#high pockets and lamar

[star1ight0]

Tenya Iida x Reader "Hi".. "High."

I have unhealthy coping mechanisms and crave comfort. So here we are. Yet again. As always requests are open and be mindful and respectful when making them

TW: CBD, insomnia, prescription meds

Help is always available call 988 if you are in an immediate crisis. You are not alone and there are people who care.

Your quirk allows you to analyze any given situation finding the most likely outcome along with alternatives of how it could play out, it gets harder to control the longer it's used, longer usage makes it inaccurate. Also make you glow, like a colored aura off of you.

Tenya being both your class rep and your boyfriend was a strange combination at times. He was never one to let you off the hook just because you were his partner but every so often so long as it wasn't that big of a deal he'd left a few things slide so long as it didn't affect you school work. His kindness had its limits and the line became ever so more clear when you began sleeping through classes and skipping over training sessions. He expressed his worries which you quickly brushed off.

Walking over your lock box you grabbed your medicine and weed off your desk and putting your phone on DND and into your pocket, you made your way to the rooftop of the dorms. You could feel the overwhelmingness of the thoughts you pushed away, pull their way to the front of your mind. You could feel your body glow and your head spin.

Placing a pill in your mouth swallowing it followed by an inhale of your pen. You felt the glow lighten and your chest fell into a more steady rhythm. You stayed outside for a few hours a mix of breathing exercises and weed along with long with star gazing. Just as almost all of the worry left the glow of your quirk fading the door opened. You shot up looking behind you exhaling and couching, it was Tenya.

"What are you doing." He said walking towards you trying to take your lifeline away. "Back off " you spat pulling your arm away. You felt your mind race and breathing quicken. You placed the pen between your lips inhaling, before feeling a hand over your mouth. "Tenya please stop" you said, your voice small. You felt your quirk take hold making your head pound with thoughts. "Talk to me love, what's going on? I- i know I might not be the ideal person but I'm still your boyfriend"

He placed himself behind you on the rooftop pulling you onto him. "Please love, talk to me" you felt all the worry in his voice and it only made your mind race more. You felt your breathing become erratic and your chest felt heavy. "Breathe, in.. hold.. out" he must have spent 20 minutes guiding your breathing before you felt your eyes got heavy and the world around you darkened. "Don't let go"

When you woke up you were in your dorm Tenya next to you still asleep. The memories of the previous night came back and you felt your cheeks get warm. You snuggled your way into his arms putting your face in his chest as he slowly woke up wrapping his arms around you. "talk to me, please"

And for some reason that was your breaking point. It sent into a sobbing mess confiding in him about everything, and how the only thing that seemed to help calm your mind wasn't just your medicine anymore. He sat and listened the whole time keeping his gaze on you even as yours fell, trying to avoid his eyes. Still a sobbing shaking mess your body started to glow and your chest tightened once more. This time Tenya cupped your face in his hands kissing your forehead. After a few minutes he managed to calm you down the glow of your quirk slowly fading. "Talk to me when things get like this, please. You're never a bother to me my love" he said his voice was soft and full of care and love. He convinced you to give up what little weed you had left under the condition you went to your doctor for a different prescription.

This was short I'm lazy and overwhelmed so sorry

[nokkihy]

DISENGAGED

WARNINGS; angst, cussing, emotional unavailable (correct me if im wrong pls i cant rly tell thank you 🙏🏾) miles, miles and reader can drive!!!

PAIRINGS; miles42 x black!fem reader

AUTHORS NOTE; first time writing angst in a while 🤞🏾

miles has had a hard time expressing his feelings to you since you could remember. you were best friends before dating, and you still couldn’t get miles to crack at all. not one word, not one reaction to your words. you understood, it was too early in your relationship. you and miles had been dating for nearly 2 years, 7 years as friends.

‘its just too early.’ you would tell yourself everytime miles would avoid talking to you about his feelings. you were just barely scraping by in your relationship now, and on top of that miles had prowler business so he would always be missing out on dates or not texting you back for hours on end.

y/n

miles, wya?

you standing outside the arcade, the arcade the two of you would go to as kid and have the time of your life. you nervously tapped your foot on the pavement infront of the building and moved your hair as it blew in your face.

…

your heart picks up as you see the three grey bubbles appear on your screen, waiting for miles messages.

..nothing. the bubbles disappeared, and you sigh, shaking your head and walking to your car. you open the door and just sit in the drivers seat, laying your head on the steering wheel. a high pitched ding comes from your phone a few minutes later and you check it, seeing miles’ contact name come up.

miles 🧍🏽‍♀️💜

wonmakeitsrry

read at 8:59

you felt like screaming as you read the message. this is the 3rd time he’s cancelled on you last minute this week, and this was a date he planned. you just read the text over and over again, getting even more frustrated by the rushed message typed all in one word and a half assed apology. fucking unbelievable.

you toss your phone on the passenger seat and buckle up, pulling out of the parking lot and driving back to your house, not bothered to even play music because of your bad mood.

when you pull up to the curb you park and get all of your things, getting out of the car and locking the door. you get your keys out of your pocket and unlock the door, taking your shoes off and walking into your room, not wanting to bother your parents or siblings with your early arrival.

you’re slumped on your bed, reading back over all of your text messages of this past week with all of the canceled dates and dry text messages from miles.

2 days ago

y/n

you still coming to the bowling alley? i already got the food ordered and your shoes 😋

miles 🧍🏽‍♀️💜

prowler buisness. wont be there.

y/n

oh, ok

read

4 days ago

miles 🧍🏽‍♀️💜

wont make it to dinner.

read

you groan, sick of seeing how miles would ditch you last minute for his prowler business or would just cancel for no reason. you remember for dinner you got all dressed up, made reservations for a restaurant thats hard to get into, wearing a purple because you know it was his favorite color, just for him to text you that he wasn’t coming as you pulled into the parking lot.

‘hes just busy. it’s fine.’ you told yourself as you pull out of the parking lot again, driving back home without thinking anything of it.

you were sick of it. sick of him ditching you, apologizing, and doing the same thing over again. you closed your phone and got up, putting on pajamas and a bonnet, heading to sleep.

an hour later, you were awakened by a knocking on your window. who the hell was at your window at 10pm? you roll over to face it, seeing none other than your boyfriend miles, wearing pajama pants and the black brooklyn hoodie you got him for his birthday as he looked at your from his spot out the window.

“what are you doing here?” miles ignores your question and walks through your window when you open it, sitting on your bed.

“hello? are you gonna answer or just ignore me after letting yourself into my house?” you ask, a hint of attitude in your voice that miles picks up, looking you up and down.

“watch that attitude f’me, ma.” he says, finally making eye contact with you and giving you a challenging look.

“so thats the first thing you wanna say to me after canceling for the 3rd time this week? nah, dont come into my house with that shit, miles.” you spat back, holding back all the frustration that you have pent up so you dont lash out on miles. he sighs, looking over to the side and standing up.

“we’ve talked about this already and i’ve apologized, can we just forget it?” he takes your hands in his and looking into your eyes. you scoff, shaking your head and taking your hands away from miles’.

“’m not just gonna forget about this shit, miles! you cant just expect me to keep coming back when you’re about you shutting me out and blowing me off all the time. im trying really hard to make this work and its like you dont care. please, miles. just let me it.” you’re basically on the verge of begging as you finish talking, not able to even make eye contact with miles. because if you do, you know you’ll end up sobbing in his arms.

“y/n, i just.. can’t. i can’t.” he says, looking down at the floor and blinking, so many thoughts running through his head. he doesn’t wanna lose you. he knows he just cant quit being the prowler, but he knows that if he keeps doing it, he’s gonna lose you.

“if you can’t tell me, im gone miles. i can’t do this anymore.” your voice is breaking up, tears making their way up to make your eyes glossy. you dont wanna do it. you dont wanna lose him; but you know that this whole relationship is just you being hurt over and over again by miles. he doesn’t mean do it, he loves you so much, too much.

its good for the both of you.

“y/n, please. i can’t lose you like this.” he looks up at you, taking a small step towards you in attempt to give you a hug. you step back and his heart shatters into pieces.

“im sorry..” you mutter, tears dropping trom your eyes when you glance up at miles and look at his broken expression as he goes to your window. you look away from him, closing your eyes in effort to stop the tears. but they keep coming and coming. the sound of rushed walking is heard and silence follows afterwards.

you look back over to the window, seeing miles is gone. you close the window, sitting down on your bed and wiping the tears falling from your face. a text dings from your phone and you check it, seeing miles contact name for the second time tonight.

miles 🧍🏽‍♀️💜

im sorry, y/n. im so sorry.

read at 10:29

[last-late-braker]

Hard times like, yah! Bad trips like, yah!

Nazareth, I’m fucked up Homie, you fucked up

What you want you, a house? You, a car? 40 acres and a mule? A piano, a guitar?

Thinkin’ of my partner put the candy, paint it on the regal Diggin’ in my pocket ain’t a profit, big enough to feed you

Everyday my logic, get another dollar just to keep you In the presence of your chico ah!

I keep my head up high I cross my heart and hope to die

Lovin’ me is complicated

Too afraid of a lot of changes

I’m alright and you’re a favorite

Dark nights in my prayers

But if God got us then we gon’ be alright

Do you hear me, do you feel me? We gon’ be alright.

Alright - Kendrick Lamar

[jetstarred]

what i listened to in june 2024!

total albums: 6 top 3 albums: damn. (kendrick lamar), souvlaki (slowdive), e (ecco2k) click read more to see full reviews :D

Damn. - Kendrick Lamar (2017)

Fav song: Love.

Immediately I love how this album is a different sound from TPAB, including a clip of a reaction to a lyric from Alright at the end of BLOOD. It’s a great introduction to the album. After listening to the album in full, I think it’s a great follow up to TPAB. Kenrick says his thoughts on the reaction to that album, reflecting on how he tried bringing awareness to black people’s struggles and got labeled as someone who was making the problems worse. So he talks about his own experiences more on this album, basically saying “this is my real life, not some story demonizing black people”. It’s insane to me that this album won a Pulitzer prize, and it fully deserves it. The lyricism is on another level, taking multiple listens to fully understand. Beyond just the lyrics, the music on this album is a really beautiful melding of the sound of GKMC and TPAB. There’s a really unique atmosphere as well that adds to the entire album. The features are used perfectly, and I like the sort of cyclical nature of the album, with the album ending where it starts. I feel like I’m running out of new ways to compliment Kendrick because every album of his I listen to just knocks it out of the park.

Ranking: 9/10

New Superheroes & Demos - You Love Her (2015)

Fav song: 2007

This album is a great mid-2010s digital hardcore album. It’s unique from other digital hardcore music I’ve heard in a way that’s very fun. It has strong cyberpunk vibes, aided by the female vocals that make me think of Ana de Armas’ character in Blade 2049. You Love Her’s production is excellent, always staying in the same pocket that gives me those strong cyberpunk vibes. I also thoroughly enjoy the mix of completely instrumental tracks and tracks with vocals that are either mixed in or provided by a vocalist. All the vocals are very different from each other, giving the vibe of this being a soundtrack for a piece of media. I’d love a game or movie scored by You Love Her, and I’m very excited to check the rest of his stuff out.

Rating: 8/10

Hex Dealer - Lip Critic (2024)

Fav song: Bork Pelly

This is a really good breakbeat album that has punk and club influences. This album reminds me a bit of The Garden and Lustsickpuppy. I honestly don’t have much to say because all the songs stayed in a very similar sound, with some sounding more electronic than others. I do like the main vocalists’ voice, it’s kinda unique for this type of music. Easily music I can just throw on and jam to.

Rating: 7/10

Bejible - Bejalvin (2023)

Fav song: Box Cutter Vasectomy

This album is like if you turned Queef Jerky up to 11. It’s very heavy electronic music with some very good rapping that also gets pretty silly. This is the type of music that is perfect for djing at a rave and I’d love to see it live (spoiler alert: I did).  Overall, two thumbs up from me.

Rating: 7/10

E - Ecco2k (2019)

Fav song: Time

This album is essentially my introduction to drain as a genre. I’m obsessed with the ethereal, dreamy, and airy vibe of this album. It feels like floating through the clouds. And not just white fluffy clouds, but grayer, storm clouds too. The electronic moments added a very welcome variety to the sound of the album, keeping it from sounding to monotonous. Ecco’s voice is perfect for the mood of the album, just high enough to fit with the airy nature, and low enough to be distinct from the music. The choral backing vocals help really elevate the music. Also, I really like the inclusion of a short, spoken voice track not quite in the middle of the album. It makes the structure of the album more interesting. Overall, I really liked this album! The only complaint that I have is that I wish it was longer (it’s only 30 minutes). But I’m excited to listen to more of Ecco’s music and drain gang in general.

Rating: 8/10

Souvlaki - Slowdive (1992)

Fav song: When The Sun Hits

I’m preaching to the choir when I say this is such a good album and a quintessential shoegaze album, but that's because it's true! It’s perfectly atmospheric and hazy, feeling like sunlight filtering through a fall morning fog. The vocals are so dreamy and have a yearning quality to them that's almost romantic. I’m sure this album sounds fantastic on vinyl, and I’d love to own it someday. I will be listening to this again multiple times throughout the year.

Rating: 9/10

[captainofthedauntless]

Got tagged by the ever-talented @yorshie to share a song for every letter in my URL!

I say this with every ounce of love in my heart. Looks at length of URL. Looks at you. You had a laugh about this one, didn't you?

(Thank you SM for thinking of me! <3 Hope you're well :] )

(Now in playlist form.)

