#which kinda is the worst part
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
In 2020, 44% of users from Denmark used Tumblr daily.
Text
OG tags:
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#even if you know why#you can't still make them love you#which kinda is the worst part#(speaking from own experience)
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
listen. i know it's not 2014 anymore and i know it's just a throwaway line and that the russo brothers didnt intend for marvel action blockbuster captain america the winter soldier to become the tragic gay love story that never was but man. having steve say "it's kind of hard to find someone with shared life experience" in a conversation about romantic relationships right before the bucky reveal is so cruel. it's not just about steve and bucky obviously having the shared experience of being "out of time," it's the fact that they've both been stripped of their humanity in opposite directions. steve is a legend, he is an american hero and a national icon before he is a human being the same way that bucky is a weapon and a killing machine before he is a human being. steve knows that anyone who falls in love with him in the 21st century fell in love with captain america first, and that's just not him. but then the one person who knew him first and knew him best and loved him (not captain america, that little guy from brooklyn) so much he died for it is alive, impossibly. and it's a miracle because he's back and it's horrific because he's back under the worst possible circumstances. but to steve, the winter soldier is worth tearing the world apart for because he's always been bucky first. they find each other and suddenly they're human again. and maybe, despite it all, being "out of time" becomes a blessing, because in this century they'd finally be allowed to love each other the way they've always wanted to. like real people do.
like. no. the captain america trilogy isn't about two queer men traumatized and alienated by war and modern life rediscovering and reclaiming their humanity through their love for each other. but. i mean. it couldve been
#like you get why all the fics about those two are insane right. the narrative is just so goddamn compelling#and thats not even getting into the whole thing abt the serum curing steve of every ailment except his love for bucky#which makes him realize it was never an ailment to begin with (despite the commonly held beliefs about homosexuality in the 1940s)#and bucky being *electroshocked* again and again into forgetting steve#like howd you make your gay ass movie that gay and not realize it. its kinda impressive#sorry for the ridiculous stucky retrospective its 4am and i rewatched the winter soldier recently#its not that deep. its not its not its not . but if it was anything other than what it is it could have been. and thats the worst part#shut up riley#marvel#stucky
32K notes
·
View notes
Text
shuichi posting
#my art#fanart#strawberridraws#danganronpa#drv3#shuichi saihara#character design#don't ask me what possessed me to make this#(its the game grumps play through. the demons have officially returned)#all my aus and head canons bouncing around at maximum velocity rn..#technically this is part of my “the tragedy was real” au / towa kids au#but shuichi (in that au) was kinda just like#what he is on the tin#aka a nice dude taken under his uncles wing post parent death (tragedy) (they were on vacation and got caught up in one of the worst areas)#in my au its like. imagine a weather map with hotspots; that's how the tragedy worked#so shuichi lived in a less effected area but with the rise of infected people (like zombie apocalypse style) (and animorphs brain worm styl#as you cannot tell who is effected by despair and to what extent unless they choose to reveal themselves)#there was a hugeee uptick in crime and shit so he started working with his uncle early on#eventually his uncle went missing (I think its not super hammered out) and he went to investigate#which is when he runs into his like Gang of pregame ppl#(Kaito maki Kaede)#and later some others (towa kid gang [kokichi gang but with drv3 kids] island gang [angie kork n amami])#ANYWAYS its a thing...#ik its been like 3 years since I first posted about it but u can't control the brain worms ig#and I just wanted to do a redesign lmao
366 notes
·
View notes
Note
Why is Erik taking a shower and is fully prepared to fight naked in that panel 😭
my man turning into a baby is a typical tuesday activity but the second he wanna little naked shower fight NOW its suspicious 🤨
