#which is a very exciting thought
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dare i hope?
#could i be experiencing the seeds of ideas for -gasps- original work?#for the first time in idk how long?#i mean maybe original is a Stretch the character in question did very much start off as a slasher film oc lol#but that makes her versatile in a way a lot of my other characters simply cant be#nothing is clear yet like im not getting Too excited here#rn its like#vague notions i have in the back of my head while i do other shit#tossing around themes and aesthetics blending up what i already know & mixing it#do not ask me for a plot i dont Have any inkling of that yet#or even a solid genre really.#but like.#this might evolve into something eventually over the coming months#which is a very exciting thought#havent felt that in a hot minute
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happy hozier day to all those who celebrate
#hozier releasing a new ep on his bday which is also st patricks day…big day for irish ppl!#i am canadian idk if any of that means anything#if not i am sorry </3#i’m like 1/8th irish at the very most so </3#i just think it is neat#anyways i’m scheduling this for 12am i will update later with my thoughts on the ep 😁#update: LOVE THEM!!! love the new sound tiktok can suck it i am very excited to see where he goes 😁#st patricks day#eat your young#hozier
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I haven’t canonized the complete order in which the ancients corrupted yet, but there’s a high chance now that Lily was first while Vanilla was last
#beast ancients au#read: high chance. order still unconfirmed#initially I said cheese might have been first but with recent thoughts it might be different#I’ve been keeping midnight lily lore semi lowkey for now because she’s v integrated with salt and the cod#which we need more info on#but im very excited to share what I have when the time comes#also those two protags I’ve been juggling
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So I was rewatching the hbomb plagiarism video to get some chill morning embroidery time in and I got to the bit about Radclyff Hall and her book, The Well of Loneliness, about lesbian WW1 ambulance drivers, and the video says all of her books were ordered burned, but I was curious and fam. At least one person hid their copy. It's on Project Gutenberg Australia. So if you want to read about lesbian ambulance drivers in the first world war...
#I don't particularly want to read about ww1 ambulance drivers rn no matter how lesbian#mostly because I don't even have time to read the cnovels I do want to read right now#but I thought this was a good thing that should be shared#Radclyff Hall#james somerton#hbomberguy#Loxie has words#my embroidery is going very well but I'll have to stop soon and finish catching up on my physics lessons#this course is hybrid so I need to watch all the videos before class monday#which is also the very last class this semester#I'm very excited
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EoW is going to come next Thursday, im surprised that there’s no final trailer. Unless that recap trailer counted as one then thats a little underwhelming. But I think that’s good tbh, don’t hype me up with a story driven trailer cause I’ll just assume the most out of it like I did with TotK. I am glad they’re keeping Ganon a secret tho that makes me more excited on what they’re brewing but I will be a bit disappointed if he turns out to be uninteresting. Mixed abt the gameplay, I don’t feel too crazy abt it cause it follows the same damn mechanics as TotK. But I am excited to see this world of Hyrule, funnily enough it feels very alive. I love that they returned the River Zora and the Deku. I wonder if the Koroks would be back or if the Deku replaced the current forest dwelling race (i doubt it cause the game said the Deku are in the Faron region and we have seen a few glimpses of this world’s Korok woods if still named by that)
I dunno im curious to what’s to unfold, I am going to keep an eye out to the youtubers who upload gameplay stuff early for sure
#this games whole promo has been rlly quiet compared to totk’s#this was probably my perception of time but I thought we had two weeks left#which yeah but its now less than two weeks#i dont feel excited nor pessimistic i am very like in a good middle#txt
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all of humanity’s karma, bring it forth | offer it all up, from beginning to end | with my inner eye open, the lotus flower blooms
#kuko harai#bad ass temple#hypmic#hypnosis mic#if i had a nickel for every time i had a canon excuse to give kuukou a third eye i would have two nickels#which isn’t a lot but they’re the two most dope nickels so i ain’t mad LMAO#my head hurts from emoting too much on little sleep from anticipating this solo so imma keep it short#BUT THANK YOU FOR BEING SO MUCH MORE THAN WHAT I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE#ALL THOSE BUDDHISM THEMES WRITTEN INTO HIS VERY CHARACTER ARE FINALLY FULL FRONT IN CENTER IN THIS SOLO#AND IM SO EXCITED TO SEE WHERE THE TRACK GOES#THANK YOU KR FOR LETTING HIRONO SAN WRITE IT HES LITERALLY THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN WRITE A SONG THAT ENCOMPASSES KUUKOU LIKE THIS#AND THANK YOU HAYAMA SAN FOR GIVING IT KUUKOUS VOICE I OWE THE BOTH OF THEM MY ENTIRE LIFE#vee is arting
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Just got my first freeze and I'm yelling.
