#also those two protags I’ve been juggling

[cuppajj]

I haven’t canonized the complete order in which the ancients corrupted yet, but there’s a high chance now that Lily was first while Vanilla was last

[mautadite]

february book round up

13 books this month. (haha, half of what i read in january, but i knew i wasn’t going to duplicate that, no way.) a pretty mixed bag.

in praise of shadows - junichiro tanizaki ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ a really really interesting non fiction work on japanese versus western aesthetics, the use of shadows and light, darkness and exposure. talks about architecture, art, people, culture, theatre... i enjoyed this a lot.

beneath a scarlet sky - mark sullivan ⭐️⭐️⭐️ a good story, extremely badly told. it’s a novel of italy in wwii, following a young man who falls in love, guides jews to switzerland, becomes a spy... a lot happens. it’s heavily based the true story of pino lella’s life but man the author should have stuck to bare facts (even if there weren’t many) because his writing is... not good. not structurally, or narratively, or just his prose.

the fever king - victoria lee ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ this book gave me the always frustrating horror of showing kids being manipulated by adults and the kids don’t know it but you the reader do know it and it’s AGONY. queer teen scifi in a dystopian future where magic manifests as a sickness and those who overcome it develop powers. the world-building was really really interesting, the writing was tight, the characters were amazing. THEY’RE MY KIDS NOW. really looking forward to the sequel.

yellow crocus - laila benjamin ⭐️⭐️⭐️ another well meaning book, lovingly told, but badly told. a novel about an enslaved black wet nurse and her charge, the white daughter of her master, with whom she develops a deep motherly bond. the novel follows them from lisbeth’s (the child) birth to the birth of her own child.you can tell that a lot of research and care and love went into this book, and it didn’t skeeve me off in the usual ways that books about slavery written by non-black people usually do... but it just wasn’t very well written.

boystown 2 - marshall thornton ⭐️⭐️⭐️ second set of stories about a gay private eye solving mysteries in the 80s. in this instalment, nick juggles things with his sort-of-not-really boyfriend, gets complicated feelings about his ex-boyfriend, and has bunch of sex with a bunch of guys who aren’t either of those men. interesting mysteries once again, though one of them kinda ticked me off.

no two ways - chi yu rodriguez ⭐️⭐️⭐️ contemporary f/f romance about a bi girl who hooks up with a lesbian and starts falling for her pretty quickly... but then finds out she’s a huge biphobe. this was good...? but the leads had almost no chemistry, it took too long for jackie to get an attitude change, and when she did, she got off way too easily.

northanger abbey - jane austen ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ fun stuff, very enjoyable. i really like how austen does humour, and there’s some good stuff in here about sexist microaggressions and the art of novels. and i really liked the hero.

proper english - k.j. charles ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ AHHHHHH. i really like k.j. charles, and i was SO EXCITED when i found out she’d dipped her toes into f/f romance. this was wonderful. a very satisfying mystery, the kind that gives all the right hints and clues and allows the reader to figure it out if they’re paying attention, but introduces just enough doubt that you’re not sure. and the characters! the romance! i loved these two women in their first appearance in ‘think of england’ I LOVED THEM EVEN MORE HERE. pat’s assertiveness, fen’s flirtiness... gah.

perfect rhythm - jae ⭐️⭐️⭐️ contemporary f/f/ romance with an ace protag. very cute, if a bit... idk wooden at times? in the writing, the way asexuality was talked about, some of the delivery of the jokes. it definitely wasn’t bad; the characters were complicated and flawed in real ways, and i feel like their romance progressed very naturally, and it was super fulfilling in the end. it just needed a little something more, writing-wise. also, did not enjoy the way it treated the closeted side character. :/

the gentleman and the rogue - bonnie dee & summer devon ⭐️⭐️ this book made me realise... i don’t think i’ve ever read a fiction book written by two authors that i thoroughly enjoyed? i just don’t gel with most people’s approaches to co-writing. not that that was the only thing wrong with this book. historical m/m romance between a veteran lord and the guttersnipe he hires as his new valet. i don’t like rich/poor romance where the rich person doesn’t buy a clue, i don’t like structural inequality played straight, i don’t like plots that are so thin it seems like the author didn’t want to write one. and the writing itself left much to be desired.

scrap metal - harper fox ⭐️⭐️⭐️ really sweet contemporary m/m romance set on a small scottish island, between a phd student who has suddenly been called back to work on the farm he grew up on, and the mysterious man who shows up on the farm in the middle of the night. i really like harper fox’s writing; she can sometimes have the loveliest way with words. and the romance was super well done. my nitpicks with this book are kinda silly but i had them all the same. it hit some squicks of mine and also i really don’t like when harper fox slips in the paranormal as a side-element int he books. why? i don’t know! but i don’t like it.

switchback - s.w. andersen ⭐️⭐️ i only got this audiobook because i really like nicol zanzarella, the narrator. and i mean it’s lesbian romance featuring a mountain bike rider and a chiropractor? neat right? wrong, it was boring and badly written. alas! man i hate omniscient pov, especially for romance.

