#which i think is an interesting idea! because she’s always been so vocal about how she wants a love match for all of her children

[cerullos]

am i out of my mind or was this not a positive reaction lol

[kcwriter-blog]

Just recently I asked myself an important question. Why do I, a person not usually into angst, continue to romance Solas. It’s not like it’s going to end differently. My Lavellan will always get her heart broken. 

The simple answer? It’s worth it. There is a gentleness in how they treat each other that you don’t find in many real-life relationships much less in a video game. It’s soft, quiet, and tender. It’s what love looks like after years with someone you truly care about.

How can that be? Solas isn’t being honest with her. To Solas’ credit, he realizes that. He takes her to Crestwood to tell her the truth. When he realizes he can’t, he breaks it off. Which in and of itself is an act of love.

What he is honest about is his love for Lavellan. He never denies his feelings. A case in point is the aftermath of the first kiss. It would be so easy for Solas to say that he just got caught up in the moment. He doesn’t. He may say that it’s been a long time and that he thinks a relationship isn’t a good idea, but he never denies that he has feelings for her. Even when he breaks it off, he refuses to lie and say she was a casual dalliance or that he doesn’t love her. 

For her part, Lavellan never pushes Solas. When he asks for time to think, she grants it. “Take all the time you need.” She understands him. He has trust issues. Getting into a relationship with her would be a big step for him. She may not know what made him that way, but she cares enough to let him decide if a relationship is something he truly wants.  She is willing to wait.

This demonstrates a respect for each other and for their budding relationship. They are honest about their feelings. They are willing to take it slow. They talk about it like adults. They go into it knowing there will be risks.

An underrated aspect of the relationship is the conversations where Solas shares his recollections of things he saw in the Fade. Solas isn’t just randomly pulling stories out of his hat. He is telling Lavellan about the things he saw that meant the most to him. He is opening up to her, trusting that she won’t laugh at him or dismiss him. For her part, she actively listens. It’s a quiet kind of loving and, for me, one of the most intimate things you can do in a relationship.

The balcony scene is another place where this plays out. Solas wants to be with Lavellan. He has come up to the balcony to tell her that. He still has reservations. He wants her but he doesn’t want to hurt her. 

Lavellan knows he must be the one to make the choice. Instead of kissing him, she puts her hands behind her back. If he wants this, he will have to kiss her. He balks. She asks him not to go. Many people interpret this as begging. That’s not it. She is telling him, quietly, that if he leaves, she won’t wait any longer. “It would be kinder in the long run but losing you would…” He can’t. He loves her. He decides to take the risk. 

There is also a strong spiritual component to their relationship. Solas isn’t attracted by her physical beauty. He is all about the spirit. To him she is wonderful. Someone wise. Someone who thinks before she acts. He calls her beautiful in Crestwood, but I think he is talking about her soul, not what she looks like. 

There are many other small moments that give us clues as to what their relationship looks like post balcony scene. Solas attempts to comfort her at the Winter Palace by dancing or taking her in his arms. She reassures him that he can trust her. They hold hands in Crestwood. He calls her “my heart” and it’s clear she is precious to him. His voice when he speaks with her in Crestwood is intimate. It’s a vocal tenor we don’t hear anywhere else. He remonstrates with Sera when she jokes about his relationship with Lavellan. 

I find it interesting that even if Lavellan is angry, when Solas finds the broken orb she isn’t fist pumping because he didn’t get what he wanted. She treats him with kindness. 

He goes out of his way to tell her what they had was real – or that she was right to be angry. No matter what happened they acknowledge each other’s feelings. 

Everything paints a picture of an intensely private, intimate, loving relationship. That’s what I love about it and it’s why I keep coming back for more. 

[aurora-daily]

AURORA: "People Deserve Complicated Music"

AURORA's interview for Junkee by Ky Stewart (September 11th, 2024)

AURORA is a once-in-a-generation artist. Unrestrained by genre, her music always feels just outside our grasp. So, as might expect, our conversation was insightful, inquisitive, and filled with childlike wonder and joy.

I was scrolling through Tumblr the first time I heard an AURORA song. It was 2015, a year after she’d released her first album All My Demons Greeting Me as a Friend. The post was a clip from her music video for ‘Murder Song (5,4,3,2,1)’. It was dark and tender. I was captivated by how expressive she was. Just 18 years old, she already knew just the right spot to jab you and reach your soul.

So I jumped down the AURORA rabbit hole. I quickly fell in love with that album, discovering fan favourites like ‘Running With The Wolves’ and ‘Runaway’. She was truly a Tumblr darling and, as it turns out, had absolutely no idea that so many of us were posting her lyrics on random edgy backgrounds. “Oh my god, that's so sweet,” AURORA tells me. “I didn't know that. That's insane. I had no idea. That's really sweet, because I feel like the Tumblr community were always my kind of people. That's really nice. I'm gonna try to find some of those posts now.” (Unfortunately, most of Tumblr has been killed off but there’s still some dedicated AURORA fan pages kicking around on there. I hope she found them.)

A lot of us from Tumblr grew up with AURORA’s music. Her albums have been part of how I made sense of the world around me at various stages of my life. Her newest album What Happened To The Heart? is no different. At a time of incredible turbulence, I often find myself asking where our collective empathy has gone. Or if we ever had it in the first place. How can we watch other people suffering and do nothing about it? These questions are AURORA’s inspiration. “There's always quite a lot behind my albums and I think a lot about the world when I write,” AURORA says. “I try to think about what I feel is the purpose of my music, and what I feel the world deserves to hear. I felt it was time for a question, especially the question, what happened to the heart? I was thinking about it a lot, and I realised that I found this question to be very interesting and very important. I think I found the answer.” 

For AURORA, the answer lies in how society has been stripped of compassion. “I'm nervous about a lot of the problems in the world today [and] the general unfairness in how our resources are divided upon the people,” she says. “The general unfairness that some people are given a chance in this life and some people aren't, and how the world just lets that happen. We haven't figured out a way to lift each other up more because people like to be comfortable, which I understand. It's hard to give away our comfort. To try to lift up someone we haven't even met yet is a hard thing for humans to do.” 

She adds, “I think we can actually feel that something is a bit off with life on Earth. Because we are very disconnected and we have closed up on that spiritual side of being human. And it kind of worries me that I feel something is a bit hollow inside of us, and that's why I answer the question, what happened to the heart? Because something is a bit messed up with how we live now.”

What I’ve always appreciated about AURORA, beyond her ability to make ethereal music, is how politically vocal she is. AURORA’s music has always been rooted in people, in their stories, and in how they feel. She cares deeply about people’s pain and uses her music to fight back — or at the very least, help people feel heard. Recently, she dedicated her protest song ‘The Seed’ from her 2019 album A Different Kind Of Human (Step II) to “all the children of Palestine, Sudan, Congo, Yemen, and Syria”.

“There are so many people in the world now that listen more to people they look up to, rather than experts on the matters of the world,” AURORA says. “A lot of [these] people are idiots and they say so many strange things and lead people the wrong way, like Trump… It’s chaotic when famous people have opinions that people follow so blindly without taking the time to actually measure your words or find out where they come from. It really scares me. [But] if people look up to me, I'm going to do as much as I can to say things they deserve. I think music really helps me do that, because I don't have to be too blunt, I don't have to be too harsh, I don't have to speak about things in the world in the same way most people do. We like to gather people around a common enemy, or to divide people with fear and then rile them up. I think it's so cool to rile people up with something that is, in its roots, fuelled by love.”

In preparation for the interview, I watched AURORA’s old music videos — the ones she made before the world fell in love with her. The bio said “Aurora Aksnes is a 18-year-old girl from Bergen, Norway. She strives to write music that can inspire people, through idiosyncratic tales of struggle, love, and all that lies in between.” Ten years later and she’s still doing exactly that. To AURORA, music is a language we all speak so why wouldn’t you use it to try to help others? “I wanted [the album] to be a mirror,” she says. “To do a soft beginning, because the first song is very spiritual, and numb [where] you ignore the thing screaming inside of you to be seen. Then the album goes quite dark because we ignore our roots. It's in our nature to be caring and kind. We do so much for the people we love and it's so pure. So we know that we're capable of it. But when we ignore this nature, we grow bitter and sour and broken.”

What Happened To The Heart? is as enigmatic as AURORA is. The album opens with the delicate ‘Echo Of My Shadow’, then we slam into dance-pop songs like ‘Your Blood’ and ‘Do You Feel’ or the techno club offering ‘Starvation’. Songs to get your body moving and your heart pumping. But there’s also folk and soft-rock. No matter the genre, her voice pierces through you. This concoction of sounds makes perfect sense to AURORA. For her, the sound of a song is less important than its essence. “I don't really think much when I produce,” she says. “I just feel and I just do, because I don't really have any rules when I make the skin around the soul of my songs, as long as the soul of the song feels right, it can wear whatever clothes it wants. It will still be okay, which is a comforting thing, because it helps you to not be a perfectionist. That steals the joy of creating from yourself, which is easy to do in this world.”

AURORA’s eclectic sound makes sense when you consider her influences. “I grew up with a lot of Leonard Cohen, Joan Baez, and Bob Dylan,” she says. “Also grew up with Enya. She was my biggest inspiration when I started making music. I just realised the healing power of voices and how much I can do. ‘Runaway’, which is one of my biggest songs now, is just the voice. The whole song is just accompanied by my own voice, trying to become choirs around my leading vocals, so that's been a very important part of my production journey. I'm very into Cohen, his way of telling stories in music, which I've obviously been very inspired by, especially in the beginning with songs like ‘Little Boy In The Grass’ and ‘Murder Song’, which are very [big] storytelling songs. And Bob Dylan taught me that I could be political and say things about the world in a nice way or in a funny way or in a hard way, depending on what you want. So these people all taught me very important messages. [When] I grew up, I learned about heavy metal and the Chemical Brothers. I think my idea of a perfect song is a mix with the Chemical Brothers, weird sounds like Enya and a bit of metal and folk. That's kind of the essence of what I find beautiful.”

