#which is basically a story of what link click is all about i think

[always-a-joyful-note]

You know, I find it incredibly funny that most villains get a backstory to show how tragic and sad and sympathetic they are. But the writers looked at Qiao Jin and went, "Oh, we can use his backstory to make him WORSE." In exchange, the Li twins got the brunt of the tragedy and man are they really going through it

[ask-the-prose]

Do Your Research

This phrase is regularly thrown around writeblr and for good reason. It's important to research what you are writing about to know what to include, what can be fudged, and how to depict whatever you're writing. I see "do your research" most thrown around by well-meaning and highly traditionally educated writers. It's solid advice, after all!

But how do you research?

For those writers who don't already have the research skills necessary to write something comfortably already downloaded into your brain, I put this guide together for you.

Where do I even start?

It's a daunting task, research. But the best place to start is with the most basic, stupidest question you can think of. I'm going to talk about something that I already know a lot about: fighting.

When researching fight scenes, a great way to start is to look up what different weapons are. There are tons out there! So ask the stupid questions. What is a sword? What is a gun? How heavy are they?

Google and Wikipedia can help you a lot with these basic-level questions. They aren't great sources for academic articles, but remember, this is fiction. It doesn't need to be perfect, and it doesn't need to be 100% accurate if you don't want it to be. But knowing what is true to life will help you write well. Just like knowing the rules of writing will help you break them.

You may find in your basic research sweep that you have a lot more specific questions. Write them all down. It doesn't matter if they seem obvious. Write them down because they will be useful later.

How To Use Wikipedia Correctly

Wikipedia is a testament to cooperative human knowledge. It's also easy to edit by anonymous users, which means there is a lot of room for inaccuracies and misleading information. Wikipedia is usually pretty good about flagging when a source is needed or when misleading language is obvious, but Wikipedia itself isn't always the most accurate or in-depth source.

Wikipedia is, however, an excellent collection of sources. When I'm researching a subject that I know nothing about, say Norse mythology, a good starting point is the Wikipedia page for Odin. You'll get a little background on Odin's name and Germanic roots, a little backstory on some of the stories, where they appear, and how they are told.

When you read one of the sentences, and it sparks a new question, write the question down, and then click on the superscript number. This will take you directly to the linked source for the stated fact. Click through to that source. Now you have the source where the claim was made. This source may not be a primary source, but a secondary source can still lead you to new discoveries and details that will help you.

By "source-hopping," you can find your way across the internet to different pieces of information more reliably. This information may repeat itself, but you will also find new sources and new avenues of information that can be just as useful.

You mean I don't need a library?

Use your library. Libraries in many parts of the US are free to join, and they have a wealth of information that can be easily downloaded online or accessed via hardcopy books.

You don't, however, need to read every source in the library for any given topic, and you certainly don't need to read the whole book. Academic books are different from fiction. Often their chapters are divided by topic and concept and not by chronological events like a history textbook.

For example, one of my favorite academic books about legislative policy and how policy is passed in the US, by John Kingdon, discusses multiple concepts. These concepts build off one another, but ultimately if you want to know about one specific concept, you can skip to that chapter. This is common in sociological academic books as well.

Going off of my Norse Mythology example in the last section, a book detailing the Norse deities and the stories connected to them will include chapters on each member of the major pantheon. But if I only care about Odin, I can focus on just the chapters about Odin.

Academic Articles and How To Read Them

I know you all know how to read. But learning how to read academic articles and books is a skill unto itself. It's one I didn't quite fully grasp until grad school. Learn to skim. When looking at articles published in journals that include original research, they tend to follow a set structure, and the order in which you read them is not obvious. At all.

Start with the abstract. This is a summary of the paper that will include, in about half a page to a page, the research question, hypothesis, methods/analysis, and conclusions. This abstract will help you determine if the answer to your question is even in this article. Are they asking the right question?

Next, read the research question and hypothesis. The hypothesis will include details about the theory and why the researcher thinks what they think. The literature review will go into much more depth about theories, what other people have done and said, and how that ties into the research of the present article. You don't need to read that just yet.

Skim the methods and analysis section. Look at every data table and graph included and try to find patterns yourself. You don't need to read every word of this section, especially if you don't understand a lot of the words and jargon used. Some key points to consider are: qualitative vs. quantitative data, sample size, confounding factors, and results.

(Some definitions for those of you who are unfamiliar with these terms. Qualitative data is data that cannot be quantified into a number. These are usually stories and anecdotes. Quantitative data is data that can be transferred into a numerical representation. You can't graph qualitative data (directly), but you can graph quantitative data. Sample size is the number of people or things counted (n when used in academic articles). Your sample size can indicate how generalizable your conclusions are. So pay attention. Did the author interview 300 subjects? Or 30? There will be a difference. A confounding factor is a factor that may affect the working theory. An example of a theory would be "increasing LGBTQ resources in a neighborhood would decrease LGBTQ hate crimes in that area." A confounding factor would be "increased reporting of hate crimes in the area." The theory, including the confounding factor, would look like "increasing LGBTQ resources in a neighborhood would increase the reporting of hate crimes in the area, which increases the number of hate crimes measured in that area." The confounding factor changes the outcome because it is a factor not considered in the original theory. When looking at research, see if you can think of anything that may change the theory based on how that factor interacts with the broader concept. Finally, the results are different from the conclusions. The results tell you what the methods spit out. Analysis tells you what the results say, and conclusions tell you what generalizations can be made based on the analysis.)

Next, read the conclusion section. This section will tell you what general conclusions can be made from the information found in the paper. This will tell you what the author found in their research.

Finally, once you've done all that, go back to the literature review section. You don't have to read it necessarily, but reading it will give you an idea of what is in each sourced paper. Take note of the authors and papers sourced in the literature review and repeat the process on those papers. You will get a wide variety of expert opinions on whatever concept or niche you're researching.

Starting to notice a pattern?

My research methods may not necessarily work for everybody, but they are pretty standard practice. You may notice that throughout this guide, I've told you to "source-hop" or follow the sources cited in whatever source you find first. This is incredibly important. You need to know who people are citing when they make claims.

This guide focused on secondary sources for most of the guide. Primary sources are slightly different. Primary sources require understanding the person who created the source, who they were, and their motivations. You also may need to do a little digging into what certain words or phrases meant at the time it was written based on what you are researching. The Prose Edda, for example, is a telling of the Norse mythology stories written by an Icelandic historian in the 13th century. If you do not speak the language spoken in Iceland in 1232, you probably won't be able to read anything close to the original document. In fact, the document was lost for about 300 years. Now there are translations, and those translations are as close to the primary source you can get on Norse Mythology. But even then, you are reading through several veils of translation. Take these things into account when analyzing primary documents.

Research Takes Practice

You won't get everything you need to know immediately. And researching subjects you have no background knowledge of can be daunting, confusing, and frustrating. It takes practice. I learned how to research through higher formal education. But you don't need a degree to write, so why should you need a degree to collect information? I genuinely hope this guide helps others peel away some of the confusion and frustration so they can collect knowledge as voraciously as I do.

– Indy

[comment-day]

Some Resources To Help With Commenting

If you have ever gotten a comment full of pull-quotes, you know it is a joy to get as an author. You get to know exactly which parts of a fic stood out to someone! Which lines made them keysmash or delve into character or made it all click! Amazing!

If you've ever tried to write one yourself, you know that scrolling to the bottom of the screen to get to the comment box again and again is an exercise in frustration only matched by repeatedly closing your hand in a door while the fire alarm goes off. So. Here are some resources to help with that!

(Note: The high-tech versions below are for Ao3, but they replicate functionality Wattpad already has built in— you can comment line by line on that site! The low-tech resource linked below should work for any site that allows you to leave comments.)

The High Tech:

There is an amazing use script written by @ravenel which gives you a comment box that floats on your screen, which is detailed below.

It can be intimidating to install a use script, so @bourbon-ontherocks wrote a tutorial about it here:

For people who use Ao3 site skins, here's the code to make an Ao3 site skin and add a bookmarklet that turns having your comment box at the bottom of the screen on and off. Bonus: this will also work on mobile!

Here is an alternate Ao3 comment box that lets you open a box, type your commentary in the moment, and then send it down to the comment box at the bottom of the page, and then close it again! Includes an update by @aidaronan which was designed to work on mac and firefox!

The Low Tech:

Honestly I have been meaning to install one of these cool scripts, but I keep putting off installing them, so I just use my notes app. I open up a new note, and on my computer I put it behind my browser window so I can click to it, and on my phone I just keep it so that I can swipe across apps. So Then I copy-paste the quotes I want, dump them in the notes app, and put my commentary below! Simple, fast, and fantastic for when you are stuck on the bus for an hour.

So what do you comment?

What kind of commentary, you ask? I will be honest, a lot of the time the commentary is me going OH NO or keysmashing after lines. And that's also okay! I have been told so by authors before!

I know I have personally gotten comments where commenters did delicate character analysis after lines and those comments are in my treasured forever box, and I also have comments where someone went OH NO OH NO AOHNFDIOFNDISJFODISJIDJSIOFD YOU DIDN"T AUTHOR NO and I also hold them dear to my heart all the same. The author gets to know the reaction a work got from their reader! And that's fantastic!

The point of the pull quotes comment is showing the impact a work is having on you as you go through the work, section by section, and sometimes that's a digression about how this line made you think about the characters relationship and how he DESERVES THIS HAPPINESS, and sometimes it's responding to a heartbreaking line with twenty weeping emoji. The impact of opening up a comment email and seeing 10 lines of quotes of your own work will hit whether you have thoughtful commentary or you are rolling yourself into a little ball like an octopus and tumbling across the screen (ordinary standard unhinged comment I have left on the works of writers who make me feel Like That).

Go forth! Comment in detail! Let the authors know which lines made you go "oh no" out line in the kitchen as you made soup! Let them know about callbacks that you just realized and now you figured out the whole mystery! Let them know about how this one bit was so cute you had to step away from the computer for a sec! Let them know what you thought!

[angels-fantasy]

Top Secret Fiction Ch. 6

The Confrontation

Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

Description: After meeting the one and only pro hero Dynamight on a dating app, you two begin to see each other. Because of the dangers that come with his hero work, you both promise to be completely honest with each other from the beginning; though you can't help but keep one big secret from him.

You write fan fiction, mostly about him.

Chapter Details: deku makes an appearance here heheh. bakugou lowkey might like fanfics? but only if they're about him. scary confrontation 😟 reader is a bit sad and confused :(

Word Count: 1.4k

previous chapter

As soon as Bakugou got home, he opened his computer and looked up 'Bakugou x Reader'. What came up was a ton of links to different websites, one of the top ones being HeroFiction.Com.

Clicking on it, he scrolled through the sight and found many other original stories about different pro heroes.

While doing this, he learned that this was called fan fiction, which he'd heard about before, but he never paid attention to it because he didn't care.

Keeping the website open, he leaned back and wondered, were you writing fan fiction about him? You must've been, based on your notes. Did you write for other pro heroes, or just him?

A small part of him hoped you only wrote for him.

He sighed and rubbed his hands down his face, trying to think about what the hell he was going to do about this. Clearly, this was something you didn't want to tell him, meaning you kept it a secret.

And he hates secrets, but for some reason, this didn't feel too bad. He was almost... flattered, in a way. He was also curious and he just wanted to know more. But how would he even bring this up to you?

Deciding he'd need help with understanding this website, he called someone he trusted.

"Hey Deku. You know what fan fiction is, right?"

Blushing, Izuku replied with "Why are you asking me that Kacchan?!"

"Because I know you used to write that shit back in high school!" He explained, "Just tell me what you know about this site called 'HeroFiction.com.'"

A lightbulb went off in Izuku's head, "Oh yeah I recognize that name! It's basically a website for pro hero fanfiction. I've seen a few good ones actually-"

"Yeah okay, thanks." Katsuki said, cutting off his friend.

It was time for him to do more of his own research, specifically on this website.

...

When you woke up the next morning, you found yourself in your bed wondering how you got there.

Did I fall asleep? You wondered.

You cringed at the thought of Bakugou seeing you asleep and hoped you didn't do anything embarrassing.

Rubbing your eyes, you grabbed your phone from the nightstand and saw a text from Bakugou letting you know he had left after putting you in your bed.

You smiled at his thoughtfulness and texted him back a thank you, and an apology for falling asleep while he was over.

After tossing your phone down onto the bed next to you, you stretched and blinked away any leftover sleep.

As you were stretching your legs you felt your foot hit something softly. Wondering what it was, you sat up and looked at the foot of your bed, eyes widening when you realized it was your notebook.

But this wasn't just any notebook- this one had all of your notes for fics you were planning on writing.

You thought about how Bakugou brought you into your bedroom, and your heart sank to your stomach when you realized he probably saw your notebook.

"Noooo!" You cried and placed your hands over your eyes. "Kill me now..."

You prayed to any higher power out there that he didn't read anything.

...

Your prayers clearly didn't reach anyone because a few hours after waking up, you got a text from Bakugou that said, "Can we talk? ASAP."

Biting your nail nervously, you texted back "Sure" and asked when and where he'd want to meet up.

Quickly texting back, he told you he'd meet you at a cafe near your neighborhood in a few hours.

A little while later as you got ready to meet up with him you felt like you were going to cough up your stomach and die from your nerves.

You didn't want to accept it, but deep down you knew he figured out your secret. It was already terrifying trying to keep what you did in your free time a secret, but now that the person you wrote about knew, was even more terrifying!

It seemed as though your frantic thoughts made time go by even faster than usual, and it was now time for you to leave so you could make it to the cafe on time.

Taking a deep breath and patting your face, you stepped out of your apartment and began to head to the cafe.

...

As Bakugou sat at the cafe in the outdoor dining area, he tapped his foot anxiously as he awaited your arrival.

After his phone call with Deku and doing his own research (which just consisted of reading other fan fictions he came across), he came to the conclusion that he would accept this hobby of yours, if you were honest about it when he confronted you.

Since he had browsed the website a bit, he came across some stories that were actually decent (but also others that were very, very questionable and he really hoped you didn't write anything like that. ESPECIALLY not a story with him and that damn Deku).

He'd never admit it, but it boosted his ego a bit to know that you wrote about him, and he definitely wanted to read some of your stuff. He wanted to know if it was as good as some of the other ones he has read.

Suddenly, he saw your figure walking towards him and he was snapped out of his thoughts. He sat up straighter and placed his elbows against the table, leaning forward.

You sat down across from him silently with a shy look on your face. "So..." You said softly, "You wanted to talk?"

He cleared his throat, "Yeah. I'll just get to the point..." He said, before hesitating to say, "That night I was at your place, I saw your notebook-"

You grimaced, knowing exactly what he was talking about, and placed your hands over your face in embarrassment. "I'm sorry." You said.

Letting out a deep breath, you uncovered your face and continued to speak while looking down at your lap. "I knew this would come up eventually, I just didn't think it'd be so soon..."

Bakugou scoffed, "So when were you gonna tell me? Never?"

You frowned at his tone, "No! It's just not an easy topic to talk about Bakugou. It's embarrassing and I wasn't just going to say 'Hey Bakugou, did you know I've been writing fan fiction about you for three years?'"

He blinked. He could understand where you were coming from. In fact, he'd probably be more weirded out if you had told him that easily. But, even though you were honest now, it still doesn't shake his uneasiness about you keeping a secret from him.

Sure, it wasn't a huge, life threatening secret, but it was still something you kept from him. He liked honesty, especially in a relationship and it's something he valued heavily. A part of him felt like he should've known about this sooner, since it was about him for gods sake!

He sighed. "Before you go assuming things, I'm not mad at ya, okay?" He said, "I just... I think I need time to think about this alright? A few days at most."

You furrowed your eyebrows subconsciously, making your eyes look big and puppy like. Well damn, how was he supposed to stay away from you when you gave him that look?

"Okay." You spoke sadly, "I understand. I shouldn't have kept that from you, so again, I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "'S fine."

You rubbed your sweaty palms on your legs and stood up. "I'll give you time now, alright? Just, call or text me whenever you're ready." You said and gave him a small wave before walking back in the direction you came from.

As you made your way back, you thought about your talk with Bakugou.

If you wanted to keep seeing him, maybe you would have to stop writing. You were starting to really like Bakugou, and you didn't want a silly hobby to get in the way of a potentially serious relationship with him.

You felt your eyes tear up. It was hard to think about giving up writing. You had made friends through your writing, your own little community online. It was great! But realistically, could you keep this up forever?

That same night, you posted on your page.

Hi everyone. I've decided to take a break from writing for a while. I'm not sure how long it will be, but I will still leave everything here for you to read.

Thank you, xo.

authors note

HIII omg im so sorry i haven't updated this fic in a while 🥹 this chapter was actually really fun to write and omg writing readers thoughts at the end lowkey made me sad!! how do you feel about it? pls lmk!!

love ya!

tag list: @doumadono @54fangirl @andysdrafts @dagger-dragger @lovra974 @l4rsun1vrrse @emmab3mma @littlkittenfan @tatiquichi @cloudxluv @seonne @shonen-brainrot @the2ndl @gold24fish @cxp1d @rv19 @gina329

(those in pink couldn't be tagged)

[wisteriasonthemoon]

Do coincidences strike twice?

oh yeah, my replay. I got distracted. I was in chapter 1, at the very first free-time event

this is a great place to start blogging about it again, because there's a question that has been bugging me that Kokichi's event provides great context for. I would like to call upon fandom collective memory for a potential answer

in his FTE #1, Kokichi claims that he and Kaede have met before, but she's forgotten about him. after Kaede questions him, Kokichi goes into a very short story about how they supposedly met. he then rescinds his claim

Kokichi: Hmmm, let's see. We met... Kokichi: ...under hostile circumstances similar to this. Kaede: Huh? Kokichi: You sheltered me while I was on the run from my enemies. With your piano skills, you managed to raise enough money to fund my escape... Kokichi: But then I betrayed you! I sold you out to my enemies and you were swiftly killed! Kaede, thinking: Th-there is no freaking way any of that is true... Kaede: That was all a lie! Kokichi: Yup, it sure was! We met each other here! I can't believe you fell for that, Kaede. You're such a sucker. Kaede: Geez... Kaede, thinking: Yeah... This is the sort of prank a kid who wants attention would pull.

because of the fantastical and vague nature of the story, Kaede dismisses him without much consideration and some agitation, yada yada, Kaede leaves annoyed

okay, context established. smash cut. tumblr town time now

so, there's this DRV3 theory post from 2021 by tumblr user fit-artichoke8738 that I really enjoy. well, I say theory post, but it doesn't attempt to conclude anything about the game or its' mysteries. it's more of a musing connection between two background details: the DICE logo and Kaede's research lab door

for those of you who didn't click the link, basically, Kaede's research lab door resembles the right half of the DICE logo. or, to put it another way, the right half of the DICE logo resembles piano keys. like this

that's it, that's the whole post. fit-artichoke8738 doesn't further speculate. which is all well and good, because although nobody points it out in the notes, the right half of the DICE logo is ... the "C" and "E" in DICE ...

... probably??? right???

which means this could easily be explained as an artistic coincidence. both are black and white, composed of common shapes, and the devs might have not been thinking about the similarities given all the time and work that goes into creating a game like DRV3

I have an addition though. is this *also* an artistic coincidence

IS IT?

did the devs consciously choose to write Kokichi doing a "you were my ally once! psych!" rug pull on Kaede in his first free-time event with her and then they just. spilled paint and accidentally made this design on her shirt

a design, btw, that I am aware is officially listed in the DRV3 in-game gallery as her former high school emblem. it also names the school as "Shining Star International High School". it's a reference to Seisa International, a real conglomerate of International schools in Japan, or so claims the danganronpa.fandom wiki

the only post I can find of similar speculation is from 2020 on VK, a Russian social media, where someone else pulls "LIE" out of the same emblem, just without utilizing the whole thing

and jokes aside, I can guess why this isn't talked about much. this is a background detail, the framework that most people (seem to) view the truth of DRV3 is through Tsumugi's game-show explanation, and there are several ways to dismiss the "DICE" reading, including but not limited to the fact that Kaede has a very inconsistently rendered emblem between her cut-scenes and sprites

but I expected to be able to *find* that dismissal. like "oh. that's weird. ANYWAY." kind of posts. nada. am I missing them??? where are they??? I'd love to understand where the logic for current DRV3 interpretations comes from. the lack of theory discussion these days makes that difficult for me. might as well start with what happened with this idea, since I'm interested in it

if anybody knows, that would be cool. and with that out of my system. I'll resume replay next weekend. maaaaaybe tomorrow

[480pfootage]

Something I haven't seen talked about a lot in CRP or Slenderverse spaces was the prevalence of fire in relation to the Slenderman (who, for brevity sake, will be referred to as the Operator in this post)..

What really made it click in my head was finally playing the extra level, Nightmare, in Slender: The Arrival (and also my gorgeous @pechadream pointing out the specifics to me ehe..)

Under cut will be a sort of analysis moreso long winded talk on fire in the story of Marble Hornets, JTK, STA, and Toby's...

It is to be noted that Joseph, Troy, and Tim S. all worked on STA -- not sure to what extent, but they are credited. This is important as there are two instances in MH wherein a fire happened. Linking that with the whole "Cleanse with fire" message that STA was going for, it could explain why people like Alex, CR, Toby, or perhaps Tim W. chose the option of burning in an attempt to kill/cover up tracks instead of anything easier.

Talks of purification are laden in this level of STA which reminds me of the biblical motifs of Marble Hornets. The major cleanses with fire in the Bible (Sodom and Gomorrah, Revelations) all refer to God using fire to cleanse a place of its sinners. Alex himself is often seen with stigmata's and imagery of Christ, of a savior; therefore he sees himself doing a favor by not merely attempting to kill Tim (at first at least lol), the root of it all, by typical means, but to purify him in a sense by letting him die by flame. (CR's plan is similar -- basically the same -- to Alex's so I won't talk about him and Kate ;()

Now it's not really confirmed how Tim's psychiatric institute burnt down, but I think it started in his hospital room? Either way, I think it's an interesting link if it was kid Tim who started it: trying to cleanse himself and everyone he affected, but in turn not doing anything useful.

Creepypasta-wise I think it is extra interesting as we never got a reason as to why Toby would choose to light his entire neighborhood on fire. @pechadream pointed it out that the Operator's influence could play into why Toby would do that.. Whether it be as a last ditch effort to cover up his tracks or deluded empathy trying to free everyone (especially his mother) from the Operator's influence.

Now Jeff (talking about Woods here) is a bit more.. farfetched. This is also if he was in the same universe as the Operator. Story goes that he gets set on fire and he comes out fucked up, why the bullies burnt him? Could be related to the Operator could not be. ANYWAYS. Purifying in the Bible is not only limited to fires, of course. I'd like to think of Woods's burning as a sort of baptism for him.. He was born anew and all that and come to think of it this could refer to Toby too

I think what m trying to say is that cleansing with fire should be explored more when talking about slender.. okay thanks

[felassan]

Thoughts on the IGN DA:TV 22 min gameplay - Crossroads portion

this post is under a cut due to what some peeps may consider spoilers, and length.

[Lighthouse portion link]

I began writing this post today before the progression video released, I wanna clear out the draft. don't look at me HH.

Coming into the Crossroads, again I'm curious to know if elf lineage Rooks will perceive it differently than the other Rooks, as in DA:I.

Left: The Lighthouse eluvian leads out to Solas' pocket area of the Crossroads. The area around the eluvian is called Beacon Island. It makes sense; lighthouses in the mundane world are often on islands, and they are beacons. in the Fade, the island floats in the 'air', and the Fade is often referred to with watery language & symbolism. Center: I've decided that I think these golden posts are the 'change party' points. You see them at multiple points throughout the video. The icon has three helmets (and parties are Rook+2). I feel like if we click on this it will take you to the party selection screen. Also, the gold-and-cyan coloring of the post reminds me of the color scheme of the lyrium dagger. We know that Rook can use the dagger to channel companions' special abilities in their absence. it makes sense that the [essentially] 'summon party member themselves button' is themed in the same way. Right x2: These blue lamps are all over Beacon Island. I wondered if they were also part of what gave Beacon Island its name (lamp - light - beacon), but then I remembered that we have also seen these elsewhere, like in this screenshot. what if that scene and the final battle (or whenever this key event takes place) isn't actually set in the Black City like we thought? what if that's the ruins of Beacon Island and the Lighthouse, under attack from the gods and their darkspawn army? if they can assault the Crossroads, why not the Lighthouse? Corypheus attacks your base at two key points in DA:I. what trips me up a bit is in the background of the dragon shot are the Evanuris head-shape statues like a Fade reflection of the Arlathan Forest ritual site, not this island. but the Fade is a changeable realm and the 'landscape' of Skyhold also changes when Corypheus attacks due to his influence. they could just like, appear.

The ancient elven tree asset from DA:I. It has an icon on the mini-map, so it's either a landmark or has some sort of interactable function. Among the branches it glows with magical energy, as a device it's active. What's it for? A power source? A defense thing? I could see an argument for it basically being a magical defense turret. At the base are two frozen figures, reminding of Solas' Trespasser power to petrify people. I feel like on one of them at least I can see a pointed elven ear. Were these people attacking the base (and are left there as a warning), or were they fleeing? Did the device freeze them? Or a person?

Left: big dog 👍 Center top: DA:I Falon'Din owl statue asset on Beacon Island, to the right as you exit the Lighthouse eluvian. There are at least two of these. Owls are also associated with Andruil. Center bottom: This is a tile thing on the ground that Rook walks over on Beacon Island. I turned it upside down here because I think if you flip it and squint it kind of looks like the shape of a wolf's head. Right: There are multiple points from which to take the Caretaker's transport boat. I'm so curious about how big and extensive the Crossroads are.

At this point Rook has some very interesting dialogue concerning the lyrium dagger.

Rook: "Wait. The lyrium dagger's... vibrating. Like a song in a wine glass. Are those voices?"

Why is it vibrating, what does it sense? this trope (not using the term in a negative way) is usually like 'it senses something bad coming' or 'it's near something that calls to it'. The song part reminded me of the red lyrium idol, as described in Tevinter Nights. some people who go near it in one of the short stories hear music in the wind, like a old song they used to know as kids. the song later stops when they stash the idol in a special chest. blue lyrium itself is said to sing, or be described in that kind of imagery. for example, dwarven miners who find it in rock by ear claim they can hear the Stone singing, and Justice says that lyrium doesn't sing in the Fade. In Asunder Rhys hears a song when someone gets a lyrium potion. etc

"Wine glass" also interested me :) Wine is a liquid and the Fade is frequently described in watery imagery. and back to the red lyrium idol for a second, the narrator in TN tells us "When I hefted it in my hand, it was like it wanted to keep moving, like it was liquid inside." Same with the voices. When Bartrand had possession of the idol, he began hearing voices. when the camera pans over the idol in the 2018 DA4 teaser trailer, there is audio that arguably sounds like ominous whispering. I'm not sure if I think the blue lyrium knife has anything to do with the red lyrium idol or if it's simply a case of lyrium things in general have singing, voices etc, but it's what came to mind. If there are two daggers, one red and one blue, like we saw in the DA:TV bonus card pack.. well, a ritual-blade sprang from the base of the red lyrium idol in TN. what if the blue lyrium dagger is from the base of a blue lyrium idol, or if it's the one from the red lyrium idol only Solas was somehow able to cleanse it?

