#which means to be a proper part of the family your first name have to contain the motif of plant to be the part of a family

[lcvclywon]

─── ⋆ HE WAS A JOCK, AND SHE DID BALLET

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Jake sim was a loser. Frat boy persona and charismatic antics aside, the moment Jake was alone with a girl he would freeze. Which explains his track record of having only slept with one girl all throughout college. That was until, you came in: Decelis' top ballerina and prized possession. Following a drunken one night stand and some (shitty) advice from his friends, Jake hopes you could help him out.

pairing ── jake x female reader

genre ── strangers to lovers, fwb (no smut tho!), college au, obvious x oblivious, denied feelings, veryyy lengthy fic

wc ── 16.6k

featuring ── jay, heeseung and sunghoon of enhypen, kazuha and yunjin of lesserafim, yuna and ryujin of itzy, seunghan of riize, soobin of txt, karina and winter of aespa, jisung and hyunjin of stray kids

warnings ── mentions of sex and hooking up, implied sex, suggestive at some parts, cursing, mentions of underage drinking, mentions of family issues, yn is kinda mean and bitchy (i tried to base her off of jo yi seo so!), mentions of crying and breaking down, mentions of blood and periods, kms jokes used, mentions of food, mentions of kissing, use of the word whore once i think, jake and yn arguing a lot

DISCLAIMERS! i'm not trying to sexualize jake nor any other idols, this is a work of fiction

Beep beep beep!

Groggily you startled open rubbing your eyes trying to locate where the hell that blaring alarm sound was coming from. Finally finding the small slim black clock atop the nightstand you muttered a string of curses below your breath, slamming your hand down on it putting a stop to the shrieking rings. You immediately closed your eyes and attempted to lull yourself back to sleep pulling your black comforter over your head, arm grabbing for the pillow beneath you then- wait, you don’t own black comforters? 

Neither did you own a black alarm clock (not to be rude but who the hell even owned alarm clocks in this day and age?). Slowly you realised, you didn’t own any of this…fuck. 

Looking around trying to collect your thoughts you scanned the room to try and get a clue of which dude your drunken self managed to have a one-night stand with this time. Noticing a sleek leather wallet on the nightstand next to the alarm clock, you immediately grabbed it trying to see if there was a student ID, driver's licence, hell anything. Imagine your surprise when the first thing you saw was none other than a Decelis student ID laminated and shining with the name Jake Sim printed on it. Oh shit.

You muttered strings of curses under your breath, did you seriously have a one-night stand with Jake Sim? The proclaimed loser of the Decelis Soccer Frat? The same dude who had the reputation of trying (and failing) to let alone hold a proper conversation with the girl's gymnastic team? That Jake Sim? You scoffed under your breath, god you couldn’t believe this. Fuck you seriously needed to get a hold of your drinking problem. 

“Oh, you’re up” oh great. You were too busy trying to figure out how you got yourself into this problem that you failed to notice that said problem was standing there leaning against the bathroom door frame right in front of you. 

Whipping your head up you were greeted with the sight of Jake Sim, toothbrush in mouth, dishevelled mess, awkwardly smiling right at you. “Uh, Hi Jake.” you looked around awkwardly trying not to stare at him since he was practically half naked “Could you um, put on a shirt?” 

“Yeah, you’re kinda wearing it though…” 

You glanced down to see that you were indeed wearing his shirt, the large oversized plain black tee was so big it hung over you like a dress. 

“Right.” you said in an exasperated sigh walking past Jake into the bathroom with your clothes in hand to change

“Uh do you want breakfast? Tylenol? Are you hungover?” He was only met with the door shut in his face. 

“Yeah uh” you called out, muffled and in between grunts trying to change into your clothes as fast as possible, “No, not really! I kinda, you know, have to get back to my dorm.” 

“Oh yeah totally,” Jake replied awkwardly fuck how do you even talk to someone you just had a one-night stand with? Jesus, how did Heeseung do this shit. “Here.” you said opening the door to hand him his shirt. 

“Ah, thanks” Jake said quietly as he draped the shirt over his body. He stood there still brushing his teeth as he watched you pack your things up, shooting your head back to ask “Are the other guys still here?” 

“Nah, they all left to practise earlier” he replied watching you let out a slightly relieved sigh as you stood in front of his mirror tying your hair into a loose ponytail and touching up your makeup slightly “So…” he attempted to start before being cut off by you.

“Yeah um, thanks for whatever last night was Jake. Can’t really remember most of it, I’m sure it was good,” briskly lacing up your shoes you mentally cursed yourself for deciding to wear docs last night, “but maybe let’s not bring this up like, ever.” Finishing off with a tight knot and immediately pouncing up to only be met with Jake’s lost eyes and mouth slightly agape.

“Anyways! I really need to get going now so I’ll see you around ‘kay?” You walked backwards until your hand reached the door handle and turned it. The moment you stepped out you practically ran down the steps, cheeks and ears red, still muttering curses quietly, and regretting all the decisions you made last night. 

And there Jake Sim stood, hopeless as ever, watching the second woman he’d ever had a one-night stand with leave running. Fun. 

Not to be full of yourself but you kinda had a reputation in Decelis, top ballerina, rich mother, the whole shebang. 

And well Jake on the other hand,

Me 

I think I just slept with Jake Sim

Kazuha Nakamura

EXCUSE ME 

Me

Yeah hahaha.. LISTEN I WAS DRUNK IDEK WHY I DID IT

Kazuha Nakamura 

SOCCER PLAYER JAKE SIM? THE FRAT BOY JAKE SIM? THE APPOINTED LOSER OF DECELIS SOCCER TEAM? ARE WE THINKING ABOUT THE SAME JAKE SIM HERE.

Me 

STOP YES THAT JAKE SIM. I KNOW i’m gonna kms 

Kazuha Nakamura 

Okay but was it good at least?

You paused, well it was good, but you shook your head remembering who you were talking about here. I mean it’s not like you and Jake were complete strangers, you went to high school with him, so yeah you knew Jake. But imagine the whiplash you got entering college realising you now attended the same school as Jake Sim the scrawny physics nerd, except now he was Jake Sim, star soccer player who grew up and gained some charisma. However, all you could see was teenage prepubescent Jake who used to rant about Einstein’s law of relativity. 

Yeah, not happening, you thought to yourself closing your phone as you headed into practise desperately hoping to drown out your memories of this morning with endless classical music and exercises. 

Jake however, was still sprawled out on his bed even though it had been hours since you left. Face buried into one of his hands while the other scrolled through your Instagram profile, occasionally letting out annoyed sighs before groaning into his hand. How the hell did he even manage to screw this up.

“Jake, get up. I’m starting to actually feel bad for you” Jay let out at the sight of his friend curled up in agony, watching him with a mixture of sympathy and disappointment painted on his face.

“Dude you don’t get it, she RAN.” Jake cried out loudly sinking even deeper into his bed 

“Okay, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. Maybe she just was startled, and like seriously you couldn’t have been that horri-”

“The one-night stand isn't the problem, the problem is that it was YN!” 

From what Jake could remember you, L/N Y/N, were basically untouchable in high school. I mean head of the dance club, straight A student, and not to mention you were one of the prettier girls that attended school with him; you were practically on a pedestal. The one chance he had to interact with you when he was 1. Not drunk 2. Not surrounded by his friends giving him an extra boost of confidence, he blew it. 

“Okay, so it was YN? So what man, I think you’re overthinking this” Sunghoon chimed in from the back 

“Hey I mean, I think you’re judging the situation way too early dude. If I were you I would see this as an opportunity!” Heeseung declared as he pranced into Jake's room

Briefly looking up from his phone, Jake shot Heeseung a judgemental glare before asking with a scoff “Okay well, since you’re the self-proclaimed expert here, mind letting me in on what you mean by ‘opportunity’”

“Okay listen,” Heeseung said while sitting on the edge of Jake’s bed “Here's what you’re gonna do: you’re gonna go up to her, start small talk, then you’re gonna ask her if you guys wanna do something casual-”

“Are you seriously suggesting I ask a girl to be friends with benefits after she RAN out on me” Jake screeched throwing his pillow at Heeseung (who thankfully caught it) 

“Hey let me finish!” He replied tucking the pillow under his arms “Yeah ask for something casual, and if she was so embarrassed and humiliated as you claim she’d reject you outright, but if not you get a casual fling with a cool girl. What’s not to love?” 

“Maybe the part where this whole thing is stupid, ” Jake grumbled, adjusting himself to sit upright to face Heeseung “, and why would I listen to you exactly?”

“Because a) as you said I am the expert,” Heeseung said before tossing the pillow under his arms back at Jake “and b) you genuinely need to gain some experience talking to girls. And this gives: you said experience, no strings attached!”

Jake leaned back on his headboard sighing to look up at the ceiling. God this was stupid, Heeseung seriously just wanted to make a fool out of him. How much experience did Jake seriously need, couldn’t he do that without this whole thing? I mean he had plenty of other girls to talk to right? Well…wrong. I mean, you couldn’t be that embarrassed, could you? What other chances did he have, hell this was the second person he’d ever slept with since entering college (an astounding fact even to Jake). Was it worth a shot? 

“Fine.” Jake replied with a sigh. Fuck he was really doing this.

Closing the door behind you, your hands fiddled through your bag trying to find your pastel pink airpods, ready to blast music in your ears after a long chemistry exam. Putting them on, finger hovering over the play button, you were suddenly interrupted by a small tap on your shoulder. Turning around to see the one person you were trying to avoid all week, Jake fucking Sim.

“Oh Jake, I didn’t know you took chem?” 

“Yeah, I didn’t, well last year I didn’t…but I had to bump up my GPA a bit so I thought chem would be easy enough. But it’s,” Jake replied looking up and recalling the questions of that harrowing exam he just took “Yeah it’s ass.”

You let out a slight chuckle, well he’s funny at least. “Yeah, that test was not my best work…”  

Jake grinned at your comment, speeding up a bit to match your pace. “Hey wanna go grab some coffee?” His words laced with nervousness “I’ll pay! Well, I was the one who suggested it so I really should be paying, shouldn’t I… Anyway, my treat.”

And that’s how you found yourself seated across from Jake sipping an iced americano, legs crossed, looking around awkwardly, in dead silence. 

Jake had tried to start some small talk but was met with nothing but concise and quick answers from you. Fuck you Lee Heeseung, he mentally cursed. “So..” he awkwardly started “How was your weekend?” 

“I think you know how my weekend went Jake” you said in between sips 

“Oh, right.” Jake said remembering how it was just this Sunday when you booked it out of his apartment. “Uh about that-”

He could barely finish his sentence before you rushed to reply “I thought we weren’t going to bring that up”

“Yeah but-” 

“Listen, Jake” you let out with a sigh, placing your drink down on the table in front of you “You’re like, a nice guy and all. But I just really really can’t do relationships right now, like I’ve got a lot going on with ballet- seriously my mom is on my fucking ass about recitals…”

You realised you were rambling and looked down after briefly pausing “Anyway, you’re seriously great. I’m just not looking for anything serious right now an-”

“Me neither” Jake cut in nonchalantly while nodding diplomatically and taking a sip of his drink

“Yeah, an- wait what?”

“I mean, I’m not looking for anything at the moment either. That night was nice, I had fun” Jake explained while fiddling with the paper wrapper of his straw “And if you haven’t noticed I kinda don’t have a lot going on with me right now” 

You took a moment to register what he just said before deadpanning “Are you trying to use me for sex.” 

“What no!” Jake exclaimed a bit louder than he realised, making a few heads turn “Um, no I’m not. Seriously. I’m not a douche, I’m just…I don’t know how to really- talk. To women at least… I was hoping, well I was told, having casual hookups would fix that. Like, exposure therapy, I guess?” 

This man seriously did not just describe hooking up with you as exposure therapy. 

“You can totally decline! I was just suggesting it because a friend told me to, oh wait fuck you didn’t want anyone to know. Sorry, Jay, Heeseung, and Sunghoon know…I seriously didn’t mean to tell them it just slipped out and- yeah sorry. Uh well, Heeseung suggested it so…” Jake rambled on with his hand absently reaching for the nape of his neck, only to be met with your blank expression, mouth slightly agape, and iced americano in hand. God your face was practically a human adaptation of the Windows error screen. 

“Ummm” you trailed off playing around with the straw in your drink. Well nobody’s ever asked you to be friends with benefits, so your brain was admittedly still buffering. “Don’t you think it’s a little…weird? I mean we’ve known each other since high school, like granted we didn’t talk but- yeah you know? And like I’ve just, never done this before. Like ever.” 

“I mean I haven’t either,” Jake paused to put down his drink “Worth a shot though right?” 

Jesus Christ were you seriously going to be friends with benefits with the physics nerd? You mentally weighed out the pros and cons of his little proposal. It wasn’t like the last time was bad or anything, you just couldn't shake off the image of sixteen-year-old him at the back of the physics classroom playing with the Newton’s cradle while your teacher lectured on about waves. Recalling this you looked up at Jake sitting in front of you right now, he still had the same face but his features matured, his body was more built (probably all the training) and you couldn’t deny that even with him nervously picking at his fingernails…he definitely did grow up well. 

“I’ll-” you said with a slight sigh “I’ll get back to you on it Jake.”

“You’ll get back to him on it?! What is this a corporate meeting?” Your roommate Zuha said in between handfuls of chips.

Eyes shifting to the side to snap a dirty glare at her, you sighed in frustration before joining her atop your lofted bed. Kazuha and you were complete opposites: she was arguably way more bold than you and had an impressive list of friends spanning across the three different universities that neighboured Decelis. To be honest meeting her when you were six at ballet lessons might have been the sole reason you were able to get through university with a thankfully active social life. Truly you didn’t think your bond over Ever After High dolls would take you so far; but there you were in your second year of university, lounged across your mattress while she berated you for your lacking conversational skills.

“Hey! I was trying to be polite for your information,” you defended whilst burying your head into your pillows 

“I mean why not?” Zuha asked with indifference 

“Oh I don’t know, maybe because we went to high school together, he was and still is a huge dork, and he’s Jake Sim. Yeah just a thought.” you snapped back while digging your hands deeper into Kazuha’s bag of chips

“Well to me those all sound like pros.” she had reached in to grab a fistful of chips before munching on them between sentences, “Plus what’s the big deal, you hooked up once why can’t you do it again” she asked, tugging away the bag from you as it reached near emptiness. 

God you wished it was that easy. You sometimes envied how little she thought of things. 

“Yeah, I guess…” your hands reach for the ends of your hair, twisting them around your fingertips. “Okay but how do I even get back to him on it?” 

“Yeah well your first mistake was responding with that, but like just text him? We’re not living in the fucking 19th century, sms exists.”

“Yeah okay, am I just supposed to send ‘Hi Jake! So after much consideration, I am now getting back to you on it! And yes I would totally love casually fucking you xoxo yn!!’” you replied sarcastically 

“Okay, you know that’s not what I mean. If you’ve got the general premise down, just send it. Not like you’re opposed to it so…” Zuha said handing you your phone with her Calbee chip dust-covered fingers. 

Taking the phone and wiping the grime off, you opened your chat with Jake. Typing and retyping over and over again trying to form the perfect message your finger hovered over the send button while you battled your internal warfare. 

Too immersed in the constant back and forth fogging your mind you failed to stop Zuha from taking the phone from your grasp and sending the message for you.

“KAZUHA NAKAMURA. UNSEND THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW” you frantically cried out ripping the phone from her hands, you scrambled for the unsend button but were disappointingly greeted with a notification at the top of your screen. 

Jake Sim (Hookup)

Cool! So this Friday?

What the hell did you just get yourself into

Sure enough, Friday came and you found yourself stretched across Jake Sim’s bed dressed in one of his oversized shirts. God, you didn’t think you would be here again. Mindlessly scrolling through Instagram while Jake pulled a grey hoodie over his body before adjusting himself next to you, subtly inviting you to lay your head on his shoulder. (Obviously, you didn’t get the hint)

Putting down your phone to the side, your hands reached to fidget with the seams of his sleeves. 

“Do you-” you were cut off by the embarrassingly loud rumble of your stomach.

“Oh, are you hungry?” Jake glanced down, eyes widened and head slightly cocked to the left. 

“Um, kinda..” you responded, god wasn’t he supposed to be the awkward one. 

“Do you want some ramen?” He said propping himself a bit more before mentally cussing at himself realising the implication of his words “I mean, not in like- that way. Well I guess kinda in that way, we did just-”

“Ramen sounds great!” you quickly cut in before he could finish his sentence, ripping the comforters off your bodies already heading towards the door. 

To your surprise, Jake Sim was a pretty good cook. Well, that was a bit of an exaggeration considering it was just Chapaguri and steak, but hell was that one good bowl of Chapaguri. Spooning the noodles into your mouth, Jake placed a cut of steak onto your plate. Weird. That was, thoughtful. Probably a force of habit you reasoned to yourself. 

“So um can I ask,” you paused to wipe your mouth “Am I seriously the only other girl you’ve slept with, or is you sleeping with only 1 person before me just a rumour?”

Jake’s arm stretched towards the nape of his neck while the other placed another piece of steak onto your plate before answering. “Uh, I mean in college, yeah. I haven’t had much luck seeing too many people. Kinda the reason you’re here” 

“Well I guess that’s not too surprising” 

“Oh yeah?” Jake asked tauntingly leaning back into his chair “What’s that supposed to mean hm?”

“I’m just saying I’m not surprised that the dude who spent his free periods researching Quantum mechanics can’t pull.” you teased back with a sly smile 

“Uh-huh,” he replied putting another piece of food onto your plate “Well I’ll have you know I managed to hook up with at least like- 2 people in high school” 

“Yeah and I don’t do ballet.” you came back snarkily 

“Hey! I can even list them for you if you don’t believe me.” Jake chuckled slightly while adjusting the collar of his hoodie

“Yeah, and I bet it was real hard remembering that list of 2 people” Laughing in response Jake reached for a can of coke before opening it and placing it in front of you.

Again, weird. As you got talking you realised Jake Sim maybe wasn’t as awkward or dorkish as everyone claimed him to be. Okay well partly your fault for believing assumptions and jumping to conclusions, but after the initial nerves wore down he was pretty chill. Which led you to wonder, “Hey why don’t you talk to girls? I mean you’re pretty much a natural at this.” 

“Oh.” Jake replied a bit flattered, “Well, I don’t think I’m a natural, like when I tried to talk with Minyoung after we hooked up it was a mess.” hands now fiddling with the skin at his fingertips, “I guess with you it’s sorta, comfortable?” 

Your actions came to an instant halt, comfortable? You shook it off thinking it was because you guys knew each other beforehand, yeah definitely that. 

“So you did manage to get with one of the gymnastic girls.” you said trying to divert the topic

“Well not really, she kinda ghosted me after that..” Jake answered looking down at the marble countertop

“Why?” 

“Well as you said, I can’t really pull” you giggled in response while still forking down mouthfuls of chapaguri 

“Hey, don’t laugh with your mouth full.” Jake scolded before taking his thumb to wipe the corner of your mouth, an action you once again brushed off to be a force of habit. Still, you couldn’t deny, if you actually did like Jake in that way you would’ve folded instantly.

He smiled slightly and ruffled your hair before taking your empty bowl and beginning to wash it, weird.

Hooking up with Jake became more natural and common as time went on, it somewhat integrated itself into your routine:

Hook up, go eat, then go about your separate ways. 

Over time you got to know Jake more and more, past his initially dorky interests you learned a few things about him: 

He was a huge dog lover - similarly to you - and had a golden retriever named Layla 

He was surprisingly funny, if he got comfortable with you at least 

Despite being awkward as fuck, he was way more extroverted than you. He just needed to be around one of his friends for that to shine through.

He wasn’t called a star soccer player for nothing, you’d initially never expected scraggly little Jake Sim to win so many medals and trophies in high school. No wonder he got in with a scholarship.

It wasn’t like Jake told you these things outwardly, but you never failed to catch onto how his eyes had a slight glimmer within them when describing his ‘best friend’ who you later found out to be his childhood pet. Or how whenever there was a short silence between you two he took it as an opportunity to crack a small joke. And you knew on a surface level that Jake was a pretty friendly guy, but you just never realised how long his social battery truly lasted; that man had a motor mouth. The soccer thing however was something you always had a slight clue about, in high school most of his lunch breaks and evenings after school would be spent in the field with Jay, Heeseung, and Sunghoon. Back then you assumed he didn’t have anything better to do, so the numerous medals that spanned across the walls of his room were a bit of a shock to you. 

But it’s not like you cared about Jake like that, you were just…observant. 

Jake was nice, it was fun being his friend but you didn’t go out of your way to try and hang out with Jake in real life. Really, it’s not like you guys were close like that. Neither of you bothered to try and cross that boundary, that was until today at least.

“Hey.” Jake said, smiling as he sat down in front of you. Your eyes faltered from their usual unbothered gaze, your pupils dilating a bit in shock. Hell, there are around 200 other seats in the athlete’s dining hall, yet he had to sit in front of you.

Maybe your pastel pink Lululemon jacket was the drawing point, probably so bright it made you the first person he noticed making him sit with you out of convenience, at least you would like to tell yourself that. “Oh, hi Jake. Uh- don’t you have practice? I mean usually I never see you at the dining hall when I come to eat” You slowly realised how stalker-ish that sounded “not like. I’m tracking your schedule or anything like that. don’t get the wrong idea”

Jake let out a breathy laugh in hopes of breaking the awkward tension surrounding the table (he remained unsuccessful) “Yeah, uh practice got cancelled. So I’m here earlier than expected.”

“Cool cool” you let out nonchalantly. And there you were back to square one, the same awkward tension overwhelming the atmosphere. God how could you be this awkward with a guy you basically had a bi-weekly fuck schedule with. “So uh, you going to Soobin’s party this weekend? the whole soccer team is gonna be there, including me” he said the last part in almost a whisper.

“Oh uh, I haven’t really thought about it. Kazuha is going, so I’ll probably go with” You replied still staring down at your measly plate of japchae, barely touched. “Uh I think I should go study-” you frantically said in an exasperated sigh in hopes to remove herself from any more unwanted conversation starters you would have to pull out of her ass.

“But you haven’t even touched your food?” Jake said clearly not getting the hint. But also he was genuinely worried, I mean yeah typically soccer players and ballerinas' diets are obviously different with their portion sizes, but he still took health very seriously. “I’m not that hungry anyway.” you said slowly getting up to leave

“Wait, do you do this often? skip meals?” Jake asked, his eyes glazed over with a concerned expression, one you hadn’t seen before.

“Oh I mean, most times it's not intentional, I get busy with practice”

“Hold on” Jake muttered before getting up and heading outside. Leaving you haphazardly standing up holding your plate of food. You sat down again poking at the unfinished scraps of carrots, “This man cannot take a hint” you muttered. 

Jake then returned pocky and Pocari sweat in hand. “Uh here, it’s good for electrolytes” he said while handing you the bottle “Oh and, eat this after practice or something, you need carbs and sugar”. Slightly taken aback you slowly took both items in hand, a slight warmth forming in the pits of your stomach. “oh you didn’t really have to-”

“I wanted to.” Jake replied cutting you off, suddenly embarrassed at his boldness he absently reached to the nape of his neck (a habit you noticed he did when he was flustered) “Uh anyways, I’ve gotta go to office hours now. But try not to skip meals, it’s not that good for you, you’re an athlete so..” he trailed off mumbling the last bits to himself, all while looking down to the floor. The weird tension in the air was still there but, somehow it was a little more bearable, well for you at least. “Thanks, uh I’ll pay you back-”

“Don’t bother!” he scrambled to say shooting his head up, pushing your approaching hand back. Fuck that reply was way too quick. “Uh, it’s on me! Don’t worry about it really.” slowly backing away he failed to notice how his legs seemed to trample over each other almost knocking himself down. He (thankfully) regained his balance “Bye YN!”

Blinking in what you think is a mixture of disbelief, amusement, and confusion you managed to mutter out a small “Thank you”

Safe to say that interaction left you both pretty embarrassed.

Most times you went to Jake's house it usually ended in lighthearted conversations over a plate of food. However, some nights were just spent as the two of you lay in his bed looking up at his ceiling talking about everything and anything; these were the nights you found yourself enjoying the most. Tonight luckily happened to be one of them. 

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask,” Jake said before settling down next to you “Have you seriously never had a friend with benefits before?” 

“Hm? Why do you ask?” you said before moving to lay between Jake’s legs, head resting upon his thigh. 

“Ah you know, Just curious” He replied looking down at you with a slight smile. Did his eyes always look that pretty?

“No actually, I wasn’t really one for keeping a casual relationship with one person for a long time. I got bored too quickly, not that I’m bored of you. I did have a lot of hookups though, those were a bit more fun” you replied; a small smile formed across your face while recalling nostalgic high school memories. 

“That’s interesting…” you noticed a slight hesitation lingering in his words. 

“Why d’you sound so confused huh” Gently nudging his thigh you laughed. 

“Nothing nothing! I just, you know, didn’t really expect that from you. I don’t know in high school you were kinda- perfect? Like the captain of the dance team, student council secretary, and straight-A student; not to mention you were practically already on the road to Decelis with a scholarship. I didn’t really expect you to…”

“What, be a whore?” you butted in jokingly 

Jake’s hand reached out to run through your hair, grinning softly before responding “You know that’s not what I meant.” 

Chuckling in response your hands reached to fiddle with the ends of your hair. “Kidding, I get what you mean though. I - well my mom - tried hard to keep up the good girl act. But I was a teenager with the whole house to myself and a huge lack of self-discipline so…yeah”

“Was your mom never really there or…” Jake asked looping your hair around his fingers, shit was that too invasive?

Thankfully you responded whilst twiddling with the hem of your (well his) t-shirt. “Uh, no not really, I guess. Well, she was there, but just always working” Jesus why were you telling him this shit, not like you wanted to it was all just kinda- spilling out. “I mean I don’t hold it against her, it’s literally the reason I got to do ballet and attend this school in the first place”

“But?” Jake asked expectantly. Fuck why was he asking you this shit? Did he seriously think trauma dumping would fill the void of intimacy you two shared? 

“No I mean there isn’t really a but- well there kinda is. I don't know, it gets kinda lonely…only child and all. But I know she did it all for my own good, she knows what's best for me” the last part coming out a bit strained, “I just was kinda on my own for a while I guess… that’s probably why she signed me up for ballet classes when I was younger”

“Oh, she was the one who signed you up?”

