#which is my budget I set myself for starting a hobby I may or may not be interested in
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Hey y'all my neighbors had a yard sale and I got an autoharp but I know absolutely nothing about autoharps, how to tune them, or how to play them. Do you have any advice?
#the person behind the yarn#I got a very good deal on it because I told the person selling it I would definitely be learning to play it#and she was like really? and I said yeah I already know how to play a few instruments#and I'm excited to learn to play more#and she was like oh good I got it for my granddaughter hoping she'd learn to play but she wasn't interested#so! autoharp!!#the price was below my Enrichment For My Enclosure threshold#which is my budget I set myself for starting a hobby I may or may not be interested in#purely for the novelty factor of it. new puzzles for my brain to chew on#like acrylic paint or oil pastels#will they be my primary hobbies? probably not! but it's good to stretch my brain a bit every once in a while
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Preparing for 2023...
2022 is coming to a close, and it’s around this time that I start thinking about my intentions for the year going forward; my goals, or things I want to see, experience, and achieve. A new year can feel like a lot of pressure - pressure to be perfect, to get everything right, to reinvent yourself, and to lead the best life you can, but I think it’s important not to hold such high expectations of the year ahead.
With that said, I want to share some ideas of things you can do before the end of 2022 to ensure you have a smooth journey into the new year, and hopefully start on a positive note. As they say, start as you mean to go on.
All of these things will hopefully be small, simple, and achievable actions to carry out over the next few days. So, let’s get into it…
Digital Cleanse Decluttering is one of my favourite things to do before the end of the year, because I love going into a New Year feeling like I have space for new things and new experiences. For a digital declutter, you can delete unused apps, delete or reorganise your playlists, declutter your files on your laptop/computer, delete photos you don’t want anymore and organise your photos into folders, unsubscribe from mailing lists, and change any passwords you may need to change! I also like doing unfollow/unfriend sprees on my socials to make sure I’m connecting with the people I really care about, and I’m not still friends with or following people who make me feel bad!
Physical Declutter Like a digital declutter, this will just help you clear up some space for things in the New Year. Whether it’s your closet, your desk, your junk drawers, or even emptying your tote bag of receipts (just me?). Now’s the time to donate/recycle old clothes, clean out old/empty or expired makeup and cosmetic items, and get rid of the random wires you never need but have kept for years.
Clean Once you’ve decluttered, it’s time to clean! Clean your phone and laptop, change your bedsheets, dust your shelves - just get your space as clean as you can to really start fresh for the new year. This is also a great time to organise your belongings after you’ve decluttered. Make sure everything has a home and is as tidy as you can get it - you can always revisit things each month or quarter to free up some more space and keep your environment tidy.
Get Organised Start adding important dates to your diary, calendar, google calendar, etc. so you don’t forget important dates or double book events! I personally have a physical diary and calendar, and a digital calendar which syncs to my laptop and phone so I can be sure I won’t miss anything. If you need to plan your budget, now’s the time to do that too.
Goals and/or Intentions As 2022 comes to a close, it’s probably time to start setting some goals and intentions for the new year ahead. New Year Resolutions aren’t really for me, but instead I tend to set a few achievable goals and some good intentions. For example, in 2022, my goal was to do one fun thing a month - whether that was a concert, a comic con, a day trip, a holiday, or even small things like a cinema trip to a film I’ve been desperate to see - and I’m pretty sure I was successful, probably even more so than I had expected to be! Intentions are new to me, I’ve been setting daily intentions when I remember, but my intentions for 2023 are as simple as being kinder to myself, trying my best, and picking up some old hobbies away from my phone! Write your intentions and goals down somewhere, or get creative and make a moodboard or vision board for the year. You could even write down the steps you need to take or changes you can make to achieve your goals and intentions to help you when you’re feeling demotivated or stuck.
Reflect on 2022 As much as we tend to look forward as one year comes to an end, I think it’s just as important to look back on the year we’ve just experienced and reflect on it. Think about the things you achieved, how you changed for better or maybe even for worse, things you needed more of, things you want less of, etc. All of these things will help you know exactly what you want to get out of 2023!
That’s pretty much everything I’m doing over the next few days! I’d love to know if there’s anything you’re doing to prepare yourself for the year ahead.
Wishing you all the best for 2023!
See you there Kee
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#2023#2023 intentions#2023 goals#preparing for 2023#new years resolution#new year#twenty twenty three#cupofkee#criminologykee#blogger#wordpress blogger#studyblr#studygram#study goals#study motivation
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Week 1: Strengths And Weaknesses
Hello! My name is Regan Arksey, first and foremost I'm excited to be working with my new class and I look forward to this new learning experience. As a starting post, I will be listing a few entrepreneur strengths and weaknesses I posses! Starting off strong, I have been raised by a family that has quite a bit of business history (my father owning a gas station). This, in turn, had my parents put me through a bunch of afterschool programs that better molded me into a social/leadership type person. That being said, two of my biggest strengths is effectively communicating with customers/employees and my ability to think creatively/outside the box! My visionary type of creativity stems from my hobby of being a self taught digital art (to which I've been doing for roughly three years now though I've been doing art all my life). Since I've been working in A&W for a good 5 years, one of my bigger weaknesses is that I'm used to working for people instead of having people work for me. I find it more relaxing being told what to do instead of telling others what to do, I sometimes find it difficult to face problems (such as an upset customer) because I'm afraid of anger, though working for 5 years in A&W, I have grown more resistant. This stems from my non-confrontational nature, as I'd much rather just go with what others may say (this can also be seen as a pro to some degree, as it shows I am able to keep calm in stressful situations). The good thing, however, about the type of business I do is that I am my own owner and do not need employees (digital artist as mentioned prior) That being said, I have taken on a leadership roll at A&W as a senior cashier worker - so much so that I've even trained our regional manager when he first started! I make concepts in a workplace easy to understand, so much so others can do the same. Another strength of mine is my ability to financially plan smartly. This is also due to the fact my father is a finances type of man, so I've learned a lot off of him. Saving money on the side incase something happens and being able to limit/budget myself. The beauty of this type of business I will be running through this course is that I will not need to use a budget. I use a free digital art program with all the tools I'd ever need! No need for that pricey Photoshop here! One last weakness I do face is my time management. If there's something I do not understand, I will procrastinate/hold it off until I start stressing. Its what ended up happening to this post, I would have had this done sooner had I sat down and read it more clearly/thought it through. Though once I do understand an objective or an end-goal I get it done as soon as possible without hesitation. Since I've been doing art for myself as well and only myself, I've never challenged myself to actually put a deadline on. Though, since I will be taking a couple of commissions now through this course - I will have to start doing so which I am confident I will be able to meet! In the end, I know I will do well and achieve all the goals I will set for myself. When I meet failure, I will pick myself right back up and double down to achieve success the next time around. I look forward to what this course has in store for me and I'm excited to see what I can learn!
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Hi. First of all I'm really sad that you're getting annoyed by Christmas, because Christmas is one of the best times of the year for me and seeing someone start to dislike it really breaks my heart.
Second of all, I 100% agree that gift budgets suck, especially when your hobby requires some pretty expensive equipment. I can't really help you there but I feel you, especially as someone whose ideal gift this year would be a 1k€+ phone and while my parents never set a concrete budget, they do tell me if something is too expensive. This has one exception however, but I'll get to that later.
Third of all, I 100% agree with you on the "spend money on myself" part. As I grow older, I'm finding it much easier to just... buy stuff for myself, especially because I know what I want and communicating that to my parents can cause some problems and I may end up with something I don't want. Last month I spent around 150€ just on myself for something that could've easily been a Christmas gift, but now it's just something I bought. There is always the option to just ask for cash for Christmas, but that always seemed really boring to me, because half of the fun of gifts for me is unwrapping the gifts.
However, I have some solutions that I can give you:
The exception to budgeting I talked about concerns things I actually need, while wanting them. This year for example, my parents are willing to spend 600$+ on me, because I'm asking for a new laptop, which I will also need for school and university. It's something I want, but also something I need and so my parents are willing to spend a bit more. Maybe you could find something you need and also want and you could try to convince your parents to buy that for you.
An another option would be talking to your parents about partially paying for your gift. For example, if you want something worth 500$, your parents could agree to buy it for you, but you'll owe them 200$ that you'd pay off when you can. I technically have this agreement with my parents about my desktop PC, although they don't really enforce it monetarily, but in a "if you're good and willing to help we'll see that as you paying it off".
Also you shouldn't forget that Christmas isn't just about the gifts! I personally have seen a shift in myself for the last few years, where I stopped caring about the gifts that much and instead started caring much more about the beauty of decorated villages and cities, the atmosphere of Christmas markets and sometimes even stuff like Christmas trams (I mean look at these beauties)
Now I know that your relationship with your parents is... complicated at best. However, I know of a certain person named Ruby whose relationship with you is not complied at all, and I want you to imagine what Christmas with her would be like. Would there be less glamour? Probably yes. Would you have less expensive gifts for each other? Yeah probably. But overall, I believe that you spending time in her home cuddling to her under a blanket in a room with hastily put up Christmas lights and a fake Christmas tree with cheaper and smaller gifts underneath would 100% be enjoyable for you. Christmas is, at the end of the day, about people you love. So think about them and look forwards to times when you'll be with them.
Im speaking from a privileged position here so feel free to roast me into oblivion because “people have it worse” which i know and it makes me feel bad that I’m taking it for granted anyways
But yeah I’m kinda sick of Christmas because as ive gotten older my tastes are more expensive so any gifts i get are just meh and my parents are like “do you want one big gift or many small gifts you have a budget of 300 dollars and btw we make 130 an hour” so I’m just kinda like “i could just spend money on myself instead” its such a stupid thing to have looming over my head at all times but yet its still there. Do i want them to spend 300 dollars towards a poly d? Or do i want 300 dollars towards a taylor gs mini mahogany. Do i want them to spend 300 dollars towards stuff that ill forget about in 2 weeks and it wont matter in the first place. I dont know and im tired of it. I wish I didn’t have a budget for christmas at all and i didnt have to celebrate and i could just go about my life as it was before christmas time.
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kit's silly little hiatus
hey besties, don’t panic. it’s just for a little bit.
i’m facing like…a pretty busy next few....days? weeks?. with a lot of obligations and annoyances and things that meet in the middle. but some moments that promise to be really great too. and i think it’d be best for me, for y’all, for irl people, if i took a small break from tumblr to give everything the attention it deserves. i’m temporarily stepping up hours at work to save for a new laptop + i recently got a promotion with zero pay raise but basically i’m the singular task manager for over 200 people so that’s a big oof. i’ve got family and friends in and out of town starting soon, and the weather is supposed to get really, really nice really, really soon. and i absolutely love the sun.
so: cut to the point, what does this mean?
i figured i can probably guess some important faqs, so here’s my best shot:
This feels like a pretty serious announcement for something that’s supposed to be small.
i know. i figured it’s better safe than sorry. i get that when someone just stops posting for a bit, it’s easy to get worried. That’s the crux of internet friendships/internet people. sometimes you don’t know what happens to blogs and that is understandably worrying. i don’t want y’all to be worried. so even if it’s just the one person who would have noticed, i’m making a very long post about it. just in case.
People who take hiatuses never come back. Look at ao3 abandoned stories.
i understand the confusion. but i am not one direction.
Is this not fun anymore?
no, it absolutely is fun. it is so fun i have forgotten how to have other hobbies. last week i told my friend i couldn’t go to a concert with him because i was in for the night on tumblr.
When will you start your hiatus?
april 4th. i know, i’m jumping the gun on this """announcement""" a bit, but i also didn’t want to just spring this on you. i’m going to spend the rest of the week setting up a tiny queue (maybe) and answering asks/writing the tiny prompt fills i’ve been putting off since june 2021 (definitely).
When will you come back?
may 5th. it really will just be a month.
What are you going to do during your hiatus?
maybe start watching all those movies on my list that y’all have been telling me for like a year i need to see?
Most people can watch movies and have a tumblr/time for tumblr.
it’s a LONG list.
What are you seriously going to be doing?
i don’t know! isn’t that exciting?? maybe i’ll learn to parallel park. maybe i’ll finally buy another laptop. maybe i’ll get back into cooking, assuming i can budget well enough to do something nice. i know i’ll write. i can’t wait to write. i have one commission i will probably finish and post sometime during april because that’s an important commitment i won’t forget.
