#which reminds me I wanted to see the new Shazam I should look for it 🏴‍☠️

[roboromantic]

there was this local toy convention that started up in 2018 and then uh. had to cancel in 2020, said they hoped to be back in 2021, then went silent for a couple years BUT!!! I looked it up just now and TURNS OUT they'll be back in September!!! fuck yeah!!!

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hi! I saw you're doing Shazam requests and wanted to request smth with Billy Batson. Reader absent-mindedly calls him a pet name for the 1st time and how he would react to it while reader is just being casual about it after being told about what they just called him. tysm and have a nice day!

‘Mind passing me the remote babe? I wanna see if there’s anything good on so that we can watch for later tonight.’

Billy was just about to hand you the remote when he froze in place, his mind asphyxiated on the term of endearment you’ve called him just now. Maybe you had accidentally mistaken his name for babe? Sure it was a stupid thought process but surly you weren’t referring to him that way…were you? It was silly to think that such a word had him doing mental gymnastics but considering how long it took for him to find his place within the family and only having recently just accepted Rosa as his mother. Billy was still fairly new when it came to receiving love and even newer in echoing that love back.

So much so that even when faced with being called an term of endearment, Billy was practically a deer in headlights, unable to do anything due to his inexperience with the sort of thing. It didn’t make him uncomfortable per day, it just made him a loss for words in what would be deemed the appropriate response without him coming across as though he hated it; which he didn’t but then again Billy wasn’t certain how to process his emotions half of the time, so needless to say the boy was feeling a little lost within the accumulated chaos of every little thing going off within himself all at once that it was near enough impossible to make heads or tails of it.

‘Babe? You sure you didn’t mean to say Billy but just got sidetracked to babe…somehow?’ Billy cringed at how stupid he sounded as it squeaked and croaked out of sheer awkwardness but you could only see this as Billy being his adorable self. ‘No, I made no mistake in calling you babe,’ you told him blatantly, ‘but unless you find being called any sort of pet name not your thing then just say so and I’ll stop. Your comfortability shouldn’t take the backseat just because of it, you’re thoughts on certain things matter Billy and I don’t want to put you in situations that only enforce that feeling of uncomfortableness.’ You added.

‘No!’ Billy says, a little louder then normal, before making a secondary attempt in conveying how he felt. ‘I mean no, I don’t mind you calling me that, that’s not my issue, I just wanted to make sure I heard you right instead of assuming.’ He admits, ‘If anything I find it really nice, it gives me a sense of belonging, you know…with you. It gives me a sense of relief, a reminder that at the end of the day, I’m yours and that you made a home in your heart just for me.’ He chuckles, feeling a little bit self conscious, ‘how cheesy is that? To know you’ve got such a hold on me that you’ve become a home i never could’ve dream of having.’

With your heart heavy and hurting for him for everything he has endured, you reached a hand to grasp his own tightly as you could to reassure him that you were very much real, and not the figment of his vivid imagination that he believed you to be in response to his deep desire for companionship. ‘That’s not cheesy at all Billy,’ you stated, ‘in fact it’s beautiful that you think that way but if anyone should be appreciative of the other, it should be me because you have a beautiful soul Billy, one that has bared witness to many a wrongdoing against it and yet remains unchanged by it all.’

You moved to press a comforting kiss to his cheek, feeling the best of his skin against your lips. ‘Sure it’s a little hardened on the edges but, to me, that’s only made it even more beautiful and I’m just glad I get to be the one to love it unconditionally.’ Billy heaved a heavy and uneven sigh as he brushes something from the corner of his eyes with the back of his free hand, looking to you with a sense of vulnerability, ‘thank you, for loving me.’ He whispered. ‘Loving you comes as easy to me as as breathing, baby.’ You whispered back, resting your head against his shoulder.

[thevindicativevordan]

Weekly comic review ?

Nightwing #100 - A great artist showcase that Taylor manages to stay mostly out of the way of. No real narrative developments worth mentioning, the Titans shilling and obvious setup for a new Taylor written Titans ongoing just makes me roll my eyes but hey - whatever pries Taylor off of Jon I'm all in favor of.

World's Finest #11 - Solid ending to an arc that surprised me. Got thoughts to share on Magog now that it's over that I'll write up in a different post, but I will say I didn't expect him and Clark to part on such amicable terms. Of course Waid canonized the depower chamber from Superman II, should have seen that coming. Ending is definitely setting up some kind of follow up, be that in a future arc or in a spinoff mini like how Lazarus Planet is resolving the Nezha plotline.

Stargirl #3 - Continues to be great, guessing the Foster Father is Per Degaton. Eventually I'm sure Courtney will join the JSA book, only question is how many of these legacies will too.

One Bad Day: Bane - After Dark Crisis shit the bed Williamson needed this book to come out to remind me why I was on board for his Superman. It's solid and I love the twist that the "one bad day" for Bane actually ends up being the day he broke Batman. He peaked then and there, and never achieved anything as noteworthy ever again, something Bane himself recognizes and regrets. By the end he's become a quasi-Batman figure himself, taking in and mentoring a young man in an attempt to find a new purpose in life. Very much feels like an abbreviated DKR for Bane which is fitting given his status as the Evil Batman.

Lazarus Planet: Assault on Krypton -

Dreamer: Fine. Mostly just served as the story to explain what the hell is going on if you didn't bother to read Batman vs. Robin or the Alpha issue.

Jon - Wow actual chemistry between Jon and someone else! Almost forgot what that felt like after a year of utter blandness between Jon and Jay. God just break those two up already and put Jon with Ash, it would at least be amusing to see Jon dating someone who pushes back at his preaching.

Mercy - Good, I liked the flashes we get of her relationship with Lex and I approve of her becoming more like her animated Young Justice counterpart. Not quite a cyborg, more like Alex Mercer in terms of powerset.

Power Girl - Beautiful art, and Leah seems to have a good handle on Karen's voice. If she's getting telepathy I think she needs to give up one of the powers she already has in exchange. Looking forward to the backup.

The New Champion of Shazam #4 - Ending was a bit rushed but on the whole this was an enjoyable mini that left me feeling very optimistic about MAWS. I'm not thrilled that they seem to just want to have Mary go by "Shazam" too, come on surely we can come up with a better code name for her than just having her use Billy's. Especially since not only is he coming back, but his book is going by Shazam! Have Mary go by "Captain Shazam" if DC/Campbell is that opposed to a gendered name for her, it pays homage to Billy's original name and let's her be "Shazam" without literally having the same name as him.

Immortal X-Men #10 - Holy fuck I haven't been this eager for the follow-up since HoX/PoX. Gillen nails Xavier, there's no question that he is a good man, but his goodness doesn't stop him from taking actions that leave you unsettled. And that cliffhanger... looks like we're seeing the beginning of the end for resurrections.

Invincible Iron Man #2 - It's fine. I have no clue what is going on with Riri since I have never read anything with her in it, but she comes across as Tony's equal in arrogance alongside intellect.

Strange #10 - I was not familiar at all with Clea before this mini but now consider me a Clea fan. Great ending and i can't wait to see where McKay takes these two next. I've seen articles hyping up the new Strange series coming as being about Stephen as a wife guy, but brethren, it's Clea who is the husband gal. Look at that adorable psycho itching to slaughter an entire building this issue, but shows mercy because she loves her husband that much! Awwwww!

[oosteven-universe]

Teen Titans Academy #1

Teen Titans Academy #1DC Comics 2021 Written by Tim Sheridan Pencilled by Rafa Sandoval Inked by Jordi Tarragona Coloured by Alejandro Sanchez Lettered by Rob Leigh Welcome to Teen Titans Academy! Packed with both new, super-powered teens and numerous dark secrets, Teen Titans Academy’s student body includes Shazam; a new Australian speedster; a trio of Goth(am) teen expatriates obsessed with Batman-and one member of this first class will become the deadly Red X. Original New Teen Titans including Nightwing, Starfire, Raven, Cyborg, and Beast Boy take on the role of teachers and mentors for superpowered teens. Their goal: to shape the next generation of heroes. First thing about this that i noticed, after comparing to Avengers Academy, is the new and improved Starfire.  Headmistress, not at all flighty and has her act together in a way that I personally have longed to see ever since her debut in the 80’s.  It is a refreshing change of pace and honestly I do wish that Garth, Lilith, Karen and Mal were also faculty here and that they would play on the first black superheroes in comics here as well.  The Original Teen Titans had such a diverse cast of characters with Hawk & Dove, Flamebird, Harlequin (Duela Dent), Golden Eagle, Tula and Gnaark so I sincerely hope that in this new reality we’ll see them all make guest appearances and take the kids on field trips.  I mean the possibilities are infinite.   I love the way that this is being told.  The story & plot development that we see through how the sequence of events unfold as well as how the reader learns information is laid down exceptionally well.  From the opening to seeing and meeting the inaugural class to learning about how the current team fits into the grand scheme of things what we see is a well thought out and executed sequence of events.  I will also say don’t knock the old villains, Clock King may ot be as scary but then neither was Dr. Light when the Titans went up against him.  The character development that we see is extremely nice to see as well.  The dialogue is fantastic and as we get to know bits and pieces about the kids it leaves us wanting to know more.  The pacing is superb and as it takes us through the pages revealing the characters and the story it manages to bring us full circle. The interiors here are fantastic.  Sure what we see is classic comic book style stuff and at times it can be interchangeably generic but given time this team will tighten that up and we’ll see Donna as Donna, which on page 13 she’s not immediately recognisable.  I will say that I am pretty impressed with the fact that the pencils and inks look like the work of one person and that’s saying something about the skill and talent that we see.  I would like to see backgrounds be utilised more, if one person is doing the pencils and another the inks there is no reason to flesh out the Titans Tower and really give us a sense of what this place is and what it means to be there.  The utilisation of the page layouts and how we see the angles and perspective in the panels show a solid eye for storytelling.  The colour work is fantastic!  How we see the various hues and tones within the colours being utilised to create the shading, highlights and shadow work is exceptional stuff.   ​ That it’s Dick Grayson, who regardless of what anyone thinks, who is in charge should come as no surprise and if there are going to be teachers at an Academy.  After all teenage sidekicks who are all grown up, who would know how the kids feel better than they do.  Though it does remind me of Mr. Jupiter in a way and that I can be reminded of the past as the future is a wide open place it gives me hope that the Titans can rise once more and become something great again.  DC definitely got this one right and with the creators as well.

[tessatechaitea]

Justice League #1 (1987)

This is actually a more impressive line-up than I remember.

I'm pretty sure this line-up is a huge scam. I don't remember Doctor Fate interacting too much with this group and I think Shazam bows out fairly quickly. Batman probably does that thing where he acts like he's leader (even if Martian Manhunter actually is) and only helps out every sixth mission. So at that point, the line-up is already decreasing in strength and intimidation factor quickly. Adding Fire, Ice, and Booster Gold later won't really improve the team much. But I'm getting ahead of myself. My impressions from this initial cover were "Wow! Pretty interesting team!" and "What asshole fucking decided on the shit stencil font for the title?" Sorry, I cuss a lot when I'm writing on the Internet and trying to seem like a bad-ass. The issue begins with Guy Gardner calling the other Green Lanterns jerks and suggesting, to himself, that he should be the Commander-in-Chief of the new Justice League. Some people would read this first page and think, "What an arrogant fucking asshole." But my stomach got all queasy and I giggled a little bit and I muttered quietly under my breath, "I love him."

I'm not saying it isn't composed of some truly ridiculous aspects but Guy still has the best costume in the DC Universe.

I don't love everything about Guy Gardner because most writers at the time didn't truly understand him. They made him a jerk that nobody would like because they were too cold-hearted to see the brain damaged cool guy that he really was. Guy Gardner often needed to be written by somebody who loved the character; it would have done him a world of good. He could still have been that abrasive jerk. But written deftly, those who actually cared to take the time would see his true self. Sure, that would also be an abrasive jerk! But a little bit more likable!

Stallone was pretty sensitive in a few scenes in Rocky IV!

Black Canary is second to arrive, after which Mister Miracle and Oberon show up. I never quite understood how Oberon fit into the Justice League. Wasn't he like an agent or a manager? Did Batman and Martian Manhunter need Oberon to sign off on every mission or else Scott Free would have to remain behind? I bet he was included just so Giffen and DeMatteis could make dwarf jokes.

Why would Guy choose Sneezy?! Oberon's breathing has been impeccable since he arrived!

Normally after some kind of cynical prediction about the comic book that immediately is proved true, I'd write, "Grandmaster Comic Book Reader!" But it doesn't feel right to say it in this case. I mean, Oberon is present for four panels before he becomes the butt of a joke based on his diminutive nature. And by Guy Gardner, no less! Is this why I loved him so much at sixteen?! What a terrible and typical sixteen year old white heterosexual male I was! Black Canary (whose costume I'm just now noticing is really fucking weird) responds to Guy's awful behavior by saying, "Dozens of GLs around and we get 'Rambo' with a ring!" That's unfair to Rambo! I'm also unsure who in this story (including the writers of this story) have actually seen First Blood. Gardner is more like the authority mad Sheriff Teasle than the sensitive green beret John Rambo! Rambo should be admired as a hero, battling back against corrupt cops who think they have the right to use as much force as they want for any stupid fucking reason! It's possible they were talking about the Rambo from the second film who gets to kill more than one person because the people he's killing are Russians and Vietnamese. He does get a bit murder crazy in the second film. Or maybe they're talking about Rambo from the third film which wasn't actually out yet so I don't have to read up on it. Next to arrive are Captain Marvel, Blue Beetle, and Martian Manhunter. Martian Manhunter proves to be a buzzkill, reminding everybody how the old series ended in total death and disaster.

His view of the media is pretty spot on though.

J'onn calls up the files of Steel, Gypsy, Vixen, and Vibe before purging them completely from the Justice League computer. That's probably a good idea, like deleting old joke tweets on Twitter that were a bit racist and also boring. Meanwhile Maxwell Lord IV watches from a distance, doing that Ozymandias thing where you watch dozens of televisions at once. I think it proves you're a genius whose done the research and contemplated all sides of an issue before making up your totally rational and logical mind about any issue. As opposed to us losers who simply use compassion and empathy to almost immediately understand the correct and most ethical path to take. Maxwell Lord IV watches all of this television and decides the correct course to take is to leave the "America" off of the Justice League of America this time. Oh, and also the "of".

Maybe this is why I liked Guy so much: because he knew the saying was "you've got another think coming." Look, I'm going to be desperately finding good reasons to have liked Guy Gardner so much when Giffen and DeMatteis are this determined to make him a huge and unlikable jerk.

Look, I was sixteen! Hardly the best time in a young man's life for qualities like compassion and empathy and fashion sense and hair styles! I'm also fairly certain it wasn't this comic book that made me like him so much. I'm pretty sure he gets knocked out by Batman with one punch before the year is over and I remember loving that scene. So I probably despised him like a good reader of Justice League was supposed to do. Hopefully he'll have some character moments during this series that will show why I wound up liking him so much as a character. Right now, he's just a complete and utter asshole. The five panels following the one I just scanned consist of Guy once again calling Oberon "Sneezy" and then suggesting Black Canary is going to want to fuck him soon enough. Martian Manhunter tries to break it up and just winds up part of the chaos.

Okay, I'm starting to get why I might have liked him at sixteen, even after the first few pages. To a sixteen year old white male, mocking Martian Manhunter with a "Ho-ho-ho" trumps ableism, sexism, and, with this attack on J'onn for his inherent physical Martianness, almost certainly racism as well.