C - Can I Kick It? by A Tribe Called Quest A - Anyone Else by PVRIS P - Picture You by Chappell Roan T - Take What You Want by ONE OK ROCK (feat. 5 Seconds of Summer) A - Alien by Britney Spears I - I'm Afraid of Americans by David Bowie N - Neonhead by Starcadian O - Ok by Beastie Boys F - Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance T - This Is The Best by Ubiquitous Synergy Seeker H - Hand in My Pocket by Alanis Morissette E - Espresso by Sabrina Carpenter D - Danger! High Voltage - Soulchild Radio Mix by Electric Six A - Alkaline by Sleep Token U - United In Grief by Kendrick Lamar N - New Year's Day by Taylor Swift T - Technologic by Daft Punk L - Laser Beam by Jamar Equality, Jaz Infinite, and 9oneyth E - Everlong by Foo Fighters S - Skin by Rag'n'Bone Man S - Skyfall by Adele

Just tagging @xtreklx, but if anyone else wants to hop in, I totally tagged you too! :]

[ilovejoyjessie]

Behind the Concept - Location: Over the course of the year, before things got a little crazy, I asked myself what I could do to level up my visual art projects. Knowing how much I feel that the right look/location for a shoot can make a big difference in how it hits upon delivery, I wanted to push myself to make my concepts even more realistic by figuring out real places I could put them as often as I could. Everyone loves a good studio shoot, but there’s something about seeing a concept exactly where you’d expect it to be. That familiarity with the setting can go a long way into making the photo feel like a surreal snapshot from a real life situation that you’re seeing in real time.

.

I looked up boxing gyms around town and ended up finding the Seattle Boxing Gym. I considered reaching out, but wasn’t sure if I’d be able to get it or they’d be interested in letting me shoot there. But I did have it in my back pocket, so when I reached out to photographer Lamar G, I asked him if he thought the shoot would look good as a studio shoot or at an actual boxing ring. (I still needed a boost of confidence and) I did still think the shoot would look cool as stills in a room, but that the boxing ring would bring a special touch to it. He said either would work, but if we could get an actual ring, the photos might really pop.

.

So I took a chance, reached out to the gym and - wouldn’t you know it - they were into it. We went there, they had an instructor hang around to oversee us shooting and he even gave me some tips on how to make sure I looked as realistic of a boxer as possible with my stances and throws. Bless him 🙏 Being in an actual ring, I could believably tell the story of a fighter training, in progress, and feeling the highs and lows of an intense brawl. The audience wouldn’t have to feel in the pieces, even if I could’ve still emoted and styled in a studio. Instead, they’d have all the pieces and real-life elements around them to really frame the concept and ground the story in reality. Plus, I mean, how badass and professional is it to use an actual location just for your art? *casual polo pop* It was a trip to send an email that said, “I and a fellow art festival featured photographer would be honored to use your space.” #flex

.

As with a lot of things, sometimes it’s just that extra oomph and effort that can take a great project into a memorable project. Even if it was a lot to plan, I’m definitely proud of how I put my creative direction hat on to elevate this shoot and now have more confidence in my ideas and hope to continue pushing my creativity/work as I keep creating. The results speak for themselves. Thank you, SBG! 

[lighthousenewsnetwork]

Forget guaranteed money, forget signing bonuses, forget the usual trappings of a record-breaking NFL contract. Lamar Jackson, the Baltimore Ravens' dual-threat quarterback, has secured a deal for the ages, one that transcends mere financial gain and enters the realm of pure, unadulterated Ravens fandom. Yes, you read that right. In a move that has analysts scratching their heads and Ravens fans stocking up on purple Gatorade, Jackson has signed a five-year contract with a unique set of stipulations. Gone are the days of haggling over guaranteed dollars; instead, Jackson will receive a lifetime supply of Ravens merchandise. We're talking jerseys, hats, T-shirts, socks – the whole Ravens apparel shebang, delivered straight to his doorstep like a never-ending purple fruit basket. But wait, there's more! To sweeten the deal (or perhaps sour it, depending on your perspective), the contract also includes a lifetime ban on running the football. Apparently, the Ravens, tired of replacing chewed-up turf after Jackson's patented Lamar Leaps, have opted for a more "pocket-passing friendly" approach. "We believe Lamar can be a truly elite passer," gushed Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti at a press conference held inside a giant Ravens-themed bouncy castle. "With a lifetime supply of our high-quality jerseys to keep him comfortable, there's no reason he can't become the next… well, not exactly Joe Flacco, but someone who throws the ball a decent amount." Jackson, sporting a brand new Ravens-themed bathrobe (presumably part of his first shipment), seemed cautiously optimistic about the deal. "Yeah, the running back thing is a little weird," he admitted, nervously adjusting a Ravens-logo cufflink. "But hey, free jerseys for life? Who am I to argue? Plus, I can finally wear those sweet Ray Lewis throwback jerseys without looking like a fashion faux pas." Of course, experts are already questioning the wisdom of this unorthodox pact. "This contract makes the Michael Vick dogfighting scandal look like a minor parking violation," said renowned sports psychologist Dr. Shrink McRaven. "Banning Lamar from running is like taking away Picasso's paintbrush. It's a blatant disregard for the natural order of things." But Ravens fans, ever the loyal bunch, are ecstatic. "Free jerseys? That's basically an extra paycheck every year!" exclaimed season ticket holder Phil "Purple Rain" Johnson, already sporting his third Ravens jersey of the day. "Besides, Lamar throws a pretty good spiral when he's not busy outrunning linebackers. This is a win-win for everyone… except maybe the opposing defense." So, what does the future hold for Lamar Jackson? Will he become a prolific passer under the watchful eye of the Ravens' offensive coordinator (whoever that is these days)? Or will he spend his days drowning in a sea of purple apparel, yearning for the sweet release of a well-timed scramble? Only time will tell. But one thing's for sure: this contract is a testament to the enduring power of brand loyalty, even when it comes at the expense of a truly electrifying running game. Now, if you'll excuse us, we have a sudden urge to purchase a Lamar Jackson Ravens-themed flamethrower. Just in case. #BaltimoreRavens #Contract #Humor #LamarJackson #nfl #Satire

[progiftreview]

Lamar Jackson Baltimore Ravens 8 Legend 3D Hoodie

The Lamar Jackson Baltimore Ravens 8 Legend 3D Hoodie is a remarkable piece of clothing that is suitable for both men and women. It is not only a stylish attire but also a great gift for any football fan or admirer of Lamar Jackson's game. With its unique design and high-quality material, this hoodie has become a must-have for many individuals. One of the most impressive features of this hoodie is the 3D design of Lamar Jackson. The image is incredibly detailed and realistic, capturing the essence of the player's strong and dominant presence on the field. It is as if Jackson himself is right there with you, inspiring you with his agility and incredible skills. The attention to detail in the graphics is truly remarkable, making this hoodie stand out from others in the market. Not only is this hoodie visually appealing, but it also offers exceptional comfort. Made from a blend of cotton and polyester, it feels soft against the skin and is perfect for everyday wear. The fabric is also durable and long-lasting, ensuring that you can enjoy this hoodie for years to come. The hood and front pocket add an extra layer of warmth, making it perfect for those chilly game nights or winter days. Aside from its aesthetic appeal and comfort, this hoodie is an excellent gift choice for any football enthusiast. Whether they are a fan of the Baltimore Ravens or just admire Lamar Jackson's skills, this hoodie allows them to express their passion for the game. It is a thoughtful present that shows you understand their interests and appreciate their love for football. Moreover, this hoodie is versatile and can be worn on various occasions. It is not limited to game nights or outdoor activities but can also be paired with jeans or leggings for a casual and trendy look. The unisex design ensures that it is suitable for both men and women, making it a truly inclusive gift option. In conclusion, the Lamar Jackson Baltimore Ravens 8 Legend 3D Hoodie is a fantastic clothing item that appeals to both men and women. Its unique 3D design and high-quality material make it stand out from other hoodies in the market. Whether you are a fan of Lamar Jackson's game or know someone who is, this hoodie is an ideal gift for expressing your admiration and appreciation. Its versatility and comfort make it a wonderful addition to any wardrobe, allowing the wearer to showcase their love for football in style.

Get it here : Lamar Jackson Baltimore Ravens 8 Legend 3D Hoodie

Home Page : tshirtslowprice.com

[ccrissproductions]

We Are Our Own Muse: Prologue

I realized I wrote a prologue to this and forgot all about it.

Furthermore, I was going to mash this up with some Kendrick Lamar shit buuuut that's way too much plot and how I was going about it would not have made sense.

Prologue

"Ayo!"

I walked out on stage as I yelled into the microphone in my hand. The boys just played half their set and were now on a brief intermission. There was usually banter between Pete and Patrick, before Patrick played piano solo. This time, they tried something different.

"How y'all feelin'?!"

I walked down the extended aisle of the stage as the audience shouted back at me.

"Y'all doin' alright?!"

The crowd responded loudly.

"Who wants to play a game?!"

I smiled back at the crowd as they cheered harder.

"This right here is my favorite game to play during my concerts!"

Screams of excitement burst through the audience. I guess those videos really did go viral.

"Oh, y'all know it?!"

They cheered in affirmation.

"Rule's simple: finish the lyrics and don't stop singing 'til I say so!

"If you mess up, you lose!

"I know y'all drunk, high, and other! But can y'all do that?!" 

Another large cheer of affirmation that earned them a wide grin from me. 

"Yeah?! Well let's get to it!

"We got three rounds! Who's first?!"

I stood on the edge of the stage, getting a closer look into the audience. Among the outstretched hands and hopeful faces, one guy caught my attention. 

Older guy, middle aged, balding, with glasses; to be honest, dude was built like a history teacher. 

"You?" I nodded my head and told the security guard right there to help him up on stage. 

"A'ight, my man, what's your name?" I stepped back, dude was tall. 

I pointed the mic at him.

"Wilburt."

I put my fist to my mouth and leaned over, trying and failing to hide my laughter from the audience. A smile grew on his face.

The audience laughed with me.

"I'm sorry-- I'm sorry, but, Wil-burt!"

He nodded and chuckled.

"Wilburt!" I shouted comically. 

More laughter from the crowd, Wilburt, and this time, the band in the back. 

"You ready to play--- Wilburt?!"

He nodded and said, "yeah!"

"Yea-- you sure?!

"You seem like you've been a fan for years so Imma go a little hard on you!"

"Let's go!" Wilburt was ready. I started to sing.

"We're going down, down in an earlier round--

"and sugar, we're going down swingin'"

I hold the mic to him to finish the chorus.

"--and ne-eh dee weeeh wid da bummen," He tried to hum the lyrics before throwing his hands in his face and laughing.

"Nope!" I laughed.

"Sorry Wilburt!"

The security guard helped him back off the stage.

"Who has it?!" I said, looking into the crowd. "I'll know if you look it up too!"

There were five girls in the front row waving at me. I pointed at every one of them until I got to the last person. 

"Nope, not you; not you; not you; YOU!"

A slender girl with shoulder-length, vibrant green hair and an eyebrow piercing.

"What's your name?"

I pointed the mic at her.

"Marley!"

"Okay, Marley, you got it!?"

"Yep!"

"Alright! Let's see!" 

I started singing, "We're going down, down in an earlier round--

"and sugar, we're going down swingin'"

I pointed the mic towards her so she could finish the lyric.

"I'll be your number one with the bullet! 

"A loaded God complex cock it and pull it!"

"YES!" I jumped, sometimes I let the excitement get to me.

The crowd cheered Marley on.

I pulled five hundred bucks out my pocket, gasps of awe made its way through the crowd. 

I looked at the audience. 

"What? You thought this game was prize-less?" I grinned.

"Round two! Who's next?!"

A cute Asian boy caught my attention, and I told security to get him on stage.

"What's your name?"

"Bobby!"

"Okay, Bobby, you ready?!"

"Yea!"

The crowd cheered for him, and I started singing.

"She says she's no good

"With words, but I'm worse

"Barely stuttered out a joke of a romantic

"Stuck to my tongue--"

I pointed the mic at him.

"Weighed down with words too

"Overdramatic

"Tonight, it's "it can't get much worse"

"Versus "No one should ever feel like...""

"Keep going," I told him, mic still pointed at him.

"I'm two quarters and a heart down

"And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds

"These words are all I have so I write them

"So you need them just to get by"

I harmonized the infamous guitar riff and pointed the mic into the crowd.

The audience did not fail.

"Dance, dance, we're falling apart to half-time!

"Dance, dance, and these are the lives you love to lead!

"Dance, this is the way they'd love!

"If they knew how misery loved me!!"

The crowd finished. 

I cracked a wide smile and handed him his prize. 

As security helped Bobby down, I shouted to the crowd:

"A'ight! Last round, who wanna give it a shot?!"

I looked into the audience and there was a young girl with a group of other girls pointing at her.

"Her! Her! Her!"

"She's their biggest fan!!"

"She knows all their songs!!!"

They all shouted, as said girl hid her face in her hands. 

I signaled her to the security guard. 

Once on stage, she stood with one hand covering her face. 

Aww, she's a shy one.

"What's your name?" I asked, a bit more calmly with a soft smile.

"Lydia," she replied quietly in the mic. 

"You ready, Lydia?"

She whined, but nodded, nonetheless. 

"This is an easy one: 

"I'm in a winter mood, dreamin' of spring now

"Burnin' myself down, burnin' myself down, burnin'

"I feel like something that's been stretched out over and over again

"Until I'm creased, and I'm about to break down the middle

"Split me right down the middle, right, right down the middle 

"Yeah."

