#which is silly i know but. brain do that

[thefreshprinceofjunes]

well since today is apparently a RANT POST kind of day, im gonna type up some thoughts ive had on vanitas ive wanted to get out of my system (i dont like him)

i realize expending energy on smth negative doesnt help anyone, but its the sort of thing ive had eating at my brain, and im hoping writing it down will allow me to stop thinking about it so much lol (luv having ocd alongside being autistic)

i do not understand the love for vanitas. i really dont.

and im not talking about fans who like him bc hes edgy sora. theyre villain fuckers. i get that.

i mean i dont understand how many people legitimately think hes a sympathetic character with more depth than just, like, being an asshole.

and before anyone says anything, yes, i know the bbs novel goes into his backstory, and makes it really tragic.

but kh3 did absolutely no job whatsover of incorporating any of that into his scenes in the game. he just comes off as the same big asshole that caused nothing but pain and suffering for the wayfinder trio in bbs

like all of the members of the real organization had some sort of redeeming moment before they died again, except for him. to me it felt like he just flipped off ven and sora and went, ‘haha fuck you guys i LOVE being darkness and i LOVE being evil see yall fucking later’, even as sora was trying to reach out to him

(yes i realize theres smth involving the translation of this scene, but im just gonna go off the english dub rn)

and. it sounds really petty. and a sign i might take shipping too seriously.

but i keep thinking about this shit because tumblr keeps recommending an artist on here that draws so/vani + vani/ku + so/ri/vani

and i cannot wrap my mind around those ships at ALL

even besides vanitas having soras face, why in gods name would a pure, sweet, innocent boy like him want to date just. the biggest douchebag??

and riku??? the one desperately in love with sora???? THAT riku??? dating a boy who looks like sora but is the exact opposite of him in terms of personality???????

its like. doing a disservice to both of their characters to have them involved with him IMO. like why would they ever. theyre so much better than him. they DESERVE better.

again. i know its just shipping and i know ppl are having fun. i recognize theyre not hurting anyone. and they often make up aus specifically to fit their ships. but i just. 

i do not get it, man. vanitas sucks.

(its worth mentioning i am bitter also bc i always see ppl call xion [my fav female character and like second or third fav character overall] the most pointless/shoehorned character in kh. and i just wanna be like. excuse me, have you SEEN vanitas???)

[spoopdeedoop]

real friends have weird greetings that usually involve hitting each other

[daikonghost143]

Go for it Nakamura template cause yeah

God its been so long since ive drawn saiouma… what like? A year and a half maybe? At least? Before i made my tumblr account definitely, or i would have posted them before. Idk,, but i got recommended a few fanfics recently and now im hyperfixated on them again so thats cool ig.

[ganondoodle]

sometimes i wish i was one of those artist that make people go "this is a PAINTING???" or "with WHAT programm/medium???" but its just not what i can do or find fun :/

[cadaverskey]

if i'm being entirely honest i find the term "spiritual psychosis" annoying at best. it makes me feel as though i, as someone with schizoaffective disorder, need to work extra hard to "prove" my spiritual beliefs are valid.

here's the thing. my spirituality has always been and will always be flavored and colored by being schizoaffective. even when i was an atheist i could not untangle the two. there's never going to be a way for me to know where the line is drawn between my spiritualism and my psychosis. for example i will probably never shake the idea that i died and was resurrected, and that event holds SIGNIFICANT spiritual meaning for me, even on antipsychotics, even when i can recognize that yes, it's probably the remains of a delusion.

so please tell me, why is it anyone else's business if i incorporate that into my religious practices? it harms no one and gives me one more reason to rejoice. if it started causing actual problems, putting me in danger, causing me distress, bringing along disorganized thinking or anything of the sort, that's when it would be time for me to get help. but really and truly i would not want random people im not close with to tell me to get that help, especially if their only clues into my mental state come from my spiritual practices. i am not a dog to be taken to the vet. sometimes people are psychotic and we exist in your communities and we have religious beliefs and you have GOT to suck it up and allow space for us, however our conditions affect us and our practices.

it's also just. buries my face in my hands. you can just say psychosis, you don't need a special term for it. again it just makes me feel like i'm being singled out and not being taken seriously because there's a long LONG history of psychotic/schizospec people having our mental illnesses used as reason to disregard us. please just mind your business.

[lunarrosette]

Folks have we considered Trudy is not a robot but instead some sort of eldritch horror her husband made or somehow brought about to have the “perfect wife”

[grif-hawaiian-rolls]

Is this canon? Technically no.

Is it even In character? Absolutely not!

Do I care? Not really!

Locus is my blorbo and i can put him in annoying situations, like having a small squad of annoying but just-good-enough-to-not-kill-them Feds, if i want to

[sleepy-stitches]

google search how to safely have my friends from other groups smell each other through the door like cats so they can be introduced

[rapidhighway]

Knuckles... i miss him.. i literally just saw him, in fanfic

[caliburn-not-calculator]

Much bad feel, must go to work tomorrow, tagedeh

[wisecrackingeric-2]

Can I be mega autistic here and vent for a second and ask if anyone else is lowkey scared for whatever the next RE game is HSBWHDNDJ

[sysig]

Coding woes (Patreon)

[mumblesplash]

man i’ve had pretty serious art block before in the past but it was always more a lack of inspiration/irl stuff draining all my energy, currently Not having art block but getting hit by my first bout EVER of feeling like i just straight up can’t make anything that’s good enough and oh my god how do people deal with this

[zebratimw]

Spirit animal SQH

[outlying-hyppocrate]

i have officially returned. ask me anything.

[averlym]

,,, sun-dappled sheets...