Will you keep your commissions open? Your ask box?
so. commissions, yes. i can’t…really afford anything else at the moment. as for my ask box, i don’t think so. i don’t want anyone who doesn’t catch this hiatus message to send me an ask and then think i’m ignoring them. it’d be better just to close it, so i think i will on april 4th.
You could just pin this hiatus message.
i could. i don’t want to. i think people think of blogs on hiatus as dead blogs, not worth the follow. and it’s so very vain of me, but i would like to think come may 5th, i’ll be just as worthy of a follow as i am now (which, you know. you decide what that worth is). but a pinned hiatus message? imo it scares people away.
So what happens now?
it’s march 30th. i’ve given myself five days ish to get everything set up, and in that time i’m just gonna be kit as normal. if you wanna send me an ask, please do! or a reply on a post! or a fic comment! i absolutely do not want to leave anyone hanging or waiting, and i absolutely don’t want you to…think i won’t miss you or this blog. it’s just a month because a month is all i can think i can do because i’ll miss y’all so much. but this is important i think. for me to do.
see you may fifth, bless 💙
#kit to kit#important kit posts#why am i using a tag i have never used before idk#anyway#kit's silly little hiatus#< that will be the tag i will use if you have an ask about this#i promise i love u 💙💙💙💙💙 like soooo much#i just need to figure out what else i love a lot? if that makes sense?#paired with the new time constraints and the ever present ever ahhhh money constraints#(i expect to do 50/55 hrs a week starting next week)#means for a bit i need to give something up#and it's this#FOR NOW#ill be so sad if everyone unfollows me/thinks im a dead blog tho tbh#and tbh knowing how sad i'll be is a good indication it might be time to take a step back#etc etc#anyway it's next monday i know it's wild i'm telling you now#but i've been thinking about this for a while#and i don't want to miss any of the kenobi show or the lead up to the kenobi show#but i also don't want to miss spring time#(though i still dont like room temperature outside weaather)#so#compromise
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Plans for the month of June.
I didn’t really map out my plans for May so it was kind of a hectic month for me. However, I survived and made it through stress free. So, here’s me mapping out my goals and by putting them on this blog, I will be holding myself accountable.
Goals for June:
Rebuild my wardrobe
Some ways I’m going to do that is by going through my wardrobe and getting rid of everything I don’t wear/doesn’t fit my dream image of myself. After that, I’ll slowly start buying things that do in fact fit the image that I want for her and how I want her to look. Another thing I’ve noticed about my wardrobe, is that it’s very limited which in turn cases it to be repetitive. The excuse I used to use was that the only time I got dressed was to go to work and I really didn’t care about the way I dressed because I wasn’t trying to impress anyone. I still don’t have any desire to try to impress anyone but, I feel great when I look good and I like when people notice.
Eat healthier (back to vegan/plant based)
Now one thing I’ve noticed is that I’m the type of person that will eat whatever I don’t have to cook. If its microwaveable, I’ll eat it. If everyone else is eating it, I’ll also eat it. When I was strictly vegan, I didn’t feel as bloated as I do when I eat meat, I lose weight easier, I’m much happier, and my overall health and appearance is much better. I want to get back to feeling like I was on top of the world even when I had a bare face. I also want to cook more and if I have a specific diet that I enjoy that I have to really watch what I eat with, I will definitely have to cook more. It’s super hard to find vegan food where I live anyway.
Workout more (hit the gym daily)
I need to get my body right. At my current weight and appearance, I’m unhappy. I could put on the cutest outfit but I just don’t like the way I look in it. It isn’t that I don’t think I can’t rock it, I definitely can, I just don’t like the current state of my body. I really stopped caring about how I treated my body and now I’m suffering the consequences. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t me speaking negatively about my body. I love my body, even with some extra rolls. This is me speaking negatively about the way I’ve treated my body. I need to do better.
Take more time for myself.
I don’t make enough time for loving myself or pampering myself. Like, I really cannot remember the last time I treated myself to an at home spa day. You know, face mask, bubble bath, good book, good wine kind of night. I need to pencil that in more often, even if it means that I have to request days off work.
Save more money/ be smarter with money.
I don’t know how to tell myself “no” when it comes to shopping and it usually end up with me spending way more than my budget. I love retail therapy as much as the next girl. However, we do need to be planning for the future and we do need to have a rainy day fund (just in case of any emergencies that may spring about). I do plan on going to school soon which may mean working less hours and I need to be prepared for that.
Skin care
My skin is so oily and its frustrating. Being mostly barefaced is all fun and games until I look in the mirror and I look like a glazed doughnut. Like seriously?! It’s not cute! And some days I don’t give myself enough time to do a full mattifying makeup look so I’m stuck looking greasy.
Learn Spanish
Learning Spanish is very beneficial career wise and because my boyfriend’s family mostly speaks Spanish. We’re also teaching my goddaughter Spanish and it would help her significantly if I could speak to her in Spanish. It would also make my boyfriend very happy. Though, the person who would benefit the most is me. I honestly love learning languages and before I decided on Spanish, I was teaching myself Korean.
Keep my room clean
I’ve honestly let my room go, honestly. Like I feel like my life is falling apart when it gets messy. I find peace in cleanliness and organization so I’v started the mont with a clean and decluttered room in hopes that I can keep it that way. Honestly, I don’t spend much time in here anymore so I’m hoping that makes it a bit easier.
Read more
I need to get back into reading books. I miss getting lost in the pages and adding new words to my vocabulary. I used to keep myself up late at night just really getting deep into a book and anticipating the next chapter or sequel when I set the book down to rest. It’s a beneficial hobby to possess for many reasons; you’re getting educated and you’re relieving stress. I don’t see anything wrong with that!
There’s so many more things that I want to do but those are my main focus items. This list is my “big picture” list. Things that’ll make a difference in a long run. I also have my minor details list but, they’re easily achievable and they’re also just daily habits I need to stick to.
#self care#glo up tips#glow up challenge#glow up journey#glow up threads#glow up tips#2021#2021 goals#glo up#black femininity
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The present tabletop RPG resurgence is great, but I can’t help but feel that a lot of the received wisdom that’s developing about how to run tabletop games is leading new GMs to make things harder for themselves than they needs to be.
Stuff like “I ignore 80% of the rulebook and constantly fudge dice rolls, that means I’m a strong independent GM with a clear vision for my game” -- like, yes, that may well be true, but that you’re having to do all that is a pretty clear sign that you’re using a wildly inappropriate system for the kind of game you want to run.
Basically, game rules are not unopinionated. Any game that claims to be universal is lying to you; yes, it’s true that a given set of rules can be reasonably setting neutral, but even the simplest rules bake in a huge number of very specific assumptions about how the game ought to be played. They have to, because that’s what rules do.
Of course, whenever the rules and the GM disagree about how the game ought to be played, the GM is going to win, but that’s not necessarily an argument you need to be having. To draw a parallel, it’s totally possible to start with the rules of soccer and gradually rewrite and pare away bits and pieces of it until you have miniature golf, but you’d have saved yourself a lot of headaches if you’d just started with miniature golf in the first place!
And the thing is, I don’t think most novice GMs are getting themselves into this position on purpose. A lot of folks seem to be getting misled -- sometimes by overzealous advocates of this or that popular system, and sometimes just by their own inexperience -- that there’s basically only one kind of tabletop RPG, and if the the game they want to play is anything other than that very specific game, it’s on them to figure it out from first principles.
Which just plain ain’t the case. Tabletop RPGs are a hugely diverse hobby, and whatever your perfect game is, there’s probably something very close to it out there already, no matter what it is you’re dissatisfied with. There are tabletop RPGs without dice, tabletop RPGs without GMs, and even tabletop RPGs without player characters -- and all of those are totally separate considerations from how complex the rules are. If your ideal game is a highly structured three-hundred-page tome about Regency era comedies of manners in the mode of Bronte and Austen? That game actually exists -- as do countless others.
(Plus, even if you prefer to hack your own systems, you can benefit from expanding your horizons and seeing how other people have approached the subjects you want to take on. As a game author myself, I’ve frequently found myself in the position of having spent weeks or months bashing my head against a particular piece of game design, only later to discover that some game I didn’t know existed had solved that problem thirty years ago!)
And just so nobody can say I’m being a grump without offering any constructive alternatives, there’s an annotated rec list of forty-odd free or pay-what-you-want tabletop RPGs under the cut. If you want to take my advice but have no budget for expanding your library, check any of these out!
Abnormal - A scene-structured body horror game about a human being slowly consumed by an alien parasite. Uses a mix of dice and print-and-play cards, and supports solo, co-op, and three-player modes, none of which require a GM.
Adventures of the Space Patrol - A self-proclaimed “retro cute” RPG about a group of rather goofy pre-generated heroes having G-rated adventures in space. Based on a modified version of Fate Accelerated Edition, discussed below.
Always/Never/Now - A game and campaign in one, this cyberpunk RPG is intended to be played with a pre-made cast of characters, much like Lady Blackbird, below -- in fact, the two are based on the same core system, though they take it in very different directions.
Among the Beautiful Creatures (warning: direct PDF link) - A game about a world that’s forever ending, populated by shape-shifting muppety things -- picture Jim Henson does Fritz Leiber and you’ll have the right idea. Content warning for child abuse in the opening fiction.
Archipelago - One of the few “Norwegian style” RPGs available in English, this one uses card-based prompts to guide improvisational freeform play. The price listed at the linked page is for a charitable donation; the free version is linked in the description.
All Outta Bubblegum (warning: direct PDF link) - A dumb-as-hell 80s action game that uses actual sticks of bubblegum to track your character’s emotional state; when you’re All Outta Bubblegum, things are about to get real. You don’t have to play drunk, but it helps!
Anima Prime - A narrative high-action title in the mode of RWBY or Final Fantasy XIII. Something of a tactical exercise, but it achieves it via linked dice pools that can be wagered and spent on various effects rather than through miniature figures on a grid.
Atomic Highway - A Mad Max inspired post-apoc game about people with big ugly cars struggling to survive in the wasteland. Can scale from entirely human drama to settings with anthropomorphic mutant animals and weird psychic powers.
Blowback - A low-rent superspy intrigue game inspired by media like Burn Notice (and, to a lesser extent, the original Bourne trilogy), this one’s rules focus mainly on your relationships with NPCs, and how far you can push those bonds in service to your goals before they break.
Danger Patrol - An unreleased playtest draft of an atomic-age sci fi game whose big idea is mix-and-match character creation where you literally staple two randomly drawn half-character-sheets together to get your Atomic Professor or Psychic Robot player character.
Dragonfly - Self-described as a cross between Pokémon and Starship Troopers, this one’s a military action game where soldiers capture and train giant bugs to serve as weapons platforms, flying mounts, and other battlefield roles.
Encounter Critical - Created as a parody of the tabletop roleplaying hobby’s early days, this is purportedly a “lost” sci-fi action game from 1978 (in reality published in 2004) that transparently draws from Star Trek: The Original Series and Star Wars: A New Hope. Almost playable!
Engine Heart - A rules-medium survival game about goofy little robots searching for meaning in a world where humanity has gone extinct. It’s been described as grimdark Wall-E, and while it can certainly be used to do that, it’s more tonally flexible than it might initially appear.
ERA - An epic fantasy game designed for a GM and one or two players, this one frames scenarios with a formal seven-scene structure that can pack an entire adventure into as little as an hour, once you get the hang of it.
Fate Accelerated Edition - Fate straddles the line between old-school “the GM says what happens” games and new-school shared narration games. There are dozens of versions out there; FAE is a good entry point, and a good primer for the more full-featured Fate Core.
Genius: The Transgression - A Chronicles of Darkness fan-game (i.e., using the same system as Vampire: The Requiem) where you play as mad scientists. The central theme could be described as “epistemological horror”, examining what it means to know things.
Hall of the Dwarven King - A solo logistics game that’s arguably more of a solitaire board game than a tabletop RPG, but I’m throwing it in because my post, my rules. It’s, well, it’s basically tabletop Dwarf Fortress. More playable than that makes it sound!
Henshin! - A super sentai (i.e., Power Rangers) themed game where a token economy based on “strong” moves (which cost tokens) and “weak” moves (which grant them) takes the usual place of dice. The link is to the original PWYW playset; a proper core rulebook is in development.
Honey Heist - A two-page RPG with a simple premise: 1. you are planning a complex Ocean’s Eleven style heist at a honey convention; and 2. you are a bear. No, not, like, an anthropomorphic talking bear; just a regular bear. Events proceed as expected.
Ironsworn - A Viking-inspired adventure/survival RPG that supports both guided play with a GM and GMless co-op play, the latter using a mix of shared responsibilities and random tables to let the players act as their own GM. Interesting use of printable cards for chargen, too.