Guy continues to play the role of Squeaky Wheel for another page or two. I suppose if you want more on-panel time than the other heroes, you've got to be a raging asshole. I can't say I'm not entertained by it!

Captain Marvel earns a little of my love with this line as well. No shame in drinking warm milk at night!

This is only nine pages into the first issue and Guy has completely derailed the formation of the new Justice League. Was this blasphemy to previous fans of the Justice League where the team may have had some minor squabbles about various things and Batman would quit every six issues but mostly they didn't break out into brawls whenever they got together? Or were internal struggles and arguments a regular plot point? I have no idea because the only Justice League comics I read previous to this title were the terrible months where everything was breaking down and then Steel betrayed them and Vibe was killed off and Martian Manhunter felt like a huge failure. Although was Aquaman leading the team at the time? I dislike Aquaman so much, I'm just going to believe he was leading the team and that's why everything completely fell apart. He sucks. Once per day, I think about that lousy meme trying to prove Aquaman wasn't useless by using the image from New 52 Justice League where he controls a bunch of great whites to breach and kill a bunch of parademons and I hate everybody who actually thought that was a cool moment. Batman and Doctor Fate arrive in the middle of the Justice League brawl (which even Martian Manhunter, the only adult in the room, is taken part in) and shuts shit down The Batman way.

I guess heroes are also a cowardly lot.

Meanwhile, Doctor Light winds up being held hostage with the rest of the United Nations by some white terrorists. I felt I needed to say they were white because a lot of racist assholes can only envision terrorists one way. Also, I should always describe people as white when they're white since I don't want to be an accomplice to maintaining a world where we assume a person mentioned is white, male, and heterosexual unless they're described more fully. Doctor Light was given a Justice League emergency beeper by a mysterious figure some time previously. This isn't revealed but I just read Justice League Spectacular #1 so I know Maxwell Lord gave her the device so that she could alert the Justice League when the United Nations was taken hostage by terrorists that Maxwell Lord IV paid. It's all about getting some early press! There's an advert for the new Flash which I'm surprised I didn't pick up since the advert shows him having some kind of accident in a sperm bank.

Ew Flash is right!

The Justice League head over to stop the terrorist attack. At some point, Doctor Fate disappears to go do something else and I think he never comes back? Is that why I barely remember him as a part of this league? Was he just there to look cool on the cover and fool all the lovers of DC magic users? The League storms the UN, murdering several terrorists.

Look. Manhunter either phased their heads into the solid ceiling or he smashed their skulls straight through the roof. Either way, I don't see a high percentage chance of their survival.

The Justice League capture all the terrorists and then Batman has the building evacuated, leaving just the leader of the terrorists alone in the United Nations building threatening to kill himself so that the bomb attached to his heart would detonate and kill them all. He does kill himself but the bomb doesn't detonate. And the thing is, Batman realized during the mission that the bomb was almost certainly a bluff. So he left the man alone to kill himself. Later we discover the man had a history of mental illness. So this, to Batman, is justice? Batman almost certainly realized the man was being manipulated and that he'd definitely kill himself to blow the bomb and Batman let the man do it. Batman is a fucking monster. After the event, the media points out that the terrorists were mostly composed of 60s radical groups like the Weathermen and the Black Panthers. Which is odd because there wasn't one black terrorist in the bunch. The issue ends with Max Lord talking to himself and admitting to being the one who staged the terrorist attack. He also knew the leader was unstable enough to kill himself for the cause and he sent him in with a bomb that definitely wouldn't blow. So he's a fucking monster as well. And Martian Manhunter is a monster, not because he's a weirdo martian, but because he basically popped the heads on a few of the terrorists. No way will I believe those guys hanging from the ceiling by their necks survived! All in all, Guy Gardner is starting to look like a rational member of this group! Justice League #1 Rating: B+. A better than average start to the new Justice League, building some intrigue and conflict right from the start. Who is Max Lord? What are his plans for the Justice League? Why is he acting like it's his group? Will Doctor Fate ever return? Will Oberon poison Guy Gardner? Will Black Canary and Doctor Light become best friends because they're the only women in the League? Will Guy Gardner and Batman ever come to blows? I can answer that! They will not! They'll just come to blow. One punch by Batman. And that one punch causes some severe psychological trauma to Gardner and nobody thinks he should get medical help simply because he starts acting nicer. They're all fucking monsters!

[the-desolated-quill]

The Quill Seal Of Approval Awards - The Best Of 2019

Hey guys! I’m still alive!

Sorry for my two month absence. Things have been pretty difficult at home lately. I’ve been having a really hard time at university lately, my mental health has suffered as a result, and oh yeah, there’s a worldwide pandemic going on and we’re all probably going to die!

So thanks to this Coronavirus, my uni has been shut down, which means I now suddenly have a lot more free time. So I thought I’d take this opportunity to catch up on things I’ve missed. Yes it’s once again time to hand out the most coveted and prestigious of awards that every writer, producer and director so desperately craves (or at least they would if they actually knew this existed). The Quill Seal Of Approval Awards. Where I list the very best the creative industry had to offer over the course of 2019. (yes I know it’s now March 2020, but if Jon Campea can release a best of 2019 list in February, then I should be able to get away with it). For there is no greater honour on this planet than to have your work of creative artistry praised and acknowledged on an obscure blog by an anonymous snob. That’s the dream, isn’t it?

First a couple of parish notices. Obviously due to various other commitments, I haven’t had the chance to experience everything 2019 had to offer, so this list will be limited to the media and literature I personally got to experience. So sorry that HBO’s Watchmen TV series won’t be on this list. I know everyone loves it, but I’ve only seen one episode so far (and will be posting a review on that soon) as I’ve only just gotten around to watching it. Also bear in mind this is my subjective opinion. If you disagree with my choices, that’s fine. Go write your own list. I won’t be upset. You have every right to like what you like.

...

But if you disagree with me, then you’re a philistine and a poopyhead. That’s not my opinion. That’s a scientific fact that’s been proven in a lab by grown-ups. Sorry. The truth hurts, I know.

Shazam!

Do you remember the days when superhero films used to be fun? When they weren’t some heavily militarised, dark and angsty loners with all the charm and charisma of a pub toilet at closing time? If you do, then you’re going to love Shazam. A funny and moving film about a kid that can transform himself into a Godlike chosen one figure through space magic.

Joking aside, Shazam is an exceptionally good movie with a strong cast, great writing and a very personal and intimate story about self worth and finding your place in the world. For those who have grown sick of these soulless, big budget, CGI heavy superhero flicks with world ending conflicts that end up meaning nothing in the grand scheme of things, Shazam serves as the perfect antidote.

John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum

I’m very much late to the party when it comes to John Wick. I’ve never exactly had the highest opinion of Keanu Reeves as a credible action star and I’ve always found the Matrix movies to be overrated trash with delusions of grandeur, but after constant nagging from my friend @dicapitoe​ I eventually gave in and watched the first one. I loved it so much, I watched the second one immediately afterwards, and then the following day I went to see Chapter 3 in the cinema. Now I think it’s safe to assume I’m a fan.

I actually don’t want to say too much because I want to do in-depth reviews of these films at some point, but needless to say, John Wick: Chapter 3 earns its place on this list. Hell, the whole franchise deserves a Quill Seal Of Approval Award. John Wick is a masterclass in visual storytelling and worldbuilding, and Chapter 3 continues this exciting and dramatic narrative with great confidence and skill. Oh and Keanu Reeves, I take back every snide comment I’ve ever said. You sir, are a national treasure. Can’t wait for more :D

Joker

No! No! Stop! You, yes, you, the one who’s about to comment saying how wrong I am and that Joker is a derivative, dangerous movie. May I remind you once again that this is my list. It’s fine if you don’t agree. In fact I can understand completely why some people really don’t like this film. That being said, I very much enjoyed it and I feel it represents a unique achievement for the comic book movie genre. As superhero movies from The Dark Knight to Captain America: The Winter Soldier to Black Panther have been slowly and steadily proving that these films can not only be socially relevant, but can also be considered high art, Joker represents the genre’s apotheosis. It’s a smart and sharply written film that doesn’t shy away from exploring its themes of mental health, social neglect and narcissism, and it demonstrates the reason why characters like Batman and the Joker have been a staple of popular culture for so long. Even after all this time, we’re still finding new ways of reinterpreting them and exploring them. Combined with Hildur Guonadottir’s amazing score and a career defining performance from Joaquin Phoenix, Joker is truly a force to be reckoned with, much like the title character himself.

Elementary - Season 7

CBS’ brilliant adaptation of Sherlock Holmes sadly came to an end in 2019, but not before one last excellent season.

Elementary has always stood head and shoulders above its BBC counterpart in terms of quality, but personally I always felt that the show never managed to live up to the heights of its very first season with Moriarty. While Moriarty ultimately doesn’t return sadly, we get a great substitute in the form of Odin Reichenbach, a tech mogul who uses social media for his own ends in his misguided pursuit of justice. He serves as a great source of moral conflict for Sherlock and Joan, who have been known to use morally questionable tactics themselves, and is a compelling antagonist. Under showrunner Rob Doherty’s expert direction, Elementary ends on a high as we see the stories of Holmes, Watson, Gregson and Bell conclude in an emotional and satisfying finale. It’s sad to see a great show like this end, but it felt like the right time to stop and I’m glad the Elementary team kept their high standards throughout and were allowed to finish the show properly on their own terms. You will be greatly missed.

The Outer Worlds

Have you heard the news? Single player video games are dead! Nobody wants RPGs anymore apparently! It’s all about ‘live services’ and multiplayer looter shooters. Nobody wants a story driven, single player RPG these days.

Wait! What’s this? A story driven, single player RPG?! And people actually like it?!?! OMG!

Yes, from the people that brought you Fallout: New Vegas comes a new IP that makes a mockery of the AAA industry and their greedy trend chasing. Introducing The Outer Worlds. Set in the Halcyon Colony in the far future where rampant capitalism has taken over and disrupted society, you play as a colonist that’s been recently released from cryogenic suspension and has been tasked with saving the colony from the Board who are hellbent on taking away humanity’s civil liberties and destroying lives all for the sake of profit. The lore and setting is beautifully realised and the writing contains the same wit and satirical charm as Fallout. It also boasts a wonderfully diverse cast of characters, including a very unorthodox vicar and an openly asexual companion. Add to that some super smooth first person shooter combat and a great amount of freedom in customisation and roleplaying, The Outer Worlds proves definitively that single player isn’t dead. Take note Bethesda.

And there we have it. 2019 is finally over and done with. Now we can finally look forward to 2020. Assuming we’re all still alive by the end of the year :S

[punchyline]

Catfight || Discord

Summary: Punchline crashes the party and a fight ensues. Trigger Warnings: Abuse mentions, violence, death, blood, Joker Written By: @harleenqueenzel, @antidyingantihero, @ofpowerfulmortal, @poisoned-kisses

Harley: Harley pressed a kiss to her adopted son's cheek, and scratched Bruce behind the ear. She felt eyes on her, turning her head to see a woman wearing clown makeup. Oh great. "Hey, Mike..." she said, looking away. "Is that clown still watching me?" she asked, feeling anxious.

Mike: Mike's smile turned genuine. Harley always made him feel better. He glanced behind her, looking at the clown. "Kind of. Who is she." he said as he looked back at the bar. "You want me to get her out of here?"

Harley: Harley let out a soft sigh. "I have no idea. But she looks like she works fer my ex," she commented, turning to look at the woman again. Her presence was making her uncomfortable. And if Pam saw her, she'd probably end up strangling her. "I'm not sure. Do I give her a chance first, or d'ya think I should go straight ta the throwin' her out?"

Punchline: "William." She mused, scrunching up her nose and giving him a cheeky smile. "I like that. I think that's what I'll call you." She decided and he wasn't about to change her mind. She liked the sound of it, the way it shaped on her tongue. She had another sip of her drink. She may be playing with him, but she was loyal to the Clown Prince of Gotham.

Mike straightened up. "Joker? If you didn't invite her get her the hell out of here. I  can do it if you want Ma'" he answered. No one was going to make her uncomfortable.

Harley: Harley bit down on her lower lip, nodding as she ran her fingers through Bruce's fur. She didn't want Mike to get hurt -- not that he could, really. "Could ya go an' ask her what her business here is or somethin' like that? If she starts bein' aggressive, I'll come over an' help. I've got a gun concealed beneath this dress," she shrugged.

Mike: "Of course." he said standing up and kissing Harley's head. He went over to the woman, not carrying about interrupting her conversation. "What's your business here?"  he asked serious. "Because I know you weren't invited."

Billy: Billy crinkled his nose, he was not used to having someone calling him by William. He felt as if he was in trouble when people did it and remind him too much about his mom, which hurt him. Even if he was extremely young when she left him at the park, he still remembered that she called him by his full name all the time, "I don't have a choice, do I?"

Punchline: "It's cute. You don't like it?" She asked Billy. She glanced Harley's way just then, catching the kiss. Half of Gotham hated her... but the other half. It praised her for leaving him. Idolized her for it. "I heard it was open for all." Punchline replied, taking a few steps from Billy towards the boy. "Did Pumpkin over there ask you to talk to me?" She said, glancing over towards Harley with an icy stare. "I'm here to paint eggs."

Harley: Harley watched as Mike approached the woman, and she heard her say 'pumpkin'. Her stomach churned and she started to walk towards Punchline, Bruce next to her, watching her closely. He'd attack if he had to. She stayed a few steps away, but was close enough to help Mike if he needed her.

Mike: "Well that was a misprint, you see it's open to everyone who don't work for a that piece of shit clown" he answered back. "I don't care what you came to do. The only thing you're going to do now is leave, and I'd rather not make a scene but I will."

Billy: Billy knew from the start that going to a villain part was a bad idea, now he was more sure, he didn't know what to do, he wasn't turned into Shazam, he had no powers, "Okay, now, let's not fight, we don't want things to end badly," he knew if they fought, more than one person could get hurt.

Punchline: Punchline eyed Harley as she came a little closer. This was who she was here for. Not her odd little bodyguard, not William. she was here for Harley Quinn. She wanted to see her. To know what she was dealing with. "I don't work for him." She corrected. She sort of did but she wanted to make it feel more intimate. More special. "We're partners." She took out her knife from her boot pocket and in one swift, cruel movement sliced open Mike's neck. Feeling the blood splatter on her face before she turned to Harley and Billy. "Oops... my bad."

Harley: Harley ran forward as soon as the woman pulled out a knife, but she was too late. She grabbed the woman by her ponytail, slamming her head against the top of the bar a couple of times. "Get the fuck outta my mansion," she hissed into her ear. She knew that Mike would wake up soon, but that didn't mean this bitch could come into her home and pull an attempted murder. "Don't make me pull out my gun, honey. I won't miss if I do."

Punchline: Punchline felt the woman tug her by her hair and smash her head against the table, not fighting against it. When she was done, she let out a small chuckle. Glancing up at her face from where she was holding her. "You liked him, didn't you? The little brat?" She whispered back. "Shoot me, dollface. I'm sure Pudding would just love that." She replied with a hiss before using her leg to kick Harley off of her. Immediately jumping on her so she could pin her to the floor. Pulling her face in close to the other woman's. "That's what you called him, wasn't it?" She said, ignoring the shouting all around her. All that mattered was Harley.

