#which makes me want to puke | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

irondad-defensesquad · 1 year ago

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it's kinda wild how on the internet you see so many websites asking "was howard actually abusive to tony?" and i'm like. YES????????? OBVIOUSLY?????????????????? like even in the mcu, howard is still shitty, he loved captain america more than his own son, he never told tony he loved him, he sent him to boarding school... and tony simply doesn't have good memories of his father. how are these not red flags to you???

#lotus speaks #anti howard stark #tony stark defense squad #abuse tw #caps #arguably the mcu sucks at holding howard accountable #even in iron man 2 they kinda make him sympathetic #which makes me want to puke #and then endgame worsened it all

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goldkirk · 10 months ago

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question: have any of you personally seen a dietician (not looking for experiences with nutritionists, only dieticians), and did you find it helpful or useful, and if you did see a dietician and you ALSO have seen a GI doctor, how did the experience compare for you in terms of helpfulness + how much you felt listened to and helped?

#i'm trying to figure out which doctor appointments I want to bother making and spending money about for potentially no return on investment #and right now i'm trying to figure out if I'd get way more practical help from a dietician or if I need to suck it up and find a #not-elderly not-male not-dismissive GI doctor first and THEN see a dietician #although I cannot afford a bunch of tests #so like???#trying to figure out if a dietician would be more helpful overall with me not HAVING any GI diagnoses or eating disorders #and just really struggling with food in both sensory ways and unpredictable digestion ways that don't correlate with food allergies #god i sometimes wish i had food allergies so i could have some predictability #but yeah. i'm leaning towards dietician but figured i should crowdsource experiences #since I know a lot of you have health issues you've also been trying to manage for years and probably have good advice #if it helps i'm also in a major city now and have a decent-but-not-great health insurance plan so I'm good on those two fronts #to do #health #I know a dietician can't diagnose anything but I'd love help figuring out how to get maximum nutrition even when i can barely eat anything #or when my body decides to start getting sick from or (tw emetophobia) puking up fiber or fatty foods #which thankfully isn't often #now that I do cannabis daily in microdosing I have so much less pain and bloating and nausea #but when it hits it HITS #and the last time I tried going without cannabis for a couple days and then eating a fiber muffin I was sick six times in one morning #and didn't get my normal eating ability back until dinnertime #luckily that's not normal for me #but my issues bounce up and down so much #and I lose weight so fast whenever my appetite goes from 'barely ever there' to 'negatively nonexistent'#and I had like. two months last year where I think i reached my body's natural healthy set weight #and i needed so much food but it felt so good energy wise and temperature wise #and i'd like to STAY THERE FFS #and I feel like a dietician would be helpful for making meal options for good #*good and hard and nuclear alert level eating difficulty times #anyway. crowdsourcing. yay!

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guinevereslancelot · 4 months ago

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i should be able to call in sleepy to work

#so so unbelievably sleepy for the past week straight what is going on w me lol #all day long im so sleepyyyy #i keep going to bed early but its not helping #i haye calling out of work tho #i only did it once when i was literally puking and miserable and could not physically come in but i tried i got up and started getting ready #but it just wasnt happening #and then i requested time off for my eye surgeries and did my second one yon friday #it got approved at the last second and i felt so insanely stressed and guilty for taking time off for a necessary surgery lmao #idk how im going to use my vacation time bc its the use or lose kind but they really dont want u to use it tbh #also its combined w the sick time so when i tried to request the day off it showed it in the negative like you cant do this lol #but i requested it anyway #but i think that means i wont have any vacation timer left after all my surgeries #??#or something #its confusing which i think is the point to make people take less time off lol #this has been a shitpost

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didnt-hear-cold-as-you-live · 10 months ago

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the NYT thing makes me fucking sick. even IF it were true or had any basis in fact (it does not), imagine being closeted and then THE NEW YORK FUCKING TIMES writes an entire op-ed outing you. what, the actual, fuck.

