#which is something totally normal that most people do to deal with stress

[icewindandboringhorror]

feeling sick constantly in the background all the time is like.. usually negligible-ish.. until multiple various chronic background issues all happen to overlap at once and then it’s like 

[animeyanderelover]

For my Second request, of 10 random yandere of your choosing, being involved with a gang member female s/o who hides the fact she’s part of another gang from her yandere. She hides the fact she’s part of a gang due to several reasons: she feels a sense of connection and community with her gang, she feels obligated to be loyal to them as her gang had saved her and accepted her, she doesn’t want to be judged by her yandere that she is a part of a gang, and she knows with how stubborn/passionate their yandere is they will try to get involved and she wants to avoid that. With this reasons in mind, she tries to hide it, however, she sucks at lying, so whenever she gets injured, she basically tells them the truth but skips over the fact that since she’s part of a gang, she got it from fighting. But she’s says everything so cheerfully and obliviously, as if it’s no big deal. Such as “oh, this bruise on my arm? Some guy on a motorcycle tried to hit me on the head with a steel pipe, but I caught it (totally not the fact a rival gang member tried to jump Me)” or “oh my broken leg? That’s due to some guy trying to shank me at the side of the street, but don’t worry I kicked them to Valhalla!! (totally not from a group fight where a rival gang member played dirty)” It eventually reaches a point where she becomes hospitalized, but she cheerfully insists that she fell down the stairs, but the yandere by then already knows something is up.

I'm so sorry but this request is low-key Tokyo Revengers coded so this entire post is just characters from Tokyo Revengers. I only wrote about 7 characters since I've been under stress with my most recent exams so I hope that isn't too bad.

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive relationship, obsession, clinginess, manipulation, bribery, violence, injuries, isolation, female s/o

Gang member s/o who sucks at lying

Hanagaki Takemichi

👊​You'd think being part of Toman and having been part of countless battles would have hardened him against violence, especially because he himself has tanked quite a lot of heavy punches and kicks in fights. Any trace of normality has been thrown out of the window ever since he discovered his ability to travel back in time and he has most certainly been misguided by believing that you could provide him with a lingering sense of regularity. Seriously, with the way his life has been shaping what was he even thinking? Normally someone who is on the easier spectrum of being portentially manipulated by his darling since he is a simp, Takemichi recognises occuring injuries you suffer from all too well. His heart always drops when you appear with a new broken limb or injury, though by now he at least doesn't collapse out of shock like he did the first time he saw your horrendous condition. He's seen those wounds before and he has been in a similar position as you before. You can't fool him this time, as lovesick as he may be.

👊​His initial reaction would be to beg you to stop with the way you are living but he is surprisingly self-reflective enough to realise after his initial panic that it would be quite hypocritical of him to ask you to leave your gang whilst he himself has risked his life multiple times for Toman before. To top it all, he knows just how stubborn and scary you can be if you are told to do something against your will, even he is frightened of you when you get mad though it's somewhat sexy too. He turns to people like Chifuyu and Draken to ask them about other gangs they know about besides Toman to figure out in which gang you are even in and as a Division Leader and essentially another head of Toman overall, he does what he can to ensure that you will never get into a fight with Toman and him. Whilst he hasn't seen you fight just yet, judging from how well you deal with injuries he can tell that you are quite robust but he'd rather get beaten up bloody before he has to see you getting hurt in front of him.

👊​He eventually breaks down when he receives news that you had to get hospitalised due to a recent brawl that escalated. He goes down on his knees, begging you to stop with this as he is mentally beating himself up for not having done more to prevent this from happening. Takemichi has a habit of thinking that he has to shield everything by himself as the time traveler and for that beats himself all the more up when something terrible happens as he sees it as his sole fault for not having done more. He starts gearing up to finally take direct action. His route is initially surprisingly diplomatic as he offers your gang to work together as he wants to protect you in future fights either himself or by knowing that there are capable guys he trust involved in the fight yet a rejection won't be accepted in his vocabulary. Always one prone to attempting to do everything on his own, he's probably going to ask for a fight with your leader, even if they are a better fighter than him. No matter how heavy their punches are though, he always gets back up, desperate for them to accept his conditions and not caring what happens to him in the process.

Sano Manjiro

🦶​There is no way to deteriorate Mikey's obsession into something leaning into his dark impulses faster than a darling as reckless as you. It is in a way almost laughable how oblivious you can be to the obvious signs of it all as you give him that carefree grin, reminiscent of the one he always has when he is in a relaxed and playful mood. Only that he does not reciprocate your grin, dark eyes widening as he looks at the cast plastered over your broken leg before dulling when you chirp cheerfully that a few guys ganged up on you. Your half-baked reassurance that you broke the nose of one of the guy and are responsible for a broken jaw of another one does not heal the growing hole in his heart. Instead he steps closer to you, hands grasping your shoulders in a tight hold as he asks you in a flat tone to tell him who did this to you, his grip tightening the longer he stares at the cast. You only get a few seconds to assure him that you dealt with them yourself before he cuts you off quickly. Answer his question. Who. Did. This. To. You.

🦶​Even Draken is astonished with the sheer outrageous lies you conjure up whenever a new bruise or cast appears on your body yet you insist cheerfully every time that it was a stupid coincidende or accident. It really isn't hard to deduce that you are also involved with a gang and brawl regularly with them and that knowledge only has Mikey seething with rage even more. His mind is filled with dark thoughts of murdering every piece of shit who kicked and punched you to the point where some members have caught him mumbling about his horrific fantasies, deeply stuck in his thoughts that he didn't even notice them standing there and looking at him mildly terrified. Another emotion that crawls up his spine after the revelation though is one that is a much sharper and stinging pain. Betrayal. Betrayal that you chose to keep your gang life a secret from him and betrayal that you chose them over him. He would have gladly let you join Toman if you would have asked him. Sure, he wouldn't have let you fight but he would have taken you with him anywhere. Why do you stay loyal to your gang still? He's your boyfriend...

🦶​Paranoia gets the best of him as he fears that you would choose them over him. It is a thought that dominates his heart and mind with fear and growing dark urges. Mikey normally is a person who doesn't want to show any weakness around others yet it is a different story with you. He demands of you to leave your gang and just join his instead so that you two can always be with each other and so that he can guarantee that no bastard harms you ever again yet it is when you firmly refuse that he snaps. Your rejection and affirmation of your loyalty to your gang essentially confirms his paranoia that you value them more than him and would drop him for them. With nothing able to hold him back, he drowns in his obsession and goes after your own gang with Toman, irrational to the point where no one can stop him. The final nail in the coffin is your hospitalisation that convinces him that your gang isn't even capable of protecting you. Toman assaults your gang whilst you lay in the hospital and Mikey takes on your leader, merciless and brutal even after they are down before he tells them with blank eyes that from now on you belong to his gang and that they'd do better to stay away from you.

Ryuguji Ken

🐉​Draken should technically be used to this all and he can't deny that this all is very reminiscent with experiences he was with another person in his life. Exhausting antics, a tendency to get into brutal fights and brush off all injuries despite their seriousness and a carefree grin always given to calm his nerves. It's like taking care of Mikey all over again yet the protective nature he has quickly tranform into an overprotective obsession with you as his darling. He's had his suspicions from a very early point on as he is well informed about gangs and the violent life they lead as the vice-president of Toman. Swollen eyes, broken limbs and other injuries you constantly have the next time he sees you quickly leads him to the conclusion that you must be involved with a gang yourself. Honestly, it really isn't hard to figure it out and he doesn't even know why you are so surprised when he presents you with his theory. Really, have you ever listened to yourself lying before? You're the worst person at lying he has ever met so far.

🐉​Whilst Draken won't demand of you to abandon your gang like Mikey does, he is not fully convinced to let you continue as you are doing either. He starts prying for more information and even if you do not want to tell him about certain aspects, it is rather easy for him to read you due to your inability to be convincing when you lie. It's by constantly questioning you without putting you under pressure by upholding a interested and caring facade that he is soon able to have a rather accurate picture about your gang and its members. That's when he starts using other ways to gather more intel about the individual members of your gang, mainly by letting members from Toman spy on them. All of that of course in secrecy as he wouldn't want to displease you as he's aware that you do not want to get him involved in your life. Draken on the other hand wants to figure out now how capable and loyal the people of your gang really are as you obviously view them in a subjective light and could never seriously criticise them.

🐉​His mind is made up when you land in the hospital with severe injuries from your last fight. His expression is unreadable as he visits you, dark eyes watching you as you muster a grin and tell him that everything is fine and you just fell down the stairs in an attempt to hide from him that you got into a rather intense fight this time before he interrupts you. He thinks it would be better for you to leave your gang. In a short fit of outrage, you nearly get out of bed but he quickly forces you back down and hisses at you to lay still or else your injuries will open up again. His gaze is firm though as he informs you that he doesn't think the members of your gang are good enough to survive gang life out there nor do they possess other qualities needed in his opinion. You're terribly stubborn and he knows that but he can't bear to watch you like this anymore. He will have to find a way to have you leave the gang or to come up with an idea how to break them off. Perhaps he should pay your leader a visit himself and show them just how silly their fantasies are. A good dose of genuine fear may finally help them realise just how dangerous the life of a gang not suited enough is in the streets out there...

