#which it isn't often but anyway-
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IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder
╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher
#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies#(more thoughts at the end of the tags)#shameless#shamelessnet#shamelessedit#ian gallagher#cameron monaghan#*macygifs#bipolar disorder#hello pals how are we doin#i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags#and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes)#i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation#that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day#world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder#which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life#while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life#and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines#over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful#i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended#hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles#world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder#and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized)#it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all#it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen#so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can.#we are worth it#i promise#anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder#go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives
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Broke (2016): BBC Sherlock is a phenomenal piece of media and anything that seems like a flaw just hasn't been fully explored yet
Woke (2020): BBC Sherlock is an incredibly flawed series run by an egotistical writer, it never deserved the hype and is actively bad on so many fronts (especially representation)
Bespoke (2024): BBC Sherlock is flawed and bogged down by increasingly poor writing, which many fans refused to see while it was airing, leading to hugely misplaced expectations (particularly for the final series), AND it has the seeds of some compelling characterizations and portrayals, some genuinely solid performances, and touches--albeit imperfectly--on complexities that are still being discussed today (particularly as it relates to the relationship between Sherlock and John). The huge cultural impact of the show has created a massive pendulum effect in its public perception, leading to most people today remembering a caricature of the show (whether positive or negative) rather than appreciating its nuanced merits and failings...that being said Season 4 sucked
#these just sum up my personal takes at the years in question and also what i'm seeing on tumblr/other social media#bbc sherlock#sherlock holmes#and i actually have a lot more thoughts to share on this series#specifically relating to the cultural impact#there is SO much about the show that goes unappreciated in hindsight because of how public perception of it has soured#and i totally fell into this as well--i still regularly rewatch hbomberguy's video absolutely dismantling the series and he isn't wrong!!#but what i'm saying is that i think it's easy for us to look at a piece of media (especially one so massively popular) like sherlock...#with very black-and-white lenses. it wouldn't have become so popular if there wasn't something inherent in it that resonated with people#and that's being buried (and i totally forgot it) because 'sherlock is cringe and problematic. can't believe i liked that'#which again it IS full of issues and those are well-documented as they should be. future portrayals should not repeat those mistakes#BUT being able to impact so many people is a merit in itself. and that's only possible because of other genuinely good things about the show#yes the way they handled the relationship between john and sherlock was riddled with problems YES it was often queerbaiting#AND the way they portrayed that relationship had a deep effect on me. i saw a lot of myself in sherlock and the complex way he loved john#the nuanced feelings he had about john's marriage to mary. the part (in s4!) where john calls him inhuman for not feeling romantic love#there was genuine intention and care put into some parts of this show and it comes through in scenes like those. they impact people.#and because of this realization i'm going to (eventually) do a rewatch of the show. i'm much older and i want to see how i'll view it now#but i want to go into it--and i want everyone who engages with it still--to have an open mind and evaluate it for what it is#not what we expected it to be (secret episode anyone?) or what the cultural drift has turned it into (the tiktok of sherlock's mind palace)#but the messy problematic somewhat-heartfelt massively significant and ultimately meaningful piece of media it actually was#anyway that's my thoughts would love to hear y'all's perspectives#funny how after all this time making a sherlock post still feels like i'm poking a bees' nest lol please be kind!#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#kay has a party in the tags
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people will be like i hate taash because they're sooo immature, unlike my babygirl pookie bear emmrich 😍 who told on them to his boss 🫡 because they called him a skull fucker death mage 😤 which is not nice 😡 and hurt his feelings 😢 he is 55 🥵
#i'm not saying emmrich isn't right to be irritated#but they're both being dicks in that scene#like how many times does taash need to say they don't like necromancy before he stops talking about it to them?#if i was to be as uncharitable as taash haters are i'd say he's doing it on purpose to upset them#and then when they've finally had enough and lash he's like 'omg calm down it's not that serious'#which is obviously not what's happening but anyone can be interpreted as an immature asshole if you choose to read them that way#not emmrich hate btw it's just the example i see cited most often#taash is in their early-mid 20s according to trick weekes and the way ya'll try to make me feel weird for romancing a character who's my age#by insisting they must be a teenager because of shit like this#while simultaneously crying that people are calling emmrich old is so lame and dumb#and is clearly founded in a beautiful misogyny/ableist combo because of their autistic traits#anyway rant over i just get annoyed#not about anyone in particular which i feel the need to say so i don't wake up to hate posts about me again
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Lrb dear god, this reminded me of that time when Alfred-chan got sooooo mad at my post explaining why fans should respect bisexual headcanons for Maria and Malenia instead of pretending like they're canonically lesbians and that they get oppressed and erased by mxf ships with them. They kept vagueing that post for like a MONTH in their blog including in tags under reblogs of Maria fanart, passively-aggressively changed their url to character+sexuality to "spite" me and then even made a sockpuppet account to start shit with me in the comments.
They deactivated when me and Val completely obliterated their "you cultivate lesbiphobic following by telling people why they should respect all sexuality headcanons instead of acting cultish or assuming their experiences and stereotypes equal canon confirmation" garbage with actual facts and logic tho but I screenshotted everything fjthfgfj (I learned to document everything the hard way after they've changed the she/they pronouns to they/they pronouns ONLY to accuse me of misgendering, so thank you for making me wiser I guess 😎). Even more vile, as they, a white person, larped as an Arab in that sockpuppet to hold even MORE "privilege" against me in discussion gjtjfh Because for them race, gender or sexuality are just badges of honor and dishonor, they don't see these as traits of actual human beings. And Dr Eugene X, who worked with them and weaponized her race to accuse everyone who disagreed with her of racism, didn't bat an eye at such a terrible act too?? As usual, rules are not for their friends, lol
It is not even the worst thing Alfred did, and yet all of this just, just, JUST because I wrote a point on why bisexual headcanon people did nothing wrong and there is no ground to claim something is canon when it isn't. 🤦♂️ Like, they were soooo convinced that I hated lesbian headcanons and that I'd feel angry if they called Lady Maria a lesbian, when what I was angry at is this exact toxic behavior in the fandom. No matter how much you like a headcanon, don't be a bitch about it. Maria doesn't """belong""" to any gender or sexuality, she belongs to anyone who likes her and is invested in her complexity as a character!!!
