#which is why we're friends!! i've had shitty friends a lot before and it's weird to feel how great my good friends make me feel

[greyskyflowers]

Power dynamic/BDSM relationships between crew members appeals to me incredibly.

Let me attempt to walk through this.

I think this is going to end up being more informative than anything else but it helps build the groundwork for a later post if people want it.

⛓️

It's so important to be aware of the other person/people in power dynamic relationships and/or when engaging in play.

I live in a big city and I've been active in the kink community here. Classes, munches, events, etc. I've seen demonstrations and play of all kinds. Seriously, some wild stuff. I've also both been in a power dynamic relationship and have had good friends in them.

And friends, it's not the same as fanfic. I'm not going to preach because to be honest, it's not my problem. If you hurt yourself or someone else because you thought a under negotiated scene/relationship would be a good idea, that's on you. Educate yourself.

⛓️

I remember my first big event, they all the newbies attend this little class at the start. They went over what to expect, where things were, who to look for if we needed help, general safety and all that good stuff.

First reminder was about limits and how important it was to be very specific. Which seemed a little like a duh moment but one of the leaders had a story with it.

Someone, who had been at one of the previous parties, had planned a scene out with their play partner and told them that the limits were basically nothing permanent.

Okay, so far we're all nodding along to the story and the leader kind of laughs.

So the dom didn't do anything permanent, but he did cut her hair off.

When I tell you everyone in that rooms jaw dropped, I am not exaggerating. That didn't even cross my mind as something I would have to tell someone not to do. But think of it this way. There's people who would absolutely be okay with their hair being chopped off in a scene and there's people who would absolutely not be okay with that happening.

The sub told the dom no permanent marks. Hair is not permanent. It's gonna grow back. The dom didn't do anything wrong, it was just very poor negotiating prior to the scene. And they both felt terrible for putting the other in a shitty situation. They were just on entirely different wave lengths.

So that was our reminder on making sure we're as clear as possible, to the point of over checking, before engaging in a scene.

⛓️

The next reminder was going over medical and psychological concerns or problems to be aware of.

That also seemed over the top but we all knew to listen at this point, so we sat there quietly and all desperately tried to figure out why this was something that would need to be shared, besides the obvious of course.

Friends, there's a lot of fucking reasons.

People may be allergic to cleaner on the props and scene gear, or even the bindings used.

Someone may have broken their ankle years ago and it hasn't bothered them since, but if they're rigged up in a way that will require them to use that ankle to catch themselves if something happens, suddenly it's worth knowing.

Do they have anything with their blood that may put them at risk of excessive bleeding or bruising?

Have they had anything potentially traumatizing happen that may be unexpectedly trigger?

Here the leader stopped again to tell us another story.

A scene between two people who were familiar with each other and had played before, but they didn't negotiate each time. Okay, once again we're all thinking surely not that much changes from scene to scene, especially when it's with the same person. But, once again, the unexpected happens.

The sub likes to be humiliation and degregated. Usually no problems, everything goes great. Well, it turns out that during the scene the dom said something about not being a good owner to her dog, idk why that specifically was mentioned but whatever, but he didn't know that her dog had ran away recently and that just set her off.

What a weird fucking coincidence.

So it's stuff you don't even think about, because everyone assumes everything will go okay. Sometimes it doesn't and it's nobody's fault but it fucking sucks. Everyone involves needs to be prepared.

⛓️

Last reminder was aftercare. Mandatory.

If you did a scene with someone then they themselves or someone else needed to go with you to the aftercare area, a low lighting room just filled with comfy chairs, piles of pillows and blankets. There were also water, juices, and snacks right around the corner from this area to make sure everyone kept from dropping or having any other issues.

⛓️

I swear there's a point to this.

All of that being considered, crews are fucking perfect for power dynamic relationships.

Every person on that ship has a very good idea of past injuries, allergies or other health issues, and a good idea of potential triggers. They're close enough to know all that, have a strong mutual trust, and want to provide a positive experience and amazing aftercare.

If you want to write a fic where a power dynamic relationship just happens and no one has to talk about it, or where everyone fall into it perfectly, this is it. This would be believable.

⛓️

It makes me want to ugly cry. I need more bdsm strawhat crew fics.

There's. So. Much. Potential.

[thatmarvelobsessedteen]

Not planned...not at all

Cassian x reader

Azriel x OC! reader'scousin

Short Summary: Two girls, cousins, somehow find themselves inside a slightly modified version of their favorite book saga ACOTAR. What will happen to them, things have changed and not just their situation but themselves...are those pointy ears they now have?

Chapter 11

"My what?!"

"Your voice, it's different from how I first imagined it but it really suits you! Although it slightly reminds me of that one guy from how to train your dragon. The overly proud one with the red dragon?"

Looking at Roxy for confirmation she nodded convinced.

"Definitely! Even personality fits."

I can't help but snort at that although before the confused Vanserra gets to say anything we're interrupted by Rhysand's icy voice.

"What do you two think to be doing?"

Weird way to say "why the fuck are you two cheating with him?" but alright.

"Cuz he hasn't spent the last 15 minutes having a little secret VIP mental chat while we just stood there like two idiots?! After the first 3 minutes it all gets a bit boring you know."

Roxanne followed on with my argument.

"Plus he's cool, a bit shitty as a lover or friend, but he tries?!"

That was as close as Lucien would ever get to a compliment from Roxy so he best have recorded that. Azriel however looked mildly annoyed but also somehow curious.

"How could you know what he's like as a friend or lover?"

Roxanne answers first, although she barely explains anything so I go to expand.

"We read it"

"We've read your books so to say? The books that tell the story of this world in ours. They tell Feyre's story and then go slightly off course later on. So we know quite a lot about all of you although I'm not sure everything in our books is canon here..."

The answer seemed to appease Azriel who nodded. Finally More spoke for the first time and I noticed she had a wine glass at hand, when did she get that?

"So you two aren't from here, used to be human and come from a world where we're all just books?!"

My mouth opened and closed just as quickly so Roxanne answered in my place with a chuckle.

"When you put it like that..."

"You both must be stupid if you even think we'll believe that! What a bunch of idiots. Or maybe you both just hallucinated everything, I wonder how much both of you smoked to get to this point?!"

Nesta's poisonous words cut through the air and while Roxy gives her an incredulous look I roll my eyes and mumble.

"Said the pathological bitch and alcoholic..."

Okay maybe that was a bit much from her just calling us idiots and drug addicts but I've held it against her for so much longer I'll take any excuse I get to snap at her.

There's kind of a collective gasp and moment of silence which makes me regret it all even more. Yup definitely too much on my part, especially if I wanted to get along with them!

Also, fuck fae hearing. Can't a girl whisper in peace?!

This time there was no stopping Nesta as she stood up like a storm in its wake. If I didn't hold quite the resentment towards her I might've even said she was damn badass.

[cherry-toxic]

I posted 4,695 times in 2022

78 posts created (2%)

4,617 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@backwardshirt

@wickedlydevious

@mayweallbehuman

@shadowthorne

@puraiuddo

I tagged 1,626 of my posts in 2022

#grimmjow - 211 posts

#animal tag - 211 posts

#grimmichi - 109 posts

#bleach - 106 posts

#harringrove - 94 posts

#billy hargrove - 71 posts

#art - 69 posts

#wanderlust - 56 posts

#stranger things spoilers - 51 posts

#max and billy - 44 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#but am i the only one thinking its more weird to plan marriage and spending the rest of your life with some1 youve only dated for 5 months

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Rule: tag 9 people you want to know better

Thanks for the tag @sarcasm-vending-machine 😘

(I started a new post because that one was getting a bit long)

Favourite piece of clothing you own? Right now it's my blue wool 'hippy' trousers, they are SO comfortable. I've only had them for about a month but I've worn them almost every day.

Your comfort food? Probably pizza. I go on and off different types of food all the time but pizza is a pretty consistent like

Favourite time of the year? Late spring and summer. I get cold very easily, my hands and feet are like ice most days so I need warm weather to be comfortable

Favourite song? This is a mean question how am I supposed to answer this??? (I'll give you jólanótt by SKÁLD and shit boat (no fans) by alestorm, two very different songs which I've been listening to a lot lately)

Do you collect something? Not really, I'm just a clutter bitch

Favourite drink? Coca cola. Yes yes I know it's full of sugar and terribly bad for you but I love it

Favourite fanfiction? Again how am I supposed to answer this??? I dont think I could even give you a top ten theres just too many that I've loved over the years

75 notes - Posted January 2, 2022

#4

Sometimes I just think about how ichigo and grimmjow both have/had five friends/companions who they fought/travelled together with but ichigo's friends vowed to grow stronger so they could fight along side him as equals where as grimmjow's fraccion gave up the possibility of growing stronger in order to support his growth

84 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

#3

See the full post

102 notes - Posted February 13, 2022

#2

So, about max and her monologue about billy, it's not that I dont believe max could feel such a way or that it doesnt make sense (honestly I would be a liar if I said I haven't also wished my shitty brother dead before) but it also feels a little off to me considering how their relationship was presented in s3.

At first I thought maybe i had misinterpreted it, maybe max and billy really did hate each other right up until the moment of his death. But then i remembered this interview with sadie sink from 2019 where she spoke about max and billy going into s3

I didnt expect them to be best friends or even particulary close with each other (and I had a strong feeling billy was gonna die anyway) but I remember feeling hopeful when I read this interview, hopeful that we'd at least get to see a different side to their relationship, and I was massively disappointed when s3 barely focused on them at all.

But, the small glimpses that we did see proved that they were in a different place than they had been in s2

When max talked to el about billy she spoke in a lighthearted manner, she wasnt resentful, she made jokes, she talked about him like he was just her annoying gross older brother who liked to walk around without a shirt on and bring girls home to make 'happy screams'

And then, of course, theres the sauna test. She was visibly distressed upon seeing Billy in that state. She was in pain. She started crying. She said, "it's okay... i believe you... we're going to figure this out together okay" like she actually wanted to help him, save him...

And thats why it feels weird to me. Not because feelings are complicated and that a few peaceful months between them dont erase everything he put her through, but because she apparently went from we'll figure this out together to I dont know if he deserved to be saved in the space of three days.

And when I say it feels weird, I think what I mean is ffs a little consistency would be nice

159 notes - Posted July 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

See the full post

185 notes - Posted January 16, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[prettyprincessofchi]

Meeting an Icon: Me

Well, I see you must be interested in my site because you clicked on it. And yes, on this blog, we talk about everything, from the latest boy toy I've wrapped around my fingers and showing you how you can do the same, to making the perfect late-night pasta to pair with the perfect wine. Of course, you would be interested in the person behind the screen, and I'm going to be upfront with you. I am going to be using an alias for personal reasons, darling. I hope you can understand. But I will say this, bad bitches recognize bad bitches. So if you see a platinum blonde curvaceous woman who walks with such confidence and doesn't give a damn about what others think, you've found me, and I would gladly acknowledge who I am. And I will be showing you how to become the same as well. Of course, I wasn't always as amazing as I am today. It took hard work, and it's going to take more work to be better.

Now that I've gotten most of the boring stuff out of the way, let me tell you a bit more about myself. I'm a lively young woman, 24 years of age to be exact. I live in the beautiful River North of Chicago. My occupation is a cosmetologist, nail tech, and hairstylist. By the way, I have my own beautiful shop downtown on the lakefront. My favorite color is purple, I love a good martini, and I have a very complicated relationship with men. But my relationship with shopping couldn't be better. You see, men can destroy your life, drain you, and just be plain, let's be honest here, shitty. But what's an afternoon at Oakbrook Mall, stocking up on some charms for my Pandora set (I need the HOTD charm like yesterday), or maybe even getting a replacement face mask from Lush, and I have to just go and see what's new at Victoria's Secret.

And no, I'm definitely not some mean lonely bitch with no friends. I have a couple. I have my best friend since the 5th grade who lives in Michigan, Arielle. Our birthdays are only five days apart, and between the both of us, she's the angel, I'm the one you don't want to mess with. Despite both of us being Libras, we're two sides of the same coin. Then there's my friend Diane, the youngest of her sisters, with makeup skills like a pro. I've known her since I was a sophomore, and trust me, we both have had quite the dating history. Then there's Andrea. She's technically the weird girl with the fat ass. And before anyone says anything, yes, I used to be the four-eyed freak who loved anime and never spoke, but she and I have both turned into sexy women with quite the sexual adventures. She's the one I can talk about Dragon Ball Z and how many idiots let us hit on the first try. And lastly, there's my friend Nina. She's the strong one of the bunch; she always has her head on straight and can spot bullshit from miles away.

Now for the last part of our segment today, getting to know my family. My parents have since divorced since I was about 7. I have an older sister and brother on my dad's side of the family, and about four younger sisters on my mom's side. I technically have never met my brother, so I really only count myself having sisters. They've always been there for me, even my 7-year-old sister; you'd be surprised, lol. But I do have a very big family that lives here, in China, the Philippines, and even West Africa. So yeah, you could say I'm pretty well connected, haha, which explains why a lot of dudes are intimidated by me. Not just because I'm a strong woman, because that's what my family is full of: strong women. That explains why all the men in my family are actual men, and why I don't tolerate any little boys (unless...).

Don't worry, this isn't going to be the last you've heard from me. I'll be back with some stories, as well as any tips and tricks I find online that I can share with you guys. And trust me, I would love to hear from you as well! Don't be shy to shoot me an email or send a message, I will also be doing anonymous q&as as well. Trust me, it's going to be a wild ride, babes. Hopefully, you'll stay, or don't - I'm not telling you what the hell to do.

Stay sexy, Aerea A.