“Yeah, she was, actually!” voice slightly perking up as you recalled fond memories of six year old you lacing up your first ballet flats, “When I was younger I loved dancing so ballet kinda came naturally to me I guess, but yeah ballet was really fun” 

“Was?” Jake inquired curiously, his head tilting down to meet his glossy eyes with yours. 

“Oh well, I guess it is still kinda fun- but like as I got better at it there seemed to be more expectations from people. It gets kinda stressful you know” you replied with a slight chuckle, hands picking at the skin on your fingers. “It’s partly my fault for not wanting to practise so much anymore, but sometimes it's hard not to notice every little mistake I make when dancing.”

“Well,” Jake began before taking your hand in his and lacing your fingers together “, I think you’re doing just fine. Trust me I’ve never seen a better dancer than you, like you’re seriously amazing”

You giggled slightly while staring at his hand intertwined with yours. Funny, you didn’t think he’d notice that.

“You sure you’re not lying about the whole bitchless thing? Because this,” you said while gesturing to his hand holding yours “, totally not bitchless behaviour” 

“Hey, I never said I was bitchless! Just no girlfriend you know.” Jake laughed nervously , becoming all too aware of his actions. He slowly lets go of your hand. A slight blush formed across his face before he cleared his throat to ask “So what about you, no boyfriend?” 

“Well, I did have one or two. But as I said, I get bored easily” you answered, still twiddling the hem of your shirt “I dumped both of them, not like there was anything wrong with the relationship- I just kinda have this bad habit of running from things when I notice something just slightly goes wrong. Yeah, it’s stupid really I don’t know why I do it.” Trailing off you slowly became aware that you were crossing the imaginary line you established between you and Jake. Wait, what the fuck were you saying? Why were you telling him this? You didn’t tell anyone this shit. No way Jake Sim, the dude who you were casually hooking up with, was going to be the first person you let in on your issues. Nah, not happening. 

“Um anyway! Maybe I should get going now, you have practice anyways.” you sighed, frantically getting up and grabbing your clothes. 

“Oh uh, yeah sure…” Jake said slightly startled, his hand reaching for the back of his neck and scratching it while he tried to look the other way as you changed in front of him (not like his head was in between your thighs a few seconds ago)

He walked you out to the doorway of his apartment, keeping a somewhat awkward distance between you guys as he waved while watching you walk out. 

“Bye!” he called out delayed, giving you a slight jump. 

“Oh, bye!” you said awkwardly facing him, immediately turning back around to  speed walk down the hallway.

For some reason even though you had already left he couldn’t get rid of this slight buzz in his stomach, his heart racing ever so slightly while he felt his cheeks heat up. Fuck I’m an idiot, Jake sighed to himself.

“What do you think? Too much?” you asked Kazuha whilst standing in front of her to show off your outfit. You were trying to dress out of your comfort zone by switching up your usual white tank and low-waisted jeans combo to a black tube top paired with a leather miniskirt. 

“You look the same YN.” your roommate replied stoically “And what are you so nervous for anyways? What, is it because Jake is picking you up?” she added between snickers. 

“What no!” you rushed to respond “And might I remind you that the only reason he’s picking me up is because you ditched on me last minute.” 

“Heyyy, I told you I was sorry! But Yunjin won’t be in Korea for much longer and I promised to have a sleepover with her before she leaves!” Kazuha whined in a pout “Promise, next time I get invited to a party you’re number 1 on my waitlist. I swear” 

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m the only one on that waitlist right now.” you muttered before reaching for your phone after noticing a notification popping up on your screen. 

Jake Sim (Hookup)

Hey I’m waiting outside btw! Also, I brought a jacket just in case you were cold but I realised you might bring your own so uh

Jake Sim (Hookup)

don’t bring a jacket lmao

You smiled to yourself slightly after reading that, to which your roommate seemed to catch.

“Oh lover boy here already hm?” she teased in a playful tone. “Ew god don’t call him that.” you deadpanned before heading out the door. 

Now in all honesty you were perfectly fine with going to the party yourself, Soobin’s apartment happened to be a 15-minute walk away from campus and it’s not like the area was relatively unsafe. However, Jake insisted that he pick you up and drop you off, saying something along the lines of it weighing down on his conscience. You can’t say you weren’t thankful to see him jacket in hand and waiting for you in front of the doors to your dorm after you were unpleasantly greeted by the bitter wind blowing in your face. Totally just grateful for the jacket, no other reason. 

The walk there was filled with the usual lighthearted jokes and updates on your days, nothing new. You grew to truly enjoy these moments with just you and him, it somewhat felt like it was just the two of you and time stopped. It was nice, you never had someone to listen to you the way he did. However, the peaceful moment shared between you two vanished the minute you stepped into Soobin’s apartment. For a while you forgot that Jake Sim, though being called a dork by half the campus, was still a frat boy and admittedly pretty popular. So imagine the whiplash you got when he was immediately dragged away by Jay, Yuna, and Soobin before he could even say goodbye to you. Not like you cared though, you had plenty of other friends.

A couple of hours had passed and the ‘other friends’ in question seemed to disappear one by one as the night went on. Which is how you winded up in Soobin’s living room on the couch, beer in hand whilst scrolling through TikTok. That was before you heard someone clear their throat. Looking up you were met with Lee Heeseung standing in front of you, head cocked slightly to the side. 

“Hey YN, mind if I sit?” he didn’t really wait for your response before plopping himself right next to you.

“Oh, hey Heeseung” you muttered, eyes not leaving your phone. You had talked to Heeseung a couple of times before when you went to meet up with Jake, but you wouldn’t really consider yourself besties with the guy who was the sole reason Jake had even offered to hook up with you. 

“What’s up, are you bored? I assume you didn’t come here to scroll TikTok alone.” He joked with a quick chuckle. 

“Yeah well I would leave but Jake insisted on taking me back home so it feels kinda rude to leave without him. And he’s obviously very,” you shot your head up to glare at the sight of Jake chatting it up with Jay, Yuna, and Ryujin. What happened to the whole ‘bad at talking to girls’ thing now huh? You scoffed before completing your sentence with a grimace “Preoccupied.”

Heeseung seemed to catch onto your change of tone as the next thing he said was, “Don’t worry Jake’s normally just chatty like this when he’s got one of us around, he really really can’t talk to girls otherwise. Well, obviously not you though, actually he can’t shut up about you.” 

Your head perked up at Heeseung's comment “What do you mean?” 

“I mean, the guy can’t stop talking about you even when you’re gone. Like telling us about how cool your recitals looked, your favourite foods, what you guys did that day, hell he brings you into practically anything it’s kinda annoying. ‘Oh YN loves that drink’ ‘Oh can you buy one for YN too?’ ‘Hey, this is YN’s favourite song!’ ‘Hey don’t touch that, it's for YN’” Heeseung said in a mocking tone, his hands coming up to mimic small puppets pretending to be Jake.

“Really? You’re probably exaggerating, me and Jake aren’t even that close.” you commented

“Trust me YN, you don’t live with that guy. I feel like I’m even in on your whole friends-with-benefits situation by how much I know about you. Seriously I think he's obsessed-” 

“What’cha guys talking about!” you were too engrossed in your conversation you hadn’t noticed that Jake had left Jay and his friends to come join you. 

You shot a glare at him before tilting your head down at your drink “Oh you know, just keeping myself entertained” you replied before whipping your head up “Since you were obviously, pretty busy.”

Before Jake could defend himself, Soobin drunkenly called out from the kitchen “Hey guys! Who wants to play spin the bottle!” his words slurred as he held up an empty beer can. 

Great, drunk college students and spin the bottle, what could go wrong? 

Hesitantly you and Jake made your way to the circle formed on the floor sitting across from each other while everyone else gathered in.

“Okay, so the rules are: you kiss or you drink. Three shots worth of soju may I mention! Who wants to go first?” Soobin asked gesturing to the bottle

“Oooh me me me!” Yuna replied eagerly before placing the bottle down and spinning it, landing on Jisung. One after the other everyone took turns spinning the bottle whilst the rest of the crowd let out shouts and claps of encouragement. You frankly thought this whole thing was stupid. I mean, spin the bottle? What was this a cheesy highschool movie? The bottle eventually reached Karina, she took it in hand and spun it vigorously.

Karina, god how could you even begin to describe Karina? Yoo Karina was top of her class in rhythmic gymnastics, led the student body org, and not to mention was absolutely drop. dead. gorgeous. You concluded in your mind that anyone who got to kiss that woman would be the luckiest person on earth, but that was before the bottle landed on Jake. 

“Well pucker up loser” Karina said before moving towards Jake to grab his face and press her lips onto his. You tried to cheer and clap with the rest of the group but you couldn’t ignore the dreadful feeling of your heart dropping to the floor. Pulling away from Karina, you couldn’t brush off how Jake’s eyes immediately came into contact with yours causing your pupils to dilate slightly before you shot your head down to the ground. 

Why the hell did you even care this much, wake up YN! It’s Jake, so he kissed another girl, who cares? You guys aren’t even exclusive, pull yourself together! You quickly shook off the awful feeling in the pit of your stomach and joined in with the others chanting “Spin, spin, spin!” as Jake whirled the bottle around with a quick flick of the wrist.

The bottle seemed to spin in slow motion before coming to a reaching its delayed halt and pointing directly at you. Oh fuck. 

You braced yourself for the awkward aftermath of the kiss you were bound to face later tonight, god how were you even supposed to face Jake after this? I mean yeah you guys had sex, but you would argue kissing is far more intimate. Your gaze lingered on jake and you watched how his eyes widened in anticipation, his hand again reaching to the nape of his neck absently while the other grabbed the red solo cup and-

Wait what, Jake was taking the drink?

Let it be known that Jake Sim had an infamous reputation of never drinking at parties, for a while people thought he was heavily religious; until it was revealed by sunghoon that in highschool Jake was unexpectedly a huge party animal and no one could possibly keep him away from a beer. Getting into college, he apparently tried to drop the heavy drinking and decided to take his athlete career more seriously. If you were to take Jake's drink at a party you would find either 1 of 3 things: coke zero, a mixture of random fruit juices from a punch bowl that 80% of the party did not touch, or kombucha (surprising to say the least). Yet there he was, drinking about 3 shots worth of soju all in one go. All to avoid kissing you. great.

A pit formed in your stomach as the loud chants seemed to die down, somehow this made you feel like the world's biggest loser. Was kissing you that bad? Hell he was in between your thighs half the time but he would rather drink than kiss you? Why didn’t he kiss you? Why did you want him to kiss you?

Jake let out a slight groan after downing the drink whole, the circle erupted into laughs and whoas but he could only focus on the one person who hadn’t said anything, the one person who was staring straight at him in what Jake could only assume was a mixture of disbelief and anger. Fuck, this totally did not go to plan. Why was she mad? I mean you didn’t say you were mad, but the look in your eyes somewhat gave it away. Jake thought the last thing you wanted to do was kiss him, I mean this whole time you would preach about how you guys were strictly casual and how you wanted nothing to do with him romantically. Jake thought he would save you the trouble, and partly save himself from the prolonged silences on the walk back to your dorm. It’s not like he didn’t benefit from this too I mean, Jake totally could go without kissing you. It’s not like it was a piece of intimacy your “relationship” lacked, not like it was the one thing he’d been longing for. Yep, totally not. 

You broke the gaze abruptly when you soon realised how long you’d been staring. Fuck did he notice? He definitely did. Your eyes now fixated on the floor while he stared off awkwardly to the side.

“Your turn YN!” Yuna cheerfully said handing her the bottle, her breath reeked of alcohol it was making you dizzy.

“Uh I think I’ll skip, I’ve had enough drinks for tonight” you replied, accompanied by a nervous chuckle. God, why was the room suddenly spinning? “As a matter of fact,” you quickly got up from your position slowly moving away from the circle, “I think I need to use the bathroom, I’ll sit out this round, you guys can continue though”

“Okay!” Yuna responded, obviously she was too wasted to notice the hesitation lingering in your voice.

You quickly stole a glance at the group behind, more so at the man you were sitting across from a minute ago. Lo and behold, Jake was laughing hazily and chanting encouragements with the others as Ryujin and Hyunjin messily made out. His eyes had a shine which was all too familiar to you, his grin was one you recognised countless times before, and to your dismay: he was completely unaffected by the whole situation.

Great, so he couldn’t give less of a fuck. You thought to yourself. Normally this would be a relief to you, I mean you said yourself you wanted something casual, but if that was the case why did you feel so embarrassingly hollow and empty inside?

You groggily stumbled away from the corner of the room and headed over to the kitchen, maybe a drink would drown out the noises of them chanting “Kiss kiss kiss” Pft, what are they grade schoolers? You snatched a red solo cup and started pouring whatever alcohol was closest in reach, vodka, tequila, soju, beer, you did not give a fuck. You downed the drink whole, slightly gasping for air as you polished it off. Grabbing for another bottle, your hands seemed to meet another. Looking up to see who had a shared interest in… absolut vodka? God you hated that shit, but well right now it seemed tolerable, however you were greeted by the disappointing sight of none other than: Seunghan.

God what was Seunghan doing here, he didn’t even fucking go here. To give some context, Seunghan happened to be your last boyfriend; a senior you used to date who at the time was a huge ego boost to you since you were a year younger. But you inevitably broke up with him before he left for university, even though you promised you would try and make things work long distance. Hell who were you kidding, staying with a highschool senior as a college freshman? Who would want to do that? The last excuse you could spit back at his pathetic face while ending things was “You aren’t even a good fuck” safe to say that bruised his ego a bit.

“Hey YN” he looked at you with an expression you can only make out as: egoistic. You wanted to smack that smug grin off his face, but you weren’t really the one with the upper hand here. I mean who wouldn’t smirk at the sight of their highschool ex absolutely fucking hammered at a college party.

“Hi” you replied coldly, his grip on the alcohol bottle slightly loosened, which you took as an opportunity to snatch out of his hand and pour yourself another drink (probably double of what you were originally planning to pour)

“So,” He paused for a second waiting for you to finish drinking “How's it going, what are you doing here?”

“I kinda go here.” you said in between sips “and shouldn’t I be asking you that, you don’t even go to Decelis.”

“Well someone’s hostile” he let out a chuckle, face still smug “Ah yeah, my friend Soobin, actually invited me. Swim team captain, ring a bell?”

“That's nice Seunghan” your face obviously painted that you didn’t really think so. You started to slowly make your way to the bathroom, not knowing how much longer you could stand being in the same proximity of this asshole.

“Is that it?” Seunghan called out expectantly. What the hell did this man want jesus. You could feel your anger just about boiling over, that and the 4 cups of alcohol in your system just about tipped you over the edge”

“What the hell do you want, Seunghan? An apology? You see me after what 2 years and expect to coax an apology out of me? Yeah not happening. I don’t even know what you’re doing here because clearly last time I checked you didn’t go to Decelis. So yeah, I don’t really know what you want from me but if it's an apology or something, sorry to disappoint.”

“Woah woah, calm down there” Seunghan said, arms up seeming to gesture he meant no harm, the smirk on his face displayed otherwise.

You were ready to spit out another insult at him, maybe add a punch into the mixture, until a pair of hands gently grabbed your shoulder. You whipped your head backwards to see Jake smiling awkwardly at Seunghan and scratching the back of his head nervously. “Sorry about that, she's kinda drunk right now so I think we’ll get going!”

You want to retort back that you aren't, but before doing so Seunghan cuts you off “who are you again.” 

Instead of the smug grin that adorned his face earlier, a weirdly serious expression was now plastered across him. Weird. Was he trying to assert dominance or something? You giggled to yourself a bit at the idea, slowly looking up at Jake to see what his response was. Maybe they would have a standoff, battle it out like in the movies. Instead a grin was still shining on his face, except something was off. His gaze looked harsher, juxtaposing the warm smile on the lower half of his face. Something behind his eyes signalled that he wasn’t going to take any bullshit, funny you thought. You weren't used to seeing this side of Jake, it was an amusing sight to say the least.

“Jake her,” he hesitated for a second “boyfriend. But I don’t think that matters really, I've gotta get YN home now” He quickly grabbed your wrist to lead you away and out the door, seemingly a bit too quick that it had you stumbling over your steps, or maybe that was the alcohol talking.

“Woww, look at that you can actually stick up for yourself! You know that was kinda funny, what were you trying to assert dominance or something? Thanks for saying you were my boyfriend though, god I don’t think he would be able to leave me alone otherwise” you said in between chuckles whilst shutting the door behind you, but jake remained silent. Weird, was he just drunk too? 

It’s not like you weren't used to the silence, hell it’s what took up most of your conversations (well lack of conversation more like). You remained quiet until the both of you got back to your dorm, you were weirdly too intimidated to say anything. Not intimidated by him, god no. More so the situation, you’d been used to the awkward silence, the post sex silences, the comfortable silences, but this was a different silence, one you weren’t really sure how to react towards. Once in your dorm, Jake finally said something to break the tension.

“Who was that guy?” he asked, gaze averted down to the floor and hand absently reaching for the nape of his neck, there he goes again you think. ”Seunghan,” you said while pulling over your tube top to change into an oversized shirt, which you realised was one you stole from Jake a while back “, just some ass I dated in highschool, doesn’t really matter.”

Jake's gaze was still stuck on the dorm carpet, his hand now picking at his cuticles. “Was he bothering you? I mean I couldn’t really tell but you looked uncomfortable, so like…yeah I don’t know”

You chuckled, cute you think. Wait fuck did you really just find what he did cute. Did you just fucking giggle. A flustered blush seems to form across your face whilst thinking of your actions. Get a grip YN it’s jake fucking sim, hes an awkward mess, an awkward mess you’re casually fucking. You can’t be doing this.

“Uh, I mean kinda. I was going to punch him so you probably saved me the collateral. Thanks though, it was nice” you said, tucking away your boots still facing away from him; embarrassed at the thought of you being the least bit flustered over his actions.

“Ah…” Jake trailed off. Fuck what was he meant to say now, well he knew what he wanted to say. He wanted to ask if it was weird that he called himself her boyfriend, but you didn’t seem to care so it would be weird if he brought it up now. I mean, not like he cared. a little white lie to save you some trouble, no biggie.

“Are you down to..” you asked nonchalantly, turning your head around to face him. He adorned his typical lost expression, god he was really clueless.

“You know, fuck.” you assumed it was the alcohol in your system talking, you were clearly very tipsy, that plus your pent up frustration from tonight was the perfect mixture for a good hookup. Or maybe you were just plain old horny, probably the case you thought to yourself. Definitely wasn’t the way Jake's hair was a perfect fluffy mess, or how his face seemed to have a slight glow to it (probably the drinks), or his eyes that were weirdly more iridescent than usual, yeah totally not that.

Jake's eyes widened a bit, taken aback by the request but definitely not surprised. “YN you’re drunk,” he said with a sigh, grabbing your shoulders and sitting you down on the edge of your mattress, “I'd love to but, maybe next time?” he said with a gentle grin, his dimples slightly poking out.

fuck was he leaving already? Before he could go any further you quickly grabbed his wrist. Jake, startled, looked back at you like a deer in headlights. Only to be met with an equally as shocked gaze, shit all this alcohol was making your body move before you could even think.

“Uh, can you just…” you wince a bit at the thought of what would come out next, “stay. Just until I fall asleep, I feel kinda…lonely?” The end came out in a mumble as your eyes laid fixated on the floor. A blush formed across Jake's face, but he quickly snapped himself out of whatever haze he was in. She’s drunk jake. It doesn't mean anything.

He plastered on the gentle grin that adorned his face earlier, smiling at her with endearment. “Alright, uhm just scoot over a bit”

Moving awkwardly to the side to make room for Jake on the bed he shortly joined you, adjusting himself next to you moving your head to atop his arm while the other pulled you in closer allowing him to rest his chin on top of your hair. Everything about this moment felt much too intimate to be shared between two people who were just casually fucking. You could feel your heartbeat slightly quicken and your breath hitching in your throat. However as time passed on you began to feel yourself slowly relax into Jake’s touch, allowing yourself to enjoy the feeling of his hand combing through your hair whilst the other reached to trace circles along the small of your back. His warmth next to you felt all too natural, like this was meant to be. Like you weren’t just two strangers who decided to hook up, like you two were everything and more.

“Sometimes I wish this was real” you sighed out, clearly letting the liquor in your system do the talking

“Don’t know how hammered you got but you’re definitely not dreaming right now YN.” Jake said in a low chuckle. Fuck you could listen to his laugh for ages. 

“Not this, I mean us.” 

“Oh.” Jake could feel his body go stiff as heat rushed up to his cheeks. He knew you were drunk, but some part of him hoped this was sober you. 

“You’re too sweet for me sometimes you know? Makes me wish you weren’t my friend and my boyfriend instead, then again don’t think I’m ready for that either. Well sometimes you make me feel like I’m ready, I don’t know, it's weird. Being with you feels so…natural? Like I’ve known you since we were kids- I guess we kinda have known each other for a while, makes me regret not talking to you enough in highschool. You were always pretty cute despite being a dork” rambling on you nuzzled your head closer to his chest. Fuck Jake was practically begging you couldn’t hear the intense racing of his heart. 

“How much did you drink YN?” he stuttered out

“Oh you know, just enough to make me forget everything about that party. Stupid Seunghan ruined my night. You know when you called yourself my boyfriend, yeah I really liked that, some part of me hoped you meant it. I guess I like you a little more than I expected, super stupid right…” you said trailing off as you fell further into your slumber; words slurred as a mixture of drunkenness and exhaustion took over your body.

“You like me?” Jake asked stunned, after garnering no response he tilted his head down slightly to face you. Your face looked so peaceful sleeping he didn’t have the heart to wake you up. How cute, he thought to himself.

“Goodnight YN.” he whispered before pulling you closer to him and dozing off himself. 

As the sun rose, beams of light made its way through the curtains to shine brightly on your face rudely waking you up. You slowly opened your heavy eyelids before stretching out your arms, only to be met with the shocking sight of Jake passed out next to you. 

Jolting up immediately, you had to do a double take to make sure you weren’t seeing things. Unfortunately this wasn’t a dream and you really did wake up next to Jake Sim, this being the second time you’ve done this with no recollection of what happened the night before. Frantically you tried to recall all the events that happened after Seunghan approached you; slowly but surely everything from last night rushed back to you in an instant, including your drunken confession to Jake. 

Fuck fuck fuck FUCK. What the hell was your issue? Why would you say all that? Jesus you seriously needed to stop drinking, you always ended up in Jake’s bed hungover. God could he have remembered anything that happened last night, he couldn't have right? He was probably drunk too, fuck you hoped he was drunk. 

“YN, you’re up already?” Jake said as his hand groggily rubbed his eyes, the other reaching over to your wrist. 

“Oh uh yeah!” you replied, face flushed with embarrassment before you quickly snapped your hand away from his touch “Hey this is weird but did I happen to say anything weird last night, I was like really drunk.” You winced expecting him to answer with a harsh reminder of your drunken words but instead he only uttered a small “Nope, not anything out of the ordinary”

Sighing in relief you let out a small thank god before getting up to go get dressed, Jake shortly following you like a lost puppy. Still yawning out and half asleep he groaned out a small “Hey, what time is it, by the way?” 

“Oh um,” you quickly grabbed your phone to check ���9:30.”

Jakes seemed to immediately wake up, shouting “Oh fuck, I’m late!” He quickly grabbed his belongings before rushing out the door, before haphazardly rushing back in quickly to tell you “Uhm if you need Tylenol let me know I’ll go pick it up for you, bye YN gotta go!” 

Despite being in a rush, Jake was always so attentive towards you, something you were always grateful for; another habit you grew to love about him. 

“He's so sweet” you whispered under your breath to yourself before snapping your head up to face yourself in the mirror. Splashing water on yourself you pointed at your reflection before reminding yourself how badly this would end if you kept going on with this little crush. 

You do not like Jake Sim. You will not like Jake Sim. 

Days passed and after that night it was safe to say things got pretty awkward between you and Jake. You were in desperate hopes of avoiding him any chance you got, that of course was a lost cause as you guys still were hooking up every other week. However, you made it your mission to not interact with him outside of his apartment, not in classes, not in the gym, not at parties, nowhere. This seemed to be your brain's deluded way of trying to help you get over your crush on him. 

Jake on the other hand had a sense of why you were avoiding him, the whole drunken confession probably didn’t sit right with you. Jake didn’t really want to push it and force his way into your life if you weren’t comfortable, even though he desperately missed the days you spent every second together like best friends, he knew he wasn’t in a position to be complaining. But as time went on your missing presence began to eat away at Jake’s mind, he couldn’t take it anymore. 

Which is how he ended up rushing to move seats over to sit next to you when you entered the chemistry classroom. 

“Hey YN.”

“Oh, Jake hi…”

“You ready for today’s presentation?” he asked after noticing you diligently reading over your flashcards.

“Oh god no, I’m cooked.” you replied with a nervous laugh. 

“Don’t worry I’m sure you’ll do great, you always do.” Jake reassured with a warm smile. How did he always manage to say the right things? 

You flashed him a quick smile before whispering “Thank you.”

Sure enough a few minutes later you found yourself in front of the three hundred students in that lecture room trying not to stumble over your words as you presented about Electrochemistry. Everything was going fine at first, not to toot your own horn but you were pretty much guaranteed an easy A for this project. That was all until it came crumbling down. You stopped dead in your tracks as you felt a familiar warm feeling gathering between your thighs. Fuck, did you just get your period? 

“And u-uh, as I was saying…” you tried to continue the presentation and ignore the fact that your period was looming over you like the grim reaper, threatening to drip down your legs and publicly embarrass yourself in front of the whole class. 

The easy A you were so sure about now seemed out of reach as a lump formed in your throat while you stuttered with tears threatening to spill over your eyes. Quickly finishing up your half assed paragraph on Faraday’s law you bolted out the classroom the moment you were excused back to your seat. 

Rushing down the hall into the bathroom to clean yourself up, you were frustratingly met with the sight of blood stained jeans. Trying to pull down your shirt to hastily cover up the stain was no use, god out of all days to not bring an extra pad. Why did it have to be today? 

Sighing in agony you decided it would be a good idea to just head home instead of returning to class, hell you’d embarrassed yourself enough after that how could you even walk back into the lecture hall after that mess? 

Leaving the backroom with your head down and hand searching your bag hoping a spare pad would manage to appear out of thin air, you failed to notice Jake standing right in front of you (well that was until you bumped into him).