Lady Blackbird - A resource-driven minigame built around a fixed scenario and pregenerated characters, concerning an exiled noblewoman-slash-sorcerer -- the eponymous Lady Blackbird -- travelling to meet her pirate lover in a spacefaring steampunk setting.
Lasers & Feelings - This Star Trek: The Original Series inspired romp is a microgame in the truest sense, managing to pack character creation, rules of play, a random scenario generator, and even an illustration into a single letter-size sheet of paper.
Mist-Robed Gate - A wuxia-themed game that replaces dice with the “knife ritual”, which involves a series of gestures culminating in stabbing each other’s character sheets with an actual knife. Playing on a surface you don’t mind getting holes in is recommended.
Motobushido - A playing-card-driven game about samurai motorcycle gangs where conflicts are decided less by strength or skill and more by how far you’re willing to push the boundaries of honour to win. Note that the pay-what-you-want version is available in ePub format only.
Mutant Future - One of two old-school D&D retroclones on this list, this one is basically Gamma World with the serial numbers filed off, which means gnarly mutant anthro animals getting up to shenanigans. Note that the free version does not include illustrations.
Mythender - A god-kicking game where everybody is basically Kratos from God of War. Highly structured; while the actual rules could be squeezed into a couple of pages, the interactions between them are complex. Most of the core rulebook consists of a guided tutorial.
Oculus v2 (warning: direct PDF link) - A solo guided writing exercise in tabletop RPG format, this one casts you in the role of a wizard magically scrying on your own player character. One of two similar games of the same title; the other doesn’t appear to be online at the moment.
Perfect Unrevised - A psychological horror game about heroic criminals in a steampunk dystopia that examines what taking the Victorian ethos to its logical conclusion actually implies. Uses a rotating scene structure where each player serves as a different player’s GM.
Poet Glorious - A game about heroic and doomed warriors where the conflict resolution rules play out essentially as a cross between the Prisoner’s Dilemma and a haiku poetry slam. Make sure your friends are cool with casual betrayal before playing!
Pokéthulhu - A parody game about capturing and training miniature Lovecraft beasties that actually does a better job of its source material than most serious attempts at a Pokémon RPG. Well suited for one-on-one play owning to its duelling-focused combat system.
Risus - One of the great-grandparents of the modern rules-light ethos, this comedy-themed game breaks down characters into a handful descriptive clichés that serve as both stats and hit points. The basic game is free; the supplement is not.
SCrawl - Short for “solo crawl”, this one is an old school kill-the-monsters-and-take-their-stuff dungeon crawler designed to be played by one player, no GM. Honestly not my cup of tea as far as solitaire gaming goes, but it’s very good at what it does.
Sea Dracula - I’m breaking my own rules here, as this one is neither free or pay-what-you-want, but it only costs a dollar. It’s about animal lawyers having courtroom battles that are resolved via dance-offs -- by which I mean the players must literally get up and dance!
The Shab-al-Hiri Roach - A competitive, GMless game of campus politics in a New England college town that’s been infested by a soul-eating telepathic cockroach from the dawn of time, whose commands are represented by print-and-play cards written in ancient Sumerian.
Stars Without Number - A space opera hack of original flavour (i.e., pre First Edition) Dungeons & Dragons. The free version is basically feature complete, though there’s a paid version that adds rules for transhuman tech, giant robots, and a few other bits and bobs.
The Storybrewers Free Game Library - A collection of six GMless minigames, some collaborative and some competitive, running the gamut from heroic archaeologists in the mode of The Mummy (1999) to Game of Thrones style dynastic backstabbery.
Sufficiently Advanced, Second Edition - A diceless transhuman space opera game where “sapient city” is a valid starting character concept. Maintains spotlight balance between baseline humans and unfathomable space gods using player facing plot-editing rules.
The Tragedy of GJ237b - Describing itself as “a role-playing game for no players”, this one is unplayable in the strictest sense of the word. A good conversation piece for the games-as-art crowd, though most of those conversations will be arguments over the definition of “game”.
Wisher, Theurgist, Fatalist - A sort of meta-RPG about the process of writing RPGs that, in practice, works something like a cross between a guided writing exercise and a nomic. Whether it’s playable (or even meant to be played) as written is a matter of some debate.
WitchCraft - One of the original contemporary urban fantasy RPGs. The rules -- an early iteration of the system that would later appear in games like Conspiracy X -- kind of show their age, but if you’re, like, a huge Mercedes Lackey fan, this game is written especially for you.
Wizards - A game with a straightforward premise: you and your friends are a. nigh-omnipotent wizards, and b. just awful, like seriously the worst. A simple shared-narration game where most of the fun comes from getting to describe the consequences of your fellow players’ mistakes.
Wushu - A high-action martial arts game that strips the rules about as bare as you possibly can and still have something that qualifies as a “game”. The PDF version will set you back a few bucks, but the web version is free to read.
Young At Heart - Now here’s a specialised piece of work: a 1990s style sports drama oneshot game whose central conceit is that each session is framed as a series of flashbacks that occur entirely within the span of a retiring baseball player’s final pitch.
#gaming#tabletop roleplaying#tabletop rpgs#tabletop rpg recommendations#game design#violence mention#death mention#body horror mention#insects mention#alcohol mention#child abuse mention#swearing
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I love your art, it is very detailed in a neat way. Was wondering how you got started making it as a source of income? How did you get your first paid work, I'd love some advice on how to get started, if that's ok
Thank you. Of course it's okay, although I doubt I have enough work experience in art to really delve into this. I only went full freelance this year, and had been juggling art as a side hobby until then. If you're still interested in my somewhat narrow perspective, and are okay with my long-winded rambles, I'll give it a shot:
So to answer your question fully, I'll describe how I started and move into personal advice and learnings later on. As a disclaimer, I am a white cishet dude in my late twenties with a moderate cocktail of mental illnesses, but overall I can pass for a functioning adult so a lot I have to say may come laced with privilege I cannot fully identify.
So uhh I began drawing in around 2012? I think? Maybe halfway through 2011? And I mostly made fanart for things I enjoyed and tried to branch out in communities that felt nourishing to my style and interests (I caught a bug for alt posters and enjoyed mainstream movies so I spent a long time on posterspy early on). There were a handful of opportunities that came from there but I could only accept a couple because of primary workplace commitments. Still, it showed that networking in a focused community was definitely a good place to start; I myself have huge trouble committing to social networks and really staying socially active, but I knew it was an essential ingredient in succeeding so I tried to make myself be involved in challenges and art support trains etc. as much as I could.
In parallel to all that I also ran a few third party online stores (redbubble, teepublic) for disposable income and would sometimes, if rarely, hit around $100-150 a month from those sources combined. It is a sort of thing that requires helper accounts on other social media sites to promote it on, because the stores themselves have a huge volume of content that translates into low organic discoverability. Obviously it was never gonna be the way towards financial independence through art, and with community projects being few and far between, I opened private commissions in around uhhh 2017 I think, focusing on offering a few styles I knew I could do well, and sometimes operating in individual fandoms (it was mostly a bioware thing to be frank). But I had to close them back down after a year or so, again because of work-life conflict and how badly it was burning me out. The reason I kept trying to monetize this hobby is because I honestly hated what I did for my main job and wanted to see a way out in some shape or form in the future.
And then in 2020 I had to quit my main job altogether because of *gestures at pandemic* and deal with a mental breakdown from all the wonderful things it did to us and me specifically. I took a short break and decided to give art a shot full-time, and that was around May this year. I was planning on opening up commissions again (and I still am), but a few sudden opportunities that fell in my lap moved that timetable down and now I'm grateful to even be doing something I am getting adequately paid for.
So, with that somewhat limited perspective, here's what I've learned that I'd tell myself if I was just starting out:
1. Being a fan of something can be a shortcut towards effective networking kickoffs. Which are important evidently. If you love something and enjoy making content for it, join communities, settle into a combination of social media websites that feel right for those interests + your body of work + your inner rhythm, and try to play to content discovery as much as your mental health allows you to. Like I said, I know that I myself am incredibly bad at self-motivating to talk to people, so I found that synergizing common interests into fanart - which I enjoyed making anyway - could be a way to give myself a gentle nudge forward and build those bridges leading to community activities, which then net experience and coverage. Sometimes even freelance projects from official avenues. Again; picking the right spaces for what you're after is key. Companies roam twitter, concept art recruiters scour artstation or linkedin etc, instagram can land you private commissions and collab opportunities, so on and so forth. Find your niche and try to kick up dust. However...
2. I do not believe that any social profile can replace a good portfolio. The thing that made an immediate difference to me this year was building a coherent, simple website with my best work front and center and a contact form on top. Every single opportunity I got came from that form (maybe via twitter or instagram initially, but always sealing the decision after going through the website), so I firmly believe that showcasing your skills and portfolio in a visually arresting and user-friendly way is a big priority. I had some reservations about tackling that task but fortunately I had help from a savvy life partner and we slapped it together via wordpress in less than a day. Twitter/whatever social media is prevalent in your target groups is definitely important to get the right eyes on your shit, yes, but those eyes will then look for a second stop where your work and rates are more clear and concise. Simplicity is key imo, I cannot overstate this. So make a cute, simple portfolio!
3. Your skills and rates will grow and change as you do. Let them. Over the years I built several lasting professional relationships from my obsession over mass effect and kept getting opportunities both from bioware and their partner companies, some small and some a bit bigger. A one-off job earlier this year opened an unexpected door to another much larger commitment, and then the work I did there brought some attention from small businesses looking for commercial commissions. These were all incredibly different projects in terms of scope and budget, and I've been tackling them all on a case-by-case basis and slowly coming into my own irt my needs, rates, and SOW thresholds. It is still a work in progress (and a LOT of literal work as well), and very much a thing I struggle with in publicly marketing, which is why I felt a tad underqualified to answer your question in the first place (obviously I did not let that stop me). But what it means for me now is that I am rapidly developing into whatever my "version" of a functioning freelance artist is, and when the conditions for that guy are met, I need to be able to confidently plant myself and operate from that space despite past precedents. Do not let anyone bully you into downpricing what you yourself perceive as legitimate products of personal growth and development. Speaking of which...
4. The shitty challenge of turning envy into inspiration, and paddling outside your comfort zones in full riot gear. it is hard, but realizing that being a miserable, self-hating artist in my early days got me nothing but more misery back was the first real step I took and what truly blew the hinges off. I was just not pleasant to be around, I would badmouth my work all the time, and it all somehow made sense in my broken mind because the validation I sought was purely external and the way I sought it was through eliciting sympathy via self-victimization (even when I made something objectively nice). It all led fucking nowhere. Except perhaps to my own narcissism that I one day managed to identify and start managing. So I started looking at things that made me seethe with envy and calmly deconstruct and figure out their inner workings instead, do studies, and find nuggets of inspiration or discover new ways to approach rendering or building up specific elements. It was an application of analytical diligence to what I wanted to be a purely emotional, esoteric workflow, but that I deep down knew wasn't. Art is a discipline and a skill, and maybe it isn't a straight line, but you gotta find some line to thread nevertheless. Being self-hating was almost an identity I had to break out of, and despite it still being like, 4-5% there? I realize its cause and effect on me, my work, and those around me, so it is with a conscious choice that I gently set it aside when I work and especially when I learn. It won't always stay quiet, but the effort is the difference. Your doors towards accepting true growth and venturing into uncharted territories, art styles, and networking will really open from there. But there's a huge caveat...
5. Toolsets, accessibility, privilege, and all the good things that enable artistic expression and profitability are not given equal to all. you might do all the mental work I mentioned to be ready to rock and roll and learn and draw your way out of anything, but digital art is a fucking money pit that asks almost too much at times. I don't got a good case study here but identifying and ensuring accessibility to the tools you need to do your best work is, like, super important. The ergonomics can improve as you make money and settle into the job, but the basics have to be made available to you. And some of that might not even be under your direct control. That can be anything from pen tablets to software subscriptions to opportunities in hiring sullied by sexism or what have you. You gotta navigate all that through careful networking and money/time management. I don't do a good job of devoting specific slices of time to work/study, and my primary clutch is iPad software which went from a good deal to a nightmare scenario over the years. So all I can say here is do what I didn't; network, invest in a PC/tablet, and pick a software you'll learn that won't burn a hole in your pocket.