[cryoriku]

hey you know it's really awesome and cool when ur a grown adult and after getting in a fight with ur mother who still insists on disrespecting and mocking you at any chance, ur adoptive father who has only ever been a source of fear since you were very little calls and instead of screaming at you he's very level and is legitimately concerned about my mental state.

some of his takes are still very shitty. even tho i routinely try the pacifist approach with her she can't stop mocking me and disregarding my boundaries and he acknowledges how aggressive she can be, he still puts the burden on me to be better and suck it up for the sake of maintaining a relationship (which is bs. both sides need to work or i shouldnt have to put up with it after all the abuse i dealt with as a child). and he thinks i need to just get back on meds which is such a backwards stereotype way of thinking that isnt accurate bc i stopped my last new meds bc they didnt really do much for me and gave me bad side effects.

it makes me feel like shit and embarassed now for being depressed and like all the efforts i have been making on getting out of my apartment more often and eating healthier and stuff arent being seen and just the worst of me is. it sucks too bc our mental health took a new redive after one of our ex's told us how we seem to not want to get better. which is an insanely fucked up thing to say and not worth listening to so we have tried to just ignore it but it haunts us still along with toxic ex friends whove talked about how pathetic and disgusting we are for being mentally/emotionally weak. which is wrong and bullshit and hirrible and WE HAVE gotten better before we want to be better again we're sick of living in a rollercoaster we want to be ourselves again 100% of the time and not just some of it, but believe it or not it's hard to keep your head above water much less swim to shore when people are constantly shoving you back down and wondering why youre not succeeding in breathing. dont you see how hard I'm trying?

plus with our dad it just gives us a fucked up moral dilemma of ik how estranged and distant his family is like theyre allergic to showing courtesy or affection and he was raised to be a good mannered cowboy and just sit and take when his mother does him wrong because it's family and he doesn't wanna lose it, so the same is true here, but I've already had it in my head for years that at some point i may have to cut ties. I'm just fucking caught. I'm trapped by the good moments we have, the good aspects of my parents and my sister. I'm caught by the fact my dad doesnt have a close family and everybody in my moms family has that same genetic ego that makes everyone think theyre better than everyone else or made them isolate and hide and die from drug overdoses alone in their bathroom. I'm caught by my baby niece who i don't want to leave alone with these people. I'm caught by my dog and grandma, until they pass, anyway. I'm caught by the stupid child in me who still *craves* a mother, *craves* a father, craves this idea of a family i never really had except in blurry photos if you dont look too close.

any fucking ways..... if anybody is able to get a therapist who can actually help me and not waste a year of my time trying to put me on drugs because they dont know how to do shit with systems and trauma to actually email me back, that would be epic.

i also want everyone reading this to stop seeing people as only their struggles or their trauma or their disability and start seeing them as PEOPLE with personalities and likes and interests first. believe it or not we don't think about our trauma or hardship a lot of the fucking time and it's real weird and a total fuckin bummer if thats all you seem to see. so, yeah.

have a happy sexy naughty bitchy sephiroth labor day guys

[whatyourusherthinks]

Despicable Me 4 Review

And onto the finale of The Weirdest Triple Feature I've Ever Done, and lemme tell ya, it was a mistake to do Despicable Me 4 last! What is that supposed to mean Roan? I've gone on record saying I actually like Illumination movies, even if they invented the Minions and thus ruined wine aunts forever. Roan what did you mean "it was a mistake to do Despicable Me 4 last"? I've only seen Despicable Me 1 and 2, but I really like those movies. I think the villain becoming a father is one of my favorite archetypical storylines, whether or not the villain stays evil. Why are you avoiding the question? The teaser to this movie was alright, although I was worried when the actual trailer was just showcasing the new Mega-Minions gimmick instead of the interesting "Gru's got a new baby and also the whole family needs to go into hiding" plot. Roan I'm assuming the worse unless you clarify that statement. WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD BUGGNUTZ. I can't help it, I spent all day at the theater and both movies I watched before this one have a lot of tits in it.

What's The Movie About?

Gru's bully from school swears revenge after Gru arrests him, and after he breaks out, Gru's family needs to go into hiding. Also the AVL gives five Minions super powers for some reason.

What I Like.

As always, the familial relation between Gru and and his family is top notch. You cannot convince me that the draw for these movies is anything else, Gru, Lucy, and the girls are great characters and have excellent chemistry. I also like Gru Jr, the new baby. He's the main source of the background gags and he's very cute. Speaking of cute, the bad guy (Maxime, he's called) is obsessed with cockroaches. Are you about to tell me they made cockroaches cute in this movie? Yes, yes I am. Not only that, they make Gru's baby half cockroach in this movie and he was still adorable. It's amazing. I actually like Maxine a lot. Despicable me is no slouch when it comes to villains, and this movie is not an exception. He's maniacal and I like that he's mad for the pettiest reason. Also, he's voiced by Will Ferrell and I could not tell at all. That's crazy. I also, weirdly, like the Mega-Minions storyline. Like it's dumb that this franchise that's had a spy motif for it's entire existence is turning to superheroes, but they kinda admit that? The Mega-Minions suck at being heroes or controlling their powers, so they get retired after going on one mission. And where they all retired to was funny. The comedy can be hit or miss, but the hits are funny and the misses are just eh. My final praise is that the action is super good, surprisingly. I mean, Despicable Me 1 and 2 were fine in that department, but 4 really steps it up. It's thrilling, intense, well directed, and well animated. The stakes of the movie are also pretty high, despite the pettiness of Maxine's motivation. What else, what else... Oh, I like Maxine's girlfriend. I like that she cares about him, but isn't super enthusiastic about everything he does. It felt like a realistic relationship.

What I Didn't Like.

Is it just me or is Carrell's Gru voice gotten harsher than it was? I mean, I guess I can't blame him. He's gotten older and it cannot be easy to do that voice. But it also isn't easy on the ears, much less so now. So we're even. Also, knocking out the easy criticism real quick: all the Minions are annoying. Except for the Mega-Minion and the weird pit crew he has to clean up after the baby. This movie implies that female minions exist which is as horrifying as the fact that they are immortal. Anyway, on to the substantial criticism, this movie has like 5 b-plots. There's the Mega-Minions obviously, but also Gru Jr hating Gru for some reason, Lucy being a shitty hair-stylist and having a woman who's hair she's messed up swear revenge on her, Edith and Agnes taking karate lessons and breaking their Sensei's toe, Gru trying to make friends with their new neighbors, and Gru being blackmailed by the neighbor's kid to help her steal the mascot of an evil school. Most of them come together at the end, but it's still just stuff happening for most of the movie. Despicable Me probably has too many cute mascot characters now, so the only reason I think the going into hiding plot was made is so they can sideline half of them. Also, this movie has a major and completely unnecessary plot hole in the last five minutes. See, there's a shot in the ending of an AVL prison with all the villains from the previous movies, including VECTOR, who as we all know from the Fly Me To The Moon short, is STUCK ON MARS IN HIS UNDWEAR. HOW DID HE GET BACK FROM MARS? ANSWER ME DESPICABLE ME 4! HOW DID VECTOR GET BACK FROM MARS?! Also I didn't need to see Lucy being all flexible and limber, especially with the energy I had from the previous two movies. Gross Roan. SHADDUP.

Final Summation.

Despicable Me 4 is really sloppy, and for a while in the movie I was wondering if the other movies were as good as I remember. But the ending makes up for it. It'll entertain kids and there's some jokes for the adults, plus I like just seeing Gru's family grow.

[Edit: SPEAKING OF MAJOR AND UNNECCESARY PLOT HOLES! I've since learned how Despicable Me 3 ended, and, well, they just completely ignore it. Dru makes a super brief cameo at the very end of the movie, but he literally has no lines and all the Minions just live with Gru's family at the beginning of the movie like everything is normal. This is completely stupid. They sideline the Minions for the main plot already, but instead of having them go work for AVL (And being completely destructive psychopaths), why not just have them living with Dru being bad guys. Hell, the only bit of characterization that is both interesting and consistent is the little butt plugs running off with Dru because he's a better villain Gru! Remember Illumination? Them being dogmatically obsessed with the most evil thing they could fine was like the only idea that was halfway decent from the Minions Movie! Maybe a few of them stay behind and become the baby pit crew, and they are the ones who become the Mega-Minions. You can cut all the jokes that are just regular Minions being assholes to everyone and each other and keep the good Minion jokes. Plus, this allows you more time in the movie to add more to the interesting storylines, or make the more random plot thread connect more to the movie as a whole. Instead you shot yourself 800 times in the foot with gibberish yelling bullets.

Seriously. Did you just forget how the third movie ended?]

[flamagenitus]

One thing I miss so much about working is watching the stars. I'm in the street in my socks rn and for the first time in months I can see the big dipper

I am thinking about how much I love my friend Licy

[sunmoonandeddie]

rockstar!eddie headcanons

pairing: rockstar!eddie munson x reader a/n: holy fuck i haven't written anything fandom related in so long?? also i've never really done headcanons before so let's see how writing in this format goes?? freak 1 was literally called freak 1 in the credits (he's the one that's like "over my dead body!" in the d&d scene and "we're an easy target" in the cafeteria scene) so i have decided his name is frankie!!! also, thank you to @matchamunson for letting me rant about this and get all my ideas out!!!! (also this will be continued lol)

listen eddie got the FUCCKKKKK outta hawkins as soon as he graduated

there was no way he could stand to stay in a town where half of the residents thought of him as a murderer (even if he'd been cleared of all charges) and the other half still thought of him as a freak

wayne understands. of course he does. his poor boy has been put through the wringer, and all he wanted was for his son* to be happy (and safe and alive)

*wayne is more of a father to him than his biological father ever was, okay?? and after he comes back from the upside down, he just straight up calls him dad.

so eddie loads up his van and starts driving around the country, picking up gigs where ever he could, auditioning as a backup guitarist for bands he didn't like and didn't feel right

it never felt as right as it did with corroded coffin.

which is why he drives back to hawkins for the first time since he'd graduated and asked his old bandmates to take a shot in the dark and try to make their band happen.

of fucking course they agree???

why wouldn't they??

(eddie doesn't even know how hard it is for people to say no to him because of his big dumb cute cow eyes)

he meets you somewhere on the road, your thumb held high in the air and a duffel bag at your feet

and wouldn't you know it, you were on the road, too*

*he hadn't unlocked your backstory yet, but fuck did he want to

the band finds out you're a writer and fuck, they need help because their lyric writing skills are not what they need to make it big

and of course it's cheaper to live with five people in a place than just four!!

so that's how you end up with four new best friends/roommates/employers (sorta)

you all find a three bedroom, two bath for a pretty good price.

the guys insist on you getting your own room, and then they'll all double up, insisting that it'll be the college dorm experience they never got!!!

there's a lot of working shitty jobs and playing gigs at different dive bars every night just to have to wake up early for their day jobs again for a while

sundays, though. sundays are the days that all of you specifically put that none of you are available because that's when 1. you all get to fucking relax and 2. when you work on writing songs all together and not separately

Sundays are Sacred

the Falling in Love Thing happens slowly

you and eddie just seemed to click in a special way when you first meet and you just get closer and closer as time goes on

until suddenly you're the only two awake in the living room at two in the morning, an empty pizza box off discarded to the side right along with his guitar and both of your song writing notebooks

you can't stop giggling, even when it turns to more serious topics

and suddenly eddie thinks "i wanna laugh with you for the rest of my life" and yeah, he knew he had a crush on you but holy shit, he's like... in love in love.

he doesn't even give himself time to overthink or get insecure before he's kissing you something fierce

hands (with the rings of course) holding your face like you're the most precious diamond on earth*

*to him you are

but then you two get so worried about making it weird with the rest of the guys and you refuse to let it ruin the band and the little family you've made for yourself, so you agree to take it slow

dates here and there, that usually happen because no one else was up for going for ice cream so late at night

but the scary part is

is that you two work????

at first you thought maybe it was just the honeymoon phase but then you two have been going on dates and kissing in secret for five months and it's??? amazing??

you're skeptical at first because Good Relationships Don't Happen to You and you're pretty sure you maxed out your chances when you got four best friends

but even then, it's not until three months later that eddie asks you to date him

"i thought we already were dating"

"i mean exclusively."

"you mean you want me to be your girlfriend?"

"yes. sure. whatever terminology it fucking is."

when you sit down the guys to tell them they're straight up like, "oh. was that supposed to be a secret?"

"you two aren't exactly subtle and eddie accidentally played footsie with jeff and not you just two nights ago?"

it's about a year after they get to the city that they land a gig playing every night for a popular bar where all the metal heads like to hang out

and it's paid!!!

eddie and the guys are so excited that they don't have to spend every fucking day selling their souls to capitalism!!

(they still have to sell their souls to capitalism for like two shifts a week because they do still have bills to pay)

(they do insist that you also cut back on your shifts and that you take a portion of the money they get to play every night because you're their Songwriter you are Part of the Band.)

and then it's six months after they started their cushy new gig that some hot shot recording producer happened to be in the crowd and fucking loved them.

it's not until after they release their first album and people are going crazy for them that they realize

holy shit

we're rockstars

[ssamie]

off limits.

·˚ ༘⌗ someone had caught langa's attention, and reki being the supportive friend that he is, decided to help langa score a date with them, all without knowing they were joe's precious little sibling.

·˚ ༘⌗ hasegawa langa x gn!reader

·˚ ༘⌗ warnings: langa's shitty flirting, fluff, im using ASH as ur name in S lol sorry if u hate it, long-ish ig

gen masterlist.       sk8 masterlist.

"yeah! go ASH!" "damn! they're so cool!"  "ASH! come take a picture with us!"

you simply grinned and waved to the crowd as they repeatedly chanted your name and cheered you on. you had just won a beef against your very own brother kojiro, or better known as JOE, and everyone was going crazy.