I gave her the mic. She started to sing, and I was shocked with what I heard.

"The stars are the same as ever, but I don't have the guts to keep it together

"Stuck in the permafrost, stuck in the permafrost

"Life is just a game, maybe

"I'm stuck in a lonely loop, my baby

Her voice was gold. It's always the quiet ones with the biggest voices. I signaled to the guys to start playing and they did not disappoint.

"So much for stardust

"We thought we had it all, thought we had it all

"Thought wе had it all, thought we had it all, thought we had it ah - all

"So much for stardust

"We thought wе had it all, thought we had it all

"Thought we had it all, thought we had it all, thought we had it ah- ah -- all"

Lydia stopped singing and the band stopped playing. She gave me back the microphone and hid her face behind her hand again. 

I stood there in shock. "Damn."

She giggled. 

"Y'know what? Fuck five hundred, you get six--- caused that was amazing!"

I counted out six hundred dollar bills and handed them to her.

"Wasn't that amazing?" I asked, looking back at the band.

"That was fucking fantastic," Pete spoke up into his mic. 

"Let's give it up for Lydia!" 

The crowd cheered for the young girl as she made her way back to her friends.

"That was fucking phenomenal, man," I said to the audience.

"Well!" I shouted.

"Y'all ready for more Fall Out Boy!?"

The crowd cheered and yelled back at me.

I strutted back to Patrick and whispered in his ear, "and you were worried about fans?"

He chuckled and I walked away backstage and handed the microphone to a stagehand.

"Hey guys."

[news4usonline]

Ravens make enough plays to beat Chargers

INGLEWOOD, Calif. - The summary of the Sunday Night Football game between the Los Angeles Chargers and the visiting Baltimore Ravens came down to which team would make the plays when it counted. The Ravens did their part. The Chargers did not.  As a result of this dynamic, the Ravens walked away with a rugged 20-10 win at SoFi Stadium, handing the Chargers their seventh defeat on the season. "We lost as a team tonight,” Chargers head coach Brandon Staley said afterward. “In a game like that where it's low scoring, where it turns into a defensive game, you have to get one more stop. That's what we needed to do at the end of the game was just get one more stop, give Justin one more opportunity, and we weren't able to do it. 

Los Angeles Chargers running back Austin Ekeler (30) tries to escape a Baltimore Ravens defender during a Sunday Night Football game played at SoFi Stadium on Nov. 26, 2023. Photo credit: Melinda Meijer/News4usonline (Courtesy of The Bulletin) “I thought that our defense really competed tonight. I thought we were ready for the challenge. I thought our guys really played at a high level for most of the game. But, we didn't get it done, as a team. We didn't go get the ball tonight, and that's what we needed to do on defense to win it. Offensively, we didn't take care of the ball to win tonight." The Chargers defense was good enough for Los Angeles to win this ballgame. However, Baltimore forced four turnovers (three fumbles) and put ample pressure on quarterback Justin Herbert to make his life in the pocket a little more than miserable. Because of Baltimore’s pressure defense, Herbert completed 29 of 44 passes for 217 yards.  Herbert was sacked three times and hit the turf on other occasions throughout the game. The game, Herbert said, was won and lost on the execution front.   "I thought that they did a good job,” Herbert said. “Unfortunately, I don't think that we executed the way that we would have liked to have. I have to be able to get the ball out quicker. I have to make some checks. It wasn't good enough on our part today." The turnover part was certainly not good for a team that usually keeps turnovers to a minimum. Courtesy of the Baltimore defense, Herbert, Keenan Allen and running back Austin Ekeler were guilty of putting the ball on the turf.  "That was certainly the difference in the game, and it usually is in the NFL,” Staley said. “When you turn the ball over three times and don't get any, your chances of winning aren't very good, especially when you're playing a team like Baltimore, it's going to be really tough. We hung in there about as well as you could, turning it over like that, one of them in the red area. Just didn't play well enough, clean enough, to win tonight."    Despite losing the turnover battle to the Ravens, the Chargers hung around and stayed in the game thanks in large part to defense. The Chargers defense kept Baltimore quarterback Lamar Jackson from having one of his patented explosive games, holding the Ravens’ signal-caller to making just 18 of his 32 passes for 177 yards and a touchdown. 

Los Angeles Chargers cornerback Asante Samuel Jr. (26) makes the tackle on Baltimore Ravens wide receiver Rashod Bateman (7) during a Sunday Night Football game played at SoFi Stadium on Nov. 26, 2023. Photo credit: Melinda Meijer/News4usonline (Courtesy of The Bulletin) “ tough game, obviously. The Chargers are a very good football team,” Baltimore head coach Jim Harbaugh told reporters. “I thought they played really well. very well-coached team, and it’s a big win for us. You can tell, we’re really, really happy with this win. This is a challenging place to play. It’s loud.  “This team we’re playing is really good, and I thought our guys just played a great football game to come out here on Sunday Night Football and win the game. I’m just proud of the players the way they played. I thought the fourth quarter was a statement. We put an exclamation point on the fourth quarter.”  The Ravens also made a statement in the run game. Baltimore rushed for 197 yards on 35 carries, a 5.6 per yards pop.  “Very effective. very effective,” Jackson said about his team's ability to run the football. “Gus had great runs and Keaton had great runs and Justice . The guys just do a great job. They’re doing their job at that. Our offensive line had a great push, so just keep our offense balanced and I feel like we’ll put points on the board.”  Top Image Caption: Los Angeles Chargers tight end Gerald Everett (7) backs his way into the endzone to complete a 3-yard touchdown reception from Justin Herbert during a Sunday Night Football game played at SoFi Stadium on Nov. 26, 2023. Photo credit: Melinda Meijer/News4usonline (Courtesy of The Bulletin) Read the full article

[scholar-of-imagination]

Everybody Hurts (Criminal Minds)

An (unnamed) team member worries she may be developing schizophrenia and turns to Reid for reassurance. ONESHOT.

Read on FF.net HERE

Reid liked it when they got assigned to the same facet of a case together, even though it was usually only to the M.E.’s office (since they both had a background in science).

For one, she always let him drive. Usually, he was perfectly content to let Hotch or JJ or Prentiss or even Morgan to take the wheel; in fact, it wasn’t until he was 26 that he finally got his license, which took Morgan bullying him into it and then Garcia and Gideon patiently taking him out to practice for several months before he felt ready to take the test.  

But even though he passed on his first try – driving was all physics, after all – he still felt self-conscious and inadequate when performing the skill in front of most of his team members. With her, however, he felt authoritative and capable and … oddly protective. Plus, it was nice to practice with someone he knew wasn’t going to mercilessly rib him about his unrefined and occasionally unorthodox technique.

For another, they didn’t always have to talk. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy their discussions – he did – he just also appreciated an opportunity to mull over the facts of a case without the additional responsibility of holding up one end of a conversation.

He also liked getting a chance to listen to her (rather extensive) music library. She always had a cable and her iPod tucked neatly into one of the front pockets of her backpack – he remembered once how she had raged on about how streaming services were taking away our ability to “own” music – and, always after first asking if he was ok with both music and her selection, would play anything from classic 60s rock to (highly curated) current pop hits to Broadway showtunes.

Today they were driving through the rather remote country town of Lamar, Pennsylvania, the mountains surrounding them forming distant walls of brilliant fall foliage and R.E.M.’s Automatic for the People bridging the amiable silence between them. Although he doubted anything would come of it, he was on high-alert for her to bounce some personal problem off of him. Despite the unspoken rule against inter-team profiling, it was such a reflex for Reid that he has long ago noticed that his friend tended to gravitate towards this album when she was feeling particularly existential. Furthermore, today she wasn’t exhibiting any of her normal I-know-this-song-so-well-it’s-a-part-of-me behaviours, such as head bobbing and enthusiastic air drum solos. Neither was she asleep, with her head either wedged between the headrest and the door or balanced precariously on the seatbelt, which often happened in situations like today where back-to-back cases on opposite sides of the country left them all nauseatingly jet-lagged.

So he was partially prepared when she turned to him to ask: “Reid, do you ever feel…not real?”

“What?”

“Sorry; I said d’you-”

“No, don’t worry; I heard you. I just wanted to make sure I understood.” Whatever Reid had been expecting, it hadn’t been this. Regardless, this was a potentially delicate question. If she meant what he was now greatly concerned she meant… she was in the right age group, after all… but he hadn’t noticed any symptoms in her…

“Ok, ummmm, I know this sounds a bit daft, but do you every worry that this isn’t what life is supposed to feel like?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes I wonder if being in the FBI was what I was meant to do with my life.”

“That’s sort of it. I guess… I always expect experiences to feel a certain way – like maybe feel grown-up or something – and I know it’s not logical to know what a new situation is going to be like but I still end up feeling… disappointed, somehow.” She rushed on, “I’m sorry to dump this on you; I was just really worried that if I tried looking this up on the internet I’d get too freaked out.”

By now, Reid had relaxed a little: this didn’t sound like dissociation or delusion. He almost smiled to himself; of all the things one might not want to google, there were probably very few of which he would be a prime resource. Violent crime being perhaps one of the very rare exceptions, he through ruefully.

“Well, just because I haven’t felt like that doesn’t mean you’re alone. Statistically speaking, of the roughly 7.753 billion people in the world, it’s likely that someone else has.”

“But that doesn’t make it normal! There are hundreds of thousands of unsubs, but that doesn’t make killing other people normal! I guess I’m just…” – a heavy sigh, steeling herself – “… can someone with schizophrenia know they’re developing it?”

Damn her medical background.

“I know, I know; I’m not paranoid or having hallucinations or magical thinking. I’m not seeing messages for me on TV. I don’t think I’m having delusions, although I’m not sure how I would know about that. As I said, I’m sorry to dump this on you.” She looked ready to burst into tears at any second.

Reid let the silence hang in the air for a moment, allowing him to collect his thoughts and for the last notes of “Monty got a Raw Deal” to fade away. He watched as she reached over to make the song replay, and he felt a smile tug at the corner of his mouth again. Although he would never admit it out loud (even to himself), he thought it was cute the way she would sometimes listen to a song she particularly liked on a seemingly endless loop. It felt like something he would do himself.

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I haven’t noticed anything I would be worried about.”

“It does a little.”

“You don’t have any family history of schizophrenia, do you? Remember, it’s highly linked to genetics and would be exceedingly rare for you to develop it de novo.”

“No, I don’t, but I’ve seen loads of people with it; it’s not impossible!”

“Actually, your data set is faulty, as it’s been heavily influenced by sample bias. There are going to be a higher number of people affected if the population you’re using is medicine and criminal justice.”

“You’re right. And ‘loads’ might be a but of an overstatement anyway.”

“Probably. How about I make you a deal?”

“Depends on what it is.”

“I’ll promise to tell you if I’m concerned you might be headed towards a schizophrenic break if you promise to tell me anything else makes you worry about it. Trust me, this isn’t something you should have to deal with on your own.” The song trailed to a close again and he hit the replay button as she wiped the still unshed tear from her eye.

“Deal.” She flashed him a quick smile, sighed heavily, and leaned back in her seat, eyes closed and looking as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

“Spencer?”

“Hmm?” He looked over but her eyes were still closed.

“Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

[bleach-your-panties]

Tumblr Summer ’22 House Party

swimming pools – kendrick lamar (collegeau!armin arlert x black!fem reader)

key:

Y/n-your name

e/c – eye color

s/o/b – shade of brown

pour up (drank)

head shot (drank)

sit down (drank)

stand up (drank)

pass out (drank)

wake up (drank)

faded (drank)

faded (DRANK)

--

“I-I don't know, guys! You know I have a lot of studying to do…midterms are coming up-and, hey! Connie!”

Said Hispanic male rolled his golden brown eyes at his blonde-haired friend as he held the textbook above his head - even though he wasn’t much taller than his friend, his arms were just a tad bit longer.

“Really Armin? Midterms are over a month away and you’re already preparing? We’re in college now, and you need to start acting like it, dammit!”

He flung the book across the room, a loud ‘thud’ sounding off as it narrowly missed the still form of Armin’s best friend and roommate, Eren. Somehow, Eren didn’t even flinch.

Green eyes flicked over to the commotion of the two males and an eyebrow beneath disheveled brown hair was raised.

“Still trying to convince him, Con? Good luck with that. I’ve been begging him to come out with me everyday since the semester first started. Give it up, he’s a lost cause.” He waved his hand dismissively before turning towards the wall and throwing his blanket back over himself.

Armin stared down at his hands that were clenched on his thighs, a hot blush on his cheeks as he listened to his friends discussing him.

Socializing around large groups of people was never an activity that he was fond of. He was nowhere as near as popular as Connie or Eren. If he went to that party he’d just be a lost face in the crowd. A ghost.

“Well, I..you guys know there’s bound to be a lot of alcohol there and I’m not much of a drinker. O-or dancer..so I’d feel really out of place and-“

“Blah blah blah! Do you hear yourself, dude? You’re worried about the wrong things!” Connie plopped next to Armin on his twin-sized bed and threw an arm around his shoulder.

“Listen to me Armin. It’s not about how good of a dancer you are or how shit-faced you get. It’s about living in the moment. We’re not in high school anymore; we can be free and live as young men!”

He stood up from Armin’s bed, one fist raised high into the air with a triumphant look on his face. Eren began snickering from underneath his blanket, while Armin just sighed and shook his head at his persistent friend.

Would it really be that bad if he went?

--

Walking into the party alongside Connie and Eren, Armin immediately felt out of place. One hand nervously tugging at the lapel of his dark blue jean jacket and the other stuffed deep into the pocket of his grey trousers.

