#which is why I’m always EARLY
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paradoxolotl · 3 months ago
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I hear better out of my right ear and sometimes words mean nothing in my left
I write with my right and so I sit on the right side of the room and twist ever so to the left when in class. This puts my right ear closer to the front and further from background chatter while also being the best for a quick glance at the board while taking notes without having to twist my head (usually)
Unfortunately when people behind me talk or people on the far side of the room talk it’s buzzing nonsense mixed with words which means I have to TWIST myself around to better hear them
Which puts my back to the front of the room
And I’m just staring dead eyed at the people behind me as I listen to a classmate ask yet another unrelated question
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sesamestreep · 27 days ago
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“requiem for methuselah” crazy ass episode for many reasons. Kirk is being fully insane, like I don’t actually think, even controlling for how quickly and easily and readily he seems to fall in love with anybody at the slightest encouragement, that he’d go that bonkers for that android woman he just met while everyone on the ship was this close to dying, but that’s neither here nor there, because in the background you’ve got an equally but much more subtly insane episode for Spock, who extremely uncharacteristically admits to experiencing an emotion (or nearly experiencing, whatever) and that emotion is ENVY of all things. And then spends the rest of the episode warning Kirk away from this new love interest (something that doesn’t usually happen, even when Kirk has very inadvisable love interests) and is, in the end, the person who accurately identifies that Rayna’s competing love for Kirk and Flint is ultimately what overwhelms and destroys her with the most killer line in maybe history???
And then to wrap it up we get an equally uncharacteristic sort of denouement scene (TOS loooves to cut an episode off right after the actual climax, leaving little time for falling action or character reflection, or to stick a sitcom-y button on the end where the gang all smiles and laughs at their misadventures and everything resets to zero, which is not a criticism, it’s just the style of that era of tv, honestly) where Kirk is literally miserable over Rayna’s death (again, kind of unusual for a lot of his love interests, he tends to be able to move on pretty quickly) and Spock goes to see him and he falls asleep right in front of Spock (also odd) and then when Bones comes in to give the final word on Flint, Spock waves him off from waking the Captain (tender) and Bones gives him that awful speech about how it’s sadder that Spock can’t even imagine the love Kirk felt for this random android woman than it is that Kirk lost her in the first place (debatable but also rude) and how his great tragedy is that he can’t love at all like they can and how all he wishes is that Kirk could forget about all of this and move on. AND THEN, to have Bones leave and Spock go over to Kirk and very gently, tenderly, reluctantly touch him and put his hand to his forehead and tell him to forget and HAVE THAT BE THE END OF THE EPISODE??? What am I supposed to do with that??
#‘the joys of love made her human. the agonies of love destroyed her’ hUH. What a cool line.#hope it doesn’t become some sort of…thesis statement for you or something SPOCK#listen my number one beef with the way they write bones is that they just make him completely mischaracterize everything to suit the plot#this man is not an idiot he KNOWS Spock has emotions and just suppresses them#you’re going to tell me he’s been on that ship with Spock for years and thinks he feels no love whatsoever for anyone???#like even after what happened in the empath and in that episode where McCoy thought he was dying#he knows Spock loves people!!! COME ON#does he really just mean romantic love?? that’s so boring WRITE HIM BETTER#also they’re banking a lot on people remembering what the Vulcan mind meld is for that last bit#like I know it comes up a lot but…this is 1968 or whatever. They don’t have this shit on dvd to rewatch#you’re counting on really dedicated fan memory here or on people catching reruns#because otherwise it just looks like Spock waiting to be alone to touch Kirk as tenderly as possible and pray he forgets this woman#truly what’s going on#anyway I kind of hated this episode#like quite frankly there was too much going on#are androids people? would Kirk fall in love that hard that quickly and choose it over the safety of his crew?