#which is why i stopped majoring in it

[mwagneto]

to spend an entire movie insulting hugh jackman for being old and out of shape even though he's been pretty open about the absolute hell he put himself through to be in the shape they wanted him to be for these movies and about how the training permanently destroyed his body. and THEN for the payoff to be that oh dont worry he's still extremely buff and ripped with an 8pack so he's hot and cool after all<3 is so incredibly evil

[lightningidle]

Fig's line "I don't think I'm an artist, I think I'm just a good friend" has not left my head at all. Just...

You're Fig Faeth and your horns came in over the summer and you pick up the bard class as a form of adolescent rock 'n' roll rebellion, and it works! It's exactly the outlet you need! You give a guy you just met drumsticks and you start a band and it's good enough that within a year and a half you're touring. You are, in every sense, good at being a bard.

And then, finally, your junior year, you start to take it seriously. Your art goes from an outlet and a form of rebellion to a practice. A discipline. (Can rebellion exist within a discipline?) Your classmates know what they want to do with their work. They all have a thesis statement. And yeah, there's cohesion in the music you make, but you've never had to think about why you make it. You've never sat down and dissected what it is about bass that speaks to you. You've never poured over your lyrics to pick at any deeper meaning. Why should you? You don't play music for a grand design, you do it to... huh, why do you do it?

(Your art is the one form of self-expression that feels as safe as Disguise Self does, because even if you're pouring your heart onto the page and then screaming it in front of thousands of people, it's not like you're really making yourself known. You can sing I'm lonely, I'm scared, I'm furious, and your fans will sing it right back, and there will still be the distance between performer and audience to keep your heart safe.)

Now you're being asked to look inward to explain the artistic choices you're making, and you can't help but recoil at that, because you'd rather do anything than look inward. Meanwhile, your classmates have no problem with it, so you start to wonder if you're a real artist at all. Can your art be authentic if it only exists to bolster a thesis statement? Has your art been unauthentic this whole time because you've never really thought about a thesis statement before? Is that what makes it art, and not just the next track on somebody's teen angst playlist?

You can't think about yourself— acknowledging your own existence makes you want to puke. So if your music is an extension of yourself, (and it is, even if it's just because the spotlight reveals only what you want it to,) you can't think about your music. You can't. You have to. Your grade depends on it.

You're Fig Faeth, and you keep multiclassing because you'd rather be a good friend than a great artist. If introspection is what great art demands, then fuck it. You must not be a bard at all.

[an-actual-floof]

best vindication I’ve ever received is learning that Leonard Nimoy and I are of the same opinion that Amok Time is one of The best Star Trek episodes. this is so false but at least we are both delusional

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Thr thing abt me is that I want to know exactly how psychiatric medications work. I don't want the simplified version. Dont give me the "I'm talking to the public" answers. I want the specific mechanisms and how exactly it causes its side effects.

[nostalgia-tblr]

I watched Avengers: Age of Ultron (apart from I skipped some overly long action sequences) and I am not sure so can someone tell me whether or not Tony Stark was the baddy in that film? Because about halfway through I was sure he was but then it was maybe just an evil robot after all and I am confused because either this film was surprisingly subversive or it was about robots hitting each other.

[dayurno]

(heavy french accent) kévi… so zis is true….. ze historrí of all hitherto existing society is ze historrí of ze class strugglé…..

[godsfavoritescientist]

Biting the bars of my enclosure about autistic ford tonight. There's something about him using vocabulary and turns of phrase that seem "outdated" or "pretentious" that feels so painfully genuine to me. When people say he talks like that just to "try to sound smart" I wish I could explain what it's like to be so ostracized from your peers growing up that you spend all your time reading instead, to the point where you pick up your way of speaking from books instead of from people. And then what it's like for people to call you out for "talking weird" over and over again, not able to wrap their heads around why the fuck you would choose more archaic or technical or formal words than the simpler ones that surely come to everyone's minds first. What it's like to have to dedicate a sizable chunk of attention to filtering through every single word you say out loud in real time before you say it, to make absolutely sure that it isn't a word people will judge you for using or make fun of you for using, just so you'll have a chance of being taken seriously. Learning through trial and error how to filter out the words that other people don't think are normal or casual enough for the conversation, even though for you, the word choice that's "natural-sounding" enough for them is the third or fourth word you came up with when searching for the right way to phrase something in your head. I wish I could explain just how long it takes to say fucking anything after spending a lifetime doing that during every single conversation, and how repetitive and long-winded you end up being when you spend so long coming up with alternative ways of saying every little thing you ever think. And I wish people realized that, at the very least for autistic people and autistic-coded characters, speech that's seen as pretentious is really just the way they talk when they're not putting in the extra effort to filter through every word they say just so others will take the time to listen.