AURORA is deeply connected to the environment. She’s been a strong advocate for environmental rights in Norway and trying to help the global fight to stop the ever increasing impacts of climate change. All of this is evident when I ask if she’s excited to return to Australia for an upcoming tour. “Oh, honestly, I'm so excited,” she says. “I think Australia is one of my favourite places to tour. It's so beautiful. It has the adventurous, grandness, and largeness that I feel when I'm in America, but you're not like America at all. So it's large and adventurous, which is exciting when you're from Norway. But it's still so friendly, and I'm so in tune with a lot of the politics. I'm not so familiar with the current situation, but I like what you did with the gun laws and to prevent massive shootings. And the Indigenous peoples, I feel a lot of admiration for, and there’s a certain charge in the land in Australia that I cannot explain. It feels very spiritual there, and the nature feels like home. I know it's so different from home, that I feel so curious and excited, but it's still so like home that I feel safe and I understand what's going on. I don't know, I love Australia. I love being there. [The] people are so pretty as well. And the bugs. I love bugs. You have all the scary ones there, and it's so fun. I really am excited to be back. I hate that it's only like every second year. I wish I could come every year.”

It’s such a joy to experience an artist like AURORA. Her music is charged with so much life and energy. You find something new every time you listen to her songs. Something she’s tucked away in the corner for you to find. She makes music that forces you to stop and think about what’s being offered to you. And that’s exactly how she wants it. 

“I like making complicated albums because I have listeners who deserve complicated music,” AURORA says. “We're being served a lot of uncomplicated stuff, which can also be good, but if that's the only thing we get, I don't think it's good for our brains. People are very clever, and I think it's important to not underestimate them.” 

[mari-lair]

It's interesting that Akane in the recent chapter says "I keep saying this..but have you considered being a little more gentle when it comes to supernaturals?" when he's literally never said this before since he dislikes supernaturals. It could be bc he didn't want Tsukasa to be exorcised since they wouldn't have a reason to go back to the og timeline anymore. Idk, what do you think??

(chap 116 did nothing for me, so full disclaimer I am going to answer without rereading/being obsessed with every minute details of the chapter.)

I am pretty sure the reason Akane said "Hey, be more gentle" is because Teru isn't exorcising a ghost from thin air, he is going all out, with no restraint, while attacking Kou's body too.

Kou is knocked out and doesn't wake up after the supernatural stops possessing him.

The contrast of Kou twitching with electricity, lying on the ground in presumably pain, while Teru goes 'I am always gentle, though?' is even used as a joke.

Considering Akane's only experience with possession was Nene (which is a very different case but still his only experience with possession exorcism) where she immediately snapped back to her body with only a light cheek injury, Teru's approach looks very overkill.

Akane says "I keep saying this" as if this is a recurring problem and that Teru's behavior with supernaturals has bothered him for a while. This is probably referring to how teru treats people with supernatural affiliations, cause that's something Akane has been vocal about before, like the way Teru uses him as a stress relief or is careless about Nene's lifespan.

But if it is about supernaturals as a whole like Hanako, Mokkes, and such, it would be bad writing.

We know that it isn't true after all, so it would mean that either Aidairo is stepping on an established dynamic/character belief and plainly contradicting their own story(which is unlikely but not impossible) or they're trying to slowly build differences from old terukane to this new timeline dynamic, which would make it a very clunky and awkward delivery/pacing, considering how the start of the arc was fully focused on establishing how Teru, Akane, and Nene are their old timeline selves with their old timeline memories and no idea wtf is going on in this new timeline or how their lives/roles are supposed to be here

[skyeoak]

Tmagp 30 thoughts

Vocal performances all slayed. 10/10

I think there’s a lot of good and bad in the finale! But overall, it feels underbaked. (Or overplotted/overplanned?)

I’ll save my finalized thoughts on the hilltop center to see if it’s developed in further seasons, because uh, hmm. Jonny said in the live drop that carousels of horrors were his favorite to write, but they sure are not realllyyyy my favorite to listen to. They’re kind of thematic scattershot. And yeah, one of my critiques about TMA is that I don’t love how we only rarely see how the fears combine and interact. Having multiple creepy things in a curiosity cabinet -com shopping center doesn’t really solve that problem for me.

The idea of a character turning a blind eye to an obviously creepy job is still interesting, especially in how it parallels the staff of the OIAR. But that’s kinda the start and end of my interest in the custodian? It feels like this story could have been shrunk to 1/3 length and had a better effect. I just feel like this should have been a midseason statement, and the finale could have focused on having some sort of action or tension. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting the finale to have a statement at all, to be structurally in line with early TMA. Maybe a full statement/story from Celia, giving the non-TMA audience some idea of why she thinks there’s nothing to go back to in her universe. Hell. Maybe she could just. Tell Sam, uncompelled. I would have loved to see her try to convince him to jump. Convince him that her new life matters more than his (perceived) failure of one. Instead… this is another episode where I feel like the double meaning titles weigh down what the statement could be. And it’s the season finale.

I wondered early on if the finale for this season would feel more like setup for future seasons, and yep. Yep it did. It just felt like there was this inherent tension between the stakes of the story, which are already at interdimensional travel, and the level of danger it feels like everyone is in. Not to mention how Celia just drops a list of alchemical balance things out of the blue. Magnus Protocol is in a tricky situation: they need to set up a new conflict and new characters, and at the same time, Magpod has already done mega-apocalypse hellscapes and so TMagP might feel the need to go bigger. (Imo I don’t think sequels always need to raise the stakes but I understand that’s industry standard). It’s also tackling alchemy, a notoriously complex subject that’s probably hard to explain to an audience in any way that feels natural. You can’t just throw murder worm lady and screaming main character in the finale and call it a day. There’s a lot going on, less time, and I don’t know if the characterization this season was consistent (/consistently good) enough to hold the full weight of it all.

OKAY, WHELMED THOUGHTS OVER, now for the good! Surprise surprise, it’s all the little character payoffs!

Gwen and Lena’s confrontation was EVERYTHING. Gwen is kicking anthills, and Lena is so content to let her stand in them while the ants crawl up her legs. I won’t lie though, I’m not sure if this plotline will be interesting to me. I think it depends on how fast the OIAR staff can get Gwen to actually be on their side.

Sam deciding to protect Celia by pushing the archivist into the void is SENSATIONAL CHARACTER PAYOFF. (This is my interpretation of the scene, audio was super unclear once again, and there was a line change from transcript to podcast that made this super ambiguous in the actual canon audio.) My poor guy has ZERO self esteem, and still wants to be a hero. He probably realized that if what Celia just told him was true, an archivist could actually kill her on the spot. My guess is that (tma spoilers) this balanced the rift not because Celia replaced her own missing soul (plenty of folks got sent through hilltop road in that same incident) but because an archivist+a person were pulled through to replace Jon and Martin. Truly excited to see where they end up, and if this archivist gets developed more as a character next season. Also the implications of interdimensional balance on what happened at the end of TMA are… interesting.

Oh Alice. Everything in this intricately balanced house of checking up on people and soothing them and deflecting tension with jokes is about to come crashing down. I’m so sorry this is happening to you.

And yes, this is a super lukewarm episode review but I do wanna say I liked this season a lot, and TMAGP is still a cut above a LOT of horror I have read/listened to this year. I’m hoping seasons 2 and 3 will either steer further into a direct TMA sequel, angle OR steer clear and become their own thing. TMAGP is stuck uncomfortably in the middle right now. Just be the good parts of her. But completely new.

[cwritesforfun]

Eddie Roundtree x Fem!Reader: Introverts & Parties Don't Mix Well

You're in the band and while you are close to all of them, you and Eddie tend to gravitate to each other.

Y/N = Your First Name & L/N = Your Last Name

Narrator = Julia Dunne (but Narrator for sake of the story)

** I do not own the DJATS characters or plot ** **** The timeline is going to seem weird lol but I'm just writing what I want to write lol ****

Masterlist

Y/N's POV

Narrator: This is just going to be your introduction. So could you tell us who you are and how you got into Daisy Jones & The Six? Y/N: Hi everyone I am Y/N L/N! I have always loved listening to music and creating music. When I was younger, I started with piano and guitar. Then in middle school, I learned flute and piccolo because I wanted to be in a concert band. I joined a band with friends outside of school in early high school and we played some small gigs in town. After high school, I moved to Los Angeles and met Karen within my first week. Her band needed an extra musician and I filled the spot. I followed Karen wherever she went, and she did the same with me. If one of us left a band then so did the other. We only joined a band if we both could. I learned sound engineering and technology to do anything a band could need. Karen took up something else. I'm feeling really tired at the moment, so I honestly can't remember. You’ll have to ask her. The Dunne Brothers played after us at this bar. We met the boys there. I wasn’t interested in being social and I left, but they liked Karen. So, we changed bands. Narrator: Were you angry that you had to leave? Y/N: No. The band we were with never liked our ideas or respected us anyway. They also wanted Karen & I to dress a certain way that we didn't want to. Karen: I just wanted to make music and I wanted to do it with Y/N. She is and was my best friend. Narrator: Did either of you ever think about splitting ways? Karen: Never. Y/N: Never. Narrator: Wow, and would you say you're both still best friends? Karen: Yes. Y/N: Yes. Narrator: We already talked about Karen joining. What about Y/N? How did you feel about her joining? Billy: We needed a keyboard player, which was Karen. Her only condition on which she would accept our offer to join the band was to let Y/N join as well. The rest of the band liked Karen and thought that it was worth it to bring in Y/N too. I'm glad we did. Y/N is and was such a kind soul. She was also very kind to Camila and you growing up, so yeah I was a fan. Warren: Y/N, yeah I found her hot. We saw her play and she rocked hardcore. She also had a cool voice, so I was on board. As soon as I saw how Eddie looked at her, I knew he was a goner. That man was lost in the world of Y/N even before we met her. Daisy: I liked her a lot. Her vocal range was amazing and I could listen to her for hours. Y/N was always kind to me. I consider her to this day one of my close friends. Graham: Y/N was cool. To be honest, I was more focused on Karen at the time, so I was all for letting Y/N join. We don't keep in touch as much as I would have liked because of well Karen. Eddie: She could sing, she knew how to work any sound technology, she could play so many instruments, and she was single. Yeah, I was interested in her as soon as we were told she could join.

