#which i should probably make an actual map of by now

[arolesbianism]

I've just been playing the new cotl update for most of the day and I'm so so close to being done with the main new story bits I think but it's also past midnight but also I'm so excited idk if I'll be able to sleep but also god damn do I need to sleep

[selvepnea]

Been playing Vampyr lately (not a recommendation)

[thebibliosphere]

Phangs called me out in the most hilarious way.

For years I've been planning on painting the ceiling (or alternatively the wall my bed is put against) like a celestial map as soon as I moved out from the flatshare-from-hell I was in. Three, four years, at least, and before there were vague plans for it, too.

Fast forward to me finally moving at the end of last month and thinking 'Huh but what if I ever need to move again, I can't take a wall with me', and 'Knowing myself I'll end up with a half painted ceiling when I inevitably run out of steam halfway through' so I decided instead of painting it, I would find dark blue curtains to embroider the celestial map onto which I would then pin to the ceiling; for ease of transport should it ever become necessary. You know, because painting a ceiling wouldn't have been tedious and finnicky enough.

After moving, I also miraculously regained the ability to actually sit down and read, so I picked a book, sat down, read it cover to back, and only then got up again. Imagine my surprise when a certain vampire in the story'd had the exact same idea as me, only with the certainty that paint would be a viable option due to longterm tenancy. I may have yelled in delighted outrage.

And yes, I have unmedicated ADHD. (Vlad is mine to protect now. Would have been, anyway, but now it's personal.)

Lmao, this is so funny. Uh, sorry not sorry? If it makes you feel any better, I was absolutely calling myself out with that segment.

Vlad’s desk might contain centuries of unfinished projections and fluctuating hyperfixations but I’ve probably got him beat 🤣

[screamting]

Holding two concepts in my head at once rn:

Premise: that modern batman should explore Bruce Wayne as a tech bro billionaire. Yes, Waynetech successful and well established by his well to do parents, but not actually exploding until billionaire genius Bruce Wayne returns from his sabbatical from college (several years MIA) with his wowzers little invention that will revolutionize the world and put Gotham on the map for... different reasons!

The duality I am holding is both that even though Bruce does have to be smart enough to make gadgets on his own, it would be very funny if his invention was actually something known already but exclusively in the darkest belly of the criminal underworld, and now there are major crime syndicates all over the world watching as world's most oblivious himbo Brucie markets (for example) lazarus revitalizing muscle ointment! Fixes aches and pains in a jiffy! Toxic at levels exceeding 50ppm.

Which reminded me that, canonically, Bruce probably knows multiple people as Bruce Wayne who helped train him in 5k martial arts practices and guides to poison, who know him as a focused and vengeful student who wouldn't take no for an answer, and one day he pops up on TV like "hi everybody :) nice to be here at the puppy and poppy drive for the people in our community who use medical marijuana and service dogs to manage every day" and for a moment wonder if they should look up the symptoms of memory problems

[queen-of-the-avengers]

Not All Bad

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~3k

Warnings: smut, sexual tension, car chase

Summary: You and Bucky are called out for a mission involving a very powerful and very dangerous nuclear bomb. The thing is, you two hate each other yet you two are the best for the job. Tensions skyrocket when you have to get closer than normal in order to make a safe getaway.

Squares Filled: adventurers/explorers (2021) for @buckybarnesbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are greatly appreciated <3

x

You know why you’re going on this mission. You know why Bucky is going on this mission. You don’t know why you’re going together. You don’t care what Bucky has done or is capable of, you can’t stand the man. He’s quiet and minds his own business but you two clash every time you’re around each other. 

You’re normally a mellow person but there is something about Bucky that makes you want to commit violence. You two are very competitive against each other, you’re always trying to outdo the other, and you’re always bickering. You think you’re always right and Bucky thinks he’s always right. You don’t like his attitude because when he’s not being quiet, he’s cocky and arrogant like an old man is. The same thing could be said about you, but you’re not as bad as he is. The other Avengers have put your bedrooms on the opposite side of the compound so they wouldn't have to hear you two.

This mission is quite simple: get in, grab a nuclear bomb, and get the fuck out. That’s easy for you because you’re a shapeshifter who can shift into anyone just by looking at them, and that power has gotten you into every sketchy situation that the Avengers have thrown you in. Normally, you pair up with Steve because he has the super strength but he’s on another mission right now.

The only one who has his level of strength is Bucky. Plus, his vibranium arm is a major advantage for you both.

Shadow Corps stole a nuclear bomb from Russia and smuggled it into the States. The government wants you to grab it before they can use it. Whether or not the Accords were passed, you were still gonna take this case because no bomb should ever be put on American soil. After getting the bomb, the next team which includes Clint, Natasha, and Sam, will go in and arrest as many as they can.

The getaway car is waiting in position on the other side of the warehouse in Tony’s stealth mode. It will only activate when you and Bucky get close to it. There are bracelets that you two are wearing in order for the car to scan. The place is crawling with heavily armed guards with probably twice that inside. You have to do this quietly.

“Wait here. I‘ve got this,” you smirk.

Bucky growls lowly but does as he’s told. He knows his way will only end up with blood soaking everything. You’ve done some recon for Shadow Corps in the past, so you’ve seen what the big boss looks like. With ease, you transform into the big burly man and walk down the small hill toward the only entrance. The guard posted there stands up straight when he sees you walking toward him. Good. This man you’re impersonating demands respect.

“Sir,” the guard nods once.

“I need the bomb to be moved now. Someone tipped the police off. Get everything ready for transport. Go tell the others.”

“Sir--”

“Do I strike you as a man who likes to be repeated? Go, now.”

“Yes, sir.”

The guard scurries off to presumably tell the others. Once he is gone from ear and eyeshot, you turn to Bucky and give him a thumbs up. Bucky comes out of the shadows as you turn back into yourself.

“You’re welcome for making your job easier,” you grin.

“Bite me,” he growls.

You follow Bucky inside and keep your eyes peeled for any guards who might be coming your way. Tony provided a map he got from Friday, so you’re using that to get to the bomb the quickest way. This mission is all about time. You have to be fast. When word gets back to the actual boss, he won’t be happy that they’re moving the bomb. Luckily for you, he’s in another state doing business.

You turn the corner onto a straight and narrow hallway. The only way to get out of the hallway is either to go back the way you came or through the door on the other side of the hallway. You take two steps when the door on the other end is being pushed open. You turn to run the other way when you hear voices around the corner. If you don’t do something now, you’ll be caught and probably killed.

You can get out of this. Bucky can’t. As much as he irritates you, you kind of need him. There is a supply closet to your right that you’ll have to squeeze into if you want to make sure this mission is a success. You yank the door open and shove Bucky inside before sliding in yourself. The door barely closes when both parties on either side of the hallway come into view.

The closet is small enough as it is for the supplies in there, but it’s claustrophobic with you and Bucky. He’s too large of a man for you to fit comfortably. Your chest is pressed against his chest so you can either focus on the feel of his body against yours or you can focus on his eyes. You look up to see him already looking down at you.

You’re an idiot if you don’t admit there is some sort of attraction between you two. You know there is. You can’t do anything about it. Not only would that probably create problems for either of you, but it would only fuel his ego.

You can’t have that.

The closet is dark enough so you hope that he doesn’t notice you looking at his lips. As soon as your eyes lock onto his mouth, he licks his lips slowly. He’s the subject of your dirty dreams and now all you’ll be thinking about is his tongue.

“The coast is clear.”

Bucky opens the door and slips out with ease. You let out the breath you didn’t know you were holding and force your breathing to return to normal. You follow Bucky down the hallway and to the room where the bomb is being held. There are no guards around because they think this place is so secure that they don’t need to guard the one thing people can’t steal. Not that they could if they wanted to. There are so many guards here that it would scare the average person.

“Okay, you’re up,” you say.

As much as you’d like to be, he’s the muscle.

“Just be a good girl and make sure no one comes in while I do the heavy lifting.”

You roll your eyes but do as you’re told. You stay by the door and listen for anyone who might be coming. Bucky approaches the bomb and studies the best way to handle the device. For something that packs a massive punch, it’s not that big. Tony crafted a container that could hold something this powerful, so the only thing Bucky has to worry about is transferring it without setting it off.

You look out the small window on the door and see a big guard with an even bigger gun coming your way.

“Bucky, someone is coming.”

“I’m kind of busy at the moment. Take care of it.”

You transform back into the bossman and step out of the room. The guard stops walking and becomes ashen when he sees you.

“Boss.”

“What the hell are you doing here? Do I pay you to wander around? Do you have a brain inside that thick head of yours?”

“Sorry, sir, but--”

“But nothing. Do I have to do everything myself around here?”

“Sir, the cars are ready for transport. I was on my way to secure the package.”

“What about everything else we have here?”

“We’re having trouble securing some of the product in such a short time. I figured we should get the bomb out as soon as possible.”

You step closer to the guard and he does the smart thing and backs up in fear.

“If I have to leave here and do your job, I’ll have to call your wife and let her know you’re not coming home. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good. Get everything packed up now. We will get this bomb out when it’s time. I need everything out of here.”

“Yes, sir.”

The guard leaves and you slip back into the room as yourself.

“Okay, I’m ready to pack it.”

Bucky carefully lifts the bomb and places it into the open container on the ground. He closes and locks the case knowing the wires in there will keep the bomb from moving. Bucky picks up the heavy case and allows you to leave the way to the car. As soon as the car senses both of your bracelets, it shimmers into view, and you unlock the trunk. This car was made specially to carry bombs such as the nuclear kind. It has a lead lining so that scanners won’t be able to pick it up, and the traction on the car is durable so if you hit a pothole or go over a bomb, the car won’t shake or move.

“Hey!” You and Bucky look behind you and see two guards running at you with radios to their mouths. Shit, you’ve been made. “Stop right here!”

“We gotta go.” The alarms sound throughout the facility and red lights flash brightly. “Just shove it in there!”

Bucky carefully puts the bomb in the trunk and you slam it shut before hopping into the passenger seat. As soon as Bucky is in the car, he starts her up and peels out of the place. Three cars immediately start chasing after you, and you look behind you to see how close they are.

“Looks like I’m not the only one who hates you. You’re insufferable to everyone,” you smile sweetly.

Bucky makes a sharp turn which causes you to grab onto the “oh shit” bar.

“Don’t act so innocent, Doll. They’re after you, too. I guess we’re both insufferable.” He looks in the rearview mirror and sees them getting closer. “Do something!”

You unbuckle your seat belt and roll the window down all the way. Before Bucky can question what you’re doing, you heave yourself out the window so that you’re sitting on the frame. You have the seatbelt clutched into your hand so that you have an anchor point, and you aim your gun at the cars. You shoot twice and run one of the cars off the road. Their tires blow and they go crashing into the tree.

“You might want to try the sunroof. It might be easier,” Bucky says.

“Now you tell me,” you roll your eyes.

Two guards start shooting at you, and you quickly duck inside to avoid being hit. Bucky opens the sunroof and points to his gun in the backseat.

“Try mine on for size. It’s bigger than yours,” he smirks.