The ambiance in the house was definitely set: it was completely dark, save for a light machine that flashed various colors – red, blue, green, yellow, purple. Loud music with thunderous beats caused the house to somewhat pulsate as bodies shrouded in the darkness grinded against each other to the beat.

“So, uh, what now-“

“Come on, man!” Connie pulled him along, passing by multiple inebriated guests with Eren trailing behind the two.

They ended up in a kitchen, which had more lights on than the main area of the house. Bottles of different types of liquor littered the kitchen island, along with red plastic cups, some of them very tiny. Shot glasses.

Eren’s green eyes gazed over the selection, a small smirk turning up his lips as he grabbed a cup and began to mix a concoction of fruit juice and one of the various liquors.

“Now this is what I call an open bar!”

Armin’s blue eyes raked over the selection, not recognizing any of the names. “Do you think that they have any soda around?”

Eren shrugged before nodding his head toward the fridge in the corner. “Look and see.”

The idea of snooping around someone’s house unnerved him, but Armin pushed that thought aside and opened the sleek black refrigerator, grabbing a can of Sprite.

Settling into a bar stool at the counter, he popped the top on his soda and took a sip, cringing at the acidic taste.

“Is that really all you're going to have?” Connie asked, sipping on the concoction that Eren had poured for him before eyeing Armin’s Sprite like it was poison.

The blonde gulped. “Uh, yeah?”

“Bullshit. Here.” Eren pushed two small shot glasses towards Armin, his green eyes boring into the blonde’s skull as if he were trying to telepathically convince him to drink them.

“Eren, I don’t know…”

Connie clapped him on the back, his own cup raised as he nodded at Eren, who also raised his.

“As your official passage into manhood, you have to at least take two shots with us, that’s it!”

Eren nodded, “Two shots.”

The two males raised their cups dutifully, making the blonde sigh and half-heartedly raise his as well.

“To Armin! For no longer acting like a pussy!”

“H-hey!”

----

now i done grew up ‘round some people livin’ their life in bottles

granddaddy had the golden flask

backstroke everyday in chicago

some people like the way it feels

some people wanna kill their sorrows

some people wanna fit in with the popular

that was my problem

--

After taking shots, Eren and Connie both got pulled away by some of the popular kids in their circle.

They made sure that he was good before leaving; Armin just decided to take his half-empty Sprite and cup with a bit of Eren’s concoction and venture into the sitting room of the house.

There weren’t as many people in here as the living area, which had been transformed into the dance floor. A group of guys dressed in sweats and fraternity t-shirts crowded around a hookah machine as some held attractive girls in short skirts in their laps.

He sat upon a futon that was situated in front of a bookshelf. Almost tempted to pluck one with an intriguing title from the shelf, he froze when a very deep, masculine voice called out.

“Hey, fresh meat.”

He looked up and saw two beefy blondes standing in front of him, looking down at him like he was an insect.

“What the fuck? Are you drinking a soda at a kickback?” The one with glasses spoke loudly, pointing at Armin’s Sprite, causing interested eyes to flick over to the scene. A few of the girls giggled, causing Armin’s ears to heat up from embarrassment.

“I-uh, is that a-a bad thing?” He gulped, making eye contact with stormy grey eyes behind thin, circular wire frames.

The jock didn’t answer, instead turning towards his friend, communicating silently.

The other beefed up blonde only nodded, leaving the room shortly before returning with another red cup.

“Here, I think you need this, little one.” He chuckled, pushing the cup in Armin’s face. A strong smell of liquor wafted up Armin’s nostrils, making him crinkle his nose.

“Drink it! Drink it! Drink it! Drink it!”

The entire room chanted, waiting for him to gulp the liquid down, and do it quickly.

i was in a dark room, loud tunes

lookin’ to make a vow soon

that imma get fucked up, fillin’ up my cup

i see the crowd mood, changin’ by the minute

and the record on repeat, took a sip then another sip

then somebody said to me

“Yeah, that's what I'm talking about!”

“Help him loosen up, Zeke!”

“Take another one!”

nigga, why you babysitting only two or three shots?

imma show you how to turn it up a notch

first you get a swimming pool full of liquor, then you dive in it

pool full of liquor then you dive in it

i wave a few bottles, then i watch em all flock

all the girls wanna play baywatch

i got a swimming pool full of liquor and they dive in it

pool full of liquor imma dive in it

--

“Ugh..”

Armin held a hand to his forehead. He felt dizzy and discombobulated.

‘Is this what it feels like to be drunk?’ he wondered.

He looked at his surroundings and pushed himself off of the wall that he felt he had been leaning against.

Standing to his feet, he slightly wobbled on his first step. Music pounded his eardrums and the shuffling of bodies around him started to make him nauseous.

“Hey, are you okay?” A soft voice called out somewhere near him.

Armin turned his head all around before looking down slightly and spotting a woman that was looking at him with a face of concern.

With a red cup clutched in her hand, her e/c eyes looked him up and down, a small frown adorning her full, lipgloss-covered lips.

She’s about a head shorter than him with a cute, curvy figure. Her big, e/c eyes accentuated perfectly shaped and filled eyebrows, long thick eyelashes, a petite nose and of course, those luscious lips. Her skin a pretty s/o/b color that rested beautifully against the black mini dress and white denim half jacket that she sported. Dark-colored hair draped over her shoulders and fell against her sides in deep waves like the ocean.

‘Damn, she’s pretty..’ Armin managed to form that one coherent thought before he snapped out of his trance, cheeks blushing pink as he noticed her staring at him in concern now.

“O-oh, me? Yes, I’m f-fine!” He said a bit too loudly, causing a sweet giggle to erupt from her lips.

“Well..you were swaying and moving slow like a zombie, so I deduced that you’re a little fucked up. This your first time drinking?”

His blush only brightened and spread as she moved closer to him, taking hold of his arm gently.

“That obvious, huh? I don’t really come out like this often..” He admitted, taking his plush bottom lip gently between his teeth. She nodded at his answer, beginning to pull him along with her.

They wove through the crowd until they were situated somewhat in the middle.

Until now, Armin hadn’t noticed that he still clutched that red cup in his hand, a sizable amount of liquid still in it. How that was possible with the staggering he’d been doing, he didn’t know, but as the woman that’d pulled him with her pulled herself in front of him and gripped his free hand, he quickly tossed back the rest of it.

“I’m y/n, by the way. Wanna dance?” is what he thought she said; it was kind of hard to tell with the whirring in his ears and the bass of the song that was currently playing. He nodded nonetheless, crunching the cup and tossing it behind him somewhere so he could wrap both arms around her waist.

----

okay, now open your mind up and listen to me, kendrick

i’m your conscious, if you do not hear me then you will be history, kendrick

i know that you’re nauseous right now and i’m hoping to lead you to victory, kendrick

if i take another one down, imma drown in some poison, abusin’ my limit

i think that I’m feeling the vibe

i see the love in her eyes

i see the feelin’, the freedom is granted

as soon as the damage of vodka arrive

this how you capitalize, this is parental advice

then apparently, i’m over-influenced by what you are doin’

i thought i was doin’ the most then someone said to me

----

Their bodies melded together as she wound her hips against his front. Her arm snaked up in an attempt to wrap around his neck, but it was just a bit too short.

Chuckling softly, Armin, with his newfound confidence, grabbed her wrist and held it gently as they continued to sway to the music.

After this song went off, y/n peeled herself away from him, Armin’s pink lips slowly moving into a frown until she took his hand, leading him back through the crowd and outside.

“Where are we going? You’re not trying to isolate me so you can murder me, are you?” He asked playfully, eyebrow raised.

A jolly laugh left the s/o/b woman’s throat and she shook her head.

“You’re funny, but no. It was getting too hot in there. Too many niggas sweating around us.” She chuckled.

Armin noticed that the backyard of the house is fairly large, and that it houses an in-ground swimming pool.

The water is clean and shines a beautiful blue-green with emphasis from the tall lamp posts that surrounded the area, giving it a very homey feel.

The two sat at the pool’s edge, peeling off their jackets and laying them to the side. Turned towards each other, a comfortable silence fell over them as they took a moment to just bask in the events of the evening.

Y/n, who was no stranger to parties like these, was the exact opposite of Armin who had never been to a house party (or any party) in his life and was basically addicted to his studies.

Y/n was a frequent party-goer that just honestly wanted to have a quiet night in tonight, eating junk food and watching her favorite shows in pajamas. Of course, her two best friends had to beg her to come out with them, ultimately ditching her once they got inside.

“So this is really your first party? You seem to fit in well.” She looked at him, his cerulean blue eyes boring back into her like dark sapphires.

With a small nod, Armin’s mouth twitched into a smile.

“Well, I’d have rather stayed in my dorm, if we’re being honest. I kind of got dragged here by my friends.”

“Really? So did I!”

This caused a small bout of laughter to erupt between the two, no doubt drunkenness contributing to their goofiness. Y/n had probably had just about as Armin, if not more. She was just more used to drinking.

“Well, mystery boy, I’m glad that you decided to come out tonight. I like hanging out with you.”

With a smile, he took her hand, slowly pulling her up with him.

“Armin. My name is Armin. I’ve liked hanging out with you, too, y/n. I’d..like to do it again sometime. I-if that’s alright with you, I mean! You don’t have to-“

A slim finger with a white-polished stiletto nail rested against his lips as y/n giggled over his stuttering. The ever present blush on Armin’s cheeks deepened at the action and he brought a hand up to wrap around her wrist again, just as they did while dancing.

“I’d like that a lot, Armin.”

Pulling her gently closer, Armin looked down into those pretty e/c pools as their faces inched closer and closer.

----

nigga, why you babysitting only two or three shots?

imma show you how to turn it up a notch

first you get a swimming pool full of liquor, then you dive in it

pool full of liquor then you dive in it

----

Lips brushed against each other, Armin taking a hold of y/n’s waist and pulling her closer.

They each sighed softly into the kiss, the taste of her lip gloss invading his taste buds as he obliged her request to deepen the kiss.

Despite the alcohol they’d had, neither tasted strongly of it, only of their natural scents and tastes.

Y/n gripped the front of his white t-shirt, catching him off guard and making him stumble dangerously close towards the edge of the pool.

Armin, in his state of inebriation was too focused on the kiss to really catch his footing.

It all felt like slow motion, y/n’s squeals in his ear as he haphazardly gripped her by the waist and ass, pulling her to his body as they both finally plunged into the cool water of the pool.

SPLASH!

----

i wave a few bottles, then i watch em all flock

all the girls wanna play baywatch

i got a swimming pool full of liquor and they dive in it

pool full of liquor imma dive in it

----

Armin soon resurfaced from the depths of the water, his hold on Y/n almost making them both sink. Her knowledge of how to swim made her push away from him so they wouldn’t both drown until she could resurface. Once she did, he made sure to hold tightly to her hands and guide her out of the water once he was situated on the pool’s steps.

“Y/n, are you alright?! I’m so so SO sorry, oh my God! I didn’t mean to-! I tried to catch both of us, but I lost my footing and-!”

Armin’s rambling was interrupted by giggles, making him stop and look at the drenched woman in front of him.

“I-you’re laughing?”

Armin began to question why he wasn’t being chewed out, but stopped when his eyes caught sight of Y/n’s sopping wet dress clinging to every line and curve of her body, leaving little to the imagination.

The now sheer black fabric clung to her nipples, which were erect from the water’s temperature and the slight August breeze that blew around them.

Trying to look down and away from her breasts, his eyes landed upon the area where her thighs met and the soaked fabric allowed him to see her light-colored panties.

“O-oh shit, you’ve gotta be cold! My jacket..” He looked around for it anxiously before remembering that it was on the other side of the pool.

Y/n only giggled again, moving some of her wet hair away from her beautiful face. She still looked amazing in Armin’s eyes, even more so with her dampened hair resting on her shoulders, flowing down to her waist.

“It’s okay, Armin, it was only an accident. It was kind of fun actually. We should get out of these wet clothes though before we get sick.”

Armin’s cheeks heated up as his still-tipsy brain hung on the words “get out of these clothes” even though he knew she didn’t mean it in that way.

“I could give you a ride to your dorm so you can change clothes. Again, I’m really sorry about this.” He gave a gentle smile and extended his hand, which she took without hesitation, returning the smile.

----

pour up (drank)

head shot (drank)

sit down (drank)

stand up (drank)

pass out (drank)

wake up (drank)

faded (drank)

faded (DRANK)

-----

“Thank you Armin, that’s really sweet of you. I have another idea though-why don’t after I change, we go back to your dorm, watch movies, and eat snacks? I’m sure we both could use a little sobering up and I like spending time with you.”

Was he dreaming right now? Never had he even thought of bringing a girl back to his dorm, nor had he had the privilege of being asked to do so, but he figured since he was trying new things tonight that spending more time with Y/n wouldn’t be bad at all. Besides, it’s not like he didn’t want to; he very much did.

With his ears burning and a cute smile on his face, he nodded and wrapped an arm around Y/n’s shoulders, bringing her body closer to his for warmth.

At the back door of the house watching the couple walk off was Connie, Eren, Zeke, and Reiner. The young men all gave each other high fives and exchanged knowing smirks.

“Our little Armin is all grown up now!” Connie laughed as he began humping the air, making Eren and the others burst out laughing.

‘It’s about time’ Eren thought with a smile on his face.

