#which is also stupid because its bound to happen to me at multiple points of my life and i just need to get over it

[sethsbigtits]

i forgot how scray having crushes are jesus fucking christ. like, one moment, i'll be over the moon because they text me and then all of a sudden i get scared when they don't respond for a bit and begin to overthink things. its even worse because i have anxiety and paranoia so now, im out here acting a complete hormonal, anxious, paranoid little freak until i get a response. like, i feel so,,,, weeeiiiirduh.

[sephirthoughts]

Can you do 15 and 32 for Cid in the headcanon ask game please?

I LOVE CID!! Thank you for the excuse to talk and think about him more

Cid Highwind

-15- pets or feelings about animals:

Cid seems like the type of guy who is just naturally adept with animals. You know the type? Where any wild or uncontrollable animal will be sitting and rolling over on command and eating from the palm of his hand within five minutes of meeting him. I also think Cid has a big, tough, super weirdly well-behaved junkyard dog that is so smart you can't believe it's not a person. Like Dogmeat from Fallout or D-Dog from Metal Gear Solid V, like it guards the airfield and knows how to use a combat knife and scope enemy bases and create distractions. And like Cid can say "Rocket" and then just click to it, and the dog will go "boof" and run off and like twenty minutes later it'll come back with groceries.

I think his love for big dangerous animals (and their love for him) comes in especially handy with Vincent because his Cid magic works on the Galian Beast too, so like everyone's scared of it but Cid. I have this HC that sometimes Vincent can't control the transformation, and just goes feral and becomes the Galian Beast, every once in a while. He usually has some lead-up so he can tell when it's going to happen, and they can get him somewhere isolated before he runs amok, but every once in a while it just happens without warning, at which point everyone is like oh shit we're screwed someone get Cid before Shinra sends in troopers and Rufus bills us for all the tanks that get destroyed

Galian: -rampaging tearing shit up throwing cars- citizens: -fleeing in terror- Cid: HEY! YOU PUT THAT BUS DOWN! Galian: *ROOOAAAAARRR* Cid: I SAID DROP. IT. Galian: *roooaarr?* Cid: -raises eyebrows- Galian: -drops bus and comes bounding over to Cid like a puppy acting like it wasn't the one who was just chewing up post boxes and tossing vehicles- Cid: -petting its belly- awww who's a good boy. citizens: …. Cid: uhh...heh. sorry, everyone. he gets a little rowdy if i forget to take him for walkies

NOTE: this applies even if you don't ship Cid and Vincent. i 100% believe they'd be like this either way

-32- toxic traits:

Ok, well there are funny and not-funny answers for this, but I think the not-funny ones have kind of been stealth retconned by this point, with how they've changed his character and just sort of not mentioned anything about it. Which is good because honestly Cid was a….difficult character to enjoy. Back then his toxic traits were literally verbally abusing Shera into the dirt over his misdirected anger about the rocket launch screw-up, and subsequent loss of his career and everything he'd been working toward. She blamed herself and let herself be treated that way in this simpering, self-flagellating, doormat way that made me eye-roll so hard the planet tilted on its axis. I have seen this trope in Japanese media with female characters multiple times, and it's always portrayed as if the female character is somehow doing a noble thing by spending her life as some prick's punching bag and i fucking haaaaaate it. I absolutely *hate* that they made them married in one of the games, too, because that just makes the situation way grosser and more toxic. The whole relationship between Cid and Shera was godawful and terribly written, especially since the other characters just took it in stride and were like "seems normal to me". It also doesn't track with the way they've changed his character in general, in the current iterations of the story. BUT NEVER FEAR! I have personally de-canonized the whole thing, removed the stupid and pointless abusive dynamic, kept Cid and Shera colleagues and friends who had some rough times and fell out and then forgave each other like adults yay character development, and made her a cool lesbian with her own life who doesn't take any shit from anyone. YOU'RE WELCOME SQUEENIX.

Anyway that's the not-funny toxic traits. On to the fun stuff!

MY Cid's toxic traits are as follows:

Smoking way too much and then being all surprised about it when he gets winded during really demanding fights

Acting like his aviator goggles are glasses and putting them on to pretend to squint at restaurant menus, just to mess with the waitress, like his vision isn't flawless (he's a pilot, it has to be)

Dad jokes

Calling Vincent a series of increasingly ridiculous pet names just to see how long he can get away with it (darlin, sugar, sweetheart, babydoll, cinnamon bun, angel pie, sweet potato casserole, nana highwind's famous pineapple upside-down cake). The joke is on him, however, because Vincent knows exactly what he's doing and takes every nickname in stride without objecting to any of them. Actually the joke is on the rest of the crew, who are the innocent bystanders having to hear all of this. NOTE: this also applies even if you don't ship Cid and Vincent. He absolutely behaves this way toward his platonic best friend. Which may explain why Vincent is his only friend.

Buying loaves of processed white bread and pre-sliced american cheese but then acting all fussy and particular about exactly which artisanal stone-ground mustard is used on his sandwiches

Pretending there's heavy turbulence but actually he's shaking the plane around just to amuse himself and annoy everyone

Using his accent to play stupid so no one asks him questions or expects him to come up with plans, even though he's an actual literal rocket scientist

Falling asleep in the theater during any movie or stage production whatsoever. It doesn't matter if it's boring or interesting or if he's into it or not, something about theaters just knocks him out like a light. As a result, he and Vincent have slept through a grand total of 26 movies and 5 productions of Loveless. Everyone knows about it but the general consensus is just let the old men sleep they're happier that way

OH ALSO this is not a toxic trait just a random HC: i think Cid and Reeve would get along really weirdly well. like they're from totally different personalities and backgrounds and have different lifestyles and careers and yes reeve is an executive at Shinra but they just hit it off like crazy. Cid is always nice to Cait Sith maybe that's what makes me think that. i dunno

Thanks for the ask, I hope you enjoyed my ramblings!

[kazoosandfannypacks]

⭐️⭐️⭐️ (sends you multiple stars so you can yap as long as you want)

This is (Kinda) the Way: Director's Cut

Though all Mandalorians placed heavy emphasis on the value of their beskar armor, for some it was just armor, a thing only to be taken up in a time of war. Others believed that to remove your helmet or even so much as a glove around another living being was to make yourself an outcast. Most Mandalorians fell somewhere on the spectrum between them, and house Wren and its clan leaned towards the latter, not allowing themselves to remove their helmet. Their custom held one distinct caveat: once a Mandalorian had chosen a partner, a partner for life, their souls bound by a tie no man could sever— then, and only for them, could they remove their helmet, and share their face for the first time with another living soul. Or "the au in which Ezra falls for Sabine without even seeing her face"

First off, the reason for the title. Of course, it's a reference to Din and his clan's trademark catchphrase, "this is The Way," but as I considered that, I went, "but Sabine CAN take off her armor eventually. This is only KINDA the way" and that phrase stuck with me, so I kept it for the title.

For those wondering about my personal knowledge of getting stabbed in the foot that I mentioned in the ao3 author's notes, I will be explaining it under the cut. TW: obviously, mention of stabbing, blood

As many of you know, I am an artist, and I typically do traditional, pencil and paper art. I also tend to do this a LOT while watching tv in the evenings with my family because I need to be doing two things at once. I feel crowded when I have a tray table in front of me, so I was holding all my art supplies in my hands/lap. I needed to get up to grab something, so I held my sketchbook and pencil, but the pencil slipped, and just as I stepped down so I could stand up, it pointed straight up, and I stepped on it, stabbing it several inches into my foot. We removed it without too much blood loss (though there was a lot of pain,) and it didn't cause any major damage, praise the Lord!

Anyways, onto the fic!

Though this is a sabezra fic, I also made sure to provide a lovely little treat for my kanera fans out there:

 "I just," Ezra sighed, "I know you're the best person to ask— that is if I don't wanna get laughed at for asking or end up getting my question answered with two more questions I don't know the answer to like Kanan always does."  Hera smiled a little as Ezra said that, which he added to his mental folder of What Exactly Is Going On Between Kanan And Hera, Anyways?

Later in the fic, when Ezra remarks to himself that it was almost like the sound of Sabine's voice was enough to give him unreasonable joy, that is a reference to an obscure novel from 1907, and I'll give you one guess as to which one it is. I also really loved, in that scene, having Zeb be one of the catalysts of Ezra realizing he likes Sabine, because the Zeb and Ezra friendship is criminally underrated.

Also? Ezra is goals throughout this entire fic, and I feel the need to say it. He's a respectful and dignified young simp and I think we need more people like him in the world. That is all.

That being said, my favorite inside joke in the Sabezra fandom is making fun of Ezra for kriffing up his first meeting with Sabine's dad, and I couldn't not include it in this fic as best I could.

I personally think that I have never summed up the entire Sabezra dynamic better than this scene:

 As the medical droid tended to his wound, Sabine sat next to him, holding his right hand lovingly as she sent forth a flurry of angry Mando'an words at him that amounted to a more colorful version of "don't you dare do something that dangerous and stupid again."  "Aww, 'Bine," Ezra smiled under his helmet, (he always wore one of his repurposed helmets on Krownest, to respect her people's traditions,) "I didn't know you cared so much."  "Maybe next time that happens I'll just let you bleed out," Sabine teased.  "You wouldn't dare," Ezra said, "besides, what is it you always say? Something about finding my combat skills and selfless bravery attractive?"  "Bravery?" Sabine asked, "more like borderline stupidity."  "And this one was skillful, brave, and borderline stupid," Ezra said, wishing his helmet didn't hide the playful expression on his face, "admit it, you thought it was hot."  "Maybe a little," Sabine said nudging his uninjured shoulder with hers, "just never do something that ho- stupid again, understand?"  "You and I both know I can't avoid that," Ezra said.  "I know," Sabine faked an overdramatic sigh as she rested her head on his shoulder.

And also? The Ezra-Sabine-Tristan banter in the next scene??? Top tier, if I may toot my own horn, and quite frankly I need to write more fics about the three of them as well.

 "Be good to her," was all Alrich said in reply, and as Sabine's hand slipped into Ezra's, he understood what he meant.  "I will," Ezra nodded, "I don't intend to do anything that stupid."  "He made a promise not to do anything stupid," Sabine said.  "The jury's still out on how long Bridger can keep from doing something stupid," her brother interrupted, "but he's earned my respect."  "I'll take care of her," Ezra said, "and if I don't, well, I have full confidence that she can 'take care' of me, and probably knows at least a dozen ways to hide the body."  "Two dozen," Sabine said, and that's when Ezra knew he'd been on Krownest for too long, because there was something almost romantic in the way she'd just threatened him, and he'd been around Mandalorians long enough that he enjoyed it.

I also want to point out the framing of the face reveal scene. If the "It's not like I'll never take off my helmet. Showing my face would be a sign of commitment. It would show that I'm absolutely sure I want to spend the rest of my life with someone. I'd have to know that I love someone enough, with all my heart and soul, to want to them to be my forever." sounded familiar, it's because I based it off of the blueprint for childhood friends to lovers, aka Cory and Topanga.

And yeah! That's about all I have to say on that one! Thanks for reading!

[randomvarious]

Today's compilation:

Hard Rock Essentials 2000 Hard Rock / Blues-Rock / Arena Rock / Hair Metal / Pop-Metal / Heavy Metal / Adult-Oriented Rock / Progressive Rock / Pop-Rock

God, classic rock really has to be the most over-entitled and over-represented type of music in America, man. I mean, can you think of any other non-contemporary stuff that has a radio station solely dedicated to it in virtually every nook and cranny of this country? It's pretty obvious why it's managed to own so much radio real estate over the years, though—because it's pure catnip for nostalgic white boomers—but if you zoom all the way out and think about all of the music that's come and gone since the 50s, there's really no justifiable reason for this stuff to get so much more airtime than any other type of music from the past. I mean, classic rock is fine for what it is, but it's definitely not leaps and bounds better than everything else.

Take a song like Foreigner's "Hot Blooded," for instance, which is just one of multiple tracks to appear on this triple-disc compilation of so-called Hard Rock Essentials here that happens to deal with the complex subject matter of, *checks notes*, being extremely horny. "Hot Blooded" was a hit in its day, sure, but so were literally tens of thousands of other songs too. And I guess, at the end of the day, I just don't really understand why this song, and so many other ones that are featured on this comp as well, has earned its keep as a fixture of constant classic rock radio rotation. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, is "Hot Blooded" really all that remarkable of a song, so much so, that we need to keep continuously hearing it on our radios year after year? No way!

But, folks, I have to admit that it is actually far too late for me on this front. I am by no means a boomer, but I was, at one point, part of another segment that, like clockwork, fell prey to classic rock radio too: the insufferable tweenage boy subset who grew exasperated with the mindlessness of his own generation's contemporary top 40 fare and decided that "Smoke On the Water" and other songs of its ilk were actually the best shit in the world. Little did we know at the time, and some of us still refuse to see it, that a lot of this shit was actually every bit just as dumb as the stuff that we were trying to so actively avoid. God, how embarrassing.

But I really just cannot help it at this point. As much sense as I've tried to make at the top of this post, I really did have a substantial classic rock phase, and now that shit is just hard-coded into my own DNA. Quiet Riot's "Cum On the Feel the Noize" is not a song that deserves to ever be heard by anyone ever again—it's so fucking bad!—but God damnit, I can't stifle the smile that starts to plant itself on my face whenever that stupid thing comes on. And it's much the same for the vast majority of the other tracks that are on this comp too.

So, while Hard Rock Essentials might be revered as a biblical classic rock sampling for both a certain type of tweenage boy and white boomer alike, for me, personally, it's nothing but security blanket rock. This is music that served me well years ago, and I've clearly outgrown it too, but there are also times when I just love to go back and swaddle myself in it as well 😊. And if I'm with someone who swears by this kinda stuff, I'm obviously gonna fully rock out to it with them too, but then maybe, afterwards, I can make their heads explode with a piece of Philadelphia shoegaze from 1996 that only has 26 YouTube views 🤯.

And I'm not gonna really get too much into it here, but we also really need to have some kind of deep reckoning with this whole propped-up and closed-looped classic rock industry that serves itself with all these nearly identical radio station playlists, cheaply produced TV countdown shows, and countless 'greatest of all time' lists on tons of different websites. I'm not trying to do conspiratorial tin foil hattery, but this whole apparatus really needs to have a stick thrown into its spokes, because it's been dominant as an unchallenged authority on classic rock for far too long. Rather than yet another spin of "Rock You Like a Hurricane," a much more thorough exploration of this vast expanse is indeed possible; I can promise you that.