Harley: Harley slammed her head against the table again when the other asked about Mike. "Who I do an' don't like doesn't concern ya, toots. But I can tell ya one thing... I definitely don't like you." The use of the nickname she had for Joker caught her off-guard, and suddenly she was being kicked backwards. Her body pushed forward as the woman pinned her to the floor, and she headbutted her in the nose. "Yeah, 'cause that's what he was. My Puddin'. Jealousy is an ugly colour on you, sweetie!" she yelled, using all of her slightly enhanced strength to flip them over, now on top of Joker's new toy, her fingers wrapped tightly around her wrists as she pinned her down. "Tell me what ya want. Is it me? 'Cause I ain't goin' anywhere with you."

Punchline: Punchline's teeth grind together and her eyes bore into the other woman's. Anger clear on her face. She reached down to grab at Harley's neck and choke her when she felt the woman smash her head into her nose and she gasped. Blood dripping from her nose onto her snow white skin. She was as pale as he was and they'd never have that intimate connection because Harley blew up the Chemical Plant. "Say that again and I'll rip your tongue from your mouth." She snarled before Harley managed to get her down on the ground with her now straddling Punchline. "Oh... honey... I just wanted to meet you." She said before rearing up herself and smashing her own head against Harley's.

Harley: Harley could feel the woman's blood dripping onto her. It was disgusting, and she wanted to throw herself into a bath filled with sanitizer. "Rip my tongue from my mouth? Nice threat, Hannah Montana. I was with him fer years, d'ya really think a lil' threat like that is gonna scare me?" she growled. She stared down at the other, her grip on her growing tighter as she didn't get the answer she wanted. Before she could say anything in response, she was being headbutted. Their fighting styles were too similar. Had Joker trained her to fight like this? Her lip throbbed, and she felt blood dripping down her chin. "You fuckin' psycho," she screamed, letting go of one of her wrists to grab her gun from beneath her dress. "I'm gonna paint these walls with yer brains. It'll be the most beautiful thing anyone's ever seen," she warned. "I'll make sure ta invite Mistah J ta look at my new work of art. He loves it when I go feral."

Punchline: Punchline let out a deep chuckle and struggled to break free of the blonde's grip. "Hannah Montana? You're the one with the awful blonde weave." She retorted. She smacked their heads together and when she pulled back down, Harley was pulling for a gun and her wrist was freed. She could have easily grabbed a knife. She had two after all but... it was more fun to do something else. She grabbed a hold of the other's neck and forced her face closer to her own. Reaching her head back up and with her teeth biting down into her shoulder. "How's that for feral?" She spit out the blood to the side of them before moving her legs to wrap around Harley's waist and keep her still on top of her. "Go ahead, shoot me. Impress him. That is why you're doing this right. Because that's what you just said... and here I thought you were over him. My Prince."

Harley: Harley was ready to kill her. "Awful blonde weave? At least I ain't tryin' ta channel Ariana Grande with that high ponytail. Or is it just a cheap facelift?" she asked, a smirk on her face. Feeling a hand on her throat, she tried to stay as calm as possible. This was fine, she was into it. But when this stranger was doing it... It was a little scary. Her other hand reached up, grabbing the other woman's and trying to prize it away from her neck. A hiss left her lips as teeth sunk into her shoulder, and she pressed the barrel of the gun against the other's forehead. "Ya need ta keep those teeth where I can see 'em, Hannibal." As she listened to the other speak, she shook her head, feeling herself start to panic. It had taken her years to get to where she was today -- happily married, adopted kids... "He ain't yer nothin'. You think you mean somethin' ta a guy like him? Yer nothin' but a toy that he can mess with. That's why yer here now, right? He pitted you against me. Pathetic," she spat, lowering her gun and pressing a hand to the bleeding bite mark on her shoulder. "An' if ya ever bite me again, I'll pull yer fuckin' teeth out with pliers," she threatened, before sinking her own into the woman's arm. If she was going to have a scar on her shoulder, the other woman was getting one too. Fair was fair. She didn't stop, not until she was satisfied that she was causing pain. Pulling back, she grinned.

Punchline: She felt herself smile when Harley held the barrel of the gun pressed against her forehead. Tilting her head slightly back, Harley's blood bloomed at the edges of her lips and slowly dripped their way down her cheeks, like it was drawing a smile on the woman's face. She let out another chuckle at Harley's words and watched as she reacted to what she said. "You know... you kinda taste like he does." She commented, her voice low and her eyes wide. She was trying to make her jealous. Sure... Harley had been there for much longer then she had but she was his new thing now. She was there for him when Harley wasn't. She didn't run away, she took it. The bad, the good, the really ugly. Because she loved him. Harley didn't. Harley didn't know what that felt like and yet Joker never shut up about her. She was the one there everyday by his side and she kept having to hear him yammer on about how she used to call him Puddin'. How she used to smile better. Fuck that, she'd be smiling no longer. Not when Punchline had her way. "He loves me!" Punchline screamed at her when she tried to tell her that he didn't. "I'm no toy! I'm his right hand woman. He respects me. He cares for me. He didn't care for you!" She lied with a growl. Then Harley moved down and bit her back and she used her one free hand to grab at the back of her neck, at her baby hairs. Trying to force her off. When she finally was, Punchline glared ad her and used the way her legs were positioned as a way to force Harley down to the side. She then rolled them so she was on top and got up to her feet placing her foot on Harley's chest to keep her there.

Harley: Harley felt repulsed when she said that she tasted like Joker. They were nothing alike. Not anymore, at least. "Look, I'm inta some kinky stuff myself.... but that? That's just fucked up." She stared into the woman's eyes, seeing nothing but anger. Her own eyes used to be like that whenever she looked in a mirror. It was what being with a man like him did to you -- it gave you a hunger for violence and pain that you could never satiate. Eventually, his new plaything would see the light. After years of pain and abuse, mental torture. Harley didn't want that for her, even if she hated her right now and wanted to kill her. She was a puppet, just like she had been. But there was no way to make her see that. Being under his spell lasted for years. "He loves ya? Are ya sure about that? Does he love ya when he's leavin' bruises? Does he love ya when he's sendin' you out ta get hurt so he doesn't," she said, her voice low and angry. It was making her remember things she'd rather forget. This was supposed to be a fun night with her family and friends, and now it was a nightmare. "He doesn't care fer anybody!" she screamed back. "Nobody but himself!" The pain of the woman pulling her hair didn't really bother her. She'd been through so much worse, so she didn't even flinch. Once again, she was being put on her back, and she choked out a breath as the other put a foot on her chest. Reaching up, she dug her nails into her leg. "Did he teach ya this? Make yer victim feel small?" she asked, laughing as she lay there, looking up at the stranger. "Do ya feel powerful now? Like yer in charge? 'Cause you'll never be in charge of me. I'm in charge of me. Now get yer foot off me, an' go back ta kissin' his. This is yer last chance."

Punchline: Punchline: She hated her. Everything she said, she hated it. He didn't love her? Then how did she explain the good moments? Those days then he was good to her. When they'd dance together for no good reason. To no music. He'd say he just felt like dancing with her, when she asked him. How did Harley explain the times when they were alone and he'd actually let her kiss him? She felt Joker's love. She wasn't delusional or stupid. She knew it was there and the angry outbursts. That meant nothing. "Yes, he loves me then, too." She argued. Harley was screaming at her and Punchline just glared at her, watching her with a stone-cold face. She held the woman down and slowly pushed her weight against her leaning down to get a bit closer to Harley. "Maybe he did." She said. "He taught you it too, didn't he?" She said, her voice getting quieter. "I'm leaving, and not because you told me to. I could end you right now if I want." she said, taking the knife from her other boot and gesturing it towards her. "But I'd like to do it in front of him." She decided. "So he knows you're gone." She gave her one last kick before removing her foot from the other. Just noticing now the wave of dizziness in her head. She shook it, trying to get it back to normal. Taking a few steps away from her.

Pamela: Pamela had just walked into the ballroom as a woman, covered in blood, kicked Harley as she stood above her. She had been out and told Harley that she would be late to their party. She hadn't told her that she had began the process of creating more children. She would need a bette lab for that. Pamela quickly glanced around the room, noticing the blood all over their new ballroom. The shock of the scene wore off and rage bubbled up in her chest instead. The woman was thankful for the vines that grew on the outside of the house, because now she willed them to burst in through the windows. "Get the fuck away from my wife, you sad excuse for a clown! Who the fuck do you think you are? Did that bastard clown send you?" She screamed as she power-walked towards the woman, arms raised. Pamela didn't wait for an answer and she willed the vines to wrap the woman up tightly, squeezing her enough to hurt. She ran over to Harley and dropped to her knees. "Oh darling, flower, are you  alright?" she asked, panicked now, searching Harley for lie-threatening wounds.

Punchline: When the green woman burst in, Punchline frowned. She was on her way out but now she had to deal with the woman that Harley married. She didn't intend to fight Harley at all during this party. She just wanted to watch her, but ah, well. When in Rome.  The vines shot from the windows and came right towards her. She could get out of this but Poison Ivy would just wrap her up with what remains of the vines she would cut. Oh- She was rushing over to Harley now thinking that she had detained the problem. Focused on her wife. Her love. Oh, how week it was. Knife in hand she poked it through the vines. (They were pretty tough due to Spring but not actually that bad). Ignoring the pain from the squeezing in one jerk of a movement she sliced all the way through the plants and was able to release herself. Jumping down nimbly before quickly using the chance to leap out the broken window and out of the party. Hows that for an exit?

[emisonme]

Lauren's path..........

I'm not even sure, where to begin. People are banging their heads against the wall, trying to figure out, what the hell is going on, with Lauren and her career.

Again, the first thing you need to understand, is Lauren is still with Syco. If Simco Ltd. owns the copyright to her solo music, she is still under contract with them, period!

It's pretty clear, the initial rumors that Camila and Lauren had solo options in their contracts, were correct. It's also clear, Syco picked up those solo options, as they are the only two still connected to Syco. Syco didn't have solo options on the other girls, but Sony still had control over their recording contracts. After the hiatus, with the exception of Ally, they split the other girls between the Sony Labels.

Camila stayed with Syco/Epic. Lauren is with Syco/Columbia. Normani went to a RCA imprint, with distribution through RCA. Dinah went to LA Reid's new label, that is still connected to Sony. Sony cut Ally loose, and she signed with Atlantic, which is a WMG label.

OK, now, we got the "rumor" that Lauren was signing with Columbia, back in January of last year. A year ago. If they were spreading the "rumor", then the deal was pretty much done. So, she has been a Columbia artist, for at least a year now.

Lauren has said, she didn't start writing her own MUSIC, until the beginning of 2018. It appeared, she was contradicting herself, when she stated she wrote MTT 2/3 years ago, a long ass time ago, and before she started "dating" Ty. I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt, and say, she wasn't necessarily lying or contradicting herself.

We all know, Lauren has been writing poetry, and song lyrics, for years. Even before X-Factor. But, lyrics are not the only aspect of a song. Those lyrics have to be set to music, to make a song. I can believe her, when she said she didn't start writing or composing music to go with her poetry/lyrics, until last year, because I think that's what she actually meant...If not, it's just another bullshit lie, among many.

Moving on. In June, they had her opening for Halsey's SA tour, where she performed three of her new solo songs, Expectations, Toy, and Inside. The fans started demanding the studio version of Expectation, so in October, we got it, with a video. Columbia never sent it to radio. It was a promotional single.

In November, she performed two new songs, at the MTV vote after party. They were More Than That and Freedom. The fans asked for MTT to be her next single, and a few days ago, that's what they got. The video will be released Friday. Columbia hasn't set a radio impact date, as of yet. Maybe they are waiting to see what the video will do.

I, too, will wait for the video, to do any kind of analysis of MTT. I will say, the production was subpar. Whoever did the sound mixing, done Lauren a definite disservice.

Lauren said, she is still trying to figure out her sound. That translates to, the Label is still trying to figure out how to market her and her music. It is the Labels responsibility to market the artist and promote their music. The label will monitor the internet, and collect the data, to find out what a particular artists demographic is, and they will cater the artist, to that demographic.

The artist will compile a big song library, for each album. Usually for the first solo album, they will have around 30/40 songs in the can, ready to choose from. The artist and their manager, will work with the label A&R, to choose the best songs for the album, based on the data collected. Columbia had multiple chances to collect that data. BTM, AN, Strangers, IYP, Expectations, Toy, Inside, MTT, and Freedom. They were all used for data mining. The Label A&R will use that data, to guide the artist in the direction to best connect to the public in her demographic.

Once they figure out Lauren's marketing strategy, it is up to the label to promote the music, to the GP. Thy choose the official singles. They choose when and if a single gets sent to radio. If it doesn't get sent to radio, it gets labeled a promo single, and it's up to the artist and their fans, to push it.

Radio looks to Shazam, and the amount of streams a promo single gets, to decide if they want to dedicate air time to it, or not. The more Shazam streams, the better chance it gets ait time. That's why people are always reminding the fans to stream on Shazam, as well as Spotify, YouTube, and other streaming sites.

It's also, usually, up to the label, to get a single put on popular playlists, and which, if any, television appearances for the single.

It's up to the artists management, to promote the artist. They do this, in conjunction with the label. It is the managements job, to create and control the artists/brands public image. They manage how the public sees the artist, when the public sees the artist, and where the public sees the artist.

The PR Teams and Talent Agents, work in conjunction with the management, to get the artist out there, to get attention from the media and therefore, the public.

It is the artist themselves, that has the most important role in their own career. The Label can market the artist, the management can get them attention, but it is completely up to the artist, to make a connection to fans and potential fans. If an artist isn't making a connection to the public, then the rest of it doesn't even matter.

Lauren is more than capable of making that connection. The problem is, her image is turning people off, and I'm not just talking about fans, but also potential endorsements. Her public image, right now, is not a good one, and she knows it.  Unfortunately, her damn managers would rather promote Ty and a dog, more than Lauren.

Don't get me wrong, Gracie is cute and Lauren's interaction with her, is adorable. I know they made sure she, and her dog, got nominated for one of the most ridiculous awards ever, but I'd much rather Lauren be promoted and recognized for her talent, than her cute little pet.

Columbia needs to get her a presenter spot at the Grammy's, so she can walk the carpet, and be seen on prime time television. They need to get her a performance spot on the iHeart music awards. Those air on March 19. Hopefully Columbia is ready to release an official single, and she can perform it there, like Camila did.

Honestly, her next single needs to be about something personal. Something inspirational. It doesn't have to be a slow ass ballad, but it needs to be about something that makes folks want to get to know Lauren. Expectations would have been a good choice...IF they hadn't turned everyone off to it, by saying she wrote the damn thing about Ty not being there to cuddle when she wanted him to. (that was literally one of the dumbest explanations for a song, I had ever heard)

I really don't think MTT is that song, either. The subject matter has turned even her own fans off. (I have my own theory about the song, but I'm waiting for the video to see if I'm even close to right) The problem with MTT, is the subject matter automatically takes people's minds to her "cheating" with Ty. Even though she has said, she wrote it before she even started "dating" him. The lyrics just took people there, and that was a turn off, for many. Her next single needs to be something that represents her. Not her fucking "boyfriend", not her fucking dog, but her.

She has plenty of music ready to go, so they really need to get her out there, performing at some of these Festivals. They may not all know who she is at those things, but that's the point, to get her out there, seen and heard.

She really needs to do some of the more popular radio shows, like Zane Lowe. She did good on Zack Sang, but Zane is a pretty good interviewer. He doesn't throw softball questions, so she needs to be ready, and willing to answer all the tough questions.

