#there were multiple characters planned - puppy love which was like a cute girl with a big ass scary fuckin hellhound

[starrysharks]

i usually just post about reassassination and ultimate excalibur alongside less developed stories/universes but brother i have a LOT of stuff that i either hardly talk about or never talk about at all publicly ,,, mostly because they don't have any character designs done yet 💀

[goji-pilled]

Okay @princekirijo you want an essay? Well here it is now, or as I like to call it Felix's "Asumari is great and this fandom has no fucking taste" rambling and infodump. Congrats fellas, thanks to Prince you ALL get an asumari essay. But before that I'll try to give you a rundown of Mari and Asuka. 

(I'm also so sorry for putting this long ass post on everyone's dashboard)

(Spoiler warning for Evangelion 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time!!)

Alright on one hand we have Mari Illustrious Makinami. Her whole deal? She's a walking ray of sunshine, literally lol. Unlike any other character in the Evangelion franchise she doesn't suffer from her trauma, she's quite literally the only healthy and functioning human being, she's just slightly leaning towards "batshit crazy" with the stunts she pulls 🤷‍♂️. Other than that she just loves living, she loves being with people, she keeps moving forward, stays positive and decides to live life to it's fullest even after she experiences loss and multiple apocalyptic events (Second Impact, Third Impact, etc.) and she really just embodies the joy of living. That's all there is to her, or at least all we know.

On the other hand, we have Asuka Langley Shikinami who is... well it's hard to explain what she is to be honest. She's part-German and part-Japanese and part of a line of clones specifically made with the purpose to pilot an Evangelion and later on be used as a sacrifice to trigger another Impact (ITS COMPLICATED I KNOW-) Asuka is, unlike Mari, very much suffering from her trauma. She doesn't have her parents and has a very deep seated belief that she's completely alone, which she says doesn't matter as long as she can pilot the Eva. She also very much wants to fight and kill angels all by herself, and it's seriously messing with her when she can't achieve that.

Now we get to the more interesting parts (hopefully this so far wasn't too confusing, then again it's Eva and even I can't fully wrap my head around it all LMAO)

In the second Rebuild movie (Evangelion 2.0 You can (not) advance) we get introduced to both of them, Mari's introduction scene (in the original English dub) has her pilot an Eva and singing about how she'll take the world on by herself, while in the third movie's (Evangelion 3.0 You can (not) redo) opening scene she's piloting the Eva again but this time it's together with Asuka (in her own Unit 02 though) and during that Mari sings about how wonderful it is not to be alone. It's nothing big yet, but it's a really cute detail me thinks,,, you know what else I love about them? They bicker and they banter and it's genuinely so fun to listen to shskdhsuwj

(For a quick catch up: During the end of 2.0 Shinji (the protagonist) triggers another apocalyptic event, the Near Third Impact, and was only stopped due to Kaworu (the guy in my pfp) stepping in. Also between 1.0/2.0 and 3.0/3.0+1.0 are about 14 years (without Shinji bc he's like comatose) where A LOT happens AND we learn in 3.0 that Eva pilots don't age physically bc of "The curse of the Eva"... honestly Eva is wild lmao)

Okay okay I'll get back to it!

So one thing that happens is that Asuka during 2.0 develops a crush on Shinji (girl why-), unfortunately things take a turn for the worse. Asuka had volunteered to be the testpilot for a new Eva (Unit 03), she seemed happy at the time and it was a really sweet build up with the "I can smile, I didn't know I could still do that."-line. And then? Then it turns out the Ninth Angel had infected Unit 03 (Angels are basically the Kaijus they fight using Evas btw). The thing goes on a loose and Shinji is forced to fight it (With Asuka inside mind you), he refuses and his father uses an autopilot to destroy Unit 03. And boy did it destroy the angel, well it and it crushed Asuka between its jaws (you can actually hear her scream btw haha pain :)).

Asuka survived though, but the whole incident cost her her humanity and she ended up becoming an angel herself/she took the place of the Ninth. But despite that, there's one person who keeps believing in Asuka's humanity, who fiercely believes Asuka is still a human and tells her as much.

Yep, that one person is Mari and she keeps holding onto that belief until the very end when Asuka uses her last resort, which is using the power of an angel (Doing so was a guaranteed death sentence btw). Mari's own words (in the German dub) were, "Princess, you're giving up being human…" AND IT MAKES ME SO EMO GOD FUCK

While I'm at it, Mari and Asuka are a fucking killer combo as a team. They rely on each other for support in combat, listen to the other's orders and advice. Especially in Asuka's case it's kind of a big deal that she so openly relies and counts on Mari's support. Like these two trust each other with their damn lifes!!! Holy shit!!

Guess what though, they also have nicknames for eachother. Mari always calls Asuka "Princess" or "(Your) Highness" while Asuka calles Mari "Four-eyes" / "Four-eyed chrony (idk how you spell that tbh RIP" Even better though, in the German dub Asuka calls Mari "Brillerella" as in a combination of "Brille" (German for glasses) and "Cinderella",,,,Cinderella and her Prince,,,Brillerella and her Princess,,, man, that was a gay fucking move of the translation team. Spoiler: I owe them my life.

Funfact: There's exactly two times throughout the Rebuild movies where Mari uses Asuka's actual name. These two times being when she watches Asuka "die" and be used as a sacrifice for Gendo's selfish plan and when later on she begs Shinji, "So please the Princess… Asuka needs your help!" And the best part? That wasn't even the first time she did that. The mentioned line came from 3.0+1.0, but she did that too in 3.0 with the, "At least save the Princess!" line (although her tone was much more...pissed, like she was really angry lol)

Remember the crush Asuka had on Shinji? Well due to the Unit 03 incident a whole lot of other shit got mixed into that and her feelings for him in general became really bitter (understandably so). Now Mari being who she is sometimes teases Asuka about said old crush but she really does want Asuka to get closure and sort that mess out. 

As an example for the teasing, in 3.0 there's a scene that goes like this (please imagine Mari with a literal :3 face while saying that):

"Unit! Are you back in the game?"

"I'm on it, your Highness. But first things first, how was our little puppy (Shinji)? Did he sit like a good little boy?"

"He's exactly the same! Same stupid face talking mayhem!"

"That goofy face of his, that's what you wanted to see? Riiiiight?"

"Shut up! I went there to bat him one!... And I feel better!"

There's also a very short bonus manga that was released in Japan for Thrice Upon a Time's release that has Mari trying to convince Asuka to come with her on the mission to get Shinji, given everything that follows, it's just another thing to prove my point. And the final bit relating to that is this:

"Feeling better now?"

"Yeah, I do feel better."

That's the exchange Asuka and Mari have after they talked to Shinji, it's nothing special but I think it's really sweet and this time Asuka actually sounded like she was feeling better instead of when she was screaming after she nearly broke pretty thick glass with her fist (If she had hit someone with that much force she definitely would've broken something omggg #violentimpulsesgang)

To get back on track though: I already mentioned it but during the second half of 3.0+1.0 Asuka "dies" (and honestly that entire scene is worth its own in-depth post because its just one huge parallel to The End of Evangelion), the point is: You can tell that the loss of Asuka honestly hits Mari hard. Not only because of how Mari screams Asuka's name but also because of her expressions. They're pained, like really fucking pained and Mari even apologizes to her that she has to fall back due to the fact that she's injured AND because eveything is going wrong.

After the events of Evangelion 3.0 these two got seperated from eachother, Mari was with WILLE (the organization both of them are with) and on board of Wunder (the ship WILLE basically operates from) while Asuka was in a Village full of (Near) Third Impact Survivors. When they do meet again it went like this:

Asuka, barely back, comes to the door and calls, "I'm back." And within seconds of Asuka stepping into their room after the door opens Mari already runs towards her, arms wide open and she says, "Welcome back, your Highness! Good job. I missed you so much!" And she says that while she literally nuzzles into Asuka,,,like,,,what the fuck gay people real!!! 

Best part? Asuka clearly has enough strength to push Mari completely away if she were uncomfortable, but she doesn't. Asuka merely wanted enough space to look at the room (because Mari managed to horde even more books lol) and play her game. During their entire renunion Mari keeps hugging her, and part of me thinks that perhaps deep down Asuka actually enjoys the feeling of physical affection.

Before we get to the last point though, let me say that Asuka and Mari have scenes in 3.0+1.0 that parallel Shinji and Kaworu's from 3.0. (Fyi Kaworu loves Shinji (yeah, like that, and 3.0 was basically them being gay as fuck for an hour) so like...do I even need to explain? 

And then of course there's also this, the "Take care of yourself, Princess…" line. That is the last time Mari talks to Asuka and as much as that line alone already is so much, it's Mari's expression in particular that kills me. Because this? This soft, almost bittersweet expression she has, as she basically says goodbye? Because she knows Asuka will finally be happy and safe? It just makes me feel so much actually. Man.

In the end it's a fact that Mari loved Asuka, wether that is interpreted as platonic or romantic by someone is up to them. But it is a fact that Asuka was loved enough that someone wanted to hug her, was happy to see her, to praise her, was hurt by her loss, wanted her to be safe, that someone told her "Take care of yourself…" Asuka was really and honestly so loved that someone would tell her, "I missed you."

But Asuka? Asuka was too hurt, too wrapped up in her own head to actually see how loved she was by Mari (and other people) that she genuinely believed she's completely alone and always will be alone.

It makes the "Take care of yourself" line hit even harder to me, because it's not only Mari's goodbye, but it's a goodbye during the one time Asuka allowed herself to be vulnerable and admit what she really wanted.

And honestly? All of this? Its makes me feel so many things and I just love them  so much man.

[desdealgunlugardelsur]

Harrison Ford: 2020 summary

A year like no other, as you must have heard countless times. The pandemic changed almost everybody´s life on this planet and Harrison wasn´t an exception. Our lil´ bean is strong and healthy but also has to be safe at home, so this year didn´t deliver many news about Harrison. Still, we had a new Harrison movie, The Call of the Wild, released in February, and a few other events before the lockdown. 2020 was also marked by the death of 3 former Harrison´s costars: Chadwick Boseman, Sean Connery and David Prowse. May all of them rest on peace on Heaven.

A new year begins, and we all wish Harrison (and everyone by the way) a productive, happy and healthy 2021. Stay safe!

JANUARY

Early January:  Harrison Ford enjoying his holidays in the caribbean island of Bonaire

25th: Harrison Ford with singer Carole Bayer Sager in a dinner in support of US Democratic candidate Michael Bloomberg

28th: The Call of the Wild “Adventure Companions” Featurette.  Harrison Ford talks about dogs and companionship in The Call of the Wild’s “Adventure Companions” featurette.

28th: not sure where these pics were taken. Probably in Wyoming?  (pics from Rich Elali)

FEBRUARY

3rd: Verizon Super Bowl Ad Features Harrison Ford And New Pearl Jam Song

Kathleen Kennedy Says Harrison Ford Is Still On For ‘Indiana Jones 5’

Early-mid February: the national and international promotion  of The Call of the Wild  begins

5th: In Mexico City:

Harrison Ford: America Has Lost Its Moral Leadership And Credibility:  The “Star Wars” and “Indiana Jones” star calls out U.S. policy on immigration and climate.

11th: On the Jimmy Kimmel Show:

More here 

13th: Harrison Ford, actor and watch designer.  Newly adapted from Jack London’s literary classic, ��The Call of the Wild” transports us to the snowy expanses of Alaska in the 1890s, with Harrison Ford as prospector John Thornton. The actor talks about climate activism, technology and why mechanical watches beat smartwatches every time.

14th: Indiana Jones 5 Starts Shooting In Two Months Says Harrison Ford :  The long delayed fifth Indiana Jones film is finally about to get underway, as Harrison Ford reveals that he will begin shooting in two months. (that was what they were planning before COVID-19 hit the world...)

14th: Harrison Ford: Indiana Jones 5 Will “See Part of His History Resolved”

17th: “A Force ghost? I don’t know what a Force ghost is…I have no idea what a Force ghost is. And I don’t care!“. Legend.

21st: The Call of the Wild is released in cinemas

At the movie premiere in Los Angeles:

BRING ON THE PUPPIES:

More videos:

Call of the Wild Survival Tips!

SNACK??? (Kudos to that girl)

Find epic stories at your library! 

More news:

Of Course Harrison Ford Did His Own Call Of The Wild Stunts And 'Wore Out' The Stunt Team

Harrison Ford's shirtless chest is that buff (at 77) for his 'Call of the Wild' swim scene

26th: Steven Spielberg Won’t Direct ‘Indiana Jones 5,’ James Mangold in Talks to Replace  

27th: Harrison Ford Breaks Down His Career, from 'Star Wars' to 'Indiana Jones'  (Vanity Fair)

Late February: Harrison Ford visits Google´s offices in San Francisco to test the company´s self-driving car. [x] [x] [x] [x]

MARCH

14th:  Harrison spotted in South Hadley, Massachusetts [x].  Apparently Harrison and Calista went to Massachusetts to pick up their son Liam after college shut down due to the coronavirus pandemic.

MARCH

MARCH

MARCH

MARCH

...

APRIL

3rd: Disney delay multiple release dates including Jungle Cruise, The French Dispatch, and Indiana Jones 5  

(…) Another big reveal is that Indiana Jones 5 – which will reportedly be directed by James Mangold – is being pushed back a year, from July 9, 2021 to July 29, 2022.

29th: Harrison Ford under FAA investigation after making a mistake while operating an airplane on the runway

According to the audio obtained by TMZ, Ford, 77, did not follow the direction of a tower operator to “keep short” on the runway because of “traffic”. It seems that the actor did not hear the direction. He nevertheless started to cross the runway, which prompted the operator to reprimand him for not following his instructions.

“Cross this trail now!” I told you to keep it short! You have to listen, “said the operator.

“Excuse me, sir, I thought exactly the opposite. I’m really sorry, ”said Ford immediately.

TMZ said there was no risk of an accident. The other aircraft was allegedly 3600 feet from Ford’s aircraft.

MAY

6th: Lucasfilm Reportedly Wants Harrison Ford To Return For Han And Chewie Star Wars Spinoff (Note: this hasn´t been officially confirmed by Lucasfilm)

15th: No news but I think this is cute: 

From twitter.com/siikasele

21st: The Empire Strikes Back 40th anniversary. 40 years ago, TESB was released on theaters the 21st of May of 1980.

27th: James Mangold Confirmed To Direct Indiana Jones 5.  Producer Frank Marshall confirms James Mangold is directing Indiana Jones 5 and says he's only just begun to work on his own script for the movie.

28th: James Mangold plans to take Indiana Jones franchise 'someplace new'. 

Indiana Jones Writer on How Pandemic Will Affect Film's Script

JUNE

Nothing happens but look at this

You are welcome.

JULY

13th: Happy birthday king!

AUGUST

23rd:  Harrison Ford dropping off his son Liam at College with wife Calista Flockhart via private plane (from tinyrebelstuff)

28th: Chadwick Boseman dies of cancer at the age of 43

Harrison Ford Calls Chadwick Boseman "As Much a Hero as Any He Played" 

“Chadwick Boseman was as compelling, powerful and truthful as the characters he chose to play,” Ford said in a statement to The Hollywood Reporter. “His intelligence, personal dignity and deep commitment inspired his colleagues and elevated the stories he told. He is as much a hero as any he played. He is loved and will be deeply missed.”

SEPTEMBER

24th: Harrison Ford Cleared by FAA in Runway Investigation. "The FAA has closed the case involving the pilot who crossed a Hawthorne Municipal Airport runway without authorization on April 24, 2020. The FAA required the pilot to take a remedial runway incursion training course. When the pilot successfully completed the course, the FAA closed the case with no additional action," the FAA said in a statement to The Hollywood Reporter.

OCTOBER

19th: Harrison Ford & Ed Helms To Star In STX Seafaring Comedy ‘Adventures Of Burt Squire’ 

22nd: Actor and Pilot Harrison Ford Becomes Airlink Spokesperson. Video here

31st: Sean Connery dies at 90.

Sean Connery: Harrison Ford pays tribute to his Indiana Jones father and 'dear friend'

"He was my father... not in life... but in Indy 3," he said.

"You don't know pleasure until someone pays you to take Sean Connery for a ride in the sidecar of a Russian motorcycle bouncing along a bumpy, twisty mountain trail and getting to watch him squirm.

"God, we had fun - if he's in heaven, I hope they have golf courses.

"Rest in peace, dear friend."

NOVEMBER

2nd: Harrison Ford And Lincoln Project Back Anthony Fauci, Advocate Firing Donald Trump  

In the waning hours of the 2020 presidential election, the Lincoln Project has enlisted Harrison Ford to narrate a new ad that plays up President Donald Trump’s suggestion that he will fire Dr. Anthony Fauci.

The spot features a scene from a Trump rally on Sunday in which supporters began chanting “Fire Fauci! Fire Fauci!” and the president responded, “Don’t tell anybody, but let me wait til a little bit after the election.”

Ford then says, “Tomorrow, you can fire only one of them. The choice is yours.”

3rd: Harrison Ford and Bloomberg on Biden 2020

7th: Destiel becomes canon. Harrison doesn´t give a single fuck.

Also Joe Biden wins the US elections. Trump is defeated. Harrison, we know you hate Donald Trump. Congratulations.

21st: Harrison Ford back in Boston, Massachusetts, to pick up his son Liam for Thanksgiving Day.

28th: David Prowse, who played Darth Vader in the original trilogy, dies at the age of 85. Sorry, I didn´t find any words from Harrison on his memory... it seems they weren´t so close. Also, Jeremy Bulloch, the original Boba Fett, dies at 75 the 17th of december.

DECEMBER

10th: Indiana Jones: James Mangold, Harrison Ford Team to Close Out the Character  

Harrison Ford and James Mangold's Indiana Jones 5 will serve as the final chapter for the iconic character.

Disney changed the Indiana Jones logotype. I have a bad feeling about this.

15th: Rare, behind-the-scenes look at 'The Empire Strikes Back'

Including this jewel:

Gif from the @theorganasolo​

31st: And just at the very last day of this weird and strange year...

Disney Reportedly Wants Harrison Ford For Indiana Jones Streaming Show 

Thankfully, then, it seems that the fifth (Indiana Jones) outing may not be the last we see of the actor in the role, as insider Daniel Richtman claims that Disney wants Ford to appear in a series that’s being developed for their streaming service. Further details are unclear and the tipster doesn’t say if it’s an all-new show or a reboot of The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles, but as one of the Mouse House’s most valuable assets, it wouldn’t be a surprise if they wanted to continue mining the property once Indiana Jones 5 wraps up the big screen stories for good. 

Thanks everyone! Hopefully in 2021 the pandemic will fade and the world will return to normalcy. Luckily the production of Indiana Jones V will start this spring, as well as other Harrison projects such the tv show The Staircase and the movie starring with Ed Elms. Fingers crossed for a year full of (good) news about Harrison. Have a happy and safe 2021.

[davethot]

ALL 36 BARBIE MOVIES RANKED... WHY DID WE DO THIS

Please............. for the love of god view this list. Help us. We worked so fucking hard... and for what?

My roommate/best friend and I ( @kar-queen ) decided to watch ALL 36 BARBIE MOVIES and then rank them from worst to best. This adventure was inspired by the YouTube video by caitlovesdisney where she also ranked every single Barbie movie. However, we wanted to do our own list since some of her choices didn’t reflect what we thought. Her list was still so awesome and I respect anyone who decides to watch all these Barbie movies. We did this because of sheer curiosity and for the sake of very scientific research. 

We thought it would be fun at first. We really did. And it was? Kind of? Just, Jesus Christ. We can no longer see pink. I have night terrors about Barbie’s ugly ass animal friends. It truly was An Experience and has left us feeling dazed and like we never want to rank things ever again. We weren’t planning on posting a written out ranking of these movies anywhere (since we were just doing it for fun between us) but we wanted some physical evidence of our labor since this whole experience took 50 years off our lives. 

Under READMORE we will rank the 36 Barbie movies from WORST TO BEST (36 to 1). HOWEVER, THERE’S A TWIST. We are ALSO ranking them based on how GAY they were (and trust me, it yielded more results than you would originally think). That way we could both get through these movies by spicing things up a little bit. Hit readmore if you’re not a coward.

DISCLAIMER: Barbie is a staple for kids and overall teaches them that anyone (though more specifically girls/women) can do/be anything, which is extremely admirable. We have no issues with Barbie as a role model for kids and this list is all in good fun. However, we are going to point out things that either frustrated us or seemed downright harmful for kids to watch and take after. Clearly Mattel/Barbie has taken great and necessary steps to be more inclusive and progressive, especially in recent years compared to their older movies. 

ANOTHER MILD DISCLAIMER: In some of these movies Barbie’s character is not named Barbie, but we’re just going to call every main girl Barbie to keep things simple and easy. Just a warning. 

ANOTHER ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: This is going to be long since there are 36 movies. Even if you read all of this you will only feel a fraction of our pain. 

WITH THAT, LET’S START WITH SOME HOT GARBAGE. LET’S GO GAMERS. 

36. BARBIE IN PRINCESS POWER (2015)

Starting out with at the fucking bottom lads. My roommate and I were foaming at the fucking mouth watching this movie. It’s so hard to explain why this one pissed us off so much because it was nearly every single goddamn aspect of it. Here’s some bullet points to make this go by quickly and painlessly. 

- She’s a princess but then she ALSO gets super powers??? So she’s already extremely privileged, rich, and lives a comfortable lifestyle, but then she gets powers when A MAGICAL FAIRY BUTTERFLY KISSES HER CHEEK? LIKE LITERALLY JUST KISSES HER CHEEK AND BOOM SHE HAS POWERS. 

- Her powers are really fucking boring. All she has is super strength and she can fly. 

- She treats her best friends/side kicks like shit??? These poor girls (neither rich nor princesses) dote on this fucking girl and do everything for her behind the scenes while she sucks at being a super hero. It’s really infuriating. 

- There’s a side plot where she lets the fame get to her head. So, she starts snapping at everyone around her and just being overall a total bitch? Also her sister gets powers too and they like, fight over this said attention. Stupid. 

- At the end of the movie she apologizes to her sister, but never to her friends or the other people she walked all over? Absolutely infuriating. We don’t know how else to describe this film. Barbie was so rude and unaware of the kind of privilege she had and acted spoiled the entire time, which is why it’s ranked at the complete bottom. 

- Also there was a romantic interest, I think????? He was a reporter? Don’t remember his name. Doesn’t matter. They didn’t get together. Also the fashion and colors in this movie are horrendous. Like c’mon guys. 

Oh also how could we forget. GAYNESS RANK: Not gay at all. So aggressively heterosexual.

Also: We know that Barbie is usually a princess in all of these movies and usually we don’t really care, but this one was especially bad when it came to her acting so fucking privileged. I swear we’re not insane this one was just so bad when it came to that. 

35. BARBIE AND THE SECRET DOOR (2014)

This one isn’t going to be as long or intense as Princess Power (which literally had so much wrong with it that we barely covered any of it). This one was just so offensively ugly. And boring. And stupid. I hated it so much. 

This is also another one where she’s a princess and she whines about how her life is so hard? 

In the beginning, she talks about how all she does is lay around all day and read books, and then later sings a song about how she wishes she could lay around all day and read books? Like, we stan a bookworm queen, but she acts so ungrateful for her lifestyles and then never mentions liking to read again when the main adventure of the movie starts. Just overall dumb and boring. 

Also this is so fucking ugly. Did we mention that this movie is ugly?

I don’t know who approved of these backgrounds and colors but they’re just so hideous like it literally gives me a headache. 

GAYNESS RANK: Pretty heterosexual. Barbie doesn’t have a love interest which is kind of nice and the two girls she meets are cute friends, but not enough to be noteworthy when it comes to gay. 

34. BARBIE A PERFECT CHRISTMAS (2011)

For being centered around Christmas, this didn’t feel like a Christmas movie at all. It tried to follow the typical plot of “We had a great Christmas planned but then oh no! So many things went wrong! But in the end all that matters is that you’re with your family and that’s what Christmas is all about :)” but they somehow managed to fuck that up? This movie is so mean? Barbie’s sisters are awful to each other, and lash out multiple times, especially at the youngest sister. Even if they tried to make up at the end the whole film felt very mean-spirited for a Christmas movie. 

The message about family was lost when they were more concerned with streaming a band performance rather than spending time with each other. It just was not great overall and left a very sour taste in our mouths. Would not recommend to show a kid around Christmas. 

GAYNESS RANK: Not gay at all. Pretty heterosexual. Skipper (the brunette) kind of had this weird thing with her girl friend that lived in New York but it didn’t really go anywhere. Her friend was never shown on screen, anyway. 

Also the movies really fucking ugly. We’re not even going to mention the horrendous pink Christmas trees. You’re welcome. 

33. BARBIE MAGIC OF THE RAINBOW (2007) (also known as Fairytopia 3)

Being the 3rd movie in the Fairytopia series, it’s by far the worst. The portrayal of Barbie/the main character was very obnoxious and careless. She was automatically good at everything she did on the first try and it was honestly so unrealistic and didn’t teach a great message at all. 

It also just, like, had these fairies attend school? To strengthen their powers, I guess? It wasn’t really explained. Barbie was very mean to a another fairy and even if they made up at the end it didn’t feel genuine. I think they were just trying to milk this Fairytopia series for everything it was worth and I’m glad it stopped after this one. 

Her bf in this one wasn’t bad, though, he was pretty sweet. He could talk to animals which was charming. 

GAYNESS RANK: Mid-tier. Even though she fought with the one fairy they had a pretty intense rivalry thing going on, which was pretty gay. Even though she had a bf they kind of barely interacted since Barbie was so engrossed with the other fairy. A few gay points I guess. Though those few gay points get taken away when her annoying fluff ball Bibble gets an ugly fluff ball girlfriend. Stupid.

32. BARBIE IN A MERMAID TALE (2010)

Okay, like... I barely watched this one so my roommate took the fall. So, I’m going to quote them for this: “This one was just written badly, objectively. The pacing was horrendous. The story was very contrived. *long pause*....... That’s all.” 

Yeah I don’t have much to say about this one either. I remember Barbie being bitchy towards her friends and her guardian. When a magic dolphin asks her to help she’s just like “no, fuck you” for literally no reason at all? She surfs but it’s not even that cool, so... wasted potential.

GAYNESS RANK: There’s not nothing? Some potential. Her surfing buddies hang around and she hangs out with her mermaid friends as well. Other than that, though... :( (I promise there will be Barbie movies that are gay just wait) 

31. BARBIE AND HER SISTERS IN A PUPPY CHASE (2016)

This movie... is so strange. We hated it so much, but it was also kind of ironically hilarious??? This is the second movie in the “Barbie and her Sisters + Puppies” series (which are terrible) but this one was special in how awful it was. 

Barbie is SUCH AN IRRESPONSIBLE SISTER. So they go on vacation to some tropical island and Barbie’s youngest sister has a dance recital to practice for, but Barbie just straight up tells her to not practice?? LIKE??? BARBIE?!

They also end up fucking deserted on this island. Everything you can think of goes wrong for them. It’s honestly incredible. At one point they’re stranded outside in the rain only eating granola bars by a fire. Barbie tries to cheer them up by playing this STUPID game called “imagine if” where they just name things that they wish would happen??? 

Oh and at the end Barbies sister ends up winning her dance recital when her whole family and an entire entourage of animals dance with her on stage. Cause, like, yeah, that’s totally fucking fair to the other contestants. 

GAYNESS RANK: All of these Puppy movies are absolutely not gay at all bc it’s literally just Barbie and her sisters with some puppies. Don’t expect too much.  