#snap chats#cant a man be a lil hostile and naked in his home ... 'his' home ... w/e ...#this is the part where i reward tag readers CONTEXT TIME#i mean. it's not crazy context but anyway#erik went for a swim and As You Do went to shower off once he was done. cant have chlorine in the hair.... gon damage his beautiful locks..#he was shavin in the shower when he hears someone come in so Naturally he assumes the worst as this is Xavier's School For Gifted Youngster#never a moment of peace not even to shower and shave ..#'whyd he go for a swim' I Dont Know he really just decides on that. maybe it was a complex way to give him a weapon#maybe they just wanted to draw him naked and in a speedo I Dont Know 2x sounds like something id do frankly#the context is pretty much isolated from the story- like it's more of a scene starter and reintroduces tom and sharon into the plot#CONTEXT: tom and sharon are Effectively erik's coworkers at the school who caught one of emma's students- empath- acting a fool on site#empath- as it may be assumed- has the ability to mess with people's emotions and so. how we say.#'had tom and sharon distract each other' for a few hours while he fucked around the mansion and more specifically#fucked with erik's emotions to make him depressed enough to give up the new mutants to emma#Hence the mansion was virtually empty bar danielle and warlock which probably didnt help make erik Less paranoid of sudden noises#hence .... razorblade combat time ... but yeah once he realizes its just tom and sharon he's like Oh Fuck The Hell Happened#and then he gets super pissed once he realizes empath kinda tricked him into giving up his kids 🥰#god i love this issue i really do .. cant wait til next month where i can read what happens next ..#'snap you have the internet' OK AND I LIKE MY PHYSICAL MEDIA. plus i like this arc so far i want a physical of it ...#but yeah thats why eriks naked and prepared to cut someone with a razor. you can learn more in The New Mutants number 39 :]
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
#persona 4#p4#persona 4 golden#p4g#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#souyo#kinda#i think its a bit telling that the way in which yosuke describes the best part of his youth pretty much alludes primarily to yu#those are all things that he thanks yu for - for being a friend that has seen the worst parts of him; someone he can be his true self with#yu is the first friend that yosuke makes a genuine connection to#beyond the superficial friends-by-necessity friendship with the people of his hometown who didnt bother keeping in contact with him#he talks about having someone that holds him accountable so that he can face himself#and of course we know that the only person (apart from teddie) who has seen yosuke's shadow is yu#i think its cute that he got flustered talking about it but i also think yu probably understood as he was listening to him#anyway im gushing again IM NOT SORRY THO#he's good with his queue
165 notes
·
View notes
Text
man i think yosuke is like, more obsessed with the idea of women than he is attracted to them as people. i don’t think he’s so far gone that he doesn’t think women are people, and i do generally interpret him as being attracted to women, but i think the concepts are a little separated in his head, and a little mythologized. like for example, there’s such a visible shift in his behaviour when he’s thinking of chie as a person and when he’s thinking of her as a girl. like, i think he considers chie the person as someone that’s ultimately really important to him, a good friend that he cares about a great deal, but is also super irritating and not his first choice of person to spend very extended amounts of time around. chie the girl is a Girl. and yosuke Likes Girls, as like a relatively important part of his identity, so he hits on her despite having less than a snowball’s chance in hell. i don’t think he’s even all that attracted to her specifically, he’s just attracted to the concept of girls that’s been built up in his head
#yosuke’s shitty in mundane ways where he’s ultimately a product of his environment rather than rotten to the core#most of it is regurgitating things he’s been taught are ‘normal’ to cover up his insecurity#and he just kinda lucked out with the worst friend group to attempt ‘normalcy’ with#so his shittiness ends up more emphasized than it otherwise would be#which is super interesting#rambles#p4g posting#his homophobia is the thing that usually gets focused on (for very understandable reasons)#but his his misogyny is both more pervasive and more interesting to me personally#it’s difficult teasing out what parts of it are of his character and what parts of it are The Game’s biases though#yosukeposting
66 notes
·
View notes
Note
Regarding your cerebrocrustacean headcanons mentioned in the previous ask: they very well could be somewhat canon given how, when asked if Albedo and Dr. Psychobos would be willing to work together, Derrick J. Wyatt responded with "Psychobos seems like a total team up slut, he'll team up with any villain any time" (his words, not mine).
Which he likely meant in the sense of "Psychobos is so power-hungry he'll team up with anyone in order to get ahead", but with your headcanons and the fact he never talks much about his personal life in mind, you could alternatively interpret it as "Psychobos is so desperately lonely he'll accept anyone he has even the slightest similarity with into his clique, even members of a species he's violently xenophobic towards" (probably to cope with/serve as a rebound for his mancrush Azmuth friendzoning him /lh /hj).
Now all of this is making me realize that it was a massive missed opportunity in Omniverse to not have Psychobos' demeanor do a complete 180 around the people he works with compared to everyone else (whether sincere or a thinly-veiled manipulation tactic) if not solely for a few jokes. Especially him acting like an affectionate father figure towards Malware (whether he likes it or not) solely so he can rub it in Azmuth's face that "I'm a FAR more attentive and caring parental figure towards your creation than YOU ever were, and I use the term loosely".
