caffeineandcurses

[caffeineandcurses]

Dutch Brothers Golden Eagle Mocha

Welcome back, to my second drink for the blog! Today we’re getting into some classic caffeine.

I got really curious about trying to enjoy coffee for a bit, back in 2015 or 2014. I started enjoying it, I bought a french press, I learned how salt could cut the bitter taste of coffee if you add it to the grounds, I experimented with creamers, milks, blond roasts, french roasts, flavored roasts, whole beans that you grind yourself so the coffee keeps fresher, cold brew concentrate...

I then, sadly, burnt out on it, half because my fixation passed, and at the time lived in a small kitchen where I was really bad at cleaning up after myself. After I moved up to Washington, I briefly got into getting fancy coffee from the increased number of fun places in my new home, before disaster drove me further away. My French Press broke, and after an intensifying battle with gallbladder disease, coffee was just too hard on my digestive system from about 2017-2021.

My gallbladder has been out now for almost two years, and after experimentally getting myself a coffee from one of the mentioned locales up here - namely Dutch Brothers - I can proudly say I survived with no ill side-effects, and coffee is back on my rotation.

Today’s Drink!

Dutch Brother's Golden Eagle Mocha

Part of the appeal of Dutch Brothers, to me, is learning all of the fancy flavoring names, and getting to order them. Sure, that may just mean it’s a reskin of proper coffee house jargon, but the forever child brain I have just has more fun saying “can I get a Golden Eagle Iced Mocha with whipped cream, please?” And what that translates to, from Dutch Brothers, means I am getting an iced espresso and chocolate milk drink, flavored with vanilla and caramel. I don’t know what DB’s claims on their beans are, but a shot of espresso has about 64mg of caffeine; if that’s too little, you can order additional shots in your drink.

My Customizations:

Medium, iced (gotta have it cold, and I like a bit extra to last me a while)

Mocha, not Breve (I learned that it's a bit less bitter, to me)

Whipped cream, or “soft top” as it is in Dutch lingo

There is a “proper” definition of a mocha coffee, but all it means here is that instead of a shot of espresso iced with half-and-half (breve), I am getting it in an iced-over glass of chocolate milk, which adds an extra flavor to the drink. Sometimes I also throw in getting an extra drizzle of caramel on top of the whipped cream, for kicks. As mentioned before, I find Breves from Dutch to be bitter, almost tasting a bit rubbery.

Hands-down, as of writing this, it is my favorite coffee. It’s probably WAY too sweet, for some, but for me it has the same pleasant qualities of Kettle Corn - you either like the mix of the little bit of salty and the sweet, or in this case the candy flavors and the coffee, or you find something that’s more one or the other.

But, I mean, to no one’s surprise...I’m 100% That Person.

Does anyone else feel a sort of “imposter syndrome” when you talk to “Real Coffee Enthusiasts”? You don’t have to out yourself, we can just exchange knowing looks. I get you.

My secret coffee shame is why I love the atmosphere of ordering at Dutch Brothers. It’s been made fun of, but the welcoming, friendly, earnest humanity of the Dutch Bros. workers no matter which location I go to is tremendous. They really just want to make your coffee the way you want to drink it, and most of their beverages are already overly sweet and Garbage Fire Tastebud-Friendly.

The obvious advantage, to buying a giant iced coffee that you can just sip at over an hour, is that you get the caffeine added in steadily, not all at once, which personally, makes me a lot less jittery and anxious. I also definitely understand a difference, in how I feel about Coffee versus Tea. Tea really does feel meditative, cozy, a quiet focuser, like I’m settling in to start writing a novel about hobbits. Even when I don’t feel a little bit of paranoia, there’s something about coffee that makes me sit up more and feel aggressive, like I’m about to take over a rival syndicate via airstrike as soon as I get The Briefcase. I feel ready.

I also have a definitely LOW threshold - Dutch Bros let you add an extra shot of espresso into your drink, which I tried more recently, and the effect was a coffee that made me act hyper, talk fast, be out of what I would label strictly as “my” personality. It's probably the closest thing I, personally, will experience to being on cocaine. I know better than to say "the closest thing I will experience to a hard drug" because no matter how we cutely dress up our societal acceptance of it, caffeine is a drug.

That will have to be a good self-help tip for me on how to handle caffeine; yes, it’s fuel, but if you throw all of it onto the fire at once, you’ll just get a huge explosion that causes a bunch of chaos that you can’t control, and then burn out; also, your fuel tank has a MAX CAPACITY for one (1) shot of espresso. Ration it more carefully, and you can keep burning longer.

Here’s hoping I remember it next time I get an energy drink that’s ACTUALLY fully sweet and way too palatable, instead of dunking it can and all into my stomach at inhuman speeds.

[caffeineandcurses]

Lester's Fixins Pickle Flavored soda

I noticed my last post was VERY unwieldy when viewed in full on a dashboard feed, so this time around, I am going to use a read-more break. I hope that's less interruptive! That said...