mama black widow - iceberg slim ⭐️⭐️⭐️ semi-biographical novel of a black drag queen living in the ghettos of 1960s chicago. follows him from childhood to his prime to his decline, with a heavy focus on his childhood and relationship with his mother and the many tragedies that befell him and this family. heavy focus on race, sexuality, and violence. (don’t go into this without hella warnings.) i enjoyed it, mostly, though i felt that doylist misogyny coming through hard. it was written in the 1960s and it shows lol.

and that’s it for february. i started a new job today and probably won’t have a lot of reading time, but i’ll continue to do as much audiobooking as i can on public transportation. currently doing a reread of the hobbit, which i 100% started as a self comfort thing, and will probably be ready very sparsely throughout the month. going to start a hundred little lies. 

[dragimal]

TROS thoughts? TROS thoughts.

just some thoughts abt TROS and the trilogy as a whole. I don’t actively talk abt SW much so this’ll prolly be p disorganized, but I just wanted to throw some thoughts to the wind lmao. also thanks @cobwebbing for bullying me into watching TROS as quickly as possible and also yelling abt all these jumbled thoughts with/at me

overall I rly liked it! with a lot of criticisms! and I’ll expand under the cut

so, as usual, everything reylo was p spectacular. Rey trading off her light-saber to Kylo? that last bombastic kiss? Kylo fading into a force ghost to presumably reunite w/ his family? the mutual healing of one another-- and in particular, Kylo not only sharing his own life-force, but that which Rey had previously gifted him for the stab wound??? the DRAMA! the ROMANCE!! I was going absolutely (mentally) HOGWILD during those scenes, AAAAA I couldn’t have asked for better! Rey and Kylo are totally gonna have a force-ghost honeymoon and I’m here for it

my one big criticism w/ anything involving them was Palp being Rey’s grandad. Star Wars has always had weird hangups abt bloodlines, so it felt very fresh to see the protag be a whole-ass nobody-- u don’t need to come from some line of force-sensitive heroes/baddies to be somebody! ANYBODY can be somebody if they choose to be! yeah, she technically still renounced her “evil blood” to be a good person, but it felt a lot cheaper than just letting her be a nobody that chooses that path. I feel like there’s a nugget of good to be found in her adopting the Skywalker name at the end (y’all know I’m a sucker for adopted family~), but compounded w/ all the other hangups w/ bloodlines, it kinda felt like another affirmation that only Skywalkers can ever be the big important heroes or something, idk

that all said, I don’t hate Palp’s existence in TROS, I just don’t want him related to Rey in any way. tho his existence was still a bit awkward at parts (Snoke was a clone? who were all those cultists in the stands around the throne? how did he even survive the first trilogy?? hello???). but overall I rly liked the idea that the reason Sith kill their masters is for some reincarnation-death ceremony. when u hold that against the fresh new cast of heroes in this trilogy, you get this theme of, “evil ideals are always the same-- stagnant and unchanging. good must evolve and grow to combat it.” if that makes sense? I just rly like that implication

it was weird how easily Kylo seemed to drop any connection to Vader? like when Rey knocked Vader’s mask on the ground, I thought Kylo would either feel angry that she almost destroyed it, or betrayed by the reminder that he was never rly talking to Vader anyways, or SOMETHING, but he kinda just left it there in the snow? it was just strange, after all the build-up

now aside from anything involving Rey and Kylo, everything else was..... well, it was abt as I expected. which wasn’t good, coming off the heels of TLJ’s treatment of anyone that wasn’t Rey, Kylo, or Luke. while JJ and Rian do a fantastic job w/ reylo stuff, they seem to just let everything else fall to the wayside, which is unfortunate in a lot of ways

for one, Finn is one of my favorite characters in SW as a whole, and it’s heartbreaking to see his character arcs fall apart before they even start (post-TFA). he has so much depth and potential-- enough to even be the main protag, as some have pointed out. while I don’t agree that he’s a better foil to Kylo (and that’s not just my reylo bias, like they rly don’t have the same personality chemistry or thematic conflicts imo), I could totally see a SW trilogy centered around him instead (tho idk if I’d be able to properly doctor the script to THAT degree on my own... 🤔...)

either way, Finn’s potential was rly squandered the last two movies, and I’d love to see that rectified. I’ve always been disappointed that Finn immediately went to shooting other stormtroopers in TFA w/o any hint of hesitation, so I’d ideally like to give him some conflicted feelings during TFA to start off with. then, I’ve always thought his plot in TLJ should’ve been focused completely on stormtroopers-- no casino, no fox-horse racing or anything. he and Rose would IMMEDIATELY sneak onto the FO ship from the beginning of the movie as undercover stormtroopers, gathering info for the Resistance and trying to shut down the FO’s tracking tech, while also feeling out the thoughts of fellow stormtroopers. maybe some troopers would be gung-ho abt the FO, while others would like to rebel but are too scared, while others still had never considered the option of rebellion until Finn planted just a little seed for them. however, by the end of TLJ, his efforts might’ve *seemed* useless, like the FO might’ve killed off any defecting stormtroopers. then we’d hit TROS, and Finn might be a bit colder, and bit more willing to kill stormtroopers, b/c even if he could convert them, he wouldn’t be able to protect them, so he might as well end it as quickly as possible. but THEN he’d meet the former stormtroopers-- not just strangers this time, but some of the troopers he’d met while on the FO ship in the previous movie! they’d escaped, and his efforts weren’t for naught! his actions still mattered, and continue to matter as everyone moves forward!