Yet, apparently, common Malenia simps / Finlay shippers are no better than common Maria simps / Mariadeline shippers. Just, wild how after shit like this, many people have the guts to claim that it is "sexist redditbros" who are the biggest problem of creators in the fandom. 🤦♂️ They'd actually blush if they encountered what such self-proclaimed "feminists" do to their own (!!!) over headcanons. 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
#also fuck anna for thinking shit like this and way worse things alfred did is not as evil and toxic as#as me snapping at her for DEFENDING alfred#wiki: I can excuse stalking harassment cultish shunning bullying fantomette lying slander weaponizing identity but-#-I draw the line at katy getting too emotional when I admit as much uwu#granted she did admit that the reason for this is because alfred didnt concern her personally#she is probably the person I'll forgive last in this situation if ever#as much as I hate alfred they clearly have no empathy and compassion and lie for medical reasons#it isn't my assumptions they often reblogged this shit#I know mental illness is not an excuse for so much harassment for variety of reasons but-#-why would someone want to change if they medically can't feel guilt for their actions?#I feel bad for them and they hopefully will get help#as for Eugene idk... they seem to be a typical brainwashed youth#such people either change with age or get strongly bitten in the ass and get reality check#granted people who still follow her did admit she goes head hunting and then plays victim#as well as they only keep in touch because they worry they'll be dragged down if they are not at her good side#rather than because they like her posts (which are so untrue to BB that she can just make OCs anyways)#choir boy is literally just mindless sheep that didnt even have dignity to make it personal#hence is the name#I am sure he is lovely in his own circle it just doesn't concern me or my friend#but anna?#she knew what she was doing and has no excuse#fandomry rambles#it is also funny how they are four cringe failures and us are four based people#best AND worst groups come in four lol#also I know you all are dying to know how I can still hold grudges year later right?#it is hard to explain#I live normally and recover and not think of it but then scar starts to hurt#like you know how physical scars can react to weather or shit? mental can too
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Anybody interested in the moralization of desire and porn, desirability politics, or just any text that confronts popular narratives of sex and porn and deconstructs them in an easily digestible way should read a right to sex by amia srinivasan
#there's a chapter where she talks about how desire SHOULD be free from moral authoritarianism#but nobody ever wants to confront the question of how our desires are formulated#which is both contradictory and not#also why I refrain from partaking in dark content discourse on here it's always so [redacted] which isn't exactly bad#im not exactly expecting in depth dialectic convos about that here#and she also talks about how feminism often reduces sex positivity to consent#except that runs the risk of reinforcing desirability politics#anyway excellent read everyone even the slightest bit interested in the intersection of law policy feminism and sex should read !#I did not explain this well lol#mt
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post-canon every single member of kimcom likes to spoon kim dokja. nonsexually. it's just nice to know he's alive and there and feel his chest rise and fall within the circle of your arms. try to do something stupid now asshole. oh you can't? because of my octopus impression? that's right. take THAT. however i will make one exception for yoo joonghyuk. yoo joonghyuk may want to spoon kim dokja, but he never gets the opportunity because kim dokja wants to spoon him more. so the sleeping arrangement is yjh>kdj>all other kimcom members on rotation. actually i take it back there's one other household member who doesn't want to spoon kim dokja and it's yoo mia, but that's fine because she's one of the only people (besides kim dokja) who yoo joonghyuk would be comfortable spooning. so there's probably times when it's yma>yjh>kdj>today's lucky winner.
incidentally this is also the order for the doing-each-other's-hair train because while yoo mia WILL allow other people to do her hair, no one wants to because she always compares their skills unfavorably to her brother's. and she's really articulate about it. just utterly scathing. one time her criticism was so devastatingly, accurately incisive that she made lee hyunsung cry. yoo joonghyuk spooned him that night to cheer him up and yoo mia was so mad about it that lee hyunsung had to leave the country for a couple weeks. the household learned a valuable lesson that day. it's best not to disturb the delicate spooning/hair-train balance.
#i love how often the webtoon shows people giving their injured teammates piggyback rides#like yeah that is way easier than a bridal carry. good weight distribution#but also it means when they go into Spoon Mode they're like. hey this is familiar!#anyway kimcom totally has a schedule for who gets to spoon kim dokja because otherwise shin yoosung and lee gilyoung would#resort to murder#also han sooyoung was hogging him and pretending it didn't count because it was her clones doing it#(classic excuse. it wasn't me. it was my clone! my clone stole the cookie from the cookie jar! my clone ate my homework!!)#kim dokja figures out that there's a schedule but he thinks it's like. a chore for them instead of something they're fighting over#because he is an idiot 😎👍#the other sleeping arrangement is kim dokja lying on his back and one person on each side cuddling up to him#that's the default when yjh isn't around for kdj to spoon. which doesn't happen very often#if anyone asks no i did NOT start crying the last time someone spooned me because i was incredibly touch-starved. utter lies#totally untrue and also completely irrelevant to the matter at hand#orv#omniscient reader's viewpoint#my posts#f#kdj#orv spoilers#i guess??#kimcom in the situation room trying to strategize how to turn him back into a squid so they can all have a tentacle to cuddle#kim dokja only has two hands and like ten people who want to clutch him to their bosom...but what if he had MORE than two hands?#he has before and he can again. as god is their witness
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i dunno it kinda bothers me sometimes to see characters who are referred to with they/them pronouns in games described as "ambiguously gendered" or "gender left unclear" or "gender unstated" by fans and stuff like. yeah absolutely they are sometimes that. sometimes the creator had a gender in mind for them while creating them and just didn't think to talk about it in the game. but also, like. sometimes characters can just be nonbinary? and it makes me kinda sad that everyone's first reaction to they/them pronouns in games is "oh, they have a binary gender, it's just up to the player/not stated in-game".
#this is just something i was thinking about#after reading the ut localization book and seeing monster kid and onionsan described this way specifically#like. onionsan isn't really a big deal to me. they're just never talked about in the game.#i'm not treating them as Important Canon Nonbinary Rep because even though i use they/them for them#they're not canonically Anything.#monster kid is sort of the same deal? undyne uses they/them for them#and while it could be argued that she doesn't know them you could also argue they sneak out to follow her a lot#she could've met them before.#eh. it's a non-issue in this case really. at least they didn't describe napstablook that way#but honestly why are they so scared of saying 'nonbinary'. it's clear that that's what napstablook is#with the 'theirself' and all that#which. singular themself/theirself is not a word you see often in media at all!#it certainly wasn't when undertale came out! that was a pretty uncommon word in games!#so props to toby for featuring the first singular themself i ever saw in media and making me go 'woah'#but anyway. if you're curious. the lol book simply says#'the game refers to napstablook as 'them' not 'him' or 'her''#which. yeah! they're a them! but why do you act like this is some sort of narration quirk#and not just. a character being nonbinary.#i think that became pretty clear when the first few rounds of the undertale art book#came out and used he/him for them#but then someone asked toby about the pronoun difference#and he called them all back and changed their pronouns to they/them in the book once again.#honestly i. only vaguely remember hearing that so if someone has sources i'd love to see them#but like. why can't characters be nonbinary. why can't people just say nonbinary. it's not a scary word.
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ocyonautsbwithoutbfijtect part47✌️7
#octonauts#octonauts without context#i typed the title with my eyes closed#it uh. took a few tries bc apparently i'm very good at it HFHDJFK-#fr sat there frustrated like ''>:(( STOP BEING RIGHT I'M TRYING TO BE FUNNY'' 😭#this isn't a brag fyi if anything i'm exposing myself as needing to put my phone down more often lmaoo#anyway *continues making post on phone* ✨✨#i have no idea which part this is bc i've made so many of these. this could be part 5 or 78 and i wouldn't know lmao#i love this show so much. i don't know if you guys have noticed this about me /j#it's important for u all to know
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i think it should be possible to scream without making any noise or disturbing anyone or inviting any questions . just sometimes . as a treat .