“That’s the only time you’ll ever be able to tell a girl that.” You grab his gun and make sure it’s loaded with a few hundred rounds. It’s a machine gun so once you hit that trigger, dozens of rounds come out at once. You’re about to stand when the car jerks to the right. The second car in line has hit your car, and you almost went through the open window. “Try not to kill us, will you?”

“Shut up.”

You stand through the open sunroof and aim the machine gun at the second car. They don’t even have a chance. You fire dozens of rounds at the car and shatter their windshield. The car jerks so hard that the car flips twice before skidding to a stop.

“One to go!”

The last car has taken a different route instead of staying right behind you. Instead, they are zooming through the trees which makes it hard for you to get a shot from where you are. They are gaining speed and if you don’t do something soon, they are going to ram their car into the side of yours.

“Okay, new plan.” You duck back inside and look at Bucky with a sigh. “I’m gonna need you to trust me on this one.”

“I don’t.”

“Too bad. Just make sure we don’t crash.” You toss Bucky’s gun into the back seat and grab your much smaller one since it’ll be easier to use it with your plan. With light difficulty, you hop over the center console and right into Bucky’s lap. You’re facing him and his shocked eyes meet yours briefly. “I know you’re enjoying this but eyes on the road, Barnes.”

You roll down his window and aim your gun at the car that’s heading right your way. Bucky wraps an arm around your waist to keep you steady and presses on the gas. You aim at the tires and blow one of them but that doesn’t stop the car from barreling right at you. You empty your entire magazine and manage to shoot right through the windshield and into the driver’s head.

Bucky speeds up so that the car doesn’t crash into you. Instead, it smashes into the tree on the other side of the road. You sigh in relief and look at Bucky who is looking between you and the road. It’s like you’re back in the closet with him. Tension is high and adrenaline is coursing through your veins.

You can feel the tension on your inner thigh.

“That better be a gun in your pocket.”

“Nope,” he smirks. You roll your eyes but he’s done putting up with your shit. “Cut the attitude before I give you a reason to roll your eyes.” You shift to get off his lap but the arm that’s wrapped around your waist tightens. “Don’t move.” He drives like that for ten minutes before pulling over knowing they’re not following you two anymore. He leans his head back and stares into your eyes, allowing the tension to grow. “Fuck it.”

Bucky grabs both sides of your face and pulls you into him so he can kiss you. The second his lips touch yours, it’s game over. He growls when you grind your hips down on his either in frustration that you’re getting his cock hard or in lust for the exact same reason. He reaches to the side of the seat and pulls on the level that puts the seat back even though he pretty much has it all the way back. You reach over and pull the lever that lays the seat back, and he moves his hands down to your hips to grip you hard.

Even without that vibranium arm, his fingers will leave bruises on your skin for you to admire later.

You kiss down his jaw and to his neck where you nip at his skin, hard enough to leave behind marks. This between you two has been a long time coming so Bucky doesn’t want to waste any time with you right now. He pulls you back up to his lips and kisses you while snaking his hands down to between your legs. With an effortless tug, he rips your pants in half at the seam.

“What the fuck?” you mutter and pull away from him. “Your cock is so desperate to get wet that you couldn’t wait for me to take off my pants?”

“Shut the fuck up,” he says and pulls you back to his mouth.

You reach down and undo the button and zipper of his jeans before reaching in and gripping his cock with one hand. God, he’s so big that your entire hand can’t fit all the way around him. Good thing you’re a shapeshifter and can stretch as needed. It also means you can make it as tight as you want.

You pull it out and pump twice before moving your panties to the side. You position him right below your entrance and only slide the tip in. Bucky slams the back of his head against the seat in frustration but you’re not gonna make this easy on him. Unfortunately for you, Bucky is a lot stronger than you. He braces his feet on the floorboard and thrusts up while pulling you down on him. You don’t even have time to react because he’s filling you up deeper than you thought possible.

“Fuck!” you gasp and brace yourself with one hand on the seat by his head.

He starts with a ruthless pace, pounding up into you like his life depends on it. The car immediately fogs over at the increasing tension, and you slam your hand on the window which leaves behind an imprint.

“God, you’re such a good girl taking all of me. You’re so tight.”

“I can go tighter,” you smirk.

You lean down and kiss Bucky sloppily while he reaches down and slides his hand into your pants so he can thumb your clit. That plus the angle in which he’s thrusting is enough to push you closer to the edge. You know you’re close when the pressure is increasing, and you start to clench around him to show him you’re getting there.

“Awe, does my Doll want to come?”

“Mmhmm,” you whimper.

“Not yet.”

“Please, Bucky.”

“I said no.” He reaches up and grips your throat with his flesh hand. He slows down his thrusting only to go deeper. “Fuck, I’m close.”

“Then come.”

“You first,” he grins. “Come for me.”

Bucky rubs your clit in hard circles and that’s enough to push you over the edge. You gasp and moan as the waves of pleasure rush over your entire body. Your pussy spasms and clenches his cock, and he moans as he shoots his load into you. He thrusts a few times to ride out your high before relaxing into the seat.

“Fuck, you’re good at this,” you chuckle tiredly.

“Just wait until you see what I’m like in a bed,” he smirks. “Let’s go home so I can worship you properly.”

“Lead the way,” you smirk and move off him.

Well, Bucky’s good for one thing. He’s not that insufferable.

x

Want to be tagged? Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[blondejellykitty]

₊♡ ˚⊹ strangers in the woods ₊♡ ˚⊹

୨୧ toby rogers x reader ୨୧ When walking alone in the woods, off the beaten track a stranger makes himself known. intruders in the cabin (part two) a/n: (1.3k words, requested by @tychos-huzband) first request so I hope you enjoy!

Life sometimes sucks. It's true, it's something not everyone wants to admit but everyone feels it. Life can really suck at times. But right now? Right now it was feeling pretty damn shitty.

The day before was your last day of work. Your boss, a short egotistical man that you'd graciously put up with for three long years, decided to fire you. 

Not because you'd used your sick days when your only family member had died last year, not because you were late to your shift one time when your ex had smashed your car up, not even because of the time you'd yelled at a customer for putting his slimy hands on you. 

No, it was because he'd hired 'one too many lazy girls'. The sexist pig didn't seem to care when the guys on shift would slack off let alone steal cigarettes on their closing shift but when you forgot to stock one set of drinks that morning. Bam, that was it. No warning or anything just a ‘you’re fired, goodbye’.

When life got as bad as this, sometimes you needed to just get away from it all even just for a day. So you did.

You used what little you had left of your last pay and bought two bus tickets, to the end of their route and back. The trip itself wasn't all that exciting. The old bus was so cramped you had to awkwardly shift on your seat so your legs could fit. 

You spent the whole time looking at the busted bus door wondering if this bump would be the one where it finally fell off.

You had been the only one on the bus for a while before the final stop finally appeared in view.

With a creaking stop, you were free of the shitty blue bus. Around you was nothing but forest, clearly far away from the concrete jail of a city you'd come from.

Across the dirt road were five small shops two of which were boarded and closed, the other three had seen better days. On your side of the road was a wooden trail map and a small bridge leading further into the woods. Perfect.

You'd been on the trail years prior, only once with your friend who said he'd known a spot. He was right, once you'd both reached the top of the trail it was a beautiful view, up on a hill looking out over the small town, if you could even call it that.

He was a good friend, one of your only friends actually. He'd been sent away not long after that trip. The doctor said he wasn't right and needed help to get better, though you never saw him again. 

You'd been meaning for a long time to come back to this trail, it did always remind you of him. But that's not what you're here for today. 

You're here to forget, not to reminisce.

After walking for a good while you halted on the dirt trail. Picking a random direction you walked off the trail to follow your own path. As long as you kept going one way, you could just turn back around and go back the way you came.

It was much better off the trail, the forest felt more natural. Being able to let your thoughts float away and focus on your rugged path instead.

The feeling of the sunlight through the leaves in the tall trees flickering on your face seemed to leave you in a trance. Losing all track of time, for once you weren't worrying about where you should be or what you could be doing.

A faint crack and a crunch of leaves pulled you from your gaze on the forest floor. Pausing in your tracks you scan the area around you, squinting your eyes as if that would help, searching for the source of the odd noise.

Regardless you kept moving, after all there was probably more wildlife the further you got away from the track. Continuing on your walk until suddenly you hear it again. A crack and a crunch.

You could almost feel your ears hurt from the strain you put on them to focus on every little sound. 

Ruffling of trees against each other, birds chirping and flapping away, distant leaves crunching like audible footprints, a crack that sounded like when you crack your knuckles except this was much louder.

Just your luck, go on a nice relaxing walk to get away from people and assholes of the world. And along the way boom, people and potential assholes. Great, wonderful even.

You decided against your better judgement to be like every character in a horror movie and yell out, because if they were out here, they were probably here for you. No one else would be reckless enough to go this far out.

"If you're gonna kill me, at least have some manners and don't be a coward about it!" You yelled out causing birds to scatter into the skies, you twisted on your heel in a circle trying to get a view from all directions.

Crunch, another footstep much closer this time. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to call them a coward, might've just made them mad.

"Uh, not a coward and not gonna kill you either. Just wanna know why you're out here?" The stuttering voice almost scared you to death, you had enough self preservation to not scream.

A few paces in front of you stood what looked like a guy around your age, wearing worn down black sneakers, slightly muddy black jeans, a faded blue hoodie with a clean oversized brown jacket over the top.

The strangest part of his appearance wasn't his fingerless gloves in the middle of summer but a large hospital looking bandage that covered part of his cheek.

You felt your eyebrows furrow in caution.

"Why're you out here?" The sass laid on thick, you could feel the tension in your shoulders building as every second passed.

He let out a strange mix between a giggle and a scoff.

"I live here. Obviously, where else would I be out here? Hm?" The condescending tone in his voice made you wonder if the murderer in the woods was goin to be you instead.

"What? You live in the woods? You do know that the next town over has a homeless shelter right? I can literally take you there" Only if you stop being a prick.

"Wha- No. I have a home you fucking worm! One which you're about to trespass on which won't go too well for you, so my question is still unanswered. Why. are. you. here?"

Embarrassingly you were open mouthed like a fish right now.

"Well, I was on a trail, must've gotten lost on it." Half truth, please get me out of this.

His face really said it all. His brown eyes squinted in disbelief and his pale lips pulled into a sort of smirking snarl.

"You do realize how far away that stupid trail is, you must've been walking what? All day?"

You felt yourself nod meekly, which was not a way you'd usually describe yourself as being.

With a sigh he looked to the sun. He kept fighting with something in his hoodie pocket which did absolutely nothing to ease your nerves.

"It's going to get dark soon and there's no way you'd make it all the way back to the track in time even if you ran. So I can drive you back to the entrance in the morning, c'mon" He turned around and started walking without even looking back.

No way you'd make it all the way back, even if you ran. Totally not fucking ominous and threating at all but sure I'd just love to spend the night with you random stranger, sure all of this is totally cool.

With a groan and a stomp to the ground beneath you, you jogged over to him and began the walk further into the forest.

[anomaly-hivemind]

Permanent ☆ Trafalgar Law x Reader | Kinktober Day 1

 Summary: you’ve been consistently getting tattooed by Law and he’s oh so attractive, today’s the day you make your move. 