#why wasnt the illness ravaging the crew a bigger deal??#they didn’t even get into WHY flint was immortal#he was just a regular human and apparently the ONLY one who was granted immortality by the earth’s atmosphere#leaving aside the very creepy and very early born sexy yesterday trope going on throughout#but it was a really good Spock episode if you just….dont look at anything else….#the writer for this one also did Day of the Dove and Mirror Mirror which explains a LOT#two other episodes that are interesting for the character dynamics but really chaotic plot wise#anyway imagine saying to Spock’s face that he has no idea what love can drive a man to do#one has to laugh#tos#star trek#as always…. I’m sorry that I’m Like This
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blushy-tigerrr · 4 months ago
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vent in tags sorry
cw: mention of loss
#adding a long note to the beginning so no one sees the actual vent in the case that they don’t want to which is absolutely okay#okay that’s probably good#i feel like a failure today.#my car wouldn’t start on friday and i haven’t had a moment to actually call a mechanic until today#called early in the morning and he said he’d call me back with a time#i’ve reached out multiple times since then and have heard NOTHING#if i don’t get it fixed today i’ll have to take my partners car instead#and when i asked them if that would possibly be okay#they started off on a rant about how they were planning to do all this shit tomorrow morning and now can’t if they don’t have their car#but genuinely. how tf was i supposed to know about their plans?? why did they have to say it all like this is completely my fault???#i’m sorry that i’m still in a not so good mental place right now and might forget to do things in a more timely manner#i’ve had two grandparents pass away in the span of a few WEEKS. give me a little grace.#i give them the same understanding every day when they’re having a rough time#so why can’t they offer me the same thing?#i know they’re just stressed and tired and busy but FUCK SO AM I#i’m just. over it. i want to go to sleep.#and by sleep i mean literal sleep i’m not insinuating anything darker i promise#i may be in a rough spot mentally but it is not that kind of rough <3 i’m safe#just. very tired. and in need of support.#i feel like i’m always giving and rarely getting support in this relationship.#and now i’m just feeling like a burden and an inconvenience for even needing the extra support in the first place#the urge to run away and start my life over is strong holy shit
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justsomeguycore · 11 months ago
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ok so the next time you tell yourself “being late is not that big a deal” i want you to imagine the person you’re meeting sitting alone and feeling awkward and abandoned and checking their phone and wondering where you are
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jutsuuu · 1 year ago
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girl help I’m experiencing
#weird addendum but pls don’t reblog my vent posts??? why would you even want to????#everything has been So Much lately and I wasn’t gonna vent but then I remembered this is my blog and I can do what I want#one of my best friends left the country last week and he’ll be gone for like two years and I’m so sad without him around#I mean he’s been messaging me every day since he left but it’s still hard not having him here yknow?#and I’m moving into his place but it requires a lot of work before I can so I’m always exhausted#and my joints have all but given out on me completely so I’m always covered in KT tape and braces#which doesn’t gel very well with moving furniture and heavy boxes#and I have no money so I need to be job searching but I can’t do that until I move. BUT I NEED MONEY TO MOVE#on top of that my grandpa died and there’s so much family drama involving that it’s unreal#and weirdly the thing I’ve recently felt bad about is I’ve been neglecting my self imposed Fandom Duties#maybe not fandom specifically but like. creative duties#I want to write fic. I want to draw. I want to read and comment on other people’s stuff#I also really want to do more of my non fandom writing because I want to get something published this year. but i got no good idea aaack#or early next year#and I’ve just had like. no time at all to do any of it and the time I have had I’ve been too drained to do it#ughghghghghghggh#I think today I will drink and try to write something. as a treat.#after I go on a reblog spree to bury this because emotions are very embarrassing#anyway how are you?