#in stars and time#isat spoilers#got very confused for a second because I thought my game experienced uncharacteristic lag#and then the sprite looked different from passing out#at which point I realised what was going on and immediately went !!!#Mirabelle has just been knocked out so it may be a new loop for me o7#but aaaah I knew something like this would be coming up as soon as Mirabelle learned how to unfreeze a teammate#so excited for floor 2 now#even more than I already was
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attended another pride event!! it was a kvenish + southern sami brooch workshop! it was very cozy and fun and i made a kvenish style brooch out of salmon skin!
#and got myself the kvenish style progress flag. very excited about it#i met up super early because there were limited spots and i thought obviously lots of people want to attend#we were maybe like. 4 attendants so it was a very intimate workshop haha#but it's also really super rainy today so i suspect not many people were tempted to leave the house today#there were also excerpts read from the first explicitly gay norwegian novel odd lyng#which was written by a kvenish man so that was also very interesting#culture!!!!!
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"shen qingqiu is a liar who is lying about his feelings so we can't ACTUALLY tell how he feels about anything"
so you admit that you can tell he is lying and by extension you can actually discern what his true feelings on the matter are and that he's just unwilling to admit to them.
#svsss#shen qingqiu#i read fantl of a manhwa once where the translator changed a character saying “I hate that guy” to something to the effect of like#“I really like that guy but i don't know what to do with my feelings”#which was you know. just stating the intended subtext laid out very clearly by the story#however the translator said they thought it would be “confusing” and they didn't know why the author wrote that when it was untrue.#and i don't..... get it#like part of the appeal of subtext is letting your readers feel the excitement of being in on a secret#knowing something that even the characters don't know and feeling pleased with yourself#and adding a layer of frustration because you know what's REALLY happening and this idiot DOESN'T and keeps making decisions#that are logical when you examine their worldview of the situation!!!#but OBVIOUSLY DISASTROUS when you know what's actually going on.#and that's on purpose!!! you're supposed to be frustrated and feel your smugness turning into dawning horror#because you are omniscient but have absolutely fuckall power to do anything with that knowledge#and you have to watch blorbo ruin their fucking life.#more people need to have faith in their ability to interpret subtext#and more people need to have faith in the author's ability to write it intentionally
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cyno: could you give me advice on how to get closer to alhaitham?
kaveh: huh?? why are you asking me? i hate alhaitham
cyno: haha oh yeah that’s one of my favorite jokes you do it’s so funny :)
kaveh: …..one of your favorite what?
#cytham#haino#cyhaino#cyno#alhaitham#haino incorrect quotes#i think cyno should just take it all as a very intricate joke instead of just stubborn friendship denial#kaveh would be spiraling rip#suddenly has to wonder if EVERYONE thinks it’s a joke#(they don’t)#and yet somehow he’s closer to the truth than everyone else😌 best investigator fr#also this would have astronomical implications for cyno’s ‘he lives rent free in each of our hearts’ quip#and also ALSO kaveh being torn between giving cyno advice and acknowledging he’s friends with alhaitham openly#or refusing cyno and feeling BAD but maintaining his reputation#is my aesthetic#also he would OBVIOUSLY give the advice while pleading that cyno does NOT tell anyone he did#which cyno doesn’t because he keeps promises and also because he’s excited he gets to be in on their joke#srry for all the tags my brain gets one (1) thought about them and runs with it forever#genshin impact#genshin incorrect quotes
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Okay so I've had some meta thoughts about Laurence's amnesia and how it relates to his relationship with Tharkay sitting in my drafts for like over a year now so I figured I'd finally clean it up and post it. Heads up it's really long.