Word Count: 2902

Tags: vaginal fingering,  mutual pining, finger sucking, workplace inappropriate, squirting, light degradation, oral (male and female receiving), tit sucking, reader has various piercings.

It is time to get yet another tattoo,  on your upper thigh which you have been planning to get for at least a few months now. You had called your favorite artist a whole two weeks in advance so you would have the best appointment slot. You knew that this specific tattoo would take a long time,  probably most of his shift and you may or may not plan to take as many breaks as needed so you can have plenty of time to talk to the sexy worker you had gotten to know over the few years of getting tattoos.    

You had schemed beforehand as you picked a nice but sexy underwear and bra set, a pair of sweatpants that were pretty loose-fitting, and a black crop top for extra flare.  All you had to do now was catch his attention more than that of a regular client and you had all of your getting to the shop to come up with that plan.  

You walked into the shop and smiled softly when you saw it was nice and empty;  you sat patiently in the lobby until you saw him.  You get up and smile at him, while subtly looking him up and down, looking at the many visible tattoos on his arms and hands that showed from his short sleeve shirt. You didn’t notice how long you were staring because he clears his throat as a silent way of telling you to stop looking at him so hard, before walking away. This wasn’t the first time this had happened.  

Your face grew hot as you followed after him into the back room that you had gotten to know pretty well.  He closes the door after you walk into the room and sit down.  He was watching you with tired eyes. 

“You got everything…” You asked a bit awkwardly. 

“Of course, I do,” He put on a pair of gloves and sprayed down the metal tray table before he started to unpack some of the tools. He looked at you expectantly waiting for you.

“What?”  You gave him a knowing smile, you wanted him to say it out loud. 

“Take your pants off, you should know these things already…”

“Buy me dinner before you ask me to strip” You hold back a chuckle before doing so and fold them up on the chair on the wall, making sure to sway your hips a bit when you do.  When you look back at him he was definitely taking a peak at the panties you were wearing.  

 “Shush.”  He rolls his eyes and grips your thigh roughly,  the cool air against your bare skin causes goosebumps to form on your legs, and his hands so high up on your thigh make a shiver go down your spine. He carefully wets your skin then starts to shave the little hair you have there at the moment,  then cleans your skin with an alcohol wipe.  

Your leg tensed as he pressed the transfer paper to your leg and his hands traveled over the large space.  He made sure the stencil was tight and flat on the fat of your thigh, he was focused on getting the image to transfer.  

His large… strong… hands. 

… rubbing your upper thigh…

“Y/N-ya you’re tense,” He said,  as he pulled the wet paper from your skin, and walked to dispose of it.

“O-oh sorry,” You stutter out trying to calm yourself.

“I don’t know why you’re so nervous, it’s not going to be nearly as painful as your spine tattoo,” He said. Little did he know your nervousness wasn’t from the tattoo you’d soon be receiving but the fact that you couldn’t stop thinking about his hands groping and caressing all over your body. He takes the needles out of the packaging, sets up his pen and gets ready to map and outline the tattoo. 

“Ready?” You nodded and squeezed your hands together as he started the machine. You were actually a little nervous now, you weren’t all that sure why, you had countless tattoos, as Law mentioned earlier some much more painful than others. The needle made contact with your skin and you were met with the usual hot prickly sensation. He started to fill in the parts of the tattoo slowly and made sure to get the small details its proper texture.  

You both sit there in dead silence, aside from the faint music that plays in the lobby. The fact that you both were not saying anything was going to drive you up the wall so you decided to break that silence and speak. 

“So not to like to distract you or anything but could you distract me… you know, so I can, um, not notice the pain.” You stammer on your words as you try to set your plan in motion. 

“Sure what do you wanna talk about?” From there you began talking about any and everything, food, future tattoos, shows, blah, blah, etcetera, etcetera.

“... and that’s why we broke up,” you said, finishing off the sordid tale of your previous relationship. “So… are you in a relationship or something?”

“Nah, I’ve been single for a while,” He answered and you internally cheered, perfect timing for you to make your move, you took it as a sign from the universe to strike.

“So um, what’s something you’ve always wanted to do?” You asked quickly.  Law was silent for a moment as he traced over the inner lines of your tattoo.

“I guess, I’ve always wanted to have a pet polar bear.” He said it like it was some casual statement.  It took you off guard if you were being honest.

“Why a polar bear?”  you raised an eyebrow and he just shrugged not actually knowing why he wanted that.  

“Okay you can take a little break, all that’s left is the shading. Law said getting up and taking a drink from his water bottle.

“You wanna know something I’ve always wanted to know?” You asked, taking a deep breath as you summoned all your courage.“ I’ve always wanted to hook up with a tattoo artist, in the chair,” You bit your lip nervously, almost afraid to look at the man so you don’t.

Law let out a laugh, “That’s kinda kinky Y/N-ya,” 

“Haha, yeah I guess so…”  Damn you thought. Abort mission, I repeat ABORT MISSION!

“But I guess at the same time it sounds kinda hot,” He said, making eye contact with you and your heart skipped a beat. You blink a couple of times as if that was going to help you hear what he said better. 

“You think so?” That means he's downright… and you should ask if he’s down because all the signs are pointing to you asking him. Your brain was yelling at you to make the move for your lustful dreams to come true. 

“I mean, yeah, from my perspective, I can’t say I haven’t thought about how hot a client was,” he said, coming back over to you.  “Pinning them up against the chair, and tasting their pretty skin… especially if they have a tattoo on their neck-shoulder area” he whispered, his hot breath tickling your ear, and the tattooed skin of your neck-shoulder. His warm, soft lips pressed to your skin, trailing down to the dip in your shoulder.

“Is this a part of your fantasy?”

“Definitely, this and then some more,”  you whispered.  Law’s hands trail up your body, coming up under your shirt and grasping your breast. You inhaled slightly as he began to knead your tits while kissing and sucking your neck. 

“A-ah.. Law,” You whimpered softly as you enjoyed his touch, melting into his will as he took your top off.   Not much of a second later he took off your bra, casting it to the side along with your shirt.

“Ever since I did these I’ve wanted to suck on your tits, they’re so perfect,” he said, his lips coming around your hypersensitive pierced nipples.  He gave it a preliminary suck before taking in more of your breast, you let out a breathy moan as his tongue wrapped around your areola and his tongue piercing teased your erect buds.

A shiver runs up your body as you watch him, switch between your nipples, making sure each one gets a fair amount of attention.  His yellow eyes locked on to your face as he showed off his tongue, causing you to wonder how good it would feel just a bit lower. 

Law’s hand came up to your opposite breast, his fingers rolled and teased your nipple. His other hand drifted down to rest upon your mound. His fingers traveled to the underside where there was significant wetness.

He let out a Low chuckle after pulling his mouth away from your breast. His fingers teased your clothed entrance.

“So wet and over your panties as well,” Law said, smirking up at you. He gives the seam of your panties a quick tug off your skin.  

“Well, I told you this was something I fantasize about…” you whispered,  leaning your head on his shoulder. You feel like you're dreaming and at any moment it'll all be over, so you gotta make the most of it and try to tease him back and make him feel what you're feeling.

You snaked one of your hands and reached for his pants and you zipped them down. Law straightened up as you leaned forward to lower his pants and boxers. His erect cock  sprang forth, bobbing in the air in front of you. You readily wrapped your hands around him and took his tip into your mouth.  He let out a hiss as your tongue wrapped around his tip. 

 You eased him into your mouth, your cheeks hollowing around Law’s shaft. You worked your way down his length nice and slow,  and Law’s fingers came to rest against your head. 

“You seem pretty eager, didn’t know you were such a slut, Y/N-ya,”  Law said lowly, as he pushed your head forward. You gagged a bit as his length slid its way down your mouth.  You swallow the dripping saliva forming in your mouth, doing so elicits a groan from him. 

“F-fuck,”  His head lolled back, and he closed his eyes.  You bobbed your hand along his cock, swirling around the head.  You took his dick out of your mouth to pepper kisses along the tip and shaft your hands stroking him gently. You pressed a kiss to his warm, heavy balls and began sucking on those too. 

You were on a mission, pleasing the man in front of you, in hopes that you'll get to do this kinda thing again sometime.  You wouldn't mind slurping the soul out of Law. Might even get a discount on your tattoo. 

Switching back to gobbling his cock, you could tell he was starting to get close by the way his breath hitched and his balls heaved a bit. He began to rut into your mouth and you let out a little moan. His hips thrusts became jagged as hot ropes of cum landed on your tongue, you pulled away and the rest landed on your face.

He began to loosen up as he calmed down from his peak.  Then he moved to grab one of the paper towels to help clean his liquids off your face.  At first, you thought that was it and that you both were getting ready to stop and go back to the tattoo.

“Sit down” he tells you what to do and you put up no fight and do what he says. His fingers curled around the band of your panties and you lifted up off the seat so he could slip them down all the way, careful not to touch the fresh unfinished tattoo. 

As he bent down to come face to face with your uncovered pussy you felt a little self-conscious. 

“No point being nervous now, I  know you put those whorrish panties on for me. Now spread those legs.” Law said, pushing your legs apart. His fingers ran up and down your slit, slipping between your folds with ease.

“God, you’re such a fuckin’ slut. I bet you were wet before you even got here, just imagining the things you wanted me to do to you.”  Law’s breath tickled, and you could feel yourself clench around nothing.

You let out a soft whimper as Law licked a stripe up your cunt, his tongue piercing stimulating your clit. Your hips jolted forward at the pleasure and you couldn’t help what noises escaped your mouth. He began sucking and teasing your clit, his tongue making circles around your sensitive bud.

You run a hand into his messy hair, gripping his locks tightly and trying to find a way to pull him forward. You wanted more, in fact, you needed it as soon as possible. 

“Please… “ you whined as you looked deep into the eyes staring back at you.  He looked half lost on the sauce but he definitely heard your plea loud and clear.  He was drinking your juices with such fervor that you never wanted it to end.  He licked his lips before slightly pulling away to speak. 

“Please what? Use your words and ask for what you want,” you could feel his warm breath fanning your cool pussy as he spoke. 

You swallow back a whimper before speaking and blush. “P-please, use your fingers, please touch my pussy,” you looked away from his burning gaze for a moment. 

“See things are so much clearer when you use your words,” he places a few kisses over your clit that then turns sucking on it lightly. He used one hand to keep your leg open and his shoulder to keep you from closing your legs. 

He lazily slides his tongue up and down your folds and he takes his free hand and pushes the first finger in.  You could already feel your toes clench from the way his mouth has been all on you and now he was starting to reach the deeper spots with his fingers. 

He adds a second finger in and starts to thrust his hand out of your cunt.  He started off slow, making sure to angle his wrist every time he pushed into you.  

Keeping a steady pace, his fingers every once in a while curling up to tease your pleasure points. You melt into his hand movements, trying to will yourself hold still and not fuck yourself on his hand like a dog in heat.  You were soaking, giving his fingers little resistance when he decided to go faster. 

He was practically finger fucking you with his long slender fingers. He was watching you attentively as he pleasured you and best in the sounds and look you had he was doing plenty correct.

Law sat up and went back to slurping on your breast. You jump up a bit. His fingers hit your g-spot and his thumb rubbed your clit in just the right way. It was getting too much, you could feel your climax reaching.  Your legs began to quiver. 