There are some familiar assets and repeating assets in this area, some of differing sizes, like griffon statues, Warden statues etc. this makes sense as the Crossroads reflects the waking world. :)

The Caretaker from the side with their glowing blue oar. their 'body' is like the redesigned spirits/demons as being of emotion, with veins like this giving the impression of a nervous system.

Our hero is confronted by a Pride demon, imposing and armored as in previous games, yet accented by exposed, bright lines that seem to burst from its ribcage. “They are a creature of raw negative emotion,” Busche says. “So we wanted to actually incorporate that into their visual design with this glowing nervous system.” -- Edge magazine article on DA:TV -- “demons in general got a bit of a revamp to more closely align their look you. see it with shades and the pride demon as well. they’re creatures of emotion so they have a spectral nervous system look” [source].

The Caretaker piloting the boat like this is giving Charon the ferryman from Greek mythology.

In the post on the Lighthouse area, I wrote about the top center image here,

this symbol was on the minimap, in front of the Fen'Harel statue. I think it’s this one (left), which we saw in the high-level warrior combat gameplay video. it’s some sort of collectable in the sort of way that gold/coin is. I guess this is where we go to use or spend this thing perhaps, whatever they are? maybe it’s for Lighthouse upgrades? maybe it’s what we spend at or trade to the mysterious “enchanter” who helps us with crafting at the Lighthouse?

When I saw the Caretaker's helmet-shape from the front when Rook took ship, I realized that it reminded me of the symbol on the minimap in the Courtyard and the symbol for that collectable/resource.

When the dev commentary then called the Caretaker a "mysterious spirit" I thought this might be the mysterious "enchanter who helps us with crafting at the Lighthouse", and wondered if the Courtyard helmet symbol on the map near the blue fire in front of the Fen'Harel statue would be where we could summon 'shop version' of them to do that. (remember this post was in the middle of being written out today when a new video dropped hh). we learned today that they have their Workshop there and you spend Mementos (represented by the helmet shape near gold coins) at it. :)

The prow of the ship looks like a carved mabari head and the ship reminds me of a DA:I asset.

When the boat 'lands', this new area of the Crossroads is called the Heights of Athim. This caught my eye because isn't there a mysterious elf introduced in The Wigmaker Job called Athima? Lucanis takes Illario on a shortcut on their way to work. They go through an archway to a courtyard where a statue of a vhenadahl stands. Lucanis touches a groove that opens a secret passage in the statue. They go in and down a winding set of stairs. Torches of green Veilfire are nailed to the walls. At the bottom an elf in a scarlet coat called Athima guards a big door. They tell her they want to go up, she claps her hands together, the Veilfire goes out, the room spins. The Veilfire comes back on and when she opens the door it takes them to a different spiral staircase. Illario asks Lucanis wtf that was and he tells him it was a perk given by their mysterious benefactor. What was this? :D idk, doesn't it sound a bit pocket dimension, Crossroady? Veilfire? And here are "Heights of Athim".

When Harding says "Neve! She always gets the job done", it reminded me of the previous info that Harding and Neve have wholesome interactions, and the descriptors of Neve as capable, competent etc. it's nice to see them supporting one another :)

In this video we have our first proper look at mage gameplay. :D

This moment was so randomly cute because it looks like Rook has protectively put their arm around Harding's shoulders while telling off the darkspawn like DON'T TALK TO ME OR MY SON EVER AGAIN hhh.

At this point there's a gold chest off to one side. I liked hearing examples of combat barks, comments and banter. Neve explains a bit about how templars work in Tevinter to southern Harding. Their banter here is as follows:

Harding: Do templars really not have authority over mages in Tevinter? What happens if there’s blood magic? What do they do? Neve: Depends on the templar. Depends on who’s bought their loyalty Harding: What do you do when the authorities can’t be trusted to do the right thing? Neve: That’s how I keep busy.

This reminded me soo much of a promotional video for DA4 once upon a time where the devs said that "We want to tell a story of what happens when you don't have power; when the people in charge aren't willing to address the issues" ! Here Neve is saying, when that happens, that's where people like us can and should step in. :)

Rook then goes to a new area called "Mountainside Eluvians". the name of the area implies to me that there are other batches of eluvians grouped together in different locations elsewhere in the Crossroads which would have different names, not simply these 4.

The map here tells us that in the Mountainside alone, there are four different eluvians. The one lit up with the blue quest marker goes to Hossberg Wetlands. Dev commentary here says,

“You’ll see as we move towards these eluvians the architecture very clearly reflects what’s on the other side.”

The one on the right is flanked by griffon statues. The eluvian is shattered! This video was set after the storybeat of the siege of Weisshaupt. Maybe this was the eluvian that went to Weisshaupt fortress? now that Weisshaupt has fallen, we cannot go back there, and the fate of the place is reflected in the broken mirror. :( in fact, this eluvian no longer even has a quest marker for it. it's unusable. (see yellow dot annotated on minimap where I think its marker used to be).

This one next to it is also flanked with griffons and has these giant rings on sticks. maybe this one leads to this location from the release date reveal trailer (which seems Anderfelsy to me)?

For the eluvian to the left of the Hossberg Wetlands one, like I said here, based on the dwarf statue and the way Kal-Sharok was highlighted on that new map, I wonder if that one goes to Kal-Sharok. (pls pls :D) Lastly, for the one to the left of that, it's hard to tell as the camera doesn't really pan round to it.

General thoughts/speculation on commentary & such:

The Crossroads is such a fun method of 'explaining' fast-traveling.

To think that we would get to explore Solas’ former base of operations and training grounds during the ancient days of the rebellion, view fragments of the past to get insight into his character, ancient Elvhenan and the gods and their motivations.. to actually get to re-live his memories, to take part in the ancient rebellion.. [Flemeth voice] and she came to me. A wisp of an ancient being. And she granted all I ever wanted and more.

It's like a dream come true!! It's peoples' decade-old headcanons, it's our fanfic dreams. I can't wait to see Elvhenan as it was. I hope we get insight into and see Elgar and Ghil before they became Blighted. I hope we get to see some of the other Evanuris too, and Mythal in her fullness before she was murdered. Mythal and Solas interacting. Young Solas, when he was prideful, hot-headed and foolish. his friend Felassan, who is also an ancient elf (it's the perfect opportunity, it makes so much sense). the moment when Solas created the Veil. the betrayal he suffered that he alludes to. Solas removing vallaslin of people who came to his side to join him. Solas with hair, like Matt Rhodes implied during the first dev Q&A? Solas creating a safe haven for freed elves and spirits. maybe even the Forgotten Ones?? and find out how they fit into it all? maybe they were Solas' "party members" in the time of his rebellion? things that we have only seen in mosaics and murals or read about in notes or heard about indirectly in oblique dialogue lines.. ON OUR SCREENS IN A GAME, TO PLAY. OUUGUGHHH. thank you devs

I'm also really curious about the Caretaker. "mysterious" implies that we can learn more about what/who they are. them being there before Solas was tells you how extremely ancient they are. rebuilding the area into a safe haven for spirits sounds so cool too. :)

The Risen Gods having an army of augmented darkspawn.. we in danger. :)

I wanna find every single deep Crossroads secret. :D

On Ghilan'nain's experiments, use of the Blight, etc: some old posts. it's so metal to see Horror of Hormak paying off ingame. :D

[Lighthouse portion link]

[ganondoodle]

okay, bc i have seen this argument alot now (and it also seems to be the view point of aonuma himself..) is that "zelda cant do everything link does bc whats the point then"

and i take personal offense on that bc its a stupid argument (in. my. very. personal. opinion.- not judging people for liking it. its a ME thing)

whats the point? its that its her. its still a different character, different in story, background, personality, but i WANT to play zelda and she can do everything link does, why does she have to be so restricted and be bend over backwards to find some new way to make her 'useful' when link gets to do basically everything no questions asked (the only thing thats hers is like .. sealing power and sacrificial maiden, which i find a little underwhelming to say the least), if theres no point to it why are there always modders that model swap link with someone else, and in that case it has even less impact bc its an artificial model swap with no changes to the story (which can and should still be different when its the vanilla game with a different protagonist... its still a different character), clearly theres joy in just the model being a different one- and that isnt even to mention the story possibilities, since, again, its stil a different character

if we ever (never ... i know who we are talking about here) get to play as ganondorf i want to him to be just as versatile and active as link is, if we got a point and click adventure game for him instead bc 'whats the point' id be disappointed too- you can find any sort of excuse/explanation for zelda to be singled out but the fact remains it tracks with how female characters are often treated, and that hits a very sore spot for me

i guess i am unfortunately one of those annoying people that want to see female characters be treated exactly the same as male characters, possibly bc i am myself afab but identify as agender and have a deeply personal dislike for anything 'traditional' feminine bc i cannot and never will be able to truly live as myself in real life, it influences all of my work, my work is as just as much as my opinion on this, very personal

and in line with my point about modding, i see theres joy in just beign able to play as her even if its like this, i get that, i also get it for the creative aspect (though that mechanic worries me even more for the future bc it really seems to be the path now that -freedom = good, linear anything = bad-) it is a different idea and its not like i cant see that value- im not trying be "right" either, just bc i have that opinion doesnt mean i need everyone to agree, its a very personal thing, if you like it good for you! not for me though, and i think both of that is equally valid

i just personally wish she was allowed to be just like link, fight just like him but be different bc its still her and not him in the end- to be physically/playstyle like jsut like him, but you know ... as her, i dont think shed stop being zelda if she could wield a sword just like him

i dont really know how to get my point/feelings across, i dont want to step too much into personal stuff nor spam people with something that ultimately doesnt interest me alot, im just saddened by it really

(EDIT: bc i forgot to add this on here again; this isnt as much of a problem as it might sound like here, just the main topic i wanted to talk about; why im so uninterested in it is MAINLY bc i dont trust them to write anything interesting/care about lore anymore after totk, im always on the more pessimistic side that thinks its most likely worse than id hope and i know even the past games arent perfect or super interestingly written, but now its much more just a general distrust, together with everything like the price ... im just much less hopeful and cant get excited until i see more of it, like im waiting for the game to get out and reveal that its just as much of a mess and money i regret spending- kind of fear)

[yzy-dragon]

I absolutely ADORED S2E9 "Three Stories" of Link Click and was a bit surprised to see the discontent here on Tumblr, and I totally understand the reasons why people didn't like it, especially in the context of the pacing of the rest of S2 (which I also have some opinions on but I won't talk about that here), but I also felt the need to just get my heart out why I love it so much. A bit of background, I'm Chinese American but have lived in and visited China numerous times.

Music and theater. As a western classical musician and an amateur Chinese opera singer enthusiast (I saw someone else post about the possible inspo this episode got from Chinese opera), I VIBED with the artistic direction of this episode SO much. The three-part structure was almost like a sonata/symphony (and remember that one scene where Qian Jin was air-conducting in a previous episode!!) or scene changes in a Chinese opera. Nothing needs to be said about the animation style that hasn't been said already, but I like how scenes from the three individual "stories" were interwoven and reused like leitmotifs. Especially that crazy, tortured laughter. Idk if any of the parallels were intentional on the part of the director, but it's what I got from it due to my personal experiences. I know that's a highly subjective takeaway though, which brings me to my next point....

Qian Jin's "tragic" backstory. I know a lot of people were upset that the extent of Qian Jin's tragic backstory was "oh his wife cheated on him", but I think the "basicness" of his struggles was the whole point (by the way, this segment displayed various attitudes towards work, family, marriage, individual pride, and life in mainland China so subtly but so well!). I also don't think sympathy was the main thing we were supposed to feel for him, although of course there is some. The whole "tragicomedy" aspect of Qian Jin's story is that it's not some horrible, terrible, rare thing that happened to him, but a common problem faced by so many hardworking but busy married men trying to provide for their families: infidelity. But Qian Jin sees himself as the main character of an elaborate play that rivals the great dramatic classics (which, funnily enough, often depicted very DRAMATIZED versions of a rather basic series of events). And his viewpoint is validated when....

Qian Jin meets the twins. That segment is still largely from Qian Jin's perspective, because we still don't really know how LTC and LTX even feel about him. But for Qian Jin, it's a stroke of fate and fortune that could only possibly happen in theater. He's very far removed from reality at this point. Reality is that a cop whose job it is to investigate violent crime comes across two kids who are the victims of a violent crime. Again, nothing particularly special or even coincidential. It's comical like that.

The fairy tale section.  Unlike the first two, I think this segment is from Xixi’s perspective, which not only justifies the cartoony artstyle but also makes it heartbreaking, due to her childlike innocence.  Like Qian Jin, she also perceives her reality as something it’s not, but unlike him, she doesn’t have delusions of grandeur of being a tragic protagonist.  It’s just a little fox trying to survive in a forest full of predators and hunters.  

All that tortured laughter. I’ve actually noticed in a lot of Chinese media that they like to use laughter as a way of signifying a person’s complete mental breakdown due to the tragedies they’ve suffered.  It’s a very internal thing that has people on the outside going, “WTF?”  In this episode we have a lot of characters crazily laughing together at the same time and it seems like they’re relating to each other, but in reality they’re all trapped in their own nightmarish hells and motivated by selfish purposes. 

Back to the topic of Qian Jin, even though he (innaccurately) may see himself as the hero of his own story, it's not enough for him. He wants to use Cheng Xiaoshi to change the past. He wants to become the director of the play.

I know a lot of people were disappointed this episode didn't advance the plot, especially in regard to Cheng Xioashi and Lu Guang's storylines, but I was actually prepared for a backstory episode and couldn't have been more satisfied. Again, I have other opinions on the rest of S2 but at least standalone, I think this episode was nearly perfect. And I really wasn't expecting this, but it's really elevated Qian Jin to one of my top characters.

[vladdyissues]

hey speaking of giving them good things out of pure seething spite

assorted badger cereal AND cheese melt fluff?

-reveal gone wrong. Fentons are supportive, but reveal happened in front of GiW, which means government agents now have his identity linked to a ghost caught on camera causing mayhem and destruction. don't matter how ultimately ineffectual OR competent you make them, Danny Fenton's in deep shit now.

-but hey, Vlad's got himself some connections! Danny Fenton disappears. Daniel Masters appears. Big bro to Danielle Masters, yes he's always existed, of course he's not Danny Fenton, Phantom is still appearing in Amity Park, there'd have to be a portal in Wisconsin to pull that off.

-Danny expects to feel isolated. Instead? Gets to have extended ghost family like his new gremlin little sister, gets to have a home schooling experience that means he isn't pressured to keep a schedule broken by ghost attacks, gets to visit through the FentonWorks lab regularly.

-And Vlad seems to have chilled the entire fuck out with two half-ghost kids to Obsess over parenting.

-although if he's going to live in this house Danny is damn well going to learn to make his own ghost-tech and learn the value of an honest day's mad science.

-(Vlad didn't bust his ass learning to solder at a professional level for a field of technology so experimental no one credible believes it exists just so Danny could get desparate and use tech as a projectile)

-and it's really nice having lab safety respected so the food doesn't reanimate.

-and he can just use his powers whenever, however.

-huh. with homeschooling getting easier all the time, maybe he could take up a sport? you don't need to attend a school full time to do that, right...?

-best revenge is living well. Or in this case, enabling such for a kid who just says the saddest things about his home life without realizing

-seriously it makes Vlad go "mine nao" on a deep, irrevocable scale.

-also fucking no one believes Daniel Masters is Danny Fenton because they've a: met his little sister, and b: seen them interact. you're saying these two didn't have the same parents and grow up around each other? (And the fun thing is: technically, Dani being a clone means BOTH of those are true!)

-something something "what do you mean I qualify for scholarships?!" + realization he's actually smart he was just being forced to triple shift his life and it was the worst thing he could have possibly done

I am the biggest sucker for Danny unexpectedly thriving under Vlad's care due to having all of the opportunities and special attention that come with being filthy stinking rich. (That's basically what I'm doing in Familiar.) But having a place where he finally feels comfortable being himself and having people he can relate to? Priceless.

his new gremlin little sister

Can you imagine how awesome Danny is going to feel when it finally clicks that he's not the youngest child anymore? That he's a "big brother"? I think he'd be over the moon. (Mostly. I've heard stories of little sisters.)

an honest day's mad science

ALSKDJHFLAKJSHDFLAKJSDHF Vlad inadvertently switching on Danny's dormant mad scientist gene by demonstrating how to Science Correctly while observing proper safety protocol and making it look really fun and cool—something his parents always wanted but never managed to do—is delicious. Two helpings, please. Heap it on 🍽

[kizzer55555]

Hacker Defense Strategy

….So I did a thing.

First I should start at the beginning. My friend’s discord account was hacked today and the hacker messaged me. It was actually pretty convincing as at first I didn’t realize what was going I and was genuinely worried for them.

And by the time I received their message, it had already been 8 hours, so while waiting for a response I went over to a DPXDC discord server I shared with them. (Not the DPXDC discord server but a server, although I think we might be apart of that one too.) And the very first thing I saw was this.

….huh

*peeks over at the message again. Looking at the sender*

Huh

What a coincidence.

So naturally I ask the DPXDC server, tell them about the message, and check to see if this was the hacker or if perhaps I had gotten a message from my friend before they were hacked.

I check the DM with Eros again and I see this.

A link.

…..

suspicious.

I’m starting to think that this may not be my friend.

So what do I do? Report it? Ignore it? Ask for help? All of the above?

No, no I do not.

Now, you are going to need some context. You remember that shared discord server I was a part of? Well, when one greets a new person in a server we have the option to ‘wave’ and say hello to them as a sticker of a character appears. Sometimes it’s a peach, sometimes a dog, or a robot, or a bird. Well this one person in the server became obsessed with the peach. So much so that whenever someone got the peach sticker they would SCREAM peach and just start chanting it in the chat. And then naturally other people started doing so as well because no one in this server is normal (and I love it so much). There may have been a cult. And a channel dedicated to the peach cult. Not important. But basically! The peach became such an important part of this server and then we discovered that you can acess the wave stickers at will. And they ✨vibrate✨ So naturally we bombard any newcomer to the server with peaches. So I think this is a perfectly natural response to the hacker.

But do I stop at one?

Psshhh. Of course not.

Keep in mind that as this is going on, I am giving live updates to said discord server on how the conversation is going.

It went something like this.

Hacker: listen to me! Me: peach peach peach peach peach peach Hacker: this is very important! Me: peach peach peach peach peach peach Hacker: you are in danger! You must call this ID. Me: peach peach peach peach peach Hacker: ok, don’t forget to call them.

And after many peaches I think they just kinda gave up.

But do I stop there?!

No. No I do not.

I go back to the DPXDC server and start typing.

That’s right.

I got the entire discord server to DM this person and spam the peach. All 233 of us (or at least of who was online at the time).

It was glorious.

But DID I STOP THERE!?

Hah! No.

ROUND TWO!

I might have been having too much fun with this.

In the end, the real Eros managed to get a new account and I’m pretty sure the hacker got blocked (or they blocked us, not sure which) and currently Eros 2.0 is trying to rebuilt and save as much data as possible. They also found our response to the hacker hilarious.

Remember! Internet safety everybody! Don’t click on mysterious links and if someone says you might get banned, do research first before anything. A single report (even on accident) won’t ban you or trolls would have taken advantage of that a long time ago. And no personal information! Not even between friends! The reason Eros still has most of their personal info intact was mostly because they didn’t want anyone (even someone friendly) to have access to their writing prompts and stories. So they were very lucky.

[alovesreading]

Chicken Shop Date | Part 4 |

By @imagine-that-100 and @alovesreading

Description of Part 1: Matty Healy x Reader (Female) | You and your best friend Amelia came up with a very simple idea of taking celebrities on awkward chicken shop dates, and somehow, it’s managed to become both of your jobs. In the past, you’ve found sitting across from some of the biggest stars on the planet and eating chicken nuggets easy. But then Amelia manages to score you a date with the man who you’ve been obsessed with since you were nineteen; Matty Healy.

Word Count: 18.7k

A/N: What better way to celebrate George’s birthday than a cute little Chicken Shop Date chapter! Me and @imagine-that-100 are so beyond excited to finally share this one with you lot, it’s such a wholesome one!!! We were giggling, blushing and kicking our feet writing it so we hope you love it! We absolutely love your reactions so please don’t be shy to share them with us, we’ve seen your love for this little story on here and on twitter and it makes us so giddy that you share our excitement over it. Hope you enjoy this one and thanks so much for reading! xx

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

| N’s Masterlist | A’s Masterlist |

~*~*~*~ December 25th ~*~*~*~

Christmas time never fails to fill you up with joy as you get to reunite with your family and just laugh, catch up and shower everyone with gifts, but you are completely sure it doesn’t come close to the way your heart swells up every time you get a new notification saying that you’ve got a message from Matty.

It all started when you woke up to a text of his that said, Why is sleeping at your parents home always so much better? x which made you cackle loudly.

Finding a way to twist his words to tease him, you text him back a quick, Is that a dig at my bed? You can stay on my settee then next time bitch xoxoxoxox

No, you can’t banish me to the settee again xx Matty fights back in a matter of seconds and continues to add, I simply refuse xx but what has you raising your eyebrows in surprise is when he finishes by saying, And call me a bitch again and I’ll have you on your knees apologising for it xxx

Biting your bottom lip, you type, Is that a threat or a promise? and shortly after that’s sent, you add a cheeky, … bitch x knowing just what that would mean.

He acted like he wasn’t impressed, and you could just picture his face as he sent, Wow, really? At 10am? xx

Hilarious you think that’d stop me xx You bite back and to add more fuel to the fire, you send him a petty, Plus you started it xxx to remind him it’s all his fault.

You clearly have forgotten his effect on you because your mind starts to wonder places it shouldn’t at this hour and you’re only brought back to reality when your Mum knocks on your door to tell you to come downstairs for breakfast.

Your family and the reminder of the plans for the rest of the week engrossed you enough to completely miss Matty’s text that he sent a little after your texting was interrupted.

It was time stamped an hour ago and it said, Thinking back to this, I shouldn't be surprised... and the whole spitting thing? x

The last bit has you frowning because you’re sure you’ve not told him about any of your preferences in that aspect. So you send him back a text that’s basically you playing dumb on it, Spitting thing?

Eagerly waiting for a response, you almost jump in your seat when ten minutes later he says, Is our date really not memorable to you at all? Ouch, I demand an apology.

Giggling at his dramatic ways, you continue to play dumb on it by saying, It is memorable but what are you talking about?

You can almost picture him rolling his eyes at you and sighing and you’re left hanging for a response for a couple of minutes until he comes back with the link to a video and a time stamp.

Clicking on it, you’re brought to your date and when you skip to the minute he’s instructed you to, you realise what he means.

The exact moment plays when you say, “And Amelia didn’t like the spit on the camera.” to which he answered, “Only Amelia didn’t like it? So you enjoyed it?” and right after you hear yourself answer with a, “Maybe.” you go back to your conversation with your cheeks heating up.

He added a, If that's not a spitting kink confession, idk what is baby x right after he sent the video and you have a quick think on how to conceal that.

How’d you know that wasn’t just a bit for the video? You try to play with him since you actually wanted to keep him guessing.

But he surprises you when he says, I can watch it back and tell exactly when you’re telling the truth now baby, you’re like an open book x And whilst you’re trying to gather yourself again after melting over that, he sends another text that has you burning up head to toe. This just assures us we’ll have proper fun later baby, so it’s a win really xx

So does this mean you’re into that… You almost hate how shy the text sounds but you’re once again completely overcome by the way he makes you feel.

Are the shows not proof enough? Comes through from him and his smirk comes to the forefront of your mind, completely sure he’s smirking at his screen after having sent that.

Trying to play it cool, you reply with, I think they only spark more questions x

You have to hold back a screech when he sends, Lucky for you baby, I have loads of answers xx

And this time, as you decide to go for a breather after it all, you give him exactly what he’s giving you back. I’d ask for a list but I sorta wanna work them out on the job xx

It was a mistake from you to not expect him to have a comeback to that so you choke on your spit when he says, You gonna get your hands dirty and find out? xx

But you’re fully determined to leave him breathless so with your self control clouded by your filthiest thoughts, you reply, Hands, chest, face, mouth… The list goes on xx

Fucking hell… If you had been on a call then you would’ve died at the groan he let out reading that, Baby why do you have to be so far away? x

On the other hand you are giggling away as your tummy flutters from his reaction and you continue teasing him to keep him on his toes. Alright control yourself, it’s only 2pm x

It bites you back when he sends, You’re a little brat, aren’t you? which has your heart going faster at the thought of hearing him say that to your face.

Hmm call me that again xx Your inhibitions are out of the picture at this point but he is making you go insane with such little effort. It was unfair really.

And what? He texts back, daring you to finish your statement.

But you don’t give him the pleasure of knowing, You’ll find out about that soon enough xx Now be good and go on celebrating baby Jesus’ birthday x.

As opposed to adult Jesus’ birthday? He answers to take the piss out of your wording, Also need I remind you I’m a raging atheist?x

You cackle out loud at the reminder of that Genius interview and you just can’t not send him a screenshot of the exact moment along with, Oh no need to remind me when this exists (I can hear that image) x

Matty knows just how to get you, though, because you’re blushing slightly embarrassed when he says, Obsessed much? You must’ve had that saved cause that was too quick x

You’d love that wouldn’t you? X You quickly reply not letting him get the pleasure of your silence so you’re the one to end the conversation with a bit more teasing, Go play with your new toys Matthew, talk to you in a bit xx

Even though you truly had wanted to text Matty again soon after that conversation took place, you’d gotten carried away around your family and it wasn’t until later in the evening that you’re able to sit down with a cup of tea beside you to talk with him.

You would’ve loved to continue teasing him through text but you want to see his face now so you decide to FaceTime him.

With the biggest grin on your face, you start the video call with a loud, “Merry Christmas!” as soon as he picks up and you can’t even find it in yourself to care how overly chipper you sound as you greet him.