Highlights:

CD1:

Ted Nugent - "Cat Scratch Fever" Great White - "Once Bitten, Twice Shy" Kansas - "Carry On Wayward Son" Quiet Riot - "Cum On Feel the Noise" Warrant - "Heaven" Judas Priest - "You've Got Another Thing Coming" Loverboy - "Lovin' Every Minute of It" Blue Öyster Cult - "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" Scandal - "The Warrior" Living Colour - "Cult of Personality" Mountain - "Mississippi Queen" Argent - "Hold Your Head Up"

CD2:

Foreigner - "Hot Blooded" Bad Company - "Feel Like Makin' Love" INXS - "Need You Tonight" Damn Yankees - "High Enough" Ratt - "Round and Round" Skid Row - "I Remember You" Black Sabbath - "Heaven and Hell" The Doobie Brothers - "China Grove" White Lion - "Wait" April Wine - "Just Between You and Me" Twisted Sister - "We're Not Gonna Take It"

CD3:

Whitesnake - "Is This Love" Golden Earring - "Radar Love" Joe Walsh - "Rocky Mountain Way" Scorpions - "Rock You Like a Hurricane" The Allman Brothers Band - "Whipping Post" Uriah Heep - "Easy Livin'"

[growingstronglikeahighgardenrose]

Watched The Last Voyage of the Demeter last night and I... Just can't understand how even Stephen King and Del Torro are fans? I'm happy so many people enjoyed it but I found it baffling in its disregard for the plot, the characters and any and all lore, and just good cinema? It's such a pity because I was so hyped. And even more of a pity because the movie is SO beautiful in regards to set, filmography and score. Gah!

Spoilers below

The rules set up in the book? Toss them: not a single rule aside from Dracula only coming out at night (which is not even a fixed rule in the book) is followed. Dracula isn't bothered by crucifixes and does not use his morphing power to become other creatures. Which means the iconic final scenes of the captain being bound to the ship an dog-ula jumping off the ship did not happen.

creature design: by the time dracula leaves his castle he's looking like a nice old man with an eccentric mustache and can speak perfect English. He planned his departure for decades at least. This Dracula looks like a half-decayed corpse monster, which I could have understood as a creative decision (i.e. dracula not bothering to look nice since he'll kill them all anyways) but dracula is also weakened and seems to be barely able to understand English. I'm supposed to think this creature managed to plot to have his coffin brought to the ship and multiple residences having been set up in the UK for him when he's this weak and monsterly? And the design after looking at it for a while doesn't look monsterly, just very ugly and dumb. And the burning scenes for the sired crew looked bad. very bad. The gruesomeness was cool though.

Book-dracula is dumb, he's dumber: so book dracula is dumb because he ate his way through the crew before arriving safely, right? and his hubris gets him killed in the end as well. But this thing? Even more dumb. Book dracula planned his trip for decades at least. He's got tons of wooden crates with dirt because he knows he might need to be able to hide in them when another coffin is found out. But it also has the added benefit of making it harder to find him, because there's many identical boxes, and if the crew were to start searching, the odds of finding him before he managed to escape were lower. This dumbo has x amount of random crates, and then one MEGACRATE with his crest which is so obvious it's stupid. Also: what's his game? Hiding or not hiding? He hides his first body but not the blood on the ship? But then some other killings he's not even ashamed of being seen? Why?

bad movie making: why add additional people? Is there a point to Clemens' backstory? He didn't use his doctor skills a lot and his backstory has no pay off in the end. Anna is just an infodump. The boy is a great actor and lovely, but he was just inserted to draw on our heartstrings. On top of that the movie doesn't set up its reveals properly. Sure, dracula sired/half transformed some of the crew and Anna, but with the first man he is first just a transforming mess, then becomes possessed at night when dracula practices control over him, and at dawn he's suddenly sensible somewhat? He's immediately dying to sunlight. Then Toby. No transformation, just straight up dead? And then turns monsterly during the day??? That's another way of it happening, no logical repeat. Then Anna is suddenly revealed to have been slowly dying? But it wasn't set up by any kind of sun-sensitivity or her temporarily losing control over her actions? A shame.

Dumb actions; they hammer the ship shut so dracula "only has one way out". But dude? he's literally gotten into every room of the ship without explanation or broke his way through. Why wouldn't he be able to now? Are the characters amnesiacs?

This was so frustrating because I LOVE the books, and I love almost all dracula movies, and there's a lot of bad ones and B-movies and even C-movies. Bad special effects, gore and unfaithful adaptations don't phase me. But I need the characters to be consistent and not dumb, for there to be some rules about vampires, for the movie to be consistent and for the plot to make sense, for characterization to be a chekhov's gun instead of random trivia.

[thebluespirit83]

debunking pro-snape/anti-james arguments and putting it on the internet because clearly i hate myself. buckle up. this is gonna be a VERY long post. im ready for the amount of hate i will get; im willing to take one for the team. 

1. james forced lily into dating/marrying/etc him 

this literally never happened? because its almost as if lily is her own person who is able to stand up for herself-

“I wouldn’t go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,” said Lily.

“LEAVE HIM ALONE!” Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily.

She turned on her heel and hurried away [from james]. 

-and so she would not allow someone to walk all over her. its almost as if james (canonically) matured as a person, and she appreciated this, realised he was a good person and got feelings for him? because james’ only negative traits were that he was conceited and a show off. people are able to mature and grow from these things! james did this! he did not ‘force’ lily to go out with him!

2. james and the other marauders bullied snape

you know what, i cant even disagree with this one. you’re right - they did bully him. but lets look a little bit at the context. 

sirius and james were both upper class, naive white rich boys. they are idiots. they were both stupid smart teenagers!! they were popular! and while this does not excuse the gross bullying snape was subject to-

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape’s mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him

Several people watching laughed; Snape was clearly unpopular ... Snape was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.

-it (unfortunately) makes sense with context. james and sirius also stopped bullying people, and even expressed discomfort/regret with the way they acted-

“I’m not proud of it,” said Sirius quickly.

“Of course he was a bit of an idiot!” said Sirius bracingly, “we were all idiots!

[sirius talking to remus] you made us feel ashamed of ourselves sometimes

A lot of people are idiots at the age of fifteen. He grew out of it.

-when they were younger! i’d also like to point out these little lines i noticed when i was finding quotes for my argument which snape stans like to ignore:

James and Snape hated each other from the moment they set eyes on each other

I mean, he [snape] never lost an opportunity to curse James

there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James’s face, spattering his robes with blood

wow, look at that. the hate they felt for each other was mutual! snape also jinxed james! but oh wait - james was the one who matured! snape was the one who bullied his son twenty years later because he looked like james! 

3. snape didnt abuse the kids at hogwarts 

here’s a real argument i saw when looking through some pro-snape posts: ‘snape wasn’t an abuser, because abusers don’t let their victims retaliate, but snape did let the kids talk back to him’

what. the. fuck?! 

this is the dictionary.com definition of abuse: ‘to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way’ or ‘to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about’. i’m pretty sure snape did both of these things-

“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!”

“So,” said Snape, gripping Harry’s arm so tightly Harry’s hand was starting to feel numb.

Snape threw Harry from him with all his might.

[hermione’s teeth]  "I see no difference."

‘Idiot boy!’ snarled Snape [at neville]

-on multiple occasions. i’d also like to remind you guys that neville’s worst fear is SNAPE?! his TEACHER, a figure that is supposed to be there for emotional and educational support is his worst fear in this entire world?! above the woman who drove his parents to insanity? over failure, over his abusive grandmother, over everything? his teacher? and for the pro-snaper that used this quote-

Nearly everyone laughed. Even Neville grinned apologetically.

-to claim that it was a joke, it isn’t a joke. because when snape came out of that cupboard, he was terrified. yes, it’s an embarrassing thing to have as your boggart, but the point is is that it is. he is terrified of that man. 

4. james only joined the order because his wife was a muggleborn and he ‘had to’

this is just factually incorrect. james had been sticking up for muggleborn rights since he was in school, far before he started dating or even became friends with lily: 

“Apologize to Evans!” James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him.

“I’d NEVER call you a - you-know-what!”

so this is literally not true!! plus, at least he did join the order, whatever his reasons where (which were canonically good). snape didnt join the order. snape was friends with someone who suffered discrimination in society, and instead of using his privilege to help her and support her, he joined a group that was set on murdering people like her. when james had a friend who underwent oppression (remus/lycanthropy) you know what he did? he illegally became an animagus. 

5. snape had to be a death eater to survive at hogwarts as he roomed with blood supremacists

this is the shittiest excuse i have ever seen in my entire life. as a poc, this comment really reminds me of the argument ‘i was raised in a racist white household! i cant control my beliefs!’

you can always control your beliefs. i understand not going on big rants about blood inequality in front of a bunch of supremacists, and i understand wanting to blend and fit in (especially because he was unpopular and needed the support the slytherin boys provided), but i will never understand then becoming an active member of the group yourself. he got the dark mark. he helped voldemort. he was a death eater, and a proud one at that! no-one forced him to join. this argument literally makes my blood boil. 

6. snape had a lot of trauma from being raised in an abusive household

okay? so did sirius. so did neville. luna was bullied at school, just like snape. harry lived in an abusive household. did any of those people bully children? did any of those people join a blood supremacist group? and dont get me wrong, im not calling any of these people perfect - they all had a lot of flaws - but none of them hurt another people to the extreme that snape did. 

7. snape saved the trio’s lives many times

this is the absolute bare minimum. ‘oh wow, he didnt let harry die!! what a king! he should be respected and praised! we should excuse all of his other actions because he didnt let people die <3′ 

8. snape is not a perfect person, he also did good that many people overlook

you’re right, snape did do some good things in his life. but unfortunately, for me and many others, doing a couple of good things doesnt excuse all of the shitty, abusive things he did too. we’re not ignoring them - we just dont think they’re good enough reasons to forgive him. 

‘but james and sirius hurt others! you ignore all the bad things they did in favour of the good!’ you do the same thing with snape, first of all. second, they did a lot of good stuff. james’ and sirius’ only crimes were being annoying. for being a bit of a dick, conceited, knew they were hot and were a bit entitled. while these things are annoying as fuck, they were also stupid teens that eventually grew out of their behaviour and became better people. not perfect! better. while snape just stayed bitter at the marauders, long after their deaths, and even took his anger out on an innocent child. 

9. people only hate snape because he was poc and queer coded

as a poc and queer person, please stop. this is a very bad excuse. being poc and queer (which im pretty sure he isnt, but anyway) doesnt excuse you from your actions. plus, a huge amount of harry potter readers are poc and lgbtq. why would they hate snape for those reasons?! 

so thats all i got for today. im not gonna go into a deep snily/jily thing because i literally cannot be bothered. anyway im done. i need to go revise, i’ve already spent long enough on this. 

[elizabethrobertajones]

Hello there. I have a question (more like a thesis): What would have happened if Cas told the Truth anywhere between season 7 and 15? Do you think it would have had the same impact on Dean? Logically speaking Cas could have told him anytime.

Oh gosh, yes. I mean Dean’s reaction in season 15 is still the best it could have been really :P He was in the best place and most accepting of himself and he still had a BSOD for a moment and then Cas had to shove him away so he could go die... (Assuming you take the on screen boring presentation of what happened as canon and not throw in the reciprocation, tears, pull in for a kiss, etc that we know exists either in our hearts or on Jackles’ phone.)

I’ve been thinking about this and the parameters we’d have to apply if we were gonna get something like the show being self-healing back to its self as we know it but we were allowed a confession. Also the show has to be as punishing as ever. So these are my personal theses on each season... 

Season 7 the confession would have to be after Cas comes back, and everything in 7x17 that looked like Dean was jealous of Daphne and Meg textually was meant to be read that way in the set up for the confession. To make it the most painful obviously we still get Cas exactly as he was all through to the end of the season and he never really says anything too different but then right when they’re having the “cursed or not” discussion he’d bust out of nowhere that he supposes it is inevitable Dean would talk him into going on this dangerous mission to get Dick because obviously Cas loves him. And Dean, who is in a weirdly zen sort of place in the remaining minutes of season 7 after Bobby’s send off and final words that helped him go make up with Cas, is in a similarly season 15 oddly okay spot, mental health wise. At least. COMPARED TO ALL THE REST OF SEASON 7. But I still personally have always read it as a genuinely good place for him that could have endured much longer if not for *gestures everything that happened after stabbing Dick* and obviously making up with Cas was step one and a huge part of his process. 

(idk if you’ve noticed but 7x23 pretty much has no Sam and Dean interaction after Bobby’s send off, and their last good broments are really scarce; it feels sort of natural for abrupt calamity and no time for teary farewells in a season with a strong commentary on grief, which also hyperfocuses the attention on Dean n Cas there.)

So I think Dean would maybe be stunned but maybe quirk a sceptical smile like “He can’t mean it like that and anyway he’s currently coo-coo, this doesn’t mean anything hahaha oh Cas :)))” and then idk shake his head and move the story on and Cas just turns one longing look after him like “dammit that didn’t work out like planned” 

Anyway then the exact plot beats of 7x23 follow, exactly as seen on your screens, but we’re left going into season 8 and Carver era with Dean far far more messed up about Cas and it can force clarification in 8x02 in Purgatory where Cas is entirely adamant he meant what he meant and furious at Dean for being mad at him and Dean’s mad at Cas for all the season 8 reasons so they continue angsting at each other but Benny’s reaction shots are just 10x funnier. This is followed by Dean’s reciprocation of “I love you” instead of “I need you” in the crypt scene in 8x17 and from there honestly it’s been built up into canon in such a way that the emotional arc of the show has to go off the wheels and I can’t keep to the self-healing model to continue following the “real” plot and contain this much raw power.

Coincidentally, if the first confession is in season 8, it would be “what broke the connection” after a season 8 where nothing was different up until that point. Cas flaps off while Dean is still processing that the answer was “You. I love you.” and Dean is left yelling at the empty crypt like “What the hell, Cas?!” 

Then he’s as mad at him as he was in canon except instead of being borderline a really bad overreaction into his anger phase which we have to weather as miserable fans tethered to this ship who know sometimes Dean gets mad and yells at Cas for no reason, he’s reacting proportionately. It’s always seemed like 8x22 only makes sense if Dean is furious at Cas for confessing and fleeing except, obviously, in our “”real”” canon, it can only be like Cas confessed and Dean took it that way and also felt embarrassed how far he went with his own feelings only for Cas to run. 