“That's it, let go for me”  he bites on the fat of one of your breasts, leaving a mark then switching to your pierced nipple. 

“Oh shit!” You hissed as you felt your walls clench around his fingers.  You fall back on the chair and he puts his focus on making you cum with his fingers. You closed your eyes as you felt the heat start to hit you. 

Closing your eyes, you let out a choked moan, that Law quickly covers with his unoccupied hand.  Your body convulse as you coat Law’s hand in your wetness. You drench the seat as your orgasm turns you into a sprinkler.  Law starts to slow down his fingers before pulling out. When you open your eyes you feel a bit dizzy and like you could go right to sleep.  You look over to Law and look and just watch him. 

He brings his finger to his lips and licks up your juices.  His arm was wet with your slick arousal and he was looking at you with a smirk. Cleaning off his hand with his mouth almost made you want to do it all again. But maybe some recovery time would be the smarter thing to do. 

“Didn't take you as a squirter.” he grabs a towel from the back to clean you off. Then he cleaned everything else that was in the splash zone. 

“It's like fifty/fifty of it happening for me,” you said breathlessly with an attempt to laugh. 

“Guess I got lucky,” he shrugged and put his boxers back on. 

“Maybe some other time you can get even luckier,” you almost snorted your way into embarrassment. Law lets out a chuckle and puts his pants back on. 

“Oh yeah?” He puts a new pair of gloves on and you get up to grab your top, bra, and underwear. 

“You technically have my number already so yes.” You get ready to put your clothes back on but he stops you. 

“Stay like that for a bit.” You weren't sure if he was even asking but you dropped your clothes back down in the other chair anyway. 

“Do I get a discount for this then?”  you gesture to the tattoo he was getting ready to go back and continue.

“...maybe.”

[iheartmapi]

Norwegian Holiday

Ingrid Engen x Reader

Summary: For the first time, you and your girlfriend go on holiday to her country.

Fluff.

TW: none expect probably kinda shitty depiction of Norwegian culture (I’ve never been there don’t @ me)

Word count: 968

“The charm’s hidden in the small towns, kjæreste”

The brunette beside you remarked as your train slowly approached it’s destination.

“Well, I’m gonna have to trust you on this one, Ing…”

As the vehicle came to a stop the two of you raised from your seats and gathered your bags, there wasn’t a lot of commotion, after all why should there be when you picked out a tiny town to visit…but well you were enthusiastic about this holiday anyways. Ingrid lead you, though she haven’t been here before she could actually read the signs you passed by.

You fished out your phone from your bag, “Uh babe we rented the hotel on your phone right?” She turned to look at you, as the two of you managed to navigate into one of the towns streets, “I think so, let me check, can you get my phone for me?” You listened and then started the tumultuous act of searching for Ingrid’s phone in your guy’s travel bag, finally you handed the mobile to her.

As Ingrid searched for the reservation, or rather the hotels name so that google maps could help you out, you stood by her, observing the buildings that littered the street, and the might mountains that surrounded the town…this place was almost like a very cozy fairytale “Aha!” Ingrid beamed, were supposed to gooooo…” she turned and turned before pointing in the correct way “We’re supposed to go there” the brunette took hold of your arm and lead the way “So hasty..” you chuckled, “We’ve got no time to lose!” Ingrid beamed.

Thankfully, you didn’t get lost and got to register at the hotel, your rooms were nice, the mattress was the perfect balance between hard and soft, and the decor? Well there wasn’t really much to say about it, it was regular, kind of genderless and beige really.

Of course the moment everything was checked off the two of you got dressed and left the hotel to go exploring, this time leaving google maps behind to just see the town for yourself.

The first thing you and Ingrid thought was necessary to see, was the town’s square.

From the very middle; there was a nicely carved stone fountain, really just plain space, some benches and then the building that surrounded it…shops, cafes, restaurants the likes. “Stand there, I wanna take your picture, pretty girl” Ingrid smiled, you cheerfully pranced around to pose in front of the fountain for Ingrid’s phone’s lenses, after a couple clicks the two of you continued on strolling around.

“Feeling the Norwegian spirit already?” Ing playfully nudged you, you smirked “Definetily, oh I need to get me some kitschy Viking souvenir!” At that comment she scoffed “So stereotypical of you” you just winked at your girlfriend and said “Whatever you say, Viking lady” to which she just nudged you again and you laughed.

Trying Norwegian food was a must have on your list, so not too soon after you made your way to a restaurant, your eyes skimmed across the menu, trying to pronounce the foreign to you words as Ingrid had a laughing fit at your butchered words.

Then with some help from Ingrid you chose a dish called “Kjøttkaker med brunsaus”, a seemingly simple recipe. The waiter soon brought your orders to the table and left you to live this delicious moment.

You stick your fork into the meat on the plate and took a dramatic breath “Here goes nothing…” you munched on the meat cakes, wanting to savour the taste..after a moment of thoughtfulness you decided on “This is quite good actually”

Ingrid’s mouth curved upwards “I’m happy you like it” before continuing on eating her own meal, “You’ll have to make this for me when we get back home, Ingy!” You remarked joyfully, “Alright alright” she laughed at your liveliness “Calm your horses and finish eating first”

Towns square, restaurant and now a souvenir shop because you begged Ingrid to see it when you spotted it…you scanned the Viking-y souvenirs, from hats to cups, there were many things to choose from…Ingrid herself paced around the building, observing the assortment of the shop before returning to you, “So?” She asked “You getting anything?” You turned to Ingrid with a comical seriousness “I’m torn between the Viking hat and the Viking cup” Ingrid raised an eyebrow “I’m assuming you’re expectantly waiting for me to say you can get both?” You nodded “There’s no limit for what you want babe, if you want it buy it” you reached for the “viking” hat and put it on your head “I was afraid the amount of kitsch I wanted would annoy you” Ingrid just rolled her eyes and patted your now covered head “It’s you, I couldn’t get mad even if I wanted to.”

So you bought the things you wanted, put them in your bag for walking around and went on with your exploration of the small town. The rest was really just you two appreciating the views and architecture, or entering places you thought looked interesting..

The day flowed smoothly and soon you found yourself sitting on a bench with a view of the lake by the town, waffles in your and Ingrid’s hands.

“This is like…so pretty it’s crazy” you said as you munched on your waffle

“Chew before you speak babe…” Ingrid sighed at your childishness (but with a smile on her face)

“fine fine!” You finished the piece and swallowed “Now as I said, the views are crazy here”

“I’m glad you’re enjoying Norway” your girlfriend smiled even wider, her eyes crinkling “You know I care about your happiness the most”

“Oh don’t you make me blush…” you added “You’re already outshining this landscape” you winked before getting back to devouring your waffle

“You’re such a dummy…”

[sweatervest-obsessed]

Second Chances Are For Winners

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid

WC: 2.7k

TW: Swearing, teasings, blood, abduction, breaking and entering, Criminal Minds General list of triggers apply here.

A/N: Hiya gang! so actually I have been so unmotivated to write and I just got back from vacation so I promise I will finish up VDVE soon. But please enjoy this mouth vomit that Just came out of my mind. It's a part one since the rest of it is mapped out, just not written! (also why is like every other gif his mouth moving. This man really just doesn't stfu and it's only hot on him)

Spencer Reid being overwhelmed was an understatement. He needed to get out of that police station as soon as physically possible. JJ confronting him about his hostility towards her had not gone the way she had hoped it would, and Spencer was once again, fuming. 

The Oklahoma heat was not kind to someone who only wore sweater vests, a fact in which he would later start to reconsider when planning his outfits to places where the heat had personal vendettas against the living. As soon as he stepped outside, it was like he was met with a brick wall of temperatures well over what they should be. As the sweat dripped down his forehead, so did the tension. He took a couple of breaths before picking up the phone and dialing a number he knew all too well. 

“Speak and be heard, Wonder Boy” 

“Hey Garcia,” A small smile formed from hearing the familiar voice. “I need you to look up someone, and find their cell number for me, if that’s okay.”

He could hear Garcia roll across her ‘batcave’, “Hit me.”

“Her name is Y/N Y/L/N…” 

“Give me two seconds…..Isn’t she—” 

“Garcia, please.” 

He could hear the smirk forming across her face as her fingers flew across the keys. 

“You’re looking up more than her number…”

“One point for Boy Genius everybody. Yes, I’m looking up more than just her phone number. She’s the gorgeous mystery woman who kissed your cheek in front of the whole team—of course I’m going to look her up now that I have her name.”

Spencer pinched the bridge of his nose, starting to regret the decision to call Penelope in the first place. “Can you just send me her number and snoop around later Garcia?” 

“Fine Genius.” His phone beeped. “Just sent it to you.” 

“Thank you Penelope.” 

“Anytime Boy Wonder.” Reid hung up the call before looking at the screen, opening the text Garcia had sent him. He smiled at the number, and almost dialed before thinking better of it. Maybe after the case, he’ll call you and take you out for lunch to catch up. But it’s nothing more, Spencer decided. You probably didn’t feel the same way, but at least he knew that there was someone who wasn’t a part of the team in which he could finally vent his frustrations to. Now he’ll finally be able to get an objective view on the whole Emily situation. 

Spencer looked at the file in his hand and sighed, opening it up. As he was reading through it for the umpteenth time, something occurred to him, and he quickly made his way back into the station, and towards his team. 

_____________________________________________________________________________

Once the jet touched down in DC, Spencer was the first one off the plane. He walked through the hanger, and towards his car. He could feel the others watching him, especially Emily, but his mind was elsewhere. 

He reached into his pocket and pulled his phone out, dialing the number Garcia had sent. 

“Y/L/N and Associates, how may I help you today?” 

Spencer didn’t even try to bite back the smile before he cleared his throat, reaching into his back pocket to grab his keys. 

“Hi, yes, I was wondering if I could speak with Y/N Y/L/N?”

“Sure, let me make sure she’s available. Her meeting should be ending soon. Can I ask what this is for?” 

Spencer pursed his lips before answering. “She, uh, just told me to call this number.” 

He heard the person on the other end shuffle something around before answering, “Good enough for me.” They hummed. “Can I just get a name?”

“Yeah–uh, Spencer–Spencer Reid.” 

“Give me one moment Mr. Reid” was all he heard before he was put on hold. He sighed and entered his car, chucking his go-bag into the passenger seat. As Spencer turned on the car, he heard your voice.

“Spencer?”

His face lit up, and a smile graced his features. 

“Hey! Yeah. Um” He cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. “Hi.” 

She laughed. “I knew you’d find me eventually, Doctor, but a whole week? I feel that maybe your profiling skills need a bit of sharpening.” 

“Well–I was, I was working on cases. I-I didn’t forget—”

You cut him off, voice softer than he remembered. “I’m just teasing Spencer. So what do I owe the absolute pleasure of having Doctor Spencer Reid grace my line.” 

“Well, I was hoping you’d give me your cell number so I don’t have to annoy your secretary…”

You were silent for a moment. “Well my number is going to cost you something.” 

“Y-Yeah absolutely.” Answered a bit too quickly, almost out of breath. 

“I expect a meal sometime soon, and maybe throw in coffee one of these mornings as well.” 

Spencer smiled so brightly he almost couldn’t see the road as he was driving. 