also, can I just say, fucking weird that Finn’s suddenly force-sensitive?? I’m not necessarily against him being force-sensitive, but I’m attached to the idea of an important character that doesn’t have any significant connection to the force-- he was just a talented dude! but even then, I think I’d be more open to it if not for how it was introduced. apparently, the only reason he (or any stormtrooper, as far as we know) defected is b/c the force told them to. no personal decisions based on morals or logic or even basal fear, just some “force-instinct”. that’s just.... so insulting to his character and the potential for stormtroopers, I’m reeling lmfao

Poe is an interesting case for me b/c I don’t feel any particular way abt him. like, he’s fine? but I care far more abt reylo and Finn than I do Poe, so I haven’t put as much thought into how I’d change his arcs, BUT I do have a few ideas. since I’d nix Finn’s casino trip in TLJ, I’d have Poe kinda take the helm of that-- rather than a slow crawl thru space on low fuel, the Resistance’s problem would be their space-jumping tech (+ the FO tracking them of course), so they’d have plenty of fuel to jump, but for some reason they’d have to recharge or re-fix something after each jump? so it’s more like a lil space roadtrip for Poe’s plot, where he’s jumping the Resistance to different planets, hiding their ships somewhere before the FO catches on, and waiting until the can jump again to the next hiding spot. all the while, Poe’s keeping in touch w/ Finn, trying to keep the FO off their tails for just a little bit longer, or gathering info on their plans. I rly liked Poe’s TLJ arc of, “sacrificing a few for the cause is actually kinda shitty,” so I’d like to keep that, like maybe he makes a few risky decisions while running? and then later, when Finn tries to sacrifice himself to the FO’s canon (in this case b/c he thinks his efforts w/ the stormtroopers didn’t work, so maybe he can do just this one thing--), Poe’s like Oh Fuck No and smacks him outta the sky. so Poe has this moment like, “wow, perhaps I’m not as ok w/ all this sacrifice as I thought? also I might have a crush?😳” and then in TROS he’s coming to terms w/ his crush on Finn (and Zorii’s like, *nudges* “OH-HO??~”), but Finn’s still a bit broken up over how everything w/ the stormtroopers turned out in TLJ, so he’s been difficult to connect to. then when Finn meets the former stormtroopers, he gains back some of that confidence in connecting to others, and he finally *sees* Poe for the first time in a while and it’s all romantic and junk heheh

tbh I don’t actually feel particularly strongly abt finnpoe as a pairing, BUT I rly like the potential it has for Finn and Poe’s respective character arcs, and especially how it could so lovingly tie into TROS’ theme of, “we are only as strong as we are together, and together we can beat this.” unfortunately, that theme in and of itself is also kinda awkward coming on the heels of TLJ, where the Resistance was abandoned by the galaxy when there was only a small fleet of FO forces to deal with, yet the galaxy comes to aid when there’s a fuckin billion FO ships w/ PLANET-DESTROYING TECH on-board each?? I know the 2nd movie’s supposed to be a low point, but the huge turn-around in TROS just doesn’t make a whole lotta sense to me, and I don’t know how to fix that one lmao

Rose is.... a difficult one. I rly want to like her b/c I love Kelly and she has cute moments, but TLJ already didn’t give her a lot to work with, and she had insultingly little to do in TROS. I think that perhaps she’d work well as Poe’s thematic foil in TLJ? Rose’s sister was one of the ones sacrificed under Poe’s direction, so she prolly wouldn’t be too pleased w/ that, and would bring up counterpoints to Poe’s risky maneuvers w/ the Resistance whenever they check in w/ him. then when Poe goes to rescue Finn from the canon, Rose’s words are what play thru his head. for TROS, I’d gladly replace C3PO or Chewie (or both) w/ her, lmao. I can’t necessarily think of an arc for her, but TROS was already juggling so many anyways, I think it would’ve been fine for her to maybe be a lynch-pin for the squad-- someone trying to hold everyone together through these dire circumstances, but everything starts to fall apart... until some significant moment where she helps pull everyone back together, thus completing the theme of the film. also I would’ve felt FAR more distressed if it was Rose that was supposedly on the destroyed transport ship (tho that scene was already kinda stupid like... why couldn’t Rey sense that Chewie wasn’t on there... hm..)

the Hux betrayal was obvious even from as far back as TFA, but it was weird he was replaced by a nobody we never met before and don’t care abt lmfao. I mean I don’t rly care for Hux at all, but I care even less for this stranger who has no personality lmfao