This would make the bar scene with the cupids in 8x23 make a lot more sense too, and after they get the cupid bow Dean’s going to turn to Cas and give him a nervous smile, and then - Naomi flaps in like she does and distracts them away from reciprocation. 

I think this one could go long - maybe even season 13 Cas being dead and Dean being like “FUCK I never got a chance to work things out with him” and 13x06 onwards is where we get any actual work on the ship, because Carver era was so determined to be emotionally gruelling and unsatisfying and relentless from one issue to the next. And the confessions are so bound up specifically in the moments of miscommunication or failed attempts, cut off conversations etc that whether Destiel is canon or not, they’re never gonna get to talk it out under those conditions. Cas is only explicitly the grieving wife and jealous ex to Crowley’s smug take over of Dean’s affections rather than subtextually. 

The season 9 confession... I feel like we’d come perilously close to the Monkey Paw curse we once envisioned of Buckleming making it canon because they love jumping the gun on plot points and making them too obvious. So the end of 9x03, Cas is really blatantly angling to come in with a big “Hey I’m human can I live in the Bunker look at me I learned to do The Sex can we do it now” kind of vibe. All the enthusiasm he was giving to eating that burrito in the background while “Zeke” was trying to get him kicked out, but with lusting over Dean :P 

If we avoid that we can leap to Mr Bobo Berens and his first episode, and have this thing handled by a pro, as it’s already very much about Cas as a homeless queer man with a bad ex he still loves rolling into town where he’s just trying to make a new life and play straight - I mean human - for his own survival. I suspect the confrontation with Iphraim would make it really obvious that Cas didn’t just want to live as a human but had an eye for living as a human with Dean, and then he’d attempt a confession right before Dean would accidentally talk over, like, the L in “love” honestly, to tell him that sorry things do still stand that you can’t come back with me. Leaves Cas utterly devastated but Dean is none the wiser and he drives off and Cas pines piningly at the pine trees in his Gas n Sip. 

Again the end of season probably would force the real confession, since there’s a ready made moment in 9x22 where Hannah tries to force Cas to kill Dean and he gives it all up for one man. Cas can just lower that knife and be like, “No, I love him,” talking to his shoes and Hannah rather than meeting Dean’s eyes. Mark of Cain Dean is fuuuucked up at that point but we still get the moment where Dean carries Cas’s bag into the bunker and sits down with him and tries to care about his health and now also this confession. Sussing out what the heck is up with Cas, and maybe he looks like he’s playing it cool and is still so messed up but Cas is vulnerable, and finally Dean starts to reach across the library table for his hand, and it’s a moment where maybe things could have started to go better for them...... Cue Gadreel walking into the library, Dean going feral, blah blah demon!Dean, blah blah explicitly stated Drowley, blah blah muuuch healing and Cas giving Dean a wide berth for a lil while. Though, in this scenario, 10x22 is far worse but has the reverse crypt scene moment, so Dean can be more obviously unable to kill Cas because he loves him, and then he walks out, followed by season 11 and Cas being returned to them. Unfortunately. Yep. Another finger curls on the Monkey Paw... 11x03 by Buckleming would absolutely be where Destiel goes undeniably canon as it is their first real interactions post Mark of Cain. Our only consolation - directed by Jensen Ackles.

Season 10 confession, hm. Poor Cas. He has the option of 10x03, of confessing and then immediately apologising and walking off to handle stuff with Hannah (thanks Buckleming!) or the Burger Date, where Dean may be slightly less stunned stupid but still likely to laugh it off and not believe it. There’s not much heavy tension between them most of the season so it’s possible that the only time Cas would really get is to confess in 10x22 while telling Dean that he would have to watch him murder the world, and that would suck because I love you. At which point the story dictates that Dean beats Cas to paste so it’s a very bad look. Season 10 destiel confession is the worst. 

Season 11 may be better because Cas has options to be jealous of Crowley and Dean’s connection to Amara multiple times and then Casifer happens and that can really play up things in a season where a confession is coming. 

I think the Beer Run in 11x23 might be the only viable place, where Dean grabs Cas and takes him out for that drive for last drinks before the end of the world. Cas gets the “you’re our brother” thing and just lays into Dean with the certainty of someone who knows this is it - now or nothing - with “You know that’s crap, Dean. You wait until the end of the world and you can’t even say it. Well I can; I love you.” 

Cue awkward tension, well-placed interrupting Moose, and then the world very much not ending so that when Dean n Cas hug and kiss in front of Mary in 12x01. Well. There’s even more explaining to do to her. Since we’ve made it to Dabb era, I believe any confessions from this point onwards can just slot into the show as we got it from there since it’s entirely compatible to start season 12 assuming Dean n Cas are literally married and never be contradicted by the text in their behaviour. But since we’ve had canon Destiel since whenever, obviously the final episodes are good instead of. That.

Season 12... Going to have to go with the first sniff of true canon coming in Lily Sunder with just a few lines leaning even further in the Cas’s Angel Family Are Homophobic Assholes metaphor, leaving Cas’s relationship with Dean even more live wire exposed. Followed by The Mixtape Scene where Cas is going to confess to Dean and get him startled up out of his seat, accidentally knocking the mixtape to the floor and for a moment it’s like, did he throw it is he mad? but then he’s smooching Cas, fade to black, return to scheduled programming but the whole line about Cas stealing the Colt from under Dean’s pillow makes fuckin sense, as well as the fall out argument and how mad Dean was at Cas followed by how devastated he was at Cas’s death. This just means Dabb era continues as planned except we get a kiss in 13x06 under that big glowy cross, and some more smooching here and there when things are good from then on. 

Season 13... Hm. Cas has to do the confessing and I don’t think he’d throw that at Dean on return from death so unlike if Dean was the one who was being made to confess obviously the aforementioned glowy cross scene obviously would be it for him... Cas could keep that bottled up much longer, especially as he has so much to do with Jack this season. It’s entirely possible we go through the whole season and then Cas lobs it at Dean as a final card when he’s making his Michael decision and we actually see the scene that we didn’t get, where Cas has to watch Dean getting possessed. Except Dean is like, tearful and furious like why would you tell me that now, and anyway i’m doing this for you as well dumbass but fuck you but also how dare you anyway I need to be an archangel now and save our - your - son, bye. Cue Cas sitting there not just in total horror at what happened but also kicking himself for fucking up the moment :P I guess this way at least we can have that moment where Dean is un-Michaeled and tells Cas he’s going to shower and finger guns at him, and now we can have Cas wordlessly and furiously follow him. 

Season 14, we get Cas at Rocky’s bar confessing to Dean while figment!Pamela cheers the whole thing on. If there was EVER a time to use the power of love to snap Dean out of it, Cas upsetting his cosy routine with “this isn’t real, I’M NOT HERE IN YOUR FANTASY” is absolutely the time to pull a reverse crypt scene which has such low stakes in terms of neither of them needing to punch each other when Michael is an external aggressor.

My ONLY issue with this is that Sam has to witness the whole thing and we would get reaction shots and I am a weak mortal who will start cackling at them when I’m supposed to be having the transcendent moment of canon and the whole thing would be ruined just because of the way Jared gurns when doing reactions to dean n cas interacting. Wow thanks. Thanks a lot. 

[snowydaffodils]

Flustered

3501 words | 2nd Person POV

A Yoon Jeonghan fluff, prompt, how you met, how you (hinted) eventually dated, where you're an actress and he's the other lead actor. Enjoy your new years! 🎉

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Yoon Jeonghan is very rarely flustered. If anything, he's usually the cause of all the flustering - twelve boys can back you up on that. He'd make fun of your height, poke your cheeks, comment cutesy compliments as you work together, flirt playfully, and make fun of how stupid your character sounds.

Indeed, you accepted this role fully aware of the awfully pure and slow-witted character the scriptwriter had written down. Throughout your years in acting, even if this was your very first lead role, you had never gone easy on the rest of the roles you had received. You live and understand them, think like them, and every single character you've performed have now become a part of you. But of course, the closest character to you now is this easily distracted girl who just blushes all the time.

So for the course of eight months, you've acted with all your might, and this is the you that Jeonghan knew. You weren't exactly innocent and slow-witted just like the character, but a bit of the character influenced your own personal traits. The fun to tease, cute, and adorably likable girl. Just like you, it was his first lead role in a drama, and the first one in Seventeen to land on one, too, even if he wasn't the first one to be in one. He had curiously accepted a side role before, right after his military release, and just as the group were exploring their own careers whilst waiting to reunite again as a whole. That side role, with the help of his previous acting lessons, drowned him into the world of acting once more, and he fell in love with the art of the screen more than he ever did before.

Your first impression on him during the first cast meeting was that he looked heavenly. It was like his cheekbones were sculpted to perfection and no one could tell you otherwise. You were incredibly starstruck and in awe that you stuttered in making your first introductions. It didn't help that he was smooth with his words, too, making you sound incredibly nervous as opposed to him.

"Hi, I'm Jeonghan from Seventeen, and I'll be taking the lead role in this drama. Please take care of me."

"Hi, I'm play, uh, playing the lead gull, I mean g-girl."

Had he smiled politely and continued the conversation like nothing had happened, maybe you wouldn't have been too embarrassed, but also maybe you wouldn't have let your guards down to know and befriend him personally. Instead, he had laughed at you with all the stomach power he had. He never lets you forget that you stuttered so badly as you introduced yourself for the first time the entire day. He even made his own reasons (you wouldn't admit them, but they couldn't have been more true) as to why you stuttered.

"Nervous? I'm super charming, aren't I?" his ego is surely out of bounds as he said that, a smirk donning his lips. "I know, I'm surprised at myself, too sometimes."

You hit him on the arm, your cheeks growing in color. "I'm a big fan of Seventeen, but I didn't realize that you're this cheeky."

He laughed, so genuinely and purely, and you smiled, already warmed up to him. He made friends with you quickly, and from all the behind the scenes footage, he was quick to melt his awkward-i-just-met-you exterior and interacted with you as he would with his members. Jeonghan was this tall, built, and handsome man, and he owned unreal facial features that made everyone wonder if he was indeed human just like everyone else. He was perfect for his role: the cold, sly, and dominating lead in the series. It was the complete opposite of your character, and with his friendliness, it was easy for you to quickly build up chemistry and work well with him, but as you two get closer, the more playful he became.

"You're the love of my life," he recited his lines, cheesy as it is, to which you became shy to and shrank as he got closer and closed his lips to yours.

He was quick to tease your blushes after the director's "Cut!" in each kissing scene, and would tease you easily at other romantic or heart fluttering scenes you had to do.

"Aww, that's cute, you're blushing again! I can hear your heart fluttering," he would say. "Then again, I am charming."

And in each time, you were always caught in his trap, stuck in the moment, and your heart follows his lead, ignoring all the other self-restraining signals your head was screaming about. He'd laugh right after he got a reaction out of you, and the grin he'd give you would linger in your head for the rest of the day.

There was another day when one of his members - Joshua - came to support as a cameo, and it felt like Jeonghan was on booster or something. He introduced you to Joshua, who was sweet, polite, and a perfect gentleman, but then Jeonghan continued to tease you the entire day Joshua was there. He made sure to remind Joshua how cute you were so many times throughout the day. At that point you were actually getting used to Jeonghan's antics, but him teasing you in front of a new person puts you on another level of flustered.

"Hey Josh, meet the love of my life," Jeonghan said, using his scripted lines.

Joshua, while he was nicer than Jeonghan, still played along sometimes. "Then I'll call you member-in-law!" He said.

Your birthday was on a filming day, and he managed to fool you to think that you had hurt his feelings by giving him comments on his acting as per usual (you were sure you weren't saying anything bad, but he kept directing it to be a negative one). He started showing acts of distaste and, at one point, even yelled at you and left the room.

It was heart-wrenching to watch him leave - you never wanted to hurt his feelings, you just wanted to help and support him and the drama entirely. Guilt washed over you quickly, and tears piled in your eyes. The crew was looking at you so judgmentally, and all you wanted to do was go home, lock the doors, and hide under your covers. You didn't know what to do, and some of the crew even went to you to convince you that he just needed to blow off steam and he'll be back and you can apologize when he gets back.

You wanted to scream and rip his hair off when he came back with a cake, singing Happy Birthday like nothing happened. Your tears flowed like a river though, because you genuinely thought that Yoon Jeonghan, this man, was actually angry at you to the point that he put it to display to everyone who was present and even yelled at you.

"Don't cry!" he laughed at you, taking the cream from the cake and swiping your cheeks with his finger. "You'll look ugly. We have to take a picture with this cake!"

You cursed at him for the first time since you've known him, but he only chuckled and patted your back to calm down your sniffles (you glared at his finger until he wiped the cream away first, though). He gave you a friendly hug and you hit him to prove the point that you were upset, and it was a loud slap in the back that everyone was surprised but laughed at. Apparently, a behind-the-scenes camera was on and recording the entire surprise; Jeonghan remembered this and went to the camera to tell on you. He complained really loudly, "Carats, she hit me!" he pointed at you playfully.

You were still sniffling, snots everywhere and you eyes still bawling with tears. "Y-you deserve it!" you screamed.

On the last day of filming, you had laughed everything off, remembering everything that happened during the course of filming and engraving every memory to your heart. It was surely an indescribable experience. The crew had been super nice, and they felt like a second family to you. The cast members became your best friends, including the one and only Yoon Jeonghan. You thanked Jeonghan, the rest of the cast, and the entire crew for all their hard work, hugged your co-stars tightly, and told Jeonghan to stay in contact with you even after it all ended because you'd miss him.

"Hey, but don't be a stranger," you told him. "I think I'm too used to having you around, its gonna be hard to live peacefully, now."

He smiled, pinched your cheeks and said, "Did you think I'm gonna stop just because the drama ended? You should've seen me annoy my members even from the military base."

You rolled your eyes at him, "I wouldn't dare to assume you'd do anything less."

And he kept to his word. Though there hadn't been any opportunities for both of you to meet each other again (variety shows and interview promotions were done during the course of filming), he still contacts you day-to-day, even if only to send a meme he found of you and laugh at you through text.

"You really DO look like you've got a frog in your mouth! Hahahaha!"

This went on through the rest of the year until the Award Shows started to busy every single celebrity available, finally announcing the invites, MCs, performances, and nominees to each award they have. Your drama with Jeonghan had hit it big as fans were so happy to watch both of you interact (also, maybe because Woozi sang the main OST, and Scoups' rap on the OST was fire), and you were invited to almost every single one of them as a nominee for multiple awards.

