#which kinda is the worst part

[kadunud]

OG tags:

#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole

going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

[lungthief]

listen. i know it's not 2014 anymore and i know it's just a throwaway line and that the russo brothers didnt intend for marvel action blockbuster captain america the winter soldier to become the tragic gay love story that never was but man. having steve say "it's kind of hard to find someone with shared life experience" in a conversation about romantic relationships right before the bucky reveal is so cruel. it's not just about steve and bucky obviously having the shared experience of being "out of time," it's the fact that they've both been stripped of their humanity in opposite directions. steve is a legend, he is an american hero and a national icon before he is a human being the same way that bucky is a weapon and a killing machine before he is a human being. steve knows that anyone who falls in love with him in the 21st century fell in love with captain america first, and that's just not him. but then the one person who knew him first and knew him best and loved him (not captain america, that little guy from brooklyn) so much he died for it is alive, impossibly. and it's a miracle because he's back and it's horrific because he's back under the worst possible circumstances. but to steve, the winter soldier is worth tearing the world apart for because he's always been bucky first. they find each other and suddenly they're human again. and maybe, despite it all, being "out of time" becomes a blessing, because in this century they'd finally be allowed to love each other the way they've always wanted to. like real people do.

like. no. the captain america trilogy isn't about two queer men traumatized and alienated by war and modern life rediscovering and reclaiming their humanity through their love for each other. but. i mean. it couldve been

[strawberri-draws]

shuichi posting

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Why is Erik taking a shower and is fully prepared to fight naked in that panel 😭

my man turning into a baby is a typical tuesday activity but the second he wanna little naked shower fight NOW its suspicious 🤨

[daily-hanamura]

[a-sketchy]

man i think yosuke is like, more obsessed with the idea of women than he is attracted to them as people. i don’t think he’s so far gone that he doesn’t think women are people, and i do generally interpret him as being attracted to women, but i think the concepts are a little separated in his head, and a little mythologized. like for example, there’s such a visible shift in his behaviour when he’s thinking of chie as a person and when he’s thinking of her as a girl. like, i think he considers chie the person as someone that’s ultimately really important to him, a good friend that he cares about a great deal, but is also super irritating and not his first choice of person to spend very extended amounts of time around. chie the girl is a Girl. and yosuke Likes Girls, as like a relatively important part of his identity, so he hits on her despite having less than a snowball’s chance in hell. i don’t think he’s even all that attracted to her specifically, he’s just attracted to the concept of girls that’s been built up in his head

[coconutcows]

Regardless of your thoughts, feelings, or opinions, Curly very much is also a victim of Jimmy’s.

Curly is a victim of Jimmy’s.

Curly being a victim of Jimmy does not however make Anya any less of a victim. They were both different types of Victims, Anya being sexually assaulted and having her sense of safety, personhood, and autonomy violated. Curly was manipulated and belittled by Jimmy pre crash several times, Jimmy also completely twisted what Curly said a few times to warp it to his own perception. They did not have a healthy friendship.

Everyone on the Tulpar was a victim of Jimmy’s by the end.

- Curly in an unhealthy and unbalanced friendship

- Daisuke a victim of Jimmy’s Manipulation

- Swansea became a murder victim

- and of course Anya was a victim of rape and misogyny

But again, other characters being victimized by Jimmy do not detract from what happened to Anya or her Victimhood

[whatudottu]

Regarding your cerebrocrustacean headcanons mentioned in the previous ask: they very well could be somewhat canon given how, when asked if Albedo and Dr. Psychobos would be willing to work together, Derrick J. Wyatt responded with "Psychobos seems like a total team up slut, he'll team up with any villain any time" (his words, not mine).

Which he likely meant in the sense of "Psychobos is so power-hungry he'll team up with anyone in order to get ahead", but with your headcanons and the fact he never talks much about his personal life in mind, you could alternatively interpret it as "Psychobos is so desperately lonely he'll accept anyone he has even the slightest similarity with into his clique, even members of a species he's violently xenophobic towards" (probably to cope with/serve as a rebound for his mancrush Azmuth friendzoning him /lh /hj).