#hhhhHHHGHGHHHHHH#jay screams into the void#(deeply personal rant incoming feel free to ignore)#a friend of mine has just been undiagnosed with bpd which . lovely for them but it sure as fuck invites a Lot of questions#suddenly a great deal of previous shitty behaviour that was excused on the basis of bpd has a lot more to answer for#(obligatory I Know BPD Isn't An Excuse To Treat People Like Shit . im aware . i have bpd myself and i have v high standards re my behaviour)#(however allowances were made bc they were unmedicated & out of therapy through no fault of their own)#(and our whole group has enough experience with untreated mental illness to understand that it can make u a bitch sometimes)#but yeah no there have been a LOT of instances of b&w thinking + manipulation + unfair judgement + high emotion + snap reactions#and every situation Could be explained by untreated bpd and the bad times have never been prolonged or often enough to outweigh the good#but Hoo Boy if that wasn't bpd then what the FUCK was it#like either the new psychiatrist is wrong (possible but i seem to be the only one questioning it) or they're just Like That#and again . not enough to outweigh their numerous positive and loveable traits#but the whole group has been destabilised on a number of occasions due to their actions during a bad spell#and i'm really not sure Any Other Explanation is enough to justify that#ah well . this seems like the kind of thing that will eventually come up during a sleepover heart to heart#but rn i'm stuck in a bubble of MAJOR rsd & brainfuck abt it . which is unfortunate bc now is exactly the time i Don't need brainfuck#anyways ✨ goodnight tumblrinas i am . kind of hoping nobody read this bc i fear i sound like a bitch#i am genuinely happy for their undiagnosis it seems to have put many things into perspective for them & theyre v happy about it#i'm just . uncomfy w some aspects of it that i have only been halfway brave enough to discuss with them personally#That's One To Bring Up With My Therapist In A Few Weeks#Bit Of A Shame I'm No Longer In Therapy And Now Have Only 2 Quarterly Reviews Left Before I'm Discharged From The Service
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I forgot to post this haha (that's what being too busy with animation brings you oops) but anyway!! Older gussiri designs bc I think they deserved that (they did have designs in my mind but I had never made a reference for them haha)
Plus some notes on what they're up to at that age! They're so silly <333
#forgot to put this in the notes but their baby girl sunniva would be abouuuut 9 years old#no-one knows how they managed to stay together this long#siri's become the head midwife (which isn't that impressive cuz she's one of the few midwives) but she's very proud of it#she also makes a lot of their family's clothes by hand and puts little lavender pouches in everyone's beds for a good smell#gustav lost an arm in some kind of freak accident (probably that's still up for debate cuz I'm going back and forth on that detail)#(even tho it isn't exactly a detail it's like. bigger than a detail LMAO)#he's a blacksmith (surprisingly) and his workplace is a complete mess#siri brings him lunch in exchange for kisses#their daughter absolutely hates them being affectionate#sunni is often playing with trinkets at the smithery#i wanted to add a little sunni design here too but i don't have a lot of time to draw these days smh#anyways#httyd#how to train your dragon#oc#artinandwritin's art#siri vínteri#gustav larson#character designs#oc x canon#gussiri
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Are you at all familiar with and/or do you have opinions on Faustus: that Damned Woman by Chris Bush? I feel like you would have interesting thoughts on it.
PS. I can send you a copy of it if you aren't!
Kinda sorta? I always get kinda picky about Faustus gender swaps that focus it entirely on Being a Woman in a Man's World even though it's a completely sensible approach and one that you kind of have to take if you set it in the historical period, since a woman wouldn't typically have access to the kind of institutional learning that a man would. But also the author of this one tends to see the original play as a story about (male) privilege and hubris and I look at it as being at least as much about isolation and spiritual trauma (the real eternal damnation is the friends we made along the way!) and I think genderswapping that approach would probably be more interesting to me, if done well. (It could also be pretty problematic since my take on Marlowe's Faustus is that he's less ambitious than he thinks he is, because he's really just lonely and wants to do humanities outreach and dick around with his boyfriend. That's more expected from women, so "companionship is ultimately more important than ambition" isn't as interesting a take in that regard, although I think it would work better with a female-presenting Mephistopheles. But the spiritual side of it--the idea that Faustus feels he's damned anyway so why not live while he can--can cross genders quite easily.)
I dunno, possibly I'm bad at solidarity: the implicit argument that being a woman is already hell doesn't actually interest me that much, I guess? It isn't something that resonates with the way I personally experience the world, even as a cisgender woman, certainly not as much as the original play does. But that gets into my complicated relationship with my own gender so I'll just say that Bush's kind of treatment is no doubt really important/resonant for a lot of people but doesn't do it for me.
#this isn't all that interesting an answer i guess i'm sorry#i sometimes make notes for a faust adaptation that's set in modern day academia#which is basically about how academia itself requires something of a faustian bargain#the faust figure in that is female but the story isn't really about that#doctor faustus#hot faust summer#idk i often feel like i'm not perceived as a woman exactly#is 'unfuckable' a gender?#is 'fat' a gender?#so stuff about how women navigate society doesn't chime with me personally#like it's how other women experience the world but i'm some other category#anyway if social performance ever comes back i'm gonna agitate for doctor faustus until i get cast in the title role
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i think there's something to be said about what exactly it means to be "non-human" in a story that is as much about humanity as wolf 359 is, where even the dear listeners are defined less by their own perspective and more by what they fail to understand and therefore reflect about the human perspective - to the point that they don't even have their own voices or faces or identities that aren't either given to them or taken from humans. they speak to humanity as a mirror.
even pryce and cutter are "very much humans" - pryce defined by her resentment of and desire to transcend its limitations, and cutter by his aspirations to redefine and create a "better" type of human - and find the idea that they might not be human laughable. it's interesting that they have distinctly transhumanist aspirations when their goal is the narrative opposite of common science fiction fears: that we will expand the definition of humanity so much that we'll lose whatever it is that makes us human. pryce and cutter's transhumanism narrows the definition of humanity to the worthy and the useful, as defined by them; "there will still be a humanity; it'll just be our humanity."
in direct opposition to that, i think it's meaningful that the show instead expands the definition of humanity in ways that include lovelace and hera, who in another show with different themes might be considered (in the descriptive, non-moralistic sense) non-human. i will always make a point of saying that personhood and humanity are two often-related but meaningfully distinct concepts, especially when talking about sci-fi and fantasy. i am talking about humanity.
the question of how hera identifies, and what social pressures influence that, is a complicated one. i've talked about it before and i will talk about again. what's important for the purposes of this post is that i think the show considers her fundamentally human. think about her role in shut up and listen - consider jacobi's lion example and the concept of different paradigms - that even things that are close to humans, comparatively speaking, understand the world in different ways. whatever differences hera may have from the others, it's primarily in experience, not fundamental understanding. she shares their emotions, their concerns, their values, their thought patterns. she has an appreciation for music, which the show considers a hallmark of humanity. she fits within the framework of humanity as the show defines and is, in her own words, left feeling "uneasy" about how difficult it might be to communicate with beings who don't. and it's significant that this takes place in shut up and listen, of all episodes, specifically because the way she is clearly and unambiguously included in the show's understanding of what it means to be human highlights the ways she and lovelace are othered by eiffel's careless comments that suggest otherwise.
(i don't want to get too into these details for this particular post, but it's worth noting that hera will refer to 'humans' as a category, often when she is upset and feeling isolated, but has never said that she 'isn't human' - she has never been upset that people are treating her 'too' human. i've seen it said about the line "you need to get it through your heads that what goes for you doesn't always go for me", but that's a frustration related to ability and safety, not identity. far more often, she will refer to herself in 'human' terms - referring idiomatically to experiences or body parts etc. that she doesn't literally have - and is upset primarily with comments referring to her status as an AI. it does not diminish how being an AI influences her perspective and experience, but again, so much of that is in terms of ability that it feels almost inseparable from a discussion about disability.)
lovelace's humanity and hera's humanity are so interlinked and directly paralleled in the text that i think it's impossible to really argue one of them is "not" human without making implications about the other. in desperate measures, lovelace tells kepler he's "not human" and he responds "you're hilarious. on a multitude of levels." later, defending lovelace against kepler's repeated dehumanization, hera very pointedly uses the phrase "that woman." in out of the loop, hera says she's never met anyone who "worked so hard at being inhuman" as jacobi, who says "what do you know about being human?" hera very emphatically responds, "i know plenty." later, defending hera against jacobi's repeated dehumanization, minkowski pointedly uses the phrase "that woman." with the care taken towards language and the way scenes and turns of phrase will parallel each other, that's not a coincidence. it might seem strange to have the "non-human" characters be the ones to express criticisms based on perceived "humanity" (something hera will do in other contexts as well - "we don't have funerals for animals" etc.) but in the broader context of the show, i think it's the point.
so, whether hera would ever call herself human, or be comfortable with that, is a complicated question for another time and depends on a lot of other factors. but wolf 359 is a show about humanity, it includes her within its definition of what it means to be human, and i wouldn't be comfortable definitively saying she's not human because of that. it can't be a neutral statement within the particular context of this show.