30. BARBIE AND HER SISTERS IN THE GREAT PUPPY ADVENTURE (2015)

This is the first movie in the Sisters + Puppies series and it’s pretty much just as bad as the other one, but at least Puppy Chase was funny. This one is really boring. Also forgot to mention that the puppies talk. It’s very annoying and absolutely ruins the movies. 

This movie on the surface kind of has a charming premise where they all go on vacation to the countryside/the midwest and experience a lot of small town things, and yet it doesn’t feel very genuine? As someone from the midwest I can confirm. 

Barbie and her sisters go on this treasure hunt that apparently their grandfather died trying to solve, and yet they manage to solve it within a couple days? caitlovesdisney explains it pretty well in her video if you wanna hear more about Puppy Adventure. I know you’re just dying to know more about Puppy Adventure. 

GAYNESS RANK: Barbie at one point talks to another woman who isn’t one of her sisters. Super exciting stuff. 

29. BARBIE THE PRINCESS AND THE POPSTAR (2012) 

Okaaaaay, like....... this one made us really. really. mad. 

So we’ve already mentioned how Barbie acts super privileged in some of these movies, but this is the one that made us notice it. The basic premise is that there’s a princess (Barbie) and a popstar (Who Cares) and they want to switch lives. 

But the thing is they already live amazing lives? So the other Barbie film that this one borrows from (The Princess and the Pauper) loses its meaning and drama? Instead of a rich girl and poor girl trading lives, it’s just two rich girls switching lives. 

ALSO! There’s this side plot where, within the castle, they have this tree that can GROW DIAMONDS? AND THAT’S THE SOURCE OF THE KINGDOM’S WEALTH? AND YET, LATER IN THE MOVIE, THERE ARE POOR PEOPLE LIVING IN POVERTY. SO WHAT THE FUCK IS THE DIAMOND TREE FOR?????

The only saving grace for this movie was that Barbie and the popstar were extremely gay. Like, having posters and pictures of each other in their rooms, gazing at each other dreamily from balconies, and subtly being very touchy-feely every time they’re together in person. That’s pretty much the only reason why it’s a bit higher than some of the others. 

GAYNESS RANK: One of the gayest ones. There are so many side glances and yearning. Shoulder touches and all that. We totally shipped these two by the end. In a different universe, in a better movie... these two could have been super cute together. 

28. BARBIE THE PEARL PRINCESS (2014)

Not much to say about this one. I hated it a lot more than my roommate did and I’m the one typing this all out sooooo I get the final say. I hate this movie so much. Barbie, once again, acted really privileged and was super unlikable. At one point she gets a job at a hair salon, which is kinda nice I guess? But then she’s automatically good at it without even trying? So... fuck off. 

Also there’s a seahorse with hair and it looked so ugly that I constantly wanted to cry. Please free me from the sleep paralysis demons that are the Barbie animal sidekicks. 

GAYNESS RANK: Nothing to report. The couple girls Barbie hangs out with were barely in the movie so there were no vibes. Sad. 

27. BARBIE IN ROCK N ROYALS (2015)

We’re getting to the mid-tier Barbie movies that we don’t have much to say about. My roommate and I just found the concept of this one to be really dumb? 

The outfits were very ugly and the singers were really bad. But there was a main character who was a black girl, which was really nice to see! They also went a little more punk than the typical frilly stuff which was nice to see. Not the worst but still ranked pretty low cause of the dumb premise and just being pretty boring overall. 

GAYNESS RANK: This one was decently gay, pretty mid-tier. Barbie had a great potential romance with the other main girl and the way they interacted was very sweet and cute. They both had male love interests but nothing really came of it which is kinda funny. Not too much going on but enough to get a mention. 

26. BARBIE PRINCESS CHARM SCHOOL (2011)

This was SO FRUSTRATING because it started out STRONG, but then crashed and burned really quickly. 

The movie starts out with Barbie working her ass off at a little diner to make ends meet at home. We see how her guardian can’t work and that she has a little sister and a home to support. It was really charming to see Barbie hustling to make money and felt so much more down-to-Earth than a lot of the other Barbie movies where she’s a princess and has everything she wants. 

Long story short, she wins this drawing to be enrolled in this Princess Charm School where you can learn to be royalty. In the end she finds out that she was the lost princess all along and then everything that was mentioned at the beginning is completely abandoned once this is found out. Just... super disappointing how a relatable Barbie depiction ends up being a princess all along :/

Also the fashion in this movie was super disappointing. They somehow managed to make preppy school girl outfits look bad. Sad. 

GAYNESS RANK: This one’s pretty much on the same level as Rock n Royals. There was some potential with Barbie and her friends but not much else. Next. 

25. BARBIE IN A MERMAID TALE 2 (2012)

Absolutely nothing to report. There’s some more surfing action in this one compared to the first one which is really nice. 

Imma be real with u chief... I barely remember what happens. She meets an Australian girl? She gets tricked by a French fish into transforming into a mermaid? Villain from the first movie comes back... Australian girl gets caught in a whirlpool... They save the day. 

There’s a pretty shitty part where the Australian girl wins the surfing competition but Barbie still somehow gets all the reporters’ attention and gets a sponsorship. It was sad and tbh we didn’t like that part. 

GAYNESS RANK: Gayer than most. Her and this girl have a rivalry which is pretty cute. They playfully tease each other while surfing all the time and tbh I could totally ship it. The Australian girl’s pretty spunky which is refreshing. Too bad her Australian accent was so obviously fake it was distracting. 

24. BARBIE FAIRYTOPIA (2005)

This one gets the award for the most boring Barbie movie. We both could not even try to bring ourselves to pay attention to this one, even if my roommate was nostalgic for it. Bibble was a highlight just cause we made fun of him the whole time but it was a short-lived high. That’s all. Here’s a creepy picture we found of the main character.

GAYNESS RANK: Barbie doesn’t have a love interest at all, which is like, a point... She hangs out with the blue fairy and they’re kinda cute. Not much else, though. 

23. BARBIE FAIRYTOPIA: MERMAIDIA (2006)

My roommate is really nostalgic for this one since they grew up with it, and yet they found it hard to pay attention at all. As did I. It was pretty boring. About a week went by after we watched this one and my roommate was trying to talk about it but I literally did not remember watching it until they showed me a picture of the ugly ass snail with huge lips and it jump scared me. You had to be there I guess. 

They were mermaids... Bibble was there... typical Barbie shit. This image pretty much perfectly describes how enthralling it was to watch this. 

GAYNESS RANK: Barbie and the blue mermaid are a little gay. The love interest was pretty funny and cute. He did have a thing for the blue mermaid so a couple gay points get deducted. 

22. BARBIE THE 12 DANCING PRINCESSES (2006) 

We know this one’s a classic, but we just found it to be very boring? I know this seems like a trend but we swear that we didn’t think all the Barbie movies are boring, it’s just the middle of the list. The dancing in this one was kind of nice and there was an interesting subplot where this lady was slowly poisoning their dad. 

The only thing that seemed silly was when they would stow away to the magical island... Like, why? The lady banned dancing but they could have just danced in their rooms. No one ever went in to check on them or they would have noticed they were gone anyway. So what the hell. 

Also Barbie and all of her other sisters looked exactly the same and it was hard to tell them apart. The love interest was pretty cute, though. 

GAYNESS RANK: Nothing, absolutely zippo. They’re all sisters and she had a nice romance with the guy so. 

21. BARBIE AND THE DIAMOND CASTLE (2008)

Gonna get this out of the way: There is basically nothing to report when it comes to the plot of this movie. Evil force upon the land. A villain. Animal sidekicks. Love interest/Ken who’s barely in the movie. Barbie defeats the evil and gets a new dress. THE END. BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT WE’RE HERE TO TALK ABOUT.

THIS MOVIE... IS SO GAY?

This was at the top of our gay Barbie list literally the entire time (until it was dethroned, but we’ll get to that later). This story LITERALLY revolves around Barbie and her “friend” who: live together in the same house, write songs together, dream about living in a mansion together, garden together, sing while gardening together... LIKE?? Holy shit, lesbian goals. 

At one point in the film they find two heart shaped rocks in the river and make them into necklaces, which they both wear to solidify their “friendship”. We are not making this up. This entire movie was comprised of us looking incredulously at each other every time they stared longingly at one another or mentioned how much they need each other. Evidence:

GAYNESS RANKING: Not gonna say it again. Top-tier gay. However, amazingly, not the gayest. We’ll get into that later. Regardless, we stan two beautiful lesbians living in the woods together where all they do is wear heart-shaped necklaces and sing songs about being rich one day. Amazing.

20. THUMBELINA (2009)

A Barbie movie with an environmental message, which is fine, I guess... Overall we just kinda found this movie annoying, but still a little bit better than other ones that were either insulting or just downright boring. Ferngully for babies? 

I... Wish I could say more. I’m sorry. It’s fine if you were going to show it to a kid, I guess. We also thought this one was kinda ugly as well. 

GAYNESS RANK: There are the two friends and we got no vibes. Absolutely zippo. Next. 

19. BARBIE MARIPOSA AND HER BUTTERFLY FAIRY FRIENDS (2008)

Another one where we just don’t have much to say? We’re now entering the “fine” category. I wouldn’t be really mad if someone made me rewatch it, but I wouldn’t be happy with it either. 

Barbie is also a bookworm in this one, but it’s done a lot better than Secret Door. It’s kind of nice how she’s considered an outcast in this one and has to work through that. Her love interest (Carlos, we remembered his name!) was funny and brought life to the movie. Overall pretty okay!

The bunny sidekick was kind of ugly, though. Can’t win in every category.

GAYNESS RANK: Has some promising potential, but doesn’t really deliver. Disappointing but not awful. 

18. BARBIE MARIPOSA AND THE FAIRY PRINCESS (2013)

This one is a lot better than the first! Surprisingly, this movie deals racism in a way that is easily digestible for children while also not making light of the issue. It’s not perfect, but we found it to do its job pretty well. 

It centers around Barbie meeting a princess (Barbie isn’t a princess for once, yay!) and while the two want to be friends, the princess is a crystal wing fairy and Barbie is a butterfly wing fairy, so the princesses father objects to them being friends. 

Also great time to mention that this was the second gayest Barbie movie for many many many reasons. And trust us, topping Diamond Castle is no easy feat. 

First of all, there are SEVERAL scenes where the crystal fairy princess is completely disinterested in what’s going on but, as soon as Barbie walks in, she gets really excited and gives her her full attention. It’s EXTREMELY cute. 

Second, there’s a Beauty and the Beast esque scene where the crystal fairy gives Barbie an entire library of books, since she remembers that she loves books. They also proceed to bond over what kind of books they like and watching them geek out over that is adorable. 

Third, they sneak off to a cave so that they can hang out without the crystal fairy’s father (the king) finding them. They then go to skip rocks on a lake and the ripples make rainbows. They also dance together at a ball, and there is just so much lingering eye contact and small touches. They’re cute and we ship. 

GAYNESS RANK: ALMOST top of the list. SUPER close. Not quite there, though. We weren’t expecting this one to be as gay as it was since it was a sequel movie, but thank god it was. 

17. BARBIE VIDEO GAME HERO (2017)

This... is a weird one? The basic plot is that Barbie is a programmer who makes video games. She gets sucked into a video game and they need her help to rid the game of viruses. We’re really conflicted about this movie so this will benefit from some good ol fashioned bullet points. 

- It’s really cool that Barbie’s a programmer and likes to play video games, and she’s not a princess! It was very nice and modern of them to include a story like this. Very refreshing after 30 or so Barbie movies that revolve around her being a princess.

- There’s a lot of side characters who join Barbie on her quest, but none of them are interesting or memorable...

- The art style changes between “levels”, and while a cute idea, they don’t take advantage of it enough! There are only three art style changes in the whole movie, and two out of the three are really ugly. 

- There is so much Just Dance product placement in this movie. It’s cringe. 

- The plot of this movie literally... makes no sense? They say that once Barbie wins the level, the viruses attacking that said level will be destroyed, but throughout the movie every time she wins they still don’t stop??? So that’s why she had to have a bunch of characters follow her around so they wouldn’t get attacked by viruses? SO WHAT IS SHE WINNING THE LEVELS FOR?

- This movie was probably the most baby out of all of them. While there’s nothing wrong with that, it was kind of a shock after we were watching all the other Barbie films, which are more targeted towards children to tweens. This one felt like it was for toddlers. 

- Overall this movie wasn’t bad, just very strange. Would maybe recommend? Fine for your kid to watch if they want something casual and fun that involves a girl gamer. Gamers rise up. 

GAYNESS RANK: No gay vibes at all, which is not a total epic gamer moment. Probs because this movie was very very baby so the vibes were nonexistent. Too bad since Barbie met up with a lot of cute girls. Gaymer oppression never ends :(. Press F.

16. BARBIE DOLPHIN MAGIC (2017)

We did it lads. We found The Gayest Barbie Movie that has Ever Existed.

Before we get to that, though, I hate to admit that this is one of the Barbie’s Sisters + Puppies movies, but it’s kind of hilarious because in this one they completely remove the puppies talking. I guess someone smartened up and realized that that was stupid and dumb. Thank god for them because it made the movie infinitely better. 

Plot is simple: Barbie and her sisters are on vacation and while they’re visiting the most boring man on Earth (Ken), an emerald dolphin gets trapped by an evil marine biologist who wants to sell the dolphin for money. Then a mermaid named Isla (yes we remember her name because she’s incredible) goes to save the dolphin with the help of Barbie (with minimal contributions from the others). 

I know we raved about how Fairy Princess was very gay, but just......... wow......... The difference between this and fairy princess is that Dolphin Magic literally has an entire scene dedicated to Barbie and Isla swimming together very closely with ethereal music, littered with cute giggling, lingering shoulder touches, and extended eye contact. Oh, also can’t forget the hand holding.

Don’t forget about the necklaces they give each other so that they can stay connected with each other no matter where they are in the world. There’s even a scene at the end where Isla mentions how Barbie kept trying to contact her multiple times off-screen, only validating Barbies insane girl crush on Isla. 

This may or may not be photoshopped but tbh I don’t give a damn. 

GAYNESS RANK: The gayest Barbie movie. These two were so adorable throughout the entire movie and we couldn’t even get into everything that made it so charming. There were many scenes where Isla was learning how to act like a human that were so sweet and endearing. Great Barbie movie if you’re looking for something sweet with some obvious lesbians. Go team. 

15. BARBIE NUTCRACKER (2001)

We had a lot to say about Dolphin Magic since it was gay, but now we’re getting back into the “it’s fine” category with Nutcracker. 

This movie is sweet and it’s pretty hard to fuck up a Nutcracker adaptation. There wasn’t a ton of ballet which was a little disappointing? They also didn’t play the whole soundtrack and stuck a lot of the good songs right at the end, which was odd. Our only real complaint was it kind of wasted its potential and it was slightly boring. 

Other than that, it’s a sweet Christmas movie if anyone really likes Barbie and the Nutcracker. My roommate grew up on the Nutcracker so regardless it can be pretty nostalgic for some. 

Also, Barbie is beautiful in this movie. 

GAYNESS RANK: There literally is not another female for Barbie to interact with in this movie. There were a couple guys who could have possibly given off vibes but we felt nothing so. 

14. BARBIE A FASHION FAIRYTALE (2010)

If there’s anything to say about this one, it’s definitely... interesting. 

So in this universe, Barbie is an actress, and she plays herself in a bunch of pre-existing Barbie movies (many of which that have already been mentioned on this list). It’s extremely meta and a little confusing???

Barbie basically gets fired from her job, Ken dumps her, and she goes to find herself in Paris with her fashion designer aunt. The most interesting thing we can really say about this movie is describing the beginning, because that was the best part by far. 

It’s also revealed that Ken did not actually dump her, so there’s a really charming side plot where Ken travels all the way from LA to Paris to sort it all out in person through a spontaneous act of romance. 

Ken ABSOLUTELY makes this movie. We quote him a lot when we’re just hanging out in the apartment. He is so cute and funny and loves Barbie so much, it’s adorable. Absolutely worth the watch to see a true himbo in action. 

Also, Ken and Barbie kiss at the end and we’re p sure this is the only movie where Barbie actually kisses any of her love interests. Fuck yeah. 

GAYNESS RANK: There’s no gayness, but that’s okay, because the romance between Barbie and Ken is adorable. I never want anything to get between these two :’)

13. BARBIE IN A CHRISTMAS CAROL (2008)

Not much more to say about this one other than it’s a Christmas Carol but with Barbie. It was interesting to see Barbie in a “Scrooge” role where she has to relearn how to be caring and kind. It was pretty down to Earth and felt very Christmas-y and festive. 

There was a very sweet plot of Barbie reconnecting with a girl she used to sing with as they were growing up. It was also interesting to see that while Barbie was growing up, her family would force her to practice singing rather than letting her go outside and live a normal life. This made Barbie feel a little more down-to-Earth. 

Sorry, we don’t really know what else to say. It’s fine. The cat is very ugly, though. 

GAYNESS RANK: There’s a scene at the end, after Barbie reconnects with her friend, where she’s holding her hands and giggling a lot. It was really cute to see them be friends and to be excited about the holidays together. A couple gay points were deducted since her friend did have a love interest, though.

12. BARBIE AND THE THREE MUSKETEERS (2009)

Not gonna lie, this one was a little... disappointing? We were really excited for this one since it’s a lot of people’s favorite, and the concept of Barbie being a musketeer (and not a princess :)) is exciting and fresh. 

The beginning of this movie was great!! Seeing Barbie practicing in the barn with her animals was just really sweet. She was wearing a cute outfit with pants a vest and the HAT. 

Though, as it went on, it started to drop off for us. The reveal of the musketeers at the end was really underwhelming, and we thought the outfits were a let down compared to Barbie’s earlier outfit in the movie. 

Other than those things, this movie was fun!! Watching all the girls be badass and learn how to fight with their unique weapons was awesome. Watching them team up was really satisfying. The prince guy was also pretty sweet. We would recommend watching this, esp if you remember it being your favorite.

GAYNESS RANK: Has a lot of gay energy!! There are a few scenes where people are outwardly sexist towards her and yet she strives to prove them wrong. When she meets the other girls, they are coached by this old lady who can kick ass. Even though it could have been gayer it was a good time.

11. BARBIE A FAIRY SECRET (2011)

Some people may be mad that we put this above Three Musketeers... whoops. 

Anyway this movie solely exists to give us more Amazing Ken content. This movie takes place in the same universe as Fashion Fairy Tale, so it’s the same Barbie and Ken from that movie. 

Our only complaint is that they took the domestic feel of Fashion Fairy Tale and turned it into something that had so much unnecessary magic?? Though at the same time we got A Vibe from this movie that the creators just wanted to make something silly, and it worked.

Ken is HILARIOUS in this movie, even better than Fashion Fairy Tale. Even though everyone turns into a fairy, the wings that they give Ken are small and pink and he can barely fly with them. It’s just so... funny? He also... mock-fights this other buff fairy guy?? Idk this movie is really hard to explain, sorry. We would definitely recommend this even if just for Ken. 

GAYNESS RANK: Ken is a himbo so he automatically attracts the lesbian crowd. There’s also a plot with Barbie where she makes up with this girl who had been mean to her for the longest time, but it’s done in a way that just feels... really gay? Or at least the girl is kinda gay and Barbie doesn’t exactly realize (since she’s in a committed relationship with Ken). This movie feels like it would be more appealing to gay people rather than being gay itself.

10. BARBIE AS THE PRINCESS AND THE PAUPER (2004)

A lot of people are probably going to be surprised that this isn’t in our top 5, but we want to stress that this movie is good!! These top 10 Barbie movies are getting into the territory where we would absolutely recommend them because they are cute and fun, and this is exactly that!

The songs in this movie are great! However, we do have to be a little bitter towards it since this started the trend of musical Barbie movies, and many of them are shitty and bad compared to this. 

The villain of this movie....... *chefs kiss* We also quote him constantly. 

This is an example of a Barbie movie where she’s a princess but it’s very endearing and done well. She rarely comes off as spoiled. She’s very smart and brave, and we see this through her actions rather than the movie just obnoxiously telling us that she is. Also the romance between the pauper and the king was very sweet. 

GAYNESS RANK: While this was a great set-up to be gay, it doesn’t follow through. We’re not bitter about it, though, since their love interests were very sweet. Pretty straight of them to have their cats fall in love, though :/

9. BARBIE AS THE ISLAND PRINCESS (2007)

When we first watched this one, we thought it was extremely boring and we were going to put it kind of low, but the more we thought about it we realized that it really did have a great plot.

They brought Barbie to civilization from her deserted island and people start getting sick, so they’re blaming Barbie for bringing diseases when in reality it’s the villain using rats to poison people’s food. Also, it was so charming and interesting to see Barbie’s love interest want to be an adventurer, and he had so much more personality than a lot of other Barbie Princes. While he’s not on Ken’s level, he was so sweet. 

All in all this one definitely had one of the tightest plots with great characters that really endears you to them. It’s a little slow but def worth the watch.

GAYNESS RANK: One of the least gay ones... Not mad though, the love interests were great. The peacock was kinda gay so... love wins. 

8. BARBIE OF SWAN LAKE (2003)

People will ALSO be surprised that this one is so low compared to other people’s Barbie movie lists. Please, trust us, we’re not crazy, it’s just... when you’ve watched 30+ other Barbie movies the initial charm of this kind of wears off. We both are very nostalgic for this movie and yet that couldn’t even bump it into the top 5. 

A couple things we can praise: The toys were AMAZING, Barbie’s dress is BEAUTIFUL and ICONIC, the dancing and music were very gorgeous. The dancing in this movie was mocapped from real ballet dancers, so, very nice.

But... the forest animals were kind of annoying? Their outfits were kind of cute but they were still annoying? The villain’s daughter’s VOICE was just... HORRENDOUS. With the villain in Princess and the Pauper, the guy’s voice was comical but it didn’t completely take you out of the movie. This chick, however, was being so over dramatic that it wasn’t even ironically funny, it was very cringey... Just bad voice acting all around. 

Also this movie was a lot more boring than we remember. 

REGARDLESS OF ALL OF THAT, this is a CLASSIC Barbie movie and we would still recommend checking it out at least once (and rewatching if you haven’t seen it since you were a kid). 

GAYNESS RANK: Nothing gay to report. Next.

7. BARBIE IN THE PINK SHOES (2013)

Another... strange one. 

So Barbie is a ballet dancer about to do a performance and when her shoes break down, she goes into a store room and finds a pair of pink ballet shoes. When she puts them on, she and her friend are teleported into this alternate dimension??? Where all ballets ever are happening at the same time??? And she’s the main lead for all of them?? At once?? And there’s this ice queen villain who controls people by making them dance???????

This was the first Barbie movie we watched (we put them all in a wheel and let that decide our fate) and it sure did set the tone. 

Plot doesn’t matter though, we need to talk about... Them. Only Pink Shoes fans will understand. 

So, there are these two guys... and they’re just like... really gay??? They inspired us to apply a gay ranking to these Barbie movies, if that tells you anything. One in a prince and the other is a commoner/hunter. There are so many scenes where it cuts away from Barbie to focus on these two playfully bantering with each other (enemies to lovers 100k slowburn)? The hunter guy teaches the other how to shoot a bow and arrow by touching him and guiding him into the right position? There’s also a scene where they meet back up with Barbie, but they only have two horses, so instead of Barbie riding with one of them they ride with each other and give her her own horse??? Respect women juice...

They also show up at the end just... together? (in real life not in the... Pink Shoes dimension) and it’s not explained what they’re doing together or even what their relationship is (friendship or otherwise). It truly was bizarre. 

GAYNESS RANK: This was on top for quite awhile since it was the first movie we watched. Unfortunately de-throned by Diamond Castle when we got around to it, but we still STAN these himbos. 

6. BARBIE AND HER SISTERS IN A PONY TALE (2013)

I... okay hear us out...

This movie is bad. Like, objectively it’s very very bad. It’s a baby movie, a Barbie and her sisters movie, it’s a horse girl movie, on top of everything... and yet... 

We probably had the most fun watching this one, like, we were glued to the fucking screen. We cried laughing multiple times because it was just so charmingly bad. 

Plot isn’t important, since my roommate and I keep forgetting what the real plot is. We only care about the British boys from the rivaling stable and how they just breeze in and out and run away on their horses laughing like frenchmen... even though they’re British. One of them uncannily resembles Malfoy from hp and is a sidekick to the main guy, it’s a little weird. 

There are also these two British kids and the girl is super weird? Like weird girl representation for real. Also there’s this Phillipe guy who was so fucking funny to listen to. Here’s Phillipe, you’re welcome.

Fuck you I’m not resizing the image. 

Oh also Barbie finds a magic horse with a pink mane. Phillipe wants to like, kill her for it, I guess. Yeah. 

GAYNESS RANK: While super fucking funny, not a lot of gay. It makes up for it with the mere presence of Phillipe. 

5. BARBIE AND THE MAGIC OF PEGASUS (2005)

This and the next entry are both tied for 4th place since it was extremely hard to choose between the two. We were both nostalgic for this and the next entry, but we were also really excited to find out that both of these are great movies!

So me personally, I was a horse girl growing up, and I ADORED this movie. I didn’t think it would be so good upon rewatch, but it actually was! The plot was pretty tight, the villain was fun, it felt like a genuine fairytale, the characters were cute and fun, and Barbie was intelligent and resourceful! 

Check this one out if you haven’t seen it, but now we’re going to talk about one of the best aspects of this movie, which is Barbie’s love interest. 

Unlike every single other Barbie bf, the love interest in this one (named Aiden) was literally almost a better character than Barbie herself. For the first time EVER they decided to give a Barbie love interest a BACKSTORY. And, like, a GOOD backstory. It made him feel like a real person and his story pulled at your heartstrings. 

Also, him and Barbie do not automatically get along, and for a decent amount of time they have witty banter with one another. It really lets their characters shine through the movie and was SO refreshing. 

We could rave about Aiden all day, but you guys should just go watch it for yourself, it really is worth it!

GAYNESS RANK: Not gay at all, but fine since the romance is so great. Moving on!

4. BARBIE AS RAPUNZEL (2002)

This movie is just... good. And not even good for a Barbie movie, it’s just a well-written movie overall! The plot was tight and remained interesting without being too complicated, either. Barbie’s animals were also pretty charming (even if the rabbit is ass ugly, but it’s 2002, they get a pass) and likable compared to other Barbie sidekicks. The dragon even has a little arc of her own??? Hell yeah. 

Don’t really have to explain the plot, it’s Rapunzel. The only difference is that she has a magical paintbrush that can teleport her to places that she paints, which helps the story progress. 

It also really did feel like Barbie was in mortal danger, which is so unlike every other Barbie movie. I was really glad to have grown up with this movie being my first exposure to Rapunzel, since I believe it’s a great introduction to her (and the toys were awesome, lol). This was another movie where Barbie being a princess was really great and charming since it felt earned since she went through hard times. 

Okay, like, we literally cannot go any further without mentioning something, stay with us...

In the movie, there’s, like, this weasel/ferret thing that belongs to the villain. He’s basically an animal villain, or whatever. 

I don’t really know how else to say this other than there’s this scene where he asks the villain to give him the rabbit and he outright just... moans????? The voice actor just... lets it out. It literally sounds like he’s getting a hand job in the recording booth in the middle of the line and just lets it all out and they kept that shit in, and then animated it???? 

We really wish we could include a video exclusively of that scene, but the best we can do is just link the video and give you a time stamp (37:49). PLEASE watch it. We have been quoting it every single day since we watched the damn movie.

GAYNESS RANK: No gay. Nothing to report. Barren. Probably the least gay. 