“Merry Christmas baby!” Matty matches your enthusiasm and he’s beaming at you, he finds you glowing under the warm lights that come from the Christmas decorations around your parents home. “Have you had a nice day?” He asks with a soft look on his face, it was a joke how much he found himself to be missing you after he stayed at yours before you went away.

“Yeah it's been really good, how's your day been?” You’d rather hear him talk about his day since yours had been fairly normal, like any other Christmas.

“Yeah busy. So much family, so many questions.” Matty almost rolls his eyes, annoyed at the situation but now he’s escaped to his room for a bit and he gets to see you, he’s happy. But he pouts as he says, “Barely got to text you, but it’ll be more chill over the next few days.”

Pressing your lips together, you try to hide the big grin that wants to break on your face and you shake your head in amusement, “It's okay, my family have been keeping me busy too. I was forced into the kitchen, reason being I'm always eating too much fast food on my dates so my Grandma was making me cook.”

A smile tugs at the corner of his lips and he tilts his head to the side to ask, “She thinks you only eat chicken nuggets?”

Aware of how ridiculous that sounds, you chuckle “I think so.” And you’re about to say something else when you’re distracted by how adorable he looks with his messy curls, tired eyes and that soft smile of his. “You look cute by the way.”

Matty’s eyes crinkle at the corners when his smile gets bigger at your compliment, “Thanks baby, you do too.”

Right then you could only hope it was dark enough for him not to notice your cheeks tinting red. “What did you get for Christmas?” You switch the topic when you see the shadow of a smirk forming on his face.

“Got this nice cardigan that Mum had made for me.” He lifts one of his arms up to show the sleeves of the clothing piece and you can’t help but be in awe at the pretty pattern of it and how soft it looks.

“Looks very cosy.” You compliment effortlessly, wishing you could cuddle him at that very moment.

But then he lifts himself up more to show what he’s wearing under it, “Not as cosy as my hoodie.”

“Oh my god,” You giggle, “As if you have it on still.”

“Of course I do.” Matty assures with a slight frown to pretend like the prospect of not having it on still was ridiculous, “Best present I got, baby.”

Shaking your head in disagreement, you state, “I'm going out tomorrow to buy you something better.”

“No, don’t” He warns you sternly, “I’ll be fuming if you do.”

But you don’t listen to him, rolling your eyes you go against his wishes, “You can be fuming all you want, I've got something in mind that I think you'll like so I'll be getting it you, no arguments. I’m just sorry I didn't get it before.”

He pouts hearing you apologise for it, “You really don't have to get me anything.” Doing his best puppy eyes for you to listen to him.

Yet that doesn’t work, it only makes you want to get it for him even more. “I want to, so absolutely nothing more on the subject until I hand it to you.”

“And when will that be?” His inquiry is purely in hopes to know how long until he sees you again and maybe it being before what you’ve arranged on the last day of the year.

“New Year's Eve?” You reply but it sounds like a question since you’re not sure exactly when you’ll be coming back home.

He deflates a little at the fact that he won’t be able to see you earlier so he says, “I get home the day before?” in the same tone as your previous answer, again hoping the information brings you to see each other before the already planned day.

But you bite your bottom lip as you remember the texts you had earlier in the day, “Are you being cheeky again?”

“Only if you’ll let me.” Matty’s signature smirk is directed at you once again and you’re screeching on the inside.

“I’m going to refrain, you know… I think we should let the tension build.” Is your polite way of admitting that you could absolutely not be in bed with him and not fuck his lights out if he wanted to stay with you again.

He scoffs out a laugh, “Let the tension build or you can't trust yourself to keep your hands off me.”

“Okay, absolutely no need to call me out like that.” You point out in warning and then remind him in a simple way that it wasn’t only you with the wandering hands, “And speak for yourself.”

He doesn’t let you pin it all down on him though as he bluntly recalls, “I think it was you that pushed me down on your bed, not the other way around.”

“Matthew,” You hear the very distinctive voice of Denise ring through the phone and you want to die when she shouts, “I don't want or need to know that.”

“Oh my god, no.” Your hand is instantly over your mouth and your cheeks flame at what she’s just heard Matty say.

You know he’s got AirPods in so she couldn’t hear you but the fact she’d just heard him say that you’d pushed her son down onto your bed makes you want to curl up into a ball and die. That was not how you wanted Denise’s first impression of you to go.

“Don’t eavesdrop on a conversation then, Mum.” Matty scorns, his eyes presumably on her to the right of him and not on his phone at all.

“Maybe just close your bedroom door so I can’t hear in future.” You can hear Denise backchat, but then she asks, “Who’s the lucky lady anyway?”

Immediately, you want to hide under your blanket. This can’t be the way you meet his Mum. It can’t be, you’ll never live it down.

“Not on Christmas,” Matty thankfully saves you. But it seems she’s persistent as Matty stands up and starts moving around his bedroom so she can’t see his phone. Him scolding her does make you giggle though, “No Mum, absolutely not.”

And you hear a little of her argument, but ultimately Matty just ends up saying, “Baby, I’ll phone you back shortly.”

“Okay,” You nod, and he’s gone in a panic before you even have the chance to get your goodbye out.

You wait for him to call back as you scroll through your phone and catch up with Amelia on what your families have been like so far. You’re giggling away as she tells you what her Aunt got everyone when Matty calls you back about 40 minutes later.

He smiles when he hears your giggles die down as you answer, “Sorry about that, she wouldn’t leave me alone and I promised I'd protect you.”

You shake your head, not agreeing on how he’s putting it. “I honestly love Denise, Matty, it wouldn’t bother me.”

He raises his eyebrows like he’s concerned over your naivety, “It would, you just don't know it yet.”

“You’re so nasty.” You scold him but you’re trying not to laugh at the situation.

But Matty can just picture so clearly what would happen if you met his mum right then and continues to warn you, “You won't be saying that when she doesn’t stop texting you. She tends to go a bit too overboard far too quickly.”

“Listen if you’ve not scared me off I doubt your Mum will.” You take the opportunity to tease him and it makes you chuckle when he rolls his eyes at your antics.

“Yeah, sure. You keep telling yourself that.” His fake annoyance makes your laughter continue and you see how he can’t fight the smile that breaks out on his face.

Remembering how your conversation was cut short before, Matty asks, “What did you get off Dimz for Christmas?” wanting to hear more about your day.

“I don't know yet.” You sip on your tea, looking at the gifts you have for her untouched under your tree.

“How come?” Confusion written all over his face since he thought you were spending the day together too.

“We have our Christmas’ together tomorrow instead.” You start explaining, “We always want each other's reactions so we save our presents for each other for tomorrow.”

He grins knowing what this meant, “Perfect excuse to call again tomorrow and find out what you got.”

You melt inside at the way his face lights up at the prospect of another promised call, “You don’t have to have an excuse to phone me. Like even if you’re bored, it's fine. Me and Ames do it all the time.”

And you truly mean it. You would very much encourage it because the way that you feel every time he texts you is becoming your favourite thing.

“I'm afraid you’ll get tired of my voice.” Matty jokes to get a laugh out of you.

But his heart swells when you assure him, “If it's not happened in the past decade, I doubt it could happen now.”

He feels himself becoming more and more affected by the things you say so he plays it off like that was a boost of his ego and playfully says, “Obsessed!” He lets out a whistle exaggerating it all and your cheeks grow hot at his dramatic actions.

“You wish.” Is the only thing you can think of saying, aware that he has the advantage here with his knowledge of you.

And he proves just that when he smirks and backchats, “You’ve got a tattoo for one of my songs and a top exclusively stating that if anyone isn’t me, you’re not interested… So I don’t reckon I need to be wishing for anything, baby. It’s just facts.”

You sigh and roll your eyes, knowing this all was brought up to him by none other than your best friend, “I still want to kill Amelia for telling you that.” and you elect to not blame yourself for wearing said top to his gig a few weeks after he was told about it.

Matty just smirks at you through the phone, leaning closer when he says, “I have a feeling she has more to tell actually.”

Pressing your lips together you take half a second not to react to him because she knows far too much about you that you’re not entirely ready for Matty to know yet. He’s a big boy, he can find things out for himself.

“You better not even try to get her to speak.” You point a finger at him.

“Why?” Matty raises his eyebrows playfully, but there’s a suggestive tone to his voice when he asks, “What are you gonna do about it?”

You smirk back, not letting him affect you this time, you just flirt back, “It’ll end up poorly is all I’m saying.”

“Yeah whatever,” Matty narrows his eyes at you playfully, “I’m willing to bet your bedroom has at least one poster of me up on your wall.”

“Remind me to never FaceTime you in my bedroom whilst I’m here.” You allude to him being right without actually giving him confirmation and you make sure that he will never ever see your bedroom walls.

Matty laughs at that and the both of you fall into easy conversation. Him talking about his day and you both share lots of anecdotes about your friends and family.

Neither of you have it in you to stop grinning at the other, your laughter mixing together as more stories are shared which ends up in him promising to text Amelia so she can get him your funny childhood pictures you’ve just told him about. And it seems that the sole mention of her name was enough to summon her somehow.

A text from your best friend pops up at the top of your phone as you’re talking and your eyes go a little wide when you see, IF YOU'RE IGNORING ME BECAUSE YOU'RE ON THE PHONE TO YOUR MAN I'LL BE KEEPING YOUR CHRISTMAS PRESENTS WOMAN!!! LEAVING ME ON READ FOR AN HOUR! THERE'S ONLY ONE PERSON THAT’D MAKE YOU DO THAT!!! DON’T BECOME ONE OF THOSE GIRLS THAT GETS A MAN AND STARTS IGNORING THEIR BEST FRIENDS!!!!

“Oh Christ, she’s getting arsey I’m not texting her back. One second.” You swipe off FaceTime so Matty just appears in a small corner of your screen and you quickly tap on your iMessages.

“Don’t let your friendships die because of me.” Matty chuckles a little, knowing you well enough by now that you and Ameila love each other just as much as him and the guys love each other. Nothing on the planet could break you apart.

As Matty says that, you’re replying, Wow, calm your tits Dimz! Co-dependent much?!?!

“I was doing shots with her at one this morning, she can chill out.” As you send the text off, you shake your head a little, faking annoyance and tell Matty, “She’s coming round here tomorrow too, so she needs to calm down.”

“I’ll tell her to stop interrupting us if you want?” He can already imagine Amelia’s reaction to him telling her to leave you two alone and the way he could play it so she would freak out. “No don’t because that will open up another can of worms that I can't close.” You reply with a sigh, knowing she’d make such a big thing out of one single comment from him that would leave you to clean up the mess for weeks afterwards.

That sparks curiosity in him again, having the very brief knowledge about her incessant interrogation after what had happened yesterday. “She stopped questioning you about yesterday?”

You sigh a little before explaining, “Not for the whole ride home and she outed me to her Mum which was more embarrassing.” and you will your cheeks not to burn in response to you actually telling him this.

“Did you tell her what happened?” Matty can’t help but smirk when he asks you that.

At the same time, Amelia's reply comes through and it has you wanting to throw your phone and scream, Don’t be getting cocky with me now because you’ll be getting to reenact one of those smut scenes you used to read about religiously in a few days time x

“Yes,” You answer his question with a small faintly embarrassed smile, “And she still thinks I’m not telling her everything.” It makes the both of you chuckle, but then you remember what her Mum said and you tell him, “Linda thinks I was serious about being in my slut era.”

Not rising to her games, you just respond, Goodnight Amelia x and close the app before opening Matty back up to be your full screen, and you smile seeing his big grin at what you just said.

“Only for me I hope.” He says and your smile is switched for pursed lips and narrowed eyes.

And as he says that, you see another message come through at the top of your phone that reads, Stay grounded Y/N xxx and you can practically hear her laughing from your house. The little bitch.

You hate that she holds so much power over you. All you need is for her to not tell Matty how fucking crazy you once were until after your date on New Years. You’re so close, you can’t let her fuck it now.

You roll your eyes before you’re directing all your attention back to the man who loves teasing you. “And you can keep hoping.” You state with a forced blank face, trying to appear serious.

But he scoffs loudly and rolls his eyes at you, “As if you aren’t.” And he steals your refutation from your mouth when he adds, “Do I need to bring my previous arguments back?”

Your silence is loud as you bite your tongue remembering all that he knows and what he could find out so you just give up and settle for a defeated “No.”

Winning this has a triumphant smile glowing on his face and you wish you could be stronger and not give him the satisfaction of it causing your own smile. Matty hums and then finishes by saying, “That’s what I thought.” And even when you roll your eyes at him, your smile doesn’t falter, neither does your erratic heartbeat.

Matty Healy really is going to be the death of you.

~*~*~*~ December 26th ~*~*~*~

Just like he had promised he would do, Matty calls you the following day a few hours after Amelia left to go back to her parents. You’d once again been texting Matty all morning, so he knew when was best to FaceTime you, and as soon as he was able to escape from his family again, it was the first thing he did.

“What did you get off Dimz?” He eventually asks after greeting each other. Having thought about it for quite a bit now and the curiosity is eating away at him.

And it only gets worse when you instantly reply with, “I don't want to talk about it.”

“What’s that meant to mean?” He’s taken aback by your point blank refusal to answer a simple question, and he can only think it means Amelia has caused some trouble so his curiosity grows stronger by the second.

Your defeated sigh makes him glow in anticipation of the answer, “Let’s just say the presents were themed and you will never ever see them.”

“Oh my god, tell me what you got right now.” Matty can’t take you being vague with him now because it only makes him more eager to find out.

Seeing your face, he knows you’re keeping your ground so before you even have said “Nope.” his camera pauses for a few seconds and you know he’s minimised your Facetime call to go somewhere else and by the way you can see the camera slightly shake, you ask, “Who are you texting?”

“Your best mate.” He states bluntly, almost done with his text.

The second you hear that fall from his lips, you let out a loud, “No!” as your blood runs cold and your heart drops.

Matty shrugs, sending the text without caring about your reaction, “Too late.”

And he finds you so adorable when you huff and cross your arms in annoyance. You can only say, “I hope you get lost in her dms.” since it’s exactly what you’re hoping to happen so that it saves you some great embarrassment.

“Please,” Matty waves you off, “I’m on her close friend's story.”

Once he tells you that, your heart drops once more. “No, please tell me you’re not.”

“Oh I am.” He smirks as he nods his head, very satisfied by the content he’s gotten to see from both of you. “I’ve seen you drunkenly dancing to my songs baby. Please continue with those moves for me more often.” You know exactly what he means and it makes you have to hide behind your hands as your cheeks start burning up.

But then he makes it even worse for you when he cheekily adds, “Preferably when I’m there and you’re pressed against me.”

You have no idea how you don’t scream out loud at that because you certainly just hear a deafening scream inside you. Taking a deep breath, you let your hands fall from your face and you try your hardest to appear unaffected by his words. “Maybe if you stop pushing my buttons you’ll get some of that on a lucky day.”

It isn’t necessarily an empty promise because in all honesty you would absolutely love that, but you know it’ll be a guessing game to know when the chance for that to happen will appear.

He salutes like he’s just received orders from a general and then proceeds to ask, “What did you get Amelia?” with the fakest innocence as he’s now trying to play good boy.

You shake your head at him first, but then tell him, “Aitch merch.” and both of you burst out laughing. Eventually you end up telling him that you got her a lot more than some shit Aitch merch but that was the funniest thing you got her.

An hour after the subject moved on and you completely forgot about the curly haired singer trying to see what presents you got from your best friend, Matty takes you by surprise when he excitedly gasps, “Now that is the sexiest blanket in the world.”

“Nooooo,” Your eyes go wide immediately, not even needing context about what he’s clearly just seen because you just know.

Amelia’s Christmas presents… All you can think is, Kill me now.

You’re so embarrassed as you complain, “You’re not meant to see it! How have you found it?!”

He lets out a cackle first before he finally answers, “She sent it to me but she's just put it on her story too and tagged us.”

“No!” You throw a small hissy fit as you open Instagram to check the damage. And when you see the picture she took of you proudly holding up your new blanket with a big goofy smile on your face, you yell, “The little bitch.”

You want to die because this new blanket Amelia got you, wasn’t just any regular blanket. This one has the picture of you and Matty standing beside each other, with you in your Robbers girl get up, after your chicken shop date, and it's huge. Yes you absolutely love it, but you did not want Matty to see it.

“That’s fucking amazing,” He continues to laugh and though you love hearing his chuckles, you’re too mortified to properly appreciate them. “Why didn’t I think of that?”

You frown at him like he’s lacking all forms of critical thinking, “Because you’re not a fucking psycho like she is.”

“I can see you absolutely love it from these pictures, do not lie to me.” Matty defends Amelia then, and it’s just the best set scenario because he can just continue to take the piss out of you. “That's probably the best present you’ve ever received.”

Whilst he is correct, apart from the fact he bought you presents himself so they will hold a very special place in your heart forever, you don’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that.

“Oh right ‘cause it’s you?” You roll your eyes at him playfully as your sarcasm is painfully obvious in your tone.

But Matty doesn’t let it faze him because he says, “Anything to do with me it’s always the best baby, you should know this already.” with the most smug expression on his face.

Looking at him with an eyebrow raised, you answer with, “I wonder how you can walk around with such a big head.”

You should’ve expected him to be funny as he says, “I wobble a little sometimes but yeah it’s alright, thanks for asking.”

Fully having to swallow your laugh and bite the inside of your cheek to keep your stern face, you simply sigh, “I hate you.”

And it becomes another sigh when he smirks at you and replies, “Well, baby, I doubt that.”

~*~*~*~ December 27th ~*~*~*~

“Hey baby.” Matty greets you with a big smile on that cheeky face of his.

You grin, “Hey Matty.” and you want to silently scream at how good he looks today.

He looks well rested and really bright and happy. His curls are unruly, just how you like them and already you want to silently scream where he can’t see you because he looks so fucking fine.

No one should be looking so good at almost 1pm the day after boxing day. The 27th is a day to do fuck all. All you’ve done today so far is make breakfast for your family and wrap the present you went out and got Matty yesterday.

“What are you up to today?” Matty asks you and you give him the boring answer of answering your emails for upcoming work events and more celebrities you have to research before the Golden Globes.

But before you have to do that, you want to speak to him, so after you finish explaining your process, you ask him, “What are you up to anyway? Have you had a change in scenery?”

You’re sure he has. It doesn’t look like his childhood bedroom that you’ve come to know when he gave you a little room tour.

“Yeah,” Matty nods, smiling at the fact you could tell, and he spins himself around so his background changes behind him as he’s explaining, “We’re somewhere in the Peak District in this house that Mum rented out for Lincoln's birthday today. Big family meal later, chefs coming in and everything.”

“That sounds like so much fun.” You can imagine how big and stunning the house might be.

He shrugs, knowing already what it’s like to have these family events and how he does enjoy them but he half wishes you were there with him. The one thing keeping him from saying it out loud is how he knows if you were there you’d be suffocated with questions.

“Hope so, but until about an hour before I’m gunna be bored as fuck and you told me to call when I’m bored so here I am bothering you again.” Matty ends up saying with a soft smile on his face, hoping to see on your face that you’re just as excited to always be talking to him like he is.

Frowning slightly you correct him, “I’m literally doing fuck all you’re not bothering me.”

That has his smile growing bigger and as he settles on his bed, getting comfortable to continue speaking to you, he asks, “What have you been up to?”

“Other than what I already told you, I’ve been really lazy and napped after I had breakfast.” A little embarrassed smile shows on your face, still a bit shy when being so open and honest to him about simple things like that.

You don’t think you’ll ever be over the fact that he said he would listen to a podcast if you were the one talking, you’d like to think that comment on your date was real, and with the way he acts you’re certain it was sincere. You’re still breathless over the fact that he’s always so attentive when listening to you talk about your pretty tame days compared to what his days look like as a musician.

And right then Matty reminds you just why, despite it all, he makes you forget everything to just focus on the way he makes you feel. “Wrapped in your new blanket?” He teases you with that smirk of his and your cheeks instantly heat up.

Trying not to smile at his satisfaction from getting you blushy again, you roll your eyes and reply, “I’m going to need you to stop referencing it please and thank you.”

Matty hums like he’s thinking about it, lips pressed and brows furrowed for a few seconds, only for it all to turn back into a smirk when he finally says, “Never.”

Your facetime ends up turning into just keeping each other company, with the conversation never really dying out. Yes there were quiet minutes throughout the call, when you were typing out an important email or Matty was reading something or other that he didn’t want to bother you with.

But you found yourselves aimlessly chatting, with time passing you by far too quickly for either of you to notice. You were googling various actors and directors who were going to be in attendance at the Golden Globes and making notes on them and because Matty was curious, he made you tell him everything that you’d found on them. He wanted your opinions on what you’d seen and if you thought they were any good or not.

Both of you laughed when Andrew Garfield was mentioned and you told him straight up that you weren’t doing any research on him because you practically knew it all. You’ve seen his new show Under The Banner Of Heaven so you didn’t really have to do much more fact finding on him as he was certainly one of your and Amelia’s favourite actors.

That in itself though, sparked Matty’s curiosity about if you put this much effort into researching your chicken shop dates, and then the inevitable question of ‘did you research me?’ to which you found your cheeks burning when you admitted to him that you didn’t have to do any for him or the band. As Matty’s smirk grew, you’re sure his ego did too and you tried your best to get back to your work as he continued teasing you for it.

Matty kept you entertained by going back to your research and adding some of his knowledge about the people you were googling about. Films that he’d liked from certain directors or intricate facts about their careers and how they got to where they are now, some actors small roles when they were younger or parts they had auditioned for and didn’t get.

Once again, speaking to the curly haired man is the easiest thing in the world. So much so, that you don’t realise just how long you’ve been talking to him until your phone pops up with the alert that you only have 20% battery remaining. And knowing it was near enough fully charged before the call started made you look at the time and you gasped when you saw it was 5:47pm.

Matty questions you on your shocked expression, wondering what had you gasping, but then it’s him who has the same reaction as you ask almost rhetorically, “How the fuck has five hours passed?”

“You’re kidding?” His jaw drops and he taps the screen to check the time on his own phone and he’s genuinely just as surprised to see you were right.

Talking to you felt like no time at all. If Matty had to guess he would have taken a shot in the dark that you two had been talking for a little over an hour and a half but no more than that.

But now he looks out of the bedroom window and sees it's dark and he realises that he’s got to be downstairs in the next 10 minutes before his Mum will undoubtedly come and shout at him for not being punctual.

“Fucking hell,” Matty gasps, immediately putting his propping the phone up against the wall of the desk he was sitting at before he starts scrambling about, “I was meant to get changed before dinner.”

Despite your best efforts, when you see him pull his top over his head revealing his chest you pretend like it doesn’t make your heart stutter for a second. Immediately flustered, especially when his next move is to walk around to the suitcase on his bed and unbuckle his jeans and drop them, leaving him in just his black Calvins.

You try and fail to keep your eyes solely on your laptop instead of your phone, but as Matty is pulling on his black dress trousers, he’s smirking back at you trying to act unbothered when you so clearly are.

The curly haired man teases, “You’re entertaining trying to not look at your phone right now.”

To try and save some embarrassment at being called out, you just admit, “I’m just trying to be a decent human being.”

“Leave your morals elsewhere because I very much enjoy your eyes on me baby.” Is what you hear next and if that’s not a green light you don't know what is.

However, that does not mean that you’re okay when you look back at your phone to see him picking out his white shirt and shrugging it on, his chest still on display, and his new tattoo standing out even more to you.

You can feel just how hot your cheeks have gone with this view you have though, and the fact you were caught out makes your embarrassment worse, but you sort of embrace it as you let yourself shamelessly watch him button up his shirt.

At the same time, you ask him with mortification clear in your voice, “Will there ever be a day where you don’t make my cheeks burn?”

It’s not like it’s even your fault at this point. He just looks so good and he’s confident in the most casual way about flaunting his attractiveness off to you. His slutty little waist that becomes defined when he tucks his shirt in, not to mention the way those trousers hug that peachy arse of his.

You need it to be New Years Eve stat. You don’t know how much longer you can take.

“Not if I can help it.” Matty smirks at you getting closer, making you blush again when he winks at you. And after he chuckles at you hiding behind your hand for a moment, he sees that he really has to head down, so he announces, “I've gotta run baby. I’ll message you though.”

“No, just go and enjoy your night.” You tell him, not wanting him to be on his phone when he should be spending time with his family. Smiling, you say, “I hope the food is good.”

“Thank you, I'm sure it will be.” Matty grins and then blows you a kiss before waving, “See ya later baby.”

“Bye Matty.” You grin, catching his kiss before blowing one back at him.

Both of you end the call with massive smiles on your faces and hearts beating a lot faster than they should be.

~*~*~*~ December 28th ~*~*~*~

It’s a few minutes past 1am and you feel like you’re back in school since you’re still doing your research on the endless list of people from the film industry that’ll be attending the event.

After you’d ended your call with Matty earlier you had wanted to go back into it but your thoughts had distracted you and you had needed to go on your phone to aimlessly scroll so your brain would shut up.

After that, Amelia had given you a call just so you could update each other on how you were going about it and sharing the information you had so far on everyone. Though that had ended up on Amelia finding out you still had a third of people to properly look through and she gave you a playful scolding for ‘letting your man distract you from work’.

You’re almost done now, only two people left and since you’re really tired you decide to put everything away and get ready to go to bed, deciding to finish the last two early in the morning tomorrow. After you come back from the bathroom with your fingers cold from the freezing water, you practically throw yourself on bed and get under the covers the quickest you could.

Forcing your eyes to close so you could get to sleep faster ends up being interrupted by your phone vibrating next to you where it's placed on the bedside table.

Frowning, you fully think it’s Amelia again but you find it so weird she’d call this late considering how she is about her early sleep schedule when she’s not out. But once you turn your phone around to see who it is, you’re met with a facetime from Matty coming through.

Answering rather quickly, “Baby?” is the first thing he says in a loud whisper as if he was trying not to make noise but failing.

“Hey Matty.” Your voice sounds hoarse from how long you’ve not spoken as you’ve been keeping quiet for everyone sleeping at your parents’ house.

That’s when Matty realises you’re snuggled up in bed already and so his eyes widen and a worried expression appears on his face. “Did I wake you up? Shit sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up.”

You chuckle at the way he’s slurring his words, and now seeing how pink his cheeks are, you can tell he’s drunk. “It's fine, don't worry I’m just being a Grandma and going to sleep early.”

“Hottest fucking Grandma in the world if you’re calling yourself that.” He states with such conviction, it has you wanting to screech into your pillows.

You’re so glad it's dark in your room so he can’t see the way you get all embarrassed. You hide into your pillow a little more but you distract him anyway by asking, “How was your night?”

“Was fucking mental baby,” Matty tells you as he puts his phone down so he can still see you, and he starts unbuttoning his shirt as he explains, “These chefs started singing and it was like a full on opera… I’m so confused as to who actually cooked the meal for us because I really dont think it was them two now.”

