#which is kinda annoying but whatever

[solixfugae]

La Limerencia de un parásito. A Parasite's Limerence

Hay un aire que me asfixia desde adentro, un hedor toxico que me hace lagrimear. Pero en mi cansancio aparente, no puedo cerrar mi boca, no puedo dejar de jadear. Veo puntos de colores en las esquinas de mis ojos, hay un nudo en mi garganta, no puedo respirar.

En mi desesperación busco un descanso, busco algo en lo que me pueda aferrar. Mis uñas se encarnan en piel tierna, carne sensible, mis dedos se funden entre gotas con sal. Si me tapo, si me envuelvo en la piel de alguien, se que no caeré tan pronto al vacío, incluso aunque no entienda que sucede, quiero manos en mi espalda, quiero besos en mi frente, necesito escapar.

Pero yo tengo este don, de romper la belleza, de infestar lo precioso, y madecirlo con el tacto de mi presencia. Y cualquier ser vivo que me acompañe, se va a desintegrar, deformar como las olas que golpean la arena.

¿Son mis lágrimas reales o es por el químico que penetra mis pestañas? ¿Soy cruel si me aferro a un ser que grita y patea para safarse de mi? ¿Soy un enfermo si disfruto las heridas, disfruto la ira en la que me quiero desahogar, en la que quiero olvidarme de todo lo que sentí?

Aun cada recuerdo lo siento con rencor, las náuseas escalan por mi esófago por cada imagen en mi memoria. La cólera crece en mi como la forma en que el sol sale del alba,  en los sueños de ojos que aferran mi mente, no tengo salvación, no tengo escapatoria.

No puedo matar, no puedo amar, solo puedo fingir la sensación de manos en mi cuello, y los susurros de espejismos en sábanas acolchadas. Entre el espacio de mis dedos y la presencia, casi puedo sentir el calor de un cuerpo humano, casi puede ser una unión con piernas entrelazadas.

Pero no puedo dejar en libertad la fantasía sobre la neblina de un amor imposible, porque la culpa carcome mis huesos en cada reflexión. Y me pregunto si mis sueños tiran hacia abajo la vida, me pregunto si es una visión pesimista, o si debo asfixiar a mi cerebro por aquella infantil idealización. Quizá jamás lo sepa, y todo permanezca en el olvido. La perfección de un fantasma es que nadie escucha el eco de sus pasos, nadie escucha la fuerza en sus latidos. En mi muerte marcare en piedra mis recuerdos, los que tan deliciosos serán para la erosión.

Voy a cambiar cada palabra

Entre la sangre de mis labios mordidos

Voy a leer mis movimientos

Entre el musculo palpitante que une mis articulaciones con dolor

Entre el espacio del corazón a las costillas, de la piel a los pulmones.

Voy a agazaparme de la persona que soy.

Aunque ya no reconozca su color.

There is an air that suffocates me from within, a toxic stench that makes me tear up. But in my apparent exhaustion, I can't close my mouth, I can't stop panting. I see colored dots in the corners of my eyes, there's a lump in my throat, I can't breathe

In my desperation I look for slumber, I look for something I can hold on to. My nails incarnate into tender skin, sensitive flesh, my fingers melt between drops of salt. If I cover myself, if I wrap myself in someone's skin, I know that I will not fall into the void so soon, even if I don't understand what is happening, I want hands on my back, I want kisses on my forehead, I need to get away.

But I have this gift, to break the beauty, to infest the precious, and curse it with the touch of my presence. And any living being that accompanies me is going to disintegrate, deform like the waves that hit the sand.

Are my tears real or is it because of the chemical that penetrates my eyelashes? Am I cruel if I cling to a being that screams and kicks to get away from me? Am I sick if I enjoy the wounds, do I enjoy the anger in which I want to let it out? In which I want to forget everything I felt?

Still every remembrance i feel it with resentment, nausea climbs through my esophagus for every image in my memory. Anger grows in me like the way the sun rises at dawn, in the dreams of eyes that grip my mind, I have no salvation, I have no escape.

I can't kill, I can't love, I can only fake the feeling of hands on my neck, and the whispers of mirages in quilted sheets. Between the space of my fingers and the presence, I can almost feel the warmth of a human body, it can almost be a union with intertwined legs.

But I can't let loose the fantasy about the fog of an impossible love, because guilt eats away at my bones in every reflection. And I wonder if my dreams pull life down, I wonder if it is a pessimistic vision, or if I must suffocate my brain because of that childish idealization. Maybe I will never know, and everything will remain forgotten. The perfection of a ghost is that no one hears the echo of its footsteps, no one hears the strength in its heartbeat. In my death I will mark my memories in stone, those that will be so delicious for erosion.

