#which it made it worse and funnier at the same time

[moonsoupstar-ao3]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 백작가의 망나니가 되었다 - 유려한 | Lout of Count's Family | Trash of the Count's Family - Yulyeohan Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Raon Miru & Venion Stan Characters: Raon Miru, Venion Stan Additional Tags: Look. this is not very explicit, but i rather be safe than sorry, Torture, Implied/Referenced Torture, Broken Bones, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Canonical Child Abuse, Raon Miru needs a hug, Sorry Not Sorry, Author Is Sleep Deprived, The Author Regrets Nothing Series: Part 1 of Whumpcember 2024, Part 154 of TCF drabbles Summary:

Deep in the Stan's territory, a black dragon breaks out of his egg. It's not received with a smile.

[pomegranatesarchive]

crying in the club | mv1

pairing: max verstappen x norris!reader

summary: how should one react when their boyfriend wins the world championship at the same time their brother loses it?

max my four time world champion!!!

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1, and 481,017 others!

yourusername: the sun will shine on you soon baby brother!! this season was tough but you got through it ♡♡ i love you forever (world champions are overrated anyways 😉)

view comments below!

user1: you are the strongest soldier here

user2: you are the reason i survived this season

user2: everytime i wanted to throw up, i thought about how you were doing, and thought you must’ve been doing much worse, thank you!

user3: youre finally free from all this ‘champion battle’ talk 🍾

user4: you running back in forth from redbull to mclaren made my night

user5: it’s even funnier how her body language would change, in the mclaren garage she would be all gloomy but once she ran back to redbull it was arms up partying

lewishamilton: i wouldn’t say alll world championships are overrated

yourusername: shut up lewis hamilton 7x world champion, arguably the best f1 driver in existence, kind, humble, handsome and—would you like do go on a date with me?

maxverstappen1: excuse me?

yourusername: i don’t know what happened max, i was i insulting him and next thing i knew i wanted him on my lap

lewishamilton: i feel…odd

yourusername: good odd or bad odd

lewishamilton: i can’t tell…

yourusername: come over to the redbull garage to find out 😼

landonorris: genuinely, what the fuck is going on?

maxverstappen1: i don’t know, so i’ve decided to ignore it

landonorris: ignoring what ever that was, thank you 🧡

yourusername: say it

landonorris: say what

yourusername: say ‘i love you’ you emotionally stunted gremlin

landonorris: i don’t…

yourusername: say it lando

maxverstappen1: yeah cmon lando, say it

landonorris: too like both of you or?..

maxverstappen1: yes, tell your brother in law that you love him

landonorris: okay first, you’re not my brother in law, second, i don’t feel very comfortable right now

yourusername: say it with me lando, “i loveee youuu”

landonorris: guys…

yourusername: SAY IT

maxverstappen: CMON LANDO SAY IT

yourusername: SAY IT

yourusername: SAY IT

landonorris: OK I LOVE YOU GUYS

user6: is this the peer pressure my school always warned me about?

user7: no…that was just, sad.

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri, and 761,018 others!

yourusername: THATS MY FOUR TIME WORLD CHAMPION!!! THIS IS FOR ALL THE BUMS WHO SAID HE WAS NOTHING BUT A PRETTY MAN IN A FAST CAR, NOW WHAT????? NOBODY COMPARES TO MAX FUCKING VERSTAPPEN. AND YOU ALL BETTER REMEMBER THAT.

view comments below!

user8: now it’s time to hit the club

yourusername: i’ll be crying in the club, thank you very much

user9: crying for lando, partying for max, it’s perfect

user10: you are the perfect amount of supportive to both lando and max

maxverstappen1: ik houd van je 💙

yourusername: @/landonorris

landonorris: i don’t speak dutch??

yourusername: he just told me he loved me loser

landonorris: o-kay?

yourusername: gosh you are so emotionally unintelligent, it makes me sick

landonorris: i just lost the world championship please be kind to me

yourusername: im your sister which basically means i lost the championship too, yet i still tell you i love you?

landonorris: THATS NOT HOW THAT WORKS

yourusername: I LOVE YOU LANDO

landonorris: LEAVE ME ALONE

maxverstappen1: we should get married in vegas

yourusername: oh my god, yes. but no elvis because he freaks me out

maxverstappen1: CHARLES SHOULD MARRY US

charles_leclerc: guys…i would be honored

yourusername: i don’t know max, i have a feeling you’ll run away with him and leave me at the alter

maxverstappen1: yeah…that probably will happen 😔, it’s okay, lando can marry us!!!

landonorris: what the fuck is today

[sturnblue]

𐙚 — mini pizzas.

chris sturniolo :: reader

you and chris tried to cook mini pizzas but things didn't turn out as expected when you both got a little distracted.

warnings! fluff (kind of). kissing. making out. petnames.

"i don't know, baby, this sounds too hard f'me." chris said, reading the recipe over your shoulder. "oh, c'mon. we can do it, right?" he raised his eyebrows at you. "what? you were the one who came up with the idea, remember?" you added, watching his quiet reaction.

"yeah, i just didn't think you were actually buying it." you started to move around your chicken, searching for the ingredients. chris hopped up onto the counter, watching you.

the triplets had invited a few friends over tonight, and nick nicely asked if you could cook something for everyone—knowing how good you were in the kitchen.

you liked cooking, and honestly, some homemade food would do these boys some good. all they eat is junk food, so you agreed.

chris suggested mini pizzas—which wasn’t exactly a shock. but you liked the idea. who doesn't like mini pizzas? now here you were, trying to cook them, with your boyfriend's help.

"damn, you look so sexy when you're all focused like that." you chuckled, putting everything on the counter next to where chris was sitting.

he grabbed your arm and pulled you closer. "i could just take you right here on this counter." you laughed, resting your hands on his chest. "you don't want to ruin the mini pizzas, do you?"

"why don't we just buy it? it would be so much easier." you quickly kissed his lips and made your way back to your ingredients. "you know it's not the same thing, baby. now, will you help me or not?"

"only if you give me another kiss." he teasingly smiled at you, making you chuckle. "i'm starting to think i should've asked matt or nick for help instead." you teased back.

"yeah, if you want your kitchen burned down." he said scoffing. "believe me, those kids are way worse than me."

you giggle and he quickly pulled you into his arms again, making you gasp. "one more kiss." his bright blue eyes hard to resist. "okay, but i really gotta focus, or else it won't be ready in time."

the kitchen was a mess—flour and sauce everywhere. you had just put the tray in the oven and were almost done.

chris kept playfully teasing you the entire time. some stolen kisses here, and sneaking extra cheese into his mouth there, making it nearly impossible to stay focused.

"god, you're a mess." he chuckled, hugging you from behind. you turned to face him. "that's your fault. you were the one who dropped the flour all over the place." he laughed, remembering the blurry white mess and how you gazed at him—furiously—but it didn't take long for you to burst into laughter.

"oh c'mon, it's way funnier to cook when i'm with you." you scoffed, shooking your head. "yeah, and don't forget chaotic."

he wrapped his hands on your waist, effortlessly lifting you onto the counter. you let out a sharp breath, caught off guard. "chris, what—" chris brushed his fingers across your cheek. "flour." he soft smiled at you, showing his thumb, covered in white.

"god, we need to clean this place." you felt his hands slide from your waist to your thighs. "relax, sweetheart. this mess isn't going anywhere." he leaned in, brushing his lips on your cheek.

"but—" it didn't take long before his lips found yours, starting a soft, lingering kiss. he didn't deepen the kiss at first, but didn't pull back either, like he was waiting to see if you would. but you didn't.

you kissed him back, more intensely now. he could feel the taste of flour and sauce in your mouth, and you felt the cheese in his. you giggled against his lips. "what?" he asked smiling, a hint of curiosity in his voice.

"we're tasting like pizza." he chuckled. "lucky you, i love pizza." he murmured and sealed his lips on yours again.

the kiss quickly turned into something intense, deep again. your tongues familiarly moving in sinc together. his hands running to grab your ass and your legs automatically wrapping around his waist, pulling him closer.

"i meant it when i said i could take you right here." his lips moved down to your neck, slightly marking your skin. "if you do it, i will have flour in my ass for the rest of my life." he chuckled against your skin.

"we should go to your room then." he murmured, voice hoarse, pressing his hips against yours. "skip dinner, what you think?" you lowly moaned, feeling his hardness against your clothed body.

"chris—" his hands teased the waistband of your shirt, making you shiver. neither of you cared how messy you both were—and chris wanted to leave you even worse.

he took your shirt off, throwing it somewhere on the floor. "you're so beautiful." he whispered in your ear and you tangled your fingers in his hair.

his hands roamed over your body. he could get lost just from feeling your bare skin against his palms, so warm, so smooth.

"i fuckin' need you." he groaned when you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him tighter against your lips. "please, ma."

you loved seeing him so desperate for you, going completely insane just to touch you, to feel you. the way he was addicted to every inch of you had you soaked.

you murmured against his mouth, sharing the same feelings as him—you were desperate for chris. nothing else in your mind besides the man tangled with you, and how every touch of his body sent jolts of excitement and pleasure through you.

his hands gripped your ass tightly, making you arch against him, while his lips were feverishly kissing your neck again. you gasped, feeling his tongue on you.

"so much better than any pizza in the world." he joked and you weakly chuckled, more worried about feeling his lips on your skin again. it was when you suddenly remembered.

your eyes widened and you quickly pushed chris off you, making your way to the oven. "holy shit, chris!" smoke filled your kitchen when you opened it. chris started trying to wave the smoke away with a dish towel. the mini pizzas were ruined.

"fuck." you sighed in frustration. "what am i going to do now?" chris wrapped his arms around you from behind. "it's okay, baby. we can order some food, no problems, alright?"

you weakly chuckled and he smiled in relief, head resting on your shoulder. "i can't believe this happened. it's your fault."

"mine? i didn't do anything wrong!" chris raised his brows, acting all innocent. "you were distracting me!" you turned around to face him.

"oh sweetheart, you can't pretend you weren't loving it." he kissed your forehead. "you're unbelievable." you rolled your eyes, chuckling. "but you're telling them what happened, okay?" you added.

"anything for you, pretty." he said, grabbing you by the waist. "now, where were we?" a playful smirk crept into his lips, his eyes roamed over your body, and he lifted you onto the counter again. he had that look on his face—you knew you wouldn't be able to resist it.

© sturnblue.

english is not my first language!

author's note :: not sure how i feel about this but yesterday i had a dream i was eating mini pizzas and all i could think about was chris help

[icycoldninja]

Dante x Reader who is always comforted by Dante when they’re sad or distressed somehow but they also insist on comforting him because they see through his happy mask.

Aw yeah

Dante x Reader comfort headcannons

-Dante knows what it's like to be in the depths of despair and borderline suicidal. He understands the pain of self-loathing and remembers a time when he felt resentful towards the world.

-These memories are why he does everything in his power to make sure you never fall into the same darkness he did.

-Whenever you're even the least bit sad, he'll hurry to your side, ask you what's wrong and see if there's anything he can do to help, and then promptly gets to work fixing the issue.

-If the issue happens to be a person bothering you, you'll find that the person in question no longer wishes to have anything to do with you and visibly trembles when you approach them.