Laurence finally consciously realises that he loves Tharkay (or is in love with him, whatever nuance you'd like) after "knew him, and knew himself." But at this point he's completely in pieces as a person (more on this next paragraph). Post-amnesia, he's an entirely different man. Pre-Temeraire Laurence is the harshest, strictest version both of and with himself. He follows the rules to the letter, basically takes Temeraire only out of duty in the beginning, and even keeps the promise between him and Edith despite there being no formal arrangement at all. Post-Temeraire but pre-amnesia Laurence has softened. He's putting less emphasis on the rules and more on his morals (see: treason). He has more leeway but still carries that honor/duty/order with himself.
Which is why post-amnesia Laurence is the version of himself that discovers that he loves Tharkay. In the wake of losing his memories and then regaining them he's lost and unmoored. Both of his past selves are so different and therefore so distant. They're both true but it's too jarring for him - especially in his current circumstances, much less the overall war - so Laurence becomes a new person. This is Laurence at his most vulnerable, his most unguarded, who smiles more often now because he doesn't really know that he didn't smile that much before. He has two major tethers to his personhood: Temeraire and Tharkay (I hesitate to say only tethers, simply because Laurence's life isn't that small, but repeatedly these two are the ones who have had the biggest impact on his life, who have kept him going). Obviously he loves Temeraire, he's never going to stop loving Temeraire, he just isn't capable of it, but seeing Temeraire didn't bring back his memories (I can't imagine how Temeraire must have felt, meeting a version of Laurence who had never met him). Laurence loves Temeraire in the most unconditional, selfless way - to be very Greek about it, his philia. But I think when he finally comprehends how Tharkay was the catalyst behind this radical change of his self he dives into his memories again and goes over them in excruciating detail (and he was definitely doing that already, but now he's doing it with a lens exclusively focused on Tharkay). At some point he comes to the realisation that Tharkay loves him, and that he loves him, and that he's been unconsciously shoving it down every time it's surfaced (past-Laurence was saying no homo while actively homo-ing). And with the benefit of being an new version of the same person (and also some hindsight, finally), this Laurence says, I've committed treason. My country sees me as a traitor but they still need me to serve them as a tool. I lost myself once in a war (see: "what are you doing?") that's still being fought. Time is short and there's no guarantee I won't lose my memories again, that I will still be the person I am right now. What do I have to lose?
(And on some level, this Laurence thinks, what can stop me?)
He begins giving to Tharkay what Tharkay always had given to him. His acts of devotions start small (relative to Tharkay's; transporting too many ferals is obviously a little outside of what Laurence can feasibly do). He cares for Tharkay once he wakes ("have you noticed the top of your head appears likely to come off?"), he helps him eat and drink, he massages his hands once they heal, he stays with him through the nightmares that come to haunt him. And he continues doing these little things for Tharkay, hoping that he understands (he's willing to wait, Tharkay waited for him after all, and Laurence doesn't want to push him, especially as he's healing). But I think the act that hits Tharkay like, oh, it's different this time is when Laurence bargains his freedom to Napoleon. I feel like that carries unspeakable meaning for Tharkay, who was ostracized growing up and ended up never having a "permanent" home since he travelled so much. I can't imagine that he hasn't been in a similar situation before, but he's probably always been expected to weasel his way out of it without any outside help. He's trained himself out of expecting someone to help him, to care enough about him to save him. Yet part of the man who turned to treason simply so the dragons of France wouldn't die in pain lives on in this Laurence. Pre-Temeraire Laurence is rules and post-Temeraire pre-amnesia Laurence is morals, but post-amnesia Laurence is all heart. There was never a way he was going to leave Tharkay behind.
So Tharkay starts watching him. He watches Laurence continue to devote himself to him, again and again. He brings him his coat on cold days. When it rains and their scars ache he curls around his hands and rubs lotion into them. When he goes into town he always brings Tharkay back a little gift. He starts growing vegetables in the garden and he learns how to cook non-wartime foods and how to knit (because he is a man forged by war and what does one even do during peacetime when one's dragon is busy reforming the government, anyway?) and suddenly he's providing for Tharkay like never before. He looked away for one moment and suddenly Laurence's prescence and all that he does has made the manor a home.