#wolf 359#w359#hera wolf 359#there are so many concepts here that could be posts on their own#but this is already too long. sorry.#i think it's also worth noting how often i see the discussion of hera and humanity conflated with the discussion of#whether hera would want a body and while i think there's some degree of influence in that. if she has human experiences without human form#there's something uniquely isolating about that that could influence her decision. BUT. the form she exists or doesn't exist in#is separate from whether the show includes her within its 'in group' of humanity. which thematically it does.#hera can be considered equally human without ever having any type of physical form. that's part of expanding the definition#and i think that's an important distinction.#anyway sorry i'm kind of passionate about this it just. doesn't quite sit right with me i guess#in a lot of cases i think it's important to acknowledge that non-human characters have different experiences from human ones and#a lot of science fiction will (or should) decentralize the human experience. but it's core to the themes of wolf 359. it's different.#i think hera is so interesting as a take on the 'human AI' character because. the mistake a lot of them make is having a character#'learn how to be human' and it feels patronizing. but hera is. a fundamentally human person who has been told she isn't#and internalized that. and i think that's much more complex and. well. human. i know she's just a fictional character but#i can't help but feel a little defensive sometimes#it's also part of a larger discussion but feeling inhuman is a not uncommon human experience. it is within those bounds
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#i could try to write a cohesive caption but im tired and sad so messy notes in the tags it is#spn#liveblog tag#12.22#it shouldnt have felt like such a weight off to hear dean recount how much pain sam's experienced like this but it was#saying ''he lost his soul'' like it was indeed something awful that happened To him as opposed to a ''mistake'' he made#< which is how he's brought it up to sam himself in past seasons#funny that it seems he's only able to acknowledge sam's suffering when sam isn't present. moreover - only when dean's suffering is#centered as well. inextricable from sam's bc of their shared upbringing#and only when there is a more culpable figure to bear the brunt of dean's feelings (often john and now for the first time mary)#she was dragged back to earth as a gift For You. she doesn't fit and the family she knew is gone and you have an idea of her in your head#that she will never be able to mirror in real life bc that mary never existed#and she's been tortured and brainwashed into killing people she knows and she's trapped in her own mind trying to seek solace in#a happy memory - a vestige of heaven which is a vestige of life#and she has no choice but to listen as you rip into her heart for choices that she already hates herself for#sam/mary parallels holding strong but as always sam got the short end of the stick#anyway. ow :)#tag vomit
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things the US needs to address:
the collective psychosis that leads people to make posts like these
#in case it's unclear what i mean:#1.) blaming gen z men or any of the listed grifters is useless idpol#2.) half of your country did not 'vote against [your] collective best interests' lmao#if you truly believe that you have a fundamental misunderstanding of the position your country occupies in the global economy#and the benefits conferred onto its citizens for supporting the imperial world order#3.) i feel like OP kept this point purposefully vague (ofc social media has on effect on the common good. what effect specifically?)#but i'll still respond by saying#social media has helped immensely in exposing how often traditional news outlets lie retract revise and outright fabricate information#the more aligned with bourgeois interests they are the worse it is#the past year of western media's reporting on the genocide in palestine has done nothing if not highlight the incongruence#between what people see n share on the ground and what narratives corporate interests deem fit to disseminate through traditional channels#the importance of following independent (which does not equal 'unbiased') journalists has never been greater#4.) 'lazy minds and lack of empathy' empathy is not some bulwark against fascism. it can actually serve to further it quite easily#idk what OP is trying to get at here. lazy point = lazy response#5.) i can't say anything here that isn't summed up better by that tweet that's like#'american *sees something american happening americanly in america*: what are we a bunch of ASIANS?!?!???'#cause there's just nooo way politicians and public figures in the US could spew reactionary nonsense and get a huge following#unless the evil russians had a hand in it#cause it's not like the US is racism central or anything#come on now#(for those unaware i'm citing this tweet bc orientalism of this kind has historically been directed at russians/slavs in addition to#people from MENA and asian countries broadly)#6.) see point number 3 above; trying to police AI is a fruitless endeavor; people need media literacy in order to#understand the interests of the parties involved in the coverage of any event and better discern the truth about what's happening;#identifying the bias inherent to any news channel and then examining how that bias impacts its reporting does far more to help dispel#misinformation than just labeling anything you don't like or you think influences people the 'wrong' way as misinformation#anyway i'm done. clown.#sansgwilie
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(whispering) byan cries when given homecooked food
#like 75% of the time anyway. and that's only assuming they accepted the offering of food in the first place#a lot of the time (unless they're desperate) they reject food offers except from those who have gained a certain amount of trust#bc it feels too vulnerable to accept it. better to pretend they're fine.#anyway of you cook the food specifically for them you bump the chances of tears to 90%#if*#they will try so hard to stop it though. and then try even harder to hide it.#you'll probably see them with their head lowered too close to the plate so their bangs cover their eyes and their face isn't really in view#they don't get homemade often okay?? and the number of times it happens lowers further each year#...at least until they meet lena and sol who start cooking for them fairly regularly#but u get me with this. homecooked food hits fucking DIFFERENT when you've never gotten it consistently.#they've come to tie food like that to the concept of family. which is obviously not something they've had consistently#(and even then some families wouldn't cook much. others barely provided them with food.)#just!!!! byan has some issues when it comes to food!!!#and I have a lot of thoughts about it but I'm a lil too high to elaborate all that coherently lmao#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ headcanon ⋮ danger in the fabric of this thing i made.
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Kinktober Day 23 & 26: "Bondage/Restraints" & "Voyeurism/Exhibitionism" - For OTP: "Femme Fatale and the Apex" (Sonya x Jennifer)
Tagged by @socially-awkward-skeleton @imogenkol and @josephseedismyfather
Tagging @adelaidedrubman @spookyrares @derelictheretic @inafieldofdaisies @noodlecupcakes @direwombat @voidika @cassietrn @aceghosts @icecutioner @shallow-gravy @strangefable @statichvm @cloudofbutterflies92 @carlosoliveiraa @wrathfulrook @ladyoriza @la-grosse-patate @thewanderer-000 @omen-speaker @alypink @shellibisshe @josephslittledeputy @skoll-sun-eater @g0dspeeed @afarcryfrommymain @strafethesesinners @turbo-virgins and @florbelles + anyone else who want to join.
Prompt based on this kinktober post made by fellow mutual @starsandskies. While the main Kink of this post is "Bondage/Restraints" & some "Voyeurism/Exhibitionism", there's also some minor inclusions of "Dirty Talk", "Orgasm Control", "Praise Kink", "Knife Play" and "Dom/Sub dynamic". I would have put down "Naked-Clothed" but the "clothed" person in question is an almost 10-foot tall cyborg beastie (with a human's brain) whose only covering is metal welded into the flesh so... SHRUG!
Anyway, SimpleGenius here from my Life, Despair & Monsters Blog. Just making my first contribution to Kinktober. I'm not really an excessive smut writer, though with that being said, I have written it on occasion, just never posting it (...until now). This is a oneshot devoted to Sonya and Jennifer just being their kinky selves.
From the mature tag and the title you can probably already guess that this oneshot (which will also be uploaded onto my AO3 as well) contains explicitly sexual content meant for 18+ users only. Minors Do Not Interact!
Here's some more warnings to scare off any stowaways.