-He holds you when you're feeling emotional, rubs your back when you're stressed, and most importantly, gives you virtually endless cuddles whenever you're feeling anxious or generally distressed about anything.

-He knows how to make you laugh like no one else can, because he is naturally that goofy.

-Tickle ambushes are often initiated whenever you have a pout or a frown on your face.

-However, despite how much energy and humor Dante brings to the table, he, too, has his off days. There are times when he's feeling lower than usual, and when those times come, he tries to hide it by being funnier and goofier than usual.

-You can see through his attempts to appear cheerful and worry-free, and he knows it. When you start asking questions, he does his best to lie directly to your face, not realizing it just makes him seem to be doing worse than he really is.

-You try to lighten his mood, but you're not as good at comforting others as he is, and sometimes your jokes, especially self-deprecating ones, fall flat.

-You know that the more eccentric he's acting, the more upset he is on the inside, which is why you usually pounce on him with lots of hugs once he starts behaving in this way.

-He doesn't want you to do this—he appreciates that you care for him, but he knows you have problems of your own and doesn't want to weigh you down with his emotional baggage.

-Nevertheless, you are determined to make him as happy and comforted as he's made you, and brush off his attempts to push you away with a persistence only you could dare to have around him.

-Pizza parties with just the two of you are always guaranteed to cheer him up, and splitting a bottle of wine or a can of beer afterwards isn't a bad idea.

-Sometimes you'll find Dante in a particularly vulnerable mood where he actually shares how he's feeling, and while it's sweet that he trusts you enough to tell you these things, it also means something is bothering him a lot and he really needs your help.

-There are times when whatever was bothering the two of you causes you to snap at each other and sometimes yourselves, but at the end of the day, you're always there for one another, ready to cuddle or maybe just listen to whatever you need to get off your chests.

[imsofuckingscaredofskeleons]

just finished cinderella's castle and i have at least one million things to say

overall i LOVED it. i don't agree with a lot of the hate it's receiving. i will say that prince charming had a couple of jokes that made me laugh here and there but the constant sex jokes got annoying.

HOWEVER i do NOT agree with the general opinion that this show is worse than the other starkid shows simply because of its humor. although i love starkid humor, it was really refreshing to see a work from them that contained humor but was not centered around being a comedy. i think it shows another side of what starkid is capable of. i know that their reputation is almost entirely built upon their unique comedy, starkid is not the same as it was when it first started. its grown much further and gained much more talent, skill, and funding that allows for different creative pathways. i think people too often expect for starkid to release comedy gold after comedy gold, and for each show to be funnier and more 'starkid-esque' than the last. i personally didn't go in with the expectation that this would be a highly comedic show, which is maybe why i didn't mind that it wasn't all that funny. i do see what people are saying about the humor maybe falling flat as a whole, though. most of the humor was just sex jokes, and there are other times when you can tell they were trying to be funny but even the live audience didn't give much reaction. even so, i much much MUCH prefer this show being more serious and dramatic with bits of humor than the other way around!

as for the story itself, i really liked it! i do think that it's a bit rushed at points, but it didn't take much away from the show for me personally.

one tiny (and highly controversial opinion, i know) is that i just wish jeff blim sang more in his range. that's not to say i despise his falsettos! i just wish he didn't rely so heavily on them because he's shown in the past how good his singing skills are and i'd really like to see him dip into his natural range more and just incorporate the falsetto rather than rely on it.

also was really hoping ella and tadius would get married at the end of the show :( but i suppose i can headcanon it until my brain just excepts it as canon. on the note of tadius, curt did AMAZING!! honestly all of the actors did such a fantastic job. angela was beyond crazy good at the evil role. kim whalen made that singing look so natural and effortless. bryce was of course killing it vocally the entire time. it was really nice to see bryce who is so beyond talented get to play the lead role!! the score was a bit odd to me but i dont hate it, and the mixture of classical and contemporary choreo, especially during the ball, was really nice! i think one of my favorite parts about the performances was all of the accents, they were terrific and just scratched my brain every time

my BIGGEST outake from the show was the sets. like oh my god it was so beyond gorgeous. when the tree came down??? amazing. and it was so refreshing considering the hatchetfield shows don't use many props or set pieces (which is great for those shows!! it's apart of what makes them hatchetfield shows rather than just any other starkid shows) so this felt like the first time really seeing starkid lean into the whole set and prop thing. and the PUPPETS??? so fucking spectacular. and beyond that, the puppeteer work was out of this world. i loved that you could still see the actors behind the puppets. angela's movements with the puppets along with her still evil performance inside the puppet was amazing. and jon and joey KILLED IT with their physicality and facial expressions, i'm so happy they were dressed up and obvious behind the puppets. their outfits, especially the long braid wig and the bowl cut added so much to the characters and the performance. in fact, all of the outfits in the show were so so so good, i especially loved tadius and sir-hop-a-lot's outfits. i also liked how the evil sister's outfits looked like rapunzel and belle's outfits, both the dresses and the wigs. it was a really nice but subtle touch!

so overall this was one of my favorite starkid shows. although it had its flaws, i think it got wayyy too much hate. it was ambitious and it was so refreshing to see starkid try something out of their usual comedies, and to put more into the sets, props, and outfits. a solid 8/10 for me!

[weneeya]

Hi love I hope you're doing well <3 can I ask for a Kageyama hurt to comfort :(

-mia

(Yes I could just ask you straight but its funnier that way)

miscommunication m.list | rules

pairing. kageyama x reader

note. hiii took some time but I'm here love <3 feel free to request anyway!

Any form of communication had always been difficult for Kageyama Tobio, and for a simple reason : the boy never learnt how to do it. He had always been alone or when he tried to do something, it was always a failure ; simply look at his years before highschool. 

So when it came to his own feelings, it was probably worse than anything else. Tobio was never sure about how he felt because everything was messed up inside of him. And with his communication problem, it was making things even less easy in the end. 

When you arrived, you made everything even more complicated for him. He was in first year and it was the same for you. You were both in the same class and, seeing his difficulties with his studies, you proposed to help him. He hesitated for a bit but after Daichi threatened him about the training, Kageyama came back to you to accept your offer. 

At first, it was simply about studying. You wanted to help him and he needed that help more than anyone else. But after a few times, both of you realized that you wanted to spend more time with each other, and not only to work. It was a bit blurry in his head but for you, it was crystal clear ; he was softer than everyone else said he was. 

When Tobio spoke about it to Nishinoya and Tanaka, who were for him the most informed about girls, they almost jumped on him. It was the perfect opportunity ; they were sure that you loved their little Kageyama and it was also sure that he loved you back. But when they told him about it, the setter freaked out. He almost ran away from the gym, as he needed a moment for himself. 

Him? In love? No, it couldn’t be that. He had never felt anything like this towards anyone, so why now? He didn’t have time for this. He needed to train to be a better setter so Hinata could be better too. It was impossible. 

After the “incident” with his senpais, Tobio started to become more distant with you. Saying that he didn’t have time to hang out, or even to study anymore. You weren’t stupid though, and you clearly understood that he was avoiding you. It hurted, you had to admit it. Because you thought that you weren’t the only one with those feelings, but now you weren’t sure about anything anymore. 

Day after day, week after week, you and Kageyama were only seeing each other during class, when he dared even look in your direction. You were an overthinker, and you thought that maybe you had done something wrong, something which hurted him. This is why you decided that you needed to talk to him, even if he didn’t want to. 

He was on his way to the gym for his daily training when you stopped him, in front of the building. He looked at you for a moment before trying to pass next to you without saying anything. But you moved to be in front of him once again. 

“Kageyaman, can we talk? Please?” Your tone was almost pleading, and he had to look away for a minute. He cleared his throat before nodding so slightly that you almost didn’t notice it. You straightened your back, taking a deep breath before speaking. 

“I’m sorry if I did anything which hurted you. It wasn’t my goal, and maybe I’ve been too much for you. So I wanted to say that I’m sorry. It's just that-'' You cutted yourself mid-sentence because of the tears which were threatening to fall from your eyes. You hated yourself for being like this but it was too much, you just wanted things to go better between you two. 

When Tobio realized that you were on the verge of tears, he realized that he had been acting like an idiot the whole time. You weren’t the one who hurted him, it was him all along. He started to panic, because he didn’t know how to react otherwise. He came closer to you, hesitating for a while before grabbing both your hands with his. 

“No, no..! Don’t cry, please! I’m so sorry!” He was so bad with his feelings, so he didn’t know what he should be doing right now. You looked back into his eyes, your own eyes being a bit swollen because of the tears. He quickly looked away when he met your gaze, a slight blush over his cheeks because of the embarrassment. 

“I should be the one apologizing… I messed up, because I was scared,” he started to say, still not looking at you. “Scared because I think I like you…” His voice was lower than usual, and he almost hoped that you didn’t hear and you wouldn’t ask him to repeat. 

You blinked a few times, not sure about what you just heard from him. So you were wrong all along? Well, you couldn’t blame yourself, he was sending mixed messages. But if he said it, you were sure that he wasn’t lying, because Tobio was so bad at lying. You wiped your tears, and a soft smile appeared on your lips. 

“I like you too, Kageyama,” you said, and he finally looked back into your eyes. He cleared his throat before pointing at the building behind you. 

“I need to go, we can-” he wanted to say, but you stopped him with a kiss on his cheek. “Yes, we can talk about it after.” You waved at him, and left without saying anything more. He stayed here for a moment, trying to process what happened, before half of his team jumped on him, running from the door. 

Of course they listened to everything, and they were obviously going to make fun of the poor Kageyama for a long time. But at least, things were better with you and it was the most important in the end. Maybe he was bad with communication, but you were going to help him with that.

aaaa I hope you like it!! it was so fun to write, I love my boy sm omg

[elainsgirl]

the gwynriels that ship gwynriel not just for vibes but because they insist it is canon are in for a harsh awakening. We've known for years that elains book is being written and is next and Azriel is such an obvious love interest elriel have checked off most key aspects of a romantasy couple in the making (we even have a romantic rescue scene where the male li risks his life for her). But it seems many new readers who focus only on their selective reading of acosf took over the fandom in 2021 and started gaslighting everyone that gwynriel is real and elriel was never a thing. I'm an artist who used to make acotar content but the arrogance of especially these new readers is infuriating and has made me stop making any content for this fandom.

I used to feel bad that all these people will probably be very upset when elain and azriel are confirmed to be next. But i dont anymore. They did it to themselves. Four wasted years arguing over what was already obvious in front of their eyes. They have soured the fandom for everyone else. They have stubbornly and publically thrown a four year long tantrum with their eyes and ears covered, while yelling at everyone that their fanon is real and everyone else is delusional. It's so embarrassing i cringe to think about it. It will age worse than sour milk.

You know what I think it is? Between 2021 and 2024 - booktok popularised the “enemies to lovers” trope - 8/10 all the books being advertised, had that trope. As well as E&L, banter became really hyped up - when authors wanted to promote their book, you’ll notice they will almost always use banter scenes as that is what piqued readers interest. Along w this, other tropes such as the “sassy, badass fmc” “warrior fmc” “girlboss fmc” became popular and in demand by readers. Many antis jumped onto this train, probably consumed lots of books with these tropes therefore its reflected onto Gwynriel and Elucien as ships.