Yet Tharkay, for years, has told himself so many times that Laurence is off-limits, untouchable, that he can love him but that there's no chance that Laurence will love him back. The only way he can love Laurence is silently, nearly from afar, and so he tried to do that. But he can't just stand by and so every time he finds himself committing a deux ex Tharkay (see: ferals, again). He understands that there's some shit Laurence needs to learn himself (and god is this series very good about character development for Laurence) but he's not going to do nothing when the man in about to die. For him it's about caring and providing for Laurence even if he doesn't know it. He learns to content himself with the knowledge that, even if nothing comes of it, he can still be by Laurence's side.
But then the amnesia plot happens (which he only learns of after all of it goes down) and suddenly there is a half-stranger wearing the skin of the man he loves (loved, he tells himself) looking at him with those familiar blue eyes filled with a completely unfamiliar emotion. He's relieved that Laurence remembers but he's said that his Laurence is gone that he's even thinking of it like that (Tharkay has a lot of anger, both at himself and others and the world). Laurence is right in front of him, he's not gone at all, but he's gone in a way that matters. But also this new Laurence is by his side all the time. He's feeding him and helping him drink and dress and he sleeps on the floor by his bedside. Tharkay is so confused because this has to be some kind of fantasy dream he's having. He must still be in the cave (and it's believable that he is, because he returns there every night in his dreams). But he isn't and he has to struggle to come to terms with this new Laurence.
So every time Laurence does something even remotely nice he hyper-analyses it and rationalizes it to himself. He deludes himself into thinking that this is normal for Laurence now. It's normal for Laurence to fuss and hen over him now; it's normal for him to smile at him with that emotion written plainly on his face that Tharkay still hasn't (refuses) to decipher. And he does this well into post-canon.
For that reason he only gets with the program when Laurence has to leave the manor (leave home) for a long while (probably with Temeraire) and suddenly Tharkay is all alone in this huge manor. He's wearing the socks Laurence knitted for him and eating food Laurence grew and walking into rooms and seeing little parts of him scattered everywhere. There's a novel he's reading left on the table by the chair he prefers in the library. There's a cookbook in the kitchen in which he's bookmarked recipes he thinks he might like. Tharkay finds a handwritten list of things they need to buy in town left out for him. He left his pillows on Tharkay's bed because he knows he likes sleeping with a ton of pillows (and they smell like him, and Tharkay pretends he doesn't bury his face in him, that he doesn't miss him while he's gone). When Tharkay wakes up in the morning he makes two cups of tea and waits for Laurence to come in from talking with Temeraire before remembering that neither of them are here (home). He expects Laurence to appear in the evenings to ask if he wants to go on a walk through the grounds with him (and he always ends up saying yes). Tharkay learns that the manor is too big for one man who has always been a little too lonely in his life.
So until Laurence returns home he plots and plans and agonizes. After a week once Laurence has come home (and the first thing he had said to him was welcome home, and Laurence had beamed at him, and it was so unbelievably natural to say it) Tharkay begins his attempts at reciprocating. He wakes up earlier so that he can brew Laurence tea so he can take it out to sit with Temeraire. He says that he cooked some of the recipes from Laurence's cookbook and insists on making them for Laurence (he had to figure out his system of marking which recipes were Laurence's favourites). He gifts him a sturdy, functional, and beautifully crafted knife to wear around the house for daily use; he specifically makes sure the knife is up to Temeraire's standards. In fact, Tharkay talks to Temeraire about everything, and Temeraire tells him, with no minced words while completely drawing his own conclusions, that it's very nice that Tharkay is asking him for his blessing, but does he really need it at this point? Haven't they been courting long enough? He's always approved of Tharkay, because he makes Laurence happy.
That's how Tharkay realises he and Laurence have been dancing around each other like shy birds, both of them subtly showing off but not making the first move. And maybe he realises that Laurence is thinking how he used to think - that it's okay as long as he can be by his side, that he doesn't need his love reciprocated (it's a very long chain of Tharkay loving Laurence, Laurence knowing Tharkay loves him and loving him back, and Tharkay loving Laurence and knowing he knows he loves him and loves him back). And of course Tharkay wasn't going to make the first move back then, and if Laurence hasn't by now, then maybe he should borrow some of Temeraire's courage.
It's something small. The words come later, given how action-forward both Laurence and Tharkay are. They don't even need words. Maybe Tharkay takes Laurence's hand during dinner and intertwines their fingers, maybe he touches Laurence's cheek after he's braided his hair as their eyes meet in the mirror, maybe as they pack away the port and piquet he kisses him good night. Whatever it is, they look at each other and simply know. Tharkay sees Laurence slowly start to smile, a huge one that spreads across his entire face, one that he's only seen on Laurence when he thinks he's alone with Temeraire. He seems to brighten, almost radiating light.