Narrator: How were the early days for you? The boys talked a lot about the parties. Did you like the groupies and parties? Y/N: God, I hated the parties at first. Introverts and Parties, they don't mix well. I realized that part of being in a band is doing things they like and interacting with them in social spaces. Even if I preferred being alone in my room, I wanted to be close to the band. And, if I hadn’t been pulled out of my comfort zone at those parties, I never would’ve fallen for Eddie. Narrator: Were you always closest with Eddie? Other than Karen, that is. Y/N: Yes, I was. Graham mainly hung out with Karen and he only talked to me if it would make him look good for Karen. Obviously, I was still close to Karen. Daisy was not always in the right headspace, which made me too worried to hang out with her because I wanted her to be safe. Billy was too serious at work but he was cool at parties. Camila was kind and I would talk to her at a lot of parties. Warren was so outgoing that I was anxious being around him at parties because he would try to get me to take more shots or take drugs. He was cool during recording sessions and for work though. And as for Eddie, I knew he was talented and Billy didn’t see his full potential. I also knew that some of Eddie’s ideas were good ones if we just went through with them. He was also a really inspiring songwriter and had a sweet voice. He'd probably hate that I called it sweet, but it always felt like home to me. Eddie: Y/N was always supportive of me and my ideas. She would listen to demos of songs that I’d written and we’d write together. She was a great lyricist on top of everything else she was amazing at. She was perfect to me. Y/N: Before we started dating, Eddie and I would spend a lot of time together. Warren always joked that Eddie and I should just cut the sexual tension by having sex. He also kept telling us that we should date because we clearly both liked each other. We were both coming to terms with seriously liking each other, so we would then just make fun of Warren for getting drunk and we wouldn’t talk about it. We just agreed to move on. Well not until this one party…

Skip to the party ~

You hang with Billy, Camila, and Daisy drinking before you decide to head outside to see if it’s quieter and calmer. Billy and Daisy are tolerating each other, so you feel good leaving them with Camila.

You notice no one sitting at the table by the fire pit so you grab a new drink and sit down. A guy you’ve seen at parties before starts talking to you and sits in the chair next to you. You decide to be polite so you keep talking to him.

You feel arms wrap around your neck and can tell it’s Eddie. You know his cologne and you know his hugs. He leans down, kisses your cheek, and exclaims, “I was wondering where you were, babe. Who’s your new friend?” The guy looks between you two, gets up, and runs away. It makes you and Eddie laugh. Eddie takes the guy’s seat and says, “I saw you out here and you looked bored. I wanted to save you from that guy.” You reply, “He was being polite and he never even talked about sex. It was nice actually. But, I just wanted to be alone to drink by the fire. It was getting way too much inside the house with all those people.” Eddie replies, “Yeah, tonight's energy is not the best. And, I did get myself into a bit of a sticky situation. I need your help.” You ask, “Sure, what’s up?” He answers, “I need you to go inside with me and pretend to be my girlfriend. Some of the groupies and Warren are annoying me. I want them to leave me alone and I'll even sneak somewhere quiet with you after.” You ask, “Why me?” He answers, “Everyone thinks we’re already dating. I thought it would be the easiest option... and well they asked if you were the girlfriend and I said yes.” You nod. So it’s just out of convenience and he agreed to a lie that you wish was true. You say, “Sure boyfriend. What do I need to know before we go in?” He tells you the plan as you walk in. You know Eddie and he loves physical touch. So you give him permission to be touchy as if you were actually dating and he gets a little flustered at the idea.

Eddie’s hand finds yours as you walk. He twirls you around and you dance together. Your hands go around his neck and his go on your waist. You ask, "Ready?" He looks confused and asks, "For what?" You answer, "A kiss, babe." You then pull him closer and you kiss. You wish you could say it was a horrible kiss, but the truth is, it was the best kiss you had up to that point in your life. You felt the fireworks everyone talked about. Eddie pulls away, puts his forehead to yours, and says, "Holy wow that was a kiss... I think I need something cold." You laugh and pull him toward the fridge. You hand him a cold beer that you open by kicking it with your foot. Eddie's jaw drops and he says, "Wtf, I didn't know you could do that." You press a kiss to his lips and say, "That's good, babe. It keeps the relationship more interesting." Eddie replies, "It really does."

You hear, "Well well well... if it isn't traitors." You see Warren with hands on his hips and girls hanging all over him. You ask, "Why are we traitors?" Warren answers, "You two have been fu**ing and dating without telling me. I've wanted you two to date since you two met. I thought you two would tell me first. Eddie was in love from the first time he saw you, Y/N." Great news great news... ok self act like this is old news... You wrap an arm around Eddie and say, "I know. It's so cute how he fell for me on day one. And Warren, we've been keeping it a secret. We didn't anyone to know just yet." Eddie's arm finds your waist and he adds, "We were waiting for the right time. We didn't want to steal anyone's thunder." One of the girls asks, "You two are hot. Are you looking for a third?" You smirk and answer, "We don't like sharing." Warren lets out a laugh and says, "Staking your claim on your man, wow. Eddie, do you feel the same? You've done an orgy or two." Eddie smirks and replies, "Hearing the woman you love moan your name during an orgasm is more satisfying than being with multiple people." You feel your cheeks blush and you move a little because it is feeling a little hot in here. Warren says, "I'll leave you two to it then." He walks away with the girls.

(( PLAY THIS NOW for the full experience ))

Before you and Eddie can talk, the power goes out. You all start passing out candles and flashlights. Karen finds you, pulls you into a hug, and leads you to the piano. She starts playing and you start singing. Daisy joins you and you both twirl each other around. Eddie starts playing and his eyes meet yours. They never leave you as you sing. Daisy starts singing with Billy and you join Karen on the piano bench. Karen lets you play with her. Everyone is singing and it's magical. It feels so nice being here with friends doing what you love.

People start leaving after that and you go to your bedroom to wait for everyone to clear out. You also are trying to avoid Eddie because tonight did crazy things for your heart. You knew how much you cared about Eddie, but tonight made you fall deeper for him. It's going to be hard to keep going with hiding your feelings. Maybe you should tell him? If he says he sees you as a friend, then well... you could just quit the band. Karen should stay though. She fits in well.

You leave your room and Eddie is standing there staring at you. He exclaims, "Hey uh I need to talk to you." You reply, "Funny, I need to talk to you too." He replies, "Oh good... Can I come in?" You nod and he walks in. You ask, "So, what do you need to talk about? Does it uh... does it have to do with our little act tonight?" He answers, "Yeah it does... great job by the way. I think it really worked. You're a great actress." Actress... yeah you were acting. Your shoulders deflate and you sigh. So he must not feel the same. He asks, "What's wrong? You seem upset." You answer, "Because Eddie Roundtree, I like you. And tonight's little act wasn't acting for me! I like you a lot and I want to date you if you would like to go on a date with me." His jaw drops and he exclaims, "I really like you too. Ever since I saw you sing for the first time, I knew you were it for me." You ask, "So then kiss me like you mean it?" He smirks, pushes you onto the bed, and kisses you deeply.

Your door creaks open and Eddie stays on top of you. Warren jumps and says, "Oh sh**! I thought you two were kidding when you said you were dating. I'm backing out of this room slowly or I could stay and watch. This is kind of hot." On sync, Eddie and I scream, "LEAVE!" Warren backs out of the room and Eddie collapses next to you with laughter. He says, "You smell really good. Can I stay in your bed tonight? I want to smell like you." You answer, "You can stay here, but won't you be uncomfortable sleeping in jeans?" He smirks, "Babe if you wanted to see me naked, you could just say it." You cover your face with your hands as you blush while saying, "I just want you to be comfy. I'm going to put on different clothes. I'm not sleeping in this dress." He replies, "Well babe, you looked really hot tonight. I don't know if this dress was to get my attention, but it worked. I want you to wear this on our first date." You smile and say, "I can't wait for our first date. And, I did wear this dress for you." He smiles and you kiss again.

You change into your pajamas and Eddie asks, "Is it okay to sleep in my boxers?" You answer, "Sure." He lays down in my bed and replies, "Your room is quieter than my room. Wtf! Is this how you sleep every night? I laugh and say, "Yeah. It's because I'm next door to Karen who we all know is too down bad over Graham to properly hook up with someone so it's quiet. I also don't share a wall with Warren or Billy who are little sex demons." He laughs and replies, "You're so lucky. Don't be surprised if I start sleeping in here." You laugh and reply, "I don't mind. You can take your afternoon naps here if you want as well. I usually am on my runs or reading outside at those times." He replies, "You're making me feel so spoiled." You laugh and ask, "But you have to do one thing for me, do you promise?" He asks, "What? I'd do anything for you." You answer, "I kind of wrote this song about you and I want you to listen to it. You're always really good at helping me improve my lyrics and you give me such helpful critiques. I want to eventually release this song even if not with the band. I just really like it." He smiles and replies, "A song about me? And why would you release without the band? Oh wait Billy would probably not want it because he's not the star. True." You reply, "I don't think any one of us is the star of the band. We all have star potential and star qualities. Billy is talented, but he needs to learn to compromise. The song about you is about my crush on you."