We’ve all seen their HCs, Lucien will bring out the “sass” and “fire” in Elain. Gwyn will be a badass and run her mouth off on Az which he will like etc. Both ships are filled with HCs that booktok popularised. I’ve said this so many times before - but I always think of elucien and gwynriel as lumps of warm clay. You can mold them to be whatever you want. Whatever dynamic, trope, story etc that intrigues you because they’re just not developed. They have no outline, no set dynamic that you’ll get with a canon, foreshadowed ship such as elriel. Antis have motives for shipping their ships, elriels don’t and thats another difference. Antis motives’ and biased lenses lead to them to different outcomes - 4 years later and still as a whole group, none of them are consistent with anything. Literally, can’t even decide- is it elucien next or gwynriel?. With elriels, we’ve all read the books as they should be read and came to the same conclusion. Hence why, elriels are more consistent with everything they put out.

Its so hilarious when newcomers or casual readers are so suprised to hear about Gwynriel. I mean, I thought it was some booktok cult at first- had no idea it was an actual ship. I think its funnier when gwynriels act so superior and list all the foreshadowing & “scenesl” they have only to be proven wrong by canon. Take Az rescuing Gwyn, the whole thing was romantacised. He carried Gwyn in his arms all the way to the library…when actually that was Mor. Az had left Gwyn to finish his job.

I dont have it in me to feel bad. Cause it was literally “in your face obvious” all along and as someone who was there from 2021, Gwynriel started due to Elain hate and Elucien’s main arguement for so long has always been about Elain needing to make Lucien happy as he deserves it. Yeah I can’t count the amount of times antis have given me second hand embarrassment. Some are ok. Others are just immature and entitled. I agree, the fandom increased in toxicity due to the shipwars which started because of Gwynriels/Eluciens. And not saying elriels are innocent, every side has bad stans but some antis have made the fandom unbearable. Seems like they crash out whenever Sjm posts something, they then get over it and crash out again. Its a tiring yet amusing cycle to watch from afar. I think when the announcement comes there will be silence at first from the antis before the new delusional takes begin.

[bikananjarrus]

kanera week 2024 - day 4

prompt: outside pov

rating: teen | word count: 3.3k | ao3 link

[note: apologies for the belated posting, this got much longer than anticipated. again lol. but this was SO much fun to write! it is absolutely silly and ridiculous but i made myself laugh writing ghost crew shenanigans and that's really all that matters!]

~

Zeb thought it was cute, really, Kanan and Hera trying to hide their relationship from him, when he could smell their intermingled scents almost from the second he stepped aboard the Ghost.

And it wasn’t the smell of two people, separate, but sharing the same ship for an extended period of time. No, their scents were so intertwined that it was sometimes hard to tell who walked in a room if he wasn’t looking. It was worse with Kanan; Hera’s scent clung to Kanan’s hair like mynocks to the underbelly of a ship.

He willingly admitted to it being almost immediately that he noticed. But he would also argue that the only reason he didn’t notice even sooner was because of the chaos and adrenaline of Kanan rescuing him; and then recruiting him; followed by days of claustrophobic fear even considering staying in one place long enough to call it safe—much less a home—no matter how short the actual stay, because his last home was gone, and he hadn’t been able to protect it, and— Well. It had been a lot, okay?

So it had taken three or four days into joining their little crew for him to notice that they were, in fact, together.

He was helped along by the stench of sex in the air the morning he figured it out (which they’d both pretended way too hard that it hadn’t happened right under his nose. Or within range of his Lasat hearing.) But that was beside the point.

The point was—that he knew. And he was grappling with himself, trying to decide if he should put them out of their misery of sneaking around and just tell them that he knew. Or if he should wait and see how long they would try to keep up the charade until he caught them red-handed doing something they couldn’t deny.

He didn’t really think they were trying to keep it a secret, per se. More that they (mostly Hera) were trying to maintain a professional facade. Which Zeb respected.

He just wasn’t sure how long respect would win out against the desire to stop hearing them through the Ghost’s walls anymore. He wasn’t exactly known for being the most patient being in the galaxy. And the least they could do was make up some lie to get him off the ship once in a while if they wanted to be alone.

As it turned out, four months was his limit.

Admittedly, he’d thought about caving a month in. Then two. Once it hit the three-month mark, it started to get funnier, watching the two of them scramble to keep their relationship as covert as they could. Then the amusement wore off and Zeb was just ready for them to stop pretending around him.

The opportunity to talk to them came one early morning when he trudged into the mess. He’d been moving slow, still waking up. But not so slow he didn’t see the way Kanan and Hera yanked away from the light kiss they’d been sharing.

Hera did a better job at appearing casual, leaning against the counter and grabbing her mug of caf to sip at. Kanan, blushing furiously, was hopelessly trying to make himself look busy.

Pouring himself a cup of caf, Zeb sat down heavily in the little dining booth opposite them. Groggily, he mumbled, “You know I know you two’re together, right?”

They both blinked at him. To his sleep-hazy brain, it was only slightly creepy how attuned to each other they were.

Then, with a dramatic exhale, Kanan said, “Oh, thank the Force.”

Hera poked Kanan in the side, muttering, “I told you he knew.”

“Well, he didn’t say anything, how was I to know.” Then Kanan turned to him. “How long have you known, anyway?”

Zeb took another gulp of caf. “Pretty much since I stepped on board. Could smell it on ya both.”

Kanan frowned. “Smell it?”

Hera just gave Zeb an understanding look, then pinched Kanan’s cheek playfully. “Poor human senses.” Then, to Zeb, she added, “Here I was thinking that Chopper spilled the beans to you.”

Now it was Zeb’s turn to blink. “You think I know what that rust bucket’s sayin’?” He swallowed down the rest of his caf, getting up with a stretch. “Just…try ‘nd let me know in advance if y’two wanna have sex. The Ghost’s walls’re thick, but they ain’t that thick.”

They both flushed at that—Kanan a rosy pink and Hera a darker shade of green.

Kanan rubbed a hand across the back of his neck. “Sorry about that. We tried to keep quiet.”

“It’s alright,” Zeb replied. “For the record, you were quiet. But, y’know.” He pointed a clawed finger at his ears.

“Right.”

Zeb dismissed himself to finish getting ready for the day. On his way out, he caught Kanan looping an arm around Hera’s waist, pulling her close again. Their quiet laughter followed him into the hall.

He fondly shook his head. Yeah, they were cute or something.

::

When Sabine joined the crew a year later, Zeb was so used to Hera and Kanan by then that he didn’t even think about Sabine finding out, much less telling her.

Not that there was a lot of opportunity to have that kind of conversation with her anyway, when she first came on board, because—well. Sabine wasn’t much of a conversationalist. Especially not in those first few months. She communicated with them all when it was necessary for missions and the occasional small talk. Otherwise, she was more of a listener and a quiet observer. And that was when she was hanging around them at all; most of the time she was hidden away in her bunk.

But she was good in a firefight and a hard worker. And now that she had a safe bed to return to, she didn’t seem intent on leaving anytime soon. So, if she didn’t feel like talking much? That was just fine.

Zeb knew the girl had been through a lot. And something bad. He and Hera and Kanan could tell that just by looking at her. Not to mention the way Kanan and Hera had found her—alone and bleeding from a grievous injury in some back alley in the pouring rain.

And positively filled to the brim with anger and hurt.

They still didn’t really know any details about what had happened to her. Zeb could relate; he hadn’t wanted to talk about Lasan at all afterwards. But he knew time and patience helped. She would—hopefully—open up eventually.

Kanan had definitely managed to reach her the most. It had been Kanan who’d gotten through to her in that alley, convincing her that they were trustworthy enough to help her. And Kanan was persistent—trying to get her to crack a smile, complimenting her when she executed a particularly brilliant set of explosives, buying her a set of paints when he caught her doodling with a half dry marker one day.

She started warming up to Zeb, too. Being paired off on missions helped, and she enjoyed poking fun at him. He let her, and he didn’t mind. Seeing color return to her cheeks and a spark enter back into her eyes was worth it for a little laughter at his expense.

Only Hera was having a tough time getting through to her, and Zeb was pretty sure it had less to do with Hera herself, and rather some underlying issues on Sabine’s part.

So. All this to say—Zeb hadn’t gotten a lot of opportunities for casual conversation with her. Wondering if she knew about Kanan and Hera didn’t even cross his mind until it was right there in front of him.

He and Sabine were playing sabacc in the common area one afternoon, about six months after Sabine had joined the crew.

Hera and Kanan passed through, chattering quietly. Stopping at the ladder Kanan pressed a quick kiss to Hera’s lips.

With a soft smile, she uttered a low, be careful, and then they were separating—her down to the engine room, and Kanan up to the Phantom to head out on a quick supply run with Chopper.

Zeb observed the whole interaction out of the corner of his eye. Sabine barely looked up from her cards.

“So, um.” Zeb cleared his throat. He was pretty sure that if Kanan and Hera didn’t want Sabine to know about them, they wouldn’t have kissed so blatantly in public. But then again, they hadn’t ever mentioned to him that they’d told her. And he hadn’t said anything.

Sabine’s lack of reaction was throwing him more than anything.  

Not that it was some huge forbidden secret. He didn’t think. But the way Hera and Kanan had snuck around when he first joined up with them flashed through his mind, and he was suddenly questioning—well. Everything.

“Did you, uh,” he tried again. “Kanan and Hera, I mean.”

Sabine picked a card up from the pile in the center. “That wasn’t a full sentence.”

“Well, what I meant was—”

“If you’re trying to ask me if I saw what just happened with Kanan and Hera, well the answer would be no because my back was turned. But I know what it sounds like when two people kiss. So, yes.”

Zeb blinked. “You don’t seem surprised by it.”

“Should I be?”

“S’pose not. I wasn’t.” He examined his cards. “How’d you find out anyway?”

She shrugged. “Kanan told me.”

“Now that’s just not fair,” Zeb grumbled. “They didn’t tell me a thing! I finally had to tell ‘em that I knew the whole time.”

She gave a short, little laugh. “I mean, I’d figured it out before he told me, because he is not subtle at all. He’s always staring at Hera with a dopey look on his face.” She rolled her eyes, but it was more affectionate than anything. “Remember when he brought me those paints?”

Zeb nodded. That had been about three months ago now, after Kanan had noticed her doodling. She hadn’t said much beyond an awed thank you; but Zeb had remembered the way she practically glowed with gratitude when Kanan had given her the paints and told her that Hera said it was okay for her to paint whatever she liked in her bunk.

Sabine smiled at the memory now. “We hung out and talked for a while that day. Well—he talked. I listened, mostly, while I started painting. I don’t think he meant to, but he let it slip about him and Hera, and once he started talking about her, he just kept rambling for a bit.” She shook her head like it wasn’t that big of a deal, but he could see it had meant a lot to her. “So, yeah. I knew.”

“Good.” Zeb blew out a breath. “That’s—good.”

Her nose scrunched up and she looked up at him. “They’re just so—”

“Disgustingly affectionate?”

She laughed louder this time, and it felt like a victory. “Exactly. It’s…cute, I guess.”

They were certainly that.

Zeb was just happy to be poking fun at them with Sabine, and even more glad they could all joke with each other. It was starting to feel an awful lot like family.