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itspileofgoodthings · 11 months ago
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imjustexistingtbh · 4 months ago
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god todays just been awful hasn’t it
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bibleofficial · 5 months ago
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i dream of being able to go get a couples massage but instead of w the love of my life it’s w my colon & she finally gets what the FUCK has been WRONG w her WORKED out 😭🙄
#stream#GET A GRIP#I HATE BEING ALIVE#i need to make a new tag where it’s literally just posts of my pussy causing my suffering#shitter nation#that’s it#that’s the one#swag#i say swag so innocuously that my chinese flatmate will just say it too & it makes me laugh like u know when someone has like an affirmation#& start saying it it’s that except i feel bad kind of bc the way i use it is literally butchering the word#me sitting on the bus & it stops: swag#it’s just so fucking funny ALSKLAKSLAKSLAKSLAKALAKSLA like I CANT HELP IT IM CONSTANTLY SAYING IT MY BROTHER GOT ME STARTED DOING IT LIKE#THIS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#anyway#my family got hit by the hurricane yesterday & thank fucking GOD that PINE FELL IN THE OPPOSITE DIECTION bc YALL#literally it would’ve taken out the bedrooms#like the whole root system has TIPPED#but do we know why ? YES WE FUCKING DO & ITS BC FATHER KEPT CUTTING DOWN ALL THE BRANCHES bc ‘it’ll damage the roof!’ which i mean in this#case … FAIR …. BUT ALSO IN THIS CASE IT WAS SOOO TOP HEAVY#i mean like they always made ME afraid bc u can see them sway but i just thought ‘like a sailboat u need a mountain of a wave to tip’ &#hurricanes ? are the mountain … BUT SHE LASTED DURING ALL THE OTHERS#LITERALLY ALL OF THE OTHERS like this tree is older than the house & the house is OLD [FOR AMERICA] it was built in the late 70s/early 80s#like she took HARVEY & IKE FINE#which i was there during but i worry abt them bc of the lack of cell service wifi & power but i know its over so its just clean up now#sucks to be my brother bc my father sent pics of him w an axe having to cut the tipped tree from the road lmfao#wait why is he using an axe we literally have a chainsaw#probably bc the tree’s wet & it’ll fuck up the chain & it has to be out of the road bc that’s where it landed btw lmfao it was house or road#& it’s in the road thank FUCK - NO DAMAGE TO ANY CARS literally we were sooooooo LUCKY#ANYWAY i’m only on a few hours of sleep & tired & my knee kills bc it actually got damaged during the omar assault so ive a new knee brace#swag … :( im just so tired. i’m so over constantly feeling like im being watched 24/7 it has genueinly put so much stress on me
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kavehater · 6 months ago
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Okay after freaking out about alhaitham it’s time to be neurotic again that girl is freaking me out sm :D
#like bro I don’t understand wallah I don’t#I’m so confused and it’s literally ruining everything#dora daily#AND I NEVER SAY WALLAH ABOUT ANYTHING THIS IS HOW BAD ITS RUINING ME AAAAAAH#on one hand she’s ignoring me on the other she isn’t and she genuinely doesn’t see any of my posts#on the other she just forgot#ALL OF WHICH ARE SHIT OPTIONS#IT ISNT FAIR#i even tried liking her posts to show her yo I’m alive in case she didn’t see#I TRIED SENDING HER AN ASK ABOUT SOMETHING WEEKS AGO AND SHE DIDNT REPLY#I am trying so freaking hard and it is not working#and it’s fucking me up because what the fuck did I even do man#I didn’t do anything different#why do people ALWAYS do this I don’t fucking get it#it would’ve been much kinder if she just dropped me from the beginning when I was so hesitant with her#before I got so attached because what she’s doing right now is literally not only torture but so incredibly cruel#like I was getting obsessed with this one girl at work once but she ghosted me relatively early on in the very beginning stages of my#obsession coming into fruition and guess what IM TOTALLY FINE WITH IT NOW#BUT SHE LET THE RELATIONSHIP DEVELOP FOR MONTHS#then introduced a third party then now she doesn’t even acknowledge me#she is making me sewerslidal and it’s literally ruining everything#any time I would try to study I think of her and it freaks me out#every time I try to focus I think of her and it freaks me out#even when I go to sleep bro#like 8 ish weeks ago or so it literally was making me so messed up that if I hadn’t gone outside for a necessary out of uni task then my dad#taking me sight seeing in said area I genuinely don’t know what would have happened#because the level of rage I felt or whatever it was#was the most insane form of genuine torture ever#THIS WHOLE POST SEEMS NEUROTIC AND I’m just like I don’t even know anymore man#but what do I even do atp like bro
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exopelagic · 10 months ago
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honk shoo.