It was first assumed, then implied, but it was also because he was actually sweet enough to ask you personally, that you were officially his date to every one of the award shows your drama was nominated in. You agreed, not because he was your co-star, but because he was a genuinely nice and fun person to spend time with. You were also very excited, not just because you were nominated, but also because this time you were going to finally present your original and true self to Yoon Jeonghan and the world. The other characters within you screamed in delight as you excitement rose, and you had planned everything out, determined to show that you are not just a simple easily teased girl that Yoon Jeonghan bullies on.

On the very first show you wore a white gown - the top part was gold glitter with a heart neckline, and it corseted your figure, highlighting all the important curves in your body. Down your dress, the fabric flowed in an A-line skirt, transparency growing in a gradient as it reached the bottom, your strapped golden heels visible within your skirt. You put your half your hair into a braid and curled the rest. With curtain-like gold earrings and white diamonds shining out of the strands, Jeonghan was stunned when he saw you for the first time. Your make up was different from what he was used to, and a mature-like pureness aura radiates from you. He didn't know what to say, muted to say the least. He had never seen you like that, and once both of you reached the red carpet, his hand on your back as a gentlemanly support to guide you through the reporters, he noticed how straight you walked, and how you carried yourself so gracefully. The reporters were asking questions, but he left the answering to you as he continued to stay stunned through the red carpet. It was only when you both had finally taken your seats when he finally relaxed and converse normally again.

The minimum movements you emitted, just enough to be polite and to please your audience were not missed by the man, and he observed the details of your interactions to the utmost adoration. Your gracefulness had struck a chord in his heart and he was awed to say the least.

He ended the night with a shy smile and an "Oh, and by the way, you were absolutely beautiful tonight." The sincerity of his tone didn't go unnoticed and you didn't forget to thank him before going separate ways. It was oddly out of character of him to do, but you liked the new side of him you have yet to explore.

The next show, you opted for a bright red designer's gown. This one, fitting to its price tag, created this absolutely stunning silhouette, and while it did not sparkle or glitter, its muted red still create a distinction of you and made you shine. The designed folds in your dress accented your figure even more, and with a looser fabric, the skirt of your dress was made longer so it could trail behind you as you walk. Your hair was gathered up into one straight ponytail, a pretty simple hairdo to gather attention to your striking gown for the night.

Jeonghan didn't recognize you when he first was led to your changing room. You didn't just look like a different person, you feel like one, too. He didn't even realize that he held his breath as he looked at you. The stylist were so proud of their efforts and Jeonghan's reaction had them giggling and teasing him. "She's incredibly beautiful, isn't she?"

He barely managed a "yes" before you could chuckle and said to him, "Well look who's being shy, now."

At this, he returned a laughter of his own. He didn't bother hiding his surprised expression. "You got me. You look incredible."

Your outfit and style of the day, added with your elegance and poise as you conducted yourself in front of the reporters and other celebrities had Jeonghan staring at you for a while, and quite numerous whiles. He absolutely adored you. There was a surging feeling of wholesome pride as he stood beside you, his hand on your back as he escorted you through the venue. Even as he teased you as he answered the reporters' questions, you had retained your poise as you held it within yourself not to be flustered easily by this man. You had a year worth of practice for that.

"Isn't she beautiful? I'm such a fan of hers," Jeonghan whispered to the reporters, his playful grins and chuckles evident as he interacted happily. "She doesn't look like her character now, does she?"

You chuckled along with him, but dragged him to stop him from acting like a fan on the red carpet. He laughed and after a few tries of refusing your urges to move on, eventually let it go and allowed you to pull him forwards. As you moved on, he placed his hand on your back just like how he usually does, as a sign that he was right there walking with you.

The third time though, Jeonghan was speechless. He barely spoke through the course of the night, and his eyes never left you.

You wore a black designer's gown this time, with sequinned patterned Qs coming from your neck down to your knees before the skirt spreads out to hide your silver heels. It was a mermaid gown and it hugged your figure nicely. The skirt was actually more flowy that you thought, but it added a nice touch. You wore silver earrings and diamond hair pieces as you put your hair up in the most elegant updo Jeonghan had ever seen. He was already stunned when he saw you for the first time, but he almost choked when you turned around only for him to realize that your gown was completely backless.

Now, where is he supposed to place his hand again?

His face was flushed and when you turned to finally go out the door, you see his face filled with more red than you've ever seen. While his face was kind of salvaged by the foundation he used, the makeup couldn't help his neck from turning red as well.

"Yoon Jeonghan, are you sick?" you asked aloud, gaining the attention of all staff members present, all their eyes pointed at the man in question. "Or are you actually blushing?"

Your second question snapped him out of his haze (and had many of the stylists and make up artists giggling) as he looked at you for a few seconds, and you were starting to actually worry, before he eventually puts his hand on his forehead, covering his face.

"God, you'll be the death of me. Let's go before I embarrass myself any further."

He was indeed blushing, and his statement confirmed that for you. You laughed, but you can't help but feel you cheeks tinting a little pink from his confession. He linked your arm with his and went out together.

The first few minutes into the red carpet, Jeonghan did his best not to have direct contact with your back. He was blushing the entire time, had to ask the interviewers to repeat themselves a couple of times, and his hand was going to unsure places like your shoulder or your waist, which he was also not confident about, and eventually just lingers a few inches away from your back, like in mid-air. The so-called manner hands.

It wasn't as reassuring as having his hand on your back like the previous times you both had gone through this. His focus was also off as he tried to avoid the contact, and just moved his hand when you moved as well. You sighed and just pulled his hand to slightly slap your back, and you pointed a look at Jeonghan's direction, telling him to stop fidgeting through your eyes.

He blushed.

"Jeonghan, are you not feeling well?" one of the reporters asked.

He seemed to click then and there. His honest self couldn't help himself as he answered, "Oh yeah, she just looks gorgeous tonight, I can't take my eyes off of her."

When he finally comprehended his own words, he fumbled and stuttered. "I-I mean," he tried to reason, but the stars in the reporters' eyes were showing that they heard everything he said, and some of them squealed in delight.

"Why, thank you," you turned to face him, your smile directed for him.

He was stunned - again.

"Oh, let's just go," he said shyly, one of his hands reaching to his neck to feel just how warm he had gotten.

That night, both of you had received a daesang award, but Jeonghan kind of added a few more elements to his acceptance speech.

"Hi, this is Seventeen's Jeonghan. This acting experience was truly incredible and there's so many people who should know that they are the reason for this award. I want to thank Carats, who have always been there for me through thick and thin, and my members who have been watching and supporting me, especially to Joshua who became a cameo, my parents and my family members who had been with me from the very start, the staff members, Pledis, directors, pd-nim, and all the crew members. This is not possible without any of you. And special thanks to," Jeonghan moved his eyes on you, and he didn't know why then and there, your name disappeared from his head and instead replaced with that one line that had caught all the viewers' heart as they watched the drama.

"The love of my life - " he stopped when he realized what he just said, and realized he had kind of just confessed on national TV. "I mean, M-my co-star."

You stood there surprised at how flustered Yoon Jeonghan could be, and stunned that you were the main reason that he was fumbling on the stage and his ears redder than ever. He caught himself before he did anything else and finished his speech nicely.

"Anyways, uh, thank you for this award, I'll work even harder to be a better actor and come back with more for you all. Thankyou!"

It was your turn after him to deliver your speech, and suddenly the trophy on your hands became heavier than it actually was. Jeonghan turned his back to walk back to the spot beside you as you move forward, and you can see a small smile tugging the corners of his lips. When you were brushing against each other before you took the mic, he whispered, just loud for you to hear, and short enough to go unnoticed.

"Yes, that was my confession to you. Will you go out with me?"

All eyes were on you and all lights were on you when you felt like you bit your tongue and couldn't speak.

The MCs were waiting for your speech, and nudged you to start when you seem lost.

"Ah, yes, I mean, no, I mean yes!"

Yoon Jeonghan really knows how to fluster you, even in his most flustering moments.

---

[tillthelandslide]

Made to Love

Author's Note: Hello to all of you beautiful and wonderful people. I hope your day is going well. After having a whole day of writer's block, I listened to Made to Love by John Legend and this wonderful idea came into my head so I wrote it down. I hope you liked this and I'm thinking maybe I could do a part 2 if you guys like it?

This is set in a utopian world, not ours just so you know.

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Growing up you were taught the laws of the world you lived in. You were taught that every person around you had different morals and different beliefs. But one thing everyone agreed on was the existence of soul mates, two people linked by destiny, made for each other, two people bound my fate to be together until death do they part. You were taught that you could tell who your soulmate is purely but the feeling you got. You were told that your soul mates aura would match yours and the closer you were to each other the deeper you would feel, the more intense your feelings would be, as if amplified by the other person. You were also taught that as you grew up you would get visions of your soul mate. You wouldn't see what they looked like or where they lived but would see visions of what they were like, what they did in their spare time. You knew yours was an actor (although how famous you didn't know), you knew he enjoyed video games just as much as you did, he grew up reading fantasy books just like you, you could feel that family was important to him, he had brothers but you weren't sure how many. You could also feel each other's emotions when you were apart, a constant reminder from destiny that you had to find each other to live in peace, to live in paradise with each other. The piece of information that made it difficult in finding him was that he was an actor, he was always travelling and was always filming. This made finding him difficult because you were a singer, a famous one at that, you were constantly on the road, never in the same place for more than a couple of days at a time.

But you were currently on a break from your life on the road, you had told your fans that you were going to take a hiatus and lots of them encouraged you to find your soul mate, because they wanted you to be happy.

One of the fundamental laws of soul mates was the push and pull dynamic, the more someone would push their soulmate away. the more they would find themselves needing that person. There were people who ignored these laws, and lived their lives running from destiny. Soulmates who were yet to find each other were allowed to carry out temporary relationships with non-soul mate individuals, named "betas" but were forbidden to marry them or reproduce with them. Again there were those who hated these laws, those who married non-soulmates to spite destiny.

As for you, you had a few relationships with betas, but they never satisfied that of your deepest desire. It was fun getting to know betas and you found yourself loving them, but not in the way that soulmates would love each other. Eventually the relationship between betas would come to an end when the other found their soulmate. But you were yet to find yours so all of your beta relationships had ended because they had been successful in carrying out the law.

So here you were, alone in your house in London, what was the point of a break if I can't even find my soulmate? you thought. You were beginning to lose hope, maybe you had done something to spite destiny and this was its way of punishing you.

You had begun to feel ill, your mother bringing you some soup in hopes you would feel better. Your mother was one of few individuals, who destiny had granted multiple soul mates, this only happened to people whose original soul mate had passed, destiny would grant them another if they had successfully carried out the law of soul mates in all its glory. And your mother had, she had found her soulmate when she was 21 and had gotten married soon after, having 4 beautiful children (you included) before sadly her soul mate (your father) and passed. Destiny had decided that she carried out the law so well that she deserved another one.

To say it irked you was an understatement, you were happy for her, sure, but there she was having had 2 soul mates and you were yet to find yours.

"He's on he's way dear" she said, as she was leaving your home.

"I don't know ma" you frowned, rubbing your forehead I wish this throbbing in my head would stop for christ sake you thought.

"He is, my love. Now rest and get better, I have to meet Derek for lunch" she said referring to your step farther.

"Have a lovely day ma" you said, making her smile and leave you.

Your head throbbed again, making you have to close your eyes as you felt like you were going to faint.

"What in the world?" you said, your hand coming up to rest against the wall to stop yourself from falling.

Sit down love you heard his voice in your head say. Oh yeah, another side effect of not finding your soulmate was having this kind of connection with them, they could communicate with you, through your mind. It sounds ridiculous but it's true, it takes practice to successfully send a message to your soul mate, apparently it becomes painstakingly easy when you've actually met them.

"You're not helping me" you chuckled out, crashing on your sofa.

You need to rest, your making me feel nauseous his voice said again

"Oh thanks love. Sorry to be such a pain" you said, sarcastically.

Sorry love you heard him chuckle

"It would be a lot easier if you were here dickhead" you laughed, joking with him, your eyes still shut. An image flashed in your mind... A lot of green, that's all you could see for miles.

"What are you doing?" you laughed, talking about the vision you got.

Walking Kal

"all I can see is green, like for miles?" you asked, and you heard him chuckle. He didn't say anything else and you sighed, resting your head against your sofa.

Wish I could help you. He sounded sad and he felt sad too, you could physically feel him frowning, but you knew it felt worse for him, that's how it worked. You were feeling dizzy, which meant he was feeling it a little too.

"Would be so much easier if I knew where you were." you said, your cat jumping up to sit on you.

Y'know how it works love, can't tell you that

He was right, another stupid rule was that if one soulmate attempted to send a message containing information about where they were or where they lived, the information would be corrupted, all the other would hear is muffled speech.

"I'll leave you to it then my love" you said quietly.

Okay love, rest well. Get someone to come round and look after you

"I'll try." you said. You managed to open your eyes, the world spinning a lot less now, the same throbbing in your head like someone was constantly playing a drum in there. You picked up your phone texting your best friend.

"Hey. Not well. Please come save me 😂" you typed, short sentences will have to do you thought.

"coming" was all you received back. Your friend arrived 10 minutes later, as she lived close by. She let herself in calling your name, to which you just groaned.

"Oh c'mon you big baby, it can't be that bad" she said upon seeing you.

"That's easy for you to say. You don't have what feels like someone kicking your head in every 2 seconds" you said, groaning when she tried pulling you up from your seat.

"We're going for a walk, the fresh air will do you good." she said, forcing your shoes on your feet.

"Really? I'm not well" you pouted.

"C'mon you need air" she said, pulling you up and to the door.

You began walking, every few steps you had to stop and shut your eyes, your vision became blurry and your head pounded and pounded with every step. You could see green again, a park?

"Hey it's okay, I've got you I'm here, Cmon sit down" she said, leading you to a bench.

Another vision: a bench?

Another one: two women?

Another one: a dog jumping excitedly

What was that?: An American Akita?

"This isn't working" you groaned loudly, your vision coming back to you, you looked around you, you were in a park, surrounded by green.

"Oh my god" you said, your head pounding, like a drum getting louder. You stood suddenly, your feet hurt but they carried you forward, you didn’t want to be walking but your body had other plans, your legs hurt... Everything hurt.

What's happening? You heard him say

You were falling, falling, your head throbbing more than ever, just as you were about to hit the ground, you felt something soft... Hands? You opened your eyes briefly, two blue eyes, the left had a bit of brown in it

 And then? Nothing.

