#which is a joke I am proud of

[ladylingua]

the absolute best thing I did for the holidays this year was steal that joke dessert idea of making white chocolate covered pretzels look like cigarettes and surreptitiously serve them at the full family party

As soon as my brother saw them he began handing them out to the kids. I watched my sister-in-law teach her teenaged daughter how to correctly hold a joint using the pretzel. I watched as my teenaged nieces all started snapping selfies of themselves fake smoking the pretzel, then saw that behind them my elderly uncle and aunts were all doing the exact same thing with their own pretzels.

For one beautiful moment, every generation of my family was briefly united in pure joy. Peace on earth, and goodwill for all mankind was had in this house on this day 🎄

[shannonsketches]

He said "Fuck this shit, I'm out" I'm crying. Toriyama's Vegeta was so top shelf 🤌

(From Neko Majin Z Chapter 5!)

[flufflecat]

Got to stolen century in my relisten and started tearing up at work because of magnus carving the duck. Just me in the back room, crying over the dish sink for normal reasons.

[sammaggs]

I was talking to @syrupmap about the Wall of Canadians that our big bookstore chain has in a bunch of its locations, like this

You know, the wall where they put all the Canadians

And because the bar is inexplicably (fortunately, gratefully, kindly) in hell, they put me on the wall. Canadian!

But today Syrup noticed THE PROXIMITY:

Is there any higher honour for this blog lol. No. Simply cannot be. Blessed by the Indigo lords.

That’s Vancouver, but I do share a wall with other Dad in Toronto:

Anyways we out here 🇨🇦🤘🏼🍁

[stardestroyer81]

Nearly four years ago, long before you could find them just about anywhere, I found a post praising the plague doctor Squishmallow, jokingly calling it 'bingus'. Jokingly— and as a byproduct of being in my plague doctor phase at the time— I quipped that if I ever wound up finding one, I would name it Dr. B. Ingus.

Fast forward to 2024, and not only does the real Dr. B. Ingus now reside on my bed, I've also finally concocted an original design for the brilliant plague doctor turned plushie, largely in part of being invited to a plague doctor community on tumblr! 💜🖤💜

(If you would like to read a brief explanation on how Quincy T. Page's mentor now assumes a plush form, check underneath the cut for a bit of lore!)

Dr. Brenius Hildegard Ingus, better known as 'Doctor B. Ingus' or even simply 'Dr. B.' was once a standard plague doctor... for lack of a better term. Ever since his youth, he knew he wished to pursue a career in tending to patients, and he would make good on this dream once our nation found itself plagued with a contagion most potent... the Everdark Plague.

Brenius spent every waking moment of his corporeal life formulating a cure, though as the years went on, he feared that old age would put an end to his research, effectively doing away with everything he had done to rid of the Everdark Plague. However, Brenius— ever steadfast— made a vow that not even death could stop his heroic efforts.

Somehow, a deal is made, and Brenius' soul is set free from his mortal vessel, allowing him all the time in the world to continue his studies... at the hefty cost of immortality. Ever selfless, he hires a local toy maker to create a new vessel to store his restless soul in; a charming plush toy designed in his likeness. While it takes a while to get used to his new form, Brenius resumes his studies in secrecy as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened, now vowing to only speak to plague doctors he trusts with his studies.

Personality-wise, Dr. Brenius is a very well-spoken, considerable and sophisticated man in spite of his now-smaller stature. In his past life, he was quite the fashion aficionado, and collected headgear of all kinds to top off his outfit, his current hat he immortalized himself with being his favorite.

[just-puddding]

Happy birthday to the only guy ever!!!

I know that in most places the first slice goes to the person whose birthday it is but, consider: this is very funny to me

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

you know how ive told you guys that people think im homophobic when i make gay jokes because they cant tell im a lesbian? well, maybe you dont, but it happened again and idk what to do. i made a joke that from a straight woman, would sound homophobic, and i made it in a gc with my two best friends and their other friend. we’re all gay, and the other friend knows i’m a lesbian- after i made the joke i literally clarified. but he got mad and kicked me out of the gc and i can’t join again and i’m literally so confused because i keep getting accused of being homophobic… i literally love women, i have a girlfriend

[peppermintquartz]

I need Samoa Joe to return asap I am becoming obsessed with Lou Ferrigno Jr as a person and I think it's approaching unhealthy levels

[coyoxxtl]

i promise you most of the people who are vocal about how sick and pissed off at the democratic party they are, Are still voting. and the ones that made the personal choice not to? they have that right. and if you don’t empathize with that choice then idk what to tell you

[astrxealis]

hi guys please wish me luck for my college entrance exam tomorrow for one of my dream schools xoxo

[giantkillerjack]

Ya know. I spent most of my life with horrible painful soul-crushing social anxiety.

And after about 25 years of continuous hard work, suddenly, people started pointing out - to my utter bafflement - that I had, in fact, achieved my lifelong dream of being charismatic. I'm 29 now; I feel comfortable in most social situations, and it is a very rare person whom I cannot make laugh.

I am, undoubtedly, finally, charismatic.

But do you know what I found?

I found that now that I have an understanding of which social rules serve which functions -- Now that I have an understanding of just how much damage my awkwardness was doing to people, well,

I found that, actually, my awkwardness never really hurt anyone at all. People were just judgmental dicks to me about it.

Now that I have the skill-level to (most of the time) creatively vocalize what is in my head as soon as I think it and without fear, I can confirm once and for all what I had always suspected:

I was worth talking to when I was quiet.

I was worth talking to when I was awkward, and when the words in my head took time and patience to hear, and when most of my jokes didn't land. I was worth talking to the whole time.

So I just... I hope that if you've ever wondered whether you are worth communicating with, the answer is yes. Absolutely yes. Each of us has a soul worth sharing - and if you and I were talking, I would happily wait for you to speak (or communicate in other ways) without condescending, and I would never shame you for that harmless awkwardness that so many people feel the need to violently stomp out.

You are worth talking to. You just are. And you deserve people who will speak to you with kindness, with patience, and with the basic immutable respect owed to all people.

(I talk about this with some frequency, both on tumblr and in real life. At some point, maybe I'll gather all my thoughts on the matter into one post. At some point, I wrote about my personal experience trying to build my social skill. But I felt the need to say at least a little bit tonight after seeing this other lovely post, and I'm glad I did. It will happen again.)

[elinaline]

Having power users mutuals who only reblog my cool, informative or positive posts means that there's probably some people around here that might somewhat recognize my url but associate it with a persona that's about 1000 times cooler than I actually am.

[theyhitthepentagon]

DIVERSITY LOSE: the only way to heal my irony poisoning is by playing roblox

[nfnfnfnfndnfkfjfndksjsndnxjsojsn]

i feel like more people need to realize we are all share the same sky and none of us are truly ever alone

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

Motherfucker he's a vocaloid he has no canon /lhj to be fair to him it's probably easier to cry in a shower than in the rain unless you know your alone so cdcbbcfv ripping your own heart out is not generally something you do in a public space -🌟 (Your OCS are really pretty!!!)

AHKJDSNGNA

I KNOW i was referring more to. uh??? the story scenario whatever bs thing i put him in (that explains the bad luck in relationships) but akjhjkhkjsdgkjahg

ripping your heart out is NOT proper manners 😤

(AND SOBS THANKS???)

[devotedlystrangewizard]

Well now I absolutely have to know what character you were wrong about

the good old days of almost 6 months ago when this was still kind of a joke <333