“YN, you okay?” his eyes graced with concern, oh so he’s still attentive as ever it seems. “Was it your presentation? I thought it was great-”

“I got my period.” you blurt out in a rush at the same time, eyes still stuck on the ground as you didn’t have the guts to face him right now “and like, yeah it's a mess so…I kinda just want to get home and change.” you finished with a frustrated sigh. 

“Ah I see” Jake replied before looking down to notice the dark patch on your jeans. 

Before you could go any further he wordlessly stripped off his hoodie before wrapping it around your waist. No words were spoken between you two but the tension arguably spoke much louder than words ever could. 

“I’ll come get it back later okay? Don’t worry about it” he said before knotting it a final time around your waist to secure it in place. 

“Oh, thank you Jake…” you mumbled 

“Hey YN.” he started, making you finally whip your head up to meet his eyes. His face detailed with hesitation, mouth slightly agape, eyes glossed over with doubt and hand again reaching for the nape of his neck nervously, “um, sorry it’s nothing actually- just uh, don’t be a stranger you know?” he continued with a slight shrug. So he did notice you distancing yourself. 

“Oh,” you stuttered, not really sure of what to reply with “alright…”

And with that you made your way back to the dorm, uncertainty lingering in the air around you following its way back to your dorm. Sprawling across your mattress you stared up at the ceiling lost in thought. This wasn’t going to end well. 

“YN you keep doing this!” your dance teacher snapped before banging a ruler on the metal bar in front of her. You flinched slightly as the loud bang rang through your ears before going to pause the music. 

“How many times do I have to remind you?” she let out in an exasperated sigh, fingers reaching up to pinch the bridge of her nose, “your legs aren’t straight and your feet aren’t pointed either! These are basic things even beginners could get, I expect more from you! What would your mother think, hm? She invested all this money in you just for you to fall short of your abilities. You’re my top student, you cannot be performing like this when the recital is just a few months away! Pull yourself together before I choose another person to take your place, lesson dismissed.” she bellowed out before storming out the classroom. Leaving you collapsed on the ground, face flushed with disappointment as you stared at your dishevelled reflection in the mirror. 

Fuck she was right, what were you doing? You should be better than this, why weren’t you improving? God your mom spent so much time and money on this and you were just letting her down, you couldn’t do anything right. You were becoming a bigger failure than you realised and you didn’t know how to stop it. How were you meant to be the perfect ballerina when you didn’t even know how to be the perfect daughter? You knew you were better than this but why couldn’t you live up to it. Why did you keep messing up?

Slowly tears began pouring out your eyes before the practice room was practically engulfed in your sobs. You however stopped your crying when you noticed the door crack open. 

“YN?” Jake murmured out with a worried look painted across his face, “what happened, what’s wrong?” he asked while rushing over to your side. 

“Oh Jake, god please don’t look I’m a mess right now” quickly you tried to wipe your tears and nervously laugh before Jake stopped you and took your hands in his. 

“YN, honestly I couldn’t care less about how you look right now. What’s wrong? Why are you crying hm?” His face had the same serious gaze from the party when he confronted Seunghan, “It’s okay, you can tell me.”

Hearing that you finally broke down sobbing as he pulled you in closer to his chest, hand running through your hair while whispering small words of comfort. “Jake I can’t do this anymore, I keep messing up in everything I do! I don’t know why I can’t just be the person everyone wants me to be, I’m a failure.” you cried out between sobs.

“Hey hey don’t say that, look at me.” he gently took your face in his hands before tilting it up to meet his gaze, “Okay so maybe you’re not the person everyone wants you to be, and hey maybe you aren’t perfect-”

“Not helping.” you deadpanned 

“Yeah well, I wasn’t done. Point is you’re not that but, you're YN. You’re exactly who you need to be right now, and you’re doing your best. Maybe that isn’t perfect but hey nobody’s perfect, you just keep such high standards for yourself you can never get a chance to breathe. It’s okay to make a few mistakes here and there, we all do, we’re only human. If it means anything, in my eyes you’re doing everything right. You’re perfect, okay YN?” 

This only made you sob harder into his chest. Jake wasn’t complaining though, he only brought you closer and tightened his grip around you. Hands still running through your hair to lull you back into a relaxed state. 

After finally calming down you wiped the remnants of tears on your face before loosening yourself from Jake’s embrace. Awkwardly laughing before asking “Uhm, why did you come here in the first place again?”

“Oh right that. I needed to get my hoodie back and Zuha said you’d be here, didn’t really expect to see you crying all alone though” he commented with a quick chuckle 

“Oh shit yeah,” you said before reaching over to your bag to try and find his hoodie, Jake however grabbed your wrist to stop you, “Never mind that okay YN? You had a pretty rough day, let’s just get you back to your dorm alright?” 

“But your hoodie-”

“And up we go!” he exclaimed before lifting you up by the arms and pushing you to get out of that practice room. 

The walk back to your dorm was filled with Jake endlessly checking up on you, asking “Are you sure you’re okay” every five minutes. You reassured him time after time that you seriously were fine before finally losing patience and snapping “Jake Sim. If you don’t stop, I will actually not be okay.” 

“Okay okay! Just checking!” he said before whipping his arms up to feign in defeat. 

Reaching your dorm, you awkwardly stood at the doorway waiting for Jake to leave and bid you goodbye but instead he just sorta awkwardly stood there staring at you.

“Yes?”

“Oh um just- call me? If you ever need someone to talk to, you know?”

“Thanks Jake, but I’m not really looking to make my friend my pseudo therapist right now.” you joked. 

“I know I know, just reminding you. You’ve got me, ‘kay?” Jesus, you could never get over how warm his smile made you feel. 

“Alright, thanks Jake” You sighed out before slowly closing your door. After shutting it you immediately dropped to the floor, head buried into your knees. You hated this. You hated how without fail, no matter how long you avoided him, Jake Sim always managed to make butterflies spawn in your stomach and your heart to beat out of your chest. He always knew the right things to say and how to make you feel like the world stopped and purely revolved around the two of you. You hated how badly you’ve fallen for Jake Sim.

To give some preface, the only times Jake and you had kissed were: 

The first time you’d two ever hooked up when you were drunk out of your mind and too blacked out to remember a thing

The second time you’d hooked up; which technically wasn’t even a kiss because you stopped him as his lips ghosted over yours, almost connecting. You argued that it would be weird for you two to kiss since you only agreed on hooking up with each other, which you added did not involve kissing. 

You two mutually agreed that your relationship would involve no kissing between the two of you. This however did not stop the fact that Jake refusing to kiss you at the party bugged you more than it should have, leading you to blurt out on a random Wednesday afternoon: 

“You didn’t kiss me.”

Jake stopped midway through unbuckling his belt. “What?”

“I mean, at Soobin’s party, you didn’t do it” your eyes glued down to the bed sheets while your hands came up to fiddle with the ends of your hair “I mean you kissed Karina, why not me?”

“I mean…I can kiss you now if you want?”

“Yeah but then you’d only be kissing me because I asked you to do it.” you grunted out in annoyance “But when you were told to kiss me in front of others you didn’t, but you could kiss Karina so easily”

“I thought you didn’t want me to kiss you?” Jake countered, his tone becoming more argumentative. 

“When did I ever say that?” you tried to say nonchalantly, but instead your words spat out like an accusation. Fuck what were you doing? 

“Yeah okay well, kissing her meant nothing” Jake said in a bit of an exasperated sigh, his brows slightly furrowing together. Well Jake knew it wasn’t just that, but hell who was he to bring that up right now

“Yeah well, we’ve been fucking for 6 months, not like that means anything” For some reason this stung a bit for Jake, god he hated that it did.

“YN why does it matter.” he retorted back, the question coming out sharper than he intended

“Technically I’m saying it doesn't.” you let out a slightly stifled breathy laugh in an attempt to break the tension, obviously it doesn’t work “What do you not want to kiss me or something?”

No. God no it was the complete opposite. That was practically the only thing he’d thought about for the past month. But Jake couldn’t admit this now, first off to save him from looking like some desperate loser, and second: you just went on to elaborate on how kissing him meant virtually nothing to you. That them kissing was nothing. Jesus, how could he tell you only now that to him, it was something.

The silence filling the room meant one of the two things you concluded: Jake was either mustering up the courage to give you the best kiss of your life or he did not want to be anywhere near your lips. You opted for the latter.

“I’ll take that as a no.”, you swiftly got up from your previous straddled position to grab your designated ‘walk of shame’ hoodie and collect your things. Clearly, this wasn’t going anywhere. “It's fine Jake really. Just forget I ever asked. It was stupid, and uh, I’ve got practice so I think i’ll get going” you said absently while touching up your makeup

Jake hastily buckled his jeans back up and pulled his grey crewneck over his head. But you were practically out the door before he could finish. “Wait, YN…” he called out stumbling behind you trying to catch up

“Jake, seriously just drop it. It was stupid okay. And I’ve actually got a lot of stretching to do today, so I’ve gotta get going.” You attempted to make the end sound cheery and like you totally didn’t have a lump forming in the depth of your throat. To your dismay, emotions ended up getting the better of you and the words left your tongue stung with bitterness.

“YN I’m sor-” he attempted to stutter out, but you were obviously not hearing him through. “Bye Jake.” 

God, she couldn’t even look at me when leaving.

“Bye.” Jake let out defeatedly, only to be met with the slam of a door in his face.

“fuck…” you both thought.

“YN come on you’ve been cooped up in the dorm for weeks! Let’s go out tonight, I doubt Jake will even be at the party. Besides you were on my ass about not going with you last time, now the invitation is practically handed to you on a silver platter and you don’t even accept it?!” Zuha said as she rolled next to your curled up body that laid like a corpse on your bed. She was right though, you spent the next few weeks skipping all your classes and only going out to eat and go to practice that the colour from your face was practically drained. You looked like a total zombie to put it lightly. 

“Yeah I won’t, I’m not in the mood to go out tonight” 

“You’re never in the mood! Come on, what good is it to stay stuck in your room pitying yourself while bingeing K-dramas? That’s never gonna help you get over it, a couple of drinks is what you need!” you partly blamed Kazuha for your excessive drinking, she always managed to help you get out of a heartbreak by getting you blackout drunk. 

“Ugh Zuha, who's even going to be at this party anyways? Isn’t it the same old people?” you argued before pulling the covers over your head in hopes it would magically make you disappear from sight. 

“No actually it’s not, a couple of people from SM are hosting. You know, the uni Minjeong goes to? I heard SM parties are like, next level. And besides you can meet some new people, don’t you think that’s the perfect way to help you get over this loser?”

“Hey, he isn’t a loser!”, you quickly argued, springing up from your previously snuggled position, “just like- yeah anyways not the point. I guess, maybe…it would help?”

Before you could even finish your thought Zuha immediately pulled you up and sprung into action. “Okay, perfect. Here, wear this.” she said before tossing pieces of clothing at your face. 

Holding them up you weren’t even sure if she gave you a proper shirt, it was way more revealing than you were used to. “Did you cut this shirt up or something?”

“No, I didn’t you prude. And besides, don't you wanna look cute? Those SM guys won’t know what’s hit them. Trust me.” she said while absently applying lip gloss. 

Hesitantly you wiggled into the outfit before checking yourself out in the mirror. No matter how hard you tried you couldn’t even convince yourself that you felt confident. Maybe some makeup would help. Propping yourself on the bathroom counter you began to cake on layers of foundation, blush, and eyeshadow. Finishing it off with a muted pink lip. 

This is good, you’re fine! You’re going to have fun tonight. You muttered under your breath, repeating it like a mantra. God you hoped you could have fun tonight. 

Entering the apartment you were immediately hit with a wave of loud music blaring through your ears, god you couldn’t even hear what Zuha was saying right next to you. She was right, SM parties are next level. You could see a couple people gathered round a table playing beer pong, seeing Minjeong and a few other familiar faces. You decided to join them, and despite being the worst one there you had to admit it was really fun. Now that a few drinks were in your system you seemed to loosen up, completely forgetting about the worries that had plagued your mind this morning. You grabbed a drink and made your way over to the kitchen where you spotted Zuha and Heeseung talking. Hold on, Heeseung? If he’s here then… 

You scanned the apartment, eyes wandering to the living room where numerous people seemed to be chatting away enthusiastically. Moving further into the area your eyes darted across each face trying to spot your target, and that was when you saw him. There he was, red solo cup in hand, looking directly at you. 

Shit, you were gonna kill Zuha, what was Jake doing here? You scrambled to try and get away from him after making eye contact, but before you could slip away you felt a hand grab your wrist. God damn it. 

“YN, can we talk?” Jake begged with pleading eyes, fuck you’d never seen him this desperate, “please.” 

You nodded your head slightly before he dragged you to an empty room.

“Okay you said you wanted to talk, so talk.” you demanded, still slightly buzzed. Your confidence fueled with alcohol and sheer pettiness

“Listen,” Jake said before pausing to collect his thoughts, “I’m sorry for, well yeah all of it. I shouldn’t have kissed Karina that night, it’s just we aren’t exclusive or anything so I figured-” 

“Yeah we weren’t, but honestly Jake I couldn’t give less of a fuck” a bold-faced lie. Jake scoffed, he was trying to patch things up and you were seriously giving him this attitude? 

“Yeah sure sounds like it” 

“Yeah I don’t, I just think it’s messed up that you don’t kiss me and then proceed to call yourself my boyfriend” 

“Please, that was because Seunghan was bothering you! What was I supposed to do just let a creep keep harassing you? Do you even remember what happened that night YN?” 

“No and as I said I couldn’t give a fuck” 

“Well, I do. You can’t just tell me you like me and pretend it was nothing” fuck so he did remember

“Okay well,” You stuttered out, anger simmering within you “I was drunk. I wasn’t in my right mind that night, so yeah it was nothing. Why does it even matter if I like you or not, you said from the start that what we had was casual.” 

God were you serious right now? Jake could feel his heart hurt a little and his previously confident stance faltering, “Yeah well we obviously haven’t been acting very ‘casual’ as of late.” 

“Why does that even fucking matter Jake, I don’t know why you care so much!” 

“Obviously because I fucking caught feelings!” Jake’s mouth seemed to work faster than his mind. Shit did he seriously just admit that. 

Everything stopped, and your gaze softened for a split second. What. He likes me? He likes me. Fuck, why would you even say all that shit in the first place? You couldn’t even sustain a casual relationship how the fuck were you meant to maintain a real one? This is stupid.

“This is stupid.” you blurt out finally “I can’t handle a relationship right now Jake, hell I couldn’t even handle a casual one. No way we could ever be a real thing.” 

“I thought you liked me.” Jake muttered

“So what if I do Jake? Look at us right now, I can’t even confess to you without running away from it. I’m not good for you Jake. I wouldn’t be able to make us work and-”

“Are you not even willing to try!?” Jake interrupted, tears slowly brimming in his eyes. Fuck, you couldn’t bear seeing him cry.

“Not if I’ll just hurt you in the process!” you shouted meeting his glossy eyes with your own “I’m sorry Jake.” And with that, you stormed past him out the room, out the door, down the stairs, and booked it back to your dorm.

Much like the first time you met, Jake Sim stood there watching you run out on him, again. Fuck.

Ice cream, americanos, and 2521.

This was how you would spend your days now that you and Jake were officially over. Well it’s not like you didn’t hangout with your other friends as well, you tried really, but even with them you couldn’t get rid of the sickeningly hollow feeling that brewed in the pit of your stomach. You felt much more content alone in your dorm room accompanied by Nam Joo Hyuk and Kim Tae Ri. Or maybe you were just trying to ignore the empty feeling in your chest for as long as you could before heading to sleep. Whether it be escapism or satisfaction, you’d become accustomed to your new little routine. That was until one fateful Saturday afternoon. 

You begrudgingly got up from your comfortable position after hearing a couple of knocks on your dorm room door. Hair a mess and wearing a 2 week old set of pyjamas, you honestly couldn’t care less who was at your door. Expecting to see Kazuha you unlocked it without thinking too much, however you were only greeted with Park Jongseong staring straight at you. 

“Oh Jay! Hey,” you exclaimed suddenly, becoming all too aware of your unkempt appearance. “What are you doing here? Were you looking for Kazuha or something because she just left for practice an-”

“Actually I’m here for you.” Jay cut in, “Could I come in?” his lips pressed together in a thin line and his hands were tucked away in his pockets.

“Oh, um” taken aback slightly by the question you stumbled over your words as he watched you expectantly “...yeah yeah sure, it’s sorta a mess though.” you admitted before moving aside to let him in. 

“So, what’s up?” you exhaled before returning to your position leaning back on your headboard

“Have you um, talked to Jake at all recently?” 

And there it was. Fuck you knew he would ask about Jake. “No, actually.” “Ah yeah, I figured.” his eyes still awkwardly scanning the room “He’s been kinda out of it too, not really going to out with us anymo-”

“If you’re just here to tell me about how badly I hurt him, you can save it.”

“Wait wait no I wasn’t! Just, okay- hear me out” he reasoned before grabbing a chair to sit in front of you 

“I know you guys had that whole argument before. And I don’t blame you, I probably would've been pissed too. But as I said, Jake is an absolute mess. And in no way am I here to make you feel bad for him, or anything! Just like- YN I’ll be straight with you. Jake has never liked a girl this much. Like, ever.”

Feeling your heartbeat flutter more ever so slightly, you glanced up to make eye contact with Jay. “Ah…”

“Yeah and, considering the fact I had to basically nurse him through his first breakup in highschool where he claimed his life was over. I think I’m a pretty reliable source right now. Point is, Jake was like head over heels over you. Still is. Despite being really tired from practice he would always try and run to the convenience store to stock up on your favourite foods. And even before you guys started this whole thing, the day you ran out of his dorm room, I swear that man was an inconsolable mess. Every moment not spent with you, he spent with us talking about how much fun he had with you.” he paused briefly to let you soak in all the things he had just admitted

“And I know I don’t know you as well as he does, nor am I close with you like, at all. But from the look in your eyes you had whenever you were with him, I think you liked him a lot too. And just saying, I don’t think Jake is totally opposed to the idea of you guys dating even after that whole incident at the party. He’s still willing to try…” he trailed off before getting up from his previously sat position, “He’s playing in tonight’s game so, think about it?” he concluded with a slight shrug

Quite honestly you were at a loss for words here, I mean you knew Jake liked you but you didn’t truly know the extent of it. You were obviously still scared about meeting Jake again but a small part of you had hope he was still as forgiving as Jay claimed.

“Thanks Jay, I’ll see.”

This was a bad idea. 

You couldn’t believe Jay Park had convinced you to dress up all pretty just to sit through an insufferable game of soccer where you had no idea what was going on. Well, he didn’t really tell you to do all that, but you reasoned to yourself passing the blame would probably make you feel better about the fact that this was how you were spending your Saturday night. 

Legs crossed over each other and eyes shooting across the field, you couldn’t really make out anything that was happening. Despite going to a university for sports you sadly had no interest in anything that involved throwing, kicking, or hitting balls around a large empty space. 

You were internally debating whether any of this was worth it in the first place, the game was almost over there was so there was really no harm in leaving now anyways. That was until your eyes locked with an awfully familiar face. There he was, clad in a navy blue jersey, sweat making his skin glisten and a few strands of hair stick to his forehead, running across the field chasing after the ball. And just like that, you felt like you fell for Jake Sim all over again. 

You could deny that even if you had no interest in the sport, Jake made it look infinitely exhilarating. Suddenly drawn in you found yourself at the edge of your seat the entirety of the last half of the game, cheering and clapping whenever Decelis scored a point. It was the final few minutes and Decelis and SM were neck and neck, both scoring a total of 10 points each. 

The ball spiralled across the field before landing in front of Jake. Steps fueled with determination he dribbled the ball further and further across the court with speed and intensity you’ve never witnessed before. Fire blazing with every step he took, he skillfully planted his foot on the ball before striking it in the opposing team's goal post. 

“And a score from Jake Sim! Ladies and gentlemen with only 20 seconds remaining of the game we may have our winners!” The commentator's voice echoed across the stadium, the crowd erupting into shouts and cheers. 

After what seemed like an eternity, the referee finally blew the whistle to announce the end of the second half, crowning Decelis the official winners of this match. The team rushed towards Jake before engulfing him in hugs and showering him with compliments. Jake let out a wide grin in response, his smile beaming brightly across the field. You missed seeing that side of him.

Making your way down the stadium steps, you rushed over to the field in hopes to catch him before his team swept him away. Unfortunately, around 20 other people seemed to have the same idea as you. Being drowned out by the crowd gathered around Jake Sim you somewhat lost hope in any chances of you speaking to him tonight. It’s fine, right? You had plenty of other chances to talk to Jake. However, whether it be fate working in mysterious ways or the glint of your silver hair clip, Jake's eyes caught sight of someone tucked away behind the crowd. 

Recognising you instantly, his heart began to palpitate ever so quickly and the confidence he adorned earlier vanished in an instant. Not wanting to ignore the other people surrounding him he mouthed a quick “Wait” before politely finishing up his conversation with the rest of his team. 

Pushing slightly through the slowly diminishing crowd Jake made his way towards you and tried to ignore the way his hands instantly became clammy while his heart was beating out his chest. Mustering every bit of courage he had left of him he let out a strained “Hey YN.”

“Hi Jake,” you started awkwardly, “Could we um, talk for a bit?”

“Yeah sure but-” he reached to the nape of his neck beginning to look around, “maybe not here? We could go back to my apartment if you want, the guys are going to the afterparty and I’m not really interested.”

“Oh uh,” your heart jumped a bit at his sudden request but after calming yourself down you responded, “yeah, sure. That sounds good.”

The walk back to his place was admittedly one of your more awkward ones, silence filling the atmosphere as you two were both obviously too scared to start any conversation before reaching his apartment. Said silence remained as you made your way into his building, following him around while your eyes layed fixed to the floor. 

Clearing his throat as he shut the door, he decided he should be the one to break the awkward tension between you two. “You wanted to talk to me about something?” 

“Oh right. Um about the other night, I’m really sorry I just…” all the lines you had practised earlier in the shower now had completely slipped your mind, leaving you to run short of things to say, standing there after an uncomfortably long pause. 

“YN it’s fine, I totally understand you not wanting anything between us anymore I get it really-”

“NO THAT’S NOT IT!” hands reaching up in front of your chest before you noticed how disastrously frantic you sounded, “What I was going to say was-” you started before letting out a deep breath. God you really had to get a hold of your nerves.

“What I wanted to say was, well what I’ve been planning to say- is that I was wrong. And I’m sorry for saying all that shit that night, I was scared shitless if I’m gonna be honest. Also admittedly, really buzzed. That obviously doesn’t really make up for it, but, yeah. Anyways– I’m getting side tracked.” you mumbled before shaking your head to snap yourself back into it.

“I told you before, but I have a very big problem with running away from anything that doesn’t have a solid 100% success rate. And relationships kinda are a big part of that? I think I’m seriously out of my mind for saying this, and hell all of this seems incredibly crazy to me. But I just…have to get it out. I’m willing to bet on, maybe not a 100% percent success rate for you Jake. I don’t care if it’s 10, 20, 30 or in the negatives. I’m willing to take that risk for you Jake.”

One beat passed, then two, then another. You stood there in agony waiting for Jake to respond with anything. A yes, a no, a laugh in your face, god you just wanted him to speak. 

“Please say something” you winced. 

“Sorry I’m just- I just- well I’ve never really had anyone ask me out before? So, I kinda am at a loss for words right now, you know?” Jake paused to look up at your hopelessly distraught image, “You are asking me out… right?”

“Yes…I think so and I’ve truthfully never done this either.” you replied sheepishly, eyes still stuck on the hardwood flooring. 

“Well YN,” his hand reached for your chin to lift your head upwards so you were eye level with him, “I would love to go out with you.” he said with a gentle smile. The same smile that had you weak in the knees everytime. 

“Oh thank fuck.” you sighed out in relief. Jake couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of all tension leaving your body. He moved his body closer to you to corner you against the kitchen countertop before moving in to whisper, “Can I do this now?”

“Do what?”

“This.” and with that he slowly closed the distance between you two to press his lips gently on top of yours before his hand reached over to cup the back of your head. It took a moment for you to register what he was fully doing, but as if he had full control over your body you melted into the kiss like butter. Lips moving feverishly against his, your hands reached over to grab his arm and pull him even closer towards you. There was barely breathing room between the two of you, your bodies moving perfectly in sync. Sighing into the kiss as his mouth parted against yours; you swore you weren’t religious but if this was what heaven felt like, you were willing to rethink your choices. 

Slowly parting from him, his lips seemed to still chase after yours as if it was attached to your mouth with a string. You let out a small giggle, redirecting your gaze at his eyes. They were glistening with a warmth you’d seen countless times before, except this time you truly knew it was meant for you. You moved your arms over to loop around his neck whilst cocking your head to the side in amusement. 

“Guess people can’t call you a loser now?” 

“You know damn well I never was,” he chuckled out, tone still low and hushed, “C’mere” he exhaled before kissing you again with even more passion and intensity than before. You smiled into the kiss allowing him to manipulate your body like butter. 

Who knew the physics nerd had it in him huh?

thoughts frm yuya 💭 hai everyone! omg this is finally out 😭 i think i grinded this fic out in like a week so i do apologize if it's bad 🙏 anyways i hope you guys enjoy it since it's my first really long fic ^^ i said this before but i'll prob go on a short hiatus since i've got my finals coming up, maybe coming back by the end of may or middle of june? nonetheless I will still try and be active on here, just no posting or new works, but i might try to queue some works up so TT hope you guys enjoyed the fic >< feedback and reblogs appreciated !

taglist ─── ⋆ @yerisrev, @nwjws, @jlheon, @k1ttylvr @iiaweirdo @mokangelic @jvjsssnaa @ms-no1kpopstan @caeqey @saursoob @shinrjj @m3chigo @eneiyri @shnnzsworld @heelariously @felixslove @vixensss @laurradoesloveu @atrirose @anormieee @jaklvbub @leep0ems @river-demon-slayer @minniejenseo @thing89 @ineedsomezzz @riksaes @iheartjayke @jinnibug @kookify @roastandtoast @fakeuwus  @junityy  @ak-aaa-li @letwiiparkjay @kashuannn @floweryang @bywons @dimplewonie @ginakam @hearts4itoshi @nctislifue @chaeyunloveeee (if ur name is bold that means i unfortunately couldn’t tag u TT)

[ash-says]

Tips for Dysfunctional Family Girlies Part 2:

1) Get your basics straight. Education. Boundaries. Financial independence. Further breaking it down and linking it if you get proper education at some point you are bound to get an awareness of this world, if you are able to adapt and improvise yourself and develop your emotional intelligence and get your boundaries straight you will save yourself a lot of unnecessary drama and problems. Education (formal and informal) both will help you in gaining opportunities and if you are financially independent, you are holding the power to make your own decisions.