She hasn't been to Europe or Great Britain since what, 2016. She needs to get over there and show her face. Do some interviews, especially BBC Radio, or whatever it's called. Really, she needs to be doing a lot more than walking around propping Ty's ass up, and packing around her pooch.

Maverick needs to do their damn job, and take her for a sit down with the Spotify and YouTube folks, and make a deal with them, herself. Her Label isn't doing much, but she can talk to them and get them to sponsor her and promote her, for exclusive content. That will get her on all the popular playlists, and billboards. She doesn't need to rely on Columbia to do all this shit for her. She can help herself out, as well.

They need to scrub her SM, especially her Instagram, of anything that might be deemed problematic. The big Brands will not even consider her, for Celebrity Endorsements, if all they see is her partying it up, smoking dope all the damn time.

Lauren is a solo artist, now. She is no longer handcuffed, by a group image, or the set plan for that group. As a solo artist, she does have more say in her career, but she isn't as free as she is letting on. She has more freedom, than she had as a member of 5H, though.

Lauren needs to take some of that new found freedom, sit her management team down, tell them what she wants and expects for her career. If Maverick isn't willing to manage her career, the way she expects them to, then she needs to fire their ass, and find a manager who will.

Yes, she can fire them. As a solo artist, she pays them 15% of her earnings. If they aren't earning that 15%, she can hire someone who will. Camila did. Normani did. She can, too.

They need to put an end to all these stupid narratives. They need to.....You know what, I could sit here all day, and say what I think they all should do, but I'm not Lauren, her manager, or her Label. Maybe they have it all figured out, and are just slow walking her, I don't know. But, I do know, what they have chosen to do thus far, isn't really working, and it's really pissing me off.

Lauren has the talent to succeed in this damn business. She has the intelligence to succeed in this damn business. I just hope she has the will to succeed in this damn business. It's not really going to get any easier, at least not for a while....I really hope she achieves that dream she had when she was younger. I hope she finds that solo success, she always knew she was capable of. I know I'm rooting for her.

[thrakaboom]

Sha-Sha-Shazam: Why Captain Marvel Sold So Well

@zitkaplushie helped me transcribe a presentation I did back three years ago about why the Captain Marvel (Shazam) comics of the 1940s were so successful. Thank you!! Thank you too to @lyricxlili who helped me with the project originally.

Sha-Sha-Shazam! Why Captain Marvel Sold So Well.

The year was 1940. Overseas war was raging, and on the home front it was brewing as well. But on the newsstand a brand new hero named Captain Marvel was flying into the hearts of young children. 

Created for Fawcett comics by writer Bill Parker and artist C. C. Beck, boy Billy Batson said a magic word - Shazam! - and became the adult hero Captain Marvel. 

As Captain Marvel he had the powers of the gods Solomon, Hercules, Achilles, Zeus, Atlas and Mercury. These whimsical stories appealed to children and brought them into a magical world where terrible villains, such as the evil Dr Sivana and the formidable Mister Atom, could be defeated in less than 60 pages. 

He soon outsold even the biggest of the big; Superman!

Soon Captain Marvel’s family expanded with Billy’s twin sister Mary, family friend Freddy Freeman, the old con-man Uncle Marvel, and even Hoppy the Marvel Bunny. 

The Marvels were a phenomenon.

The Captain Marvel fan club had over four hundred thousand members at its peak. There were Marvel family figurines, colouring books, jigsaw puzzles, ties, patches; a ton of stuff. There was even a Mary Marvel clothing line.

So the question is: why were they so popular?

There are three main reasons; a combination of interesting storytelling, patriotism, and inclusivity. These three reasons created a sense of camaraderie and family in the readers. They too felt like they were part of the Marvel family. 

Camaraderie and Family.

Throughout the war years many children were robbed of fathers and older brothers, which is a devastating loss for young children. There were five million women who became widowed mothers and their children were left without fathers. Tens of thousands of children were alone during the day while mothers worked and fathers were overseas. 

It’s a natural conclusion that being part of a family was important to these children; and what a magical family the Marvels were.

Interesting Storytelling.

Captain Marvel’s storytelling was different from what other comics were putting out at the time. They were more silly and whimsical, and had a touch of both science-fiction and magic.

The Captain’s main writer, Otto Binder, was able to follow the logic of childhood and his stories were childhood wish fulfillment. His stories even had a talking tiger; and no children’s story can go wrong with a tiger! Cap’s main artist, C. C. Beck, was able to bring the characters to life in ways that were best for the stories.

And you can’t talk about the storytelling in the Captain Marvel franchise without talking about the implorable Monster Society of Evil, the very first villain society. Such terrible foes fighting our good heroes who are sure to have any kid on the edge of their seat. Even today, while many of the stories are dated, they’re still fun to read, and full of magic!

Patriotism.

It also had a wartime patriotism. According to Christine Dargy, who was 12 when Pearl Harbour was bombed; “We had to be patriotic. It was a way to be stronger during the wartime. It staved off fear.” In school kids had pinboards where they tracked the fighting, and regular stamp drives to raise money for war bonds. There were paper drives, rubber drives, tin drives- it was no wonder that the war played into the comic books as well, with villains like Captain Nazi and Captain Nippon, and Adolf Hitler himself.

In the beginning of many of the books there would be an ad reminding kids to buy war bonds, and a good portion of these stories were of the heroes helping the war effort. They caused a sense of American strength. We were a superpower, and we had superheroes with powers to protect us.

Inclusivity.

But possibly the biggest reason why the Marvels sold so well was a wish-fulfillment sort of inclusivity.  It was because anyone could be a superhero. Well, not anyone, but any white person. Orphans, poor children, girls, the disabled- they could all be superheroes- and the characters that most exemplified these ideas were Mary Batson and Freddy Freeman.

During the war the roles of women were changing, so the roles for girls in comics were changing too. While real women were leaving the home to be part of the WCA and WAVES, women in comic books were leaving their roles of girlfriends in damsels in distress to become heroes on their own. 

Among these heroes was Mary Marvel, who as Mary Batson would say the magic word Shazam! and became Mary Marvel, who was invincible. However, unlike her brother, when Mary said the magic word she didn’t change into an adult; she stayed an adolescent girl who could beat up a fully grown man twice her size without breaking a sweat.

According to comic book historian Chip Kidd, it was unheard of at the time for a little girl to more or less beat the tar out of a grown man. In all her stories she’s shown as smart, capable and strong, as both Mary Batson and Mary Marvel. And she could quip as well as any boy, not to mention throw a punch.

In the era of Dick and Jane many little girls grew up taking care of baby dolls and wanting to be housewives, like the damsels who did what their husbands wanted in the movies. Then here comes Mary Marvel, the worlds mightiest girl. Not only did she have the same amazing powers as her male counterparts, but she had stories and adventures that were hers and hers alone, something almost unheard of at the time.

The number of members of the Mary Marvel fan club is lost to history but it was one of the largest clubs for girls at the time. She was the perfect power fantasy for young girls. She was pretty but never sexualized, and kind but tough as nails and could beat up any big name. 

A WOW Comics ad says “Think girls can’t fight, eh? Then you don’t know Mary Marvel!”. Mary certainly was marvelous. She sold because she showed girls what they could be and she was marketed towards girls. Looking back on the century, especially in comics, Mary’s portrayal and role was very progressive. 

And then there’s Freddy Freeman- or Captain Marvel Junior. Freddy Freeman was a poor newsboy with a paralyzed leg who lived in a draft old attic, but who was pure of heart and had a strong sense of right and wrong, especially when it came to the downtrodden.

He was a modern day Tiny Tim, except when he said the magic word he became a powerful superhero who not only had the powers of the gods, but also use of his paralyzed leg. So why wasn’t Freddy Captain Marvel Junior all the time? 

Well for one, it wouldn’t make the stories as interesting, but the thing is Freddy is shown to be happy to just be Freddy Freeman. Even if he’s quieter and more observant than Mary and Billy, he still has relentless good cheer. Freddy Freeman is a capable young man with a life worth living, which not only was a strange concept at the time but today as well.

No one can know for sure, but this must have been a wonderful and empowering message for disabled youths whose futures were bleak: especially since the Americans with Disabilities Act wouldn’t be passed until sixty years later, which would guarantee equality in the workplace for the disabled. 

He was a hit with the readers, and his own title sold extremely well. While many of Captain Marvel Junior’s stories were about helping poor orphans like himself, Captain Marvel Junior’s biggest villain was Captain Nazi. We don’t know if the choice was intentional, because Junior’s writers died without speaking about it, but it’s a very interesting choice with what was going on in Nazi Germany at the time.

In October of 1939, Hitler passed Aktion T-4 in order to kill those unfit to live; a pretty way to say the disabled. Aktion T-4 was a precursor to the Holocaust and killed around two hundred thousand people. 

Whether intentional or not, it’s a very interesting choice to have one of the champions of America be a disabled child while fighting the champion of Hitler. Most of the impact of Captain Marvel Junior on the disabled community, especially young children with disabilities, is speculation but it’s not far-fetched to assume that seeing a happy kid with a disability who was not only competent and had friends but was a superhero was very important and encouraging to them. 

The Marvels sold so well because they were the right superheroes for the right time. During what could be called the only just war during the 20th and 21st century, they were pure of heart and undeniably good and were exactly what kids needed. These characters provided that for all children- boys, girls, the poor, the rich, the disabled. The reason they sold so well was because they were what superheroes always should be- hopeful and kind with a progressive mentality, and most importantly what all children can strive to be.

[twohearts-hs]

‘Apples’ - Shawn Mendes Imagine

Words: 1,818

Pairing: Shawn Mendes & (Y/N) (Y/L/N)

Warnings: Severe angst, divorce, alcohol

|| Masterlist in bio ||

-

She sat down. A huff left her lips as she plopped herself on her new couch. She didn’t know whether she was happy or tired. But Y/N looked around her new place and smiled, bringing her glass of Merlot to her lips. Her kids were in bed and now she could finally relax after the moving day.

But, she felt alone. This was all new to her, being by herself and being a single mum. Yet, she had to do it. She had to get the divorce. They were both miserable.

She laughed at the memories of Shawn. They flooded back. She remembered it all, from the first day she saw him and the gentle smile adorning his lips to his tear covered face as she whispered the ‘d’ word. But, she laughed only at the good memories. They all came back as she looked at her fireplace and slowly got drunk off her cheap-ass boxed wine.

-

Y/N giggled, watching him shake his hips to her playlist in her flat. She laughed as he danced horribly towards her, kissing her and shaking away from her younger self. They’d only known each other for about three months now, but her whole life had changed.

She only wore a tank and underwear as the aftermath their morning rendezvous, but she enjoyed small moments like these. She leant over, grabbing a pack of cigarettes that she only smoked every so often; a treat for good times. Shawn crashed down on her old mattress that was close to broken and grabbed a smoke as well. She brought the stick to her mouth, breathed in the intoxicating air, and smiled.

This was their normal weekends at this point of the relationship. They’d stay in bed all day, having sex and smoking fags. It was so informal, so perfect and lively. And she constantly wondered what’d changed.

-

Of course, she felt a load of pity when their relationship went off the tracks. But she couldn’t sit and look at him across the table when signing the documents while spilling the worst excuse ever: ‘I never meant to break your heart’. Such a stupid answer she told when she requested them to split or, ‘I’m to blame for all your pain’. Too cliché, she realised, too pathetic. But, she had to do it. She had to break it off, as they were both to the point of depression with each other.

Y/n remembers how they no longer spoke when he came home. If they were to chat, it was horrible, dry chatter. ‘How was your day?’, ‘fine’, ‘ok’. That was it. She would never regret each other. Shawn was still a fantastic father, but he wasn’t a fantastic husband anymore. Towards the end of it, they weren’t even having sex.

She came out to him and was honest. Y/N really loved him, too much, to the point that she’d die for him. But, she was raised with certain standards. A guy was only good for writing the cheque. Later on, she realised a relationship was way more than that, but they went from being lively to dull. It was a routine and a boring one at that. So, when Shawn was off conquering the countries with his music, she filled her nights with shit telly and hard liquor.

Everyone she loved saw this and thought she was a wreck, but she simply believed that she was an adventurer waiting for another journey. Y/N was never a settler, a person to give up. And, with Shawn, she couldn’t be her twenty-year-old self anymore. After saying her vows and pushing out two babies, she wasn’t herself.

Her memories of the early days were perfect. Cheeky dinner dates and hidden tattoos, the hotel minibar shazam, daydreaming out loud ‘till sunrise overtook the stars, private planes, and non-stop living; that was her life. Not housewifing and baking brownies for her six years old’s bake sale on a Sunday night. She wanted to go back to having sex in the janitor’s closet and getting so drunk you don’t even know your own name. She wanted her old life back. But with Shawn, he couldn’t give that to her. He grew up; she didn’t.

Y/n knew what type of man Shawn was. He was the ‘Playboy, but I want kids’ type of guy. She just fell too hard and gave up everything for him.

One year in, he gave her a set of keys. Two years and he bent down on one knee. Three years and they’re living out in the country. Four years and he’d given her her beautiful babies. It was all too much for her. She freaked out and said ‘yes’ to it all.

Y/N didn’t regret her lovies; she loved her babies to bits. She didn’t regret Shawn. She just wished she’d balanced and figured everything out better.

Now, she sat in her living room, looking at her new life, crying from the mistake she’d made.  

“I’m just like my mummy and daddy.” She whispered, staring off into the distance. Rubbing her tear-laced eye.

“I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” She smiled, raising her cup up to her dog across her. What a fucking mess she is now.

-

She closed the door to the townhouse in a puff. The first day of truly being a single mum had yet to finish, and all she needed was a gin and tonic and a huff of a smoke. She hadn’t smoked since she met Shawn, but the obsession cultivated her veins at the moment.

She laughed pathetically and went to her fridge. Her kids were dropped off at school and now she was left with her own thoughts. The calendar was attached on the fridge and she eyed the red ink circling her ex-husband’s name. He was back that day and it was his turn with the kids.

She was willing enough to give them to him. Y/n believed that Shawn should be in her kids’ life. She wasn’t one of those ex-wives that held a grudge, reminding herself that she was the one that walked out.

Man, she felt stupid. She couldn’t even go to the grocery store without seeing the headlines, ‘Shawn Mendes divorcing wife’.

Y/N took a swig of whatever was in her house and internally screamed. Shawn still loved her. She knew that. She knew it to the fullest potential.

“God, I’m so wild and ruthless.” She mumbled, walking towards the door of her home after hearing a knock.

“What the fuck do you want?” She pulled the door and seeing someone she didn’t want to see at the moment, “Shit…”

Shawn raised his eyebrows, eyeing the bottle of rum in Y/n’s hands.

“Can I come in?”

She nodded way too enthusiastically and opened the door fully. She began walking away, shaking her hips to whatever was on the radio she turned on.

“Want a drink?”

Shawn took a breather and followed his ex-wife. “It’s ten a.m., Y/n.”

She turned around and laughed. “Five o’clock somewhere.”

He nodded, not picking up her joking matter. He sat down at her kitchen table as she worked to get him a coffee.

“I thought you weren’t home till the twenty-third.” She told him, handing over the mug.

“Baileys?” She nodded, “Meetings and shit ended early. I wanted to see my bubs.”

She rolled her eyes, “You’re out of luck. They’re at school.”

“I know. I wanted to see you. See how you’re holding up...and I don’t think you are.” He mumbled the last bit.