6. Be nice to work with? This one is hard to articulate and has landed my own ass in hot water in my early years because of how socially inept I am, but nothing is more worthwhile than being.. like. a good person to work with. That can be anything like meeting deadlines, or sometimes missing them but eloquently articulating why, being generous in early stages, being communicable and not too wordy in your emails, having a good grasp on abstract artistic concepts and how to describe them in simple terms, having a clear, laid out framework of your working rates in commercial and non-commercial projects and sticking to those guns with grace, understanding when you need to say no and saying it well, the works. Just being nice. Sometimes that might mean going headstrong with something you believe in, or simmering down and sucking up to the big man, all relative and adaptive. Part and parcel of the service provision dance that we all have to do in order to make bank. Know your lines here, obviously, and don't like. work for nazis. or uh.. *shudders* exposure. but be nice and empathetic and communicable and word will travel eventually. Skill may be in abundance these days, but good people are most certainly not, and capitalism has a way of bubbling up scarcity. Grim, but uh, them's the breaks.
I know I'm ultimately telling you to like. Have a body of work, make a portfolio, grow, and network. But that's really how I see it for now. And being nice can be a cherry on top that sets you apart, along with the inherent irreplaceable voice of your artwork. I think I rambled on enough, but if there is something specific you need my help with, even if you want to come off anon and talk in private, please feel free.
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Askplosion #12 1/4:
.:Asks Referring to Previous Miraculous Posts:.
Anonymous said:
I think that story with Delmar, Sabrina and Alya is only type of Alya demonization you accept.
(the post this anon is referring to)
Absolutely.
I also accept “demonization” for like--comedic purposes. For example, if they had Alya be all in on the love square and all no Marinette you’re not allowed to give up on Adrien if it’s Lukanette endgame and Alya’s (and possibly the rest of the girl squad) “demonization” is for the sake of their dramatic reactions to the mere idea that Marinette would be both not into Adrien anymore and also into someone else.
I just think the idea of turning things on its head by making the people around Marinette the subject of jokes instead of it being Marinette herself.
Anonymous said:
Alya going "Need Some Help?" reminds me of Karma and Nagisa from Assassination Classroom(I said it right this time!). Obviously Alya is Karma and Sabrina is Nagisa(and now Karma's jazzy motif is playing in my head). And Delmar is probably(and by probably I mean almost fucking definitely) Kayano. For real though, I didn't even know Delmar's name until I read that ask/response now. I mean, like, that's how forgettable and underutilized he was. And no, Ms. Bustier isn't worthy of being Koro-sensei.
(the post this anon is referring to)
Still not familiar with Assassination Classroom so I will let the other anons who are familiar with the series silently judge for themselves. ;P
As for Delmar, don’t feel bad; his name actually isn’t mentioned in the special to my knowledge, and it was a tweet that confirmed his name.
Anonymous said:
Oh yeah, the "Astruc gets hit with a washboard" was SUPPOSED to be a shout-out to Koro-Sensei Quest, in which Karma gets hit with a washboard(don't ask where it came from or where they go when they hit the ground, the world may never know) every time he acts like a smug-ass little bitch. You know, like Astruc. Often, the washboard will ricochet off his head and hit a red button, which then opens up a pit which Karma then falls in. In other words, Karma getting Karma! If only Astruc could too.
(the post this anon is referring to)
khfjdgdg ahhh, yeah, thanks for explaining! I’ve always said that I’m not very media-savvy so sometimes I don’t know about more popular shows.
Anonymous said:
Eventually Salty Decadent Court
(the post this anon is referring to)
lol we just slowly upgrade our way through the salt ranks
Anonymous said:
I was thinking about your edit of Desperada, and how I would definitely love to edit the ATLA finale to cut out Kat/aang and Mai/ko stuff lol.
(the post this anon is referring to)
Oh yeah, that’d be amazing! I imagine it’d be difficult, but not impossible. Sometimes it might be better to sacrifice good shots or move scenes around for the sake of making things cohesive.
Anonymous said:
Kagami when adrien its back from NY: I'm sorry adrien, but I have feelings for two blueberries, we have to broke up
Adrien: eh? Broke up? We were dating?
(the post this anon is referring to)
I like how this ask doesn’t specify whether the joke is that Adrien might’ve just been way too “friendly” with Kagami and gave her the impression that they were dating, or a joke on the fact that the show itself doesn’t specify that they’re dating, or both.
A+ 10/10
Anonymous said:
If Adrien does get akumatised because of jealousy about Marinette, I hope someone (Kagami would be great) points out that Marinette was never akumatised for that reason even though she had waaay more scenarios that could have turned out that way. So don't blame yourself, Marinette!! (I also hope Kagami yells at anyone else *cough*Alya*cough* who tries to blame Marinette.
(the “Didn’t Need Burrow” that this anon is referring to)
We just want someone unambiguously on Marinette’s side, is that too much to ask?
Anonymous said:
"It's difficult to animate" hasn't stopped others before (Lord Shen, the Phantom Thieves of Hearts, etc). You may do it as a hobby, but this are professionals who should have done more than the bare minimun.
(the post this anon is referring to)
I agree. I’m just trying to keep things like budget in mind. A bunch of free-flowing clothing is fine but I’m basically like--okay, but you don’t NEED the stuff that would hamper the budget to make things look good.
Anonymous said:
I don't know why, but I'm picturing Ladybug confronting Chat Noir after he gets back from New York like a mother scolding her teenage daughter for sneaking out at night.
(the post this anon is referring to)
Honestly? Accurate.
Anonymous said:
Clara Nightengale: I sensed Marinette was in trouble, so I came to this school on the doub-- Jagged Stone: It's okay, I already got her.
(the post this anon is referring to)
jdhgdjkfgkjfg Jagged and Clara walking down the street together all cool, Jagged still having Marinette slung over his shoulder, and everyone watching is just, “??????”
passivedecept said:
Honestly
After reading your last bit i feel cheated that Jagged isnt included more
But it may be better that he isnt like luka's dad.
Can you imagion?
Luka: dad. I like someone.
Jagged: who?
Luka: a real nice and talented girl name marinette and- who are you calling?
Jagged: penny because we need a place for your wedding STAT!
Because i firmly believe if jagged had a son who was dating marinette he would do everything to get mari as his daughter in law.
Okay that was it. Love every fic and small bit you make. And i was wondering if you had your own fav. Like. What have your written so far that you like the best yourself?
(the post this anon is referring to)
Do you mean it’d be better because love square is endgame so it’d be messy? Because otherwise, not gonna lie, Jagged meddling and being super supportive sounds fun. :P I’m not here for love square meddling but Lukanette meddling is cute because both parties would be mutually aware of it and also be into it.
As for my favorite fic I’ve written? That’s probably too tough to answer, ahaha. For sure, it’s something Lukanette-based, but I know that doesn’t narrow it down much at all. It would also probably be one of my fix-its/canon divergences because I’m crazy for multiverse/alternate timeline stuff (I hate time travel, but I’m all about multiverse, I adore that stuff).
Anonymous said:
In one of your Didn't Need Burrow masterposts, when someone said that Marinette and Adrien had kids and a hamster who'll get Miraculouses, I somehow misread that as "the kids as well as the hamster itself will all get Miraculouses".
(the post this anon is referring to)
I’m sure at least one of my anons would snap back at that with a joke like, “well, with the standards set for who gets a miraculous, I wouldn’t be surprised.”
rogueinthedigitalworld said:
Would like to pop in for a second to say that yes, Maribat *did* start out as a spite ship, because the original creator was a heavy Adrien salter and wanted someone to replace him… and chose Damian Wayne, for some reason. Since then, Marinette has been shipped with all the Robins (and from I can tell, they’re all warped into actuallynice!Adrien with two gimmicks added from the *actual* characters). I’m pretty sure I’m forgetting something, but that’s the gist of it.
(the post this person is referring to)
Thank you for the response! Yeah, I didn’t know if it was like Spider-man and Ladybug - which I don’t think is a spite ship but I might be wrong - so I didn’t want to say that it was a spite ship without being sure (and obviously, some shippers of it could be just genuine shippers, who knows).
Anonymous said:
Okay, but seriously, when I first joined the ml fandom I was so confused about the maribat. I'm not really a big fan of either romance or comics (except for sandman lol) so I kind of filtered them out but it's kind of an experience tbh. I'm pretty sure it started on tumblr though- everyone sites it as the ozmav au
(the post this person is referring to)
Thank you for the extra clarification, anon! Yeah, I have that ship blacklisted (so I don’t see it around) but not really out of hatred for it; I tend to blacklist names/people/ships that I’m either indifferent to or don’t like (I immediately blacklist people who write angst, people who cross tag, and people who do onesided-Lukanette and don’t tag it that, even if it’s just one offense; I don’t play games, lol, if anyone does something I don’t like, I filter it out because I filter everything).
Anonymous said:
Your images of Luka and Marinette kissing are so super kyute! What program do you use to render them?
(the post this person is referring to)
Thank you! I made them myself!
The program I use is MikuMikuDance, using an edited version of the shader “GreenerShader 1.14″
#other: askplosion#category: salt#special: Miraculous New York#relationship: alya cesaire & sabrina raincomprix#category: staff#category: me myself and i#category: trash#relationship: clara nightingale & jagged stone#relationship: jagged stone & luka couffaine#category: fandom
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Stash’s Chai Spice Black Tea
Welcome, to my first venture into content-writing on this blog - journal? Post?
I don’t really know what the kids are saying, and I don’t know that I ever really did, so let’s stick to blog, it’s nice and informal. I normally make a bit of fun about recipe blogs that start with a long rant of back-history, but it seems misinformed to not TRY to relate a bit of myself to what I’m writing, for the question of ‘why this’. For the well-intended record, let’s also start with ‘who am I’ - hello! My name is Kay. I’m a 23-year veteran of the internet (my twitter account is old enough to have a twitter account!), and a 33-year veteran of living, with a variety of hobbies and interests in the creative and the fictional.
I got interested in the rituals of coffee around four to five years ago, but fell out of habit with it in 2019 due to digestive health issues. I was in the middle of a lot, then, and started to research and self-diagnose myself reading up on the symptoms and behavior of those with ADHD, under the purview of habits I noticed, and the relationship to my post-caffeinated self’s improvement. I still consumed a lot of energy drinks, sodas and teas to get my caffeine content, but it wouldn’t be until just this year, this month, March 2021, that I would get my answers.
I DO have the inattentive-type of attention-deficit hyperactive disorder. That is why, most likely, I am somebody who definitely benefits from a healthy relationship with caffeine. Someday, I may even be someone who benefits from a healthy relationship with a psychiatrist and/or therapist, and is on a proper medication for it, but, for now, caffeine is my go-to drug.
And let’s be honest: caffeine is a drug! And I’m NOT a doctor. Take use of it seriously. This isn’t my place to glorify abuse of over-the-counter substances. Just to talk about the habits I uptake, and share how I enjoy it, to maybe help others, and how I make it a fun habit for me, to stay attentive to what I’m doing and enjoy my experiences of reality.
I hope that wasn’t too much to get through - and if you skipped ahead to the next bit because you just wanted to know it and nothing about me? I don’t blame you.
Today’s drink!
Stash’s Chai Spice Black Tea
With black teas, by the way, you normally have 47mg of caffeine per tea bag. Thank you, Google - please don’t laugh at my search histories.
An aside - what we’re really talking about with “chai” is “masala”. “Chai” just means tea!
My preparation:
Two teabags
Temperature-safe mug
Two big spoonfuls of sugar
A splash of milk
Steeped for just under 5 minutes.
Most black teas say “3-5” minutes, and I enjoy a strong-tasting tea, so that’s my personal process. There’s a particular flavor of tannins on most black teas that I think the spiced flavor cuts, even if I have steadily added less and less sugar into how I drink it.
I am not INCREDIBLY indulgent with my regular tea buys. I just have a stovetop kettle, and mostly use bagged teas for convenience, because too much to clean up after and sometimes I lose track of it if I just want my fix, which is honestly, a shame on ME. One day when I have a lot of disposable income, I would love to try one of the traditional masala chai recipes out there for the thrill.
As it stands, on my CURRENT budget; I buy a lot of Bigelow brand teas, usually, but after not being able to find a flavor that REALLY appealed to me in its brand a while back, I bought a few of Stash’s, and I think they actually have the most appealing FLAVORED teas I had. Tea is the least jittery caffeine intake I indulge in that I still feel. Another bonus of the clean flavor, both on Stash and on the spice of the tea itself, is that it doesn’t feel like it leaves as bitter an after-taste that most plain black tea has.