----

nigga, why you babysitting only two or three shots?

imma show you how to turn it up a notch

first you get a swimming pool full of liquor, then you dive in it

pool full of liquor then you dive in it

i wave a few bottles, then i watch em all flock

all the girls wanna play baywatch

i got a swimming pool full of liquor and they dive in it

pool full of liquor imma dive in it

----

*ʳᵉᵇˡᵒᵍˢ ᵃʳᵉ ᵃˡʷᵃʸˢ ᵃᵖᵖʳᵉᶜⁱᵃᵗᵉᵈ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱ ˡᵒᵛᵉ ᶜᵒᵐᵐᵉⁿᵗˢ🫶🏽

[doubleleoenergy]

iii. Cola, Lolita Series

My pussy tastes like Pepsi cola. My eyes are wide like cherry pies. I gots a taste for men who are older. It's always been so it's no surprise

Series Masterlist

Pairing: bestfriendsdad!Andy Barber x fem!reader

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, drinking, age gap (22 vs early 40s), oral (male receiving)

Words: 2419

Summary: Y/N calls Andy from the club and gives him a new lease on life.

Andy Barber is enjoying the most mundane adult evening of his life. It’s a Saturday night, the boys had all decided to go on a camping trip, guys only of course. Y/N was nowhere to be found when he got home from the gym, and he honestly enjoyed the thought of having a quiet night to himself.

He had taken a shower and afterwards had cooked himself a meal for one: steak, baked potato, and a salad. He washed it all down with a glass of wine, one of the aged bottles he had kept when Laurie was moving her stuff out. Andy had sat down on the couch, comfortably sprawled out watching some new action film that Jacob had recommended.

Not a thought ran through his mind as he sat and watched the first half of the movie, and honestly it was nice. He was tempted to turn off the movie and call it an early night, his plans interrupted immediately when he felt his phone buzzing in the pocket of his sweats.

He pulled the phone out and stared at the screen, his heart racing in his chest as he looked at the name displayed. “Hello?” He answered on the third ring, holding the phone up to his ear.

“Hi boss-man Andyyyyy.” Y/N sing-songed on the other line, Kendrick Lamar’s ‘Humble’ blaring loudly through the speakers behind her.

“Y/N, are you alright?” Andy questioned; concern laced in his voice.

“M’not.” She giggled, holding her phone out to yell at some dude that was trying to ask her to dance. “I went to the club downtown with a friend tonight and she left. What a bitch, right? Anyhow, can you pick me up pleaassseeee Andy. An Uber would be like sooooo expensive.” She moved the phone from her ear to shout out some of the lyrics to the song before coming back to the screen.

“Uh, yeah. Send me the address and I’ll come get you. Are you drunk, y/n?” He stands up, walking to his bedroom and shimmying out of his sweats to put on a pair of dark jeans and a black t-shirt.

“Not drunk, just a bit tipsy, ya know? I’ll be waiting for you on the dance floor!” She screams, and before Andy can protest, she’s hung up the phone, a loud sigh leaving his lips. So much for his mundane adult night at home.

It didn’t take Andy more than fifteen minutes with Google Maps on to get to the club, having a valet at the door park his Audi for him before waiting at the door for the bouncer to let him in. The minute Andy walked inside he was met by flashing lights and a DJ spinning a popular Dua Lipa song. He pushed his way past the crowd of people, eyes scanning for any sign of y/n.

She had mentioned she would be on the dance floor, and the closer he got the harder he looked for her. Finally, after a few moments and mistakenly touching the shoulder of someone with the same hair color and length as her, it was as if the sea of people had parted as his blue hues locked on her. She was obviously gorgeous, every outfit looking stunning on her, but this was something else. It was like the breath was knocked out of his lungs, the two-piece black bodycon skirt and cropped spaghetti-strapped top revealing every curve of her body. Where the seams would normally be sewn on each side of the thin fabric there lay open strips of rhinestones. The rhinestone strips left the sides of her top open to reveal a healthy amount of sideboob, the skirt revealing the curve of her ass, no panties or bra underneath.

Andy couldn’t help but watch her sway to the music. She looked so carefree, minus the occasional guy that she shooed off with a flick of her wrist. After the second guy had approached and left defeated, Andy walked up, tapping her on the shoulder. As soon as she saw him a huge smile spread across her luscious lips.

“Andyyyy.” Her eyes traveled up and down his body, the hair on the back of his neck standing up. She was devouring him with her eyes. 

“Hey, y/n, let’s go.” Andy nodded towards the door and y/n let out a huff, grabbing his wrist and tugging him towards her.

“C’mon, dance with me.” She purred, trying to tug him further into the crowd with her.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, y/n, besides you’ve had one too many drinks.” He contested, y/n’s eyes rolling back into her head.

“M’not messed up, I’m fully aware of my actions. I even drank some water before you came. Now.” Her tone is filled with lust, motioning him towards her with her finger. “Are you gonna dance with me or what?”

Andy’s head is screaming logically to not do this, she’s Jacob’s friend from school and he was also older than her, and her boss. But before he can protest his feet have a mind of their own and follow her deeper into the crowd on the floor.

He’s not sure what to do, standing there awkwardly as he watches her body shimmying in front of him. The song quickly changes, the new hit by Lil Nas X ‘Montero (Call Me By Your Name)’ blaring out of the speakers.

“C’mere.” The chorus of the song comes and y/n grabs Andy’s hand, tugging him closer to her until she turns so her back is flush against his chest. She moves the hand she’s holding to her waist, tugging the other down to the opposite side before grinding her body back against him.

Holy shit. This is really happening. Andy’s heart is pounding in his chest, rocking his hips forward into her, his hands gripping firmly against her waist now. He can hear her screaming out the lyrics to the song as they dance, tugging at the nape of his neck, craning her own so that she can meet his gaze finally.

Their eyes stay locked as the song ends and another starts, and Andy can feel his painfully hard cock in his jeans. Her eyes move to glance down at his lips and then back up again to his face.

“Come with me.” She whispers, grabbing his hand again and tugging him out of the crowd of people towards the back of the club. Andy is blindly following her, his cock still pressing against the front of his jeans. God, this was so embarrassing.

She snakes her way around the throngs of people until they reach the back wall, the bathroom sign hanging above their heads. The line for the women’s restroom is long, the men’s restroom door a few feet down a separate hallway with not a single soul in sight.

Glancing back at Andy she tugs him towards the door of the men’s restroom, looking inside and under the stalls to ensure that it was completely empty. She pushes open the door fully, motioning him to come in with her.

The heavy door closes behind them, y/n immediately pushing Andy until his back gently hits the wall beside the door.

“I see the way you’ve been looking at me. It’s hard not to notice.” Andy’s expression is a mix of both shock and excitement, his eyes trailing down to meet hers.

“We can’t…” Andy trails off, y/n shushing him with one of her fingers.

“We’re both adults here, and I can make my own decisions. And this is my decision.” Before Andy can protest again, y/n stands up on her tippy toes in her high heels, crashing her lips against his fervently.

He’s confused at first but quickly gives into the kiss, her lips tasting like rum and Pepsi-Cola. His lips melt into hers, moaning into her mouth as she parts her lips, his tongue exploring further. Her hands are roaming first through his hair, tugging lightly as they continue their kiss before roaming them down the taut muscles of his arms.

Finally, she presses her body against his, feeling how hard he is through the denim. She breaks the kiss, eyes wide like cherry pies and lips swollen from their actions.

“Get in the stall.” She commands, nodding her head in its direction. Andy’s breathing is ragged from their kiss, but he does as he’s told, walking into the stall as y/n follows behind and locks it after she enters. 

“Have you been thinking about me at night?” She asks, moving to stand in front of him and slowly undoing the buttons on his jeans.

“Wait, what?” He questioned, his cock twitching as the tension of his jeans were removed, y/n pushing them down along with his boxers, his hard cock springing free against his chest.

“I said.” She gripped his cock in her hand, looking up at him. He was definitely way bigger than anyone she had ever been with, which made sense considering Andy was all man, nothing about him being boyish.

“Have you been thinking about me?” She asked again, his breath hitching as she started to pump his cock in her hand, barely being able to grip it.

“Y-yes.” Andy stammered, a groan escaping his lips as she continues to pump him.

“Tell me you want this Andy, and I’ll get down on my knees right now and give you release.” She met his gaze, a choked-out moan escaping his lips.

“Please.” Those were the only words she needed to hear before she dropped down to her knees, the cold tile soothing the heat coming off her body.

“Wanna taste you.” She preened, taking Andy’s cock into her hand and lapping gingerly at the tip. He could’ve come just from the sight of her before him, but he wouldn’t, he wanted to savor this moment.

Y/N held up his cock, licking a stripe from the base to the tip before suckling on the head, eliciting a groan from deep in Andy’s throat. She tasted the precum leaking from his tip, her thighs clenching together. This wasn’t about her pleasure; this was about Andy’s. And she wanted to show him just how seductive she could be.

Her lips curl around his girth, bobbing her head back and forth along his length. He’s not just thick but long, and she struggles to take him down, eyes watering as she brings her face closer and closer to his pelvic bone.

Her eyes look up to meet Andy’s as she pulls off him with a wet pop. “Is this what you wanted? To see my mouth stuffed full of your cock?” She pursed her lips, her core dripping underneath her skirt. 

“Yes, god you look so pretty down there. My little Lolita.” He praised, keeping his gaze on her. Her lips curl into a seductive smirk, batting her lashes at him.

“Want you to use me, I know you’ve thought about it. Want you to cum down my throat.” Her words urge him on, his hand grabbing a tight fistful of her hair and guiding her back down onto his cock. 

Andy’s not going to last much longer, bucking into her mouth and listening to the sloppy sounds of her gagging on his cock. It’s a beautiful song on her lips and he watches as some of the saliva from her lips runs down her chin and onto the floor. 

“Fuck, y/n, m’gonna cum.” As soon as the words leave his lips he’s steadying at the back of her throat, holding her on his cock as he cums deep down her throat, giving her no choice but to swallow. Y/N takes it in stride, swallowing all the sticky substance and milking his cock before letting go of him. She stands back up, taking her thumb and wiping against the corner of her lips, rubbing it across her bottom lip before straightening her outfit.

“It’s late, we should head back.” Y/N turns to unlock the door of the stall while Andy pulls his clothes back on, her eyes meeting a man who she hadn’t heard come into the restroom, standing at the urinal with his jaw agape. 

After leaving the bathroom Andy and Y/N burst out laughing about the man in the restroom, walking towards the front door of the club and out to the valet where they waited for his car. As soon as the man at the valet brings his car back, y/n slinks into the passenger seat, tousling her hair with her fingers.

“That was…” Andy trailed off, roaring the car to life and starting down the road towards home. Y/N leaned her head back, looking over at Andy. “That was a one-time thing.” She stated, looking back out the window.

“Are you sure about that?” He quizzed, stopping at the red light on the street and looking back at her. 

“Guess it depends on if you’re worth it or not. You’ll have to wait and see.”

Andy didn’t know why, but he wanted more. He wanted much more with her. She made him feel alive, feel young again. She made him feel wanted, something he hadn’t felt with his ex-wife in such a long time before their divorce. He glances at her out of the corner of his eye, noticing her shivering in what little fabric that covered her skin. Bringing his hand into the backseat, he reaches out and pulls out one of his buttons up work shirts, handing it over to her.

“You’re cold, put this on.” She silently thanks him, pulling the shirt on and buttoning it halfway, the shirt smelling strongly of his cologne. They sat silently for the rest of the ride home, y/n looking out the window as they drove. 

After about five minutes of silence they arrived back at the house, walking through the door in the garage and into the house. She knows things are complicated now, but she doesn’t care. She’s lived her life free as a bird, boys wanting her but never acquiring her. What would be the difference now? 

“Thanks for coming to get me.” Her voice is soft and honest, turning to look up at him. They’re inches from each other again, Andy closing the distance this time to kiss her lips, y/n pulling back with a smile.

“Goodnight Andy.” She heads towards the stairs, turning back to look over her shoulder one last time at him. “Oh, and feel free to jerk off to thoughts of me any time.”

Tagging those who may be interested. Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list: @midnightf @my-divine-death @saamwilsonn @fierylibraa @fuckandfluff​ @rattlemyb0nes​ @rootcrop @goldenboysteve​  @turtoix​  @jeremyrennermakesmesmile​  @ccmarvelxx

[thehofw]

The Journey of Jimmy Butler

The How of the Wow exhibits stand out athletes well known individuals whose skills and attributes are out of the ordinary separating themselves from other professional athletes around different leagues. These stand out athletes have a knack that excels them in their sport which radiates attention from fans of all levels. Throughout the years, we have seen dominant talents from Michael Jordan, Usain Bolt, Cristiano Ronaldo to recently Lamar Jackson and many other young phenoms. An athlete that has caught everyone's eyes is superstar Jimmy Butler, a professional basketball player who plays small forward for the Philadelphia 76ers.

Jimmy Butler is a two-way small forward from Houston, Texas. Butler is 6’7, 230 pounds, is 32 years old, and continues to topple the charts at his position. Butler is currently the third best at his position because of his defensive capability at his position and his stellar ability to score. Butler's career stats are 49.7% from the field, 86.3% from the free throw line, 7.1 assists, and 6.9 rebounds a game. Jimmy Butler is well known for his defense ability. During his best season he averaged 2.1 steals a game which is the most was enough to be the most in the NBA. Jimmy Butler continues to get better as he just finished with his personal bests for rebounds, assists, steals, field goal percentage, true shooting percentage through his 2020-2021 season. With Jimmy Butler’s high motor and determination, Butler will most likely be a first team all-defense candidate in the next upcoming season. 

