#which is a big ass project
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*clutching head* rodya and meursault would have such a good dynamic actually
I wonder if rodya would initially see meursault's indifference as like. a simpler version of her own feigned carefreeness and as a deliberate attempt to place himself as an outsider... only to realise that No, he really Is just Like That. and then she gets annoyed because it turns out that people who don't care about anything don't seem to be any fun.
(ofc he does actually care about a lot of things, just not necessarily his grander place in the world lol)
idk. nihilism vs absurdism. fun duo 👍 rodya would find meursault's genuine comfort with being a speck of dust in the universe baffling, while he would probably find her desire to assert her own importance pointless, but they could probably bond over little things like their shared desire to live in the present and appreciation of/indulgence in earthly joys. and meursault would probably listen if rodya wants to rant about anything without asking any uncomfortable questions. I think they could appreciate each other's presence.
#slamming my conspiracy board#listen it's not my fault meursault vibes with literally the entire female cast#rodya enjoyers help me out here please I haven't read crime and punishment am I talking out of my ass#I just think it'd be kind of interesting if like. rodya kills someone for a very specific reason (to assert herself as special)#while meursault kills someone for seemingly no good reason#but because of time place circumstance etc#meursault is the one made out to be the outsider to society#while rodya goes unacknowledged and all her motives backfire#like I'm not saying that meursault has Exactly what rodya wants or anything#but I think he Does possess a level of guiltlessness that she was trying to achieve through her self-confidence#also I find it interesting how pride is like. a big thing for both of them#like they both have excessive belief in themselves and their own abilities. in rodya it manifests as self-confidence or I guess. an ego#while in meursault it's more about. a belief in his own interpretation of the world rather than himself as a person? I hope that makes sens#also they both reject collectivist ideas which is. fun#neither of them perform to what a society would expect from them but for rodya it's an active effort to assert her individuality#while meursault just Doesn't Get societal conventions from the get-go unless they're explained to him#I think they also both tend to project a lot 💀 meursault expects his own indifference from others while rodya projects her own#experiences onto others' and makes assumptions based on that before knowing the full details#txt#limbus company#I feel too embarrassed to add more specific tags ngl 💀 💀 💀#lcb meursault#lcb rodion#lcb rodya#nvm. feelings of cringe are for Losers I am Strong
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while i’m in an atla mood my big twenty-year-old shipping hot take is that zvtara would not nearly be as popular as it is now if zuko was the bald one and aang was the one with emo hair 🙈
#i wish more women would admit they projected hard into katara and want her to pick zuko because they would have picked zuko#instead of the whole ‘katara was a mother to aang’ which is so blatantly untrue not only did aang view her as another kid like him#but he was raised communally he has never been in need of a mother figure that’s not something missing from his life#these ppl misread every character in the show istg lmao Especially katara#anyways i’ve never been a zvtara bc i believe that boy is gay and also katara’s big round ass 14 year old head looks so goofy next to his#like not only is the age gap gross but it Looks wrong. she looks too young !!#anyways. yeah i think that kataang was handled weirdly in the show but the big big reason lots of ppl dislike it is because#aang wasn’t attractive to them as a kid. like i truly believe is it that shallow 🙏#anyways.txt#delete later
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Loki deserves to have an active role in the multiversal war. He deserves to fight alongside the Avengers. He deserves to save the day, he deserves to use his new time powers against a big bad, he-
#listen I’ve heard people saying loki is way too OP now to be in anymore battle scenes#but LISTEN#he’s only omniscient and omnipotent while he’s holding the branches#if he leaves his throne yeah he’ll still be able to timeslip and freeze time and do telekinesis and stuff#but he won’t be so overpowered that he can’t still be realistically used in a fight scene#it’s just that the fight needs to be against someone who is also super powerful#I need a scene of kang realising that to take control of the multiverse he has to dethrone loki#so he shows up to where the citadel used to be with an army or a badass weapon or smth#and we get a loki v kang 1v1 fight scene in which loki kicks his ass#but then afterwards he realises that more trouble is brewing so the multiversal avengers have to be assembled#and he’s just like a Nick fury type person appearing via astral projections and stuff for most of the movie/saga/whatever#but then at then end when the big battle is going on and the avengers are losing#he has to get up and actually come to the battlefield to handle shit himself#like a deus ex machina#and then afterwards he goes back to the TVA and lives happily ever after the end#loki series#loki meta#loki finale spoilers#avengers kang dynasty#avengers secret wars