[pandoratelenor]

The realisation that Lace Harding and Liara got the same voice actor :O

I could not hear that at all. Well, at least it is now confirmed that the voice actor was innocent for the weird way Liara lines was always said. She can apperntly act. Something else in production caused that

(Or she has gotten alot better at voice acting sense than me1. It was a while ago lol)

[hero-dualies-pog]

why is all the transmasc/transfem discourse the exact same

[nexus-nebulae]

trying to sort our simplyplural but there's enough of us that we need to use smthn like a spreadsheet to do that. but also. how tf do we sort source categories when we have so many multifictives

[100-gar]

Controversial take but i watched all of jjk, in subbed, so it had my full attention 100% of the time, and i am of the opinion that it just fucking sucks.

So me and my wife were talking about it, and we were trying to figure out why people like it and we've come up short. I do not understand what's so appealing about this show for so many people. Can someone PLEASE tell me.

[mwagneto]

i think what's really been getting to me the past few months is the realisation that i dont relate to literally any of the mental health stuff i see anywhere. like whenever there's some affirmation or motivation or just relatable-sounding posts in general they all seem like such common problems and it's like, damn i literally dont experience any of that. and yet im still crumpling. something uniquely wrong with me

[unnonexistence]

i need to read more math papers because so far the thing that has been most frustrating about trying to relearn stats/learn data science is i'd have a practical question like "how do i decide the bin width for my histogram?" and it felt like the things i was reading were shrugging their shoulders at me. like "idk, you pick the one that is best for the data." and that was incredibly frustrating because it felt like What's Best For The Data was some sort of arcane instinct data scientists possessed, with the only way to learn it being "idk just practice and you'll get the hang of it". awful. awful awful awful.

however! turns out histogram bin width is actually an active area of research! there are Rules Of Thumb for it but there is no one way to do it because "best for the data" depends on your goals. it's just an optimization problem, and as with any optimization problem "best" depends on what you're optimizing for. probably a lot of things in stats are like this. i am back on solid ground again.

[aphverse-confessions]

i find people who include fantasy racism, sexism and homophobia in their rewrites for ‘added drama’ and ‘issues’ are extremely unoriginal and lacking creativity. if your go to conflict is always fascism just because you have no creativity to try and come up with anything else besides what you know and is obviously ingrained in your brain, you should sit down and think why your go to awnser is always fascism.

.

[sadgirlautumn]

I’m currently very upset about the American healthcare system. Like I hope they know that they are making people actively sicker 🫶

[quicksilversquared]

Had an idiot pull out of the (completely stopped) left lane directly in front of my car (going ~30 mph, because the right lane wasn't clogged) when driving home today- without signalling, and presumably without checking to see if anyone was coming- and missed hitting them by about a foot when I stomped on the brakes. Then I went to the grocery store, and apparently their website lies about not only which aisle some of their products are in, but also what products they actually carry, so 3 of the five items I made the trip for to get weren't actually there. They are apparently also not carried at the local Target, and the other local grocery store's search function is apparently completely down at the moment, so no way to tell without going in person if they have those spices or not (and the store is a pain in the ass to get out of most of the time- well, at least the parking lot is). Got home, found out that I'll not be able to use the ceiling light in my room for probably a month because it's acting up (flashing when turned on, intermittent flickering at other times) and the landlady is going on vacation for two weeks starting this weekend, so can't schedule a maintenance person before she takes off (and will presumably take a week or so to get someone scheduled upon returning) (she is ordering a light stand to use in the meantime, but overhead is so much better) (worth pointing out tho that I first brought up the flickering at the start of July, before I went on my trip, and it remained unaddressed for a month and a half). Then I found out that one of the keys on my keyboard isn't working (the down arrow), so that will have to be addressed at some point, but this is the week leading up to the start of the semester and is therefore the most chaotic time to a) schedule a repair consultation with the local computer place and b) not have my computer (hopefully only for a day or so).

....yay Monday.

(also had some stuff in the lab not work out the way that it was supposed to- like, diluting a DNA sample should not have resulted in an increased concentration reading. So I get to figure that out with my advisor tomorrow. Yippee.)