Your eyes wander a little as he finishes undoing his shirt, “That sounds like so much fun.”

His smile turns into a pout as he takes his shirt off and tosses it somewhere behind him. “It would have been so much more fun if you were here too.” Right after he says that, he’s grabbing his phone and plopping himself down on the bed.

You grin as he rests his elbow on the bed and his chin on his hand, “You're cute, but I bet you had a great time with your family.”

“You would have loved it. Food was amazing,” Matty’s mouth water a little reminiscing about how good it all was but when his eyes are drawn back to your face–which he can barely see–, his chest tightens thinking about just how much he wants to see you again.

So in his drunk state, he confesses, “I miss you baby… so much.”

And you can’t hide from him the fact that you feel the exact same way, so you reply with an honest, “I miss you too.”

“Is that weird to say?” He asks out but before you can even assure him that it isn’t, he continues his ramble, “I hope it's not, I just really like you and I've not felt so myself around someone in a long time. You make it easy baby, I really miss you.”

You are melting hearing him so easily say that and it has you pinching yourself to make sure you aren’t dreaming.

The feeling is reciprocated and you make sure to tell him just that, “It's not weird to say at all. I feel the same, not felt as comfortable as I do around you with anyone new for a long time.”

Matty has the biggest smile on his face after you say that, his insides coating with this warmth he’s not felt in a while and as his eyes close from how big his grin is, he continues with his sincere words, “I really like you.”

Biting your lip, you feel your stomach doing somersaults, “I really like you too.”

“I just wish you were here. I wish I was cuddling you again. You keep me warm. Helps me sleep.” He admits it all, and it’s especially that last bit that has your heart growing in size because you’ve not heard that he has trouble finding sleep lately.

You’re sure if you try to give him a cohesive answer, you’ll fail so you go straight for a little joke so you can calm yourself down at least for a few seconds. “Maybe you should have got yourself a heated blanket.”

But Matty makes it so hard to collect yourself when he rolls over on his back and you see him shaking his head, “No, I’d rather have you.”

The way his curls fall messily over the pillow, and how pretty he looks as his face softens from his exhaustion, has you wishing so hard that you were there beside him and that time would go faster just so it could be New Years and you could have him all to yourself again.

“Me and my heated blanket?” You joke once again with a little smirk on your face that he can’t really see from how dark it is and the way his eyes keep closing against his will.

“Might consider if it was your better blanket.” Matty smirks and forces his eyes open to see your reaction, which ends up being a little giggle, “You know, the one with me all over.”

“Of course you do.” You reply with your smile still unwavering on your face.

In his drunken mind he gets the tiniest bit defensive then, “I’m better than that blanket though.”

And you give him the pleasure of agreeing with him, “Yeah, I prefer the real deal.” It’s not even a burden to admit that because you would take cuddling him over anything, any day.

Matty can’t stop his giggles and his grin grows bigger at your answer. “I'm so excited for New Years. I can't wait to take you out.”

It really is all he can think about, counting down the days wasn’t enough anymore and with the way he always keeps his eyes on the hours ticking by, knowing it was an hour closer he’d be in your company again. He’s at the point now where he’s eagerly awaiting a text back from you all the time, hoping it's you calling him and not someone else.

And hearing you say, “I'm excited too.” makes him happier than he’ll ever admit.

You’re just smiling so brightly at him and he can see it dimly lit by your phone, “I think you’re gorgeous you know?” Copying your position, he lays on his side and snuggles his pillow, “I really do. You’re hot as fuck but you’re also really gorgeous.”

You have to move your phone for a second, aiming the camera to the ceiling just so you can silently scream into your pillow and thanks to his hazy mind, he misses the few seconds it takes you to let it out.

“Thank you Matty.” You finally say after you’ve brought your phone back where he can see your face.

“See? Look at you!” The brightness of your phone lit up your face and Matty found it so fucking adorable seeing you with your cheek pressed against the pillow and your messy hair, tucked in with the covers up to your chin and that grin of yours he was growing obsessed with.

“I wish I could kiss you right now.” He confesses with a sigh, making your heart beat erratically in your chest.

“Matty…” Is all that you can mutter in almost a whine as if you’re pleading for mercy on your heart.

But he doesn’t stop and when he continues saying, “What? I really enjoy kissing that pretty face of yours.” You just hide your face into your pillow, needing to at least have a break of how he’s looking at you because you can only take so much.

“No, don’t hide.” He quietly complains, making you turn back to see him on your screen and you’re about to laugh at his frown but the second he catches a glimpse of your face again, he says, “There we go.” and you’re back being an utter mess.

Your free hand covers your face that’s burning up at every little thing he keeps saying and it’s your turn now to complain about it all, “It’s so unfair!”

It almost sounds like you’re throwing a fit and he finds that hilarious so he cackles before asking, “What’s unfair?”

There’s no reason for hiding anymore, not when you’ve both been admitting many things throughout the whole call. And you know he’s saying all this because of the alcohol making it easier for him to say this all out loud to her but you hope so much that you can hear him say all of it again when he’s sober.

So pouring a bit of your heart out you answer his question, “How easily you make me go like this.”

At this point you should really know that everything to come out his mouth will have you in shambles, because that’s exactly how you feel when he replies, “Well then it’s unfair for me too because I’m a proper mess for you baby.” And he gives you more to add to the list of things that will replay in your mind forever when he continues his confessions, “Think about you all the time.”

“I can’t.” You mumble instantly, everything sending you into a brief state of disbelief along with burning cheeks and a massive smile that won’t leave your face. You hide behind your hand once again and Matty giggles with a loopy smile, loving seeing you react to him like this, but his eyes keep closing from how tired he is.

It’s endearing watching him try and continue the conversation, and you answer him as you watch him try his best not to fall asleep on you. There's another few minutes of conversation before you get his attention again and his eyes reluctantly peel open.

“Yeah?” Matty asks, but when you see his eyes focus on his phone, your heart beats a little faster seeing the way he smiles in response to seeing you.

“You need to close your curtains and turn your big light off so you can go to sleep.” You tell him because at this rate he’s just going to fall asleep as he is.

Matty hums in response, knowing you’re right, but he also can’t help but tease, “You just want me to take my pants off.” because he realises he’s still half dressed.

And when you just stutter for a response, not expecting him to say that, Matty giggles a little and the noise makes you smile. “I love teasing you.” Matty says as he gets himself up, bringing you with him to draw the curtains.

“I know you do.” You smile, and the singer can tell you’re embarrassed by him admitting that. But he loves it when you say, “I’ll have to get you back soon.”

“You can tease me anytime you like, baby.” Matty grins as you watch as his screen descends into darkness accompanied by the noise of the light switch.

As your cheeks grow warmer, you also hear the sound of his trousers presumably being unzipped and the shuffle of him getting them off. But the camera eventually settles with just the faint glow of his phone on his pretty face which is snuggling into his pillow again.

“Come get in bed with me baby.” He tiredly mumbles, “I need a cuddle.”

“I’m there in spirit.” You tell him and you find it comical that the man that claims he doesn’t sleep well with no one beside him is once again almost asleep as soon as his head hits his pillow.

His eyes are closed again, and the more he talks the slower his words come which makes you smile. He’s clearly a tired boy and you’re tired yourself so you decide to call it a night.

You softly say, “Get some sleep Matty, yeah?”

“Okay baby.” Matty nods very slightly, his eyes still closed though. But he smiles as he says, “You too.”

“I will.” You assure him, your heart bursting during this whole interaction.

But it hits you a little more when after a beat of silence he repeats himself, “I miss you.”

“I miss you too.” Your chest is truly aching with all the feelings you have stored for him.

Despite him almost being asleep, he finds it in himself to tell you, “Imma call you again tomorrow so we can plan our date, okay?”

“Okay.” You nod, despite him not being able to see you.

The sincerity in his voice has you smiling too as he says, “I'm so excited for New Years.”

“Me too.” You grin.

“Night night baby, speak to you tomorrow.” Matty mumbles, his face fully pressed into his pillow now.

You take a few seconds to memorise the sight, before you softly say, “Goodnight Matty.” and end the call.

~*~*~*~

This morning you decided you would let Matty rest, as after a night drinking you usually want to stay in bed for the majority of the morning so you’ve left him to it. You wanted to text him wishing him good morning and that you hoped his head was okay after all the wine, but you didn’t want his phone to go off and disturb his sleep, so you left it.

Instead you busied yourself, you went out and did the food shopping for the family even though you were leaving in the next few days. Regardless, you went out and did it, and as you were half way through unpacking it all and putting it away into various cupboards, your phone starts vibrating and when you take it out of your pocket you see it’s Matty FaceTiming you.

“Morningggg!” You answer excitedly as the call connects and you prop your phone on the windowsill so he can see you.

Instantly you’re met with a loud groan, and when you look at your phone, you giggle seeing that Matty’s face is all scrunched up with his head still in his pillow.

“I’m far too hungover for you to be this chipper so early on.” Matty says as he turns his brightness down on his phone a little, his eyes being far too sensitive to your light setting. “I called because I thought you’d be half asleep like me.”

“I’m sorry baby, I’ve been out this morning.” You lean forward over the worktop so you can see him properly, and you grin seeing how cute and tired he is, “I'm ready for the day.”

You don’t realise you’ve even done it, but Matty grins at you when he asks, “Did you just call me baby?”

Knowing he was right and that you must have done it, you try to maintain some confidence instead of immediately shying away like you’re used to. You ask him with raised eyebrows, “Is that not allowed?”

“It’s allowed,” Matty nods, entirely amused yet he also really loves that you said it, “But I just didn’t expect it.”

You hum, letting yourself smile at him, but you change the subject, “How are you feeling?”

“Rough.” The curly haired brunette admits, “Had one too many glasses of wine.”

Even though you could tell that last night, you coo, “Aw no.” as you don’t want him feeling unwell.

Matty lets out a long sigh before he snuggles back into his pillow, he tells you, “I need a cuddle baby.”

“Wrap a blanket around yourself and consider me giving you one.”

“Not good enough, I need you in my arms.” He says as he pulls his duvet up around his shoulders and pouts at you.

You can’t stop smiling at him as you tell him, “If I could teleport, I’d be there in a heartbeat.”

It warms his heart immensely, but so does yours when he coos, “Need you.”

“Aw Matty,” You chest aches for him, you wish you could spend a full day cuddled beside him, it's a crime you can’t yet. “Don’t make me feel bad I can’t be there.”

The curly haired man chuckles a little, but he asks you, “Can you just take me about your day with you? Podcast me.”

And you’re really not going to argue with him. You chat a little as you put your shopping away, and you do it leisurely because you always find yourself looking back at him.

You both joke a little bit about the shit that you are doing and more boring plans for both of your days, but you’re not really surprised that after forty minutes or so Matty’s eyes have fallen shut. You only notice after you finish telling him a random story from your childhood, and you see that he’s doing the exact same thing as last night.

Even today, it's still just as endearing seeing him snuggled into his pillow, and it warms your heart that he feels comfortable enough to fall asleep around you. Once again, you take a mental picture of him like that, longing to be seeing him like this in person preferably with you in his arms again.

You watch him for another minute before you catch yourself and how odd it really is of you to do. All you can do is blame it on the mental turn of events that now somehow you get to see the man you’ve fancied since you were 19 on your phone falling asleep listening to your stories that he asked to hear.

Life is fucking crazy, but you’ve never been more grateful for everything thats happened for you to get here.

You whisper, “Sleep well Matty.” before you reluctantly end the call.

~*~*~*~

“Hi.” Matty shyly greets you when you pick up, you recognise he’s wearing his Chicken Shop Date hoodie, his curls look freshly washed and the visual makes you smile even harder.

“Heyyy!” You reply just as enthusiastically as you had earlier and it’s all because you’re really growing fond of these calls of yours and you think it’ll be a habit you’d really like to actually adopt and it not only being because you’re away for the holidays on the eve of your date.

He grins at your tone but it falters a bit when he says, “I’m so sorry I fell asleep on you.”

“Don’t apologise, it's fine. You were really tired, it's fine.” You assure it hadn’t been anything to apologise for, you actually are still thinking about how pretty he looked in his slumber, all calm and soft features. It had you asking time to run so you could see it next to you once more.

But he’s stubborn as he thinks it was rude of him to fall asleep when you were talking so he tries again, “It’s not fine, I apologise.”

You’re not having it so with a stern look on your face you simply say, “Matty.” to make him stop.

It’s a short-lived expression of yours because when he automatically replies, “Baby.” your cheeks start to burn and you have to look away.

Matty chuckles when he catches the way you roll your eyes and your hands come to press against your hot cheeks, “Really it just takes me calling you baby to get you all embarrassed?”

Shaking your head without looking at him, you only say, “No comment.” knowing that he already has an idea of that being a statement and there’s no need to ask about it.

A few seconds pass and your hands are still on your cheeks, only this time your hair has fallen over your face and he can’t properly see you, and he wants to see your face when he tells you about the news for your date on New Year's Day.

His voice is soft when he says, “Don’t hide baby.”

And you get flashbacks to the night before so, “Matty, not again.” leaves your lips subconsciously, once again with that subtle begging tone since you know that whenever he starts saying things like that your chest tightens in a way that you’re not sure is healthy.

“What do you mean again?” Matty frowns utterly confused, he doesn’t remember saying that earlier.

You pause for a second to see if he’s joking but seeing his face stay blank has you laughing. “Oh, you don’t remember all that you said last night?” You tease him about it, your brain already liking what this means.

“No.” He replies with a frown, wary of what he could’ve said for you to react like this.

“I mean, it wasn’t that bad.” You start saying, fighting hard against letting it show that you’re about to mess with him, taking the best out of this opportunity really. “Do you remember calling me a gilf?”

It hadn’t necessarily happened like that but referring to his hot grandma comment that way made his face contort in the funniest confused expression that made you almost burst out laughing.

“What the fuck no? Why would I call you a gilf?” Matty tries hard to think about any reason for him to call you that but he can’t come to any conclusions.

He wants to know the context but his curiosity is left unattended when you only shrug and say, “I don't know but you did.”

“Fucking hell.” He swears under his breath, scorning himself for being such a loose mouth when drunk.

Smirking, you continue the teasing recap, “Do you remember begging for a cuddle?”

“No but I'm not surprised, this room is freezing.” That one lets him find a bit of relief since it wasn’t weird and he hopes the rest of what he said stays the same.

But he’s laughed at by his past drunk self when you continue with, “What about how much you missed me?”

“Wow, I really play it cool when I’m drunk, don't I?” He chuckles a little but he focuses on the way you seem so satisfied remembering everything, like you actually liked hearing all of it and that is enough for him to feel settled about it all.

Until you decide to play with him a little.

“Wasn’t the half of it baby.” Your smirk grows, as the cogs in your brain turn and you finally think of something that could get the best reaction out of him, “You also said something about going through my Instagram… You know, for my pictures.”

His heart drops hearing you say that and you see him freeze like he’s been caught red handed, “I told you about that?!”

And it’s when his head goes into his hand that you’ve stumbled across something you never got a second imagined would be true.

You gasp loudly, “Oh my god! What?!” is all you can almost yell in disbelief and when you see him looking incredibly concerned about it all, you burst out laughing. “Matthew! You’re nasty!” You playfully scorn between loud cackles, you cannot believe he actually just admitted to that.

“Wait, what?!” He quickly says, not truly understanding why you’re reacting like this if he had said that the night before, “Didn’t you just say I said that?”

His eyes are wide and his jaw is hanging as he’s fully shocked, it all has you doubling over in laughter, truly incapable of catching your breath. “I was joking about that.” You clear up as you finally are able to calm down and then another cackle leaves you, knowing now you have something valuable to get him back whenever he tries to tease you.

You sigh, a smirk tugging at the corners of your lips, “Oh my fucking god.”

Matty’s hands are over his face again now, entirely embarrassed and he pleads, “Stopppp.” as his fingers drag down his cheeks.

But you’re absolutely loving this. “Oh this is so good to know.” You say excitedly.

“Why are you like this?” Matty sighs, his cheeks slowly getting more red and you’re absolutely loving every second.

“Can’t believe you just outed yourself like that,” You laugh, knowing that this fact that you’ve stumbled across is doing wonders for your ego, “You’re so easy, aren’t you?”

Matty pouts, “You’re being mean now.” as he tucks his curls behind his ear, something that you know by now he does when he’s a little nervous.

“If you think this is mean, you’ve seen nothing yet, big boy.” You tease, still smirking.

Matty grins and raises his eyebrows suggestively hearing you call him that, “You can call me that again.”

“Absolutely not.” You chuckle, but you keep the power you currently have over him when you state, “I’m curious now, though.”

“No you are not.” Matty shakes his head, knowing exactly what your next sentence is going to be.

“Yes,” You smirk, “And you’re gonna tell me what your favourite picture of mine is.”

“I’m not.” Matty shakes his head, trying not to show you his embarrassed smile and he can feel his face flame even more.

“Yes you are.” You demand, but he shakes his head again, so you plead, “Baby, please?”

How can he deny you when you call him baby and you’re just staring at him all doe eyed and eager. He embarrassingly admits, “The one at the Miu Miu party. Not you and Amelia, just the one of you.”

“Oh yes,” You smile, remembering what you were wearing and the picture you posted on Instagram fondly. You big yourself up, “I looked fucking hot in that mini skirt suit.”

“You certainly did, baby.” Matty smirks, agreeing with you after he unhides behind his hand and releases a long sigh.

“Right, wipe that smirk off your face because I want you embarrassed again.” You grin, not letting this go whilst his cheeks are still pink.

Matty puts on a brave face and acts unbothered now though, “Well I’m not anymore.”

“Sure you aren’t,” You tease him, “You’re sure you’re not embarrassed after you’ve just admitted to fucking your fist to my pictures?”

Phrasing it like that has Matty’s eyes jumping wide open. His dick twitches in response to your words and the various memories of him actually doing that whilst he was away on tour and the majority of this past week.

Matty says your name hoping it’ll make you stop, “Y/N.”

“Oh Y/N now is it?” You grin, finding him even more amusing now.

All he can do is sigh, and he looks straight at you as he admits, “You’re driving me insane.”

“I sure hope so.” You smile, enjoying every sweet second of his reaction, “Quite like this turn of events.”

Matty pleads, “Stop.”

“What?” You grin, acting all innocent, “I’m not saying anything.”

Matty runs his hand through his curls and sighs into the distance, as he can’t look directly at you for a few moments which amuses you further. And when he does look back at you, you love seeing him not be as cool and confident as you know he usually is with you.

“You’re never gonna let me live this down are you?” He asks you, and you hope that you’ll be able to draw this reaction out of him again sometime.

“Never.” You confirm, grinning like a fool, absolutely loving how sheepish he currently looks.

You understand why he likes doing this to you now.

“Can’t wait for you to see my Golden Globes dress.” You bite your lip loving the way his eyes seem to light up at the mere mention of it, but then roll back when you add, “Might ask for the thigh slit to be even higher.”

Matty lets out a groan of pleasure at the mere thought and the noise makes you press your thighs together. Thankfully the man can’t tell as his eyes are closed as he’s groaning, “You’re going to murder me.”

You chuckle a little at that and nod once he looks back at you. This might be the best news of your life.

Matty Healy has cum to the thought of you. Life goal achieved. Next goal is to make him cum in person, and hopefully he will return the favour so you can die a very very happy woman.

“What about the one where I'm in my GQ awards dress at the hotel?” You have to ask, because that is one of the others that you think he’d use. “Did you like that one?”

“Yeah, I liked those ones too.” Matty reluctantly admits, loving but hating the fact this has you all excited.

“Mhm, bet you did.” You tease him again, “Dirty boy.”

“Don’t start with that.” He sighs like it pains him to hear those words come from your mouth, but it’s a pain caused by not having you right there with him because a second later he’s smirking at you through the screen, “Are you trying to get me going?”

You match his smirk, your tummy fluttering at the way he’s looking at you, “Should I be?”

Matty continues teasing you so the previous conversation is dropped, smirking even more at the way you seem to be recoiling into yourself under his gaze, “Dunno, depends on which mood you’re in, baby.”

But you know what he’s trying to do, so you bring it all up over again, “I don’t think I really need to do much now, though. Can just show you my Instagram account from now on.”

He lets out a long sigh, his face completely falling after your words, “Oh you love knowing this, don’t you?”

To taunt him more, you nod eagerly with the biggest grin on your face, feeling triumphant really, “Absolutely. I have you right here.” You point at the palm of your hand, eyes narrowed playfully at him and nose slightly scrunched as if you’re taking the piss out of him.

All it takes for you to fold is him saying, “You sure do baby.” in such a sweet voice with the softest of smiles.

“Stop it.” You warn, pressing your lips together as you’re really holding back from reacting but you feel everything he says lighting up every nerve on your body.

Matty chuckles, his eyes still staring at you like it’s impossible for him to look somewhere else, “What?”

You roll your eyes at his attempt to appear innocent and you shake your head to say, “Just let me have my moment.”

“Right, sorry.” His hands are up as if he’s giving up yet a shit eating grin breaks on his face and his stare is so intense you have to look away.

You warn him before you even look back at your phone, “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” He tries to sound the most confused, “M’not doing anything.”

You point an accusing finger at him when you turn back, “You are! And you know exactly what it is.” He seems to grow even more amused at your reaction, making you sigh, “How have we gone from bullying you for getting off to my pictures to me not being able to look at you, fucking hell.”

He shrugs his shoulders, “I have that effect.”

“I don’t need you having a bigger ego, so stop it.” You try to make your statement serious but he can see straight through you and the way he’s got you right where he wanted.

“Do you really want me to stop though?” Matty plays with you, an eyebrow raised and you squirm in your seat in silence. He lets you sulk in the lack of words but when it gets longer than he expected, he just can’t hold back from teasing you even more, “Cat got your tongue?”

Keeping your stoic face the best that you can, you shake your head, “Just thinking of a way to shut you up.”

But your whole face falls when he replies, “If you were here baby, there’s loads of ways I would love for you to shut me up.”

His eyes scream mischief, and you cannot wait to find out what it is that he’s been thinking about and planning for weeks for your date that is so soon, you just can’t quite believe it, “Only two days now.” You bite your lip to conceal the massive smile that’s threatening to tug at the corner of your lips.

Yet you fail because seeing you smiling this big at him, has Matty matching it and his insides melt thinking about having you next to him once again, “Couldn’t go slower if you ask me.”

And you’re about to say how you feel the same way, like time is playing tricks on you when something seems to go off in his head and he continues, “Oh, that reminds me,” Matty smiles, “I have questions about New Year’s Eve?”

You raise your eyebrows curiously, and you lean forward giving him all your attention, “Go on.”

“So George and Charli are hosting their first party in their new house in the evening and I wondered if you wanted to go to that? And if you did, I still want to take you out so thought I could take you out to dinner earlier on and then we go to their party whenever.” Matty tells you but he also doesn’t want you to feel like you had to spend the night with other people when your original plan was to spend it with just him, “It’s honestly fine if you don't wanna go to theirs, I can take you out later on then, but if you did I will take you out earlier.”

You can see that the singer is rambling on for nothing though, because you nod, “I’m up for going to their party if they won't mind me coming.”

“They don't mind at all, George asked me to ask you.” Matty tells you, “He said Amelia can come too if she wants.”

And Matty is telling you the truth, when George asked him if he was coming, Matty point blank said no and that he was going on a date with you and then George told him to bring you with him afterwards. He said to invite Amelia too if she wasn’t already busy and Matty promised he would ask.

He’d been nervous about it though because he didn't want you to think that he was trying to get out of your date to go to his mates house. It was the complete opposite, he would rather spend the night with you, yet at the same time if you felt comfortable enough, he’d love for you to become friends with his friends too.

“I’ll ask her, thank you.” You smile, and clarify, “So we’re going out earlier?”

“Yeah,” Matty nods, and he suggests, “Maybe I could pick you up about four and we go out near you in Brixton somewhere? And you can stay at mine later when we get back from George’s?”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” You nod, trying not to smile like a fucking idiot.

You can feel your heart pounding in your chest at the mere thought. Never have you ever been more excited for a date, and you’ve been on a lot of them at this point.

“You ever been to The Laundry?” Matty asks, bringing you out of your thoughts.

Thinking about it for a moment, you remember the restaurant he’s talking about and nod, “I went in for drinks once last year I think. It’s nice.”

Matty smiles and raises his eyebrows curiously, “Would you let me take you there?”

As if he even needs to ask.

“I’d go to McDonalds with you, Matty.” You try and put it as plainly as possible how little you care about where it is you go. As long as you’re with him, you will have a great time, “I took you on a date in a Chicken Inn, anything is better.”

“Okay,” Matty chuckles, realising as well that it really doesn’t matter. He had fun on your last date and he knows that’s everything to do with you and not just the bit that the both of you were playing up to. So he smiles and nods, “I’ll book a table for like half four and then we can go to George’s afterwards. If that sounds okay with you?”

“Sounds perfect.” You bashfully grin, really letting yourself get excited about it now.

Matty grins right back, but it's more in reaction to your face in the corner of his screen as he’s putting in his details for the reservation that makes him pause. You look so fucking cute, he can’t help but tease you a tiny bit as he taps back onto the FaceTime so you take up his full screen again.

Matty asks, “What’s that smile for?”

At the risk of being cringe, you don’t hide your emotions from him this time. “I’m excited… I’m happy.” You shrug a little, feeling your cheeks heat up at the admission, but you ask, “Am I not allowed to smile?”

“Course you are.” Matty grins right back, and he takes a screenshot of how cute you look in this moment, before he ruins it by teasing you even more. “I just like knowing I'm the cause of it, baby.”

At this point, you drop your phone so he can’t see you anymore. You really just need to take a second to silently scream and not look all flustered in front of him.

You can hear him laugh and you silently scream into your hands for a moment before taking a deep breath and designing some composure. Matty laughs when you pick your phone up and you have your lips pressed together and you look all flustered.

Even more so when you whisper, “You’re going to be my cause of death.”

He teases you for a minute more until he goes back to finishing the reservation. You chat as he does it, and the both of you confirm the time of half 4 and then Matty books it.

Truly, you’ve never been so excited for a date. And Matty feels the exact same. Maybe it's because he’s never actually had to wait for a date this long, but also because he is genuinely so excited to be back in your company soon.

You spend the next half an hour talking about everything and nothing. But you do end up asking him about his plans, “What are you doing tomorrow?”

“We have to leave this house tomorrow, so I think because I’m not too far away from Sheffield imma go call and see Wheels and Alex,” Matty tells you, although he should probably text his best friend and ask if he can just gatecrash her day. The curly haired man explains, “I think they are up visiting her best friend and Alex’s family.”