Baji Keisuke

🖤​People like Chifuyu can only watch with eyes as wide as saucers as it is almost like watching two Bajis at once when you are around. The similarities between him and you are mindblowing and Baji himself isn't sure whether he should find this amusing or if he should be slightly concerned. Your grin is like a trademark, one that you always flash him even if there are stitches over your eyebrow or if multiple fingers of yours are bandaged. Baji on the other hand always turns up his sleeves whenever he sees your injuries, a feral grin of his own on his face that does little to hide his sparking anger as he asks you which bitch he has to pummel into the ground. The First Division Captain is strikingly possessive and protective and his concern mainly shown in his willingness to beat anyone up who he suspects to be responsible for your emotional or physical strain. He has never gotten a truthful answer from you though as you always come up with bullshit on the spot in hopes of calming him down.

🖤​Whilst Baji may lack in academical knowledge though, he is someone who has a sharp intellect and can understand things well outside of school. He suspects that there is something up that you don't want him to know about and it irritates him that you keep it from him. The irritation is quite visible on his face but he doesn't force you immediately to spit it out what you are keeping from him. As a countermeasure to the wounds you have received though, you find Baji taking the role of the guard dog for you whenever you go anywhere. He's far too stubborn to listen to you when you reassure him that you can spend time on your own without the need for him to protect you. The injuries pile up on you though and he feels more and more like wanting to murder someone as he starts pressuring you to tell him the truth only for you to remain silent. Chifuyu eventually brings up his idea that you may also be involved in a gang and fight with them as your injuries and your horrible lies would line up nicely with that theory.

🖤​Somehwere in his mind he can acknowledge your loyalty to your gang as he is nothing short of dedicated to Toman as well yet there is a double standard that becomes soon apparent. He'd rather have you take a step back from gang life as he deems you as too weak to continue. Far too often do you end up with wounds and injuries that he takes as proof that you are not good enough in fights and that belief is especially strengthened when you end up needing to stay for a longer time in the hospital due to your most recent injuries. Both of you get in an argument as neither of you backs off from their belief and it ultimately leaves Baji with no choice but solve things the way he knows best. With a good brawl. He seeks out your gang himself and challenges them to a fight. If he wins, he demands of them to disband and to not get involved in fights anymore. He's fully prepared to become the villain in your eyes, though that doesn't mean that he'll let you leave him. If you really wanna beat up people that bad though, he wouldn't mind jumping random guys in the streets with you. You look rather hot after all whilst beating someone up...

Mitsuya Takashi

🪡If there is one person in Toman who would see right through your lies even if you wouldn't be such a terrible liar, next to Draken obviously, it's Mitsuya. As level-headed and calm as he is, he serves as the counterpart to your reckless and occasionally feral behavior by attempting to calm you down and talking some sense into your brain. He can tell by simply observing you and taking notice of your injuries that you are part of a gang. Whilst Takashi is also a very essential part of Toman, he surprisingly enough isn't too keen on fighting unless it is absolutely needed which is why your willingness to constantly join the fights of your gang is something he is secretly displeased about. He may not outright scold you nor even let you know that he is already on about your secret that you try to cover with horrendeous lies yet he is already trying to make plans himself. As someone who is a subtle manipulator, Mitsuya gently coaxes you into revealing bits of information about your gang and the individual members every time you two meet.

🪡​Partially he is self-aware about the fact that you essentially do what lots of members in Toman would also do. Inherently he isn't completely against the loyalty and devotion you exhibit for your gang yet all the wounds and injuries you constantly suffer as a result hamper his patience and willingness to let you go on that way. You disregard your own health and body and merely brush it off as little scratches even if he reminds you sternly that one day you may not get away with only a broken leg or twenty stitches. Really, he doesn't want to be overbearing but how can he not end up being very overprotective when you yourself are so incapable of looking after yourself? It gets more noticable as time passes by and he essentially turns into the overly worried mother for you who constantly has to remind you to rest in bed or take it easy to not strain your already injured body. He offers all the help he can give though even if you reject it, he'll end up giving it to you anyways.

🪡​You do not know that yet but Mitsuya has actually already gotten in contact with some members of your gang out of concern for you yet it is when you end up in dire need of an operation that he finds himself confronting them with a much more serious disposition. This has gone too far. You could have died this time around. He demands of them to do some serious reflection on their ways and reminds them that they would stand no real chance if a bigger group would ever decide to take them on. A serious and level-headed composure can be rather frightening under the right circumstances and this is what happens in that moment as he also reveals nonchalantly that he has gotten his hand on some unsavory information that could end up fatal if given to the wrong people. He refrains from violence and instead goes with blackmailing for now, though perhaps his status as a Division Captain is already protection and intimidation enough. Perhaps it would be seen as dirty in the eyes of your gang and even yourself but Mitsuya would be open enough to admit that he has actually held back merely because you see those people as your friends and from what he has observed, they value you as well.

Matsuno Chifuyu

🟡​Chifuyu is the definition of loyal and sticks with you through thick and thin even if your antics threaten to drive him up the wall at times. Your whole demeanor reminds him very vividly of his own Division Captain and even Baji himself likes to make jokes about it when you spend time with Chifuyu. Truthfully spoken, it really isn't difficult to sense that there is something you are hiding with all the injuries that litter your body on some days. You deny it every single time as you come up with an explanation for every broken limb or every scar and stitch that you sport yet seem very unaware of the fact that your lies only fuel his suspicion further. Chifuyu is honestly not sure whether he should be baffled or pull at his hair in frustration whenever you present him with another excuse for an injury. Do you even know that you suck at lying or do you genuinely believe people to accept the lies that you offer? He's worried for you though even if you lie to him again and again and refuse to tell him the truth and those protective instincts push him to grow clingier, worried that with your careless behavior you might end up reopening some stitches.

🟡​He tolerates your bullshit for quite a while though even if he feels like a kicked puppy every time he attempts to ask you if you could tell him the truth only for you to dismiss it with yet another of your stupid lies. Chifuyu is honestly too good to you at times and he is actually self-aware of that but can't help himself. The longer this drags on though and the more serious your injuries get, the more he finds himself pushed closer to the edge. He knows, alright! He knows already that you must be involved in the gang life yourself but it is killing him that you don't let him in on it. He could help you. He could protect you! He's your boyfriend, for fuck's sake. Why are you locking him out? The habit of stalking you is solely born because you refuse to let him in on everything and it is via stalking that he also figures out who the other people belonging to your gang are. He hates to admit it but he feels a sense of anxiety as he realises just how loyal you are to them and wonders if he is just second place as he has entered your life after you had already met your gang.

🟡​He's witness to another violent fight between your gang and another one and when he realises that you are down and seriously injured, he rushes in and takes the beating for you from a member of the enemy gang. Even bruised and battered though, he puts your health before his own as he drives you to the hospital where he waits for hours on end before he can finally visit you. Even then you still dare to lie to him and that's when he breaks. He lashes emotionally out as tears run down his face. Are you serious?! You're still trying to lie to him?? Do you really think of him as that untrustworthy?? It's rare for him to let his emotions overwhelm him easily but it happens in that moment, the most prominent ones are betrayal and a doubtful fear that he really means less to you than your own gang. It's after his outburst that he is finally done with keeping up with your behavior as he reasons that he has in fact been too tolerant about everything. No wonder that you seem to take him for an idiot. He hasn't been assertive enough. That'll change from today on though...

Kokonoi Hajime

💴​Normally Kokonoi would love to mess around with his darling a bit since he can be a tad bit more malicious and sadistic at times yet it's those repetitive injuries that trigger a vulnerable and raw side out of him. Every time he spots you with new broken bones or he notices a freshly stitched wound of yours, his mind automatically flashes back to Akane in the hospital. There is probably no quicker way than to break him down faster than constantly appearing with new casts or stitches in front of him. There has never been a time where he hasn't demanded from you with narrowed eyes to tell him who did this to you so that he can arrange some things here and there to see it through that they never bother you again yet it is your unwillingness to tell him and always present him with a dumb lie of yours that always serves as fuel to the stirring inferno. Whether you see him as an idiot or merely try to hide something from him and just suck at lying, his anger only festers every time another lie leaves your lips.

💴​It really doesn't take long for Kokonoi to already know everything he needs to know and he is beyond unhappy. As someone whose obsession is one build one possessiveness and the desire to control his darling, everything you personify goes against his own wants. You are far too independent, recklessly throw yourself into brawls to defend the honor of your gang as your loyalty lies with them when it should belong to him and risk your own body and health as a result which seems to be a constant fear that has a vice-grip on his heart. He despises your antics and the grin you give him every time you end up with a new reminder of your most recent fight and act as if nothing happened at all. Do you seriously think you'll be fine or do you simply not care? Part of his ire is also turned against your gang though as he loathes them for many reasons. Not only does he see them as a threat to your safety but also as rivals he has to get rid of. He has to cut their ties with you and make you believe that they abandoned you so that he can swap roles with them and become the person you depend on.

💴​Money has always been something he could use to corrupt and buy people and he uses it in this situation as well. He hires thieves to work as spies for him and collect more information on the life your gang leads as well as digging up some dirt on individual gang members. Even if he finds none, he can always make up some stuff. As Kokonoi wants to break your trust in your own gang, he even attempts bribing them with money and manipulating them to abandon you. It's when he is informed that you were sent to the hospital and had to go through surgery that he finally loses composure when he visits you only to be greeted with that same cursed smile that you have been giving him since forever. Do you have a death wish or what?! He flips out for a few moments, hisses out words dripping with venom as he openly admits how he feels about your gang and directs some of his words against you as well. He won't let you risk your life for those people! He can't understand for the life of him what worth they could possibly have. You just wait, he will see it through that you will never see them again.