I will change every word

Between the blood of my bitten lips

I will read my movements

Between the throbbing muscle that unifies my joints with pain

Between the space from the heart to the ribs, from the skin to the lungs.

I'm going to huddle of the person that I am.

Although I no longer recognize its color.

[technicolorxsn]

current collection

[yuwuta]

you ask yuuta if he wants a bite of your food and when he says yes you offer your plate to him, but he’s just sat there looking at you with his dumb big bambi boy eyes and his mouth slightly open and he will not look away or blink or close his mouth until you lift your fork to his lips to feed him and then he grins like shit’s sweet and hums about how good the food is like nothing happened like he’s not ridiculously attractive. gonna chew on steel

[sonknuxadow]

hey guys look what i found in my drafts. from a few days ago .

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Asunder

slow-paced high fantasy

a woman who has a contract with an eldritch entity allowing her to see the dead & survives by taking various jobs

when a job searching for stranded smugglers in a cave goes wrong, she ends up with the soul of a dying stranger bound to her shadow

along with a scholar and her old childhood friend, they travel to his home country to find a way to unbind him and save them both

dark fantasy world with gods, demonic entities, arcane magic, and semi-sentient beasts used as transport

[moeblob]

Ladd: but why would you kill me when I'm willing to kill for you?? Lass: omg you can't just say you'd kill someone, Ladd. that's murder and it's frowned upon.

(and then Ladd does kill for her but it's fine and part of the job)

[kierancaz]

Listen I do not ship Jon and Damian.

But if dc is trying to convince us that they wouldn’t work as a couple they are doing a horrible fucking job at it.

Also literally what the fuck is the dc timeline right now bc I’m literally so confused bc on one hand we have like the new Wonder Woman series which is like far enough in the future for Lizzie to be either a teen or young adult and Damian is Batman and Jon is Superman but then we also have the Batman and Robin series where Damian literally just started high school so like wtf is this Dawn of Dc reboot doing and where are we.

Whatever the fuck happened in Future State is lowkey like bothering me now even tho at the time I was really happy bc we got Yara (which I’m still happy about bc I love her and I want more stuff with her in it) but also I feel like jumping ahead in the timeline was a bad decision bc now it’s all fucked up and weird.

Ngl I haven’t really read the new Wonder Woman series, I started it but didn’t get too far bc I was reading on my phone and there were just sooo many text boxes I wanted to wait until I can get it in graphic novel form. But I see pages from it and stuff (of Damian and Jon raising Lizzie) that are like 5, 10, idk years in the future bc we’re watching Lizzie be grow up and it just makes me go ??? Bc Lizzie is going to be a permanent character (I’m assuming) but they’re just kinda skipping over all of her life ?? And also fast forwarding Damian and Jon’s ??? And if they’re gonna keep with Damian and Jon raising her then they NEED to be fast forwarded in their stories for Lizzie/Trinity to exist. I think Lizzie has had a comic before this (I remember casually comics made a video on it) but Lizzie was a full adult and Damian and Jon were already Batman and Superman so like. Idk the only way Lizzie seems to be able to exist is by cutting out years of story from Damian and Jon and also as someone who doesn’t want Damian to end up as Batman it’s kinda like with Lizzie’s existence it just kinda seals it in stone that Damian is going to be Batman.

[atopvisenyashill]

on reflection the fact that we didn’t see laena claim vhagar, and now didn’t see the moment addam got on seasmoke either? kinda annoying me

[breezey-with-an-e]

Being someone who read a lot of myths & fairytales & also has existed on the internet from a young age, I don't think the leaked pokemon stories are that big of a deal

If anything I'm just annoyed because all I'm going to hear about for the next 3 months is typhlosion pedophile jokes

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

trying to finish reading dungeon meshi now that it's done and just seeing everyone in the comments talking about ships. gun to my head

[theninth09]

I have returned to rant at/with you! Brett talbot. Believe it or not I don’t hate Brett I think he’s actually an interesting character and I would have liked to see him and Liam eventually become good friends. BUT I don’t care how fangirly some of the fandom are because of his abs and the love he has for his sister, he’s a gradeA asshole who did a disgusting thing for a dumb reason.

I hate some fanfics where Brett lives and still treats Liam horrible. Especially because they like to make Theo and Brett bffs, like I’m sorry this man smashed a man’s head to a mirror and snapped a ghost riders head for threatening Liam and you expect me to think Theo would be friends to someone with that same history who STILL treats Liam like dirt. HONESTLY WE SHOULD THANK JEFF THAT HE KILLED BRETT BECAUSE IF THEO IN CANON WOULD HAVE EVER MET BRETT AFTER LEARNING WHAT HE DID TO LIAM THEY WOULD NEVER HAVE FOUND THE BODY!!!