Narrator: How was the song? Eddie: It was so cute. Y/N is an amazing singer and her lyrics had me blushing so much. Her little smile as she stared at me while singing was melting my heart. I told her to change one line because I think another word fits instead of what she wrote, but it was perfect. Teddy actually helped Y/N produce and release it, which we all supported. Y/N was staying in the band, so no one minded. Y/N: Eddie was so cute when I played it. Teddy also really liked it and said it would be a summer hit. Sure enough, it was. Narrator: How was the rest of the tour? Y/N: Insane wow! I opened our summer shows to play my single with Eddie as my lead guitarist, which was fun. We'd then run off and run back on with the rest of the band. Everyone loved my song including the rest of the band. Eddie and I had fun at every show. We spent some nights drinking out with the rest of the band. Some days I wanted to have a chill night and Eddie wanted to be wherever I was, so we would spend some time with Billy in his bus. Billy and Eddie would act civil in front of me. It was nice. We had fun... until it wasn't fun anymore. The tour ended. The band broke up. Most people wouldn't talk to each other. Narrator: What about you and Eddie? Y/N: I got my stuff from Karen's place and moved in with Eddie. We shared rent, and cooking responsibilities, and just enjoyed being together. He became a music producer and helped me produce music. I've played some small venues and started creating a fan base. It's really cool to do what you love with someone you love. Eddie: Don't tell Y/N, but I'm proposing tomorrow night.

Masterlist

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Love Like Ghosts (Lord Huron)

I don't feel it till it hurts sometimes/Oh, go on baby, hurt me tonight/I want ours to be an endless song/Baby, in my eyes, you do no wrong/I don't feel it till it hurts sometimes/So go on, baby, hurt me tonight/All the spirits that I know I saw/Do you see no ghost in me at all?

"The use of ghosts as a metaphor for ghosts is just. so good. The idea of being haunted by your pasts love/seeing yourself as a ghost because of love is such a fascinating idea like?? Referring to the concept of love with "what ain't living can never really die" is really interesting because the love was "never living" meaning....that the love wasn't real? that the love was one sided? that they were never in love at all? it could mean a thousand different things and the entire song is skewed from the perspective of the narrator. The character narrator's of LH songs are....notoriously unreliable to put it lightly, and this one could be viewed in the same way. The narrator is adamant that the person they're singing to doesn't truly love them, but doesn't want them to leave her, but we have no way to know that for certain. She implies that the person is lying to her and doesn't truly want her with the line "You don't want me baby, please don't lie" but again, we don't know if thats true. It leaves this song is such a weird state of leaving the listener guessing and walking away with their own meaning of the song."

Against The Kitchen Floor (Will Wood)

And I swear! I will die trying!/I'm still in the process, but I'm making progress; I promise I honestly wanna prove improvement's possible, I swear!/I'm so fucking sorry! I'm not a good person, I'm barely a person at all, But someday I'll be perfect, and I'll make up for it all!

Less rare than scarce, less diamond then rough/Unlikely to be more than just the coal you failed to crush

I'm catatonic in your arms, crying, "How did I cause so much harm?"/I'm down pounding my head against the kitchen floor/Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours

The vertex of my redemption arc/I’m searching on that virgin heart

"The raw emotion! And I strongly relate to desperately wanting to improve for someone you love. I belt out this song when I feel really hopeless"

"my one OC. also me. also it's just a really good song. one of will's best imo. screaminbg"

"Literally hits almost all of my self-esteem issues. Feeling like people only care about you for your body? Check. Not understanding why anyone would want you? Check. Thinking that all you do is hurt people? Check. I don't cry very often but this song DEFINITELY made me teary"

"one of those if u aren’t paying attention to the lyrics ur like this is nice but once u hear them its an OW holy OW and guilt and I’m sorry feelings"

"Just. Loving someone but not feeling like you’re good enough and trying to improve."

"Not only does this song have lyrics that are deeply relatable to me, but this song also feels very deeply personal to the artist and I feel that anyone who listens to it for the first time has that same feeling of getting punched in the gut. Just the lyrics and the melody and Will Wood’s incredible vocals make this song an absolute masterpiece and I cry every time I hear it."

"One reason I'm attached to this song is because my friend sent it to me and said "I'm kin assigning you this song" and ruined my life (/j) It messed me up because I've always had a hard time in my life figuring myself out and dealing with my emotions, and for what feels like the first time, this song has been able to near perfectly describe how I feel about myself and my impact on other people, and it always just meant so much to me that my friend who sent it to me knows me better than I know myself and shared the song with me and I love them dearly."

Love Like Ghosts submitted by @danidoesathing

Against the Kitchen Floor submitted by @pixopolis + others

[graciegoeskrazy]

idea - what do you think it would be like when charli first introduced george to her daughter??? the idea has been pingponging in my head for a bit. ALSO! how do you think george would feel/react

LOVE THIS

Y'all had actually met before when him, matty and your mom were working together on the vocals for 'spinning'

the plan was kind of last minute so you had no choice but to come to the studio with your mom - not that you minded at all

you had heard about the band before but knew very little about them or the band

other than the fact that your mom was a fan and admired them

They were nice, your mom sounded beautiful as always, you mainly stayed quiet and scrolled on your phone because you knew they more than likely only had one night to do this and didn't want to be in the way and you were content watching random things on tiktok

you all said goodbye, it was fun, songs a hit, yay that's it

right?

WRONG THEY START DAITING

it wasnt official official for awhile but they were texting nonstop and clearly something was happening they just didn't know what exactly

as much as she didn't talk about it or swore against it you didn't miss how she smiled nearly everytime she got a notification or how the one time you caught a glance at it the contact said "George💚"

which you thought was interesting

the truth was that even though Charli really really liked George and vise versa they were both busy as hell and currently on opposite sides of the country and they didn't want to tell you until they knew for sure and were able to actually see each other

especially because your mom and broken up with her long time boyfriend not that long ago

and hurt you too

a lot

eventually the NME awards were taking place

and you were your mums date!

at the table you noticed her friend give a suggestive nod to somewhere on the other side of the room to which your mom sighed and smiled and shook her head no

"what?" you asked

"oh its nothing darling. I was just trying to get you mom to say hi to a familiar face. that's all."

Charli slapped her friends leg under the table

you realized the table she was nodding to was the one George and the band were at

you also realized she was staring back and forth the whole night

he was too

iwishyoudtalktalkwishyoudtalktalkwishyoudtalktalk

anywhooooo cut to a few days later

your mom was throwing another party or whatever

and said she needed to talk to you

"someone very special to me to gonna come over tomorrow during the party-"

"Its George."

she was FLABERGASTED

like she thought she did a good job of hiding everything from you all this time but guess not!

"What?!"

"It's George. You're talking about George. He's the 'someone special' right?" you said giving a smirk

her jaw was on the floor

"How do you know that? Who told you that?!"

you just gave her a look and said "Im young not dumb and oblivious mom."

She just smiled so big and pulled you into a hug.

okay so as if its a surprise to anyone - George is a nervous wreck :)

like practically pacing

Its not like the whole point of this party was for you and George to meet

and like more than half of the people there didn't even know they were dating

and charli and george weren't even sure if you were going to make an appearance

but ya did

You knew him and your mom were anxious about the meeting so u decided to have fun with it

you waited till you mom left the kitchen and it was just George and a couple of other people who weren't paying attention

You grabbed a drink and a small plate of food dropping a casual "hey George." as you did it

you could sense his heart rate quickening it was halarious

He cleared his throat, "Hey, y/n. How've you been."

You shrugged "Fine...You've been busy though?"

"Y/n Aitchison." You mom sternly said form behind startiling you

you said "sorry" and gave him a genuine smile before heading back upstairs

They both laughed so hard once you left

He was nice it wasnt like you would mess with his tooooo much

....

........

just a little bit maybe

it could be worse

she could be dating matty

[harukamitsuki]

I'm procrastinating writing at the moment, so I decided to create a list of the things I hate about Voltron, a show I can't help but love and rewatch 200+ times. I mean. I've been pretty damn vocal about one thing in particular, but I should probably remind people I hate other things too so...

This list will be long, so read more under the cut!

1 - Okay, let's just get the obvious one out of the way: Lance. Reasons why can be seen here, here and here. The first link really goes into the details, the second one is more confusion as to why people think Lance is treated the worst, and the last is more why Lance would be horrible as Black Paladin. MOVING ON TO NEW POINTS!

2 - The ships. Specifically... ahem... Klance, Sheith, Allurance, Lotorance (Lotor/Lance), Shidge (Shiro/Pidge), Shance (Shiro/Lance). Those, in my opinion, are the top offenders. I've explained my grievances with Sheith in a post here. It's not that it's paedophillia, it's the bond. As for the rest, while I dabbled a bit in Klance and Allurance in the aforementioned posts against Lance, I've yet to actually explain.

First of all, the fans are awful. Tip: If you keep trying to force people to like your ship instead of letting them get to their own conclusions, they're just going to hate that ship even more. This isn't a Voltron-specific thing, but it's still rampant.

Second of all, Lance doesn't treat either of them well. He's constantly antagonising Keith, even when Keith stops biting back in season two. The closest he gets to respecting Keith is telling him to suck it up when he's upset that the Black Lion chose him. Keith does try to be amicable to Lance, but it doesn't work because Lance is always picking a fight.

And Allura. Lance is constantly ignoring her boundaries and invading them. There isn't a single moment where they're alone together and they feel like friends, much less pining, before season seven. The only time is when Allura encourages Lance to take up Red, and he didn't even notice she was upset that Red rejected her. In fact, Lance just keeps talking about himself and how he was rejected, ignoring how Allura was rejected twice, and by the Lion her father piloted. Allura also never reacts well to Lance's flirting, always ignoring him and frowning when he does. If Allura, at least, used to laugh at his terrible attempts at flirting, maybe I could try to believe it.

Third, general grievances with these ships.

Lotorance. Lance hated Lotor from the get-go. They barely have a scene together without Lance glaring at him. If they shared some sort of chemistry outside of Lance hating him from afar, and if the writers didn't make Lotor a twist villain for no reason, then maybe. As of now, I only like it as a complete crack ship.

Shidge. Pidge is fifteen. Shiro is twenty-five. You do the damn math.

Shance. I can definitely see Shiro being Lance's bi awakening, if I believed canon Lance was bi. (Canon Lance was straighter than a chopping board, but fanon Lance is a walking bi flag). But them being together? Ignoring that Lance is 17 and Shiro is 25, if you can do that, it wouldn't feel like a healthy relationship. Lance is blinded by hero worship and, from his canon personality, he likely wouldn't realise if Shiro isn't faring well or would just constantly pile his troubles onto him without thinking about if Shiro could handle it. So, yeah, don't like this ship.