[amuseoffyre]

@triflesandparsnips made a rather spiffy observation on my post about Ed and face-touching:

It may be worthwhile, considering how much face/mouth violence Ed is sensitive to -- and when we see or hear about it -- to do a review of how much of that face sensitivity is also associated with food and eating.

And hooboy, I ended up down a rabbithole thinking about Ed and food and it got so long, it earned itself its own little post.

These are all the food/eating related moments that tie in directly to Ed having strong emotional responses. I didn't limit it to just the face-touching because there's a lot of emotional mess going on as well.

When Stede wakes him for brekkie in 1x04, he recoils immediately as he wakes, until he realises who's beside him (especially pertinent since Ed wakes in 2x03 and asks if anything was done to him while he was unconscious - he even anticipates harm while sleeping).

in 1x05, when he's being taught the intricacies of dining and the French captain slaps on his big red trauma button while he's sitting at a dining table and already feeling out of his depth with all the tablewear.

Cut to the flashback in 1x05 which has him and his mum talking quietly in one part of the room, but his father is there, slumped and drunk on the family dining table, setting the domestic sphere as a place of constant present threat.

Later in 1x05, when he's alone at the party, he's freaking out over not knowing how to deal with this kind of fancy-folk dining and then someone touches his face - double-whammy of the emotional stuff and the physical.

1x06 gives us the main flashback to his childhood and his father's violent reaction to 'slop' and 1x07 has stressed, out-of-his-comfort-zone hangry Ed, trying desperately to keep up the Blackbeard appearance ("Blackbeard can't be seen treasure hunting!") and again, something touches his body/head unexpectedly and he lashes out defensively.

There is so much going on in the brekkie scene that I can't even get into it here. Ed trying to code-switch between the way he interacts with Stede and Jack respectively, but most significantly, when Jack talks over him and ignores him trying to change the subject about violence he's done in the past, Ed shrinks down in the chair, doing the small-and-quiet thing he does when he's unhappy (one day I will yell about Ed taking refuge surrounding himself with gold/yellow things - blankets, chairs, robes, pillowforts. His version of the battle jacket).

1x10 has several moments. First is the marmalade - there's something child-like about the blanket fort and eating sweet sticky things with his fingers, taking comfort in food and hiding.

The second is something that is viscerally explained in S2 - when he forcefeeds Izzy his own toe. The contrast of the brutality and the very paternal "now don't forget to chew" like an adult talking to a child gave me chills the first time I watched it.

The last thing in 1x10 isn't necessarily food, but hooooboy there is something in the way he sets himself up at what was Stede's brekkie table, putting on the worst of personas possible, that is very much reminding me of his dad at the table in a bare, empty home, lit by a single candle, in that first flashback.

And now, into S2, and our man starts things in a totally healthy and normal way - eating the cake with his weapon. And, more importantly, "did everybody get cake?" Again, we have the juxtaposition of implicitly care-taking language against the surrounding violence and brutality.

The gravy basket tells us so much as well - he wakes up to the horror of being vulnerable, trapped by his own body and force-fed by someone who we learn had a habit of forcefeeding live crabs to people and who had threatened to flay Ed's skin off and feed it to him. He's rightfully afraid that anything Hornigold feeds him might be poisoned.

Once again, we have the parental energy of "open up for the cargo ship" tangled up with the fear of threat and violence and horror - poisoning, flaying and force-feeding.

Ed's fear has the two utterly bound up together, inescapably so. His father shaped his childhood and Hornigold stepped into that role when Ed became an outlaw.

But even in this messy and horrifying confrontation with his own psyche and layered up with the horrors he's lived through as a boy, some part of Ed still desperately wants the comfort and security of food and home, especially when the food his subconscious is gathering for him are the ingredients for Māori boil-up, something his mother would very likely have made for them.

It speaks measures that the three things he wants to live for include good food and warmth and orgasms. No fame. No glory. No reputation. Just to be loved and safe and warm and fed.

Jump forward to 2x04 and dinner with Bonny and Read. Ed is unsurprised by the degree of violence happening throughout, but does hesitate when poison comes into the equation - "I got the present you left for me in my glass" - Ed immediately sets down his glass, staring at it warily. Again, calling back to the Gravy Basket and his fear that anything given to him might be poisoned.

He's already on edge and off-balance - "not sure what's real and what's the basket" and there may or may not be poison and knives and the person he trusted may or may not betray him again and he's already spinning out when Anne - who had already declared her intention to provoke Ed and Mary - cheerfully lands the bombshell of why Stede left him.

No small wonder he storms out of the room, but it does lead to them having a much-needed conversation and he and Stede are on a much steadier footing after.

And then, of course, we have the breakfast of 2x07. This one is especially significant because Ed makes the brekkie then disposes of his leathers. He's actively trying to step from one mode of life to another, from the Blackbeard-and-Piracy into the domestic, softer life he's been quietly craving his entire life.

Only, as he says himself, "I don't think I've ever made regular breakfast for anyone before". He's trying, but it's something new and unfamiliar to him and it's "my way of saying thank you".

And lastly, we have the scene with the fisherman and his son where Ed has shoe-horned himself into what he thinks is the solution to all his problems and also includes a father-son dynamic, because our man can't do anything without his daddy issues rearing their ugly head.

Once again, Ed is out of his depth, but at the opposite end of the scale from the party ship. This is a place he thinks he should fit but he doesn't. This is the domesticity he craved, but without understanding or appreciating the real work that is needed to get there.

And once again, over a meal, he has an angry father expressing violence. "Control your pop-pop!" he tells the boy who is around the same age as he was when he killed his father. But he doesn't fight back, he doesn't strike out at Pop-pop, and the son steps between them and pulls his dad back several times.

And it's this father-figure's words that ring in Ed's ears when he realises Stede may be in danger. "If you were ever good at anything, do that". And if there's one thing Ed Teach is good at, it's fighting for the people he loves.

In conclusion our Mr. Teach wants a safe and comfortable home-life, with food and warmth (and orgasms), but he has no real experience of what that is really like or how to get it. His entire life has been a succession of threats and danger and men who would do harm to people in their charge, especially when they were unarmed, defenceless and vulnerable.

He doesn't know how to be safe yet, because he's never experienced it. All he's known until this point is a life of violence and danger and while he tried to move away from that, the violence and danger was still there - as Stede put it, there's no escaping it in their line of work.

But now, at the end of S2, for the first time in his life, he is actually able to say "No, I need to be away from piracy" because his whole journey through both seasons has been him trying and trying to step away from the life that has him by the throat.

And now, he's finally been able to do it and he's not alone. He has someone he's safe with and who is willing to do the work with him to help him figure things out. And give him good food, warmth and, of course, orgasms.

[dragon-queen21]

Hey I don't know if requests are okay or not but I have a request,baby Aether and dada Diluc hcs, again I don't know if requests are open for not if not then so sorry

Regressor Aether + cg Diluc Headcanons

Request are most certainly open! (as long as the inbox buttons says “requests” feel free to send me some :D same goes for any thoughts or ideas that you have. I tend to answer those a bit quicker just as an fyi)