CW: Explicit BDSM, Teasing/edging, stripping, (tail???) knife play, the equivalent of thigh riding for these two (but on Sonya's tail), naked female with not kind of non-naked female (there's like barbie physiques/anatomy involved with Sonya), and minor mention of a blood kink (unsurprisingly Jennifer's kind of a freak too). Basically monster-fucking (maybe robot-fucking? Or would it be cyborg-monster fucking???). A mix between praise and degradation kinks. Sexual fantasies. Really freaky behavior coming from these two. But very enthusiastic consent! Also vulgar language. And whatever else there is.
I’ve tried my best to research the sex aspect of it all, and even if I don’t believe it’s all accurate I think I did good with what I could find.
TW: Slight mentions of referenced murder and maybe cannibalism (Sonya's got a human brain inside a very non-human body so I don't know what lines that crosses). And minor implications of a toxic dynamic. They're both possessive people who suck so bad.
With that out of the way, I hope you do enjoy what I've written below the cut. This will officially be my first smut that I've publicly published. I'll be sure to reblog this post with the link to the one that'll be posted on my AO3. Also I'll be publishing another Kinktober Oneshot shortly after this one from my @the-silver-chronicles blog, about the main couple of that series, Silva and Faith. So don't be alarmed by a random ping from an icon you may or may not recognize.
Title: The Tails That Bind
Series: Life, Despair & Monsters (Love Death + Robots)
Character/s: Sonya/Sonnie | The Apex/Khanivore (re-interpreted canon character with OC qualities), Jennifer, Dicko (referenced in passing) and Sir Enigma Malvolio (referenced OC).
Words: 5,635
She heard her before she saw her; the click-clack of heels on marble closing in to their quarters.
Sonya remained where she was though; hanging from the ceiling in the expansive space that was refurbished to specifically accommodate her massive form, the high walls adorned with deep claw marks and scrapes she entrenched her talons and tail spikes into. Certainly, better than the restrictive pod or the dirty paddocks.
In contrast to her usual straightforwardness, when it came to dealing with her "mistress" of all people, Sonya made an effort in entertaining her more dramatic flairs.
If only to piss off the shrewd woman.
The door opened with such force that when Sonya peeked through her only optic, shutters uncoiling from her lens, to witness the blonde slam the door shut with a ferocity that immediately turned her on.
Someone's already pissy today, Sonya noted as she continued to observe with growing interest.
Jennifer turned around, short blonde hair barely touching her shoulders, noticeably a little frazzled with a few more wild strands curling out than usual. Her yellow rose still managed to survive staying pinned in her hair in spite of the fact Jennifer looked on the verge of ripping her hair out.
Her brows were furrowed, her face was scrunched in anger and a lovely snarl adorned her lips. Blue eyes darted to her white laced gloves, ripping them off as she mumbled curses under her breath. Sonya's optic lingered on the curves of her body, covered only by the golden dress Jennifer preferred to wear.
Sonya preferred when she didn't wear anything. Ogling Jennifer had been the closest her human brain could get to experiencing arousal within a body that wasn't designed to feel it. She had to get creative and tamper with many of the strange machinations and codes Malvolio left in her cursed Beastie body to at least have her body acknowledge the feelings.
In spite of this, she was still so far from reaching her goal of actually feeling the satisfactory conclusion of pleasure.
"-that old fuck!" Sonya was brought back to reality by the enraged outburst from Jennifer.
"Which old fuck are you referring to this time?" Sonya spoke in a voice more mature and sophisticated than her original gruff and accented voice, the crackling of the speaker embedded in her throat alerting Jennifer to the other presence in the room.
Jennifer's alarmed blue eyes pointedly gazed up to meet her gleaming red optic. However, she relaxed once she saw it was just Sonya, who uncoiled herself to lower her body, but refrained from leaving the ceiling just yet.
"It's one of Dicko's closer business partners," Jennifer told the Apex, kneeling down to take off her heels, "And I thought you were down in your workshop."
That doesn't narrow it down to who it is at all, Sonya wanted to retort, but chose to respond with, "I was, but it's so hot down there that I decided to seek out the coolest room I knew of."
"The wonders of an air con," Jennifer remarked, moving over to her vanity desk to set down her yellow rose from her hair.
Sonya rolled her optic at the snide comment, and returned her attention back to the source of Jennifer's sour mood, "Which one of Dicko's partners had it been? Ross or Carmen?"
"Ross. Carmen took a vacation, lucky bastard," Jennifer grumbled about the latter, though the former's name was spoken with disgust, "He was countering every proposition I made. Questioning my ability as a successor to Dicko's business. And attempting to belittle me in front of every one of those weak and cowardly geezers. The absolute gall!"
Sonya lowered herself above the bed, talons underneath her jaw as she watched her mistress rage. If she could, she'd be squeezing her thighs together to add a little friction. Unfortunately, her body wasn't included with genitals, and rubbing her thighs together in this body would just be pointless, so she could only visualize the image to force herself from screaming internally.
"The fucker was also leering at me. Almost all of them were," Jennifer continued, sitting down onto the foot of her massive mattress with a huff.
"I don't blame them," Sonya replied, extending her neck so her head was close above Jennifer, "Your body is desirable. You're probably the only woman in their life they can jack off to. I know that's what I'd be doing."
Jennifer abruptly turned with a face full of red; not blushing red, but pissed off red.
"Oh, fuck you," she replied, standing up to move away from Sonya and the bed.
"You'd have to beg me for that," Sonya said in a sing-song rhythm, chortling.
Jennfier crossed her arms as she stewed in her anger more, "This is serious. I know they're conspiring against me. Honestly, I wish I could have them all dead by tomorrow morning."
Sonya piqued at that, red optic widening with optimism.
"You know, if Ross is being so bothersome," she spoke up, her next words a suggestion, "I could eat him for you."
Jennifer turned to look at the beastie, opened her mouth to chide her, but closed it as she considered the idea, a smile crossing her lips, until a frown swiftly replaced it, and she shook her head.
"While I certainly wouldn't be against the idea," she told the Apex with sincere consideration, she rebuked the idea, "I can't just make an example out of him. At least not right now. I require his cooperation to gain access to his assets, and if I killed him now, it'd harm my reputation and standing with the other partners. And without them, we won't have a chance of finding Malvolio."
The very name of that... thing made Sonya's entire nervous system shudder, the dark thoughts resurfacing. She let them fester at the edge of her mind, before dispelling them back to the pits. She'll let them re-emerge once they found the creature; let him face the result of his violation towards her body.
Jennifer huffed out a sigh, which returned Sonya's attention back to her even as she went to make her leave, "I need to let off some steam."
Sonya tilted her head as she watched Jennifer pause just a step away from the door. The woman's blue eyes glanced back to the beastie, gaze following the Apex's elongated muscled arms, thick metal-plated tails, their twitching rattles near the piercing pincers and closed sharp jaw.
She bit her bottom lip, her hands slid down to her hips as she slowly strutted back over to Sonya.
"You know," Jennifer said as she reached the bed, "I just remembered how I never thanked you for stopping that assassin. And a good beast like you deserves a fitting reward for protecting her mistress so well."
Sonya cocked her head, red optic narrowing down at Jennifer. Sonya remembered the incident clearly; there had been a scorned bidder who lost because of Dicko's fateful mistake of convincing them to bet a lot of money against Malvolio. He managed to slip past Jennifer's guards and got too close for Sonya's liking.
Luckily, the Apex was on Jennifer's patrol guard, and she had spotted the glint of the knife before it had even left its sheath. Fittingly, she gave the man the same end she gave Dicko when saving her mistress; a biting introduction to her maw.
But that had been several weeks ago.
"Is that so?" Sonya inquired, wishing she had a brow to raise.
Jennifer only nodded, wetting her petite lips. She slid two fingers on both hands underneath her dress' loose straps, letting them fall limply down her arms to expose more skin. She reached behind her back, tugging the zip down behind her dress so she could loosen her front, exposing a small amount of cleavage to the Apex.