“I-I, um, think that’s something I can do.” 

He heard you hum in agreement.

“What about tomorrow night?” 

Spencer paused. 

“I–...I actually can’t do tomorrow night, I have a team meeting, but what about breakfast the next morning?” 

He heard you shuffling papers around and a bit of typing on the keyboard before you answered him. “Seems like I’m all yours Doctor.” 

Reid smiled and parked his car outside of his apartment. 

“Then you’ll have to give me your cell phone’s number and it’s a sealed deal.”

“Are you usually this good at negotiations? Should I start prepping my list of demands for breakfast…” You joked, letting out a small laugh. 

Spencer shook his head before he realized you couldn’t see him. “N-No, well yes actually. It’s a part of the whole FBI thing.” 

You laughed at his joke before giving him your cell number. “I’ll see you soon Spencer. Bye.” 

As you hung up the phone, Spencer sent a quick “hey!” text before getting out of the car and heading up to his apartment. Maybe this wouldn’t be such a tense week after all. 

______________________________________________________________________________

The Team isn’t stupid. They’ve noticed that Spencer was somehow in a better mood when he arrived at the office the next morning, despite the way he basically ran away from the jet. They also noticed he was spending a lot more time on his phone than before, especially since Spencer was not the one to text. 

As Spencer dumped his sugar into his coffee mug, Derek came up next to him and started to prepare his own coffee. 

“Wanna tell me why you’re in such a good mood Pretty Boy?” 

Spencer pondered the offer for a moment before putting the sugar back on the counter, next to the coffee pot. “Nope.” and he walked back towards his desk. 

Derek was taken back a little bit, but finished his coffee. He made eye contact with Emily and shrugged. 

Emily was next, since her desk was next to Spencer’s. 

“Morning Spence…” 

“Morning Emily.” He quickly replied, and even flashed her a quick smile before his phone lit up and his attention was taken away from her. He sent a quick text, before placing his phone face down and started looking through his files to find the right paperwork to finish the consultation he had started before they left for Oklahoma. 

“Wanna tell me what’s going on with you?”

“Nope.” Spencer replied yet again, and now that Derek was back, he watched the same look pass through Emily’s face before she looked at Derek. 

Derek decided he was going to try a different tactic this time. “Hey Reid, wanna tell me who you're texting there man?” 

Derek’s face lit up like a Christmas Tree not even a moment later when Spencer ignored his question. 

“Is it…oh what was her name…”

“Ohhhh,” Emily joined in, “It’s the lawyer from last week…” 

Spencer just shrugged and tried to stay focused on the paper in front of him, yet all he had been doing for the past minute was rereading the same line over and over because all he could think about was when you were going to answer his text. 

“The lawyer, right right…” Derek smirked and looked at Emily, both knowing they hit the jackpot. “Wasn’t her name…Y/N?” 

At the mention of your name, Spencer made the mistake of sitting up a bit straighter, which both profilers noticed instantly.

“Oh so Y/N has been texting you all morning huh. Is that why you raced off of the jet last night? Couldn’t wait to go see he–”

“No.” Spencer cut off Derek, looking up at the pair. “I haven’t seen her since last week’s case. Now if the two of you wouldn’t mind leaving me alone I have a lot of paperwork I need to make it through before I head home tonight.” He turned back to the file in front of him and tried to read it again. And again. And again. Eventually, Spencer was able to continue his work once Derek and Emily let him be. 

But anytime his phone buzzed, he could feel the smirks from his friends, he just didn’t care. 

__________________________________________________________________________

You were so over your entire day. Every single one of your active clients decided that they had an issue that needed to be resolved in the second they called you. 

So when you woke up, face leaving a print against the wood of your desk, you let out a groan. 

The little clock in the corner of your laptop's screen flashed the time, causing you to let out a string of curses. 

“I cant fucking believe it’s 2 am. Fuck.” You grumbled, standing up and stretching your arms over your head. 

Your phone screen lit up with a notification, which also showed that you had missed a few text messages from your favorite profilers. The last one was a, correct, guess that you had fallen asleep at your desk. You smiled and responded with: 

Do you ever get tired of being right all the time Doctor Reid?

As you packed up your things, your phone buzzed. 

Not really. It’s just in my nature. 

You laughed out loud a bit, shaking your head. 

And why are you still awake? 

That’s when your phone rang. You held it in your hand, staring at it for a moment, before remembering to answer it. 

“Hello?”

“Did you even check caller ID or are you trying to encourage stalkers?” Spencer’s voice rang through your body as you let out another laugh, placing the phone between your shoulder and your ear, packing up the rest of your things. 

“Well Spencer, I seriously can’t think of another person to call me at this hour besides you…; and maybe this Baby Daddy who won’t leave me alone.” You grumbled, shoving your laptop into your bag with a little extra force than normal. 

“Baby daddy?” 

“Yeah, one of my clients, he’s a sweet guy—great dad. But because he’s so worried about his daughter having any sort of parenting time, he’s been calling me nonstop, freaking out about supervised visits. Like, I get it, but it’s fucking 2 am and I stop working at 5, maybe 6 the latest. 

You heard Spencer hum in response, but no words. “Spencer?”

“Yeah?”

“You okay?” 

“Ye-yeah, I uh–”

“Did…Did you think I was talking about someone I had a kid with?” 

Spencer sputtered out a “n-no, why–why would…”

You let out another laugh, that was like music to his ears. “Spencer, I feel like you should have figured that out from the way that you clearly used the FBI to look up my office number to get my cell number. You would’ve found out if I had kids.” 

“Y-Yeah I guess…” 

“Give me one second Spencer.” and before he could respond, you put your phone down, and pulled out your airpods, letting them connect to your phone so you could go hands free. 

“Can you hear me?” You placed your phone in your skirt pocket, adjusting your airpods so that they would be comfortable. 

“Yeah? Is everything okay?” 

“I just had to put my headphones on, I need my hands.” You slid on your heels, and walked out of your office locking the door. “Tell me about your day Spencer, I have to walk around and lock up.” 

Spencer hummed again and looked up at his ceiling. He had been sitting in his apartment, trying to read, waiting for you to answer his text–partially because he thought the worst, but mostly because he couldn't stop thinking about you. 

“Well. Not much happened. I was at work, and was trying to finish a report for this case I’m consulting on by sending them a preliminary profile, and then Derek was up my ass all day.” 

“What about?” You asked, placing your bag on the floor near the office, going to check the rest of the offices to make sure no one was still there. 

“Oh, um, well…”

You laughed again, causing his chest to swell again. “So it was me.” You teased me. “Excited to talk to me?”

You could feel Spencer turning redder and redder as the moments went on.

After a brief pause, Spencer responded to you. “And what if I am?”

It was your turn to blush, but it only made you feel a bit bolder. 

“Getting a bit flirtatious, Spence. This is not the Reid I once knew from all those years ago.”

You could hear Spencer laugh. 

“You sound tired. Why don’t you get some rest Spencer.” 

Spencer sat up straighter. “No. I’ll stay on the phone with you—” He interrupted himself with a yawn. “Until you get home. What kind of agent would I be letting you walk home alone at this hour.” 

“I’m not going to stop you, but if you fall asleep….I’m hanging up.” 

“Fine—Just text me when you get home?” 

You hummed and nodded. “Can do sweetheart. Night Spencer.” 

“Night Y/n” 

You hung up the phone and turned on your spotify, listening to some music that would make this fifteen minute walk bearable. You usually drive into work, but it had been such a nice day, and you usually don’t mind getting in the extra walk since you sit behind a desk all day. 

You paused before you exited the first set of doors—part of you felt like you should just go back upstairs and sleep in your office. It wouldn’t be the first time, and it would provide a certain agent with a lot more comfort knowing you’re somewhere safe. 

But then you thought about your bed, and the new sheets you put on the night before, and the weighted blanket spread out across the bed spread, and you realized you’d much rather sleep under that than on a stale couch without even a pillow. 

You managed to make a fifteen minute walk into a ten one. Speeding home at 2 am was not exactly what you wanted to do, but you’d rather that then the couch. You quickly unlocked the front door and made it up the stairs and into your apartment. 

You sent Spencer a quick text saying that you had arrived home, and immediately moved into your bedroom. 

The apartment was a small one bed, one bath. It would have been considered a studio if not for the door between your bedroom and the kitchen/living room/entrance/dining room. Your bedroom was quite small, with a skinny closet, a dresser, and your bed. You had gotten lucky enough to shove your bed against one wall, and create a reading nook in the turret window on the other side of the room, which was only about ten feet away, but still. 

You kicked off your shoes, and made your way into the bathroom, brushing your teeth and listening to whatever music spotify had decided to play for you. 

You took off your outfit for the day and pulled on your pajamas, which felt so good against your skin as you slid into your bed, and shut the lights off. 

You wished you took the first option when two minutes later, you heard your bedroom door creak open, and a voice tell you not to scream. 

To Be Continued...

________________________________________________________

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Ortho Shroud - Platinum Gear Vignette

"Happy 100th Anniversary"

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Ortho: So, this is the Land of Dawning's National Museum of Art… It really has such a large and diverse collection of various genres of artwork. This is essentially a database of art.

Ortho: According to the map I installed, this exhibit should hold the painting I'm looking for…

???: An enormous dog with three heads and sharp fangs… A frightening creature, indeed. I would have loved to have seen it personally.

Ortho: Hello, Jade Leech-san. I was just here to check out the Cerberus painting, too.

Jade: Is that so? As a creature that served the Lord of the Underworld, the Cerberus truly did have a powerful aura about it.

Jade: I'm sure with all 6 of those eyes keenly trained on the entrance to the underworld, it would have been a difficult endeavor indeed to attempt an escape.

Ortho: They're really cool, don't you think?

Ortho: But, according to lore, if they got tempted by their favorite sweets, they would end up lowering their vigilance.

Jade: Fufu, I see. So, perhaps it was a more charming creature than it looked… Would you agree?

Ortho: Yep. Also, they had one body, right, so each of the three heads ate a smaller amount of food…

Ortho: And they'd get in fights whenever they wanted to go in different directions… There's so many other cool stories about them, too.

Jade: You're very well-informed. Is this something that all Ignihyde students must know?

Ortho: Mmm, I'm not sure. I probably just know a lot since I really liked the stories in which the Cerberus would show up, and I'd read them all the time.

Ortho: Back when I was a kid, me and my brother would read picture books on the legends of the Lord of the Underworld, see…

Ortho: And even after coming to Sage's Island, whenever I learned of a new tale involving Cerberus, I'd update my database.

Jade: I see, so that's how… Well, I appreciate having been able to hear some unexpected anecdotes.

Ortho: Most would say that they look ferocious, or seem really strong, but the more you get to know them, the more cute you'll find them.

Ortho: Since Cerberus is considered a dog-like monster, I've also been collecting data on regular dog behaviors too.

Ortho: Recently, I've gotten to pet some dogs out for a walk down in Whistle Park. Of course, I ask their owners for permission, first.

Jade: A real dog… That's astounding. As I do not have much experience with them, I'm afraid I'm a tad hesitant to actually touch them, myself.

Ortho: I was a bit hesitant too, at first. I didn't really know how much strength I should put into touching a living creature…

Ortho: And since I'm a technomantic humanoid and smell different than humans, they'd be super wary of me.