Onto to talking about my favorite characters!!!

~~~

~Aether who’s a first like “I don’t regress that small” and normally he doesn’t when he’s with his sister.

~Only he didn’t take in account how stressed he’s been since coming to tevyat and how nice it is to finally be looked after by someone.

~First time Diluc takes care of him: Instantly baby space

~Aether has so many stuffed animals all in an attempt to keep the regressor from carrying Paimon around like one

~If he’s not being carried Aether will simply follow around Diluc like a baby duckling. Something that was definitely pointed out to the two of them when they went out to the city

~Diluc absolutely puts his foot down to Aether taking on commissions when he’s regressed.

~I like to think that in Mondstadt it isn’t uncommon to have people regress in public and when out a couple of times people have come up asking a favor of Aether who is clearly regressed and Diluc just loses it a little. Because really, can’t people solves their own petty issues?

~Diluc trying to teach the little one boundaries and learning how to say no. Simple things like choosing what to have to eat or what activities he wants to do. Because Aether really will go along with anything, and while adorable as it is his caregiver is aware of just how much Aether says yes to on more serious matters that wear aware at his health.

~Aether comes back from Liuye with a makeup pallet the consequences of which lead to Diluc going to work with red eyeshadow and sparkly eyeliner because he promised the little one he wouldn’t take it off for the rest of the day (He totally drags Kaeya into being Aether’s next ‘victim’ when his brother kept teasing him)

~ Aether working himself up into a near panic attack once because he wants to ask Diluc to be his caregiver because sure he hangs around Diluc small but it’s not like the man is his ‘official’ caregiver or anything. He is so scared of rejection. Which he would understand why Diluc would say no, because obviously he's hardly ever in Mondstadt, and the few times he is doesn't mean that Diluc would want to deal with a mentally two year old, let alone see him at all, and he realizes he is a lot to handle and his regression isn't always pretty and...(insert Aether spiraling for the next however long)

~Diluc meanwhile who just, already assumed he was Aether's caregiver. Just kind of took upon the role without asking. Like, he watches over the boy whenever he's around, has a box filled with toys and custom made pacifiers. Does... does that not count or...?

[pixlpxie]

Heeeyyy. I have a question. (SA trigger warning)

Do you think the desire for cnc stems from previous sexual trauma? I've seen an anon here say that she wanted to be full on tortured and held down by, was it Yunho or Hwa, I don't remember. I didn't even sense the consent in her ask. And I was like, I'd be down, and then I was like huhhh???? I would?????

I was almost sexually assaulted by an agemate when I was 14. Back then, I felt horrible. Like, I really went through it. Asking myself why I was even there in the first place yk? Blaming myself, and so on. I was also sooo against any form of non-consent, even if it was consensual. But now that I look back, I'm like, ugh I was over reacting and if I went back in time to that moment I would just tell my young self to shut up like it wasn't even that bad. (My morals do prevail and I know that any kind of SA is not acceptable. If it were anyone else, I would NEVER say this.)

But now I am so very willing to participate in cnc, 100%. Even take part in various kinks. I think I just grew up and became more self aware and honest with myself, but I would like to know if you think my previous experience contributed to this.

Also, you don't have to answer this if it makes you uncomfortable. I love love love your page, like it constantly reminds me that I'm not odd for liking the things I do😭🫶🫶. Thank you so much. You're a blessing to many of us, and some hATERS (cue annoying people) cannot even seem to understand that. Talking about lists and all that. Ew

Such topics do not make me uncomfortable, don't worry🤭its literally my job atp (im a psychologist now so I mean it)

First of all before I get into it, I want you to know that you were never the blame. Its not your fault that you had to go through something like that. I'm so sorry for what happened and I hope you are better now. And you feeling bad about non consensual plays for some time is totally normal, don't think that you had to enjoy this kink right away.

Honestly I had to research quite a lot on this topic before because even though I knew it was a perfectly normal kink, the reality of r*pe makes you doubt yourself. So I wanted to find out if there was something wrong with me or not because no one around me irl likes cnc. They think its extremely weird. It turns out nothing's wrong.

There are many reasons why a person can be into cnc, involving extreme versions of it. You can already guess some of them, which is that it's a really strong roleplay for power dynamics. Whether you are the agressor or the victim, you give in to the most extreme level of domination or submission. It's also primal. It can easily bring out your animalistic sides. Many people enjoy this. So for example if you like being the victim it can simply mean that you like not having control. Its a good way to relieve stress and release adrenalin too.

The other reason is that CNC can actually work as a coping mechanism. In fact, kinks and role plays are important for human psychology. They can help you resolve or at least deal with unresolved issues in two main ways. The first is that you might have experienced something related to the said kink/rp. In this example, you might have actually experienced SA. It's not easy to accept a reality like this and it can easily damage a person's identity and self-perception. It can take so long to get better. So you need to find a way to cope with this and resolve it. So over time you can start enjoying CNC as it would give you a sense of control that you couldn't have during the bad experience. You can control, change and alter the way the role play can go. This can help you to accept what's happened in a less damaging way, assuring that you are in control. It can also help you relive the experience over again, although this can sound bad, you can become insensitized to the situation.

The second way is that these unresolved issues don't have to be anything related to the roleplay. Meaning you don't have to experience SA to enjoy CNC. Such symbolic roleplays can help you deal with repressed emotions and help your subconscious to process the material there. As such roleplays also have clear cut archetypal figures, they can help you deal with deep-seated symbols, personas or narratives. Do you know why they say people with daddy kinks don't have a healthy relationship with their dad? Its not true all the time obviously (bc its so common now) but it's a good way to show you what I mean.

So no, not all people who enjoy CNC experience SA or similar events. But if you had, it can help you cope too. But kinks and fetishes are way too deeply rooted in your subconscious and they are madly complicated. Most of the time you will end up feeling so lost when you try to find out why you have a certain kink/fetish. So you're not really supposed to know why you like the things you like. You should let your psyche and subconscious deal with them. As long as theres constent and they dont hurt other people, you can enjoy anything. Its ok. Don't let people make you feel bad for enjoying CNC. Trust me, people who like this kink are actually really nice and care so much about their partner's well being. Meaning the agressor roleplayer don't actually want to r*pe anyone irl. That's what I've seen.

Overall, in your case, it might have contributed. And it's ok. Keep enjoying your roleplay and let it help you resolve your trauma.

And thank you so much I hope youll keep enjoying my blog and i was able to help 🥺🥹💖💖

[javaghoul]

2 3 and 8 for Kaneki Ken :))))

i am ASTOUNDED that you requested Kaneki, one would assume he is your favourite character 🤔

Kaneki & 2: Ideal Day

His perfect day would go something like this:

Wake up at a decent time. I don't think he's a lazy lie in guy, nor an early bird, but I think he appreciates waking up naturally without an alarm or being screamed at by someone.

I think a good start to his day would be peace and quiet. Ken is tolerant of other people and their noise for one reason: he makes sure he has nothing but his own company first thing in the morning. Just him, coffee, and a book.

I guess book shopping is cliche, right? I think books of some kind would play a role in a good day, but not necessarily hanging out at a book shop. If he isn't burnt out from people, spending time with friends doing what they want to do would be something he'd enjoy. He's a guy that can have fun sitting on the sidelines, so watching his friends having fun doing their thing is entertainment for him.

That said, he definitely doesn't want to be around others all day. Even before his ghoulification when he was near isolated from everyone, Kaneki would still need solo time. Space and privacy to mooch around his apartment in his boxers and t-shirt, going between reading and tv.

In general: an easy going, PEACEFUL day.

Kaneki & 3: How they cope with worry

he doesn't.

One of the things about Ken is he is so used to being in fight or flight mode, he doesn't even register he is worried about something. The initial stages of worry that 'normal' people go through is his baseline, so he handles worry differently to most.

It comes down to what the issue is. If it's something trivial, I think he can be an ostrich - buries his head in the sand and lets it happen until it happens to him so bad he can't avoid it. He's very good at distracting himself.

For more serious problems, I think he works himself into such a state that nothing gets done. And by nothing I mean nothing - he doesn't eat (when he was human), he flits from one thing to another without really achieving anything, and cannot switch off at all. This is one area where having Hide as a friend really complimented Ken's personality: despite appearing as a bit of an air head, Hide is good at bringing perspective, and either giving Ken a kick up the ass to motivate him to do something, or shout him down to calm him down.

I definitely think he uses breathing techniques which he would've had to YouTube (y'know, since he never had any decent caretakers to show him how to handle stress).

Kaneki & 8: toxic traits

He's secretive. VERY secretive. He isn't deceptive enough to completely mask that *something* is going on, but there's enough there to leave a friend or s/o suspecting something is ticking away in his skull. He'll seem distracted and not all there, distant from relationships... Then one day he'll just be totally fine again. You won't get any info or explanation from him either.

Also, he allows himself to get so burnt out it's like he ENJOYS it. This goes hand in hand with how he deals with worry. Ken isn't great at looking after himself at all, if that isn't obvious.

[cryptidsurveys]

Friday, September 27th, 2024.

What is something of which you need more in your life? It's been a rather stressful September, so I could really use more calmness, fun, and ease. Fortunately, at least when it comes to my everyday life and routines, October seems like it should be better. There are still the lingering issues with my mom, though. We are staying in touch after all - we're going to a movie next Wednesday - but after that whole "situation" (ergh, sorry for being so vague), it's going to be weird. I do think I will try to keep our contact to a minimum…

Do you tend to view your existence as more pleasant or unpleasant? Like I said above, it's been difficult lately; but overall, I would say it's more pleasant. My problem is that I have a tendency to over-focus on the negatives and it makes me lose sight of the things that are going right.

Is there anything you do which would be considered unhealthy? Sure. I smoke, I eat junk food, I worry too much, etc.

Would you say that you are an introspective being? Sometimes to my detriment. I would definitely benefit from getting out of my head and living more in the moment.

Which aspect of your daily routine takes the most time? What do you do? Probably eating.

Do you enjoy buying gifts for others, or could you do without this? I could do without it. I just never know what to get people.

What is one thing you are expected to do, if anything? Like a specific expectation someone has for me? I can't think of anything aside from the ordinary (such as housecleaning, being a decent person, and things like that).