Which is not to say that I don’t enjoy a good black tea without flavor - there’s something pleasantly floral about it once you adapt to it that’s “delightfully complex”, as it were. My other masala tea comparisons do mostly come from Bigelow, specifically, their Vanilla Chai. Memories of that one are from before I grew unhinged, steeping for longer, throwing in extra tea bags, so on and so forth, but I remember its flavor being less bold. Stash’s Chai Spice DEFINITELY feels like it has a more robust flavor, with cinnamon being the strongest note I am able to pick out.
About halfway through the drink is when I see myself start to bring my work into focus, and once it’s finished, I’m usually set on being able to hit finer details of whatever I was working on.
The most strong hold of tea, or coffee, and its ritual, is also the concept of its power to make you sit, and finish it. If I have nothing pinning me to my workspace, I’m more likely to wander. But, PARTICULARLY with a fresh hot cup on my desk that I want to enjoy before it cools, I feel alert, compelled to focus with my leaf water.
A special note - when I first started drinking tea and talking about it when I was younger, a rando on the internet felt it necessary to inform me that I wasn’t drinking it right. Logically, I know now that person probably has a really unpleasant personality and younger-me shouldn’t have been so upset, but I want to state for anyone else who’s trying to enjoy a fun new beverage: all that matters is if it makes YOU happy.
And if what you’re doing doesn’t harm anyone? Go ahead; try something weird. Maybe next time, I’ll dabble more into the weirder, cursed side of my snack interests, and we can encourage each other.
This will definitely not be my last time talking about tea, much less Stash, though there are a lot of other fun tea sources I’d love to talk about, and maybe, you’ll enjoy reading about.
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How to Save Up Money for Travel
One of the biggest obstacles keeping people from traveling to their dream destinations is not having enough money. You can learn plenty of tips to significantly lower the costs, but the reality is that travel is still not a cheap endeavor. Getting your finances in order is the only solution to reaching that goal of traveling every year. There are some concrete principles which need to be followed in order to put you on the path to your ultimate travel goals. The good news here is that these principles are not specific to only your travel budget but they can be used for every aspect of your life. You will have to put in the work, but you will be reaping the benefits of it for years to come, complete with being able to call yourself a world traveler!
Get started in financial literacy
For any area of life in which you want to make improvements, learning the important information is key. Here you will find many of the core principles of budgeting and personal finance, but do not stop there. I fully encourage you to explore the wealth of knowledge freely available in blogs, podcasts, and videos. For our purposes, we highlight some of the basic actions to be taken so that you can start saving money for the purposes of travel.
Pay off high interest debt
The very first thing every person should do no matter what their travel goals are is to assess their debt. If you are buried in debt, your priority should not be traveling anyway until you are free from that burden. A good rule of thumb is to make a plan to pay off any debt above 5% interest. If you have any extra money at all after your expenses it should be put towards this debt. Mathematically, you should try to pay off the highest interest debt first because that will save you the most money. However, we are humans and it can be very unmotivating to try to pay off that debt if it is a large number. The most important thing is getting the debt paid off, not necessarily the order, so a popular tool people use is called the snowball method. With this method, you will pay the smallest balance first. For instance if you have $20,000 in student loans, a $2,000 personal loan and $1,000 in credit card debt, you would pay off the credit cards first. Once that debt is paid, whatever you were paying towards it gets added towards the next smallest debt, in this case the personal loan. You repeat that process until you are out of debt. Getting these small wins initially and seeing some results gives you motivation and will make it more likely that you will stick with it until you finally achieve freedom from debt.
Make a personal budget
It is true that “what gets measured gets fixed.” To find the weak points in your spending habits, you need to first figure out what you are spending your money on. This can be done very easily these days with free budgeting apps like Mint or with more in depth paid software like YNAB. However, if you want to go fully customized, you can just plug your numbers into a spreadsheet on Excel or Google Sheets. Simply take all of the money you earn in a month and subtract all the money you spend in that month and see what is left over. If you have a negative number at the bottom, you have a problem. Budgeting is not glamorous work, but understanding your own habits can be very powerful and honestly quite surprising. When I started budgeting one thing I believed about myself is that I didn’t eat out very often; hardly at all. Well, after 6 months of tracking all of my expenses, I realized that what I usually spent eating out was roughly double what I had initially estimated. I just had a short memory. Once you have your budget you should get a clear picture of where you may be able to cut some expenses and you can choose what is most important to you. One example that always seems to come up in personal finance is getting rid of your morning coffee run to save money. That can be beneficial if you are motivated to do it but what if you really love that morning coffee? The point is your budget will help you prioritize which areas of your spending are more important to you. To continue with my own example, once I saw what I was spending on eating out I still wasn’t really motivated to change anything AT FIRST. However, things took a drastic turn once I started putting savings into my budget for travel. Afterwards when I would think about stopping to get some Chipotle I would ask myself, “Would I rather get Chipotle right now, or would I rather eat at home and go to Peru this year?” Sometimes I would still get the Chipotle but overwhelmingly I started choosing my travel goals and spent almost nothing on eating out. Putting my goals in the budget made them very real and motivating for me.
Make a budget for your trip
Now that you have your monthly budget, you have to figure out what your savings goal will be in order to take your trip. This takes a lot of planning, but it can be a very rewarding process. Not only will you know how much money you need to reach your goal and how long that should take, but you will get to experience the trip twice: once while in the planning phase, and then again when you actually go there. Discovering the famous attractions and lesser known areas of a new destination can be very exciting and can help you keep your focus on why you are doing this. Find out what things you most want to do and then search for the deals around them for lodging and transportation. Add up all of those costs plus a little more for unforeseen expenses and you will have a number to set your goal. After that, it is just a matter of discipline and patience until you have saved enough and you can be on your trip!
Have an accountability partner
Anything that requires discipline and willpower is an easier process when you don’t have to do it alone. Have a friend or family member keep you accountable for sticking to your budget. If you plan to travel with friends, you can keep each other accountable and with this shared goal, it is much easier to stick to it until the end. Make sure you check in with each other at least once a week and you must be honest with each other. This is the only way you will learn and grow from mistakes made.
Ways to cut spending
One of the quickest ways to realize your financial goals is to cut any unnecessary spending. Once you start doing this, you will naturally start to prioritize what things are more important to you and what things you truly do not miss. Here are some common ways to cut spending:
Eating Out - Eating out can be an expensive hobby. It is also easy to fall into both from a social standpoint (all of your friends are going out) and from an energy standpoint (I don’t feel like cooking today). The thing is, this is simply not a necessity. Not only is cooking at home healthier for you, but it is going to save you a lot of money and helps you learn a valuable skill. If you are very busy and can’t cook all the time, buying ready-to-go meals at the grocery store is still cheaper than eating out.
Alcohol - This is another category that is not a necessity. Cutting out alcohol can also increase your health as well as your savings. Some people may want to cut it completely for the savings but even if you don’t want to cut it completely, budget to buy some alcohol for home. Don’t go to a bar where you will be paying for expensive drinks.
Coffee - Many people love their coffee. Still, if you want to save, consider making coffee at home rather than going to Starbucks or your local coffee shop. You will be spending pennies on the dollar.
Going to the movies - Going to the movies can be exciting, but more and more technology is letting us have just as good of an experience at home. Not to mention movie theater concessions have a ridiculously high mark up. Opt to make popcorn at home and enjoy a movie in the comfort of your own living room.
Going shopping - Most of us in the U.S. have more clothes than we need. In fact, many people have clothing hanging in their closets that has never been worn. Unless you absolutely need something like a new dress or new pants for a job interview, stop shopping retail.
Negotiating utilities and phone bills - Most people either don’t know or get complacent, but you can negotiate your bills! You should regularly be on the lookout for sales and promotions from your phone company, internet and tv providers, insurance providers, and more. Another good tactic is to switch providers of these services every so often because they will usually give some sort of discount to new customers. This is a great way to lower those bills that you pay every single month.
Ways to increase income and savings
Though this one can be harder to execute, it can also be the most effective. The easiest way to be able to save more money is simply by having more money in the first place. This is obviously much easier said than done but there are a few ways in which you can grow your dollars:
Ask for a raise - One of the quickest ways to get more money is to simply ask for it. Now this must be preceded by good work on your part, but many people could get at least a small pay bump just by asking for it. There are many helpful resources online on how to properly and effectively ask for a raise. If you get one, all of that money that you didn’t have before could be put toward your travel savings.
Avoid lifestyle inflation - Anytime that people do get a raise or get some unexpected income, they tend to adjust their habits to that new income level. However, if you are able to live just fine at your current income, then anything that you make on top of that should be put towards your savings. Do not succumb to lifestyle inflation just because it is easy. You know you can live on less. Do it and reap the benefits of more travel!
Start a side hustle - If you cannot get a raise or have already gotten one but still need more income, you can start something of your own to make money. If you enjoy woodworking, you can make furniture and knick knacks to sell. If you enjoy photography you can advertise to do pictures for people. If you don’t have a very flexible schedule but you have a car, drive Uber when you can. If you work hourly, see where you might be able to pick up an extra shift or two. There is technically no limit to what you can make into a side hustle. It is simply something that you do apart from your primary job that people will pay you for.
Save your tax return for your travel - When it comes time for you to receive your tax returns, plan to put it towards your next trip. If you have a good budget, your tax return isn’t needed in order to live anyway. Depending on the size of your tax return, that right there could fully fund your next adventure!
Open a high yield savings account - A quick and easy way to help your nest egg grow just a little faster is to put it in a high yield savings account. Most banks offer savings accounts that give less than a tenth of a percentage in interest. However, there are several online savings accounts like Ally Bank and CIT Bank that offer much higher interest rates up to 2%. This by no means will make you rich, but it is a good way to have the value of your money keep up with inflation.
Bottom Line
There are always ways to save up for the travel that you want to do. Once you understand how much your trip will cost, how much money you make each month, and how much money you spend each month, you can figure out exactly what you can save for your travel and how long it will take you. With a combination of increasing your income and slashing your spending, you will see positive results and before you know it, you will be on an airplane to your dream destination. Get out there and explore!
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It’s August 7th and unfortunately, things have gotten exponentially worse…. in the U.S. because the rest of the world has generally gotten their shit together.
As things continue to worsen and we wait for the ticking time bomb that is K-12 schools and universities opening for F2F instruction… prior to having a vaccine, there honestly doesn’t seem to be a real end in sight (unless I move to Canada, and I may or may not have been researching how to become a Canadian citizen).
Most of the time, I’m ok with this. I’m a big girl, I understand that life is hard, things happen, “it is what it is” (barf), but there are some days where the realization that I’ll be living through these Covid times indefinitely, truly knocks the wind out of me.
While I’m generally a home body, I do like the option of being able to leave my house. I miss being able to visit family and friends without worrying about infecting each other. I miss the gym, and coffee shops, and Marshall’s, and thrift stores. I could go on and on about what I miss, but I’ll spare you since I’m sure everyone has things they’re missing right now.
On these hard days, and throughout the pandemic in general, I’ve tried to find ways to feel somewhat “normal”, and luckily with the help of my therapist and suggestions from friends, I’ve felt ok most days and I don’t curl up and cry on the floor for hours on the hard days either (even though a good cry is always good for the soul).
So, I thought I’d share my tips.
Being a teacher and all, it’s in my nature.
1. Tip 1: Keep a loose schedule
In the beginning of the pandemic, I found that I was trying to just go with the flow. I didn’t have any sort of schedule and I quickly learning that everything just started to blend together, in a negative way. When you come from a structured life style, i.e. teaching classes, waking up, eating , working out, dissertating, etc. all at a set time, having no structure feels hard after a while! So, I created a very loose, very flexible schedule, as I found it gave me something to look forward to, while helping my life to feel more normal. For example, my days are generally: wake up around 7:30/8, listen to a podcast or two while eating, from 9 until 12 it’s open to what I want (maybe running, going for a walk, reading, cleaning, etc.). 12:30 is lunch followed by coffee and a dessert. 1-5 I try to complete some school/work related tasks. 5:30-6:30 I cook and have dinner. After dinner, we might go for another walk… or another dessert. I might dance to ratchet music for 20-30 minutes (also good for the soul, trust me), or I might do some things around the house. 9:30-11:30 I watch Netflix. So as you can see, it’s super loose, and the only things that are truly set are my meal times… otherwise I’d be eating constantly all day. The first month of covid, we spent about $600 on food….for two people…. and our budget is 250-300 a month #yikes. By having some things to look forward to though, it helps my days to run a bit smoother. But let’s be honest, we all know it’s the dessert after lunch that keeps me going LOL.