The fact that Liam could even attempt to make peace with him in season 5&6b makes him a fricken saint, because while being teased sucks it’s another thing to be physically assaulted by someone twice your size and strength. And Liam still helps him and considers him a friend only to still be treated shitty by Brett, especially because as far as we know Liam never did anything directly to Brett himself only the schools coach. Like I’m sorry that you are on a thin scholarship that is for both you and your sister but that doesn’t excuse you from attacking a 15 year old boy cause he doesn’t match YOUR standards on YOUR team. Because that’s what he and his teammates did, they kidnapped and beat Liam as he was still human. While the others don’t know about the supernatural, Brett does, and would be significantly stronger than the others when hurling literal sports balls at a defenceless teenager in a cage. He could have been arrested if Liam pressed charges.

And the people who like to say it was a hallucination caused by guilt are ridiculous. Why would Liam hallucinate something so specific if he was feeling guilty about Brett’s death. If that was the case instead he should have seen Brett dying over and over or Brett telling him- “it’s your fault me and Lori died!” Not “we lost, and it’s your fault!” Like I’m sorry lacrosse is important to Liam but it’s NOT THAT important. Liam very obviously is triggered in an episode called triggers, if the episode was guilt it would have been called something according to that. Like that kid must have some serious PTSD and half of it isn’t even from all the supernatural shit he’s seen, which is heartbreaking and makes me want to hug him so tight that he never feels pain again.

I’m sorry I ranted…

i think bretts and liams friendship fits into the pattern that liam has with all his other friends. except for mason, basically all of his relationships start of extremely rocky. scott and stiles, hayden, corey, theo, nolan... all of these people he didnt particularly like. he fights with them (physically), they put him into dangerous situations/threaten him (scott, theo, nolan) and he has to learn to trust them. brett fits right into that, technically.

the detail that stands out is that brett is literally just a bully. all the other characters i listed, they had reasons for why they treated liam the way they did. like. theo and nolan were both about to kill liam, but that was because of their circumstances. they didnt have something specifically against liam.

brett, on the other hand, is just mean to him? i already talked about that i think the flashback liam has is definitely a real memory and as you said, liam wasnt a werewolf back then and nothing about that scene indicates that liams own behavior was reason for brett to go to such extreme measures. and i understand that brett has reason to be pissed off at liam for what he did to their coach's car, but the way he continously makes fun of liams disorder and is so rude to him, literally up until his death?

like... i love asshole characters (obviously, i love theo) but even theo has his soft moments. theo shows again and again in s6 that he cares about liam. we never see anything like that from brett. he cares about his sister, wow, but thats one line right before they both die. doesnt exactly give them much depth or makes me care about them.

and yeah i agree. im not a fan of people including brett (and sometimes lori) in fics, idk. i get that fanfiction is there to have fun and it doesnt need to make sense in canon. people bring back allison, erica, boyd, etc all the time in fanfiction and thats cool. you do you. but i personally dont understand why people are so obsessed with brett. its not like he was a fascinating character or anything and as someone who prefers canon-compliant fics, making him still be alive erases so much of liams development and even thiams dynamic. if you want more members for the puppy pack, nolan, alec, hayden and gwen are right there.

and god yeah no i dont like this idea of theo and brett being friends at all. i guess you could argue they have slightly similar personalities bc of their abrasive attitude, but thats just not enough to convince me that theyd get along. and yeah, theo has the biggest fucking soft spot for liam. obviously he knows that liam can handle himself, but i dont think that hed be completely unbothered by what brett did.

if you want to give theo new friends other than liam, so many other characters make more sense in my opinion. let him reconnect with scott. let him bond with corey or hayden because they were part of the chimera pack. let him bond with nolan as they were both antagonists in liams life and have to earn his trust. let him bond with alec who we basically know nothing about anyway so its easy to make him into someone that theo could get to know.

or yknow. do whatever you want and bring brett back, i guess.

[skyward-floored]

Either allergies are hitting me like a ton of bricks or I’m sick or something OOF

Thought we were finally done with the allergies 🙄

[cryolyst]

~

[mars-ipan]

the prednisone was mean to me overnight :(

[oh-meow-swirls]

it's kind of weird to me that they didn't bother releasing sushi and tempura internationally at all but at the same time i'm kinda glad they didn't cuz like. yo-kai watch was financially failing in the west by the time 3 released. i feel like if they had released sushi and tempura the franchise would've completely tanked before we got sukiyaki which would've sucked. honestly if anything i feel like it's more surprising that we got all three versions of 2 instead of them just releasing psychic specters but tbf i think yo-kai watch was doing well in the west when 2 released. 2 is just inexplicably what killed the franchise despite being a masterpiece-

[somecunttookmyurl]

my body alert me to having an entirely full bladder with more than 30s warning challenge (impossible)