How do you tend to view driving? Monotonous or entertaining? It's a little anxiety-provoking at times (it's just such a big responsibility with potentially awful repercussions if something goes wrong), but it's also kind of enjoyable.

When was the last time you ate a great deal of food in one sitting? The last time I went to Golden Corral with my parents. I went waaay overboard on the desserts.

When was the last time you went without eating for whatever reason? I'm not sure (as far as anything prolonged is concerned), but there are still occasional instances when I eat less or skip a meal/snack for eating disorder reasons. I'm doing a LOT better than before, though. I would say my intake as a whole is relatively "normal/adequate."

What colors are the most prevalent in your wardrobe? It's a bit of a mix now that I have so many colorful volunteer shirts/sweaters, but probably black, dark blue, and gray.

How has this changed from when you were younger, if it has? It's changed a lot since childhood, but as for my teenage years…I had a bit of a different style then, but the color scheme is still very similar.

What is something people tend to assume about you? I have no idea what other people assume about me. It's probably different for every individual, based on their upbringing, personal experiences, beliefs, etc.

Do you enjoy talking about music with others? Not really. I do listen to music, but I'm not really into the whole music "scene."

What are some of your favorite conversational topics? It highly depends on the person. For instance, I enjoy talking about politics, world events, religion, ethics (etc) with my dad, but I would be hesitant to enter such a conversation with others. However, when it comes to topics I generally find interesting, it's stuff like the paranormal, conspiracies, (dissecting) current social trends, history, outer space, true crime/unsolved mysteries…

When was the last time you pretended to be someone other than yourself? I routinely pretend to be someone other than myself. It's called BEING PROFESSIONAL. ;D

Is acting something you enjoy? It's not really something I've explored. Well, I guess that's not totally true. I did enjoy pretending to be fictional characters when I was younger, but I don't think I would want to be in a play or film or anything like that.

Are you convincing? Idk.

Are you capable of singing in front of others? Sometimes.

When was the last time you could not do something you wanted to do? I dearly wished to relax over the past couple of days, but I was a complete ball of anxiety. Things are better now, though. At least one stressful situation in my life was resolved this morning.

What are some of your favorite summer-related activities? I hate summer. Even activities like hiking and picnicking are better in spring or autumn.

Are you generally happier in the summer or the winter? WINTER. I mean, that's assuming my life isn't a shit show, but if we're talking purely about the weather, then...yeah.

Do you watch any anime? If so, what genre(s) do you appreciate? Not anymore.

Are there any childish things you do? Such as? Sometimes I can be a bit petty, emotionally driven, lazy…and I still rely on my dad too much for things I should be able to do myself.

In what ways are you particularly ~mature~? I typically do what needs to be done or face what needs to be faced, regardless of whether I want to or not. I'm also fairly good at self-reflection; I can usually take ownership of my part in a problem, see things from someone else's perspective, engage with nuance, and that sort of thing.

What is something you do to calm yourself down when you are nervous? There's very little I can do to actually calm myself down. Anxiety is like a blaring beacon that won't shut up. I just try to go about my life, but there are times when it's so bad that all I can do is hunker down until the figurative storm is over.

Who was the last person to do something kind for you? Either my dad or Leslie and Iris (managers at the shelter - I had a meeting with them today about some things that were going on and it was largely positive and productive).

How inclined are you to help others? Do you do this frequently? I'm a (recovering?) people-pleaser, so I might be a little too inclined to help others.

What kind of impact does the weather have on your mood? The weather doesn't completely control my mood, but hot and sunny days can make me feel a bit dazed and sluggish, whereas stereotypically gloomy days can make me feel dreamy, nostalgic, festive, and cozy.

What is one aspect of the future that worries you, if any? How I'm going to survive without my dad. I've made a lot of progress, but I'm nowhere near self-reliant.

Do you prefer to keep a clean workspace, or are you somewhat messy? I'm somewhat messy, but I do prefer a clean workspace/desk space.

Do you find it easy or difficult to talk about yourself? Easy in some circumstances, difficult in others. I'm very guarded in most social situations.

When do you feel most accomplished? When I think back on everything I've endured and overcome. Especially lately, with all the shit going on in my life, I'm just like damn, I'm strong as hell compared to how I used to be.

When was the last time you felt like a failure? The last few days. The feeling isn't so severe now, but even with evidence to the contrary, it's something I kind of always feel at least on some level.

Do you have a tendency to be irrational, or are you more realistic? I'm much more realistic nowadays, but I still have my irrational moments.

When was the last time you had a bit of a meltdown, and what caused it? Hmm.

What was going on the last time you were in a bed with someone else? Sleep, probably.

What were you doing the last time you went outside? I went to that meeting I mentioned earlier.

What portion of your day is typically spent out-of-doors? Not much at all.

Do you prefer to be around introverted or extroverted people? It's hard to say because introverted people aren't necessarily quiet or shy, and even though extroverted people might be seen as more conversational/social, that doesn't mean we have enough in common for that trait to help bring me out of my shell. (Also, if you couldn't tell by this answer - as well as my answers to several other questions in this survey - this is why I have such a hard time with those MBTI tests. It's all agree/disagree, and I'm just like…it's not that simple?!?!)

What is a trait of yours that would annoy you if it were in another person? I'm not sure if it would annoy me or just lead to prolonged silences, but I have a tendency to not speak unless spoken to. It does get better once I get to know someone, but during the initial stages…ahhh!

When was the last time you felt exceptionally relaxed? Now. At least compared to how I was feeling.

Do you enjoy interesting-sounding words? If so, list some? Sure. Some fun ones that come to mind are insouciant, obsequious, uncouth, ubiquitous…

[khaleesiofalicante]

hi Dani, how are u?

Do you think there’s a way to stop worrying about grades? I’m majoring in dentistry, but as a first year I have to take basic math for some reason (?). Every teacher has a different grading method, but mine only makes quizzes. Last week I had a quiz and the teacher decided to do it in groups, and I really thought we made everything correct, but the teacher submitted the grades and we only got half of the grade (8/16) and since then I’ve felt really bad because I had done really well until then in the class :((

My classmates told me it’s not a bid deal, but I feel really shitty about everything, because I had done everything really well until then.

I hate feeling like my grades define my worth, but I don’t know how to stop it either 🥲.

I totally relate to this too—especially when I was in uni. First of all, the assignment you did was a group assignment, so it's not entirely your fault. If you got a perfect grade, you wouldn't have taken all the credit, right? So if you didn’t meet your expectations, then you shouldn’t blame only yourself either.

I think something that really helps to not rely too much on your grades for your self-esteem is to ask for qualitative feedback from your teachers. Most teachers just give a grade or a score and don't say much else. If they don’t do that, then you should go to them and ask: What did I do well? Did you see me make any easy mistakes? What can I do better? These are actually questions that you can ask your teacher not just after an exam, but after any assignment or class.

Basically, communication with your teacher about your performance is actually healthy and helpful. I say this while admitting that not all teachers are open to doing this (some are just assholes), so if you do have the opportunity and a teacher who is willing, then talk to them and get their feedback and use that because that's more concrete than a number on a piece of paper.

The second thing is much harder to do, and I've only done it myself when I got older. It’s realizing that exam grades or scores don’t actually reflect your intelligence at all. Especially in a lot of education systems, exams test memory recall and the ability to write a lot in two hours or some other skill that actually has nothing to do with the subject or the career you might be interested in. You really need to find alternative ways to make yourself feel better because more often than not, people who tie their self-esteem to their grades end up tying it to their salary or which university they went to or how many degrees they have, etc. It’s a slippery slope.

It’s okay to tie your self-esteem to your academic achievements. It’s completely normal. But let it be something concrete and personal—like completing a course that you found online, writing an article or essay about a topic of your choice, attending a conference on dentistry, or helping out a dentist at the office. These are all things that will also make you feel good about yourself, and guess what, they are long-lasting and much less stressful than an exam.

So if you’re in uni, I would deeply recommend that you look for opportunities to learn about dentistry or medicine in alternative ways other than just uni classes. If you only learn from school, then the only way you can judge yourself is by your grades. So expand and diversify the way you learn, and you will slowly stop worrying about grades too. There are so many opportunities these days, so I’d recommend that you look out for them and try them out!

Hope this helps!

[threadsun]

🎃 Anon Asks: "UGH! And this is why I love you! I can’t even imagine the stress you and countless others involved with sex work have to go through daily because of how people are. Between this game and a couple of others (DoL is one that can be mentally f someone up but at the same time be hot) and how those people are, it can be scary how quickly people turn aggressive or vicious, but knowing that it’s basically the fringe of sex work makes it completely unimaginable at how distressing and taxing sex work can be. It’s giving “Show and Tell” by Melanie Martinez vibes. It really can be easy though to just step away from things if they don’t mesh and I don’t understand why people don’t do it if it’s not harmful to others or themselves. Maybe it’s because they created the soft fluffy boyfriend image in their head and don’t want to let it go which I can totally understand, but like how the one anon on here said, Jack is a manipulator and extremely dangerous. As someone who deals with REAL ghosts, I know how dangerous they can be since they are still people after all. If they were bad alive, then they’re still bad when dead (unless they actually put in the work to change, but lies are still a thing.) So with Jack not only having normal ghosty qualities but some other powers that are very questionable to him being a ghost and maybe something more, putting a halo on his head might not be the best move here. Sure, we can put on our rose glasses here for fun, but for those who take it more seriously and don’t truly see any issues with his grooming behaviors, I’d be more concerned for the individual based off my own personal experiences of when I acted that way as a teen. I put myself in dangerous situations because of mindsets like that and I’m afraid of others acting the same way with REAL people. Ironically, it’s because I repressed my sexuality and kinks for the longest that it came out in some damaging ways, just as you’ve mentioned. So that’s why I’m thankful that your blog exists because it delves into sex and kink positivity, sex education, and healthy views of a variety of kinks. (Like the fuck-or-die kink with Joesph. I didn’t know the want of urgency in sex had an official kink name, but did it open new doors for me? Hell yeah it did! Lol) Even the normal headcannons you do for characters portray healthy versions of even the most filthiest of kinks and what a person should look for when establishing a healthy relationship with their kinks. Compared to how many sites portray unrealistic views of sex (*coughmainstreampornCOUGH*), it’s nice to have someone who is more reliable source to discuss about sex and kinks. Now if Jack wasn’t such a manipulative, dangerous guy and had a more healthy relationship with himself and others, I’d totally go for IRL. Oh, and of course it’d be nice if he was alive too lol. But as of now, I’m just going to continue indulging in such a toxic relationship through the game and fics. In any case, I’m glad you liked my rambling on what I think certain aspects would be played out with Jack sexually! I always love reading your headcanons and the responses you give to other people’s takes so seeing how you saw mine was pretty awesome! Lol but I can DEFINITELY see Jack acting like that being a sadist. It’s like he wants his sunshine to feel just as desperate and needy for him as he does for you. Almost like it’s subconscious payback for how PAINFUL it was to wait for his sunshine to FINALLY give into him sexually, how frustrated and uncomfortable he was hearing his sunshine shower without him in there, seeing their lips wrap around the fork of the pancakes he worked so hard on for them instead of around his throbbing cock. His sunshine should be moaning in delight from how his cum tastes inside their mouth, not from the blueberries bursting on their tongue. It’s almost like there’s a part of him crying out for a reward like how he’s always cried out for love and affection not only from us internally, but from his time as Joesph too.