::

It was after Ezra joined the crew that things started to get really fun.

Ezra had been with them for maybe two weeks when they were all relaxing in the common area together between jobs. Hera and Kanan were seated, fairly close, in the booth around the dejarik table, not acting particularly outside the norm. Kanan had an arm thrown around the back of the booth, and occasionally his fingers would brush across Hera’s shoulder, or down the side of one lek. She usually tossed him a Careful, there, look when that happened, and Kanan’s mouth would quirk up in a trouble-making smirk, eyes alight.

Zeb nearly rolled his own eyes. They were so disgustingly affectionate sometimes, it made it hard to be around them and not be at least mildly annoyed. Or envious of what they had. Yeah, mostly that one, probably.

Ezra sat on the opposite end of the booth from Kanan and Hera. He was half playing dejarik with Kanan, half chatting with Hera about who she’d bet on in the podrace taking place on Malistare next month (if she was the sort of person who would actually put money to betting on races, that is), and completely oblivious to the couple flirting through touch alone across from him.

Zeb leaned back in his wooden armchair, watching the scene unfold with amusement.

He might have suspected the Ezra knew about Kanan and Hera. If it hadn’t been for Ezra’s exasperated, “Kanan. Pay attention! It’s your turn.”

“Sorry, kid.”

Zeb caught Hera nudging Kanan’s knee under the table with her own as he turned back to the game. Ezra stared at him intently, waiting for Kanan’s next move.

Yeah—the newest addition to their crew had no clue that his Jedi Master’s thoughts were more focused on the woman beside him than the holochess game in front of him.

Zeb leaned down towards Sabine, who was on the floor, repainting her shin armor. “Psst.”

Sabine’s eyes flicked up, but she didn’t stray from her hunched over position. She gave him a look like, What?

Zeb crooked a finger at her to come closer.

With a roll of her eyes, Sabine unfolded herself and stood next to his chair. He leaned close, keeping his voice low for only her to hear, “Hey, how long until ya think the kid figures it out?”

He tipped his head in the direction of Kanan and Hera. Sabine followed his gaze, assessing the scene surrounding the dejarik table. After a moment, she smiled conspiratorially.

“Oh, if he hasn’t figured it out yet, I give it at least three months,” she whispered.

“I was gonna say four.”

“You want to put a few credits to it?”

Zeb grinned sharply. “You know it.”

Instead of the much-to-obvious handshake in present company, Sabine bumped her fist against his. It was a deal.

::

It took six months (six!)for Ezra to figure it out.

Zeb won the bet by default, since he’d guessed the longer timeline. But he wasn’t sure that was really fair, since Ezra didn’t even figure it out on his own.

Ezra came barreling into the mess one morning while Zeb was still drinking his wake-up caf, out of breath, and asked, “Have you seen Kanan?”

His ears perked up a bit at that. “No. Why?”

“He’s late for Jedi training,” Ezra said in a tone of voice like it should’ve been obvious to Zeb. And normally it might’ve been. But he was still waking up—hence the wake-up caf. “I checked his bunk and he wasn’t there. Then I looked in the cockpit and the engine room and then all the store rooms and nothing! He didn’t go into town on his own, right?”

“No, nothin’ like that,” Zeb said. Hera and Kanan would’ve told them all if that was the case. “Come on, I’ll help you look.”

They found Kanan quick.

He was trailing behind Ezra as they turned the corridor towards all the bunks when Hera’s cabin door slid open and Kanan nearly stumbled into the hall. His undershirt was untucked, only one arm shoved through one sleeve of a dark blue sweater. His hair was down and mussed; from just last night, or also this morning, it was hard to tell.

What was blatantly obvious is that Kanan had not spent the night in his own bunk.

Eyes wide, Kanan caught sight of Ezra first, then Zeb, his expression one Zeb could only describe as a plea for help. Zeb nearly broke then and there.

Especially when the next comment out of Ezra’s mouth was, “Hey—wait, why are you coming out of Hera’s cabin?

“Well, I—”

“Never mind, it doesn’t matter. You’re late for Jedi training, come on!”

Then Ezra was off, shoving past Zeb and dashing back the way they’d come. Kanan looked at Zeb helplessly, blushing as he tucked his shirt in and finished pulling on his sweater.

Zeb chuckled, clapping Kanan on the shoulder as he trailed after his padawan. “Good luck, mate.”

::

Everything came to a head later, while they were en route to Garel for supplies. Zeb was in the cockpit with Sabine and Hera—who was piloting, of course. Kanan was finishing up their list of necessities in one of the storerooms with Chopper and Ezra was tucked back in the Phantom.

At one point, Kanan’s voice had called Ezra over the ship-wide comms, asking Ezra for a rundown of what needed to be restocked on the Phantom.

They were still on the ship-wide comms when Ezra asked, “So, what were you doing in Hera’s cabin this morning?”

Sabine jerked around in the copilot’s seat to look at him, her eyes comically wide. He knew he wore a similar expression.

Simultaneously, they both shifted their gaze to Hera. She continued to fly steadily, but from this angle, Zeb could see the slight way her lekku stiffened in embarrassment, a slight flush coloring high in her cheeks. Catching Sabine’s gaze, Hera just shrugged one shoulder. “What. It’s nothing you two aren’t already aware of.”

“Umm…” came Kanan’s voice over the comms.

Zeb could so easily picture him rubbing the back of his neck, trying to decide how to tell Ezra in a way that was more appropriate than, Yeah I was late to training this morning because Hera and I were having passionate sex deep into the hours of the night.

Zeb leaned forward in his seat. “Should we tell ‘em they’re on the whole ship’s comms?”

Sabine gave him a look.

But it was Hera who raised an eyebrow and scoffed, “Are you kidding?” A sly grin. “I want to see who caves first.”

So, they waited, listening.

Finally, from Kanan, “We’re partners.”

“Well, duh, you’re partners. What does that have to do with you being in her room?”

“No, I mean we were together.”

“Together?” A lengthy pause. Briefly Zeb wondered how Kanan was managing to keep Chopper from chiming in through all this. “Like…did you have a private briefing with Fulcrum this morning or something?”

“No, kid. I—” Kanan cut off, and Zeb knew he was grinding a fist against his forehead in frustration. “I mean, we are together. Like, together. Intimately, as a couple, you know.”

There was a full minute of silence. He was slightly worried either Kanan or Ezra had finally shut off the ship-wide comms, and they wouldn’t get to hear how Kanan’s misery ended.

Then, “WAIT. You’re together together? Since when?”

“The whole time you’ve known us, but thanks for noticing, kid.”

“Hold on—do Sabine and Zeb know?”

With that, Zeb couldn’t hold it in any longer. He guffawed—loudly. Sabine was bent over in her chair with laughter. Smiling broadly, Hera flipped the switch on the cockpit’s comm, so their laughter echoed through the ship for Kanan and Ezra to hear.

There were groans from Kanan’s end, exasperated yelling from Ezra, warbles from Chopper as he finally chipped in.

Moments later, Ezra was bursting into the cockpit, pointing between Zeb and Sabine. “I can’t believe you guys didn’t tell me!”

Sabine exchanged a look with Zeb, and he replied, “Well, we were kinda waitin’ for you to figure it out on your own.”

Ezra continued to grumble as Chopper wheeled in, a blushing Kanan trailing behind to take the seat behind Hera. He squeezed her shoulder, and she reached back for his hand.

“Well done, love,” she teased.

“Love,” Ezra muttered, folding his arms as he leaned against Zeb’s chair. “Unbelievable.”

That sent them all into fresh peals of laughter.

Looking at Kanan and Hera’s linked hands, Zeb had never been more grateful to them for bringing their little family together.

[end]

(p.s. everyone pray for ezra's poor 15 year old braincells 🙏 he's not dumb, just a little unobservant sometimes. happens to the best of us <3)

[archivalofsins]

Loving this line for Kazui, "I warned them many times. Many, many, many, many, many times! You should have stopped it! You, of all people!"

This is made twenty times funnier by me always switching Kazui and Amane's numbers in my head because now I get to do this-

Hey, why the fuck is the only person torn up about what occurred the child that everyone blamed for it while the guy who's lived there for years is like,

"What went wrong, I wonder?"

Like bro I just wrote a post about all the things you knew could have gone wrong that you could have warned us about. Kazui for the love of god please sir? Please- this shouldn't be that funny accidental three D's success.

Rare win for dyscalculia.

Because bro you warned us of many things. Which one? Like specifically in his second voice drama he warned us about Mikoto and Kotoko. This could also be alluding to this conversation he had with Yuno which would be the vaguest way to warn someone ever mind you-

23/09/02 (Yuno’s Birthday)

Kazui: I heard you’ve been helping Shidou-kun out. ……er, sorry if this comes across as rude, but it’s kind of unexpected. It always seemed like you didn’t care that much about other people.

Yuno: Hmm? What’s with that all of a sudden. I mean, you’re right, I don’t care much. But if there’s someone dying in front of you anyone would do what they could to help, right? And anyway, aren’t you the same? You usually don’t care much either, right?

Kazui: ……I wonder. This old man isn’t as much of a thinker as you are. I mean, until now I’ve been in an environment where it’s all about having physical strength. So I’ve never really thought about stuff like that.

Yuno: Haha, we’re the same in that we’re both liars too. I guess the difference is the reasons we lie. You care about yourself, so lie to protect yourself. I don’t care about anyone at all, including myself.

Or this conversation with Mikoto which isn't a fucking warning either Kazui-

24/08/05 (Kazui’s Birthday)

Mikoto: ––No, it’s just…… I’m happy for the thought…… But I don’t even know myself what I’ll do next. So I can’t really hang out at the moment, y’know? But…… haha, aren’t you scared, Kazu-san?

Kazui: Hmm, I guess because of my work, I’m used to dealing with rowdy youngsters. Obviously you have your reasons. I don’t feel like prying, though. Well, whenever you feel like it, you’re always welcome. If you’re always on your own it’ll just make you feel worse. I’ll be company if you need to relieve some stress.

Mikoto: Yeah…… I’m not really, y’know, used to relying on other people. Like, I start to worry that I’m being a burden. And it’s hard for me to deal with feeling so pathetic…… If I do say so myself, I’m super Japanese, haha……

Kazui: Hm…… well, I’m fine whatever. If this is what’s easiest for you, I won’t force you. But you know, being in your 20s is still super young. It’s great that you’re so disciplined, but most people won’t worry if you’re a bit of a burden. I mean, I’m almost 40, and I feel like I’m still a kid now.

Or are you referring to these two conversations-

20/06/19

Kazui: By the way…… thanks, Shina-chan. You keep going around and talking to people to make sure the mood never gets too sour, right? It’s a big help. We’re all in here together, after all. If a fight broke out the whole group could fall apart.

Mahiru: ……eh? Huh~? Ah, no, I’m just talking to people because I personally want to talk. All the kids are so cute, so I can’t help but want to fuss over them! A fight, huh… But if that ever happened, then you’ll definitely be a big help, right~? Since you’re so big! And buff!

Kazui: Ahh, no. I mean, I’ll do what I can. Based on appearance, as long as nobody has a weapon, I think I can probably get everyone under control…… No, we should just hope that nothing like that ever happens.