"well then, i win so you know what to do, right JOE?" you smirked tauntingly as your brother sighed in exasperation "yeah, yeah" he rolled his eyes "im doing laundry for this month as we previously agreed upon" he said

you snickered and waved him goodbye before rushing off to MIYA. you and him were fairly close friends since you were both candidates for japan's national team and often meet up outside of 'S'

"woah.." langa said with a gasp as his eyes followed your form. reki raised a brow in confusion as he followed langa's line of sight.

"langa? whats wrong?" reki asked. "ASH.." langa responded. his eyes were glimmering with amazement and adoration as a bright and sparkly aura surrounded him.

"oh, them?" reki hummed "they're really cool, huh? their tricks were really amazing" he said

langa simply sent you one last glance before reluctantly averting his attention towards reki. "reki! i think.. i think i like ASH" langa admitted with a blush

"eh?! like, like like them? or-" langa cut him off with a frantic nod, making reki scream out in surprise

"eh?! that's awesome! go talk to them then!" reki exclaimed as he tried to push langa towards your direction. "no! i can't!" langa panicked as he tried to plant himself in his spot

"yeah you can!" reki laughed "just go for it!" langa shook his head in distress and tried to run away, although reki caught him by his collar just in time.

"but i don't know what to say! they might find me weird!" langa exclaimed. reki hummed before nodding in agreement. "yeah, you're right. then you'll never get a chance if that happens"

langa paled as a look of dread and fear had dawned upon his features. reki immediately took notice and frantically patted his back to calm him down. "no, no! it's fine! you just gotta practice what to say first so you don't mess it up when you finally talk to them!" reki said

langa nodded with determination. "you're right, reki" he said. "so you'll help me right?" he sent reki an expectant look, making the latter gulp.

"ofcourse!" reki exclaimed "with my help, you'll score a date with them in no time!"

"um-hey, uh how's it-"

"no!! wrong wrong wrong!!" reki exclaimed as he shook his head in disappointment "we've gone over this! we've practiced for a week straight!" he sighed out in exasperation

they were currently at a convenience store parking lot, practicing langa's lines and flirting skills for when he finally musters up the courage to approach you.

"just be cool! be natural! you're too stiff" reki said as he lightly punched langa in the chest. "it's too hard" langa sighed dejectedly "i can't do it"

reki frowned and slapped langa's back, making him yelp. "you can do this! miya said they're really nice so you don't have anything to worry about" reki said in reassurance

"yeah, i guess" langa said with a pout "but im just-"

he yelped as he suddenly collided with another person, his foot had been caught up in his board, causing him to slip and for the other to stumble.

"ah, im so sorry!" you said as you frantically grasped his wrist just before he could fall to the ground. thankfully, you were able to balance yourself and catch him in the process.

"wait-" reki's eyes widened "you're.. ASH?!" you then grinned and set him a wave "hey! you're reki right? miya mentioned you a few times now" you said

"but you probably shouldn't address me as that when we're outside. it's against the rules you know?" you mused with a kind smile "just call me y/n"

"i-i uhm.. you-" langa stammered out. "hm?" you hummed in confusion as you turned around to face a red-faced langa, who seems to be in the brink of combustion at the moment. you followed his eyes down to your hand, which was still holding his wrist, and immediately let go. "oh, sorry dude! you're the rookie right?" you cooed out with a grin

"nice to meet you. i've seen you skate before, you're really good" you complimented him with a suave smirk

"..." langa didn't respond and simply looked at you with sparkling eyes and a blank expression, making reki face-palm in the background

"uh, you alright, langa?" you asked with a chuckle "you look real red right now" you grinned and jokingly elbowed him "it's not cause you like me or anything right?" you teased

"NO!" langa exclaimed. both you and reki blinked in shock while langa simply shook his head with a shaky smile "i mean-no i do! but not like that! but i don't don't like you-"

he suddenly cleared his throat upon receiving a silent signal from reki, making you smile in amusement. "so uh- what's an eye candy like you doin in a place like this?" he asked in a 'flirtatious' tone, though it only came out awkwardly and forced due to his aloof and blunt nature.

you chuckled and shrugged nonchalantly "not much. just shopping" you replied as you showed them the grocery bags filled with ingredients for kojiro's restaurant. "why? wanna take me elsewhere?" you teased

you laughed and lightly nudged him with your hip. " 'm just messing with you! you're too serious, loosen up will you?" you chuckled. "r-right!" langa laughed nervously as he silently marveled at you and your angelic laughter. "seriously," you grinned "you don't have to be so nervous. i don't bite you know?"

"well, unless you want me to" you grinned cheekily as a his face exploded into a bright shade of red. "oh.. is that so.." he stammered out

langa had once again fallen into silence as he settled for ogling at your side profile with his eyes sparkling with adoration. reki sweat dropped and nervously chimed in as to not make things awkward.

"so, y/n-san" reki said with a nervous smile "you're a really cool skater! and you also remind me of someone i know" he said

"oh well then you're probably talking about my brother. i heard you often hang with him in and outside of S" you said

"your brother?" reki and langa mumbled out in confusion. you nodded "yeah it's-" you were cut off by the ringing of your phone, making you shoot the two boys an apologetic smile and a wave goodbye.

"sorry guys, i gotta go. but maybe next time we can hang!" you said as you start to skate away. but just before you could get too far, you stop in your tracks and shoot langa a wink.

"catch you later, snow~" you cooed before finally disappearing from their sight, leaving behind a flustered langa and a surprised reki.

langa blinked one last time before dramatically falling down onto the floor like a melted puddle, his face bright red and a hazy smile grazing his lips.

"LANGA?!?"

"geez, you really need to keep your shit together." reki sighed "y/n was clearly flirting with you and you didn't even make a move." he said

langa frowned and nodded, "yeah, i guess i was just nervous. and it's a little awkward too.." he said. reki deadpanned and slapped him by his nape "dumbass! it's only awkward cus you make it like that!" he exclaimed

langa winced and shuffled away from reki "ouch! yeah, yeah, i'll do better next time.." he muttered with a pout.

they stopped as they arrived at kojiro's restaurant, they were there to meet up with the others for a friendly hangout. "hey guys!!" reki greeted them with a grin

"oh, the slime is here." miya said as he continued to play on his phone, not even looking up once. "oi! im no slime!" reki whined as he tackled miya in a hug, much to the latter's annoyance.

"hm? what's wrong, langa?" kaoru asked with a hum as he took notice of langa, who seemed more out of it that usual.

"oh, langa's thinking of ways on how to flirt with this person he likes!" reki exclaimed with a cheeky grin as he teased his friend. "a crush?" kaoru mused

"you're too young for that" joe said with a laugh "but if you need help, then im definitely the right person to go to" he followed up with a smirk

kaoru simply bonked him in the head with his fan and sighed. "you are definitely the worst person to come to." he said

joe gritted his teeth and glared at his pink haired friend, before huffing and facing langa once more. "so, who exactly is this crush of yours?" he cooed

langa blushed and sheepishly turned his head away, "its no one.." he muttered.

"it's ASH." miya chimed in with a smug grin "aka y/n. those two slimes have been asking me about them for the past week. it's honestly sad." he snickered.

kaoru and kojiro's face paled while langa simply turned into a blushing mess.

"wait-" kaoru gulped "y/n.. y/n as in kojiro's-"

"nii-san!" your voice emitted from the kitchen "i finished putting the groceries in the back room" you said

you walked into the room, untying the apron around your waist as you make your way towards your brother.

only then did you notice all their eyes trained on you, especially langa, who looked like his eyes were about to pop off with how much he'd widened them.

"umm.." you mumbled out sheepishly "is everything alright?" you asked

kojiro slowly walked up to langa with a dark look in his eyes, much to langa's horror. "oi, rookie." kojiro called out, his tone laced with malice

langa yelped and immediately shielded himself behind reki "i can explain.." langa muttered with a nervous smile

"explain what?" kojiro scowled. his muscular arms pulled you towards him, much to your confusion, and held you protectively against his chest.

"that you're flirting around with my baby sibling!!?!" kojiro exclaimed

"NO!" langa denied "well uh- kind of.. but i only did it once and-reki! help me!" he gave reki a look of helplessness.

reki gulped as kojiro's glare had averted towards him. "ah, joe! it's just that-langa here thought y/n-san was very alluring, right?" he mused, to which langa nodded along.

"so uh-we asked miya some things about her.. but miya never told us they was your sibling!!" he exclaimed

miya simply gave them a cat-like grin, smiling and giggling to himself as he innocently looks around the place.

"that doesn't excuse your actions, you punks!" kojiro bonked them both in the head

"let me get this straight.. y/n is off limits. got that?" he glared at langa "no flirting, no dating, no boyfriends."

you scowled and wiggled yourself free from his hold. "what the hell are you talking about?" you crossed your arms over your chest as you look at your brother expectantly.

"wha- y/n you're too young!" kojiro shrieked "im not a kid, you know?" you sweat drop

"you're younger than me, which means you're a kid. so no boyfriends." kojiro huffed "kaoru help me out here!!" he said

kaoru simply sipped on his drink and sighed. "i personally don't have any problems if y/n chooses to date." he says in a calm tone

but it soon changed into a look of malice as he looms over langa's shoulder. "but if you hurt them, i will surely be teaching you a lesson." he muttered in a low tone "alright?"

langa yelped and nodded. "right!" he exclaimed

you sighed and bonked both kaoru and kojiro in the head, pushing them away despite their protests, and approached langa.

"don't mind them." you said "they're just overprotective. most of it were empty threats anyways!" you laughed

langa gulped as he looked at the two over your shoulder with dread. "im pretty sure those threats weren't empty..." he muttered

you laughed and took his hand, flipping it over to reveal his wrist. you then took a pen from your pocket and wrote your number down onto his skin.

"i gotta go, but when you have time, give me a call okay?" you cooed with a smirk

langa watched with sparkling eyes as you gave him a flirty wink before taking your board and walking out of the restaurant.

"bye~" you cooed with a wave before skating away

"i- what?! did my baby sibling just give some guy their number?!" kojiro shrieked in horror

"you act like you don't do the same thing in a daily basis" reki sweat dropped

reki then turned to langa, who was still staring at the digits on his wrist with a blushing face. "so, are you gonna call them?" reki mused

"like hell you will!!" kojiro scowled

"i will!" langa exclaimed with a determined look

"oi! didn't you hear me?!" kojiro snarled "don't call them! they're off limits! oi, listen to me!!" he groaned in aggravation

"joe, im gonna ask them to be my s/o!" langa said with a straight face as he stared at joe with a hopeful glint in his eyes

"NO!!"

"im doing it anyway!"

[marchioness-caprina]

Confessions

Pairings : Reader x Bakugou

Writing Style : 1st Person and 3rd Person

Warning : A Lot of Swearing

Word Count : 3639

____________________

Y/n's POV

" I Just don't Know what To do Izuku! You're Telling Me He Likes me but he barely even takes a glance at me! The bad thing is that whenever I try approaching him... Or even expressing my Love for him... He screams bloody murder and roasts me like there's no tomorrow! " I complained as I buried my face within my palms .

I was on the verge of tears simply because of a shitty crush. I felt Izuku's Hand caress my head as He stared down at me with a sympathetic gaze.

" There, There y/n. Let it all out " He muttered making me want to cry even more but I wasn't done venting.

" I've been chasing him ever since we were in middle school! Ironic how I give nothing but love but receive pain instead... I think... I should finally Give up" I whispered the last part and Izuku's movements were put in a halt.

" Really? After everything you've been doing for him? You'll just give up?! That's not you y/n! You're the type of person who fights with everything you've got without losing hope! And that's pretty admirable! I may not be as close with Kaachan as I was before but I know for a fact that he likes you too and is just too... Errr... Umm... How do I say this? Uhh He just has a really big Ego to admit it " He tried lifting my spirit up but I was tired. My heart was tired and I just wanted to... Give up or maybe Just Rest for a couple of weeks.

" Yeah? Well you think pretty Highly of Me Izuku.... But I'm weak too you know and there are battles I must quit.... I'll just try to recollect myself and rest for a few weeks Or so, I'll have to set my Priorities straight too... Ya know... If you get what I mean and all " I chuckled trying to mask the pain and it was futile. Izuku can read me like an open book.

He gave me a solemn look before nodding. This little cinnamon roll is just too kind and understanding, he even accompanied me to this very cafe we were in when he saw me looking down coming out of the Dorms.

" I get it, People need to cool off from time to time " He gave me a small smile and I returned it with a grin.

" Hey! You know there's this Carnival That was set up last week and it's their last day today! I had two tickets and tried inviting Katsuki.... I mean Bakugou Yesterday and he almost blew these tickets away.... It would be a waste if we don't use it so why don't we start my Personal Growth and healing by having Fun!? " I exclaimed and Izuku looked genuinely as excited as me.

" Really!? Sure! I'd like to go! It's been awhile since I actually had fun because of all the Pressure and Stress! " He smiled and I grabbed his hand immediately and dragged him out of the cafe and Off to The carnival we Go!.

_________________

" Man! And Don't even get me started on the Food there! Although the Almight Mascot looked Really Weird it was still fun! " I Beamed as Izuku opened the front door.

" Yeah! And the Fireworks were awesome Too! I'm really glad we hung out today! " He bashfully stated as we simultaneously stepped inside .

" And Where have you two gone to? Maybe you shouldn't have came back if you'd show up in the middle of the damn night " Aizawa sensei suddenly appeared out of nowhere making me and Izuku flinch in shock.

" W-why... Hello there sensei " Midoriya stuttered fear ridden as he glanced down at me.