So, yeah. I don't like any of the popular ships, which is surprising. I don't hate all of them. I do like Kallura, (should have been canon), and Shallura, (surprising, because I really do like gay!Shiro), and Shunk, (who doesn't, honestly?). But I tend to prefer the nicher ones. Katt (Keith/Matt), Heith (Hunk/Keith), Hance (Hunk/Lance)...

3 - The writing. Usually, I would respect the writers because it's hard as fuck to plan and write an entire series, but they just kept missing. They would set up so many interesting plots and ideas, only to do absolutely nothing with them. This, in and of itself, is not enough to make me lose respect, but that's not all. Plot holes, terrible escalations, too slow pacing, (slow burns are good - great, even - but not when things are supposed to be happening), horrible romances... It's to the point where, for a long while, I avoided the show and only read the fanfiction. There are so many people who don't watch the show, only exposed through fanfiction and social media posts, because the writing just isn't good.

The writers get things right few times. I'm sorry, but if your entire job is to write a coherent, well-thought out story, why did they do such a bag job at it? I'll tell you why - they let the fans control what they did. Shiro was never supposed to come back. He was supposed to die at the end of season two and never come back, but the fans wanted him back so guess what? The writers brought him back! In doing so, they cut right into Keith's character arc and made him go through it off-screen. The fans built Lance up as the main character and fan-favourite? Well, the writers just decide to hand him everything. Reward him for being the fan-favourite and then ruin his character by never making him work for what he got.

The writers decide to pull a J.K.Rowling and went 'aw, yeah, Lance is bisexual!' despite him never showing an interest in a guy throughout the entire show, other than being a big fan of Shiro. They throw in gay!Shiro at the literal last minute with some background character who only ever had one line. Thanks, DreamWorks. It's not like you could've just let Adam live so Shiro could be going home to SOMEONE.

Unexpected things always happen. An actor being unavailable, a sudden irl event making it so the episode you planned would appear tone-deaf, the joke you wrote was less funny and more offensive... So on and so forth. Sometimes you have no choice but to change what you have planned because delaying it would just make the studio and the fans mad. Just... TRY to make it make sense. And don't fold to the fans, dammit. Shiro should have stayed dead because he just doesn't do anything when Allura and Keith saved him. The main character should have stayed as an ensemble, rather than pushing Lance as the central focus, because it would have left less reasons for me to hate Lance and give other, specifically Hunk, the development they deserved.

The show also never adresses traumatising shit, (*cough cough* Keith's sacrifice attempt *cough cough*), but that can be forgiven because it was aimed at children. I do, however, like that LM corrected an interviewer when they asked about Keith 'attempting to kill himself'. It was quickly corrected to 'sacrificing himself' because that's what it was! I'm sick of people acting like he was suicidal because he wasn't. He was actively scared of what he was going to do, i.e. sacrifice his life for everyone's sake. He tried to do it for the greater good. Would you call one of the many who died during wars suicidal? No. You would call them noble and heroic for their sacrifice, because that's what they are. That is what Keith was trying to do. He saw the only way out and decided one life in exchange for the many is a damn good deal and took it. Saying he was depressed and suicidal is undermining the actions he took.

So, yeah. In my eyes, the writers did two good things. Correcting the mistake belief that Keith was suicidal, and creating this shit-fest of a show. (God, I love/hate Voltron).

4 - How Pidge is treated by the fandom. Pidge is so mean. She's rude and callous and selfish and that's okay. What's not okay is acting like these traits make her a queen. She's rude, fine. She's callous, fine. She's selfish, fine. She's incredible for this? Um, no? Stop treating her like she's just sassy. She's mean. I mean, not long after Shiro's death/disappearance, she calls Keith, who is mourning Shiro so deeply, a 'loner'. Without even getting to know him. She just deems him a loner, even though Keith is just so genuinely kind?

Don't get me wrong. I love Pidge. She's great and she's an absolute joy to write. I admire her tenacity in trying to find her missing family members while also able to put the universe before them. Watching her break down about Matt when she thinks he's dead is so utterly heartbreaking because I really did like her.

But acting as if she's perfect because of this? No way.

(Also, I refer to Pidge as 'she/her' only in these posts. I much prefer gender neutral or trans Pidge.)

5 - Hunk's treatment. He deserved SO MUCH BETTER! This sweet, precious boy. He's the only one who reacted approppriately to becoming a child solider. He's an anxious, terrified kid and he's still able to swallow that fear and fight on because there are people, people like Shay, who have no idea what freedom means and if the sky is blue.

He's the only one who has to find and fight for his family when they get back to Earth, which makes me sad. Very sad. He cares so much about his friends. Even if he's scared, he'll still put himself in danger for them.

But the narrative treats him like garbage, reducing him to the comedic, fat joke, while Lance never treats him like a best friend. He deserved so much more than what he was given.

6 - The people in charge were so obsessed with doing every character dirty. They wanted to keep Shiro death, wanted to kill Keith after admitting to not knowing where they were going with him, tried to kill Hunk who did nothing wrong to deserve this, and actually killed Allura off when they realised Allurance would not work in the long-term because Lance would not be able to part from Earth for so long while Allura would not be able to stay confined to Earth at all.

7 - Lance fans would hate him if he was white.

[black-arcana]

EPICA's SIMONE SIMONS Recruits ARCH ENEMY's ALISSA WHITE-GLUZ For 'Cradle To The Grave' Music Video

EPICA singer Simone Simons has shared the music video for the song "Cradle To The Grave" from her just-released debut solo album. "Vermillion", which was made available on August 23 via Nuclear Blast Records, is a collaboration with Simone's longtime musical partner Arjen Lucassen (AYREON).

The music video for "Cradle To The Grave" features a guest appearance by ARCH ENEMY's Alissa White-Gluz and can be seen below.

Simons and Lucassen comment: "'Cradle To The Grave' is about the universal experience of navigating life's ups and downs and the quest for meaning and purpose. It views the human condition as one of struggle and resilience, where despite efforts to build and achieve, there's an underlying acceptance that life is brief, finite and often cruel."

In a recent interview with El Cuartel Del Metal, Simons was asked how long she has been planning her debut solo project. Simone said: "Well, actively for, I guess, one and a half years, or one year even, with Arjen. We started, yeah, last year, I think springtime or so. But I talked to him about working together, I asked him if he wanted to work with me on my solo album already years ago, if he would be interested. And he was, but we were both just too busy. And last year, we also did the AYREON shows together; I was part of that. But already before those took place, we met up because he already started writing songs, and he always kind of wrote two, three songs and then I would come over to him to record vocals. And then a couple of months later he would have more songs. So it was not that all songs were there all at once. But we did it in a couple of sessions. And, yeah, EPICA was not touring a lot. And writing a new record for EPICA was kind of a little bit like at the end of the last vocal recordings for 'Vermillion'. EPICA was also in the studio, or writing camps, writing albums. So, for me, I guess this was the freest I could get my calendar, but I still had things going on. And in the past we were just touring too much. So the wish was always there, but not the time, also for Arjen because he's very busy as well. But now we were both motivated and had the time. The time was right now."

Regarding the first two singles from the LP, "Aeterna" and "In Love We Rust", Simone said: "Well, 'Aeterna' was the idea of Arjen to release as a first single track, because it is a little bit of a perfect blend of AYREON and EPICA; there's quite some similarities of both our music career, I guess. So it would be kind of a soft introduction to both our fans, to get warm with the project. But it's definitely not an indication of how the whole album sounds like; it's still very, very different. And 'In Love We Rust' is one of both Arjen and my favorite tracks of the album, and it's a beautiful ballad. Who doesn't like a ballad? And this month, there will be a third single, which will be a very heavy song. So I'm curious to see what people are gonna say about that. But all songs are brilliant and I like 'em all. They're like all babies in a way. But 'Aeterna', I felt a little bit sorry for Patric [Ullaeus] who did the video because it's a long song to do a video for. Nowadays singles are always three, max four minutes, and EPICA is always surpassing that, but, yeah, six minutes of supernovas, planets and many dresses. [Laughs]"

Simone and Arjen previously stated about "Aeterna": "'Aeterna' is the big, epic opener of the album and it comes with this amazing video too, directed by Patric Ullaeus. It definitely sounds the closest to EPICA and AYREON, blending powerful Latin lyrics with a touch of an oriental feel. We've tried to strike a balance between the mighty, bombastic sounds and the more atmospheric parts. Since it's the first track people will hear from this album, it's super important to us and we're really excited for people to hear it!

"'Aeterna' takes the point of view of a star about to go supernova to explore how everything in the universe is interconnected, like a cosmic web made from stardust. It deals our deep emotions, consciousness and other mysteries of life that science still can't fully explain. Essentially it's a reflection on our place in the vast universe and the connections that bind us together, as we're all, to quote Carl Sagan, 'made of starstuff.'"

About "In Love We Rust", Simone and Arjen said: "The video was filmed in just one take to keep it as pure and raw as possible. We opted to keep it in black and white so as not to distract from the song or the performance.

"'In Love We Rust' is quite different from our first single 'Aeterna', which shows how diverse this album is. This is one of our favorite songs. We hope you love this as much as we do."

For more than 20 years, ever since she was a teenager, Simons has been carving her own path as a woman within the world of metal. As a lead singer, icon, and role model for a whole generation of female metalheads, the EPICA lead singer remains one of the most prominent key figures in all things metal. After eight albums and countless global tours with her band, Simone Simons finally found the time to release her first solo album — a moment 15 years in the making. Her breathtaking debut "Vermillion" is a stunning feat chronicling her storied past as well as her rise to fame, and showcasing her many different influences ranging from prog rock to film scores to metal to electronic elements.