2) Develop thick skin. Your mom is calling you names. Slut, whore and what not. Your dad doesn't trust you and abuses you physically. So, what now? Are you going to let them define what you are or internalize the anger and use it as a fuel to become successful? Choice is yours.

3) They say you don't owe an explanation to anyone. Sorry to burst your little bubble. Actually you do. We live in a society and have relationships that we need to maintain for survival. This hyper independent stuff is only good to read. We have responsibilities that we need to fulfill. If you don't owe an explanation to anyone then don't cry about a closure from someone too. If you can live by this go ahead and practice it.

4) Stop isolating yourself. That's it. That's the point.

5) First kill the fear inside you. Being a rebel outside the house is no good. Be disciplined. Know how to manipulate your family members in your favor and if you can't just find the weak points and threaten. I know it's difficult to implement but you learn through trial and error. Plus something is better than nothing.

6) Stop glorifying people who treat you with kindness and love. That's the bare minimum. Just because you didn't get it served in a silver spoon doesn't mean it is not served in a silver spoon. People can have ulterior motives and even if they don't fix it in your brain that's normal. No rose colored glasses allowed.

7) Don't be afraid of indulging in your sexuality. No I am not saying go and have sex with people. I mean it in a deeper sense. Connect with the repressed sexual side and try to find healthy outlets. Don't dim yourself to fit in others'expectations or to ease someone's insecurity. Be unapologetic about your wants and desires. Know yourself. It's a powerful energy source if you know how to use it positively.

8) Cry, cry and cry. Wail like a child. No need to keep it all in. No need to act like a macho woman BUT only in front of your god or your belief system. Max in front of your truly trusted people.

9) Question everything as easily as breathing. Doubt every thing. Every action. Every person. What proof do you have to not doubt ? Stop giving benefit of doubts. Stop looking for excuses on how they could be good and instead look for ways in which they can harm you. That's your lottery to be poised and composed. It's just what it is.

10) Obsession. We have it in loads. That's natural to us. So the trick here is to be obsessive. Hella obsessive but about things, topics, goals, subjects, inanimate things,etc. God forbid but never be obsessive about a person. Not even over your dead body. Why? For that I need to make another detailed post I think.

[warmilikeit]

Yandere Batfam x Camp half-blood (Neglected reader)

Dc x Pjo

Part 9

______________________________

It was now morning, the air was humid and the chariots were lined up, everyone on the sidelines was packed with food, every second you wish you were in those benches

"One... Two.... Three... GO!" Tantalus yelled and the campers roared

The Ares chariot was quick, but the Hermes chariot led by the not twins Travis and Connor Stoll, Connor was shooting rocks in between the wheels of chariots

Leading first is the Hephaestus chariot led by Charles Beckendorf and his brother, second is Poseidon Chariot led by Percy Jackson and Tyson the cyclops

No way you were going to let them win

Your sister Yvonne Bailey Daughter of a multi-million fashion designer grabbed some arrows, her step mother (Aphrodite approved) was an Olympic archer, she taught Yvonne everything she knows

Which is lucky because in this race your opponents either throw arrows or bombs, even luckier cause someone on the Aphrodite cabin knows how to make arrow bombs (you duh)

And you may or may have not taken green arrows design but it's not like he can sue you, I mean come on you're dead

"No hard feelings (Name)" Annabeth smiles as her chariots bumps yours

Yvonne recovering from the shock stood up again quickly "You did not just do that", she prepared an arrow and shot at their left wheel, tried to shoot at least

The arrow instead hit the Hermes chariot and it crashed onto the Hephaestus chariot

Well they say it's better to destroy two chariots with one arrow

Now it was just You and Yvonne, Annabeth and her brother, Percy and Tyson

AND CLARISSE LA RUE????

For some reason, even if they were stuck at the back of the track trying to get he ricks out of their wheels, they managed to bypass the other burning down chariots in their way

It was fine, you liked a challenge, Then Stymphalian birds (flesh eating demon birds) started raining down from the sky and started pecking at the campers

A flock of these birds started to attack your chariot, without thinking you grabben an arrow and shit at them...

... without proper space distance, making the explosion close to you chariot

Yvonne grabbed you and ducked down and the horses who were carrying your chariot went feral trying to avoid the demon birds themselves

Percy who slipped out of the race, managed to grab a boom box and played this awful music that made the birds screech, but stopped them from attacking

The Apollo kids took this as a chance to shoot them down

And when you thought it was over, Clarisse came running through with her chariot and won the race

Despite the injuries of the racers and the non racers, they cheered

______________________________

Jason grumbled at the sight of his family, gloomy, "Hey, Breakfast has been ready for hours now, Duke is waiting!"

"I know but I found new information, according to here, Empousa only drink the blood of their victims, not eat them, that would mean there is still a body-" Tim has been researching every Greek monster ever since, trying to find a clue on how to see them properly

Diana had explained this most that covers the mortal eye from the divine world, with the announcement that the gods are real...

People have been starting to get stressed, since the most is still in effect, people are accusing each other of being monsters in disguise

"I don't get why you're doing so much for a fake" Jason glared, true he was shocked at the death, but... It's not like this was the first time (Name) died

The little replacement to protect dad's sanity was dead, so?

______________________________

According to Tantalus, we should be punished, because according to him the stymphalian birds were just minding their business and only attacked because they were bothered by Percy's horrible chariot driving

"go chase a donut!" Percy stomped off as Tantalus continues to yell at him and Tyson scurries behind behind Percy

I grabbed a piece of fruit from a table that managed to survive the attack and waved it around so Tantalus could see

And I ate it in front of him.

"Okay you too! Both you and Percy and the monster will be washing the dishes tonight" he yelled

Annabeth's brows furrowed "That's not fair! (Name) Just ate! You can't punish her for eating!"

"you're punished as well! Everyone cleans this mess! And make dinner for Clarisse if you want, a banquet or something, but stay the fuck away from my sight" now it was Tantalus's turn to stomp away

______________________________

(Name): eats*

Tantalus who was cursed to never eat: I'm offended

______________________________

@delias-stuff @sadslasher13 @ellaprime7 @wpdarlingpan @mountvesuvu @chinxinsomnia @nathaly36 @vanessa-boo @bat1212 @ceramic-raven @sweetconnoisseurgardener @dhanyasri @bella-wolf100 @shortnsweetsposts @roseapov @d3sperate-enuf @d3kstar

[veltana]

Buy my heart - 2

✦ Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Fem!Reader

✦ Word count: ~1,2k

✦ Rating for this part: Mature

✦ Warnings/tags: Alpha!Bucky, Omega!Reader, slow burn, eventual smut, pet names (little darling/darling)

✦ Series summary: In a desperate attempt to rescue your family from debt, you decide to auction yourself off. The alpha who purchases you turns out to be quite different from what you imagined, leading to a marriage that exists only on paper. However, when an omega moves in with an alpha who hasn't experienced a rut in years and is determined to keep things strictly professional despite his instincts, complications arise.

✦ In this part: Bucky and you have a chat.

✦ Note: Thank you so much for all the wonderful words about part one! ❤️ Reblogs, comments and asks are much appreciated!

Series masterlist

Masterlist | AO3

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Light filters in through the curtains in the places where you didn't close them properly. The small clock on the bedside table tells you it's just a few minutes past ten.

Last night you did as Bucky suggested and took a bath, exploring all the different dials and buttons before scrubbing your body with soap that smelled incredibly expensive. Afterward, you dried off with fluffy towels and found a robe on a hook. Clothes had been placed on your bed and a tray of food waited on a small table.

According to the label, the pajamas were 100% silk. You'd had no energy left after that and crawled into bed.

Getting up you find that the tray is gone. Which means someone was in your room while you slept, and that makes you uneasy. Instead of a tray, there is a note. I'll be in the office, find me once you've had breakfast. It's not signed but there is no doubt who wrote it.

After washing your face you try to figure out what all the different creams, mists, and toners are for and have a proper look around your room. The closet is empty, so you guess you'll just have to walk around in your pajamas. Bucky did say something to the person on the phone about clothes but as far as you can tell, nothing more arrived last night.

You stand hesitantly in front of the door, your hand hovering over the handle but not daring to open it. This new place is intimidating. Bucky seems fine so far, but you’ve only just met him—can you really gauge anything yet? Taking a deep breath, you twist the handle and step out. Now to figure out where the kitchen is.

You head back down the stairs Bucky carried you up yesterday, hoping to find someone who can give you directions.

At the bottom, you look around but don’t see anyone. But you do hear voices and decide to follow them. It leads you to a set of double doors slightly ajar. From within, you can hear Bucky’s voice and a woman’s. The note suggested having breakfast first, but now that you’ve found him, you might as well join him. Again, you hesitate, but since the doors aren’t closed you gently knock on the door. “Come in,” Bucky answers.

He’s sitting behind a large desk and in front of it stands one of the most beautiful women you've ever seen. Her hair is long and red, but the tips are blonde, arranged in a messy braid, dressed in high heels, a pencil skirt, and a white shirt. She smiles sweetly, and you find yourself feeling shy.

“Hey there, little darling,” Bucky says. The nickname he's given you feels just as strange now as it did yesterday but you don't ask him to stop. “Did you sleep well?” “Yes, sir. Sorry! I mean, yes, Bucky.” The woman chuckles and now you feel flustered too. “This is Natasha, she's my right hand. Don't let her appearance fool you, she's as lethal as they come.” You nod at her.

“I hope some more clothes will arrive during the day, I wasn't sure what style you preferred,” She says with a smile. You have a suspicion that she was the one Bucky called from the limo yesterday. “Thank you!” “As soon as you've settled in a little we'll have a girl's day and go shopping on Bucky's credit card,” she laughs and steps away, passing you on her way out. She smells amazing too.

Natasha closes the door behind her and you're alone with Bucky. “Take a seat. How was breakfast?” As you sit you throw him an apologetic smile. “I haven't eaten, I don't know where the kitchen is.”

Bucky looks confused for a moment, then shakes his head. “Of course, sorry, do you want me to show you?” “No, I prefer waiting a while after waking up to eat.” “Oh, then we might as well go over the agreement I've drawn up.” “Agreement?” “Kind of like a contract. I'll explain,” he leans back in his chair.

“I took over the business from my father, who got it from his father, and so on. My grandfather is still alive but my father passed away recently.” “I'm sorry,” you say. “Don't be, we didn't have a good relationship. Anyway, I've been without a partner for a long time and it doesn't sit well with my grandfather. So he gave me an ultimatum two weeks ago: get married or see the money I'm set to inherit go up in smoke when he passes. And between you and me it could be any day now.”

“You need a wife?” Looking at Bucky, you find it hard to believe he would have trouble finding someone willing to marry him. Which could mean a lot of things.

“A friend gave me a tip about the auction.” “You decided to buy a wife?” “Yes, it might not seem like a very honorable thing to you, but I'm in a bit of a time crunch at the moment.” “I understand,” you nod. It's not your place to question his motives. You should be happy that he's even willing to discuss terms with you. You’ve heard stories of omegas being sold to horrible people.

Another thought enters your mind. Bucky seems to be well off, and when you're his wife then maybe you can convince him to send some money to your family. The money from your auction will last them some time but sooner or later it will run out.

He pulls a bunch of papers out of his desk and hands a bundle to you. “Read through this during the day. Write any questions down. My lawyer will be here tomorrow and can answer them.” “Okay,” you nod.

Then Bucky picks up a pen. “The paperwork I got from your auction wasn't very thorough. Are you on suppressants?” “No, couldn't afford them.” “And what's your family situation?” “Complicated.” That is all you give him.

He shoots you a look but you don't explain further, it doesn’t concern him. “When was your last heat?” He asks in a very professional voice but it makes you shift uncomfortably in your seat. You start counting backward but it's hard to remember exactly.

“Maybe three months ago?” you guess. “So that should give us around three months before the next time?” Bucky’s eyebrow goes up as he eyes you questioningly. “Yeah, I suppose,” you shrug. “You don't keep track?” “No, not really,” you confess. “I notice when it's about to happen and then it does.”

Bucky puts down his pen with a frown. “That can be dangerous for an omega,” he points out. “What if you're not at a safe location when it does.”

That makes you snort and then realize you’re talking to the alpha who’s bought you to make you his wife and you look away sheepishly. “Sorry, it's just that I was either home or at work and maybe occasionally at the library.”

“I see,” Bucky says as he picks up the pen again, but you can't help but wonder if he truly understands. The mansion is enormous, clearly not something he built on his own—it's likely been in his family for generations. Everything about the place exudes wealth, including Bucky himself. His suit is so crisp it seems brand new, with barely a trace of scent, as if it's never been worn. How could he possibly know what it was like to live your life?

“And have you been alone for your heats or have you had help?” Your mouth falls open and you stare at him. “Excuse me?” “You heard me.” “That's none of your business,” you cross your arms.

He leans back into the chair, eyes thinning as he looks at you. “It's not?” “No, it's private.” “You forget one thing, little darling.” His voice is void of warmth “I own you.”

There it is, you think. The reason he's been unable to find a wife.

You don't answer that statement, well aware of your predicament. “Why do you need to know?” You ask instead. “Because it matters if my soon-to-be wife is a virgin or not.” “I'm not,” you bite out. “A mate I should be aware of that's going to cause trouble?” “No, we split a few years ago.”

That appears to please him, and he jots down another note before placing his pen back in the holder on his desk. “Good,” Bucky nods. “That's all for now, let's get you some breakfast,” he looks down at the watch on his wrist, “or brunch, and then I'll show you around.”

next

[bunnysbrainrot]

Sinners - Teaser

Relationship: Sam Winchester x Reader

Content: Explicit sexual content, teasing, more kinks and details to come with the full version, nothing too warning-worthy right now?

Summary: Disguised as a priest and nun on a case, time alone with Sam back at your motel is everything but holy. The taboo of your situation has Sam dealing with some… impure thoughts. Will Sam be able to contain himself?

In the past few weeks you and the Winchesters uncovered some suspicious deaths in a remote area of Georgia. The locations of the tragedies spanned over 50 miles apart, meaning that the team had to split up to cover more ground. Dean had split from you and Sam two days ago, and the night before in the motel had been fairly normal. It seemed like Dean did this on purpose; you had drunkenly admitted to him of your affection for his younger brother.

Whether or not Sam knew of this, you had no clue. And now in your nun getup, it was all too fitting that you began to pray that Sam was unaware. The two of you calmly made your way past the yellow police tape, preparing warm smiles for a victim’s family.

Sam knocked on the door, letting out a bated breath. Weren’t nuns supposed to dress modestly? Your outfit was the proper attire, but the way it hugged your curves left too much to Sam’s imagination. It was his turn to pray that it didn’t stir too much in him, to let him keep his composure.

An older man answered the door, his expression easing at the sight of your attire. Turns out this costume was better received than you thought. You had to channel your tone and proper verbiage before speaking.

“Apologies for showing up unannounced, Mr. Peters. I’m Father Jeremy, and this is our sister from a local church.” Sam waved a hand for you to introduce yourself.

You chose to use your name, seeing that this was your first nun-appearance.

“We’re here on behalf of the church to offer support for your family, but we also have a couple of questions, if you don’t mind.”

Hopefully there were no questions about the nearest Catholic church, otherwise this whole façade would crumble. Mr. Peters’ face only softened further.

“I’m glad you’re here, Father, Sister,” he addressed you with a sad smile, “Please, come in.”

Sam stepped in first, using a beckoning finger behind him to have you follow him. The house was modest, but eloquently decorated. You recalled the murder that had happened, that brought you to this town, and shuddered. Mr. Peters’ daughter had been brutally murdered and discarded in a creek, signs indicating the presence of a vampire. Their daughter had been missing for two weeks before the time of death, which is what you and Sam aimed to discover.

“Mr. Peters, we are part of a youth outreach program at the church. Our aim is to help troubled youth, with restorative services and social connection. We were wondering if your daughter had any odd behaviors before she went missing. Perhaps she became more secluded?”

The man looked confused at first, “Odd behavior?”

Sam gave a small nod, “We notice that teenagers in need of help oftentimes become more distant with their families. Our goal is to provide better services to our youth, which does include finding the source issue.”

Mr. Peters have a small background of his daughter, admitting that she had become distant with the family. Not just that, but her anger had only worsened, amongst several harmful habits. It wasn’t uncommon for teens to become immersed in the occult and all things dark, but being surrounded by the wrong people can lead to harmful connections.

“I see,” Sam started, “and do you know what kind of people she was surrounding herself with?”

Another confused look from Mr. Peters.

You added, “This way, we’re able to identify warning signs - things to be wary of as our youth members meet new people.”

This seemed to clear things up, bringing out a detailed recount of his daughter’s recent social group. But, their social media had been recently deleted, preventing the family from getting their closure. As far as they knew, their daughter had made new friends, ran from home, and was found brutally murdered.

Sam’s eyes darted to you when you shifted in your seat, the fabric of your black dress sliding gracefully along your thighs. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but seeing you dressed up like this sent his mind spinning. The last thing he should be thinking of is taking you dressed like this, but he couldn’t shake it. His mind raced of scenarios the two of you could create, each one dirtier than the last.

But right now, the task at hand was covering the tightness of his pants. He leaned forward, the broad muscles of his arms flexing beneath his black shirt. Blush creeped onto your cheeks, much to the attention of Mr. Peters, who looked at you with concern.

“Sister, are you feeling alright?”

You nodded and gave a small wave, “Oh, I’m fine. Just a little warm is all. I apologize.”

Mr. Peters stood, “No need to apologize, let me get you some cold water. I’ll only be one moment.”

The room had gone oddly quiet paired with Sam’s intent stare at your face. You turned to find a concerned Sam inspecting you fully.

“You sure you’re okay?” He asked softly.

A slight nod, “Yeah, it’s just stuffy in this outfit.”

“Well, once we’re back at the motel we can get you out of it.”

A beat later Sam realized how that sounded. He tried to backtrack, but Mr. Peters had already returned with your glass of water, which you gratefully sipped on. It took everything in your power to resist the images that came to mind. Sam’s hands roaming your body, stripping that baggy dress off of your body, his mouth finding every nook and cranny of your neck.

Sam seemed to have taken over the conversation for the last few moments before standing. Mr. Peters had already given a short list of his daughter’s friends, and their usual hang-out spots. Your attention snapped back to reality; you placed the water glass down with a small thank you, being pulled up by Sam.

His hand could practically wrap the entirety of your arm, his grip stable and warm. Goosebumps rose on your arms, brushing against the tough fabric of your dress. The air outside carried the comfort of fall, the breeze being cool and refreshing on your hot cheeks.

At the car, Sam reached for your door to open it for you, something completely new to the both of you. You glanced up at him with wide eyes. The movements he made to reach the handle had pulled your bodies dangerously close, fully brush against his chest, pressed into the car. A inexplicable scenario that would raise a few eyebrows, for certain.

“Sorry, I just didn’t want you to trip on your dress,” breathed Sam.

Honestly, he was thankful for the little slip up - being this close to you had been a wish of his, but there had never been any excuse for it to happen. Your focus shifted from his soft, hazel eyes down to his parted lips. Sam’s attention shifted to your lips, lowering to your chest for a split second. A selfish move on his part, but the damage had already been done.

Your hand fumbled for the door handle, fingers sliding over his own. The two of you shared another longing glance before getting you into the car. Sam tucked in loose bits of your dress so the door wouldn’t snag on them.

“Alright, hands and feet it, watch out,” he whispered. You noticed how his hands fumbled more than usual, surely due to the nerves. Perhaps you had been reading this wrong, maybe you had taken things too far? Maybe you had overstepped and embarrassed him?

“Thank you,” you replied, giving him a genuine smile. Sam’s cheeks flushed, unmistakably a sign that maybe your anxieties been just that. Simple anxieties from overthinking this whole thing.

Now settled in the car, the two of you made the trip back to the motel. After stepping inside you beelined for the bathroom.

At least, until Sam’s voice stopped you in your tracks.

“Hey, could I talk to you about something?”

You turned to face him, eyebrows raised. You’d be lying to yourself if you said your heart didn’t skip a beat.

“What’s up?”

With the silence in the room, you took the cue to sit on the bed. Sam towered in comparison, his lean physique defined by the lamplight.

His voice softened, “I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to get that close, I-“

“Sam, it’s okay,” you cut him off with a laugh, “don’t worry about it. I wasn’t bothered by it.”

He relaxed his shoulders. Sam began to dig through his bag for another set of clothes.

“You look good as a priest, by the way. You sell the bit nicely,” you stated.

What you said made his heart skip a beat. Was that a compliment, or just conversation? Sam couldn’t tell, so he turned to you once more with a goofy grin on his face.

“Thanks,” his expression darkened as his eyes raked you over, “You look good as a nun.”

There was no mistaking it - he was taking his time looking over you. Your breath hitched in your throat when he turned, leaned casually against the desk your bags laid on. You transfixed on the way his hands moved around his belt buckle. Mildly fiddling, but you couldn’t help but imagine him following through.

“Not my best outfit, but thank you,” you replied. Sam pushed away from the desk, slowly stepping toward the bed where you sat, tense with every step.

“I would agree there, you’ve worn better,” he commented.

You head snapped up to meet his eyes. A surprise note of flirtation filled your voice.

“Okay, so what’s my best outfit, then?”

He scoffed, “We playing twenty questions?”

You pointed to your outfits, smirking proudly at him, “Look at our getup, man, it’s like a confessional.”

A bright laugh came out of Sam; he tilted his head back as he thought.

“My answer isn’t exactly… appropriate.”

“Sam,” you laughed, “Confessional. You gotta tell me.”

He let out a groan before lowering his head, steadily giving you his answer, “Your dark jeans, and that long sleeve shirt. The, um… the one with the v-neck, you wore it almost every day over winter.”

“And that was inappropriate?”

“It’s why I like it that’s inappropriate.”

“Okay, then, why do you like it?”

The last thing you expected was for Sam to close the distance. He stepped until he was directly ahead, arms crossed over his chest as he locked eyes with you.

“It made your ass look nice.”

His tone was surprisingly serious, like he had been thinking of this answer for a while.

“Hugs your body in the right ways. And it makes your, well, chest… look nice.”

Sam humored your shocked expression but pushing things further. If you could dish it out, he could dish it back.

“What’s my best outfit?”

As you collected yourself, Sam stepped closer, bringing a hand to your cheek. He lifted your head, his thumb grazing over your cheek.

“It’s a confessional. You have to tell me,” he joked, earning a slight glare from you. That sour face melted away when Sam placed his hand beneath your chin. He tilted your head back to have you look at him.

Shit.

“Jeans,” you breathed, “V-neck black shirt.”

Sam leaned in, brushing his lips across your cheek. The closeness set your skin ablaze, each trailing lip and finger sending shivers up your spine.

“Is that all?” Sam whispered.

His eyes met yours once again, a startling seriousness lurking inside. You pushed past the shyness of your answer. The honesty could break the tension that had building all this time.

“Pajama pants… no shirt. When you just get out of the shower.”

Sam’s lips curled into a satisfied smile before planting a slow kiss to your cheek. He moved gradually to your jawline, sprinkling chaste kisses until his lips hovered over yours.

“Have you wanted this?” he asked.

Your frustration was intangible - a bottle that had been shaken too much, and ready to blow. He was centimeters, millimeters away from giving you what you’d truly wanted. The silence between you signified the utter defiance to give him this so easily.

“Confessional,” Sam’s voice reverberated against you, but he offered nothing to your pleading lips, “tell me, little nun, have you thought about this? Wanted my lips on yours?”

A small whine escaped you as Sam’s hand lowered to your throat, pressing softly to the tender flesh. The loss of blood flow muddled your thoughts into complete ecstasy, with no urgency to regain control. With just one move, it was clear to Sam that you were undoubtedly his.

You gave him a small nod. A low growl thundered in his chest before pressing into you further, laying you flat on the bed. Locks of chestnut hair framed your face, with a breathy Sam hovering his mouth over your neck.

“Nodding doesn’t count. You gotta use your words, sweetheart.”

Amidst the constriction on your throat you nodded and choked out a small, "Yes."

Sam's growing smile is all you need to know you've satisfied something deeper within him. Darkness floods his eyes seeing you like this, utterly at his will under his touch. If he'd known sooner that this would be the outcome, he'd have bought that nun outfit ages ago.

"That's better," he whispered.

------

Hi everyone! I know it's just a teaser for now, but I wanted to show you something I've been working on! I've also been pretty busy with work and writing for my book series, so things have been a bit busy for sure haha

I love you all, and I keep an eye out for the full version of Sinners!

[mistycreativelilacs]

Can you please write a Bruce Wayne imagine where he catches her singing or something cute like that?

Welp… it only took me -checks watch- three years to respond to this, but uh… here’s a 5000 word drabble I guess.

Kitchen Off Limits

About a year into living at Wayne manor you enacted an (ever growing) list of rules. Originally the list only had three rules on it:

1. Sunday is family day. Baring any Gotham destroying/world ending catastrophes everyone is to be in the dinning room no later than 11am for brunch followed by a previously voted on family activity.

2. Family Activity planning occurs on the first Saturday of the month, activities for the whole month will be decided then.*

*Attendance is NOT mandatory, however those who do not participate do not get to complain when we spend 3 Sundays in a row at the zoo.**

**No liberating animals from the zoo.

3. Monday thru Saturday the kitchen belongs to Alfred. Sunday morning’s the kitchen belongs to Mom*.

*That means no one, not even Alfred can enter the kitchen until AFTER brunch**.

**Yes Tim that includes you. You can wait for your morning cup of coffee***.

***ABSOLUTELY NO coffee pots, mini fridges, microwaves, blenders, hot plates, or dry food storage in your bedrooms or you WILL be personally hunting down every rodent and bug that comes crawling into the manor****.

****You can NOT train an army of cats to hunt vermin as a trade off for a mini fridge.

Certain amendments had to be made to the list with each new addition to the household. The final amendment to rule three inspired the creation of its own rule.