WHAT DO YOU MEAN DJW SAID 'TEAM UP SLUT' HAHAH WHAT!? dear god it's true it's on the wiki what the fuck what the fuck assdfjhghsdlfkgfkl-!
I mean, look at his already canon group; Khyber, allegedly the greatest huntsman in the galaxy, teaming up with Dr Psychobos to make a little watch that can sample (specifically predatory) animals; and Malware, a technology absorbing mutant mechamorph, working with the cybernetically enhanced (also listed as a mutant???) cerebrocrustacean in order to make said watch- if liking the concept of animals and incorporating machines as part of oneself is enough to get into Dr Psychobos' clique well, he's certainly stretched what that means far enough to at least snag two others into his initial team up. Same can't be said for Attea and the incurseans which seems to be more of a sponsor type relationship, and Maltruant commissioned him to repair his body but violated the trade agreement so whether or not Psychobos would do business with the incurseans again, he's already squarely sequestered Maltruant in the outest of out-groups :P
Hah, the 'Dr Psychobos adopting Malware specifically to stick it to Azmuth' bit reminded me of a signing-the-adoption-papers version of the 'I throw my used car batteries in the ocean' thing- something along the lines of; [psychobos voice] "You are the most calamitous individual I have had the pleasure of meeting, and I use the term loosely." [malware voice, threateningly] "I have devoured and absorbed the specs of the Omnitrix." [psychobos signing adoption papers] [malware, experiencing the affects of cerebrocrustacean in-grouping and having no frame of reference on how to deal with it] "What the fuck is happening-"
#ask#anonymous#dr psychobos#malware#malware ben 10#cerebrocrustacean#khyber is mentioned technically but like he's just there for clique demonstration#ben 10#heartbreaking: the worst person you know included you in his in-group and loves and respects you just because you shared one interest#i will draw this it's a visceral image it's just that it's not now because i am exhausted :P#does psychobos having an in-group suddenly make him a good person- no#does psychobos having an in-group that does not care about what species is in it make him a good person- also no#he's a jerk which severe xenophobia and like the encephalonus IV equivalent of like- sigmund freud#but also not freud because freud is a fraud that only became the father of psychology because psychologists around the world disavowed him#but like- an infamous figure which controversial opinions but ultimately- being so well known he is the face of the collective#that collective being cerebrocrustaceans as a whole because god damn it why did dr psychobos have to go for ben 10? for fucking azmuth!?#even assholes have in-groups it's kinda how assholes spread (well they can spread in other ways but that's not relevant to the current topi#i would be nice though if the allegedly greatest huntsman and the chronically unloved mutant experienced cerebrocrustacean in-group respect#khyber would be off-put as a solo one-man show (well there's also zed but he doesn't even gender her right let alone treat her well)#malware would be so inexperienced with interactions even slightly positive he'd kinda mostly be too stunned to do anything but stand silent#dr psychobos as per usual talks and talks as if bouncing back against a wall (because really he might as well be)#but so long as his treatment towards his in-group keeps them around longer (with the bonus of not getting stabbed in the back hopefully)#then far be it from he to complain whenever his fellows come back with their parts of his little pet project
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
one of the most bitter ironies from a certain flavour of western (usually American, British, French) leftist who’se decided to comment on the Jews Writ large and just suggest that Israelis ought to have just gone back to where they come from if they didn’t want to be murdered is that the US, UK, and France been hugely culpable in forcing massive numbers of Jews, along with other middle eastern refugees, from their homelands through colonialism and interventionist and destabilizing policies in Iran, Afghanistan , Algeria, Lebanon, Yemen, and so forth. It’s downright ghoulish to refuse to wrestle with the history behind why the vast majority of the worlds’ middle eastern Jews live in the state of Israel when YOU, as the major colonial powers of the region, are culpable for it
#No I don’t want to hear from Yankees about Jews dying as a form of solidarity from their own actions actually#Everyone should be an anti Zionist#An essential and I mean ESSENTIAL part of that work is mentally reckoning with WHY Jews live in the state of Israel to begin with#Because otherwise? Kinda feels like the worst forms of gaslighting#Sorry we destabilized your homelands to the extent you were forced to leave as refugees AND refused to reckon with creating a global world#In which you could be safe!#Here’s someone else’s land. As a treat#All you refugees can be unceremoniously dumped here now have fun guys!!!!!#As an Ashkenazi but also tagalog Jew: there isn’t nearly enough intersectionality on Jews themselves as post colonial victims or how the#State ideology was founded in the first place#It’s extra bitter to hear simplistic takes from western leftists about how the Jews can just go home like#A) where? Where too?#And b. I don’t want to throw them this bone#But the vast vast majority of Jews who don’t live in isreal live in other settler colonial states#Because we were. Moved there#But for some funny reason those tend to be the states they live in and they don’t consider their own passports sufficient cause of dea#death. Or something
125 notes
·
View notes
Text
an idea i invite anyone else to write about / run with lol....