#but yeah sleepy.#i have so much to do these next few days I’m gonna die#meanwhile I just wanna see my friends#the good thing is that some of the busy things involve seeing my friends but goddamn why are almost all of them hard#also YES I’m going to be dumb and gay again bc a) why shouldn’t I b) nobody can stop me#I’m being dumb and gay again.#now seen The Guy twice since I’ve been back and he’s very cool#still feel like I’m being insane god idk what I’m doing#I hope he comes tomorrow bc he can’t make the meeting which means he won’t be on committee which sucks bc he did want to#OH but I did mean to tell him there was one role he could go for and have a good shot at that I think he’d be good for#only problem is if he doesn’t come tomorrow I can’t tell him in time bc I don’t have any way to message him other than email#(which feels slightly creepy bc I only know it bc secretary and he’s never explicitly said his surname so it’s just inferred from the list)#idk. the thing that gets me is we are very much friends now. like early stages of friends but we keep talking at hockey#and importantly he keeps coming To Me which keeps surprising me bc he does it more than any of my other friends#but I guess I’m also coming to him kinda a lot too. self awareness falls when around cute boy you get how it is#god it’s so unfair why is he like this#I finished getting my skates off before he did yesterday which gave me a very good opportunity to Look while he was talking#and have it not be weird and he’s just very pretty. he’s got a rlly nice nose#i always feel insane pointing out noses it’s the Draw speaking bc I use noses as a focal point and they’re fun to draw#tbh it’s unlikely I will say someone does Not have a nice nose but idk let me have this. it would be fun to draw is maybe what I mean#and I hadn’t noticed before bc the like bridge? and uhh like. base? idk nose words but they don’t match#the bridge is super long and on the thin side w a bump like mine but the like bottom is much rounder and wider and I don’t see that mix much#he also just has rlly nice hair it’s super curly and he’s in that like weird light brown purgatory where it’s all different colours#like it’s mostly light brown but some bits look rlly dark and some especially at the ends is like almost blonde and it changes w the light#god he also keeps doing this dumb fucking thing where he’s trying to skate while squatting all the way and it’s ridiculous#he looks like a spider folding in on itself and the worst part is he can fucking do it#he’s gotten so good at skating recently and I have a feeling he lives somewhere with an ice rink bc I’m sure he’s better than he was novembr#yeah I also got to just stand and watch him play yesterday and it’s so incredibly horribly unfair#anyway I’m too fucking gay and I will not let him escape me again tomorrow I Will get his instagram or smth bc I swear this man#luke.txt
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enigma-the-anomaly · 2 years ago
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you know how in the first hunger games book when katniss sleeps in the cave and it’s mentioned that in the dark of the cave she is allowed to move her face how she wants without having to put up a façade for the cameras. yeah that’s kinda fucked up. anyway I consider the shower and my bedroom the only ‘safe’ places where I can emote/do whatever without fear of being watched/judged by others which is kinda pathetic
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fruitmouse · 4 months ago
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looking at pics of me with long hair is sooooo strange now
#lots of love for girlmax in my heart but man. weird#so obviously repressed it’s a little insane. open your eyes boy#‘girlmax’ is. a joke btw. hi hacker gang#but like i didn’t even really take care of my hair correctly it always looked a little odd 😭#very glad with where it’s at now but like#idk. i don’t know why it’s so hard to look at old pictures of me#well i do but#looks away sheepishly#i feel like a completely different person than i was (counts on my fingers) 3? 4 years ago?#i’ve been looking at a lot of old pictures and messages from like middle school/early hs and it’s so#idk#cringe embarrassing etc but also like. weirdly miserable#which is like an obvious trademark of Being Thirteen but it’s so odd because i had no idea where it was coming from#idek if miserable is the word. melancholy?#oh. like the movie#that just hit me like a train actually#DONT watch i saw the tv glow. don’t do it .#/pos i guess#anyway#i’m glad to be who i am today i guess. is what i mean#even if i’m not all the way there i’m definitely closer to being someone i’d actually like to be#weirdly enough i think a lot of it was from living largely on my own for the past few years#not like Real Life Responsibility (trust my father still sponsors my existence. love him) but just like#i dunno#not being terrified of having every aspect of my life and expression picked apart in my own home. or something#i miss my sisters i guess i miss my mom but i do think i needed that sort of. cocoon state for a bit#idk. i think i died for a while & im glad for it#i sideeye That Movie again.#anyways. being trans is nuts#something something finn adventure time ‘im me again’ line something. whatever