The next thing you know, you were lying on the pavement, your head no longer hurt... That's good you thought. You opened your eyes, seeing the same blue eyes, your heart felt like it exploded, your back shooting up from the ground on its own accord, turning to look at the man.

"Oh my god" you cried, he was here, you found him.

"Told you to rest, love" he said, somehow making a joke out of it, but he had tears in his eyes too. You wrapped your arms around him, him pulling you to his chest.

"It's okay I've got you love, I've got you" he said, hugging you like he was never going to let go.

"You found me" you said, pulling back to look into his eyes.

"I found you alright" he said, nodding as tears fell from his eyes.

"Henry" you said, suddenly knowing his name as if you'd always known it, you knew everything there was to know about him, and he you.

"Y/N" he uttered, his hand grasping your face tightly in his hand, bringing it closer to his so he could finally kiss you. His lips were perfect against yours, it was everything everyone told you it would be, nothing but heightened emotions, destiny and fate.

"I love you so much" he uttered against your lips.

"I love you too" you replied, pulling back from the kiss.

"How's the head?" he said, his fingers rubbing at your temple.

[astermacguffin]

Okay, since my fucked up mind is not content with only one angsty Time Travel Destiel fic, here's a concept for a three-part fic series:

1. Time loop

For context, this is set in a Post-Darkness world where the BMOL plot doesn't happen because I said so. Mary still comes back here tho. (Jack will still happen in this world, but that's for the next parts.)

During a solo case, Dean gets stuck in a time loop. (Turns out that some ruptures in spacetime opened after the Darkness invading Earth and God almost dying.) Sam is more than a day away so they can't meet before the loop starts again, restricting Dean's access to Sam, Mary, and research to phone calls.

Dean prays to Cas and he teleports there, only to realize that it's also a spatially-bound type of magic, so now they're both trapped.

No one else remembers anything after each loop aside from Dean and Cas.

Because Cas artificially intruded the rift, all the loops keep on trying to kill him. So not only do they need to solve the case, but Dean needs to constantly keep Cas from dying.

Feelings are explored along the way. Dean learns the incredulity of keeping his feelings hidden after plenty of alone time with each other (as well as watching multiple iterations of Cas dying).

Only Dean can heal the rift because he started the loop. After their love confessions, they form a plan. Cas possesses Dean (in a very eroticaly charged way) and intermingles his grace with Dean's soul. The power of gay love saves the day and the loop is broken.

2. AU Hopping

The loop is broken and Cas escapes with his memories intact, but Dean slips through the rift instead.

Turns out that mending the rift gave Dean the power to travel thru different realities, but he cannot pick which world he ends up in after each hop and what time he enters it.

He goes through different AUs (except Apocalypse World bc it's stupid). I want to give Dean as many Problems Disorders from this AU hopping, so the worlds he get to visit are worlds that fuck him up.

In one world, they manage to leave hunting behind after Sam establishes a network of hunters, form alliances with friendly supernatural creatures, and make their existence public knowledge. (Dean will remember this world and take insights with him.)

In one world, Jack is born an actual baby and AU Dean and AU Cas raise him together. (It's important to remember that Main Dean has not met Jack yet bc he doesn't exist in his world just yet.)

In one world, Sam is a lawyer married to Jess, John is alive, Dean doesn't go to hell and is still hunting. The apocalypse is prematurely stopped and he never meets Cas. (Dean does not like this world, for reasons he won't explore.)

He continues world-hopping for so many times to the point where he finally lost count. It must have been years already. He still haven't found his way home.

A couple of times, he becomes tempted to just stay in one of the worlds where Cas is available and they can be together. The residual grace inside him protests against this.

The most important world he visits is one where he ends up in a cabin owned by Cas. He examines this Cas closely and then realizes that he's met this Cas before; it's Endverse!Cas.

Dean asks if he's in Endverse, but Cas just shakes his head. Apparently, this Cas is also a dimension-hopper now. Turns out that the rifts appeared all across the multiverse.

Endverse!Cas survived the ambush, reaches Lucifer!Sam, and gets thrown into one of the rifts as some kind of sick mercy kill. He also survives this and then quickly learns his newfound ability. The skill makes him nostalgic of his wings.

Endverse!Cas has been doing this for centuries. When he tells Dean about this, the man is shocked. "Haven't you noticed that you have not even aged a day even a little? Your body has been frozen in time ever since." They're both technically immortal.

Dean stays the longest in this world. He wants to learn as much as possible from the more experienced dimension-hopper, but he also wants to learn more about the man himself. (Oh, and yeah, they totally hook up.)

This Cas knows that there's nothing left for him in Endverse, so he just reveled and enjoyed the traveling. He's been in a relationship with more Deans than he could ever count (and some with the visited world's Cas as well).

The cabin they're currently staying in was owned by that world's Dean, who just died a year ago. Cas has done his grieving and he can leave anytime soon, but he has spent the longest time with this Dean in particular, so he can't bring himself to leave just yet.

A part of him wants to stay in this Dean-less world, because after centuries of doing this, he has given up on ever finding the One True Dean that would fill whatever gap is within him. He has resigned himself to staying here for as long as possible.

At one point, Endverse!Cas asks Dean to stay with him in this world. Or if he doesn't want to stay, they can dimension-hop together for all eternity. Dean declines, saying that he has someone waiting for him.

Endverse!Cas examines him with an unreadable look, as if he can see the grace swirling inside Dean (perhaps he can), and gives a loose smile. "Well, good luck with that. I hope it doesn't take you centuries."

Dean calls him out for the unnecessary rudeness, but he seems unfazed. Cas tells him to enjoy his few precious years with his loved ones when (not if) he eventually returns. "Oh, and when you're done with that world," Cas hesitantly utters, "just look for me, okay? You know how to call me."

Dean starts traveling again, unsure if he made the worst or best decision ever.

3. Time skip

Dean hops a few more times, but eventually he enters a world and he suddenly KNOWS. The grace inside him sings in joy for finally being in the same world as its owner. He's finally home.

He arrives at his own world, but at the wrong time. He's already 15 years too late.

Sam is married to Eileen and they have a child now. Mary has a girlfriend. Cas is now a father and Jack is grown. (Yes, Jack still happens here but Lucifer is immediately dealt with and we never see him again. Good riddance. ❤️ The Chuck plot doesn't happen here as well bc Jack deserves a semi-normal life and not be burdened by godhood.)

Sam being physically older than Dean will definitely give him more Problems Disorders. Seeing Jack all grown will also fuck with his head. ("How long was I gone, Cas?" "Too damn long.") I think Mary having a girlfriend is the least shocking news for him.

It it important to remember that this Cas is the one who escaped the loop. He REMEMBERS what happened. He knows that his feelings for Dean is reciprocated and he waited all these years for him to come back. This would also fuck with Dean even more. "I missed so much of your lives. Why even wait for me?" "Why wouldn't I?"

Dean helps Sam strengthen the network he's established with other hunters using everything he learned from dimension hopping.

The big question of this third fic is: Will Dean risk hopping again? There will be multiple times where Dean thinks: maybe if I try hard enough, I'll land on this world on the right time as well. (He definitely got better at hopping after his stay with Endverse!Cas, but there's still a risk that he'll never get back to this world. The multiverse is vast, after all.)

Dean decides to stay at the end. Yes, he missed a lot, but now he's gonna make up for lost time. And hey, now that he's an immortal spacetime traveler with an angel husband and a nephilim son, he can spend the rest of eternity with them happy.

Is it obvious that I'm very obsessed with time-related tropes? I wrote this in one sitting last night bc this has been marinating in my head for a long time.

[arkt-nehrim-archive]

Hey! Are you willing to answer lore questions about Nehrim? Specifically Narathzul... the timeline for his imprisonment doesn’t seem to be right.

Do you know how long he was imprisoned for? Because somewhere before then, he had to imprison his dad... and Baratheon took over presumably right after. Beats me how Tealor survived like that for however many years Narathzul had him there.

Always, and thank you for asking!  =D  This is a tricky one, but I’ll do my best. At the end of the day, I can only speculate. I’ll divide it into two parts, one for Tealor and one for Narathzul.

[ Spoilers for both Nehrim and Enderal below. ]

Starting with Tealor! He didn’t survive imprisonment. The Tealor Arantheal you engage with in Enderal is not the real one, he is the Emissary; the personification of what he failed to do/wished to be, as any Emissary is, you kinda have to die for one to be created. Yes, they -say- he’s alive and nobody can really discount that fact because I mean, he’s there, living and breathing in front of people, vouching for himself, and as we all know, it’s -really- hard to argue with that man! Plus, our Enderal PC wouldn’t really have any reason to be able to call him out, they don’t have the knowledge the player might about Nehrim’s story beats.

Now, the timelines between the games are obviously wildly different, but whether it was 30 years or 1,000 for Tealor, he -died-. He would’ve had to.  Narathzul doesn’t mention his father when he tells you what he did to the paladin’s spirits, so unfortunately we don’t have hard confirmation -from- a Nehrim source, we can only say he’s likely to be dead because of how Emissaries work.

-Strictly- speaking to Nehrim, Tealor is a spirit, or some kind of undead, bound to the Temple, which is why once he realizes you’re not Narathzul, he disappears and all them black skeletons come wreck your shit. Looking back to Enderal, there’s another time something like this happens! Down in the ancient Pyrean city too, when the High Ones be pulling their bullshit, a whole shitton of Lost Ones are raised to hamper your path in that very specific red lighting. I mention -that-, because -Nehrim- Tealor is guarding the Predestination in the Creator’s Temple, even reciting it as you progress through the dungeon, which we know are created by the Eliath (who may or may not also be High Ones, I can make a whole other post about that).   He could’ve just teleported away of course, but there’s no casting animation for that, he just despawns and then the lighting goes red and the skeletons show up. Details are important.

I can’t give a clear answer, but for the sake of trying to link the two game’s lore on the subject, -I- personally believe that Narathzul killed his father, but unlike the other Paladins, didn’t bind him there.  That would come later, from the High Ones. Narathzul slaying him could’ve been a similar catalyst to how the Prophet was killed by the Veiled Woman, only Narathzul couldn’t have known what became of it.  So! The way Tealor “survives” his imprisonment, is being an Emissary-  they’re immortal, they don’t die until their purpose is fulfilled, and given the High Ones are timeless creatures, it stands in my mind to reason they easily could’ve held onto a pawn for decades/centuries to bring about The Cleansing.

Onto Narathzul! 

Due to retcons, it’s a pretty solid cleave between Nehrim and Enderal’s lore deciding how long Narathzul was imprisoned. There is technically a definite answer in the sense Nehrim being strictly canon seems not be the case anymore, so he was imprisoned for 30 years.   A book from Forgotten Stories attempts to clear up the matter about why Nehrim uses 1,000 years and Enderal uses 30,  and frankly, it’s a -mess-.  It suggests that Narathzul simply -lied- to his followers and they spread those lies to fluff up his myth, but I call -bullshit- on that because the whole -point- of Narathzul being special because of his bloodline is dependent on how long he spent down there and didn’t age. I’ve heard it said it’s “not realistic”, but of course it’s not, it’s a thousand fucking years, it’s called -high fantasy-! It’s stupid, fun Tolkien bullshit! Narathzul could’ve put himself through centuries long naps for all we know, it just builds the willpower of the character that he endured for such an -impossible- span of time. Not to mention, the source of the above material -is- the Holy Order, and Enderal spends a lot of its time heavily implying them fools be lying all the time to maintain their power structure, so why trust it as canon anymore than trusting Narathzul? It makes -sense- that an organization in service to the Lightborn would defame and discredit what happened, Narathzul was a rebel, of -course- you make him look as terrible as possible to maintain the status quo.   

In the end, it’s whatever side of canon you subscribe to regarding how long Narathzul was imprisoned. Some prefer Enderal’s, others prefer Nehrim not getting shafted. Personally, I’m of the mind it was 1,000 years. He survived because he’s half Lightborn, he’s theoretically immortal- and that’s not even bringing up the lineage of the Aeterna and how long they can potentially live WITHOUT special snowflake Lightborn power because of the -Seraphim- who live insanely long too (Hi, Arkt, he’s 8,000 at -least-, it’s terrifying) being the progenitors of Aeterna. Narathzul has multiple reasons why he can be as old as he is, and being inherently magic could help his survival in his confinement- not to mention he wasn’t -completely- alone between his jailer Arch-Seraph Arazdor, whoever was giving him provisions (books, chair, candles, etc), a Silver Plate to speak at whoever has the others, and however many people have attempted in the past to free him and not succeeded. ALL things that can be seen through environmental story telling. So when actually thought about, his confinement not driving him completely nuts (outside of just pure willpower) can be believed.

As a small side note,  Barateon being 1,000 is a hard one to swing, but Merzul is also the same age and it could be argued they keep themselves a live by magic.  If you look at Enderal’s take on the Lightborn, it’s doable.

Anyway, I hope that cleared something up!  I know I always get long winded with these things.  <:P 

[orsuliya]

Song Huaien is a good boy!

Book spoilers did me dirty. That’s a fact. Ever since I peeked at the last chapters of the novel, I’ve been convinced that Song Huaien was going to go rogue sooner or later. And so I looked upon him as one does upon a ticking bomb, watching him closely for any signs of rot and obvious mwahahahaing.

And that… might have been wrong of me. It’s not like The Rebel Princess ever treated any character’s novel journey as sacrosanct (see: Su Jin’er, Wanru, even Zitan). So what gives? Well, just look at the ever-precious Liu Duanduan. Wouldn’t you want to steel your heart in advance…?

And then the supremely astute @dangermousie came along and made me reconsider what could be done in the scant remaining number of episodes in order to deliver a satisfying ending. I trust The Rebel Princess, so it will be a satisfying ending, 12 cut episodes notwithstanding, and I’m choosing to ignore any contrary opinions! So what could be done? Well, getting rid of Song Huaien’s rebellion and conflict with Xiao Qi seems to be one of the most viable solutions, whether by design or by leaving it on the cutting-room floor. Okay, I’m sold, I thought at once, jumping without thinking as I’m wont to do. But does the drama itself support that?

Why, yes, I believe it does!

What are the actual visible signs of Song Huaien’s potential villainy? There’s the corruption/negligence thing, a pronounced liking for finer things in life and an unrequited love for Awu. That’s it.