“I’m holding perfectly fine. Still alive, ey? Noah and Ivy are still alive as well.”

He took a sip of his coffee. She was always good at making coffee and baileys. Y/n taught him, but it was never like hers.

“All else aside, how are you?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I’m fine, you?”

He huffed. “No, you’re not. You’re a wreck and selfish.”

“So, I’m a little selfish.” She mumbled, grabbing his coffee and taking a sip of it after abandoning the bottle.

“You’re a drunk.”

She shook her head. “No. I can’t believe you would say that. You can deal with this far differently than I am, Shawn.” She chugged down the coffee that she made for him and which she stole for herself.

“I get it, you’re a family man. You get over things and doing what you need to do to get by; so am I. Don’t come to my house and judge and cause a fight. If I had the time of day, I would give all of it to that, but I am a busy woman, Shawn. I am tired, and helpless because of everything; give me time to heal. Fuck off.”

He got up from the chair and walked towards the door, shaking his head. “I’m picking up the kids because you’re drunk and miserable. Figure out your shit or else I’m taking them. Grow the fuck up, Y/n.” He stared her down.

She scoffed. “Fuck you.” And he left without even looking back.

That night she sat in her own thoughts. Her humble home wasn’t filled with children’s laughter or the soft snoring of her babies. It was just her, the dog, and some sitcom.

She looked at her dog, raising her coffee mug of wine in a cheers matter; she didn’t have any glasses left clean.

“Cheers to being a fucking mess, eh?”  She only got that dog so Shawn couldn’t be in her home; he’s allergic to them. Also the fact that the kids constantly begged for one, so she got one...to win them over. It was always a competition with him.

The competition wasn’t like this before. It was sweet competitions: who made the better pancakes and loser does the laundry sort of thing. But, her impossible self of being an Aries overruled and took it one step higher.

But, she got better. Every day was challenge after challenge as a new one arose. She let loose but wasn’t ashamed of who she originally was. She was lost but found herself. What she regretted the most out of everything was herself.

He saw her as evil, but she wasn’t evil, just scared. Scared of growing up and maturing. She regrets the way she acted towards him because she still fucking loved him. She loved him more than life itself. But, she just needed time away to heal.

[angelearnshaw]

DC UNIVERSE’S FIRST TV SERIES ‘TITANS’ IS GETTING POSITIVE REVIEWS AND HERE’S WHY!

Everything DC got right in its new series.

 As a fan of all things DC and superheroes, my heart is happy with how Titans is faring so far. Admittedly, there was a little bit of worry on my part upon seeing the trailer for the first time. While I was excited to see it, I was also hoping I didn’t get disappointed with it. I’ve been waiting for this show to come out even when it wasn’t a sure thing yet. But now, I gotta say, waiting one week just for another episode is even harder.

With a positive 93% rating from Google users and 81% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, I think I’m not the only one impressed. If you ask me, here are the reasons why we love it and keep coming back for more!

(As always, warning for the spoilers ahead!)

1.       THE BOY WONDER

Two words: Dick Grayson.

 I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one here who is very motivated to watch because finally, finally! We get to see the Richard John Grayson portrayed as he was meant to be portrayed (no offense Chris O’ Donell). They really did give him an apt nickname as the Boy Wonder. Because boyyyy he is wonderful.

 Although I’ve never imagined Dick as this dark and brooding character, I guess it only makes sense seeing as he recently called it quits with his sort- of adoptive father slash partner in superheroing. Plus, I’m guessing growing up around Batman isn’t exactly sunshine and rainbows, and it’ obvious from the flashbacks and from his reaction when Raven mentions the circus that the death of his parents still weighs very heavily on him. Again just like Bruce.

 And that’s not where the similarities end. Even the way Dick fights clearly shows his training from Batman. We see him blending in with the shadows, grabbing enemies and whisking them away screaming. That use of the gas while covering half his face with the cape maneuver. This are all classic Batman techniques!

 Also can we talk about how well he’s trained as a fighter? Because Hawk and Dove were about to be roasted birds before he swooped in to save them. They couldn’t handle the bad guys when there was two of them, but Dick made quick work of them without even breaking a sweat. Of course, since I’m talking about his awesome fighting skills, I need to mention that retractable bo staff. When he first brought it out, my heart literally leapt with joy because it looked so much like an eskrima stick which is his weapon of choice (as I’ve mentioned before). After it extended into a bo staff, I was a little disappointed. But only a little, because the way it happened was pretty cool. Well played Greg Berlanti and Akiva Goldsman. Well played.

 We also need to give credit to Dick for his discipline. The way he cleans up his suit after every fight and checks all of his equipment really shows you the kind of training he received from Bruce (or maybe Alfred). As I was telling my dad, who is also a major fan by the way, “he seems to be the Batman we’ve always wanted, but never gotten.”

 Of course, there are some bad sides. He needs to get rid of all that broodiness and darkness. Jason Todd could use some of it, though. Cause from what I’ve seen in the trailers, Jason seems to be a bit too preppy. I think somebody mistakenly switched their personalities. Also, no one appreciates a girlfriend stealer Dick! What the heck you doing cozying up to Dove? I would prefer it if he and Donna were together instead. I honestly ship them more than I do him and Starfire. I hope this is explored in the series.

 On an ending note (because I could write about Dick Grayson all day), can we just thank whoever decided to cast Brenton Thwaites as Nightwing? Bless your soul. Who wouldn’t mind looking at him all day? *swoon*

(Our first time seeing Dick as he stalks a child abuser and contemplates on putting on his mask)

(Hello to you too Detective Grayson) 

2.       EDGINESS WITH A PINCH OF HUMOR

 I’ve always loved DC’s dark tone. While I do appreciate the humor in Marvel, the dark tone of DC just gives it a much more realistic vibe. These are real people facing real dilemmas. They do get bruised (as seen in Dick’s shirtless scenes) and bloody and broken (as also seen from Hank’s shirtless scene). I like that the series is exploring that and showing us, that yes, these characters are far from perfect. That yes, they walk a fine line between being a hero and a villain, and one wrong decision could put them on the wrong side. They go through pain and heartbreak and betrayal. It’s very raw. Very dark. But I love it.

 I also love that the attempt to inject humor here is just right. It’s not overly done or pathetic- looking like Shazam (sorry for those who are excited to see it, but really, I think they tried too hard to be funny with that one and just died). The humor here is much more muted, just perfect to give a little lightness from all the torn up feelings the characters are experiencing. Like I said, it’s just a pinch, but it’s there. And I think the writers have found a perfect balance.

 3.       PERFECT CAST

I’ve already thanked whoever cast Brenton Thwaites, but really I’m amazed by the entire ensemble. Even to the people behind the scenes for making a successful show to launch the DC Universe streaming platform. This can really be a good start for the other upcoming series like Doom Patrol and Harley Quinn. 

Aside from Dick, I’d have to say Raven is also beautifully portrayed by Teagan Croft (and apparently she’s only fourteen?! Dude, what? Can I adopt her?!). 

I’m also warming up to Starfire. From the first episode I’ve seen, she can be a badass, but her fun and cavalier personality also shines through as she tried to remember who she is. I’m hoping to see more of the free- spirited, fun- loving Starfire like in the comics and old animated series. Anna Diop is great with giving us the strong yet blasé personality, even that naivety, which Starfire seems to have. 

And of course, let’s not forget Hawk and Dove (aka Hank and Dawn). Although I’m not a fan of their somewhat toxic relationship, I did fall in love with Dove’s calm and calming presence. On the other hand, I also like how Ritchson contrasts that with the douchebag that is Hank/ Hawk. Apparently, opposites still attract. Can’t wait to see Donna and Beast Boy incorporated more into the story.

4.       ACTION (AND VIOLENCE?)

Welllllllll I’m not really a fan of the violence, but I guess it’s a part of what makes the show interesting. The fight scenes are very well choreographed. I love that there are some tumblings done by Dick (maybe a stunt double) that show his acrobatic roots. I also love the teamwork shown in the scene where he’s fighting alongside Hawk and Dove. There seems to be large amounts of blood spilled, whether it be the bad guys or the good guys. It’s not entirely necessary and reminds me too much of Netflix’s The Punisher, but I guess some people like that. Kudos to the fight choreographers though! Because of them (and not the blood) the fight scenes have become my favourite part of the show. I could watch those scenes a ton of times.

OTHER NOTEWORTHY THINGS:

·         Donna Troy (Wonder Girl) is set to make an appearance and you don’t know how happy this makes me! She’s Dick’s best friend in the comics and I ship them so hard. Can’t wait to see what their chemistry will be like on screen and what Wonder Girl will bring to the table. Since Wonder Woman was a big hit, I’m expecting something good from her as well.

·         People die in this universe and, although it makes me sad, it is something unavoidable in a superhero movie. I always kind of disliked the fact that no one ever stays dead in a superhero movie or story. Tragedy is a great part of what makes a hero. However, if they kill off Dove, I’m starting a protest.

·         Starfire and Raven get costumes. Although it hasn’t been shown in the series per se, it’s been confirmed with some BTS pictures, and that’s nearly as good. My girl Donna should also get her own clothes otherwise-

·         Grayson’s soft side when it comes to Rachel. Honestly, Dick being a dad to Rachel and totally denying that he’s good with family is the cutest thing ever (Also can we talk about him calling her Rache?! Too cute!)

And that’s about it! What are you most looking forward to seeing from Titans? Who do you want to be on the team? And are you liking it so far? Sound off with a comment!

[mattbrothersscriptwriter]

My Top 20 Films of 2019 - Part One

I’m back and prising open this tomb of a blog like I’m Lara bloody Croft, let’s do this thing.

2019 was a huge year for movies and thanks in part to my ever obsessive Letterboxd account, i chalked up 150 total 2019 movies seen, which is... too many. Thanks again in part to the rise of Netflix originals, broader theatrical releases and a handful of festival showings (Sundance London, Edinburgh International Film Festival, Frightfest etc), I saw as much as I could. STILL some I didn’t catch (Rocketman, Shazam... Cats...) but as always, for my full breakdown, jump over to my Letterboxd ranking here - https://letterboxd.com/matt_bro/list/films-of-the-year-2019/

20. The Death of Dick Long

I honestly didn’t know what to expect from this, partly because it’s from one half of the ‘Daniels’ duo, who made the equally expectation-defying Swiss Army Man and also because I saw it at Sundance London back when there was no poster, trailer and barely a logline. Some vague word of mouth from Sundance proper was about it. And that’s how I’d recommend seeing it - as blind as you can - as it’s many surprises are unlike anything I’ve really seen before.

It’s a triumph of carefully balanced tone and pitch perfect black humour. Essentially a Fargo-esque tale of two idiot hillbillys who get involved in the mysterious, titular death of their friend Dick Long (played in a cameo by director Daniel Scheinert), things slowly unravel as they realise that in reality, covering your tracks and getting away with a crime is, actually, pretty damn unlikely. The tension that mounts as hidden truths inevitably begin to come to light can rival any straight thriller and the humour always comes from a place of character. But the genius comes in the film’s ability to maintain said tone with a straight face once a very specific spoiler comes to light. It’s deliberately absurdist but you still find yourself swerving from laughing at it to being wholly invested at the sincere pathos and tragi-comedy on display. The film, for all it’s surreal trappings, never punches down at it’s characters, treating them as flawed and vulnerable as any of us, and the leads Michael Abbott Jr and Andre Hyland remain a wholly tragic and relatable pair - against all odds.

19. The Farewell

Lulu Wang’s immensely crowd pleasing indie sensation manages to be many things - a witty comedy, an ode to family, an examination of another culture’s traditions and a character study of the American-Asian experience. Like most really great movies, it’s universal appeal comes from it’s specificity - telling a unique story based in a human truth that taps into themes we can all relate to: alienation from one’s own family, feeling like you don’t belong, truth and honesty within our closest relationships and our own mortality. Or more specifically still; how we would want to face death should we be fortunate/unfortunate enough to know that is is coming.

Awkwafina really is a revelation here, showing off her dramatic chops with a heartfelt performance that utilises her strengths as a funny everywoman and as a tortured individual trying to understand not only her own relatives but herself as well. The whole cast are equally impressive, especially Chen Han and Aoi Mizuhara as the clueless couple getting married and of course, Zhao Shuzhen as Nai Nai - delivering a touching portrayal of a grandmotherly figure we can all recognise. Definitely one of the most moving films of the year for me, it’s a marvel that never succumbs to easy schmaltz or signposted resolutions.

18. Pain and Glory

I’m a big admirer of Pedro Almodovar’s body of work, having studied him since college but I’d be hard pressed to say I was a proper fan. I went into this off the back of it’s buzz and came out more profoundly moved than I first predicted. This very self reflective piece tackles a lot of Almodovar staples - Spain throughout the decades, the pain of love, film-making, mothers! - but is so strongly rooted in a career best Antonion Banderas, here playing a thinly veiled and somewhat fictionalised version of Almodovar himself.

Like The Farewell, it is deeply personal but incredibly universal, dealing with life long regrets and suppressed trauma and memory. Cruz the Muse is back in magnetic form and the tenderness in both the flashbacks and present day make for a surprisingly comforting watch about an awful lot of self-examination. It also cannot be understated how strong Banderas is here, possibly the most human I’ve ever seen the man known for playing gun toting mariachis, sword wielding masked heroes and... sword wielding, um... cats. It’s possibly his most mature and unflashy role in years but he reminds us why he’s such a consistent and evergreen movie star ten times over here.

17. Dolemite Is My Name

Eddie Murphy is back baby! This was hands down one of the most joyful and life affirming films this year, so much so that I’m gutted I didn’t see it in a packed cinema instead of on Netflix. Still, it’s a huge win for the streamer. Before now, it’s been easy enough to write off a ‘Netflix’ movie as one of three things - the modern equivalent of going ‘straight to video’, a blank check passion project for a headline grabbing filmmaker (Noah Baumbach, the Coen Brothers, Martin Scorsese) or a big blatant push for awards glory (Roma). But this breaks through and hits the sweet spot, being the sort of mid-budget biopic the studios used to put out, a comeback vehicle for one of our most missed stars and as a straight up killer piece of film making all round.

From the writers of Ed Wood and the director of Hustle and Flow, Murphy stars as Rudy Ray Moore, a true over-the-hill underdog who stubbornly chases his dreams of reaching stardom as a middle aged man, who refuses to be put down in the face of mass criticism and overwhelming odds. It’s an empowerment story about pursuing what you believe in and saying fuck you to the haters. It understands that the only judge you need to answer to is yourself. It’s a testament to the power of a minority voice, in finding the unstoppable force who will fight to be seen - not just by his peers but by society at large. 

I’m a sucker for films about a group of people stretched outside of their natural talents who strive to create something that wasn’t there before. Whether it’s Ed Wood or The Disaster Artist, Brigbsy Bear or Bowfinger - these movies never fail to strike a chord with me. I think championing a belief in yourself, often in the face of huge pessimism or swarms of naysayers, is so incredibly important and seeing these central figures who probably shouldn’t have succeeded, manage to do so, is so touching. The scene in the limo when they read the shitty reviews of their movie and all take a moment to arrive at the conclusion of ‘fuck them, we made a movie, it’s ours’ is an antidote to everybad review any creative endeavour may end up receiving. If it’s important to you, that’s all that matters but like all art, even if you reach one person and affect their life for the better, then it’s all been worth it.