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imbeingtauntedbyachild · 4 months ago
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If people can hype up vivid mid squads 2nd hakolim of the year I think I’m allowed to adore more more slays airi5 hakolim ft shizuharu
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bibleofficial · 1 year ago
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found out the name of the hot guy in my class ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) but his instagram is private ( ͡° ʖ̯ ͡°)
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sttoru · 5 months ago
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ahh i just cant stop thinking of sukuna's fav concubine getting injured from the other concubines but she hides it because shes scared of being weak (in sukuna's eyes) and/or a burden ☹️☹️
 𝝑𝑒 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒. true form!sukuna x concubine!female reader. fluff, sprinkle of angst n comfort. size difference. reader gets called ‘brat, woman, little one’ — ig this is a bit early in their relationship
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“i’ve arrived, my lord,” you announce your presence once you step into sukuna’s quarters. the dimly lit room removed all the stress you currently had in your system—the knowledge that you’re safe in his space causes your shoulders to drop.
sukuna turns his head to look at you while he’s laid back on his bed, topless. all four of his eyes roam over your body, which isn’t anything unusual for you. he always does that.
“tch. took ya long enough,” the king of curses scoffs before gesturing for you to come closer, making that familiar motion with his fingers, “when i order y’ to come, you’re supposed to drop everything and rush to be at my service, woman.”
you hurry over to his side of the bed with a nod. “my apologies,” you mutter. you can’t tell him why you’re late, because hell would break loose within these walls. and also because you’re scared of what his reaction would be.
before being called over, you were in the kitchen, peacefully trying to get a snack, when two other concubines entered the room. you tried ignoring them, but that didn’t seem to be the smartest move. it wasn’t long before they threw derogatory remarks at you.
of course, you stood up for yourself and yelled some back. that’s when one of them pushed you backwards, causing the skin near your hand to get slightly burned by the fire on the stove.
if it weren’t for the maids around that went to report the ruckus to uraume, god knows what more would have went down in that kitchen.
“oi,” sukuna grabs your jaw and lifts your head up. he can immediately notice the vacant look in your eyes, which is unusual for you. you snap out of your trance and set the nasty memories aside—ignoring the impulse to scratch the injury on your wrist.
“i’m sorry, my lord,” you say again before slowly undoing your obi. you figure that is why sukuna had called you over, to do your job as his concubine. you halt your movements when you realise that undressing meant that he’s going to see the wound on your skin.
you hesitate. that same instant of hesitation doesn’t go unnoticed by the king of curses. a large hand of his moves to stop both of your wrists from pulling off your robes.
“. . .i’m giving y’ three seconds of my time,” sukuna narrows his eyes after allowing you to speak up and tell him what’s on your mind. he hears you whimper in pain when he holds onto your wrist, your facial expression clearly uncomfortable. “spit it out,” he impatiently huffs. he wants to hear you say what’s wrong.
you desperately shake your head, biting your bottom lip. you don’t want to tell him—even though you know you’re obligated to.
denying an answer to sukuna was your next big mistake.
“fuckin’ brat,” the pink-haired man grunts. he yanks your arms up to his face, harshly pulling down the sleeves of your kimono. all four of his red eyes immediately fall onto the wound on your wrist. you obviously hadn’t treat it yet, even though you should have done so long ago.
there’s tension hanging in the air almost instantly after your little secret gets revealed. sukuna’s grip on your hands tightens which causes you to flinch. you close your eyes and expect the worst. you can already hear the insults he’ll throw at you—how he’ll call you useless, weak, stupid and all that.