#it actually makes me want to puke #and the normalization of just OUTING people like that #is fucking DANGEROUS #it is dangerous for teens to be exposed to people being outed being like solving a quirky little puzzle #in such a mainstream manner like this #like #normalizing it with celebs will normalize kids doing it to one another which has a direct impact on LGBT teen suicide rates like #are you JOKING

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muffingnf · 5 months ago

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going to a concert at wembley is all well and good until you have to leave and youre stuck on wembley way with thousands of people like a massive can of sardines and youre not moving for hours

#the thoufhtis making me wanna puke #puts the fear of god in me #at least liverpool you park close and can walk any which way u want #like most places #but getting to fawking wembley tube station after a dhow is an endurance test #and getting on the tube OHHHH HORRIBLE!!!!#leavinf the o2 last night was bad enough and that was a fraction of the people

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yellobb · 3 months ago

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I am at my fucking limit

#m rambles #tw suicidality #so ya know. if you read further just know what you’re getting into #I think I got discharged again #I’ve been in bed for a week straight and I haven’t taken my meds this whole time #but honestly I don’t care anymore #I just want to sort things out and go #but there’s too many fucking things to sort out and even thinking about them makes me want to puke #(which ya know. wouldn’t happen if I took my meds but fuck it.)#I’m a shell of the person I used to be and I don’t even care anymore #I keep fucking up the easiest things #I don’t have the energy to leave my house #but god do I want to so I can just get the stuff I need to get it over with quick and painless

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mutalune · 4 months ago

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really wish there was a tag that separated “I’m having Big Angry and/or Angsty Opinions about Star Wars” from “I’m goofing off with Star Wars I’m playing in the sandbox none of this is real so yes I will make my blorbo and this random glub shitto go on an adventure that makes no logical sense” posts because there’s too much of the former and not enough of the latter for my current mental state

#starlight personal #the good news is that I finally have another ketamine appt scheduled and it’s sooner than I thought they’d have an opening #the bad news is that the appointment is not tomorrow and we’re kinda at the end of my mental-emotional rope #now kids this is what we call: an inherent flaw in my treatment plan that cannot be removed #because pretty much in an ideal world I’d have ketamine appointments every 6 weeks but 1) expensive and probs can’t afford that #2) they don’t have enough availability for that to be realistic 3) can’t take off of work THAT frequently without consequences #4) I would probably start to doubt reality if I was tripping that frequently 5) I don’t think docs would allow it #treatment resistant depression and anxiety my beloathed if we could just chill that’d be great #treatment resistant PMDD my other beloathed someday I will do my damnedest to cut you out of my body #idk not to be too selfpitying on main but god it fucking sucks that I appear to be doomed to another cycle based mood thing #PMDD means I get two good weeks two bad weeks #ketamine being the only effective treatment for whatever my brain’s got going on means two good months followed by x bad months #until my next appointment #which like! two good months is better than no good months I am grateful that something helps #I just wish it was a more convenient help and it could be applied more consistently than my psych office provides #also wish I didn’t have to call them 3 times to get it scheduled but it is what it is #also also wish that I had fewer of the physical side effects of my anxiety and wouldn’t wake up puking the min things are rough #this is all to say: I want silly SW headcanons and droid headcanons and silly fic ideas and not Everyone is Always Suffering #but I’m also too lazy (I.e brain cannot make decisions rn) to search for new tags that may give me more silly #which means time to browse my bookmarks for good good comfort fics I have saved I suppose #(this is lowkey why i want to physically fight everyone i know who’s like ‘yeah meds would help but idk :/‘ like!!!!!!!!#bro it’s a privilege to have access to meds and it��s a privilege to have a body that doesn’t turn on you the min you take one!!!!#just try 10mg of zoloft I would kill for 10mg of zoloft to not make me entirely incapable of functioning!!!)#I don’t mean that - you have a right to take or not take medication and everyone’s reasons may be their own #I just had my body and have some rough feelings around treating my issues being so expensive and inconvenient #and then feeling guilty b/c I know I’m lucky that I can afford it and can take off of work for it when I need to #like I am pretty lucky to have something that works and to have a care team that helped me get here #so I don’t wanna be ungrateful or unappreciative of my own luck in this and the work that went into getting here #I’d just also like it if I could change the circumstances slightly #make treatment on the weekends an option - get my psych office to have more than 2 trip sitters so scheduling isn’t so bad