Shining a light on the rise of Blaxploitation also helps to champion an era of outsider art that reflected the lives of millions and gave many more than chance to see themselves represented on screen as their OWN heroes and not just reductive stereotypes. Plus... Snipes is also back baby! Cripes it’s Snipes!

16. Monos

What a gargantuan feat this film is. Shooting in some of the most inhospitable locations ever seen, this tense, survivalist story of a band of young soldiers slowly imploding whilst they guard an American hostage is elemental and animalistic - a 21st century Lord of the Flies for sure.

Moises Arias is unrecognisable here as the eventual alpha Bigfoot. A former Disney star, he is most fondly remembered by me as the polar opposite Biaggio in one of my other favourite films of the decade, The Kings of Summer. The rest of the cast are fantastic too, from the captured Dr Watson (Julianne Nicholson) to the morally torn Rambo (Sofia Buenaventura). With some of the most breathtaking cinematography of the year to yet another stunning Mica Levi score, this feels like a lost Herzog masterpiece from the 70s. In other words, the kind of impossible thriller that you see all too rarely these days.

15. Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood

Any new Tarantino is a cause for celebration, especially as he approaches his long-threatened ‘final’ 10th movie. I’m a massive western guy so I’d been loving his detour into the genre through both Django Unchained and The Hateful Eight but was definitely looking forward to his depiction of 1960s Hollywood. And Tarantino being Tarantino, the western influences manage to find their way into most, if not all, of his filmography.

OUATIH certainly ended up a divisive piece. Too much of an aimless character hangout for some, not enough dramatic bite for others. I was initially left a bit cold myself, knowing I’d enjoyed what I’d seen but wondering if it would go up or down in my estimations upon a second viewing. While that second viewing still hasn’t taken place yet, I tend to believe it will be even more favourable knowing where it’s all heading. I’m in the camp that loved where this film ended up and thought it stuck the landing wonderfully and in DiCaprio and Pitt, the film found a truly dynamic and compelling central friendship fuelled by two A-listers back on A-list form. The two veterans instantly deliver some of their best work in years (DiCaprio is 10x more alive here than he was in his Oscar winning turn in The Revenant) and 2019 would go on to be Pitt’s year, alongside Ad Astra. Margot Robbie is luminous in her limited screentime and while some were disappointed she wasn’t more of a major player, he Tate is arguably the lynchpin of the whole piece. Perhaps more as a symbol than a person, sure, but the scene where she gets to witness the joy her big screen clowning brings others (complete with tactfully judged real life Tate footage) is magic.

At first glance, this could seem like QT regressing somewhat but there are moments in here that stand out as some of his best work, from DiCaprio’s stroppy meltdown to Pitt’s visit to Spahn Ranch to the whole bloody climax. If it ends up being the odd duck of his filmography (Four Rooms aside) then it will end up all the more interesting and I am already captivated.

14. Stan & Ollie

Easily the most underrated film of the year in my eyes, I sort of understand most people’s dismissal of this charming biopic as grey pound fodder and even I admit that it falls into a sub-genre quickly approaching cliche: ageing Golden Age Hollywood movie stars have one last stab at fame and redemption by reviving a stage act in the UK - see also Film Stars Don’t Die in Liverpool and Judy. But this is so sweetly put together in every sense and manages to transcend the biopic trappings to create a more loving portrait of two old friends accepting that they love each other. It’s about male, platonic love and that in itself is rare enough.

Steve Coogan and John C. Reilly are incredible as Laurel and Hardy respectively, both disappearing into the roles completely. Shirley Henderson and Nina Arianda provide brilliant comic support as their two very mismatched wives. The decision to focus on the duo’s later years, rather than to speed chronologically through their early days and movie making prime (glimpsed in the opening flashback) means that the film is free to draw pathos from a life long lived. There are mere hints at the history between them; chasms of time that hold so much importance yet are left to us (and to the actors) to speculate about, to draw from and to imagine. The performances are so strong that you can feel the weight of their professional careers in a sideways glance or a barbed retort or an exasperated sigh. It’s so much more interesting and allows practically the whole film to feed off this feeling that their entire lives are about to reach an impasse that we’re about to witness. This is the emotional resolution to the story of Laurel and Hardy and it’s wonderful to know that this is how it went down in real life too - that two lifelong colleagues couldn’t see how much they meant to each other until it was all about to come to an end. 

Ultimately, it’s a story of loyalty and friendship in the face of a fast approaching curtain call. It’s bittersweet and truly sad, watching these two iconic titans perform to tiny crowds and hopelessly chase the dream of a comeback they both know, deep down, is long dead. It also contains two of the most tear-jerking scenes of the year: the very public bust up after one of their shows (”You loved Laurel and Hardy... but you never loved me”) and the ‘turn’ in the climax that wrong footed me so suddenly, despite it’s arguable foreshadowing, that I was almost immediately weeping. A truly touching British film of the highest calibre, it’s much more affecting that you might believe.

13. The Favourite

How does it feel like a million years since I saw this? Man, 2019 was long! Yorgos Lanthimos’ biggest hit yet, this is full of wild, punk energy and gives the period piece a real anarchic streak. Easily the best three hander in years, the ever evolving dynamic between Rachel Weisz, Emma Stone (hot off an Oscar win) and QUEEN Olivia Coleman (heading directly into an Oscar win) is a joy to watch. The dialogue is biting, the visuals sumptuous and the debauched attitude running through it makes it a wicked fun time. It’s influence is already being felt too - just check out that teaser trailer for the new Emma!

12. The Art of Self Defense

Unfairly shafted to VOD, I caught Riley Stern’s follow up to the ace Faults on the big screen whilst in Edinburgh, along with a fellow filmmaker and we had an absolute blast. Playing like a capital D dark comedy mash up of Fight Club and The Foot Fist Way if directed by Yorgos Lanthimos, Jesse Eisenberg utilises his weedy, beta male persona into an effective portrayal of a guy sick of being shit on in life, who takes up karate lessons after a traumatic mugging and slowly descends into a cult-like world of aggressive toxic masculinity. 

It’s a fantastic satire of perceived manliness, with some of the funniest stuff I’ve seen all year instantly flipping into something completely shocking. It’s another great showcase for Imogen Poots, who seems to be most often caught playing students despite being in her 30s (looking at you, Black Christmas) but it’s Alessandro Nivola who utterly owns this movie as the intimidating dojo leader; a truly twisted creation that, in a just world, would be generating some serious awards buzz. Mark my words now that by the time the Sopranos prequel movie The Many Saints of Newark lands later in 2020, we’ll suddenly all be talking about him.

11. Us

Another one that feels about three years old already, Jordan Peele’s Get Out follow up finds him with free reign to really get crazy (”you wanna get crazy?”) as he uses his blank check on another bitingly original horror social satire. Leaning a bit more heavily into both the straight up genre elements AND the often-times confusing social allegories, Us is a cabin in the woods slasher that evolves into a Twilight Zone ‘what-if’ scenario before going all out with it’s underlying metaphor.

The results can occasionally be mixed but the sheer ambition on display here is invigorating and it’s captivating to sit back and let a writer/director present something to you as unique and multifaceted as this. His love for horror fuels a tense plot that constantly looks to re-shuffle the stakes every twenty minutes, Lupita Nyong’o is mindbogglingly good as two very different versions of ‘one’ character and Elisabeth Moss is the supporting standout of choice, making 2019 her year with this alongside the brilliant Her Smell... (let’s not mention The Kitchen).

COMING UP - a Canadian stuntman, a wheel of knives, space baboons and every superhero ever

[easilydistractedandamused]

Chapter 8 of Billy Batson

Chapter 8: News

Billionaire Bruce Wayne brings in new son!

That was the headline on the newspaper Hal slapped onto the table in front of Batman, making him glance up at him.

“Is there something you needed?” he asked, sounding bored.

“Yeah, I need to know if this is true,” he said jabbing a finger at the newspaper.

“It’s true,” he confirmed.

“And you’re only now telling us about this?” Hal demanded angrily.

“You truly do have a new son? I thought that was mere rumour,” Diana said blinking her eyes and as the others moved in, Victor knew what they didn’t, that his son was Shazam. That the constant reporters around Wayne Manor was keeping the magic user from reporting in. Batman almost couldn’t himself, but he had teleporters in the Batcave to get here.

“No, his name is Billy,” he said simply, hoping to end it there.

“Billy Batson, right?” Victor asked, earning a glare from the dark knight but he just gave him a cheeky grin (the same cheeky grin that Billy often gave him) as Hal burst out laughing.

“Oh, please tell me you're kidding,” he said amused.

“No, completely serious. His full name is William Joseph Batson, thirteen years old,” he said with a smile

“And how did you know about that?” Clark asked him with a curious frown.

“I’m connected to everything. The second Bats here got the test results on the paternity test, so did I,” he said and they nodded their heads in understanding.

“Which means you’ve been holding out on us, buddy,” Hal said pointing at Cyborg. It was one thing for Bruce to keep a secret from them, he was Batman so it was pretty much expected, but this was Victor , who was very much not Batman.

“Nah, I’ve just been distracted,” he admitted with a shrug.

“Distracted with what?” Bruce asked harshly.

“With Shazam,” he said honestly. It wasn’t a good idea to lie to Batman, and keep as close to the truth as possible. Something he had learned from Billy actually.

“Speaking of that crazy bastard, where is he?” Hal asked looking around as if he would suddenly appear out of nowhere.

“Busy with family problems. I doubt he’ll be able to come in for a few weeks,” Victor said honestly. It would take time for him to figure out how to slip away from both the reporters and from Batman after all.

“This has to do with the thing with the uncle he doesn’t trust?” Clark asked, reminding him of his sharp memory that he remembered a few off hand comments. That was probably why Billy was always so careful about how he chooses his words around both him and Bruce.  

“Yeah, it has to do with that,” he admitted, because it really did. His uncle was the whole reason he was dealing with the whole ‘moving to Gotham and living with a billionaire’ situation after all.

“Give him our regards, will you?” he said

“I’ll be sure to tell him,” he said with a nod of his head.

“By the way, Bruce. As a reporter, I’m offended you didn’t tell me about this,” he told him with mock offended eyes.

“You were dealing with something at the time of the press conference and it would be suspicious if I contacted you for every interview,” he said easily.

“For who?” Hal muttered, but Bruce was distracted by his buzzing phone.

“I thought you turned it off when you're in uniform?” Clark asked curiously.

“I have a son that doesn’t know I’m Batman. I need to have it on, especially with him just moving in,” he said bringing it up to his ear as he pulled the cowl off. “This is Bruce,” he answered.

“I know you told me to give him space, but he brought a picnic basket onto the roof,” Damian said without hesitation, making Bruce furrow his brows in confusion.

“ Why would he be on the roof with a picnic basket?” he couldn't help but ask, getting odd looks from the others.

“I don't know,” he scoffed, probably rolling his eyes. “He just had Alfred prepare him some food in a basket and climbed onto the roof. I normally wouldn't be concerned, but his wrist is still sprained,” he said idly.

“How long ago did he climb up there?” Bruce asked.

“ Ten minutes ago,” he said unconcerned.

“It's not like it would be the first time you climbed onto a roof, Damian,” he said casually, hearing his youngest scoff and hang up on him

“I'm worried about your parenting style,” Hal declared.

“Should you not be more concerned about your son being on the roof?” Clark asked him concerned, more so because he heard both sides of the conversation, including the fact that his son was injured and should not be climbing onto the roof to begin with.

“I was warned by his foster parents and his case worker both that he likes to climb onto the roof of whatever home he’s staying in. They informed me that if I gave him his space, he would stop doing it so often,” he said making them blink.

“Foster Parents?” Diana asked confused.

“Oh, that’s right. No one’s ever explained the Foster care system to you, have they?” Hal asked her and she shook her head, confused.

“When parents are unable or unwilling to care for their children for whatever reason and other relatives are also unable to care for the child, they wind up in Foster Care, where a caseworker is assigned to them to place them into a forever home. Foster Homes are temporary homes for the children,” Bruce said.

“And foster parents are these temporary parents?” she asked and they nodded their heads in agreement. “That is a most wonderful system,” she said.

“True, but like all government organizations, it has it's faults. Most of the Foster Parents only apply to the system to gain extra money and don’t properly care for the children. Some children even slip through the cracks in the system entirely,” Bruce said.

“That is horrible. Surely they are working to fix this?” she said and they all glanced at each other and tried to explain it further to Diana without working her into a frenzy.

Wayne Manor-

“Is something wrong, Damian?” Billy asked as his younger brother (and that was a weird thought for him still, that he had a little brother) who was climbing up the roof without any hesitation or fear. He probably climbed up here a lot as well, Billy couldn’t help but think (and privately, he wondered if he was invading his space, a place he went to think like Billy did)

“I was wondering about the picnic basket,” he answered curtly, making Billy look at the item in question. “After all, you still have a sprained wrist. It couldn’t have been easy to bring that up here,” he said sitting next to him.

“The view up here is nice,” Billy said looking over the grounds. You couldn’t even see the reporters, too. “And it’s a nice day today, so I couldn’t help but think it would be a shame to spend it inside,” he answered with a smile. “What? Is something on my face?” he asked when Damian stared at him long and hard, as if searching for something.

“Just trying to see if this is an honest response, or another lie, ” he answered curtly, making Billy flinch a little.

“What?” he asked.

“When you smile, it's usually a lie. A mask you wear,” he answered. “This time, it wasn’t a lie, it seems,” he said.

“Not all of my smiles are some mask,” Billy said, maybe with a bit more of an attitude than necessary, but he was still reeling from the fact that someone had seen through it. “It makes dealing with Foster Parents easier if they think you're some naive little kid who’s so grateful to be given a new home,” he said with a start of a sneer on his face. “It makes them feel better about themselves,” he said, anger started to appear in his voice before he quickly looked away, before the bitterness started to show.

“That’s certainly one way to think about it,” Damian said, humming. “But you still didn’t explain the picnic basket, ” he said making Billy smile.

“I like picnics,” he said. “My old family had them all the time, we’d have one big picnic before they went to their dig sites and another while we were at the dig site. The first was just with us, the second was with everyone at the dig site,” he said starting to pull out food, recalling the sound of laughter. He had never minded with everyone else, because they were also like his family. “We didn’t have the picnic when they left for Egypt. I was too sick,” he said, a hint of sadness in his eyes

“I don’t eat meat,” he told him, bringing a can of juice over to him.

“I have an apple if you’re hungry?” Billy said, holding out the fruit.

“It’s satisfactory,” he responded accepting the fruit. “Next time you want to have a picnic, don’t have it on the roof though,” he told him. “There’s a section in the backyard where you can have one,” he said.

“Maybe, but it doesn’t have this view,” Billy admitted, taking a bite from the sandwich as he looked out across the grounds.

It didn’t beat the view from the watchtower, but it was a close second in his mind.

"By the way, I haven't seen Mr. Wayne in awhile and I'm pretty sure I would have noticed him leave, especially from up here," Billy said looking at Damian curiously, who was already making a mental note to inform their father that Billy got curious when he disappeared during the day. He didn't want Billy to know about him being Batman after all and, if nothing else, he would suffer with them.

"I believe he's in one of the studies working on something for the company," he said without giving away anything and Billy hummed, taking another bite of the sandwich.  "Was there something you wanted to speak to him about?" he asked.

"Nah. I'm just curious," he said with a shrug.

[tessatechaitea]

Dark Nights: Metal #2

I could tell this cover was by John Romita Jr. because of Batman's stupid batarang. I believe that's the specialized batarang used for attaching trees to super-villains¹.