Jade: Ah, that makes sense. They do have a powerful sense of smell.

Jade: So then, how is it that you've become able to interact with those dogs, Ortho-kun?

Ortho: I just would strike up a conversation with them on a regular basis and slowly built trust.

Jade: That is astounding. This is the first I've heard that you are well-versed in animal linguistics.

Ortho: I'd always had an app installed that'd let me talk with animals, but…

Ortho: Once I became a student at Night Raven College, I actually developed an animal linguistics translation tool.

Ortho: By talking to the animals first hand, I was able to improve the translations that seems a bit strange…

Ortho: Not only has was I able to improve the translation accuracy, but now I've gotten close with a bunch of dogs that they'll actually come up to me themselves once they catch sight of me!

Jade: So, in addition to achieving your goal of petting dogs, you were able to update your own translation tool… Absolutely fantastic.

Ortho: Heheh! Thanks, Jade Leech-san.

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Ortho: This is a painting depicting one of the scenes from the Mermaid Princess's legend, isn't it? That's the Sea King riding that sleigh, right?

Jade: That's right, and what a dignified and gallant figure he is. What a shame he was unaware that the princess would be absent for the concert.

Ortho: He got really mad the moment he learned that the princess was going to be absent for her own debut… or so the story goes.

Ortho: I feel bad for the king, that she slipped out without telling him. But it's pretty cool that he gets to ride that dolphin-led sleigh.

Jade: Did that dolphin-led sleigh catch your eye? Then please, you must visit the Coral Sea.

Jade: They are primarily used for special events, however there are many such sleigh services geared towards surface-dwelling tourists.

Ortho: Cool, what sort of stuff? Let me search up "Coral sea dolphins sleigh" real quick…

Ortho: Here we go, there's a ton of tours, like… "Tour the Majestic Sea on a Dolphin Sleigh" and "Explore Undersea Ruins upon a Dolphin Sleigh"

Ortho: "Dolphin-led sleighs are safe and secure! Feel like a king as you partake in an elegant tour of the sea!" …Wow!

Jade: Safe and secure… I am a tad doubtful of that statement.

Ortho: You mean it's actually dangerous?

Jade: About 2 years ago, there was an incident where tourists from the surface were left stranded in the middle of the ocean.

Ortho: Let me search for any incidents having to do with dolphin sleighs. Ah, I got a hit on a news article from 2 years back.

Ortho: The stranded tourists were able to find their way to land on their own, and were all okay in the end, but…

Ortho: The touring company responsible got a ton of bad reviews after that. Looks like they got flamed pretty badly online.

Jade: Well, now… A corporation built at the bottom of the sea in which fire cannot thrive was "flamed pretty badly," you say… How wonderfully ironic.

Jade: According to the news, the dolphins merely left on a whim. If this all happened because of their mood, then what's to stop this sort of thing from happening again?

Ortho: You're right, Jade-san. This is a completely different story than just trying to fix the bugs in the system.

Ortho: I wonder if there's some sort of pattern to the timing of those dolphin mood swings. I'll have to search up on it later.

Jade: Fufu, you are quite cautious, aren't you?

Ortho: Yep! 'Cause, if I'm going to go check them out, I'd want to go when they're in one of their flippant moods!

Jade: I was not expecting that response. I completely expected you to be wanting a "safe and secure" tour.

Ortho: It might be fine just strolling around the ocean depths, but I feel like it wouldn't be as satisfying being stuck on a set path.

Ortho: If the dolphins act up, they might leave me stranded in the ocean, or take me to unexpected places…

Ortho: Doesn't it get your blood pumping to think about what sort of unpredictable moments might be waiting for you?

Jade: Indeed, I completely understand that sentiment. When everything follows organized harmony, it does get quite boring.

Jade: Then, how about I suggest a more stimulating tour for you? I assure you, this absolutely will not leave you wallowing in boredom.

Ortho: That sounds fun! I can't wait to see what kind of tour you come up for me, Jade-san.

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Jade: Ah, this artwork depicts the scene where the Fairest Queen is sending out her most trusted hunter on a significant mission.

Ortho: I heard that when it comes to paintings depicting the Fairest Queen, you'll want to focus on the finer details, like the direction her face is looking, or the angle at which her finger is pointing.

Ortho: Vil Schoenheit-san told me as such when I was selected as a supporter for the museum.

Jade: That's good to know. I'm sure those in Pomefiore would be passionately moved while gazing upon this painting.

Ortho: Hmm, the concept of being moved by just looking at a painting is still a difficult one for me to grasp…

Ortho: But actually, something happened recently that's still stuck in my mind. I wonder if this is what they consider to be "moved" by something?

Jade: What a fascinating start. May I ask what sort of thing happened?

Ortho: The Film Research Club went to Crane Port for some club activities, and on the way back, I ran into this family that was fishing.

Ortho: They were chatting away about what kind of dishes they'd make if they caught anything, but their bucket was still devoid of any fish…

Ortho: Right as the dad said, "I guess we should head home," his kid caught a fish!

Ortho: Everyone looked so happy. But what do you think that family did next?

Jade: Did they not put the fish in the bucket and carry it home?

Ortho: Nope. They just said it would be a pity to eat a creature so small and threw it back into the ocean.

Ortho: But they did that after they had finally fished one up! It didn't really make sense to me, so it was hard to understand what I saw.

Jade: If I recall, there is a certain release size criteria that is implemented here on land in order to conserve water resources.

Ortho: Yep. But according to my measurements, that fish was about 5 cm larger than the release criterion.

Ortho: Based on the way that family was talking, once they had caught a fish that was "big," they should have taken it home with them.

Ortho: Even though it was an adult fish adequate for cooking up, they pitied it because it looked too small…

Ortho: No matter how many times I think it over, I can't really understand that mechanism.

Jade: I thought this would be a story where you were moved by their care for a small creature… But instead, I see you were more taken in by their incomprehensible actions.

Ortho: They spent time and energy into trying to fish up that fish, but in the end… I wonder if that sort of illogical action is what makes a human human.

Jade: Perhaps, perhaps not. For that family, it may be that was the most logical choice.

Ortho: Eh, what do you mean?

Jade: If it were a large fish, then the whole family could divide it up and eat it. However, a single, small fish would not nearly be enough.

Jade: In order for everyone in the family to eat their fill, they would need to cook up more dishes to go with it.

Jade: Then, if there were no fish to begin with, they wouldn't have to go through the trouble of making extra dishes… Perhaps that would be a better way to think of it?

Ortho: I see…! If I were to think from the eyes of the person who has to prepare the meal, that decision makes more sense.

Jade: This is only a possible scenario I've come up with… But I only mean it to illustrate that there are many ways to view something.

Ortho: Heh! See, this is why talking with as many different peoples as I can gives me so much new data… Plus, it's really interesting!

Ortho: Thanks a ton for listening, Jade-san. I hope we can chat about other stuff some other time.

Ortho: Okay, time for me to go check out another exhibit. Oh hey, this painting…

Ortho: It depicts the moment when the Son of the God of Thunder and his trainer is talking about his grand dreams.

Ortho: According to the lore, this guy's strength was way off the charts and was invulnerable, but… I bet I could find it.

Ortho: I know I could find a weakness that could bring even a hero like that down.

Requested by Anonymous.

[theskit]

Stickers AU

Anyone linking here from the previous posts or wanting to use the links on this post to go back/forward to the other parts and not wanting to spoil the surprise stickers, after using the link, click on my blog name to go to the actual post, as direct linking takes away the readmore cut. I'll take this out and fix it if I can find out how. Sorry!

Part 6

《Prev Next》

Danny floated along as he caught his breath. Okay, so jump scaring the Red Hood *might* not have been the best plan he'd ever come up with, but man, was it funny!

It was getting kind of late, though. He should probably start making his way back to the hotel. Any more vigilante pranks would have to wait for another time. Good thing the conference was on a long weekend. He had one more night to try his luck before they left Monday afternoon for the drive back to Amity.

Pulling up the map on his phone, Danny started making his way back. Just over halfway there, he jolted to a stop, catching sight of a rippling back shadow. Batman's distinctive silhouette was marked briefly against a building wall before being almost lost again in the perpetual dimness of the city rooftops at night.

Well, well, well, looks like he might have the chance to bag all the bats and birds of Gotham in one night, leaving tomorrow to hunt down in Bludhaven for Nightwing.

Eeeeexcellent. Danny pulled himself straight in mid-air, steepling his fingers and druming them together in classic Evil Villian style, grinning in a manner that would have shown entirely too many teeth had he been visible.

Now, this would require *true* stealth if he wanted to both get a sticker onto Batman's utility belt, as well as help himself to a batarang or two. Because Ellie was right, there would be no greater souvenir from his time in Gotham than a batarang from *the* Batman himself.

Choosing a sticker and prepping it, Danny sidled up to where Batman was staring down at a building that was probably not as vacant as it looked if it called for that much concentration. All the better for him if Batman was distracted though.

Moving by inches, carefully controlling his breathing so as not to make a sound, Danny made it to Batman's side. Batman was... probably? right handed, most people were, so he was gunna make an educated guess that the sharp throwing objects would be on the left side of the belt.

Getting ready to make the grab and stick, Danny nearly jumped out of his skin as Batman moved his arm and draped his cape over the space where Danny was standing intangibly right next to him, in a gesture that seemed more ingrained habit than conscious thought.

O-KAY! Time to go before Batman had a chance to recognize that there was no one where he very obviously expected someone to be. Robin, maybe?

Thoughts to think another time! Moving with all the speed and precision he could muster while his heart was still attempting to leave the city without him, Danny swiped one hand through a series of belt pouches while the other oh-so-gently tapped a sticker to the front buckle.

Not even stopping to see what it was he'd swiped, Danny made a quick exit, stage left, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

Batman was jolted out of his concentration when he felt a nudge at his belt as his cape settled against his side once more. Whirling to the left, he scanned the rooftop but saw no one.

Which was entirely unexpected as his instincts were *sure* a small presence had been snug up to his side, like a young Dick or Tim when they got tired or a bit overwhelmed while on patrol and wanted to hide in his cape.

But neither Dick nor Tim, or even Damian (though Damian had never actually done so) was small or young enough to have done that in *years*.

A quick inspection found his belt pouches missing a handful of batarangs, some candy he kept on hand to help soothe distressed children, and the extra just-in-case comm unit. As well as the addition of a glowing sticker, much like the one currently decorating the batmobile, somehow placed on the buckle despite him neither seeing or hearing anything.

@mygood-bitch99 @stargazer-luna @easily-broken-by-emotion @dolfay @britcision @cyber-geist @is-this-even-relatable @alcorbearson @fisticuffsatapplebees @thegatorsgoose @my-mom-calls-me-rat @some-rotten-nest @crystalqueertea @meira-3919 @wandererofthestars @seraphinedemort

[yiiyiiwrites]

Azriel x Day court scholar

You’re a day court scholar working as a historian, specialising in ancient magic and politics. Azriel’s shadows knew before you did, that you were his mate.

When you first see the shadows:

You catch a glimpse of a flicker of darkness, a floating shadow but it’s gone as soon your eyes leave the yellowed page of your book.