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tamagotchikgs · 4 months ago

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my mom kept pushing for me to do her homeopathic garlic remedy on my wisdom tooth bc she said it would pull the infection out (which she doesnt even know IF i have) and i eventually did it a few days ago but it burnt the shit out of my gums n left them so raw and i told her that n she straight up just. said no. it wouldnt do that it cant. and then said that she never claimed it Wouldnt like MA'AM.,,,,,,,, and then,,, told me i should do more,,, ,i,, and then today she again kept trying to get me to do it again despite the fact trying so hard to heal the gums so i dont get an actual infection and since i said no she's started hiding garlic in my food

#and like. I LOVE GARLIC ! u dont gotta do that o(-< it just makes me feel bad n like i cant trust my food which is something i already #struggle with so much #autistically i am so . like food is something that i need to be Clean i need it to be assured it's Safe #no wonder she didnt let me make my own food today #im already feeling physically ill after realizing it's tampered w i want to rip my organs out #she used to do that all the time w my migraine triggers #because she didnt believe me that they would make me sick #and every time id end up in such intense pain n puking and she still kept doing it

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kurokoros · 5 months ago

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I'm so overwhelmed with the move and having to be around my family and the fact that I haven't gotten decent sleep in the last two months because my new cat cries all fucking night no matter what I do, but the tipping point really has been being told two days ago "by the way, your sister and her boyfriend are buying the house and moving in by July 1st, your cats aren't allowed upstairs, and you need to be moved out by the end of July" like... I would have just fucking stayed in Chicago until the end of June if you had told me that. I wouldn't have come back at all and spent the last week of my life verging on a panic attack because of it.

#for the record i'm not angry about my sister buying the house and me needing to move out #i'm just fucking pissed that I wasn't given a heads up about any of this #also I feel awful about it #but i can't keep this cat #he clearly needs a high energy buddy and my senior cat just does not want anything to do with him #and I think all three of us are just miserable together #senior kitty wants to be attached to me at the hip and growls at other kitty whenever he tries to play #and senior kitty keeps trying to eat new kitties food. which makes him puke #new kitty screams all night and I'm such a light sleeper that it keeps me up even if I lock him out of my room and use earplugs #june is off to a great start guys #i kind of just want to lie down and cry tbh #anyway onto job hunting and hopefully writing something today #alisha babbles

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girlscience · 10 months ago

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well. I added my recent work stuff to my resume today, but then got stressed and didn't even manage to edit it. the day isn't over so maybe I'll get more done, but aaaghaghghaghag

#I thought I just needed to add my new experince and call it good #except it is definitely made for applying to a job not a school #and i dont know how to change it or what all i need to change to make it better #like i feel like i should remove things but then it just seems really empty??#and i am also trying to plan a trip with my mom to go look at one of the schools tomorrow #because i completely forgot that was a thing i should maybe do?#i just started applying places without even thinking about the schools themselves #outside of if they were good/had the programs i want #i didn't look at price or the campus or how big they are or what cities they are in #and the one im looking at with my mom has two campuses and i have to pick which one i want to go to #and trying to figure out which one would be better is very confusing #wish they would just be like you will have access to these facilities at this campus and these facilities at this one #but they dont have that #and then also i need to figure out TA/GA positions and applications #and i am so stressed about that and keep putting it off #but like. i have basically given myself two weeks to get everything done and haven't done any of it yet #and i am going to cry and puke #do i actually think i can do this if the application is making me feel like this?#but i cant back out now because i have told too many people and asked for refernce letters #and also i do want to do it #but then i am also supposed to look for even more schools and have to do all this for them too #*sobbibng*

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february-academia · 2 years ago

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28.04.2023

So much happened this week. (In tags I'll rant about it)

N4 is coming and my prep is not at all good. Took a test today and i failed🥲. But i know my prep is soo bad,it was bound to happen. So have to study for that.