243. If you bring a pet into the house, YOU must personally care for it at all times. This includes feeding, grooming, walking, training and cleaning up after them as well as insure they have a proper habitat to live in*.

*Your bedroom is only a proper habitat for regular domestic animals (ie. dogs, cats, fish, small reptiles, small birds, caged rodents such as rats, Guinea pigs or hamsters and snakes, within reason - no large pythons). Large animals whether native to our region or exotic must be housed in a properly built enclosure on the grounds.

Needles to say the Wayne children kept you on your toes. Which brings us to now.

You awoke at the crack of dawn this morning to prep for the day. In a not so shocking twist, Damien had lied, cheated and outright bribed several of his siblings in order to get a zoo trip in this month. The Waynes were such regulars at the zoo (and contributed so much in donations) that they’d named an entire section after the family. The Wayne Reptile House (filled to the brim with several of the reptiles you’d ‘rescued’ from Damien’s room upon Alfred’s discovery of Damien’s unsanctioned renovation of his closet). It was important to you that the children experienced even just a smidge of normalcy amongst all the vigilantism.

You’re staring into the pantry, debating whether to do pancakes or waffles, when an old favourite song comes on the speaker. This was your favourite part of Sunday’s. Once everyone realized how serious you were about the rules, Sunday morning had become your alone time. If the kids were fighting, they handled it amongst themselves. If someone had a question, they went to Bruce or Alfred for answers. Mom was not to be disturbed.

The word Mom still brings a small smile to your face. You’d never really pictured yourself as a mother but when you’d stumbled your way into a romance with THE Bruce Wayne, he’d already gained 2 of your ever growing hoard of children. You’d stumbled your way into motherhood much the way you stumbled into Bruce’s arms.

You begin to softly hum to the song as you decide to just make pancakes and waffles. With a family full of crime fighters more was always the safer option. No one wants a repeat of Tim and Richard’s destructive fight for the last cinnamon bun. You had to spend a fortune redoing the dinning room after, replacing antiques was not cheap, and your heart still hadn’t recovered from the sticker shock. Needless to say the boys were still working off their debt by assisting Alfred in the daily runnings of the manor. As you got lost in the gargantuan undertaking of cooking for the whole Wayne clan, your gentle hums morphed to soft whispers of lyrics.

Just as you were frying the last batch of pancakes the opening chords of your and Bruce’s song came through the speakers. It would be more accurate to state that you’d unilaterally declared it your and Bruce’s song. During your second year of dating you had slowly begun introducing him to the world of romcoms. One particularly chilly fall day that year saw Bruce catching a cold. You took advantage of that to force him into a binge of some of the best and cringiest of your favourites from the 2000’s. Two particular movies seemed to make the notoriously stoic Bruce Wayne emotional. The obvious one being ‘Two Weeks Notice’, but it was the Hugh Grant, Drew Barrymore semi-musical ‘Music & Lyrics’ that would produce the perfect song for your and Bruce’s life together.

As the sounds of Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore came through the speaker you began to sing in earnest.

‘I've been living with a shadow overhead

I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed

I've been lonely for so long

Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on’

Your mind drifted to how you and Bruce met. Recently heartbroken and determined never to let another man hurt you, you’d sworn of men and decided to dedicate all your attention to advancing at work. Your first steps were taking the assignment no one else wanted to touch with a ten foot pole. Being Bruce Wayne’s personal assistant. Those who succeeded at such a gargantuan undertaken seemed to excel through the ranks at Wayne Enterprises, but those who fell short well, you’d heard his last personal assistant had moved back home to small town Kansas and given up the corporate ladder completely.

Your first week had been a cake walk, seeing as Bruce had been away on business meetings in Europe. It’d given you time to get settled in and a system in place. You were determined to be the best personal assistant he’d ever had.

Upon Bruce’s first day back in the office, you’d mustered up all the courage you had and waltz into his office. With barely a good morning you’d launched into a tirade of how things were going to be and that unlike his past assistants you were going to set boundaries. He’d blinked at you slowly, and you were convinced you were about to be fired. His mouth opened and the word okay seemed to unintentionally fall out. You both stood there a moment, seemingly shell shocked at the interaction, before you gathered your wits. With a pivot of your heels you rushed out your own okay before returning to your desk.

Unbeknownst to you Bruce himself had been going through a touch of heartbreak, having had a fall out with his former paramour Selina. His accounts of your first meeting paint you in a much fiercer, more beautiful light. But you’re sure he’s simply remembering the day with rose tinted glasses seeing as you had a poorly concealed coffee stain on your blouse and your hair had definitely begun its escape from the clip you’d rushed it into on the train that morning. Nevertheless he claims it was your fierce determination that stunned him into submission and not his utter exhaustion from sleep deprivation.

‘I’ve been hiding all my hopes and dreams away

Just in case I ever need ‘em again someday

I’ve been setting aside time

To clear a little space in the corners of my mind’

The weeks following your initial meeting were a full of meetings, calls and insuring your boss took proper care of himself. It took exactly three days for you to realize he’d forget to eat, four to realize he seemed to not be sleeping either.

You quietly placed a standing order with the sandwich place down a couple blocks from the building, and then methodically went through Bruce’s calendar and put a two hour meeting blackout everyday around 2pm. You’d also had the couch that sat on the wall just outside his office doors moved into his office proper. The next day you simply waltzed into his office at noon and dropped the sandwich on his desk before returning to your own desk. Two hours later you waltzed in dropping a pillow and blanket on the couch and closed the blinds without a word. As you turned to leave Bruce questioned what you were doing. You simply informed him that you’d place a permanent daily block on meetings between 2pm-4pm and that his office doors would be locked for that period of time as well.

When asked, Bruce will claim that as the day he fell in love with you.

You continued on that way for months, the world seeming to move in a blur around you. Your friends encouraged you to start dating again, but you just weren’t sure you could ever trust a man again. Besides, work was so exhausting most days that you were certain you’d simply pass out at the restaurant if you did go on a date. What a terrible first impression that would make.

It was a seemingly unremarkable Tuesday morning when the world came screaming into focus again.

‘All I wanna do is find a way back into love

I can’t make it through without a way back into love

Oh’

You’d been tutting about the office while Bruce attended a meeting with Lucius in the lower levels of Wayne Enterprises. You had just started printing off a report for Bruce’s next meeting when your printer ran out of paper. Normally this would be a none issue, except for reasons unknown to you, the night cleaner had developed a habit of putting the box of printer paper on top of the bookcase in the corner. A bookcase that stood nearly three heads taller than you. He’d been doing it for weeks despite your many conversations with him about it. You had tried bringing it up to Bruce, but he just blamed it on the language barrier and claimed it as a non-issue since he could just grab it for you.

It was just your luck that the printer would run out when Bruce was in the midst of a meeting and wouldn’t be back for at least another hour, probably two seeing as his meetings with Lucius always seemed to go over their allotted time slot. You’d been certain the office would have a step ladder hidden around somewhere, but after nearly twenty minutes of searching and being put on hold with maintenance, you’d given up. You could just wait till Bruce returned, but you had only printed half of the first of ten copies of a 40 page report that was required for his next meeting. You’d begun cursing everyone from the night cleaner for his obsession with moving the paper to the head of marketing and research’s assistants for not sending the reports yesterday when you’d requested them. Difficult problems required creative solutions, however the only thing you had that was light enough to drag over to the bookcase while giving you enough height to grab a ream of paper was your office chair. As the head of the companies employee safety committee you knew this was a terrible idea, as Bruce Wayne’s golden assistant the risk of letting your boss down for the first time ever outweighed the risk to your personal safety.

Even with the chair you needed to climb the bookshelf to actually reach the shelf the paper was on. Ream firmly in your grasp you moved to step back into the chair. As your foot touched the chair your hand slipped from the shelf and you felt yourself go backwards. You closed your eyes and braced for impact but it never came. Instead you felt arms wrap around your back and hip, securing you to a firm chest. You opened your eyes coming face to face with Bruce. Had his eyes always been that blue?

“What the hell were you doing.” He was angry, his blue eyes tightening with worry. A warmth flitted through you at the thought that he cared about your safety.

“Grabbing the printer paper.” You gasped out, bending to grab the ream that had fallen to the ground when you’d lost your grip.

“You could have injured yourself if I hadn’t shown up in time.” Bruce was still in your personal space and it was starting to overwhelm you. ‘Had he always been this… large?’ He seemed to tower over you.

“Yes, well I wouldn’t have needed to do all that if the cleaner would stop placing my printer paper up there.” You’d stepped back from Bruce, needing something to keep you from ogling your boss, you began fiddling with the printer.

“You could have waited for me.” He got in your space again, his voice softer now as he took the paper from your shaking hands.

“Do you understand how ridiculous it is to have to wait for the CEO of the company just to load a ream of paper into my printer?” You huffed out, turning back towards him now. The two stood there, chest to chest just staring at each other. You didn’t want to be the one to back down first, but you weren’t sure how much longer you could keep from blushing while staring into to his eyes.

‘What was with you today? You’d never had a problem going toe to toe with Bruce before. Now suddenly your acting like a horny school girl, daydreaming about climbing this man like-

“Fine.” Bruce stalked off to his office, an indiscernible glower on his face, leaving you to ponder what the hell had just happened. And why you seemingly out of nowhere had very inappropriate thoughts about your boss.

That night marked the first of many failed blind dates, agreed to only after having decided that it was your lack of a love life that had you daydreaming about your boss.

The next morning the box of paper was on the bottom shelf of the bookcase.

‘I’ve been watching but the stars refuse to shine

I’ve been searching but I just don’t see the signs

I know that it’s out there

There’s gotta be something for my soul somewhere’

Things between you and Bruce changed after that day. You’d never realized how comfortable you two had become with one another until you suddenly weren’t. You’d taken to communicating with him almost exclusively through emails and his calendar due to how awkward everything had become. He’d try to ask you about your life and you’d just clam up, not wanting to tell the object of your recurring lusty dreams about your string of failed dates. Failed because after less than two minutes you’d start comparing all of them to Bruce. The whole thing was getting so out of hand, you’d started seriously contemplating putting in for a transfer.

You’d been so lost in thought it took Bruce loudly clearing his throat for you to notice him standing in front of your desk.

“Yes, Mr. Wayne?” You’d resolved that complete professionalism was the only sure way to put everything back to normal. Or at least it will hopefully allow you to cling to some semblance of normal until you stop chickening out and put in for reassignment.

“I was wondering,” he seemed nervous, fidgeting with the snow globe I kept on the edge of my desk. “Do you have a date to the Christmas Gala?” Oh. He’s not? Is he? He couldn’t possibly-“I was just thinking if you didn’t have one, we could go together.” He was- “just as friends. We are friends aren’t we?” n’t.

“Yes, Mr. Wayne I suppose I’ve come to regard you as a” the word friend seemed to catch in your throat “friend over these last few months. But, to be quite honest with you, I wasn’t planning on attending the Christmas Gala.”

“You have too. In fact, I’m making it a mandatory requirement of your job that you have to be there. I’ll pick you up at 7pm.” He didn’t even give you time to respond before waltzing back into his office. It took all of 30 seconds for you to follow after him.

“You cannot force me to go to the gala Mr.Wayne.” You’d stopped in front of his desk, arms crossed over your chest.

“Why not?” He leaned back in his chair, smug smile glued to his face.

“Because I’m a human being with free will and, according to the Wayne Enterprises Employee Handbook, attempting to force me to attend would constitute harassment.” The smile slowly dropped from his face as he rose from his chair.

“If you truly don’t want to attend, I won’t push the matter.” He took slow, deliberate steps towards you, halting just far enough to be considered proper, but still close enough for you to catch the scent of his cologne. “However, it’d mean a lot to me if you did attend.” You’d been so distracted by his eyes and the seemingly sincere look on his face that you hadn’t even noticed he’d reached for your hand. You stood there utterly unmoored by the events of the past few minutes. You mentally shook your self out and opened your mouth to once again decline his invitation.

“Okay.” You were stunned with utter disbelief at the disconnect between your brain and your mouth. Bruce smirked.

“Perfect, like I said early I’ll pick you up around 7pm. If we’re going together, I really should match my tie to your dress. What colour is it going to be?” He’d started heading back to his desk.

“Mint.” You mumbled out. If you were going to be photographed on Bruce Waynes arm, even as just a friend, there was only one dress in your wardrobe that was even close to passable. Turns out you would get a second wear out of the bridesmaids dress from your sister’s wedding.

‘I’ve been looking for someone to shed some light

Not somebody just to get me through the night

I could use some direction

And I’m open to your suggestions’

The Christmas Gala was a disaster. The gala itself was wonderful, decorated to the nines, wonderful little hors d’oeuvres being passed around on trays that looked suspiciously like real silver. You however were a disaster. After entering the gala on Bruces arm, to the flash of what seemed like a million cameras, you’d been immediately pulled away to solve a crisis for the marketing assistants. The crisis turned out to be nothing more than a minor tear in her dress. One strategically placed safety pin later and you found yourself in the midst of the gala uncertain where Bruce had wandered off too.

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing standing alone?” Oliver Queen. You’d had several run ins with him whilst working for Bruce.

“Oliver, not that it’s any of your business but I’m looking for Bruce.” You didn’t even bother glancing at him, lest you encourage his flirtations. “You haven’t seen him recently, have you?”

“Does Brucie really have you working on Christmas? He truly has no shame. If you were working for me-“ You cut him off before he could descend into what was sure to be a thinly veiled innuendo.

“We’ve talked about this Oliver. I’m not interested in you, professionally or personally.” You levelled your iciest look at him.

“Sheesh, can’t even give a guy a shot in the spirit of Christmas?” You harden your glare. “Fine, fine. I can take a hint sometimes.” He raised his hands in surrender before placing them on your shoulders turning you in a full 180. “Your beloved Brucie is right there, and it seems he’s decided to use the spirit of the season to rekindle an old flame.” You were met with the sight of Bruce and Selina Kyle in an arch way locked in a kiss.

“Oh.” Logically you knew you had no right to be upset. Bruce had made it abundantly clear the two of you were just friends. But if that were true, why did this feel so much worse than any breakup you’d gone through in your near 25 years of life. “Excuse me, I need to- I should check- I…” You left Oliver standing there as you rushed from the ballroom.

‘All I wanna do is find a way back into love

I can’t make it through without a way back into love

And if I open my heart again

I guess I’m hoping you’ll be there for me in the end’

You wrote your two week notice on the train ride back to your apartment. You were sure you looked quite the sight, shivering in your evening dress, makeup running down your face from the tears you couldn’t hold back. It took an hour longer than normal to reach your corner of Gotham, it gave you time to compartmentalize. Due to the Holidays you’d only have to work out one week of your two weeks notice, but that was still one week of having to see the man who had unintentionally shattered your heart. The worst part is you couldn’t even be mad at him. He’d done nothing to lead you on or imply that you were anything more than friends. You’d simply allowed your imagination to get the better of you and now here you were crying because you’d broken your own heart. You were so lost in your own heartbreak you failed to notice the man standing outside your apartment building until you literally walked into him.

“I’m so sor-“ you began to tumble out an apology as you lifted your eyes to the face of the torso you’d just slammed into, only to be met with achingly familiar blue eyes. “Bruce?”

“You left.” He looked upset, almost as if he were the one heartbroken. “You didn’t even say goo- Have you been crying?” His hand lifts to your face, thumb trailing under your eye. You have to repress a shudder at the feeling of his warm hand on your cold cheek. “Was it Queen? Did he say something again? I’ll have him bared from the building.” You step out of Bruce’s embrace.

“No, it wasn’t Oliver Mr.Wayne.” Professionalism, detachment, that was the only way you were going to get through this final encounter with the man you’d come to love. “It was a personal matter and it’s been handled. But since you’re here I might as well do this face to face. I’m resigning from my position as your personal assistant effective immediately. I’ve already emailed HR and-“

“No.”

“No? This isn’t a yes or no, situation Mr. Wayne. I’m not asking your permission, I’m telling you. I quit.” You’re astonished at the level of strength in your own voice.

“No, you don’t. And while we’re at it you’ll stop with this Mr.Wayne nonsense and go back to calling me Bruce.” He’s agitated now, angry at you.

“Mr. Wayne once again it’s not up to you. I’ve already sent my notice to HR, and accepted a new position elsewhere.” A small lie, but a seemingly necessary one seeing how hard of a time Bruce seems to be having with grasping the concept of your departure from his life.

“Then I’ll buy this new company you work for.” He’s invaded your personal bubble once more.

“Mr. Wayne you can’t just buy a corporation to stop me from quitting.”

“Bruce, and yes I can. I’m a billionaire if you’ve forgotten.” You’re nearly chest to chest at this point. “If this personal matter is the reason you’re quitting, then let me help. I’m sure with your brains and my money we can figure out a solut-“

“I’m in love with you, you idiot.” You push at his chest, anger fuelling your every movement now. “I’m in love with you and I didn’t relish the thought of having to sit in that office day after day watching you moon over Seli-“ He’s kissing you. Bruce Wayne is kissing you. Your to stunned to do anything other than let him.

‘There are moments when I don’t know if it’s real

Or if anybody feels the way I feel

I need inspiration

Not just another negotiation’

When he’d finally pulled away, self satisfied look on his face, you began to berate him. It was his turn to be stunned into silence while you cursed him out in the middle of the street (unbeknownst to either of you, one of the teens from your apartment block filmed the whole thing. It went viral by morning and Wayne Enterprises PR team had to work overtime to spin it in the companies favour). It would take the better part of a week for him to convince you that what’d you seen was Selina’s last ditch attempt at winning him back. It’d taken him another two months of failed wooing attempts to finally get you to agree to be his girlfriend.

‘All I wanna do is find a way back into love

I can't make it through without a way back into love

And if I open my heart to you

I'm hoping you'll show me what to do

And if you help me to start again

You know that I'll be there for you in the end’

The song fades out and your left standing in the middle of your kitchen lost in thought when a gentle chuckle penetrates your subconscious. You whirl around to find Bruce leaned against the entryway, smile lighting up his face.

“How long have you been standing there?” You could feel a blush beginning to bloom across your cheeks.

“Does it matter?” He advances on you, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Yes, I need to gauge how embarrassed I should be.” You sink into his embrace, wrapping your own arms around his neck. He bends down and plants a gentle kiss on your lips.

“What were you thinking so intently about?” He gently sweeps an errant strand of hair behind your ear. It was your turn to plant a distracting kiss on Bruce’s lips, the last thing you needed was to inflate his ego. “Ah, so you were thinking about me.” He smirks when you break for air.

“I was not.” Your blush deepens, as if thinking about your husband was the most scandalous thing in the world.

“Mom’s always thinking about you. It’s kinda gross actually.” Jason sat atop your counter eating a cinnamon bun. “What do you even see in the old man anyway? You’re young, attractive and funny. You could do a lot better than Bruce.”

“Off my counter.” You pulled out of Bruce’s embrace to admonish your son. “And put that down, those are for brunch.” You swat his hand away from the fruit tray. He hops off the counter planting a kiss to your check, as he grabs the fruit tray and starts carrying it to the table in the adjacent dinning room.

“It is brunch though mother.” You startle a bit at the sound of Damians voice coming from beside you, nearly 15 years in and you still got startled by the way they all seemed to move in utter silence popping up from seemingly nowhere. At 5’4” your youngest was nearly eye to eye with you, a few more years and he’d tower over you like his brothers.

“Did you all collectively wake up and decided today was the day to disregard all of mom’s rules?” You move to turn off the speaker, mourning your few hours of peace and beginning to mentally prep for the chaos of having all 7 of the Wayne children in one dinning room. “Tim you better be putting that coffee into a cup.” You had a sixth sense for Tim’s caffeine habit and, unbeknownst to him, had been taking steps to curb it. Your most recent ingenious plan was slowly mixing decaf into the regular coffee. Your current batch of grounds was 60% decaf and only 40% caffeinated.

“Of course mom. I wouldn’t dream of breaking your rules.”

“Bullshit.” You whisper under your breath. “Aren’t you all currently breaking rule number 3?” The boys had the decency to at least feigen sheepishness.

“But it is brunch.” Duke, Stephanie and Cas shuffle into the kitchen together.

“Technically the wording of the rule does state that we’re not supposed to enter the kitchen until after brunch, which is why I entered the dining room through the hallway.” Richard leaned his head through the entryway between the two rooms.

“We get it, your mom’s favourite little suck up.” Jason slaps the back of Richards head on his way back into the kitchen. He loads his arms with various platters from the counter before turning back to his siblings. “Well come on half-wits, if you’re gonna break mom’s rules might as well make ourselves useful.”

“Jason, don’t hit your brother.” Your admonishment is half hearted at best, knowing full well your second eldest was likely to simply pretend to listen, while waiting till you turned your back to strike his older brother once again. “And Richard don’t even think about retaliating while he’s holding those platters.” You lean against the back counter running a hand through your hair, releasing it from its haphazard bun. You watch the other kids with the eyes of a well seasoned mother, fear for your antique dish-ware seizing you. You really should just invest in plastic dish-ware at this point, or perhaps you can commission Lucius to develop a line of indestructible dish-ware. There has to be a market for that, right?

Bruce comes to stand beside you, placing a mug of tea in your hands. You lean your head against his shoulder, a content sigh leaving your lips.

“No regrets?” He asks, as the sound of a squabble erupt from the dinning room.

“Not a one.” You smile. No, you wouldn’t trade this for anything. CRASH Okay, maybe you’d trade out whichever child just broke- CRASH - TWO plates. “Boys what did I just say about fighting with my antiques in your hands!”

[enkidusbi]

can i read your thesis i wanna know about how mesopotamians kept their loved ones close. i feel like there might be something about roots or foundations or grounding, connecting the family to the home & people to place both physically and metaphorically. gravesites are powerful powerful place connections and im really curious about what we know about a culture whose gravesites and homes were one and the same. i imagine they were pretty comfortable with death

so it's not online yet because i want to publish it first in a journal BUT i can tell you a bit about it. this is gonna be specifically about the old babylonian period (19-15th centuries BCE) because that's what my thesis is on, but with some changes it's pretty much applicable throughout mesopotamian history

so the basic thought behind burial under the houses is that the dead don't cease to part of the family. ancestor cult is an important aspect of mesopotamian culture and domestic religion. the netherworld is not a nice place, it's dark and dusty and all the spirits have for food is dust. but if you feed your ancestors (this is a ritual called the kispum which consists of food offering, libation and the calling of their names. it's a regular ritual that some sources say was done monthly, and others say it was during the yearly festival of the dead in the month of the god dumuzi/tammuz) then they'll have things to eat and drink in the afterlife! and if you are a spirit, the more descendants you have, the more your well-being is ensured! it's a symbiotic relationship. if your ancestors are satisified, they can help you out with things and act as sort of benevolent protective spirits over the household and the family, and also welcome you in the netherworld when you die. but spirits who were not properly buried or aren't given the proper offerings can wander, come back to haunt you and cause harm. if you would like to know more about this, i recommend dina katz's book, the image of the netherworld in the sumerian sources, an amazing read. the point is, the dead are part of the family, they have their metaphorical place in the family structure and a physical place in the home

people in the notes mentioned that moving probably was difficult. and it definitely was. some of the people buried in these houses were in underground tombs, built from burnt clay bricks, and some others were just in graves dug into the earthen floor, all around the houses. now these brick tombs are often found completely empty, no skeletons, nothing. which means that the family took them when they moved away. probably because they were in some way the most important ancestors, maybe the main lineage of the family? this part is not really clear because these bones are missing, they took them, we don't know anything about them. however, in ur, there are two examples of just the skull being buried and i think that means that family moved to this house from somewhere else and brought the skulls of their ancestors along and re-buried them. it's a very rare find though

from an anthropological perspective, the phyisical proximity of the graves in the same place where the living slept, ate, worked, raised children, etc, was a kind of constant reminder. of their shared ancestors, of their shared identitiy as a family and as a larger clan or kinship group. from a psychological point of view, it was a strategy of coping with grief

important to note also, that this was not practiced by every family. there are houses with no graves at all or just one or two graves, certainly not the whole household. this means that most likely there existed also cemeteries, burial grounds outside the cities. to my knowledge, no cemetary like this has been found yet. but it would be insanely interesting to see what they were like and how the people buried there were different from the people buried in the houses at the same time!

in the end, let me give you a quote from the myth of erra and išum (translated by karel van der toorn in the book mesopotamian magic). this is what a man says about his house:

"These are my living quarters, I have personally made them and will have my peace within them, and when fate has carried me off, I will sleep therein."

i said i can't write a poem about this. and i don't have to, because they already did and it's beautiful

[radioactive-earthshine]

Hi, I know you already addressed a lot of the mischaracterization of Kon and Clark's relationship, but I was under the impression that Kon actually means 'abomination' in Kryptonian, and that Clark giving him that name was a rejection in itself. I am not very well versed in comics, so I apologize if this is just a fanon concept.

Hello!

You're not alone in being misled, as this concept has stretched far and wide and it is a very common theme in fandom works like fanfic.

The concept of Kon-El meaning "abomination" is canon, not fanon, but its source is from the New 52 reboot.

Some fans have in an attempt to create more angst for Kon adopted the concept that Clark gave Kon this name knowing full well what it meant as a way of rejecting him - this is incorrect - and it is blending versions together to make something that just never actually happened with Clark.

There are two versions of Kon getting his name in a main continuity - one in the 1994 comics, and the other in the New 52 Superboy comics.

To best answer your question, I am going to talk about the New 52 version first where "Kon-El" means abomination.

Also, it is important to remember that this Kon-El, isn't even actually Conner Kent (that's another post for another day comics are weird).

Anyway, in the New 52 reboot Superboy is 'called' Kon-El not by Clark, but by Kara!

Superboy v.6 (2011-2014) #6

In this iteration, Kara has some extreme prejudiced bigotry towards "Kon" for being a clone due to the disastrous history Krypton had involving clones. It prompted her to attempt to kill "Kon" the moment she found out he was a clone after more or less calling him a slur.

Superboy v.6 (2011-2014) #6

You can blame Scott Lobdell for this particular evisceration of Kara's character and for the name Kon-El warping into 'abomination' henceforth.

This particular run and story is no longer relevant to main continuity and it is not attached to Conner Kent because this did not happen to Conner Kent, but it did in fact happen and Krypton's disastrous history involving clones is still canon as well. Kon is still facing varying degrees of discrimination from Kryptonian-based ideology (Eradicator) because he is a clone.