' Shit we're screwed '

" Guys! I believe it was extremely irresponsible to be gone without a word and come back at an unearthly hour! You could have atleast sent one of us a message or even answered Our calls! So we wouldn't be this anxious of your arrival! " Iida Sped walked towards me and Izuku and that's when we noticed that everyone was still up and gathered in the common room.

" We were so worried about you guys! We thought a villain took you or something! "

" Not cool dude, Aizawa Sensei almost flipped and called out a search team to look for you guys "

" You could have told us before you left "

Came the concerned comments of our classmates. It made my heart swell up with Joy and at the same time Guilt.

" We're so Sorry! " Me and Izuku yelled in Sync bowing our heads.

" It was my fault! I forgot my phone in my room! And Izuku was just accompanying me to a small cafe in town... And I invited him to go have fun at the carnival... To Distress.... I didn't think you guys would be this worried but thank you for worrying about us! " I yelled an apology and Izuku was fast to take the blame.

" No it's my fault! I turned off my phone and left without informing anyone and without thinking of the consequences! Neither me and y/n were aware of the time. We won't do it again! We're sorry guys" Izuku frowned as I placed my hand on his shoulder.

With a sigh Aizawa gave us a stern look scratching the back of his head before speaking.

" Look, this better not happen again or else you two will be in serious trouble. You're lucky tomorrow's a Sunday so No school . Just make sure to say something next time and not disappear without a trace "

" Yes sensei! " Izuku answered while I nodded my head vigorously.

As Aizawa continued his Lecture my eyes drifted towards the crowd of my classmates and what surprised me was that Bakugou was Present. He was awake. Did he actually give a fuck?... No he's probably dragged into this by Kaminari or Kirishima.

After a long 30 minutes of sermon Aizawa sensei finally let us go.

In the end everyone returned to their rooms and Before I went to mine I gave Izuku a Hug as a ' Thank you for being there for me ' and I was unaware of a pair of crimson red eyes staring at us.

_____________

The Next Day

_____________

I heard knocking on my door which forced me to wake up and open the door and to my surprise it was Izuku and Uraraka.

" Morning Guys.... What brings you here? " I yawned blinking my eyes as the two chuckled at my messy appearance.

Bed hair, oversized t shirt and drool on the corner of my lips.

" We came here to invite you for breakfast! Everyone is gathered in the common room! You're a pretty heavy sleeper! Jirou and Momo tried waking you up earlier and there was no answer " Uraraka explained but still, sleep was very much alive in my system and I just gave a lazy nod before hanging again.

" Looks like she's still Tired Uraraka, you go on ahead we'll catch up with you" Izuku offered and Uraraka was fast to jolt away a from us.

" Ok! But you better not let her go back to sleep Deku! Everyone's counting on you to wake her up! " Uraraka yelled as she headed downstairs.

I was swaying back and forth with my eyes half lidded and I had a sudden urge to sleep on the floor.

" Still sleepy? " Izuku asked and fortunately I was still awake enough to give him a nod.

" Wanna get on my back? I'll carry you down stairs so you'll have time to rest " He offered while turning his back against me and bending down.

Without hesitation I fell on his back and subconsciously wrapped my arms around his neck and my head resting on his back.

I felt his scarred hand grip my thighs and he lifted me off the ground and started walking.

Honestly I didn't know how long it took him to get to the common room but I was happy I had a really nice friend to carry me like this.

" Wow, Midoriya when we told you to get Y/n we didn't know you'd actually ' Get ' Her " The familiar Voice of Kaminari commented and I was thankfully awake or more like I forced myself to be awake.

I peeked my eyes at him and stuck my tongue out.

" Yeah you're just jealous cause Izuku is Carrying me " I retorted and Izuku's chest vibrated in a small chuckle.

" You two a Thing Now or something? " Mina grinned pointing at us with her chopsticks.

" No Mina we're not a Thing. We're People " I countered and she gave a light laugh.

" Smart move y/n. Smart move "

" Do you want me to put you down now? " Izuku asked as he looked back at me and I shook my head.

" No, I like being carried by you. You're really warm " I smirked and the poor boy's face overheated with embarrassment.

" Oo~ are you sure you two aren't a Thing? " Uraraka Teased giving me and Izuku a suggestive wink.

" So you're dumping Bakugou for Midoriya or something? " Kaminari crackled with laughter and the whole room fell into a cold silence.

As if everyone knew something I should be aware of.

" Me and Bakugou aren't Dating in the first place, I don't think we'll ever be together too " I confidently stated and I could hear gasps and the shock faces of my classmates didn't go unnoticed.

" S-She called him Bakugou and Not Katsuki! " Mineta Yelled in panic as he stared at me with wide eyes.

Suddenly a loud bang was heard from one of the tables. Specifically the Table Bakugou was on.

He had slammed his hand on the table along with his chopsticks and he was seething with so much anger and... Are my eyes lying? Is that jealousy!?.

" I ain't fucking hungry! " He yelled and stood up violently that the chair fell off.

He started stomping his way towards us. I was never afraid of Him.... Well not until Now atleast.

" Deku " He growled lowly and I could feel Izuku tremble.

Immediately, I got down from his back and when Katsuki was close enough I stepped infront of Izuku.

" Stay Back Bitch! " He hissed and I stood my ground.

" No you Stay back Asshole! What is your problem!? Why don't you mind your own fucking Business! " I snapped harshly poked his Chest with each word I uttered.

He glared at me tiny sparks popping on his palms.

What he said next was something I have never expected him to say.

" You are My goddamn Business You Little Shit! Hanging around with Deku the whole Night making me worry about your shitty ass! And now you're clinging onto him like a stupid fucking Koala! Can't you see how jealous I am!? Can't you drill it in your pretty little head that you're Fucking Mine! " His voice rang through every corner of the common room.

Everyone was silent for a few seconds. My eyes were wide and full of disbelief.

" Finally, Took Him a long time to actually confess... It was kinda getting painful to watch " Kaminari mumbled but it was loud enough for me to hear.

" Dude, it was so manly confessing to her infront of everyone. Bakugou is a true man " Came another comment from one of my classmates, Kirishima.

Katsuki was glaring at me his Chest rising and falling at a visible way clearly indicating how aggravated he was.

His crimson eyes held a lot of swirling emotions, Jealousy, Anger, Betrayal and Possessiveness.

" ..... Excuse you!? " I managed to voice out and he tried grabbing me but I was quick to evade his hand.

" No! And Just when I finally decided to give up on you. You decide to throw all this bullshit infront of me Bakugou Fucking Katsuki! No you listen here you Egotistical Haughty Son of a Bitch! I suffered through every shitty insult and pain you threw my way because I loved you and when I'm at my limit and ready to go you give me this!? all you gave me was pain and honestly I'm not a masochistic bitch to accept it with open arms how but my middle finger huh?!. Damn you and your very confusing and petty way of claiming me! That is not happening! You hear me!? So suck it up Bakuhoe and Go Fuck yourself " I actually felt proud of myself but that was the first time I actually raised my voice or even cursed infront of everyone in the first place so their dumbfounded expression didn't really surprised me.

" Wow.... Your girl's as good at Cursing as you are Bakugou " Sero was the first to comment and that pissed me off.

" I'm not his 'Girl' " I emphasized the girl part with a hint of mockery.

" Yet " Bakugou added making me glare at him.

" Fuck you " I grumbled turning around to walk away in victory thinking I had won the fight.

But before I could even take one step forward I was slung over Bakugou's Shoulder hanging upside down.

" Put me down you Fucking Asshole! " I yelled as he carried me away from the common room.

" Hey! " I grab hold of his blonde hair which was surprisingly soft and gave it a harsh tug which earned me a groan from him.

" Bitch! " He yelled slapping my butt making me gasp.

" I should get you mad more often, That was hot " He commented as if he hadn't just slapped my butt.

The nerve of this fucker.

" Put me down!" I growled as he proceeded to carry me upstairs.

" Now don't think I'm done with you just yet. I have to get my sweet revenge because you hung out with Fucking Deku and let him touch you! " He barked as I felt him tighten his hold on my fleshy thigh.

I tried everything I could, from squirming to kicking to punching his back but the guy is a Fucking wall and didn't even budge.

" Stop it Bitch! Save your energy for later. You're gonna need it " He muttered making me react violently. Until he had enough of it and slammed my back to the nearest wall with his strong muscular arms trapping me I'm between with his body a bit too close to mine.

His face was inches away and I visibly gulped turning my face to the side as his breathe fanned my cheek.

" Bakugou I'm warning you. I'm gonna do something YOU'RE gonna regret if you don't let me go " I had managed to say without stuttering and I mentally Pat myself on the back for my strong tone.

" Fuck it y/n. You really think I'd let you get away after Saying all that shit and defending Deku!? After you hopped onto his back like you're HIS!? Well you're Fucking Mine! You got that!? " He yelled making me groan. His voice was too loud and I think my ears are gonna bleed.

" You asked for it! " I yelled back as I prepared to kick him where the sun don't shine but I didn't even get to raise my leg halfway when he pulled me down by my leg and pressed his body against mine even more.

Right now I had no way of moving with my leg trapped against his thighs holding me in place.

" Oh? Was that your Great Fucking Move? Well it's pretty pathetic so kick and scream all you want. I'm claiming you right now " Using his hand he raked my locks down and gripped onto my hair roughly forcing me to face him and his lips had already connected with mine.

His kiss was rough, dominating with a tinge of passion and jealousy. Moving his lips at a better angle his other hand trailed down to squeeze my hips.

I ressisted. I really did but after awhile of him kissing me I melted. My hands wrapping themselves around his neck my chest squeezed with his toned chest. Both of his hands resting on my waist as I stood on my tippy toes kissing him back with the same intensity.

Opening my mouth to give him access he didn't waste a second to slip his tongue inside my claiming his new domain. His tongue wrestled with my own and soon gaining dominance as he continued the rough kiss.

It was a very angry kiss with lots of jealousy coming from him.

When we finally pulled away breathless and panting his intense crimson orbs pierced mine a smug smirk slowly rigging on the corners of his mouth.

" Still refusing me after that? After you willingly kissed me back? After clinging onto me for dear life? " He was either mocking me or teasing me but either way it pissed me off.

" Katsuki I'm gonna rip your throat off if you keep that up " I glared at him but I guess actions spoke louder than words because my neck was still wrapped around his neck and my body still pressed against his.

" Yeah right and a moment ago you called me Bakugou now look who's calling me Katsuki again " He sneered and I tried retreating my hand away from his neck to push him away but he beat me to it; grabbing my arms and using it as leverage to pull me closer towards him.

" I know I did some pretty fucked up shit. I'm not the best person at expressing these shitty feelings I have for you but I will make it up to you, I'm s-soow.... S-sooo.... Rrr... Eeyyyy " The way he forced out a ' I'm sorry ' got me laughing so hard .

He didn't appreciate that because his cheeks were tinted red form embarrassment and anger.

" You Fucking bitch! Don't laugh at me! I'm trying! " He yelled as I continued laughing.

Yeah, seeing him like that was new and hilarious.

My laughter was cut off when I felt his warm lips press a kiss on my cheek.

He looked to his side his eyes avoiding mine.

" Don't Fucking laugh cause I mean it though.... I'll make it up to you.... " He muttered the faint red color of his cheeks still present.

A smile formed on my lips as I stared at him fondly. A small pinkish tint coating my own cheeks but me being me I ruined the moment with a bitchy remark.

" Yeah why don't you practice saying Sorry first while not sounding like you were about to take the biggest shit of your life " I retorted and because of that I began laughing once again and he was raging. Screaming at me to stop laughing but I couldn't help it. He did deserve it after all.

I'm pretty sure I'll get more of my little revenge in the future....

________

Bonus :

" Deku.... I know you care about those two and You're a hardcore shipper but... What you did though... Was it on purpose? " Uraraka asked taking another bite of her pancakes as they listened to the two bicker.

" Who knows " Izuku answered with a contented smile on his face.

" Huh... You're a bit suicidal for doing that but I respect you man. Bakugou finally confessed it was getting pretty sad to watch him act all tough and pretending he doesn't like her " Sero chuckled.

" Hopefully those two will stay strong from now on... " Momo took a sip of her tea and everyone silently agreed with her.

" So.... Do you think they're Fucking? " Mineta suddenly brought up the topic which caused Tsu to slap him with her Tongue.

" Mineta-kun you're being a pervert again" Tsu muttered staring at the purple headed boy.

" Hahahahha! " Denki and Mina suddenly came down stairs holding a camera.

" You guys wanna see what they were doing upstairs? " Denki asked while laughing.

" Dude, invading other people's privacy is Not manly " Kirishima stated bit he couldn't help but be curious.

" .... What happened though? " Kirishima asked taking a peek at the camera.

" Oh you know, They kissed and Bakugou tried saying sorry but it was an epic fail! " Mina laughed and on cue Y/n came running down with an in raged Bakugou trailing hot on her tail.

" Come Back here! " Bakugou barked trying to grab hold of the girl.

" I was being honest when I said you need practice in saying sorry! You look like you're about to shit Bricks! " She yelled merely avoiding the hand of Bakugou that was centimeters away from holding her.

" Drama and Breakfast in the morning sure is pretty Good. But Drama, Breakfast and Comedy in the Morning is The best! " Denki chuckled watching the two interact.

" Oh boy... I have a feeling everything is going to be a lot more louder here than usual " Izuku sighed .

[tomfreakinghollandneedsaoscar]

Ice Cream Princess

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Reader

Summary: There isn't a day that JJ doesn't come to visit you at work. On the day he doesn't, you decide to visit him at work instead.