Turning back you stare at the cursive text, trying to find your last place. You scan the page, brows scrunching as the tiny shadow escapes from beneath it. As if it was marking the space, three pages back.

The next time you come across the tiny shadow it’s accompanied by another. It catches the book you’ve reached for before it falls to the floor, the action nearly makes you fall off the ladder.

You don’t know, but a part of your light magic particle tangles with one of his shadows. Azriel keeps it close to him wondering when he’ll see you

When you meet Azriel for the first time:

You’re staring a marbled statue in the depths of the library, convinced you saw the smooth face shift. But it was a trick of the shadows

A member of the night court is supposed to be visiting looking for a specific set of history books. There deep in the library, it’s a bit dim but theres lanterns grouped together wherever there is space, it fills the darkness with a yellow glow.

You see his shadows before you meet him, they dance around you before they return to him. It’s like spark of sunlight, the warmth of the day washes other you and you can’t help but stare at him.

Azriel squints back as you emit a glow around your body, he wonders if that’s what stars look like. He wonders if it’s a shield, if he puts you on edge. So he dips his head slightly and introduces himself.

“Oh forgive me, I’m still trying to work on the whole energy thing, happens quite a lot actually I don’t quite know what triggers it exactly,” you ramble on, beckoning him forwards to show him the way. (It’s not till later that you realise his shadows are the reason you keep glowing)

Catching his gaze between the empty shelf of bookcases. He’s down the next aisle from you and you can’t help but blush when your eyes connect, the ladder beneath you wobbling. You don’t see the shadows stabilising it.

Azriel offers to carry the heavy books for you as pick from the long list and map you’re following.

You pick an old leather bound tome from the pile and place it on the table, dust rising and pushing his shadows away as you blow the excess dirt off the cover.

Azriel courting you:

Library dates become both your favourite. Deep into the historic section where most people don’t wander.

Stolen kisses between the aisles of books.

He loves that you ramble about your new findings, you know that mystical creature that hasn’t been sighted in centuries or the old gods tradition you’d never heard of. (He definitely goes home and tells the boys. Did you know).

Trying to surprise him, but he always knows you’re approaching. He just lets you think you sneaked up on him.

Calls you “my light.”

Sometime you meet each other on the border between the night and day court.

Leaving notes for each other when you share a book.

You’re not fond of the dark, there’s always that little bit of light beside you keeping you company, but it’s now got a shadowy friend dancing around it.

When the mating bond snaps:

Makes the most of having you to himself, he visits the day court instead of you going to Velaris.

Azriel teaching you how to defend yourself, which goes wrong when you send a pulse of light at him in frustration. He jokes that you should probably not wear metal armour.

Gifting him a necklace with a little bit of your light energy in it. So that he can use it in the darkness whenever he wants you.

Doesn’t introduce you to the inner circle until you’re ready. Which takes you a while

Warns cassian to be on his best behaviour and threatens not to get him that old war book from the day court if he over steps.

You introduce him to your scholar friends who practically interrogate him as they are just as in awe by his shadows as you are. Granted you only two friends so it’s not too overwhelming.

[i-may-be-an-emu]

SFTH FAQ and Info Masterpost

This is kinda long so

sfth info:

General info

Sam and Tom’s last names being different sometimes

Shark Friend, Mr Wompa and Squidboi terms origins

the boys degrees

information about what you get with patreon

navigating patreon

Just a note that many sfth videos are subtitled (a decent amount in other languages too!!!) and the subtitlers are amazing!!!! They are credited in the video descriptions.

If you see any fake sfth accounts on any platforms try to report them!!! Unfortunately there’s a multitude of them on tiktok >:( and tiktok doesn’t let people report them (there’s an issue for some when you try to) Try to not suppourt or watch these stolen videos! Sfth are verified now!!! (If that’s easier for people to tell which is the real them :))

Obviously there’s no rules on tumblr but as a general courtesy to the guys, consider keeping in mind:

Not sharing links to patreon content if you’re a patreon (which is probably actually a patreon rule but I’m just assuming that) and keeping clips of patreon things under 2 minutes. Screenshots and discussions are fine!! (As some people have been wondering) though maybe consider tagging the original post with a patreon tag (like #sfthpatreon) so people who aren’t patreons and don’t want to see patreon stuff can filter it out.

Not sharing screenshots/links/clips/ect of the guys when they were younger unless it’s still on their actual sfth account or their own personal accounts. They’ve stated before that they don’t really want these shared and have taken some older videos down.

[I’m only saying this so that people are aware and keep it in mind and be informed!!! Not telling people what they can and can’t do!]

links to stuff:

Fanfiction masterlist (list is mine, fics are of many different authors all credited through the ao3 links) and also an ao3 page with mostly all sfth fics by @bbatcat-09

ao3 guide a relationships ao3 tagging guide and a revised ao3 tagging guide (specific for the sfth fandom) (all by the incredible @youling-the-ghost)

List of games that sfth have posted (by @letsbesharkfriends)

sfth fan wiki (by @youling-the-ghost, I have also contributed a little but it’s mostly him :))

tv tropes sfth page (by @friendofthesharks)

sfth map (by @goingroundincircles-ontrack)

kiss count, not up to date (mine, diagram by @leftenmost-window)

“who said it” and “which member are you” really fun sfth quizzes! (by @toddandersonwithtrustissues)

You can find amazing sfth gifs by @hellsquills (to find these search “shoot from the gif” within her blog)

search “#sfth asks” on my blog to find any asks about or relating to sfth- it’s not just questions, but there is a great deal of questions that you might find yours answered by :) I’m always happy to get asks and to help out with any questions!!! I’ve also started tagging “#sfth faq’s” recently

You should check out all the amazing fanart too under #sfth fanart!!! (also sneaky self promotion that I make fanart sometimes lol #emu draws is my art tag :))

feel free to @, dm me or send asks anytime if you have any sfth related questions or wanna obsess over it with me :)

Fandom tags:

(from memory and just the common ones I see)

(there’s no rules of course, just a little list so that people can search for and filter things easily :))

main tags:

#shoot from the hip #sfth #shootimpro #sfthposting #sfth screenshots

#sam russell #sfth sam #alexander jeremy #sfth aj #luke manning #sfth luke #tom mayo #sfth tom #sfth sam

fanwork tags:

#sfth fanart #sfth fanfic #sfth fanfiction #sfth edits #sfth headcanons

patreon tags:

#sfthpatreon #sfth patreon things #sfth patreon #the bitter sweethearts #sfth dnd #sfth livestreams #sfth livestreams #escape from the vault

if you want to join the sfth fan discord dm me and I can send you the link! (Just a note that it is a 14+ server.) Everyone is lovely and there’s no pressure to interact- but if you do the community is so welcoming!!!

sfth linktree (stuff about their upcoming shows and links to their things. you can also sign up for patreon here)

sfth website

sfth ko-fi

AJ ko-fi (for his film making) and his film insta @lofi_film25

Tom’s graphic novel @futurethecomic (insta)

Sam wrote an audiobook “Evergreen” and you can find it on Spotify

if you think of anything that should go on this post let me know! :)

(Just a note that I keep this pretty up-to-date :))

[sehnsuchts-trunken]

I'll Show You Just How Sad I Am

a raymond smith x reader quick little blurb, just 1k words

there's mentions of smut in this so read at your own risk <33 who knows, maybe raymond will make a more regular occurrence on my blog over the next few weeks

here's my masterlist in case you want to check out my other works

"Should be the door to your left, honey."

Your voice is sweet in his ear, a pleasant distraction from the run-down building Mickey had sent him off to. It's smelly and dirty and even though he knows he should most likely feel pity, he's still just as disgusted. He'd be with you in a heartbeat if he could, safe and clean in the comfort of your home.

"Mickey should've sent a cleaning lady", he grunts as he knocks at the door, your chuckle almost making up for the very truthful, thinly veiled anger behind his words.

"Mickey wanted you because you're the best", you recite - you've told him often enough by now that it really is reciting. "And because he trusts you to keep this clean."

Which is easier said than done.

Twenty minutes later, the whole thing's anything but clean.

Sure, he'd very much accomplished bringing Laura home - but he'd also left a dead teenager in a puddle of blood about two stories down from where he should've been sitting.

"Left, left!", you call into the mic. Even though you're far from panicking, you're still much too loud, your voice flowing from his earpiece and stinging his brain.

"I'm trying, darling", he grunts back, breathless and panting as he pushes on, one foot in front of the other on the pavement of some random South London streets.

"I know, I know", you sigh. He isn't sure whether he's actually hearing you chew on your lip or imagining it, but he doesn't really have the capacity to think too much about it at the moment. "He's right in front of you. You've got him, Ray."

Yeah... The only problem is that what you must be seeing as a moving, flashing dot on a digital map, he's seeing as a bunch of teenagers trying to look intimidating. Probably feeling intimidating too. God, this is exactly why he didn't want the job. He isn't made for the fucking low-classed youth.

"You've seen enough?", that bastard of a boy spits at him. "Now I've got backup."

Raymond steadies his hands on his thighs and takes a deep breath in.

"You couldn't back up a phone, you cunt", he rasps, his erratic heartbeat slowly starting to calm back down.

"Raymond", you scold. "That's a child."

"That's a bastard", he mutters, before he finally straightens and tries his best at a somewhat mannered bargain. He's really only here for the fucking phone. He needs those pictures, then he's gone. He doesn't want to leave more unnecessary corpses to take care of.

So he offers them money. Which is something that they should definitely take, just judging by how they look. Plus a visit to a very good psychiatrist. But they don't. It's the same fucking bastard who's taken the pictures in the first case and got him into this mess that refuses - and in such a really stupid way, too: "How 'bout you give us that bag and be gone anyway?" - god, even you let out a choked up laugh at that, your breath carrying through the mic and into Ray's earpiece.

He drops his chin to his chest and shakes his head. What a fucking bunch of idiots. Goddamn it. He can feel his blood boil, hot and hotter.

"It's bait", you mutter, your voice low. "Calm down, love. You've got a machine gun. Use it."

Yeah, fucking hell, it's bait, he knows that. It doesn't change the way he's feeling. But your voice in his ear at least brings him back down to reality.

"Right", he grunts, then he swipes his coat to the side, closes his hand around the grip of the gun and steadies his fingertips against the trigger. He pulls it out in one swift motion, points it at the sky and shoots. For a good three seconds longer than necessary.

"Just like that", you breathe, your grin dripping down onto your voice and melting into his ear like honey. You've really got to stop that, he actually loses his focus for half a moment there and in his line of work, next time that means sure death.

The entire bunch of teenage boys flees - as expected - and in less than a minute, Raymond has the phone pressed into his palm.

"God, sometimes I really hate that I'm not there", you sigh, something in the background ruffling, probably as you shift into a more comfortable position on your chair. "Kinda wish I could've seen you."

"Run after a little cunt like that? You didn't miss anything, darling", he says, turning his head left and right before he strides back towards the car, his steps long and purposeful.

"Turn the corner here", you mutter, your voice taking on that specific tone that tells him there's a lazy grin licking at your lips. He can just imagine how you're looking (especially now that he has the time and freedom of mind for it) - one foot propped up on those bar stools that you'd bought for the kitchen, your equipment organised on the table top in front of you, his shirt hanging from your shoulders and pooling in your lap, your head tilted back and your eyes half-closed as you talk to him.