the premise that The Change gets all messed up for alberto, say it's something that can happen from stress, &/or happens rarely and you just have to wait for it to resolve itself....used as some parallel to struggling through some emotional turbulence / upheaval / questioning / Realizing Things, etc etc
#luca 2021#pixar luca#alberto scorfano#another idea i've failed to write for & so invite anyone else to run with: ciao alberto but what if he peaces out by swimming off lol#ends up in a coastal town maybe an hour's swim from genoa. but not Getting In Touch w/anyone for a while b/c plausibly he thinks that#giulia may not be a fan of him now by extension; just being too embarrassed asf to reach out to luca kinda lol....luca off doing his own#thing just fine & alberto not wanting to write him now like b/c i Ruined Everything again ahaha....#and by ''not in touch w/anyone for a while'' who knows. months; a few years even....might stumble across news of him b/c like.#say more sea folk are coming to land / more humans know abt them & not many places are as [harpoon]ly from the start anyways#portorosso exceptional in that way....maybe where alberto settles down they're like legendary but also considered Good Luck anyways lol.#anyways like some people know of him who might; say; swim down to portorosso. have their own teen who knows a teen who mostly lives on land#most convenient re sparking [wow could they mean Our alberto] if he doesn't go so far as to take up an alias lol. but why would he....#that difference in that massimo might figure that however alberto was surviving before; he could continue to do so now; but even though tha#is some comfort it's still Not Actually Enough....feeling way more Parentally towards alberto than his biological dad like that; obv#and anyways re: this [The Change gets messed up] idea it's more of an inconvenience lol but one that could still have some significance#like if he first finds out the issue exists via hopping right into the ocean; failing to change forms; never being human form'd in water b4#thee worst....crash intro course to the experience of drowning. observation of How Humans Swim / being able to grab any part of the boat...#and besides That unpleasantness it's like; hey. where's my nonhuman form at#or; of course; being in sea form even while dry....especially if he's still dealing with Nonsense on land. which is presumed.#&/or if there's an upswing in nonsense b/c of Other ways you're Othered...ofc we can consider like; tfw you're a gay fish & maybe that's no#something that on its own would be like Aah until it's like well a) i kinda wanna do things that would make this Visible and b) i've learne#that humans also Have Issues about this kind of thing....#appropriately my tablet was also all thrown off. no pressure sensitivity; input sensitivity overall was rough#but i would've had to restart my laptop about it lol like eh i'll just work around it
178 notes
·
View notes
Text
WHY DID THEY GIVE HIM A BIRD LMAO
I get it, he flies in the air like birb, I get it, but like- you can't make him a bird guy, his already-non-existent incel rizz can't fucking take a hit like that 😂
#the worst part is it's 100% believable that he *would* be the kinda guy to get way too into keeping a bird/birds given the opportunity#is the problem is it's fully within his character#(for context he doesn't have a real bird (so far 👀 I suppose it would be in the cards for a pirate) which is why this is a wild choice)#one piece#for the record: I have no beef w bird people#they're hecking cool and alt and if we didn't have cats growing up I might've been one of them#it's merely in line with the usual comedy of sanji trying to conform to the normie lifestyle so hard#and failing at it so miserably because of who he is as a person#guys you meet at the medieval market (affectionate and derogatory at the same time somehow)#at least make it like a chicken or smth that would be useful for cooking purposes#smth smth birds of prey harley quinn movie lesbianism joke
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
guys
Im bedbound bc the pharmacy didnt have the medication for my life threatening disorder so we had to transfer it to another pharmacy and that takes a day or two soooooo I'm prob gonna be bedbound for the next couple days (more context in tags, tw period mention)
but being bedbound also means that I can't get up to eat or drink or use the bathroom (kinda important since yk, period) and my mom works from home and I'm on break so she's busy, and she doesn't understand anyway
#so the reason I can't walk on my period is bc of sensory problems#I also have PMDD which makes me suicidal#which is the life threatening disorder#and the worst part is that if I had my medication I wouldn't have gotten my period#UGHHHHH#tw period mention#tw sui mention#tw vent#vent#kinda vent
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
i really need to give the lsers different hairstyles than v-shaped front bangs, long sidebangs, and short back of head hair considering half of them already have that hairstyle but unfortunately its fucks hard so.