For his part, Laurence reciprocates. He squeezes Tharkay's hand, he turns his cheek into Tharkay's touch, he pulls him in for another kiss. He watches as something seems to drop from Tharkay, something that he hadn't even known he was carrying. He becomes loose and relaxed, his body language more open as he looks at Laurence with one of his little smiles, a bit of shyness that he's never seen before evident on his face. He tells Tharkay that he's the most beautiful person he's ever seen.
#temeraire meanwhile ABSOLUTELY thought laurence and tharkay have been together since AGES ago#(maybe when tharkay brought the ferals because he thinks that that was very romantic)#he DEFINITELY thought tharkay was asking him if he could marry laurence and is now very excited to plan a wedding#i'm sorry this got so long this is like a word vomit and a half#at some point it started being less amnesia-related and being more about how willzing's love language is acts of service#this was originally part of the idea of how willzing fits into the king/knight dynamic either way you look at them that i wrote into a fic#(which is still sitting as a wip in my folders. I should finish it...)#i can't remember but at the time there was some other media i inhaled that had an amnesia plot that made me reevaluate laurence's amnesia#and how it would change him as a person and how it would impact his relationship with tharkay#anyway. i hope this finds the temeraire people <3#(was totally inspired to finish this by getting into the server lol)#temeraire#temeraire series#william laurence#tenzing tharkay#willzing#laurence/tharkay#meta
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a joker drawing to christen my new tablet
#first tablet drawing HAD to be the guy occupying all my thoughts ofc#very exciting to be moving away from ibis paint x on my phone lmao#ive picked up krita and seen that you can animate on it#which i am very interested in#so we'll see how that goes i have not done any proper animation ever lmao#justa's art#art#dc joker#the joker#joker#joker fanart
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going through the wiki transcripts and finding out clem and vi support each other even more than i already thought......... god.....
#the reassurances and support................... killing me........#thought the 'this is marlons fault' option was gonna be mean to marlon but its clem reassuring vi that what happened wasnt her fault??#and that vi couldnt have known marlon was lying to her??#vi being kind and understanding about clem holding up tenn and tries to soften the tension between them#RAAAAAAHHH#it speaks#twdg#violentine#had to start a new save to see some of these choices ive never picked In Action and its great so far thank you wiki#having a real [GLASS HIM] moment right now about some of these like wow i did Not think that was what that option meant#new [GLASS HIM] moment: telling vi 'sorry to disappoint' is SARCASTIC??? 'no disappointment here im glad you came back :)'#and clem smiles and 'hah's about it 😭 theyre so cute new fave option there#'what about the others?' 'ohhh well theyre less excited about it'#end of the ep said vi was annoyed by the sarcastic greeting which is very interesting since they were both smiling about it#see what i mean i thought it was gonna be mean sarcastic but it comes off as playful sarcastic but its apparently mean sarcastic
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#some thoughts incoming idk if i should share but i need to put them somewhere#it's hard being in the yr fandom since the finale when you don't share the same vision and opinion as the rest#and people make future wilmon posts or write post s3 fics (which many exist now) they just don't align with your idea at all#and they're not exciting to me at all and the whole concept just makes me upset#i don't wanna imagine Wille as a 'normal' person (not that that's ever possible anyway which the show loves to ignore)#like I'm sorry but i didn't come to the show to watch an ordinary love story and have them lead an ordinary life#the idea of Wille being a future king and them navigating that royal life together is so much more interesting#i hate that that isn't canon anymore and when ppl make posts about them it's not about that or that would only be seen as a negative thing#i don't wanna imagine a life where they are 'normal' that isn't appealing to me at all and it sucks seeing everyone embrace it#and it's like you're not allowed to want something else or think differently bc that makes you the bad person and you're just wrong#i can't be excited about their future (also bc i don't really see them going strong in the future with how they messed them up in s3)#(i also didn't want to know what could possibly happen in the future i wanted that to stay open and just be in the present)#and seeing everyone else excited and happy about it makes you feel horrible and very alone and disconnected in the fandom#i don't wanna take it away from them but i also would love to see other takes but that's basically impossible now#am i the only person who feels this way or are there any other who can relate? pls let me know#i already feel like ppl are gonna attack me for this but it's been hard especially now with Simon's month and seeing so many interpretation#navigating ao3 has also become difficult now#it's hard finding fics to read where wille stays crown prince and you don't have to be scared for that to change#i just can't read any canon compliant fics anymore and i hate it bc i hate to disagree with canon#i normally don't do that bc canon is important to me and i don't want to reject it and create my own fantasy#and that's what's upsetting#anyway sorry i had to write this#personal