Have you ever seen something so terrible you absolutely HAD to linger upon it?

That was the case when, while picking up fancy popcorn, I began to take in all the different specialty items. I was very tempted by the many chili pepper candies that were there, but in my head it was hard to think of them as actually being any good. These were just here to be SPICY, as a laugh. They weren’t going to replace the spicy Starburst and hot Skittles that were on the shelves a few years ago.

And even so, there was no reason to be bitter about them being gone, as I could always hunt down a place to get Locochas.

You’ve probably already guessed from the title that this story isn’t about sweet-and-spicy fruit candies, though. There’s no good segway here. I had it pointed out to me that there was a pickle-flavored soda among their selection in a novelty-lined cooler.

I’m so horribly torn between really regretting buying it, but knowing that in the expression “fuck around and find out”, the time has come for me to find out.

Today’s...“Drink”...?

Lester’s Fixins Pickle Flavored Soda

There are thirteen flavors associated with Rocket Fizz’s Lester’s Fixins brands, and the only one I absolutely would not dare to drink (without a heavy amount of money on the table regardless of whether or not I manage to keep it all down) is Ranch Dressing soda.

They also have a few other brands not of Lester’s make, and I am I think most curious about an alien abduction-themed soda that is plum flavored. There is remarkably little information about this product on its nutritional label, except for the fact that it is 46-or-so grams of sugar.

My preparation:

Pop the cap

Pour some of it into a glass

Hope I survive

Upon opening the bottle and giving the bouquet a sniff, I can concur that it really does just smell like heavily sweetened pickle brine. However, it has the effervescent quality of a soda.

The other day, we got takeout from a burger place, and there was a curious mystery scrap on top of the cheeseburger my sister ordered. Without hesitation, I picked it up, sniffed it, was pretty sure it was something deeply fried, and ate it; and only THEN qualified it was a bit of bacon.

Today, I’m hesitating, and not sure if I should take a bite of a pickle first to remember what PICKLES taste like, or if I should experience Lester’s Fixins, which for the record, y’all have been encouraged to get. I now understand why Vizzini rambles for so long before taking on the Dread Pirate Roberts’ gambit, and with that said…

Bottoms up.

At best, when I take a sip of this soda, the SCENT of the pickle brine is there, but by the time I have the drink in my mouth, it’s far, FAR too sweet. If anything, the flavor I get is faintly...mint? Is my brain trying to translate anything it can from the green color of the soda into the lexicon of flavors my brain associated with that color?

Or is there some chemical used in their attempt to flavor this abomination that produces the same effect as menthol?

I don’t know what I was expecting, but I think I’m disappointed. I wouldn’t exactly be eager to try another one of these, as I think I can replicate the experience of this or any other of their flavor concepts, as that of taking a strong smell of a food, and then having a shot of sugar cane-flavored soda pop.

If you’re someone like me, and you can tolerate a lot of strange flavors and textural juxtaposition, chugging a bottle of it in a social situation may at least be a fun party trick. Personally, though, if given the option to try another one of Lester’s sodas, my reaction right now would only be to offer the party people my brief story.

“I had one of those, once. It was just okay.”

[caffeineandcurses]

Stash’s Chai Spice Black Tea

Welcome, to my first venture into content-writing on this blog - journal? Post? 

I don’t really know what the kids are saying, and I don’t know that I ever really did, so let’s stick to blog, it’s nice and informal. I normally make a bit of fun about recipe blogs that start with a long rant of back-history, but it seems misinformed to not TRY to relate a bit of myself to what I’m writing, for the question of ‘why this’. For the well-intended record, let’s also start with ‘who am I’ - hello! My name is Kay. I’m a 23-year veteran of the internet (my twitter account is old enough to have a twitter account!), and a 33-year veteran of living, with a variety of hobbies and interests in the creative and the fictional. 

I got interested in the rituals of coffee around four to five years ago, but fell out of habit with it in 2019 due to digestive health issues. I was in the middle of a lot, then, and started to research and self-diagnose myself reading up on the symptoms and behavior of those with ADHD, under the purview of habits I noticed, and the relationship to my post-caffeinated self’s improvement. I still consumed a lot of energy drinks, sodas and teas to get my caffeine content, but it wouldn’t be until just this year, this month, March 2021, that I would get my answers.

I DO have the inattentive-type of attention-deficit hyperactive disorder. That is why, most likely, I am somebody who definitely benefits from a healthy relationship with caffeine. Someday, I may even be someone who benefits from a healthy relationship with a psychiatrist and/or therapist, and is on a proper medication for it, but, for now, caffeine is my go-to drug.