Jimmy Butler's success in the league can be seen with his character which he had to develop at a young age. Socioeconomic factors started to hit early in Butler's life as his father left him at a young age. Shortly later, Butler’s mom would kick him out of the house where he would be homeless at 13. This left Butler with no place to live, no money in his pocket, and most importantly nowhere to turn to. This was the point when Butler had the determination to get through one day at a time to meet his big rock; the NBA. Jimmy Butler lives by a quote. "One day at a time. The NBA is a goal of mine. But I'm not there yet. I can't lose my focus." Focused on his goal one day at a time, Butler was able to find a place temporarily. 

Jimmy Butler was taken into the Lambert family as a role model for their younger kids and to develop character and support his NBA career. Playing basketball at the Tomball highschool, Butler was not receiving much attention from College scouts as he did not go to college camps or play for an AAU team. With little opportunity, and limited funds to play at a division one college, Butler took his talents to Tyler Junior College. 

At Tyler Junior College, Butler thrived. Totaling 30-40 points in his opening games gave him the confidence to be able to compete at the next level. Heading to Marquette would be a pivotal point in Butler's basketball career as this allowed him to mature and learn the game through coach Williams. Williams said: "I've never been harder on a player than I've been on Jimmy. I was ruthless to him because he didn't know how good he could be. He'd been told his whole life he wasn't good enough. What I was seeing was a guy who could impact our team in so many ways.” The time at Marquette molded Butler and remodeled Butler’s strategic plan to get to the league. Butler always thought that he could rely on his shooting ability and athleticism to win games through him, but playing with Marquette opened his eyes to a new philosophy. Butler says: "I was tutored by the best," Butler said. "Those guys taught me so much about how to play and how to be a man. I knew that to be successful, I had to be more than a scorer. I had to become a leader. It's not about scoring. It's about doing what my team needs me to do. I wanna be that glue guy, I want to be a guy my team and my coach can count on. That's what I want to be."

This mentality and maturity allowed Butler to grow as a player and ultimately dictated his success in the NBA through his new philosophy. Seeing Butler's story and his socioeconomic struggle shows that through determination and revising a strategic plan to fit a professional team can skyrocket his potential. He used his issues not as deterrents, but as obstacles to get to a goal, which has given him the chip on his shoulder that he still has today and is why he is one of the best at his positions currently. 

Citations:

Editors, S. T. (2019, June 10). Jimmy Butler Biography Facts, childhood and personal life. Jimmy Butler Biography Facts, Childhood And Personal Life. Retrieved October 20, 2021, from https://sportytell.com/basketball/jimmy-butler-biography-facts-childhood-personal-life/. 

Hanifan, M. (2021, June 10). Miami heat 2020-21 player review: Jimmy Butler. Hot Hot Hoops. Retrieved October 20, 2021, from https://www.hothothoops.com/2021/6/10/22526658/miami-heat-2020-21-player-review-jimmy-butler. 

[guessimjoiningthespidermanfandom]

Roses of Melrose

Peter Parker x bisexual!reader 

Peter Parker x fem!reader

Peter Parker x black!reader 

Peter Parker x villain!reader 

Warnings: Language, murder, death, mentions of gangs, gun violence, mercenaries, physical abuse, verbal abuse, parental neglect, drug use, underage drinking, mentions of knives, brief mentions of sex, blood, piercings. 

Word Count:  8.4k

Songs: Ultralight beam-Kanye, I love Kanye- Kanye, Good Kid-Kendrick Lamar, Sing about me I’m dying of thirst- Kendrick Lamar, Violent Crimes- Kanye, Apparently- J.Cole, Black Wave- K.Flay, Pretty Little Birds- SZA, Wouldn’t it be Nice- The Beach Boys. 

“  It was the way I fought back. It was my first ‘fuck you’ to everyone to everything. It was my best friend. It was my first love. So to you I’m just another girl with another basic rose tattoo but to me. To me? It’s the way I remember it’s the way I keep my friend with me. It’s the way I’d make sure I couldn’t forget the unforgettable”

A/N: Sorry it took so long to finish this school and home got in the way. Sorry If the grammar is off there was only one proof read. Hopefully you enjoy it. Sorry that there’s less Peter in this one. It’s more character building. 

Series Masterlist   Previous Part    Next Part 

I had my suspicions about Peter being Spiderman, I mean it was kinda obvious he’s always leaving decathlon meetings according to MJ. They both have the same annoying ass optimism. No one is just that sure of anything. Like ever. Thanks to Liz I’d finally know. 

I entered the house having to maneuver past a couple of people standing in the hall past the front door. This party was tame compared to others I’d been to. Flash was DJ-ing he’s so annoying. Liz was cool though she was nice. 

I found MJ standing in the kitchen opening a pack of bread holding a jar of peanut butter. When I walked over and said 

“Only you would come to a party to just eat bread.”

She only replied with a short “Whatever loser,” 

“Hey, Peter Parker. Where’s your friend Spiderman?” Flash announced on the mic.

“Lemme guess with your imaginary girlfriend?”

Peter just stood there stunned 

“That’s not Spiderman that’s just Ned in a red shirt,” Okay that one would’ve been kinda funny if he didn’t add that annoying horn sound.  

“Shut the fuck up!” I said before smiling at Peter and walking off. I didn't do it for him, necessarily Flash was just annoying. Like I’ve never understood how someone with the grandpa name Eugene could talk so much shit. 

 I was making small talk with some random senior boy when I heard a high pitched squeal and excused myself to the bathroom. The sound only got louder and louder and louder. It was so painful it felt like Athena should’ve split my forehead and climbed her way out. My vision blurring together made me not able to grab onto anything as I lost balance. I wasn't going to cry, 

I wasn't. I couldn’t crying’s pathetic I wasn't going to cry. I could push through the pain. I’ve done it before, that's what I always do. Just when it got so intense I was sure I was gonna pass out it stopped. I did not pass out however I did throw up into the toilet. I looked in the mirror after washing my face off and for a second I could’ve sworn my eyes were glowing. Great now I’m going into a psychotic break why would my eyes be glowing. 

I just need some fresh air. Yeah that’s all. I sat there for a while letting my mind wander until I heard MJ’s voice from behind me. 

“So this is where you were? I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” She said as she sat down next to me. When I didn’t respond she turned facing me waving her hands my face 

“You good?” 

I looked up from picking at the grass. 

“I’m just tired MJ,” I mean I have every right to be tired there’s a whole fucking gang war going down where I live. Which makes no fucking sense why are people fighting over streets that no one actually owns. The weapons Vulture is selling make me good money, but they’re getting way too close to where my friends lived. I was snapped out of diving into all my problems by a purple cloud in the distance. Hearing the distant squeal slash siren hybrid. I felt my eyes widen. 

“What was that?” MJ asked. 

Fucking Vulture 

ARE YOU KIDDING ME. I told him to stay out of my neighborhood and he came to my friends. 

“I don’t know,” I said “Let’s just go back inside,”

As we were walking back to the backdoors I took one glance behind me, and there he was Spiderman heading towards the cloud

“Hey,” I called out walking closer to Ned, “Ned!”

He turned around 

“Who me?” He pointed to himself. 

“I mean I don’t see any other Neds around were,” I joked

“Oh, it’s you just usually don’t talk to me,” He pointed out. 

“Yeah sorry about that,” I said “Actually where’s Peter? I can’t seem to find him,” 

“Oh he uh,” he scratched the back of his neck “He had to go,” 

“Aw, how unfortunate,” I patted his shoulder “Well enjoy the party I have to go too,” So Ned knew Peter was Spiderman. 

“Can I get a ride?” I asked MJ to which she just said 

“You don’t have to ask,”

 “Just drop me off at the corner store by my house,”

It never felt awkward around MJ. Normally I had to be on high alert around everyone, but it’s never like that with her. This isn't an “honor” many people have but she’s one of the few I feel comfortable falling asleep around. I knew being in the car would make me feel sick so I drifted off. 

Shutting the door to the car we said our goodbyes and I headed into the gas station when Mr. William greeted me. I felt a warm feeling in my body. It was nice but short lived and replaced by an emptiness that humans like to call nostalgia. I missed feeling “home” I still lived here. I don’t know why It seems like I don't. I guess it was the fact I’d been giving more attention to Queens and Thorn lately. I know it’s not the projects anymore which I am immensely grateful for but it’s the same neighborhood. According to Briana, one of the like 3 friends I managed to keep I “never come around anymore” or “I’m too good for them”. 

I made my way to the bathroom and located the tile I kept my burner phone in. I used to keep it in a shoe box at home until my sister started going through the phase where she feels the need to borrow all my clothes. Stomping on the edge of the tile it flipped up and I grabbed the phone and shoved it in the pocket of my hoodie. 

Getting a soda and some gummy worms before I left. I started to walk back to my apartment complex. I went up to sit on the roof of the building just eating my gummies looking. That was something I did a lot just look. When I was younger I couldn’t stand being alone in my own head, but the older I got the more I began to understand why old people would just sit out on their porch doing nothing but looking. 

When I checked my phone it was 12:47 and I decided it was time to go back in. First I sent out a message on the burner phone to what I hope to God was the right number. 

I headed back down to my room and spent the whole night tossing and turning. When I put on a podcast I slept much easier. I found that the environment I grew up in bred me to not be able to sleep probably without some sort of noise even if it’s just arguing. 

I woke up with my phone on my face and my bonnet halfway across the continent. I checked my phone fully expecting to be late but by some blessing I had at least two hours to get ready before I had to leave. The house was quiet like eerily quiet no TV on or anything. I went to wake up the drama queen, middle child, Aaliyah. When I say drama queen I mean both acting and just straight up being dramatic. And then there’s Sapphire who’s the physical embodiment of a Gemini. I flicked on the lights, revealing toys scattered all over Sapphire‘s side of the room. The only response I got was from Aaliyah who simply whined and pulled her blanket over her head. I picked up a pair of rolled up socks and tossed them at her to which she loudly exclaimed 

“Ow!” 

See what I mean by dramatic but thankfully for me, she woke up Sapphire meaning I didn’t have to step on sharp plastic trying to navigate her side. Not that I could judge her though I can’t remember the last time I had the motivation to clean my room. 

I was fully expecting my dad to be passed out on the couch when I walked into the living room but he wasn’t. He wasn’t in his room either. This was nothing out of the ordinary though, he’d probably be back tonight or tomorrow.

One of the perks of my dad being gone was I could use the bathroom in his room to shower and take as long as I want. Another perk of dad not being here is I can take his car today instead of my skateboard. My sisters don't go to a local school but it’s still way closer to our home then Midtown so they don’t have to go so far away. I,on the other hand, have to skate to the bus stop, get on the metro then get on a subway and skate the rest of the way to school. 

“Y’all wanna get something to eat?” I asked my sisters once we were in the car. 

“Wendys!” Sapphire interjected from the backseat 

“No one wants to eat Wendys,” Aaliyah turned around from the passenger to face her. “Get McDonald’s” she demanded, turning back to face me. 

“Oh so you don’t want Wendys but you can eat the plastic from McDonald's,” Sapphire asked accusingly. 

“Wendy's tastes like shit,” 

“You taste like shit,” 

“That doesn’t even make any sense!”

I just giggled at the fact this is what they decided to argue about. 

“I’m just gonna get somethin’ from Mr. Washington, Since it’s the closest thing to us” was all I said before turning the radio up. 

I pulled into the parking lot. Looking at the buildings that look like they should be dead. With their bulletproof windows with anti robbery bars. It’s honestly depressing if you think about it for too long. But these places are nothing but living and bustling no matter what. Like the roses in the cracks of the sidewalk. I left the keys in the ignition once my sister confirmed they weren’t coming inside. 

“Hey Y/N,” Mr.Washington’s son said from the kitchen. I believe he’s 18 now?

“Hey,” I nodded my head at him walking towards his father to order. 

“Hey, Y/N how are you doing?”

“I’m good how are you?” 

“I’m good thanks for asking, you know you look more and more like your mom everyday,” he pointed out and I just smiled. “She was a great kid,” 

“Yeah…” I trailed off. 

“So the usual?” he asked and I nodded. 

I don’t know how but he remembered everyone’s usual orders and knows everyone’s names. 

Quick rule of thumb the best food comes in brown paper bags.

Once I was back in the car I had to make the conscious effort not to speed. MJ never goes anywhere when I drive because I “drive like I have nothing to live for” which personally I just think she’s dramatic. 

Honestly my sisters are so lucky they go to a local school. I mean yeah the education at Midtown is better than the local highschool, but it’s not like I even belong there. So basically I commute almost 40 minutes everyday to a school I’m not smart enough to go to.  

By the time lunch came around I had a terrible headache the smell of my food made me vomit. And no I’m not being dramatic I really had to stop by the bathroom and throw up. 

Now I didn’t really feel like walking all the way over to sit at my usual table so I just sat with the school stoners. Yes cliques are real and if this were a movie I’d be one of those clique surfers. Pretty much everyone is a clique surfer if we’re being honest. 

I don’t know why they get such a bad wrap stoners have got to be some of the nicest people I’ve ever met. Like this one girl Jessica she gave me one of my first tattoos for free in freshman year when I met her. Since she noticed that I looked stressed, she offered to let me hit her cart. I didn’t even have to ask her 

Oh my god I’ll marry you were my exact thoughts at that moment. That I’d apparently voiced out loud because she responded with. 

“I’m down. When’s the wedding?” 

Her and two guys who were sitting at the table with us made their way to the boys bathroom with me. 

 After about 3 hits I could feel the life returning to my body as if the rain finally stopped crashing down and the rainbow entered the sky. I could've sworn I heard God say “I’ll never flood the earth again” 

“Do you think I’d look good with a nostril piercing?” I asked while examining my nose in the mirror. 