3. BARBIE SPY SQUAD (2016)

All due respect to the original queen caitlovesdisney, but like, she’s wrong about Spy Squad. Listen. 

This movie was SO MUCH FUN. We were literally just glued to the screen and having a great time watching these three girls chase after this cute af phantom thief chick??? They had tons of cops-and-robbers dialogue with her and it was just... FUN. Almost like a thriller, tbh. 

caitlovesdisney did make a great point in her video when she mentioned that they were actually pretty bad at being spies, and we can totally see why this would be super frustrating to people if they were watch. However, my roommate and I didn’t mind? We thought it was charming that they weren’t automatically great at something and that they had to practice a ton to get better. So much more refreshing compared to other Barbie stories. 

The elephant in the room, though... we have to talk about Lazlo. 

Barbie’s friend (Theresa) has the cutest fucking romance with the boy who builds all their spy equipment throughout the movie. They’re both really nerdy, but they don’t shove it down your throat and act annoying about it? It literally just comes up in casual conversation between the two of them and they just have fun talking about things they like. It was so fucking cute and it made the movie that much better. 

GAYNESS RANK: This movie is REALLY REALLY... APPEALING to gay people, even though it’s not really gay itself. The phantom thief, the spy outfits, all the girls riding motorcycles, the leather, the cool spy equipment... It just felt like it would appeal to a lot of gay people (and it did, cause we fuckin liked it). This movie is good. Please watch it and don’t let its low ranking on other lists dissuade you. We are right and they are wrong. 

2. THE BARBIE DIARIES (2006)

Before yall say anything, we know that this movie is fucking ugly. We clowned on some of the other movies for being ugly but this one truly takes the ugly cake. 

HOWEVER, that did not prevent this movie from being good. We fucking loved it. 

FIRST OF ALL, Barbie is in high school???? Which was so fresh to see???? There’s no magic, no princesses. It’s literally just a down-to-Earth teen drama movie involving Barbie, her friends, a love interest, and some mean girls. 

This had a really interesting plot that was actually kind of... complicated???? Dare I say??? We’re not stupid. There was just so much going on involving couples breaking up and getting back together, Barbie changing her motivations, how her friends react to what she’s doing, just... so much.

The only real criticism we have of this one is that the apology in this one was pretty rushed and didn’t feel Barbie’s friends should have forgiven her so easily for the shit she did. Other than that, though, this was a pretty great teen drama that I would highly recommend. I would definitely watch this one again, regardless of how ugly it is. 

GAYNESS RANK: Barbie had a clear love interest with a guy that was super sweet (sorry we didn’t mention him but he’s one of the better love interests, love u Kev) but mean girl teen drama is always a little gay? Plus how she would go back and forth between social circles was interesting. Also her and her friends are in a band, which is always cool and appealing to the gays, at least. 

1. BARBIE STARLIGHT ADVENTURE (2016)

We did it. We made it to the end. If there’s even one person who read this at all I would thank you but... you’ve lost along with us. BUT AT LEAST WE GET TO TELL YOU ABOUT STARLIGHT ADVENTURE. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This movie came out NOWHERE and fucking PUNCHED US IN THE FACE. When the wheel picked this one, we were starting to get burned out, and thought that since this was a newer Barbie movie it wouldn’t be very good. Boy, were we fucking wrong. 

This movie is so INTERESTING and HANDS DOWN has the best portrayal of Barbie as a character. This took such an interesting perspective on space travel, sci-fi, a slightly dystopian YA setting... it has so much going on but never feels like too much. 

Can we just start with how GORGEOUS this movie looks and how CUTE Barbie’s design is?!

She’s wearing a VEST and PANTS!!!!! FUCK YES. 

Anyway, the plot: She lives with her dad on this deserted planet, and she takes care of the animals, while also riding a hoverboard competitively. She’s contacted by some galactic king to join a team and fix the alignment of the stars? (sorry if it’s not exactly right lol its 4am). When accepting, she also meets this girl that she had been competing with at hoverboard competitions, and they develop a really sweet friendship with each other and a few other friends/teammates. 

Unlike the other Barbie movies, we kind of understand why everyone else looks up to Barbie as a leader figure. She makes decisions confidently and goes through so much character development. Even the villain goes through a sort of redemption arc, and it’s done fairly well!!! This is so much different from other Barbie movies. 

This feels like it could be, like, a legitimate movie that could be played in theaters rather than a straight-to-DVD Barbie movie. The animation in this was GORGEOUS, like miles better than 99% of the other movies. Plus, cute animal sidekick (FINALLY). 

We can’t gush about this enough, people should be made aware of this movie. It’s completely worth your time. IT’S ALSO ON NETFLIX. 

GAYNESS RANK: This is another one that’s moreso appealing to gay people rather than being gay itself. However, Barbie and the other girl that rides the hoverboard have a few really gay scenes, such as meeting up in a garden late at night and riding around. They giggle and laugh with each other and have a deep conversation about life and shit while staring up at the (gorgeously animated) sky. That def gets some points. 

That’s it those are all the 36 Barbie movies ranked based off of nothing but pure............................ hubris? Stupidity? Pride? I don’t know. I’m so sorry. We fucking hated watching most of these. 

Except for Starlight Adventure.... You can stay.

[dlwritings]

His Plan | Peter Parker

masterlist found here

pairing - Peter x reader word count - 3,514 warnings - I guess FFH spoilers lowkey A/N - 

summary - You’re far too shy to tell Peter how you feel about him. You always have been. He’s shy about it too, but decides to bite the bullet and confess a couple things to you on the school trip to Europe. His plan doesn’t, however, account for you feeling the same.

To say you didn’t exactly like high school was a bit of an understatement.

Under the dictionary definition of loner, it said: see (Y/N) (Y/L/N).

For most of middle school, you were unbothered by it, but then your freshman, sophomore, and junior years passed, and you were over it. At that point, you were so close to the end, everyone already had their friends. If you tried to squeeze into a group, you’d just be intruding.

Not that there were many groups you wanted to be a part of anyway. There was only one. It wasn’t exactly a group, per say, just a few people you observed from afar who seemed like cool people to hang out with.

Okay, maybe cool was pushing it.

To the rest of the school, kids like Michelle Jones, Peter Parker, Ned Leeds, and Betty Brant weren’t exactly cool. To you, though, they were exactly the kind of people you could see yourself spending time with. They didn’t all exactly hang out together. Obviously Peter and Ned were inseparable, but MJ and Betty were like background characters to their friendship’s main storyline. You would’ve done anything to be cast as an additional role.

The thing was, you didn’t know how to make friends. You hadn’t done it since elementary school, and you figured people were a lot harder to befriend now. You couldn’t exactly share a box of crayons and become immediate best friends in science class like you could in kindergarten.

When the school announced a small class trip to Europe, you were really eager to go. Even if you spent the whole time alone, who wouldn’t want to spend two weeks in Europe? And maybe, just maybe, you’d finally get the courage to talk to some people.

On the plane ride, your seat was right behind Peter and Ned. You felt like your stomach was filled with butterflies. Sure, you wanted to be friends with Ned and Peter, but sometimes (all the time) you wanted to be a little bit more than friends with Peter. You had gone to school with him since elementary school, and had been crushing on him just as long. Sometimes you would stare at him from across the room and look away the minute he looked back. Even if he smiled in your direction, you cursed yourself for getting caught. He probably thought you were the weird loner girl, just like everyone else did. No one wants the weird loner kid staring at them. Sitting behind them was perfect because you could stare at Peter without him ever realizing it. Not that the back of his head was particularly infatuating, but you were going to take what you could get.

About halfway through the eight hour plane ride, you felt your eyes start to close. You leaned your head against the window and folded your arms across your chest, trying to get comfortable. Just as you felt yourself start to dose off, the person next to you -a classmate whose name you didn’t actually know- stood up, startling you back to alert consciousness. Switching seats with her was Peter. “Hey,” he said awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. Was he talking to you? “Uh, is it okay if I sit next to you? The, uh, the lady in front of me and Ned’s got really strong perfume. It’s giving me a headache.” You assumed the girl next to you had already agreed to this deal, so you just nodded. Inside though, your stomach was turning. Shit. How could you stare at him now? He’d notice you for sure. And how were you supposed to sleep? All of your senses were on overdrive. Every breath he took rang in your ears. The fact that his knee was only a few inches away from yours made your skin burn. You could smell his cologne (Deodorant? Laundry detergent?) every time you breathed. Yeah. There was no way you could sleep.

You were both quiet for what felt like hours, but you were sure it had only been a few minutes. “Hey, do you maybe want to watch a movie?” he asked. “I, I got this headphone splitter. Unless, sorry, unless you wanted to sleep.”

“I’ll, I’ll watch a movie,” you said. Peter’s face lit up and he fumbled to plug his headphone splitter into all the places it needed to go. Watching him made you bite your lip to hide your smile. Why was he so cute? More importantly, why was he talking to you? When he finally got it all connected, you started scrolling through the movies.You were both torn between Monsters Inc, one of the Harry Potter’s, or the most “recent” It movie. You were both kind of grateful that no movies came out during The Blip (With half of the world’s directors, producers, actors, and what not dusted, who was going to make a movie?), because it meant you didn’t miss much in the cinematic world. You were never a fan of scary movies, but Peter seemed kind of excited about watching It. All he had to do was give you a look -Was it possible for a person to be part puppy?- and you caved.

It didn’t take you long to regret it. You jumped at every scary part and had to cover your mouth multiple times to stop from screaming. There was one part where Pennywise started to climb out of the projector screen, and you ended up reaching out and grabbing Peter’s arm, closing your eyes and turning your head away. You felt Peter tense up, so you immediately let go. “Sorry,” you said, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. You took your earbuds out and let out a shaky breath. “I, maybe this is just a little too spooky for me. I think I’m going to get some rest.”

“No!” Peter said. “Uh, we can watch another movie? It’s no big deal. I’m not that into this anyway.”

“It’s okay,” you said. “I’m feeling pretty tired. I want to make sure I’m awake when we get to Venice. You finish it up. Tell me if it’s any good.”

To avoid any further awkward interaction, you closed your eyes and leaned your head on the window again, mentally running through all the things you had done wrong.

When you got to Venice, you were all given your rooms and some free time to explore. Mr. Harrington wanted you all to meet at a restaurant at 6:00 for dinner, which gave you four hours. You, as had been your plan, wandered off alone. It had been your dream for ages to go to Italy, and there you were. You brought your camera -an old film one that had once belonged to your mom- and felt like the ultimate tourist, but you loved it. You knew some people liked to blend in with the locals when travelling, but you didn’t mind standing out.

All you really wanted to do was walk the streets. You didn’t want to go to a museum or pay for a gondola ride. You just wanted to spend a few hours staring at the beauty of Venice. It was so different from Queens, and you already knew the few days you would spend there wouldn’t be enough. You were only about a block away from the hotel you were all staying at when you heard someone call your name. You turned and saw Peter jogging over to you. Your cheeks instantly felt warm. You stopped walking and let him catch up to you. “Where’re you headed?” he asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.

You shrugged. “Just gonna walk around a bit.”

“Do, would you, do you maybe want some company?” he asked. You bit your lip and nodded.

“Yeah. That’d be nice.”

Peter smiled. “Ah, uh, cool. Cool. Okay. Let’s go.”

The two of you started to walk towards the center of town. At first, you were both quiet. You couldn’t think of what to say to him. You didn’t even know Peter knew who you were. Now it felt like he was around every corner on this trip, and it had only just started. How were you supposed to talk to this person you had spent (basically) your entire life pining after?

“This is my first time out of the states,” you said. You didn’t know why. It was just the first thing you thought of, and you had to fill the weird silence. “Have you ever?”

“I went to Germany, uh, before The Blip,” Peter said. “Mr. Stark, it was a trip he took me on.”

Of course. Of course the first thing you say brings up a memory of Tony. Nice going (Y/N). Just the person he wanted to talk about. “I’m sorry,” you said, shaking your head. “I didn’t mean-”

“It’s okay,” Peter said. “It was a fun trip. I, uh, I met a lot of really cool people.” You knew you should’ve ended the conversation there, but you and your stupid big mouth had to keep talking.

“Do you miss him a lot?” you asked. “Like, how close were you guys?” Peter cleared his throat and stared ahead of him. You turned to look and swore you saw tears in his eyes. “I’m sorry,” you said, shaking your head. “That was dumb. Of course you don’t want to talk about him. I’m-”

“No, no, it’s fine,” he said, assuring you again. “We were really close after, uh, after Germany. I just wish I, I got to spend more time with him after The Blip, you know? It was like I was back, and then he was gone. It didn’t really feel fair.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “But I learned a lot from him. He was cool. So, yeah, I miss him a lot.” You wanted to ask more questions, but you already felt like you were intruding. If you wanted to get Peter to fall in love with you (Was that the goal?), this probably wasn’t the way to do it.

Peter moved on from that conversation really well. Sure, he was a little awkward, but you two ended up talking a lot. You talked about favorite movies, plans for after high school, family, and hobbies. You found yourself falling more and more in love with him with every step. A few times your hands brushed together, but you both jumped away at the contact.

When it was time for dinner, you and Peter didn’t want to rejoin everyone. Still, you knew Mr. Harrington would go crazy if you didn’t go back to the class. They’d think it was Washington DC all over again, like when Peter first disappeared. Why had Peter disappeared?

“Hey Pete?” you asked as you got nearer to the restaurant. He looked at you, a small smirk on his face. You realized that you had just given him a nickname, or used one that wasn’t reserved for you. “Sorry, uh, Peter,” you said with an awkward laugh.

“No, no, you can call me Pete,” he said. “It’s just, not a lot of people do.” You were both quiet. You had a moment where you wondered if Mr. Stark called him that. Something in his eyes told you he did. “Anyway, what were you going to say?”

“In DC,” you said, “when you all went on the decathlon trip, everyone said you disappeared when they were in the monument.”

“Yeah, I, uh,” he stuttered, “uh, I just kind of, I wandered around. Kind of like now. Like we’re wandering around.”

“And then Spider-Man showed up,” you said, “and you didn’t see him?”

“No,” Peter said. “But, you know, I talk to him all the time. With Mr. Stark and everything.”

“Did you talk to Mr. Stark about it?” you asked. “Did he know Spider-Man was gonna be there?”

“Yeah, he was really impressed,” Peter said. “Said it was a good thing he acted so quickly.”

You tried to get a good read on Peter’s face without it seeming too obvious that you were staring. You didn’t know him that well, but he seemed like a terrible liar. There was definitely something he wasn’t telling you, but you just didn’t know what it was. You also figured it wasn’t your place to force anything out of him. After all, this was pretty much the first time you had spoken to him. Hadn’t you already pried enough?

Dinner flew by, as did the rest of the evening. You spent most of it glued to Peter’s side, which meant you were glued to Ned, MJ, and Betty too. How had that happened? You hadn’t even been on the trip for 24 hours and you were already spending time with the people you had been wanting to since you were 14. And you were pretty sure they were having fun.

When dinner ended, you all headed back to the hotel. Mr. Harrington wanted to make sure you all had enough energy for the day ahead of you, so he wanted everyone to get a lot of sleep. You said goodnight to everyone and headed off to your room. You couldn’t fight the smile on your face as you changed into your pajamas. What a day you had. You shot your parents a quit text telling them how much fun you were having and decided to head out to the balcony. You couldn’t stop staring at the beauty of Venice. You brought your camera out, snapping pictures of anything your lens could see.

There was a knock at your door, so you set your camera down and jogged over to the door. You assumed it was Mr. Harrington checking in, but you opened it and found Peter. “Oh, hey,” you said, furrowing your eyebrows. You were suddenly feeling self-conscious in your pajama shorts and tank top. Peter was wearing basketball shorts and a t-shirt, and his cheeks seemed a little pink.

“Hey,” he said. “I was just, uh, it’s, I was wondering if, you maybe wanted to watch a movie. Since, you know, we didn’t finish the one on the plane.” You suddenly realized he had his backpack on, because he took it off and dug through his bag. He pulled out a few movies, dropping some of them accidentally. He let out a mumbled curse word and picked them up, then showed them to you. He brought some Pixar movies, his Star Wars box set, and a couple random comedies like 21 Jump Street and Neighbors. You grinned and stepped aside, letting him into the room. Before you shut the door, you looked down the hall to make sure Mr. Harrington wasn’t there. You didn’t think guys and girls were allowed in the same room past the curfew he had established for the night: 9:00. It was 9:15. You shut the door before anyone could walk by.

Peter was awkward, needless to say. He kept scratching the back of his neck, looking anywhere but at you. You didn’t know what to do. You finally plopped on the bed and smiled at Peter. “What do you want to watch?” you asked. “You’ve got a lot of choices.”

Peter laid all the DVDs out on your bed, letting you see the full array. “You pick,” Peter said. “I picked last time. Unsuccessfully.” You giggled and glanced over the titles, finally settling on Cars.

“This is one of my favorite Pixar movies,” you said. “A lot of people don’t like it, but I do.”

“It’s good,” Peter agreed. “Totally underrated.”

Peter popped the DVD in the TV (Both of you said a mental thanks that it had a DVD player built into it.) and joined you on the bed. You kept a good amount of space between the two of you, both of you really tense and unsure.

Your mind was reeling with the why. Why was Peter there? Why was he hanging out with you so much on the trip? Why was his hand inching closer to yours? Why did he smell so good?

Peter was thinking about the how. How should he tell you he liked you? How was he supposed to get this girl he’s been liking for his whole life to fall for him? How could he hold your hand without being weird? How did you look so cute all the time?

You both decided to speak your minds at the same time.

“(Y/N) I-”

“Can I-”

You both stopped and looked at each other awkwardly. You reached for the remote and paused the movie. “You can go,” you said.

“No, no, you go,” Peter said. “What were you going to ask me?”

“I just wanted to know, if, um,” you said, “maybe, uh, I guess, like-” What were you trying to ask him? Why are you talking to me? Do you have a crush on me? Are you aware of how deeply I love you? “You go first. I lost my train of thought.”

“Um,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck, “I just, I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a long time, but I’ve never known how. And I see that it’s really, it’s probably weird. You’re probably going to think I’m really weird. It’s just, okay, so I should just say it, right? Instead of stammering like an idiot. I should just say it.”

“Peter-”

“I really like you, (Y/N),” he said. “Like, I’ve liked you for a really long time. And I know it’s weird because, because you don’t even talk to me, and I’m sure you didn’t even know I existed until this trip, but-”

“Didn’t know you existed?” you repeated with raised eyebrows. “I didn't think you knew I existed. Peter, I’ve had a crush on you since, like, kindergarten.”

“W-Wait, are you, are you being serious?” Peter stuttered.

“Yes I’m being serious,” you said, laughing and shoving his arm slightly.

“Oh,” Peter said plainly. “Cool.”

“Cool?”

“I don’t know how to respond to this!” he said. “I didn’t think we were going to get this far. I didn’t have a plan for if you liked me back.”

“A plan?” you said, raising an eyebrow. Peter’s cheeks turned pink right away.

“Uh, yeah,” he said. “I had this, this really big plan of how I was going to tell you I liked you and then, and I was, oh-” He cut himself off by digging through his backpack again. “I, I got you this. It’s okay if you totally hate it, I just thought-” He cut himself off with a sigh and handed you a small bag. In it was a necklace with an odd, small charm on the end. You looked closer and discovered it was-

“A spider?” you said. You looked up at Peter to see his cheeks were even more red than they had been earlier.

“That’s the other thing I wanted to tell you,” he said. “I’m, uh, well, I’m-”

“Oh!” you said, understanding washing over you. “You’re Spider-Man!”

“Shh, shh,” Peter said, waving his hands for you to lower your voice. You giggled and bit your lip, spinning the necklace in your fingers. You handed it to Peter and gathered your hair over one of your shoulders.

“You think you could put it on?” you asked him. He swallowed and nodded, then watched you turn your back to him. If Peter was a little more bold, he’d probably start kissing the skin of your neck like he had always wanted to. But he wasn’t, so he just used his shaking hands to clasp the necklace around your neck. Peter let out a small sigh as you turned and revealed the spider charm resting on your chest. “Thanks, Pete,” you said, letting your fingers fiddle with the charm. Peter just nodded, speechless by how well everything was going. This was definitely not part of the plan. But he didn’t mind.

“So,” he said, finally clearing his throat and finding his voice again, “should we watch the movie now?”

“Or, we could maybe not watch the movie?” you suggested.

“Oh do you want to watch a different-” Peter cut himself off in embarrassment as he realized what you meant. “Oh. Oh yeah. Yeah that, that could-”

You just laughed and grabbed his hand, pulling him with you onto the bed. He fell with an oof at your side as you pressed play on the movie. Feeling a little more confident than you had a few minutes prior, you cuddled up to Peter’s side, resting your head on his shoulder and your hand on his stomach. Peter put his arm around you, hoping you couldn’t feel how fast his heart was racing.

You could, but you didn’t mind because yours was too.

“So, so we are watching the movie?” Peter asked with furrowed eyebrows. You just laughed and rubbed your thumb along his stomach.

“You don’t need to have a plan for everything, Peter. Let’s just see where the night takes us.”

—– —– —– —– —–

TAGLIST

@bangtan-serendipity | @planetdemon | @the-singing-clown406 | @tomshufflepuff

[shakespeareanwannabe]

Engineering the Future

Hi everyone! So this is my second Supernatural fic, the first one I cross-posted here on Tumblr, though I have written a couple of other things on this wonderful series. So here’s the thing: this is a bit of a project that I’ve been working on to keep myself writing even when I feel like I have nothing to say.

So here’s the deal: I’m going to write one one-shot per episode. Multiple friends say that I’m driving myself to drink, but so far it’s been fairly smooth sailing. If you guys have any ideas about certain episodes, I’d be happy to hear them, but know that I’ve got a list of prompts for three quarters of the episodes, so I may not write your prompt. But I’d love to hear your ideas. Just, no Wincest or Destiel because I honestly don’t ship either of them (no hate please, it’s just the way I feel. And no, I don’t hate anyone who does ship them). Just brotherly love here!

This chapter is tagged to episode 1x01, Pilot. Hope you all enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. This is a work of fiction based on characters from The CW’s Supernatural, created by Eric Kripke.

To completely plagiarize someone else, “Being his real brother I could feel I lived in his shadows, but I never have and I do not now. I live in his glow.” Who said that? Why was his relationship with his brother so important? Doesn’t matter. This isn’t about him. This is about them, and the moments we don’t get to see.

*****     *****     *****     *****     *****     *****     *****

Dean had imagined this day since that balmy July evening when a rickety tin door had slammed shut and seemingly separated his family forever.

Depending on his mood, there were several different scenarios that would play out. When he was at the bottom of his third bottle, he would imagine showing up at his front door, having him open the door, stare at him, then shut it again without a word. The second bottle was kinder, allowing them to pass on the streets, perhaps nodding at each other before the one went on with his normal life, leaving the other to thank a God that he didn’t believe in that he had at least seen him one last time. The first bottle didn’t give him enough hope to even attempt to dream up a reunion with his little brother.

The fourth bottle was Dean’s favourite. He would get an excited phone call and drive all the way to Stanford just so that Sam could tell him he was getting married face to face. They would settle into a table at some hoity-toity bar or into a booth at some frou-frou café and would talk as though no time had passed. The natural lighting would fade to black and neither of them would move. Topics of conversation would wax and wane until they found themselves in the same companionable silence that graced the majority of their childhood together.

Sam would eventually sigh sadly and mutter something about having to be in court early the next morning, to which Dean would make a crude joke that would have Sam blushing behind the ears as he laughed. Dean would walk him to his car and deal with the chick-flicky hug bestowed upon him by a drunk and/or over-caffeinated Little Brother. As they pull apart, Sam would get all shy and red again as he stammered through saying that he hoped Dean would be his Best Man (because screw this Brady kid that introduced the happy couple). Dean would laugh, hug his brother, completely deny the tears in his eyes, and say “Who else could fill those shoes, bitch?”

Dean would hang around in California for a couple of months and relish in being stationary for the first time since he was four. He would meet Jessica, automatically start calling her Jessie, and plan a small bachelor party for Sammy and his college pals before taking his kid brother on a kick ass, blow out ‘Brochelor’ party in Vegas to make up for every birthday, Christmas, and any other calendar holiday that they had missed out on. On the day of the wedding he would straighten out his brother’s tie, all the while denying that he had asked the guy at the store how to do so. He would give the kid the picture of Mom that he carried around in his wallet with the explanation that she needed to be there with him on this day. He would stand up next to his little brother during the ceremony, give the most awesome speech ever written during the reception, and dance with his new sister-in-law when the time came.

While he and the other, less important guests waved the happy couple off (he had even given them the Impala to borrow for their honeymoon road trip up the Pacific Coast Highway) he would get a phone call from Dad, saying that he had finally pinned down the son of a bitch who had killed Mom, and that he needed his son there with him. Dean would hotwire a car and go. He’d stand side-by-side with his father as they ganked the sucker, turn, and shake his father’s hand before walking away from the life.

He’d stand hat in hand on Sam’s doorstep when they returned from their honeymoon, praying that his baby brother still had room for his older, less intelligent but far more handsome brother in his new married life. Sam would laugh and pull him into a hug, ensuring him that of course he would always need his big brother. After all, he and Jessie apparently hadn’t come home from their month-long vacation on their own, and this kid was gonna need a really cool uncle to bitch at when his/her parents were giving them a hard time. Any nephew of his was gonna be educated in the ways of the Impala, rock music, and the Dean Winchester Scale of Burger Perfection. Any niece of his would also be educated in these things, but he would need to be there more for Sam when the boys came snooping around, because what was more intimidating than two guys over 6-feet tall who had marksmen’s abilities?

Dean would maybe become a cop, or a mechanic, or maybe even a firefighter, but one thing he would do for sure is protect his family. He’d gank any evil bastard that came within a thousand miles of that two story, white picket fenced house on Normal Boulevard.

Maybe he’d settle down, maybe not. All that was important to him was that his Sammy was happy.

That was all that would ever matter to him.

So, when it came down to it, Dean would have traded everything he had for it to have not happened like this. Never like this.

*****     *****     *****     *****     *****     *****     *****

Sam had imagined this day since that first night alone at Stanford.

At first, he’d dreamed that Dean would show up, kick his roommate out, and curl up in the twin bed approximately six feet away from him. Dean would go to the registrar and apply to the school and get in, obviously, because his big brother was a genius. He’d probably take engineering, because Dean could do things with machinery that Sam could never have dreamed about. They’d watch each other’s backs on and off campus, and when one of the dorm rooms ended up being haunted, they’d take care of it, as though they had never been off the job. Dean would go on to open his own body shop, while working side projects like helping to rebuild homes for people who lost them in fires or natural (and supernatural) disasters. Sam would become a kick ass lawyer and help the law protect people. He’d help Dean on the weekends at the shop or with the houses, because they were brothers and why wouldn’t he? They’d still go out and watch the stars when they could, and they’d make sure to go to the first game of every season for the Jayhawks. They’d make a weekend of it. Just Sam, Dean, and the Impala. Of course, Jess would be fine with it. She’d love Dean as much as he did, because what wasn’t there to love? Eventually, he and Jess would get married and Dean would be his Best Man (even though Brady would throw a fit about it, but Dean was right, he was better off without douchebags like Brady in his life), then go on to be the best uncle to the kids they would have. Dean would meet a nice girl and they’d settle down too, and soon it would be Winchester Weekends, filled with barbeques and Little League games and dance recitals and tinkering with the Impala while drinking a cold one together and hiding from their wives and kids.