This is just cruel. Stop manipulating Swamp Thing into doing your dirty work, Batman!

Now that I know the Batmen were all members of the Bat-family, I want to know which jerk was captured by Aquaman. So embarrassing! I bet it was Red Hood. It turns out Batman was in Robin's VW Minivan which is what they all should have guessed because I guessed it but forgot to mention it. Now you're probably thinking, "Oh right! I bet you did! What a liar!" But you should know I'm telling the truth because I could have just as easily (and more believably!) gone back and edited the review by saying what I was going to say before I got distracted! You know what? I'm going to do it anyway! Fuck your sense of reality! Anyway, Superman figures it out and swoops down to threaten Batman. He picks him up and flies him into the sky saying, "All I have to do is barely squeeze. You can't even imagine how little pressure I need to add to my grip before your torso just rips like wet toilet paper. I mean, it's difficult not to explode you! You realize how many mathematical calculations I'm doing every minute just so I don't destroy everything I touch?! Imagine walking around a world built out of tissue paper and trying to navigate it without destroying it completely?! To me, you Earthlings are less substantive than a jelly doughnut!" But Batman is all, "If you squash me, you'll die because I drank a gallon of Kryptonite after getting out of the shower this morning! I'm like a deadly piñata!" Fun Fact #1: To get the "n" with the tilde on it, I looked up "jalapeno" on Google so I could copy and paste the ñ. I don't know why I didn't just look up piñata!" Fun Fact #2: When I just went to past in the ñ in piñata in the previous sentence, instead of typing CTRL-V, I typed CTRL-N and just about shit myself when my entire review disappeared! Luckily I realized pretty quickly that I'd just opened a new browser page. Batman finally decides to explain everything to Superman instead of being killed by him. It's a simple choice, really. But it's not a simple explanation! On no! The explanation is going to go pretty deep into Scott Snyder's previous story arcs to try to explain the most glaring errors in each of them.

This is even more convoluted than I was expecting! Perfect!

Now it's time to speculate on the fifth element! I bet it's Plasticmannium! Or maybe whatever shit the Orb of Ra is made from. Oh! Maybe it's Kryptonite and Batman doesn't realize he's already become the doorway because he drank that gallon of it earlier! Wonder Woman arrives to make Superman doubt Batman is being honest with him. Only Superman would ever believe anything out of Batman's mouth! He's so credulous! Even Ma and Pa Kent were fond of saying, "That boy'll believe a sack of worms if they told him they were a vagina!" That is so a Midwestern saying. Since Batman is obviously lying, Superman takes a drastic measure.

Superman didn't do this to save the world. He just did it because he's fucking sick of Batman.

Before you start sucking your own dicks (both figurative and literal ones so that all genders are included!) everybody at Marvel thinking DC has just flushed itself down the drain by killing the only one of their characters anybody really cares about, it turns out it wasn't actually Batman. Superman just killed Clayface. Although Clayface can't really die, I don't think. He's like an Oompa Loompa: immortal and weary of life. Meanwhile in Antarctica (unless it's actually the Arctic, seeing as how DC has had some poor history with keeping the two places straight), the Legion of Doom's headquarters rises from a lava pit. The Legion of Doom is currently staffed by all of DC's immortal characters. There's Vandal Savage and The Phantom Stranger and the other immortal guy and that other one plus the one that's immortal and also Cain and Abel and Lady Blackhawk and Morgaine le Fey and Shazam's wizard and all the other ones I can't think of. Their plan is to shoot the astral brain of the Anti-Monitor through the Rock of Eternity and into the core of the Multiverse. I don't know if that will save the world or it's just something they want to do for the lulz. Superman and Wonder Woman finally track the real Batman to the tomb of Prince Khufu. Just before they get there, Dream gives Batman a little advice about how to find his way home when this shit all goes wrong. And it all goes wrong pretty quickly. After Batman pulls Baby Darkseid out of his backpack and threatens Superman with it, I think, "Wait. What?" Um, anyway, it's all a trap! Batman knows everything except where to find the tomb of Khufu because he actually entered the tomb of Hath Set! I know, right? What an idiot! Now the Strigydae are about to mantle the fuck out of him! It's not as confusing as I make it sound, I assure you! I mean, sure, the Court of Owls shows up and some black squiggles take out Superman and Wonder Woman after which the Court pours a substance called Batmanium all over Batman so that the doorway can open for Barbatos. But that's not technically confusing! It's just, um, ridiculous! Batman turns into a cosmic doorway through which steop out eight Dark Batmonsters. One is Aquabat. One is Doomsbat. One is Cybat. One is Wonder Bat. One is Flashbat. One is Green Lanterbat. One is Jokerbat. And the last one is probably BarBATos. Unless he's The Phantom Strangebat. In other words, the Earth is fucked. Because if the Justice League can't even beat one Batman, how are they going to beat however many I just said stepped through the gate? What was it? Seven? Eight? So that's the story of Metal! I bet you all wet your pants over it like I did, right? I mean, I think I just wet my pants because I took too long writing this and didn't get up to go to the bathroom. But I probably would have from the excitement and intrigue and Batman's ultimate failure! That part was really great! ________________________________________________________ ¹I didn't just make that up. See whichever stupid issue of All Star Batman had that bit in it.

[multifandom-damnation]

Maybe Laughter is the Best Medicine?

The last thing Colin expected to hear when he woke up in his bed at Wayne Manor was the sound of laughter drifting in from under the door.

He knew he was in the manor but he didn’t remember how he got there. It wasn’t really his bedroom either. It was more one of the many spare bedrooms that littered the home that Damian had convinced his father to let Colin stay in. Bruce agreed although Colin didn’t know if that was before or after Damian made him visit the orphanage where he stayed. He liked to think it was before.

He yawned, sitting up and stretching his arms above his head, closing his eyes. He wet his lips as he put his arms on the bed behind him and looked around the room. His “Abuse” trench coat and hat were on the foot of the bed and he was wearing a pair of Damian’s pyjamas. He knew he had patrol last night and he had gone with Jon, Damian and Billy. He could feel the pain in his back, the tell-tale sign that he had been in his “Abuse” form for more than a few hours. He felt it thrumming through his body, his arms and legs. He needed to find new medicine. Billy had often suggested that laughter was all the medication he needed, which earned him multiple slaps. Damian was quite offended. It hurt when he took a breath so he adjusted his hands and cracked his back. Much better.

He slipped off the edge of the bed and let his toes dangle above the cold floor. He hated the transition of the comforting warmth of the bed to the jarring cold that leaving it provided. Colin reached towards the end of the bed, grabbing his trench coat and laying it on the floor to use as a walkway. He dropped off the bed and made his way over to the dresser, removing a pair of too-big slippers from underneath. They were a present from Billy and they were shaped like monsters with one eye and a mouth on the top that made it look like it was eating your foot.

He had completely forgotten about the laughter he heard before until he came again, drifting under his door like smoke. He froze. Has someone released Joker Gas into the manor? He thought as he held his breath. It was a bad day when you instantly thought of the Joker when you heard laughter and Colin chided himself for being so stupid, but he still bent down on looked under the door for the obnoxious green gas. He sighed when he didn’t see it, but when he heard more laughing, from multiple people this time, he stood up and slammed opened the door and ran toward the sound of the laughing. He could only make out one distinct person and that made him run all the faster.

Damian never laughs.

He pelted down the stairs, feet skidding on the wooden steps as he made his way to the source of the laughter.  It sounded like it was coming from the room Damian used for art. Now Colin could make out the other voices. Billy’s loud guffaws and Jon’s quick giggles drifted from the slightly open door. He didn’t know if anything had happened, but if he lost them he didn’t think his heart would heal. They can’t leave me alone. He would die from a broken heart and he would be all alone again. Colin held his breath and smashed the door open the rest of the way with his shoulder.

Jon was floating and holding his stomach as uncontrollable giggles made it hard for him to breathe. Billy was lying face down on the floor and banging his fists on the ground as his body shook, making walrus sounds when no more laughter came out. Damian was on his desk, charcoal pencil in hand and chuckling loudly with a smile on his face. A genuine one. Colin froze in the doorway.

Damian’s laughing stopped momentarily as he turned to Colin in the doorway and gave him a smile. “Wilkes.”

Even though there was no trace of green gas in the room and nobody seemed worried about their laughing fits, Colin still moved to flip the switch to turn on the ventilation fans and crossed to the other side of the room and opened the window. Jon’s laughter was quieting down and he was starting to lower himself to the floor. Damian’s laughing had almost stopped completely and he gave Colin an inquisitive look. “Colin,” He said, mirth on his lips “What are you doing?”

Colin blinked as he looked around the room and at the other people in it. Billy still on the floor whipping the tears from his eyes, Jon sitting on the corner of Damian’s desk with his legs crossed and arms behind him- the last of his giggles dying out, Damian sitting in his chair with his hands covered in dark charcoal and smiling at Colin.

Slowly realisation dawned on Colin and his cheeks heated up as he blushed. “So,” He said slowly, eyes darting to one person to the nest. “You weren’t infected by laughing gas?”

That caused Jon and Billy to start laughing again. Damian looked at Colin, suddenly deadly serious. “That’s why you looked so worried when you walked in?” He asked and got a nod in return. “And why you turned on the fan and opened the window?” Another nod. “And do you really think I am so stupid as to not immediately get to the cave and get the antidote?” No reply. Then a shake of the head.

Damian stood up and walked over to Colin, stepping over Billy who had once again stopped laughing and had rolled onto his back with his hands on his chest. Damian clamped a hand firmly down on Colin’s shoulder and smiled. “Thank you for being so concerned, but If that was indeed the case I would have had it handled. How are you feeling?”

Colin was acutely aware of 3 pairs of eyes on him which made his palms sweat. He didn’t want to look like the weak one between the Son of Batman, the son of Superman and Shazam himself. “Sore,” He admitted, “I feel like I took a missile to the back then fell off of Wayne enterprises.”

“That may be because you did.”

“Excuse me?” Colin nearly shouted as he looked at Damian, who had now gone and sat back down in his huge leather chair. “Is that why I’m here?”

“Do you remember anything from last night?” Billy asked from the floor.

Colin thought for a moment, but it was all a blur. “Not… really.”

Billy looked at him with an almost sympathetic look and Colin was starting to believe that they weren’t telling him the whole story. “You saved our asses, Colin.”

“Uhhh… I what?”

“Saved our asses!” Jon had pushed off of the desk and was now hovering next to Colin and giving him a big hug, making Colin jump. “You protected us from the bullets and then attacked the tank-”

“Tank?!”

“- And then you broke the kryptonite gun that I couldn’t get to, then you smashed the thing keeping Billy down! They never knew what hit them! One minute you were a small kid in a trench coat then you turned into a giant guy with bronze fists!”

“They’re knuckle dusters, Jon.”

“It doesn’t matter!” He was a little too excited, which kind of made Colin happy. Someone was excited, over something he had done? Superman’s son of all people! “There were explosions and you punched everyone and blew them up! But then they threw you off the building…”

“Yeah, about that,” Colin held his hand over Jon’s mouth to stop him from speaking. “How’d that happen?”

“I’m sorry.”

Everyone looked at Billy, who had now sat up with his back against the wall, his head down and playing with the drawstring of his pants. “I should have caught you. It all happened so quick and by the time I turned into Shazam you were already halfway down and I wouldn’t have been able to catch you and I was already so tired that it took an effort to fly at all and by the time I got there you were already turning back and- “He was rambling now, forcing the words to come out as quickly as possible so everyone knew he didn’t actually mean any harm to come to Colin. He was hardly breathing in between words.

“Billy, it’s ok,” Colin told him. “It wasn’t your fault. I’m just glad no one got hurt.”

Billy looked at Colin and gave him a small smile. As though he was thanking him for not getting angry.

“And he was the one who carried you home.” Jon’s muffled reply came from beneath his hand. Colin removed it.

Billy gave a small chuckle. “I’m just glad you turned back into Colin. I wouldn’t have been able to carry Abuse.”

That reminded him.

“Hey guys,” He said as he looked around the room again, eyes resting longer on Damian. He had his elbows on his desk and was resting his chin on his steepled fingers. “If it wasn’t the Joker Gas… why were you laughing?”

That earned a grin from Damian. “Well,” he said, placing his hands flat on the desk and swivelling his chair from side to side. “When you fell unconscious the others on patrol came to… help.” He said the word distastefully. “Todd came with his usual nonsense, Father, Drake and Grayson came alone. Let’s just say there were… complications.” That brought a cold, almost maniacal smile to Damian’s lips.

“Oh no.” Colin sighed “What did you do?”

“Me?” Damian asked, feigning innocence. “Nothing. Drake merely fell off the building, knocking his head on a metal pole and knocking himself out. Grayson and Todd leapt to catch him with involved Grayson grabbing Drakes legs and Todd grabbing Richards. Father had to try and keep them all up and fight at the same time. It was… quite funny.”

“You said Kori and Roy were there?”

“Yes, Wilkes.”

“Where were they?”

“They were off on the sidelines taking pictures.”

Colin still didn’t know how that was funny. Well, it was pretty funny, but not funny enough to make Damian Wayne laugh. “Dames, I know how much you love seeing your family in pain, but why was that so funny?”

“Because I drew a picture to represent it, Wilkes.”

And Damian lifted a picture off his desk, a charcoal drawing of a building with a big “W” on the top. There were people hanging off the edge, drawn in a chain-like fashion. The Batman was a shadow on the roof, yelling obscenities at his boys. Damian had made drool come out of Tim’s mouth, Dick looked like he was on a trapeze and Jason was just yelling and screaming. There were a few of Batman’s most notorious villains at the bottom, taking pictures. All in all, it was hilarious.

Colin collapsed into laughter, snorts and clapping. His head rocked back and nearly hit the wall, he was convulsing so hard it really wouldn’t have mattered. “Oh,” He wheezed, gasping. “I want a copy, and I want it framed.”

That earned more laughter from the other boys, and they were still like that when Alfred came home. He also thought it was Jokers laughing gas, but a look from Damian had him turning away, whipping his eyes with a hanky.

Maybe laughter is the best medicine for a broken heart?

Hi!

So, I wrote this because I developed Colin feels and my good friend Stell (@whore4batfam )  told me to write Colin being happy, so I did! Thank you, Bec ( @goshparticle ) for beta reading!  I feel like (even though they don’t exist in the same universe) these 4 would be great friends. I can just picture the shit they would do. I hope this was worth it, I wrote this instead of revision for my philosophy exam. (Also, if you are one of the people who liked my other post about writing this one, I hope it was up to your standards!)

Bye!

[superman86to99]

Adventures of Superman #500 (June 1993)

OVERSIZED ANNIVERSARY ISSUE! Featuring the return of Superman! And Superman! And Superman, and also, Superman! But first: The Badass Adventures of Pa Kent in Hell. The last time we saw ol’ Pa, he’d just had a heart attack and seen a ghostly vision of his dead son (that’s Superman, for those joining us), who grabbed his hand and pulled Pa towards him. Now Ghost Superman is like, “Whelp, nice seeing you dad, gotta go.”

Superman is taken “into the light” by a couple of demons disguised as robed Kryptonian ladies. However, Pa refuses to give up on his son and follows them, only to find himself in a battlefield covered with corpses -- those of his Korean War buddies. Pa is (understandably) confused and thinks he’s back in the war, carrying out a mission to rescue some captured “airman”. Private Pa then comes across a farm littered with more dead people, including one that reminds him of his brother Harry... mainly because that’s exactly who it is.