“That sounds fun.” You smile, “You’ll have a great day.”

“I always do when I see her to be fair, she’s one of my best friends.” Matty smiles, “She’s a gem.”

You can’t help but think that’s pretty adorable of him. You’re aware she’s his ex-girlfriend, but she’s happily married to another legend and the way Matty still regards her so highly after so many years of not being together must mean she’s lovely.

And you’ve followed her for years, just like you had Matty, and you’ve always thought she was great. So there’s nothing stopping you from nodding and agreeing, “She seems it on her socials.”

Matty smiles hearing that, but he also gets a little excited when he realises and tells you, “You’ll meet her.”

“I will?” You raise your eyebrows questioningly.

“Yeah, I’m certain that she’s going to George and Charli’s.” Matty thinks out loud. “I’ll double check tomorrow.”

You hum in response to that, smiling and the thought just makes you even more excited for New Years. But you then get lost in your thoughts for a moment, wanting to know something but you don’t know whether you should ask or not.

After internally debating it for a few seconds, you just ask Matty, “Can I ask you a personal question?”

Matty nods, “Course you can.”

He has nothing to hide from you, and you’ve been hiding nothing from him so he doesn’t mind telling you things about himself.

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” You give him the option, not wanting to pry too much.

Matty brushes it off and encourages you, “Hit me baby.”

“Okay Britney Spears.” You chuckle a little before you go serious and ask him your question, “Do you get on with Alex now?”

“Because from an outsider's point of view - who obviously has no real insight into what was happening - it always seemed like a personal dislike you had between you. Like it wasn’t just for the sake of not liking each other, it was actually fuelled.” You look around your room as you find your words to ramble on but when you glance back at Matty and can’t quite gauge his reaction, immediately you backtrack, “I’m not explaining this well. Sorry… You don’t have to answer.”

“No, it’s okay.” Matty assures you and he goes on to say, “The simple short answer is yes. We get on, and everything is fine now.”

Matty continues with a small smile on his face when he explains, “Even I find it funny sometimes that after a decade of not liking him, he’s actually a really good mate now. Makes me laugh, can chat about things that aren’t just music and we can both embarrass Wheels so it’s quite funny too.”

You absolutely love that nickname he has for her. You sort of only know 1975 lore of where that nickname actually came from, but you’re sure you’ll ask him or her at some point if you do end up meeting her at George’s party.

“I’m sure one day I’ll tell you the full story, it’s too heavy for a FaceTime… I’d wanna tell you in person,” Matty pulls on the end of his curls before he tucks the ringlet beside his ear as he says that, which again you notice is his nervous behaviour, “But yeah, we’re friends and he’s actually a good laugh.”

Recognizing he was a little nervous saying that, you shake your head, “You don’t have to tell me anything… I wasn’t prying for details, I just wondered if you got on.”

Matty can see you starting to panic a little, so he eases your worries, “No, I know you weren’t, but I will tell you at some point… It’s everything that’s made me into who I am today so I don’t want to hide it from you.”

Hearing how sincerely he said that makes your chest ache. And you get the vibe the story will be a rollercoaster of emotions so the mere fact he actually felt comfortable enough with you to even discuss possibly telling you, means the world to you.

When you softly tell him, “As long as you’re comfortable with that.” Matty can’t get the smile off his face.

You're far too cute for your own good. All he wants to do is hug you and cuddle you into him and never let go.

He assures you, “You make me comfortable, baby.” and your heart proceeds to melt.

Christ knows how you’re going to make it through this date.

“Good, I’m glad…” You trail off, that smile now back on your lips as you're entirely obsessed with him. But that’s not to stop you from teasing again, “Will you sort out my dates with them tomorrow please?”

Of course Matty fakes an offended gasp then though and you have to bite your lip to stop yourself from laughing. The singer asks with wide eyes, “Can we have our second one first please?”

You laugh and nod, but instruct him, “Just plant the seed and I’ll do the rest.”

~*~*~*~ 29th December ~*~*~*~

Both you and Matty stayed up chatting again last night, both until you were almost falling asleep on each other again. And today with him being busy you’ve not FaceTimed because he had been busy with family in the morning, and he’d gone to Sheffield in the afternoon, and you were spending the evening and night over at Amelia’s.

Regardless though, you’ve been in contact most of the day, and it's been incredibly flirty. And that all started this morning after you’d already been messaging for a while and you moved on to the topic of the films you had to watch for the Golden Globes, but then the conversation changed to what your favourite films of all time were.

You seem to have pretty similar taste in films, despite the few niche ones that Matty name dropped that you had yet to see. He said that you could watch them together, but you said if that’s the case, then you’d be making him watch some Rom Coms that he’d yet to see because he thought they were too cringe, but he would trust your judgement.

You name a few, and Matty ends up scorning you for watching La La Land and you automatically defend it. Telling him that it has to be one of the ones that you watch together because it's full of music and romance, but then you warn him that he isn’t allowed to make fun of you when you inevitably cry at it.

Noooo baby, you can’t be upset when you’re with me, can’t have that xx Is the message you receive first, and he makes you coo at your phone but then he sends you another which makes you have a completely different reaction: However, I’m always here if you ever need a shoulder to put your legs on xxx

The gasp that you let out makes your family that you’re sitting around look at you and ask if you’re okay. Obviously, you just play it off like you’ve not just had a mini stroke in reaction to that message.

He really is going to be the death of you.

You take a minute to compose yourself, and you literally have nothing to reply to that other than scorning him. Because you really can’t be sexting him so early in the day.

Matthew…

It’s 11am!

His reply seems innocent, but you know he’s far from it. You can practically picture his smug grin as he typed out, Just giving you something to think about, take your mind off being sad x

You decide to scold him whilst also flirting, Yeah, and putting me in an entirely different mood xx

But Matty just teases you right back, Mhm good, think of me baby xx

You’re a menace xx You reply, biting your lip to try and stop the embarrassed smile that’s dying to make an appearance on your face.

When his reply comes through, all you can do is shake your head, You know it xxx

Flirting like this goes on for the rest of the day. Many times does he have your jaw dropping at his teasing messages, but you give it him right back most of the time.

You fear that he only liked you on your date because of your un-fussed humour that you can turn on and off, so you bring that back for some of your texts. You want to appear more confident to him and not always the embarrassed and flustered mess that you are most of the time when you FaceTime.

If anything continues after New Years, you’re sure that you’ll become accustomed to Matty and what he’s like, but you really don't want to get too ahead of yourself. So you just make yourself appear more in control of your emotions over text and you flirt with him first too when the opportunity arises, and Matty can’t lie he loves it. But he also loves when he can see that he’s got all flustered too. He just really likes you.

The day seems to pass the both of you by, never really being out of contact and before either of you know it, it’s quite late on in the evening and Matty has just crawled into the spare bedroom of his friend’s flat.

He’s just had a shower and he’s quite happy to actually just spend some time texting you without any other distractions. What are you up to baby? xx

Matty knows that you’re either still at Amelia’s family home, where you’d spent most of your afternoon and evening, or you’re about to be on your way home. Selfishly, he hopes that you’re alone again now so you can FaceTime each other.

But unfortunately that’s not going to happen as he finds out you’re still with your best friend when you reply:

Nothing just finding my 2022 dump pictures because Amelia is beside me pestering me to do one before the year is up x And a few seconds later, he also receives, What about you? xx

Matty tells you honestly, Still at Wheels and Alex’s flat, I had a drink so they said I could stay the night. Just got in bed xx

But he’s just gave you a nice opportunity to tease him so you say, Threesome sounds hot xx

And you’re left expecting a snarky comeback but your throat runs dry when he replies with a sarcastic, Please and a selfie of himself shirtless in bed, completely alone and follows it with, No sex for me tonight. I’d need you here baby xx

Biting your lip, you quickly type, Such a shame I’m not there, I’m sure you’ll survive xxx

You’re trying so hard not to react so Amelia doesn’t pry into your conversation but he makes it so hard for you when the next thing he says is, Don’t think I will, wanna facetime? xx

For your own sake you decide to make a joke out of it, just in hopes to get your heart rate back to normal and your cheeks to not be burning, Wow somewhere in the distance I can hear Too Shy playing xxx

Yet that continues to not work out for you because he has your breath hitching in your throat and your heart racing even faster when his text comes through and it says: Mmm no, I need to fuck you properly first before we do it over the phone xxx

Fucking hell.

You close your eyes and bite your tongue for a moment and will yourself not to have any reaction so your best friend doesn’t ask what was said. When you open your eyes you take a deep breath before typing out your reply as if that hadn’t taken your breath away and made you press your thighs together.

Have it all planned out do we? xx

And it’s barely a minute later he replies.

You know I do xx

The memory of him admitting to having enjoyed your pictures before, comes to the forefront of your mind then and now reading that text, you’re fully giddy knowing he wants you just as bad as you want him. So you ask for some more information, How’d you like to have me then? xx

Legs up and wide open for me preferably xx

Yep, you definitely need to go home.

Whilst you’d love to continue with the way this is going, you really can’t whilst you're still with Amelia. You end up responding a little sarcastically with, That sounds like a workout x

He replies with, You best be up for some cardio then baby x and you’re just glad it’s back to normal flirting that has you a bit more composed.

If it’s with you, can’t wait xx You cheekily say, a smirk on your face that he can’t see but he’s definitely picturing as he reads your text.

And it’s him saying, Awh yay, gym buddies! x next that has you hiccupping a laugh.

Fuck off, you dickhead😂 is all you say back, biting the inside of your cheek when Amelia looks up from her phone with a frown at the way you’re shaking from chuckles scaping your lips.

Thankfully she’s more entertained with what’s on her phone so when Matty says, Don’t start calling me that now, I might like it x back and you silently laugh at it, she ignores you.

You fake having known that and smartly reply, I was just trying to get you in the mood for what I’m about to post x

But his next text has you pausing and holding your breath as it says, I’m rock hard baby, don’t worry x and now all you’re left wondering is if he’s being honest or playful.

Trying not to hint the way that has you head scrambled, you tell him, I’ve got you covered baby x

A massive grin tugs at the corners of your lips when you see his next text reads, I hope I’m going to appear in it xx

But you want to keep teasing him some more so you only give him a vague, Maybe if I'm feeling generous xx to keep him on his toes.

If you could see him through your screen, you’d see the way he’s just smirking at his phone like a lunatic and how fast his fingers move on the keyboard to send, You better had baby xxx

Guess you’ll just have to wait and see xxx

You’re playing it so cool now but you’re very much looking forward to seeing his reaction to some of the pictures you’ve chosen to be in your next Instagram post.

You chuckle softly when he says, And how long will that wait be? xx

And Matty can hear your voice in his head when he reads that you reply with, Someone’s eager x

All he can say to that is the truth and it has you internally squealing when you read him say, For you? Always x

Matty is left to scroll though the things he’s missed whilst he’s been socialising today as you’re taking your time to reply. He likes to think he’s teased you enough to have you all flustered for him, but in reality you’re saying your goodbyes to Amelia and her family before getting in the car and driving a few minutes back to your parents.

As soon as you get in though, you select all the pictures you and Amelia had just chosen out and you post them captioning it as, 2022 you were the year dreams came true, onto my even more slutty 2023 x

Matty jumps as the notification comes through on his phone. He was waiting for your reply anyway but seeing that come up at the top of his screen has Matty wishing his phone would work faster so he could see what you’ve posted.

After a long agonising ten seconds, your profile loads along with your new post and he smiles at the caption you put on that all but quotes his words on your first date. But then his eyes are drawn up to the post itself and he’s eager to see what awaits and he likes it instantly.

The pictures you’ve posted range from cute to sinful, and Matty can’t help but love every single one. There's a few of you and Amelia, both of you having fun and it’s clear for anyone to see that you’re the best of friends and you love each other loads.

There's a few other behind the scenes pictures of a few of your dates. But Matty’s heart feels full when he gets to a picture where he can see you’ve got the Polaroids you and he took after your date pinned up. He’s so beyond glad he makes an appearance in these pictures.

There’s another picture of you in that Miu Miu mini skirt suit where you’re dramatically posing in the hallway of a hotel against the wall which has him groaning a little. There's another in your outfit from London Fashion Week, and then he’s met with a picture of you and Phoebe Bridgers taking a selfie where you’re pulling faces at your phone.

The second to last one makes him laugh too, and he knows it’s from Boxing day because it was a picture of your new blanket that features him on it. This time instead of you holding it up, it’s lay out on your bed and you have lay over yourself and you're grinning down at ‘him’ trying not to burst out laughing.

Matty is on his way to bully you for posting two pictures of him in your 2022 dump, and he’s about to call you a simp when he checks the last picture. And immediately you’ve got him in a chokehold.

His dick twitches in response to seeing it, and he palms himself to try and ease the way blood is rushing to it seeing this picture of you.

Whilst the second to last picture is a wholesome one of you lying down on your bed, this one is far from in. In this one, you’ve got your dress on that you wore for the GQ awards - and Matty knows it's the one because he’s looked at it far too many times at this point - and in this picture you’re propping yourself up on your elbow, whilst holding a rose down to your lips from above with your other arm.

It’s the dress that has Matty in pain though. The way your breasts look like their about to burst from the top of it, begging for the restricting material to be released, and the thigh slit of the dress is showing the curve of your arse as you’ve picked that leg up, crossing it over the other with your Louis Vuitton heels still on.

And now Matty is growing harder with the more he looks at you, and somehow he knows you’ve posted this one just for him. To toy with him, to edge him, to tease him, because that’s what he’s been doing to you all day.

Reluctantly, he tears his eyes off the picture of you to go back to message you, accusing, You did that last one on purpose x

Got my notifications on I see… It’s only been a minute since you posted so you decide to taunt him for it, Obsessed.

You’re certain he’s just rolled his eyes at you when he comes back with, Don’t let it go to your head xx

No way are you letting him get away with it though, instead you encourage him to do what he apparently normally does with your more revealing Instagram pictures. You reply, Enjoy yourself baby x

And you should be surprised, but you genuinely aren’t when he tells you, Call me that again please xx

You’re smirking at your phone at this point as you head upstairs to your room as you start typing out, Oh baby, do you also need my hand to take your mind off doing this at your best friend and her husband’s place? x

And then you throw yourself on bed to wait for his response, which comes back very quickly after and it hilariously says, Don’t be a smartarse baby, you’re making this weird x

You’re giggling to yourself, knowing he’s just trying to sneak his way out of the way you’re giving him a taste of his own medicine with your teasing so you call him out on it by sending him a text that reads, Even if I made it weird you’d enjoy it far more than you’d expect it, don’t fool yourself x

Just to toy with him a bit more and continue to test the waters with him, you make sure to add, I expect at least a thank you in return x

The, You can get a little more than that x that he sends next has you squealing into your pillow for a few seconds but when you bring yourself to look back at your screen and type a response, you see he’s sent something more that has you breathless.

It’s a picture of himself that reminds you quite a lot of the Consumption bit at the shows, for he has his free hand down his underwear and since he’s got no trousers on you can clearly see his We Are Kings tattoo in all its glory.

But what has your mouth going completely dry is the fact that it’s a live picture and when you curiously press on it to see if you can get anything else from it, you find yourself hearing Matty let out a soft moan of relief when his hand disappears under his pants.

All inhibitions are out of the window after that, and you let yourself be openly horny for him then when you say, I like that sound you made there x and as if that information wasn’t enough, you just need to let him know, I’ll be having fun with that later, thanks baby x

Matty had no idea noises could be hear from the picture so he pressed on it to hear it himself, cheeks blushing when he listens to what you’ve pointed out and in attempt to sound like he meant it, he types, I knew you’d enjoy that x

He finds himself thinking there had been a switch in you after he sent that and he loves to have it confirmed when he reads you’ve texted him, I hope you think of me the way I’ll be thinking of you later tonight x

Should I be expecting to hear my name all the way from Muswell Hill then? x He hopes you don’t hide back because this is just another taste of what he got that night in your room when you both got carried away and even though he stopped it before anything could happen, he’s been playing it on his mind and growing fonder of that side of you.

You decide you have to tease him then, because after the picture you just got, you want to give him something else to think about. Opening your camera, you immediately turn off live pictures because you’re not having the same thing happen to you.

After pulling your top off, you ruffle up your hair, just enough so it’s not neat as it lies around your shoulders and you lean back against your pillows again. Picking your phone up, you turn it landscape and you take a few pictures of yourself that show off some cleavage but leave out what he’s dying to see.

And you settle on one picture in particular where half of your face is cut off, but your mouth is open and it almost looks like you’re moaning in the picture. Your fingers grazing your collarbone, hair sprawled out over your pillow and covers over you just enough for him to be left begging for them to come off.

Mhmm hope you heard it xxx Is what you add as a caption to the picture and it’s a lie to say that you aren’t biting on your thumb nervous to see his reaction.

Matty takes a good minute after the picture comes through to process it all. His instant reaction is a loud groan that has him throwing his head back and cursing under his breath. He isn’t sure what else to say back other than, Fuck me x since his head is all scrambled from seeing you like that.

In 2 days xx You cheekily reply, and still feeling the power you have over him, you continue with, Good things come to those who wait x

His text comes faster than the last one and it only says, Cum* xxx

You giggle seeing that message come through, but with him still replying to you, you don’t think he’s doing with that picture of yours as you intended, so you tease him, Replying still??? Don’t edge yourself on my account baby xx

Watching the three dots come up on your phone feels like edging itself though. You’re hanging off his every word but you can’t let yourself feel ashamed about it. Especially when you see his response.

Oh but I love a bit of edging xx

You choke when that comes through. You had your theories but to see it written down and the fact he’d said it makes your mouth a little dry and you’re trying not to get flustered at all the thoughts running round your head.

You bite your lip as you type your reply, almost nervous to even be this forward over text with him. Holding your breath, you tap send on, You’ll change your mind on that after I have you begging to cum xx

The squeal that you let out when you see it change from sent to seen is obscene, and you find that you can’t look at your phone because you’re a little scared for his reply. When you see the three dots bubble up in the corner of the screen you end up throwing your phone to the end of your bed as you can’t handle the anticipation.

After a minute, you collect your phone knowing his reply will have come through by now. And when you see his message, You can’t do this to me right now baby x you can’t help but laugh.

Reading back over that has you smirking to yourself and gathering some more courage, you end up reminding him, You started it x and you scold him and you have to tease him one last time before you call it a night, Don’t give what you can’t take xx

Once again he shows you just how everything you give him, he can give you back three times worse when his reply comes through and you read, I’ll show you all I can give on new years baby, promise xx

It’s pure excitement that bubbles in the pit of your stomach and you’re sure that tonight you’ll go to bed dreaming of what that day will be like.

It’s not teasing anymore when you leave him with a, Can’t wait xxx

You can only hope that when you wake up the next morning, the day magically rushes by and the hours shorten just so you can finally go on the second date you’ve been thinking about for ages.

~*~*~*~ 30th December ~*~*~*~

“You know,” Matty raises his eyebrows at you through and you can’t help but take a screenshot of how cute he looks, “I think it’s really rude that we’re both back in London and you won’t let me come see you.”

Both of you got home today, you around midday and Matty just a few hours ago as he’d been driving for most of the day. You’ve been on your FaceTime about an hour and a half now, and Matty keeps complaining how you won’t let him come over.

But you really can’t, you’ve got no self restraint left at this point, you would never make it to the date if he came over, so you just keep with your initial plan.

You shrug him off again and say, “I like to build tension. What can I say?”

Matty sighs, his chest deflating as he pouts again, “I should have just driven an extra hour and come straight to see you.”

“No,” You shake your head, “Because you can’t be trusted keeping those hands of yours to yourself. You have my Instagram at your disposal if you wanna get yourself off tonight.”

Not that you have a leg to stand on. You’re practically itching to get your hands on him again. You’re dying to fuck him after your conversation last night. This truly has been the longest week of your life.

Matty closes his eyes and dramatically falls back onto his settee as he says, “You’re never letting me live it down, are you?”

“Nope,” You grin victoriously and you love the way he opens his eyes and he pretends to be annoyed about it, but the more he looks at your smile the more he can’t help but grin at you. You tease him a little more as you say, “Hope you enjoyed last night's treat too.”

“Alright, enough.” Matty says a little louder before he brings his phone closer to his face and warms you, “I’ll make you pay for it tomorrow.”

You smirk at that, and despite knowing exactly how he meant it, you turn the comment on its head and play innocent, “I don’t mind paying for our food.”

“I wasn’t talking about the food.” Matty smirks right back, knowing what you’re up to and he loves the way you can’t work up the courage

“I’m excited to take you out.” Matty smiles wholesomely, dropping the act now to be genuine.

“I’m excited to finally be going out,” You grin, your heart beating a little faster at the mere thought of what tomorrow could hold. “It feels like the longest three months we’ve had this planned for.”

Matty hums in agreement, “Longest of my life.”

You’ve got a feeling that after tomorrow, your life won’t ever be the same again. And you can’t wait.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: We hope you enjoyed this one! Rest assured that New Years Eve is coming next, and it’s spicy! Thanks a million for reading, we can’t wait to hear your thoughts on this one! See you soon with the next part over at @imagine-that-100​ blog! xx

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[freakinator]

I'm so interested, but I don't know where to start watching UU. I'm so confused. Could you please advise me how to watch it properly?

honestly the best advice i can give you is to just search unstable universe and click on any of the playlists (i recommend diya's since it tends to be the most up-to-date one), if you wanna watch just one pov then feel free to do so but be warned youd be missing a part of the experience by doing so mainly through missing context/part of the story for certain scenes (although tbf that pretty much goes for any lets play but if you dont mind that aspect then go right ahead)

a few warnings before you get started tho:

its a huge time investestment, all but the first 4 episodes are more than 3 hours long with most of them either halfway through or nearing 4 hours

some vids are uploaded later than they actually take place on the timeline, i have a guide here if you wanna know at least from what i can tell the actual order is

theres a few supplementary materials (can be found in the extras part of the sheet i linked, not complete yet cause theres some vids i havent linked yet and im still on the lookout for more since some vids get added retroactively in addition to the ones uploaded explicitly for uu), you dont need to watch them to enjoy the story but theyre a cool bonus

if you wanna watch only one pov heres a guide on each of the povs specialties before doing so

general:

they all shift in style as the eps go on, nothing jarring but if you dont like more scripted storylines you may find the later eps a bit lacking

plot themes get used and reused a lot, for example spoke often goes on quests to destroy important landmarks, parrot often goes on scavenger hunts/get imprisoned/some combination of the two, and wemmbu often does things related to civilizations/kingdoms/factions

certain editing styles also get copied from each other, parrot and wemmbu in particular like to do this with each other

themes and styles can also switch around sometimes which can affect future eps on some level

certain exploits and mechanics dont work as intended so dont bother replicating how certain mechanics work according to actual mc cause chances are youll be disappointed by the results (unless youre into that sorta thing i suppose lol)

the main povs tend to stick to the same set of ppl, most likely due to scheduling reasons, so dont expect a whole lot of crossover casting (tho obv there would still be some esp if theyve got a pre-established role already)

spoke:

redacts some important events from his eps but may recount them later on depending on how the story plays out tho not in detail

not a lot of pvp in his pov and when there is chances are hes trying to run away or someone else is handling it (mainly mapicc)

doesnt upload nearly as consistently as the other two, consequently his shift in style is more obvious comparatively but so is his character development

thematically his eps tend to be about personal growth of some kind

lorewise his eps tend to focus more on server meta, for example his pov is the only one where there is clear confirmation of the server being unstable codewise, his pov is the only one where just how large of a problem duping on the server is can actually be seen and felt, and so far his pov is the only one that shows who ash is and what his goals are. basically if spoke introduces some kind of threat in his ep, chances are it'll be a threat to the server meta and youd have to think of the bigger picture in order to grasp how dangerous they actually are

his pov is also the only one you get the full picture of what a soggy little rat he actually is since in both parrot and wemmbus povs spoke is seen as a serverwide threat, directly for parrot and theoretically for wemmbu

if you like ls s4 zam and/or ls s2 spoke then youll most likely like him as well lol

has a small reoccuring cast and tends to stick to one person when going on quests while also taking note of another one

you will feel the ghost of jamatoP haunting this kid wherever he goes even if he never directly references him

parrot:

tends to get dragged along plot points, not in the sense that he doesnt have agency cause he very much does but more like he takes it upon himself to clean up other ppls messes if that makes sense

tries not to get into pvp but he still does get into them quite often, usually tries to run away but when he doesnt/cant he doesnt really have the best fighting techniques

his character development tends toward introspection which leads to a lot of "quiet" and assumptive character development, you gotta use a lot of psychological analysis when watching a parrot episode basically

thematically his eps tend to be about the willingness to get in danger in pursuit of something (whether it be for something greater, knowledge, or the safety of the other players on the server whether it be their life or memories) vs the predictable and stagnant comfort of safety

lorewise the threats he faces are ones that focuses on the actual players themselves, if one is introduced on his episode then chances are that they specifically target and affect players. an interesting example of this is zam, seen as a threat but never actually treated like an actual problem to be solved unlike the other threats he faces and it just so happens that zam is in a really interesting place antagonism-wise when it comes to wemmbu but is otherwise not a huge threat to unaffiliated players not even parrot who he apparently has beef with

has a large reoccuring cast who come in and out of his life, each of whom are important the same way cogs are important to a machine (applies to parrot himself as well). wifies sticks by him no matter what tho

wemmbu:

literally only one episode of his so far does not heavily feature or center around zam and its the one that takes place before they meet, if you do not like seeing/hearing about zam every 10 minutes or so do not watch wemmbus eps or you Will get pissed off

gets into fights quite often and is the best at pvp among the three main povs but isnt the best in terms of the server at large (hes somewhere more along the lines of average)

his character development is. rocky. and cyclical. be prepared to see him spiral and get better and spiral again over and over again basically lol

thematically his eps tend to be about princezam. i wish i was joking. but besides that, theyre also about retaliatory safety, morality, and sacrificing everything just to try and accomplish a singular goal

lorewise he causes a lot of ripple effects that affect the other two povs to a level that neither of them have ever affected him like for example him terrorizing spoke and parrot is what drove them to their current paths (anti-exploit exploiter for spoke and player protector for parrot)

has. A reoccuring cast. most of them are enemies and/or dont matter to him a whole lot personally tho... that doesnt mean he doesnt have friendly relations or allies of any kind, just that the only two you Really need to take note of are eggchan and princezam

i think thats p much all i can say about uu in terms of how to get into it but if youve got any questions of some kind feel free to ask :D

[perfectlyvalid49]

There is a difference between disrespected and being uncomfy and I appreciate your ability to at least see the nuance.