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Finished at last! (Who cheered?) It only took me about… 2 months…. But as mentioned in the wip post for this, its a little something that I did for a aitsf au that I’m working on (slowly but surely) but workflow for fics is incredibly slow rn so I don’t know when the next chapter will be. I think I prefer the sketches more compared to the final version but I don’t know why exactly
#gundam 00#neil dylandy#lockon stratos#haro#digital art#fan art#my art#I started this on my phone and then finished it up on my iPad… I’m still not used to it but I’m getting there#college was kicking my ass for two months straight because of a big collab project and I still haven’t recovered#which is why it took me two months to get around to finishing as it started collecting dust in my pile of endless wips#I should just say that Neil is a top favourite at this rate because I draw him too much…!!#I wanna say that im exaggerating on this but im not!!! I have so many sketches in my personal sketchbook its not even funny anymore
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unpopular opinion i think but i’m sad they didn’t stick with the cold, calculating, but calm wesker. it honestly just doesn’t fit him seeing him get impulsively angry at shit he wouldn’t have gotten angry at in re4 or uc
like he’s this character who has really deep lore and trauma, who has seen the worst of the worst, does bad shit, but is also calm and quick to think of solutions when things go wrong
in his newer iterations it just feels like that part of him is gone? like he just kinda gets angry (ahem re5) and we never really see his quick thinking. it almost feels like he’s so dedicating to his plan he doesn’t want to think of other options and it feels like he doesn’t. sure, you could argue that he’s a lil more crazy in re5, but 3 years ago that fucker didn’t beat around spencer despite him using him his entire life. but all of a sudden when it comes to uroboros he wants to get all cocky and just let his guards do all the work which clearly doesn’t work.
if this were like.. any other wesker iteration he would’ve thought to maybe.. i don’t know, do something smarter instead of letting all his soldiers die? wesker took down an entire umbrella base in russia by himself to get all of umbrella’s files but all of a sudden he’s too lazy to kill 2 people who he could impale in a second when they clearly threaten his plans? is he stupid? yeah probably lol
bring back smart wesker i’m tired of him being stupid aka typical comic villain in re5 :[
#i also don’t like him in cv i’m sorry#funny as hell lines but why is wesker smart only when the devs want him to be#i’m just biased i just uc wesker LMAO#i hate that you can argue pretty much anything too#big ego (which he has in uc but still beats ass while being a little bitch)#crazy (fair but back to what i said abt spencer. perhaps that was his downfall but it should really be made clearer)#plot armor (well yes)#me just having an extreme bias toward uc wesker (yes)#wesker not knowing abt project w in his younger years (also yeah but they do not make this shit clear whether it affects him)#(they do it for other characters why can’t they do it for wesker?)#(yeah he’s obviously affected but we don’t even know how much it affects him so it’s hard to even tell if most of his decisions are based-#off that or if it’s just plot armor)#probably plot armor yeah yeah#i just like to complain cause i miss old wesker he was so pookie#i like all the weskers i just wish re5 wesker was somewhat smart
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I think she would collect the minions McDonald’s toys
#hellsing#hellsing ultimate#seras victoria#integra hellsing#pip bernadotte#a#ofc she would like the found family trope 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄#thank you cocolacola for inspiring this train of thought ❤️❤️❤️❤️🐟❤️🐟#fun fact! my dad collected those minions McDonald’s toys no clue why but he was a big minions guy#I think his peak in life was watching the minions sing I Swear in dispicable me 2 in theaters. good for him yknow?#need to draw minion or da Bob seras for REALSIES but alas i am forced to work and be productive 💔💔💔💔💔💥💔💔💥💔#need to make minions memes Now I have to fucking sprint with this. French posting fish posting Homo posting they can fucking wait#kinda fucked up they scheduled me to register for classes in the middle of one of my classes#granted it doesn’t matter shit exploded the fan and a strike’s going on so I don’t have that class but it’s the Principle#they want to see me fail they are praying soooo hard for my downfall 💥🔥🦭💥🔥🔥🐟🛬🇫🇷🇫🇷#I mean okay they didn’t it went like incredibly smooth which was nice but they hate me they’re my enemy I am stronger and better than them#scheduling this so it leaves when I’m being held at gunpoint to do a group project. now those are legitimately people wanting me to fail#I’m sorry but they’re so unpredictable and ass the pros of them are so severely outweighed by the cons it’s binks
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Sorry to bother with my maple tree questions (again), but I was just wondering what books you’d recommend for me to become more familiar with England’s tree ecology? 👀 i… I feel rather silly having to look up “do maple trees / apple trees / insert plant life here exist in northern England” every time I want to talk about the spring flowers :;
But also if I don’t describe the native plant life changing then what am I to write about in the heavy silence that follows awkward questions I just gotta talk about the whirlybird seeds falling a hair too early for the season or I’ll turn into a puddle
A really good intro to the types of flora you'll see in England can be found by visiting Woodlandtrust.org.uk! They do education on woodlands specifically, so I use them a lot when I'm writing about ThunderClan territory.