Now let's talk about Clark and Kon and where Kon-El first came from and put a stop to the slander.

Where the name "Kon-El" originally came from was from Conner's 1994 solo series where Clark offered it to him from a place of affection.

Superboy (1994) #59

The original moment of Kon obtaining his name from Clark was profound because up until this point he did not have a proper name. He was just "Superboy" or "Kid" or "Pup" (derogatory) so when Clark offers this Kon is so happy he starts crying.

Superboy (1994) #59

At this point in time in comic history Kon-El did not mean abomination, "Kon" was a real Kryptonian name, and in the original run Clark did not even have any resentment towards Kon or negative feelings about his existence at all. He trusted him, felt he was worthy of the S-shield as a representative of hope, and at this point he wanted him to be part of his family.

This is Clark adopting Kon into his family right here in this moment - because Superman is the tale of the immigrant, the refugee and of love in family where blood does not equal family. That is what he is saying right here in this issue.

It is also important to note that at this point Geoff Johns' making Kon a 'clone' of Lex AND Clark is not canon and Kon is not even supposed to be blood related to Clark.

In closing...

Clark's relationship to Kon/Conner Kent in the main comic continuity is not hostile or rejection-based.

In their comic origins they had a nebulous relationship which over time evolved to being firmly brothers with a huge age gap and now in current continuity they are again brothers but with a different perspective.

Action Comics #1028

Current continuity Clark who doesn't remember Kon at all knows him for less than a week and claims him and he is actually distraught he doesn't remember him.

Fandom is transformative and angst/hostility/rejection will always be a major theme people will love to create and consume - but it is also important to recognize that some details are simply not canon and should be regarded as transformative works to tell a story.

I hope this clears some things up from the comics side of DC.

[marcellaasblog]

Eyes for the Geezer.

Main masterlist

Older Eddie munson x reader

Summary: Your boyfriend Wyatt takes you to go meet his parents for the first time.When you find out Wyatt has been cheating on you threw out y'all whole relationship,you take Eddie up on his offer but will that do you any good in the end?

Warnings for the whole series: cheating, divorce, angst,smut, alcohol, smoking,p in v,daddy kink, pervert Eddie, Wyatt's mom is an ass to you, mention of Steve, insecure reader,dom Eddie, switch reader, Wyatt mom is a cheater,huge age gap,insecure Eddie, and of course fluff with a Happy ending??

Author's notes: Eddie is 50 reader is 27 . I'm gonna keep the same names from the old story. Beth (Eddie's wife) Wyatt (beth & Eddie son) mack/Mackenzie (Wyatts ex girlfriend)

So I thought I could put part 2 and 3 together with this,but that didn't happen it just looked all over the place and it was too long ,so why not just tease y'all with what I have.

Part 2 // part 3

part 1

.

.

Having a boyfriend was a tough situation to handle.

Being in relationships scared you.

Falling in love while your young fucked with you head on multiple acassions.

You had a boyfriend here and there,but they never seemed to last .

Growing up you had your little fantasy about getting married and having kids, being the best parent you could possibly be.

Which was something you never had.

You wanted to be the absolute best for yourself.

Was that too much to ask for?

You had a rough relationship with your mom,she would always say things that put you in an uncomfortable position.

You couldn't put your finger on why your mom treated you like if you didn't have feelings.

On the other hand you and your dad had a pretty okay relationship but wasn't as great either.you were the only child which makes it look like it was the best situation to live in.

It wasn't that you were lonely, very lonely.

The only thing you could do to fix your problem was to make friends,it was never an easy thing to do.you had to deal with lunches alone staying in the locker room for gym and no friends to talk to during class or passing periods,maybe the teachers but at that they really never bothered.

After graduation you finally felt free and excited to be away from family and mean school kids.You have goals and plans from your life you knew what you wanted and nothing was going to stop you from accomplishing them.

Well you thought.

.

.

.

You met Wyatt Munson on your 25 birthday at a local bar across from your campus,he was beautiful and unbelievable someone like him would walk up to someone like you.

Wyatt was tall,tan skin, Nice hair that framed his face perfectly as a bit of his fell onto his forehead.he was a proper man and definitely a Mama's boy by heart.

Y'all talked for about an hour straight having drinks come back and forth to y'all table. Wyatt was pretty, but so fucken borning. You wanted to end the conversation so badly,that's until Wyatt took you both to his hotel room and now he was pretty, borning and a fucken sex God.

Little did you know,you would be spending the next 3 years with him.

.

.

.

Wyatt decided to take a trip out to Hawkins Indiana the place we're he grew up most of his life .You never heard of it but you weren't about to turn down a road trip,you never know maybe y'all learn new things about Wyatt.

It was a 3 hour drive from your location to Hawkins so Wyatt made sure To be ready with blankets ,snacks and a good playlist.

Wyatt let you sleep on the way there knowing you get fussy if you don't have your special naps threw out your day.

How sweet of a boyfriend he is to you. Your so lucky.

.

You heard the sound of rain hitting your windshield ,your eyes are foggy and you're not ready to open them quiet yet. That's until you notice that the car was not moving anymore You groaned and stressed out your body hearing a thump from your dashboard as you hit your leg on it.

"Stuiped fucken dashboard." You get from your seat removing your blanket from your tired frame as you get out of the car.

Wyatt rushes next to you grabbing your blanket and hands "slow down baby you're gonna hurt yourself."

Wyatt grabs your hand helping you out of his car as he shuts the door behind you locking as he walks you up the stairs."where the hell are we?" You asked for your blanket from Wyatt.

." we're in Hawkins already and I decided to stop at a hotel tonight instead of heading to my mom's house." Wyatt Opens the door for you allowing you to go in first.

"plus my mom and my dad are probably asleep anyways." Wyatt leads you to the bed, setting you down.

"you should get some sleep baby we got a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

" You nod at your boyfriend's voice. "you gonna join me?"

Wyatt gets up from the bed unwrapping your hands from his waist"not now baby I gotta go get some things done real quick and I'll be back."

Wyatt gets up sliding on his jacket "where are you going so late"?"

You slide off your shoes tucking yourself into the rough covers. "uh you know just getting some drinks with an old friend but I promise I'll be back as soon as I can."

You sit up in bed "with who?" Wyatt scratches his chin. "uhh remember Mack my friend from college I mentioned a couple of times?"

You nod your head "oh yeah I remember,but why so late?" Wyatt grab his keys from the side table. "uh she just wanted to see me thats all"

you looked at Wyatt heading to the door "wait? She? you never told me mack was a girl"

Wyatt chuckled at your words, were you that dumb he thought to himself. "well what do you expect her names mack" you rolled your eyes at your boyfriend .

"fine Just be careful I guess" you laid down as Wyatt opens the door

"yeah yeah I know babe I'm an adult I will see you in a bit I love you" Wyatt heads out the door.

"asshole." you cover yourself up in the blanket drifting back in to your deep sleep .

.

.

.

You woke up to the sun appearing through the white stained curtains.you felt the warmth of your boyfriend's body laying beside you,still tired you slowly turned your body to face your boyfriend to see him heavily asleep. You caress his face slowly putting your hands over his pretty features touching every mole on his face and every strip of hair that fell on his forehead kissing his cheek.

Wyatt groans as he stirs awake"well good morning to you too." Wyatt kisses your forehead as he runs his fingers through your bed hair.

"So you ready to meet my parents" You squint your eyes pulling the covers over your head .

"Oh come on baby don't be dramatic." He pulls the sheets down letting you lean your head on his chest.

"What if they don't like me?" Wyatt rubs your back trying to get you to relax but he knows you're still going to doubt yourself.

" Y/n baby I love you and I promise they will too."' You let out a groaning sound cuddling up into your arms , you kiss his face all the way down to his neck when your eyes catch a mark on the side of his neck. You really didn't think much about it so you let it go.

Maybe it's an old one you gave him?

"Well we better get going, we only have an hour left for room anyways." Wyatt takes you off of his putting you on your back as he gets up from the bed.

Your eyes scan Wyatta's body as he gets up only to see that there were red scratches on his back,his whole back was covered.

"Hey what's wrong with your back? Did you hurt yourself or something?"

Damnit forgot about those.

"Uh no why?" Wyatt asked as he put his shirt back on.

"There's red marks all over your back babe" Wyatt clears his thoughts.

"Um it's probably nothing,let's get dressed already, you're probably going to take forever anyways .' Wyatt walks to the restroom slamming the door .

Fucken dickhead.

Why is he acting so weird all of a sudden?

You got up from bed ready to start your day.

.

.

.

Wyatt stops In Front of this beautiful white house, there was a garden in the front with different kinds of pretty colorful flowers. The grass looks greener than ever. There was also a bird's fountain with a small waterfall in the center of the Yard.

"What the fuck." You whispered as you were admiring his family home.

Wyatt chuckled taking his seatbelt off "it's pretty isn't it"

"It's more then pretty it's fucken magical"

"What you never saw a house before" he Glocks his eyebrow up.

"No.Not like this"

"Well come on then let me show you inside your gonna love it"

Wyatt gets out of the driver side jogging to your side opening the door for you .You take his hand as he puts his keys up pressing the button to like his car to lock it.

You walk up to the house Wyatt can feel your hands getting sweaty."hey,it's gonna be okay babe I promise." You smile at him as he knocks on the door.

"Coming." You hear. Women's voices from inside the house. The older woman opens the door ."Oh my god my baby boy, how have you been?" She squealed in excitement giving Wyatt a big hug giving him kisses all over his face as Wyatt tried to swat her away from him.

She was beautiful. She had dark black short hair.She was curvy and short. She had a couple of tattoos herself which you thought was cool.

You could tell she was Cooking by all the flour she had on her purple top and face.

"Well come on, kids get inside."she waves y'all into the house

The inside was beautiful, the floors were marble and the furniture was this beautiful gray and navy blue. It was definitely very expensive.

She walks you and Wyatt to the kitchen letting y'all have a seat at the table.

"Mom, this is y/n my girlfriend." You smile at Wyatt turning to his mom she walks over to you giving you a big hug "it's nice to finally meet you y/n Wyatts told us a lot about you and by the way my name's beth but you can just call me Ms.Munson" she says giving your arm a big squeeze before returning back to the stove.

"So were is dad?" Wyatt spoke up again.

"He's in the shower and told him he needed to clean up because he smelled." She giggled, stirring whatever might be in the pot.

"What did I tell you about bullying dad mom you know how sensitive he Gets" Wyatt laughs

"Oh calm down he's a big boy he can handle it ,plus I was just fucking around with him he knows that Wyatt."

"Yeah but remember last time he got mad at you for breaking his Garfield mug."

"Maybe he should clean his own hair out of the drain,his hair sheds more than my hair does,like don't get me wrong honey,I love your father's hair but it was way better back then but now it just looks bad." She wrinkled up her nose.

"Why don't you tell him to cut it then." Wyatt asked, taking off his jacket and hanging it behind his chair.

"Believe me, baby I keep on telling him it's not the 80s anymore,so get rid of that shit and it's the same thing everytime. you sound like my dad it's my hair I can do whatever I want with it" she mocks her husband.

God, you're already getting annoyed with her and you barely spoke to this woman.

"Well he does have a point but a trim won't hurt."

"Yes it will hurt, boy it's my hair." A voice said coming from the living room.

"Finally you're out what took you so long,wait let me guess your hair." Beth joked.

"You know it." The older man said, stepping into the kitchen.

Holy shit he was hot!

Like how beth said he had long salt and pepper hair,he was tall and bulky he has a sleeve of tattoos on his right arm and Wyatts and Beth on his Left bicep he was wearing a gray muscle shirt and some old blue work jeans that had a couple of patches on his back pocket,not like you were staring at his ass or anything it just caught your eyes.

I mean he does have a nice ass.

"Ah you must me y/n,I hope." the older man joked,trust me he knew who you were. Eddie brings you and Wyatt into a hug,he smelled like after shave and one of those men's cheap cologne you could find at a pharmacy,and his arms were huge and hugged you tightly as his biceps flexed around your frame you could feel his beard and mustache tickle the top of your forehead and his hot breath on your ear .

"Yeah yeah I mean yes it's great to finally meet y'all,Wyatt tell me a lot about y'all."

"No I don't." Wyatt said as you turned your head around at him giving him a Disappointed Expression.

Eddie chuckled at your flustered face.

"Hey it's alright honey you don't need to impress us" Eddie leans in "I mean I'm already impressed by you from what I know." Eddie whispered into your ear sending chills down your body. You make eye contact with him as he sits right across from you and he sends you a wink.

Eddie knew what he was doing. Your reaction is the same as all the other young women that would be around him,but there was just something so intriguing about you and he wanted to see how long it takes for you to break. You looked like a good girl but once he gets his hands on you ,you sure as hell won't act like one.

He knew it was wrong to try to start anything with his son's girlfriend but at that he knew his son's reputation and it wasn't a good one when it came to relationships.

Wyatt was just like his mom.

So Eddie wanted to have a little fun too.

He made sure to do a little research on you before you came I mean all he needed was your name and boom all social medias appeared

Was he stalking your account for a couple of months now?

Maybe.

Did he jerk off a couple of times to your bikini pictures you posted on Instagram?

Maybe.

Does he have saved photos of you in his phone?

Maybe...okay yes he did.

He knew he needed to take things slow he didn't want to scary you off or make you uncomfortable but after seeing you squirm under his vision he's pretty positive it will go just fine and no one will get hurt.

He hoped.

It sure as hell wouldn't stop Beth from sleeping with her ex Steve or Wyatt still going to go see mack.

Eddie felt bad that you didn't know who Wyatt really was and he sure as hell didn't raise him to be like that.

Is he trying to get back at Beth and teach Wyatt a lesson.

Yes.

Did he really want to fuck you.

Also yes.

His son was no real man too you and his wife was ungrateful.

And Eddie wanted to show you how a real man could treat you

You would find out sooner or later about wyatt and once you do, he's positive you will take up his offer in no time.

But will Eddie's offer be good for you in the long run??

[reneesghostinthelivingroom]

Hey! Could I request a Janis Imiike (2024) x reader imagine where R is part of the plastics and Janis and reader are in a secret relationship but when Cady joins the Plastics she gets a crush on reader and Janis gets jealous?

If You Fall, I'll Be There

|| Janis Imi'ike x fem!reader

|| Warnings: secret relationship, jealousy, bit of one sided Cady x reader, very small mentions of death but no actual death (i hope this makes sense)

|| Summary: reader’s part of the plastics and is secretly dating Janis. Cady develops a crush on reader when she joins the group, Janis isn’t too happy with how close Cady gets to you and makes sure everyone knows it.

Requests open!