If you looked at the “show more” tab on the quotation link, it would have given you more options but I didn’t think I needed to explain that 🙃 The semantics of things seems silly after a point but I think we’re both still coming at a place of valid intention.

Similarly to some of my arguments it feels like you still neglect that history is full of things older and outside of the Jewish tradition (like Zoroastrianism, Phoenician/Canaanite tribes that were largely wiped out BECAUSE of tribal conflict that included a WIDE array of Jewish people up until, if I’m not mistaken, basically Babylon and even some of the literature around Ur and the Nile from how human became sentient has some oddly universal stories (forbidden fruit, the allegorical nature of the stars, the fall of man with Cain (farming) and Abel (hunter gatherer).

The point of this whole discussion stems from the argument from tradition which feels fallacious given how no one ACTUALLY claims anything after a certain point so why get your knickers in a twist to point out that, hey, maybe the nuance exists in ways that are legitimately concerning like why the IDF is systemically pulling fascist moves against Palestinians.

I appreciate your input nonetheless and think we largely agree, it’s just the gatekeeping piece that genuinely confuses me because it feels inherently oppressive to people who may think that the 40+ crowd who conveniently seem to be majority if not only men, get to dictate the narrative of how a specific religion operates, ESPECIALLY if that means *checks notes again* chopping a part of a baby’s dick off????

You're right, there is a difference between being disrespected and being un-comfy. I’m not un-comfy.

The “show more” tab under the famously inaccurate Google AI overview? Your argument for the reason that you can use quotes to paraphrase is that a hallucinating AI says so? I just want to be sure that’s your argument before I click the tab and check…

It still doesn’t say that. Like, that’s a bad argument because AI is not a valid counter to actual sources, but it’s also a bad argument because nothing in the link you gave actually said you could do what you did anyway. And then you tried to make me look foolish by implying that you need to explain to me that I just needed to click the “show more” tab. You might think we both have good intentions, but I am seriously doubting yours.

You’re shifting goalposts here. We started talking specifically about Jews and Jewish populations. I’m not neglecting the fact that history is full of things older than Judaism and outside of Judaism, they’re just simply not relevant to the specific conversation we’re having. And I’m not sure what you think I’m arguing from tradition, either. Unless you mean Jewish traditions themselves? I think it’s fair to say that our traditions are our traditions. If they need changing, that is for the Jewish community to decide amongst ourselves, not a conversation that you get to take part in.

I’m sorry you feel gatekept, but not everything in the world is available for you to take. Specifically closed religions, especially closed religions of minority groups, are not available to you. And I think this is a good thing. Jews are outnumbered on this planet 500 to one. If Judaism were an open religion, it would not be hard for a bunch of Christians to declare themselves Jewish, and then change Jewish practice to include Jesus. Like, to be very specific, there are more Evangelical Christian Zionists in the United States than there are Jews in the entire world. If they all declared themselves Jewish, but said they were keeping Jesus, the MAJORITY of Jews would be followers of Jesus. The gatekeeping is to ensure that changes to how we practice our religion and our culture come from us, and not overwhelming outside influences.

Circumcision is part of an important Jewish ritual. If Jews decide to stop observing that ritual, that decision needs to come from Jews, which you are not. Your opinion here simply doesn’t matter. I know that as a cultural Christian you need to feel centered in every conversation, but this one doesn’t involve you. In addition, the way you talk about what is really a beautiful ritual is disrespectful to the point of being dangerous. Christian obsession over circumcision has led to accusations of Jewish pedophilia and Jews doing satanic rituals with the collected foreskins, which have led to attacks against Jewish communities.

I’m sorry you’re not happy with your circumcision, though again, unless it was done as part of the Jewish tradition (and from what you said it seems like it wasn’t) then I’m not sure why you’re so hung up on Jews doing it. Why not start by advocating for non-Jews to stop doing it, as that seems like it would be more relevant to your personal trauma? Your obsession with the Jewish practice is antisemitic; you need to let it go.

[1moreff-creator]

Everything We Know About Mai Akasaki + So Many Theories

AKA, me going insane over a character with exactly nine seconds of main series screen time so far. I checked.

At this point, it's probably fair to say that Mai Akasaki is by far the most mysterious aspect of DRDT. A character we only learn about in short, cryptic bouts of information, yet one which seems intrinsically linked with the series' plot and characters. We know extremely little about her, and what we do know, it's usually speculative.

However, it's still really interesting to talk about this funky little woman, and try to figure out what exactly her deal is. Join me in insanity land, as I compile everything I could find about her, and speculate on her story! I can practically guarantee that you'll learn something new.

WARNING: Insanely long post. I reached the 30 image limit, to give you an idea of how crazy this is.

Wait, Who?

Her! <3

(A lot of what I'm about to say come from this post by despairing-disaster and this one by akemiai, huge shout out to them!)

For the uninitiated, Mai Akasaki is the secret seventeenth student of the DRDT cast, hidden somehwere in this school wait no that's Mukuro. Her name can be found in the hidden quote in MonoTV's character profile, which itself is found by doing "inspect element" on said page.

Her name is Mai Akasaki

(I am such a hacker)

Typing in https://danganronpadespairtime.tumblr.com/maiakasaki (or clicking there) takes you to a pretty empty page, with this text:

All you have to do is ask for my hand, and I'll give it to you. Ask for my life, and I'll give it to you as well. Don't apologize for asking, I'll give you my forgiveness too.

As you'll see later, this quote is probably something Mai would say.

And this hidden quote:

"Are you still searching for a secret? For some explanation that will satisfy you? There's no answer I can give you that will make you happy. Maybe I should have lied instead. I'm sorry."

Note the quotes, which as far as I can tell, aren't in any of the other hidden phrases. That said, spoilers, I don’t have any idea what this means.

You may aso have noticed some highlighted letters in that first quote. Typing those in, https://danganronpadespairtime.tumblr.com/aoaviepkro, takes you to the most important page for our purposes:

(Also, you can just look it up on google nowadays)

Mai Akasaki's character profile. And yes, it's the girl Teruko remembers after being stabbed by Xander, in episode 6 of chapter 1. After that memory, Teruko thinks:

It's strange I would remember her now, of all times. What was her name again? It's on the tip of my tongue, but I can't remember. Xander always reminded me of that girl. Perhaps that's why I'm thinking about her now. They looked similar, with that same red hair and smile. And... they both wanted to help, didn't they?

Teruko and her clearly have something going on, but we'll get to it later (take a shot every time I say something like that). For now, we have to dive into the profile.

Profile of Someone Dearly Loved

Basic Info

She's listed as the "Ultimate ???", likes phone charms and dislikes silence. She's 5'8'' tall, weighing 124 lbs and with a chest sie of 30 in. I doubt anyone cares about the latter. Her birthday is February first, which you may want to keep in mind for later.

The Subtitle Quote

As every character does, Mai has a quote right under her name. In her case, "There's a way for you to be happy". Keep in mind these quotes are usually things the characters would say, and as you'll see in a moment, that fits.

However, what's interesting is that this quote was not the one originally there when Mai's page was first found. It changed. It used to be, apparently, "Anything, anything at all..."

What I don't know is when it changed, or why. The earliest reference I can find to the change is this post by stfu-sage, the 20th of March, 2023. This is just three days after the release of Ch 2 Ep 8, but that feels like quite a strange time for it to change, especially since we don’t know how many days passed without anyone checking the profile. I feel it makes more sense if it had changed either with the release of Ch 2 or with the BDA on chapter 7. Regardless, the exact time doesn’t matter much.

What do these lines mean, though? Well, starting with “Anything, anything at all”, I believe it’s related to line from the Mai Akasaki URL. You know, “All you have to do is ask for my hand, and I’ll give it to you…”, that one. When you read them together, it makes sense:

All you have to do is ask for my hand, and I'll give it to you. Ask for my life, and I’ll give it to you as well. […] [You can ask for] Anything, anything at all.

Considering the code for Mai’s profile is in the “ask for my hand” line, I think it makes sense.

Then, the changed quote, “There’s a way for you to be happy”. Considering the general time for the change, is it possible this is something Mai said to Arei, during their time at Hope's Peak? It's the best I have for now, but I feel we may need more context to know what this is about.

In any case, I can't gather much more from the subtitle quote. Although I do feel like pointing out, Mai’s quote is somewhat unique in that none of the words are highlighted. All the other characters have one or a few words highlighted (eg: Arei - secret, Teruko - no matter what), except MonoTV and Mai. Don’t think it means anything, but it’s there.

Hidden Quotes

And here we have it. The most important part of Mai theorizing. Whenever you refresh the page, a new body of text appears, which is related to a specific character via the code of the website. You can see in the screenshot I took, it says “A girl with many friends”. But here’s a full list of all the possibilities:

Teruko: Some years ago, she was searching for someone named ‘Teruko Tawaki.’ Charles: A girl who loves her family. Rose: She remembers everything that is important to others. Arturo: A girl who sees the beauty in everyone. Levi: A girl with a floral tattoo on her arm. Whit: A girl with many friends. Eden: She kept calling the number, even though no one picked it up. J: She kept it a secret, and told no one. Hu: A girl who wanted to keep everyone safe. Nico: Everyone confided in her. Ace: A girl who had a bright future. Arei: She doesn’t like it when her friends fight. Min: An average girl with nothing special at all about her. Xander: She couldn’t stand to do nothing. Veronika: A girl who didn’t foresee the consequences. David: She forgives everyone. MonoTV: It’s all your fault.

You may notice the order is somewhat peculiar, and it's for a good reason. It's the order the "bios" (name of the variable in the source code... I think that's how that works) are laid out in the source code of Mai's page.

... I know you can barely see and not all of them are on frame, but just trust me. If you want to check for yourself, you can go to the profile's source code (Ctrl U), and either scroll to almost the bottom, or just search (Ctrl F) for a word like "average" or "confided" which only shows up in the "bios". There's probably easier ways to go about it, but this is how I got there. I'm telling you this because it took me like an hour to find out where the hell the order came from. I am not good at computers.

However, for now, let's just ignore the order (and the tenses of the sentences, I swear I'll get there) and focus on the main points for now.

+Mai is extremely well-liked by the other members of the cast. In particular, some of the quotes compliment her based on faults the character attached to them has.

>Arturo is extremely judgemental based on ugliness, but Mai "sees the beauty in everyone".

>Charles forgot his dead brother, but Mai "loves her family".

>Rose is absentminded and often forgets things if she doesn't see them, but Mai "remembers everything that is important to others".

>The hidden quote on Ace's page has him saying "I don't know what to do with myself anymore", suggesting a lack of control over his future, but Mai "had a bright future".

>Arei constantly causes altercations between the cast, but Mai "doesn't like it when her friends fight".

However, plenty of quotes are simply good qualities, such as Hu's "A girl who wanted to keep everyone safe". The point is, everyone seemingly adored this girl.

+Mai is good at keeping secrets, as implied by J's and Nico's quotes ("She kept it a secret, and told no one" and "Everyone confided in her", respectively). Those same quotes actually seem to imply Mai likely knew those two's secrets, and possibly a lot of the others.

+Among other things, Mai is compassionate, forgiving, friendly, and generally a positive presence.

+Mai and Teruko have a particularly strange relationship. We'll come back to this.

+Mai seemingly did... something, and it brought consequences. This is implied by the quotes of Xander ("she couldn't stand to do nothing") and Veronika ("A girl who didn't foresee the consequences"). But, what was it? Well, to get a better idea, we need to take a look at... the Bonus Episodes.

A Not-So-Unnamed-Classmate

Technically-a-Theory: Mai is the Unnamed Classmate

I say "technically" because I'm pretty sure no one actually disagrees with this. Yes, technically it's never been confirmed, but it seems likely Mai is the Unnamed Classmate who shows up in both of the Bonus Episodes we have so far. The PoV character in both of those episodes has the same voice, which sounds like a girl's, and their personality seems to fit with the very little we know of Mai.

Additionally, as you’ll see, the text boxes in the Bonus Episodes are surrounded by flowers which look very similar to the ones in Mai’s tattoo, further connecting them.

It's not much, but since we don't know anyone else who could be Unnamed Classmate, they and Mai are likely the same person.

With this clarified, let's talk about Unnamed Classmate.

Bonus Episode #1

This episode is mostly focused on Min and the history of Hope's Peak, but we can still start to grasp a bit of Mai's personality. She seems generally upbeat and somewhat bubbly, and we can see glimpses of her kind and caring qualities when she comforts Min near the end of the episode.

There's also a few lines which actually tell us a few more concrete things about her, though. I won't post them in chronological order, btw.

Min: Hey! Put your textbook away! Don’t cheat!

Seemingly an insignificant joke, but it does help establish Mai as slightly mischievous/cheeky, which will be expanded upon later. Other indications of this cheekiness include Mai comlimenting Min and trying to distract her by talking about the sky and her backstory, presumably to procrastinate. I may be reading too much into it, but I really don't think Mai is as easily distracted as she makes herself out to be.

Mai: Auughh, the test is too soon, there’s no way I’ll have enough time! I’m totally going to fail!

Mai: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have bothered you to help me study--

Mai: I see. That's how you got your talent. I'm ashamed that I'm only now learning something so important. I'm sorry.

(Yes, I had to bunch a few of these images together because I ran into the Tumblr 30 image limit)

A few lines which seem innocuous at first, but when paired together, they hint at something. Essentially, I believe this implies Mai doubts her abilities and actions, and may even have a self-deprecating streak. She's at the very least much harsher on herself than she is on others. It sounds like a stretch, but I swear it's not as farfetched as it seems.

Mai: You're somebody who buys fish-shaped pastries and saves the chocolate-filled ones for me, because you know that those are my favorite.

Mai likes chocolate-filled pastries. Hey, when I said “everything we know about Mai”, I meant everything (that I could find).

Min: I suppose for someone like you who doesn't care too much about Hope's Peak and who, no offense, would never be eligible for the [Ultimate Contest for Eminent Students] with such average grades...

Min: You might not do very well in school, but you're quite sharp.

Put simply, Mai has average grades, but is still considered smart by Min. Her intelligence is visible throughout the episodes, mainly in the form of emotional intelligence and a hint of deception (that's where the mischieviousness comes in).

However, perhaps it’s the first phrase which is most interesting. Mai “doesn’t care too much about Hope’s Peak”. Which is only reiterated by the following lines.

Min: Maybe someone like you who never cared about Hope’s Peak Academy wouldn’t understand. But it’s everyone else’s dream to be an Ultimate.

Mai: Ultimates aren’t everything. As if I’m only friends with you because of your talent. There’s more to you than that.

Mai seems to have a much more laissez-faire approach to the concept of Hope’s Peak and Ultimates than what Min considers normal. By itself, this isn’t too strange, as we know there’s other people not too attached to their status as Ultimates. However, this actually may have something to do with the incident implied in Xander’s and Veronika’s quotes. I’ll get to it later (overused phrase of the day), but for now, keep this in mind.

Nevertheless, there is one more theory affected by this nonchalance towards Hope’s Peak. Except, it’s a theory I believe is actually harmed by this attitude.

Good Theory I Don’t Believe: Mai is a Reserve Course Student

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a cool theory! I just don’t think it works all the way.

Essentially, this theory is what it says in the tin. Mai is the Ultimate ??? because she’s actually a Reserve Course student, a la Hajime Hinata. There are many good posts on this theory, like this one by delightfullydiscordant, and I recommend you read them since they’re well put together! Some of the main points of this theory include:

>Min’s quote for Mai is “An average girl with nothing special at all about her.”, which could imply she doesn’t have a talent. However, there are other interpretations for this line, so it’s far from conclusive.

>Mai seems to be wearing a Japanese Hope’s Peak uniform (check out this post by laly-481), but the jacket around Mai’s waist is darker than the one worn by Ultimates in DR 3. Instead, it seems closer to a Reserve Course jacket. The issue I have with this is that… well, we know very little about what the Japanese Hope’s Peak in the DRDT universe looks like, so this feels a bit vague.

>

Mai: You’re not nobody. Even if I pretend that you’re not an Ultimate and that we’re not both students in Hope’s Peak Academy, you’re still somebody to me.

I’ll ask you to ignore the lesbians for a moment and focus on the beginning of the quote. If you look at it closely, it seems to imply both Mai and Min are Hope’s Peak alumni, but they’re not both Ultimates. Thereby, Mai must be a Reserve Course student.

However, I actually have a different interpretation of that quote, one which, you guessed it, I’ll get to later. But for now, if we’re going to get involved in semantics, we also have to look at this line:

Mai: The US Hope's Peak Academy takes in college-age students, and there's two of them, and we have this really weird curriculum, and there's a bunch of other things, and...

Min: Remember that we’re East Class 27, so that means that Hope’s Peak is how many years old?

Min: Look at what our classmates are doing now. They're Ultimates too. They're all doing things relevant to their career, if not actually out working.

Min saying “we're class 27" could be interpreted as her simply referring to herself and the other Ultimates, but even then, referring to "our classmates" while talking to Mai implies they're in the same class. Also, Mai saying "we have" a weird curriculum feels odd unless both she and Min have the same curriculum, meaning both of them likely attend the same classes, thus again, both are Ultimates.

But that’s only a minor problem. In truth, there are other reasons I believe Mai has a talent, and I even have a guess of what that talent may be. But the main one is what we just established: Mai never really cared about Hope’s Peak.

I admittedly may be missing some context, since I’ve never watched DR 3, but from what I know, Reserve Course students are usually characterized as people who desperately want to be Ultimates and are obsessed with Hope’s Peak, which doesn’t fit Mai at all. You could argue maybe she went to Hope's Peak to search for Teruko as Teruko's quote implies, but the problem with that is that Teruko remembers Mai, at least a little bit (see: dream sequence), which means they should have reunited before Hope's Peak, since the last thing Teruko remembers before the "amnesia zone" is going to Hope's Peak's entrance ceremony.

Not to mention, we… can’t even be sure the Reserve Course exists. For as much info as we got from the Bonus Episode #1, that course was never even mentioned. And seeing this is a post-Tragedy world, the Reserve Course may not even exist. Especially when Min also says that actually being an Ultimate is considered more important than going to Hope’s Peak in the US.

So, final verdict on this theory? While it’s quite interesting and I definitely think it’s more plausible than many of the other things I’ll bring up, I don’t find it to be the most likely, again because Mai’s disinterest in Hope’s Peak pushes her away from the standard Reserve Course student, and because I prefer a different theory about her talent.

And with that, we’re done with the first Bonus Episode for now! Let’s see what the second one brings.

Bonus Episode #2

This one, surprisingly, has fewer lines which gives us info about Mai. However, what it does give us is arguably some of the most important intel we have so far.

Mai: No, it’s fine. Don’t think you’re making me come with you. I'm here because I want to be here.

Mai: [Xander reimbursing her for the trip]'s silly. I can pay for it myself. Besides, you're letting me stay at your place for a week, so if anything, you're doing me a favor.

The first just reiterates that Mai is compassionate and wants to help whenever she can. As for the second, it seems to imply Mai doesn't struggle too much with money, which is info I guess. However, she also says Xander is doing her a favor by letting her stay over. I think that just means the expenses of living wherever she's living for a week exceed the expenses of the trips? I don't see any other reason that would be considered a favor in that aspect. I considered maybe Mai could have a bad home life, but in the secret quotes:

Charles: A girl who loves her family

So, I don't think that's the case. I think it really is just a money thing, and we don't have to overthink it too much.

Mai: 'Oh, speaking of Hope's Peak. I need to ask Xander if he found that document I asked him to look for.'

Mai: 'I didn't want to unload the work on him, but he's much better at digging up stuff than I am.'

Mai: 'But it's definitely not something I should bring up in a public place. I'll remember to ask him later'.

And here we are. The single biggest Mai-related reveal in the Bonus Episodes. Her and Xander were involved in some sort of secretive operation related to Hope's Peak. In particular, seemingly during their trip to visit the graves of Xander's family, Mai asked Xander to retrieve a document related to the Academy, a document they shouldn't discuss in public. In fact, right after this, Mai changes the subject to Xander's eyes so as to not talk about it, again showing she can be somewhat deceptive when she needs to.

This might be related to Teruko's claim that "[Xander and Mai] both wanted to help", but it seems impossible for her to remember anything which happened during HPA (Hope's Peak Academy, got tired of writing it out) time, so I still don't know what she actually meant by that.

Nevertheless, it's pretty obvious that whatever this is, it would be bad news for HPA. I mean, if Xander's involved, there's no way it's good for an institution. But it also ties back to Mai's critical view of HPA and the Ultimate title.

However, messing with something as powerful as HPA could be pretty dangerous. Thus, I believe this little operation is likely what's being referred to in Xander's and Veronika's quotes.

Xander: She couldn’t stand to do nothing. Veronika: A girl who didn’t foresee the consequences.

(By the way, Xander's quote in particular is why I don't quite believe the theory that the document mentioned here is only to get Teruko into HPA somehow. It's a cool theory, but Xander's quote feels a bit too dramatic for that to be the end goal of Mai's plans)

I mean, for one, it's Xander saying Mai did something, and messing with HPA could have quite drastic consequences, from what we know. Thus, from now on, I will henceforth call this vague action against HPA "the HPA Operation", because saying "that thing Mai did which Xander's and Veronika's quotes allude to" is gonna get tiring.

What exactly the HP Operation was, I obviously don't know, we're on chapter 2 of the series and this is quite clearly a mystery which may last until chapter 6 (assuming a standard DR formula).

However, I can tell you one thing. It may not fully be Mai's idea.

Mai: If you set out to do something, then never give up on that, no matter what obstacles may stand in your way. Even if it's risky or against the rules, as long as it's for a good cause...

Mai: I'll trust that you know to do the right thing.

Xander: Yeah, of course (NOT PICTURED)

Xander: That's why I've come to Hope's Peak, isn't it?

The lines about the HPA document appear right after this, although Mai does seem confused at first by Xander's claim that "that's why [he's come] to Hope's Peak". So although Mai is the one who asked Xander to find the document, it's possible the basic idea to go against HPA came from Xander. After all, remember. Mai never cared much about HPA, so it seems unlikely she paid enough attention to it to notice its flaws as quickly as Xander would. Ultimate Rebel, and all that.

However, even if Xander was the one who planted the idea of revolution in Mai's head, she's clearly invested in it. She tells Xander to never give up on anything he sets out to do, even if it's risky or against the rules.

So, there it is. So far, what we know about the HPA Operation is:

>Mai and Xander were heavily involved.

>It may have originally been Xander's idea, but Mai seems to have taken the role of tactician at some point.

>HPA likely wasn't too happy with it.

>It likely had horrible consequences for Mai.

And that's all we had for a while, as Chapter 2 Part 1 didn't add anything to the conversation. Well, except maybe a thought Teruko has when Arei starts crying after her breakdown in the playground:

That pitiful crying... It reminds me of... Of...

That could be about Mai, but I really don't know what it could mean, so I'm sorta ignoring it for now.

So, yeah. Nothing new.

Until it came out.

Going (Literature Girl) Insane

Yeah, the David MV. Mai is listed in the cast list as a secondary character, though her name is crossed out. This likely refers to the portrait of her seen in the background.

The portrait of Mai is labeled "portrait of someone dearly loved", while Teruko's is labeled "portrait of someone dearly unloved", the words flipped. This is one of many things which seem to imply Teruko and Mai are meant to be opposites of each other.

There is also that one image of a girl whose identity is unclear.

It doesn't look like Mai, but maybe that's my prosopagnosiac ass assuming different hair = different person. Generally, people assume this is "Diana Chiem", if she even exists, though I somewhat lean on it possibly being the mysterious name out of frame in the cast list. You know, the name which vaguely looks like "Ms Naegi". However, I'm showing you the image to get a second opinion on something.

You see the hand Mystery Girl is holding? Doesn't it look like it's wearing a glove? Because of the white line in the wrist. Maybe I'm going insane, that could just be a bend of the wrist, but... I kinda don't see it? It makes a bit more sense to me as a glove. And since it doesn't seem to be cut off at the fingers like Xander's, it would have to be Mai's. Other characters also wear this type of glove, but they’re not on the cast list.

The counterpoint is that it looks like you can see the nail of the PoV person's thumb, but I'm not sure that's the case? That part of the sprite is really strange and seems to be different in all three of the Mystery Girl images, so I can't tell. Anywyas, if any of you have ideas, tell me. Again, it's most likely I'm overthinking and that's just a bend of the wrist.

Anyways, enough dillydally, let's get to the big stuff.

The Roman numeral

As you may or may not know, during the MV we’re shown a crossword puzzle which is solved with the characters’ names, and this assigns each character with a different Roman numeral. This numeral later shows up attached to some kind of phrase, which in turn relates that character back to the phrase. I made a post talking about all of them, but I'll go more in detail about Mai's in this post than I did in that post.

Solution by raspbeyes

In the crosswords, Mai intersects Arei and Levi. I don't think this means much by itself, since the way the names intersect doesn't seem to be too important in general. Like, yes, if you squint you can see things like Whit only intersecting Charles, but there's also things like Min only intersecting Arei, Eden only intersecting Rose, Veronika intersecting everyone and their morther... My point is, the exact position in the crosswords doesn't tend to matter much.

What's more important are the numerals. Mai's is XI (11), a number which, from my research, is related to leadership and bringing out the best in others, as well as nobility or higher conciousness and spirituality and knowledge and new beginnings- Okay, the point is, I found mostly inconclusive stuff, but a lot of this sort of relates back to Mai, so we take it.

And the phrase itself:

XI. God is dead

What could this mean? Well, in philosophy, the phrase "God is dead" refers to the breakdown of ethical and sociocultural structures as christianity and religion in general became less universal. So, loss in faith in an institution leads to changes in the status quo. One way to interpret this in the context of this numeral is that Hope's Peak is the "God", and Mai's actions involved a loss on faith on HPA, and everything which comes with it. This could even be related to the phrase which directly follows this numeral in the song, "become brainwashed: go do it!". If HPA's propaganda which makes everyone love Ultimates can be considered brainwashing, anyways.

...

But that's not what any of us first thought when we read that, is it?

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Is Mai Dead?

Yeah, we gotta talk about the elephant in the room.

You'll have noticed, lots of the hidden quotes on Mai's profile speak about her in the past tense. This already had people thinking she was dead since it was first found, but the MV really drove the point home. Considering how the characters think about Mai, it's not impossible to imagine Mai is the "God" here, and "God is dead" has a far more literal meaning.

But, let's hold our horses here, no need to kill her so quickly. There is a chance she's alive.

Coping With the Quotes

Like I said, some of these quotes speak about her as if she's dead, but some of them actually talk about Mai in the present tense. Here, I sorted them out.