Of the timing for her eagerly awaited foray into the realms of a solo career, the Dutch singer says with a disarming grin: "EPICA has my priority and I always have the liberty to do other musical projects besides my career in EPICA. Yet I never had the time to dive into a project to this extent."

"Vermillion" track listing:

01. Aeterna 02. In Love We Rust 03. Cradle To The Grave (feat. Alissa White-Gluz) 04. Fight Or Flight 05. Weight Of My World 06. Vermillion Dreams 07. The Core 08. Dystopia 09. R.E.D. 10. Dark Night Of The Soul

[beauty-and-passion]

Eurovision 2023: more about the true winner because I said so

Hey, guess who is not over Eurovision 2023 yet.

It’s me, I am who.

I have never been so invested and still so obsessed over this year’s Eurovision. I mean, I am always hit by the post-depressive phase of Eurovision, but that lasts a couple days - during which I usually go through all the beautiful moments and listen to all the songs on repeat - then I’m back to my regular schedule of stupidly long analyses and fanfictions.

(By the way, sorry for all the Americans who follow me and have no idea of what I’m talking about or what happened in this year’s Eurovision. Just bear with me, I will come back to posting Sanders Sides stuff. Just not today)

This year... well, this year was truly something. And if the last year and the one before I was like “aww, what beautiful moments, I miss seeing these people having fun”, now it’s all mushed into one ball of feelings. I look at those artists having fun with the eyes of someone who saw how things went down. I look at them celebrating the true winner after the finale and I have this strange mix of nostalgia and heaviness.

I am not mad anymore for the result. Or better: I am and I will always be because 200 people stepped over the will of millions. But what this loss caused is just so fascinating and so unique, I want to keep exploring it - and maybe talking a little bit more about the true winner of Eurovision 2023 will help me process my feelings too.

Or I just will satisfy my need to ramble more about this incredible Finnish man, either way.

______________________

The sheer power of charisma

When you watch the entirety of Käärijä’s journey on this Youtube channel (and I suggest you do it, because it gives you a lot of food for thought), you notice a lot of interesting details.

From the moment he won the national competition and knew he had to go to Eurovision, Käärijä knew his only rival would’ve been Loreen. He said right from the start that it would’ve ended up with a confrontation between Sweden and Finland. He liked other songs and thought they could’ve been good opponents - but it’s pretty clear he knew the only one who could’ve opposed him was Sweden.

And he knew that Loreen was good. Even though I do not like her songs, even I have to admit she has good vocals. Sure, the vocals are the only thing I understand because she mumbles the rest of the song, but the vocals aren’t bad.

Käärijä knew she was the favorite to win. He praised her performance and called her “queen”, so he has been the first one to recognize her as a worthy opponent. He wasn’t so naive to think “I can easily beat her”.

However, he had some tricks up his sleeves. He knew his song was perfect for Eurovision, he basically designed it for that. He knew his performance would’ve got people’s attention. And he knew he had a lot of charisma.

You can say anything you want about him, but you cannot deny this man is charismatic. And this is a lot interesting, because charisma doesn’t have an exact definition and it’s not the same for everyone. And yet, we can all recognize and identify it as “charisma” when we see it.

The definition Wikipedia offers is that charisma is “a personal quality of presence or charm that compels its subjects”. And it’s undeniable that Käärijä has it. He has that genuine, simple honesty we see in childrens only and this activates our protective instincts, because we feel the need to protect him too. He is funny and makes us smile and everyone loves to smile and have fun. He is simple and humble and that makes him look more approachable and friendly than a superstar.

And his presence on stage is very, very good. He’s eye-catching and he knew it very well. He was the flashiest and the most interesting to look at - both because of his clothes and his appearance. Just compare him to the Cyprus guy: I don’t even remember the Cyprus guy’s face, but I doubt I will ever forget that iconic neon green bolero.

And I am sure he knew that very well. He knew the public would’ve loved him. He knew he would’ve gotten a lot of points because of the public. He knew he would’ve connected with them and not with the jury.

And so it was. The numbers are clear: he was and still is the public’s favorite. His result is the second highest in history right after Kalush Orchestra’s. The entire arena sang with him. During the voting portion, they kept calling his name. Everyone called him “winner”. As the Estonian singer Alika told him: “you had the public when they announced Loreen won”.

And by knowing that, I can understand why he was so bummed. He literally had everything: the perfect song, the charisma, public’s support. And I am pretty sure that, if the public gave more points to Loreen, he would’ve accepted his defeat easier.

But it wasn’t like that: he got more points than her in both the semifinal and the final. He has always been the public’s winner, right from the start. And even if he would've gotten the theoretical maximum of public votes from Europe (432), he still would've ended up behind Sweden.

Losing because 222 people gave your opponent an unbeatable lead isn’t something easy to digest. I mean, it’s been days and I haven’t digested it yet! And I am definitely not a singer, nor I did take part in the competition. However, I voted for him and, well, I am quite pissed that my money got wasted because of a stupid unfair system. The EBU should really refund everyone who tried to vote, considering there was no way to defeat the sheer power of the jury.

So, well, the competition ended with the public’s favorite losing the piece of glass. I will get over it, everyone will get over it. Käärijä himself will get over it - now he’s still rightfully sad about it, but as he said, life goes on.

And he will soon realize that losing the competition turned him into something more than a simple winner.

______________________

The birth of a legend

If Käärijä won, he would’ve been just the winner of Eurovision 2023. People would’ve loved him like they love Kalush Orchestra or Maneskin. Everyone would’ve been happy, a little bit of post-Eurovision depression as always and we would’ve forgotten it.

But losing had an even bigger impact, because Käärijä didn’t step down to second place, but over the first place. Being so spectacularly wronged in front of the world made him ascend to the status of legend and the public went crazy for him. Cha Cha Cha reached the top of Spotify's top 50 global, people from all European countries called him “the true winner” and I’ve seen more than one American, who knew nothing about Eurovision, watch his performance and protest for the result as well.

Even Tumblr was affected by this: the tag Eurovision trended for 3 days after its ending and, after it stopped trending, Käärijä kept doing it for days. And he’s still doing it, so good job people, let’s keep the party going on for a little longer: we all deserve it, after all. You know, as a little FUCK YOU to the jury.

What about Youtube? His grand final performance reached ca. 9 mln views in three days and if you check the comment section, is full of people calling him the true winner as well.

Heck, the Eurovision channel made a video specifically about his journey, like the usually do for winners only (in fact, they did one for Loreen. And Käärijä’s video got more views than Loreen’s in one single day).

And all over Europe people are still protesting and asking for the voting system to change. The Norway delegation asked it first and I fully support them, because they are constantly robbed by the jury. I liked Duncan Lawrence’s Arcade in 2019, but KEiiNO was a completely different level. (And if you loved KEiiNO too, please check their Youtube channel because they have made a lot of other songs and OH MY GOSH THEY ARE ALL GREAT)

Käärijä united Europe with his music and his energy and I understand why Finnish people are so proud of him: there are very few artists who are able to connect people so well. And he did it by using his mother tongue, not English! That’s an even bigger win imho, because it proves that if you have a great song, a strong performance and incredible charisma, people will appreciate you and go past the language barrier without any problem.

That’s why humankind loves music, after all: because it doesn’t need to be understood word by word, to reach people’s hearts.

______________________

The hero’s journey

There are many reasons why people fell in love with this funky green man and they all differ: someone loves his bubbly personality, others were touched by his genuinity, others just fell on the ground laughing and who doesn’t love someone that makes you laugh? And yes, there are some who are just horny for him and you are valid too, because he’s a good-looking man.

However, I think that the main reason why so many people got so invested, it’s because he had the perfect hero’s journey.

He already had a story perfect for a movie, even before starting Eurovision: when he was younger, he was diagnosed with colitis ulcerosa and the disease almost took his life (this post has an interview with all details). But because of that experience, he realized life is short and he should’ve pursued what he truly wanted - i.e. singing. I mean, this alone is perfect material for a movie already.

But now he got another story, and it’s even more like a movie: the story of the young man no one knew, who left his city in his small country, to reach the big European stage. A man with a funny spirit, who connected with everyone despite his broken English - and he wonderfully improved it along the way. Just look at how much more confident he became! Truly a masterful example of how we should just talk and make mistakes, in order to get better in another language.

So we followed the adventures of this funny man and of the friends he made along the way. We had fun and cried for the beauty of his friendship with Bojan (he literally called Käärijä “my new brother” and a small part of my heart that was broken got immediately healed). We got involved in his climbing to the top, we saw him face the behemoth that was opposing him and hoped for him to overcome it.

And he got the tragic conclusion of a hero’s journey: a hero who won and yet still lost.

People love this shit. We have always loved the story of the little one against the unbeatable enemy, the nobody who got the recognition he deserves, the kind heart defeated by the corrupt system. Those are all things that touch people and all aspects of the hero’s journey. And people naturally hope for a happy ending, so if we get a sad, bad or unfair one instead, we tend to feel even more empathetic towards the protagonist. And if your protagonist is as lovable as he is, the feeling is 100x stronger.

I really don’t know if the national juries expected this to happen, when they knew who the public’s favourite was and yet decided to award a different artist. But by doing that, they became the perfect enemy to close Käärijä’s journey and build a legend.

So, well, thanks for sucking so much. You built the legend you didn’t want to.

And yes, Käärijä’s enemy IS NOT Loreen. Loreen did her thing, she didn’t bribe the judges to give her votes. The problem is the jury’s power. So, for all the people who are still harrassing her: please stop hating this woman, she just did what other artists did too.

And since we’re talking about her, please stop saying shit like “She shouldn’t have participated!” too, because this is both very stupid (everyone is allowed to participate in Eurovision) and very disrespectful towards Käärijä himself. It’s a bit like saying that sure, he was good, but, like, you know, not enough good.

And this is totally wrong because this man has been able to defeat Loreen twice, both during the semifinal and the final (at least according to the votes that matter). So stop undermining his ability: he is a good artist. Actually, an artist so good only Loreen was able to compete against him.