#mine.txt#sorry to long-haired kab enjoyers but shes getting it all chopped off#its a major reason why i have trouble drawing her#like psychologically i mean#so i kinda have to if i wanna keep drawing her#yeah my brain just kinda decides what design traits certain chars Should have#and if i deviate from that id wanna kms everytime i draw then#dont ask me why i work like that i just do#worst part is i dont even know what the problem is right away#i have to figure that part on my own based on which part of the drawing process makes me feel like theres hooks in my brain
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
when the blind reactors you watch are starting to get into the Nitty Gritty of plot and you are going to have to be Very Careful in your meta ramble comments from now on so as to not accidentally sway their thinking or Give Anything Away
#SoEverdream on patreon just finished s3#and got to the 'rose shattered pink diamond' (*major irony Air Quotes*) ''reveal''#we really in it now boys#jen rambles#man tho it's so funny at the end of s3 he was musing on if the reveal of what rose ''did'' would at all change steven's willingness to be#more offensive on the field in a situation of need and he was like... 'man part of me... actually really wants that and a part of me#Does Not because steven is a literal child and at the end of the day i want him to stay innocent'#and meanwhile in the back of my head i'm just#war flashbacks to 16 yr old steven Going On the Offensive and uh#it not ending well :')#which i still think... narratively- how it's presented- was kinda genius on a meta level#they play up that fight the whole episode... building up towards it with a whole anime-esque training montage#playing it up like some fuckin shounen shenanigans#for Many audience members i think they were like 'holy shit lets GOOOOOO fight fight fight'#but then like#WHAM. consequences hit#and it's not a fun little shounen fight scene anymore#and you realize that this is the worst possible thing that could've ever happened to steven- truly giving himself over to the offensive#like god damn holy SHIT i cannot wait for this reactor to eventually get there#bc his reaction to steven having to stab a sword clear through bismuth was VISCERAL#and i just KNOW it'll be the same at That Moment#and i CRAVE it#but i need to be patient ahahah#all in good time :)
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
not to be weird and sappy on main, but frfr i'm so glad i have found a community of people who think my work is good
#talking#to the tags if you want the longer rant that maybe i'll talk about fully one day#tl;dr when i was in hs i was with my ex that i think ive mentioned like once or twice#there was a lot of shit wrong with that relationship and us and me at the time#but the thing that happened after we broke up which was the worst was her saying i was passionless#because in her mind i wasn't 'trying hard enough'#didn't help that she was super talented in art (even if thinking about it now its way too disney for my taste tbh)#and seemingly had her life together bc she had a super cool supportive mom#(wish i could've gotten her in the divorce tm)#and tbh that haunted me for YEARS#i stopped drawing for years after being with her#i didn't really pick up drawing HARD again until 2020#and i didn't really work on many of my own wips#just kinda poked at the ashes of the wips i got in the divorce (which funnily enough i don't use anymore. used the ocs but not the plots)#i was just so fucked up about it#but seeing y'all comment that you like my writing and my art#having people say that my worldbuilding is fire and passionate#idk it heals the part of me that died that day#so thank you all from the bottom of my soul#whenever y'all are kind enough to compliment me the hole mends even more#so idk i was just thinkin about it like bro the difference between me then and now is night and day#in part to all my lovely friends and mutuals#so yeah idk thank u i'm gonna go back in me corner again
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
cant sleep … plagued with thoughts.. overstimmed… also starving… time to scroll tumblr till i have to go to class :,((
#my thoughts#i slept like 3 hours but my roommate kept moving and it bothered me where every movement made me irrationally angry#and i keep waking up and having immediate brainrot lfjkfnfjnf so its fun but also not bc im literally SO drained pleasssseee shut up brain#like baby i have a presentation tomorrow at 8:30AM and i have to do a whole reflection paper#go to fucking sleeeeeeep#and the worst part is i FORGOT to eat . before bed . cuz i was too tired and said fuck it ill eat in the morn#which is horrible bc now im like. starving and gross bc i also didnt do anything i kinda just collapsed JFKDNDKDN#but i dont wanna get up. because. um. four am and i dont wannnnaaa eat.i waanaa eat in the morning#so ive just been holding stan bunny close and thinking thoughts while actively trying to sleep JFKDNFKDJD#anyways. Im a functioning human person!#: D !#GggfrRRRAGGhggh#so annoying bc i usually can sleep on command like its nothing lmfao#but i have too many things on my frickin mind i cant shut it up pensive#anyways THIS IS A LONG TAG THING NSJFJDKFJD UHHHHH runs away#DELETE LATER????