A few months in, the dream changed. One of the kids in Sam’s classes had a brother in the military, who surprised her by showing up during lecture wearing his fatigues and announcing that he had been honorably discharged and was staying home for good. She’d broken down into tears and hugged him until the professor had just wiped his eyes and dismissed the class, claiming that he didn’t want to bring the room down by talking about the Battle of Yorktown in 1781.

Sam started imagining that something similar would happen to him. Dean and Dad would kill the thing that had killed Mom, then Dean would stroll right into his Economics class wearing his torn jeans, steel toed boots, band shirt and leather jacket (the uniform of one of the longest living hunters out there, and the youngest to boot), acting as though he owned the joint. Sam would launch himself into his brother’s arms, not even minding that that cute girl Jessica sat only a few rows behind him, and bury his face in his brother’s shoulder to hide his tears. Dean would clasp him around the back of his neck and whisper that he and Dad had gotten the damned thing, and that he was quitting the life. Dad would keep hunting with Uncle Bobby, Pastor Jim, and Caleb as back up when needed, but he was out.

Dean would help him hook up with Jessica, because he had seen the way they looked at each other, and Dean couldn’t stand the lovesick puppy dog eyes anymore, then the rest of the daydream would stay the same. Engineering, lawyering, cars, court cases, house building, Jayhawks, star gazing, the Impala, wives, kids, all culminating in the two of them sitting side by side at some Old Folks Home, the lines between what they knew and what the world knew blurred by old age and one too many hard knocks to the head courtesy of any one of monsters of the week that they used to hunt. They’d sit on the front porch, drinking whatever alcohol they could get their hands on, loudly debating the proper way to kill a wendigo (Sam would say iron because he knows his big brother’s mind is fading and he needs him to stick around a while longer because Jess was already gone and he wasn’t quite ready to go and he doesn’t want to be left alone, not again).

No matter which scenario he dreamt up (defending Dean in court, forcing him into retirement when a werewolf gets the better of him and his left leg is basically useless so Sam brings him home with him, or even something as simple as Sam just picking up the phone and asking him to visit (because it’s DEAN, and there’s nothing he won’t do for his little brother, and Sam knows it), there was one common thread that remained the same, and that was that the time they had spent apart held no consequences. They would just fall back into being brothers, knowing that if they were back to back or side by side they would be fine.

That’s why, when Dean bursts through the bedroom door and drags him out of the burning brownstone, Sam couldn’t bring himself to fight at full strength. Dean was there. As much as Sam wished it had been any other scenario he had dreamt up (and not the nightmare that had been plaguing him for weeks), he knew that his big brother was there. And since when had there been any problem that Dean couldn’t solve? He could’ve been an engineer, after all.

*****     *****     *****     *****     *****     *****     *****

[vocaotome]

Interactive Queer Fantasy Novel Review - Moonrise

A couple months ago I was invited to try out Moonrise, a text based urban fantasy interactive novel by Natalie Cannon. Although I usually stick to visual novels, since I had played and enjoyed other choice of games before, I decided to give Moonrise a try and write a review for it.

While the game had an interesting premise with smooth, enjoyable prose and witty modern humor, my overall experience has been a rather mixed bag, probably because I don’t appear to fall into the specific audience for the game. I’ll give a vague outline of the plot and share my impressions while trying to not give too much away. In order to prevent constantly switching between “the player”/“you”/“us” etc, when referring to the character we are playing I’m going to use “Heather” (a name from the list of choices available, you can also type in whatever you wish) and “she”.

Full review under the cut, or on wordpress if you prefer it instead.

Gameplay

The basic gameplay of Moonrise is the same as most games on the choice of games platform, all text with no graphics and only stat based choices. The game offers the option to choose between she/her and they/them pronouns at the very start, but as per the basic game premise (supernatural celebration of queer femininity), player cannot identify as male in this game so no he/his pronouns. Choosing between cis/trans/other/not saying is also available, though I felt that there was an assumption that the player is not cis or at least is someone who is pretty invested in using specific pronouns (early game it's mentioned that "you" talked to Alice about your pronouns).

While the game description claims that the main character may be asexual and there are dialogue choices which allow you to refuse romantic advances saying you are asexual, I felt that the narration didn’t really reflect that since there were many parts in the common scenes (regardless of route or picked choices) where you express strong attraction towards beautiful women. The 3 love interests were pretty likable and varied in their backstories and personality, although I wish all of them got equal amount of screentime (your roommate inevitably gets more scenes than the otherworldly goddess you meet in the last chapter). You can date just a single person or multiple people at once.

The players also get to choose between being “Fierce” (20% initial boost to Bloodthirst, Uncanny, Defense attributes) or “Civilized” (20% boost to Empathy, Responsibility, Snark attributes). The choices throughout the game either raise these attributes further or improve your relationship with the love interests.

For those who are concerned about homophobia, Moonrise very briefly mentions the existence of homophobic people but for the most part all the characters treat LGBTQA+ people as very normal (example: Heather finds Alice's puppy love for a girl in her class very cute), so no need to worry on that account.

 Plot

The pace of the game is pretty fast right from the start, we begin with “Heather” directly being thrown into a situation where the player has just transformed into a wolf. Another werewolf called “Alice” soon finds us while Heather is confusedly struggling between canine instincts and human reason. I really liked the part where "you" still are convinced that you are a 100% pure wolf and are completely operating under that impression, lol. All the wolf related terms also are rather endearing, time to refer to all my close friends as my packmates <3

At first I was a little bit wary of Alice, who is revealed (within 5 minutes of playing) to be the one to have turned Heather into a werewolf, but she grew on me very quickly, especially with her youthful admiration of Heather and the open vulnerability she shows to us. I’m also grateful to her for helping Heather turn back human, the idea of getting stuck as a wolf forever (which Alice mentioned happening to some people) sounded pretty disturbing. (I did giggle at how Heather was like “bleh, wolves have it better, no student loans”)

Alice returns together with Heather to Heather’s home which she shares with her best friend and roommate Rosario, the first LI we run into. I liked Rosario’s character and sense of humor a lot (random: I bust a lung laughing when the narration mentioned them lightly smelling of weed), though I wish the narration used less jargon when explaining Rosario’s lifestyle as an adventurous and dynamic queer person (this issue popped up a couple of times later in the game too, though not frequently enough to be a deal breaker). The below paragraph made me stare for a solid minute before I managed to comprehend everything.

Rosario is super relieved to see Heather safe and quickly warms up to Alice, and in order to develop a relationship with Rosario (also if you’re interested in building up your empathy stat, very useful for diplomatic options) we must be friendly towards Alice and let her stay in our home. To be honest it's hard to be an asshole to Alice, she’s a cutie. I liked it when Alice was described during this scene to have corkscrew hair and dark skin, yay for varied designs!

Anyway, around this time we learn that Heather is a doctor-in-training working for their residency. I laughed at the part where after picking a choice, the prose apologized to me for doubting that I'd call work to inform my circumstances.This is the point where the free part ends.

Regardless of whether we go to our job, meet our coworkers and interact with patients, or go all SCREW U to your job and hang around in a park (irresponsible, imo, you’ve been missing for a day because of this whole wolf business), you run into the second LI, Chika, a seemingly cold and quiet young doctor who works in the same place as Heather and is actually also a werewolf.

She also seems to have harbored a strong crush on Heather for quite a while, even during routes where I've acted very distant towards her so far she pretty much immediately confesses and we get the option to kiss her. Personally I prefer more buildup in romantic relationships in my stories, but I guess this isn’t surprising considering that we have already spent about 2 chapters on the prologue and this is a short game consisting of only 8 chapters.

The next few chapters are a mix of slice of life situations where Alice, Rosario and Heather blossom into a pretty cute makeshift family, with optional scenes of bonding in wolf form with Alice. Alice also gives us a lot of information about the vampire and werewolf lore of this world, and informs Heather about the 2 opposing factions of the supernatural society: the masquerade, who prefer to keep the human and supernatural worlds separate and operate as an organization under strict rules of secrecy, and the rogues, who prefer a wild and free approach in life and wish to go public about the existence of supernatural creatures.

Not gonna lie, the masquerade sounds amazing on paper, being their part apparently means getting your university tuition paid and guaranteed jobs after graduation, that sounds like a dream lol. However they are a bit to stuck up for Alice’s tastes, especially because of her foster parent who is someone high up in the Masquerade and pretty unpleasant. Rogues sound rather bad at this point since Alice mentions being “hunted” early game and they are supposed to be the ones “after” her.

In Chapter 6 we run into Cassandra, a vampire and the foster parent mentioned above, who pretty much kidnaps us to her place. Over the course of a very tense and threatening conversation, she gives us plenty of reasons to NOT consider signing up for the masquerade, though I think that was the opposite of her intention. The game's description of Cassandra's attitude towards young people like they were "particularly ugly vase that begs to be shattered" sounds so accurate to how some old people act lol. We have to escape Cassandra by choosing either diplomacy or violence, and choosing the wrong option that you don’t have enough attributes for can get you killed.

(Random: Cassandra being portrayed positively in some future scenes after claiming to eat her servants is unnerving. I hope that was a joke ;;;;)

If chapter 6 was the one familiarizing us with the masquerade, chapter 7 is the equivalent part for rogues. We meet up with Chika who is relieved to see Heather safe (even out of her route she acts way too familiar when it comes to physical distance with Heather, her cold queen settings vanish when it involves the person she likes, lol), and reveals herself as the leader of the rogues. We get a bunch of information about the rogues’ motivations and plans, and the misunderstanding that they want to harm Alice is cleared up.  (It’s also possible to get some more explanation earlier in the game if you acted all wolf-y right from the start and went on a solo wandering trip which Chika joins)

After the conversation Chika springs a sudden offer for a date on Heather, which made me giggle during the walkthroughs where I rejected her hard. It was extra funny because we had been talking about serious stuff™ right until that point. It is possible to go on a date with her and have a sexual encounter afterwards. All dates in this game can end in sex, but it is optional.

There is a scene with Rosario where we hang out and have some heart-to-heart talk soon after the encounter with Chika, and this can end up being a date depending on our choices, regardless of whether we are already dating Chika or not. I think there is a malfunctioning romance flag here because Rosario talks as if I’m dating Chika even if I have refrained from ALL romantic choices with Chika.

At the start of chapter 8 we are forced to choose between the masquerade and the rogues, though considering the way the representatives from these groups (Cassandra and Chika) have treated us until this point, choosing the masquerade seems like madness.

~~~~~~~

If we choose the Masquerade, Alice and Heather visit Cassandra again to join the society. We meet people other than Cassandra who thankfully are pleasant enough, and suddenly a masquerade member came to seek Cassandra’s help and we ended up being asked to help perform some ritual to teleport somewhere and rescue/steal Dracula's brides??? What? I was very confused during this part because the story flow suddenly became very fast and I was having difficulty keeping up.

During this mission there is a possible dead end (ironic, the people who we went to rescue end up accidentally killing Heather), but as long as things go smoothly, we encounter Ishara, the last LI who a special werewolf from some other far away place (planet? dimension?) and treated like a goddess by the supernatural community because of her special powers and JAW DROPPING BEAUTY. She likes the way Heather treats her casually unlike everyone else, and there is another sudden date offer.

After the rescuing of Dracula brides, we get a slice of life-ish scene with them, Cassandra, Ishara and Rosario in a coffee shop. This is where we finally get some backstory on Cassandra and learn about some of her positive points, being a lesbian Robin Hood of sorts isn’t something I expected from her XD

Although I don’t think it’s possible to keep your relationship with Chika intact in this path, you can talk with your other 2 love interests about the nature of your relationship (open/closed, romantic/queerplatonic). There was one playthrough when I somehow found Ishara sitting on Heather’s lap and kissing Rosario, wild.

Before the final fight, there is a brief scene where Chika meets up with Heather and is quite heartbroken over her choosing the masquerade. Soon after that the day comes where we face off against the Rogues who have decided on a kill or get killed approach.

~~~~~~~~

If we choose the Rogues instead, there is no falling out with Chika (she’s ecstatic to have Heather join them) and we visit the Rogues’ hangout instead. After some socialization we embark on a journey to find Alice’s biological dad who is a powerful but loner werewolf and a possible valuable ally for our fight against the masquerade. This course of option made a lot more sense to me than the Dracula bride thing in the masquerade route.

We manage to locate the man and he joins our cause (I laughed at Alice and his naked reunion, the side effect of transforming between wolf and human forms), not only because he’s annoyed by the masquerade’s way of doing things but also because he suspects them being involved in the death of Alice’s mother and Alice becoming a werewolf (werewolf genes aren’t hereditary). In the Masquerade route Cassandra claims to not have done it, so I’m curious what exactly happened.

We also run into Ishara while on this mission (I’m curious how she is here instead of wherever she was during the other route, how exactly did the butterfly effect work?), and similar to the Masquerade route, get the chances to flirt with her and go on a date. It was interesting how Ishara sex scene has a little more detail than others, and extra text about being trans if your character is trans too (If you are cis she just mentions it during the date).