And if you still think it’s right to hate Loreen for whatever reason, then I would like to bring this to your attention:

The king literally proposed to Loreen. And, considering how accurate was his foresight about the whole competition, I think it’s time we start to think about when it will happen and how many children they will have.

So if you are still harassing her: stop protesting for the piece of glass and ask her when will they get married, instead. We need to know.

Also, wouldn’t that be an even more perfect ending for Käärijä’s hero’s journey? Not only the great evil (aka the jury) will be defeated, but he will marry the only woman strong enough to oppose him. 100/10 I want a movie now.

And yes, I know Käärijä also proposed to Bojan and they are fathers of a baby sea lion. But what’s the problem? Doesn’t Käärijä have two hands? With one hand can hold Bojan, with the other Loreen, duh.

(Then he will probably need another hand for Selena from Austria, because I think she developed a little crush on him but hey, that’s the life of a hero I guess.)

______________________

Have you listened to his other songs yet?

I just want to confirm they are bops and you should listen to them immediately. Also, do not forget his concert on Saturday that will be available worldwide. Let’s show love to the king.

And yes, that means another post will come out. I mean, there are still so many things we need to know! I want to see the photos of that mural people are doing for him in Vantaa, I want to see the music collaboration between him and Bojan, I want to see them visiting little Edgar at the zoo. And I can’t wait to hear about his future European tour, because he has to do one. And maybe that will fully convey him how big his impact has been indeed.

As people told him in the after party, he conquered the world. Now he just needs to see it for himself.

[bookscandlesnbts]

Jimin, Serendipity, and Me

I’ve been wanting to make this post for a while. I had to wait until all the dust settled from MS and I could type this without crying. It’s no secret that Jimin is very special to me, which sounds silly to say because I don’t actually know him in real life, but I feel connected to him. Hear me out.

Even after all of the amazing solo songs that Jimin has gifted us, Serendipity is still my favorite. Between the concept of serendipity itself, the sweet meaningful lyrics, Jimin’s delicate angelic vocals, the lofi production, and last but not least, the choreography, I can’t imagine Jimin releasing a song that I like more. Well, he’s Park Jimin so obviously he could, but I don’t think I’ll have the same emotional connection to it let’s just say.

Now the concept of Serendipity is also meaningful to me. The dictionary definition is as follows: the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.

So how do Jimin and Serendipity connect with me? Let me explain.

For many of us, Jimin is our comfort person. I personally do not have a partner (not a pity party I don’t want to date anyone) but I do have close friends. And I have Jimin. So, when Jimin went off to MS, I knew I would lose those moments of Serendipty where he would surprise me with his goregous presence and soothing voice when I needed him. I’m talking about Weverse Lives here and formerly Vlives. We know in Jimin’s case that lives are planned and not at all spontaneous like Jungkook. And, we know last year these were few and far between. He’s usually at Hybe or in the car coming to and from work, so when these lives lined up with big moments in my life, it was true serendipity.

1. My “big girl” job interview. When I interviewed for a faculty position (current place of employment), I was extremely nervous. I was still in graduate school, hadn’t defended by PhD yet and had no idea what to expect. I woke up really early and when I started doing my make up, I got the notification on my phone that Jimin went live. It was a much needed confidence boost and what timing.

2. My actual PhD defense. A few months later, the same thing happened again. Morning of my PhD defense I was awake super early and putting my make up on and Jimin went live and I watched and listened to him talk the entire time I got ready. It was the good omen that I needed and serendipitous that the random time Jimin was live again was on the morning of my PhD defense.

3. This example was in 2021, but it still counts. I was with a friend at Disney and it was 1:00 am and she randomly got sick and was throwing up in the bathroom. I am petrified of throwing up. No, I’m not the friend that is going to hold your hair back; I’m going to have a panic attack instead. While this was happening, Jimin went live (I remember he was in the car) and listening to him and focusing on him really calmed me down.

In conclusion, Jimin has unknowingly supported me through some huge moments in my life. And it was especially hard coming to terms with him not being here this year. Fortunately, no major milestones should be happening this year for me, but it was always interesting seeing when we would get to see him. This was more cathartic for me to write than anything. But given how special Jimin is, I wouldn’t be surprised if he has serendipitously been there for you too.

[maddsmallow]

finally!!! my month and a half late dutp mermay pic is DONE. i have a whole, like, story idea for this pic, which you can read here on my twitter! EDIT: fuck twitter, i deleted it, so the story idea is now under the cut if you're interested! i think signy and audwin from time princess' swan lake story can work really well with a mermaid twist on their characters. also i just want mermaid audwin and human signy to smooch a lot uwu

also. nothin' like drawing mermaids to kick your ass into figuring out how tf to draw water lmaooo

the story goes something like this: signy is the daughter of some rich guy and they've always been by the ocean (maybe the company has something to do with the ocean?), and i haven't quite figured out what he does, but either he or uncle arthur start getting into some shifty shit and maybe get into offshore oil drilling, or something that will hardcore pollute the water. she's expected to take over whatever the company is, but she doesn't give a shit and like, just wants to be a marine biologist. she has her own boat (bc rich people privileges) and often goes out into the water to just get away from it all and chill, and maybe she does some diving to look at the fish and coral n stuff. idk how any of this works irl lmao. but anyways, audwin has been watching her for a while, because humans are very interesting, before she finally spots him. after freaking out, she decides to keep him a secret because even as a marine biologist or whatever, she knows a find this big would be more dangerous to the merman himself than beneficial for any research. so she goes out to their meeting spot to hang out with him most days, and even though they cant communicate, she talks to him and he seems to understand. he brings her gifts and she brings him human stuff to look at. eventually she says something like, "i wish we could talk, i so badly wish to know more about you," and audwin's like. welp that's enough consent for me. so he uses his magic to turn her into a mermaid. and of course she FREAKS but then she's like!! oh fuck!! we can talk now! i can explore without needing air!! tell me and show me EVERYTHING. so they explore and they talk. audwin explains, a bit vaguely, about how he "doesn't belong with the rest of the mer people" even though they are a social species, so having to fend for himself for his whole life has left him a bit scrawny and, while he would have been riddled with scars from having to fight with other creatures on his own, has become very good at magic to defend himself. and now that they can understand each other and have an actual mutual conversation, audwin's like. oh heck. i like this girl a lot (assuming he didn't already consider her his mate because of the constant exchange of gifts).

just before she's about to be like okay this was fun but i gotta get back to my life on land, they spot a body floating in the water, and before audwin can pull her back signy goes to it and pulls the unconscious man to the shore and performs cpr and brings him back. he looks weirdly like audwin. she can't speak in any human language anymore (mermaids in this universe don't have the right vocal chord structure or whatever to speak human language), having taken the form of a mermaid, but he seems to understand what she's saying anyways? how could that be? she turns to audwin for an explanation and he's like, yeah so uh, the magic i used to give you a tail actually just swapped your human parts for another mer person's mermaid parts. so i guess this is the guy you swapped with and he's actually a mermaid, so he knows what you're saying. and signy is of course PISSED she's like this random other mermaid dude coulda died just for me to have a bit of fun?? that's fucked dude. and audwin's like, "why would i give a shit when i was cast out as a baby from the rest of mermaid society? YOU are my only friend." and then the other guy, who introduces himself as aldous (and i guess a side effect of audwin's magic is that he can fluently speak english or whatever now lmao), is like. yeah that's cool and all but, this is actually terrible fucking timing. some dude just came into my kingdom and is fucking everything up hardcore and i need to be there to fight him off. but even if audwin switched their tail/legs back, aldous would be too weak from, yknow, almost dying from drowning to actually fight whoever is fuckin shit up. so signy is like ME AND AUDWIN WILL DO IT and before audwin can even say anything, she grabs her cell phone from her shorts (let's just assume her clothes are on her boat and the boat is nearby lmao) and has aldous call her friend ben (the guard from the story!) and relay a message to him to meet her at the shore. he does and he sees the situation, and with aldous translating, signy tells ben to take care of this random dude she found on the beach. "dont ask questions its just REALLY IMPORTANT." and he's like. fuck okay sure. and just before signy and audwin go off to see what's going on with the mer kingdom, aldous gives audwin a pendant that will grant him access inside no matter what. every mer person has a pendant that has magic to allow them into their respective kingdom, but aldous had always had two of them, a gold and green one and a silver and purple one, and he feels that maybe the purple one belongs to audwin.

so aldous goes with ben to ben's place to rest and recoup, and signy and audwin go to the kingdom to see what their deal is. i dunno what's going on there, i haven't quite figured it out, but basically the king, aldous' (and audwin's) dad, is losing his marbles and made some kind of pact with a human who ends up being signy's dad or uncle, but then her dad/uncle was just going to betray the agreement and kill them all for access to an oil drilling spot? i dunno. but i have a scene in my head where they hide in what seems to be some kind of abandoned prison with one cell, and there ends up being one mer woman in there who ends up calling audwin's name when she sees him. audwin is shocked, and approaches carefully, and she cries while she explains she's so happy to see him alive and well. she tells him that his father separated him from his family just a bit after she'd birthed him and her brother because he was certain he was going to fulfill some kind of prophecy and overthrow him, and then he cast her into prison because she was so heartbroken that she was deemed "mad." the king brought up aldous as an only child with no memory of his twin brother or his mother, but always had an inkling that something was missing because of the second pendant he'd always had, which was given to him as a baby by their mother before she was taken away. audwin despairs at the fact that his mother and the life he should have had were ripped away from him by one man, and hugs his mother tight before swearing to take the king down.