The corruption scandal, if it can even be called such, what with Potato suppressing any further investigation attempts, is the biggest strike against Song Huaien. It’s clear that he’s somehow embroiled into unsavoury dealings, but the extent of his guilt is never shown. While I don’t fully believe his story about the birthday gifts being delivered during his absence and accepted without his express permission and/or knowledge, there is also nothing to suggest he’s been explicitly on Xie payroll, secret documents non-withstanding. The record book alone is no proof of guilt – why, the Xie might have simply noted that gifts of certain value had been given and received, not in exchange for a specific service, but rather as a start of a beautiful relationship. You get the drill. I believe if there was a solid proof of Song Huaien doing explicit harm to his own in exchange for Xie money, Xiao Qi’s reaction would have been much harsher.

As it stands, Song Huaien’s guilt is a matter of conjecture. There’s the birthday gift, which Xiao Qi cottons onto really quickly, which confirms that it may have been noted in the Xie secret books. There’s the fact that he may or may not have known about it and may or may not have chosen to keep it. I’d say he did know, if only after the fact, and that he originally meant to keep it. There’s also the damning fact that Song Huaien was the man taking care of logistics from the Ningshuo side. And he did his job really poorly, since multiple deliveries of substandard grain and clothing somehow made it through. But was it out of maliciousness? Was there ever a conscious decision on his part to let things slip? Not necessarily. It looks bad, sure. But let’s not forget that dealing with the capital sharks may be a first for Song Huaien, regardless of his previous experience as a procurement officer. Whatever his experience, it was either at the very end of the supply chain or it was mainly related to supplies coming from the area closest to Ningshuo. The former wouldn’t have prepared him for his present duties. And as for the latter, I think that the Ningshuo province has its own rules and ways, which are in no way comparable to the shark pond that the capital undoubtedly is. What’s more, Huaien really seems to buy into the illustrious capital life; it would not surprise me if he delegated a few things that should not be delegated simply because he was busy taking it all in!

So, intentional crime or crime of negligence? I’d be inclined to vote for negligence. It just fits what we know about Song Huaien up to that point, it fits his current circumstances and it makes Xiao Qi’s reaction quite reasonable.

The second strike against Huaien’s integrity is his love for the finer things in life. But then, is it really such a damning thing? Many of the Ningshuo soldiers must have experienced the same thing upon their arrival into the capital. Here they are, heroes and patriots all, having spent their whole life either on various battlefields or in decidedly non-luxurious circumstances. Why, they must be quite happy if they get enough to eat, which they do only because they have an honest general who cares about them very much. Other armies are not as lucky! And then they are shown all those useless noble scions, some of whom might nominally be officers despite barely knowing how to hold a sword (and even those swords would be ceremonial ones, so mostly useless). I don’t know about you, but I’d be bitter. Some of Xiao Qi’s closest clearly are, although he tends to shut that down very quickly. Also, covetousness is not a crime as long as Song Huaien is not actively taking bribes or jockeying for profit. And there is no proof of that. His manor and his title are both given to him without him ever asking for them. If he appreciates that… well, that is also not a crime and he doesn’t even gloat openly! As it later turns out, he took both as his due, believing that his talents were seen and duly appreciated outside the Ningshuo army.

Sooo… Nothing out of ordinary on that count. And seeing that at one point Song Huaien offers to use his savings to repair the ailing military budget – whether from guilt or from sense of duty – speaks to his advantage.

Now, let’s take a look at his unrequited love for Awu. I mean, is it any wonder he falls for her? I am half in love with her myself, so I totally get it! What matters is what he does with this love. Quite surprisingly, there is no attempt at coming between her and Xiao Qi. Why, Song Huaien actively tries to help their marriage by convincing Awu to return home from the temple. No hesitation there! And while he might realize he’s actually in love very late in the story (by this point it’s obvious to everybody), the realization itself changes very little. He gets very determined to go through with marrying Yuxiu, that’s it. Still no attempts to make a move on Awu. Even that flower he brought back from the Imperial Mausoleum was not an overly romantic gesture – she asked and he did as she asked in order to make her happy, nothing more. There’s also a genuine attempt to get over her. He goes to Yuxiu on their wedding night and despite the initial haziness on the matter, he seems to know quite well she’s not Awu and does his best. Although that bro slap in the morning… Let’s believe he did his best there too, the poor awkward thing. He gives her an actual hug when he comes back from Jiangnan! Progress!

What finally buried the theory that Song Huaien might rebel in order to take Awu away from Xiao Qi was his convo with Wang Su in episode 55. I was so afraid (just as I was afraid on his wedding night) that he might do something stupid. Like asking for Awu’s hand or betraying his romantic intentions towards her. But no. While Song Huaien tells Wang Su that he wants/needs to find Awu, there’s no romantic intent there, only duty towards Xiao Qi’s wife and respect towards a woman who has earned it many times over. If there is anything else, I just can’t see it! Why, during this whole conversation Song Huaien is more broken up about Xiao Qi than about Awu!

Whether Song Huaien manages to get over his love or not, there is no sign he was ever going to do anything about it, not while Xiao Qi lived and perhaps not even now that he’s supposed to be dead. Moreover, he made every possible effort to suppress his emotions out of sheer guilt and feeling of brotherhood towards Xiao Qi. Marrying Yuxiu might have been a bad, bad choice (although I still hope for the best), but it was a choice made for the best of reasons.

So that’s it, right? Well, wrong. Even with all of the above there was still a possibility for him to go the villain route. Except… he actually seems to be redeeming himself in leaps and bounds. Once away from the capital, Song Huaien seems to throw off the capital’s thrall and becomes the best version of himself. Jumping into stormy waters in clear disregard of any danger? Working tirelessly towards a common goal and for the good of the people? That’s pure Ningshuo stock, no moral rot in sight! Now, why would the narrative have him getting back to his old self only to make him regress again?

There’s also no real reason for him to ever go against Xiao Qi. If that was going to happen, I’d have expected at least some signs of bitterness and jealousy to have shown up by now. And yet there’s nothing, at least not towards Xiao Qi. Who, might I add, really does his best to mitigate any potential bitterness in the bud. Just look at the way they resolve the corruption scandal! And I’m not talking about Xiao Qi burning (or not burning?) the incriminating page. What got my attention is what their conversations over the matter boil to. Which is: Listen, brother, I get that you’ve been having some issues, but get your shit together. And please, take care of yourself. I don’t want you to get in trouble, so please remember that there are people watching your every step. No overt accusations, no anger in sight, maybe the slightest bit of sternness, but heavily undercut with roughly expressed care. And it’s the same with their confrontation over Awu. I know what’s going on with you and my wife, but I 100% get it, mate, so take a moment and decide how to proceed from here. Even if Song Huaien was actively seeking a reason to hold a grudge, it would take a truly rotten seed to find one. And a rotten seed Song Huaien is not.

Now, let’s wrap it up by going over Wang Su’s suborning of Song Huaien in episode 55. It’s really something special, as well as the main reason I’m choosing to reject any possibility of SHE/XQ showdown.

Wang Su waylays Song Huaien on his way out of camp. Song Huaien is clearly very emotional at this moment and not really inclined to stop for anybody. Why, I think that he was fully prepared to go through Wang Su if needed. It is also quite probable that his decision to leave for the capital was made on the spot, once he heard about what happened to Xiao Qi, Awu and his comrades. Yet he stops and listens, if only because Wang Su – Awu’s brother and Xiao Qi’s brother-in-law - should be his natural ally in his quest to clear Xiao Qi’s name. As he proclaims to be by announcing his willingness to join Song Huaien on his journey to the capital.

Wang Su (or rather Daddy Wang possessing Wang Su’s body) takes full advantage of Song Huaien’s state. First he breaks out a prop, Awu’s favourite wine. It does not work as well as it could have and I’d say that at this point Song Huaien remains quite astute as to Wang Su’s weird behaviour. His first outburst shows he’s got little patience for games. Awu is your sister and Xiao Qi your brother in law, he reminds Wang Su, who seems very controlled for a man with much more obvious ties to this whole situation than Song Huaien. Wang Su skips around the issue by taking out his ace card, the Empress Dowager’s order. Predictably, it takes Song Huaien off-balance and incites a sense of debt, if not gratitude. An excellent opening from the shapeshifting Daddy Wang! Then Wang Su makes an attempt at aiming Song Huaien at the Empress Dowager… and it doesn’t work. Song Huaien doesn’t care about his own life half as much as he cares about Xiao Qi. Cue a mournful soliloquy! There is no way a man this broken about his brother’s death is going to try to kill said brother in the 13 episodes remaining (less, in fact, since they will not meet until 59 or 60 at the earliest). There would be no build-up! The only way I can see this happening is if Xiao Qi went against Song Huaien first and in a deeply personal way. Which we know he would never, so...

Wang Su makes a brave attempt at corralling Song Huaien’s grief and turning it to anger, for all that he may say that anger will not help anyone; it doesn’t work and self-blame enters the picture. If only I was with him leads to a startling realization: all those honors and the brand new posting were just a ploy. Now, this realization could lead to two different results. Song Huaien could plausibly become bitter towards Xiao Qi –  because of whose very existence his own talents weren’t truly recognized and he himself became a pawn. But there’s nothing to suggest that’s true. It’s more likely for Song Huaien to turn his bitterness over his wounded pride towards the Empress Dowager in particular and scheming nobles in general. Which is what I think he does. There is also a possibility of guilt: he bought into this whole noble life fairytale… and this is what partially facilitated him being turned into a pawn. It may be just wishful thinking, but I expect that in the future Song Huaien will be more wary of unexpected meat pies falling from the sky, however tasty they may be.

Just a moment later Wang Su offers him a meat pie. He’s going to help him take revenge! And Song Huaien swallows it whole – at least for now. This is where a truly interesting thing happens. Song Huaien, a general in his own right, a true hero and a man who’s been acting as Wang Su’s equal while in Jiangnan… folds and takes to a subordinate position like a duck to the water. Tell me what to do, he seems to be screaming with his eyes. And when Wang Su starts to use the word we, there’s a palpable sense of relief in Song Huaien’s whole demeanor. What’s more, he’s not reacting to the idea that he still needs to jump through some hoops in order to become a Wang minion. I’m not sure you’re ready to become my ally, lies Wang Su, knowing very well Song Huaien’s is already in his palm. Where’s the ambition? Where’s the slightest sign that this man may be capable of going for the throne for his own sake and against his brother? I don’t see it!

The Wang family is used to needing to pay their allies in hard coin (or titles, or favours), that much is clear, because that’s what Wang Su tries next. The title of a count is too lowly, he says and then dangles a princely one in front of his victim. If Song Huaien was really as hungry for honours and wealth as some of us were expecting him to be, he’d be all over that. But he’s not. He gives it due consideration, but, if anything, this proposition seems to bring him back to reality. There are no free meat pies to be had and he’s just remembered that. But since this is the best – and likely the only – proposition/offer of help he’s going to get, he seals the deal anyway.

There’s still some reluctance, though. Why, Song Huaien needs to rationalize this decision by reminding himself that Wang Su saved his life and that there’s revenge to be taken since he’s alive (as Xiao Qi is not). Not very eager to take part in a coup, is he? And then he actually makes getting justice for Xiao Qi a condition of this alliance! Finding Awu is the second one, but as I’ve already said, there seems to be no romantic intentions there.

And that’s it, the deal is done. So now, can anybody tell me how is this Song Huaien supposed to go against Xiao Qi? He’s more likely to go for a hug once he sees him alive!

There is no reasonable way to leave in Song Huaien’s conflict with Xiao Qi. There’s just no time and no real build-up to that! The only way to have him go rogue is to have a timeskip with Song Huaien doing a 180 in the meantime. And somehow I just can’t see it happening. But I guess we’ll have to see about that!

[the-overgrowth]

Please don't read this ask as combative, I'm just genuinely curious. How do you justify the age difference between Sidra and Val? I know you said Val is technically a teenager/young adult in fae years but isn't that the same justification a lot of immortal/mortal pairings use? (Like Twilight with Edward being "frozen" at 17.) The fact is that Val's lived literally 200+ years more than her and that has to color the experience divide, right? Is there a way authors CAN make these age gaps work?

No worries! I think it’s a good question and gives me an opportunity to clarify some stuff! I should preface this by saying that it’s totally ok if people aren’t comfy with the “young woman paired with ancient magical dude” trope that’s common in fantasy nowadays. It’s not for everyone and that’s fine. I’ve tried to make my take on it more morally palatable, but if it doesn’t work you, then it doesn’t work for you.

Putting this under a cut because it got long, oops.

Val isn’t “frozen,” he literally ages 10 times slower than Sidra, including mentally and emotionally. 50-year-old fae are the equivalent of 5-year-old children. Val being 223 is basically him being in his early twenties, barely mature enough by fae standards to be considered an adult. So while Val has been an adult longer than Sidra has been alive, from her perspective, Val has also been an official “adult” for like, 2-3 years, from his perspective. He also doesn’t see Sidra as being 2 years old, he sees her as being similar to himself in age, as a young adult. In fact, it fucks him up a little that she’s a fully grown person when she’s the same technical “age” as a toddler. The same way it fucks Sidra up that he’s still alive. He can’t wrap his head around how “quick” humans are. To him, growing a mind and a body and a personality takes centuries and she did it in two decades? Weird. Gross.

I should also mention that while yes, technically the sheer amount of stuff he’s seen is more than what Sidra has, the fae also perceive time differently than humans as a result of their immortality. So he doesn’t necessarily retain all of the stuff he’s lived through, or it doesn’t affect him the same way it might affect a young developing human.

However, this is all details compared to what I think is the most important thing in cases like these: framing.

In the case of Twilight, the framing emphasizes how Edward is mature and has been through high school and college multiple times, how he knows and understands more than Bella. His age is written as adding to his power, his allure. He doesn’t consider himself a teenager, and neither do his vampire peers. In every way but physical, he’s an ancient adult. It’s supposed to be intriguing that an older, intelligent and beautiful man would find a plain teenager attractive, and his age is used to reinforce his power and dominance.

If Edward perpetually had the mind of an actual 17-year-old instead of being “physically” 17 and mentally 109 or however old he is, I think Twilight would have the opposite problem of Bella eventually dating a teenager as she grows older unless she turns into a vampire. That’s sort of touched on in the books but it doesn’t go much further beyond “I will be a wrinkly old woman and you’ll be hot forever!” because, again, Edward already had Bella beat in the “life experience” department, and would still have that over her even as she grew older.

In the case of ACOTAR, it’s a similar thing. I don’t recall if it’s ever explained how the fae mature, but I do know that Rhys has been “waiting” for Feyre before she was even born? Like, the mating bond paired him up with a human infant at some point? And he has to wait for her to become an adult before they can boink? Same with Jacob and Renesmee. That’s just straight up magical grooming, fam. These men are adults for an extremely long time while they wait for their younger partner to catch up and become legal, often not even letting her live a life independently before they marry and have babies. These men become their partners’ lives.