And let’s be honest: caffeine is a drug! And I’m NOT a doctor. Take use of it seriously. This isn’t my place to glorify abuse of over-the-counter substances. Just to talk about the habits I uptake, and share how I enjoy it, to maybe help others, and how I make it a fun habit for me, to stay attentive to what I’m doing and enjoy my experiences of reality.

I hope that wasn’t too much to get through - and if you skipped ahead to the next bit because you just wanted to know it and nothing about me? I don’t blame you. 

Today’s drink!

Stash’s Chai Spice Black Tea

With black teas, by the way, you normally have 47mg of caffeine per tea bag. Thank you, Google - please don’t laugh at my search histories.

An aside - what we’re really talking about with “chai” is “masala”. “Chai” just means tea! 

My preparation:

Two teabags

Temperature-safe mug

Two big spoonfuls of sugar

A splash of milk

Steeped for just under 5 minutes.

Most black teas say “3-5” minutes, and I enjoy a strong-tasting tea, so that’s my personal process. There’s a particular flavor of tannins on most black teas that I think the spiced flavor cuts, even if I have steadily added less and less sugar into how I drink it. 

I am not INCREDIBLY indulgent with my regular tea buys. I just have a stovetop kettle, and mostly use bagged teas for convenience, because too much to clean up after and sometimes I lose track of it if I just want my fix, which is honestly, a shame on ME. One day when I have a lot of disposable income, I would love to try one of the traditional masala chai recipes out there for the thrill. 

As it stands, on my CURRENT budget; I buy a lot of Bigelow brand teas, usually, but after not being able to find a flavor that REALLY appealed to me in its brand a while back, I bought a few of Stash’s, and I think they actually have the most appealing FLAVORED teas I had. Tea is the least jittery caffeine intake I indulge in that I still feel. Another bonus of the clean flavor, both on Stash and on the spice of the tea itself, is that it doesn’t feel like it leaves as bitter an after-taste that most plain black tea has.

Which is not to say that I don’t enjoy a good black tea without flavor - there’s something pleasantly floral about it once you adapt to it that’s “delightfully complex”, as it were. My other masala tea comparisons do mostly come from Bigelow, specifically, their Vanilla Chai. Memories of that one are from before I grew unhinged, steeping for longer, throwing in extra tea bags, so on and so forth, but I remember its flavor being less bold. Stash’s Chai Spice DEFINITELY feels like it has a more robust flavor, with cinnamon being the strongest note I am able to pick out.

About halfway through the drink is when I see myself start to bring my work into focus, and once it’s finished, I’m usually set on being able to hit finer details of whatever I was working on. 

The most strong hold of tea, or coffee, and its ritual, is also the concept of its power to make you sit, and finish it. If I have nothing pinning me to my workspace, I’m more likely to wander. But, PARTICULARLY with a fresh hot cup on my desk that I want to enjoy before it cools, I feel alert, compelled to focus with my leaf water.

A special note - when I first started drinking tea and talking about it when I was younger, a rando on the internet felt it necessary to inform me that I wasn’t drinking it right. Logically, I know now that person probably has a really unpleasant personality and younger-me shouldn’t have been so upset, but I want to state for anyone else who’s trying to enjoy a fun new beverage: all that matters is if it makes YOU happy. 

And if what you’re doing doesn’t harm anyone? Go ahead; try something weird. Maybe next time, I’ll dabble more into the weirder, cursed side of my snack interests, and we can encourage each other.

This will definitely not be my last time talking about tea, much less Stash, though there are a lot of other fun tea sources I’d love to talk about, and maybe, you’ll enjoy reading about. 

[caffeineandcurses]

I Bid You Welcome!

Welcome, and read freely of my latest side project blog, Caffeine & Curses! I’m somewhat reliant on caffeine and outside sources of energy or focus, enjoy a good ramble on topics such as drinks and snacks, and also really wanted a lite project that is a little less intense and more forgiving than my other projects. 

So, what you have is almost exactly what you can read, above: I’m going to be talking about my different experiences with energy drinks, soda, tea and caffeinated items, miscellaneous energy-boosting habits I may try ranging from yoga to essential oils and aromatherapy, as well as delving into some of the stranger snacks I’ve enjoyed. Nothing OUTLANDISH - simple and fun things that may quirk a brow, like Mountain Dew-flavored popcorn, Kool-Aid pickles, and what flavor of Dorito I think pairs best with which pop-tart. 

I may also find time to discuss things that I just find completely wild about stranger culinary history, like clown meat, share recipes that I happen upon and feel worth sharing, and one day defy my shameful Westernized mindset of refusing to eat bugs (although I GUESS I already eat shrimp, don’t I?). I know that often, people will post a content warning for posts that contain food, but given the very nature of this being a snack-discussing intention, I think that’s going to go without saying. But if I feel it’s warranted, I will warn for any content I have that I feel could make unaware onlookers nervous. 

Above all else, this is an entertainment-inspired project, and I hope it does that, and leaves you with some of the happiness I bring.