Mahiru: You know, I quite like watching martial arts, actually. I don’t really get it, but it looks super cool. Hi-yah! Hi-yah!

20/06/23

Futa: Old man, don’t just laze around so carefree like that. Haven’t you thought about how to break out from here? With your physique, you can probably take out the guard and escape, right?

Kazui: Ahh…… Ok, let’s put it this way. You got caught up in a bank robbery, and the culprit has blocked off the police. From a glance, they look pretty weak, and don’t seem to be holding any weapons. Would you try to arrest them yourself?

Futa: ……if it looked like I’d be able to, then I would. You said they’re weak and don’t have any weapons, right? Everyone else in the building’s life is on the line. Those who can fight should fight.

Kazui: Haha, I wouldn’t recommend that. Even if they look weak, they might actually be a lot stronger. They might have an accomplice hiding somewhere. And they might not look like they have a weapon, but could easily be hiding a gun ……you shouldn’t act until you have absolute confidence in your assessment. So, for now I’m going to sit back and assess the situation. And on that note, I’m off for a smoke~

Given that other translations have said he's was saying you should have stopped him like I'd assume he was talking about one of the guys. At best Mikoto since he was brought up by Kazui specifically in his second voice drama. Though other translations have no mentions of gender instead saying them or you (as in Es).

Either way listing everything he really did warn a lot of people that there may not be much he could do if an attack broke out or if they kept happening. So this appears to be an honest reaction to what has happened.

[sweetprfct]

Midnight Rain

Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: The glitz and glamour of Hollywood isn't always what it seems. When Joe had started working with you in a movie, he had started wondering as to why you, the famous Hollywood starlet, has been acting out lately. Was there some dark secret behind all the angry spoiled façade? And why was he so fascinated about it?

Author's Note: Okay, I decided that this series will only have 5 parts but who knows, I might come back with a volume 2 since I really like this one.

Disclaimer: 18+

Wordcount: 3.3K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

Did he go mad? Probably. 

Was he slowly going insane? Maybe. 

After a long day of doing press interviews, Joe had found himself in his hotel room late afternoon. He had been sitting at his small dining table, his eyes staring into the laptop screen and googling just about anything he could find about you. After your little panic attack this morning, Joe couldn’t help but be more interested in you. 

The real you. 

He wanted to know what was going on, and there must be a reason why you were acting like this. He couldn’t help but look back at the way your team ignored you this morning when you were clearly having a panic attack. Why would they just leave you like that? Why would they just not care? Sure, Joe understood they were all probably frustrated with you because of the attitude that you would give them, but it was a panic attack. 

If someone was that bad or cruel to him, Joe would still help them. He couldn’t let anyone just suffer like that. He knew how it felt like to be in that situation, and he never wanted anyone to feel that way even if they were rude to him. It was a medical situation. Something worse could have happened to you if he didn't help you. So now, here he was chronically googling you all afternoon and night trying to figure out what happened. Trying to figure out who you really were and what made you act like this. 

Unfortunately for him, he couldn’t find those answers through Google. The only articles he could find were a bunch of different websites with the same headline, which was how you went crazy for the last two years. Articles about how you disappeared for months, and no one was able to locate you at all. Articles about how bad your attitude was on set that crew members and Directors refused to work with you anymore. Joe couldn’t understand because he never saw you act that way on set. Maybe to your manager, and maybe the fact that you were always late but not once had he seen you treat a crew member badly. It was weird…

All of these articles were all negative. 

He couldn’t find one positive thing about you on the internet. If there was ever one, he was sure it was all covered by all these horrible articles that they kept writing about. 

Then, he had gone to Youtube to watch more interviews of you and found the older, happier ones. He couldn’t help but smile and laugh towards your jokes all the time. You seemed so bubbly and a very loud, outgoing woman in a good way. He enjoyed every interview of yours when you were still happier. You were always very interactive, and he kept thinking how your laugh was always so contagious. The joke might not always be that funny, but your laugh always made it funnier, and Joe loved every second of it. Now, all he saw was this woman who could barely get through a thirty minute interview without taking ten breaks. A woman who could barely laugh or smile. In fact, as he thought about it, Joe had never seen you smile or laugh at all. You were always so stiff and serious. When you laugh or smile, it was always fake. 

Forced. 

It was never real like the way you would before. Leaning back against his chair, Joe exhaled a sharp breath and ran his fingers down his face. He couldn’t stop questioning himself as to why he was doing this in the first place. You weren’t even his friend. Just like Alex said, you have your own team to deal with whatever you were going through but after today, it seemed like they didn’t care as much about you. Maybe that was why he was so interested. He wanted to help you, and he saw the real you earlier after your panic attack. Even if it was just for a second, he saw it. He knew you were still in there behind that façade. 

With the way Google hasn’t given him any answers at all, he knew asking you would be the only way, but how? You didn’t even talk to him. You could barely acknowledge him at all. His mind replayed what happened this morning again and the look in your eyes before you walked away. You seemed such an amazing woman, but he couldn’t seem to see all of it because you kept it hidden away.

But why? 

Feeling the frustration coming up in his emotions, he sighed and closed his laptop. He looked at the time and realized it was getting late, and he hadn't even eaten dinner yet. When did the time go by so fast? Stretching his arms out, Joe grabbed his coat and walked out of his hotel suite. After staring at the laptop screen for so long, he could feel his eyes sting, and his vision adjusting from the lights. He needed some fresh air after all of that, and he definitely needed some dinner. 

He didn’t even realize that he was hungry until he stepped out of the hotel building and walked down the streets of Paris. The night air was crisp, and he could see the stars sparkled above him as he gazed up at the sky and enjoyed the new environment he was in at the moment. Maybe clearing his mind and eating something could help him right now. He kept wondering all day if you were okay after you left the studio. He kept wondering if you really didn’t feel well because of your panic attack or because you just didn’t want to do any of the interviews. Either way, Joe kept thinking about you. 

As he continued down the street, he cursed the Universe for reading his mind too well because the moment he passed by one of the restaurants, he froze in his tracks when he saw you through the window. You were eating alone, and he could see the melancholy in your eyes. For a moment, he looked like a creep just standing there and watching you eat until you gazed up and saw him staring at you through the window. Joe saw your brows raised at him as he felt reluctant to do or react to anything. His feet were glued to the ground, and he told himself to do something before he could look even more creepier in front of you. 

Finally letting his feet lead him, he walked inside the restaurant and walked towards your table with a small shy smile tugging on his lips.

“Hi.” Joe murmured. 

You leaned back against your chair, your eyes studying him. 

“Joe.”

His name slipping from your lips sent an unfamiliar good feeling down his spine. He couldn’t explain it, but he loved the sound of his name from your lips. He still couldn’t believe that you knew his name all this time and still kept calling him John. 

What was up with that? 

“Are you stalking me?” You asked, snapping Joe out from his thoughts. 

His eyes widened, cheeks flushed as you watched him all of a sudden got all flustered in front of you. You couldn’t help but hold in your smile. He looked adorable all flustered like that. 

“What?” His voice was defensive. “No, no.”

“I know.” You said, your voice in a serious tone. “I’m kidding.”

“Oh.” Joe’s tensed shoulders dropped.

Your eyes studied him for a moment, thinking he looked captivating under the dim light of the restaurant. He was just awkwardly standing there, and you didn’t know if he wanted to talk or he just wanted to say hi. The awkward silence was killing you, and you hated it. 

“So, are you just going to stand there?” You asked, shifting your eyes at the empty chair across from you. 

“Oh. I—” Joe stuttered as he gazed down at the empty chair in front of him. 

Of course, you expected this. 

There was no way he would like to have dinner with you, especially after what you have been treating him. When were you ever nice to him? When did you ever acknowledge him? And you expected him to just sit here and join you? 

Pathetic and embarrassing. 

“I’m sorry,” A small chuckle escaped from you, shaking your head. “You must have other plans.”

Joe’s chocolate button eyes widened as he shook his head and pulled up the empty chair to sit on. 

“No,” He said. “No, I don’t.”

A rush of warm feeling spread through your body as he sat across from you. You didn’t expect him to actually stay but the fact that he decided to, it sort of made you feel elated on the inside. You watched as the server came by and handed him a menu, and it didn’t take a minute for him to pick what he wanted. He was really nice and a gentleman to the server, and you have never seen someone like that, especially in this industry. He seemed more genuine and real. 

“Are you okay?” Joe asked, snapping you out of your thoughts. 

You nodded your head, looking down at your food. “Yeah, thanks for earlier even if it was sort of… embarrassing.”

Joe chuckled softly, “It’s not embarrassing. I’ve been in that situation.” He pouted his lips, his lashes fluttering as he shook his head. “Not fun.”

You bit your lower lip, holding in your smile. What was it about him that you found so winsome? You couldn’t put your finger on it, but he was a very interesting person to talk to besides the fact that he was sweet and a gentleman. He seemed honest. You never noticed it before when you were working with him on set. Maybe because you were always too busy and stuck in your own head, but was he always like this? Did he treat other people like this too? 

Your thoughts started spiraling again as he continued to talk about how he also felt anxious in these kinds of events. His voice, however, was starting to sound distorted because of the fact that you couldn’t seem to put your finger towards the idea as to why he was being nice? No one was ever this nice to you, especially these last couple of years. 

So, why was he?

“I actually play with this ring.” He showed the ring that was in his middle finger. “Sometimes it helps me when I feel anxious on stage or in interviews. Maybe there’s something that could help you—”

“Why are you being nice to me?” You asked, cutting his sentence off.

Joe stared at you for a moment, a bit startled from the question you just asked him. He tilted his head and knitted his brows, his eyes blinking. 

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“Why… Why did you help me?” 

Joe smiled softly, his eyes glinting at you. “I think I would help anyone who’s having a panic attack.”

You nodded your head in understanding. Of course, he would. Did you really have the audacity to think that you were someone special? Eating your dinner, you didn’t utter another word. Your mind continued to spiral out, thinking of other reasons as to why he was sitting here in front of you right now. Why did he join you for dinner in the first place? You knitted your brows together, drinking your wine. 

“Is this some kind of PR that I don’t know about?” You asked, this time your voice sounded frustrated. “Is there something my team isn’t letting me know?”

Joe looked at you confused, wondering as to why you kept asking him these questions. 

“No, I just… I just wanted to help.” Joe replied.

You set your wine glass down on the table, scoffing. “You could tell me, you know? I don’t care if you sign a NDA or something. I won’t tell anyone. I just want to know what I’m getting into.”

“There’s no NDA or PR.” Joe explained. “You were having a panic attack. I wanted to help. That was all.”

For some reason, you couldn’t seem to believe his words. Although at the same time, you could tell he was telling the truth but who knows these days? Some people around you always acted like they care, but they would end up backstabbing you. So, how sure were you that Joe wasn’t doing the same thing? How sure were you that he was telling you the truth? You exhaled a sharp breath, grabbed your glass of wine and drank it again. 

Joe’s eyes studied your reaction, and he could tell that you felt sort of uncomfortable and frustrated. 

“Do people around you usually don’t help you with that?” Joe asked.

You shrugged, “Couldn’t blame them.”

You took another sip of your wine as Joe said, “Then, you surround yourself with some pretty shitty people.”