After the mission there is a party where we can do a lot of socializing, and similar to the masquerade route, confirm with your love interest(s) about the nature of your relationship. Then once again it is the time for the final fight, only this time it’s the Masquerade attacking us.

~~~~~~

I must admit that I was somewhat disappointed with how brief the final fight was. The few paragraphs leading up to the fight are pretty much the same in the Masquerade and the Rogues version, then we simply get to choose between persuading for peace, fighting to kill or to defend. Every one of these choices only have one paragraph explaining the result. During my first playthrough this caught me by surprise as I was expecting to actually read a tear jerking speech about living together in peace, not just a super concise summary. The epilogue is also basically just that, a sentence each about the final fate of the characters who stayed with you until the end.

 Final thoughts

Writing: The prose is where the game shines. The usage of uncommon (but not unknown) vocabulary in the more metaphorical imagery was lovely.

However, there are places where some unfamiliar LGBT terms or custom pronouns caught me off guard and made me pause to look stuff up. Personally I believe using too many technical terms in stories makes dialogue sound a bit forced and disrupts narration, but thankfully such instances weren’t very common in moonrise.

The humor was great, me frequently laughing over random things while describing the plot should be proof enough of that. The worldbuilding was done with a lot of care and the flow of plot was pretty logical for the most part, but towards the end I couldn't comprehend the logic behind some events and even after multiple playthroughs I haven't found any explanations for a couple of things, like the real mystery surrounding Alice's mother's death.

Characterization: Characterization was good but varying in quantity- Rosario and Alice were pretty well rounded character development wise and I loved their cute family-like interactions. I was all AWWW when Heather called the place with them her home ;v;

Compared to that Chika felt more of an enigma, but her date and the optional running off into the woods scene still gave her some chances to develop (though it mostly confirmed that she was a good person wishing for freedom and we didn’t really learn much about her personal emotions aside from liking Heather). Poor Ishara got even less chances, so all I managed to grasp was her loneliness. All three of the romance interests shared the issue of overly rapid romantic developments though, though in varying extents (repeat: poor Ishara).

Some side characters like Cassandra got detailed backstories, but it’s hard to grow to like her after experiencing ends where we got killed at her hand over something small. Because this story is only available in the masquerade path and there is no foreshadowing about her positive qualities before the route split, a lot of people might simply never play this path.

Player customization: I also wish the game description didn’t imply that the player character can be customized a lot. Considering how it was implied that the player had an abusive family and is trying to become a doctor because she wants to do and be “better’, imo the already present backstory is too defined for story to be immersive. I personally don’t seek to self insert so it’s not a problem for me (I PREFER this to a blank slate), but it may be for others who came into the game with wrong expectations.

One more thing I would like to see implemented in future versions is choosing if I was polyromantic/polysexual or not at the start of the game. Regardless of whether the player has locked into a romance route or not, "you" still keep thirsting after the beautiful possible LIs that cross your path. I found that rather distracting during my first playthrough since I was playing the game while planning to develop a monogamist cis lesbian character and I felt a disconnect whenever it happened.

Ending: Lastly, the ending. I don’t mind the short epilogues, but the description of the “final fight” was simply so short that it felt anticlimactic, so I will just hope that the ending will be more extended with detailed scenes in a later version.

In summary? Good prose, interesting worldbuilding but too-short romance and rushed ending. Worth a read if you like modern fiction with fantasy supernatural elements involving lots of queer characters and aren’t overly critical in your evaluation of the flow and logic in a story. The game is really cheap though, the amount of content you get is definitely worth $1.99, so if the game sounds like your cup of tea go ahead and try it out!

P/S: A short guide on maxing out the relationship points: being nice to the LI is a given, go on dates with them, and pick the following choices which might not seem obvious (I might be missing some choices that seem obvious to me but actually aren’t orz):

Chika: Ask Naoki to move but politely, Hold her hand (during date), Ask to come up for “coffee” (sex/literal coffee), Don’t choose the masquerade (duh)

Rosario: Embrace her, We let her (Alice) live here, Yes, spar without hurting

Ishara: Compliment, Flirt Back

[norixnori94]

This Is So Wrong But It Feels So Right pt. 1

This Is So Wrong But It Feels So Right Pt. 1/2 (re-uploaded)

One-Shot

Part: 1/2

Genre: Slight Angst(?) + Smut + Romance

Characters: Jaehyun (NCT 127), Mira (OC), JB (GOT7)

Rating: 18+

Plot: A tutor starts having an affair with her student when she learns of her boyfriends affairs.

A/n: I’m not good at making summaries/forwards so uh I’m just get right into it also I love JB he just has the right look/vibes for the type of character I’m making him lol i am aware he is actually a huge softy irl

“Your exam is next week right, Jaehyun?”

“Yeah, my professor throws one at us every month, it’s on the same day I have a paper due for history too, school is killing me,” the young man let out a groan as he stretched back against the chair “Ahhh Mira noona~ is there anyway I can pay you to write my paper for me?”

“Nope, you gotta do it yourself, I can help you but I won’t do it for you,” Mira flipped over onto the next page in the biology text book when Jaehyun wrapped his arms around her arm. She looked down at the younger male who was pouting at her and giving her puppy dog eyes “Please~?” He begged cutely, Mira rolled her eyes and poked his forehead back “no, now focus, we still have a lot to go through,”

Jaehyun huffed before releasing her arm and leaning forward against the table. As they went over the lessons Mira hadn’t realized that half the time she would be explaining something or reading Jaehyun was just be staring at her, admiring her profile as she spoke. Mira always took his flirting as a joke, to be fair that was on him since he had always passed it off as a joke when truthfully he really was into her. He knew he had no chance with her, she was 2 years older than him and already had a man. A really attractive man at that.

Jaehyun let out a soft sigh before re-focusing on the text book. To tell the truth he was a smart guy, he didn’t really need tutoring. Well maybe in the beginning he did since he had missed a lot of classes because of his health, he needed to get back on track. But as he spent more time with her the more he had started to notice her charms, he slowly fell for her. She was kind and caring, she seemed to always be able to tell when he was really stressed or when his mood was down so she would cheer him up or let him vent. She was easy to talk to. As he realized his feelings he began to continue to come for tutoring sessions as an excuse to be with her. He knew that he shouldn’t be and that eventually he should just give up and move on from her. But for the time being he wanted to enjoy the time he had with her.

When the session came to end he was about leave he turned to Mira “Noona, tomorrow night my friends and some other kids from school are going to have a BBQ party at the park, you wanna come?”

“Hmm, send me the details and if I’m free I’ll go,”

Jaehyun nodded and bowed his head before leaving.

-

Jaehyun was talking and laughing with his friends when he noticed Mira walking towards them. Jaehyun’s lips immediately formed a grin, the dimples on his face making an appearance. “Noona! You came,” he went towards her and hugged her “Yeah, I didn’t have anything planned, so here I am,” she hugged him back before pulling back to greet his friends.

“Oh right these are my friends Johnny, Mark and Doyoung,” Jaehyun introduced them before introducing her to them as well “This is Mira, she’s my tutor,” they all greeted each other. But as Jaehyun watched them his smile soon faltered a bit when he saw a man appear by Mira’s side, his arm snaking around her waist. He knew it was her boyfriend since he’s seen images of him before. Mira smiled brightly when he joined and introduced him “This is my boyfriend Jaebeom, and Jaebeom oppa this is...” Mira introduced them to Jaebeom but Jaehyun wasn’t listening. He was busy eyeing Jaebeom’s arm, wishing it was him in his spot.

He started feeling competitive. He felt the need to win her over, he knows he shouldn’t get in between people relationships like this but he felt this strong desire to try and win her heart over. He already started making his plans just then.

The rest of the night was spent with everyone getting along and catching up. Mira had momentarily separated to catch up with the student’s she recognized from her past and current classes. Jaebeom also separated from the group to speak with some old friends as well, but Jaehyun kept his eyes on him to find any flaws with him, to figure him out and see which ways he’s better than him. While he watched him he swore that he saw Jaebeom checking out other girls and low-key flirting. But he didn’t want to start drama, after he couldn’t be sure just based on what he thinks he’s seeing. Jaehyun always tried to be rational but he still believed that he definitely was checking out some of the girls at the party.

“Hyung am I the only one who noticed he’s checking out other girls with his girl friend right here?” Jaehyun leaned towards Johnny “Who?”

“Jaebeom...”

“Actually yeah I did notice something like that, he straight up stared at Taeyeon’s ass while licking his lips,”

“Should we tell Mira noona?”

“Nah, that’s none of our business, you don’t want to start any issues,”

“I don’t know I just don’t think it’s right,”

“Maybe she already knows, I don’t know, I don’t like putting my nose into other peoples issues,”

Jaehyun let out a small sigh, but right then Mira came to their side, she handed Jaehyun and Johnny a bottle of beer “Thanks for inviting me Jaehyun, it’s been a while since I went to a party, I’ve been so preoccupied with work and school recently I forgot that I should let loose once in a while,” She smiled brightly at Jaehyun and Jaehyun’s heart skipped a beat, his ears slowly turned red and he cleared his throat, nodding “I’ll start inviting you for more fun then and you can join whenever you have free time,” he took a big sip from his beer, Johnny had noticed that Jaehyun was blushing and he immediately knew what was up and why he was worried about her. He smirked and gave Jaehyun a nudge “Ahhh I get it now, so that’s whats up huh?” Jaehyun looked up at Johnny in confusion “What are you talking about?” Johnny only gave him a knowing smile and tapped his own ear to give Jaehyun a hint. Jaehyun’s ears turned red again in embarrassment “Hyung!”

Mira smiled at the two, unsure of what they were speaking about, but she was distracted anyway. She turned her head too look over at Jaebeom laughing and speaking with the other students. Her lips pursed before she took in a deep a breath and let it out. She, like Johnny and Jaehyun, has also caught Jaebeom checking a girls ass. She had caught him checking girls out on multiple occasions but she didn’t say anything because she didn’t want to fight. She decided it was fine as long as he wasn’t actually doing anything with other girls. Though she still has her suspicions of him but she pushes those suspicions aside, she had no evidence to back those suspicions up anyway.

-

After that day Jaehyun would often invite her to hang out with him and his friends. They would hang out at the end of every week, bowling, eating or doing karaoke. Jaehyun took these chances to get closer to Mira and would show her what kind of guy he is. During karaoke he definitely took advantage to show off his singing skills, and Mira really was impressed by his voice.

When she clapped and complimented him at the end of the song he smirked and gave her a wink. Mira would be lying if she said that it didn’t catch her off guard and make her blush. But of course she wasn’t going to admit it, there was no reason too, she wasn’t into him like that.

When the semester ended Jaehyun decided to confess his feelings to her. He know’s he would get rejected but he wanted to do it anyway. So he had asked her to come out for walk and some late night snacks. Mira agreed and met up with him. They walked and talked and made sure to grab some bites from the street vendors. At the end of the night he walked her to her apartment door. Before she could unlock the door Jaehyun spoke up “Noona...I have something to say,”

Mira turned to face him, keys still in hand “Is something up?”

Jaehyun shook his head, taking a deep breath before speaking up “I really like you....no, that’s not the right word...I love you, the truth is I never needed the tutoring, in the beginning I did but after that it was all just an excuse for me to be with you, I had feelings for you from the start I just didn’t say anything because you have a boyfriend, but I need to tell you this now, I know it’s wrong but I really want to win you over I’ve been trying to win you over for a while now...”

He paused a moment, there was silence between the two as Mira stared at him, speechless and surprised she didn’t know how to respond.

“Sorry if I made things weird, I’ll just leave now, I hope we can still be friends...feel free to pretend this didn’t happen,” Jaehyun turned away and quickly left. He didn’t want to hear her reject him, he already knows he’s rejected there was no need to hear it out loud.

Mira didn’t stop him from leaving, she had nothing to say, what would she say? “I’m sorry but I don’t feel the same?” He already knew that, he knows everything that she could possibly have said to him and there was no need to to hurt him by saying it again. She could have comforted him but what would she say “it’s okay there’s more fish in the sea?” it was probably best that she kept quiet. But despite deciding that that was the best thing she could do she couldn’t help but think about it all night. Needless to stay Jaehyun was also in his bed, tossing in turning as that moment repeated over in over in his head.

-

Mira tried to make Christmas Eve plans with Jaebeom but Jaebeom said he was busy, he told her he would make up for it later and they can go on a date after Christmas. Mira was disappointed and upset. She really wanted to spend time with him since they didn’t get to see each other often. She lied back on her bed and let out a heavy sigh “Guess I should find something else to do then...” She unlocked her phone and began going through Instagram to see what everyone is up to when she saw Jaehyun’s post. It was an image of him pouting and the caption was “Seems like everyone is busy on Christmas, is no one available to spend their Christmas Eve with this lonely guy? Please? Anyone? T-T”

Mira let out a soft giggle and decided to shoot him a text, it had been a while since they’ve met up, ever since he confessed they seemed to be avoiding each other but Mira decided to push that aside.

Mira: hey lonely boy, heard you’re spending Christmas alone this year

Jaehyun: Yeah, everyone has plans already T-T noona save me...

Jaehyun: Oh wait, you probably have plans with Jaebeom-hyung...

Mira: Actually, no, he can’t hang out with me that day, he’s busy, we planned for something after though

Jaehyun: oh- sorry noona

Mira: You wanna hang out on Christmas? We can do some Ice Skating and Karaoke or something...and then dinner of course

Jaehyun: Noooooonaaaa my savior, can we get cake too?

Mira: you sound like a baby, but sure

Mira hadn’t noticed how big her smile was as she spoke with him. She found his childlike side cute and endearing.

-

Christmas Eve finally rolled around, Mira met up with Jaehyun by the Cafe they discussed. Jaehyun showed up a little late with two warm cups of hot chocolate “Mira! It’s been a while huh?” Mira smiled and nodded “yeah it really has been,” Jaehyun held the cup towards her “here, to keep you warm as we walk,” Mira took the cup and carefully took a sip. The two of them walked until they reached the ice ring, they rented a pair of ice skates and proceeded to have fun skating badly. Jaehyun wasn’t too bad at it but Mira kept slipping up and messing up. Jaehyun had fun teasing her and dragging her around.

When they decided they had enough fun on the ice Mira decided she was hungry so they agreed to have dinner first. They had decided on Korea BBQ.

Sitting across from each other they talked, ate and drank. Although the were having fun Jaehyun had been resisting the urge to hold her hand all evening. Even now he really wanted to reach over and hold her hand, or kiss her. It was hard, after all his feelings weren’t going to go away so soon. In the end of the day all he can do is admire her presence.

When they finished their dinner they paid and made their way to a nearby cafe for some dessert. But as they were approaching the bakery Mira suddenly slowed down before coming to a stop. When Jaehyun noticed she was no longer walking beside him he turned around “You good?” Mira brought her attention back to Jaehyun and nodded “Um actually, why don’t we just get dessert from the karaoke place? We can have some cake while singing and stuff,”

“You sure? This place is pretty good,”

“I know, it just looks busy and I don’t feel like waiting in line,”

Jaehyun shrugged “I mean, Okay I guess, if that’s what you want,”

The two got into a taxi. Through the whole ride Mira was on her phone, she texted her boyfriend asking how was work and what he was up to.

“Is everything okay? You’re suddenly quiet and seem kinda down...”

Jaehyun’s voice brought her attention to him. She smiled and nodded “I’m fine, don’t worry, I just don’t have anything to talk about,” The truth is, she wasn’t okay, and Jaehyun could tell but he didn’t know why. But Mira wasn’t about to tell him that she had just seen her boyfriend Jaebeom, right in front of the bakery, in a full out make out session with another girl. She clearly saw his face, she watched it all happen as he held her face and pulled her in for that kiss. She knew for a fact she didn’t mistake a stranger for him.

Especially since he was wearing the customized beanie she had bought him for his birthday. So no, she was not okay. She was furious, and upset. Her stomach had down a full back flip and she felt nauseous.

The rest of the night Mira tried her best to act as if everything was okay, but Jaehyun could tell she was putting up an act. But he decided not to pry so he decided to just have fun and try to make her laugh as he teased her. It didn’t really work though.

At the end of the night Jaehyun walker her to her door. As she was about to head inside she paused before taking a step inside then turned towards him “Do you want to watch a movie with me? I kind of want to spend some more time with you,”

Jaehyun was surprised at her request, he thought after his confession she would never want him to step inside her place again. He wasn’t about to reject her offer though “Sure...” he followed her inside and took his coat off, hanging it up on the hanger on the wall.

-

Jaehyun was sitting in shock, eyes wide at the sudden situation he was in. Just a second ago he was enjoying the movie Mira had put on but now he was sitting with the older woman straddling his lap, her lips pressed up against his. He couldn't tell if he was dreaming or not. He didn't know how to react. As much as he wanted to kiss her back he didn't, he pulled back "What...what are you doing?"

"I'm kissing you,"

"Noona...maybe you had too much drink, we shouldn't be doing this,"

"I'm not drunk, I want this,"

"But...what about, what about your-"

"Jaehyun, just shut up and kiss me already, didn't you say you wanted to win me over?"

Jaehyun swallowed back his saliva, was this her way of telling him that he's winning her over? He looked into her eyes, he didn't know how to react or what to do. She had never mentioned breaking up with Jaebeom.

"Are you going to kiss me or not?" Mira's lips were barely even an inch away from his, her eyes gazing into his. Jaehyun's heart was racing and all he could think of was having her to himself in that moment "Shit...why does she have to make this so hard for me..." He thought to himself.

Jaehyun gave in, he wrapped his arms around her waist as his pressed into hers. Their lips moved in harmony with each other as he held her close to his body.

"God, this is so wrong...but damn it it feels so right"

The butterflies in his stomach were going wild with excitement. He knew this was wrong as she was still in a relationship but he didn't care, he wanted to have her at least this one time, even if meant her possibly completely cutting him out of her life afterwards. He didn't care.

Jaehyun lifted her and placed her down on the sofa, his body hovering over hers. Mira closed her eyes as his lips began to move down against her jawline, down to her neck, when he found her sweet spot he gently sucked on the skin, a soft sigh of pleasure escaping Mira's lips in response. He soon slipped his fingers underneath her shirt, slowly trailing his fingers against her skin, slowly going higher. His lips began to move lower down to her collarbone but he stop right before he go to her chest, and lifted his head to look at her as he gripped onto the hem of her shirt "noona, can I take this off?" Mira nodded her head, cupping his cheek in one hand, gently stroking his cheek with her thumb.

Jaehyun began to lift her shirt up as Mira lifted herself to help him get it off of her. Jaehyun took a moment to appreciate her body, his heart was racing with excitement. This made Mira's face go hot with embarrassment as he stated at her body. He lowered his head once more, his lips pressing against the skin on her chest, as he kissed over her chest he pushed her bra straps down her shoulders and tugged her bra down, her breasts now sitting right before his eyes "fuck, you're beautiful," he said under his breath before taking her nipple between lips without hesitation. Mira let out a soft and quiet moan. She bit down onto her finger as she closed her eyes, enjoying the moment.

She wrapped a leg around his waist, pulling his waist closer to hers. Jaehyun responded by moving his hips against hers as he moved his head to suck on her other nipple. Mira let out another moan, which only encouraged him to suck more harshly, his hips still rolling against hers.

He soon lifted his head leaned into her lips. Their lips moved together, his tongue poking at her lips asking for entrance. Her lips parted in response, as his tongue slipped right in, their tongues dancing together. Jaehyun didn't want this to stop, he wanted kiss every inch of her, he wanted to make her feel good.

His hand slid between them, working at the button on her jeans, once it was open he pulled down the zipper and slipped his hand in underneath her panties. His fingers pressing against her as he began to massage her. A moan escaped Mira's lips, her body getting hotter and breathing slowly growing heavy.

Her moans threw Jaehyun into a high, he let out a soft breathy groan at the sound of her moans, he needed to hear it more.

His finger slipped into her and began working at her insides. For some reason at that moment guilt suddenly rushed through out her entire body, remembering her boyfriend and how she still had feelings for him. "Fuck...fuck, wait Jaehyun, stop," Jaehyun pulled his hand away and looked down at her with concern "is everything okay?"

Mira wanted to cry, she was overwhelmed with guilt, she didn't want to do this Jaebeom nor Jaehyun. She was basically just using Jaehyun to release her anger at this point and she didn't want to do that to him. "I'm sorry I just...I think I got ahead of myself, we shouldn't be doing this this is so wrong..."

Jaehyun sat up, respecting her wishes "it's okay, we can stop, do you want me to leave?" He secretly hoped she would say no, he felt if she told him to leave that it would be the end of it for both if them. He would never see nor hear from her again.

Mira shook her her head "no, stay, let's just go to bed I...would be nice to have someone to cuddle for tonight," Jaehyun was was happy that she told him to say, he wanted kiss her but he held himself back. Mira climbed off the couch "I'm going to change into something more comfortable..."

Mira disappeared into her room, when she did she finally broke into tears. She cried quietly. She was crying because of the guilt, but she was also crying because of the betrayal of her boyfriend. She didn't know what to do.

In the meantime Jaehyun had gone to the restroom to wash up. He made his way back to the living room, taking his belt off so that he could sleep more comfortably. He noticed Mira was taking a while and was contemplating knocking on her door. But just then she stepped out and gave him a small smile before heading into the bathroom. He had noticed that her eyes were red, almost as if she was crying. He didn’t say anything though because he I realized she must have been feeling guilty.

He blamed himself though, if he hadn’t given in she wouldn’t have been in this position.

[tbr-agency]

happy birthday.

summary ⟶ Jackson is sad that The Bloody Roses, especially his own bodyguard, couldn’t celebrate his birthday together - not knowing that a surprise is waiting for him.

timeline ⟶ March 2019

characters : The Bloody Roses, Got7

❝ I just feel thankful. ❞

"I can't wait to see his reaction!" chuckled Yeonji, followed by her other members. 

She was busy blowing out black and white balloons, along with Hyunji and Nara.

Chaeun and Eunhee were busy pasting Jackson's pictures on the strings of each balloon.

"This is so cute, Chaeun-ah. Why don't you do it for my birthday?" pouted Eunhee, earning a giggle from Chaeun.

"At least I gave you a polaroid camera and the latest camera. Maybe next year, okay?"

"I'm just kidding, Chaeunnie. You don't know how many times I used the canon camera, both for work and for my everyday use." Eunhee said in satisfaction, Chaeun knowing the older one is really satisfied with the gift she bought for her birthday.

Ahrin and Haejin were busy preparing the birthday cake and also cooking seaweed soup for all of them, mainly for the birthday boy.

At the same time, Chaeun's phone vibrated and she already guessed who it was.

Wang puppy

Chaeunnieeeeeee, are you free tonight?

"Did he text you?" Hyunji questioned and giving a slight smile, Chaeun nodded.

"Well, you're not the only. We got it too." Nara showed her phone towards Chaeun, as she smiled widely. Apparently, he texted Nara, asking if Chaeun is with her.

"Are you going to reply?"

"Nope. I'll let it be. It will be more suspicious if I reply." shrugged Nara.

"I got a text from Yugyeom too, I didn't reply... But I feel bad.." mumbled Hyunji, while pouting a little.

"I think everyone receives a message from the members." Eunhee voiced out and the girls look at her. "You received a message from Jinyoung?" questioned Chaeun, and the older one nodded.

"He asked if all of us are free, but I didn't reply because we are busy."

Eunhee took out her phone, showing the messages she had from Jinyoung towards the other girls.

Jinyoung Got7 

Eunhee-ah, are you and the girls free tonight?  [Read, 1 hour ago]

Jinyoung Got7 

Nevermind, you might be busy. [Read, 30 minutes ago]

"Strangely, I can imagine him saying that," commented Nara, earning a scoff from Eunhee.

"How about you Yeonji? Did Youngjae texted you?" Eunhee questioned curiously, and the younger girl turned towards the older one. 

Eunhee's eyes started to enlarge, seeing Yeonji's cheeks turning red.

"Yeonji, you look sick. Are you okay?" Hyunji looked concerned, followed by a few giggles by the other girls.

"Maknae-ah, she's not sick. She is shy."

"In-love maybe," mumbled Eunhee while glancing towards Yeonji, earning a slight glare from Yeonji.

"Yes, I received a text saying if we are free to celebrate Jackson's birthday,"said Yeonji, trying to stay calm although she was shy and embarrassed.

"Are you guys done?! We have less than an hour!" yelled Ahrin from the kitchen, and the girls instantly look at each other, seeing that they were ahead of their conversation.

The Got7 members got out of the restaurant while waving towards their manager as they parted ways, celebrating Jackson's birthday.

The birthday boy was all happy when they are inside the restaurant, plus in front of the cameras since they were doing a V-live, to celebrate together with the fans too.

Jinyoung was observing the birthday boy, as he was being sandwiched by Yugyeom and Bambam. Though he was smiling and happy, it looked like he was forcing himself.

"Jinyoung-ah, did your bodyguard reply to you?" Mark questioned softly and Jinyoung looked towards the older one, shaking his head as his answer. Mark let out a visible frown.

"Same for me. Ahrin never 'read' on me." mumbled Mark while looking at his phone. Jinyoung looked at his phone, wondering why his bodyguard didn't reply his message.

She read the message but didn't reply.

Maybe they are busy...

"Hyung, do you miss Chaeun noona?" Yugyeom asked the birthday boy, Jackson's eyes widen as he shakes his head in denial.

"What are you talking about!?! Of course not!"

"Eyyyy, hyung! You don't have to lie to us! Your face is an open book!" Bambam teased as he quickly ran away towards Mark before getting hit by Jackson, the birthday boy sighed while kicking random rocks on the floor.

Yugyeom raised an eyebrow while looking towards the leader for help. Jackson is obviously feeling moody.

"She's probably busy, Jackson-ah. Even Haejin is busy. I'm not surprised if the other girls are busy too." Jaebeom calmly said, at the same time putting his arm around the birthday boy's shoulder.

The leader was gazing towards Jackson, letting out a smile to cheer the birthday boy up.

Truthfully, Jaebeom was trying so hard not to laugh nor spoil the atmosphere. He knows what are the girls doing, and he knows where are they right now.

He knew what the girls are planning to do and everything will be revealed in about 15 minutes' time.

When Jaebeom was notified both by his manager and a phone call he had with Haejin featuring the other 6 girls, he can't help but feel happy, at the same time excited.

Chaeun had planned a birthday surprise for the birthday boy, and of course, to put it in a fun way, Haejin decided to come up a sneaky way which was not replying to all of the members, sadly including Jaebeom because it might look suspicious if Jaebeom was on his phone compared to the other members.

Jackson looks downwards, as he let out a self-cheer-up smile.

"Hyung is right. Yeonji blue ticked me... this girl..." Youngjae whines, earning chuckles from the other members as they make their way back to their dorm.

Somehow, Jackson was the first one to stand in front of their dorm door, key in the passcode before the others, meaning he really is upset that Chaeun and the other girls were not available to hang out.

It didn't matter if the girls forget his birthday, Jackson just wants to spend time with them, especially Chaeun.

He didn't want to be selfish to keep Chaeun to himself and at the same time, he didn't want to be too obvious.

With a small sigh, Jackson opens the door and as he took a step forward, he felt something soft on the floor, realizing that it was a balloon.

"What the—

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Jackson.. Happy birthday to you!"

Jackson was being cut off by a familiar voice, as she stood there in the dark, holding the cake with the light-up candle while smiling widely.

He was too shocked to even move or say a word that Chaeun had to walk towards him, standing a few inches away so that Jackson can blow the candles.

"Yah! Blow the candle!" Mark yelled at the back as he sounded impatient, knowing the others were standing outside as they didn't want to destroy the moment. Jackson quickly closed his eyes, making a wish before blowing the candles.

As the candles were blown off in a cue, the lights were quickly switched on.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACKSON!"

The girls yelled in unison, followed by multiple and weird screams, coming from Haejin, and that's when the other Got7 members came into the scene, as their eyes widen to see what was in front of their eyes.

Black and white balloons were on top of the ceiling, and the boys had a good sight to see pictures of Jackson stick onto the ends of the string of the balloons.

Jackson's eyes were sparkling as he was looking up, capturing the moment with his eyes. There was a part of him that wanted to just break down because this was the first time someone had done this for him, it was too cute.

"Noona, this is so... cute! I'm going to capture this moment!" Bambam fanboyed as he quickly took out his phone, followed by the other members, taking pictures of their living room decorated with balloons.

Eunhee decided to grab the chance to take a picture of the Got7 members, and somehow Jinyoung caught her gaze.

"Is that why you didn't reply to my messages?!"Jinyoung stared at the photographer, as she could only reply to him by taking a picture of him, looking disbelief and letting out her tongue towards him.

"Yah!" Jinyoung slightly yelled jokingly, running after Eunhee after she took a run for it.

Ahrin decided to take the baton of carrying the cake with the exchange of the party hats that were supposed to wear by the members and mainly for Jackson, as she gave it to Chaeun.

Chaeun grinned widely as she put the party hat on Jackson, but she was being engulfed by a tight hug.

As Jackson pull away from her, Chaeun turned towards him, he had a tear falling on his cheeks, realizing he cried.

"Yah! Why are you crying?" Chaeun voiced became soft, as her hands automatically were onto Jackson's face, wiping his tear-off.

Jackson's eyes never left Chaeun's when she was busy wiping his cheeks.

"I just feel thankful," Jackson mumbled and Chaeun can't help but to let out a soft smile.

"You deserve it, Seunnie. You deserve the whole world. Your personality brightens the whole world and of course to your fans, not forgetting your music too!" Chaeun complimented, followed by non-stop praising of Jackson's solo work, repeating herself that she loves his collaboration with 88rising.

She even specifies which is her favorite song, mentioning tequila sunrise.

Jackson stared at her who was talking non-stop before giving a sudden peck on her cheeks, making Chaeun to suddenly stop talking while letting out a small gasp.

At the same time, they heard a few clicking sounds from a digital camera and strangely, shuttering sounds coming from phones.

Both Chaeun and Jackson looked towards where it came from, to see the others basically on their phones recording everything.

"YAH!"

masterlist : Got7 Bodyguard Au

[restlessmaknae]

that summer when love comes

Sungjin is assigned to be the team leader of the most mischievous kids (the so-called Stray Kids) at the annual summer camp, but he soon founds out that this year will be different from the others for a different reason.

♦ Pairing: team leader!Sungjin x team leader!OC

♦ Supporting characters: the rest of DAY6, Stray Kids and many more idol cameos

♦ Genre: comedy + fluff + no angst

♦ Words: 9.7k

♦ A/N: The ages of the supporting characters are different from their real ones. Apart from DAY6, you have to deduct 4 years from the others’ ages aka Bang Chan is 17 and Jeongin is 13. *-*

Sungjin knew that the summer camp would be difficult with almost 50 students, but he would have never thought that it would be this difficult.

He was always said to be a leader type, someone who can take responsibility for both his and his team’s actions, someone who’s always punctual and reliable and has the ability to make others listen to him. That's exactly why he was assigned to be the leader of the most mischievous kids in the 8th and 9th cabin whom everyone called the Stray Kids because they were always all over the place, messing around and pulling pranks on each other.

“Jeongin, please don't put glue on Jisung's head while he's sleeping! It's really difficult to get it off him when he wakes up.”

“I've told you, Felix, that we don't have a girl group dance cover battle this year. Wonpil decided not to renew the tradition because of the ridiculous costumes some elder students put on last year and because the girls got offended.”

“Hyunjin, I know it's hard to resist, but I kindly ask you not to steal Seungmin's clothes because your own clothes will end up in the lake just like they did last year.”

These and other similar sentences left his mouth from the moment he entered the little camp site where the wooden houses were like dots on a green canvas. The scenery was beautiful as always with overgrowing trees sheltering the area, the pleasantly cold lake offering the chance for a quick and refreshing swim, and a huge forest with multiple little animals and flowers in all colours of the rainbow. If anything, this was really the perfect venue for such an event.

No matter what, Sungjin was certain that he could handle the kids, he wasn't chosen the best team leader three years in a row for nothing. Though last year Wonpil snatched his place because the girls loved him so much that they kindly asked the organizers (aka the organizing committee who consisted of the four team leaders and Jae) to let him get the trophy just this once and seeing their cute aegyos, the guys didn't have a heart to protest.