Started: May 28th

Finished: September 9th

~~~

You were a plastic in a relationship with Janis Imi'ike. Of course, no one knew about it. Besides Damian. If Regina ever found out, she would socially kill you. Maybe physically too.

So all your time with Janis was spent in secret, behind closed doors.

Whenever you went to her place, you'd even go as far as to make sure your location was off. The two of you haven't even gone on a proper date. The risk of it was too high. Not that Janis or even you minded, the both of you loved your little home dates. Damian would sometimes play waiter for the two of you and set up a romantic dinner in Janis' kitchen. The gesture was sweet, but you couldn't help feeling amused every time he did it. Especially when he would use his dramatized French accent.

The day Cady joined the plastics was definitely... interesting, of course Janis had told you all about her plan to take Regina down from the inside. She would have asked you to do it but thought it might be too risky; which you understood. So Cady was the spy. Besides, Janis didn’t want anything to happen to you in the crossfire. Though she would never be caught dead admitting that out loud.

The changes in Regina were subtle and none of you exactly noticed them at first as the three worked behind the scenes to bring her down. You had specifically requested to not have any part of it, they were fine with that. However, you did start to notice something going on with Cady. She had a different vibe around you that she didn’t have for the other girls in the group. She was always asking something of you. Whether it was questions to math (that you didn’t know the answers to, so you gave her fake answers to avoid giving her the awkward “I don’t know” response), she would always sit next to you at the plastics table; and as if the time you spent at school together wasn’t enough, she would constantly ask if you were busy after school. You always said yes. Truthfully, you usually were. If you weren’t busy with Janis (which was half of the time, probably more) you were busy with family stuff. Life after school was genuinely busy for you, much to Cady’s disappointment.

One morning, you were in French with Gretchen and Cady. The three of you always sat together, as much as you would rather be with Janis and Damian who were behind you. Cady sat on your right, seemingly confused with something as she nudged over her paper to you with a frown,” Hey. Y/N? Could you help me with this? I don’t know what it means.” You didn’t pick up on the fakeness in her tone.

With a sigh, you leaned over a little to get a better look at her sheet. You vaguely knew what the task was, though you weren’t 100% sure; “I think it’s saying to name three well known French cities, then explain what made them famous.” Yeah, that sounded right.

“Here, let me check.” Gretchen took the paper, you missed the slight annoyance in Cady’s eyes, and read it over in her head. Gretchen was pretty good with languages, at least from what you’d gathered. She looked at you with a smile,” Yeah! That’s basically the vibe.”

You nodded in thanks while Gretchen handed the paper back to Cady, who seemed reluctant almost to take it.

Janis had been watching the interaction, narrowing her eyes as she especially watched Cady and how she was behaving around you. Janis knew damn well that Cady knew what everything meant. What game was Cady playing at? Janis wasn’t sure, but she knew she didn’t like it. Whatever it was. She nudged Damian, who looked up from his phone.

“What?”

“Did you see that?” Janis asked, gesturing to the three.

Damian raised an eyebrow,” girl, what are you talking about?”

“Cady and Y/N.” Janis muttered, she hadn’t realized how tight the grip on her pencil was until she was accidentally snapping it in half. The sound of the snap brought her back to reality as she looked at it, then Cady, then Damian.

“Okay, in the words of Taylor Swift. You need to calm down. I’m just gonna take this…” He not so subtly reached for the now broken pencil (that Janis was holding much like a little shank in each hand) and tucked them away into the desk. “Plus, this is Y/N. That girl is like a personified golden retriever. She wouldn’t hurt you if the state of the world depended on it.”

“No, I know.” Janis flexed her fingers a bit, having not realized just how tight her grip on that poor pencil had been. “It isn’t Y/N I’m worried about.”

Janis would watch over the next week as Cady’s behaviour with you only seemed to get worse. Until one day, when everyone was in the cafeteria. Janis saw Cady playing with your hair (you tried telling her to stop and she wouldn’t listen) and she finally had enough.

She walked over to the plastics table.

You tensed a little when you saw her, wondering what she was going to do. Janis was unpredictable, which you loved about her but you also knew that meant she had a tendency to start trouble.

Regina noticed Janis and was visibly disgusted,” Ew. No. Why is it at our table?”

You wanted to glare at Regina for that comment, but you didn’t. Remembering you had to act as though you didn’t know who Janis was. You were a plastic, she was an art freak. But Janis’ gaze was on you and the look in her eyes was hard to ignore. The moment you tried to look away, Janis grabbed you by your chin (completely ignoring Regina’s comment and the confusion in everyone’s eyes) and kissed you.

Your eyes were wide, your body stilled for a moment as a gasp rang out throughout the cafeteria. Gretchen practically screamed.

Then, you kissed back. Standing from your table and pulling Janis flush against you.

Everything stood still.

In that moment, nothing mattered. Not your status, not the eyes of everyone, not the shock on Cady’s face and not the pure disgust in Regina’s eyes. You didn’t care. You had Janis. Janis was all that mattered. All that you felt.

And that’s the story of how you lost your social life. Did you care? Maybe part of you missed it. But you wouldn’t change how things played out even if you could. You could openly be with Janis now. Even if the results of that were your only friends being Janis and Damian. Does your girlfriend even count as a friend? If not, then your only friend was Damian.

Not that you minded. You found you fit in better here anyway than you ever did with the plastics.

[rafesapologist]

the set up — rafe cameron; part two

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: you've been one of the pogues since childhood, and your loyalty has always lied within your friend group, who is practically your family. when a threat by the name of rafe cameron begins to threaten the pogue's plans, they assign you to gain the trust of the dubious kook and keep an eye on what he's up to. however, now it's been six months since your friends set you up to spy on the kook prince himself, but what you didn't anticipate was to fall head over heels for the boy. your relationship had soon become inviolable shortly after your guys' first exchanges, much to your friends' dismay, and you two became practically inseperable. that was, until rafe discovers the truth.

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴(𝘀): cussing, slight angst (?), topper being annoying, some flirting, possible mentions of drug use

𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲: thank you guys for all of the love on the first part of this story! genuinely, it means so much to me that you guys enjoyed it. pls bare with me as far as adding some of you who asked about being on my taglist, i've had tumblr for like 11 years now but i've never posted my writings on here before so i'm figuring things out to keep it all organized! it's also likely this will become a series, bc there's so much more to tell w this story. let me know if you'd like to be added! anyways, thank y'all again. mwah

-𝘀𝗶𝘅 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗵𝘀 𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗿-

The plan was finally set in stone. After many weeks of scheming and devising up a strategy with the help of Pope's unparalleled intellect, and JJ's bizarre inebriated ideas, you and your friends eventually came to an agreement. You had one month to gain the trust of none other than Rafe Cameron, Kook prince and vain asshole. You knew ahead of time that the task itself was not going to be an easy one, especially after Sarah had warned you of how untrusting her brother was with everyone, besides his dad. What made it even harder was that Rafe already knew that you were a Pogue, his number one enemy in the world. But despite his wariness and bitterness towards your kind, at the end of the day, Rafe was no stronger than any other man when it come to his desires and urges.

Sure you were a Pogue from the Cut, but you still knew how to clean up exceptionally well, and regardless of how much he loathed people like you, Rafe couldn't resist you when you'd show up at the golf course he frequented, dressed up in your short pink tennis skirt and a white polo collar crop top. You knew that the fastest way to the Kook prince's heart was through cajolery and the use of magnetism, so when JJ scored you a job as a bev cart girl at his work in order to be in direct contact with the Cameron's son, you transformed your appearance to that of a temptress.

You had been employed at the golf course for about a week before you had a proper interaction with Rafe. Before that, you were mostly being occupied by his best friend, Topper Thornton, who made it his mission to chat you up during your every shift that he was there for. It was a minor displeasure to have to endure Topper's desperate attempts at flirting with you, but you reminded yourself that you were there for one reason - Rafe.

"Y/n! Hey!" You heard a familiar, grating voice call out to you, stopping you in your tracks immediately. Topper.

"Hey Top," you masked your irritation through a forced smile as you quietly sighed to yourself, mentally preparing for the exchange you were about to have, "what's up?"

Topper flashed you a small, genial smile in return at the sound of your soft-spoken voice, "Was hoping I'd see you hear today, the other bev cart girl kind of sucks." He joked in his typical monotonous tone, shaking his head as he let out a half-hearted chuckle.

Behind him you heard a deep, dry laugh approach the conversation, catching you off guard at the sudden noise. Your eyes shot over to the direction at which the sound was coming from, and once you discovered just exactly who it came from, your heart skipped a beat.

"What a simp," the smoky voice of the dirty blond Kook teased as he nudged Topper's arm, "flirting with the damn bev cart girl."

You could feel heat rise to your, now, flushed cheeks at the low-pitched tone that sent vibrations down your spine. You found yourself peering up coyly at the tall stature in front of you, soon being met with a piercing set of blue eyes that locked with yours. His stare felt rather domineering as he eyed your half-exposed figure, which only made you feel more vulnerable than before. As if that wasn't enough, your breath hitched when you noticed the way he bit down on his lip subtly while his eyes found their way to your mini skirt. The feeling of Rafe watching you so intently had your body heat rising gradually, an impuissant energy coarsing through your veins as you watched him tower over you.

"I do have a name." You interjected, deriding Rafe's comment that felt as though he was reducing you to nothing but a beverage cart attended, which had you rolling your eyes internally at his ignorance. However, in order to refrain yourself from catching an attitude with the boy, and quite frankly because part of you was scared, you pressed your lips together in an attempt to keep what composure you had left in you.

Topper chuckled in regard to your statement, finding it amusing that you had the guts to, somewhat, stand up to Rafe Cameron. Something very few people did, and the ones that did, barely lived to regret it.

"Well excuse me," Rafe tilted his head condescendingly at you, an arrogant smirk forming on his lips, "why don't you tell me your name then? Don't think we've had a chance to meet yet." His words sounded welcoming but his tone told another story. You could tell by his burning stare and snarky timbre that he was trying to get a rise out of you, this was a game to him. But it was his mistake for misjudging the kind of person you were, because you had just enough stamina to give it right back to him.

"Y/n," you stated matter-of-factly, "I've only been here about a week now, but typically I'm the one delivering the drinks to you and your friends. Which seems to be often." You satirize back at him, your voice remaining at the same soft and subtle pitch it's usually at, which only throws Rafe off even more at your remark. You could feel a sense of chagrin radiating from the petulant Kook as he momentarily glared at you, only to be set off even more once Topper erupts in a brief fit of laughter, patting his friend on the back in a teasing manner.

"See, told you she's better than the other girl." Topper bantered at his moody friend, whose glare hadn't left your figure since you spoke last. Part of you felt like withering away the longer Rafe burned holes into you with his scowl, but you remained in place, refusing to let him get the best of you.

After another minute of Topper basking in the humor of the situation that had just occurred, he finally walked off back to the rest of his friend group that accompanied him to the golf course, all of course being Kooks. Your confidence seemed to falter following the absence of the preppy teen, now having been left with the irascible Kook who seemed to have inched closer to you since you two had been left alone. You gulped quietly as you broke eye contact with the dirty blond, keeping your eyes glued to the ground as you felt him approach you closer and closer.

"You know I will say, even though you are a Pogue," Rafe lowered his voice, the sultry tonality of it purring in your ear as he brushed your hair aside, "you are pretty nice to look at." His tantalizing words setting off fireworks at the pit of your stomach, feeling as though your knees were going to buckle beneath you.

Then suddenly, an idea popped up in your head. You were there for a reason, and that reason was standing right in front of you, the perfect opportunity right at your feet. Play along with him. You told yourself.

You looked up at him through your eyelashes, an innocent facade casted over your dewy-eyes. Your body language relaxed a bit, shoulders dropping as you attempted to invite him into your company before you spoke, "I don't see you doing anything about it, Cameron." You whispered softly, voice barely audibly to anyone besides you and Rafe. Your comment seemed to have taken him by surprise since his eyes went wide and his eyebrows raised instantly, but you could see a glimpse of amusement in his azure irides. A sense of victory washed over you as you realized Rafe was slowly, but surely, falling into your trap.

"Trust me," Rafe hummed to himself, looking your physique up and down once more, "I've thought about it."

You smirked up at him in response, "Why's that?"

"Because for the past week, I've seen you parading around this place like you have no clue in the world how these men look at you. So naive to the way they all gawk at you. I can't tell if it's just you playing dumb, or that you genuinely have never been told. But if that's the case, I'll gladly be the one to show you." Rafe whispered fondly in your ear, his body so close to yours that the smell of his cologne clouded your airways and put you in a daze.

"What would you show me?" You asked naively, acting as though you were blissfully unaware of the way that those putrid old, rich men gaped at you as you strolled around on your golf cart, hoping they could get a better view up your skirt as the wind blew while you drove by. Truth be told, their goggling made you feel queasy and uncomfortable, but you had a promise and a plan to stick to for your friends' sake, even if it was at the expense of your amenity.

"I'd take you out of that hell-hole of a place you Pogues reside at. Show you what it's like to be a Kook for once. With your looks, I think you'd fit in just nice. A Kook princess." Rafe's eyes began to darken with a strong urge to covet you to accept his offer, except little did he know, it was exactly what you wanted to hear from him.

"So prove it to me."

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

"No fucking way." Kiara expressed in disbelief at the recount of your interaction with Rafe Cameron earlier that day. Proud was an understatement to describe the feeling your friends' had towards you once you had told them just how the boy immediately fell for your tricks. In all honesty, the Pogues, yourself included, assumed it would take a bit of time to weasle your way into Rafe's interest, but in reality all it took was a short tennis skirt and flashing your doe eyes at him. It was almost comical how fast the leery Kook fell for it and you.

"So now what? Where do we go from here?" You asked, walking over to the dilapidated couch where your best friend, JJ, sat with a joint in his hands. As usual, you found your seat right in JJ's wide-open lap as you gently snatched the blunt right from his fingers and putting it in-between your gloss covered lips. The blond frowned at the theft of his beloved joint, but his sorrows were soon erased as he watched you inhale, becoming entranced in your movements, unbeknownst to you.

"Just keep things going with him," Sarah added, "keep him interested. Rafe's usually the type to use girls and disregard them afterwards, so you've got to keep him on his toes."

You sighed in response, taking in the magnitude of how difficult the plan your friends' conspired may be. "Alright, sounds easy enough." You replied sardonically.

"He's not going to be an easy one to crack, but we've got to do this. If this doesn't work, we'll all be fucked." Pope chimed in with his typical state of panic and distress.

"It'll be fine, Pope. Y/n has got this." Kiara reassured, flashing you a small supportive smile as if she could sense your own self-doubt radiating off of you.

"Well I'm going to bed, it's been a long day," John B announced as he stood up from the armrest of the couch, "good job with everything you did today, y/n. Knew you could do it." He smiled as he approached you, giving you an encouraging high-five before ruffling up your hair some. Behind the brunette came Sarah, who followed him back to his bedroom once she said her goodnight's to everyone in the living room.

"I think we're gonna head out, too. Pope has been stressing me out about this damn plan all day and my head hurts." Kiara commented shortly after Sarah and John B exited the room, "I'll see you guys tomorrow." She gave a soft smile before dragging Pope to the spare bedroom of the chateau with her. With the new absence of your coupled-up friends, you found yourself sitting in a comfortable silence with your blond best friend, JJ. You sat slouched horizontally across his lap, feeling his warm fingertips trace gentle lines across your exposed thighs.

"Y/n?" JJ muttered, his blue eyes somewhat hazy from the high he was experiencing.

"Hmm?" You hummed tiredly as you turned your head to face him.

"You're not like, actually gonna date him.. Are you?" The boy asked with all sincerity in his voice, which made your heart flutter.

"Of course not, that'd be crazy." You laughed, shrugging off JJ's evident concern.

"Okay good. Yeah I just, I don't know, that dude is crazy. A girl like you shouldn't be caught up with someone like that." JJ stated, scratching the back of his head as the feeling of awkwardness crept up on him while he approached the new topic.

"What do you mean by that?" You raised your eyebrow at him in confusion, lost by what point he was trying to get at.

"Well you.. You're you, and Rafe, he's just insane. Dude gets in fights every other week, I mean he's definitely got to be on something. No sober, right-minded person acts like he does and he just-"

"What about me?" You interrupted the blond's endless tangent, which could have went on for hours if you let him keep talking.

"Oh. Well you know, you're important to me and I just don't want you getting hurt by him. He's not a good guy, y/n. And if he ever did something to you I'd kick that son of a bitch right in his-"

"JJ," you stopped him, laughing at his blethering, "that's not going to happen, I promise you. So don't worry about it." You assured him, shaking your head lightheartedly.

"Just sayin'." JJ added as he shrugged, his back beginning to sink further into the couch as his body grew more relaxed. You found comfort in that moment with your dearest friend, watching his chest rise and fall gradually as he breathed. You felt yourself growing more and more drowsy as the mixture of silence and a comatose state washed over you. Ignoring the fact that you were still sat in JJ's lap and not having the energy to care to move off of it, you allowed yourself to rest gently against JJ's chest, his warm skin heating you up like a blanket. He accepted your gesture and gave you room to snuggle up into him, nuzzling your face into his neck gently. Before sleep could fully take over, you felt JJ shift a bit as he leaned over to grab the nearest blanket next to him, throwing it over the two of you just before shutting his eyes and dozing off to sleep himself.

It was safe to say you felt a great sense of accomplishment at what you had managed to achieve that day, with Rafe seeming to so easily give in to his desire and invite you into his life without much question. However, it was just the beginning and you still had an entire month to gain his trust and keep it. It all seemed so easy, but anything involving Rafe Cameron was bound to be complicated.

But nobody could have anticipated what was to come.

𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁: @bibliophilewednesday , @sublimepenguinpeach-blog

[adhd-fandom-hyperfocus]

✧₊⁺ Of Fatherhood And Dreams Not Spoken ✧₊⁺

Pairing: Roboute Guilliman x OC (Astraea)/ Khan is in this. It's mostly him and Roboute talking.

Author's Note: Because I'm terrible at writing a story proper. I rather just write drabbles from the overall plot I have in mind. That being said this overall plot I have named "Wisdom in the Stars". And here are some key things to note for this overarching story:

This is all very self-indulgent and I will not apologize. If the Grimdark can be extra, so can I!

Bobby G's love interest is a xenos of my making, so they are as long-lived as him, but not a perpetual.

Again mad self-indulgent. Oozing copium by the ton

Rowboat Guillotine deserves a happy life and some damn peace

So many Primarchs are going to be back in some drabbles. Again no fucks given

Proofread? Never heard of her

I like saying Roboute's name wrong as a means of affection.

Warnings: Slight nsfw at the end. Talks of pregnancy, children, and kinks of the breeding variety.

18+ ONLY

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

There were oh so many things he's done that made those words that thundered in his head in a cacophonic choir ring true. Tool. Betrayer. Theif. Why did he focus on those? Perhaps deep down he knew them to be true.

He wanted to be a good son, and he was to his parents. But to his creator? The one that called him his last hope? Even now with all that was accomplished, he wasn't so sure. An effective tool? That he was.

Oh, how that was the crux of this all now. Because something was breaking. Had been for so long. The strict need to follow His every word, every teaching to the letter had long started to crumble. To this point, he could justify it. Excuse himself. But this?

Vibrant blue eyes that had started to have a light behind them, a sign of the better times he was in, gazed down at the dataslate. The message he was reading was still open, not that he needed to read it again. The words burned into his mind. Screamed of his selfishness and brought the crippling fear he might fall like the one before him that wanted such heretical things for himself.

The wrestling of what parts of him were human had never been so hard. Basic human needs were beyond him. At least he believed that. But since his revival and she walked into his life...Why hadn't the Emperor made them machines?

His gaze moved again, this time back to the garden in which he sat, relaxing of sorts. Something he was learning to do. He wasn't sure if he liked it or not yet. She was playing with some children of her maidens. The laughter of the little ones made him impossibly light and much larger than he was.

Those sounds filled him with feelings new, but also familiar. He sounded like that when his mother played with him, and cared for him. Yes, he was a child once, despite how quick his mind grew. His mother never let that stop him from being a child in some capacity.

Yet those laughs terrified him and cast a deep shadow of guilt and shame. Not for him, never for him. A Primarch has no need for biological children, any children. He had his Astartes sons. The best of the best are forged through painful surgeries and grueling tests. Mass-produced versions of the tool they were templated from. He was a god of war, a weapon, and weapons do not need things their masters need.

Roboute scowled. When the stirrings rose up, hot and drowning him out.

"You should do it."

Roboute had been so lost in his mind he hadn't noticed Jaghatai had taken a seat next to him.

"Excuse me?" Guilliman asked. His composure not once gave a hint of how chaotic his mind was at the moment.

At first, it was as if Khan wasn't going to answer him, "Horus, would slip from time to time, about how his children would rule the stars after the crusade was done. Even when Malcador with cold words would remind him, that the only reproducing we would have were our gene-sons," Khan sighed, "You are not going to turn into the next Horus because you long for family not us, or your gene-sons. Do the procedure."

Before Roboute could ask how he knew that was on his mind, or even what he was told Jaghatai continued, "You've been watching Astraea and those kids with so much intent like you were trying to manifest something. That and you happen to want to go to the planet in their empire that is known for its advanced DNA work medical procedures on many races? Namely in the areas of conception? Please. Most of our brothers might be blind, but I and Corvus know better. You're the one who took your gene-seed sample, yes?"

Guilliman nodded, "I assume Corax is the one who found that out?"

Khan nodded, "And Cawl, they handled it. So do it. You out of all of us, always thought of a galaxy at peace, or the closest to it. You never lived for the hunt, the fight, but the peace. You fought for peace over thrill and power. So take this. You are not Horus. You are not weaker. I think we are all starting to wake up in a sense. It is...uncomfortable. But perhaps, we are more than the sum of our creation?"

"I hope so." was all Roboute could say.

༺═──────────────═༻

This, out of everything was what he loved now that the galaxy wasn't on the verge of ending. Laying in bed with Astraea while a fire burns gently. Her soft hums lull him into comfort and bliss. Large fingers drew little circles over her belly, as his mind offered him images of her heavy with their children. How, as much as he hated the word, divine she would look. Oh, how he would worship her. A goddess in her own right. a living one who brought life into the world. Life she deemed him worthy of creating with her.

His mind continued with the future it was offering. How she would waddle about and rely on him to help her stand, or lean against when walking took everything. Her trying to ride him when is looks so ready to pop. How he would fuck her like he could put another one in her before the first child is born. Her already beautifully full breasts, engorged and heavy with milk.

Roboute blushed when he felt himself pushing against her. He craved it so bad, despite how much it scared him.

"Roboute?" Astraea hummed looking over her shoulder with an impish grin, "And here I thought you were tired."

She kissed his chin, as she turned to face him, hands roaming over his strong broad chest, before gliding down to his erection.

He could smell it, she was already aroused. Oh, how she melted for him so easily. But he was the same for her. There were some days he had to force himself away from her for a bit, worried all he would do is fuck her until they both were raw and overtaken by the ruinous powers.

"Would you want children?" Roboute asked, between his heated breaths and needy kisses.

Astraea looked at him a bit surprised, and yet like she half expected this, "I thought we had to wait on even marrying, let alone speak of family. But of course I want children. You know this." she replied.

He did. But he still wanted to ask, as if her mind had suddenly changed.

"Good," he smiled rolling on top of her, holding himself up on his knees, which were on each side, "Then we should get some more practice in."

He leaned down and nipped at her ear, as a hand moved over her breasts and down to her hot core, "For once the procedure is done, you are not leaving my side and bed until it sticks."

This might be the single most selfish thing he would do, but he wouldn't regret it. He wanted to feel human, to understand all that he had been fighting to protect for all these long years.

[storm-angel989]

can i request headcanons for being Valentino and Vox's daughter ? Thank you and stay hydrated ♡

GREAT Request!

I’ve never actually written something like this before, so forgive me. I’ve spent much more time thinking about Valentino’s daughter than Vox’s daughter and have written more for the former, so obviously Val’s daughter is much more developed. This is more of a sketched out list, so forgive any tense issues or grammar errors! Also disclaimer: these can change, evolve and adapt with each passing story <3 

If any of these headcanons catch your eye, feel free to drop a request! I’m always taking them- this month has just been incredibly busy. I appreciate the reminder to stay hydrated, I needed it!!

Looking forward to the summer when I have a bit more time for all of the writing things! In the meantime, keep them coming. Whenever I get a request, it goes right into a google doc. Most of the time when inspiration hits, content gets scribbled into that google doc until I have time to edit and sort it out…so just because there is a delay, doesn’t mean it won’t get done! And inspiration hits in the most random of places <3

Headcanons for being Valentino’s daughter (whose mom is half angel wife from OTO)

-For the most part you grew up normal (well as much as you can with a living in the V tower)

-There was always someone there to snuggle or play with, and always someone willing to put a bandaid on a boo boo

-Your Daddy gave the best snuggles and hugs and you took over your parents bedroom until you were six

-Even after, you insisted at least one adult lay down with you until you feel asleep until you hit your teenage years 

-When you’re sick you go to Valentino first, which is a good thing because of all the gross things little kids do, he handles it the best. You once overheard him compare a sick toddler to a drunk adult.  

-When you’re little little, you love listening to your family’s heartbeat. That feeling of safety along with a warm bottle usually puts you right to sleep. 

-Vox was your primary babysitter, and it wasn’t unusual to fall asleep in his arms, under his desk or even in his chair while he worked. He often conducted meetings and held you while you slept. 

-You’re known for sneaking out of bed and more than once you’ve been found asleep on the couch and carried back to bed. 

-You secretly think your Dad makes the best pancakes but you don’t want to hurt your Uncle Vox’s feelings

-Neither Mommy nor Daddy let you in their studios 

-You were always welcome in Velvette or Vox’s studio as long as you followed directions and kept away from Vark and the rest of your Uncles sharks

-Your Dad gave you no shortage of love and affection 

-Though it was really your Uncle Vox that spoiled you 

-You were never allowed to visit Valentino at work, and on the rare occasions you did end up on the fourth floor, he quickly escorted you away

- it wasn’t until you were in your teens that you made a connection between your fathers job and his role in the porn and drug industry 

-You never questioned where babies came from, and all four of your guardians insisted on calling body parts by their proper names. All of these things were fact and nothing more.  

-The doctors office was never scary, and all appointments were handled either at home or in Valentino’s studio well after hours. 

-The first time you got your period, you freaked until your father calmed you down. 

-Annoyingly, you had to wear a location tracker at all times. Valentino refused to put one under your skin without your consent, even for your own safety, so when you started to leave the tower to go to school, Vox created a special tracking watch just for you 

-One time you got fed up with your teacher and called Uncle Vox on your watch to tell him to come get you. He does. 

-Being Vox’s niece, you learned to hack that watch when you turned thirteen. After all you never could go anywhere without someone being on your ass. All you wanted was privacy. 

-When you did eventually start dating, Valentino insisted on meeting each date when they came to pick you up, regardless of their gender. If he didn’t like them, you didn’t go out. You suspected he showed his gun on more than one occasion. 

-And there were more than a few times you didn’t get to go out.  

-You tried to get a fake ID at sixteen when you started to rebel. Unfortunately for you between your father and your uncle every single bar and club was controlled by them and the first time you tried to use it was your last time. And you got grounded. Big time. 

-Once you turned twenty one though, all bets were off. As much as you didn’t like that your family knew all, it was sort of comforting to know that wherever you were, you were protected. And by that point, you were doing pretty okay. 

-The first time you intentionally tried one of Valentino’s drugs was the last time.

-You still went to school every day, but Valentino had no issue with you taking a mental health day when needed

-You had your appendix out when you were younger

-Homework needed to be done before anything else, every single night. Your usual routine was to come in, go right to Uncle Vox’s office and do your homework with him. He keeps a stash of kid friendly snacks in his bottom drawer, and promises to keep the cheese itz coming if you don’t tell your dad.

-You hate that Vox makes you try each problem three times before asking for help, but you respect his method because you respect him

-The food kept in the house was generally high quality and healthy. Not to say there isn’t junk food, but the adults eat pretty healthily and by default as such so do you. 

-When you stop eating however, in a desperate effort to look like one of the model’s in your Aunt Velvette’s magazine, your father catches you very, very quickly. 

-You struggle with balancing the angelic and demonic parts of you. This shows up hard in the teenage years with instances of ED’s, Depression, Anxiety, self harm, poor decision making etc. 

-Valentino definitely brought you home from his clubs on more than one occasion. 

-You got alcohol poisoning/overdosed a few times. Thankfully, Valentino was always there to rescue you. The final time it happened, the expression on your father’s face ensured you never crossed that line again. 

-When you self harm for the first time, it’s Vox who catches you. 

-They will not allow you to hurt yourself, but they do their best to support and love you through every single mistake

-You demand perfection of yourself far, far more than they expect of you 

Headcanons for being Vox’s daughter 

-Vox tried to put a chip in your arm the day you were born, but Valentino took it out. 

-Intelligent? You could hack any device by the time you were ten. It was a struggled for Vox to keep ahead of your nonsense. 

-Stubborn as all heck. If you want something you’re gonna get it. Period.

-You had coffee in your hand by the time you were thirteen. As much as it freaked your father out, your Uncle Valentino helped you figure out the right cream/sugar/coffee ratio 

-Vox shooed all questions about womanhood to Velvette/Valentino/Wife and although he tries hard to understand and learn about the female body, you’re well aware he’s uncomfortable with it. Thankfully, your Uncle Valentino reassures you it's alright. 

-You are not at all into sports, though Valentino does force you to play on a team after catching you in one of his clubs. You were not terrible, and he does not have mercy on you. 

-Your Dad keeps a careful eye on your grades, and forces you to try each problem three times before asking for help

-The day your Uncle Valentino caught you working in his club was the most embarrassing moment of your life

-You definitely went through an emo phase

[mdhwrites]

i wanted to ask you about some legend of Korra stuff but I know you've said your not a worldbuilding guy so here's my toh ask instead: what is the appeal of camillip (Camilla and Philip)? I'm not asking as a belos hater (I mean I do hate him but more cause I find him un-intimidating- he's not exactly competent) but it's such a crackship. I'm not against it I support most ships so long as pedophilia/incest isn't involved but it's a very odd ship. Same goes for goldric but I actually didn't see as much of that ship like other people in the fandom at the time did. So why do you think people are so drawn to this ship? I know the villain x hero, enemies to lovers dynamic is popular and how there is that corruption vs innocence and bigot in love trope but most people remove Philip's villainy/bigotry? So why do you think people are so drawn to this ship?

So first: I can criticize worldbuilding, I will criticize TOH's after all, but it's just not my strongest suit, especially when it comes to my own fiction. The bigger issue with asking me about Korra stuff is just that I've only seen the first season when it was coming out, and like two episodes of the second, and went "Well, I like the slice of life stuff, didn't like the actual plot stuff and WOW this is bad now. Peace." It's also so long ago I can't actually give any real opinions of my own for something I found mostly forgettable.

Second: I would bet Philip and Camila as a ship actually has nothing to do with Philip being a villain. So a potentially awkward take I have about Belos is that part of why he may appeal to certain parts of the fandom is that, well... He's the only dude with confidence. He's the only one who might ever put his foot down. Everyone else is either too nice or submissive to have a proper backbone and there are going to be fans who strictly don't want that out of the male characters they play with. Belos gives that to someone for TOH and Camila can play against that in many ways. Either you lean into how subservient she is to her daughter's whims and have her second to him, or you have him and her push against each other as peers or you lean into the fact that both theoretically want to temper Luz into being a better human being but have very different ways to go about it, leading to its own push and pull. There's a lot of good, dynamic stuff there just by base personalities.