Word Count: 1,876

Note: A Stranger Things and Outer banks crossover imagine that no one asked for. Please give me feedback on anything but the title, I'm judging it and laughing at myself because of it. I hope you love it!

An ice-cream parlor opens up across the street of The Wreck. The owner quickly judges all of the teenagers that come in looking for a part-time summer job. Luckily for you, your older cousin Robin sweet talks her way - agrees to watch his daughter- to get Hopper to hire you on the spot.

Your favorite co-worker is Steve. Both of you share stories and talk about anything and everything. You're weren't too surprised to find he hang outs with "lil punks".

He has a childish side that comes out when it's you two in the shop. If a touron gives you a weird feeling and tries to flirt with you, Steve takes over like a protective older brother. You started calling him mom when he bossed you around the first time.

Last night there was a party held by the Pogues at the Boneyard. When Robin's girlfriend texts you saying that she woke up with a hangover, you agree with her that it would be best if you cover her shrift.

When you get to the shop on your bike, you park it next to Steve car and cringe when the annoying front door bell rings as you enter. "I'm surprised to see your face this morning."

"Good or bad surprised, mom?" He rolls his eyes as you walk past him and pat his shoulder.

He yells, "the worst!" As you make your way to the small back room and put your backpack in your locker.

You grab the lanyard Pope gave to you and trace the lil doodles Kiara drew on your nametag.

Clocking in, you wave at Hopper through his open office window. He learns further in his chair, arms across his chest.

"You work too much."

"You don't pay me enough."

Humming to the radio that's connected to the speakers that hang from the ceiling, you look over Steve shoulder to see which Playlist he's playing.

You mutter, "I hate that thing" when the bell rings.

JJ is leading everyone, arms flaring around as he jumps on top of the counter. He bends one knee underneath his other leg to sit more comfortably sideways and grins at you.

"You're ass is going to break that and you'll have to pay for it."

"Are you telling me I have a fat ass?" He puts a hand over his heart and fakes cries. "That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me, Princess."

You shove him off, chuckling when he almost doesn't save his fall and trip over his own two feet.

"So dramatic like always and Y/N is still my name." You point down at your nametag. "Y/N. Not Princess."

"What do you guys want today?" Steve asks.

JJ glares at him but smirks when you pick up a scoop. He leans over the counter and says, "I'll like a lick of that."

You tell Pope thank you for slapping JJ in the back of the head, making his gray and red snapback fall off.

He runs his fingers through his hair and you barely catch it when throws it towards you.

"You would look better in it than that." He reaches over to tap on your uniform hat wear.

You blush at the hidden complaint and slap his hand away.

"Stop flirting." John B says as he hands over JJ his ice cream.

Kiara slightly pushes him towards the table, they always sit at.

Steve smirks as he leans against the counter. "Princess?"

In the corner of your eye, you see JJ giving himself whiplash. You know Steve is on a mission to find a nickname for you, especially something that you hate as much as he hates 'mom'.

But JJ doesn't. "It's a long story."

"I'll love to hear it someti-"

JJ claps his hands together as the chair slides across the floor as he stands up. "Once upon a time, little miss Y/N dressed up as a princess one Halloween. There was a picture of proof that her mother gladly showed me. Ever since, I've called her Princess and one day she'll call me her Prince. The end."

Sarah 'awwws' and says, "That's actually really adorable."

"Thank you, I know." JJ says proudly and you both smile at each other.

─────

During your next shift, it's only John B and JJ.

"Well hello there boys."

JJ takes off his sunglasses off slowly and puts his arm on the counter. "Princess."

You try not to pay attention to how good his arms look with his gray tank top.

You're the one who breaks eye contact. You don't miss the little fist pump he does but you miss how his shoulders drop when you look at him after seeing how panic John B looks.

Oh, right.

"We need to get the biggest bowl of Sarah's favorite ice cream. Her monthly came to visit and John B, the sweetheart idiot he is, doesn't remember her flavor."

You make 'o' shape with your mouth. "Got it. It's the end of the world for him. Well lucky for you, I know it."

John B screams out, "I owe you one" as he grabs the cup container from you and runs out to the Van.

JJ puts money in the tip jar. "From future Sarah."

After you watch him put his sunglasses back on and the door bell rings when the door closes, Robin pinches your leg.

"Are you going to start helping me again with this or am I going to have to restock everything myself?"

Blushing, you say, "I'm not Steve."

She stops laughing after a few seconds to say, "I bet you that JJ knows his Princess favorite ice cream flavor."

"Shut up."

─────

Pope, Kiara, and JJ all give you a pointed look when they stop by the shop before seeing a movie. The movie you agreed to go to one minute but then the next you said "wait sorry, I have to work." and hanged up on JJ.

"I'm about to drag you and your cute stubborn ass out of here for once and all, Princess."

Kiara has a hand on her hip, when she says, "You need to take a break."

You close your eyes and throw your head back, annoyed that she's right. "You guys know how much I need this job and the money."

A look of understanding crosses JJ's face but he straightens himself and says in a stern voice, "You are also supposed to have fun with your friends once a while."

"I know that!" He doesn't flinch at you raising your voice.

Thinking he's used to it, your heart and face fall.

"I- I'm sorry. How about we all hangout tomorrow at the Chateau and relax? Or we can do anything you guys want to do. Let John B and Sarah know and-"

JJ strides behind the counter and pulls you in a hug. No one words are needed when you shove your face against his chest and catch your breathing.

Pope puts a hand on his shoulder. "Come on, JJ. We're going to be late."

"You know what? I'm actually in the mood for ice cream not theater popcorn. Go on without me."

Kiara tells you both goodbye and Pope mouths "whipped" and does the wrapped around a finger hand's motion as she pulls him away.

You look up at JJ. "You didn't have to do that."

"Do what?" His cocky grin becomes bigger when you roll your eyes before helping a costumer. He leaves the counter to sit at the table, hands on the bottom of his chin as he does silly faces from behind the stranger's shoulder.

─────

Steve looks up when he hears the bell ring and watches as JJ loses his step.

Before he can walk away, Steve says, "She will be back shortly. I sent her to the bank real quick for more change."

JJ lets the door close behind him. He takes a big breath in as he turns around. "You trust her that much, huh?"

"Don't you?"

JJ lets out a dark laugh. "It's different. You get payed to see her, I do it because I want to."

That's Steve's breaking point. "Okay, I don't understand why or how you started hating me the first time you met me but I think I can get a wild guess why. A attractive, couple of years older comes into her life. You're jealous over nothing, dude. I see her as annoying little sister. And yeah, I get payed to do this shitty job but when she's working too, she makes it fun."

"Are you done?" JJ is looking at anything but him.

"One more thing, don't waste anymore time."

Steve looks at the clock on the wall and figures you'll be back any minute.

"I have to get to work." JJ looks over his shoulder.

He opens his mouth but changes his mind, and closes it and walks out.

On the other side of the sidewalk, he doesn't stop when you call out his name.

──────

"Funny seeing you're here."

JJ slams his tray down on the table next to yours. "I work here."

He stops wiping it down and gets the sudden urge to squirt you with the cleaning product bottle when he hears you tapping your feet against the chair across on of your table.

When he looks around and notices there aren't a lot of people in the dinner room he sits down and huffs and puffs. "Why are you here?"

"What? You can come visit me at work but I can't?"

When you both notice another bus boy, you let JJ grab the nearest glass pitcher and pull you some water.

"Now you can't walk away and ignore me, like how you did a couple of hours ago."

"I'm sure Steve told you all about it." The biter in his voice makes you lean over the table to grab his hand.

He jumps but doesn't pull away.

"He told me that you came in the shop, you looked like a little lost puppy when you made eye contact with him instead of me. You guys actually had somewhat of a conversation, which, I'm surprised actually happened."

JJ smiles a little as you start spinning one of his rings. "Steve didn't tell me what it was about...at first."

JJ can't sit still.

He stands up and as he talks, he walks in pace. "He, he uh- shit. Fuck, okay. He got in my head. I couldn't talk to you cause I didn't want to say something that would ruin our friendship. I didn't even know how I would say it-to be honest, still don't but you're smart, I think you know where am I going with this-"

He stops talking, mid-sentence when you laugh. "JJ, just say it or I'll crush your ego by saying it first."

"I love you." He says it over and over again in the middle of the kisses after you say it back.

He stops when someone yells his name and tells him to get back to work.

You give him a quick peak and have to put your hands on top of his to move them off of your hips.

"I'll see you later, JJ. We can go watch a movie?"

"Sounds like a date, Princess."

[sofreddie]

Serendipitous Souls (Part 3)

Summary: Y/N reveals a bit more about herself as the clock winds down to midnight.

Characters: Dean x OC!Reader, Sam

Warnings: Angst, Fluff

Word Count: 1,581

A/N: Here's where some of the OC comes into play. Were working to the smut, I promise.

"Two hours," she heard Sam whisper to Dean as Sam glanced at his watch, "I think I'm gonna go lay down," he announced louder to the room, "Chuck twisting my insides really took it out of me," he chuckled, rising from his seat and tucking in the chair. Dean nodded in response, his mind too preoccupied with his own situation.

"And, Y/N?" Sam said, stopping and turning his attention to her with a genuine smile, "Thank you. For saving my life," he said with all sincerity and it made her heart clench. She didn't feel like she had done anything. But in retrospect, she supposed she had.

"You're welcome," she responded with her own soft smile. Sam nodded before heading to his room, leaving the pair in awkward silence.

Y/N sighed, her gaze falling to her hands as she fidgeted with the new ring on her finger.

"Have you ever been married before?" Dean asks.

"I have," she nodded, "Didn't end well though."

"I'm sorry," Dean responded. She merely shrugged in response, "Any kids?"

"Uh, no," she said, meeting his eyes as she flashed him a small smile, "He left because we had trouble conceiving," she huffed a laugh, "But I guess that's not going to be an issue now."

"I feel like everything I say is the wrong thing," Dean confessed defeatedly.

"No, it's fine, really," she finally relaxed, shifting back into her chair like she was ready to settle into the conversation, "They're standard 'get-to-know-you' questions. I just have shitty answers," she smirked at him.

"Mine aren't much better."

"I know."

"Yeah, I guess you do," Dean said with a furrowed brow, remembering she's a fan, of the TV show, about their lives. He shifted in his seat, a look of deep thought crossing his features, "So then I guess you know a lot about us then, right? What we do, how we live, who we are?"

"Well, tell me about you then," Dean shook it off and decided that regardless of how he felt about that information, he couldn't be upset about it. She may be a fan, but she wasn't like Becky, which he was grateful for. For starters, she wasn't squealing with excitement or trying to rub all up on either of them. If anything she was distant and trying to avoid or pull away from touch as much as possible. He supposed she still could be like that. But he just didn't feel like she was.

"Uh, well," she laughs and blushes and Dean thinks he likes the sound and look of that. It's such a stark contrast to the somber mood they've been experiencing, "Actually, it's kinda of funny-not-funny, but, uh," she chuckles again, this time seemingly embarrassed and Dean's chest feels warm, "I always felt that your existence-slash-nonexistence was like some big cosmic joke. A-and it turns out it really is!"

She's full-on laughing now and Dean's pretty sure it's a mix of the alcohol and a few hysterics. He reaches a hand across the table, resting it atop one of hers in an attempt to ground her.

"Why is it a joke?" Of all the things she could've said, that's certainly not one he expected. A joke? How could it possibly be a joke?! He remains calm and holds her gaze when she raises her head to meet his eyes. She sighs heavily and pouts and his eyes flit to her lips before quickly going back to her eyes.

"Because," she half-groans, half-whines, slumping back into her chair and removing herself from his touch. He kind of misses the feel of her already. She groans and a series of expressions cross her face and Dean realizes he can read that look. That look says 'let's rip off this bandaid and get it over with'.

"Because, my whole life I've felt so alone, so misunderstood, so out of place," she began. And all Dean can think is, 'Yeah, 'cause you were supposed to be with me'. "I'm the oldest sibling," she starts and Dean thinks he sees where this is going, "My sister? Is four years younger than me. Just like Sam is to you. And me too, by the way. I was born about seven months after Sam," she says with a light blush and a shake of her head, getting herself back on track as she rambles. Dean thinks he likes listening to her talk, even if she is rambling. She's so animated and he's enjoying just quietly taking her all in.

"I also have a younger brother, who's a year younger than my sister," she took a deep breath and Dean's eyes trailed down her neck and to her heaving collarbone peeking out from the top of her shirt. He decided she had a very nice collarbone.

"Both my parents worked all the time, demanding jobs with long hours just to pay the bills. So I was left in charge of my siblings," Dean's eyes snapped to hers and he felt a deep empathy. That was a life experience he was all too familiar with. "I had to cook and clean and do chores and walk them to school and home again. I was this weird third parent to my siblings and this sort of peer to my parents. It was a weird in-between to live in," she complained with a pained expression. Dean wanted to smooth away the crease in her brow.

"There's life experiences that are so precise and unusual, but somehow we share those things in common. When I first watched the show and discovered you," she shook her head, that embarrassed blush returning and Dean realized it kissed her collarbone. He wondered how far it went. "I didn't like you at first," Dean frowned at that, "You were too pretty, too cocky, too 'devil-may-care'," she smirked, "But after you came back from-" she hesitated with a wary glance, "-you know- you were different. And I saw you different. There was somehow more to you, more revealed. So I watched more," she explained.

"And then I quickly realized: here's this person - who has been through the same things as me, the same unusual things that make me so different, so difficult to understand. Here's someone I've been looking for my whole life. Finally! Someone who could truly understand me," she smiled but it wasn't happy as her eyes were filled with tears, "A-and he's a fictional character. It was the most painful cosmic joke ever!"