The organizers were best friends anyway, the five of them have been a part of the summer camps ever since Jae’s uncle – Mr Park Jinyoung – was chosen as the headmaster of the high school they once went to, so helping the so-called JYP’s students out became the most exciting and adventure-filled two weeks of their summer holidays. No matter how naughty the kids were, at least they had some fun and had some pocket money for the rest of their break. Not to mention that they were still kids at heart, so taking care of children wasn't that difficult of a task for most of them.

Though Wonpil and Dowoon were usually shy when it came to youngsters, they eventually got used to their roles, and always got along well with their teams after some initial mishaps. Wonpil was with the girls from the very start as he was the most gentle and caring, plus he seemed the least likely to hurt the girls' feelings with unnecessary teasing and stupid games. Needless to say, the girls were always head over for him. Dowoon was usually the one who got the calmest, quietest group of children, this year his team consisted of Xiaojun, Hendery, Yangyang, Jaemin, Renjun, Jeno, Dino and Vernon.

“They are really nice kids, I swear. Maybe one of the chillest ones I’ve ever had,” the youngest team leader boasted with his huge, trademark grin, giving the others a thumbs-up. 

Jae almost laughed straight into his face, clearly unconvinced by the truth behind Dowoon's words.

“Oh, I think they just need the right team leader to bring out the worst in them,” Jae retorted smugly, ever so proud of the fact that he didn't need to lead a team as he was the one who organized the group activities. He would have probably lost a kid or two if he was chosen to as a team leader. If not more, really.

“The girls are lovely as always,” Wonpil admitted coyly, a blush creeping onto his face. Young K couldn't stop teasing him about his teams, they really had a soft spot in his heart, small wonder he immediately cooed at Wonpil’s words. “Chaeyoung had made me a flower crown and Tzuyu invited me to bake with them tonight,” he announced proudly, his toothy smile showing.

Jae and Young K exchanged a look while Sungjin rolled his eyes.

“My boys have overheard it, and they were about to ruin your little baking, but I managed to convince them to come fishing with me instead,” Sungjin said, and the ever so innocent Wonpil was so dumbfounded, he looked like a little puppy who just got lost.

“Fishing? Are you kidding me?” Jae chortled. “That's the most Sungjin thing ever. Indeed our reliable Busan guy,” he joked as he patted the said leader's shoulder who didn't even bat an eye as he was already used to his friend's antics. He merely rolled his eyes, knowing all too well that Jae would be talking his ass off instead of doing anything for his team if he was given the role of a team leader, so he was sassy only until he didn’t have to control 8 to 12 kids all day long for two whole weeks.

“But don't forget about the karaoke night today. We'll start at 7 sharply, and we won't accept late registrations like last year,” Young K hinted as he glanced at Jae who didn't let the words affect him. He merely shrugged his shoulders.

“Kevin's team was the one who came in first place anyway. It would been a shame not to let them join us,” he pointed out, arms raised in defeat. Young K couldn't help but let out a laugh. What were rules anyway to Mr Park Jaehyung?

Sungjin shook his head with a knowing smile on his face, then he cleared his throat to regain everyone's attention.

“Alright, let's end this meeting here if no one wants to say more!” He suggested firmly, looking for any kind of disapproval in the other's eyes. He liked to have quick meetings to gather everyone and see how they were doing with the youngsters, but he didn’t like when the meetings got dragged on without anything useful to be said. They knew about the activities that were held for all of the other teams and not just their own, so there was no need to emphasise who would organize what.

“Moonbin wants to know what's for lunch today,” Young K butted in, everyone smiling at his request. The so-called Bro Brian had a really versatile group from cool kids like Chani, Hwiyoung and Taeyang, playful kids like Q, Kevin and Hwall, and sometimes whiny but very very lovable kids like Moonbin, Rocky and Sanha.

The others looked at Sungjin for an answer as everyone knew that he was the one who could have known such things. He wasn't just a team leader, he was also the so-called info man because no matter what you asked, he knew the answer to it or at least he was willing to find it out.

That’s why no one was surprised when he knew the options as if he was reading them from the menu.

“Lasagna with a banana and apple juice, or noodles with veggies and tofu, plus an apple and banana milk on the side.”

“Gluten-free?” Jae teased, a smirk evident on his face.

“Yes, both the lasagne and the noodles.” Sungjin nodded seriously, and Jae couldn’t have been more amused by him. “The banana milk is made from coconut milk, so it’s naturally lactose-free and vegan,” Sungjin announced and Young K clapped his hands like he was clapping for the president itself.

Frankly, the camp’s chefs had a hard time considering all the allergens and nutritional preferences of children, so they’ve tried their best to satisfy everyone’s needs. JYP had paid a generous amount of money for the camp anyway because the students who were there were talented and intelligent students in at least one field of life, so the two-week long camping was actually the reward for their hard work. That’s why the chefs could actually afford to make two dishes every day and offer some fresh fruit or vegetables on the side. Knowing that Sungjin liked his stomach almost as much as he liked his own group, he inquired about the daily menus first thing in the morning.

“Very nice, Sungjin, very nice!” Young K patted Sungjin's shoulder teasingly, then rose from his seat to start planning his afternoon with his own team.

“We’re going BBQ-ing anyway,” he announced before he finally left the scene and let poor Sungjin fume inside. Why would it matter what would be lunch if they were eating on their own anyway? Though Moonbin could eat a lot, so it wouldn’t have come as a surprise if he had lunch at the canteen and then one with his team at the BBQ. Who knows?

“Plus, tomorrow there’s the afternoon trip to the nearby look-out tower, don’t forget that!” Jae reminded them loudly, so that everyone could hear it. It’s not like the team leaders didn’t talk about the group activities, it was more like they forgot to bring their kids to a certain place and instead they organized programmes for their own teams.

 Sungjin sat by the lake with the kids by his side, letting out a long, long sigh in disbelief. He was already worn out even if they had just started.

Jeongin had almost poked his own eyes out with the fishing rod, Jisung had almost fell into the lake when he was chasing after Seungmin and was chased by Hyunjin while Bang Chan and Changbin were sulking like emo kids at a unicorn-themed birthday party, Woojin was daydreaming about chicken and fussing why they didn’t have a barbecue like Young K’s team, Felix was dancing to Gashina and Minho was flirting with the girls from the camp which was on the other side of the lake, flexing his muscles and showing off his award-winning smile.

After all the mess in the beginning, finally everyone was quiet, and the most enthusiastic kids even tried fishing as much as they could while the ones who were too immersed in their self-sorrow or their flirting didn’t make any mess anyway, so why bother reprimanding them? As long as no one hurt themselves or others in the process (last year, Changbin had broken a leg when Jeongin pushed him down the stairs to test if he was going to miraculously save himself from the fall or fall down for real… needless to say, what happened was the latter), it was okay. On Sungjin’s part, it was.

Six girls from the camp on the other side of the lake came to see Minho for themselves, cheering and gasping when they saw the boy in person. Even though the girls from school were pretty much neutral towards Minho (and Sungjin had no idea if it was because they didn’t care or because they had already dated him and he had dumped them all, could be both honestly), he seemed to be pretty popular amongst the other girls. At least, it was their third day at the camp, and the other camps’ females were already head over heels for him, so Sungjin could draw such a conclusion.

The team leader of the Stray Kids looked at the scene in front of his eyes, wandering why he had never been lucky with the ladies. He had some girlfriends, some really nice and lovely girls, and he had his fair share of blind dates thanks to his friends, especially Jae, who always felt the need to set him up with someone. On the other hand, there was the sixteen-year-old Minho and a smile of his was enough to attract six girls’ attention.

“Girls, I’ve told you not to go away from the team!” A firm female voice called out, showing up beside the said girls, hands on her hips, eyebrows furrowed in frustration.

She had long, jet-black hair that fell over her shoulders like a waterfall, cheeks tinted in pink from both the summer heat and the intensity of the situation and beautiful, almond-shaped, star-filled eyes. Eyes that held stars that were waiting to shine, to light up the sky and to die out as the most beautiful ones he had ever seen. Her features were defined, feminine and rounded in just the right places, and she radiated confidence that swept him off his feet. She wore the same uniform as the young girls beside her, except the fact that hers said ‘Mom Mirae’, indicating that she was (probably) like their mother figure. She was a bit shorter than Minho, yet the vibe she gave off made even the flirty boy shut up on the spot, waiting for further instructions.

“Why is it so bad that we wanted to talk to him? Just talk to him?” One of the girls whose team shirt said Yuqi whined just like a child who didn’t get to lay her hands on the dessert she had wanted.

“Not on my watch, young lady, not on my watch,” Mirae warned her, shaking her head in disbelief. Then, her features became even more solemn and she looked the girls straight into their eyes, one after another. “You’re only teenagers, you have your whole life to talk to boys!”

“Sure, then we’ll end up single like you,” a shorter girl (Soyeon according to her shirt) snorted, giving Mirae a disgusted look.

The team leader acted like she was immensely hurt when it could be seen that she was merely dancing around the edges of her patience.

“You can talk to him when we’ll have the trip to the watch-out tower tomorrow,” she explained after letting out a sigh. Then, the events took an unexpected turn, and Mirae caught sight of Sungjin watching the scene and turned to him with her whole body. “You are going there tomorrow, right?” she inquired as she raised her voice to be heard properly, tilting her head while she was waiting for his response.

Sungjin was so shocked to get caught staring that he opened and closed his mouth like a fish while he was trying to gather what was left of his pride. After a few more seconds, he finally regained his senses; he shook his head and cleared his throat.

“Yes, we’re going there too.” He nodded still dumbfounded, but he didn’t even have the chance to ask how the girls’ team leader could know about the other camp’s plans because the group of girls were already leaving the scene, reassured that they would have the chance to meet Minho the next day, too.

Sungjin watched Mirae’s fading silhouette, his brain still not catching up with the events. He knew she knew that he must have been with the boys because no other man could accompany the kids, and he was apparently the eldest. Yet, he was still surprised that she talked to him without hesitation and without even a hint of anxiety. She was born to be a leader, that was for sure.

“Our hyung is totally whipped,” Jisung cooed gleefully when Sungjin finally looked back at the boys to see if anyone had been doing something wrong.

Even before he had the chance to protest, Jeongin was about to run after the fishing rod which got a catch and poor boy nearly fell into the lake because the fish was so adamant and so heavy. Sungjin saved him in the last minute, and instead of saying thanks, Jeongin started crying that he had missed his best catch because of their team leader.

Oh really, Sungjin started to realize that this year was definitely different from the ones before. Not just because of the mischievous kids he was assigned to look over but also because of the girls from the other camp and their confident team leader.

 Sungjin was definitely looking forward to the trip to the watch-out tower, not because of anything in particular… he was just excited. He felt a bubbly feeling in his stomach, and it was so strange, so stupid to wait for the time when he could see her again. He didn’t even know her, he didn’t even know if she would want him to know her. He only knew her name because of her shirt, nothing else. What if she didn’t even want to talk to him?

“You alright, Bob?” Jae nudged the guy’s shoulder to get his attention.

Sungjin casted him a deadly glare when the blondie called him by the nickname he had given him. He really didn’t see the resemblance between the said figure and himself but oh well… Jae always saw the world differently.

“Sure.” He nodded, looking like he wasn’t distracted by the thought of a certain someone. “You sure you have the map and everything?” Sungjin asked just in case Jae didn’t prepare well enough for the trip even if it was his time to shine. The team leaders could organize activities for their teams individually, but Jae was the one who organised the activities for all of them. Some of them went pretty well but for example, last year, they did a trip to a nearby folk village and Jae ended up directing them in the opposite direction, so they ended up at a graveyard instead. Needless to say, Renjun passed out on the spot.

“Of course.” Jae shrugged his shoulders. “It’s not like it’s so far away. We can’t even get lost on our way there,” he explained ever so casually while Sungjin rolled his eyes.

“That’s exactly what you said before we walked 20 miles instead of 10, right?”

“That was a one-time thing!” Jae exclaimed, putting a hand over his heart like he was so hurt by his accusation.

“It happened twice,” Sungjin corrected him, giggling when his friend couldn’t bring up anything to deny the facts. Truth to be told, Jae was so much better at talking about plans and whatnot than actually making it a reality, that’s why half of his activities turned out to be failures. Though until the other half turned out to be a success, JYP didn’t really mind. At least, the kids could always tell their parents such amusing stories.

“Alright, is everyone here?” Jae clapped his hands together to get everyone’s attention, and when the kids calmed down a bit, he started counting who was there, and was surprised to find out that one child was missing. Later, he was informed that Moonbin had eaten too much BBQ chicken the day before, so he needed to stay at the camp with the nurse who would take care of him for the day.

After gathering together and making sure that everyone had enough food and drinks for the one-day trip, the group headed out. Sungjin was taking care of all the 9 kids he had, walking beside them to make sure that he could watch every single one of them while they were walking. Apart from the fact that Jeongin couldn’t stop pulling Seungmin’s hair, Woojin couldn’t stop whining about the BBQ chicken of Young K’s team and Felix was singing Chungha’s Why Don’t You Know on the top of his lungs repeatedly, everything went smoothly.

Though he had to admit that he was extremely puzzled when Minho came up to him to ask a question.

“Have you ever been in love?”

The straightforward question took the team leader by surprise because he would have imagined anyone else to ask the question but Minho himself. Yet, Sungjin knew that there was nothing he needed to hide about his love life, especially when a younger one was curious about it. Sungjin was also really curious when he was younger, he didn’t know what it felt like to be in love and be loved by someone other than your friends and your family, so of course Minho wanted to know the same.

Sungjin cleared his throat before he gave him an answer.

“Yes, a few times.” He nodded, thinking back to all the girlfriends he ever had. It’s not like he was so heart-broken that none of his relationships worked out in the end, yet when you are in love, you never think about the end, and that’s what makes the pain ever worse.

“What’s it like? I mean being in love?” Minho inquired with wide eyes, and even Jisung turned his head in their direction upon hearing the question.

“Well…” Sungjin chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. How could he explain it? There was really no right word for it, everyone had to experience it to know it for themselves. Plus, he was pretty sure being in love meant different for everyone, and everyone acted differently when they were in a relationship. “You want to see the other one more and more, you want to get to know every little thing about them, whatever they do make you smile, you start remembering something you’ve done together multiple times a day and at very random moments, and suddenly you find yourself thinking about them all the time,” Sungjin concluded dreamily, earning a few snorts from the younger ones.

“Eww, gross…” Seungmin snickered, making a disgusted face.

“You’ll know when you feel it,” Sungjin continued nonchalantly, not caring about the others’ disapproving glances or eye-rolls. It was no surprise that 13 to 17-year-old kids didn’t feel like falling in love or wanting to experience the feeling. He had his first girlfriend when he was 18 years old, and he didn’t want to fall in love either. It just happened, it’s not something you can be prepared for or you can prevent.

“Thanks, Sungjin,” Minho said thankfully, patting the other guy’s shoulder. Sungjin really didn’t know why he was so grateful as he didn’t do anything extraordinary, he merely told him how he felt.

Luckily, the rest of the walking didn’t include any love-related talk, so the team leader didn’t need to feel uncharacteristically uncomfortable around the kids. They busied themselves and started playing all kinds of games anyway, so he didn’t need to interfere to calm them down or to stop them when something was getting wild. They were acting like chill kids for the first time during the first three days of the camp, and he couldn’t have been more glad.

Time went by fast since he didn’t need to supervise them so intensely, and by the time his thoughts could go back to Mirae, they were already at the watch-out tower and settled down to have a picnic. Much to Sungjin’s dismay, the girls weren’t there, neither was their team leader.

The youngsters were busy munching on their sandwiches and cookies they had gotten from Wonpil’s team, they didn’t even notice that Sungjin’s attention was completely elsewhere and not on the kids, especially when the other camp arrived at the resting area in front of the watch-out tower. Maybe he really started hallucinating things, but he could have sworn that Mirae’s eyes found his for a second, for only a tiny bit of a fraction, yet it was enough for him to completely get his hopes up. He couldn’t even tear his gaze away for the rest of the lunch, his eyes were only on the girl and her team. Though he caught sight of other groups and their team leaders too, but he was too mesmerized by the way she firmly yet caringly took care of the girls that he couldn’t concentrate on anything else.

The six girls were chattering casually, eating their little lunches while they glanced in the boys’ direction, especially Minho’s who waved back at them, earning a few excited squeals and giggles from the others. That’s when Mirae and Sungjin finally exchanged a glance, and when they did, their lips curled upwards at the same time, and they soon broke into little fists of laugher.

Sungjin turned to Minho.

“Go, talk to them! You have 15 minutes,” he told the young boy who was so taken aback that he didn’t even know what to do for the next few seconds. However, after that, it was no turning back, he jumped up and ran to the girls, sitting in the middle of the circle they had created for him.

Mirae found this moment to excuse herself and leave the scene, walking further from the lovestruck group. When she was getting closer and closer to Sungjin, the team leader got more and more nervous. What was he about to say? Was she really going to come and talk to him? Would she even remember him?

Though all his questions were answered the moment the confident female showed up beside him and pointed at the blank spot on the blanket beside him.

“Can I join?” she inquired casually to which Sungjin could only nod fervently. She hopped down beside him in the next second, her eyes darting between the face of his and the kids he was looking over.

“Are you the team leader of eight boys?” she asked in awe, her lips parted in disbelief. Well, since they didn’t have a lot of volunteers, all of their team leaders had at least nine children on their watch, so it was no surprise that he had to take care of such a large number of youngsters. On the other hand, Mirae’s question was very much reasonable considering that their camp didn’t seem to be short on volunteers. There were at least 6 team leaders apart from her.

“Nine with Minho,” Sungjin corrected her with a soft giggle, earning a same reaction from her.

“Wow, that must be difficult!”

“Oh, it’s really not that bad!” He shrugged, and even though it would have looked like he was just trying to show off, it wasn’t about anything like that. He merely got used to the silly and childish behaviours since he was a part of the organizing committee for the sixth year already. After a while, people get the hang of it and nothing seems too extreme.

“I’m Mirae, by the way,” she introduced herself with a soft smile, one that was like a breeze of the gentle spring wind after only seeing her cold demeanour. She may have looked rigid and strict when she was with the girls, but maybe they needed this amount of strictness to behave well. After all, Sungjin knew all too well that you have to use different methods with different children.

I know, he wanted to say, but he bit down on his tongue before he could say anything that indicated that he was stalking her. To be precise, he was examining her from head to toe the last time they met, and that’s how he took notice of the name on her shirt.

“I’m Sungjin.” He bobbed his head with an equally friendly smile, reaching his hand out and Mirae immediately shook hands with him; quickly and gently. When they both backed away a bit, a moment of silence fell upon the two of them, yet Sungjin had been meaning to ask her a question even the day before, so he didn’t want to dismiss it this time. “How did you know that we would come here today, too?”

Mirae let out a chuckle when she heard his question. Her chuckle was like a flower that was in bloom: beautiful, elegant and thriving. Sungjin knew he could listen to it without getting sick of it, without getting sick of the sight that accompanied the pleasant sound.

“We know about your schedules because we don’t want to interfere with your activities too much. We never know if our kids would get along well with yours, and we really don’t want to hear complaints that the children had to spend time with the kids from other camp just because we couldn’t take care of it,” Mirae explained thoroughly, her eyes shining with fondness.

“Honestly, we don’t know anything about your schedules,” Sungjin admitted nervously, wondering why JYP had never contacted them about the other camp’s activities. Maybe he really didn’t pay as much attention to the issue as Mirae’s superiors. Maybe they couldn’t even call it an issue since kids were bound to get along after a while, so why would have it mattered anyway?

“Until one of us knows, it’s okay,” the female voiced out reasonably, making Sungjin let out a genuine smile. He could already see why she was a team leader, she was not only confident and smart, but she could also make the younger ones listen to her. Even Young K, Wonpil and Dowoon were all different kind of leaders when it came to the kids in the camp, so it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that Mirae was also totally unique.

“And will we have another event together?” Sungjin asked smoothly, secretly curious if he could see her again.

“Well, our encounter yesterday wasn’t even planned, so I think only time will tell.” She shrugged her shoulders, not even giving a proper answer to his question, but maybe she was just as smooth as Sungjin himself, and she knew exactly when and where they would meet up again.

“Alright, then don’t tell me classified information,” Sungjin joked, acting like he was so sulky, and the girl smacked him in the chest.

“You are almost as nosy as the girls.”

“I’ve just wanted to know if your girls will steal our Minho again,” he teased with a wide grin, pointing at the guy who was laughing freely with the six girls around him. He seemed to have fun with them, and even though his team leader knew that he couldn’t have fallen in love with all of the six girls, at least he had made some new friends too.

“If you are that curious, I can reassure you that we’ll steal your Minho only twice in the future,” Mirae responded with a cheeky smile.

Sungjin was aware of the fact that they could still meet more than twice (just like yesterday which was indeed unplanned), but it seemed unfair that they were so close, yet they didn’t frequently bump into each other. At least, it seemed unfair to him considering that he wanted to see her more.

“Alright, alright, that’s not too bad,” Sungjin concluded with an unfathomable facial expression, and may it be leader instinct or the fact that he didn’t check on the boys for a while, but he looked at the youngsters just in time to see when Changbin almost choked on some rucola.

“Oh gosh, Changbin, are you okay?” He ran to the boy to hit his back a few times, helping the boy to cough some more. The dark-haired kid merely nodded but he couldn’t talk for the time being because he was still caught up in the aftermath of his actions.

“Y-yeah, sure,” he managed the words out after he was over the worst part of his coughing and held onto Sungjin’s shoulder until he became himself again.

“Drink some water to help your insides going!” Sungjin suggested gently as he went back to his own water bottle to give it to the poor boy who received it thankfully. Maybe that was the first time Sungjin could earn a thankful smile from the usually closed off guy, and the fact that he could achieve something like this warmed his heart a bit. Of course, he wouldn’t have admitted it for the world, yet he was extremely thankful that he could be there for him, and he didn’t dismiss his help. For moments like this, everything that he had to endure during those two weeks was worth it.

“Thanks,” Changbin said as he let go of Sungjin’s shoulder and let out the last cough of his. When the team leader made sure that he was really okay, he retreated back to Mirae, and sat down with a sigh.

“Is he okay?” the girl inquired though she was probably not as worried as she had been if Sungjin hadn’t taken care of the boy.

“Yeah, sure.”

“You are really good with kids,” Mirae complimented casually, and it wasn’t the first time he had heard the exact same words, but it was definitely the first he felt uncharacteristically nervous because of such a compliment. Hearing it from someone like her did mean a lot to him.

“Oh well, I’m just trying my best,” he remarked gently, thinking of all the times he had managed to assist the children and prevent any mishaps. Needless to say, mishaps were likely to occur, and even if he had been their father, he couldn’t have saved them from some bruises and falls, but until everyone was happy and in one piece, it was okay. Kids recovered quickly, both from injuries and bad memories, so he wasn’t as worried about them as he had been when he first started out as a team leader.

“Alright, everyone, let’s go up that watch-out tower!” Jae announced with a clap of his hands, and Sungjin could have strangled him in that moment for ruining his moment.

“I’ll go back to my girls then,” Mirae said with a bitter smile and stood up to brush the dust off her jeans.

“Sure, see you soon then!” Sungjin waved in her direction, not knowing what else to do because he couldn’t have made her stay.

“Sooner than you think.” She winked and before he could ask what she meant by that, she was already out of his reach, taking care of her own team.

“I’m pretty sure that he’s really whipped now,” Jisung muttered under his breath, but of course Sungjin could still hear it. When he looked at the kid who was smirking from ear to ear, he wished he could swipe that smirk off his face, yet he was right after all. He was really whipped for Mirae, and they didn’t even speak a lot. What was in the air, really?

The two exchanged a few glances here and there in the next hour while they were going up and down the watch-out tower with different groups and started wrapping up their picnic in the resting area. For some odd reason, Felix couldn’t stop singing High School Musical songs the whole time, and when the high notes part came, and his voice resembled a pan that fell onto the ground, Bang Chan covered the younger’s boy mouth to shut him up but it was no use since the moment he removed his hand, he went back to Something New anyway. Sungjin shook his head at the boy’s antics, yet he couldn’t stop smiling while they were walking back to their base.

He really hoped that Mirae was right and that they would meet sooner than he would have assumed.

 Two days passed and still no sign of Mirae or the kids from the other camp. As they were situated on the completely opposite sides of the lake, and for safety reasons, even those cabins were pretty far from the lake, there was no chance of them even interacting if they didn't go near the lake.

During those two days, they had a games' night when the different teams were competing against each other in almost every possible game including football, cheerleading, arm wrestling, mini archery, IQ quizzes, roleplays from famous kdramas and Activity. Then, the next day, they had a bake-off between the different cabins, and needless to say, it turned out to be a literal mess. Considering that even Sungjin's team was in two different cabins, he didn't know where to help out, and some kids looked like they had never set foot in the kitchen. Hyunjin almost turned on the mixer when Jisung's hand was still in the dough, Seungmin poured too much milk into the mixture and was surprised when it turned out odd while Woojin still couldn't let go of the BBQ idea. Bang Chan and Minho were the ones who tried their best to keep their cabins together, plus they knew a thing or two about baking, so they could save their teams from complete failure.

Young K's team was, on the other hand, a complete mess, and since the guy himself liked eating more than making food for himself, he nodded to every idea the kids had, and that's how even the two cabins had completely different cookies from the very same ingredients. Moonbin, Sanha, Rocky, Chani and Hwiyoung ended up making vanilla-raspberry muffins with star and heart shaped food decoration and even though the dough stuck to the baking paper, it was at least edible. Q, Hwall, Kevin and Taeyang made a chocolate-raspberry dough and put it on the tray with all kinds of edible decoration and called it a cake. It was a bit too sugary and a bit too artificial because of the amount of artificial colouring they put into the mixture, but the taste wasn’t so bad.

Wonpil's cabins were the best as always as the girls were really good at cooking and baking too. Even those who were not so interested in baking took part in the making, melting Wonpil's heart with their efforts. Wonpil was watching them from a safe distance, murmuring to himself how lucky he was to get a team like this.

Surprisingly, out of the boys, Dowoon's two cabins were the best ones, at least their cookies looked decent and their tastes were good, too. Plus, the way Hendery smiled throughout the whole preparation warmed everyone's heart. Though everyone knew that Dowoon would have complimented the outcome even if the boys had totally messed it up because last year he even ate a totally burnt cake just to save his team's pride. Needless to say, he had a horrible stomach ache for the rest of the day.

The two days were eventful, that's for sure, yet despite it all, Sungjin missed talking to her the most, and he had already regretted not asking for her number. That way at least he could have contacted her even if they had been on the opposite sides of the lake.

He was already starting to give up when on the third day after they met, everyone was invited for a movie night to watch Spiderman: Homecoming. It was an outside event, the movie was shown on a screen beside the lake and it shouldn't have come as a surprise that the other camp was also there since it was organized by the dude who ran the whole place including the two camp sites with the lake and the secluded forest.

When Sungjin settled down with his own kids, he caught sight of the confident team leader who had just sat down with her girls, lying down on the blanket with the six girls. Mirae was also searching for a familiar face, Sungjin was sure that she was looking for him becaseu she stopped looking around only when she caught sight of him. They both broke into a huge smile when they exchanged a look.

“You can go, you know.” Bang Chan nudged his shoulder, pointing in Mirae's direction.

Sungjin suddenly felt guilty for being so obvious that even the kids themselves realized that something must have been going on with those two. Yet, he really couldn't help it; Mirae was really charming, and the more time he spent without her, the more he wanted to see her. It was crazy that he was already missing her when he couldn’t see her for two days, yet it was the truth.

“Ah no, I can't let you be alone,” Sungjin protested right away and shook his head in disbelief. He couldn’t just leave those kids alone, they could have seriously hurt others or themselves. He always put the kids' safety first. Always.

“Come on! We are just watching a movie, nothing can go wrong,” Bang Chan reasoned, giving a slight pat on the team leader’s shoulder to prompt him to move. Sungjin knew that he was right, yet he was still very much unconvinced about the whole idea.

“You sure?” He furrowed his eyebrows, yet the 17-year-old guy nodded so hard that his head almost fell off.

“Yeah, sure. Just go!”

With a few more encouraging smiles and nudges, Sungjin was finally reassured enough to get up and walk towards Mirae and her girls. It didn't take a lot of time for the little group to realize that he was approaching them; when the wavy-haired girl squealed, so did the rest of them, and soon enough they pushed Mirae towards Sungjin.

“We don't want to see you until the end of the movie. Period,” the shortest girl (maybe she was Soyeon, Sungjin couldn't really recall her name) told their team leader who seemed so shy all of a sudden. It looked like Mirae wasn’t the boss here anymore, it was rather the teenage girl who literally told her off.

“Alright, but take care of yourself and let me know if something happens or if any of you need anything,” Mirae told them after she had recovered from the shock her own team caused her, furrowing her eyebrows worriedly.

“Yeah, sure, we will, just go! Don't make your Prince Charming wait too long,” the girls chattered cheerfully and laughed when they saw how red the two adults' faces became. They were sure not prepared for such reactions from their kids.

They silently decided to move away from the mass of people, so they decided on a little bench that wasn’t far from the scene, but it was far enough for them to at least hear each other properly.

“The kids are surely up for something,” Sungjin remarked with a soft giggle, earning a joyous laughter from the girl.

“I wonder what,” she topped his comment with a wide smile, and she was so beautiful under the sunset, Sungjin had a hard time breathing. She was painted crimson by the last rays of sunshine on the horizon and her jet-black hair seemed chest-nut brown in the midst of the colour palette that the nature has created around them. Her eyes seemed to be holding the stars that would soon move onto the night sky, shining and twirling in joy and affection. Her laugh added a mesmerizing melody to the background music that was presented by the chattering of the kids, the chirping of the birds and the sound of the scattering leaves. Everything was so picturesque, and her feminine charms added even more to the beauty of the sunset. It was crazy how beautiful she was in her own natural way; no make-up, no lipstick, only her nails were painted baby blue, but it was probably the girls’ work and not her own.

“So what have you been up to these days with the kids?” Mirae inquired and curiously titled her head. Sungjin blinked a few to get back to reality and to avoid staring at the girl so intensely. Although he was pretty sure he had already messed up the latter.

That’s how he started talking about the bake-off and the games’ night and their solely camp-related conversation soon turned into getting to know each other, about the other’s family, brothers and sisters, their university studies, dream jobs, most memorable memories when they themselves were kids at camps, family vacation stories and their favourite foods. Sungjin may have embarrassed himself once or twice but Mirae was an excellent company, she couldn’t stop laughing at his facial expressions, and her laughter was contagious. Once, even a group of children turned back to shush them because they were being loud while it was time for a confession scene, and they almost died of laughter, they tried so hard to contain their emotions.