In case you hadn’t noticed, something fishy is going on here. A demonic-looking enemy soldier tries to kick Pa out of wherever the hell this is (get it? hell?), but Pa just punches him into oblivion and soldiers on. Sometimes you just gotta punch some Nazis, folks.

Next up, Pa runs into Lady Blaze, the satanic mistress/recurring Superman baddie. Blaze generously offers to help Pa find his son in exchange for one million do-- I mean, his soul. Pa apparently thinks “eh, I don’t love him that much” and prefers to jump into the void beneath him.

At this point, Pa is saved from pinballing from sad memory to sad memory for all eternity by Kismet, the nice cosmic entity Superman met a while back (“our favourite naked outer space lady in a cape”, as Don Sparrow puts it). With Kismet’s guidance, Pa finally finds Superman, but he’s in the middle of some sort of weird funeral procession carried out by more demons disguised as Kryptonians (and Superman’s old furry friend, the Cleric).

Superman has completely fallen for the show these guys put on, and is prepared to let them take him to the “Kryptonian afterlife”, but Pa eventually breaks the spell with his hollering. More punching ensues!

Superman gets rid of the demons, but he still thinks that Pa should go back to the land of living without him. He’s been gone for too long, and it’s not his place to deny death. Superman’s Kryptonian father Jor-El suddenly shows up to reinforce this notion, telling Superman to join him and his biological mother, Lara, in the afterlife. It is the natural way of things.

Naturally, Pa Kent ain’t having any of that.

Pa practically carries Superman through the portal in front of them. Cut to: Pa waking up in a hospital bed in Smallville, whispering “Clark is back” to a freaked out Ma Kent and Lois Lane.

Suddenly, Superman sightings are reported all over Metropolis -- it’s like he’s in four places at once! Lois refuses to give herself any false hopes, but just to make double-sure her fiancee is still dead, she decides to take a peek inside his tomb. Inspector Henderson opens the casket for her, and it’s... empty?!

TO BE CONTINUED! But first...

Epilogue 1: Two rival gangs are fighting over turf when one pulls out some futuristic super-weapons that literally blow the other guys to pieces. As the cops roll in, out of the rubble emerges a hulking figure saying “DOOMSDAY! GOTTA STOP DOOMSDAY!” Holy shit, it’s Superman! He’s back! Also, black!

Epilogue 2: As an evildoer tries to carjack an innocent citizen, a caped figure flies to the rescue... and blasts the absolute crap out of the would-be thief with some energy blasts, throwing him off the roof of a building. The familiar figure explains that he’s “risen from the dead” and been changed by “the fire and darkness” -- OK, that has to be Superman. There’s no other explanation.

Epilogue 3: There’s an emergency at Project Cadmus, the genetic experimentation facility that recently held Superman’s corpse: some type of secret cloning experiment has broken out before it/he was ready. We see this brash young clone being led to the outside world by the Newsboy Legion, and upon hearing the way they refer to him, he exclaims: “DON’T EVER CALL ME SUPERBOY!” Because he’s actually Superman! Oh my God!

Epilogue 4: A tourist family stops in front of the Daily Planet and reflects solemnly on the plaque marking the spot where Superman died... until a man in blue tights lands from the sky, rips out the plaque, and burns it with his heat vision. We then see that he’s got robot parts all over his body; you know, as if he’d been brought back to life after being pummelled to death by a monster. Whelp, that’s it. That’s Superman, right there.

Character-Watch:

First appearance of these four mysterious Supermen: Black Superman, Blind Superman, Brat Superman, and Beep-Bop-I’m-a-Robot Superman. Or is it?!

Creator-Watch:

This is a suitably epic finale for Jerry Ordway’s original Superman run, which started way back in 1987. Ordway went from artist to co-plotter to writer/artist to just writer, along the way pioneering the house style that all Superman series will use throughout the ‘90s. This is often called the “Byrne” and/or “Jurgens” era, but I’d argue that Ordway was the single most influential creator involved in this period, and although what comes directly after his departure is cool as hell, we’ll definitely miss the heart, humor and realism he brought to even the most obscure background characters.

Speaking of which, this wouldn’t be an Ordway comic without a shit-ton of subplots, so here we go...

Plotline-Watch:

One detail I never caught as a kid: one of the “Superman sightings” at the end of the issue is clearly a drunken Bibbo in a Superman shirt.

The Final Misadventure of Jose Degaldo: He’s been beaten, burned, broken (literally), had buildings dropped on him, and dumped by both Lois Lane and Cat Grant, but Jose “Gangbuster” Delgado has finally had enough -- he’s ditching Metropolis. A regular crime-punching adventure goes wrong when Jose accidentally beats up an undercover cop posing as a drug dealer. Upon learning there’s a warrant for his ass and getting shot by another cop, Jose decides to call it quits and leave town (using the bus ticket Inspector Henderson recently gave him). He’s actually going to Fawcett City along with his creator -- he’ll show up again in Jerry Ordway’s Power of Shazam, but that’s it for Jose in these pages! Goodbye, Suicide Slum’s rose.

Incidentally, Cat Grant is feeling rather down since she split with Jose, and her boss Vinnie Edge uses the opportunity to invite her to dinner. She agrees, even though A) her relationship with Vinnie’s son did not end well, and B) he’s a disgusting perv who just grabbed her butt. Don Sparrow says: “The interplay between Cat Grant and Vinnie Edge hasn’t aged well -- though in some ways it seems timelier than ever.”

The “favor” Vinnie mentions above is not what you might think: he wants Cat to talk to Jimmy Olsen, who has neglected his duties as star of the hit Turtle Boy TV series ever since a certain pal of Jimmy’s was violently killed. Jimmy isn’t in the mood for light-hearted TMNT copyright infringement, though, so the series is currently on reruns.

Those Turtle Boy reruns are watched by the cellmate of Oswald Loomis -- aka Superman’s least intimidating rogue, The Prankster. Loomis, once a children’s entertainer himself, doesn’t appreciate ‘90s television and tries to electrocute said cellmate (who, in my memory, was Vinnie’s son Morgan Edge, making this scene slightly less random).

Pa Kent smashing the ghostly Jor-El with a shovel that materializes out of nowhere is, of course, a shout out to John Byrne’s classic Man of Steel #6, when he does the same thing. I want a full series about Pa dispatching Kryptonian ghosts the same way. His maligned brother Harry was also mentioned in a Byrne comic, World of Smallville #1.

As usual, I’m forgetting or lazily leaving out plenty of important details, so check out Don Sparrow’s section after the jump for way more!

Art-Watch (by @donsparrow​):

Even more than Superman #75, it’s this issue (and the storyline that follows) that most define this, my most beloved era of Superman comics for me.  Perhaps it’s because I was actually opposed to Superman’s death, rather than excited about it, whereas with this issue, I was only completely excited, and totally curious about how they’d bring Superman back.

Still more nerdy background:  as we’ve mentioned in previous blogposts, I live in the same city as Super-teamster Tom Grummett, so the fact that he drew this comic was big, big deal in my hometown.  Our local comic store (which sat below Tom Grummett’s art studio upstairs) had Tom in on the day it was released to sign copies, so it was a major event.  Though I was only a lad of 13 at the time, both that day, and in the years since, I bought enough copies of Adventures of Superman #500 to insulate my house with them (and so did the rest of the world, making the resale value not quite what Superman #75 was). How big of a deal was Superman’s return in my hometown?  Well, we made the evening news…

The direct market edition cover features a stunner of a painting by the great Jerry Ordway, of a ghostly Superman reaching out to Pa Kent from beyond the void.  It was billed as being a removable translucent screen, but I don’t know anyone who was successfully able to remove the vellum without ruining their cover, but the softening of the add-on is very effective.  The newsstand edition (remember when comics could be purchased on newsstands?) has a decidedly story-driven cover, which must have perplexed the many non-regular Superman readers who came out in droves for this big issue.  It features Superman and Pa Kent floating over a background of enemies (including the demonic Blaze, which, to the uninitiated, must have been pretty spooky) with Pa Kent inexplicably in a Challengers of the Unknown looking jumpsuit.   Confusion aside, it’s still a great cover, and a nice hint at all the zip-a-tone goodness we’ll find inside.

Throughout the issue, the real world and the afterlife are given very distinct visual styles, with the ‘real’ world being inked and coloured normally, and the spirit world with lots of zip-a-tone shadows and gleaming bright colours.  It’s such an effective way to delineate the storylines, and man, I love how the extra shading looks on the afterlife pages.  It’ll be hard to single out only a few pages, because, honestly, this is one of the best drawn comics of the era.    

In the first few pages, I was struck that, despite seeing Superman in full uniform at the end of Superman #77, the Superman Jonathan Kent sees on the ‘other’ side is Clark Kent, which is a telling note about how he sees his identity.  The image of Pa stripping away his Clark garb is a great one, with the mist and swirling clouds establishing we are indeed, not in Kansas anymore.

The direct market edition also has some differences within the book, in addition to the difference in cover—it has a number of full page splashes inserted into the storyline, which are missing from the newsstand edition, and each one is a stunner.  The first one is Gangbuster descending a fire escape on page 6, having ignored the warnings he got from Inspector Henderson in the Superman specials that preceded this issue. 

The most interesting thing about these splashes, aside from how just about every one of them would have made for some killer poster art, is how seamlessly Jerry Ordway matches the scripts.  Many of the splashes contain dialogue, but if those sentences are removed (as they are in the newsstand edition) the story still makes sense, which must have been a real challenge. [Max: Oddly enough, the one flaw I’ve found in my giant Death and Return of Superman omnibus so far is that some of the dialogue from these pages is duplicated, presumably from combining pages from both editions.]

Page 9 features another great Gangbuster image, and the fight choreography in the pages that follow has a real sense of place and pace.

As we return to Pa Kent’s near death experience, the visuals go a good job of selling the story’s dreamlike conceit—“reality” is pretty flexible where he is, so as Jonathan spends time there, his thoughts get muddled in with memory, and he can lose his purpose.  It really feels like a dream in that way. Also, having heard about Jonathan’s brother previously, I thought he’d look a lot worse. There’s a strange cutaway to the Prankster in these pages, and while it’s a funny little scene, it has no bearing on the story, and Prankster doesn’t pop up again in these pages for a very long time---if memory serves, until the ill-fitting reboot of his look some 80 issues later. [Max: We saw him during the Dominus storyline, but I’m not sure if that counts.]

I also love how Grummett seems to draw Prankster as looking like UK comedian Terry Thomas, which is a great fit.  It’s always tricky to translate such goofy-looking characters into real people, and here, perhaps for the first time, Prankster looks like a human being and not a doughier Alfred E Neuman.  (Do prisoners really get their own portable TVs? Surely this scene demonstrates the danger of such a luxury!)

The scenes of Pa Kent falling into a pit and being pulled out by Blaze are chilling, but, like the rest of the issue, doesn’t it just make you fall in love with tough, no nonsense Jonathan Kent?  It’s a mini-Godwatch when he pulls a Luke Skywalker and choose oblivion over joining forces with Blaze. (Extra points for Jonathan asking the question on the minds of a lot of Superman readers—is Blaze the devil or what?)

Next up is an appearance by what would seem to be Blaze’s opposite number, Kismet, our favourite naked outer space lady in a cape.  Both sides of the two-page splash are pretty stunning here. 

The ersatz Kryptonian funeral is pretty interesting too.  Here, Grummett walks a fine line, having the Kryptonian stuff accurate enough that we know what it’s supposed to be, but just off enough that we know something strange is going on.

Once Clark figures out that the wraiths mean him harm (has there ever been a nice wraith?) it’s so, so great to see him back in action after all these months without him.  Major kudos to the colourist, here especially, but throughout the book, for the unique colours which look great here on Superman’s uniform.  Plus, I always like the times when Superman loses his cape.

The visual effect of the portal back to reality is just amazing, and from their perspective, probably pretty accurate. Next to the blinding light of the afterlife, earthly life would probably seem pretty dark. That last image from the direct edition, of Superman flying through the void with Pa Kent is just such a stunner. And from a story standpoint, this is just so definitive of the Super-team.  That a story about bringing back Superman is told in the most personal, meaningful way, with a chubby, balding old farmer as more or less the lead character.  It’s a total rejection of the grit teeth and substance-less Image comics trend of the era in its’ wholesomeness.  And I love this is how they chose to bring him back.  My very favourite detail, that I came back to again and again was that the heartbeat that returns to Pa Kent’s monitor goes across his panel, into the panel of Superman’s tomb.  So subtle, and so, so awesome.

The four page previews kicking off the Reign storyline are almost an issue unto themselves, but I love how all the eye-witness accounts from page 45 are later seen within issues, and give clues to very different Supermen.

If you’ll allow me just a little more nerdiness, DC sent comic shops some previews of this issue to create excitement, and these pages included scans of the end section with the new Supermen.  The only catch was, on these previews the figures were totally whited out, so you couldn’t see what he looked like.  So having read those short previews, I thought they were all referring to ONE new Superman, who I assumed had been changed by his experience with Doomsday.  It wasn’t until I got the issue home that I realized they were launching four different storylines.

The art on these is pretty interesting.  This is really the point where Jon Bogdanove shifts into a really loose, less constrained style, which honestly works quite well for the larger than life character of John Henry Irons. And that first look at him—you can definitely see why they thought that Shaquille O’Neal would work for this character.

Next is a spooky look at the Last Son of Krypton, who I 100% believed was the real Superman, mainly because of his appearance.  The panel of Superman lowering to finish off the thug is a great, eerie look, and I dig the Gandalf the White style dialogue here, too.

I love everything about the “Metropolis Kid” section, because it’s all built-in, and even gives us hints of this character’s “tactile telekinesis” with the grating not being damaged from his blow.  Maybe it’s just nostalgia, but man, it’s a great costume too.

Lastly, the Man of Tomorrow segment, which is such great, great storytelling, as, until the very last second, you don’t realize anything is amiss, in spite of the facial expressions of the tourists. [Max: This guy freaked me out even before I saw his full face, and I just realized why: the panel of him turning to face the family reminds me the end of this traumatizing BTAS episode.]

STRAY OBSERVATIONS:

It’s interesting to me that this issue establishes that Jonathan Kent fought in the Korean conflict, and not, as was established in the World of Smallville mini-series, World War II. It’s amazing that enough time had passed by this point, that they had to move the timeline up.  I suppose if Pa Kent were still in modern stories, he’d have been a Vietnam veteran by now.  I’ll admit being surprised watching Smallville that Jonathan Kent had never been in any war—I thought for sure they’d have made him a Gulf War veteran or something.

Even completely in shock and grief and confusion, Lois Lane really rocks those stretchpants. 

GODWATCH: This is the big one, where, as hinted to in past issues, the belief system that the Kents raised Clark within is made explicit.  First on page 22, in a moment of despair, Lois admits she wishes her faith were stronger, and Martha relates that their beliefs included Heaven, and that Clark himself, to her knowledge, subscribed to those beliefs. Finally, when Pa stabilizes, Ma Kent thanks the Lord, on page 42. [Max: I also find Pa’s theory that Clark only ended up in this limbo because he’d been raised as a mortal pretty interesting.]

“Sure—have some of my hootch, why don’tcha?” A very funny exchange. [Max: I forgot to mention High Pocket’s essential contribution to this issue, when he fishes Jose out of the river, gives him booze, and tries to recruit him for some larceny! Shame on me.]