College exams are coming🥹 also have to study for that. The dissertation proposal is in the finalising stage,so that's good. But have to work on it properly imo.

Then i also proposed another research study to my professor and he has encouraged me to go for it. So,also have to work on it.

These very cutu plants in the scorching heat were a treat to eyes and mind.

Got this book from the library and I'm really enjoying reading the essays.

( correction in a tag- she scored less than me in class and she was all sad sad. With her i had to suppress my happiness at moments like these)

#here i go #so here in this clg i have 2 friends mainly they are my classmates and one is roomates also so thsi roomate is very toxic i kinda knew it #from the start but ignoted it bcs we became friends when we used to have online lectures and haven't met each other and somethings happened #in which she helped me so i was kinda obliged to stay w her. and after sometime i kinda strted feeling it. all the bad vibes #the toxicity she carry for other ppl judging them on their appearances and whenever i trued to correct her tries to manipulate things #like she jas all of the mean girl vibe but i the clown couldn't just had the courage or ways to not be w her i so wnated to but couldn't #it was all so fucked up and living w her. i changed i started judging ppl. this was so bad. she went through soem toughtimes and as i frien #friend i cared for her i was there for her almost all the times and most of the times whenever i needed her she was not.#tries to dominate always and the incident due to ehich I'm writing all this is - I'm not earing well properly well from past month she know #and last sunday i was very excited to this dish and i wanted to take more and she said very rudely how much more will you eat? i said i did #not had lunchand almost didn't eat the ehole day what's yhe nig deal abt it why tou saying and stopping me like that and she said i did not #say it she said again i did not say it with that rude voice like she can never be wrong and ppl wjom i rarely talk to have noticed that #I've lost weight but she who luves wirh me almost all the time do not know it whom I've talked to abt this don't knwo it . i didn't have #any appetite after that i just stuffed the food unsideand went outside wiyjout syaing anything 8 wanted ro puke so bad i controlled my #i couldn't beleive what just happened i didn't try to talk to her and she obviously wouldn't bcs of teh ego and then there's another friend #and classmate of us and she has a great bond w her then after taht incident she is also not talking ro me and. avoiding me in the corridor #making me feel like I'm the onw wrong here and thwse 2 ppl were not on talking term a week ago again ego calshes this other girl didn't #so yeah i got snakes here #now I'm all alone but this feels great literally like yes i cried and couldn't sleep bcs even tho i knew they are not always what they show #they were the only obes here i was able to form a bond with ( i hate this part so much now)and i care abt friendships alot but it ended #they are not talking to me I'm not talking to them. but thus whole thing made me free now I'm free i don't have to wait for them everytime #i want to go to library or to a class or to a walk bcs they wanted everything to be done in a grp #and I'm going everyday out to study to walk and to jyst peacefully live bcs now I don't have to deal with negativity and toxicity anymore #i feel myself again my trye self who was kind to ppl who wanted to just study quietly in evening who wanted to just go in class on time #i don't have to feel that if i di this will she judge me I'm feeling free with what I'm wearing I'll enjoy and celebrate all my wins #and achievements of the last year bcs i couldn't even enjoy those when i was with her just bcs she didn't got less tahn me #I'm smiling more nad I'm loving more myself to actually avle to come out of thsi spiral i didn't even know i could so yay #listening to you're on your own kid in loop and it made me so happy #that's it done. there was so much to say ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hope you got some idea of what's happening in my life #sending you all love and light and if you find urslf in somesimilar situation or any difficulty rn hope you get out of it very soon<3

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effysayres · 8 months ago

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i need a kiss from my girlfriend and 14 hours sleep and for work to be cancelled in the morning :((

#fraise.txt #my girlfriend left to go back home this morning and the thought we will be apart for seven months makes me puke #i am horrible at expressing my emotions irl but now that i'm alone... yep i wanna curl into a ball #and also i have report cards to make which does not help #i guess it was a beautiful week but now it's back to reality #still want work cancelled though so i can do these in a better headspace #no choice but to start now i guess