“Are you kidding me? You’d look hot as fuck,” Jessica added in. 

“You should pierce her nose, J” the guy who was standing closest to the door said. Zach I think. 

“Yeah I could do that, do you want me to?” She asked. 

I pondered it for a second before the boy who already looked off of cloud nine Tyler I believe his name was interjected with 

“She’s really good at it, she did my girlfriends,” 

You know what? Fuck it 

“Why the hell not,” I said

“Alright,” she said after clapping her hands and walking over to her backpack on the floor. She pulled out a lighter and an earring. She lit the earring to disinfect and I hopped up on the sink and she moved towards the right side of my body. Just as she was asking me where exactly I wanted it we all jumped at the sound of the door creaking open. 

Low and behold Peter Parker of all people walked in. 

“Uh I was just gonna...yeah,” He stammered out still standing by the door. He was still just staring at me. Now I’m not sure if it was because I was a girl in the boys bathroom, if I looked high, or if it was the fact I was about to pierce my nose in a dirty school bathroom but he was starting to make me feel awkward. 

“Can I help you?” I asked. 

“Oh,” he said as a blush raised up his cheeks “I’m just gonna,” he pointed to one of the stalls before scurrying into it. 

Jessica simply chuckled and called him cute.

By the time he came back out to wash his hands the earring was already pushed into my nostril with a slight pinch. Jessica told me that I’d have to clean the piercing everyday for a couple weeks, which is something I could manage. I hopped down the sink and asked 

“Do I look okay?” Referring to my eyes

“Yeah and me?” Jessica asked

“Yeah you’re good,” I reassured her. That was the last thing she needed to hear before her and the other two guys left the bathroom. 

As Peter was washing his hands I turned back around to look at my nose in the mirror. It was still a little red with irritation. It was also slightly sore to the touch. I was shaken out of my thoughts by Peter’s voice. 

“Did that hurt?” He asked. 

He was so adorable. 

“This?” I pointed to my nose and he nodded. 

“No not really,” I said grabbing my bag off the floor. 

“Well this very short convo has been a blast but I gotta go,” 

Okay so, I hadn’t been to the class in like forever because of the sheer fear of what would happen cause I skipped it so much. However, my fear of having to confront Olivia is stronger and she was coming towards me so, I ran in through the door. Ugh I’m such a pussy. I saw her walk out of my view. I was gonna turn back out and leave but ,unfortunately I had already locked eyes with the teacher. Looking around at all the students staring at me I just looked back at the teacher. 

“Y/N! So nice of you to finally join us,” Ms Warren just had to announce. I simply choose to give a curt nod before she said 

“We’re doing a partnered assignment, you can sit by Peter,” She said while pointing near the back of the classroom.  

I made my way to the back of the class and slumped into the seat. 

“Hey,” I said putting my legs on the empty desk in front of me. 

“Hey, didn’t know you were in this class,” Peter pointed out. 

“I mean I don’t think I’ve been here since the second week of school? Yeah I’m not sure. So from the beginning of sophomore year to now would be like maybe 1…2...3. No 2, yeah 2.” I went on before realizing I was rambling “Sorry I’m talking too much I’m like tiniest bit faded right now, and okay let me shut up,” 

“No, no you’re fine. I like hearing you talk” 

“I’ll be right back,” I whispered before raising my hand. 

“Yes Y/N?” Ms Warren asked. 

“Can I go to the bathroom?” 

She sighed “Uh, Yes I guess that’s fine just don’t take to long,” 

I grabbed the pass and started down the hallway. I was never planning to go to the bathroom. In all honesty I was going to the freshmans’ lunch cause I’d gotten hungry. I was in the line to get snacks when I felt a buzz in my pocket. I knew it was the burner phone so I got my chips and went outside to the area of the school with no cameras. Looking around to make sure no one was looking. I opened the text. Which read 

this T?- B 

yes, do you still have it?- T I responded 

I do- B 

ok meet at usual X and Place- T 

ok- B

I’d confirmed my brother could pick up my sisters from daycare. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about them at home when I was doing what I needed to do. 

I was trying to keep a low profile. I don't need anyone to claim they saw Thorn tonight. Since I’ve been on the radar of the police more often lately. No one would be looking in an abandoned train cart anyways. I‘d be fine. I just went with a black hoodie and a bandana to cover my face. 

But of course Black Cat was in her suit because when was she ever not. 

“You sure this is it?” I asked 

“Yes I’m sure,” she said and placed the flash drive in my hand. I stuffed it in the pocket of my hoodie. 

“Don’t forget what we talked about,” she said pointedly. 

“Yeah, yeah I’ve got you,” 

Great now I have to get into the government protected flash drive and clear her name. Just as I was about to turn to leave. The sound of someone sliding open the doors to one of the carts. 

“Were you followed?” she whispered

“No of course not,” I rolled my eyes 

I only had one weapon on me but I knew that Black Cat could handle whoever it was. Although just because she could do this on her own doesn’t mean I was gonna help. I had one expandable baton. Waiting for whoever was here to come in. I got my baton knocked out of my hand. 

The fight that broke out wasn’t really a fight if you could even call it that, it was just like 3 guys trying to get the flash drive and us knocking them out. I did however get my fair share of bruises but that’s only because I was thrown into the wall once. I did have a pretty deep gash on my forehead but I should be able to cover it with a headband.  

I almost gave myself a heart attack when I checked my sisters’ room because I forgot they were at our brothers house. My dad also still wasn’t home so I was just sitting home alone on the living room floor watching ‘Nick at Night’ with a caked up bloody forehead eating cold leftover spaghetti. 

I knew my dad had come home because I heard the keys turning in the door but I was too tired to move. 

I should’ve moved. 

By the way the door was slammed shut I could tell he was in a bad mood. And what’d he do when he was in a bad mood? Take it out on me. 

I don’t remember what happened. I just know he said I looked like a whore and I probably got heated and blacked out, but I do know I was in immense pain and my nose was bleeding and the police were on their way. 

Only two things could come from my dad calling the police: I get sent back to the Psych ward or I get arrested. I wasn’t about to stick around to find out which one was going down. 

I grabbed my skateboard and took off. Technically he did kick me out so he couldn’t say I ran away. 

I can’t exactly recall how I remember where he lived seeing as I hadn’t been there since his girlfriend died. 

I was going to knock but I knew he never actually opens the door. I went around to the back and started banging on the window and I’m sure looking at this from an outsider's view it must’ve looked like I was breaking in. Which I’m not sure that I wasn’t. I could see his shadow. 

“Open the fucking door, Wade!” I yelled from the door I could see his light was on. 

He sleepily strutted down to the door and slid it open. 

“What do you- Oh my god you look terrible,” He stated. 

“Oh really? Thanks, I didn’t notice,” I spat back pushing past him. 

I popped down on the couch. 

“I need somewhere to stay for a minute” I said once I was settled in. 

He moved over to me and grabbed my face but I pushed his hands away. 

“I’m fine,” I lied “Can I stay here though?” 

“Did you really think I’d ever say no?”

He examined my face again 

“Did your dad do this?” He asked. 

He took my silence for the answer that it was. 

“Do you want me to kill him?” He asked as what I thought was supposed to be a joke but I was scared to answer yes cause I knew there was a chance he actually would.

He was never very fond of my dad from the moment he’d met my mom. Wade was always trying to keep my mom away from him.

If only she’d listened. 

“Yes, I was joking and go clean your face before you get infected” 

Oh well I guess I voiced that thought out loud. 

I promise I was just looking for the first-aid kit but who was I to say no to a 6 ounce bottle of Hennessy. It was almost as if it’s eyes bore into my soul calling after me because it knew I was too weak to resist. 

The sweet burning sensation of it going down my throat was relieving and fun at first until I realized I was turning into my dad. Then it wasn’t so appealing anymore it was just depressing. 

The last thing on earth that I’d want would be anything like him. It was pathetic. 

It was pathetic how I had to throw up because apparently I couldn’t handle my alcohol.

It was pathetic how I couldn’t even bring myself to stand in the shower. 

It was pathetic how I couldn’t even hide the fact I was drunk. 

It was pathetic how I broke down crying in front of Wade. 

It was pathetic how he had to lull me to sleep by stroking my hair. 

It was pathetic because I knew he wasn’t mad.

It was pathetic because it wasn’t anger it was pathetic because it was pity. 

Pity. I hated pity with my entire chest. She always seemed to just hold you down underneath the water knowing you couldn’t breath but the feeling around you made you believe you were floating. It’s like the feeling of drowning in the open sea but it isn’t painful but still you know you’re gonna die but you can’t help but look at how beautiful everything around you is. All the fish, the seaweed, the sunlight shining through the water. But still you’re drowning and you know you’re gonna die so how beautiful can it really be?

Pity. That’s what I saw in the hallways so I knew I must’ve looked terrible because no one bothered to say anything negative about me. Everytime anyone looked at me it was like they knew. They knew. They knew that I had a shitty life and a fucked up family. Of course they didn’t but I couldn’t help the nagging feeling that everyone knew. 

Everyone was looking at me with a glint of pity in their eyes because I knew I looked like I was going to pass out at any moment now, I had bruises everywhere, I had no makeup to cover them up, possibly had a broken rib, and the gash on my forehead was probably still visible under the sweatband.  

Literally everyone looked like they felt bad for me. Except Flash. I never thought I’d say this but, thank God for Flash. The only sense of normalcy I’d experienced all day, was him calling me a witch then acting like it was the funniest thing ever and walking off after I told him to go fuck himself. One thing about Flash is he’s unoriginal. He'll find one “good” joke and use it for the rest of his life. The fact I could put out a lit match in my mouth spread around through a tiktok at some point, and he’s been calling me a witch ever since. I’m assuming the fact I had a pretty gothic style freshman year probably played a part in it too. Major small dick energy right there. 

I was on the verge of passing out and all I really wanted was to go out and get high with my old friends but I can never get what I want. Can I? The universe must really fucking hate me.

I just went to the nurses office and slept all throughout lunch but when I woke it was like I was even more tired than before. 

I wonder if this is what zombies feel like. I couldn’t tell if it was getting bad again or if I was just getting sick because the lines were blurred between a depressive episode and a cold or the flu. However my eyes were watery and my nose was stuffed so hopefully it was the latter. 

The odds had finally aligned in my favor and the class I’d skipped like all year teacher was out. We had my favorite sub who was really just the ISS teacher. Normally I would’ve sat by him and caught him up on all the chisme I had but I felt terrible. So I just leaned on the closest person to me instinctively. Once my brain caught up to my body and I realized. I was laying on Peter's shoulder. I shot it and immediately apologized. 

“Oh no, you’re fine I don’t mind,” he said. 

Well okay then. I think I slept at least 10 minutes in every single class today. Which is good I’d need it cause I forgot I promised my brother I’d babysit today. 

After I sent Wade a text that I probably wouldn’t be back in his house for a while. I went to my brother's house. Sometimes I’m jealous of him for getting to escape our dad and live in an actual nice area.  He literally has a house. Like he has his own property, no landlords or anything.  Pros of him having a different mom I guess. However he needs to stop having kids. Like yes I love my niece and my nephews however they can be the biggest pain in the ass. 

“I get off at like 11, so make sure they don’t break anything or die thanks, and you know where everything’s at, so,” He said, giving me a hug before walking towards the door but right before he opened it he turned around with a smile on his face. 

“Oh and don’t get my kids high,” 

I rolled my eyes trying to keep the edges of my mouth from turning into a smile. I lost that battle. 

“Yeah, yeah whatever asshole,” I flipped him off. 

I went into the room where the youngest child was sleeping. Taylon, he was about 1 I believe. At least I wouldn’t have to worry about him for a while. I made it back to the front room where the two trouble makers Kaitlyn and Jason. Kaitlyns the oldest at 4 years old and Jason at 2. Although I don’t think Kaitlyn has ever gotten in trouble like ever because she’s a huge daddy’s girl. 

I had like 36 missing assignments for Physics and about 4 things of homework one test to study for, a partnered project to work on, still had to go two decathlon practice 3 days a week, and a flashdrive to get past the firewall of. God could I use some adderall right now. 

By distracting the kids in the room with me with the Cocomelon channel. 

I’d put my headphones on and nodded along to my music and actually got two homework assignments done in a relatively short time before the screaming started. I went to get Taylon who’d woken up because he peed. I changed his diaper but he was still crying. 

I truly did not have time for this. I fed him and everything. Thank God the Cocomelon was still distracting the other kids. Whoever made that channel needs a raise. I could not get him to stop crying for more than 5 minutes. I found if I held him he’d stop but I didn’t have the time to just sit around holding him. 

I gave him my phone and let him play with that which shut him up. 

Then Kaitlyn decided to come and pester me about food. I made peanut butter jelly sandwiches, but they decided they didn’t want them after I’d already made them. So here I was making spaghetti with a toddler on my hip and doing homework at the same time. 

I’d actually gotten used to all this multi tasking that’s when I heard a knock at the door. 

I put the spoon back in the pot and closed my textbook heading over to the door. 

I open the door to Peter standing there. 

“Uh Hello?” I asked more than said. 

“Uh, yeah hi, we were supposed to work on the project?” 

“Oh shi-” I almost said then remembered I was holding a kid. “Sorry I forgot,” If we're being completely honest I don’t remember anything from school that day nor do I remember telling him to come here but I wasn’t gonna send him away. 

“Well you can come in” I announced stepping towards the side of the door. 