You couldn’t help but snort the wine that you were drinking, laughing softly. You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand as you laughed and shook your head. Joe grinned widely the moment he heard you laugh.

There it was.

He couldn’t believe that he was hearing this right now. You were actually laughing. Smiling with teeth and everything. Joe sat there and just watched you laugh. It was like the façade that you have built just shattered and the real you had unraveled without you realizing it. 

You were beautiful.

Stunning, actually. Joe couldn’t help but think. 

Your eyes sparkled as Joe laughed with you. Your eyes twinkled in happiness, and your laugh was infectious just like the way Joe remembered when watching your old interviews. He didn’t think his comment could make you unravel in front of him like this, but he was glad that he was able to. He was glad to see you like this. 

Your laughter slowly died down, shaking your head at his comment. “I guess you got a point.” 

You would never say it out loud, but you agreed with what Joe had just said. You did surround yourself with shitty people, and you couldn’t help but laugh at it because what the fuck was wrong with you? It was a shitty thing, but you couldn’t help but find humor in it. 

Maybe you were slowly losing your mind at this point. 

“Do they… Do they not care?” Joe asked after the both of you had calmed down. 

You shrugged your shoulders again, “I don’t know. They said they do, but it feels fake… Like the friends I thought I had.”

Joe remembered reading an article about that earlier. Something about how you had a close knit of friends for a while, and everyone always loved the friendship that you all had until it slowly shattered the last couple of years. Most of the girls in the group blamed you for the split up because you were apparently always having drama, and they didn’t want to deal with that anymore. 

Joe couldn’t help but wonder if that was true or just a rumor.

“Like I said, I couldn’t blame them.” You added, letting out a soft sigh.

Using your fork, you gently played with the food in front of you. Joe saw how you suddenly looked crestfallen in front of him when the subject came up. He could see the melancholy washing over you again, the sparkle in your eyes dimming again.

“I could be your friend.” Joe suggested, a small soft smile tugging on his lips. 

You gazed up at him, dumbfounded at the suggestion he gave to you. “Why?”

“Why not?” Joe shrugged. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” You argued, drinking your wine again.

“I wanna be your friend. A real friend. Not someone who takes advantage of you or someone who would leave you when things get rough.” 

“You have no idea what you’re getting into, you know that?” You scoffed, shaking your head.

Why was he doing this? Why was he wasting his time on you? 

You didn’t get it.

Everyone was done with you. Everyone didn’t want to make any more effort with you, so why was he wasting his energy on someone like you? Joe would just end up being disappointed.

“Well, that’s what friends are for, right? Be there for you through rough times and guide you and accept you.” Joe pressed the subject even more.

Your lips parted in disbelief, while your heart was beating a thousand miles per second the moment you heard those words escaped from Joe’s lips. 

Maybe you were wrong.

Maybe he really was genuine. Maybe he really just wanted to be your friend, and you were just having trust issues because of the experience you had before. You couldn’t trust him fully yet but there was no harm in giving him a chance, right? 

“Thank you.” You murmured, your voice was almost a whisper. 

A small genuine smile tugged on your lips and for a moment, Joe saw the real you again. The smile was tiny, but he could tell that this time, it was real and sincere. He saw it in your eyes, and he could feel the energy that was radiating out of you. 

Walking back to the hotel later that night, Joe had lost count on how many times you had smiled at his little jokes. He had lost count on how many times you laughed softly at them and shook your head at it. The rush of that good warm feeling in his stomach had washed over his body every time he listened to you laugh. Joe wondered if you ever had a good laugh in a long time. If not, he was glad that he was able to make you. 

“Well, thanks for tonight.” You said the moment you both entered the hotel lobby. 

Joe nodded his head, “Hey.”

His fingers softly grazing over your arm, reluctant to touch you. Your eyes shifted towards his fingers, and you couldn’t help but smile.

“It’s okay.” You murmured. “Forget what I said last night.”

Joe smiled, taking your hand in his. “I meant what I said earlier.”

You hitched a breath, squeezing his hand softly and another small smile tugged on your lips.

“Thank you.” You slipped your hand away from his. “Goodnight, Joe.”

“Goodnight.” 

Entering your room later that night, you could still feel your heart beating hard in your chest. You leaned against the door as soon as you entered your suite. The words that Joe told you at dinner kept repeating in your head, and you couldn’t help but smile. You exhaled a sharp breath and headed to freshen yourself up and get ready for bed. 

This morning didn’t really start off well but at least, you had a good time at dinner with Joe. For the first time, you felt something inside of you again. For the first time, you had a conversation with someone that seemed sincere. Sliding yourself under your covers that night, you grabbed your phone on the bedside table and scrolled through social media. 

The moment you opened the app, you saw your name trending. Your heart raced as soon as you clicked on it and saw an article that was posted about you. A headline about you sleeping with the Director of this movie was in big letters and suddenly, you felt your heart drop in your stomach again. Reading the article, you felt tears welled up in your eyes. The article wrote that the only reason you had received the role was because you slept with the Director and the reason as to why there was a sequel was because you continued to sleep with him. 

Your hands trembled as you exited the article, your phone slipping from your hands. You couldn’t believe someone would write something about that. In fact, you couldn’t believe that someone would think you would do something like that. You were always honest with your job, but no one seemed to believe that. Clamping your hand over your mouth, you let out a sob as tears streamed down your face. 

You just wanted this feeling of torture and pain to be over.

You just wanted everything to be over. 

*********

Taglist:

@palomahasenteredthechat @sunvick @eddies-acousticguitar @demonsanddemogorgons @joesquinns @mmunson86 @ghostinthebackofyourhead @corrodedcoffincumslut @figmentofquinn @tlclick73 @browneyes8288 @munsonluvrr @ali-r3n @ficsbypix @capricornrisingsstuff @missonlypost @ali-in-w0nderland @amberolivia666 @lalalala-melmosworld @niallersfreckles @nanas-lasagna @emma77645 @indulgence-be-thy-name @readergf @ladamari68 @1paire2vans @d4rk4ng3l86 @paleidiot @josephquinnsfreckles @readergf

[lennsart]

Hello all, remember that one time I lost my mind over a very badly translated french Zelda Encyclopedia ?

Remember how I said there'd be a part 2 ?

Did you think I had forgotten about it ?

Well you're right. I very much did.

But I remembered now, and I am not done screaming. This book personally insulted me, alright ? It pretended to be a useful tool to feed my obsession and was actually only pain.

And fun, I had to admit. Turns out that correcting it with my sister has been perfect enrichement for insane Zelda fans. We sighed a lot and shouted even more.

(But honestly, it's a bit sad how bad the book is. Like, were the translators so rushed that they made it with a bad internet translator and didn't double check ? Or did they just cared so little ?

Ok, my funnier theory is that they paired one guy who was lazy and knew fuck all about LoZ and one guy who was decent at their job... And only let the first guy do the final proofread.)

But anyways, case in point, here are my evidences !

And if you thought last post was long, wait 'til you see how I realized I don't have a 10 pictures limit on computer :]

Firstly, a thing that made me laugh as I saw the pictures I gathered for this very serious case is the clear gradual lack of respect me and my... Research Partner had for the book :

There's a "sticky notes" era, a "pencils 'cause we aren't gonna waste so many sticky notes at worst we'll erase" era, and a "we don't give a fuck anymore get the markers out" era.

Last time I divided the mistakes in three categories, "Lore mistakes", "Translation mistakes" and the dreaded "What the fuck mistakes". They are... Inegal, to say the least, but let's keep this system !

Translation Mistakes

And I mean it in the sense that "the french translation have different names and stuff than the english one and this book ignores them", not in just general translation... Because if you go that way, this entire book is a translation mistake !

But here we go :

Little details, but they left "Koroks" written this way when the french version is "Korogus", they left "Impar" (the character from Twilight princess) when in french her name is, well, Impa, they left "Mia" for the name of the remlit when it's "Miou"...

As you'll see along the way, my research partner got very mad at the book and wrote a lot of funny comments. Here you can see that next to where the book says that the river zoras "become violent", she wrote "not all zora" in all caps, which I find hilarious.

And she's right ! Don't badmouth Echoes of Wisdom Dradd, he's a cool dude !

Here, the book pretends that the kikwis all have sort of teas as their name. English reader, I hear you get offended : "The book is right !"

NOT IN FRENCH IT'S NOT ! Here, kikwis have herbs inspired names, not tea.

Well, I was going to make a joke about "DO YOU REALLY WANT TO DRINK PARSLEY OR BASIL TEA ?" but apparently they exist, so. My bad. Can we still agree that these are not types of tea ? There's tea with parsley, but the parsley is not the tea, right ?

(Just for fun, our kikwis are named : Basil (for basil, shocker I know), Jasmi (for jasmine), Pirsel (for "persil", parsley), Romar (for "romarin", rosemary) and Lorion (probably for "laurier", bay leaf. This one is less obvious so I'm not sure)

So here it's a little worse than the other times because in the text, they used the literal translation of "The Imprisoned" from Skyward Sword, except in the title they used the correct french name, "the banished".

They really said : Here's a description of le Banni ! He's called le Prisonnier.

WHY

Ok so this one is a little funny to me, bear with me alright ?

In Phantom Hourglass, one type of enemies are the Phantoms in the Ocean King temple, right ? Well, Phantom in french (literally AND in Zelda, wonderful) is Spectre.

Alright ? So what do the book say about Phantoms ? That they are Fantômes. Fantôme is a word that is phonetically the exact same as Phantom, see ? But it means ghost. Not phantom.

(I mean, they're synonyms, you know ? So phantom kinda means ghost and fantôme kinda means spectre, but It Is Not The Translation in the game so it makes it worse)

Actually, it was funny, but as I explains it it makes me a little mad. It was one google search away...

URGH and it's just the same thing again, yes technically the literal translation for "Triforce of Power" would be "Triforce de la puissance", but is it what it is in french ? NO, IT'S TRIFORCE DE LA FORCE (strength). I was alright with random characters name getting mispelled, but FUCK THIS ENCYCLOPEDIA, THIS ONE IS LITERALLY IN MULTIPLE GAMES LIKE EVEN IF YOU DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT LOZ YOU KNOW THAT AT LEAST

All of these are details, but damn Zelda Encyclopedia, I know I'm insane about these games so maybe it's not that deep, but you're writing for the french fans, THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS WRITE THE FRENCH VERSION OF THINGS

Whew, ok, this is starting to annoy me I feel, so let's change subject, why not ? Here are the :

Lore Mistakes

There are not a lot of them, but they made me gesture widely at the book trying to form a sentence that, if I had managed, would probably have been "Where the fuck did they get that from ?"

Which means that there's a possibility that it's right, but seeing this bitch's track record, I'm going to assume it's not.

Here are pictures of Kokiris, what is the description ?

"Since they're the Hylians' descendants, they look a lot like them."

Since

WHEN ?

Like, genuinely, help me there. Am I the problem ? Are the kokiris supposed to be descended from the Hylians ? And if they are, where is it cited ? I literally almost completed Ocarina of Time for the second time and cannot remember it being hinted at anywhere. Like yeah, they look alike, but aren't kokiris separate forest spirits ???

The tone of the book also annoy me, like "since they're hylians' descendants", as if it was common sense. SIR I PLAY THESE GAMES SINCE I'M OLD ENOUGH TO HOLD A CONTROLLER WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR INFO FROM

It's making me question whether I'm stupid or if it's just bullshitting me right now !