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marineford behind the scenes (photo ref)
#one piece#portgas d ace#one piece ace#admiral akainu#one piece sakazuki#literally pure cope after watching marineford#i already read the manga but the anime ripped through me again#i haven't seen other behind-the-scenes one piece fanart...not sure if it's popular in this fandom#but tbh i feel this genre of fanart isn't very common in general#the only one i remember is a bnha behind the scenes interview fanart which was amazingg#but i can't find it for some reason#i thought the red beads were a funny joke btw. don't kill me#akainu is actually really chill irl ok. he knows how to take selfies#my art#anyway. hope this is enjoyed i had fun drawing it (coping so hard)#i have some other sketches marinating and i'm so excited
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Before I forgetttttt
So color thinks Killer is brainwashed, BUT, what if one time when Killer's soul is normal and he can feel and think for himself again, what if they are chilling at Color's place and then Killer gets up and says something like "I have to go home, don't want to worry dad"
What would Color think ? Would he rethink everything because "wait, why did you call him dad ???" Or would he think that damn, this brain washing is even worse than he thought because apparently Nightmare makes them call him dad ?? Which is weird even for Nightmare that could be a manipulation method ??
Okay that's it byyyeee
OH I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THESE GUYS OKAY SO!!!!!
(I'm still new to Color so if I'm wicked super wrong let me know!)
I feel like no matter what Killer said about Nightmare, Color wouldn't believe it. If somebody's been held captive so long they no longer think they want to leave, of course they're going to say they like living there. No matter how much Color cares about him, I think he has to consider Killer an unreliable narrator as far as his own situation is concerned.
But! Color's main concern is giving Killer his autonomy back and helping him learn to make his own choices. This unfortunately means if Killer keeps choosing to go back to Nightmare, Color has to respect it.
I feel like the only way he would begin to slowly unwind and trust that Nightmare had good intentions would be to see it for himself repeatedly. It's going to take more than a few good turns to prove that he isn't just putting on an act when Color is watching and then turning the whip on them again when nobody's looking. That's going to be hard to set up though since neither of them want to be around the other very much lol
I do think a good start for it would be Nightmare giving Killer the choice though. Like, not that they don't get to choose things regularly, but Killer isn't really one to think much about what he wants or come forward with it so Nightmare kind of assumes he's content and doesn't really think to check in with him. So if he actually made a point of asking Killer what he wanted and he said he wanted to spend a day with Color, I think that would be a good start. Obviously Color's not gonna jump to trusting him after one day, but hearing that Nightmare is also giving Killer his own choices and actually respecting them might give him a bit more reason to trust him.
That said, the image of Color's face as he asks "he makes you call him dad??" is sending me lol
#UTDR#Ask#mikimakiboo#Trying so hard to keep it short and not type every thought I have for the next 3 hours lol#Thank you!!! I love thinking about these guys right now so this ask made me really excited :D#But yeah. I have a hc that none of them (at least at the start) are very good at saying if they want something#So Nightmare kind of uses Killer to find out what the others want and report to him with it#And it takes him maybe a but too long to realise he's forgetting Killer himself and ask what *he* would like#And after a long minute of silence Killer says he wants to go to the big timeline and hang out with Color#Which Nightmare absolutely hates the idea of because he could lose one of his boys forever but agrees to for Killer's sake#I think it starting like that would be a good foundation for both of them#Because Color gets to see Nightmare dropping Killer off as he wishes#And Nightmare gets to answer the call from Killer to come pick him up when he's ready to come back#It's going to take a lot more work for both sides to be happy but so help me god we're all gonna be happy in the end in this multiverse#Anyway!! Thank you again for this chance to ramble <3
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