Referring to a past event:

Teruko: Some years ago, she was searching for someone named ‘Teruko Tawaki.’ Eden: She kept calling the number, even though no one picked it up. J: She kept it a secret, and told no one. Xander: She couldn’t stand to do nothing. Veronika: A girl who didn’t foresee the consequences.

These are phrases which can't be used to determine Mai's status, since they talk about a specific thing which she did. Even if she's alive, these would still be in the past tense. Teruko's is explicitly talking about years ago; J and Eden are talking about things Mai probably did during her time at HP; and Xander's and Veronika's talk about the HPA Operation. These are inconclusive.

Miscellaneously inconclusive

Whit: A girl with many friends. MonoTV: It’s all your fault.

MonoTV's line doesn't refer to Mai at all, so it's not useful here. And I put Whit here because... frankly, I wouldn't trust him to tell us even if Mai really is dead. "[His] mother is dead, [he] omit[s] this truth", and all that. Though his quote does seem to imply she's alive, for what it's worth.

Present Tense

Charles: A girl who loves her family. Rose: She remembers everything that is important to others. Arturo: A girl who sees the beauty in everyone. Levi: A girl with a floral tattoo on her arm. Arei: She doesn’t like it when her friends fight. Min: An average girl with nothing special at all about her. David: She forgives everyone.

Admittedly, some of these don't actually have verbs, so putting them in "present tense" is a bit of a misnomer. Still, all of these seem to imply Mai's alive. Notably, David's line is right after Xander's and Veronika's in the code, so he might be saying this after the HPA Operation fell through? Take that as you will.

Past Tense

Hu: A girl who wanted to keep everyone safe. Nico: Everyone confided in her. Ace: A girl who had a bright future.

I was surprised by how few of these lines actually speak of Mai strictly as if she's died. They are all together, too, and separated from Xander's and Veronika's by Arei's and Min's in the code. But what's even more important is that these are still inconclusive.

When Hu says Mai "wanted to keep everyone safe", she could be talking specifically about the HPA Operation, and the phrase would be in the past tense even if Mai survived that.

When Nico says "everyone confided in her", that could mean everyone at one point or another told her their secrets, and again, it would be in the past tense even if Mai is alive.

And although Ace says Mai "had a bright future", we don't know why she no longer has one. It's possible the consequences Veronika speaks of only ruined Mai's future, but didn't get her killed.

With all this in mind, it actually seems like the quotes lean on the side of Mai being alive! That's still inconclusive, and MonoTV's quote is a bit too ominous for me to say they definitively confirm her status.

Especially because... well, the quotes aren't the only part of this discussion.

The MV Killed the Hope's Peak Star

Let's start with the biggest issue, the flowers of an unknown species.

As pointed out by delightfullydiscordant in this post, those flowers appear to be the same ones on Mai’s tattoo and Unnamed Classmate’s text boxes. And as the comments point out, they seem to be camellias.

The issue is that the MV confirms they’re white. And white camellias, in Japan, are popular funeral flowers and are associated with death. Yeah.

Now, let’s not bury the girl yet. White camellias also represent adoration and respect in a more platonic way than, say, red camellias, for example. They can also represent purity, beauty, and even hope. Yeah, we’re dropping the H word.

I also tried looking for literary references with white camellias, in the spirit of the MV. However, the only thing I found was that they show up in “To Kill A Mockingbird”, a book which if I recall correctly is never mentioned in the MV. And it’s a good thing, too, since they apparently represent racism in that book. I don’t think that’s related to Mai, frankly.

So, good news! It’s still not conclusive! Well, but there’s more. In particular, take a look at footnote 20.

This shows up directly after Mai's numeral and the brainwashed phrase I mentioned earlier. It’s a definition of the model of the five stages of grief, with the footnote itself simply claiming it is considered by many to be outdated. Also, there’s an emoticon of someone sticking out their tongue. Don’t know what else that would be, and I don’t know what to make of it.

But the fact it’s a model of how people deal with grief, usually related to death, and that it shows up directly after Mai’s numeral, seems to imply Mai’s dead.

And then there’s the problem of her numeral! Mai has one of the only ones numerals which is colored, in this case gray. The others are mostly just white, with the only other exceptions being Xander's (translucid, "(the world of abnormal sentiment dances)") and Min's (pink, stylised as the X of a death portrait, "democratic-ly" and the rules of class trials). It doesn't bode too well for Mai to have something in common with 2/3 of all confirmed dead people, I have to say.

However, it being gray specifically could be a direct reference to her death as well. Color theory (don’t question it for now) connects gray with the depressed persona of David, though, so this isn’t very conclusive.

And finally, edging into more “confirmation bias-y” territory, you remember how I said the position in the crosswords doesn’t really matter? Well, yeah, but. Mai’s name, as it goes over the A in Arei, also happens to cross the Roman numeral IV (4), a number related to death as per footnote four. In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s why Arei has it. You know, the third dead person. Nevertheless, again, crosswords positioning is usually not important, so take that with a massive grain of salt.

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So, what’s the conclusion? I think it’s still up for debate, but I lean more on the idea of Mai being dead. The flowers and the model of stages of grief are pretty damning, and I don’t think most of the quotes being in present tense can really be trusted.

Anyways, let me continue a bit with the idea of her being dead.

Sub-Theory: Shot Through the Heart, Xander’s to Blame

You remember how the MV claims there’s six bullets around? But it also tells you it’s impossible to find them all? I made a post about it, where I found the five bullets which I think are the only ones which i can be found.

My conclusion in that post, which I sort of stand by, is that if there’s six bullets, but only five are visible, the last one is likely loaded in the gun. It’s labeled “(not) a prop gun”, so it’s apparently real, but still connected to Xander.

The issue? That gun is sorta pointed directly at Mai’s portrait.

This kinda fits with the pieces I’ve been putting together. Mai (possibly) died because of the HPA Operation, but Xander may have been the one who originally planted that idea in her head. Or at least enabled her plans by finding documents. In that sense, one could argue it’s Xander’s fault Mai died. So, it kinda fits! I’m going with that.

The question now would be who blames Xander for Mai’s death. After all, I sorta doubt he’s the one who actually killed her. My original instinct was David, since that’s the guy the MV is about, but that doesn’t quite fit. David idolizes Xander a fair bit, so it feels odd to think he’d blame him for this.

Instead, if this theory is true, I think it makes more sense for Xander to blame himself for Mai’s death. Survivor’s guilt is a huge part of his character (see: the Bonus Episode and the quote on his page), so if he survived the fallout of the HPA Operation when Mai didn’t, he’d be quite heartbroken by it. And thus, he may end up blaming himself for dragging her into the whole mess.

So, that's about it for what we know about Mai's status. But would you believe it if I told you we're not done with the MV yet?

Color Theory

Color theory in the context of the MV refers to this post and reblog by accirax, where she went over every colored lyric in the MV and assigned each color a character based on the characters' color scheme and the lines themselves. I recommend checking out her whole post, it's really good and I won't talk about everything she brought up.

For our purposes, the important color is Mai's. And I agree with accirax that Mai is likely black (the color, not the skin tone). Although the color doesn't show up much in her color scheme, she's a generally cryptic character with a generally cryptic color. But the lines work with Mai better than practically anyone else:

>"You" x3: As pointed out by accirax, everyone is obssessed with Mai, so it sorta fits.

>"The track to the ideal country ->" The arrow points to a passage from "Utopia", btw. This makes sense with the HPA Operation. It's a vaguely revolutionary operation which seeks to improve the world, so you could consider that "the track to the ideal country."

However, we have to talk about the elephant in the room. Her color scheme would still set her up to be red. Maybe yellow if you count her eyes, but red is an important color for her. It wouldn't be unheard of for an important character to have two colors, since David has two. But red is a special color for color theory... because it's completely nonsensical.

Red is by far the most overrepresented color in the MV, having practically double the amount of lines any other colors do. And considering the color, you'd imagine it would either go to Mai, Xander or Veronika. However, no character fits all the lines that well, as explained by accirax in her posts. I explained in this reblog what I believe about this in detail, but essentially, I believe red is intentionally ambiguos, and any given red line can belong to any of the three characters I mentioned.

I'll quickly go over the way I would assign the red lines, but I'll only explain the Mai lines, since I already went into detail on the other ones in that reblog I linked to before. Keep in mind some may apply to multiple characters.

Unassignable: Aa, ah, isn't it?!

Veronika: whatever; go mad x3; broken; go insane?; won't change; original; you've killed so many; medicine; self-denial confessions; self-delusion.

Xander: are all just idiots (final verdict); Bye x2; Goodbye; escape!; together; are all just idiots!; ignorant; great applause!!!; won't change; original; and disappear!; 1; medicine; revolutionary; idiot; self-delusion

Mai: Bye x2; Goodbye; broken; God; and disappear!; medicine; revolutionary, self-denial confessions

I will mention, you can also give her all the "idiot" lines Xander has, as well as "won't change; self-delusion" and all that, since David (the guy presumably "singing") may be somewhat skeptical about Mai and her revolutionary ideas.

>Bye x2, Goodbye, broken, and disappear!: She's probably dead, so. I also inexplicably think "broken" works with her death, but not Xander's. I have no idea why.

>God: The biggest reason why Mai has to be included, the others just aren't as God-ish as Mai (hey, it's like that song!). Not much to say; it's connected to Mai via numeral XI, and I already explained why she could be "God" here.

>Medicine; revolutionary: She's a revolutionary thanks to the HPA Operation, and you could argue that means she's the "medicine" of society.

>Self-denial confessions: Mai works better with this line's original context (revolutionaries being coerced into going back on their ideals) than Veronika, but it still leaves behind the question of what exactly she's denying. Maybe denying the ideals of Ultimates, when she herself is (probably) an Ultimate? Something like that. I guess that could also work with Xander in hindsight.

So, there we go! Full interpretation of Color Theory as it relates to Mai. Wow, that was a lot for very little new info!

We're almost done with the MV, but first, we have to talk about the man himself.

David's Relation to Mai, and his Potential Involvement in the HPA Operation

But first, a side note.

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Does David remember Mai?

There's a theory floating around that David might remember parts of his time at HPA, including Mai's existence. Check out this post by anderscim and reblog by xmicrophonyx if you want a full explanation, but I'll cover the main points here. It's a really good theory, and it's not any less plausible than some of the other theories I'll mention later in the post, but I don't quite believe it.

See, the main evidence for this theory is that the Literature Girl MV includes Mai's face in the portrait and an image of Xander with two eyes, as well as things like the morse code and possibly tally 5 which seem to reference David and Xander's relationship during HPA time. And that's my first issue with the theory, I just don't think the MV can be used for this.

Of course, it comes down to interpretation, but the way I see the MV is as an abstract form of storytelling, not a completely 1:1 view of David’s mind. Essentially, while a lot of it is spoken from the perspective of David, it’s not actually a reflection of his real mental state, but rather a representation for us the audience. It’s hard to describe :v

The main thing that I want to bring up in support of my interpretation is the youtube comments scene, I hope you know what I’m talking about. There’s no way David would be aware of these comments, such as the one referencing the J and Arei swap theory. In particular, the comment talking about (presumably, the names aren’t explicitly written) Teruko as a protagonist is impossible for David to conceive, since there’s no way he would know we see her as the protag; and the ones that namedrop Byakuya, Nagito and Kokichi are practically impossible as well, as Veronika has claimed not to remember any other killing games before the one in DRDT. Kokichi in particular would be problematic depending on your interpretation of V3.

What does this mean? This means that the MV isn’t beyond showing us the audience things outside of David’s own mind, for the sake of storytelling. It’s not hard to imagine, then, that the scene with Xander having two eyes is meant to show us that they had a good relationship in HPA, even if David doesn’t remember it. Same with calling Mai “someone dearly loved.”

There’s also a few things about other characters which don’t quite match what David would know about them in the killing game. For example, Rose’s numeral: II. Ego cogito ergo (turbatus) sum. (I think therefore I am disturbed). This only really makes sense in the context of Rose’s conversation with Teruko and Nico, where she admits to having trouble separating reality from her memory and her dreams. But David wasn’t there for that. Another example is Teruko’s: XIII. or not to be? Which seems to reference her suicidal tendencies, implied in that one thing she said to Arei. Again, that’s not something David would be aware of during the killing game. 

Either David remembers way more about HPA than implied in the theory, or those are also examples of the MV going beyond David’s mind to continue telling us things about the story.

In xmicrophonyx’s reblog, she also brings up the pre-chapter dialogue as possibly being David’s. I… don’t see it, frankly. The pre-chapter 1 dialogue seems to fit Teruko more, imo.

“Half-remembering is worse than forgetting. Her name, his face…”

We know Teruko doesn’t remember Mai’s name based on the CH 1 EP 6 dream sequence from before, and the “he” could be her brother. Prosopagnosia, and all that. 

And while the chapter 2 dialogue could fit David and his feelings towards Xander  better, there’s nothing which explicitly implies he remembers anything about HPA before the killing game.

I still miss you. I miss you so much that I wish you had never been part of my life. The worst part is, even though you left me like this, there’s nothing I can blame you for.

Also I think that’s Eden but that’s besides the point.

And finally, now that you understand why I don’t think the evidence for isn’t very good, we have to address the evidence against. Mainly, the fact that David doesn’t seem to recognize Xander during his introduction. At all. He even explicitly says, “... I don’t believe we’ve met before”, and calls Xander “sir”. There was no indication at that point that they’d be missing memories, so David has no reason to pretend he doesn’t know who Xander is. In fact, I imagine that if he did remember Xander as having two eyes, and he sees him with an eyepatch, he would react to it in some way, right?

In conclusion, although I like the theory, I don’t think it’s very likely that David’s kept any memories from HPA time.

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Anyways, back to my speculation. There is relatively little reference to Mai in the MV, so it's not like we can get much here, but there is still one thing I want to talk about. And that's the morse code at the end of the MV. As translated by dav-suburbiia:

“YOU STILL BELIEVED IN ME DESPITE EVERYTHING I’VE DONE.” “BUT THAT’S JUST FANTASY, ISN’T IT?” “I SIMPLY CHOSE TO BELIEVE THAT YOU DID.” “AFTER ALL, I’M INCAPABLE OF BEING SOMEONE WITHOUT YOU.”

Now, most people assume this is about Xander, which is perfectly understandable seeing the context of the MV. However, I think there's an argument to be made that this is actually about Mai.

The main thing here is the apparent contradiction which rises if we assume this is about Xander. The "you" in this code knows what David "has done", but they also seemingly aren't around anymore. If we assume the first is referring to David's "manipulation" thing, then this would have to be about HPA Xanvid, since we've never heard of David confessing his issues to killing game Xander. However, if the "you" really isn't around anymore, this would have to be for killing game Xanvid, since Xander only died in the killing game. Am I making sense?

This isn't conclusive, mind you. You could say the code never explicitly says the "you" is actually gone, just that David can't be someone without them. Or, alternatively, that David did reveal "everything [he's] done" during the killing gmae. But it's still an odd way to phrase all this.

So, is there any evidence this is actually about Mai instead? Well, if you squint. The code is directly followed by footnote 22: "The rest is silence". Silence is the dislike stated in Mai's profile. Word association coming in clutch.

But perhaps more interesting is the phrase "You still believed in me despite everything I've done", combined with:

David: She forgives everyone.

The "you" in the code forgave David, and Mai evidently forgave him as well. It's not conclusive either, but it could be a connection.

Under the interpretation that this is about Mai, it would be related to HPA time. Mai still believed in David, or at least, at one point David believed Mai believed in him, and apparently gave him a purpose in life.

The worrying part about this code is actually the middle. "But that's just fantasy, isn't it? I simply chose to believe that you did". Apparently, it's possible Mai never actually trusted or forgave David, another reason I believe it's possible this isn't actually talking about Xander. As established, Mai can be deceptive when she wants, so it could work. We're missing a lot of information, so what exactly this all would mean is up in the air.

But in any case, it's possible that if David was given purpose by Mai or Xander, he would be involved in the HPA Operation, though how exactly is obviously impossible to know. I know this is really weak, but...

Okay, can we talk about Tally 5 yet? I kinda have to talk about Tally 5. Don't worry, I won't actually post the image.

!!!TALLY 5 SPOILERS (NO IMAGE)!!! SCROLL IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ ABOUT THE CONTENTS OF TALLY 5!!!

If you've been living under a rock under the past month or so, Tally 5 refers to an image you get to by solving a code related to the "correct/incorrect" code in the David MV and inputting it into a webpage accessed via the QR Code in the MV's books. I won't talk about the puzzle itself here, so if you want to solve it, maybe go do that or just scroll past this part of the post.

Anyways, as I imagine you know by now, Tally 5 shows David holding Xander's jacket with the following quotes under it:

I became a villain in pursuit of your dream.

I threw away my humanity for an ideal that I couldn't understand.

But I don't regret it. To "regret" is to imply that I could have done anything else.

I never told you, but the truth is, I wasn't capable of ever becoming human in the first place.

So in the end, you're always-

Listen, I'm not gonna pretend I have some sort of infallible exaplanation of what this means. I have several theories about it, and to give you an idea of how insane it is, one of my theories involves quote 3, the one about regret, being said by MonoTV. Don't ask. I might have to do a completely different post about all this, but I'm sorta waiting until I can read some other peoples' thoughts about it.

But for the purposes of this post, this, to me, heavily implies David was involved in the HPA Operation. He's probably talking about Xander here, and Xander's dream would be the HPA Operation, since as I said, it may have been his idea in the first place. That's the ideal David can't understand: an ideal to change a world David sees as immutable.

Now, the lone jacket would imply this isn't the case. It would seem David is saying this in the killing game, after Xander's death, as holding his jacket seems to imply he's gone. However, I don't know what the dream would be in that case. Killing Teruko? It's possible, but I find that unlikely.

So, yeah. Combined with the morse code, here's a full interpretation of what this could mean in relation to Mai:

Mai or Xander somehow learnt of David's true feelings and the way he sees his own actions. She/he forgave him, or at least pretended to forgive him, and this gave David hope. Mai/Xander then introduced David to the HPA Operation, and asked him to do something which would turn him into a villain, asking him to throw away his humanity for an ideal he couldn't understand. What exactly that would be is obviously impossible to know. David accepts, and even when the plan fell through, he doesn't regret doing what he did, because he feels he couldn't have done anything else.

Am I confident in this interpretation? Not really, but it's a plausible interpretation which is related to Mai and the HPA Operation, so I wanted to bring it up. There's a lot there which is probably wrong, but it's what I have for now.

!!!TALLY 5 SPOILERS OVER!!! YOU CAN START READING AGAIN IF YOU WERE AVOIDING THEM!!!

And with that, we’re officially done with the MV! I mean, I may reference it later, but now the bulk of it is gone. Surely this means we can get to some lighter theorizing and-

Teruko Tawaki

Yeah, we gotta talk about the other elephant in the room. Mai and Teruko are clearly connected in an important way.

The first thing to note with them is that they’re generally set up as opposites. Of course, the most straightforward thing is the “dearly loved/dearly unloved” portraits in the MV, but it goes much deeper. Also in the MV, Teruko’s numeral appears right after Mai’s, if that counts for anything.

Another thing is their color scheme. Teruko is mainly associated with green, while Mai is mainly associated with red. And these colors are complimentary; they’re opposite in the color wheel. Not to mention, taking Teruko’s redesign into account, one could associate her with black and Mai, thanks to her uniform and the white camellias, to white. In particular, it’s notable white camellias actually have a white flower, but a black stem. They’re even the same height, at 5’8”! It’s so they can kiss each other in the lips more easily

Additionally, their attitudes from what we’re seeing are also opposite. Mai “forgives everyone”, which means she’s really trusting, while Teruko is (for now) very distrustful. That one’s a bit looser, but eh. May I even go so far, as to say that right now, Teruko represents despair while Mai represents hope? Alright, now I’m reaching, but it fits. Teruko is someone resigned to her horrible fate (luck), while Mai constantly fought for a better world. In fact, Xander, someone Teruko associates with Mai, calls our protag out on her hopeless view of fate… right before stabbing her.

Hell, practically all good things said about Mai? Not true of Teruko (at the moment).

Charles: A girl who loves her family.

Teruko’s an orphan, and doesn’t remember her brother.

Rose: She remembers everything that is important to others.

Well, you could consider people’s faces something important to them, but Teruko has prosopagnosia.

Arturo: A girl who sees the beauty in everyone.

If you watched chapter 2, you know this isn’t true of Teruko.

Honestly, I could keep going like this, but I feel you get the point. There’s no reason for me to dwell on this further when you can just read the quotes and figure out how Teruko isn’t described by most of them.

Well, one possible exception is Levi.

Levi: A girl with a floral tattoo on her arm.

Yeah, time to talk about this theory.

Theory I Absolutely Believe: Teruko and Mai are Tattoo ‘Bud’dies

(Get it? Because flowers and buds- Yeah, no)

So shoutout to cider-est for first pointing this out in this post, but it’s true. Teruko’s left arm is always fully covered, either by bandages or by her jacket sleeve. Which is especially odd, considering her right jacket sleeve is always rolled up.

And it’s especially odd, because her left arm is covered even in the jacket-off reference picture.

And yes, there is a suspicious question mark next to Teruko’s left arm. It ain’t even subtle.

But if there’s still any doubt left in your mind, let skulemojee dispel it in this post, where they point out this image from Ch 2 Ep 2:

Yep, you’re seeing that right. Those black lines on Teruko’s left arm look a suspicious lot like the stems of Mai’s tattoo. It's not perfect, since we can't see any flowers and that may just be scars, but we never get a good enough look at the back of Mai's left arm to know if the flowers are tattooed on the forearm, or if only the stems reach that far.

(Also, Teruko in this scene says she doesn’t remember that scar in her back. Part of me thinks it’s related to Mai and the time of the missing memories, but the more rational side of me tells me I need to chill and stop seeing Mai everywhere)

It's also worth noting this would explain the choice of camellias for the tattoo. Remember, although they represent death in Japan, they mainly represent platonic adoration and respect. A very pretty thing to get matching tattoos with your bestie. But since they're not colored they could be interpreted as red and thus romantic for the shippers

So, yeah. I believe they share a tattoo. Which gives a whole lot of context to the quote.

Teruko: Some years ago, she was looking for someone named 'Teruko Tawaki'

In case it wasn’t clear before with the way Mai smiled at Teruko in that dream sequence, or the way Teruko associated Xander with Mai before she got stabbed by him, the fact they possibly share a tattoo implies they knew each other for a while and had a good relationship with each other. Another indication is that Teruko's favorite color, in the latest Q&A, is stated to be red by association. Sorry Xanruko shippers, that's clearly about Mai, since Teruko associates Xander with Mai in the first place.

What exactly the timeline of this mess is, is... complicated if the tattoo thing is true. Because that would require Teruko and Mai to have gotten the tattoo when at least Teruko was 18, both in Japan and the US. In some states of the US, she would be able to get it at a younger age if she got parental consent, but... what parents? She's an orphan.

In fact, when does that dream sequence take place? Is it Hope's Peak time? Can't be, because Teruko wouldn't remember it. Actually, why doesn't Teruko remember Mai's name is Mai had been searching for her for a while?

Yeah, I can't pin down anything specific about their relationship. Obviously I can't, this is a big mystery and we're only in Chapter 2. The best I can give you is that their relationship was clearly very positive, even before HPA.

...

Which is what makes this line so weird.

Mai: Hang on, "real Ultimate talent?" You're the Ultimate Student! I mean, it's not like you're a "Lucky Student" who was picked by lottery.

This line is really odd, isn't it? It seems uncharacteristically mean for Mai, to dismiss someone else's talent so readily. And Teruko's in particular, when again, they clearly liked each other well enough before HPA. This almost reads more like something Mai would say about herself rather than someone else...

Huh.

Theory: Mai, the Second Ultimate Lucky Student

As established before, Mai has a slight self-depricative streak, where she says things about herself she would never say about one of her friends. So, the fact she's so quick to dismiss the Ultimate Lucky Student as a concept could imply she is the Ultimate Lucky Student. (ULS)

Of course, the first question is how this would work with Teruko. A HPA class only has one ULS, and Teruko's there. I've seen others suggest perhaps Mai was the ULS at Japan's HPA, which is apparently still a high school, so it's possible for her to go there and then go to US HPA, which is more like college.

However, I actually think there's an easier explanation. Mai and Teruko both went to US' HPA at the same time. They just went to different ones.

Mai: The US Hope's Peak Academy takes in college-age students, and there's two of them, and we have this really weird curriculum, and there's a bunch of other things, and...

Yeah! Did you forget there's two HPAs in the US?! Because I sure did! I swear, I rewatched that Bonus Episode like 5 times before I caught that. How does this thing keep spawning in information?

I believe this is why Min specifically calls their class East Class 27. Seeing as this is in the US, I imagine there's likely an East Coast HPA and a West Coast HPA. But what would be the point of splitting the school like this? There's no reason the dev couldn't just keep them as just one HPA... unless there's a reason.

Because with two classes of the same age, there has to be two ULS of the same age.

Now, of course, it's possible West Class 27 is completely irrelevant to the story, but if you assume Mai is East Class 27's ULS and Teruko went to west coast HPA, a lot of things start to make sense. Have you ever wondered how Mai could have been in the same class as everyone else, when HPA usually only have 16 students? Well, it's because one (or more, possibly) just went to another class.

This also explains why we have to get this particular detail from a Bonus Episode. Although all the characters have talked about going to HPA, no one ever mentions which HPA they were invited to. It seems like a weirdly specific detail to omit, unless there’s a reason for it. Because if most of them were part of East Coast HPA, and one of them wasn’t, it would immediately stand out as strange to the cast.

And Mai does have some connections to luck. I mean, of course she does, her story is closelly intertwined with Teruko. For example, remember her birthday? February 1st? I told it'd be relevant, right? Well, as pointed out by fuji-iri in this post, on that day, there's 333 days left of the year. 3 is a number associated with bad luck, but there's also associations to "parting ways" and the three stages of life (birth-marriage apparently-death), again explained in the post I linked. That works with Mai and Teruko splitting up... whenever that happened, as well as Mai possbly dying, but the luck thing in particular is notable.

Now, the main reason I believed this before was just that "it's not like you're a 'Lucky Student' line", but as I researched this, I may have found something else? Except, it may just be me being horrible at code and getting really confused. If anyone can confirm or deny this, it'd be great.

Here's what happened. I noticed that when you look up Mai's name in Google, the text under the link to her page had Teruko's hidden quote: "It is an equal failing to trust everybody, and to trust no one at all." So I went into the code again.

First, I right-clicked on the title (Mai's name) and clicked "inspect". I expanded the "<head>" section (God I'm bad at this), and found this under <meta name>.

meta name="descripttion" content="Mai Akasaki Ultimate ??? "There's a way for you to be happy." It is an equal failing to trust everybody, and to trust no one at all. The protagonist. Despite having the Ultimate title of "Lucky..."