From there, I take a tree they're talking about and try to read more about it, then use iNaturalist to confirm if it's in my modeled region. There are also times I work backwards, using iNaturalist to browse the sorts of trees and flowers that exist here and learning more about how they got there, and if the cats would have it in their territory.
For the non-woodland biomes, I find Wildlifetrusts.org helpful sometimes. Sadly though, this site is not nearly as well managed as Woodland Trust and there's some dead links, so I find that researching rivers, moorland, and bogs is harder.
I think I've got forest ecology research down to a good science, but the other biomes, I have to tap into my search engine skills. It's probably a symptom of how non-forest biomes kinda tend to get neglected by casual conservationists. LOVE YOUR LOCAL WETLAND, GOD DAMN IT
#The sheer neglect of wetland is why I committed to the big ShadowClan change early on#Which was letting them flood the Lake forest#And deciding on one of the Po3 episodes being a bog project#Pine forests are ASS in England and I'm feeding my inner goblin by letting them destroy the damn thing#the bog. it destroyed its cage. yes. YES#THE BOG IS OUT#for the record I model Delamere's developing quaking bog for shadowclan specifically#A couple years ago they undid some victorian fuckery and reflooded an area of Delamere forest#So it's a good model for what a bog looks like as it re-boggens#bones give advice#It catches me off guard every time I re-visit Canon and they're talking about pine forest lmao#Girl you are living in a plantation. girl there is not enough prey there. girl your ecosystem did not evolve along this species of tree
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#adhd paralysis has been kicking my ASS for a couple months with some VERY big art projects#and now i get a ball of anxiety in my chest everytime i think about it now :D#jeep.jeep#like bro i got stickers i gotta make for friends irl#character interactions#comics for asks#AND A WHOLE ASS CHARACTER SHEET FOR DND I GOTTA MAKE#WHICH IM GONNA HAVE TO ASK MY DM FOR HELP WITH#like bro its late at this point id feel embarrised#ughdhedbhjbhjcbhhec#talon.scribbles#i am ashamed😔😔
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Once again dealing with my nemesis, pattern drafting ><
#quill's bjd adventures#if i did it more often i would find it easier and possibly less of a nuisance#buuuuut I don't#I'm also trying to accommodate wanting to make this shirt for faolan intentionally oversized#and more historical-fantasy and initially was trying to use the medieval style#big ass rectangle with a neckhole cut out and smaller rectangles for sleeves to avoid having a shoulder seam#but if I want to be able to make the shoulders look wider than they actually are#then i need to be able to sneakily add interfacing of some kind there but not at the neckline per se#so a shoulder seam makes sense#but that also means inset sleeves#which are also better for reducing bulk but are a decidedly modern style#and thus not as fantasy lookong as i might have wanted#which is silly because Vanora wears a halter crop top which is also very modern xD#my brain makes dumb arbitrary rules sometimes that makes projects harder than they have to be
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#after hitting writer's block with the fic for a week we will take 680 words#writing these scenes feels like such a slog. im like 'do i even need these' and then i read them back and theyre enjoyable#so that's where that's at.#i just need to finish this scene#then i got a montage of scenes#then there's the Big Scene™#and then the conclusion#baby steps#miscellaneous#anyway carted my ass to a panera to get some AC which was needed#today has been extremely lazy but i'll blame the heat#gonna go home. do some cleaning. then youtube and some artsy projects
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i keep trying to read about how the net works in the cyberpunk world and how it's different from the real internet because a lot of my fics are very heavily focused on that aspect of the setting, and i can't tell if this doesn't make sense because i don't know enough about how the internet works in the first place or just because sci fi never truly makes perfect sense since it's ultimately fictional