“look up at me,” his voice rings out in a firm tone. you don’t want to anger him more than he already is, so you obey. you open your eyes and glance upwards, your worried gaze meeting his.
sukuna takes a deep breath to contain the bubbling rage inside of him; a rare sight indeed. he doesn’t want to unnecessarily lash out at you when it isn’t needed. however, he can’t deny that itching urge in his chest, to get mad at whoever caused your skin to get tainted like that.
sukuna stares at you with an intimidating glare. when you expect him to yell profanities at you, the unexpected happens.
“who did this to you?” he asks, voice strained like he’s trying to hold himself back.
you blink a few times. the king of curses sounds pissed off, and when he’s in that kind of mood, you know he’s not to be played with. you look the other way and try to think of a proper answer.
will you snitch and cause unnecessary bloodbath, or will you spare the lives of the concubines who hurt you and lie?
you’re scared of being seen as useless by sukuna if you tell him the truth. if you lie, he’ll probably call you weak and stupid as well. it’s a lose-lose situation, you conclude.
you swallow the spit that has gathered in your mouth before parting your lips.
“m-miko,” her name echoes in his ears. you decide to be honest, because you know that there’s no fooling the ryomen sukuna. a second of silence follows and when you look up at him, he stares back at you with furrowed brows.
“ah,” you then realise that he doesn’t know his concubines by name. he has way too many women at his disposal and doesn’t find them worthy enough to remember.
however you have heard from uraume and the others that he does know your name—only yours. it makes you feel special.
you try to describe the concubine you’ve tussled with, “s-short blonde hair, uhm, mole under her right eye.. brown colored eyes—“
sukuna thinks for a moment before clicking his tongue once he faintly remembers who that’s supposed to be. without a word, he stands up and wraps one muscular arm around your waist, sweeping you off your feet and carrying you under his armpit like some package.
“uraume!”
his voice is loud enough to make the walls shake and it carries a clear hint of pure rage. everyone in the estate should have heard him by now, which means that they know what is going down in a couple seconds.
sukuna sounding this angry only means one thing; someone is going to die today.
the servants hurriedly scurry around, deeply bowing as he walks past them in the hallway with you still tucked underneath his arms. you let yourself be carried while your heart beats uncontrollably fast in your chest.
you feel your hands shake a bit. seeing someone like sukuna be this mad for your sake—to the point that he’s ready to turn the entire area upside down—is somehow thrilling. though, you can’t help but feel sick because of your own thoughts.
someone is going to die and there you are, cheesing about the king of curses.
you see the white-haired chef appear from a corner, their steps hurried. they glance at you and then back at their master. it’s like they immediately connect the dots.
“treat her in my quarters. don’t let her leave until i come back,” sukuna commands without even looking at uraume. he’s staring ahead, with an ominous aura emitting from his body, one that somebody can sense from miles away.
he puts you down next to uraume before glancing your way one last time. he lets out a deep sigh as he sees the worried expression you’re making. he lowers his head to your level so you’d be face to face.
“and you,” his warm breath hits your cheeks and sends a shiver down your spine. you gulp as sukuna’s hand reaches up to firmly tug at your earlobe, “i’ll deal with your ass later, yeah? i’ll make you feel what it means to hide stuff from me, little one.”
that sentence makes you even more nervous. you know you won’t be able to avoid the punishment sukuna has in mind, so you simply nod. “understood,” you reply in a squeaky voice. you don’t have the guts to disobey him—he’s already out to kill someone and you don’t want to be the next victim.
sukuna straightens his back again and continues his journey towards the concubines’ quarters. every heavy step makes the floors and walls shake, a sign of his unstoppable rage that’s about to be unleashed.
you feel slightly puzzled. you didn’t expect this outcome when you revealed your injury to the ruthless man. you expected to be belittled and mocked for not being able to prevent a wound from being inflicted on your body.
instead, there he goes, off to get revenge in your stead. you feel a twisted sense of satisfaction after seeing sukuna be this protective over you. actions like these demonstrate more than his dull words can do, even if it may seem like he doesn’t care about what could happen to a human like you.
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insanechayne · 1 year ago
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~ ~ ~
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