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timelesslords · 2 years ago

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Thinking about how even when Ellie was mad at Joel and knew he lied and was beginning to resent him for it she still tattooed the moth from his guitar onto her arm. Even when she was furious with him she still loved him. Even when they weren’t speaking. Even when she couldnt forgive him. She still loved him enough to get something that reminded her of him in ink on her body forever. Feeling sick dni

#it wasn’t fully inked in the hospital flashback #which means in theory she could’ve changed the design #made it different #made is something not Joel #but she didn’t #so that’s cool and doesn’t make me want to puke at all #tlou #tlou 2 spoilers #tlou2 spoilers #tlou 2 #tlou2

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mejomonster · 1 year ago

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Someone please tell Me if aiming for 1 date a week when single is realistic

This book How Not To Die Alone gave such advice and while I realize where it's coming from good intentions in theory (making dating Hesitators who always feel they need to be more perfect before dating to just Go Date), i also frankly don't know how I'd meet 1 vaguely stable vaguely compatible person to ask out in a year let alone weekly.

#rant #like. if i were to meet the once a qeek quota right now?#id basically HAVE to ask out someone with nothing in common or whos in a poly relationship even tho #tyats not what im looking for (so the relationsgip would go nowhere and id waste both our time)#or with red flags (overt ones... which i simply refuse to do)#and then... if somehow i disregarded all boundaries and asked out virtually Anyone #and thats assuming ppl say yes. and i matxhed 10k people once and 1 single incompatible person said yes in a whole year.#well even IF it all worked out and i found one date a qeek.#im chronically ill and have gastroparesis. so SITTING hurts a lot and EATING food is not always possible for me #if i have a bad day i cant eat foods for a few days or week #and even on good days... one bad food choice can mean puking and pain and unable to eat for a WEEK following #so im scared of restaurant food a bit.#because even when i order very safely and barely eat. a restaurant might make a mistake and add food im allergic too #or forget to remove what i asked. or i didnt realize they used dairy in a salad dressing #and then im puking and bloated and in oain and starving for days :/#so like. a coffee date? a tea date? id be up for that. resonably safe its jyst flavored water.#but ANY restaurant or long movie (sitting) or something involving food and im quite scared i would be #very sick the remainder of the week.#and i have othef things to save my energy for vesides dates: WORK MEETINGS. work so i dont call in sick VOMITING.#my family wanting a nice dinner including some bread (and me reallt wanting the bread and to not have to skip dinner so i want to risk it)#my 2 times weekly PT where i cant call in sick and if im exhaustsd and vomiting and in intense pain PT is VERY hard.#my friends who (like dates) often wish to grab food. which as mentioned is always a huge risk and #i always sacrifice Getting to see friends i love with May Be Utterly fucked up for a week :c

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doctordragon · 1 year ago

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"what spec are you playing this tier"

As if that's a fucking question

#i didnt know the shirtless guy in this meme was onision which makes me want to puke . anyway.#restaration shaman #world of warcraft #rsham #shaman #wow

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sanchoyo · 2 years ago

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interview in an hour send good vibes besties 🥺

#🧿…..#🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀….#actually a little less than an hour aaaaa I’ll leave in like 20 mins I’ve been waiting All Day impatiently #I want it to be over 💀#listen even if it doesn’t work for whatever reason. I am trying very hard to consider it practice for other interviews like even if it’s #not The Job it can be A Good Practice Run #nervous. also physically ill rn 😭 im going anyway but I feel like im gonna faint or puke can anxiety stoppp I am trying my best and I look #so cute in my little slacks. im wearing my binder too idk idk the compression feels like a comforting hug rn I need it 😭#idk what im gonna say if it’s a place that actually asks my pronouns like the only place that ever did that was walmart actually #shit place to work but their more recent inclusivity stuff is better than other local places at least #sucks they’re shit pay and shit abt unions etc etc etc #but u could put whatever the fuck u wanted on ur name tag which was awesome there was a lady called granny and no one knew her real name #and gotta say I was a huge fan of that she ruled #sanchoyorambles #on the other hand what if they don’t hire me bc of my blue hair and pronouns (my hair is actually blue so this is even better . I mean #it would suck but the jokes I could make lol)

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