Several tears fell from her eyes and trailed down her cheeks, dripping off her jaw and chin. She shook her head to come to her senses, quickly and roughly cleaning up her face with her hands and shirt.

He froze, processing her words and how broken she looked over the whole thing. For the life of him, he could only think to say one thing.

"Y/N," he rose from his chair and walked over to her, swinging her chair sideways and crouching in front of her, "I'm right here."

"What?" she mumbled, sniffing away the last of her tears as she looked down at him in confusion.

He shifted, kneeling between her parted legs and resting his hands on her knees.

"I get where you're coming from. And I know how you feel. I get it," he emphasized, squeezing her knees, "I don't know how all this is gonna go or play out," he sighed, shaking his head, "But I know we're in this together, forever," he held up his hand to show his ring before placing it back on her knee, "But if you feel like you need me, for whatever reason…I'm right here. I can be that for you."

"You don't have to," she tried to backtrack and Dean shook his head, moving closer into her and moving his hands to her lower back, keeping her close and focused on him.

"Beyond tonight, we don't have to be anything if that's what you really want," he offered, "But I figure, if we're in this anyway, then why not try?" he shrugged, "Maybe it'll work out and we can be happy. Maybe it won't and we find we're better as friends. I don't know. But I'm willing to find out."

"Just like that?" she was skeptical, but wishful all the same. He was a million times more attractive and distracting at close proximity. His eyes. They were a force of nature all their own and she knew - especially as a fangirl - that she should've seen it coming. But somehow - despite the comments from others who had gone to conventions or the fans who wrote fic after fic about his eyes in painstaking detail - she was not prepared for the depth and captivity of those intense eyes.

"You and I," he said, gesturing between them with one hand while the other remained on her back, "We literally share a soul. We are literally two pieces that make a whole," he chuckled and shook his head, a broad smile adorning his face and she felt her heart stutter and damn near stop for a few beats, "I have to believe that means something. I feel like it does. So I'll trust in that and see where it takes us."

She was surprised and amazed at his confidence, the surety of his statements and confessions. How could he be so okay with it? He so quickly resigned to this 'fate'.

She swallowed hard, very aware of his hands on her - respectfully, but still there.

Forevers:

@sis-tafics

@lyarr24

@calaofnoldor

@hobby27

@spnbaby-67

Dean Winchester:

@akshi8278

@jerkbitchidjitassbutt

Serendipitous Souls:

@brilovesdeanwinchester

@xhannahbananax03

@440mxs-wife

@crist1216

[yeonjunsgoodgirl]

Eclipse

Chapter two:lunch

Tamaki x reader

Attention: this isn't a one-shot, but a story with chapters. I'll post one chapter every week!

Chapter list

 «What happened? You were late.» asked Shoto at the end of the training.

   «I just...bumped into a senior.» she answered, grabbing the suitcase, still a little lost in her thoughts. She couldn't focus during the training, too lost thinking about that guy, Tamaki. He was a little weird, but he caught her attention. His face with red cheeks was too cute and wasn't planning to leave her mind so soon. Aizawa and her classmates were quite worried during the lesson, noticing how many silly mistakes she had made just because of distraction. Mistakes she'd have never made.

   «You're not feeling well, Y/N? Few days and there'll be the festival! You should be ready!» Kaminari asked, placing his right hand on her shoulder. His tone was kinda worried.

   «I just couldn't focus today, I'm sorry guys.» she said quite embarrassed. «I think today's not the day. It happens, right?»

Everyone nodded taking a breath of relief, except for Bakugou who just stared at her. They met just few months ago, but he was sure enough to affirm she was lying.

He'd always asked to himself the reason why he could stand that girl, but not her brother. Eventually he got an answer: her personality was more similar to shitty hair's one. Positive and bright exactly like Kirishima. He could say that she pissed him off in a different way.

   «Come with me.» he said rudely, grabbing her arm and pulling her along with him in the school's hallway.

   «Hey Bakugou-»

   «Shut up half and half brat.» he cut her off quickly.

   «Where are you- Bakugou!» Kirishima called him confused.

The explosive blond boy rolled his eyes, pissed off. «SHUT THE FUCK UP EXTRA, STOP BREAKING MY BALLS I NEED TO TALK WITH THIS BRAT.»

   «Stop calling me brat!»

Bakugou jerked her arm in order to pull her with him. The boy walked far enough not to let their mates to hear them.

   «So?» he said, staring at her. His arms crossed against his chest.

   «So what? You should tell me, since you're the one who pulled me here!»

   «Huh? You're the one who's lying to everyone here!» he said with high voice. «'Today's not the day' isn't a good reason not to do your best! When you'll be a pro-hero? You won't save citizens because you're not in the mood?!»

   «I-I...»

   «I don't wanna hear a word coming out of that fucking mouth if it's not the truth.» he said seriously.

   «It's just... I bumped into a boy before and he was-»

   «Hold on, if the reason is a boy, I do not give a fuck.» he said suddenly, walking away and leaving her shocked.

   «You asked!»

   «Thinking it was something different. I don't have fucking time for a fucking high school crush!»

   «You- fucking fuckhead!» exclaimed Y/N, slamming her foot on the floor frustrated.

Why did he asked if he wasn't interested?!

   «Something wrong?»

Y/N turned immediately hearing a voice behind her. She froze the moment she noticed it was Mirio, along with Tamaki and a girl with light blue hair. «Mirio senpai! I-it's ok, just my problematic classmate, he headed me here and he...left.» she said, noticing she was almost on the other side of the school, the third year hallway. So were Tamaki a third-year student?

   «Yeah I see.» Mirio laughed.

   «T-Tamaki senpai!» she exclaimed, maybe a little too high. «I-I'm sorry about what happened before... M-may I offer you l-lunch?»

Her face was hot, she could feel it, in fact she was trying to lower her temperature through her quirk. Why was she so nervous?

Before Tamaki could get the chance to answer, Mirio pushed him towards Y/N with the other girl's help and greeted him. The boy stared at his friends shocked and speechless for what they had just done.

   «Oh I never introduced myself... I'm Todoroki Y/N.» she said, tapping at his shoulder to catch his attention.

   «I-I'm Tamaki A-Amajiki...» he said avoiding her gaze and blushing. «You don't have to...»

   «Just want to make it up for before. L-let's go?»

Tamaki started walking in silence, his hands into his pockets and eyes glued on the floor.

Y/N looked at him with the corner of her eye, not knowing what to say. The silence was kinda embarrassing. Once they arrived in the cafeteria, Y/N bought the lunch for both of them. Sitting at the same table caught lots of curious eyes which were glued on them: a third-year and a first-year together.

   «Am I making you feel uncomfortable?» she asked grabbing her chopstick and waiting before eating her soba.

Tamaki looked at his food, playing with his hands under the table. Imagining a potato wasn't working. «N-not exactly...I'm not an extrovert person, t-that's it. I'm always l-like this when I'm w-with someone new...»

   «Oh...I'm so sorry, if you prefer having lunch with your friends-»

   «No!» he widened his eyes, realizing he used too much emphasize. «I-I can stay...»

   «You sure?»

   «Y-Yeah...»

Time passed, and almost at the end of the lunch, Y/N noticed Tamaki was more relaxed in her presence. But she didn't miss the mischievous smiles and glances Mina was giving her.

At the end, she found a way to start a conversation with him. He wasn't so inclined to open a bit with her, but then he started do be more confident, answering some questions and even asking something himself. He almost felt comfortable with that girl.

   «I-I've heard about the villains attack at the USJ...» said Tamaki, once he finished his food.

   «Oh yeah, that was... I don't even know how to explain it. It seemed they just wanted All Might I think? The other villains were too weak, they needed them just to keep us busy according to me. But this is just my opinion.»

   «I'd have been so nervous...I mean, it was your first time with villains.» he murmured, looking into her eyes feeling a strange feeling of confidence.

   «Yeah, but no... I mean I got more worried when that Nomu attacked the others. The one which fought against All Might.» she confessed with a little smile on her lips.

   «I'd like to be confident as you are.» said the boy honestly. «I mean, you don't hesitate when you have to do something.»

Y/N smiled. «I think you're perfect this way. Don't misunderstand me, but according to me it depends on the environment in which you grow up.»

   «W-what about yours?»

Hearing that question, Y/N's face got darker as she lowered her head. «M-mine?»

Tamaki was panicked seeing her reaction. Did he said something wrong? Was it too personal to someone she had just met? His heartbeat started to accelerate, scared about her possibly reaction. Did he just ruined everything?

The boy shut up, biting the inside of his cheek not knowing what to do, feeling the familiar feeling brought by an embarrassing silence. He has never been this invasive asking such questions.

   «We're not even close to a decent family, I think? Our father's strict. We don't have many relationships with our siblings. It's complicated...» she answered not falling into details.

   «I'm sorry, I didn't mean-»

   «Don't worry, you didn't know.» she smiled. Tamaki felt a little guilty, she didn't seem to be so glad to talk about her family. It seemed that being the daughter of the number two hero wasn't so easy.

They spent their last minutes together until they saw everybody moved out of the cafeteria, understanding it was time to go back into their classes. For the first time, Tamaki greeted someone reluctant. But his cheeks had become bright red, hearing her say 'see you tomorrow'. 

[woozi]

l&r shua and specially studio choom l&r shua... i still have no idea how i survived that, also it gave us blue hair cheol too <3 ... him sleeveless with blue hair, there are so many happy things just from this cb jdjsksskks i adore it.

wonshua fr were something else during l&r... omg after school, I'm guessing you've been into kpop way before me. anytime any clip from 17tv pops up i'm just ' they're so smol here they're so cute ' but also most of the time i have no context as well it's djjdsjskks. idk why but svt club is still something i find myself watching again i really liked its concept and them talking and sharing their thoughts it's very simple but also heart-warming.

is it creepy if i say i kind of did sghjkk i actually got to know you are interested in got7 recently when i ended up clicking the links in your bio. i swear im not a weird stalker jdjeekke i've been following your got7 blog way before than this one djdjdjjddj i only found this svt one recently after i decided to completely move back to tumblr and started following svt accs. I didn't know both blogs were you for a long time jddjdkd i apologize if it does seem lil creepy JDJDKSKSLS

jinyoung and mark are my biases, my ults actually <3 and yess i'm keeping up w/ their solo projects even more than before 😭 it's so jdjdkdkd. 2017 was the year i started listening to kpop and around that time or lil later i came across ' you are ' this song is so dear to me i loved it in first listen, its lyrics i love its lyrics sm i made everyone i know listen to it dhjddk yet i didn't dive in deeper bc i was caught up with other group at that time but slowly I started watching their content from 2018. it's like got7's been w/ me since the start & at the same time not </3 but look, lullaby and more importantly spinning top came and everything changed with that album it's so goood from then i started keeping up with their music and check their cbs. i knew jype was meh even when i didn't stan them but i didn't know to what extent, i only got to know after 2019. so far it's all so good and i hope it stays like that. all of their different companies treat and promote them nicely 🥺.

with svt it was instant love i got to know abt them during march 2019 ig, their songs grew on me so fast and boom by the time may came i was a carat, with got7 it was gradual love, it increased lil by lil it's nice but i do wish i could've stanned them earlier. the only cb experience as an official birdie i have is nbtm and last piece 😭 anyway both of these groups are very dear to me not just musically but emotionally too. i love them very much 😔.

also omg those are some of the great artists!! i honestly have no idea how khh and krnb are i mostly listen to kpop and kbands more. i actually listen to a lot of artists but regularly only zayn, svt, got7, the rose (ik we're talking abt kpop but i can't leave zayn out of this djdjdkdk he's the first ever artist i have stanned <3)

also onewe, n.flying, a.c.e, gaho ( i love his voice <3) woodz, day6. yk when you want new music but also something which you'd instantly enjoy otherwise you don't want new music sghjk, when i feel like this i just go to any of their discography. also special mention to hoppipolla and lucy bc they always bring something new to the table i love them for it. i love these artists but honestly i listen to them when i am in mood. i listen to gotsvt and zayn the most at the end of the day. goodnight <3 i love talking to you too 🥺🥺🥺 also feel free to answer late when you're free. hoping i made sense in this one and answered everything bc i am too sleepy rn fjdjkd - 🪂

BLUE HAIRED COUPSIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH THE RIPPED ARMS!!!!!!!!!!!1

iconique if u ask me <3 i heard lnr was indeed a good era for everyone!! wasn't it also cheol's first cb after his break? y'all must've had Fun fun

yes i have 😭 i grew up w koreans so... i guess that's also an influence. i got into kpop on my own volition during 4th grade though, so that's prob 2009/10??? GOD I FEEL SO ANCIENT RN!!!! honestly i still dk what 17tv was about i feel like we were just watching streams of some boys w no context as well 😭 AND YES OMG I GET THAT!! svt club is super chill and it's a great way of learning more abt the members!