Sonya was surprised of her own self-control when her lens zoomed in on the skin, how calm and collected she managed to breathe. She restrained herself though; she had too much pride in herself to lay down and roll over like a dog.
No, she had a better idea.
"Oh, don't bullshit me with your "reasoning" darling, you just want me to fuck your brains out until you forget your own name and can't remember your troubles in the morning," Sonya retorts, her talons touching the ground as she leans over the bed, bringing her head closer to Jennifer's face.
There was no fear in her mistress' eyes, only a waiting expectation and a carnality that involuntarily made the Apex shake in excitement. Sonya continued, "If you think you can flatter me into getting between your legs, then I encourage you to resume because it is working."
Jennifer grinned in triumph as she proceeded to pull her zipper down further, but halted when Sonya added, "However, as I said before, it'll require you to beg."
Jennifer scoffed and shook her head, "I'm not doing that. You fuck me, or you don't. Your choice."
Despite her confidence, Sonya saw through her act and huffed out a disappointed steam of air as she started retracting backwards, "Oh well, I guess I won't-"
With her bluff blown, Jennifer's eyes widened as she reached forward for the Apex's face, pleading, "Wait! Fuck, fine, please fuck me. Please plow my pussy with your long, flexible and magnificent tongue until my mind goes blank. Make me scream your name each time you make me cum. I'll do anything you want, Sonya."
Sonya wished she could grin just as badly as she wished she could get wet right now.
She decided to put an end to her mistress' misery.
"Since you begged so desperately for it, I guess I have no choice but to fuck your brains out," Sonya concurred, and hummed, "But I'm curious... you'll do anything I want?"
Jennifer paused, narrowed her eyes in challenge, and responded, "Yes. I'll... try whatever you want, as long as I get fucked in the end. Sound like a fair exchange?"
Sonya nodded and tapped a talon on her chin in thought. There weren't much things her body could be used for during sex that wouldn't be detrimental to Jennifer's health, with exception to her tongue and the rattles under her curved blades that tipped her tails.
Although, she recalled the night she and Jennifer had met and began their cooperation, specifically to the moment where the Apex had Jennifer restrained with her tails, That has been something I've wanted to do again.
Gaining an idea, she replied, "You know, I've been wanting to try some bondage on you."
Jennifer's face scrunched in confusion until Sonya's tails disconnected from the walls and awaited by the Apex's sides. There were three in total, all tipped with dagger like pincers, and two rattles that resided near the curve of the blade, which she's been allowed to use like a vibrator before.
Jennifer once again bit her bottom lip while she thought of those around her body.
"I have no complaints," she tells the beastie, though frowns at the state of the bed, "Though I'm not getting naked until the bed's cleared of your mess."
Sonya knelt up so she could get a better look at the bed. Her optic immediately spotted the dust and chips of the ceiling that managed to fall down.
Without much patience, Sonya took the solution of using her tails to tip the bed to the side and shake off all the unwanted variables, before setting it back down normally.
"That better?" she asked.
Jennifer looked at the newest state of her large bed, which now lacked the pillows and blankets that were unceremoniously tossed off. Though seeing that the silk sheets remained on, all Jennifer responded with was a calm yet exasperated, "Sure."
Sonya positioned herself closer to the wall of the bed's frame, knelt down so she wouldn't cover most of the bed's space when her head laid down, while also keeping her tails free and ready.
Jennifer crawled onto the bed, swaying her body seductively while she made her way over to the Apex's head, which allowed the straps of her golden dress to loosen further down, just above her elbows. The front of her dress barely hung close to her chest, and Sonya swore she felt her brain overheat when her optic focused on the view of more of Jennifer's cleavage barely hidden by the loose clothes.
Jennifer got close enough to the Apex's face just to lean upwards until she sat at her bare heels, one hand going behind to zip her dress down the rest of the way, while the other kept the front of her dress from falling down. Sonya slightly tilted her head up so her optic could capture everything.
"I know how excited you've been for this," Jennifer purred as she gazed into the red hue of Sonya's optic, "I know you've been craving to see these again."
She pulled one strap down all the way, and then freed her arm of the other, before grabbing her the front of her dress and pulling the golden gown down, slightly jiggling free her petite perky tits. Sonya shook with a passionate eagerness at the visual image, just about all her mind could express through the body without pouncing onto Jennifer to forgo the bondage altogether.
She wanted to restrain herself, to prolong this just long enough to enjoy the experience and ensure she actually succeeds in listening to Jennifer's only demand.
"I know you've missed them," Jennifer swayed her chest, catching the Apex full attention. She grabbed hold of her breasts, massaging and giving her tits a pleasing yet playful squeeze as Sonya observed, winding herself up while putting on a show for her beastie. She gasped as she flicked her nipples, gently twisting them between her fingers as the tingling sensations caused her thighs to rub together.
She was enjoying herself now, and from how she looked at Sonya's quivering form, she knew the Apex enjoyed this show as well.
Jennifer stood up, dragging her hands over her breasts as she brought them across the skin of her body, the ticklish senses stirring a heat to coil within her. She performed a sensual dance in view of Sonya's optic, bringing her hands down to her hips where her dress hung closely, thumbs digging under the gown's hem, teasingly dragging it below her pelvis.
She spun around in her erotic sway, much to Sonya's surprise, but leaned down as she dragged the rest of her dress over her sexy ass, nothing worn underneath. She let the golden gown fall the rest of the way and glanced back at Sonya's now widened optic. With a pleased smirk, Jennifer gave herself a resounding smack against one of the cheeks.
Sonya's talons scraped against the marble floor. She clenched her jaw as she clutched hold over her fraying self-control, deciding that Jennifer's teasing needed to end here.
Thankfully, it was just about time Jennifer finished her little striptease for Sonya, and her blonde mistress knelt on her heels, dainty hands grabbing hold one of the alien protrusions coming out the Apex's head and underneath the narrow chin of her sharp jaw respectively, intentionally pressing her petite breasts against the optic as she leaned her head down to a small slit beside Sonya's frame to sultrily whisper in her audio receptors.
"What now, Sonnie?"
The lustful softness of her nickname snapped Sonya out of her patient observations, and she lifted her head up out of Jennifer's hold so her red optic could meet her mistress' blue eyes below.
"Now, I'll require you to turn around," Sonya instructed, her tails moving closer to the bed, "Make sure your arms are crossed behind you, and legs spread apart."
Jennifer turned around as instructed; not without doing a little show of shaking her ass temptingly as she settled into the position. Sonya was fueled with even more excitement of the opportunity of returning some teasing of her own.
Jennifer crossed her arms behind her, and Sonya immediately coiled her middle tail around the smaller woman's waist which then extended to her dainty hands, earning a surprise yelp from her mistress as her arms were secured tightly.
"Do you trust me?" Sonya let the question out softly at the shell of Jennifer's ear, her middle tail's blade carefully and gently stroking its cool steel-like tip down the human's back. The bladed pincer soon curved to brush one of mistress' lower cheeks, sensing her body clench at the sensual contact on instinct while the other tails began to coil under and around her thighs, "To release your doubts? To let go of all your inhibitions?"
With me, Sonya left unsaid. She shunned the thought... the very emotion infecting it, aside to the corners of her mind. No need to mix feelings with pleasure. Especially when she was nothing more than a thing to Jennifer...
As both tails snaked up from Jennifer's thighs to her upper body, the left pincer delicately scraped along her stomach while the right began to curl around her right breast with the blade leaving a ghost of a kiss to her jaw in passing.
Jennifer gasped out a light moan when her middle tail began to rub against her wet cunt, in a back and forth motion, ensuring the blade's sharpness did not touch the soft flesh. Soon the sleek metal was glistened with her slickness.