Jack is loved by all, so why isn’t his sunshine giving into his loving efforts? Sure, he’s more than willing to make sure they’re healthy and happy expecting nothing in return, but doesn’t his sunshine just how CRAZY it drives him to know your beautiful body is right there for him to touch and hold, but can’t? How much it physically ACHES not only his body, but his heart as well? So all in all, seeing them physically uncomfortable with a desperate need for them is just a taste what he’s gone through, but he’s not cruel so he’ll only give a sliver of his burden. No, he’s a clean man now and giving them more would be something Joesph would do, but not him. But again, he wouldn’t actively think like this the entire time since he doesn’t focus on his needs and ambitions during sex, he only focuses on his sunshine first, he can come afterwards. (That can be a pun I think lol). I’m sorry with how long these are! I usually don’t type this much but I think my brain is thankful I’m finally setting them loose instead of holding back like I usually do. I promise that they’ll be a lot shorter in the future! Anyway, DRINK WATER!"

Yeah, content creation in general is rough, but as soon as you get into sex territory it becomes even worse. So like my heart goes out to 18+ content creators having to deal with entitled fans. I've had my fair share of them, and they're really tough to handle mentally. It wears you down and makes you feel like your content isn't good enough, like your art isn't worth making. Don't get me wrong, I love doing sex work and I wouldn't give it up for anything, but it's not easy. And people will treat you terribly because they don't see you as a real person.

I'm glad that my blog can be a little safe haven for people to indulge their kinks and not worry about judgement! I just want people to be safe and happy and engage in their sexual desires in a healthy way!

Also yeah, like I know I tend to lean more into the sweet himbo Joseph idea because of how he came across in the interview, but like I'm 100% aware that probably won't be what he's like in canon. And I won't be upset if/when he's not how I imagine him. But people can't seem to do that with Jack, which is ridiculous since we know more about him in canon than Joseph anyway.

But yes!!! Exactly, that's how I imagine his sadism!!! He almost uses it as a test of his Sunshine's devotion. As a way to see how dedicated they are to him, how much pain they're willing to endure for him. Because he's endured so much pain for them and he wants to see it reciprocated! That's also why he's into edging most likely, he's been essentially getting edged for so long that he needs to edge his Sunshine until they're begging for it, until they're half mad with desire. Until they understand what he's been through for them.

[paintpanic]

Thanks earlier for your advice on drawing Elfilis! If it’s ok to ask this next, what’s a good way to experiment with brushes for an art style? And may I ask how you draw the outline things you do? They’re really cute :)

Long post that got a little rambly. 😅

When I experiment with brushes, I'll generally open up the "all" tab for them and start picking out ones that look interesting. Just start scribbling things on the page!

Generally, when I'm looking through brushes, I have an effect I want to achieve in mind. For example, if I want to make a soft looking sky, I'll check out whatever blending brushes and airbrush type-things I have in stock.

Also, if you haven't already, you can go online and look for brush packs to add to your program. Download whatever looks neat, if you don't end up using it it's no big deal!

Don't be afraid to use brushes in ways they weren't intended for. Right now, my favorite brushes for line art are ones that seem meant for color blocking. (I'm using GDQuest's "Pixel Grunge" and Krita's default "Charcoal Rock Soft".) I like slightly fuzzy, gritty-ish line art, so these work well for that.

You can also try making your own brushes, either from scratch or by playing with existing ones from the program. Last summer, I made a brush out of a normal watercolor brush and a Paint 3D render of Elfilin. Here's something I drew with that. Please, don't be afraid to get silly with brushes!

In addition to experimenting with brushes, I love to play with filters, especially to make backgrounds more interesting. If you use Krita, you can go to Filters > Start G'MIC-Qt to play with a big list of powerful, fun ones. (I also reccomend playing some with Filters > Artistic > Halftone).

In regards to line art, I generally use the two previously mentioned brushes (GDQuest's "Pixel Grunge" and Krita's default "Charcoal Rock Soft" both scaled really small) to get a grungy, textured look. Like most people (I think?) I do my line art over a sketch layer which I've made semi-transparent.

I leave little gaps in my line art, which I've heard can contribute to an "illustrated" feel? Anyways, I color in between the gaps as if there was a continuous line there. (I do my colors on a layer below the lines, which I also think is common practice) Sometimes I'll tint my line dark brown or dark blue to add to the color palette of a drawing. It's also fun to set your lines to "alpha lock" and play with colored line art or airbrushing a gradient onto it.

The most important thing about your art style, though, is that YOU enjoy drawing in it! If drawing things a certain way is too hard or stresses you out, you're always allowed to draw it a different way. You're also always allowed to "cheat". I totally have templates made for things I know will be a pain to do (eg. Sectonia's wings) so that I can trace them when I need to draw them in a piece.

Good luck with your art! Have fun!

[sounknownvoid]

give jared size-appropriate sets and props n stories

i know this is a bit random but have been watching walker and also on tumblr recently saw that whole gifset about torture-porn of sam (i mean what else could we call it haha)... and also on rewatches - noticed that jared does sometimes look awkward doing just regular things and its always bugged me why that is - & ive realised (yeh, i know - d-uh!!... slow singular brain cell made the trek to join the dots finally) - the main reason is literally his size...

Example: When he holds a sawed off gun with both hands which is the "correct stance" - you can barely see the gun itself - & he looks like an (adorable) dork instead of a bada$$.... same thing when hes doing certain rolls or dealing n interacting with cars or people or other things....he looks awkward coz hes having to bend down or squish himself to interact - ie his size is actively ignired in the narrative n stories n sets - its treated almost like a hindrance to his portrayal by the makers which is a shame...

He looks awkward handling things or looks extremely tentative even when hes otherwise being feirce or whatever - simply because he's compensating for his size - constantly....

I get it (but in reverse - im a shorty in a big-persons world and im constantly stretching,climbing on things and generally stressed and stretched out - making things look harder than it should be - simply coz to me, it *is* harder).... similarly, i imagine, being his size and NOT having things be in his size must make him feel like his entire existence is in a "cage" where he feels "too big/too much" and at risk of breaking stuff/hurting someone and constantly being worried and careful - suspect it is why he does those scenes really well too - from spn to walker...caged is how he must constantly physically feel IRL due to his size....

So this is what i want for jared in some future project hes starring in: i want him to be in something where he is playing a badass mofo that we know he can do v well - with that hesitancy removed - i want a role for him which narratively doesnt restrict him, i want sets and props in his size so that it looks right - i want to see him in something thats made to *fit him* physically, mentally and talent-wise ...instead of him having to scrunch himself to fit the narrative or look weird handling things that are too fragile or too small or whatever (ofc have other things be normal sized for other actors etc - & every now n then show something that he dwarfs to call out the size)....

he is massive with a big heart and a big talent - i want something that will *fully showcase* that massiveness where he doesnt have to be afraid to be as big as he is... id watch the hell out of something like that....

seeing jared at his ease could add a whole new depth and dimension to his characters....n heck that might be the most discomfort he's faced as an actor - coz i know he's said at cons or whatever that hes a bit self conscious about his body/size and always trying to downplay it....

i say lets get him in an environment where he's taught to embrace his own physical space n size and even how to work with it to best advantage and lets enjoy the magic that might happen as a result!

I'd love to see him play dark, totally in control smooth n suave and slightly sinister "master of all he surveys" type character that fully uses his bulk to intimidate n uses it effectively n to full effect - full on "king"-vibe ....that then could eventually proceeds to reveal his more softer side....

So whatd you guys think? - action-hero or spy or dark magical sorceror dude? - your ideas on what kinda character it could be that he could play that narratively called for / played up his physical size and his combat/shooting/etc action-skills but also dark n very in-control etc - along with hus vulnerable side?...

[goongiveusnothing]

realistically it won't last long though, which is why all their stress about it is so weird. in 9 months they'll be crying and saying the same thing about some other girl. i don't know why they've set themselves up for this.

They are always like this and will move on to their next victim soon. His fans are crazy like why would they do that to themselves if they took screenshots of their own tweets and comments and take a look then maybe they'll realise how stupid they are. And celebrating this relationship only because she's his first poc gf is straight up weird. Yeah a white dude known for dating skinny white blonde blue eyes woman showed interest in a poc wow he's dating a poc yeahh let's celebrate. They don't even see her as a person it's so sad actually. In this case i don't know who should be more embarrassed harry or his fans. Is this support or without even knowing calling him out because that's how it looks.

they have to celebrate something. what else is there to celebrate in his fandom? he gives them nothing! bad movies, a boring stadium tour, no dancing, no onstage nothing, shitty banter at every show, dating the same type of woman over and over, bad kissing, being besties with all the world's scummiest creepiest people, being a total dullard with zero personality, singing songs about how women's asses look in yoga pants and how he likes to watch women asphyxiate for his pleasure, fucking nail varnish colors every month and one new tote bag he needs you to buy, never fucking dating a man despite how they insist he's queer, never coming out of the closet despite the fact they believe he wants to, being a massive zionist, being completely apolitical during the most political moments in our recent history.