2. Tip 2: Find you hobby
Considering the way American culture and society is set up (insert side-eye here), our lives are often centered around work/school and other obligations, and we rarely have time to pursue other things. Therefore, I’ve tried to really take advantage of having to be home by incorporating some old hobbies back into my life, and even trying new ones. I’ve been flying through angsty Mangas and Animes and repurposing/revamping thrifted furniture/ people trash.
I even made a children’s book for my nephew centered around him and my sister!
I’m also trying to expand the inventories of bread I can make. I’m happily at a solid 1.5 different loaves. I say 1.5 because the second type only comes out well 50% of the time LOL.
There are so many things you can do such as an online cooking class, a Zoom paint-with-a twist, drawing, photography, running, gardening, learning a new language or skill, becoming an indoor plant mom, etc.
I am especially biased towards activities that involve moving the body. NUMEROUS studies (no I’m not looking them up/linking them b/c I do enough of that as an academic, so you can look up studies yourself!) have found that exercise helps with anxiety and depression (I can attest to this), with mental clarity and focus (I can also attest to this), it helps you sleep better, and it also helps with your immune system, blood pressure, and hormone regulation. My moods are always consistently better when I exercise vs. when I don’t. When I don’t I can become a crazy bish….
3. Tip 3: Take social media breaks
I do this and I have several friends who do this as well. Yes it is important to be connected and social media can facilitate that. However, it is extremely important to monitor/control what we consume. The world, especially the U.S. is NOT a pretty place right now. Our feeds are filled with Black men and women losing their lives to police, families being ripped apart due to Covid-related deaths, thousands of deaths in Lebanon, a humanitarian crisis in Yemen, and the list goes on and on. Taking breaks from constant exposure to that is crucial to maintaining our mental health. I know it’s easier said than done, and studies have shown that social media is a literal addition, but I find that it helps to set small goals, which can be done easily with i-phones. Simply set a limit to the amount of time you’re able to use social media apps (through the i-phone settings), and it will lock you out of the app once you reach that time limit.
4. Tip 4: The Calm app
I cannot express how in love I am with the Calm app. I believe it’s $70 a year but given that I use it everyday, that’s essentially .20 cents a day. Trust me, it’s wellll worth it. The app includes things like guided meditations, bedtime stories, daily mood check-ins, sound scapes, 7-days of gratitude, and help for anxiety, confidence, relationships, stress, emotions, etc. etc. TBH, you should have bought it when I said .20 cents a day! This app helped me through graduate school as I struggled with stress, anxiety, and sleep deprivation, and it continues to help me with those same things as I transition into a new work environment and of course, Covid.
Lastly, I’m not sure whether this is a tip or not due to its broadness but, if I’ve learned anything from all of this craziness, it’s to do things meaningfully and with intention. It’s soooo easy to agree to 1000 Zoom get-togethers when you’re not interacting with other humans, but it gets to a point where we’re just doing things to do them. Like social media. We scroll just because. We binge shop online (maybe just me…), we watch a million shows on Netflix, we eat ALL the cookies/make constant trips just because. Although it’s not easy, I try to be in tune with myself and my needs by being present, and asking myself WHY. Why are you going in the fridge again, Sherez? Are you hungry, or eating to eat? Why did you say yes to that Zoom hang out when you just spoke with that person two days ago (what could have possibly happened in two days during Covid LOL).
I do slip up, often, but I try my damn best. Trying helps me to make it through the hard days, and it makes the other days as close to normal as it’s gonna get, for now.
Any who, I hope this is able to help someone out there in the black void that is the internet.
Goodluck my friends! Sending back the love + light that I’ve received from so many of you. We’ll get through this, poco a poco, and we are in this together…… despite American society’s push for individualism (*cough, cough*).
Until the next one!
S.M.
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Surviving the pandemic hard days: Tips from me + the community It's August 7th and unfortunately, things have gotten exponentially worse.... in the U.S. because the rest of the world has generally gotten their shit together.
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Episode 35 Review: In Which Matt Calls Out Jean Paul
{ Not available on YouTube }
{ Synopses: Debby Graham | Bryan Gruszka }
{ Screencaps }
Welcome back to Maljardin, the beautiful tropical “paradise” that is, in reality, a deadly prison for the guests of Jean Paul Desmond and his demonic lookalike ancestor Jacques Eloi des Mondes. Tensions mount as more and more characters realize that the island’s multimillionaire owner god refuses to let them escape and pushes for a séance in order to contact his late wife. One, Reverend Matthew Dawson, ex-minister and current stalker of one Holly Marshall, has reached the breaking point and now dares challenge Jean Paul.
Now, I know that I briefly compared and contrasted Matt with Reverend Trask (specifically, the second Reverend Trask) from Dark Shadows in my Episode 10 review last year. There are a handful of similarities--including both running boarding schools of questionable ethics (which I forgot to list in that review)--but they remain characters with fundamentally different personalities at their cores. In spite of this, Matt does share one of the favorite hobbies of the men of the Trask family: YELLING in an exaggerated Mid-Atlantic accent in long and emotional speeches! That’s what happens for a good portion of the episode, and I can’t deny that I find this sort of soap opera shouting match highly entertaining.
We open with Jean Paul descending the Great Hall’s staircase while wearing the Blue Suit of Sexiness, which he will continue to wear for the next few episodes. He sees Matt staring at the portrait of THE DEVIL JACQUES ELOI DES MONDES and asks him if he’s “mesmerized by” him. (How could anyone not be, I wonder, before reminding myself that Matt is straight.)
“It seems everyone is, or at least the evil Raxl fears he’s spreading,” is the Reverend’s response.
“And you?”
“There is evil here, Mr. Desmond, but I don't believe in devils. I attribute it more realistically to a live, active human being.”
And then they exchange pissy faces to dramatic music.
I’ve noted before that I didn’t expect a minister like Matt (especially one who believes in other supernatural phenomena) to admit that he doesn’t believe in devils. Still, even if he did, that’s no guarantee that he would make a distinction between Jean Paul and Jacques or think anything of his sudden switches of personality beyond grief and/or mental illness.
The first shot of the glass-top table set up for the séance. Kind of odd that Jean Paul just happens to have a table with astrological symbols on it just lying around.
Just then, Raxl and Quito enter, and the former announces to Jean Paul, “It is foretold that the Conjure Woman one day will find death on Maljardin!” Jean Paul ignores this and tells Vangie (who also conveniently just entered) that she must hold the séance and he must speak to Erica.
Some Jean Paul crazy eyes. Shades of Gérard “Crazy Eyes” Berner, discussed in this entry.
“Master! In the Temple of the Serpent, the Conjure Woman was told that this séance must not take place! The spirits have spoken!” Raxl protests, but he ignores her. Remember, this is a man who announced three episodes ago that he is willing even to perform blood sacrifices to get his Erica back. He is crazy in love--literally. His obsession with Erica makes Matt’s decision to quit his ministry to stalk Holly seem sane.
“On Maljardin, only I speak!” Jean Paul declares, eyes wide and burning like the blue flames on a gas stove. He uses his “on this island, I am God” tone of voice, but sadly Jacques isn’t cheering him on this time. Speaking of Jacques, he immediately storms over to the portrait and shouts, “I must have contact with my darling!” as though he thinks that Jacques will willingly provide that. Oh, Jean Paul, my sweet summer child, if only you knew that he has no intention of resurrecting your dear, sweet Erica.
Alison arrives just in time to overhear him tell Matt that, as an “undesirable element that would ensure its failure,” he shouldn’t take part in the séance. He starts to ask Alison to join him, but then decides he would rather make a passive-aggressive comment about how Matt probably doesn’t believe in souls (WTF?), which triggers the following argument:
Jean Paul: "And the theologian, not because he believes in the soul, but because..." Matt: "Because he is tolerant, Mr. Desmond!" Jean Paul: "Tolerant of what? My madness, perhaps?" Matt: "I did not say that!" Jean Paul: "Are you prepared to face the dead?"
He tries to get Vangie to let him choose who will participate in the séance, but she refuses because she understands spiritualist matters better than he does. (Also, she can teleport to and from Maljardin, so it’s not like she’s trapped on the island like the other guests. This means that she can stand up to Jean Paul without the risk of him imprisoning her.)
Raxl brings up the missing notes about Erica. Alison demands to know how she knows about them, and she claims that she knows because of how often she and Dan discussed them. Raxl accuses Alison of trying to hide the notes in the cove (but why would she store them so far from the lab?). Matt has a point when he says the following line:
I am accused of pushing Holly Marshall down the stairs, Dan Forrest is accused of tampering with the cryonics capsule, Mrs. Marshall is accused of trying to kill her own daughter, and you are accused of concealing Dr. Menkin’s notes that might bring Erica Desmond to life again!...Now, a séance. Who knows what new accusations we will hear and against whom, and I wonder who will make them?
Raxl, Vangie, and Quito visit the temple to pray for the protection of everyone during the séance. This is probably the point where Tarasca would have appeared and vanished for the first time in the original draft, but we may never know for sure. Meanwhile, Jean Paul brags both to Jacques’ portrait and to my hysterical laughter that he is now in full control of himself. Sure, Jan Jean.
I really like this shot of Jean Paul with his arms outstretched in front of Jacques' portrait. Taken out of context, it looks like he’s trying to hug Jacques. "Caressing" evil, indeed.
Matt approaches the stairway to the crypt, but Jean Paul stops him. Matt then remembers that he threatened to kill anyone who trespassed into the crypt, which shocks Alison. “Does it upset you that I want to protect your sister’s return?” he asks her, and this triggers a second, much longer argument between Jean Paul and Matt. As usual with long conversations on this show, I will only include the highlights and summarize the rest.
It starts out with Matt repeating that everyone on Maljardin is Jean Paul’s prisoner. He accuses him of making them all suspect each other as a deliberate act of divide-and-conquer. I think that, in order for that to be true, it would require Jean Paul to be both omniscient and omnipotent, neither of which he is. (Even his hidden camera system only covers certain rooms.) Matt also accuses Raxl and Vangie of “seeking guidance for further accusations,” whatever the hell that means.
“Do you fear to face your judgment day?” Jean Paul asks him, which momentarily shuts him up. He stares at Jean Paul, stunned at the thinly-veiled threat.
Meanwhile in the temple, Raxl and Vangie decide who should and shouldn’t attend the séance. In short, neither Holly nor Dan should attend, but Quito should.
When Raxl asks if Jean Paul should attend, Vangie faints onto the temple floor!
When Matt recovers, he makes a whole list of over-the-top accusations against Jean Paul: "Hear me! Be a little god on your insane Island, manipulate our lives, play games with our reason! Be both judge and jailer! Yes, raise the dead, walk on water! That will be next. Crucify yourself, but remember, you, too, will be judged!"
Matt trying to look intimidating.
Jean Paul (thinking): “Please. When I said I was God on this island, I didn’t mean it in that way.”
You know, Jean Paul’s behavior this week reminds me of someone--and no, I’m not referring to whom you probably think I’m going to. I’m thinking instead of Jerry Layton, the show’s co-creator, producer, and “so-called production expert” who apparently shared some notable personality traits with early Jean Paul. According to the show’s floor director, Bob Wilson:
To be honest with you I always thought, and I’m not the only one who thought this, that the Jean Paul Desmond character was really Jerry Layton. Oh yes. He was mad. He was crazy. He would rant and rave about the simplest thing. And we would all stand around and wait until he did his little thing. And it was almost like an actor taking his lines and just running amok with them. I recall that--it was very easy to be intimidated by this character. I remember [technical producer André “Andy” Moujean] and I coming away from that dinner and saying to each other--What are we getting ourselves into?[1]
According to StrangeParadise.net, Layton insisted on running the show on next to no budget, which earned him the nickname “Mickey Mouse” among the production team. There’s a hilarious photo on there of Colin Fox with a Mickey Mouse pin pinned on one of Jean Paul’s dressing gowns and a mischievous smile on his face. There’s also this one in the website’s archive of the wall where John Pashley, one of the cameramen, wrote the comment “While my prose will not compare with Proust, thank f.....g Christ for Mickey Mouse.”[2] Notable examples of Layton’s mismanagement of the show include the lack of air conditioning in the studio while filming in August (as noted in this quote on Fox’s IMDb page) and the grueling schedule for the cast and crew, which Wilson also mentioned in his interview:
We all put in horrendous hours, not only in the production, but in getting the thing together. ... There were an awful lot of people who stayed [in Chelsea, at Crawley studios] overnight. I was not one of them, but I can remember the sound guys staying overnight, trying to meet deadlines, with their effects. I can remember the lighting guys staying overnight, trying to get the right look on a particular scene. [...] The bus would deliver, say, 25 people, and at night, maybe 17 would go back, because the other people were staying overnight to try to make deadlines.[3]
Despite these similarities, however, I doubt that Jean Paul is based on Jerry Layton. First, there is no evidence that Ian Martin actually ever visited the set, despite his position as headwriter. In fact, according to Wilson, he never did:
SRS: I was curious whether you ever met Ian Martin--he was the guy who wrote the first seven or eight weeks.