Sungjin never knew that he could get to know so much about someone in such a short spare of time, yet since they were both quite talkative, it all went well. On top of that, they were both the types to use hand gestures while talking, small wonder Mirae once accidentally hit Sungjin’s head when she was talking about a family holiday of hers. Yet, they merely laughed it off, there was nothing to be sorry about.

It was already the end of the movie with the credits list when they realized that they would need to go back to their own groups before they would make a mess without adult supervision.

“Wait!” Sungjin yelled after Mirae before she could scamper away, leaving him in misery for another few days. “Can you… I don’t know… at least give me your phone number, so that I can contact you?” he inquired nervously, tilting his head. He usually didn’t find it hard to bring up such topics, but he was oddly anxious when it came to the ever so confident team leader.

Mirae let out a soft chuckle in response and nodded her head.

“Of course,” she gave in without hesitation and told him her number on the spot. Even when she left, Sungjin was smiling to himself at the number on his screen, not quite believing what had just happened.

He was sure one very lucky man.

 “What’s good everybody?” said Jae that night, walking into the organizing committee’s cabinet like he was on the runway with such posture. Then, he pointed at his phone, wiggling his eyebrows to add to the whole ruckus. “I’m sending this song to our local lover boy, Bob the Builder!” he hollered gleefully, his trademark smile never leaving his face.

Everyone looked at him as if he had lost it; Wonpil blinked confusedly, looking like he was about to solve a Maths question with that furrowed eyebrows of his, Young K was grinning to himself even though it could be seen that he was merely there for the drama, he actually had no idea what was going on while Dowoon merely turned over and went back to sleep. Sungjin was the only one who knew exactly what the lanky guy had tried to imply, that’s why he was the only one whose face remained stern.

“I wanna know, know, know… what is love?” Jae busted from his phone, the lyrics accompanied by his stupid high school cheerleading dance. Young K snorted at the sight, covering his mouth not to make a lot of noise while Wonpil still resembled a statue.

“Mind sharing with us what’s going on?” Young K inquired as he glanced at Sungjin who let out a sigh. He knew there was no way he could hide it from the other guys, plus they were his friends after all. No matter how annoying they could be, they deserved to know the truth.

“There’s this girl who’s a team leader in the other camp and we’ve started talking.”

“And he’s also asked for her number!” Jae butted in with a knowing smirk, winking at the so-called lover boy.

“Yes, we’ve exchanged numbers, too,” Sungjin admitted as he put his hands into the air. There was really no way he could have got away with it if Jae was around. Considering that he was in charge of the group activities and didn’t supervise a group all day long, he had a lot of time to examine every single thing in the camp and to catch up with everything that was going on.

“Oh, nice one, dude!” Young K clapped his hands, cheering his friend on. Wonpil, who was lying down on the bed beside Sungjin’s, merely gave him a wide, supportive smile. He was always more serious and reserved than others, yet even his little actions meant a lot to him.

“And guess who’s managed to organize a bonfire night for both camps?” Jae asked overly enthusiastically, and even without waiting for a second, he exclaimed. “Yep, that’s right, it was me! So who’s your favourite boy, Bob?” he shouted into Sungjin’s ears when he got close to the boy.

Sungjin was more dumbfounded by the words he had said than by his actions, that’s why he didn’t push him away. Otherwise, he would have told him off right away.

“When it’s going to take place?” Wonpil spoke up for the first time since Jae’s grand entrance, yet the blonde guy couldn’t have been happier about the fact that he had decided to join in.

“This Sunday, my friend,” he answered immediately, then leaned closer to Sungjin to whisper into his ears. “Hope you’ll gonna thank me one day, buddy,” he remarked playfully, then patted Sungjin’ shoulder and continued on signing to the Twice the top of his lungs much to Dowoon’s annoyance who woke up from his peaceful sleep.

On the other hand, Sungjin couldn’t have cared less about Jae’s childish behaviour because his mind was already preoccupied with the news of the bonfire night. He immediately texted Mirae, asking if she had known about it, and she confirmed that she got to know about it during their daily meeting with the team leaders. She event sent a smiley emoji to him which warmed his heart, and his expression must have been expressive too since Young K cooed at him and Wonpil gave him a toothy smile.

“He’s so cute when he’s in love,” Young K mumbled to himself, but it was loud enough for him to hear it. Though he couldn’t deny it, instead he threw his pillow at the boy who grinned even wider after that.

Man, it was difficult to have such friends.

 After that, Sungjin felt like he was a part of a modern comedy. It seemed that the whole camp knew about his feelings towards Mirae and vice versa. Not just his kids but even bratty ones such as Chani gave him glances whenever they walked past him, and girls gushed over the fact that the team leader was all heart eyes for another team leader from the other camp.

As promised, Jae managed to get the bonfire night organized without any inconveniences, and he even tried to help Sungjin out by looking over the Stray Kids himself while Sungjin was talking with Mirae, yet it ended in Seungmin’s clothes catching fire and Jeongin almost burning himself when he wanted to reach for his sausage that fell into the fire, plus Woojin was still not over the fact that he hasn’t eaten chicken for almost a week, so Jae seemed more stressed after only a few minutes with the kids from the 8th and 9th cabin than he was all his life.

Needless to say, it wasn’t the first time things got out of control when others merely tried to help them to meet up again. When Minho and the six girls tried to set them up and got a whole picnic date ready, Yuqi twisted her ankle in the morning, and Mirae had to be there for her the whole day (at least, she wanted to be there for her) until she made sure that Yuqi was doing okay, and that the other five girls would assist her whenever she needed help. Not to mention the time when Young K invited Mirae over to their cabin for a dinner, yet it turned out that Sungjin was on a night trip with his group, so she was introduced to the other guys instead, and she had the opportunity to see a very dumbfounded Jae as he was walking out of the bathroom half-naked, a toothbrush hanging from his mouth, a very shy Dowoon who didn’t know what to say to the girl, an angelic Wonpil who smiled the whole time and praised Sungjin as much as he could and an overly anxious Young K who mentally killed himself over and over again for messing things up so badly.

Though there were times when they could finally meet up, usually during sleepless nights and at the break of dawn when the kids were still sleeping, yet they gladly gave up their precious sleep just to talk a bit or to see each other a bit more. The more they met, the harder he fell for her, and he knew there was really no going back. The thought of Mirae occupied his thoughts all day long, and he waited to see her every day like a kid waits for Christmas every year. He was still a kid at heart, of course he was, yet this newfound enthusiasm really made him feel like a child, just like the ones he was watching over. Sometimes it was enough for him to know that she was doing okay, and no one fell into a trash bin in the other camp (yep, it happened once with a guy named Wong Yukhei), other times he was over the moon hearing her laughter that could light up his heart more than any firework could.

Yet, as all good things come to an end, the two-week long camp was also nearing its end very soon, and just when things were about to get serious, they already had to start packing. The goodbye was inevitable, therefore they decided to meet up personally before Sungjin and JYP’s students would leave since Mirae and the other kids came later, so they also stayed a bit more.

Sungjin was uncharacteristically nervous on the day of their departure, and when all was well and every student was on the bus that would take them back to Seoul, his eyes were searching for the oh so familiar orbs. They had agreed on meeting at 9 as the bus would take off at 9:30, so they would have some time for themselves, yet it was nearing 9:15 and the girl was nowhere to be seen. He was a bit afraid that she had forgotten about it even though he knew well that she hadn’t forgotten about anything. He had a hunch that something had happened at the camp and she couldn’t leave earlier, so when Mirae came panting and catching her breath, he knew that he was right.

“I’m so sorry, Shuhua was pranked by the girls and I needed to calm her down before she would set fire to the whole cabinet. Oh my gosh, I was so afraid that I wouldn’t get here on time,” Mirae explained so fast that Sungjin could barely get the words out.

“It’s okay, it’s really okay,” he reassured her as he put a hand on her shoulder, and merely laughed it off. Even her presence was enough to pacify his crazily beating heart. Even her voice was enough to make him feel satisfied even though they were about to say goodbye.

“I really wanted to say a proper goodbye,” Mirae admitted with a bittersweet smile, unsaid confessions and worries hiding behind her ever so lovely smile. Even if she had been running to get here, even if her hair was in a really messy bun and her clothes were still dirty from the previous night’s storm, she was so utterly beautiful.

“You know we don’t have to,” he said gently, his hand not leaving her shoulder. “We can keep talking even when the camp ends.”

“Well, after all, we live and study in the same city.” She nodded and let out a relieved sigh. Maybe she was afraid that Sungjin wouldn’t want to see her after the camp. Maybe she was afraid that he didn’t feel the same way. He couldn’t tell why she was so relieved all of a sudden, but her reaction prompted him to ask the question he had been meaning to ask for a while.

“You want to grab lunch with me when you finish here?”

Mirae froze for a second before her lips started curling upwards, eyes shining with joy. Sungjin thought that he had totally messed up everything when her eyes widened, yet it seemed that she was merely surprised about his question and not shocked.

“Sure.” She nodded enthusiastically and seeing her smile becoming wider and wider was like watching the sun rise on the horizon. “Is it a date?” she blurted out cheekily, and now it was Sungjin’s turn to get surprised.

Yet, he assumed that because she asked such a question, she actually thought of the possibility of them having a date. Which meant that he could also think that way.

“Yes, it is,” he concluded with a nod of his head.

“Then, it is,” she repeated with a wide grin and cutely scrunched her nose when her cheeks turned really red. Sungjin would have never thought that he would see the ever so confident and quite solemn team leader become so embarrassed. but he was glad that he could see yet another side of her.

“Get on, lover boy! We need to go!” Jae hollered after him, breaking their little moment into tiny little pieces.

When Sungjin rolled his eyes, Mirae slightly nudged his shoulder.

“Go!” She pointed at the bus where the kids were waiting for their scene to come to an end. Sungjin knew that they had been watching the whole thing from afar, yet he hoped that they didn’t hear a thing. “We’ll see each other soon anyway,” she promised with a sweet smile and before he could even respond to that, she gave him a quick peck on the cheeks and turned on her heel.

“Oh my gosh, she kissed him!”

“Shut up, Jeongin! That was only a kiss on the cheek!”

“I saw what I saw!”

“Then get new glasses!” Seungmin snorted and rolled his eyes at the youngest’s antics.

Needless to say, this year’s camp was full of twists and turns, but at least they were all in one piece and they had one more lover boy in the crew.

Maybe next year’s going to be even better.

[sitinthelight]

I’m going through a wild ride emotionally. I don’t know what I’m doing. Not a clue.

I really like this guy. I REALLY like this guy.

I need to break up with Zach. But I’m reluctant of the outcome and scared of making his mental state go down hill even more than it already has. Like, I know there is never a good time to break up with someone. The right time never comes because you’ll keep making excuses, but his grandmother is dying and his mom keeps freaking out on him and his anxiety and depression is through the roof and it’ll be one more thing to add to his list of pretty shitty things happening in his life.

But I’m not happy. I don’t want to deal with any more of this. I want to live my life and explore other options and I know it’s best for me to be upfront and honest with him. I tried having this conversation with him and I keep crying and can’t get past much. And then he keeps denying and ignoring. He knows whats up. I know this can’t be a surprise for him. 

We messed up our lease but hopefully we’ll only have to pay a fee to break it so we can move as planned. However, we aren’t sure so we have to wait for Zach to get back into town and for the apartment manager guy to come back as well. I’m not ready to move. I don’t look forward to it. But at the same time, I’m so sick and tired of this town and living with Zach and I need a break. 

I’m keeping my head up. My future is bright if I work for it. I’m going to go back to school, hopefully do well with this new career choice. I’m going to move to Charlotte, decorate my room really cute. Find a decent stable job while I finish my new major. Maybe restart an old relationship or new ones with all types of people. I’m going to join clubs and groups. Take dance lessons, maybe even pick up the drums. Get more into different physical activities that aren’t just going to the gym. Eat even healthier and find cool restaurants and bars to frequent. Be an adult who loves and enjoys her life.

I enjoy it so much when Zach isn’t home. For some reason, I’m so much more productive when he’s not here. I got a lot of cleaning done. I’m happy with my work. I cook more because I don’t have to worry about what he’s going to eat or if he’ll like what I’m making (because most of what I eat is really clean and usually vegan). I don’t feel the stress of him being here and I hate saying this, he really kills the mood and promotes a more negative atmosphere.

I’m trying to learn how to be a more happy and positive person. I’m done with the self-deprecating jokes and the really dark outlook on life. Yeah, a lot of things in this world suck right now because humanity can’t collectively get it’s shit together. I hope eventually that mother nature kills us all and restarts a beautiful earth without such an evasive species like we are. But until then, I won’t be happy until I think happy. I look forward to going to therapy in a soonish point of my life to help. My social anxiety is improving to some degree too.

Life is just so complicated and it really doesn’t need to be but it is and that can’t be helped if I want to continue on as a member of this capitalist society. So I have to make the most of it and learn to work hard while taking care of myself. 

Meaning, I need to cut out the relationships in my life that drag me down. I don’t have a lot of relationships in my life. Most of my friendships involve me occasionally sending a text back and then forgetting to reply back or honestly, I’m just never in the mood for conversation. Texting is hard. I can’t read between the lines and I can’t see their face for cues or hear their voice. Half the time, I’m really bored when I text most people. I don’t find it engaging unless they’re pretty good at writing. 

I’m also a pathetic hopeless romantic with this crush of mine. But it’s reciprocated feelings and because of my past history with this guy, that’s something I could have never thought would actually happen. It’s almost strange, I’m seeing a side of him that I only got glimpses of before. A side I always wished and dreamed of seeing and 5 years later, I’m finally seeing it. And it’s nice. Honestly, I don’t know exactly what our standing will be once I do break up with Zach. I don’t know what’s going to happen or how much time I’ll need before I’m ready to really date again. It’s all up in the air. I don’t even know if we’ll be compatible enough for the long term. I’m going to be getting out of a 5 year relationship. I’ve learned a lot about myself and how to handle relationships through the multiple ups and downs and I’ve become more used to a relaxed intimacy rather than the rush of puppy love. Don’t get me wrong, I like the excitement of starting something new. There is also an excitement of knowing that I’m not entirely crazy for having liked this guy so much in the past. I think I made a post on tumblr explaining the situation but I’m pretty sure I deleted it. So I don’t feel like going back to see what I have mentioned and honestly, like 2 people read these so it doesn’t really matter. I more or less write these for myself because it’s therapeutic to vent into the void. 

It’s also easier than journaling because funny enough, this side blog is easier to hide than a physical notebook would be. 

I’m also appreciative that he doesn’t see me as some perfect dream girl. That was a huge fear of mine. That’s a huge reason on why I don’t want to be in this current relationship right now. I love Zach with all of my heart but not in the same way he loves me. I can’t in that same way. He doesn’t recognize my flaws, he rarely calls out my “bad” behavior. He doesn’t really help me grow as a person. But the guy I like, he has been subtly calling me out and recognizing my flawed behavior and mentioning to me as a concern of his and his honest opinions. Usually, I don’t take criticism very well but he’s making me stop and reflect. He’s doing it in such a nice way too and like, how are you already helping me kind of improve as a person and we aren’t even dating? yet, at least. 

Zach told me that he would have already proposed to me if he could have afforded a ring when I tried to bring up wanting to break up with him. Even if the engagement was a long one until we were ready to marry, that’s something he wishes he could give me.

Just that alone, tells me that he doesn’t know me as much as he thinks he does. Or maybe he doesn’t pay attention to the person that I am and he sees me more of a concept of what he thinks I am. Because since the moment we fell in love and started having multiple conversations about the future, I’ve told him that I don’t feel comfortable being proposed to until I’m at a stable point of my life. Until I’m able to provide for myself and take care of myself and that my partner would be at that point too. I told him I would say no until we got to that point. 

Second, I don’t care about an engagement ring. Especially what I’m sure he would pick out. Because I know his mom would help him pick it out and it’d be something very out of my character. Diamond. It would be diamond and probably too gaudy for my taste and too expensive for me to be comfortable with. 

Like, propose to me with a keychain. That is so much more me and much more useful than a diamond ring.

Honestly, I do want a ring. But I want it to be from a gem that we mined/found together because I want to take up rockhounding as a hobby. That would be so much more meaningful to me. A little ruby or sapphire or emerald from a NC mine. A simple ring with that stone professionally cut. That would mean the world to me. Can I just, print out instructions for the next person that wants to propose? Maybe I have to be the one to propose with this idea? But like...I want the ring...so someone better propose to me with this idea when we’re ready. It’s a great idea. 

There is just so much that we don’t see eye to eye on and I know it doesn’t bother Zach but it fucking bothers me. I want to join the peace corps and he hates the idea of me doing that. I remember bringing it up to him and then saying, you know they accept couples right? You could join too and we wouldn’t be apart. Of course that idea wasn’t up his alley either, which is fair. It’s not for everyone. But like, I feel a calling towards it and I WILL do it one day. Fuck if I will let anyone stop me from doing it. 

His view on politics is luke warm. He doesn’t have much of an opinion on anything, he just knows to agree to keep out of arguing and difficult conversations. He doesn’t call out his friends when they say things that are sexist, racist, etc. He just lets them continue on. 

He wants three kids, at least one or two being of his own blood. 

I don’t want to be pregnant. Ever. Honestly, I don’t think I even want kids. If I ever change my mind, I’d rather adopt than grow a child inside of me. We’ve talked about this and he’s okay with adopting as long as it’s a baby but like here is the thing, I don’t like babies. I’d rather adopt a child that’s past the potty training stage. I’d be fine with adopting one that’s older. I just don’t like babies and don’t know how to deal with them. I can’t even properly hold them without feeling like I’m going to drop the world’s most expensive vase. 

Also, the names he has for children are names that I don’t like. Actually, one of the names, I really fucking hate. And if we had kids, I know his mom would be a big part of helping raise them and I’m not comfortable with that. Because I don’t trust that she’d respect my parenting style and rules because if I do have kids, I want them to develop good healthy habits as soon as possible so it sticks with them for life. She’d fuck it all up because she’d be living with us and I don’t know if I can deal with the fact that she’ll be living with us when she gets older honestly. My own mom doesn’t even want to live with me when she’s older. At least not in the same house. My mom wants a tiny home in my backyard in exchange for keeping up with the garden because I don’t have a green thumb. 

Zach and I just want different things in life and every time I bring this up, he just starts to agree with me and says that being with me has changed his mind a little and he’d be willing to give those things up just to be with me. Like no! Don’t do that! Never ever ever give up on what you desire for another person! Like if you want kids, find someone who also wants kids! Why continue a relationship when you know important decisions like that will have to come up and especially with kids, man. Like bringing kids into a relationship is such a risky move if only one parent really wanted them.

I just, idk. I take the kids thing really seriously. I never want someone to change what they’ve always wanted for me. I prefer dating people who don’t want children. It’s so much easier to already have that part in agreement. 

Zach and I get along really well. Amazingly well. I’ve never meshed better with another person in my life. But we don’t share the same core values. We have the foundation made but nothing to keep it down. He doesn’t see that. He’s so willing to be flexible to fit into my life and I don’t want that. I don’t want anyone to change their life for me. I want to find someone with a complimentary lifestyle instead. That’s important to me. 

I’m just going on about all this super personal shit because I really need to vent. I could talk about these things to the guy I like but he doesn’t need to know the burden of my current relationship to that extent. Like, it’s so much. That’s also a lot of pressure to deal with. I want to be honest with him and talk about these types of things to him when the time comes though. Like, we’re already having discussions about things. For one, I know he doesn’t want kids either. We also share pretty much the same political views, I’m just pretty sure he’s more thought out and rational about who and what he supports than I am. I’m much more emotional and need to be better educated about some things. 

I look forward to possibly starting a new relationship with him. It’s shitty to say because I am currently in a relationship. I do believe I’ve crossed the line of cheating in quite a few ways. But like, emotions. I’m an emotional being. I feel things and I feel the strong desire to want to fall for someone else and I want to follow that and see where it goes. I’m up for anything. This is an adventure I want to pursue, regardless of the outcome. For all I know, we aren’t meant for each other. And that’s okay because it’s life and I’ll find someone else even better down the road if so.

I just...don’t like where I am right now. I want it to be over with. 

[ourbooksuniverse]

Meeting Azriel and Cassian

Summary: What if Azriel and Cassian had decided to go say hi to Feyre during her second week at the Hewn City. Set during chapter 11 of ACOMAF.

Special thanks to @howtotameyourillyrian​ for proofreading and giving me feedback and just for being an amazing person!!!

My other writing AO3 « Formerly Evil Queen (Nessian) « Meeting Azriel and Cassian « Tamlin and Ilante in the mud « Part 1 « Part 2 

Feyre POV:

Feyre hadn’t seen Rhysand all week, neither had she seen Morrigan. What was fine by her, she didn’t feel like having people around anyways. She had taken to reading in one of the little lounges overlooking the mountains, and had almost finished her first book when she heard something. No, not something, but someone; multiple someones it seemed. And they were coming her way.

“I’m never helping Rhys pick out his clothes again,” murmerd a male - his voice like shadows given form, dark and smooth.

“Me neither,” said a second deep male voice. “Isn’t that Nuala and Cerridwen’s job?! How the hell should I know what color he should wear, I wear armor most of the time, not fancy suits,” the male continued.

Feyre felt utterly confused. Were these people seriously talking about Rhysand and his clothes?  

“Did you know he gave a hour long speech yesterday about how onyx and jet black are two completely different shades of black?” the first male asked the second. Then he went on in a high whiny voice imitating Rhysand. “No Azriel, this one is totally different from that one. Don’t you see that? No I don’t see the difference between two identical black suits Rhys!” it was clear that the male was smiling when he talked about his High Lord.

“No!” the second male laughed and Feyre couldn’t help but snort in amusement at the ridiculous story. But that amusement faded quickly she had been to distracted by the story to notice how close the two males where to her little lounge. But now they were in front of her: both of them were tall, their wings tucked in tight to powerful muscled bodies covered in plated, dark leather that reminded her of the worn scales of some serpente beast. Identical long swords were each strapped down the column of their spines - the blades beautiful in their simplicity. Like their High Lord, the males - warriors- were dark-haired, tan-skinned. But unlike Rhysand, their eyes were hazel and fixed on her.

Azriel POV:

The shadows that always accompanied him had told him she had heard every word of their little story.  They had also told him she found it funny.  It seemed like their plan was working. The plan to go say hi to the girl they had heard so much about. Cassian and he had come up with it last week when they “accidentally” overheard Rhys and Mor arguing about Feyre, how he was sure that Feyre hated him, how she only saw him as the High Lord of Nightmares, as a villain. So the two of them had decided that they should show Feyre that Rhys is the High Lord of Dreams. They also decided to make Rhys seem like the Dork of Darkness he truly is.

Now, standing in front of the girl, something in his heart broke. She was so skinny, like grief was eating her alive, the dark circles under her eyes stark against her pale skin. Gods, had the girl slept at all after what happened after UTM? Why was no one at the Spring Court helping her? Azriel decided then and there that he would sent spies to Spring, even in Rhysand had told him not to. He realized he was staring at the girl, and tried to come up with something to say. Lucky for him - or not - Cassian was now talking to her.

Cassian POV:

Now that Cassian saw the girl Rhys and Mor had been talking about, saw that she looked more dead than alive. He decided that Spring Court was a court of numbered days. And after he was done ripping that court into small pieces, he was going to talk to Rhys. Hell, he was going to kick his ass across Velaris for not getting the girl out of the Spring Court months ago. Why the hell was Rhys sending her back to that shit eating horrible excuse of a High Lord. Cassian noticed that Azriel had gone rigid next to him. Shit they had to say something. So he opened his mouth and started talking.

“Hello, you must be Feyre” Cassian purred at the female in front of him.

In a quiet but surprisingly demanding voice she said, “Hello, who are you?”

“This is Azriel,” Cassian said his hand clapping Azriel’s back, “the lack of emotion on his face is because smiling gives you wrinkles, so his resting bitch face is to keep him pretty,” Cassian said, introducing his brother, who’s “pretty” face was currently wrinkled, but not because he was smiling. No, his brother was giving him a look that told him he should check his next meal for laxatives and his clothes for itching powder.

“And this is Cassian,” Azriel said with a wicked smile on his face “And he is the reason they have to put instructions on shampoo bottles.”

“Well that’s just mean.” Cassian said grinning.

“You bring out the best insults in me” Azriel responded eyes full of happiness and love for his brother. They both turned to look at Feyre, who was looking at them with her mouth hanging slightly open.

“And why are you here?” she asked them.

“We were looking for Rhysand.” Azriel lied. They both knew Rhys was currently somewhere in the library in Velaris. They had tried to go talk to him earlier this morning, but the bastard was hiding from them. Something he had been doing often this last couple of months since he returned from UTM. Whenever one of them had tried to find him - and the few times they had found him - it had taken them 4 or 5 hours to do it. The only time Cassian had actually found Rhys in the library was when he was almost being eaten alive by the monster that lived in the lowest levels of the library AGAIN!

“Have you seen him? He is about this high” Cassian went on, holding his hand in the air indicating Rhys’s hight. Ooh they would be in trouble if Rhys found out about what they where doing. But his brother needed all the help he could get with this female and who were they to not help their brother? So he continued, “he is smart and funny, but sometimes he can be a bit cranky,” Cassian said as Azriel rolled his eyes, trying his best not to laugh.

“I know who he is and he is not here. He hasn’t been here all week” Feyre said.

“Oh well then, would you like some company?” Cassian said, trying to look as friendly and non.threatening as possible, so they wouldn’t spook the girl more than they already had.

“Eum” she stammered, cleary doubting their mental stability.

“What are you reading?” he ask her quickly, lest she decided that they were indeed crazy.

Feyre POV:

The winged males in front of her seemed to be nervous, like they were scared she would sent them away.  They also seemed crazy, funny, yet bat shit crazy. Maybe they were trying to intimidate her into keeping her mouth closed about what they said about their High Lord earlier? Although it might be the weirdest intimidation she’d ever seen. Maybe it was a way to get her to lower her guard so they could hurt her? Then again, Rhysand had assured her that she was safe, that no one would harm her. Feyre suddenly realized, she hadn’t given them an answer and looked up at them. They were looking at her with something like hope in their eyes. So, hesitantly, she showed them the book she was reading.

The pretty one, Azriel, smiled when she showed it to them. “I read that one” he said.

“Me too,” Cassian said. “What do you think of the main character?”

Did they really just asked her her opinion about the book? “I like her,” Feyre answered nervously. Which appeared to be the right answer if the look on their faces was any indication.

Cassian POV:

This was not going well, Cassian though, Feyre looked uncomfortable, but her eyes lit up for just a second when she answered his question. So he decided that if they were going to get in trouble with Rhys for talking to Feyre, he was going to make it worth the trouble they would get. Azriel seemed to think the same thing. So he sat down in one of the chairs in front of her.  

“Where are you in the book? So we don’t spoil anything for you,” he asked.

“I only have two more chapters left,” Feyre answered in a small voice.

“What do you think of the love interest?” Azriel asked.

“I like her, she seems a good match for her,” Feyre said, this time her voice was a little steadier.

Cassian nodded enthusiastically. “ I love their relationship, love how they didn’t force her to be with the hyper masculine privileged male. Like it is so obvious she’s gay.”

Azriel smiles softly “ I agree with Cassian.”

Feyre POV:

The three of them talked about the book for a long time. At some point, Cassian disappeared for a couple of minutes, only to show up again with cookies and milk.

“Here have a cookie, I stole them from Mor’s room, so they are probably expensive and stolen from Rhys,” Cassian said chipper as he handed her and Azriel one.

Hesitantly, Feyre took one of the cookies and the glass of milk he offered her. She took a little bite and moaned when she tasted what had to be the best cookies in the whole damn world. The two males, now both with a cookie in their hands, were smiling at her.  Feyre wondered how these males, who were now talking about how cute the puppies were, were the same males Lucien and Tamlin had told her were horrible. They seemed nice. Not once did they ask her about the Spring Court or what happened UTM.

She hadn’t realized she was staring at them until Azriel asked her another question.  

“How are you enjoying your stay here?” he asked, the shadows that seemed part of him curling around his ear.

“I kind of like it here” she told him honestly.

A kind smile spread on his lips, which turn into a full smile when Cassian asked her how big of a pain in the ass Rhysand was being.

Something in her heart felt lighter now after the hours she’d spent talking to Cassian and Azriel, so she told them about the shoe she threw at Rhys the first day she was here. Which - to her delight - made Cassian fall of his chair as he laughed.

Azriel POV:

They had been talking to Feyre for the most of the afternoon, carefully avoiding certain topics. Azriel had to admit, she was smart and had some interesting insights on the characters in the book. He understood now why Rhysand liked her; she would fit in with their little family perfectly. If only she didn’t have to go back to Spring. He was about to ask her, if she wanted to read the next book in the series, when he felt Rhysand’s presence. The look on Cassian’s face told him, he had noticed it too. Feyre seemed the only one who didn’t know who now came their way. They needed to get out! Cassian stood up and Feyre looked confused at the sudden change.

“It seems like we have to go,” he said to Feyre, who still didn’t seem to notice Rhysand making his way to them.

“It was nice meeting you.” Cassian blurted out.

“It was really nice meeting you” Azriel agreed.

“We should talk again, once you finish the book.” Cassian said, nervously looking around.

“Goodbye Feyre” Azriel said, grabbing Cassian’s arm and starting to drag him in away from Feyre.

“Bye Feyre,” Cassian said with a wink, stumbling after Azriel.

They just rounded the corner when they heard Rhys’s purr “Hello Feyre darling”. It seemed that they had gotten away with it, but they were wrong. Because not moments later, they heard Rhys’s angry voice in their mind “You idiots are in trouble!” It was quiet for a few moments before Rhys’s voice sounded in their minds again, softer this time. “Thank you for keeping her company.”

Note: I wrote the scene where Cassian is looking for Rhysand in the library and finds Bryaxis instead.  -->  Part 1: Looking for Rhysand

[pocketofjeonbunny]

100 reasons to stan the Kim Taehyung 💜

When Tae sneezes into Kookie’s face by accident and Kookie sneezes back on him as revenge 

When he drew leashes on BTS and then got beat up later

Taehyung: “Oppa will be back.” 

When he teaches Victoria to call Jimin, ‘Jiminie babo’ *insert Jimin’s “what the hell”* 

When he spoke Russian and English to the zombies in attempt to stop them from tagging him

When he came rushing in with his bike to join Hope on the Street and then joins their dancing (8:00)

When he failed to successfully create a heart with Namjoon 3 times before getting it right

When he attempted 50 billion times to bottle flip but then Kookie came along and go it in 2 tries 

When Tae was hiding under a mattress during a game where Kookie was to find Jimin and Tae while blindfolded (3:38) 

When he tried to play the saxophone, claiming that he could play it really well, but had the boys dying because it sounded like a boat horn

The way he sprinted when he spotted a pigeon (it was actually a seagull) on the beach (1:19) 

Taehyung speaking his alien language 