In my case, Val’s age is framed against a backdrop of much older fae who patronize, belittle and insult him because he’s a young man poking his fingers into things that he’s too naïve to understand, according to them. This on its own doesn’t automatically solve the age difference, but he’s not framed as having power over Sidra, he’s not considered one of the oldest and most powerful fae, he’s not held up by the narrative as an older man who somehow, against his better judgment, is lusting over someone much younger than him because she’s just so mature and full of life and special. His age isn’t held up as a mark of experience and maturity and power. It’s just a thing that marks him as different from Sidra, on a magical worldbuilding level.

The younger party is also important. Are they inexperienced and naïve? Are they a young sheltered teenager, only now entering their first ever romantic/sexual relationship? Are they entering this relationship without any prior knowledge of who they are and what they want from life and a relationship with this person? Is this adult their first and only entry point to adult life in general? (Not saying you need to have multiple partners before you can find “The One” or anything, but having a frame of reference and knowing what you want out of life and the relationship is important IMO.)

Sidra doesn’t see Val as superior to her, she doesn’t think he’s above her and that she doesn’t “deserve him” or that he’s too good and cool for her, that she’s somehow not enough because she’s younger. She sees him as an equal, which makes any attempt at pulling the age/experience card pretty meaningless, because she doesn’t believe he knows what’s best in any given situation just because of his age. She doesn’t see him as an authority on most things and doesn’t consider herself below him in most things, either. She has already built a solid understanding of who she is and what she wants (or doesn’t want, at least). One of the first things that happens in the book is her rejecting a man because she realizes that she doesn’t want for herself what he wants for her.

And while yes, Val does eventually become a large part of her life and helps her figure out what she wants and needs and what she wants to become, she does the same thing for him. He isn’t a jaded old man taken with a pretty young thing who brings light back into his life or some other cishet-white-man nonsense, he’s young and stupid too and she helps him realize what he wants and who he wants to be. And they don’t do this on purpose to each other, it just happens through their interactions. Even if it were one-sided Val simply doesn’t have the maturity and experience to essentially “groom” Sidra into anything. Plus, they don’t get married and have children at the end (spoilers, I guess). They’re not bound to each other the same way many YA fantasy books often “bind” their young protags to their much older love interests (mating bonds, marriage, kids etc). Sidra still has the choice and ability to leave him whenever she likes and she’s fully aware of it.

That being said, my solution isn’t perfect and tbh I don’t think there is one? But this is fantasy, mortal-immortal pairings will always have weird dynamics because they’re not real and everyone makes up their own reference for how they should or shouldn’t work. Things like these will be subjective, and as long as the characters involved are adults, are making informed decisions and don’t have significant power imbalances because of their age difference, I think it can work! 

(The target demographic is also very important I think. Impressionable teens shouldn’t read things that make adult men attractive or desirable. My target demographic is a bit older than that and I hope most of my future readers will have enough sense and independent thinking to know not to imitate fiction. Plus, again, I’m not playing on or emphasizing the typical age gap power dynamic.)

Hope this answered your question!

[cicinicole-14]

The karev babies and injuries with jolex!!

so listen, I wanted so badly to write these while I was in the airport/flying but I was 100% in pain and not feeling well and right before we took off, @iamtrebleclefstories was the real MVP helping me with this as we bounced ideas off of each other about the kiddos injuries.but it took me forever because I have wanted to write this all day and couldnt until now. anyway, here! have these! 

here’s injuries for all the kkc kids for head canons! 

starting oldest to youngest, 

Gracie didn’t get hurt much at all. she was relatively unscathed. sure a few bruises, bumps and scratches here and there, but nothing super drastic, nothing a few kisses couldnt heal. 

ali had a twisted ankle or two from in ballet, landing a leap wrong but it was very rare. Alex still jokes she’s the milk man’s child because shes 100% the least like either of them. she’s so calm, very well rounded, quiet, and the least stubborn of their brood. 

Alexa is Alex incarnate. 100% mini evil spawn, through and through. She’s definitely gotten hurt while pulling pranks on her siblings, she’s the prankster of the bunch, and jo has definitely told her as she was older “that’s what you get for being a mini jerkface” though Alex however is kinda impressed at how elaborate the prank ended up being even though she sprained her wrist from the fall. and jo is just like “this. this is what i get for naming our daughter alexa she is just like you” she also has sustained quite a few injuries from wrestling. being the more energetic of the brood, her Eli and CJ were enrolled in gymnastics and then Eli got burned out as did she and Alex suggested wrestling for Eli to try and Alexa had a total meltdown that she was a girl and wasnt allowed and thats how she was enrolled in wrestlings where she gave her brother a concussion because Alex knew she’d be tough enough to play the “boy” sport

Eli has sustained a few concussions in his days. his first one which he got in wrestling by being punched too hard by alexa and he fell and hit his head too hard on the mat, jo absolutely freaked the fuck out. it was right after Izzie had passed and Eli had long since become her baby boy at that point, plus she was postpartum hormonal after having Micah. It was still a lot. and she flipped out watching her son fall onto the floor and also felt better about the whole thing knowing her daughter was the one who was the reason her son was suffering from the concussion it was a whirlwind of emotions. Eli is also one of the most accident prone out of the bunch. he likes to try and keep up with his sisters, trying to show off so they’ll include him in everything and hell end up getting hurt jumping off a bunk bed or something. he also plays football since he was little which resulted in a laundry list of injuries over the years from splinted shins to knocked out teeth to black eyes and broken fingers, burns and concussions. 

Alexis will get crazy and she will come home with scratches from falling off her bike or a bruise from roughhousing with her siblings too much. she also has a scar down her index finger from where she sliced it while cutting her own hair when she was little. thankfully at this point, the karev’s didnt even bring her into the hospital. Alex stitched her up at home, already having plenty of experience stitching his rambunctious children up with cuts from doing stupid shit. 

cj, cj is the child they worry about the most. she stuck with gymnastics thankfully, to run out all her energy and give her some guidance to her bounds of energy. but with all that energy and stubborn karev-ness comes the injuries of course. cj was the reason that Alex and jo had come to the decision that if they could stitch or fix their kids up themselves at home and they wouldn’t need a CT or anything related, that they wouldn’t bother bringing their kids into the hospital for something they can stitch up themselves. with that being said, CJ has gone to the ER multiple times. she got her entire arm stuck through a window of her sister’s barbie dream house and it was so bad that it ended up swelling up, leaving jo to flip out and bring her daughter (and dismantled barbie dream house wall in tow) into the GSM ER yelling for help. it became a whole thing and no one will ever let her live that story down of when she got her entire arm stuck in the barbie dream house window. she’s also dealt with later getting her fingers slammed in the bathroom door after jo specifically told her to stop and she was going to get hurt. thankfully there was no need to go to the ER that trip but jo did have to stitch her fingers back together after having a panic attack. cj also got her entire head stuck through the rungs of the banister on the stairs. and Alex had to cut part of the banister so ever since that happened, their banister has a giant gap in it… and of course, while trying to climb into her little brother’s crib, she got her for stuck in the gaps in his crib and when she freaked out and then fell, she ended up causing herself to have a hairline fracture in her foot due to the way she twisted and fell. that was another fun ER trip. the karev’s really have their work cut out for themselves especially with her. 

Micah so far as a chubby little top heavy baby due to his fat rolls and big karev head has only rolled off the couch a few times but he’s been brought up with six other siblings always running around him or hugging him a little too tight for a baby to be hugged, or a pat on the head a bit harder than necessary. he’s the last baby though, jo and Alex aren’t too worried. he’ll survive just fine. a few sractches from siblings nails, a smack in the face or foot in the head on accident when hes crawling around and either his brother or one of his sisters is running through the house full on tripping over him, y’know, baby of the family things. Alex and jo definitely make sure he’s completely fine but its not the first time and won’t be the last. 

[jaybear1701]

It was supposed to be a simple spell.

At least, that’s what Tally had said. One sprig of mistletoe and an easy-as-pie incantation:

Love is precious Banish your woe Love is found ‘Neath the mistletoe

It had sounded fake, if Raelle was being honest. But she had no reason to doubt her fellow Gryffindor and was willing to take the chance. But, like with many things in Raelle’s Collar’s 16 years on earth, nothing was ever that simple.

Perhaps she had said the words wrong or emphasized the wrong syllables. Or perhaps the intensity of Raelle’s emotions had given her magic a little too much oomph. Or maybe she didn’t use the right mistletoe. “It had to be picked on the night of a waning gibbous moon,” Tally had exclaimed only after everything went to hell. Whatever it was, it backfired. Spectacularly.

Instead of the enchanted mistletoe appearing above the archway leading to the greenhouses—where the object of Raelle’s affections would go every morning to help Professor Sprout with all the magical plants (the mushrooms, especially, were her favorite)--it now appeared above every archway, in random locations and times, catching students and professors and even ghosts unaware. 

What made it even worse: the nefarious mistletoe trapped unexpected couples underneath it until they kissed. (Raelle didn’t think she’d ever be able to purge from memory the sight of Headmistress Alder locking lips with Peeves the poltergeist.) Anyone who dared to defy its mandate were forced to have their deepest crush announced to every corner of the castle by multiple Howlers--which is how everyone now knew that Libba Swythe, a Slytherin, had a thing for a Gryffindor. And not just any Gryffindor. Her sworn nemesis: Abigail Bellweather.

At lunch, the Great Hall was decorated like it always was during the winter holidays. A massive Christmas tree with all the trimmings sparkled at the front of the hall. Giant wreaths adorned the walls, and a flurry of snowflakes floated above their heads. The air smelled of pine and sugar cookies, and Raelle would have enjoyed it if not for the calamity she had brought down on Hogwarts and all its residents.

Sitting at Gryffindor’s table, Abigail’s scowl was dark and furious. She stabbed at her meal with more force than necessary, glaring at Raelle as she vigorously chewed.

“This is all your fault,” Abigail said, very much heated.

“Keep your voice down, will you?” Raelle lowered her head, glancing to the left and right. The last thing she needed was for Professor Quartermaine to find out that she caused everything. “Besides, it was Tally’s spell.”

“Um, excuse you, it was not my spell.” Tally looked offended. “No one forced you to use it, Rae.”

“She’s right,” Abigail grumbled. “And now everything’s the worst.”

“For what it’s worth, I think it’s the best,” Tally sing-songed, high on a dreamy cloud after sharing multiple kisses with Gerit Buttonwood all over the castle. “As do a lot of people. Nothing wrong with a kiss here and there.”

Abigail rolled her eyes. “None of this would have happened if you just told Ramshorn the truth,” she said. “And what's worse is that you haven't even tried to catch her under one of those vile weeds."

"I'm working on it," Raelle said.

"You are the most cowardly Gryffindor in the history of Gryffindors,” Abigail stressed. 

“Look, it’s not that easy, okay?” Raelle stole a glance over at the Ravenclaw table, where Scylla looked as effortlessly gorgeous as ever, head buried in a thick tome, as usual. She was probably crafting all sorts of new spells and potions in that brilliant mind of hers. Uncertainty washed over Raelle. Even if she managed to kiss Scylla under some mistletoe... how would she go about telling one of her best friends that she's in love with her? What if Scylla didn’t feel the same way? Would Raelle ruin their friendship? She couldn’t imagine life without the bright, witty, and rebellious Ravenclaw. 

"It’s not like you’re running to Libba even though she loves you too for some reason," Raelle deflected. 

The blush on Abigail’s face was brighter than the red on her robes. “This isn’t about me.”

Raelle watched as Scylla stood from her table and made her way out of the Great Hall. At the Hufflepuff table, Porter Tippett also stood. He only had eyes for Scylla, as well. Oh hell no. On instinct, Raelle shot to her feet. The last thing she needed was for Porter to try to rekindle anything with Scylla because Raelle’s spell had gone awry.

“Where are you going?” Tally asked, eyebrows raised. 

“I don’t know,” Raelle said. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Abigail shook her head.

Raelle ignored them both to follow Scylla, who had some free time before her next class--not that Raelle had memorized her schedule or anything. Perhaps she was going back to Ravenclaw Tower. She had to find Scylla before Porter did.

Raelle walked quickly down the hallways, shoes clacking against stone. She bounded up the moving staircases, two sometimes three steps at a time, drawing warnings from several of the portraits to be careful. She hoped she was taking the right path to Ravenclaw Tower. No matter how often Scylla told her the way, Raelle found it confusing, as if it was an ever shifting puzzle that only the Ravenclaws could figure out. Thankfully, Porter apparently found it just as mystifying because Raelle lost him somewhere between the third and fourth floors.

Skidding around a corner, Raelle’s heart lodged firmly in her throat when she saw Scylla underneath an archway, alone thankfully, staring up at a bundle of leaves and white berries. Raelle willed herself to be calm and approached slowly, not wanting to startle Scylla.

“Looks like you could use some help,” Raelle called out. Nerves made the tips of her fingers number and she rubbed her hands together.

Scylla’s head snapped toward the sound of her voice, shoulders visibly relaxing when she saw it was Raelle. “Thank the goddess it’s you,” she breathed out.

“I guess you could do worse,” Raelle said as she joined Scylla, pulse ticking ever upward.

“Not by much,” Scylla teased.

“Ouch,” Raelle said. 

Scylla’s gaze returned to the mistletoe. “I can’t believe some idiot botched this spell. I mean, a first-year could do it. Whoever it was probably picked the mistletoe during a waxing gibbous moon.”

“R-right.” Raelle rubbed the back of her neck. “What an idiot.”

Silence stretched between them, awkward and thick. 

“Well, I guess we should get this over with.” Scylla looked at her expectantly, but Raelle found she couldn’t move. She was frozen in place, as if someone had hit her with an Immobulus charm. 

“Are you okay?” Scylla’s brows furrowed. 

“Yeah, I just…” It was hard to speak with the way her mouth suddenly dried out.

“It’s just a kiss.” Scylla moved closer and touched Raelle’s elbow. “No big deal.”

Raelle’s stomach dropped. Because of course . It wasn’t a big deal to Scylla because she didn’t feel the same as Raelle. And in that moment, Raelle knew she had messed up. Royally. Why had she thought some mistletoe would miraculously lead to Scylla returning her unrequited love. She should have never cast that spell.

She was so stupid .

But she had a chance to fix it now. To bury her feelings and give Scylla a quick peck and be done with it. But...