BW: I did not. To the best of my knowledge, I don’t believe--which is an unbelievable statement to make, but I’m pretty sure I’m right in saying this--I do not believe that any of the writers ever attended a production meeting, when we were at the studio. Now if Ian Martin was there, it would have been fleetingly, and he was the initial writer. The reason I’m even bringing this up is it was the bane of the actors’ existence that this didn’t happen. Many times they would say, “How can this guy continue writing [the show]--he hasn’t even been here to see, to get the feel of the set, of the ambience...”
SRS: He was writing it, but you were taping at that point well in advance of the broadcast--I see on this plan [of the set, which BW had] here, there’s a date--”August 11, ’69, programs number 2 and 3”--I’m taking from this that the original production of the actual show began in August of ’69. I don’t believe it began running on Canadian television until October of ’69.
BW: That would be correct.
SRS: So Mr. Martin is happily writing his scripts, but he’s not viewing any of the episodes... So he’s just spinning it off in his little room.
BW: Which was a sin, because we could feel the way it should have gone, we could feel where it could go--we weren’t writers, and when I say “we” I include cast and crew, because we were a family, we were very much a family. ... Had any one of the writers, Ian Martin or any one of the writers after that come out and even just spent some time, it would have paid so many dividends. As I say, I stand to be corrected, but to the best of my knowledge, that never took place.[4]
Second, such megalomaniacal types tend not to have a sense of humor regarding their own shortcomings. If Layton had even suspected that Jean Paul was supposed to represent him (assuming that he behaved as Wilson claims he did), I think that he would have insisted on changing his characterization earlier on. Most likely, Jean Paul’s characterization derives from the archetype of the Byronic lord of the manor, an extremely popular character trope in Gothic literature. Examples include Mr. Rochester from Jane Eyre, Nicholas van Ryn from Dragonwyck, and (eventually) Richard Morgan from Martin’s 1979 novel Shadow Over Seventh Heaven. Despite this, I have to wonder if, when the actors were rehearsing this script, they were thinking of Mickey Mouse and his own so-called production expertise and putting their feelings about him into it.
Some delicious Raxl scenery-chewing in the Not-So-Hidden Temple after Vangie faints. “It is the prophecy,” she recalls in reference to Vangie’s prediction that she will die on Maljardin. “MUST IT BE NOW?”
Returning to our recap, Alison tries to shut Matt up because “Jean Paul is under a strain,” but he won’t have it. He proceeds to criticize Jean Paul to his face, and one has to wonder if some of these lines reminded Dan MacDonald of Mickey Mouse:
Why is it that no one’s feelings are to be considered, only his? There is no one, it seems, in all the world that has ever suffered except Jean Paul Desmond! No one has ever lost a loved one, only Jean Paul Desmond and his unique sorrow for his beloved Erica!
Colin Fox doing some literal backacting.
Jean Paul getting pissy.
We wondered whether we had seen him change into another man, one man one moment, another man the next! Now we are seeing the real man…A man who ignores the suffering of others, who is indifferent to the pain he inflicts upon them, who is willing to imprison them for all their lives for the sake of an impossible experiment in bringing back the dead, in getting what he wants because he suffers, because he is willing to punish the whole world in order to get what he wants out of blind selfishness masquerading as strength, this selfish thing! So great is his love of himself, which he calls love for his dear Erica!
For the most part, he’s right about Jean Paul, save for the part about him being indifferent to others’ suffering. He’s indifferent to the detained guests’ wishes to escape the island, yes, but not to Alison’s mourning of her sister or Holly’s of her father. He just doesn’t want the tabloid press to find out about the cryonics situation and spread scandalous rumors (or, perhaps, a scandalous truth) about him and Erica. Matt thinks that the whole cryonics experiment is just as blasphemous and ridiculous as Jean Paul’s insistence that he is God on his island.
Jean Paul’s anger is so intense that it’s starting to mess up his shellacked hairdo.
Now it’s Jean Paul’s turn to fling accusations at him: "I did not pursue a young girl in the name of God and good works. I did not beset and harass a mere child out of a sick desire. And I did not strike the girl unseen and secretly fling her down the stairs because she knew, knew what you were!" A reminder: Holly is almost twenty-one, and yet Jean Paul refers to her as not just a child, but a young one. The way the characters keep talking about Holly like she’s seventeen is just baffling. Like I’ve said before, Matt’s attraction to Holly is already creepy enough without those kinds of implications, simply because of the former captor/former captive power dynamics involved.
Just after Jean Paul says that he is responsible for everyone on the island, Quito arrives, carrying Vangie. “Your responsibilities grow,” Matt tells him. “Now you have the soul [line flub for “blood?”] of Evangeline Abbott on your hands.” However, it turns out he spoke too soon, for Vangie soon recovers, albeit with a vision of death!
“Jean Paul, I saw death!” she says upon recovering. “The death I saw was not my own ending. A figure--it wasn’t clear.” And then she points to Jacques’ portrait and shouts, “That man! The Devil!”
This leads Alison to beg Jean Paul to cancel the séance. Jean Paul is surprised that "now the scientist believes in the devil." Jean Paul, being extremely stubborn, insists again on going through with the séance. But what unholy death and destruction will this séance wreak on Maljardin?
Jean Paul sitting down at the séance table during the credits.
Coming up next: The séance and a return to the YouTube episodes. (Am I the only one who’s been missing the ridiculous automatic captions? I hope not.) Shortly after that, the next part of my review of Shadow Over Seventh Heaven, which I would have posted before this one, but I was so much farther along with this one that I decided to post it first.
{<- Previous: Episode 34 || Next: Episode 36 ->}
Notes
[1] Bob Wilson, interview with S. R. Shutt, Ottawa, October 15, 2002. Wilson is also the one who called Layton the “so-called production expert,” which reminds me of David Benioff, the “so-called production expert” behind Game of Thrones whose mismanagement of that series is well-documented on the YouTube channel The Dragon Demands. In a sense, Benioff and Weiss wrote it like a soap opera, changing characterizations and “subverting expectations” at will with random plot twists--which is fine until you remember that they were running a high-budget adaptation of an unfinished book series.
[2] Another funny photo of the wall can be found here, On this one, someone dubbed the show “Canada’s own all-American T.V. series!” and used the Mark of Death (from a future storyline--not saying any more about it until later) as an unofficial logo.
[3] Wilson.
[4] Ibid.
#strange paradise#ian martin#maljardin arc#week 7#episode 35#review#accents#behindthescenes#the blue suit of sexiness#crazy eyes#dark shadows#game of thrones#jerry layton#lost episode summaries#the not so hidden voodoo temple#on this island i am god#passive aggressive jean paul#scenery chewing#sp and religion#tarasca#it's this blog's one year anniversary#one year of blogging about canada's own all-american tv series#thank the great serpent for mickey mouse
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Altared Perspective: The Baby Pagan’s Guide to Crystal Usage
Good afternoon, lovies!
With classes moved online, I’ve had much more time to reflect on and invest in my spiritual upkeep. (Procrastinating my homework has nothing to do with it, *gulp* I swear.) The aesthetics I’ve stumbled upon whilst browsing social media brought to my attention the unseemly clutter on my own home altar, and in the spirit of springtime, I organized the holy hades out of it. Going through the used and unused items that had been sitting on that table for months and months, I thought to myself, How could I have avoided making this mess in the first place?
For anyone else who may have an interest in the subject, I hope to provide some answers by creating a simple start-up guide to pagan rituals.
Before moving on, I’d like to clarify: I am not Wiccan. I have no qualms with Wicca, and I find the practice quite interesting, but my heart simply isn’t in it. That being said, practitioners of Wicca may also find this pagan post interesting.
1. Foundation and location.
Foundation: Before you begin, you’ll need a place to set up. There are many creative, unique options for getting started: tree stumps, wooden chests, family furniture passed down from generation to generation. If you’re a first-gen pagan on a budget, as I am, you can just as easily use any plain old table. And size doesn’t matter! Just as long as you can fit everything you need. My table is 2′ wide and 4′ long.
Location: When you have a surface picked out, you’ll of course need somewhere to put it. Most rituals are performed with the practitioner facing north, so if possible, set your altar against a northern wall of your home, preferably next to a window so that your items can soak up the natural light. If you’d rather it be outdoors, just be certain to protect your set-up from the elements (weather, animals, etc.).
2. Crystals and stones
Crystals are the fruits of the earth and the tears of the gods, and as such, each possesses different properties ranging from physical healing to good luck and safe travel. Even in just the short time that I’ve been using them, they have made a tremendous difference in my life. The catch is, there are so many that it can get to be overwhelming - so here’s a good way to start.
Begin with chakra crystals. They’re often sold in sets from $10-20, and their ROY G BIV color scheme makes them easy to navigate. Here's a brief description of each:
a. Red jasper
Red stones represent fire and amplify passion and drive. As a crystal of the day, red jasper means to go for exactly what you want and not to take ‘no’ for an answer.
b. Orange calcite
Orange stones represent physiological health, specifically intestinal and digestive health. As a crystal of the day, orange calcite is telling you to be careful what you ingest.
c. Gold tigers eye
Gold and yellow stones represent wealth and prosperity, and are used in many rituals to improve finances. As a crystal of the day, tigers eye promises a lucky bargain or a great deal - but proceed with caution.
d. Green aventurine
Green is the color of luck in all areas of life. As a crystal of the day, aventurine encourages you to take an extra risk - it’s far, far more likely to go well.
e. Blue sodalite
Blue stones, especially sodalite, promote wisdom and intellectual strength. As a crystal of the day, blue sodalite encourages you to gather all the facts before proceeding.
f. Amethyst
Purple stones represent peace - and amethyst is one of the queen mothers of crystals. As a crystal of the day, amethyst discourages conflict, especially at home. It’s also used to recharge and cleanse other crystals after frequent use or when passing from one person or place to another.
g. Clear quartz
The other queen mother of crystals, quartz is excellent for warding against harmful spirits and negative energy. As a crystal of the day, clear quartz tells you to stay optimistic.
EXTRA: Rose quartz
Rose quartz, like other pink crystals, amplifies the gentle, loving, nurturing nature in humans and animals. Pale pink combined with the powerful protection of quartz crystal, rose quartz is ideal when placed along window sills and other openings to the home.
3. Additional items
There are many parts to a pagan altar. To complete your set-up effectively, let’s go over a few of the other basics.
a. Candles
The color of a candle, when it matches the color of your crystal(s), amplifies the effects. Above is my rose quartz pendant soaking in the light of a bright pink candle, amplifying my sense of peace and affection towards my family and theirs towards me. Even on its own, an open flame above colored oils and waxes carries heavy significance.
b. Tablecloth or tile
Also called a pentacle, the most common of which is the famous pentagram, or five-pointed star. They’re usually 2′x2′, and placed in the center of the altar for performing of rituals and spells. Although the pentagram is popular, it’s not completely necessary - anything with spiritual significance will suffice: moon phase tapestries, Tarot cloths or tiles, astrological glyphs, and so on. My talisman is a tablecloth covering the entire surface of my altar, with a sun-and-moon circled by the heavenly bodies in the center. It makes for easy organization/placement of my items, too.
c. Chalice or bowl (or both)
While there are many Wiccan rituals involving use of a chalice, I like to use mine for crystal waters and elixirs. Some hear the word chalice and picture a luxurious, ornate cup befitting of the Messiah, but really, all you need is something that can hold liquid. I use translucent, reflective glass set atop a reflective plate so that the contents will better absorb the light.
d. Caldron
Most commonly used for burning incense and mixing potions. Incense can be used for blessings, rituals, and spells, but I most frequently use my caldron for burning sage (more on that later). PS: I bought both the above-mentioned items at the local Goodwill. There’s no need to bust your budget on your altar. :)
e. Dried herbs or plants.