Now, at first, I assumed this was just a coding quirk where for some reason, I was seeing the text of the next character or something.

But, I checked some the other characters, and none of the ones I checked have the same style of text. Look, I'll transcribe some.

Teruko:

meta name="descripttion" content="Teruko Tawaki Ultimate Lucky Student “I will survive this, no matter what!” The protagonist. Despite having the Ultimate title of “Lucky Student,” it seems like the only luck Teruko has is bad luck..."

Xander:

meta name="descripttion" content="Xander Matthews Ultimate Rebel “Screw the rules!” Loud in both voice and personality, Alexander “Xander” Matthews earned the title of Ultimate Rebel through his consistent tendency to go against the..."

MonoTV:

meta name="descripttion" content="MonoTV “Ultimate TV Show Host” “I’m the most beloved character in the cast!” A strange robot with a television for a head. MonoTV claims to be the “Ultimate TV Show Host” who is in charge of an..."

I also checked Veronika, Whit and Nico, but didn't check any more since the pattern's easy to see.

As you can see, usually this section of the code just has the name, the subtitle quote, and part of the body text. None of them have the secret quote, unlike Mai's, which has the quote which is supposed to be Teruko's. But Teruko's name or subtitle quote is never brought up in Mai's "meta name" thing.

Again, maybe I'm missing something, but it really looks like that is meant to be some kind of description of Mai.

It sort of fits. Teruko's quote about trust can fit Mai, hell, is completed by Mai. Teruko usually shows the failing of trusting no one, but Mai may be meant to show the failing of trusting everybody. Mai is also important enough that calling her "the protagonist" is fitting enough.

And, if that really is about Mai, then the final portion is confirmation. "Despite having the Ultimate title of "Lucky..." If this is about Mai, then Mai is unequivocally an ULS.

Again, I don't consider this conclusive because I am an idiot and could very easily be wrong. The wording is exactly the same's as Teruko's, so again, it may be a coding oddity. But with all the other stuff I mentioned, I can at least say this is the theory for Mai's talent I believe the most: She's East Class 27's ULS, while Teruko went to West Coast HPA as their ULS.

Anyways, anything else about Teruko? Oh, yeah, a final sub-theory on her.

Sub-Theory: Shot Through the Heart, Teruko's to Blame

Take a look at the 2nd Anniversary picture.

[The three frames of the 2 year anniversary "video"]

Okay, I know you can't see shit here, but I'm running out of the 30 image limit. Check out lacunasweven's post where she discovered this (to my knowledge), and stfu-sage's reblog where he solved the code.

When solved, that code translates to “It’s all your fault”, which you may remember as MonoTV’s line about Mai.

So, Teruko reaches out for Mai, then “it’s all your fault” appears for a frame or two, and then suddenly Mai’s gone. It’s not exactly hard to imagine that this means Teruko is at fault for Mai’s death, or at least whatever consequences the HPA Operation had. How exactly is impossible to know, because again, it’s a mystery we’re not meant to solve yet. I have a gut feeling it’s probably related to Teruko’s luck, but that’s all it is, a gut feeling.

This doesn’t conflict the “Xander’s at fault” idea, if you’re curious. It’s possible for multiple people to consider themselves at fault for Mai’s death. Xander for bringing her into the HPA Operation, Teruko for her luck or whatever else happened.

Although… yeah, we gotta talk about that right? The scene before the prologue.

I can’t say anything definitive, because again, not something we’re meant to figure out at the moment. But I can tell you what I think.

First, the PoV character is probably Xander. There’s a bloody fork there, and while I’m not the one who came up with the idea, (see: anderscim's post about this) that’s likely the weapon which was used to take out his eye. His wounds do look suspiciously fork-like, though I struggle to explain it without images, and I’m already stretching thin to make the image limit. I’ll have to ask you to look it up yourself.

Anyways, that may be Xander, and this may be the incident where Xander lost his eye. The reason I’m bringing it up is that, since Xander is involved, there’s a chance this is somehow related to the HPA Operation. Here’s a full transcript of what’s said:

... Fuck!! Fuck, fuck, fuck, this really hurts... Ouch... I really wasn't expecting her to attack me like that. I made a massive mistake to trust them. I can't rely on anyone. All by myself... I have to end the killing game. And even if I can't do that... I have to kill Teruko Tawaki. No matter what.

So, a woman attacked Xander unexpectedly, managed to overpower him and stab his eyes out with a fork, then presumably ran away. And this all seemingly happened in some form of killing game. And Xander already wanted to kill Teruko.

I doubt Teruko was the one who attacked Xander. Because Xander calls her out by name at the end, and also because, how would Teruko be able to overpower Xander? Unless you “divine luck” your way into an explanation, I just don’t see it. In any case, it’s probably a different woman. Without knowing anything about the previous killing game, we can’t know much about this situation.

However, the fact that Xander already wanted to kill Teruko here is notable because it seems to imply this killing game happened after Mai's death. After all, Mai and Teruko had a good relationship, right? So Xander wouldn't have a grudge against her until after the HPA Operation fell through. The final conclusion here is that Teruko somehow caused Mai's death, which somehow led to the pre-series killing game. I think? Obviously, it's impossible to say anything conclusive here, and I don't even know what exactly the connection would be between Mai's death and the previous killing game.

And with that, we finish discussion of Teruko.

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Quick Side Note: The Mai-stermind Theory

I’m not funny.

So, in case it isn’t clear yet by the fact I keep assuming she's dead, I don’t think Mai is the mastermind of the killing game. I’m aware it’s a possibility, seeing as she’s very mysterious and all that, but frankly, I just have never seen anyone seriously bring up this possibility, since there’s essentially no evidence. It’s also important to note, even if she is a mastermind, she can’t be the only mastermind, since we know one of the participants of the killing game is a mastermind as well.

To be fair, I did notice some connections to MonoTV while researching. Like I mentioned at one point, they’re the only characters without any highlighted words in their subtitle quotes. And the secret quote in MonoTV’s page is “Her name is Mai Akasaki”, but frankly that feels a bit too… unsubtle. Also... no, actually that’s kinda it.

I’ve also seen some people attribute the “teacher” speech to Mai, but I really don’t think that’s her. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s the text in the code of the About page for DRDT on Tumblr. Here’s a post about it by delightfullydiscordant. I won't go into their theory on it, since it's unrelated to Mai. As you'll see, there’s nothing intrinsically relating the speech to our girl, and nothing in the text suggest she’s the one speaking, so I don’t think it’s related.

With what we know of Mai, I don’t think it makes sense to call her the mastermind. I’m only bringing it up now to be thorough, and because I didn’t know where else to put it :v

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Other Characters, Miscellaneous Connections

Essentially just me talking about all the characters I haven’t covered yet, to see if any of them could have a connection to Mai or the HPA Operation than what may seem at first.

Already talked about: Xander, Teruko, David

No Evidence of Connection Beyond ‘Classmates’: Rose, Arturo, Levi, Hu, Nico, Ace, Arei, Min

What this means is that while it’s technically possible these characters are related to Mai and the HPA Operation, right now we don’t have any indication of it. Sorry. That doesn’t mean I don’t have things to say about them.

Arturo is usually so mean that, honestly, the fact he says anything positive about Mai at all makes me wonder if he may actually be related. Reminds me a bit of David’s quote, I guess. But maybe I’m just biased because I want this guy to be plot-relevant.

I guess Levi mentioning the tattoo in his line could be important, but unless he has the tattoo too (which is possible I guess, but I don’t quite see it), I don’t know what it could mean.

I could actually see Hu’s and Ace’s lines implying a connection to the HPA Operation, honestly. Seeing as they’re some of the only people who actually talk about her in the past tense, I think it’s possible they were involved. Hu would want to help Mai if she felt she “wanted to keep everyone safe”, for what it’s worth. I sorta hope Hu is plot-relevant too.

Even if Mai is talking to Arei in her current subtitle quote, I don’t see much evidence Arei would be involved in the HPA Operation.

You may be wondering about my old theory about the Sleepy MV and how it could tie back to Mai, and while I still think it's a possibility, I frankly don't believe it anymore. It requires a very specific reading of the song which I don't think is entirely accurate, and there isn't actually much connecting the MV to Mai. I still think Min's line being so overly insistent on Mai being "an average girl with nothing special at all about her" could imply their relationship may have broken down because of the HPA Operation, which makes sense. If Xander engineered the plan, obviously Min will dislike it on principle. But that's probably me trying to make Min more plot relevant than she actually is.

Only Connected via “Original Killing Game” Theory: Charles, J, possibly Ace and Arei

What the hell am I talking about? In the Color Theory reblog I mentioned earlier, I described a wild theory that quite a few of the characters we know were actually involved in that pre-prologue killing game, and we can learn who those characters are thanks to the word "original". Sound insane? It is. I won't go over the reasoning here, I'll ask you check the reblog I linked.

This is the "Original Killing Game" Theory, and it's one of the most far-fetched theories I've ever enginereed. But since it's sorta connected, I thought I'd mention it. The characters involved are Charles, Veronika or Ace, David, Teruko, J/Arei, Xander, MonoTV, Whit. I’ve already talked about some of these, and don’t think MonoTV is worth talking about, frankly.

So, why am I only bringing up Charles and J for now, as well as potentially Ace and Arei since they could actually be part of the theory depending on how you interpret the colors? Well, these are the only ones in the “original killing game” theory who I don’t think have any evidence of being connected with Mai any further. Since that theory is already insane to start with, and it’s possible Mai was already dead when that killing game started, I don’t think it tells us anything.

Although sometimes I wonder if J’s quote is talking about something other than Mariabella, but at the moment, I have no clue what that would be. So that’s still the likeliest possibility.

Eden: Eden

Eden, huh? In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been sorta dancing around Eden’s line a bit, because… like, what in the actual fuck does it mean.

Eden: She kept calling the number, even though no one picked it up.

It’s such an odd line. It’s nothing like the other ones, which you’d think would make it significant, but it’s just… cryptic. I’m sorry, but while I think this probably means something, I don’t have a good answer of what it could be.

… Well, there is the one thing.

——————————————————————————————————

Crack Theory: Mai the Girl Kisser

This theory states that Mai is the girl mentioned in Eden’s secret, the one the Clockmaker kissed.

See? Theorizing’s easy! Just grab a random character we don’t know anything about, and slap Mai on top of it like a bandaid!

I’m aware the dev has sorta poked fun at people like me who see an unknown face and instantly jump on Mai, but at least this one has a bit more reasoning. Mainly, that I just don’t know what else Eden’s quote could be referring to.

Consider this concept: Eden and Mai kiss at some indeterminate point before HP, and Eden freaks out. She gets extremely worried about how Mai’s going to react, and she runs away. Mai tries to contact her afterwards, but Eden was avoiding her. Still, “[Mai] kept calling the number, even though no one picked it up”.

Is this essentially just fanfiction at this point? Practically, yeah, but I have nothing else.

On the insane off-chance this is true, it would come with certain implications. It would mean Eden and Mai had met before going to HPA, which is… uh, something. If it helps, that would mean their relationship would have a “new beginning” at HPA, and Eden’s character has some themes of new beginnings. Her birthday is on December 31st, so New Years, and her favorite color is daffodil yellow, when daffodils represent new beginnings. It’s small, but it’s there.

(And if you know who I am, you know I believe Eden killed Arei to reunite with the girl of her secret (long story). Mai helps here because of course she would have enough rizz to make a good girl go bad, have you seen how everyone talks about her? She would get all the bitches!)

Anyways, again, this is extremely silly, but it’s sort of the only thing I can think of for Eden’s line, so for now, have it. If anyone’s got better ideas, I’m more than open to hear them.

——————————————————————————————————

A Connection is More Plausible: Veronika, Whit

In no particular order, these are the characters, apart from Xander and Teruko and David, which I think have an actual chance of being involved with Mai and the HPA based on what we know so far. Let’s go a bit more in depth.

Veronika’s Peculiar Problem of Popping Up Fucking Everywhere

It is insane how many times I’ve brought up Veronika in this post without being able to pinpoint why exactly she keeps appearing. She shares the color red with Xander and Mai in my version of Color Theory, though admittedly that may just be her hair. She’s in the “original killing game” under that theory. Hell, she’ll show up again when I talk about Whit.

But by far, the most concerning thing about her is her line in the Mai page.

Veronika: A girl who didn’t foresee the consequences.

I’ve mentioned this line before, of course, because it’s clearly related to the HPA Operation’s fallout. In fact, it’s the only line apart from Xander’s and MonoTV’s which explicitly reference it. This could easily imply she was involved somehow, either as someone helping Mai and Xander, or actually going against them in some way. Whatever is more entertaining for her, I imagine.

There are two issues with this. One, I cannot discount the possibility that Veronika got that creepy and ominous line because she’s the creepy and ominous character, and it doesn’t actually mean anything for Veronika herself. It’s a very real possibility.

Two, even if she is involved, there’s nothing we have which could help narrow down what she did. Again, she’s too unpredictable.

In other words, while I’m putting Veronika here with the vague idea that she could be connected to it all, I don’t have any concrete theories.

Though maybe I should address the one Veronika-Mai theory which exists, for the sake of completion.

——————————————————————————————————

Crack Theory: Veronika Is Mai

To be clear, I don’t believe this. It’s pretty clear to me that Veronika is her own character with her own backstory. But I still want to point out some connections to show you how insane I’m going writing this.

+They’re both the same height (5’8”) and have long red hair. This is enough for my prosopagnosic ass to confuse them if they change hairstyle. Their weights and birthdays are different, but weight can change and birthdays can be lied about. Their chest sizes are different, though, so I’m pretty sure that rules out this theory already.

+Speaking of birthdays, August 7th, Veronika’s birthday, happens to be 7 months away from Teruko’s birthday on January 7th. 7? Lucky number. Lucky Student. Word association -> Mai.

+Veronika covers both her arms, so no tattoo would be visible.

+Veronika asks Teruko if she would recognize her were she to wear contacts, a wig and different clothes. This could imply she is, and would therefore be Mai.

+Her pose in the character profiles is vaguely similar to Mai’s, but flipped. This is interesting because no other character’s pose is even close.

+She wears a small earring given to her by someone named “Alyssa Belyaeva”. This by itself means nothing, but the earring is a small green triangle she considers a good luck charm. Luck?! And triangles have three sides. 3?! That number we said was unlucky and related to Mai before? And green. Green?! Teruko! Auasfruryg- <- short-circuiting from thinking too much.

+Veronika has plain brown eyes. Come on, have you seen this cast’s eyes? Those are absolutely contacts.

+Her hidden quote about people being broken could refer to the hopeful Mai being broken into Veronika as a result of the HPA Operation’s consequences.

Yeah, most of this is pretty silly, but again, I don’t think this theory is very likely, so I’m just poking fun at how suspicious Veronika can be at times.

——————————————————————————————————

Whit and Tetraphobia

At first, it doesn't really seem like Whit is too involved in this. I mean, his quote is pretty inoffensive:

Whit: A girl with many friends.

And sure, he is the Original Killing Game Theory, but even if that's somehow true, it's no guarantee he's involved in the HPA Operation or anything. Nothing really seems to connect him to Mai...

Except the one thing.

XV. Remaining ignorant, isn't that "happiness"¹⁵?

XV is Whit's Roman numeral, and again it isn't too strange on its own. Other than being the only numeral to ever show up alongside another numeral, in this case Veronika's because of course it's Veronika's.

The issue is the background text. It's hard to see, but there's faint pink text saying "subtract 4, due to tetraphobia⁴". Footnote 4 simply defines tetraphobia, which is the practice of avoiding the number 4, as it's considered a number related to death, and is seen as unlucky. Of course, the fours themselves are colored green for Teruko, presumably.

But the important part is, what does this mean? The most straightforward idea is to subtract four from the numerals on screen, or perhaps the footnote?

For the footnote: Subtracting 15 - 4 = 11, quick math, and that's the footnote which talks about being an only child and that (presumably) Diana Chiem never existed. I... don't think that makes too much sense for this scene, frankly.

For Veronika's numeral, subtracting XIV (14) - 4 = 10. That's Min's numeral, which shows up in the part of the MV most directly tied to class trials. This could simply imply she enjoys the trials and the bloodshed, and it also looks somewhat mastermind-y, but that's not really new for Veronika. You could also do this one more literally, taking out 4 from 14 and ending up with 1, connecting her to Xander, and at this point I'm not surprised.

But, of course. The tetraphobia line only shows up when Whit's numeral does, and it's colored in the pink associated to him via Color Theory, though of course, being background text, the tetraphobia line isn't actually included in that theory. That would seem to imply it's about him, right?

Well, in the same vein as before, if you subtract XV (15) - 4 = 11 (XI). And... that's Mai's numeral, attached to the line "God is dead". So, uh-

Sub-Theory: Shot Through the Heart, Whit's to Blame

The idea that maybe Whit was somehow involved in Mai's death. By the end of the series, I'm gonna end up blaming half the cast for this, apparently.

So, the tetraphobia thing is the most straightforward piece of evidence towards this possibility, but there's a bit more. For one, in the recent Q&A, it was stated that Whit's least favorite color is gray because it's boring, and that's the color of Mai's numeral. Remember how I pointed out it's actually one of the only numerals to be colored? Yeah.

Furthermore, Whit's numeral appears right before Mai's, but that may just be the way the song works out, since LGI wasn't made for DRDT. However, remember that "become brainwashed: go do it!" line I said was directly after Mai's numeral? Yeah, the word brainwashed is color coded pink, connecting it to Whit via Color Theory. And, if that wasn't enough, in the section for footnote five, the one with the Japanese characters? The word blood shows up, in pink, as the song speaks about revolutionaries. Yes, DR blood is pink usually, but there is red blood in the MV (near the snake), and the characters canonically see it as dark red (since that's the stated reason why dark red is Xander's and Charles' least favorite color). My point is, the dev could have made the blood red there, and/or just written the symbol for blood in red, but since it's pink, Color Theory ends up connecting it to Whit.

All of this could point to Whit as another culprit of Mai's death, but don't jump to conclusions. For one, since we have no clue about the circumstances, perhaps he only accidentally caused the death. We've seen that Teruko is also likely to blame in some way, probably in a similar fashion. And because it may have been accidental, this also doesn't mean Whit has to be the mastermind. It makes him look oddly suspicious, sure, but nothing too damning.

And of course, there's a huge chance I'm reading too much into things. There are other explanations for brainwashed and blood, and it's still totally possible that the tetraphobia thing refers to Veronika or even the footnote.

A Summary of Her Story, So Far

To end things off, I'll go over everything I've concluded with what we know so far, though of course I know we're missing a lot, and that a ton of this is also probably wrong. Here's how this is going to work.

Regular text means this is something we pretty much know for sure.

Italics means it's a theory I'm quite convinced of.

[Brackets mean I'm relatively unsure about something]

*Asterisks mean the theory is insanely unlikely, and it can probably just be assumed false*

{Braces are for flavor text, you can ignore this for theorizing purposes}

Closing Argument

>Mai was born February 1st, 20--, to a nice family she loved. We know little about her childhood, but [it's possible she was friends with or somehow got interested in a girl named Teruko Tawaki. However, fate kept them apart for years]. But Mai was not easily deterred, she would search for and find Teruko, no matter what.

>*As she searched for Teruko Tawaki, she met a girl named Eden Tobisa. They kissed, but Eden freaked out and ran away. Mai tried contacting her, she kept calling the number, even though no one picked it up.*

>At some point before Hope's Peak, her and Teruko reunited. *Even when Teruko couldn't recognize her and even struggled to remember her name*, Mai still remembered everything that was important for Teruko, as she always did.

>Mai and Teruko, loving each other so much, decided to get matching floral tattos on their arms. White camellias, a symbol of adoration and respect.

>{But fate really didn't like to see them together.} Soon, Teruko received a letter, teling her she was chosen as the Ultimate Lucky Student of Hope's Peak's [West Class 27]. This was uncharacteristically good luck for Teruko, who before had to hop around schools, always stealing uniforms, just to get an education.

>{The problem?} At the same time, Mai received a letter that she was invited to join Hope's Peak's East Class 27 as their Ultimate Lucky Student, on the other side of the country. Mai never really cared much about Ultimates or Hope's Peak, {but Teruko insisted it was too good of an opportunity for either of them to pass up. They decided to keep in contact,} as Mai headed to East Coast Hope's Peak.

>Alexander Matthews is scouted as the Ultimate Rebel. David Chiem is scouted as the Ultimate Inspirational Speaker.

>At Hope's Peak, despite being an average girl with nothing special at all about her, she quickly became a girl with many friends. She saw the beauty in everyone, and everyone agreed she had a bright future. Everyone confided in her, J even telling her about her mother, something which Mai kept secret, and told no one.

(Okay, maybe fitting in all the quotes isn't as easy as I hoped it'd be)

>*She even reunited with Eden, and they decided their relationship would have a new beginning*.

>However, she also met a very interesting boy: Xander Matthews. He had gone to Hope's Peak with one goal in mind: revolution. He confided in her, as they all did, his issues with Hope's Peak and the system it was built upon. Mai was revolted by the truth, and asked what she could do to help. She couldn't stand to do nothing. She wanted to keep everyone safe.

>With that, the HPA Operation started.

>They started small; stealing a few documents here and there. [But their plans grew bolder over time.]

>[Along the way, they discovered something shocking]. David, who always spoke of change and hope, was hiding his true feelings. He didn't see himself as human, not being able to relate to his peers as the others did. He saw himself as a manipulative bastard for lying to all the people he gave speeches to. He hated himself, and expected Mai and Xander to hate him, too.

>[But they didn't. Xander still saw the best in him, and Mai? Well, Mai forgives everyone. And to make him see the good in himself, they asked him to help in the HPA Operation]

>He didn't understand it, not really. The world wouldn't change, no matter what Mai and Xander told him. But even though he didn't understand, he still wanted to help them.

>As the popular Ultimate Inspirational Speaker, David had more connections and influence than a simple Rebel or Lucky Student. That meant he could offer things to the Operation the other two couldn't, even if it was through... less than moral means. But to David, that was no object. He would become a villain in pursuit of their dream, throw away his humanity for this ideal. It's not like he could have ever been human, anyways.

>*Not everyone was as receptive, though. Min in particular, after finding out about the plan somehow, got quite angry with Xander and Mai. It wasn't unusual for the Student and the Rebel to disagree, but Mai still didn't like it when her friends fought*

>Mai knew it was risky, she really did. But nothing could prepare her for what was about to happen. She didn't foresee the consequences.

>[When Teruko was visiting], the HPA Operation faced a huge issue. A plan gone wrong, a variable miscalculated. And, with Teruko to blame, [and possibly Whit] *and Veronika, who got dragged into this mess at some point*, Mai died.

>{Chaos ensued. Mai's death broke the class, reverberating through the students like the rumbling of a fallen god's corpse. "It's all your fault!" Xander screamed at Teruko,} hiding that he felt responsible for her death as well. After all, he was the one who had dragged her along. And now, he was once again left alive to mourn a death he himself narrowly avoided. Talk about survivor's guilt.

>[One thing led to another, and a killing game was set up]. Xander and Teruko got stuck in it, with Xander losing his eye as he tried everything he could to end the game, or at least kill Teruko. *Charles, Veronika/Ace, David, J/Arei and Whit might have also present in this killing game, ran by MonoTV.*

>More stuff happened, and finally, the students all lost their memories and wound up in the killing game we follow throuhout the series.

>A shattered dream, a tragic fate, a broken hope. Though mystery continues to shroud her existence and her role in the story, for now, this is my final conclusion on the story of: Mai Akasaki, the Ultimate ???

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Holy hell this was pain to write. I don't want to make another post this complicated for a while. Jesus. This broke my soul.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed my insane ramblings, if you really were strong enough to put up with my madness for this long. I still want to hear any thoughts you may have, since this character is really interesting and cool and fun to theorize about.

But for now, I leave. Thanks for reading! If you made it this far, then just know, Mai would be proud of you! And you should know, because you should practically be a scholar on her by now. Take care!

[kara-zor-els]

Do you have any recomended readings for Jason Todd? Not a full masterlist, just runs you'd recommend

I answered this way back but I have read a lot more comics since, so I think that it's a good time to revise it. All the links lead to readcomicsonline, so I'd recommend using an addblocker before clicking on them. And please make sure to buy the comics if you can.

✨Jason Todd Comic Recommendations ✨

Pre-Crisis

Pre-crisis Jason was essentially a clone of Dick, down to his dead parents being circus performers, so there is not a lot of this era that I'd recommend, and you can honestly skip this section. That being said:

For The Man Who Has Everything (Action Comics Annual #11): this is not really a Jason story as much as an (iconic) Superman story. It does however mark the first meeting between Jason and Wonder Woman, and he does play a role in defeating the bad guy.

Post-Crisis Robin Era

Main Robin Run (Batman (1940) #408 - #425): this includes the revised Jason origin (aka the one most people know about), Jason's first mission as Robin (ft. Two-Face!), Jason and Dick teaming up for the first time (this Jason and Dick team up got retconned in Nightwing Year One, but imo the original one is much better) and some other Jaybin adventures. My favourites are Bruce and Jason trying to catch a Serial Killer terrorizing Gotham as well as the Felipe Garzonas storyline, which sets the stage for ADITF.

Legends: This is a small event and Jason isn't in it a lot but I really liked it.

A Death in The Family: Jason dies in this one.

Post Resurrection (aka, the Red Hood era)

Under the Red Hood: this is the deluxe edition, which includes the main UTRH sotryline as well as the fight prior to that set during the the Hush story arc and Batman Annual #12, which is Jason's first Red Hood origin (it get's expanded upon later in Lost Days):

Red Hood: Lost Days: Essentially Jason's time between coming back from the dead all the way to UTRH

Teen Titans #29: The Titan's Tower incident. a lot of people dislike this one but personally I though it was pretty fun lol. Basically Jason beats up Tim in the most dramatic, theater-kid-esque way possible.

Green Arrow #69-72: Jason vs Mia Dearden.

There are some stuff set between this and the New52 but I have either not read them (Brothers in Blood, Countdown) or they were bad (Battle for the Cowl). Then there comes the New52 RHATO run (horrible) and the Rebirth RHATO run (not as horrible but still bad) So instead I'd skip to Infinite Frontier and recommend:

Batman: Urban Legends #1-#6: The first story called Cheer has a Jason and Bruce team up. It's not the best but I don't hate it as much as any of the RHATO stuff.

Task Force Z: Jason joins a team made up by zombified Batman rouges. That one was actually good.

Elseworlds:

From the DC Vault: Death in the Family: Robin Lives!: What would have happened if Jason didn't die during UTRH (currently ongoing)