This one is a graph about the different worlds in LoZ. My problem here is that... Well, firstly, my problem is that there is the Sky and the Skies, but I guess that this is like... TP Sky and SS Sky, maybe ?

The real problem is that between these two categories they put "Minish World".

Minish World ? You mean, like, Hyrule ?

...Ok, I'm jesting, they probably mean Cloud Tops and the Wind Tribe. But in that case... Say that ? They make it sound like all the Minish live in the sky ! Precisely between two versions of the sky !

Are minish angels...? No, better question. ARE MINISH OOCCA ??

This one annoys me greatly for several reasons, but I'm going to be so so brave about it :

As you can see, it's a representation of the LoZ Timeline, with two games highlighted : Link's Awakening and Phantom Hourglass. It's because this is talking about when Link goes in adventures in parallel worlds.

So firstly, fuck Majora's Mask, right ?

And then, the thing I have underlined is saying that those events happened in "both case after Ganon was slayed".

See how they say Ganon and not Ganondorf. See it, 'cause I'm not going to make any comment about it because it's nOT THAT IMPORTANT

Quick reminder : Ganondorf got defeated but Hyrule was left destroyed in Wind Waker (third branch of the timeline). Ganondorf's plans were foiled before he had time to do anything in Majora's Mask (second branch of the timeline).

You know where Ganondorf didn't get defeated ?? IN THE FIRST BRANCH OF THE TIMELINE. THE ONE WHERE LINK'S AWAKENING IS.

Really, why go out of your way to say that if it's Not Fucking Correct ? This book wakes up some kind of ancient wrath in me that should only belong to children whose snack got confiscated in school !

Ok, as I said earlier, there aren't many lore mistakes, but that's good because they are the ones that makes me question my sanity the most. Let's go to the category you're probably waiting for :

What the fuck mistakes

Starting with a tame one, but :

This book is incapable of saying the word "regent". It is literally saying, for both Hilda and Midna, that these "princesses" are the "queens" of their kingdom.

No they're not, they're princesses, you just said so, IT'S NOT THE SAME GODDAMN TITLE !!

So this one almost made it to the translation mistakes, but it's in the 'what the fuck' ones simply because it's so poorly translated that I'm not even sure what they originally meant.

It's talking about Spirit Tracks' Tower of Spirit, and you can read "Sparkling trains are activated thanks to the gathered energy."

Excuse me,

Sparkling Trains ?

My guess is that they're talking about the tracks, but even then, they're not called "sparkling" ? And if they're really talking about the tracks, they're then talking about the Spirit Tracks. You know, the ones the game is named about ?

Then, a question : WHERE THE FUCK DID "SPARKLING" CAME FROM.

In the same style, but this time I simply hated it too much to put it in Translation Mistakes : Remember the Fused Shadows in Twilight Princess ? Well in french, they're called Shadow Shards.

What do they call it here ? "Melted Shadows". Not fused, not shards, I'm losing my fucking mind

As I have written on my sticky note, this one is a very disrespectful one. Ciela, the fairy from Phantom Hourglass, has the same name in french and in english, but somehow they still managed to write "Chiela".

Why is it so disrespectful ? BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE "SHIT" IN FRENCH. SPECIFICALLY, IT SOUNDS LITERALLY LIKE THE SENTENCE "SHIT HERE". CIELA IS A PRETTY NAME, DAMNIT

Actually, it annoyed me so much that I went out of my way to show that thIS BOOK KNOWS HER NAME ! THEY DON'T HAVE ANY EXCUSES !!!

JUSTICE FOR CIELA !! FUCK YOU, FRENCH ZELDA ENCYCLOPEDIA !!!!

Honestly, it's funny to me now that these first pages had sticky notes. Ah, the good time from when I still had a slither of respect for this book...

Here, it just describes every Light Spirit from Twilight princess with animals : "goat, monkey, butterfly, snake". Firstly, they don't look exactly like animals, secondly...

Butterfly ?

I mean, Eldin has always looked like an owl to me ? Ok, the wings are vaguely butterfly-shaped, but it has a body and a face ?

Was Eldin a butterfly all along ? Am I going insane ? (ok yes I am, but reader, do you really see Eldin as a butterfly ???)

Oh ok, so now we just don't translate anything anymore. Remember how this isn't the first time this encyclopedia does that to me. You're right, why bother, I STILL HAVE TO FACT-CHECK THE BOOK ANYWAY, MIGHT AS WELL LEAVE IT AS IT WAS IN ENGLISH.

You know what else we could do ?

Leave actual mistakes in the book ! Let's forget a whole ass word in a sentence ! And why stop at random words ? Let's not proof read the title of the games ! Twillight Princess with two Ls ! What's next, MINISHIP CAP ??

(I said last time I'll never get over it, well, I didn't)

I think on my first post someone commented that the LoZ offical books weren't very accurate to begin with, and I hear that... But I still think there's a difference between accuracy and whatever the fuck this encyclopedia has going on

I spared you (and myself) some longer paragraphs that would have been harder to translate, but I swear to god it sounds like it hasn't been written by a human sometimes ! It's like they just put the whole book through a translator, and then went back to ADD some more mistakes ! I genuinely don't understand how an official product can be that bad !! It is hilarious, but also I want to bite through it sometimes.

I hope at least you enjoyed watching me lose my mind again ! It is fun to share how bad this book is, and I have to admit I had good laughs out of it. We haven't even attacked the items list yet... I'm scared ! But if I find atrocities, I'll report them here too.

(Maybe in like, 6 months, but I will !)

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

🧜🏼🧜🏼🧜🏼🧜🏼🧜🏼🧜🏼🧜🏼🧜🏼🧜🏼🧜🏼🧜🏼🧜🏼🧜🏼🧜🏼🧜🏼🧜🏼🧜🏼🧜🏼🧜🏼hi

HI

57 for 🧜🏼:

---

Nothing works. Buck simply can’t do any fancy magical water explosions of his own volition. 

This fucking sucks. 

“I’m useless,” Buck grumbles. 

“I mean, you’re still pretty handy in a water rescue,” Eddie argues. Certainly he’s saved people they wouldn’t have been able to save without his abilities, including Bobby, but still… 

“Well, I want to control this,” Buck sighs. 

“You will,” Eddie says. “Maybe it’ll just take some time.”

Buck shrugs. “Whatever. I give up.”

🌊

Buck’s new abilities make a reappearance later that night. It’s really the worst possible timing. Even worse than on a call. 

It happens during sex. 

Eddie had so graciously tried to get Buck’s mind off his inability to perform in one area, by accentuating his ability to perform in another. It didn’t take much to distract Buck when Eddie made the suggestion. And why would it? He has the hottest boyfriend alive. He hardly has to do anything to seduce Buck. 

They’re really getting to it, nearly there, when Eddie does a little thing with his mouth that he knows drives Buck actually mad with lust, when boom. The glass of water on the nightstand sprays up like a fountain, knocking it off the table, where it shatters on the floor. The bottle of water-based lubricant that was beside it pops open and squirts out, as if someone stepped on it. This happens, of course, at the same time as Buck’s own body reaches a similar conclusion, which is as embarrassing as it is frustrating. 

“Holy shit,” Eddie says, twisting to look at the mess. “You did that.”

Buck groans in frustration. 

“What the hell? I can’t even have sex now?”

“No, I’m sure that’s not true,” Eddie says. “You can still have bad sex.”

Buck makes what can only be described as an entirely pathetic moan. 

“It’s not a huge deal,” Eddie says, rolling away from Buck, to the side of the bed where there isn’t broken glass. 

“It is! My orgasm blew stuff up!”

“Yes, and you’re very powerful and manly,” Eddie says with a patronizing little smirk. “But, seriously, I’m sure this is just you getting used to whatever this is, until you figure it out. Right?”

“Well, what if it’s not?” Buck asks, despondent. 

Eddie shrugs, smirking. 

“You’ve only been like this for two years and a bit,” he says. “Maybe this is merman puberty.”

“I hate you,” Buck says. 

Eddie laughs. 

“No, really. I hate you. I’m breaking up with you.”

“I know for a fact that you adore me and think I’m funnier than I actually am,” Eddie says. “Now, uh, let’s clean everything up, okay?”

Buck sighs. “Yeah, fine.”

iii.

Buck’s predicament only seems to get worse over the next few days. Eddie feels for him. It must be pretty frustrating, worrying that any strong emotion may lead to a water-based catastrophe, when you’re Evan Buckley. A notoriously strong emotion feeler.

[thebottomfromhell]

I read your Hantengu smut post from a while ago and I love the dynamic of him being with a teasing partner!!!! Aaaaahhhhhhh!!!

I can just imagine the grief reader would give him. Oops, undergarment flash! Oh, that’s my chest pressing against you! Woah, my hand slipped and gave you a little spank!

Welcome to a new episode of let's bully Hantengu (main body)! On the other hand, I'm glad you liked the post (even if idk which Hantengu smut post is 😅), I hope you also like this one.

Dynamic of Hantengu with a teasing/bully GN reader

Warnings: Slight bullying, Hantengu's... everything (+exagerating some things), Slight exposure of underwear, Implied sexual content and a Non-consented spank (ask for consent irl, people, ask if the other party is ok with it first).

Hantengu loves you, he loves you a lot. You are a spark of joy in his scary, miserable life, with your playful attitude and genuine, shameless, soul, how could he not? The problem is that, sometimes you get too playful, to the point he can keep up with it. Hantengu easily gets nervious, overwhealmed, anxious, scared or embarrassed, so maybe you could tone it down a bit? ....

Nah, what for? Honestly speaking, you like to see him startled, to hear him whine, sob and whimper, for him to tremble at the same time he holds into something or someone for comfort. He is so cute when he does, and so easy to tease you just have to. Just some words or touches are enough for hin to become a sweet mess only for you. Seriously, it's amazing this guy is supposed to be the fourth most dangerous demon after his king, because for you he is "My little crybaby. Do you want some cuddles, huh? Would you like me to make you feel better because everythin is swo scawy for Hantengu?"

He sobs again, burrying his face in your neck as his ears and face becomes each time more red, embarrased but not wanting to let go as you are both a source of comfort and grief. He doesn't even phantom how you can do it so easily, Karaku and Urogi he can get, they are an emotion so they can't really care about anything than enjoying things or do stuff they consider pleasurable. He doesn't know what is worse, when you use words or when you use your body to tease him.

It can be little things, like showing the side wings of the fudonshi over the pants, when you use them, having them showing off more the V line on your lower body. The first time it happened he made a little jump and a gasp, thankfuly none of the clones where there at the time, but it didn't help that you laughed about it, smirking. "Is something wrong? Did you see something?" In that second he couldn't move his eyes away as he started to tear up, you were still putting something on top, so he didn't know where to look.

"No, nothing!" And he looked away... for about an hour as he blushed violently and trembled, eyes closed hard and not a single breath coming out of his body. You laughed about it as you pressed yoursef against the back of his head, since he was sitting. "C'mon, love. Talk to me." He can feel your chest against him, and he starts sweating cold. "Y-Y-Y/N... Y/N your-" he stopped himself, not knowing how to call that body part in a way that is appropiate. "My... what? Tell me." Oh, you knew exactly what, but making Hantengu say it is way funnier. He stumbles in his own mouth, not managing to make out a single word as he blushes even harder and tears come out his eyes.