like fair play to them, celebrating that he actually will date a light skinned black women when he has ZERO ethnic friends or anyone really in his life is a big deal for him and for them, maybe when he sings about tanned skin in a future love song he'll actually mean it's about a black woman and not a woman with a tan. maybe she'll be the one he sings about doing cocaine with in a kitchen or choking out or using fruit euphemisms for her vagina while covering his album in her ass tattoos. i get why his fans would celebrate what they can get.

and in 8 months when he's dating someone else, they can pretend they're happy about it all over again because maybe she'll have one (1) nice post about palestine or a political situation any normal grieving human being in this moment would think and share and harry never would.

[heathersdesk]

I want to talk about this in the church sphere. This is one of the spaces where it's most important to get this right, and it definitely falls apart more often than not when kids become teenagers.

When my husband and I first moved to Idaho, we were the Sunday school teachers for a group of 14-15 year olds. This group had developed a reputation from the time they were in Primary of chewing up teachers and spitting them out. I was told horror stories of how badly they had treated some of their teachers, how they'd gotten in trouble with their parents so many times, how much they didn't want me to take it personally if they disengaged and didn't show up or checked out.

I cannot stress to you enough how normal these kids were. They never did anything that wasn't totally normal for their age.

The first war I put an end to was against the phones. Why? Why do adults have this assumption that as soon as anyone is looking at their phone, they're no longer listening? They can do both. And if they're not listening, that's okay too! I tune out stuff all the time that isn't applicable to me and tune back in when something interests me. It feels like unbridled arrogance to expect the full, undivided attention of anyone to me. Especially a teenager, when I can fully see that being in a religious space is happening to them against their will. They're already experiencing disrespect of their will and choices just by being there. I don't need to add anything else to it to make it worse.

We started gamifying church to make it interesting. They loved Jeopardy, so we did that once a month. We had questions we would ask for prizes each Sunday, which everyone who answered would get a candy bar. But if you answered first, you got a king size of whatever you asked for the next week. They had to text us the answers and they had to wait until class was over. They appreciated that and took it really seriously. We needed the time stamps on the texts to call it sometimes, and they were really competitive.

There were rewards for participation, but no punishment if you didn't. My husband was called to something else and I had the class on my own. Their parents all came to me and said all the same stuff they said at the beginning. They didn't think I'd be able to handle them. And by that point, their kids were as engaged as they could be. Several of them were participating consistently. The one who never talked, to the point that I had no idea what his voice sounded like, said "good stuff" at the end one time. Honest to God, I wanted to make myself an award for that one.

All I did was expect them to be teenagers, let them act like teenagers, showed them gratitude for participating, and let them have a clean slate by not holding stuff against them that happened when they were 6 years old.

One of the most important lessons I taught that really made a difference was when we talked about mental illness. We did an anonymous Q and A, and one of them genuinely wanted to know where God is during mental illness. They couldn't have had a better person speaking to that than me because I am mentally ill. I was dealing with PTSD and chronic illness at the time. And when I tell you you could've heard a pin drop, that every eye was on me, not a single phone was out, I had their full and collective attention for the first time, I'm not kidding. I had the privilege of telling them from my heart that God doesn't give up on people in mental illness. It wasn't a perfect delivery. But I meant what I said. It was a truly powerful moment where my imperfect language didn't matter because the Spirit was carrying what they truly needed to hear in that moment. And even though I knew who asked the question, there was more than one person who needed that answer, including one who really resented church and wasn't there very often.

And there were no topics off limits. We covered the multiple accounts of the First Vision and the anti-Catholic rhetoric attributed to the Book of Mormon in the same Q and A. If there was anything any of them wanted to talk about, we created spaces to deviate from the curriculum to have those conversations. We did it often. We developed a trust with them that allowed them, and us, to be human.

When I was in Relief Society, I became their advocates in that space. I told their parents constantly how good they were, how much they've grown, that they needed more credit and some slack. Every time I talked about them behind their backs, it was only to say something good about them. I never repeated anything they said or did back to their parents. There was nothing to report anyway, except that I loved them and they genuinely didn't give me any problems. And that was the truth.

Treat teenagers like people. They are people. They have their own feelings, needs, and spirituality that is going to develop independent of the institution, even when they're in it. And that's okay! View your influence as a privilege, not a right. Treat their hearts like sacred ground that require a gentle touch and consent. Everyone deserves that. Teenagers in any church are no exception.

consider: teenagers aren’t apathetic about everything they’re just used to you shitting all over whatever they show excitement about

[toomuchpurple]

Pregnancy stuff

So my ultrasound came back with 2 anomalies. One heart and one spine. So that's. Not great.

But both of those things do have the potential to resolve themselves in utero, so it might all be totally fine and I just spent a couple days weeping and depressed for no big deal. I have appointments scheduled to check up on those things so we can monitor their progression/abatement.

The way I personally am affected is that these things mean I have to give birth in a hospital just in case baby needs immediate intervention. I am rather unsettled by this bc I am bad with hospitals, bad with doctors, and am easy to manipulate when under duress. These things compound each other.

For the record I can deal with hospitals and doctors when I am not the patient and I can deal w manipulation when not under duress. But the thing about giving birth is that i will be all of these things...

A hospital also means different things for how we're going to have to pay for treatment. Mostly bad things. It is really hard trying to save up for baby when just getting baby is so expensive. I am eternally envious of all the couples who can just knock each other up. It would be so much easier to have a family if I could just have sex and then have babies bc of that. But we gotta get the medical everything involved.

I am also anxious bc we need to do more testing of the fetus' genetics. The lesser evil is getting my blood drawn to examine it for chromosomal anomalies, etc. The greatest evil is that there are tests they can only do by extracting amniotic fluid which is done by sticking a needle into my stomach and into my womb to draw it out. This I am attempting to avoid at all costs. Alongside it having its risks to the fetus, I cannot abide a bigass needle in me in my anywhere. To do that shit they would need to put me under. And they famously do not like to do that to pregnant people.

When getting tested for fertility, there's a test where they use a catheter in your cervix to inject colored water into your uterus to expand it and make sure it's the right shapes for conception. Or something like that. They had to put me under for that shit. I have extremely high sensitivity to internal stimuli. Apparently it's not normal to be able to feel your organs? Anyway, during menstruation I can feel my cervix spasm and my hip bones shift. So I can feel Too Many Things.

I have also been convinced to do genetic counseling. I have been adverse to it because I am concerned about ableism from the medical community and being pressured into/against things, because again, I am very easy to manipulate under stress. But we need to find out if baby's anomalies are simple abnormalities or if they're caused by genetic defect, which could subsequently cause other problems outside of the two presently identified.

But AGAIN, both of these problems might sort themselves out. Spine might grow some more and end up normal. Heart might grow some more and the defect shrink. Baby could be born as healthy as could be, could be born with something nonthreatening like a heart murmur. But baby could be born with a hole in its heart and congenital scoliosis. We just don't know. It is the not knowing which is most frightening. If I knew to be braced for the worst I could do that. It's possible that baby is born healthy as a horse and the doctor says Haha Aren't You Glad You Didn't Worry?

And then my spouse and I would start to smash shit with clawheaded hammers.

[conceptsnest]

EMOTIONAL CYCLE OF CHANGE: NAVIGATING TRANSITIONS AND TRANSFORMATIONS - CHAPTER -01

To improve and grow, change is required. To change effectively, involves thought and emotion. Whether we are learning to ride a bike, renovating the house, getting in better physical shape, making meetings better, improving governance, implementing a challenging strategic plan, resolving unhealthy conflict, or changing something in our personal life, it will be an emotional ride.

64% of people quit their new year’s goals in January. That’s less than 8% into the year. So how do we keep the excitement of new goals without falling off? Understanding the process of change is fuel for transformation. Reaction is pain. Anticipation is power.

Emotional (Cognitive) Changes

Emotional (Cognitive) changes occurs when we select which of several potential emotional meanings will be attached to a situation.  Then, later this meaning gives rise to subjective feelings, and behavioral and physiological changes.  Emotional (Cognitive) change occurs when we alter our cognitive appraisals and changing these cognitive appraisals changes our emotional experiences.

Can we control those emotional responses? Conscious control over the limbic system is possible, not by suppressing a feeling, but rather by changing the interpretation that creates the feeling in the first place. So to change an emotional response we need to go back to the opinion that provoked it. If we change how we interpret the reality, we will change the emotions that show up.

Changing the interpretation of reality doesn’t mean making stuff up; it just means emphasizing a different aspect of reality. Other people might rejoice in this fact and have a totally different response because they look at it from a different angle. Learning to switch our perception of the situation on demand is called “cognitive reappraisal” (or pratipaksha bhavana in yoga) and it is a great tool for emotional regulation.

There are four types of Cognitive Reappraisal. Some- we already do automatically, and some require a bit more conscious effort.

1. Reinterpret the event: This is fairly easy to do about situations that we are not particularly invested in. We see a guy stomping his feet on the street and think he is angry or crazy and should stay away. Then he smiles and shakes off some dirt from his shoe and we reinterpret him as a friendly guy who is trying to get the dirt of his shoe. The brain sometimes does this automatically as it receives new information. We can also do it intentionally if we accept that there might be aspects of the situation that we are not aware of, and be willing to revise our opinions once new information is received.

2. Normalize: Anything new and uncertain is frightening to the brain. So whenever we meet a new client, start a new project, face a new challenge our reaction might range from slightly uncomfortable to a full-blown panic. Usually just recognizing that we are having this reaction can help diminish the stress response significantly. Having an explanation for an experience reduces uncertainty and increases a perception of control. Once we become more familiar with the situation and develop strategies for handling it, it will become normalized.