#see it matters which one because the first one can be fixed with research and the second one can't#i found this mike pondsmith post on reddit where he says that he wrote a “big ass theoretical paper with diagrams and everything”#about how the cyberpunk net works that he wrote while he was working at microsoft#and he said he might release it someday but apparently he hasn't yet and the post is dated two years ago#so idk if he still has that in the pipeline#he well might cause it sounds like a big project and not necessarily something to prioritize#so it might just be something that will take a while#i'd love to read that tho#tho honestly i have pdfs of all the cyberpunk ttrpg books and haven't even read all of those yet#i prioritize my pdfs of the world of darkness books anyway to be fair#especially mage#mage is the best ttrpg setting of all time#and now i've gone completely off on a tangent anyway goodnight send post
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i usually just post about reassassination and ultimate excalibur alongside less developed stories/universes but brother i have a LOT of stuff that i either hardly talk about or never talk about at all publicly ,,, mostly because they don't have any character designs done yet 💀
#like let me dump a few of the ideas that will probably never actually become real here:#1. story about two vampire hunter girls and one goes missing and the other has to go find her and fights various vampires along the way#(i actually did finish a few designs for this but scrapped it and now a lot of the plot aspects are in reassassination#such as a coven of 7 vampires based on the deadly sins - now the 7 assassins of the clear crucifix organisation in RAA)#2. darkstalkers-ish fighting game that i was really convinced i could make once i learned how to code -#- where the guardians of love and heartbreak fight to prove which love is real#there were multiple characters planned - puppy love which was like a cute girl with a big ass scary fuckin hellhound#sweetheart love who was a chocolate themed magical girl (her gimmick being that she could transform and her fighting style would change)#fake love who was like a scam love doctor old lady called dr.diva#pure lust who was a super tall vampire guy etc etc the list goes on#i kinda want to go through with that one. one problem! i cannot code fighting games#and the one that was pretty well developed - metallic miracle which had a pretty complicated story#basically the world is being attacked by alien creatures that can only be killed by children (never decided why tho)#so the fucked up government takes a bunch of 5-8 year olds and put them into comas and then turns them into cyborgs#to go on suicide missions to kill these aliens. mira's mother is the scientist who created the technology that can send them into comas#and keep their bodies moving n shit and she takes mira onto a different planet to try and save her but theyre found after a while#mira's mother is killed and mira is drafted in the kids v aliens war BUT she is immune to the coma technology#she fights fully aware of what is going on for around a year? and eventually the aliens are driven out and mira is super traumatised#and is one of the only survivors of this 'greater good project' - so they put her in a coma that actually works this time#and send her in a space capsule for years to give her some peace (didnt develop why shes in the space capsule)#anyway 50 years later mira is woken up and taken back to her home planet to help these other guys against smaller-scale threats#and the whole thing is about mira recovering from what happened to her learning to trust others and stuff#looking back the story is kinda edgy n doesnt really make sense and stuff but i think it could be interesting idk#is this oc rambling if its only in the tags?#whatever#oc rambling
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How do you afford living in Manhattan?
I don’t.