He is clearly overthinking. "What if I say it? Will it make me look like a pervert? Will Y/N accuse me of being one? I'm not a pervert! I didn't want to look! I didn't! I'm innocent!" And so on as he started breathing hard until you decided to have enough and started to comfort him, making him forget about it. Not that you didn't do it again, the exposed underwear was easily dealt with, he just stopped looking, moving his head everytime you were not using top or kimono. The body pressing was harder to get over from, but he just stays still when you do until you let him be or spice things up.

But then, it happened. Hantengu still has scars from when it happened, he never saw it comming. A normal night, he was just helping with something in the house, can't even remember what, and he was walking besides you, and the second he passed you... he felt it. Your hand hiting one of his buttlocks, making a loud noice as he feels the impact, tensing the second you make contact, face and ears heating up as an unnatural and miserable expresion takes over his face, throwing in the air the towels he was carrying as he lets a high pitched and even louder "EEEEEEEEEEAAAACK!! WHAT WAS THAT?!" feeling everything speeding up as he turns around to look at you, who was looking somewhere else, almost innocently.

"Hm? "What was" what?" He blushes harder as he doesn't know what to say. "You-you know... that." You try to keep your laugh to yourself, some choked chuckles scape, but you only smirk, face hurting in the process, as you ask again. "What?" You really want to laugh as tears start to form in his eyes, he just looks so lost, so cute and it's really hard to pretend you didn't do it when you both know you just spanked him. Hantengu starts to hug hinself as he starts subbing in confusion, a little inner though making him question if you may be actually telling the truth...

That though spirals as he breaks down into your arms. "I-I-I hat-hate you!" He days crying and you just had to tease more... leading to the current state. "Ok, shhh~ it's ok, I'm sorry. I am so sorry baby, I won't do it again, promise." He is having the grief of his life and you are having fun... he really hates you. It's always the same, you tease him and end up also comforting him. Why?! "A love you." You kiss the tumour in the top os his head as he calms down... that is why. He is trapoed like this, can't stand you but also can't have enough of you... he really hates you...

[greenapplebling]

So I made a post about a Twst x TOH crossover before but I now know more about Twst so I want to talk about some things

First, Idk if the Hex squad would be sort on different houses or if they'll spent x amount of days in each house to have a full experience. Ig it will make sense if they didn't get sorted bc they're from a different universe but I'll go with the "each of them get sorted in a house" route bc it's funnier lol

Ok, so here are some things I thought about:

Luz, despite being quite the extrovert, she would definitely be sorted into Ignihyde with all the weebs and gamers lol. She would make friends with Ortho quickly but Idia would hide from her despite that, as housewarden, he's in charge of showing her around

Hunter gets sorted in Savanaclaw, he gets terribly attached to Jack bc he's a wolf and often follows his lead. Jack, as a lone wolf, doesn't know how to deal with it but let's Hunter be bc he knows it's only temporary. Otherwise, Hunter is wary of Ruggie bc he seems shady and is disappointed housewarden Leona is such a lazy slump, he doesn't get why Jack admires them sm. He might get it if he gets to join them for a magic shift game

Idk where to sort Amity, I don't think she'll be in Heartslabyul but I definitely want to have her bond with Riddle over their controlling mothers. Riddle would talk about how much it helps him to have Trey's (his childhood friend) support and Amity would share about how much she's trying to rekindle her relationship with Willow

I feel like if Amity got homesick, she'll unconsciously wander around the Leech twins. They're not the same but something about them reminds her of her siblings, specially Jade who's a little shady and also has a smile that you can't tell if it's mocking or polite, he reminds her of Emira

Willow gets sorted into Diasomnia. She doesn't have any problem trying to befriend Malleus and feels a little bad for him when she notices people avoid him like the plague. Befriending Lilia and Silver it's easy and she surprisingly can stomach Lilia's cooking? (All the Hex squad can except Luz lol) She actually offers to cook for them but they're horrified when they learn about fairy pies and Willow apologizes profusely when they tell her they're faeries (which is close enough), it gets a little awkward and Silver jokes that at least it's good to know his father's cooking isn't the worse in all the multiverse. With Sebek, well, I don't think he'll be as intense as he normally is with her bc he learns she isn't human and that she has great magical talent, which I think it's something he'll be able to respect and if he doesn't, she'll make him. I do see him whining about her getting too close to Malleus though lol

I'll like to see Willow and Azul bonding over their past bullying, Idk how or why would Azul ever open up about it though 🤔

Vee gets into Scarabia and gets along with Kalim and Jamil. She will see how much Jamil works and offers to replace him whenever he feels too tired, it takes some time for him to trust her but he eventually caves but tells her not to tell Kalim bc he wants to see how long it takes before he notices. Surprisingly Kalim notices right away, he goes "WHO ARE YOU" the moment he sees a nervous smile on Jamil instead of his usual grumpy face and it escalates from there

I'm not sure where to sort Gus, but I'm inclined to put him in Octavinelle just bc I think he'll really get into the mafia vibes lol

Despite that, I can see Gus going around with Luz, Ortho, Grim, Yuu, Ace and Deuce playing pranks on students with his illusions

Either King would accompany Luz wherever she goes or he gets into Ramshackle with Yuu and Grim

And that's all for now. I'll write when I can think more stuff lol

[dearchloe]

14 december

Ivy woke up and experienced a moment of panic as she was greeted by bare wooden walls rather than the bright reds and greens she was accustomed to see in her crib at Jolly's house.

It was funny how quickly you could adapt to a new setting, she reflected, and even funnier how much panic it could induce when you woke up somewhere different. She was sure it never used to affect her this much.

She stretched out with a yawn, just as she always did at home, raising her arms above her head and stretching out her feet as far as she could, aiming to touch both ends of the crib at the same time. Rather than the bars she expected, though, her hands encountered something soft and warm, and she frowned to herself, feeling around it to try and work out what was in here with her.

Then, to her absolute shock, it spoke.

"Do you mind?"

Ivy shrieked and, to her concern, felt her nappy warming beneath her as she made it to the other side of the crib in record time, bolt upright and looking around her without the first idea of what to expect.

One of the other girls — no, she reminded herself, women — was sitting at the far end of the crib. It was the girl who'd been topless in the church, and she was, Ivy couldn't help noticing, still topless now, which raised some embarrassing questions as to exactly where her hands had just been.

This was Amy, she remembered now from hurried and whispered introductions conducted in a playpen the previous afternoon. It sounded as if the redhead had had an even more traumatic experience in the North Pole than the rest of them; at least, she certainly hadn't been keen to talk about it, and Ivy had noticed in their shared bath the previous evening — had been unable to help noticing — that the skin of her bottom was a nasty shade of red.

She hadn't asked questions. There were some questions that you didn't ask.

As a barrister, of course, in that life which felt so far behind her now, she'd had to ask the questions that you didn't ask. But there was nothing to be gained from it here.

Not for her and not for Amy.

"Sorry," she murmured, feeling her cheeks blushing without any conscious input from her mind. "I, uh..."

"No worries." It was a northern accent, Ivy decided. Manchester, maybe, though northerners probably wouldn't call that northern at all. "It's not like privacy counts for anything here, right?"

There was no good answer to that, so Ivy didn't answer. She asked a question of her own instead.

"So what do you think's on the agenda today?"

Amy shrugged, causing a certain amount of rippling. "I dunno. Plastic blocks. Pissing myself. Sucking someone's tit."

"What?"

"Oh, they didn't make you do that?"

Ivy shook her head, feeling bile rise up in her throat. "They did you?"

"You bet they did." Amy pulled a face. "All the fucking time."

Ivy had considered that she'd had a pretty hard time so far. She'd been abstracted from her home in the middle of the night, taken away in the middle of a case which would have been the making of her career, forced to wet and mess herself because no one would allow her to use a toilet, spoken to more condescendingly than she could remember being treated by even the worst of judges.

And yet it was only now occurring to her that things could get a hell of a lot worse.

[necrotic-nephilim]

i see your jason/helena/roy idea, and raise you a roy/dick and jason/helena becoming a weird polycule. the two couples keep crossing paths and it somehow turns into a roy/dick/jason/helena relationship.

ooooh YES. especially with the canon history of HelenaDick thown in-

bc then there's the joke/angle ppl always take with JayRoy of "oh Jason keeps stealing Dick's friends/exes", except this time, it's Helena who's Dick's ex that Jason just happened to steal. even funnier if he didn't mean to steal her and the first time they slept together was early on in Jason's Red Hood days and Helena really had no idea that this new guy on the scene had any sort of connection to Bruce or Diick. i think Helena and Jason are a fun couple for "this started as hatefucking but now i go to you if i need to be stitched up and if someone hits on you i'm burning down a building idk what label exists for that, do you" sort of vibe. where they won't say they're dating, even deny they're dating pretty vehemently if they're asked- but also wholly devoted in a "matching each other's freak" sort of way.

meanwhile Dick and Roy have settled into "domestic husbands without a ring" territory. they had their ups and downs in their youth and probably dated as teens, broke up for a few years bc their life paths took them in different directions, but came back together through Dick trying to help with Lian and it naturally worked out into a relationship. they still have their issues but they're sort of seen as the old married couple of the Titans that everyone knew was going to get together sooner or later bc they were the only ppl who could match each other's toxic. bc even at their best, these two are still a hot mess who can't process their emotions individually, let alone together. they argue a lot and will get in each other's face, but they always make up. usually with sex.

and i love the idea they just can't crossing paths. it's bad enough Dick has to see his ex, but his ex with Jason? that's even worse. bc there are all sorts of unresolved feelings around Jason. and it doesn't help that Roy passingly blurts out that yeah, he slept with Helena once while they were on a break. so they try to avoid running into each other on all sides, which makes inevitable team-ups even more awkward. i think it's fun if Helena breaks the tension with a crass joke just so everyone can move on. but one thing leads to another and. i think it's funny if they all swear it's a one-night stand. maybe it's not the first time swinging for one or either couple, so this is a little weird, but they swear to never speak of it again and move on.

i think them being unable to stop seeing each other. Roy is in Gotham to see Dick anyway, but now he's definitely around to see Jason and Helena, to "check up on them". and Dick wants to be angry, but he's doing the same thing. these losers cannot stop running into each other. and they can't stop matching each other's freak. Jason and Helena leave dead bodies at Roy and Dick's doorstep like courting presents, entirely uncoordinated. Dick just wants to be asked out like a normal person, Roy is sort of amused by the whole thing. i love the idea of Jason and Helena convinced they're never going to get anything outside of sex from Dick and Roy so they're sort of trying to outdo each other at some point once they find out about each other's antics, just as a running inside joke. neither of them expect it to actually work until Roy mentions that he made a reservation for four, for his next date with Dick and doesn't say another word bc the invitation is obvious.

i do think they could work well as a real polycule too. all of these characters have some kind of history and are drawn into each other's weird interpersonal lives. and they'd all be wildly possessive over each other, which makes for very fun sex. anyway you're enlightened for this pairing and i am going to be thinking about them nonstop now, ty <3