some big climax happens and they take down the mer king and throw him in the cell that used to house the queen (cuz im not creative enough to come up with a non-prison sentence even tho fuck prisons and also acab irl), who then takes her rightful place back at the throne, and they also take down signy's dad/uncle or whatever, i dunno, i haven't figured this shit out yet lmaoo. but anyways, they sort it all out and they fall in love n all that shit. audwin speaks to his mother and tells her, he's never belonged to mer society and trying to integrate now would majorly suck, especially without signy at his side, who has to go back to land to give aldous his mer body back. he'd rather be by signy's side, separated by land and ocean, than not be near her at all. she's his one true friend. his mother understands, and bestows a new pendant to signy that, when worn, will allow her to understand the mer language even as a human, and allow her back into mer society should they ever return. they go back to the surface and they get ben and aldous back to the shore and audwin swiches signy and aldous' human and mer bodies back. it's a sad occassion. signy doesn't want to leave audwin behind in the water, and it's clear that aldous and ben have developed some kind of feelings for each other (do i have aldous and the guard fall in love in every dutp swan lake story i've ever thought up? YES). ben suddenly pipes up and is like, audwin switch with me!! and everyone else is like HUH?? ben explains that he doesn't really have anything in the human world to miss, he's not leaving behind much [insert some kind of tragic story for ben that i haven't thought up yet], and if they switch, they can both be with the people they want to spend their lives with. so they switch. audwin becomes a human and ben a merman, and then signy's like. welp, guess i don't need this anymore, and gives ben her pendant. they're all smiles and hugs, and then before they say goodbye and leave, audwin turns to aldous and says, "hey, say hi to mom for me." and aldous, who doesn't know they're brothers, is like WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WHILE I WAS GONE--

and anyways. aldous gets to meet his mother (who will know exactly what happened with signy and auwdin the second she sees ben with her pendant and it makes her smile) and stay with ben who adapts to mer society fairly easily, and audwin gets to stay with his best friend and love in the human world. signy's dad's company tanks which she is glad for, and maybe she and audwin use the money she has to open up some kind of ocean clean-up project or something. standard cheesy barbie-like plot haha. wham bam, signy x audwin mermay story

will i ever write it? nope. if anyone wants to yoink this idea, go ahead! just credit me (and also @ me so i can read it hehe) !!!

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i based the boat off of this pic of a greenline 39 yacht

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consider supporting me on ☕ ! ko -fi. com / maddsmallow (without spaces)

[andmaybegayer]

Last Monday of the Week 2024-08-19

Tech companies will give you six interviews and think it's normal.

Listening: Got introduced to Skiltron who unfortunately I don't like very much. I'll see if it grows on me but not quite my speed, which is a shame because normally "metal and it has bagpipes" would have me from minute 0.

This is a metal band that does a bunch of Celtic-y sounds so they are, of course, from Argentina.

I think that this goes too far away from what I'm coming to metal for, their vocals are too clear. Strip out the vocal stem and I think I would like this a normal amount, but the clean vocals pull me out of it. You don't have to go full croak for it but at least growl a little.

Reading: Started up on The Tyrant Baru Cormorant which about ⅕ of the way into the book already feels like I'm getting to the end of a book which is a good and normal sign that everything is going to be smooth sailing for the remaining sections of the book, I'm sure.

Baru is so fucked all the time it's incredible, like, you can see at every point how she just cannot keep herself from playing into the Masquerade's hands because she owes all her power to things she wants to destroy.

The story is very careful to not linger too long on all the horrible things she's doing to herself and others which means that while they're not hard to spot, you feel much more like you're inside her head where these things are the price you pay for the power she wields.

The setting of "sailing around in frigates but with essentially 1920's medicine" kinda rules.

Watching: Watched Blade (1998) which is a great deal of fun. If you can't ignore old CGI you're in trouble but otherwise it's over the top in a really enjoyable way.

Masquerade settings are a lot of fun, I kind of mentioned this in the John Wick entry, the idea that there is a secret parallel world overlaid on the real one scratches some good itches, I need to find more and more diverse kinds of masquerades.

Some motherfuckers always trying to ice skate uphill! Perfect metaphor.

Also more Gundam, up to like, e32? They just got back to space for the first time since arriving on Earth. I think that sometime around Odessa I went from kind of enjoying Gundam to really thinking it's doing something special. It's really dedicated to keeping you off-balance and throwing these very thorny situations and questions at you, even as a show that has to completely ignore a bunch of its deepest questions in order to be a children's toy advert.

Playing: Picked up KSP for a couple hours, I keep on not playing it long enough to do anything interesting so I'm completely ignoring time, I'm allowed to fast forward as much as I want to make missions happen. Trying to "fill time" often kills my desire to do missions, since even a simple mission can require hundreds of days of in game time and even if you have a whole lot of orbital admin within like, Kerbin and Jool systems those only use a couple days at a time.

Built some resource scanners and chucked them at Eve and Gilly, want to try and set up a fuel refinery base on both to operate a fuel interchange where you can launch crew from Eve and refuel in orbit with fuel more economically harvested at Gilly to account for the stupendous fuel expense of leaving Eve. Busy trialling re-entry of a little rover thing for scouting ground sites

Making: Made a bunch of progress on the LED driver, writing to flash storage, updated webui, but it is currently getting stuck after running for an hour or two and I cannot figure out why. Some of these issues seem to be more power delivery related rather than actual issues so it might be time to actually set up regulators and power supply for this thing.

Tools and Equipment: You can just put cups of water in the fridge to cool down. No one can stop you. I've been filling up my Tumblr Colour Of The Sky cup with water and fridging it to help keep cool.

[mayimkjs]

FOOL's MATE Update Post #5

Master Post　　Last Update

School Date: Fall, Term 9, Week 1

Haven't done much this month. Mainly just house keeping stuff. Most of the changes to the research doc have been made in the past week because I wanted to have this update out on the 6th.

Obligatory happy birthday to our favorite mentally ill twink. I'll be adding today's timeline to all of the documents that it needs later today. So It wont be in today's research compile. I'll give a little bit of what I think here though. I find it interesting that it's John who's in it and that he's still playing the monster act. I'll make a full post about it soon.

I was also watching Akidearest's newest video which reminded me that I should probably define what Japan counts as murder. So I wrote up a quick slide that takes what she read off of an article about if writing in the Death Note counts as murder. I'll expand it using other and more appropriate sources soon. I just want to have that slide and those ideas down so I don't forget about it.

Pre-Pro Mode

I have officially started my Pre-Production class. I'll be posting work that I do for that class whenever I have it done. The main assignments for the class, in order of due date, are the project proposal, budget, scripts and storyboards. I have the class Tuesdays, so these posts will likely be on Tuesdays.

Prototype Intro

Here's the finalized prototype intro. There isn't any audio in this version. There was audio in the version I turned into my teacher. I would have had to cut some things out and the timeline got messed up somehow, so I just rendered a different comp that contains everything that I wanted to render.

Promo Video

I've started to make the first promo video. I wanted to have it ready for Mikoto's birthday, but that's obviously not happening. So now my goal is to have this done for Double's anniversary. Here's the storyboard.

Changes

Added

How did he not get caught

General Music Info

What in Japan counts as murder?

English Covers

Finished

Vocal styles

Expanded

Birthstones

The Role of Jackalopes in MILGRAM

Links

Mikoto’s & John’s Speech Patterns

Moved

The Kayano System in a Musical Context under Mikoto’s & John’s Speech Patterns

Links

Research Doc (Comments on like always)

Milanote

Reddit Post

Feedback Form

Commission Form

Volunteer Form

[xplrvibes]

People have a para-social relationship with these guys, especially with Colby. If him and Malia were to end things (which I hope they don’t because she seems lovely and they both seem genuinely happy together) they’d find issues with the next girl. I see it with the Sturniolo fandom big time. Chris had a mark on his neck and all these girls were going wild trying to convince each other that it was anything but a hickey. I’ll never understand it 😅

This got really long and rambly - sorry about that! Its just kind of an interesting subject to me. Most of it is behind a cut for everyone's sanity lol.

When it comes to Colby, there are a couple different factors that cause the phenomenon of weird obsession that wildly facilitates between love and hate that we see him get.

The first factor is indeed that parasocial bond people have formed with him over the years, which was strengthened by the fact that, for so many years, Colby was very (almost too) accessible to fans. He spent a lot of time engaging with fans, relating to them, validating them and making them feel like a part of his life. Hell, he'd tell them all the time how much he valued their opinion AND make changes in his life based on the public's perception of him (the most recent example of this is can think of is the incident with his background on his phone being a picture of himself - Twitter made fun of it, he immediately changed it and acknlowedged he changed it because they mocked him for it. That's a heady, heady power he gave people).

The second factor is that he always promoted himself as this sad, single loner who would often wax poetic about being lonely and lost on social media - which the fans ate up because who doesn't love a sad boi lol - while at the same time, spending a lot of time developing these confusing, will they/won't they relationships with girls who the fans also got to know (Shea, Amber, Stas primarily) which gave the fans a love story to root for and a side to choose.

And then - he blew all that up, chose a girl nobody knew and who wasn't pandering to them or kissing their asses for their approval, silently told them all to fuck themselves when they vocalized their disapproval, and completely removed the free and unfettered access and influence they've had over him all these years.

He gave them the shiniest toy in the world, for YEARS, and then snatched it back and locked it away in a safe and threw away the key.

They lost their sad boi poet. They lost their ken doll who spent his whole life trying to please them and sought their validation over all others. AND their lost their otp. All in one go.

He pissed in their birthday cakes lol.

They love him cause they've been obsessively in love with him for years because he was relatable, he was the perfect fantasy "I can fix him type," he did value them and their opinions and, to be quite honest - they could bully and harrass him and take all their anger out on him to their hearts' content and he'd flop over and take it. He'd apologize, beg for forgiveness, change whatever it was they wanted him to change...he was a fucking doormat.

And he had enough. HE had enough. It had nothing to do with Malia - he said himself that he has had breakdowns about social media and they way they treat him and that he had to make the decision to pull back for his own mental health. He said that before Malia was ever in the picture.

But nevertheless, he pulled back and shortly after, she appeared. And because it's always more fun to blame the girl than the boy, she gets a fuck ton of hate for basically nothing.

But because Colby is a malfunctioning toy that is no longer living up to their standards of him, he's getting plenty of shit flung his way as well.

This is why Sam has always had the right idea by keeping a healthy wall up between fans and their access to him. Colby is learning right now what being that accessible can do to you when it turns sideways.