"I don't mean the little idiot", you go on, undeterred even as he narrowly avoids a trash can. Fuck, you really distract him too much. "I'm talking about you. God, you sounded so hot I wanted to jump at you. Actually scratch that, I still do."

He lets out a chuckle as he spots the car, his steps slowing. He should hurry up, he knows that. But he's got you in his ear, talking in that sweet voice of yours about just how much he affects you. He can't pass up on that.

"You're a little fuckin' minx, darling", he mutters with a grin, throwing a glance over his shoulder to check if there's any possibility he could be overheard. He doesn't necessarily feel like making your conversation public, even as you hum into the microphone.

"Yeah, but yours", you mumble. It sounds like you're almost proud of that. "Here's an idea, love: Get back home before I finish my shower and I'll show you just how sad I am that I couldn't watch you."

[magentasnail]

one thing you should know about me is that I'm a little insane

all of the new bill cipher stuff and euclydia had sparked a lot of discussions about the nature of a 2D dimension, so now I have a very strong one sided beef with anyone trying to claim that "we, as 3D beings, can only see/perceive in 2D" and as a 3D being myself I have to disagree and if I don't voice my opinions in public I will lose my mind

so welcome to "magenta's trying to explain physics without actually knowing physics to anyone who's willing to listen"

so first of all, one major key of this debate is the difference between "see" and "perceive", because that can lead to some confusion

in my opinion there are basically 3 stages to "sight" (and any other senses): 1. the information the eyes gets (our retinas?) 2. the image our brains create from interpreting that information 3. us comprehending what we see

I personally think of "seeing" as at least level 2, but for the sake of this argument let's refer to seeing as level 1 and perception as 2 and 3 (separating them to perception and comprehension doesn't add much to the discussion) however I still think vision encapsulate the entire thing, so keep that in mind

if that's the case, I do understand why people claim that we can only "see" in 2D, because in a technical sense: one eye can only see a flat image

for example, if we have these 2 balls in front of us in a 3D space, we wont really be able to tell anything about their distance and size with just one eye

HOWEVER, and that's the thing I'm mainly getting at: we do have the ability to tell size and distance in real life! by this great thing calls "depth perception"

now this is not really a concept I can explain with images since they are inherently flat, but you probably know it already just think 3D glasses, VR, or even just look around in your room! our two eyes + our brain gives us the ability to tell the distance of things from us! you can theoretically map the objects around you on a 3D grid just from looking at them, and if that's not 3D vision and perception idk what is

well, actually, I did see a thing being argued that "3D vision means seeing all sides of an object + inside of it, which is what 4D creatures will see" so lets think about that for a second

this argument stems from the way we interact with the 2nd dimension

as all the flatlands lovers here know, when we look at a world of 2D creatures, we are able to see all of their sides, and their inside, so supposedly a 4D creature would be able to do the same for us

but that's where things gets interesting, so let's go deeper!

this usually comes up in order to say "this ability to see around and inside of an object defines what 2D vision is, and thus only 3D being can see 2D, while 2D beings can only see 1D" however, I don't think it has to do with sight at all! but rather with point of view and existing in a higher dimensional plane !

the special thing about us really is our ability to move on the Z axis and separate ourselves from the 2D plane, and thus get a fuller view! so this doesn't have anything to do with us "being limited to 2D" but rather with us being 3D creatures in a 3D world and 3D perception!!! so supposedly, a 4D creature would be in the same situation, having 3D retinas and an overall 4D vision and perception!

if we were to be on the flat plain along the other shapes, our vision isn't going to serve us much better than it does for the 2D creatures, the only additional thing we will be able to see is the Z axis, which isn't really relevant to 2D beings

so now raises the question: can 2D creatures see in 2D? don't they only see 1D? ( - a line ?)

I'm going to jump through some loops here so I need you to hold my hand and bare with me

lets say we have this triangular fella with one eye, the light information they are getting is linear, so basically a line (which is represented on the right)

now this is where I'm making a bit of a leap: will their vision have 2D depth? like we have?

think for a second of the way we see, technically, even the flat image our retinas see is based in some 3D: specifically, objects appear smaller as they are far away, lines wrap into a vanishing point in the horizon, stuff like that!

the 3D world around us is getting compressed into a flat image with perspective, which we can later decipher back into 3D using both our eyes !

and as you might have noticed, a similar thing is happening in our triangle friend's vision! even though both circles are the same size, the light blue circle is closer, and thus takes a much larger portion of their field of view!

unfortunately, as we have established before, while this is a result of depth, this isn't equivalent to depth perception, as our poor triangle cant tell anything about the distance of the circles! is that circle close to him? is that a giant far circle? who knows!

this is where having 2 eyes might help!

our other friend, the 2 eyed triangle, should in theory be able to have depth perception similarly to us, and thus perceive 2D visually!!

how specifically their brain interprets that information is beyond me, the changes in distance, size and angles/curves might be visible as color changes or even width

it's important to remember that since there's no defined "width" to the "line" of their vision, it's actually filling their entire field of view and perception of sight, so it's not like it's a line within a black void but more of the definition of everything, so when compared to our perception of sight it's something more like this:

and if you want to incorporate the idea of closer objects appearing larger in their perception, it might be something like this (for a bunch of random circles in different distances):

the main thing is, when we are trying to say 2D creatures can only see 1D, it's usually just because we think of "2D vision" as a matter of height and width, when it can actually just be depth and width, both of these are valid ways of representing 2 dimensions! because there are 2 dimensions represented ! it's just a matter of point of view!!

I don't think our ability to see 2D objects from all their sides at once is defining what counts as 2D vision, it's just a way to see it from further away, and without relaying on perspective I guess?

so I guess that's the thing really, the core of this discussion: does perspective count? I mean perspective is what makes the axis that's "forwards" accessible, distorting the size to substitute distance. supposedly, when we step back to look to look at a 2D world, we don't need any of that distortion, and we can easily see both the accurate size and the distance of objects, so does that mean our vision is superior? that it's actually true 2D?

in my opinion, the distortion of perspective doesn't take away from our vision, it's just a way to represent the forward axis! no matter how many dimensions you have, forwards is always the first dimension to exist, and while you are looking straight ahead at one dimension lower than you are, your over all vision consists of a stack of "straight ahead views" along the additional axis, which I consider as giving it it's missing dimension!!

trying to argue we can't perceive the world in the dimension we exist in doesn't make sense to me, we are 3D beings in a 3D world which we intuitively interact with! just like we can move around the 3D space and hear the direction sounds are coming from, I don't understand why vision should be limited to any less, and definitely not perception!

well that was fun! this is basically just a matter of semantics, but thinking and trying to analyze vision and different dimensions was just really interesting! and I hope it was interesting to read for you dear one person who read this! have a candy! 🍬 hopefully now that I release these thoughts into the world they won't hurt me as much !! time to dissolve i guess !

[ganondoodle]

okay i typed this in a reply but i need to say this more detailed here too, the way totk dealt with horses (and stables) is bad and worse than botw imo (yes i can rant about that too, these weird choices are in every little spot in totk, its almost impressive)

in a game that lets you build cars and stupid flying maschines, towers that shoot you into the stratosphere AND teleporting points all over the place, the chance is already low that you use a horse- though i would be one of them bc i love horses and hate building and didnt find it fun at all-

(also i almost never used any parts i had with me bc you cant put them back and your dumb vehicles despawn as soon as you dont look at them- also a negative thing about that system that reinforces the feeling of actually using it being more punishing than rewarding with the added bonus of the good ol saving your health potions forever problem)

-and something i DID like was that you can have more horses and the ... one.. new color (the lil spots but only AFTER you do that one quest in the spy post)

the stable points seemed like a neat idea, but like so many things, are utterly cheatable, imo the system should have only given you a point when you visit a new stable, so you actually have to go around and visit them all

(also .. add new stables, like mini ones or sth that dont offer beds- you dont need that anyway- so you have more places in which you can get them ... why did they remove some of them anyway, shouldn there be MORE now that the land is supposedly healing/being repaired? especially the one next to the big canyon, its so empty there it would have the perfect place for sth like a new settlement or a big boss arena but no its more empty than it was before, why?? and then putting yet another repeating annoying quest there in that weirld empty place?? i just dont get it)

letting you farm points by sleeping at a stable or bringing in a horse gives you LESS incentive to actually go around the world bc you can just farm it there

(and if that was done so youd 'discover' the malanya talks to you in your sleep 'secret' ... that is literally told to you, and if its bc you dont want to force players to go around and find every stable to get all those rewards ... why do you have 140 or whatver caves then with the majority of them being the literal same thing over and over ... to make people actually use the sleeping thing there? .. why, who uses that anyway, and farming points by sleeping there .. what the hell does that add? AND THEN the stupid sleep over tickets, probably the most nothign reward ever, dont count?? i dont think i ever used one- it just all doesnt make any sense, everything plays against each other)

the upgrading system for your horse is .. once again, a neat idea horribly executed, you have to go find malanya to upgrade them, and similarly stupidly like the fairies, they only tell you what food you need for what upgrade when you are there .. or when you are sleeping in the special tm bed at a stable, randomly, one food, bc the quantity changes too

which is just so ??????????? let me go and do a quest that rewards you with a lil booklet in which you can look up what an upgrade costs, or let the stables have that, either as a list or in the menu when selecting a horse or something?? (also why the hell is malanya in a different spot anyway, like, it feels like a modder just plopped them over there, their og spot is just empty now - except for yet again a stupid filler quest for .. another big horse and a yaaaaaaaaays crystal shrine quest- ... the spot is even still called spring of the horse god .... its so stupid, just like the fairy shuffling around, like you really couldnt think of a better way to reuse that concept other than to ... move it to a different spot in the same map and map level???? and not change anything in their og spot except idk, put a hole in the map ... for one of them like .. its like they moved them around last minute just to have the semblance of things being 'changed' with no regard what makes a change actually feel like one and what just feels like, pick up thing, click on random spot on map, drop thing- its like that for the fairies and shrines too, its so dumb and .. feels disrepectful to botw and how much thought seemed to have went into these spots that were clearly built about those things)

and like it couldnt get WORSE, they cut off the paths that horses follow automatically with one of those miasma buttholes (sorry its just a hole cut into the map, it doesnt even look like miasma burst through, it just .. cut out) a monster camp (that RESPAWNS, i thought those camps you clear with a quest would stay clear, but that would make sense, so of course it respawns and you can do the frame rate killer quest over and over yippieee) or otherwise like, with a big rock or a broken bridge-

and there is NO WAY to create a new path or fix or move anything in a game ABOUT BUILDING supposedly, like you needed more reasons to never use a horse????? i liked jsut hopping on and letting them follow a path and chill looking at the landscape, you cant do this here, and you cant even excuse it with 'its bc of the theme' as in, stuff is destroyed bc calamity 1.5 or whatever bc nothing in the game makes it feel like theres anything actually at stake, but the real crime is to make it not be fixable. WHY??? link moves entire buildings with ease but cant move one freaking rock that fell into a river?????? you swing around logs like a club but cant fix a bridge so your horse can get over it??????????????????????????????