“I can’t,” Raelle whispered, tired of hiding. 

Scylla’s face fell and that made Raelle’s heart crack. “Would kissing me be that terrible?”

“What? No!” Raelle covered her face with her hands. This was a disaster. “That’s not…”

“Rae,” Scylla gently pulled down Raelle’s hands, blue eyes as clear as the shimmering waters of the Great Lake on a cloudless day. “It’s okay. You don’t have to kiss me, if you don’t want to.” 

“That’s the thing.” Raelle’s chest throbbed. “I do want to. More than you know. But not like this.”

“Like what?” Scylla asked, baffled. 

“Like it doesn’t mean anything.” Raelle took a deep breath. It was now or never. She’d prove she wasn’t the most cowardly Gryffindor in the history of Gryffindors. “Because, Scyl, it’d mean everything to me. Because you mean everything .”

Scylla licked her lips. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying, I love you. I’m in love with you. Have been for as long as I can remember. But I understand if you don’t feel the same.”

Closing her eyes, Scylla ducked her head down, shoulders beginning to shake. Raelle couldn’t tell if she was laughing or crying.

“Scyl? Say something. Please.”

When Scylla finally looked up, Raelle for sure thought her heart stopped. Tears shone in her eyes, and her mouth curved up in a trembling smile.

“You know what Muggles say about assumptions, right?” Scylla said.

Raelle watched dumbfounded as Scylla stepped away and out past the perimeter of the mistletoe’s reach. Howlers appeared out of thin air, and their screech was deafening. They flapped to all corners of the castle. Even with her hands clapped around her ears, Raelle could hear the message clearly:

Scylla Ramshorn, Seventh Year, Ravenclaw, is in love with Raelle Collar, Sixth Year, Gryffindor.

Scylla Ramshorn, Seventh Year, Ravenclaw, is in love with Raelle Collar, Sixth Year, Gryffindor.

Scylla Ramshorn, Seventh Year, Ravenclaw, is in love with Raelle Collar, Sixth Year, Gryffindor.

The message repeated for what seemed like eternity before it finally ceased, leaving Raelle in stunned silence, facing burning.

Scylla shrugged helplessly.

In less than a fraction of a second, Raelle erased the gap between them and kissed Scylla, cupping her jaw and burying her fingers in soft, auburn hair. Scylla wrapped her arms around Raelle and brought them even closer. Raelle melted into the softness of Scylla’s lips, warmth spreading throughout her entire body as her heart expanded to the point of bursting. 

“Why didn’t you say something sooner?” Scylla whispered when they broke apart, foreheads resting against each other.

“Why didn’t you?” Raelle countered, smiling so widely her cheeks were beginning to hurt.

“I guess we’re both idiots.”

“Guess so.”

Scylla nuzzled the tip of Raelle’s nose. “Speaking of idiots, I’ll have to thank the one who bungled the mistletoe spell after all.” Her gaze traveled up to the archway. The mistletoe had already disappeared to claim its next victim. 

“Lucky for you, you don’t have to search very far,” Raelle confessed.

Scylla’s eyes widened. “It was you?”

Raelle nodded sheepishly, and Scylla could only laugh, pulling her in for another kiss. 

[tsarisfanfiction]

Flood

Fandom: Team Fortress 2 Rating: Teen Genre: Adventure/Angst Characters: Scout, Medic, Engineer

A storm has left the canyon at Double Cross a raging torrent, but the Announcer decides to proceed with the mission nonetheless. Character study turned story.

Scout glared out at the sun as it dared to peak out from behind the storm clouds. He liked the storm, thank you very much, and the ceasefire that it had brought on. Now, however, he realised that they're have to go out onto the battle field, to be killed multiple times in varying ways – from a quick headshot to a slow and painful burning – all for the sake of money, and a rivalry that never showed any signs of ending. Not that he was complaining about the money, mind you. All except the very basics that he required to live on was sent to his Ma back in Boston, to keep her and his numerous brothers afloat. When he was younger, he'd never imagined that he'd become the main breadwinner in the household. Most of his brothers had failed to find themselves jobs, mainly due to their criminal records. Scout himself would be in the same boat, if he had not been approached, after a particularly nasty gang fight that had left most of the opposing gang dead or incapacitated, by Miss Pauling – such a hottie – and given an offer that he just couldn't refuse. Regardless of what his teammates thought, he was not stupid. He knew that with his childhood the best future he could hope for was life imprisonment so when he was offered the chance to become immortal (only during battles) and fight for a living he knew that it was more than he deserved. Especially when he signed the contract and saw how much he was to be paid. He thought it excessive, although he was careful not to mention this to his employers in case they decided that he could do with a pay cut, until he started. After the first day, he realised that 'immortal' had not meant what he'd expected, after several trips through respawn. After experiencing death so many times, and in so many ways, he understood why they were being paid so much. His Ma didn't agree with his job, but she realised, like him, that it was more than he or any of his brothers could ever have hoped to earn, and so long as he came home in one piece at Christmas she had no reason to pull him out. Not that she could, what with the contract he had signed, but she didn't know what the exact contents of that was. And he had no intention of telling her that it was for the rest of his life. Which would be until his speed – which was what had prompted Miss Pauling to approach him in the first place – lessened until it was no longer his advantage. At that point, he knew, he would no longer be useful to them and more likely than not would be terminated. He'd never been expressively told that, but the implications were there and, as already stated, he wasn't as stupid as most people thought.

He surfaced from his reverie when the rain stopped, water droplets no longer falling on him. Not that it mattered – he'd been out there so long he was soaked to the bone. He turned his back on the sun and re-entered the building, avoiding the other mercs as he headed straight for his room to dry off. Medic was good, but none of his equipment was suitable for curing colds, or even hypothermia. All that would happen would be that he was confined to the medbay and having to sleep with one eye open in case the insane doctor decided to use him as a test subject for one of his weird experiments. It had happened before, and Scout was not willing to go through it again. So with this motivation he threw off his dripping clothes and had a quick, hot, shower in his private en-suite (thank God for that – he hated showering with other people around) before pulling on his uniform and grabbing his faithful bat before leaving the room to locate his teammates. As he entered the communal area to find it empty he heard the Announcer.

"Battle begins in 60 seconds."

That explained where everyone had gone, but why was he the only one to have not known in advance, he wondered as he put his greatest asset to use as he sprinted to the respawn room. For his teammates' sakes, he hoped they were already there. He'd make it in time, because of his speed, but none of the others would, and tardiness was not accepted in this line of work. It got you killed. Permanently. He skidded into the room as the Announcer proclaimed that they had 30 seconds remaining, and noted that he was, indeed, the last to arrive. Soldier drew breath to shout at him but Demo got there first.

"Where ye been, lad? Didny'a hear her earlier?" Scout shook his head and grabbed his headset from its place in his locker, jamming it on over his hat.

"10…" Scout tuned out the countdown as he crouched by the balcony, ready to jump to the floor below. They were at Double Cross, and as such was guaranteed to be a 'Capture the intel before they get ours' mission. The countdown ended and he propelled himself off the balcony, ready to sprint for the intel. He faltered slightly when he realised that he had landed in about an inches' worth of water. That made things harder, although at least the enemy Pyro was not such a threat. Out the doors he ran and out onto the narrow bridge. Immediately he had to dodge as an arrow came whistling towards him, courtesy of the opposing Sniper. Adrenaline took over, as it always did and he wove his way to the opposing base. He made it to the room that housed the intel with little problem – and knew that his counterpart would have done the same (it was easy for someone of their speed to reach the opposing base with no injury at Double Cross) – before slowing and assessing the surroundings. The Engineer was bound to have set up sentries to protect the intel – he knew Engie had done so – and he took a quick stock of their positions before darting in and grabbing the briefcase. Escaping also went without a hitch – he ran rings around the lone sentry, noting a lack of the Engineer, before darting back out, now slightly slower due to the case on his back. And that was when it all started to go wrong. First he was met by the Pyro, but as he'd already surmised they were useless in the flood and so easily went down from one blast of his scattergun without causing any damage to him. Next was an Über-charged Heavy and his accompanying Medic. Scout cursed, then jumped to the other side of the sand piles to dodge the roaring minigun as he continued his mad dash back to base. Just as he was about to reach relative safety an arrow struck his leg. The Sniper had got a lucky strike. His leg buckled and he fell off the bridge and down onto the railtracks beneath it. Ordinarily, this would not have been a problem, but with all the rain there was a healthy flood down there. The water behind him gained a red tinge as he bled and he knew that he had to get out of there. Especially when he heard an ominous rumble of thunder. Surrounded by water as he was, one lightning strike in the vicinity and he was toast. The heavens re-opened and Scout was hit by a sudden deluge of water. In a panic, he realised that with his injured leg and the heavy briefcase, he had no hope of swimming against the current that was slowly but surely pushing him away from Double Cross. The ice-cold water, helped by his wound, sapped at his strength just as efficiently as a Spy could sap a sentry. He entertained the thought of suicide, just to get back to respawn – the intel could wait; it would reappear in the base soon enough for him to reclaim – when he realised that he was likely outside the respawn barrier. If he died, he'd die. With this realisation he did the only thing he could think of. Reaching for his mic, he brought it as close to his face as he could and called for help. Predictably, Medic was the one that replied, asking where he was and how bad his injuries were – assessing if respawn was the better option, no doubt.

"Fell off the bridge," Scout gasped. "Sniper got me in the leg. Water's pushing me away. Think I'm outside respawn. Got the intel." Panic and the cold forced him to speak in short sentences as he gasped for air, watching the water tumbling down the sides of the canyon towards him, reinforcing the water and making it hard for him to fight the current. He heard Medic reporting his predicament to someone as he struggled to keep his head above water, undercurrents making themselves known as they tried to drown him. He'd given up fighting the direction of travel, instead keeping an eye out for something to cling to – an outcrop of rock, even plants would do at this point. Just as he was about to give up and accept his fate – Medic muttering in his ear about how he couldn't do anything to help him made his situation all the more real – he saw an outcrop, just as he was hoping. The water lead him straight to it, smashing his body against it mercilessly – Scout felt several ribs break – and he grabbed for it, somehow finding the strength to climb up. It was a tall plateau, exactly what he needed, and away from the edges so the cascading water didn't hit him and he flopped onto it in relief, grateful for the respite. His entire body hurt – muscles seizing up from the cold and smashed ribs abusing his insides – so he stayed as still as he could. Looking back the way he had come, he could just about make out Double Cross in the distance, flashes of blue and red indicating that the battle was still in full swing. Realising the only way that his team had a hope of winning, he pushed the briefcase away from him, letting it drop back into the raging torrent.

"I dropped it," he panted into his mike. "Someone – go get it. We have to win." He heard someone – Engie, he thought - acknowledge him and relaxed, completely exhausted. "A-and... T-tell Ma… Tell her that I'm sorry," he sighed, knowing that he was dead. Safe as he was on the rock, no-one could reach him and his injuries were sapping what little strength he'd managed to maintain as he bled out. By the time the water calmed enough to allow access to him, either his injuries or hypothermia would have finished him off.

"Don't talk like that!" Soldier barked in his ear. "You will live, you hear me. True men don't let a little water best them." Despite the harsh words, Scout could hear the worry in his voice.

"Pyro's got the intel," Sniper said suddenly. A moment later there was a cheer as the firebug returned to the base, winning them the mission.

"At least we won," Scout sighed in relief, closing his eyes.

"Herr Scout!" Medic's voice cut through him. "Stay avake! Ve are coming for you."

"D-don't bother," Scout whispered. "I'll be dead before you get here." His teeth began to chatter as the anticipated hypothermia set it. "B-bye, g-guys." With that he let his eyes close and waited for death.

"-out?" cut through his consciousness, not loud enough to have come from his headset. "Scout!" Scout? Who was Scout? Why couldn't they leave him alone? He moaned at them in protest but the insistent voice continued. A sudden pain in his leg made him cry out in protest and his eyes cracked open just enough to see a fuzzy person looking down at him. Funny, they had a yellow head. "Come on, son. Wake up." He squinted at them in annoyance and watched them come into view properly. His head wasn't yellow, he realised. He was wearing a yellow hat. A gloved hand gently patted his cheek in an attempt to wake him and he moved his head away. "Scout. You need to wake up." Slowly his consciousness returned to him enough to put a name to the irritating voice, and the face of the man bending over him. Engie. Why did that seem important? Engie…

It all came flooding back to him – getting shot, falling into the raging torrent, throwing away the intel. Saying goodbye…

"Engie?" he murmured as the face finally came into sharp focus. The Texan grinned at him.

"Good to have you back, son."

"Herr Engineer," another familiar voice began – Medic. "Ve cannot move him far. Can you set up a teleporter?"

"Sure thing, Doc," Engie said. He stood and retrieved the necessary blueprints. Soon the familiar sound of a teleporter whirred into existence. Engie returned to Scout's side and picked him up, presumably at a signal from Medic. Short as he was, the Engineer was hardly weak and he carried the semi-conscious Scout through the teleporter with ease. As they materialised, Scout became aware of the other mercs beginning to crowd round as Engie placed him on a bed – the teleporter appeared to have led straight into the medbay.

"Give ze boy some room!" Medic snapped as he emerged, shooing them all away as he brought his giant medigun to face Scout's battered body. The machine whirred to life and Scout felt his ribs realigning. As usual when under the effects of the gun, there was no pain, just the strange sensation of feeling his body put itself back together. Soon it was over and Medic cut through bandages that Scout hadn't even noticed had been wrapped round his chest.

"Zhere is no need for zhese any more, ja?" he said as he removed them. Scout managed a lopsided grin.

"Thanks, Doc."

Unfortunately, the gun did nothing for the hypothermia and so Scout was bundled up under several layers of blankets and told to sleep. Despite his misgivings about sleeping in the medbay he soon went under, welcoming the darkness.

When he next woke, the following morning, he saw Medic approaching with a wicked grin and a needle in one hand. Scout didn't even pause to think – he threw off his covers and fled the room, accompanied by the laughter of the doctor. Scout vowed to never again fall ill near the man. Medic hounded him into the communal area, where the other mercs were waiting.

"Good ta have ya back, mate," Sniper said. Scout froze as Heavy grabbed him in a massive bearhug.

"Leetle Scout is safe," he cheered. Scout watched Medic arrive in the corner of his eye and tried to get away, until he realised that the doctor was no longer holding his instruments.

"You seem to be cured," he chuckled. Scout glowered at him when he realised that Medic had frightened him on purpose.

"That was not funny!"