JKDFJKKJDFFDKJ HELP!!!!!!!!!!! WAIT OH MY GOD YOU WERE IN MY G7 BLOG 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 IM SO EMBARRASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 as i've mentioned last time, got7 got me back into kpop and consequently tumblr 😭😭😭 i 'left' tumblr too and was just checking in occasionally, so when i made that g7 sideblog i was WAY behind the times and my first edits were so fucking- 😭 everything about me then was also so performative idk why i felt the pressure to be in on the club 😭 why were you not annoyed with me then 😭 i'd block me if i saw me on the dash KJFKJFDKJDF thank god i got over it though (or should i be.. i'm a menace on the dash now <3 KJDKKJDFKJF) AND NOOO OMG it's not creepy at all. i put those links in for people to see them after all!! and i'm actually kind of honored you followed me even w/o knowing its me <3 i feel like i've passed the vibe check JJFDKJKJFD do you also follow my main 👀 i rmb someone greeting me here on my bday who said the exact same thing you did 😭

U LIKE OLD MAN JINYOUNG 😭😭😭 ok that makes sense w ur svt bias line tbh <3 i like jinyoung a lot too he's such a smug pain in the ass <3 ALSO MORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i l*ve mark oh my god i- i know i keep saying this... but ur taste <3 AND YOU ARE 😭😭 THE ERAS YOU DISCOVER/GET INTO GROUPS ARE SOOOO GOOD </3 you are was so meaningful to them, and i'm still so incredibly proud of them for this regardless of commercial success. also what group were u into that time omg 👀 I ALSO GOT INTO THEM DURING SPINNING TOP ERA KJFDKJFDKJFJKFDJKFD WHY ARE WE SO SIMILAR!! u seem to like jaebeom's songs a lot <3 AND MS LULLABY!!! oh my god that's my favorite era <3 and yeah, so true bestie, i couldn't be happier for them they're doing FAR better than they have ever had compared to when they were in that shitty company. i'm still so amazed how they pulled all of this off though. jaebeom's must've went thru loads of papework he was prob so determined to show that old man what they are capable of FDJKDFJKD

NAURRR OMG IT'S SO CUTE HOW U PUT IT THAT WAY!! and i'm sure you'll get to experience more cbs with the 7 <3 they were already hinting at it yesterday on twt JKFDJKJKFD

OHHH THAT'S COOL!!! i haven't had a chance to listen much to kbands now, and if u ask me abt them the first ones that come to mind are ft island and cnblue bc im a kpop hag 😭 OH WAIT MAYBE DAY6 for the new ones?? my friends have also been recommending n.flying, the rose, and onewe to me. which bands do you listen to? and zayn??????? <3 ur so right abt that DFKJKJDFFDKJFD also omg go listen to khh they changed my life <3 i can give u a playlist if u'd like!! <3

OH WAIT THERE GOES THE BANDS FKDGKJKJF i usually reply paragraph by paragraph without reading the whole ask so JDFKJDFJK WAIT WOODZ????????????????????????? HELLO???????????????????? I LOVE THAT MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE'S SO SEXIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and he's so cute too if that helps </3 ALSO MOOD I CANT BRING MYSELF TO LISTEN TO NEW MUSIC NOWADAYS EVEN IF I WANT TO BC OF THE SAME EXACT REASON 😭 the way we get each other is so- and i've never heard of hoppipolla omg i'll go listen to them now!! indeed <3 gotsvt is our home <3

and nooo u are so cute omg </3 and don't feel pressured to respond immediately to me as well!! i'm a v late replier but i'll always reply JKJKFDJKFD AND DW everything u said made perfect sense <3 i hope u get/got a good night's rest!! and that you'll have an awesome day ahead <3

[clamityganon]

girl where is my live blogging. where are your thoughts on trc. I've been promised such things dude I NEED IT PLS DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME

AH FUCK I FORGOT ABOUT IT I ALREADY READ THE DREAM THEIVES AND BLUE LILY LILY BLUE I'M STILL WAITING ON THE RAVEN KING FROM MY LIBRARY

i guess i'll just add in my thoughts under the cut? yeah i'll do that

also i don't know when i got this ask because sometimes tumblr puts my inbox in through a wringer and i get things a lot later than i should. hopefully you find this?

dream thieves

RONANRONANRONANRONAN

i loved his POV. what an angsty dude. what a spectacular thought about the taste of gasoline being summery and sexy.

my favorite so far man it was very nice development for ronan and it was a great look into his brain

the book was nice and fast which sometimes made me a bit confused but it held my attentio

kavinsky's... well, he's kavinsky.

i hated him a lot but since we were kinda made to hate him i appreciated how he was written

the gray man was awesome

i hated him and then i hated him more for trying to get with blue's mom but then i realized he was a cool guy and now i love him a bunch

THE KINKS SOUNDTRACK!! i love the kinks

ALSO I LOVE GANSEY TOO HE'S SO CHILL i'd love to talk with him about old welsh kings and drive around in that shitty camaro

however this book did sort of instill some hatred for adam in me because all throughout the book his point of view was unbelievably whiny

i wasn't a big fan of him in this book especially since i liked him quite a bit in TRB

gansey and adam's little trip out to D.C was a little out-of-place to me personally, but i did like how gansey's whole family cared about adam in their own rich-people way

i know we're supposed to ship adam and ronan but gansey and adam were so gay together i couldn't help but ship them instead

annnnd blue was blue

i like her and i love how her outfits are described but i think more can be done with her, y'know? she's technically the main character but i feel like stiefvater threw her aside in favor of the boys

also her sudden "i like gansey now" emotions were confusing as FUCK throughout this arc. it didn't really make sense to me when she and adam were making moves in the first book

blue and noah have such a great friendship though i really love them together! when they went to monmouth and kissed it was everything they were so so so cute

all in all, it gets a solid 8/10 as a book because of everything we saw through ronan's eyes. his back must ache like a bitch from carrying the plotline

blue lily, lily blue

maura you goddamn idiot. you fucking idiot

i thought she was kidnapped but no? she decides to suddenly up-and-leave to look for a man who left her 18 years ago at the exact same time her daughter's entering her senior year and when another perfectly good man shows interest in her

her note wasn't even specific? nobody knew where she was, nobody had any means to contact her...

hurrah, they found her in the end with blue's dad. was i supposed to be happy for her while her family and friends were worried sick about finding her?

fuck you maura sargent, you irresponsible, rash, fool. fuck you

the "finding maura" plot left me feeling disgruntled and frustrated the entire time but i'm gonna stop talking about it before i put my fist through a wall

adam was a lot better in this book! i forgave him for being annoying because we were finally shown why he was so irritable in the last book

ALSO HIM CONFRONTING HIS FATHER!!! GOOD JOB!!!

blue was blue yet again. i keep saying this like it's a bad thing but do know that i like her all well. the scene on the boat was pretty great, with her jumping in and orla shamelessly flirting with everyone.

but blue and gansey were so weird. one second she's saying she finds him irritable and the next she's trying to kiss him? make up your mind! or don't! just don't confuse him or the readers any more!

persephone, persephone, persephone. i really liked her and they just snipped her off :// i'm glad she got along with adam and helped him out before she died though!

the gray man's employer was forgettable and just plain fucking annoying. i really wish ronan had been able to kill him. what a cowardly, weak man. i expected more from him but in the end he was disappointing.

his wife was a girlboss though and while i hated her i respected the grind she went through to get to the caves.

her waking up the sleeper while ignoring neeve's instructions is probably going to be of significance in the next book but i think it's a pretty wonky ending. not really looking forward to her or neeve's return.

[xxisxxisxxis]

La fin

Inspired by this ask.

Present day Duff and Vivian reflect on their romantic relationship

I sat down with my best friend to discuss our affair for the first time in 26 years…and gain a final piece of closure the two of us have yet to attain from one another. 

"This is gonna be interesting because both of our spouses are here." I say as I sit down, at my kitchen bar and Duff takes a sip of his water before joining me.

"Nah, Su's as cool as a cucumber. We got this." He replies. "...I don't know about Sixx but me, you and Su can handle it." He teases. 

"If you get war flashbacks, baby, just remember you're sober." I tell Nikki and he chuckles. 

"I'll just go to the bathroom and sing 'Kumbaya'." Nikki adds and Susan laughs. 

"It won't be that bad." She assures him. "I got my waterproof mascara on. I'm ready." 

"I'm getting through this without crying." I state.

"You cry over google commercials, Viv." Duff informs me.

"Because they know how to market. This happened…" I have to do the math. "...thirty-two and a half years ago. I won't cry." 

"Okay, well, just in case, I came prepared." Susan tosses me a pack of Kleenex. 

"Thank you." I say to her, doubting I'll need it.

"I'm about to start the camera." Nikki tells us, going to press start on the camera he's got set up to film this. "Oh, it's already started." He states. 

"It's okay, people won't care." I shrug, taking a sip of my Pepsi. "Okay, Hey, Guys." I say to the camera. "This is a very special occasion because I'm here with my best friend, and the father of my first child, Michael Andrew McKagan a.k.a Duff McKagan a.k.a Daddy McKagan according to some of you nasty, freaky, bastards." I pipe and Duff rubs his face. 

"Oh my God." He chuckles. 

"Do you read your instagram comments?" I remind him and he nods. 

"It's just so weird to hear it in real time." He explains. "I think that's one of the most odd things you can call a sexual partner. Like…'daddy'..."

We just stare at each other for a moment and I look at the camera. 

"He just single handedly dragged me in the nicest way possible." I say to him as Nikki and Susan try not to laugh. 

"No, I jus--well, you can say whatever the hell you wanna say and call him whatever you wanna call him because you've earned it with the shit you've been through, but it's just odd for me to go online and there's, like, girls 30 years younger than me calling me 'daddy.' Like, I'm not sure if you realize this, sweetie, but I have daughters your age." He points out and I start laughing. "I-I could actually be your dad. Careful now." 

"I think Vince has a higher chance of being these horny girls' father." I state. 

"I know, but it's just food for thought, you know?" He shrugs. 

"I don't even know how to transition from that to the topic--which is a serious topic, but this is just...oh my gosh." I giggle out, not able to stop. 

"Speaking of 'food for thought'," He creates a transition for us to go into what we're talking about and I take the opportunity. 

"Yes, we will be discussing our weird relationship-but-not-really-because-I-was-married-and-confused situationship in honor of my book coming out 'Verbatim: The Truth, The Whole Truth, & Nothing Left Unsaid', which tells everything that happened from 1981, to early 2000s, that people have already read about in everybody else's books." I explain. "I've had this, 'it isn't anybody's business' mindset and now, I feel like I'm in a place where I can tell what happened, including our thing--which is something, believe it or not, we have not talked about as much as people think we have." 

"No, we haven't." 

"I don't know exactly why we haven't spoken about it much, like it happened, it obviously happened because we got a son out of it...we just haven't acknowledged it happened, really. Which is why we're gonna ask the tough questions and hopefully get through some stuff."

"Which is nice because I honestly think the last time we even alluded to it was 1994, right after I got sober, and was advised to resolve things in my friendships, and even then we didn't get everything out there." He replies. "At least I didn't, and I feel like a lot of people have something to say about it, and we spent so many years letting other people define what that time was to us--which it was such a private and personal thing between the two of us that other people's two cent shouldn't have had the impact on us that it did--but we let it get to that point where we lost sight of what it meant to us and let it be defined however the fuck people wanted to call it. And that wasn't good for either of us, and I think that's one of the things that's kept me from bringing it up again. Especially now that, ya know, I'm married, have two grown daughters with Susan, you have Nikki and your children, and I've always thought there's no point in bringing something up that happened--like you said--thirty-two, almost thirty-three--years ago.

"Because you don't want to hear the b.s."

"Because I don't want to hear the b.s." He agrees. "But the more I've thought about it, there are parts of me that feels like I didn't get to say what I wanted to say when we decided to go separate ways, and that just gets fucking heavier and heavier with each year, and I'm sure you might, too." 

"Oh, definitely." I agree completely, able to relate to it. "I feel like one of the main reasons for me, why I haven't tried to talk to you about it is because, like you said, people will automatically start something out of absolutely nothing, but also because I felt like I never had the right to." I state and he furrows his brows a little. "Why did you wait so long to tell me how you really felt about me?

He lets out a breath before thinking a moment. 

"I refused to hinder what little happiness you had left in your relationship with Nikki. I knew you guys were struggling, I knew you were fighting like hell to get your relationship back on track, and I didn't want you to have any more confusion going on than what was already being put on you and if I would have told you how I felt, that would've done that. And then I was with Mandy for a while and that kinda helped me feel like I was over those feelings, but I realized I wasn't when she and I broke up."

"Did anybody else know about how you felt or..?"

"Well, I--yeah, Stevie thought it was just a little, like, I had a crush on you, but Izzy knew I loved you...which is why he wasn't shocked when they found out about us." He says. "...Of course he wasn't surprised because all the Nikki/Vanity stuff happened, so he was kinda expecting you to do something, which--okay, I don't know how to ask this." He admits, thinking of how to word it, glancing at Nikki. 

"What?" I ask him. 

"I just don't want to come across as an asshole for asking this because I'm assuming it's a lot deeper than just...okay, whatever, I'm asking it." He decides. 

"Okay." I prepare for it and he sighs. 

"Why did it take that level of public humiliation for you to realize you weren't in a good marriage?" He asks and it nearly makes the breath leave my body, Nikki and I looking at each other. 

"Because it was public." I confess. "Everything else that had been done, had been done in private. There was no public input on it, there was nobody watching the situation unfold under a microscope, everything that happened up to that point was private. So, he could trip during a crack binge and shoot me and I could stay with him because I didn't have the public watching me, giving their opinions. But when his mistress announces it on TV, I can't just gloss over that because now everybody knows and has an inkling that 'uh oh, they're not this perfect relationship they've made people believe they are' and yes we came out and said it was a lie and tried to undo that damage that Denise caused, so physically I was still in the marriage, mentally I was drawing up divorce papers. And I'm not completely sure it was just the very public aspect of it, I think it was the fact it was her. And I realized, 'I can't compete with a woman who has absolutely everything about her that Nikki is addicted to: she knows how to have a good time, she's equally as wild as him, she's got the sex appeal, she's got all the drugs, she's on the same level as him in terms of entertainment industry' just everything that I wasn't...she was. And I was too exhausted at the point to try to compete with her so I gave up when that came out."

"I remember Izzy ranting, 'she's fucking comparing herself to Vanity and there's no reason to'." He impersonates Izzy and I chuckle. 