When he makes pyjamas look extremely fashionable 

When he was love struck over Chopa

When he smugly showed off Chopa’s skills in front of Kookie and Miri

His million dollar smile that can blind your eyes with love, cripple your heart and make you feel all warm and fuzzy and giddy inside 

When he points out his pimples and tells the camera to say hello to his friend

When he was over the moon for gaining weight

When he said he believed that rabbits existed on the moon

When Kookie, in American Hustle Life, made Tae eat onion as a punishment (although he was spitting it out secretly)

When in Bon Voyage, Tae knew he was being pranked by the boys but played along by pranking them back

 When he pretended he could hear the members talking on the giant hill although he was just using their mic

Tae screaming, ‘Its my birthday’ in the middle of a Fire performance 

When Tae and Yoongi were told to describe Daegu in one word at the same time and he said ‘intestines’

When Taehyung was hardcore dancing to PSY’s ‘Daddy’ at SBS Inkigayo

When he was running from the toilets while yelling “GALLANT GALLANT!” because he didn’t want to miss Gallant’s performance

When in Rookie King, Tae sabotaged Jimin’s team in a team vs team cooking show by adding loads of salt because he knows his team would lose

When Tae knew the camera was focusing on him during an award show during a performance so he planned to sing along with the song but then sang the wrong lyrics and cracked up so hard when he realised everyone saw him mess up 

When Tae and Jin pretended to physically fight over their ‘girlfriend’ who was the camera 

When he was whipping like a pro

When he was singing the lyrics of ‘Me you’ to Jimin while dramatically and cutely pointing at Jimin

When he wrote that letter to Jimin (enough said…)

When he was dancing along to Boombayah but accidentally banged his elbow into Baekhyun 

When he excitedly danced along the sidelines with Baekhyun and Kookie to Rain’s performance of Rainism 

When Namjoon asked Tae to say thank you and I love you in English to ARMY but he instead said, “You are my everything” while intensely staring into the camera *me die* (7:09)

When he tried to say he wants to be a saxophonist but instead said ‘sexy porn star’ and then got really embarrassed. And then when he was asked to say it again he said, “woodwind instrument” instead

When he rammed his ass into Yoongi’s face while he was blindfolded (5:45)

When Tae was begging to Jimin for food like a puppy during that treasure hunt run episode (0:20)

When Tae casually says ‘thank you’ to the zombies in the haunted house while the rest were screaming their asses off

When Tae was panting like a puppy when Hoseok grabbed Tae’s long choker like it was a leash 

Tae and Kookie’s bro handshake/dance (which is hella extra)

When he said if he could have any name it was Jack (from Titanic) “Jake, come back!” (3:30)

Tae kissing the camera 

When he was so excited and fangirling over that little girl from a fan meet

When he was rocking the bandana and red hair while acting HELLA rude with a fan (mhmm you know what I’m talking about)

When he accidentally stumbles and hides his face in embarrassment

When he falls over and lands on his face while riding the hoverboard (poor baby)

When he was enjoying the fried chicken so much that he almost fell off his chair (5:19)

His red hair look in general… 

When he makes an elephant using his two moles on his arms

When he sticks his tongue out and bites his lips VERY SEXUALLY… (self-explanatory)

When Tae dances to “I Need U” in heels flawlessly (1:21) 

When he was acting cheeky by putting on and taking off the hat to get a reaction from the fans (2:33)

Tae belly dancing in Dubai (3:00)

Tae’s perfume dance to ‘Pick me’

When BTS attended Music Bank and Tae was being his usual extra self (with his fur coat and chicken dance) (1:50)

Tae’s sweet fan service to fanboys (2:17)

When he repeatedly imitates Namjoon from Dope mv

When he was whining like an adorable baby during a photo shoot and saying “me too me too me too me too” because he wanted to finish his photoshoot too and join Kookie in the pool (0:30)

Tae’s “Not. Not…No!” on Ellen (3:50)

When Tae, while acting all shy, humble and adorable, admitted in the Buzzfeed interview that in public people stare at him in awe because of how handsome he is (all those people is me) (4:40)

When Tae and Jimin were playing with the car window and making meme faces at the camera (9:02)

When Tae was rapping Cypher pt.4 at a fan meet and continued mouthing to himself even when Hoseok took the mic away from him (6:45)

When he was trying to discreetly walk past while Namjoon was being interviewed but accidentally stumbled on light cords and knocked objects over (0:26)

When he dramatically fell over while ice skating in a run episode

When Tae and Yoongi (the Hawaiian couple) get paired together MULTIPLE TIMES. 

When Taegi is always holding hands 

When in the haunted house episode, Tae cheated by using the video camera in the darkroom to see better (when the room is supposed to remain dark) 

When Taehyung and Yoongi were dabbing and dancing hardcore to New Face by PSY during the karaoke game 

When Jungkook was grilling meat without gloves and Tae was very concerned because he didn’t want Kookie to get hurt 

Tae sneezing 

Tae rapping to his favourite part in Cypher part 3 (which was Yoongi’s part) 

When Tae and Hoseok shared food with the staff members by feeding them (so kind-hearted and generous)

When Tae appreciated Yoongi for his hard work by cooking food for themselves and for Yoongi trying hard while singing and dancing to New Face by PSY on the karaoke machine 

Fancam of Tae from that mic drop performance….that body roll… No further comment 

When Tae looked smitten over Kookie 

Some Taekook moments hehehe 

When Tae was excited when the host of TheMorningMess was a fan of Daniel Ceasar as well

Tae’s hands *choking*

Photographer Tae

Tae’s ‘chocolate cheeks and chocolate wings’ *choking and combusting* 

His heart of gold 

When he repeatedly said “Our fans ARMY, you made all of this possible” in English 

When he was looking fine as hell in that bandana during their DNA performance at the AMAs 

Tae eating a huge a slice of cake in one go 

When he was imitating D.Va, an overwatch character, by cutely squatting and pretending to drive 

When the boys exposed Tae’s noisy gaming habits during an interview and Tae imitates himself “I’m fighting, I’m fighting” 

After finding out the interviewer enjoys game, Tae said he will give him his ID after filming 

Taehyung in No More Dreams dance break in Nanjing (Caution: I shall not be held responsible for the triggering deaths caused by this video) 

Tae acting all goofy and extra on the runway during their impromptu fashion show in a Run episode

When he didn’t flinch AT ALL during James Corden’s Flinch game 

When he got all shy in front of the camera while Yoongi received his award

When Tae choked on his water and laughed so hard when his and Seokjin’s song was shown as a nomination for best ost 

His love and appreciation for Jin 

Tae’s collarbones *choking* 

Tae’s vlives when he is the most relatable and cutest lil bun 

Tae continuously sipping on some mysterious substance in a cup during the Ellen show (like what the hell was in that cup?) 

Tae growling during the DNA performance on Ellen *choking* 

The hip thrust move from blood sweat and tears *combusting this time* 

Kookie attacking Tae with a lightsaber while Tae kicks him back 

Most importantly, he is the sweetest precious lil bun ever who deserves to be showered with all the love in the world! 

WE PURPLE YOU, KIM TAEHYUNG! 💜

[cutiecrates]

Cutie Reviews: Gacha Gacha crate June 19

Hello! Welcome to the next review x3 I meant to do this a couple of days ago, but I haven’t been feeling well. But I’m feeling better than I was and I really wanted to get this written before I started something else related to the box... more about that on the inside.

In the booklet this month we get a page on the early history of Gachapon/Capsule machines. There is also a page about a contest the box is doing, where you take a creative picture using your most favorite gacha from the box so far. You can win a full set of said gachapon if you win!

As soon as I saw this I had a really cute idea, so I’ve been wanting to get this done before I put that together. I’m not sure when the contest ends, for all I know it might already be done- but I just got this box like a week ago. But I still plan to at least make the picture because I thought it would be a lot of fun :3 it has to be posted elsewhere, but I’ll be posting it here too.

But for now let’s focus on this box and it’s contents!

Inflatable Neck Pillow

Our first item is this creative travel companion, based on various food items. Like a croissant, shrimp, an eggplant/cucumber (not actually sure...), a banana, sausage, and a decorative chocolate.

I got the banana, as you can see.  I think they all would have been cute, but if I had to choose I would have waned the chocolate.

I’m just glad I didn’t get the shrimp <3< I would have been too weirded out to use it... maybe.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

For travel or just around the house it’s nice to have a neck pillow once in a while. It’s very comfortable -surprisingly- but at the same time, it’s a bit strange. Like, it feels nice but at the same time the material feels odd and sticky. I don’t think that would bother everyone though.

It could also be used as an inflatable Frisbee if you don’t care for the neck pillow idea. Or maybe a fun toy for the pool or bath because it should float on the water without much applied pressure.

Doggo Desk Buddies

I was very excited to finally get one of these; these types of practical Gacha where the character or animal works as various useful desk ornaments. I love them!

This specific series features 6 ceramic puppies, each one a different species with their own function, including: a paper clip holder, a pen stand, a stamp holder, masking tape hanger, a post-it note stand, and a message holder. 

As you can see I got the adorable post-it stand pug. It also comes with a kawaii little set of pink sticky notes. The puppy is put into bubble wrap to ensure it won’t get broken, which is a detail I really like. The post-its were in their own, separate tiny zip-lock bag.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

First of all, I really like the care put into this set. I’m guessing that if the capsule was jarred too much the puppy could risk breaking or damaging the sticky notes, or opposite. It’s really nice to see this type of consideration.

Meanwhile, as I already gushed, I love the concept as a whole when it comes to these. I would have been happy with any of them. I do find the tiny size of the sticky notes to be a bit of a let-down, but they can still be used for a lot of things, like bookmarking pages or “last-second emergency tape”. I also noticed that mostly the entire sheet seems to be sticky, but they still easily peel off the pad. Plus you could swap them out with other, smallish sets of sticky notes too.

Fish Game

I grew up with this game, and I’m sure a lot of you will recognize it too :3 in fact I still have mine. But if you’ve never seen it before, this toy is based on the electronic game that includes multiple people trying to catch the moving fish using their fishing rods.

It’s available in Purple, Blue, Pink, Green, and Yellow. It requires very minor assembly, you basically just connect the piece included with it that works as the “brain“ of the game. You then put the fishies into the slots and you can set the rod on the stand when not in use. 

Rating: ♥

I fell in love with the adorable miniaturization of a beloved childhood game- I’ve really liked these game gachapon we keep getting as of late, I hope we get more~

I’m also delighted I got pink! It’s my favorite shade and everything!

But in saying that... my game is either wonky, or everyone’s is like this. For some reason I can’t get it to work, it barely wants to move/spin around like it’s supposed to. I also noticed one of my fish has 2 magnets in it’s mouth while the others only have 1, but that has nothing to do with it. It’s pretty disappointing.

  Pikachu/Eevee Trainer

I think these might be “balancer“ gacha, due to the various poses they’re in. In a set of 6, we can get 1 of 2 Pikachu or 3 Eevee, all dressed up and ready to join up with their Trainer for an adventure! This series is by Takara Tomy Arts.

This one looks exactly like my Eevee from the game, so I was very happy :3 but mine is a girl, while this one is oddly a boy. I mean that isn’t to say guys can’t like flowers too, it’s kind of cute how the boyish looking Eevee in the set is a girl. Both Pikachu are boys.

Now, by this point I was beginning to have difficulties trying to get pictures. As soon as I would snap one, this happened:

Fluffy really wanted to play with them, he kept trying to carry off the puppy!

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

I think these are very cute, especially if you played one of the Let’s Go games x3 Getting the flower Eevee was perfect for me, since I usually used them and the bow accessories on mine. 

I wonder if the people who make this box saw the screenshot I uploaded of my Eevee months back...

Game-Box Mini Genesis

We’ve already established that I play video games, so this gacha especially caught my attention! This tiny, adorable glittery device (that Fluffy also went after) has 26 games in it! Ranging but not limited to shooting, driving, block destruction, puzzles, and image adjusting games.

Besides red, it also came in purple, black, white, green, and orange.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

Definitely one of my favorites from this box, I love it~ It works perfectly, it has sound, of course the images are all made from pixels due to the retro nature of the device, but it’s really fun. The only problem is that as you can see from the instruction page included with it, and the game itself... it can be really hard to understand and use if you don’t understand the writing system.

But it’s not hard to turn it on and start playing, even if you don’t know what’s going on like me :P

Retro Gachapon Machine

This is kind of a spoiler but not really, because I will be covering this in a separate post! Only because like our previous Gachapon machine capsule, it has to be assembled and I thought I could get a handful of pictures from it. It’ll also serve as a comparison piece between the two gachapon machines I have.

♥ Cutie Ranking ♥

Total Rank: 8 out of 10 cuties. As usual there isn’t really a theme behind these so I can’t really point it for that. I liked every capsule we got, and almost every single one features a form of practicality or use. I was especially surprised by the size of the inflatable neck pillow, it’s the biggest thing we got yet!

I’m pretty much only removing points from this one because of the possibly broken fish game. I don’t know what it’s problem is. I also think I might have liked last months a bit better than this one...

♥ Cutie Scale ♥

1. Dog Desk Buddies - Being a ceramic figure, it’s obvious the detail would be there. What I like about these is that if I really didn’t want to use it for a desk item, it would be a cute figurine to put on a shelf.

2. Pokemon  - Mine would have been spot-on if it was a girl eevee, but I love him regardless of gender. The detail is very well done and they all have flawless paint jobs.

3. Gachapon Machine - What’s cuter than adorable Gacha than a put-together model of the machine? It’s perfect for re-ment. 

4. Mini Genesis - I love sparkly translucent things~

5. Fish Game - Even though it behaves weird, I think the fishies are still really cute looking. They have different expressions, which is a cute little detail.

6. Neck Pillow - It’s cute in a really silly kind of way. Realistic-looking food goods always look kind of silly though, don’t they?

Okay, so that will be doing it for this review :3 I plan to be focusing on my “possible entry” for the boxes contest, then I’ll be doing my review/put together of the retro gachapon machine. Then we can finally begin the January boxes!

Until next time~

[bts-love-sweat-tears]

Ice Princess

Title: Ice Princess

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Rating: PG

Type: Fluff (the only thing I know how to write, apparently)

Inspiration: Tae’s love of Gucci, his frugal & filial ideal type, my summer finance course (lol, I’m not on the MC’s level at all), Strong Woman Do Bong Soon (specifically Park Hyung-Sik’s young CEO character).  This one took me a little while and was harder to write than the first two I did. As always, please let me know any  constructive writing feedback you have <3 

You sighed and stretched out in your California king bed, and rolled over to check the time on your phone. 4:45AM. Why was it that you could rarely sleep through the night? Knowing that it was all the rest that you would be getting for the night, you padded over to your desk, flipped open the computer, and started reading through financial reports. Not the most glamorous way to be spending the wee hours of the morning, but it was one that had led your family’s business to unprecedented success. You had taken a small mom-and-pop operation, and turned it into a national chain, and then an international conglomerate based on investments and acquisitions. Luckily you had your parents and older brothers to be the public faces of the operation, with only those on the Board of Directors knowing that you were the brains behind the company’s continued success. It wasn’t that you had set out with this secrecy, but it had sort of evolved after realizing how difficult it was to “wheel and deal” at the highest levels of this patriarchal society.

On the other hand though, you were still in your early twenties, and longed for someone to communicate with. Your non-stop work managing the company was your passion, but it had come at the expense of friends and romantic relationships. While you knew that you had chosen your priorities, you still hoped that you could “have it all.” Part of the main challenge was that you had two different personas- your in-office, immaculate professional, and then the person you were outside of work. You dressed simply and casually. Though your family’s net worth was in the nine digits, on your rare days off you wore white tees, gray hoodies, and black jeans. it was a standard, simple uniform, but it was comfortable, and more importantly, cheap. You hadn’t gotten the family business to thrive by wasting money on fashion or other frivolities. The paparazzi had quickly become bored of your austerity, and had moved on to the scions of other chaebols, whose lives provided much more interesting fodder for the tabloids.

After reviewing spreadsheets and flipping through the top articles of the day, you glanced at your Google calendar, and froze. Out of all the things you remembered to do  day in and out, you couldn’t believe that you forgot that today was your mother’s 50th birthday. You had remembered that your father had been planning some sort of intimate family dinner at one of the most exclusive restaurants in town, which of course had been a source of contention between the two of you, since you hadn’t wanted to randomly spend the money, but now it all made sense. More importantly though, you realized that you had no gift, and the rest of your afternoon was booked with conference calls and meetings, so it was now or never. You sighed and went to your closet. Even though you preferred comfort and utility, you also knew that where you were going, you would need to look good to get the best/quickest service. Time to go to “the Rodeo.”

An hour and a half later, you found yourself outside the Gucci store in Cheongdam-dong, a place you had never had any particular interest in visiting. However, your mom had been eyeing a pair of pink leather loafers that had been all the rage with the other ajummas in her circle, but you knew that she would never actually buy them for herself. Your mother had grown up poor, and she still couldn’t quite trust the sustained good fortune that your family had had. While you didn’t like spending money wastefully or on yourself, your mother was the one person who you would never hesitate to spend money on, particularly since she also would never spend it on herself.  

You approached the door, noticing a crowd congregating outside of the store, snapping pictures and talking animatedly among themselves. You didn’t give them a second glance though, knowing you were on a tight timeframe. You opened the door, and were met by a cool blast of air conditioning, followed almost immediately by the smiles and greetings of shop attendants. When you told them what you were looking for, they led you to the well-lit back wall that highlighted all of their shoes, and explained the different options. After it was clear that you were alternating indecisively between the unlined and fur-lined pair, the shop assistants started to drift away to seemingly more lucrative clients.

As you were debating, you noticed a tall, golden-complexioned boy (man?) out of the corner of your eye. He clearly thought that he was all that, since he was wearing sunglasses-inside, at nine in the morning, no less- and had a face-mask on. You rolled your eyes. This was exactly why you avoided stores like this. He was looking at the men’s slippers. When he caught you eyeing him up, he lowered his mask, and smiled the squarest smile you had ever seen. How did his lips even bend in that way? Caught off guard, you kept staring, which only made his smile more boxy. His face was unbelievably symmetrical.

“Like what you see?”

“Not particularly.” You sighed. “ I was just wondering what kind of weirdo wears sunglasses inside.”

He looked like a hurt puppy at the word “weirdo,” and the image you had of a self-assured player shattered. He must be your age or younger.

“I’m not weird!!!” he whined. “ I have to be….cautious.”

“Yes, yes. I’m sure you have your reasons.” You sighed, not particularly interested in furthering the conversation, already thinking back to your mom’s slippers.

The boy wasn’t giving up though. He moved closer, and spoke again, this time whispering.

“You seriously don’t recognize me?” His eyes were sparkling with some emotion you couldn’t read. Surprise? Suppressed laughter? Derision?

You ignored him, and when he saw what you were looking at, he said, “Go with the fur-lined ones. My hyung got me a pair, and they’re my favorite!”

You decided that you had better things to do, and stood up, unconsciously taking his advice and grabbing the fur-lined ones.

He laughed, eyes still sparkling, and followed you to the register. “You called me weird, but you’re possibly the only person in South Korea who doesn’t know who I am.”

“Sorry, but I don’t have a lot of free time.  In fact, I have a meeting to get to,” you snapped, handing the black credit card to the cashier. His eyes followed your hands, and the card, and you thought that might finally shut him up.  

As you were walking out of the store, he ran out after you,  multiple bags in hand and boxy smile still plastered to his face. “My job takes up a lot of my time, but I still have time to watch TV and stay up to date on who’s who!”

Before you could even think of what to reply, he was whisked away by some kind handler, and the crowd that had been there when you arrived had only multiplied. As you got into your own waiting car, you heard squeals of “Taehyung-oppa!!” and “V-oppa!” While you were sure that you had heard of that name somewhere and now had deduced from the crowd that he was some kind of celebrity, you couldn’t place him. Clearly whatever “cautions” he had taken were ineffective.  Soon you were whisked away to meetings, and any thoughts of him left your mind.

The clinking of glasses and silverware, the dim lighting, and the classical music were all par for the course at the fanciest French restaurant in the city, but for some reason, the night still felt especially enchanting to you. Maybe because you were all together as a family, celebrating the woman who was the bedrock of your family. You were all relatively close, but as the family business grew bigger, it seemed like you had less time together. You should all really just sell the company, and relax on a yacht somewhere in the Mediterranean, but it wasn’t in line with your family’s working class values. You felt strangely happy (maybe it was the wine), which was rare for the family’s “ice princess.” Some disgruntled investor had called you that once, and the nickname had somehow stuck. Though your family now said it with endearment, you didn’t always love it.

Tonight, though, that part of your personality had melted away.  Feeling warm, you excused yourself from the table to go to the bathroom and splash some water on your face. Your cheeks were a little pink when you saw your reflection in the bathroom, but nonetheless you thought you looked glamorous in your little black dress and pearls. You felt like Audrey Hepburn in one of those old classic movies you would sometimes watch with your siblings. Realizing that you were probably approaching the end of the socially acceptable time limit to be gone from the dinner table, you opened the bathroom door, and rushed around the corner. And directly into someone’s broad back.

You bowed slightly to apologize, and when you looked up you saw the same infuriating boxy smile from that morning. Except this time, instead of sunglasses, he was wearing prescription frames that allowed you to stare directly into his dark brown eyes.  He was also wearing a perfectly fitted tux, which you were trying very hard to ignore. He had clearly recognized you right away.

“Hey! I know you! The girl from this morning! Did you plan this?” he beamed.

“Wow, the weird guy from this morning. And definitely not. I’m here with my family.” you replied curtly. But you thought back to this morning and again felt bad for calling him weird.

“I want to meet them! I bet they’re really cute and traditional-who shelters their grown daughter so much that she has never heard of BTS?”

You roll your eyes at that. Well that answered THAT question. “I’m not sheltered-just busy with my career. Forgive me, oh great Taehyung-oppa.” You had meant it as a joke, based on what you had heard people shouting earlier, but your voice came out breathier and higher than you meant it to. You were blaming it on the wine.

He froze for a minute, eyes wide, but suddenly laughed a wheezy laugh, which was cut by the arrival of your mother.

“Ahh there you are! I was just coming to check if you were okay! I thought you may have fallen in,” she chuckled, her whole face smiling. Her expression changed to shock when she saw Taehyung, and you were concerned that she might have a heart attack.

“Aren’t you Kim Taehyung? You were in the drama 화랑 recently!” she said excitedly.

Kim Taehyung smiled sweetly, and nodded his head. Your mother continued, “Aish, I watched every episode! Though there were some very sad scenes,” she said, looking at him pointedly. “Wow, what good luck to run into a celebrity on my birthday!”

“Ahh, it’s your birthday?” Tae almost shouted. “생일 축하합니다!!” Why were you the calmest one in the hallway?  Your mom looked like she was on the verge of fainting.

“I know it might be strange of me to ask, but would you be willing to take a picture with me? I’m a huge fan.”

You were sure that he was going to say no, as idols were notorious for being image-conscious and intensely private. Just as you were about to get defensive on her behalf, he beamed that signature smile and said unexpected words.

“ I would be honored.” As you took out your phone to take the picture, he put one arm around your mom and and shot a heart toward the camera with the other. You blushed just looking at the screen. How strong was this wine?! This wasn’t your personality at all.  

After you snapped the photo, he quickly closed the space between you, and asked to see the picture. After approving it, he looked back to you. “I know it might be bold, since we just met, but since we keep bumping into each other, would you give me your phone number?”

Your mom covered her mouth with her hand and slowly backed away to give you two some space. You could only imagine the gossip she was probably spreading back at the family table. If he had asked for your number earlier in the Gucci store, you would have definitely said no, but seeing how kind he was to your mom, how could you not? You smiled and started to speak. You had a feeling that things were going to be changing, and maybe you could “lean in” and still “have it all.”

[bluezey]

So I saw In A Heartbeat

I know, I know.  “Why didn’t you see it sooner?” “It’s trending on YouTube!” “It’s all over Tumblr!” “It’s only four minutes long!”

Yes, I did plan to see this if and when I can.  And, it took me some time to realize that I can.  My recommendations of let’s plays and trivia videos were blocking the trending part of YouTube.  But, now that I finally saw In a Heartbeat, what did I think of it?

In short, this is so adorable!!

Now under the cut because of spoilers and, in this rare instance, will be using pictures of the short.

First, let me get the elephant out of the room and say that the first thing I thought when I saw the first frame was “oh my god this kid is Fear as a preteen boy and I love him already!!”

Yeah, if you know me, and I know I am, my type includes cute, skinny, nervous guys with unique, crazy hair.  Fear from Inside Out is the poster boy of my type, but this kid comes in at such a close second that he IS Fear as a preteen boy!  From frame one I fell in love with this kid and was stuck watching the short because of him.  Too bad the kid is gay, too young and taken.  So, make the love of your life the luckiest guy in the world, kid.

But don’t worry people who are crying “you’re loving it for the wrong reasons!” this is the end of my personal reasons for loving this short.  Let’s move onto the other two characters, the crush and the heart.  Now, the boy the Fear kid crushes on is suave and cute, and the heart

That’s Joy!!  That is Joy!!  This Fear kid has a heart made of Joy and I’m loving every minute of it!!

Yeah, as you can tell they took some easy read tropes to make the short an easy visual read, but that’s a forgiveable necessity since the film has no lines in it whatsoever.  Also, the short uses visual cues and the characters faces to show what they feel and what they’re thinking the rest of the time, so it’s more 90% readable and 10% trope.  Also, besides starting off as readable tropes, the characters are still downright adorable and relateable.

Now, the animation.  As you can tell from the stills, the animation is a mix of cartoon slapstick and partially realistic CGI.  Partial realism is a term I use for characters who have realistic features to them like realistic hair and realistic clothing and, to an extent, realistic skin, but they’re put on characters who look, act and move like they’re in a fluid, non realistic cartoon environment.  Even the background has these features as, for example, the trees are made of realistic leaves and bark, but are trimmed to look like they’re perfectly drawn in a crafted environment.  I think this works to tell the story to its audience:  the children.  The partial realism shows they’re telling a real life scenario that’s kind of difficult to tell these days, but they kind of sugar coat it with the cartooniness so it’s easy for kids to grasp and understand.

I also want to put in two tiny nods to the music and one point in the film.  First, the music is sweet, heartwarming, and upbeat at times.  I want to compare it to the soundtrack to Up for how charming it is.  The second is this brief second in the school:

Now, I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve seen, met and know people who make up excuses for why people are gay, up to and including “bullies call them gay so they think they’re gay” and “it’s just a popular fad.”  And up until this point you can tell that the two boys are in a private school, but you don’t see any girls in this private school yet.

While this is a neat idea, I was concerned that some confused/anti gay people will use this as an excuse to explain “well you put adolescent, going through puberty, sexually flowering boys in an all boys school, what choice do they have?”  The presence of this girl throws that excuse out the window, and has them face the fact that, even in a school of girls, this boy pined for this boy.

And, I’m not gonna lie, for the lack of a better word, this scene broke my heart:

I don’t want to explain why.  Mostly because this scene is the best well done scene in the short.  From the shadows, to the atmosphere, to the music, to the expressions on the boys’ faces, this scene is too good to put into words.  This is a scene that needs to be seen in order to feel its full impact.  So, yes, I am saying, see this short.

Now, if I had to nitpick, there are two moments I want to bring up.  But, it’s worth talking about as it brings up one of my favorite things about films:  the idea that one film could have multiple interpretations.

So, when I first watched In A Heartbeat, I loved the heart character, I really did.  I was really rooting for him to get the boy, even if he really was super focused on it.  And then these moments happened:

I couldn’t help but think aloud “this is getting a little creepy.”  Which, is one way to look at it.  Maybe because the boy is only watching the crush from a distance and in secret, this only made the heart pine for him as a form of infatuation, obsession or even puppy love.  Which leads me to another interpretation of it:  this could just be infatuation or puppy love.  But, that’s not a bad thing, considering these kids are preteens.  They’re just discovering love, they’re just finding who they love.  Having your first love be puppy love and not “the one” is not a bad thing, it’s just the first step into your love journey to your one, only and forever love.  And, who knows, maybe these two are the one, only and forever love, they’re just still smitten with each other because they’re still so young.  But, the only one that could be considered a negative interpretation is if this love is obsession.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying obsession is bad.  I’m saying those who are confused about the notion of same sex love or even against it may use this interpretation to twist the original message of the film, which is simply two boys finding love.  Am I saying some assholes will use this lovely, innocent message for horrible means?  Sadly, yes.  But, to be fair, it won’t be the first time I’ve seen an innocent message used for horrible means.  But, that’s the double edged sword for finding multiple messages in a film:  sometimes you look too deep and find a negative way to use a positive message.  Let’s just hope that, for once, we’re all mature with this children’s short.

Which leads me to the final comment on this message, where is this going?  What is the future for In A Heartbeat?  I’m not going to say that it’s going to begin positive same sex messages in children’s animation, because with such examples as Steven Universe and The Loud House, I think we’re already there.  But, who would have the balls to play this short before a children’s film?  With sheltering parents still against showing this subject to their children, I would be surprised and happy if this does get a theatrical release.  But, at the same time, wouldn’t be surprised if it didn’t.  So, it’s good and unsurprising that I first found it on YouTube, where people can choose to watch this rather than “have” to watch it.  But, it’s still not a bad place to be.  When I first thought about how it was a good choice to have the film be silent as it’s only four minutes long, it made me question will there be talking if this becomes a full fledged film.  And that’s when I thought, why not make this a full fledged film?  It has what we’re looking for, romantic comedy, likeable characters, even a progressive story where its two boys who find their happy ending.  The only downside is I don’t see this being a full fledged kids, film, but I’m not saying it should be “edgy” either.  I’m thinking if this does get made as a full fledged film, it would most likely be a G rated film that gets a PG rating just to fully warn the shelter parents of its “adult situations”.  Hell, maybe as a full fledged film, they can make another romantic comedy plot of another couple.  Like, maybe in this school we see a boy and a girl who are clearly best friends and clearly more, but one is scared to take the leap and become a couple because their secret is they’re trans, and they don’t want to be outed because they fear they’ll be bullied, or worse, kicked out of school.  Hell, let’s put “mild peril” in the PG rating and bring up the reality that bullying will be an issue.  Since the heart is making it so blatant, maybe the Fear kid is already being bullied just for being awkward before he’s even outed, making him even more terrified when he is outed.  And, since films, especially independent films, would take years to make, once In A Heartbeat as a film is made and ready for distribution, we may have had enough time in this fledgling age of same sex characters in children’s films that this may get released under a big studio banner.  Maybe not Pixar or Dreamworks, but maybe Blue Sky or Illumination.

So, yeah, while this isn’t going to be the number one favorite short film of mine, which is currently Piper, it is going to be in my top five between Boundin and Day and Night.  And while I would love to see it in theaters, I think it has a better chance on YouTube and becoming expanded into a animated “PG” preteen romantic comedy.  So, yeah, there’s something here, we all knew it.  This film just firmly cemented it.  And all I can say is, Fear kid, crush, Joy heart, I wish you all the love and the best.