Some pagans decorate their space with live plants, but I always end up killing mine, so I stick with the stuff that’s already supposed to be dead. Sage is my first choice because of its cleansing properties. (Be warned, though; it smells exactly like weed.)
f. Storage
It helps to keep a small chest, box, or lidded dish for storing your crystal and stones when you’re not using them. I also like to keep additional crystals in drawstring bags on a shelf for easy organization with small vials for elixirs.
4. Organize!
Now that you have all your items in order, it’s time to get set up!
Each of the four directions represents one of the four basic elements: North / Earth, South / Fire, West / Water, East / Air. Place a red candle facing south and a green candle opposite, and a blue candle west and a white or yellow candle opposite. Candle holders and displays are optional, just so long as you’re careful not to make a waxy mess.
The rest of the set-up is completely up to you!
As an example, here’s a complete image of mine:
In the dead-center is an amethyst for constant cleansing and rejuvenation of all other items; beneath it is clear quartz pointing inward. I switched my green candle with turquoise for an intellectual boost. Above the amethyst is a Celtic cross talisman, symbolic of my Irish-Celtic roots.
You might be thinking, Great, where am I gonna get all this crap? It’s surprising how affordable these things can be. I mentioned before that I bought my caldron, chalice, and bowl at Goodwill. I got a few of the candle holders at the thrift shop, a few at Target for $1-3, and the fancier ones at Hobby Lobby. Hobby Lobby is also where I buy most of my candles. (How ironic that a Christian-owned business has been supplying my pagan needs, eh?) The table is from Walmart, the tablecloth from Amazon. Altogether, the entirety of my altar cost maybe $100 over the course of a couple months.
A few last-ditch tips:
Avoid clutter.
If you’re not using it for rituals or spells, keep it off the altar.
Prioritize your items by importance.
And last but not least, if you have a cat, you will not be able to keep him/her off your table. Believe me, I’ve tried. Everything.
Anyway, I hope you found this post helpful and/or interesting, and I wish you all blessings and good fortune in your own spiritual journeys.
~ Gail
#pagan#paganism#pagan altar#altar#my altar#crystals#talisman#charms#amethyst#caldron#candles#chalice#dish#wicca#wiccan
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peachdoxie replied to your post “somewhere in my childhood family household late at night…. dad: you...”
monoinstrumentalists are just so frustrating, aren't they
(anyway I know it's because you're a huge NERD and your family wouldn't be able to handle your NERDINESS because there's so much of it)
I know we’re goofing around and it’s cracking me up, but I thought it’d be interesting to discuss how what you said is true. While I live in a musical enough family, I’m the only actively multi-instrumental player. There is a different culture and priority to them as single instrument players, versus me, a multi-instrumentalist.
For most of my family (even the casual players), the concept of purchasing and picking up a musical instrument is consistency and proficiency. I also want that. But I don’t “come across” that way with my musical activities; I may look flighty, undedicated, as I “bounce” seemingly from one instrument to another.
It can look like I’m picking up and dropping instruments (What became of that clarinet I took lessons for for four months, but haven’t performed on since high school?). Or, it can look like I’m never developing any performable skill in them (despite playing viola for nearly ten years, I still sound scratchy, and the only reason I performed on it in college is because the orchestra accepted ANYBODY who signed up). Or, it can look like I’m buying instruments simply to have more instruments (the first question my mom asked when I went to buy the ukulele was whether or not I’d play it). Like an amnesiac crow attracted to pretty trinkets, they might see me as getting excited about The Latest Thing and then forgetting about it a year later.
But see: that’s not what I’m investing in. Here’s how I actively work through playing multiple instruments:
Some instruments are more casual and some are more serious. I did get good enough at flute to be first chair in All-State Orchestra my senior year of high school. I continued playing flute in bands through the end of my Master’s degree. Hell, I played keys and flute in praise band for church this last month! While I’m not in a classical ensemble now, it’s not impossible to expect I could rejoin a community ensemble, or if I had some extra disposable income, return to private lessons.
The banjo, by the way, is my First Very Serious Musical Instrument Acquisition since I started playing viola almost ten years ago!!! I’m actively looking up ways I can get private lessons for this baby and Git GUD! I’m so excited. So this banjo investment is literally as serious as I can get.
Other instruments are never intended to be performance instruments, and when I nab them, I know that. I will invest my best time and attention to performance instruments that I want to be proficient/skilled in. But that doesn’t mean I neglect my “more casual” instruments. There are MANY ways in which all my instruments receive a lot of love.
First: I received my degree in Music Composition for a reason. The purpose of a Music Composer is to compose music, not be a hired performer. And the more instruments I have hands-on knowledge and experience with, the better I can compose for more instruments!
One point five: It is a VERY VERY fascinating experience to learn about all instruments out there. Whether or not I become amazing on them, I learn and experience so much by having on hand diverse music-making machines. It’s a world of difference between reading about an instrument and playing it. I gain endless enrichment by learning how these babies work. Sometimes I’m learning more about how an instrument ticks than how to be amazing on said instrument. You could say part of my music hobby is “learning how ALL music is played and performed”!
Second: Most paid music composition gigs I have are not for live performances. I’m contracted to produce tracks combining MIDI (computer synthesized music) and audio (recordings of real instruments being played). In general, if I can get good sound, audio is more appealing, expressive, and impressive than MIDI. Because I do not have the budget, time, and network to hire other people to perform my music, I can get more live instruments into my compositions by playing more instruments myself. My lack of professional performance-level skill can be worked around by how easy I make the part, how I splice audio files, how I mix the parts, etc. Ergo, it is always a net benefit when I have another instrument to my disposal, which goes back into the degree I went to school for, and comes out in every audio track I create.
Third: It’s fun. If I can fiddle around on an ocarina, it’s fun!!!!!!! If I can play HTTYD tunes on pennywhistle cosplaying Hiccup, it’s fun!!!!!
It’s true that, on occasion, some instruments are more keepsakes than playthings. But that’s rare, and I DO play all my instruments and don’t drop anyone. In general, the only time I get an instrument “to get an instrument” is because I have a souvenir tradition: every time I leave the country, I get myself a dictionary for an appropriate local language (to celebrate my Linguist side) and I get myself an instrument (to celebrate my Composer side). Thus far, I’ve only exercised this tradition on two trips. Getting meaningful, special souvenirs that I also might use for decades to come (even if rarely) is valid, yes?
Last, I want to point out that the majority of my musical instrument acquisitions have been dirt cheap. I think my first pennywhistle cost $3, I got it my junior year of high school, and I still play it. My recorder and two other pennywhistles were an unexpected gift from a high school teacher. I found a didgeridoo in Goodwill for $15 last year. Literally, instead of eating out for one dinner, I got an instrument. Not a bad investment! I’m not being flighty running from instrument to instrument; I’m seizing opportunity to have an extremely exciting life experience, something much longer lasting than one night eating out. I tend to haunt craigslist for radical deals. The banjo, because I’m planning on getting very serious on it, is a raaaaaare investment to get A Good Instrument (and I’m STILL using craigslist to get used to drop price).
For my family, in a mono-instrument mindset, lots of these motivations don’t exist. Buy a good starter instrument so you can learn it seriously, buy an upgrade instrument after you’ve graduated to an advanced playing state, spend a ton of time practicing, they get that. They don’t get “SHIT GOODWILL HAS A $15 DIDGERIDOO!!!!!” excitement. For them, it makes no sense to grab it.
So to my family, when I’m like “Oh hey I want a new instrument!” It becomes this “Ugh, again? Why not SPEND TIME and play the ones you have?!?!” Except it’s unspoken. No one’s mean. And what they show is the lightest tinge of exasperation or lack of understanding, no real mean judging or anything.
I’m not saying all people who play one instrument have the same perspective, but that’s how my fam goes!
So yeah. I live with a different set of values as a multi-instrumentalist.
But hell hahahahaha. Even for “mono-instrumental values”, my banjo goals are going to align well with their priorities. XD Dudes, I’m going to practice so hard on this baby. I’m going to shred it on the banjo. I’m going to be amazing. I’m going to be good enough to perform gigs if I can find some bluegrass buddies. I’m going to compose pieces on banjo and record them. I’m going to kick ass as a banjo badass.
I haven’t had a good music goal for years, honestly. Without the ability to afford private lessons for advanced flute or semi-advanced piano, without collegiate settings to keep me in the classical community, and without the emotional energy to invest in community ensembles, I’ve been cut off from musical performance goals. It’s felt stagnant and uninspiring. Picking up the banjo and working HARD on this thing is going to ignite a spark I’ve been missing for years. Life is more exciting and meaningful to me when I have an ambition, a trajectory, a goal. This is the start of a new bright life period for me, and I’m pulling so much hope and happiness into it.
I AM EXCITE!!!!
#peachdoxie#shit how the fuck did this get so long#I'm too lazy to reread and see if I can shorten it#ANYWAY YEAH MY THOUGHTS#that banjo business#music#long post#non-dragons#my life#reply#blabbing Haddock#sorry sorry sorry I hope I don't sound like I'm talking too much about myself#TL;DR it's the difference between trying to be a master of one versus being a basic jack of all trades understand what's BEHIND the instrmt#learning how an instrument ticks is just as valuable of a skill as being Performance Worthy on one#and like yeah#literally the banjo is a metaphor for the hope I have for my future#It's..... rejuvenating my life in so many ways#and I haven't felt this energized in YEARS
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Newt’s Goals for 2020
Learn to drive
Complete a portfolio of paintings good enough for a gallery
Make weightlifting a regular part of my life again - minimum of 3 30 min sessions per week
Make art a daily habit again - re-start my daily 10 min drawing practice
Make learning ONE language a daily habit again
Make yoga a daily habit again
Regain my passion for the allotment
Start eating breakfast smoothies again, so I am actually putting nutrients in on a proper schedule
Complete the allotment transformation project
Learn guitar
Learn some singing ability
Become comfortable enough to actually sing around the people I love
Tell Mike that I am, in fact, in love with him. Make sure he understands that doesn’t mean I want or need anything to change, as the arrangement we have suits me well
Tell at least one member of my family what really went down with me and my ex
Finish the House Repair tasks so nothing remains of the damage my ex did
Replace the carpet in at least one room of the house
Finish redecorating the house
Get better at doing housework consistently, even when depressed
Finish my current shawl WIPs
Make at least two GOOD items of clothing for myself
Learn flint-napping
De-bone and skin a thing, tan the hide and re-articulate the skeleton
Brew up a big batch of mead to sell
Start up my embroidery hobby again
Swim regularly in the sea when the weather permits
Explore and discover more of Folkestone
Start writing again
This is, obviously, too many things. I cannot do all of them at once. I will fall apart immediately.
But I can start some now, and add in others as and when I feel ready to do so. I am going to pick a few, and build some sustainable habits around them to make them happen.
Rules:
I must not pick more than 6 goals per Segment Of Year
I must build concrete, measurable targets
I must choose reasonable, achievable targets
I may choose to change the goals for a segment at any time
I may choose to alter the means by which I achieve the goals at any time
I must give myself permission to take rest, and to pick up little pieces of fun at my leisure outside of these
Newt’s Goals for 2020 - January & February
To be ticked off the list:
Driving
Weightlifting
Yoga
Breakfast
Art
Telling Family
Learn to Drive.
Schedule a set of 5 lessons with Jason, and attend them
Ask Mike to let me practice in his car when we’re hanging out
Discuss and budget for a plan of driving lessons and tests with Jason, to continue into later months
GOAL - by end of February, have completed 5 lessons with Jason
GOAL - by end of February, have a timeline for expected completion of task: Learn To Drive
Weight-Lifting and General Health.
Prep before bed Weeknights - breakfast smoothie, gym clothes/gym bag
Do daily in the morning - 10 minutes of simple yoga
Gym after work each weeknight - 30 minutes
GOAL - by end of February, be doing yoga every day consistently
GOAL - by end of February, be doing weight-lifting every weekday consistently
GOAL - by end of February, be eating breakfast every day consistently
Mental Wellbeing and Growth.
Do every weekday during lunch breaks - 10 minutes life-drawing speed-sketches
GOAL - by end of February, be doing art every day consistently
GOAL - when Uncle Pete visits in January, tell him what went down with Nick
I’m not going to arbitrarily wait until “the new year” to work on this. This starts now.
So.
Newt’s Tasks Today
Finish dishes
Sweep through bathroom/hall/kitchen
Find somewhere for binbags to go
Tidy bedroom
Put together work bag - work items, gym stuff, smoothie
Have a bath
Plan out a short yoga routine
Set alarm for tomorrow
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