bengalurean style, Enjoy Maadi!

Picture collection 1 - (From top to bottom) Family, Cousins, Friends

Picture collection 2 - Volunteering with The Ugly Indian

Picture collection 3 - Alumni meet with storytellers (Kathalaya Academy of Storytelling)

Picture collection 4 - (From top to bottom) Know Your Indian Roots, Dialogues with Books, Tipu Sultan Palace through IHW, SPIK MACAY Classical Vocal Concert

Picture collection 5 - Mime performance with TCS colleagues (Team Mounam)

Picture collection 6 - Art & Craft Workshops

Picture collection 7 - (From top to bottom) Story reading at children's home, doodling for traffic awareness, mental health awareness session at NIMHANS through Volunteer For Cause (VFC)

Picture 8 - Trip to Yelagiri with family and cousin's family

Last but not the least - my love for plants as a gift to all my wonderful readers