"Fuck, yes," Jennifer answered approvingly, rocking her wet cunt in unison of the tail. She bit her bottom lip to suppress another moan as the left and right tipped tails coiled around her tits, the appendages lightly playing with her breasts with deliberate twists and squeezes, the blades lightly kissing along the sensitive flesh.
Sonya focused on the priority of not piercing the skin with her tipped blades. She teased the flesh with an expertise akin to a surgeon, with her only intent of not cutting in and letting Jennifer bleed.
God forbid Jennifer cums early to the sight of her own blood because Sonya got sloppy. The Apex wanted to prolong this for her own sense of pleasure as well.
Soon her tails lifted up Jennifer, much to the smaller woman's surprise. Sonya raised her above the beastie's head, claws brought on to the bed in case the Apex had to catch her.
Slowly, she rotated Jennifer upside-down so her optic could get a better look at her reactions. To her delight, Jennifer squirmed in her grip, like last time. Unlike last time, the cause of her squirming came from the vibrating rattles that grazed closer to her swelling clit, the tipped blade positioned to poke above her trimmed blonde pubic hair.
Jennifer whined when the rattles on the left and right tails began to move, flicking her erect nipples between the vibrating pair on both coiled tails. She tried to arch her back into the vibrating sensations, as well as attempted to widen her legs so the rattles on the middle tail would have more space, but Sonya kept her restrained in position, brushing the rattles to her wet puffy pussy but never staying for long. She was completely at Sonya's mercy.
Much to the younger woman's growing frustration. A frustration that transitioned into a filthy, primal need.
Sonya was enticed by the desperate whines that escaped Jennifer's mouth, her red optic hungrily filling it's view of her elevated bare body; held up by her, restrained by her, receiving and being denied pleasure from her.
She focused on the blonde's gaping pouts, faint blush forming across her face, her blonde hair flowing downwards. Sonya's tongue flicked within her closed maw at the sight of sweat beginning to break from her mistress' body, who uselessly rutted her hips in the air to reach the teasing rattles, how pronounced her small breasts were from their bound state and the slick juices surrounding her pussy.
Sonya's entire system felt a fluctuation of pleasure within herself from the visual stimuli. It wouldn't be enough to ever reach a satisfying conclusion, though it was fun, nonetheless. When her audio receptors picked up pleading mewls coming from Jennifer, Sonya knew it was nearly time to settle her part of this exchange.
"What was that?" Sonya playfully inquired, listening to the words being interrupted by soft gasps whenever her rattles vibrated too close to her sensitive cunt and swollen clit, "I can't hear what you’re trying to say over such lewd sounds darling. Could you perhaps speak up?”
Through shaky breaths, Jennifer swallowed her murmured pleas and choked out a strained, "Sonya... I don't know how much longer I can do this. I want to cum. Please, it's unbearable, let me cum already. Stop teasing and fuck me!"
Sonya ate up her begging cries; she could see a glimpse of forming tears at her eyes. She briefly wondered if she should just wait long enough for her mistress to start crying, so she could bring out her tongue and lap up the falling tears. She hadn't kissed the woman's face with her tongue in a while, it could be a nice change of pace to show she cared-
As quickly as that idea came, Sonya dismissed the thought with a visceral fear? rejection. If she did that, then she wouldn't stop at the tasteful tears; she'd continue stroking her tongue along Jennifer's sweaty and salty unmarked flesh, until she got down to between her thighs and fed on the fluids there.
She could make Jennifer cry from pleasure then, sure; but she didn't want to use her tongue to have the woman undone, she wanted her mistress gushing from her very touch.
Sonya refocused on Jennifer once more, her helpless form cursing underneath her breath as her breasts were continuously played with while her pussy received nothing but teasing touches that edged her on but denied her true release.
Sonya hummed, feigning pondering in thought, as she took a sweet moment to bask in the wanton whimpers that were caused by her.
"How badly do you want this?" Sonya asked her, bringing her red optic to Jennifer's pleading blue eyes, "How desperate are you to want to be undone by a terrible beast like me? Say it..."
Those two husky, imploring, eager words made Jennifer shiver, feeling hotter. Through the haze, she rasped out with a sense of urgent need she's never spoken in before, "I can think of no one else who can satisfy me like you..."
Though caught off-guard, Sonya was not unsatisfied with the answer. She absorbed those words into the very core of her mind, sparking a renewed sense of determination.
"Well then," the beastie said, Jennifer's words lingering on the precipices of her audio receptors, feeling her "heart" pump faster, "I think you've endured enough teasing. You deserve this for being such a good, patient girl."
Jennifer shrieked in surprise when the vibrating rattles were buried against her slick folds and sensitive clit. However, when the initial shock wore off, it was replaced with an alluring moan, followed by a symphony of gasps, the short bursts of pleased shouts, and the sweet curses that she managed through her panting. She closed her eyes and started to arch her back again, and this time Sonya adjusted her tails grip to accommodate Jennifer's position.
It wouldn't be long until she was finished. Though Sonya decided to speed up the process by taking advantage of one of Jennifer's weaknesses; her voice.
"You should see yourself," Sonya husked out, her voice thick with lust, "How fucking enrapturing you are right now. Above here, bound by me, fucked by me, you look like a goddess. Oh, your little noises make it so tempting to ravish your flesh and pussy so I can make you scream louder."
Jennifer failed to suppress the whiny, pathetic whimper with a tender lip bite, and Sonya snickered at the reaction.
"Oh, but it's true," Sonya responded, the quills along her back standing up, elated by such noises as she continued, "Though I never realized how restraining you like this could bring out even more beautiful noises from you. I could just have you like this whenever you're being so bratty. Rip that dress off. Bind your limbs. Tease your wet cunt, edging it as you rut like a bitch in heat chasing after that final release. But it'll never come. More accurately, you'll never cum."
The image of Jennifer on her knees in this bedroom, writhing in the restraints of Sonya's tail, desperately begging her to end the torment, brought a familiar sense of sadism into her system. However, she did feel an odd sensation of heat rise in her body.
She returned back to the assignment at hand, the heat radiating at the back of her mind as she hummed and said, "Oh can you envision it, Jennifer? How much of a writhing, filthy mess you'd be? You'd be left unsatisfied, without release. Not unless you crawled onto your knees and begged so pitifully. Maybe alone. Maybe not. But tell me, if you were to do that, should I give in and fuck you like I do now?"
A resounding and gasping "YES" was Jennifer's response as her hips jutted at the rattles faster. So close now...
"Such an enthusiastic answer. You must be so close now," Sonya noted, not noticing her own jaw gaping open as her red optic recorded Jennifer's unravelling, "You've taken me so well this far. Letting me taste you, ruin you. So strong and resilient. With the most perfect body just for me. You do these filthy activities so impressively, as a naughty girl like you should. Oh, I love the way your flesh bruises and reddens and scars from me. I love the taste of your tears, of your sweat and of your juices. And I love how loud I make you scream and cry and moan. Especially when the only word coming out of your mouth is my name. Makes me fantasize doing it all in front of everyone. What say you? Perhaps on a live hologram broadcast during a Beastie tournament? In the storage unit for all the passing guards and personnel to listen to? Or maybe in a meeting with those morons who dare to ogle you-?"
Sonya was interrupted by an abrupt and approving moan, which slipped into a pleased humming smile from Jennifer.