3. Reorder information, or reevaluate: The brain stores all information as a complex map of the world. It is arranged as a hierarchy in order of importance to us. Simply deciding that something is not important and not worth the time and mental effort rearranges our mental map and changes things. Reordering how we value the world changes the hierarchical structure of how the brain stores information, which changes how it interacts with the world. We can decide to deal with important things and not sweat the unimportant stuff.

4. Reposition, or find a new perspective from which to interpret the situation: This is the most challenging type of reappraisal, because the older we get the more opinionated we become, and more set in our ways. Our view becomes the only rational and common sense approach. Yet there are as many points of view as there are people. If we take on another person’s perspective, we are changing the context through which to view the situation. This is useful not only for interactions that involve two people, but for any challenge that we might be dealing with. We can try to view the situation from another person’s perspective, or from the perspective of another culture, or even from our own standpoint at a different time in our life.

Emotional Change Cycle

The emotional change cycle refers to the process by which individuals transition through various emotional stages when confronted with significant life events, challenges, or personal growth. Understanding the emotional change cycle can provide valuable insights into how emotions evolve, how we respond to them, and how we can navigate our emotional landscape more effectively.

Each person reacts differently to change, and not everyone will experience all of these phases. The more aware we become, the better able we are to understand and adapt to change successfully. If we understand the emotional cycle of change, it normalizes the range of emotion that occurs and keeps us and our organization from going off the rails. The cycle is present in all kinds of scenarios — a change in leadership, the introduction of new vision, the move from one type of board structure to another, and when learning new leadership competencies.

What Is the Emotional Cycle of Change?

The emotional cycle of change was developed in 1979 by psychologists Don Kelly and Darrell Connor. The cycle outlines some of the common emotions we may feel as we experience, react to, and navigate change. It describes the emotions most of us experience during the change process. While the cycle has distinct phases, not everyone will experience the same emotions or in the same order.

What’s important is that we use the cycle to better anticipate the emotional journey as we encounter new experiences. The emotional cycle of change is relevant to almost any personal or professional context provided we seek out the change ourselves. This is the sort of experience that starts with unbridled optimism which transitions to realism, pessimism, and self-doubt.

The Five Stages Of The Emotional Cycle Of Change

The emotional cycle of change has five phases.

1 – Uninformed Optimism: This is the most exciting phase where we imagines the possibilities and potential of the new unit. We may only imagine best-case scenarios since any obstacles or setbacks have not yet been experienced. Emotions: excitement, joy, anticipation. 

2 – Informed Pessimism: We have been working long enough to realize how much there is to do or learn. We feel less positive about our chances of success and may question whether the endeavor is worth it. Emotions: frustration, fear, anger, anxiety.

3 – Valley Of Despair: The third phase is the valley of despair, a critical juncture where most become overwhelmed and admit defeat. While this point represents rock bottom, those who push forward may be rewarded for their perseverance. Authors Kelly and Connor were more optimistic, calling it “hopeful realism”. We may find ourselves moving between the first three phases as we try something new, realize it’s too hard, and rationalize that doing something else would be easier. Emotions: despair, shame, hopelessness. 

4 – Informed Pessimism: Positive emotions start to return in the fourth phase as we start to believe that success is at least possible if not likely. Hope and faith drive us closer to our objective through hard work and determination. Small wins build critical momentum. Emotions: hope, optimism, humility, happiness.

5 – Success & Fulfillment: Here, we have launched a new product or seen our company reach unicorn status. We see and experience the results of change. Emotions: gratitude, contentment, pride.

Knowing the journey and embracing the ride helps. This knowledge is useful to increase our chances of healthy change.

The Kubler Ross Change Curve

The Kubler Ross change curve is a highly acclaimed and compelling model explaining how people behave and react to change and upheaval. Even when we can see the benefits of change (and we might not always agree on those benefits), it can be difficult to instigate, process and accept.

The Change Curve can help leaders predict how people might adapt to change, so that they can provide the most appropriate support to help with the transition. Especially so when it is seen along with an understanding of Belbin Team Roles, as this can help to approach change within a group or team. Armed with both methodologies, leaders can understand how different people react to change and facilitate the process to make adapting to a new situation easier for everyone.

There are six stages most people go through in responding to change. At each stage in the curve, they will experience different emotions. These are: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, and are based on the 5 stages of grief, also by Kübler Ross.

These stages vary from person to person. They may not occur in the ‘right’ order, or even sequentially as outlined below - it’s possible for people to return to a prior stage if it is incomplete.

Stage 1 – Shock: People might feel numb and unable to react in the first instance.

Stage 2 – Denial: It may take time for people to process the new information and consider its ramifications. They may behave as though the change is not taking place or is not imminent. They may refuse to engage with the reality of the situation.

Stage 3 – Anger: When the reality of the situation can no longer be denied, people may become angry. This anger might be directed at themselves, or others. They might disregard the rules, disengage or lash out and seek to blame other people as a defense mechanism against the discomfort. Of all the change curve emotions, this one has perhaps the greatest potential to cause damage in team relationships. 

Stage 4 – Bargaining: Here, people begin to engage with the change, but not in a constructive way. People bargain or look for trade-offs. Their suggestions might be impractical or unrealistic and are a means of seeking to manage the change so that it does not affect them adversely.

Stage 5 – Depression: People are likely to be experiencing loss, doubt and confusion as well as fear, regret and even guilt. They may become withdrawn and disengaged, and have difficulty focusing on work. They might begin to question how their job might look in view of the changes, and whether they can continue in their role.

Stage 6 – Acceptance: People stop focusing on what has been lost. They begin to rationalize and take steps towards adapting to the change. This stage often sees a rise in morale, engagement and performance. It is still possible for people to regress to an earlier stage at any time.

Stage 7 - Problem-solving: By the end of the process, people are not only resigned to the change, but are actively committed to it. They might test and explore different elements of the new ways of working. They become engaged in solving problems that the change may have created and are looking for solutions to move things forward. It is only now that the organization begins to see the return on investment (ROI) for making changes. 

***To be continued in Chapter 02 (Embarking On Organizational Change, Change Curve Leadership, Belbin Team Roles and the Change Curve, Leading and Managing Change: Reflections Along the Curve , Alternative Models for the Emotional Cycle of Change, Implementing Change)

Link to Chapter 02:

Content Curated By: Dr Shoury Kuttappa

[footballffbarbiex]

Amy hiii! How are you doing?? I hope everything you’ve been going through feels a bit lighter and better now 🙏. I see you as a big sis I have never had and I cannot talk about sex with anyone around me. If it is okay for you to answer my question, I would be soooo glad 🥺. I have just had my first sex experience with all intercourse etc. My partner helps me a lot but I want to ask you something. He makes me come first with non penetrative stuff (I didn’t feel anything arousal while his penis in my vagina, idk whether it is okay or I just feel like this because it is just new to me) but the problem is after I cum, I totally lose my interest in sex, like I don’t want to do anything related to it. But before having orgasm I am all in, passion is there. I don’t want it to end like this. Is it normal experiencing something like this or is something wrong with me?

hello bb! I'm good thank you, though it feels this week has been all too rushed. I've had more shifts at work and I've been trying to juggle those, house cleaning and chores with socialising with friends, trying to be a good mother and a loving, present girlfriend but for some reason, this weekend it's felt more stressful? in general, how are you honeybun?

I just wanted to say a big thank you for trusting me to give a non judgemental reply and offer advice to the best of my knowledge. it honestly means the world to me that I'm able to be a safe place for you to come here to ask. I'll put my reply under the cut because it may be long.

firstly, the fact that your partner takes the time to ensure that you're aroused and brings you to an orgasm is just amazing. so many people don't have someone who is so willing to provide you pleasure! so this makes me happy that this person is trying to make this experience as enjoyable for you as possible. trust me when I tell you, it makes the world of difference.

secondly, there's nothing wrong with you at all. at. all. so please, don't think there is. an orgasm is truly a wonderful thing but it can have several different effects for different people. for some, it makes them drowsy and makes them want to sleep. for some others, it's a perfect way to continue. for some others, once they've cum, and this applies to men, they just want to move on from what they've done and forget about it.

I know a lot of men who when watching porn, if they reach an orgasm before the video has finished, they have no interest in it and seek to clean themselves up, turn it off and just forget what they did because it's over. and sometimes you can go through each of these stages depending on your mood! there are no doubt more examples, but these are just a few off the top of my head.

but the important thing to remember here is that there is no right way to deal with this.

I found after having sex for the first time, it wasn't enjoyable at all for me. we'd never had any foreplay at all, the most we'd done was make out and he'd done some dirty talk and I "joked" about him just having sex with me to get it over and done with. 30 seconds later, our underwear was off, and my virginity was gone and he had finished. it took over a month for me to truly begin to enjoy sex. before that, it felt weird, not pleasurable and something I did because he was a teenage boy who was finally getting his penis wet.

once it became enjoyable, things changed - especially when we began to learn about each other's body and what turned us on. from the sounds of things, your partner has already started to get the swing of yours which is such a good start.

something else I want to ask is, how did you partner react after this happened? and how did that reaction make you feel? you could try ways to get you aroused without an orgasm, ie enough to be turned on in order to have sex (should this be the goal for your session as many people are happy with simply foreplay and no sex to follow) and once everything is done, you could have your orgasm at the end. that way, once you have finished, it's all wrapped up in a bow and you don't need to be feeling uncomfortable about trying to think of ways to end whatever sexual act you're doing.

I can only speak from my own experiences and conversations I've had in the past regarding orgasms and relationships, so I can't do so for everyone but if anyone has experienced anything similar or have an input that that they'd like to share with this nonny to help, please do but remember to be respectful.