#old ass ask#but I finally wanted to answer it#asks#anon#serious answer in tags#nyc is just everyone working themself to death#it pays higher amounts but $20 in nyc is worth a lot less than $20 in say connecticut#i wake up 7-8 get home 23-00 and go to sleep at like 1-2#my hours arent that crazy unless i have OT but im paid less than people who work in finance or tech#which is most of nyc#i have a friend in finance and she makes slightly more#she has to wake up 4-5 and often goes to bed 1-2#but she’s projected to make a lot more than i am because she works for a major finance company#my [redacted] is in big tech so it pays very well and he’s fairly high up#but he stays at the office until midnight p frequently#and he has weeks where he’s on call almost the entire time#but he makes like 6x what im projected to make in a year from now#so it’s a very specific lifestyle is my point#live fast die young work hard play hard#also i dont live in manhattan#i cant justify manhattan rent currently#so i commute hence me doxxing myself and asking someone to come home with me from GC#i got harassed on the train that night lmfao#but the friend and [redacted] live in manhattan#so yes that’s the actual answer#as my parents say: your 20s are for slaving away at work#rough translation *
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ignore me I’m still pissed abt the ai thing
#it’s just such an incredible level of cognitive dissonance#like the postdoc I mentioned is a really sweet guy!! he’s great!! he’s studying the effects of climate change on birds#he’s been working with me for most of my project. my project is basically entirely coding bc data analysis#most of his work is also data analysis! which is why he’s helping me out. he’s deeply‚ intimately aware of the effects of the climate crisis#we’ve been intermittently having the discussion abt chatgtp and code over the past few months and he knows everything i say.#when I brought it up the first time he just kinda groaned and he treats it like a gotcha every time I say I’m struggling w some coding thing#ages ago I made some comment abt a coding solution I’d written being inefficient and was frustrated by it#(efficiency is important when you’re dealing w big datasets and especially when your laptop sucks ASS and I knew there was a better way)#and I think he took it a little personally and thinks I try too hard#like yes that might objectively be true but I’m trying to make my stuff repeatable and easy to use so I don’t have to rewrite this later >:(#ANYWAY. why do we value convenience above all else.#i understand the impulse a little too well and I think I’m going to start doing more inconvenient things bc god this can’t keep going#it will go on anyway but it will go on without me#I wanted to shout abt how it’s so pervasive and how people who I’d consider more involved than me are just shamelessly bought in#but I think I’ve burnt that out now. I’m just tired#thinking abt some creators I’ve been following for a long time now talked abt their shifting worldview and how idealistic they used to be#who yesterday said they think this world is beyond saving. but are doing it for the people around them. that is two statements joined#together second part is an earlier thing they said talking abt this and obviously I don’t know them and am extrapolating a worldview but#idk! I am not willing to say that. I have to believe people are good and things can get better. and maybe those are two different things#and I’m gonna have to reevaluate this. probably soon. and I’m probably due another crisis about this soon enough bc I truly don’t know shit#while there exist people in the world who don’t suck that is proof enough that it doesn’t have to be like this. maybe it’s not enough!#maybe we’ll get there. it’s not over til it’s over#luke.txt
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i want to make different choices in veilguard since this is most likely my last playthrough but i simply cannot bring myself to save minrathous over treviso. i feel like every character ive played (barring the de riva who would save treviso for selfish reasons) would be like doesn’t minrathous have some of the most powerful mages in the world defending it…
like i want to experience the content i know you miss out on when you save treviso but it’s such an unbalanced choice for me it’s so hard to do it 😭
#ive never played as a shadow dragon which is the only reason i could see any of my characters doing it#which of course. im a whole ass person projecting onto pixels so. Probably just me being biased#but minrathous is home to so many powerful magisters. why does rook + two other randos showing up make that big of a difference!!!#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#rambling
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i just put together my year in review art summary for the year and its interesting because compared to last year i think my technical skills improved but it feels a little bittersweet overall because as soon as i got my job all of that ambition just vanished LOL
#txt#tbd#not to say i dont still want to draw and create stuff--i still love drawing and ive been expanding into multimedia a lot this year#but more like..#last year every month just about had some big like full illustration that i felt very proud of#sometimes more than one alongside other art!#and this year started with some of those (tho i feel like ive been in and out of art block for kind of a while now)#but as soon as september hit i literally like. i was finishing ref sheets and then its like#lineart only headshot . lineart only drawing with pink laid under it . and those are the most finished things i have for a month#and i like those drawings! and for some people that IS a finished piece which im trying to work towards in my head#i just know I LIKE making full illustrations with nice colors and a background and character interactions#and i have ideas for them but im just so worn out from working. and im barely even part time#and im not working an art job thats draining my creativity or anything. i wonder if an art job would help or if id just#be doubly burned out#i hope maybe i can adapt to work again or maybe theyll give me health insurance and i can talk to a doctor#about my energy issues. idk. cuz if i cant even work part time and keep drawing then its fucking over for me mentally haha#i do draw sometimes but im much slower. and i have to give myself the grace of knowing like#my ass is chipping away at several larger projects during that time that arent visible on my review cuz theyre not done het#yet*#but that doesnt mean i was doing nothing. and even if i was i should know thats fine#like fuck i made my own nendos this year !! im sewing plushes! i just painted a flower pot! im making animations and studying code!#and even then again i like the art i made this year i just want More of it#realistically i have a lot of free time but its hard because i work best starting At the hour i have to be asleep for work#so my peak productive hours im sleeping. :(#except on days off ig but even then its complicated
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