"Oh? You like that idea? Is that what you want?" Sonya inquired with an endeared curiosity, surprised by the quick nod that followed, "Does it turn you on? At the thought of me fucking you in front of those leering senile men? My, my. What a dirty little slut you are, wanting to be humiliated by me so desperately that you would want those old fucks to see how good I make you feel. Or perhaps it because you want to show them that you're mine. For me, and me alone. No one else. Maybe in one of your next meetings, I'll accompany you. And whenever you go to speak, I'll be behind you, my long, flexible and magnificent tongue lapping at the nape of your neck, nibbling at the flesh with teasing little bites, my claws digging at your glimmering dress. One tail snaking under your skirt. Maybe I'll leave small cuts in passing, letting that lovely crimson run down those fine legs of yours. But once that tail reaches its destination, I'll let the vibrations tease your wet cunt until your legs begin to wobble."
"I'll tear open the front of your dress, let those ravishing tits of yours breathe within a room where they've been dreamed about for so long, except the only one having any fun with them there will be me," Sonya had a tail squeeze promisingly around one of Jennifer's tits as emphasis, "I'll have another tail play with one while my tongue lavishes the other. Don't worry, I'll have my last tail free to ensure none of them stop us, and no one leaves, bound by their pathetic fear. I'll rip your dress off, exposing your body to them all, let them see how dripping fucking wet you are for me, and I'll pick you up, bring you to the table, splayed out like a feast ready to be dined. But only for one though."
She pressed her closed jaw to whisper, "None of them will touch you. We'll show them how well you take me. How beautiful you sing my name. How much you enjoy being fucked dirty by me, and how good of a naughty girl you are to me. Show them you find more pleasure whoring yourself to a beastie than being touched by any of their limp dicks. Reveal your deadliness to them, unleash your claws and mark my metal with your scratches as I leave my own marks along your beautiful body. I bet their hearts would give out at the sight. I don't think their weak pride could take it. The fact you'd cum to a- disgu- terrible monst- beast like me, wouldn't you agree, my sexy- gorgeous- beautif- fucking - goddes- belov- m-!"
Everything was so unbearably hot. Her mind seemed to be on some kind of fritz, just like her voice box. Diagnostics on the system returned with nothing of issue, nor of any errors.
And yet Sonya felt so unbelievably strained from the task at hand. As if exhaustion of all things was overcoming her body as she continued to bring Jennifer closer to her release.
And her voice box. She didn't understand what was wrong with it. It bugged out, replacing words she wanted to say with those she'd never in her life say to Jennifer. But most importantly...
Was that my voice? Not her current voice, the one she was forced to adopt, but the one that Malvolio stole from her.
It didn't matter much, focusing on it was too much of a strain while she was fucking Jennifer at the same time. She refocused her efforts in bringing her mistress over the edge.
Luckily, she didn't have to wait long.
Her words, in combination to the unrelenting rattles fucking her pussy and fondling her breasts, had culminated in Jennifer arching her back more while screaming out Sonya's name, accompanied by the gushing squirts onto the Apex's tail.
Witnessing the result, Sonya swiftly stopped the rattles and brought Jennifer down to the bed safely. She managed to lay the woman down onto her front before her usually durable limbs failed her. She caught herself from laying on top of Jennifer, and carefully positioned herself to lay down by Jennifer's left.
Both beastie and mistress heaved for air, the activity exhausting for both parties involved, much to Sonya's bafflement.
They laid beside each other, just for the moment, to catch their breath.
Jennifer opened her blue eyes to just gaze at the Apex, eyes taking in Sonya's strangely exhausted form. She brushed a strand of her now messy and sweaty blonde hair aside, let out a little laugh, and said, "That was... amazing."
Sonya grunted in agreement, unable to currently verbalize. She did use enough strength to bring the tipped middle tail to her view, the rattles and the curved blade under it glimmering in Jennifer's juices, not dissimilar to the woman's dress.
She opened her jaw to bring her tongue out, cleaning up the slick fluids. She rumbled approvingly at the sweetly sour taste.
Her audio receptors picked up on the soft sound of a slick pussy being gently stroked. Sonya looked over to see Jennifer still staring at her but with a newfound hunger. Sonya noticed that her ass was slightly bent up, with one of her hands massaging her cunt.
"You look so hot when you do that," she husked out, and Sonya felt her exhaustion dissipate when Jennifer asked, "Do you want to put that tongue to better use?"
Sonya tilted her head, her lens focusing on Jennifer's face, "Round two? Now?"
"Don't you remember what we agreed on? "Until my mind goes blank", "until I forget my own name" and "can't remember my troubles in the morning"," Jennifer recalled, and in that sultry mocking tone of hers, "Or are you tapping out after round one?"
A new edge burned within Sonya, and she leaned up, looking down at Jennifer's nude body, asking, "Is that a challenge?"
Jennifer though playfully shrugged, spreading her legs wider as she continued stroking herself with hushed breathy moans.
Sonya took the opportunity to place her right hand over on the other side of Jennifer, until she was above the woman. She retracted until she was staring at both her mistress' sexy ass and her glistened pussy.
Blue eyes glanced to Sonya's observing form, and removed her slick-covered hand, caressing it on one of her ass cheeks before giving it a smack to entice the beastie, as she returned her hand to under her chin.
Sonya let out an amused chuckle as she took out her tongue. However, she pressed it from her mistress' tail bone all the way up her spine, the heat and wetness of the elongated and rough bio-mechanical muscle causing Jennifer to gasp and shiver from its texture.
Sonya lowered herself so she was right on top of her mistress, her gaping jaw releasing a soft exhale of hot steam brush at the woman's ear.
"You're not going to make it to any meetings tomorrow," Sonya informed her mistress.
Jennifer only smirked at her words, not returning a reply as she got comfortable. The beastie retracted back to where her mistress needed her the most.
Though unnecessary, Sonya couldn't help but lick around her mouth as she prepared to satiate her hunger, as well as Jennifer's.
[A/n] And from there on, Jennifer decided bondage was an excellent excuse to get out of a meeting she didn't want to attend the next day.
I wanna say that I may have gone a bit overboard, but overboard is just in-character for them (at least in my series).
#series: life despair & monsters#fic: the tails that bind#love death + robots#sonnie's edge#kinktober 2024#oc: sonya#ld+r sonnie#ldr sonnie#ld+r jennifer#ldr jennifer#otp: femme fatale and the apex#as stated before I'm not the biggest smut writer as I prefer more plot and lore stuff#so my motivation regarding smut often fluctuates inconsistently while i vibe better with plot heavy stories#although i did try my best to fit in at least a little bit about their characters and a tiny mention towards their main plot#this is like an in-between scene for them.#canon or non-canon? doesn't really matter given the context of all my series.#here's me writing about a ship that is non-existent on ao3 and fanfic.net and even wattpad#like i've only found one fic that actually pairs these two from their source material of these two#you'd expect the toxic yuri writers to be writing paragraphs upon paragraphs of these two but NO instead i find sonnie paired with male ocs#even though in the show sonnie's only shown interest in one woman and kissed one woman and was going to fuck one woman too.#that being jennifer... before she stabbed sonnie through the skull that is (she lived but jennifer and dicko don't)#i tried to at least include some of my main series' themes into this oneshot.#most specifically something i expand upon from the source material: that being “the violation of the human body”#(which more often than not focused on women's bodies which isn't something i want to ignore even if i want to explore men's own too)#like fuck dicko in my series specifically and in the source material#but sir enigma malvolio is the definition of “i'm going to mutilate you so fucking traumatically and i expect you to thank me”#malvolio may not violate people sexually (something both jennifer and sonya have experienced) but he will change their bodies irreversibly#which is just as bad as sonya is now a mass of bio-cybernetics made to fight and jennifer is one clone of a dead girl dicko had pimped out.#anyway when dicko and malvolio are no longer in control of jennifer and sonya respectively (one 6ft under & the other gets out of dodge)#and since jennifer wants control of her life while sonya wants to be of use there is a constant power imbalance that shifts between them.
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