Now all of this is making me realize that it was a massive missed opportunity in Omniverse to not have Psychobos' demeanor do a complete 180 around the people he works with compared to everyone else (whether sincere or a thinly-veiled manipulation tactic) if not solely for a few jokes. Especially him acting like an affectionate father figure towards Malware (whether he likes it or not) solely so he can rub it in Azmuth's face that "I'm a FAR more attentive and caring parental figure towards your creation than YOU ever were, and I use the term loosely".

WHAT DO YOU MEAN DJW SAID 'TEAM UP SLUT' HAHAH WHAT!? dear god it's true it's on the wiki what the fuck what the fuck assdfjhghsdlfkgfkl-!

I mean, look at his already canon group; Khyber, allegedly the greatest huntsman in the galaxy, teaming up with Dr Psychobos to make a little watch that can sample (specifically predatory) animals; and Malware, a technology absorbing mutant mechamorph, working with the cybernetically enhanced (also listed as a mutant???) cerebrocrustacean in order to make said watch- if liking the concept of animals and incorporating machines as part of oneself is enough to get into Dr Psychobos' clique well, he's certainly stretched what that means far enough to at least snag two others into his initial team up. Same can't be said for Attea and the incurseans which seems to be more of a sponsor type relationship, and Maltruant commissioned him to repair his body but violated the trade agreement so whether or not Psychobos would do business with the incurseans again, he's already squarely sequestered Maltruant in the outest of out-groups :P

Hah, the 'Dr Psychobos adopting Malware specifically to stick it to Azmuth' bit reminded me of a signing-the-adoption-papers version of the 'I throw my used car batteries in the ocean' thing- something along the lines of; [psychobos voice] "You are the most calamitous individual I have had the pleasure of meeting, and I use the term loosely." [malware voice, threateningly] "I have devoured and absorbed the specs of the Omnitrix." [psychobos signing adoption papers] [malware, experiencing the affects of cerebrocrustacean in-grouping and having no frame of reference on how to deal with it] "What the fuck is happening-"

[rotzaprachim]

one of the most bitter ironies from a certain flavour of western (usually American, British, French) leftist who’se decided to comment on the Jews Writ large and just suggest that Israelis ought to have just gone back to where they come from if they didn’t want to be murdered is that the US, UK, and France been hugely culpable in forcing massive numbers of Jews, along with other middle eastern refugees, from their homelands through colonialism and interventionist and destabilizing policies in Iran, Afghanistan , Algeria, Lebanon, Yemen, and so forth. It’s downright ghoulish to refuse to wrestle with the history behind why the vast majority of the worlds’ middle eastern Jews live in the state of Israel when YOU, as the major colonial powers of the region, are culpable for it

[ichthyorelationships]

an idea i invite anyone else to write about / run with lol....

the premise that The Change gets all messed up for alberto, say it's something that can happen from stress, &/or happens rarely and you just have to wait for it to resolve itself....used as some parallel to struggling through some emotional turbulence / upheaval / questioning / Realizing Things, etc etc

[dkettchen]

WHY DID THEY GIVE HIM A BIRD LMAO

I get it, he flies in the air like birb, I get it, but like- you can't make him a bird guy, his already-non-existent incel rizz can't fucking take a hit like that 😂

[thesmokinpossum]

Didn't felt like mentioning it immediately but shoutout to my sick and twisted brain for getting so triggered by an unexpected Christmas parade that I ended up havin the absolute worst panic attack of my entire life (potentially the only real one? I've had a couple other episodes I thought of as panic attacks but they were not even close to that so who knows) to the point where I spent the very last day of my 30th year on this earth in the ER, good times, good times 😊

[freakinator]

i really need to give the lsers different hairstyles than v-shaped front bangs, long sidebangs, and short back of head hair considering half of them already have that hairstyle but unfortunately its fucks hard so.

[novantinuum]

when the blind reactors you watch are starting to get into the Nitty Gritty of plot and you are going to have to be Very Careful in your meta ramble comments from now on so as to not accidentally sway their thinking or Give Anything Away

[vacantgodling]

not to be weird and sappy on main, but frfr i'm so glad i have found a community of people who think my work is good

[whatthefuckisasweep]

cant sleep … plagued with thoughts.. overstimmed… also starving… time to scroll tumblr till i have to go to class :,((