“Sorry about the chaos” I gestured to everything. ”You can go sit on the couch, I’ll be right over” 

He did just that and sat his backpack on his lap. 

“Jason, Kaitlyn bebé ven a buscar tu comida” 

( Jason Kaitlyn baby come get your food) 

They made their way over still attached to the tablet. 

“I thought your dad said no tablet at the table?” I said. I wasn’t really going to take it away, I was just teasing. 

“I thought you were fun tía,” Jason shot back. 

“I am fun!” I said fake hurt and they both giggled. 

I slid the plates across the table towards them. “Here eat,” 

“¿Es tu novio de ahí?” Kaitlyn asked looking over at Peter. 

(Is that your boyfriend over there?)

“No he’s not, but can you watch your brother for me for a little bit?” 

She nodded. I shifted Taylon off my hip and slipped him into his high chair and gave him a bag of chips. 

Plopping down next to Peter I clapped my hands.

“Okay sorry about the wait, so what do we need to do?” 

After explaining the project to me we’d gotten half of it done and Taylon was napping again and everyone else was quiet and watching TV. We probably could’ve finished the whole thing if we hadn’t gone on so many tangents. Peter was actually good at explaining things. 

We talked about literally everything from favorite flavors of starburst to life goals and shit. I don't know what I want in life actually. It’d be cool to go to college but it’s expensive and no one else in my family has been. 

When it got late Peter announced that he had to go. 

“Alright let me walk you out,” I pushed up off the couch.

“You’re really smart, I know you don’t think that but you are,” he said almost out of nowhere once we were out the door. I could feel my face heat up. This is a moment I was thankful for my melanin allowing me not to blush. 

“Thank you, you’re not so bad yourself, Parker,” 

“So we're doing this same time tomorrow right?” 

“Yes, that’s the plan,” 

For the past week I’d convinced my brother to let my babysit everyday so I could still hang out with Peter. I never thought that we of all people could be friends. Before this he was so like “Peter” just way too much. Once you get to know him he’s not that bad. We’d finished the project and I still hadn’t done any of my other work but by the power of adderall I’d gotten into the flashdrive. I was too scared to check anything in it, but I did erase Black Cats name from the police station records. 

It’d been at least three more days and I hadn’t done any work. I hadn’t talked to Peter or MJ or anyone else either. The one other human I’ve had contact with is Wade. Even with me living at his house it was still minimal. I hadn’t gotten much sleep because adderall keeps you up at all hours of the day but I don’t think I could survive without it. 

I knew I had to be walking. I was walking because I had to. I mean I was walking and I had no intention of stopping. I was getting major deja vu. This exact place felt so familiar.

Oh- that’s why.

I was in the projects where I used to live. I was off in Bronxchester off of 156th St. Ann’s Avenue. I hate this place so much.

I hated it.

I hated it. 

I hated it. 

Having to live in a rat infested one bedroom apartment sleeping cramped up on top of my siblings was literally the worst time of my life. The shitty school University Heights where half the girls were pregnant. Not to mention my dad was on a fucking rage rampage all the time cause he couldnt get a job as a felon. 

I was still walking though. I knew I was going somewhere. Not sure where until I’d gotten near the Hartz chicken on the end of the street. That’s where I was going. I knew I was meeting up with my friend. How could I forget that? I was about to cross the street until someone in a grey van rolled down their window sticking out a gun.

I knew she was gonna get shot. There was nothing I could do to stop it. Yet still I was screaming at least I was trying to. I couldn’t find my voice. 

By the time I could it was too late.

I’d seen her. The bullets piercing her skin would be something seared into my brain forever. And as fast as the car came it was gone. 

Then I was running. I was running to get to her because I could still help her. I had to.

She was bleeding and there was too much blood. It was everywhere. I remember my brother told me if someone is ever bleeding out you need to stop the blood. 

I could barely see because my tears were clouding my vision. I was pushing down on her stomach screaming for someone to call 9-1-1. Just to help. 

“You’re gonna be okay,” I remember saying it over and over again I don’t know if I was trying to convince myself or her.. 

The police got here right after I’d watched her eyes gloss over just because that’s how it works in Melrose. Yes she was gone but she was only the first of many. The police had never done anything for me before so why would they start now. 

They had to pry me off her. They couldn't, I had to help, I had to… I had to help. She didn’t like to be alone. Yeah sure she’d done bad things but she didn't deserve this. She was just a kid. I was just a kid. They took her phone while I was screaming not to touch her.

 They asked for my parents' information. I didn’t want to tell them, I didn’t want my dad. I don’t wanna see him. I just wanted my friend back. They loaded her into the back of the ambulance. I

 knew they were driving away. I was running and screaming. I could feel people staring. I knew they were looking at me. I knew they knew. I didn’t care, I had to run. I had to get her. A pair of hands grabbed me from behind and I started thrashing. 

I couldn’t, I can’t, I had to help, I had to help her. I was still screaming and my throat was sore. Her blood was everywhere, it was all over me and I couldn’t I couldn’t help her. I couldn’t help myself. I was scared. 

“Hey,” I felt myself being shook from behind. “Hey!” 

I turned around to Wade’s familiar face. 

“I’m sorry for waking you, I know it’s dangerous or something like that but you were just screaming and I got worried,” 

Wasn’t supposed to wake me?

“I was,” my voice was small I sounded 5 I felt 5 “I was sleeping walking?” 

“Yeah you were”  he confirmed, leading me to one of the stools by his kitchen island. 

He sat me down, walked off and got me a glass of water. I didn’t realize how bad I was shaking until I tried to bring the cup to my lips. 

He brought a towel to the side of my arm dabbing at it. The blood dripped from the side of my wrist all the way down to my elbow. 

“What’d you cut yourself on?” He asked and I shrugged my shoulders. 

“You know they never even said her name?” I said after we sat in silence for a moment. 

“What?” 

“Rose you know my friend,” 

“Oh…” he said as the realization of who I was talking about settled in. 

“Yeah her, they never said her name no one said it around me because they felt I was gonna break, they all just looked at me like I was made out of glass, I don’t even know how people knew I was there. But I was- I was just so angry, ”  

I waited to see if he was going to say anything but he didn’t. He was just going to listen, no jokes to lighten the mood just listening. 

“Even on the news. To everyone outside of St Ann’s she was just a ‘14 year old girl caught up in gang violence fatally shot’ they used a terrible picture of her too. It made my blood boil that, that was all she got, Then I realized that’s just how it was for us and the only way I was making it out the hood was if it was 6 feet under,” 

My mom used to say that’s what they did for black people, used a picture of them looking ‘hood’ some people call it a thugshot. They use a picture that makes them look mean and aggressive. She was neither of those things she was the nicest person I ever knew. She just got caught up in the gang mess because it was the only family she had.  

“I’ve never talked about this before, but I feel like everyone just forgot about her like it’s only been 2 years and I’ve never heard anyone say her name. At least not around me” I ran my finger on the tattoo of a rose. “This was the first tattoo I’d ever gotten I did it myself so it’s kinda shitty but I feel like it keeps her memory alive, because if no one else was gonna do it and If wasn’t gonna then who would you know?” I trailed off for a second. Then noticed he was in the Deadpool suit just without the mask. 

“Where are you going?” I asked. 

“Now I think you know me well enough to know I’m not telling you that,” He smiled and I smiled back weakly. 

“You’ll be okay though?” He asked. 

“Now I think you know me well enough to know I’ll be okay,” I turned his own words against him. 

I glanced back down at the tattoo and I remember looking over the tattoo on my finger for you it means merely nothing. Just another girl getting another basic tattoo. For me it means everything. It was the way I fought back. It was my first ‘fuck you’ to everyone to everything. It was my best friend. It was my first love. So to you I’m just another girl with another basic rose tattoo but to me. To me? It’s the way I remember it’s the way I keep my friend with me. It’s the way I’d make sure I couldn’t forget the unforgettable. Roses are delicate and fragile but they’ll hurt you when you try to pick them. So even the most beautiful of flowers would defend itself if it came to it. To you my rose tattoo is just a flower. However, to me Rose was the most beautiful human this world had ever seen.

Art had to be my favorite subject. Solely for the reason I’ve never had a non chill art teacher, but today it was Physics which is usually my least favorite class. 

Only because the class made me feel like my day was turning around. 

MJ was standing next to me when I opened by locker and loudly exclaimed 

“Yes!” 

“What?” She turned to me “What is it?” 

“Sorry for scaring you, it's nothing. I just found some candy” I held up the Push Pop “See?” 

“Oh if you don’t show up to practice today they’re kicking you off the decathlon team, and make sure you get to class on time though,” 

“Of course when have I ever been late,” 

She gave me a look that had “really?” written all over it. 

“Okay don’t answer that question but I’m going, now you need to get to class you have a test to take,” 

I’d taken the test already because I had Harrison’s class on A day, but MJ wasn’t the type to cheat. She was smart enough and didn’t need my help.

She was very smart but she wasn’t smart enough to know the Push Pop wasn’t really a push pop at all. 

It was a cart that I thought I’d lost. It was just hidden in an empty Push Pop. Nightmares made me stressed and I know the perfect way to relieve stress. I know many actually such as (good) sex, running, fighting, throwing knives at shit, and weed. Luckily for me this is the last one. 

So here I was sitting in the back of the class by the farthest window away from Peter with a “Push Pop” in my mouth and my head down on the desk. I never really paid attention in class but today we were just watching some documentary so I didn’t have to. 

One of the students office workers came in and gave a note to the teacher and I figured it was about the new student I heard some of the students talking about here and there. I didn’t think anything of it until. 

Briana walked in behind Principal Morita. Briana was my best friend from elementary through middle school and the first half of freshman year before I switched schools. She acted... I didn’t wanna say ghetto but you could definitely tell she was from Melrose if you were from there. I can’t blame her with her dad being a leader to the local set and all. 

The teacher told her to introduce herself to the class and she kept it short and sweet. Then she was told to find a seat. I waved her over and she sat next to me. 

“I thought you’d forgotten about me,” She said. 

I laughed 

“As if, you’re the most extra person I know,” I said, taking another hit. 

“First of all fuck you second of all give me a hit,” I smiled handing the “Push Pop” over to her.

”Don’t you dare get caught.” 

She stuck her head under the table lightly blowing out her mouth then inhaling before the vapours could go too far out. 

“So where you been at? Haven’t heard from you in a minute,” 

“Been busy with school shit, but I’ve been around,” I responded taking the “Push Pop” from her again. 

“How’s your dad?” She asked. I just gave her an incredulous look and went.

“How’s your dad,” 

“Same old same old,” 

We spent the rest of the class with her catching me up on the people from our crew and reminiscing. Also might be good to mention we finished half the cart. So I was bugging. We both were. I would not have remembered to go to the decathlon meeting if it weren’t for MJ reminding me again. I didn’t really care for the team. I was just an alternative and I was only doing it so I could pass Mr. Harrington’s class because of the  extra credit. 

Thank God Peter wasn't at the meeting. I hadn’t talken to him since we turned in our project last week. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to talk to him per se. I could just feel myself getting closer to him and I didn't have time for more friends. Because everyone I end up loving leaves me. The more people you let into your life the more people you give the chance to leave. Seeing as I was ‘Thorn’ I probably shouldn’t get close to Spiderman anyway. 

Flash was talking about Briana. He didn't say her name directly but I knew he was talking about her. Since he was talking about the new girl. He talked shit about everyone, so I don’t know why this made me as angry as it did. It just rubbed me the wrong way but it did. Seeing as I naturally gave zero fucks and had no impulse control. I definitely had way less control over myself when high. So before I knew it I’d punched him in the nose. 

“Y/N!” Liz and MJ yelled simultaneously. 

“What the fuck?” Flash screamed, holding his face. 

“Fuck you! Fuck you! Fucking daddy’s money ass bitch,” I pointed in my face. 

“Y/N enough, go to the office,” Mr. Harrington said. 

I could hear Flash calling me crazy as I walked out the room. Which put a smile on my face. The weird thing about principals is that the more you get in trouble the more they like you and the less harsh your punishments. I only got a week of detention which wasn’t too bad but that stupid “so you got dentention” video of Captain America was gonna get extremely annoying. 

I was right it’d only been two days and every time I heard it I wanted to rip my head off. By the third day Peter and MJ had both joined me. 

MJ didn’t even actually have detention she never did; she just liked to “draw people in despair” or whatever it was that she said. Today she was drawing Peter. It was surprising to see him here.  I was scrolling through tiktok. I was going to say something to him but what would I even say?

I grew some balls and I’d said hi. It was just small talk but we still spoke nonetheless. The week was going by so fucking fast. Tomorrow’s the day we’re going to Washington. I did have to spend a lot of my saved money though. I’d spoken to my sisters and they said dad was sober now and he wanted me to come home. Which I’m not sure if I believe. I mean I know he’s sober. I talked to him too but how long would that last. How many times has this happened before? I don’t have time to worry about him. 

It seemed like I had only blinked and now I was on the bus to D.C. Now for the next couple of days I gotta stay in a hotel room. Nothing out of the ordinary for me, except now I get to stay with MJ and Bri. I don’t know how I managed to convince Mr. Harrington to let her come. 

Peter had almost missed the bus but showed up last minute. Liz was drilling people and MJ was sitting near her participating so I had the seat to myself. Bri was behind me on facetime with her boyfriend who just happened to be my ex. None of it was awkward though since we only dated for like a week and decided we were better off as friends. If we were being honest I was so tired. I felt like shit. Listening to sad music when sad is a set routine of mine so I was listening to Violent Crimes and staring out the window before I knew it I had drifted off to sleep. 

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