"He drilled into my head for years to follow that I was fine the way I was, I didn't need to change anything about my looks, my personality, my hobbies, my sobriety, like it was like 'The Help' when she's constantly reassuring the little girl 'you is smart, you is kind, you is important'." I quote. "Anytime Izzy could see me struggling with myself or not feeling my best he'd be like 'seventeen outta ten, Viv. Seventeen.'" 

Duff looks enlightened, and points to the space behind my right ear. 

"That's why've got '17' right there." He realizes and I nod. "In his writing." He adds. 

"In his writing." I confirm. 

"That's--wow. I didn't know you struggled with that for so long because there was no competition." He assures me.

"Well, I already had shitty self-esteem and then that made it worse, and then even when you and I were together I still had this fear a little bit that you were only with me to help yourself get over Mandy." 

"Abso-fucking-lutely not." He doesn't even think before saying and I feel myself tear up a little. "No way. No freaking way. I loved you, Viv, I really, really did. When you told me that you were filing as soon as the tour was over I started planning out our lives together, as crazy or cheesy that makes me seem, like, I was really going for it." He tells me.

"Duff." I feel guilty, my heart aching a little. 

"I remembered, 'okay, she wants this many kids, she says she likes dogs but really wants a cat, too, she doesn't want to live in the middle of the city, she doesn't want an over-the-top house, she wants to go back to school at some point so I'll put away some savings for that', like, I was planning out everything and fitting Guns N' Roses in wherever there was time in that whole plan. I was ready to be with you and start a life with you. I really, really was." He adds and I see Susan's sympathy for him, only adding to my guilt. 

"Well, just rip my heart out, why don't you?" I ask him to add some relief and Susan giggles, her bright smile coming back to her lips. 

"Right?" She asks. "Geez, babe." 

"I'm just saying." Duff tells us. 

"Nikki didn't even plan his days out when he woke up back then, and then you were there with a calculator adding up how much money you probably needed to put away for my schooling." 

"We wouldn't have had any money to go to school, anyway, Viv, 'cause it was all going to taxes and heroin." Nikki points out and I think for a moment. 

"And house payments." 

"And house payments." He agrees as I look back to Duff, who looks like he's thinking about something. 

"Okay, sorry if this is a weird question, but what did you mean you felt like you had 'no right' to talk about our relationship?" 

"Okay, well, we broke up, I was working on things with Nikki, you married Mandy four months after we broke up...I felt like 'okay, you've already gotten your husband back, he's gotten Mandy back, they're married, who the--' pardon my french ''--fuck are you to bring up your relationship and how it affected your friendship when you're both married to other people and doing your own things? Who are you to be worried with your time with him when you're with Nikki and he's got a wife, now?'." 

"Ohh, yeah. Yeah." He knows what I'm talking about, nodding. "So, you kinda felt like it was disrespectful to dwell on it too long." He adds. 

"Exactly. And I didn't want to disrespect Nikki, or Mandy, or Linda, and now Susan, by trying to work on us again, as friends, because we are exes, whether we want to admit it, we are. We dated. And I feel like it's easy to forget that sometimes because it was so long ago and that freaking sucks because I don't want…" My voice cracks and he looks at me pointedly as tears come to my eyes and I take a deep breath. "...I don't want to forget that time. And I'm not trying to be rude to my marriage or yours or make it seem like I still have those feelings for you, because I don't, but I don't want to forget there was a time in that hellacious cycle my life was in at that moment, that for a few months, I was genuinely happy in the midst of my life falling apart." I explain, sniffling. "And that wouldn't have been the case, if not for you. And I don't want to forget that." 

"Vivian." He says as I grab at a tissue and I see Susan knuckle a tear in her tear duct. 

"I don't know, it just felt like there was never a right time to address what happened fully because everything was happening so fast in our personal lives, for you and Guns, for Nikki and the band, I started having kids, and you got married a second time and your drinking was worse and worse, so it just never happened." 

"Can I ask you something else?" He says and I nod. "When do you think we should have said, 'look, we were together, it happened, and it's okay'. Because we avoided it like the plague for years and still do at times, and that's practically due to--like I said earlier--listening to how people defined it. Like you were called a 'whore' and a 'slut' and just awful shit in public and in papers and tabloids for years after it happened and I feel like because of that, there was that element of 'we should be ashamed of ourselves and just pretend it never fucking happened' surrounding it, even though we had Monroe who's breathing proof of what happened at some point, but we just treated it as if we adopted him together as friends or something like--" I laugh, wiping a tear, and he laughs with me for a few seconds. "--it's the truth, though, we never talked about our relationship. We went on Howard Stern in '88 right after Monroe was born, and he grilled us about it, but we just shut the fuck down after that and didn't speak of anything again for a couple years until we got in that fight over you limiting my time with Monroe, and then again in '94, and that was it--and none of those times really accomplished anything. At all." 

"We should have had that conversation before you got married to Mandy that May." I point out.

"That was so, so soon." He smiles nervously. "That was too soon, way too soon, to get married."

"You proposed to her the day after we broke up." I recall and he nods. 

"I sure did. I sure as hell did. So stupid." He states. "I learned not to make important decisions when I'm in pain. 'Cause I married two different women when I was going through some painful stuff and only made it worse." He explains. 

"And see that's the thing because you had me completely convinced you wanted Mandy. Like I felt so much better when we broke up, knowing you were with who you really wanted to be with, and I was with who I wanted to be with, and then I found out in an argument with you that you were miserable and married Mandy to try to make yourself excited about being back together with her." 

"And that's exactly why I told you that because I needed you to be happy and if I would have told you how I really felt about you, you wouldn't have been happy because you would've felt guilty for staying with Nikki and fixing things with him. And I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I would have put you through that so I married Mandy so fast because I was hurt, and I thought I loved her as much as I loved you, and I held on to that and ran with it." He tells me. "Why wasn't I good enough for you to stay?" 

I go to answer, before the weight of what he's asking really hits me, and several tears topple down my cheeks before I'm wiping them away. 

"I can't begin to put into words how highly you surpassed 'good enough'." I inform him when I finally speak. "Um, my decision to stay with Nikki had absolutely nothing to do with you. That was all me, and issues I thought were resolved within myself that weren't resolved at all, I was just ignoring them." I say. "And something in me was telling me not to stay with you...and I fully believe that was God telling me to back the hell off because he had a plan for you and I had no business accompanying you in that plan as your significant other." I explain. "And I hate to say this, but I really feel like we would have gotten divorced." 

His eyes widen and his brows raise, a knowing smile on his lips as his nods his head. 

"And I hate to think that but we would have made it, maybe, up until '92 because I wasn't even your wife or your girlfriend but just being around you made me so miserable." I admit. "I-It was like--you would get up and start drinking until you passed out that night. I was watching the person who had his shit together the most in my life, fall apart, and that was scary for me because we had a son who was witnessing his dad spiral." 

"Yeah." He rubs his lips together. 

"And getting you to take accountability for what you were doing was like trying to bathe a cat." I add.

"And it took me months after getting sober to evaluate what went wrong in my life with the band, what went wrong in my relationships, what went wrong in my parenting with Monroe, what went wrong in my friendship/co-parentship with you, and own up to what I played a part in because none of it imploded on it's own, or just because of other people, like I played a part in all of it, too, and admitting that took a lot of time to swallow my pride and just accept that I became the very thing I got pissed at Nikki for being, years prior to that, and saying, 'okay, I made all those mistakes, I fucked up, how can I do better and learn from it to better myself, to better my friendships, to better my relationship with my son, and just do what I'm supposed to do?' And I even ended up going to Nikki, and apologizing for what happened between us," he motions between me and him, "because even before you and him were separated over the Vanity thing, knowing you went to me for shit, over him, made him feel less than, made him feel like he wasn't a good enough husband and I kinda felt the same way when he stepped up for Monroe when I was going through my drinking, and it made me feel like I wasn't adequate enough as a father because Monroe was leaning a bit more on him than he was on me, and for the shit I was going through in my life with my alcoholism and drugs, I was doing the best I could do as a dad. And it made me realize that Nikki was doing the best he could do as a husband back when he was in the thick of his heroin addiction, because he was sick and couldn't fucking help himself, just like I was sick and couldn't help myself, and neither of us wanted to hear we had a problem, neither of us wanted help. And I know people are gonna, 'well, Nikki cheated and was mean to her and this and that', I know what you looked like when Nikki was hurting you. I know the look you would get on your face...I know that I hurt you as much as Nikki did through my drinking because you would look at me the way you would look at him when you weren't recognizing the person in front of you due to how royally they had fucked themselves up." 

"Yes." I nod, not even arguing. 

"And that fucking hurt to realize that I was hurting you as bad as he had, and I remembered getting so pissed at him for doing that back in '86/'87 as he got worse, but then I did it, too, and that experience really opened my eyes when I got sober because I wouldn't have been humbled in that way had I not had a drinking addiction and reached that low, and I do think that's one of the reasons that was allowed to happen to me." He finishes and I take a deep breath before asking:

"If Monroe wouldn't have been conceived, if we wouldn't have had a child to come out of our relationship, knowing what we know now, how we ended up not staying together, the public slander and stuff we had to go through...would you still have had a relationship with me, if you could go back and change it?" 

"Without a doubt, yes." He says, matter-of-fact. "It would have been a waste of a blessing to not have taken the opportunity to love someone as recklessly--maybe even stupidly, at times--unconditionally, with the magnitude I loved you with, at such a young age. Like, usually you can expect to find something like what we had when people get a little older, and get through all their bullshit relationships before finding the person that loves them for them fully, but I had the chance of experiencing that when I was, like, in my early twenties...and I didn't experience that again, and so much more, until I met Susan." He says and I nod. "And I don't want you to think that because we haven't spoken about it, maybe as much as we should have, that I'm ashamed of you or us or embarrassed, because I'm not proud that we did what we did in that timing--because it was really shitty timing and we both can agree on that, I think," he raises his brows and I agree, "but I will never be ashamed, or apologetic,  or embarrassed that I ever had that with you. I felt like one of the most fortunate people to even know you, and then to have that relationship we had--even for the few months it lasted--was just...it was such a short time compared to how long you've been with Nikki and how long I've been with Su, but we spent it loving each other the best that we could. And we really did love each other, and we do still love each other--even if it's not in that same way, the spirit of it, I guess, is still there. There's still that 23 year old kid in me that'll kick somebody's ass over you, and wants to see you happy, and is in absolute love with you. And don't get me wrong, there's a 56 year old me that wants to see you happy and that'll still kick somebody's ass over you." He clarifies, making me laugh. "I'm just pointing out that even when those feelings went away, I don't think that bond ever did." 

"Yeah." I nod, sniffling as I press a tissue to under my eye to catch more tears. "Do you, um...do you remember our break up?" 

He exhales and gives me a little smile, nodding, before tears come to his eyes.

"I--yeah, I...I remember it…" He informs me. 

"We had just gotten done messing around, and if we did anything before we went to bed we would just stay in bed and go to sleep, but if we did anything in the afternoon or whatever we'd get up shortly after and clean up and go about the day. And we got done, it was, like, 2:00pm, and it was this odd feeling in the midst of it that 'this is gonna be the last time we ever do this with one another', and neither of us said a word, we just laid there with each other for four hours when we were done, taking in every second that we could. Well I finally got up to go back home and check on Nikki because he had OD'd the night before." I explain. 

"And you went to the door to leave and I stopped you, and was like, 'I know you're going to make things right with Nikki, and I'm going to fix things with Mandy, and I want you to know that I love you, and I'm proud of you, and I always will and always will be'. Of course you can understand me a little better now because I was crying when I choked those out, but, um," he laughs and I smile back more tears. "And you said, 'thank you, I love you, Duff' and gave me a kiss and a hug and then you were gone." 

"And we rarely spoke about it, again."

"And we rarely spoke about it, again." He confirms and I let out a breath, feeling more tears swell in my eyes. "What a fucking way to end a relationship." He adds. 

"This is where I'm really gonna start crying, um…" I start, chuckling nervously. "...I wasn't thanking you for being understanding, I was thanking you for everything that you'd done for me, and it took me a while to understand that that was one of the things I felt like was unresolved because that 'thank you' had a lot of weight behind it." I tell him. 

"Okay." He tells me, listening intently. 

"This is so freaking stupid and unhealthy but I wrote suicide notes for when Nikki finally OD'd and died, because I knew if he were to go, I'd have to go with him, I couldn't live without him." I tell him and he looks a shocked. "You taught me that I could live without him when I didn't think that I could, and you brought me so much peace and rest in a time when I couldn't remember the last time I was at peace, and I sure as hell couldn't get any rest. And I felt, and still feel, so indebted to you for those months that you spent trying your hardest to fix what you didn't break--you risked your career over me, you protected me, you defended me, you supported me, you loved me--and that's what I was thanking you for that day, and I feel like I've got a weight off my shoulders now because I have never told you that and I've always wanted to but didn't think it was a good time." 

"Holy shit, Viv." He wipes a stray tear, and I see Susan doing the same, Nikki just smiling at me like he's glad I've gotten that weight off of me, because he knows I've been wanting to say it for years.

"And I'm sorry it was such a shitty breakup that kind of came out of nowhere." 

"The way you were screaming and crying and begging God whenever we were trying to get Nikki to wake up, I knew if he lived you were gonna fix things. I was prepared for it, I promise." He assures me. "And I'm really glad we got to do this and get this out there with each other and I really hope you were able to get some closure with this, because I really did." 

"I did, too." I nod, wiping more tears. 

"I love you." He tells me as we get out of our chairs, giving me a quick, innocent, peck on the lips, before hugging me tightly.  

"I love you, too." 

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