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
hello... (and bye ig 👋)
#👋😭 hi...#i haven't come on in about a month and i didn't realize a month passed by like that... i've kinda stopped using any apps on my phone#i barely even talk to my friends anymore lol 😭#i just saw my follower count this morning and realized i hit 13k and i was like 🥸 huh...#uhhhhhhh 😭 idk i wanted to say thank you i guess 🫂#i'm done with stayblr and tumblr in general 😭 this much has been obvious for a while now... i tried to fit myself back in during 5star but#i think i realized i've outgrown the vibes here and in online spaces in general... i don't really enjoy it anymore 😭 which is weird cause#i've used tumblr since i was in middle school so 🫡 end of an era some would say...#i think it sucks because i don't have the same feelings about this place or skz or anything in my life right now... i tried to ignore it bu#it's so obvious now that the entirety of december passed without me really talking to a single person / without me using social media /#without me really doing much except for like homework and assignments lmao#i think genuinely i've stopped enjoying everything i used to like and i don't know why 😭 it hit me the other day bc i don't even enjoy#pc collecting anymore which is CRAZY considering how much time and money i've put into that hobby so 👋🥸 who knows what goes on#i haven't consumed any skz content since rockstar dropped 😭 and that also feels weird to me... idk... i would say maybe i'm going through a#depressive episode but i don't really feel how i do then... i think i'm just tired like i always am and that's just how i am now .. i think#i'm just not really interested in things anymore? weird but .. yeah idk😭 if i knew what was wrong i would Fix It sndjdndkd mostly i'm just#sad because i haven't been talking to friends... i keep ignoring everyone and not replying to any texts from anyone because ????#i tell myself i will do it later but i know i won't ... idk i genuinely don't know why i'm struggling to talk to ppl anymore 😭 i've become#even more of a reclusive hermit than i already was 💀 and the worst part is i feel normal abt it#i don't feel /bad/ i just feel guilty that i'm not replying to ppl bc i don't want to hurt ppls feelings... on my end i feel Normal abt it#like i ??? is it weird that i'm so detached from everything that not even a month ago made me so happy..? that's weird right 😭 like idgi#i don't feel (as) depressed (as i usually do) but clearly ?? smth is wrong ?? like ik i'm not a clingy sentimental person but ? it kinda#makes me sad wondering if i really don't care abt ppl anymore ... but i think 😭 it's also the object permanence issues that come with adhd#not seeing or talking to the ppl i love . not doing my hobbies or seeing the groups i care abt . makes it easy to not care or forget what#they make me feel etc etc ... i get it... but idk 😭 if that's what this is . well wow it sucks ASS.. cause i feel guilty for not feeling#anything at all ... 😭 idk how to explain that HENSKDNISJS anywayyyy 💀#i came on cause i wanted to say thank you for 13k followers 😭‼️ and that i probably will not be online anymore unless i really want to say#this was a really long winded way to say i feel bad but i'm done with stayblr fr 👋🥸 i tried so hard for the last 2 years to make it feel#like home again but it stopped ages ago so 🥹 that's ok.. i still cherish my memories here 🫂 anyway thanku and sjsjsksksks bye i guess 😭#who knows maybe i'll enjoy it one day again and come back :') never know what the future holds 🫡
20 notes
·
View notes