You also admittedly have another side of him: The Hunter side. Hunter is your edgelord, punk kid with a tragic backstory and as someone who has spent time with Belos enjoyers, one of the REALLY compelling parts about him to them is that he is arguably wronged in many of the same ways that Hunter is. Someone who was raised a certain way and was told by his family to believe in those ideals until suddenly he was betrayed out of nowhere and found himself alone. However, unlike Hunter, the cultural brainwashing actually, you know, was cultural brainwashing and he took the words to heart and committed terrible things because of it. Things he has now doubled down on for centuries as they are all he has to cling to.

That sort of backstory is RIPE for an "I can fix him" mentality and Camila is the perfect sort of character to do that. She is kind, has the patience of a saint, a firm moral code but also a perseverance which means she won't give up. Who better then to pull out the better man in him, the leader and visionary who made the Isles into frankly a damn near utopia besides his one law, than Camila? Mix that with the history he has with Luz, or general conflicts he could have with Luz, and this adds a lot of angst and stakes to anything to do with their relationship.

Camila is also admittedly the only non-squicky option for all of this with him really. I mean... As far as women who are legal go, you either need to age up characters, all of whom should hate his guts pretty vigorously, or you have Camila, Eda, Lilith, Evalyn, Terra, Dora the Explorer or whatever her name was, and Odalia. That's a lot of names... Not a lot of characters. Half of those people are people most of the fandom overlook or just don't really have a character. Odalia loses ALL of the points I talked about here because PURE EVIL according to the fandom and then Lilith and Eda both have big reasons to despise him with every fiber of their being AND they also don't really have the right attitudes to lead to a redeemed Belos, not as a main draw. Camila is the only one with the right storm of traits to tell more sympathetic sides of Belos with.

And that's okay. There's compelling stories to be had there and that's what fanfiction is all about. It is fun to dissect what romance tropes and the like are at play in a given ship though like this, so thank you for that and see you next tale.

======+++++======

Funny enough: I don't think I've personally seen almost ANYTHING of this ship so all my analysis is just off the theoreticals I can see by my knowledge and instincts. Admittedly, I don't see a lot of TOH content in general nowadays.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[l33bang24]

OMG It’s You… (Part 10)

YouTube!Fem reader x Stray Kids

Summary: Y/N’s YouTube channel is taking off after her reactions to Stray Kids MV God’s Menu. Now she’s making videos nonstop along with working a full time job. What would happen if she got offered a job of a lifetime and met the boys of her succession?

⚠️Warnings⚠️: sadness, crying, early stages of homesickness??, Chan being turned on🤭, (lmk if I missed anything)

🏷️ : @laylasbunbunny @weirdowithaphone @silverstarburst @jusanontstuff @anxiousskylar @drewsandsebastianswife @amararosesblog @niaalove (Taglist open)

Series Masterlist

(Authors note at the end)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N’s POV

Hearing my alarm clock, I roll over to shut it off. I had a surprisingly restful night's sleep, although I needed to take a second melatonin as the first one didn't help. Fortunately, the airport is conveniently located near my accommodation, and the journey there should only take about 5-10 minutes. After reviewing my flight details, I realized the total travel time would be almost 19 hours. Despite the long journey, I'm relieved there's only one layover before I board the second flight to Seoul.

As I start getting dressed and closing up all my bags, I take one last look around the room, which has brought me comfort and has been the starting point of my journey. Leaving behind a place with special memories is always a bittersweet moment. I know I could still come back and visit, but for now, this was goodbye. I smile, happy that I'm going outside my comfort zone to do something I'm passionate about. As I look around, I bring my bags to the front door.

I had to wake up earlier than planned because my flight was unexpectedly early. My family decided to get up with me to give me a proper send-off. The others were coming to the airport to say one last goodbye. I walked into the kitchen and found my grandmother preparing breakfast for everyone. Seeing my grandfather awake was a pleasant surprise, as his sleeping pattern is usually worse than mine.

“I made breakfast for all of us to eat for the last time together.” I smile at her and thank her for the food. “You know, maybe sometime after I get settled in, you can visit. See South Korea with me. I can also come home anytime I want.” I take her hand and his in mine, I reassure them, "I'm not disappearing forever. I promise to visit as much as I can." They hold on tighter, expressing their sadness at not always seeing me. "I'll have to show him how to FaceTime you," my grandmother says.

“Hey! I know how FaceTime works.”

“Oh really? Then where is it on your phone?”

“Same place it's always been in.” Their playful behavior never fails to bring a smile to my face. I think I'll miss this the most.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I prepared to leave, my family gathered to spend some final moments with me. One by one, they came up to say their heartfelt goodbyes.“Hey, Y/N/N, you better not be a stranger now. I don’t want to come there myself to teach you a lesson.” I roll my eyes at my stepbrother’s goodbye. “I love you too, man.” My stepsister is next to come up and hug me. “Send me pictures, yeah? And let me know if you meet any cute guys over there. I wanna know all about it!” I smile, her not knowing I’m already talking to two of them. “Hey now! If you meet any guys, I’mma need their information. That means their name, date of birth, social security number, everything!”

“I’m not giving you anything!” I retort back to my stepbrother. He, in return, shakes his head. My grandparents come up next, giving me their hugs and goodbyes. “Make sure you don’t eat a lot of junk food; you must maintain weight and stay healthy.”

“I will, Nanny; I love you.” She smiles, giving me a tight hug for a small woman. “You take good care of yourself. Since we won’t always have you to help us, Y/B/N must do it for us.” At that comment, my stepbrother exploded, saying how he gets left with my responsibilities of caring for my grandparents and how I need to come back more often to help them. I ignore him and move on to my grandfather.

“You stay safe now, okay? I want you to be able to defend yourself in case someone breaks into your apartment. Do you have your stuff?” I nod, telling him I do and giving him a big hug. I am telling him to take care of himself, and if he ever feels up to it, maybe I can get him and my grandmother a trip over to see me. My dad comes up and pulls me into a hug.

“I want you to call me when you get there, okay? So that way, I know you made it there safely.” My dad tells me. I smile, “I’ll call you when I get there, but you have to remember that I’ll be in a different time zone, so it may be late into the early morning hours before I call.”

“I don't care what time it is; as long as I get a phone call from my baby that she’s okay, I’ll be happy.” I hug him long and hard. Being one of my biggest supporters since I was little, it’s hard to say goodbye to him. I could feel my tears starting to surface. Last is my stepmom; she’s already got tears in her eyes, and mine is beginning to fall. She pulls me into a hug, and the water dam breaks.

As I realize that I won't get to see these amazing people every day, doubts start creeping in about whether this was the right decision in the first place.

When she pulls back, it’s like she’s reading my mind. “I understand that it can be daunting to think about not seeing us every day. However, if you don't step out of your comfort zone, you'll never be able to explore the world as you've always wanted. You will surely be missed, and although your dad and I are homebodies, we'll come to visit you. We love you immensely and want nothing but the best for you. It's time to chase your dreams and become the person you've always wanted to be.” I nod my head and give her a tight hug.

I release her and gather my belongings, taking my first steps toward my new future. As I walk away, I look back at my family again. A stray tear rolled down my cheek as I bid them farewell with a wave. I turn back, holding my head high. I've committed myself to the fact that no matter what challenges come my way, I will never give up on pursuing my dream. Although my heart aches now, I know it will slowly heal with time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Welcome to Seoul, South Korea! It is currently 2:30 pm on August 16th.” My sleepiness drowned out the rest of the words. I usually don't sleep on planes, but I did this time. I grab my bag from above, leave the aircraft, and move towards the baggage area. Once receiving my luggage, I headed toward the exit, stopping to find something to eat since all I'd had were airplane snacks.

I discovered a cozy restaurant with a promising menu and went to a table, taking a seat to enjoy my meal. I eagerly indulged, savoring each bite as if it were my last. It was a relief to have some time before officially starting my new job the following week, allowing me to settle in and get organized. While I've already started my new job, I don't have to be on-site until next week.

I had compiled a list of essential tasks, including unpacking, stocking up on groceries, and setting up my new apartment. At that moment, my next priority was to arrange for an Uber to take me to the apartment complex where I would be staying.

After finishing my meal, I disposed of the food container and took out my phone to track the arrival of the Uber. I made a mental note to call my Dad once I reached the apartment. When the Uber arrived, I confirmed the driver's name, and they assisted me in loading my luggage into the vehicle.

I provided them with the address, and upon reaching my destination, I expressed my gratitude and proceeded inside to complete the check-in process. The attendant was incredibly friendly, and the paperwork was swiftly handled, allowing me to receive my keys promptly. I lugged my belongings into the elevator and ascended to the fourth floor.

As I reached my apartment door, I eagerly swung it open and lugged all my belongings inside. After securing the lock, a deep sigh escaped my lips. The long flight had left me utterly drained. I quickly dialed my dad's number and left a voicemail, letting him know I had arrived safely. Collapsing onto the nearby couch, I felt the exhaustion wash over me.

Although the temptation to drift off to sleep was strong, I knew I had things to take care of. I reluctantly pushed myself off the comfortable couch, picked up my luggage, and carried it to my room. I was fortunate to have found a spacious two-bedroom, two-bathroom apartment with a convenient washer and dryer combo.

I surveyed the array of living essentials I had recently acquired, realizing that I also needed to stock up on groceries. Choosing to address this need immediately, I retrieved my purse and keys and left my apartment, locking the door behind me. Having previously researched nearby markets, I headed to the closest one and embarked on a shopping trip that lasted 30 minutes to an hour.

Upon returning home with bags of groceries, I meticulously organized and stored each item in the kitchen. Subsequently, I assembled the furniture and set up my home office, methodically putting together the bed, nightstand, and desk. As I progressed through these tasks, everything seemed to fall into place seamlessly. However, as the day turned to evening and fatigue began, I succumbed to exhaustion.

After ensuring the door was securely locked, I went to the shower. I was thankful I had taken a shower earlier, as I was too tired to rewash my hair that night. Following my usual evening routine, I finally collapsed into bed. Before drifting off to sleep, I sent a good night message to my family, locked my phone, and surrendered to the beckoning of slumber.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The week flew by, and I was pleased to find that the rest of my belongings had arrived in the same condition as when they were picked up. I made a mental note to thank the CEO of the moving company for their excellent service. My coworkers kindly came over to assist me in moving all the furniture upstairs and arranging it in the best possible positions.

I appreciated the support of others as I tackled the challenge before me. It was satisfying to see everything arranged just as I had envisioned. Adapting to the time change this week has been quite a feat. It's a new experience for me, and although it's been difficult, I'm confident I'll adapt in due time. I've taken the opportunity to explore, but I've been cautious as I don't know anyone here. Watching crime shows has made me more vigilant about my surroundings, and I'm hesitant to engage with unfamiliar individuals.

I could sense that the guys were starting to get suspicious of me because I'd changed my usual texting routine and avoided their calls. I know I'm not improving things, but I have a video next week to explain what's happening. I'm just holding out until the video is ready to be released. Until then, they will have to wait a bit longer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Third Person POV

The men had every reason to feel wary. It seemed as though she was privy to information that they were not. The other members could sense the shift in their elders, but none were willing to confront the issue. They chose to ignore the obvious problem rather than address it. Chan decided to step aside and call Y/N. He hadn't informed any of the others, especially Minho. He felt guilty for concealing such an innocent action but wanted to keep this secret longer.

Y/N had been behaving unusually lately. She confided in him that she was going through some changes that were causing her stress and exhaustion. He was concerned but didn't want to pressure her. When she answered his call after the second ring, she sounded cheerful as always. "Hi, Channie!" she greeted him with a tone that flushed his face at the affectionate nickname. "Hey, Y/Nnnie, how have you been? I haven't heard from you much," he inquired. Her laughter on the other end was sweet and infectious. "I'm doing fine. I was actually on my way to work," she replied. Confusion crossed his face. 'Work? Shouldn’t she be in bed by now?’ he inquires.

Not realizing she was calling for him. "What do you mean work? I thought you would be in bed by now?" Y/N freezes as she realizes her mistake. She berates herself, thinking, 'Stupid, stupid, stupid,' while hitting her forehead with the palm of her hand. “Ah, well, I'm not uhh… I mean, I am I….URGHHH!” The moment her brain decides to take a break is precisely when she needs it the most. Chan is completely bewildered now, eagerly waiting for her response.

After a moment of collecting her thoughts, she finally admits something. “Look, there may have been some major changes in my life right now, and I wanted to surprise you when the time was right. I have a video coming out today that will explain everything. That's all I can tell you.” Chan nods his head, then forgets he isn't FaceTiming her. “Okay, love. I'll be patient and wait for your video. Afterward, I expect no more hiding things, okay?”

“Yes, sir, you have my word.” Chan shouldn't have been affected by those words, but coming from her, it felt like a shock just went through his body. “Anyways, I have to go, Channie; we’ll talk later, yeah?” After they said their goodbyes, Chan returned to the room with a huge smile and a semi-hard in his pants.

(A/N: I couldn't help myself; I had to do it. Also, I put in a sad, departing moment with the family. I hope you all enjoyed it and look forward to the next chapter!)

[a-court-of-valkyries]

Engulfed In Your Flames

Chapter 17: Nesta and Eris

Neris Week Day 7 (Yes, I know this is late, sorry!)

The weeks leading up to the wedding, Nesta spent much of her time being tailored for multiple gowns made from scratch. The seamstress, Marianna, had woven together dresses that Nesta would have never been able to imagine. One had been a perfect blend of auburn and violet coloring, the sleeves flowing down her arms and her train melting behind her as if she were a creature born for the wind and sky. Nesta marveled at Marianna's creation, but the seamstress had chucked it off to the side before beginning anew. Another one had been a little less elegant but still breathtaking. It was low cut, and the skirt of the gown almost looked as if it was embroidered with crystals throughout. Marianna grumbled before tossing that one away as well. 

When Nesta wasn’t being tailored to, she spent time shadowing Aryanna in making the proper preparations for the wedding. Coincidentally, her and Eris’ wedding festivities would be coinciding with the Autumn Equinox, which celebrates the world beginning their first day of Autumn, so the two celebrations would be held together. 

Something sparked in The Lady of Autumn as she worked and planned over the weeks. Nesta noticed that as long as Beron was not around, Aryanna had lit up with a liveliness and authoritativeness that Nesta had not been privy to before. It was barely there, a dim glimmer, a faint shadow of a spark, but it was more than Nesta had ever witnessed from the otherwise quiet female. She studied how Aryanna instructed the servants, who worked tirelessly, to organize decorations throughout the Forest House, showing them dozens of sketched ideas she made. Nesta aided the matriarch in deciding which meals and desserts should be cooked and baked. When asked, Nesta gave input into what attire would be appropriate for the ruling Autumn Court family to appear in—they would all be dressing in similar formal wear, but only Nesta and Eris would be truly matching. She even helped with writing the invitations for the six other courts in Prythian. 

“Here, my dear, I’ll write this one,” Aryanna said gently as she took the invite meant for the Night Court, a sympathetic look in her eyes. 

“Why do we have to invite the other courts?” Nesta asked Eris later that day when they had taken a stroll through the grounds. It had been drizzling, but Nesta did not mind it one bit. She welcomed the cool droplets as they slightly grounded her from her sizzling anxiety. “When they celebrate the Winter Solstice in the Night Court, no one else outside of Velaris is invited.”

“It’s all part of court politics and new traditions being born,” Eris explained. “For centuries, courts did not extend celebrations to each other. However, after Amarantha and the war, we’ve practically abandoned the old tradition as a way to show each other that the Fae are united when it counts.” Eris threw a ball out into the distance, and his hounds raced to see who would reach it first. “The Night court celebrates alone because for them, the tradition is more in name than practice.”

Nesta furrowed her brows. “How do you mean?”

Eris thought for a minute, trying to choose his words carefully. “Most of the High Lords are not fond of Rhysand. For the sake of Prythian, the rest of the courts worked with him against Hybern, but now that everything is in the past and things are back to normal, we have been careful to distance ourselves from the Night Court. Rhysand has a . . . peculiar reputation unlike what we have seen from any other High Lord. The courts are still furious with him for how he had reigned since becoming High Lord, not to mention his actions Under the Mountain. Then he made your sister High Lady, a female with no prior political experience and who could not even read up until a few years ago.” Nesta listened as Eris spoke. She had never heard these tales before, and Feyre never went into too much detail about what happened when she went to rescue her old love from the clutches of Amarantha. “None of the other courts take her seriously, and to prove our point, her first act as High Lady was to decimate another court during war time.” Eris paused before continuing. “To put it simply, Rhysand needs my alliance just as much as I need his, and that is one of the reasons why I have to formally invite the Night Court. It would bode terribly for them in appearances if I married the High Lady’s sister without them present. They have no choice but to come if they want to hold any sort of propriety, or they risk being made to look worse than they already do.”

In the weeks drawing closer to the wedding, Aryanna had begun to help teach Nesta some of the Autumn Court traditions, history, etiquette, and even some of the dances and music. She had taught Nesta as many dances as she could on her own within one of the ballrooms in the Forest House, but she soon had to enlist one of her sons, Bastian, to help lead since Eris had been away from the Forest House on business that week. 

Nesta had briefly met the rest of Eris and Lucien’s brothers not long after Beron and Aryanna. The introduction had made her skin crawl. The brothers made no effort to hide their obvious and shameless ogling. At Eris’ hard glare, they had quickly averted their eyes and made themselves scarce. It wasn't difficult to see which brother was in charge.

But now, with Eris gone, Bastian made his interest obvious. He stepped closer to Nesta than necessary, held her hand tighter than what should've been allowed. When he laid his hand on her back to begin the dance, he let it drift lower and lower. Nesta glared and shifted his arm harshly, to which Bastian only smirked. 

“Forgive my second eldest son, Nesta. In his growing age he seems to have forgotten the manners I taught him as a child,” Aryanna said as she scowled at her son.

They spent all morning teaching Nesta the different dances that were tradition for Autumn Court weddings and balls. Nesta learned quickly, basking in the rhythm and music supplied by some of the more musically-inclined servants. 

Bastian was not lenient in his attempts however. He subtly tried to let his hand wander again when Aryanna had looked away.

‘Mind your hand, or I'll rip it from your corpse.”

He chuckled but obeyed. “My apologies, King Killer.” Nesta wanted to claw that wretched grin off his face.

Despite Bastian’s attempts to intimidate her, Nesta had been enjoying herself for the first time in a long time. She let the notes flow over her, and eagerly fixed her mistakes when Aryanna corrected her. Nesta hardly noticed the hours flying by. Aryanna was set to end their lesson for today, much to Bastian's delight as he had grown more irritable and fidgety within the last hour. Yet Beron’s clapping hands washed the room in ice.

“Absolutely magnificent,” he noted from the doorway of the ballroom. He did not leer at Nesta as his sons did. His gaze was more one of fondness. Goosebumps formed on Nesta’s arms as he drew closer into the room. Bastian immediately departed, not even needing his father to voice the command. The Lady of Autumn shrunk at her husband’s growing presence in such a rehearsed manner that Nesta forgot her presence almost entirely. Aryanna had become used to living in the shadows, had inhabited them until she had become invisible so Beron could have all the attention. Gone was the vibrant lady as she made herself dull.

“I see my lady wife has been preoccupied with your lessons. How does the female fare, my lady?”

“She is an excellent learner, my lord. She already knows most of the dances,” the Lady of Autumn said with her head down.

Beron hummed in acknowledgement. “Would you care to spare one more dance for your future father-in-law?”

“Of course, my lord.” Nesta said getting into the proper formation. Beron took her hand and began without any go ahead. Nesta kept up easily where he led her. When he sped up, she followed. When he slowed, she matched him with grace. This dance felt different from any other she had done. Beron Vanserra was not a male merely intrigued by the catch of a diamond, but a predator sizing up his prey. As they finished he looked Nesta up and down before taking a step back. Nesta curtsied.

“I will be taking over her lessons from now on,” Beron stated, his eyes on Nesta the whole time.

“Yes, my lord.”

Nesta looked between Aryanna and Beron. “I wouldn't mind continuing my lessons with my future mother-in-law.”

“You will be continuing your lessons with me.” 

Beron stared hard at Nesta. Nesta stared hard back, then nodded.

***

Nesta engulfed Eris’ thoughts as he waited with the priestess at the end of the aisle. He didn't focus on his brothers, though he absentmindedly wished it had been Lucien here instead. He did not spare a glance at his father's proud face. He hardly even noticed the court of who would—if all went to plan—become his future citizens or servants of Autumn, nor did he give any attention to the high lords and representatives of the following courts that had gathered for the celebration of his wedding day. No, Eris only had one focus, and that focus lay with the female standing at the beginning of the aisle. 

Nesta stood straight and tall, like a soldier armed for battle. Her head tilted upwards in her signature stance. Her body betrayed no shiver of fear. She looked solid as stone. Had he not caught the subtle and almost imperceptible shift of her eyes, he'd never notice that the female before him was nervous.

Nesta was dressed in a ball gown covered in gold mesh. Shades of red and orange blended together, bathing Nesta in an illusion of flames, the illusion heightening as she moved down the aisle. Gold colored leaves were embroidered into the belt and neck line of her dress. Her hair was in her usual coronet braid, with a few tendrils flowing by her cheeks. Thousands of faelights hung and glittered from the branches that protruded down from the ceiling, and the light reflected like crystals off of Nesta’s skin. In her dress, in this light, she was Autumn incarnate. 

Eris’ breath hitched when he saw her. A foreign feeling stirred within him, buried deep within his chest. It was one of warmth, a comfort he had never known. An ember glowing, growing. Eris quickly dismissed the feeling. He noticed a faint blush on Nesta's cheeks as she neared him. A lock of hair flowed over her face. Eris found himself wanting to tuck it behind her ear.

The priestess commenced the ceremony. She read from the holy book of Prythian, reciting verses of love and unity from the Mother. She boasted in the story of Prythian’s origins. She sang hymns worshiping the Mother’s glory. 

Before the priestess could begin to conclude their ceremony, she brought forth a small red box wrapped in a gold bow. Opening it revealed two silver rings hidden inside, one slightly bigger than the other. Eris had spent a hefty price with the best craftsman within Autumn’s lands to get the rings just right. 

Looks were exchanged within the audience, but no one dared to speak as they watched the exchange. Eris’ heart beat wildly as he took out the smaller ring. When he finally glanced at Nesta, her eyes had widened, and her lips parted as she exhaled at the display of a human tradition. 

Eris took her left palm, placing the ring on her ring finger. “With this ring,” he stated, the human vows he memorized echoing throughout the room, “I vow to be yours as you are mine. In sickness and in health, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, until death parts us.”

When Eris had finished, Nesta reached for the other ring, placing it on his finger. Her hand trembled slightly. “With this ring, I vow to be yours as you are mine. In sickness and in health, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, until death parts us.”

The priestess then grabbed the ruby colored ribbons and bound their hands together. Eris stated his vows first, then Nesta. “In the eyes of the Mother, in the name of the Cauldron, I vow to unite my life to yours. With this ribbon, I swear from now until our end to be yours as you are mine.” Eris swallowed and looked down at Nesta. Her eyes were a perfect blend of blue and gray that he found kept him steady. Nesta slightly lifted her chin as Eris leaned towards her. Their kiss was soft, only lasting a few seconds before he pulled away. 

The priestess said a prayer of thanks to the Mother. “I now formally present to you, the heir of Autumn and his lady-wife, Eris and Nesta Vanserra.” At that, the guests erupted in respectable applause. 

Afterwards, Eris and Nesta did their rounds around the room, greeting the representatives and leaders from the other courts. Eris did most of the talking as he formally introduced Nesta to everyone. 

“It is a pleasure to see you again,” Tarquin said as he addressed Nesta, “especially when it is under much less pressing circumstances.” The male, despite his young age, had impressed Eris and the rest of Prythian with how quickly and efficiently he had stepped into his role as High Lord of the Summer Court, especially under such strenuous circumstances. 

By his side was Cresseida, the Princess of Adriata. Her sapphire dress greatly complimented her dark skin and white hair. She offered both Eris and Nesta a polite smile. “Good evening, and congratulations on such a beautiful ceremony.”

“Hello, Tarquin and Cresseida. Thank you for taking the time to celebrate with us today,” Nesta said. “It means a great deal to us.” 

“Well, this was certainly not an event to be missed,” Tarquin said. “It is not every day that Prythian witnesses a Cauldron forged Fae and the Prince of Autumn joined together. Eris, you have become a very lucky male.”

Cresseida hummed in agreement and took one of Nesta’s hands in her own. “After so many decades, it is always refreshing to see new faces within the courts. I would love to have you visit the Summer Court one day, Nesta.”

“I would be honored,” Nesta said, her eyes lighting up in excitement and surprise. “I have always wanted to travel.” 

Cresseida squeezed her hand. “Write whenever you are free to. You are always welcome.”

Soft murmurs filled the room once Eris and Nesta finished making their rounds in greeting the other courts. A faint whiff caught Eris’ attention. As he turned to look at the entrance, he saw the High Lord of the Night Court entering the chambers with his High Lady on his arm, her swollen belly catching the eye of everyone in the room. There was no hint of surprise on Nesta's face, but Eris could feel her tense up as she stood next to him. So she hadn't known, Eris thought. He gave her arm a subtle squeeze to let her know she had him for whatever support she'd need. 

Following them was his other sister-in-law, the two Illyrian brutes, and Amren—Eris was never sure what position the new Fae held in Rhysand's court was besides spitting jabs and attempting to appear intimidating. Before the war, he'd been wise to fear her, but in her new body, she was just as average as any other High Fae, and her intimidation tactics were futile.

Rhysand and Feyre made their way to his father and mother, greeting them as customary before making their way to him and Nesta. Rhysand looked cocksure while Feyre looked nervous and jittery. Azriel's shadows slithered around his arms, torso, and legs. Predictably, rage simmered off of Cassian's body. Eris hoped for Nesta's sake that Rhysand would keep his dog on a tight leash. Amren stood next to the brute. It was almost comical to see them next to each other given her short stature. 

“Good evening,” Rhysand said. “I suppose a ‘Congratulations’ is in order.” 

“Thank you, Rhysand. It's very appreciated,” Eris said, lying through his teeth, “but I suppose the same must be said for you and Feyre.” He alluded to Feyre’s bump.

“Congratulations,” Nesta said to them both, her voice genuine.

Feyre subconsciously laid her hand on her stomach. She gave Nesta a small smile. “Thank you.”

“Oh, Nesta, we've missed you so much!” Elain exclaimed. She rushed forward to wrap her arms around Nesta, but Nesta took a pronounced step back. Elain hesitated and then went to stand next to Feyre.

"Sleeping with the Autumn Court heir," Amren immediately remarked, a smirk forming on her blood red lips. "Impressive upgrade, Nesta." Feyre gave her a look but said nothing.

Nesta stared the female down, but it was Eris that spoke. “You are on Autumn Court soil. If you cannot be respectful to my wife, then get out.”

At the mention of their marriage, Cassian released a low growl. Multiple quips came to Eris’ mind, but he decided against them. He would behave himself tonight for Nesta's sake.

“Nesta, can we talk, please?” Feyre asked. She glanced at Eris on her arm and then back to her sister. “Alone?”

“I've said all I needed to say,” Nesta responded. Her tone was void of emotion, like she was speaking to a stranger and not her sister. Eris knew the feeling better than anyone.

“Well, if you will excuse us,” Eris said, leading Nesta to the middle of the room, “I would like to spend the rest of the evening dancing with my wife.”

He led her into the heart of the dance floor before the Night Court could respond, the eyes of the whole room on them. Other couples joined them as well, and soon they were surrounded on all sides, making it harder for Rhysand’s circle to watch over them. “Thank you,” Nesta murmured as she and Eris began to dance. Her eyes were swimming with gratitude as she looked up at him.

Eris nodded in understanding. “Don’t pay any attention to them. Just focus on me.”

Eris’ heart picked up as Nesta moved closer to him. Nesta never faltered as they danced through multiple songs. She was known to be reclusive and closed off, yet here she was in her element. She held nothing back as the notes and the rhythm radiated off of her. To say that Eris was impressed would be an understatement. Eris had mastered these dances as was tradition for the eldest son of the high lord. He’d had centuries of practice, and a majority of his dance partners had been horrid or manageable. He was used to being the best in the room, but with Nesta, Eris found himself racing to keep up with her. He had learned out of necessity and requirement, but Nesta flourished as if she was forged from its very essence. She never failed to impress him, just as she did not fail in impressing him the night before. 

***

The Forest House roared with celebration tonight. They had been celebrating the Autumn Equinox together as a court, since the other courts would be present for the wedding tomorrow. All around him, advisors, nobility, aristocrats, lords and their ladies, along with other friends of the crown gluttoned themselves in wine, food, and dancing. He had slipped away after an appropriate amount of time. Between his father, his brothers, and the many females that kept stepping on his toes during tonight's festivities, Eris took the first opportunity he could to excuse himself from the ballroom and celebrations. 

Eris walked down the halls in irritation. He had still been simmering with rage towards his father on the events that had transpired at Autumn’s border this week. Innocents had been butchered by his father’s command, dissent grew amongst the citizens, and more problems arose than solutions. When Eris had confronted his father about it, Beron had coldly stated, “I do not concern myself with the opinions of commoners. Neither should you.” Eris said no more, but held on to the oath he swore to himself to be a better High Lord when his time came. Soon, he thought. Yet here he had been, forced to celebrate all night when all he’d wanted was to spend his remaining few hours left of the day working in his office. 

He’d almost made it back to his rooms when he noticed a faint glimmer of faelight inside his office. Eris tensed instantly, and his fingers moved to the dagger at his side. His father and brothers would not be stupid enough to boldly snoop through his things themselves, with the exception of Fenryn, the youngest Vanserra. Eris wouldn't put it past one of the snakes that worked for his family to be foolish enough to get caught. Eris could only spot one enemy's shadow from under the door. As he began to open the it, Eris wondered how long he would torture the poor fool to see whom of his brothers or father had set them up to the task, and if a public execution should serve as a clear enough message. Some part of him would enjoy it, if only to find some sort of outlet for his frustrations from this past week.

A sigh of relief escaped him when he saw only Nesta. “Why does it not surprise me that you are here instead of celebrating with the rest of us?” Eris asked as he dropped himself in his chair. Nesta looked up from where she was seated on the bench of the bay window, completely content with a book and a hot cup of tea on the windowsill near her.

“I much prefer the company of a good book,” she simply responded. “Besides, this is not my court, nor is it my holiday.”

“You have as much right as anyone else. Come tomorrow you will be my wife. You live here.” For now. The words were left unsaid, but they hovered in the air between them still. The thought left a bitter taste on Eris’s tongue. He still wasn't sure how long Nesta would stay after Beron was no longer a problem and the Night Court no longer held any influence over her.

“Why is the son of Autumn not engaging in celebration with his people?”

Eris sighed. “There’s only so many times I can tolerate my feet being stepped on. They will be screaming in the morning.”

Nesta snorted. “Not everyone can be as gifted as you,” she said sarcastically. 

Eris cocked his head slightly as he took in Nesta. As always, she wore a simple dress with the same pair of brown flats. Under the light of the full moon shining through the massive window, Eris couldn’t help but think that she was the most beautiful female he’d ever seen. “Do you dance?”

“If I’m asked properly,” Nesta said as she flipped a page, not sparing him a glance. Eris took a closer look at the cover. Nesta had been engaging herself in a tome on the war between the fae and humans five hundred years before.

After a moment, he got up and walked towards her. Even from his office, he could hear the music, the roaring and shouting, and the laughter blaring from the ballroom. As one song ended and another was about to begin, he held his hand out for her. She looked at his hand and then up at him with her blue-gray eyes, eyes like a storm, eyes that he wouldn’t mind drowning in. “Nesta Archeron, will you dance with me?” 

***

He slowed his steps just slightly and backed up as Nesta twirled and twirled and twirled. Her skirts rippled like ocean waves. She caught the eye of every person in this room. Eris stood back and watched in satisfaction and awe. She was Cauldron-Made. Lady Death. His Lady Death. A fiery diamond and a hurricane forged in the midst of a star. There was no limit to her magnificence. Nesta didn't need him. She shined brightly all on her own, and he wanted everyone to know it.

Nesta rejoined herself to Eris after finishing the last twirl. She reached out her hand, and he grasped it eagerly. Eris laid his hand on her waist, bringing her closer. His finger trailed a slow line up the skin on her back, and Nesta slightly arched into his touch. She held in the small gasp from the shivers Eris’ finger left in its wake. Her body responded to his every touch, craving for it. Eris could focus on nothing else but Nesta. How perfectly she fit in his arms, how soft her skin was, how, for the moment, it was just the two of them in this room, everyone else quickly forgotten. “You were wasted at the Night Court,” Eris whispered near her ear. Nesta shivered, and at her reaction, Eris grinned. “Absolutely wasted.”

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