#which i am simply Not Good At
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr.com rank in the US is 25.
Text
my therapist basically assigned me the task of "play a video game" like, five months ago, and im proud to announce that today i have finally removed my switch from the charger and am now doing what i usually do, but with the switch here as well
#hes keeping me company#its more nuanced than that but like#blah blah blah do things that are fun and relaxing and not tied to productivity or self value#blah blah blah self care#blah blah blah engage in hobbies#etc etc etc#which i am simply Not Good At#vent#personal#txt posts
113 notes
·
View notes
Text
can i just say. and this is probably a niche hill to die on. that i am so gobsmacked every time someone vaguely hints at the idea that jotaro doesn't care meaningfully for the other crusaders, usually particularly kakyoin and joseph, when those two actually tend to be the ones he reacts to being hurt the hardest
like he cares for his loved ones!!!! that literally plays into his character motives in every single part he shows up in!!! stop lying to me!!!!!!!
#me.txt#jjba#i'm going to ramble in tags actually. excuse me#ok. rereading sdc and so confused at the general perception of jotaro and his friends/family. he's not NEARLY as flat or as dickish#i understand that the anime (particularly the dub) tends to slander him but even then he still clearly cares for them! i'm confused#i also understand that a lot of people dig against jotaro and kakyoin as a dynamic because 'they're popular' and that generally disliking#popular things across media is a thing that i've seen consistently everywhere but the discredit to them simply as a DUO and not even as a#pairing is so..... odd..... like they're considered to be a duo that clicks for a reason. i enjoyed them even before i got into the fandom#every time i see someone say jotaro is overrated/dull i take a shot and assume they're an anime-only or only read the manga like once btw#joseph and jotaro also have a neat dynamic and they obviously both love and care for each other. like they're not going to go around loudly#or anything but literally the entirety of the lovers and the prelude to the dio fight IS jotaro being worked up over joseph getting hurt#equally i don't know if it translates to the anime as much but joseph is VERY complimentary when it comes to jotaro. like he sings his#praises so often and reminds everyone that he's his grandson so frequently (d'arby the gamer is a good example of this). either way it's so#peculiar....... there's not enough avdol and jotaro content btw (also in canon) because jotaro obviously looks up to him and avdol jokes#around with him on the occasion they interact after their intro which doesn't start very well. it's very cute#i do think an important thing to note about jotaro's character is how he acts AFTER his intro because he's so drastically different. early#jotaro and later jotaro aren't the same character and i do not mean this in a character development way. excluding the jail incident he's#completely different and probably shouldn't really be taken into account (especially considering the amount of slapstick in araki's intros)#and i think that's really???? what people center on for his character? Which sucks balls bad!#anyways. i could ramble more about this if asked i have so much to say but sigh. jotaro cares so much for his friends and family he's not a#flat fully cold asshole character regardless of whether you watch the anime or ova or read the manga. you just have poor media literacy#i wouldn't recommend watching solely the anime for his character though. the dub also changes a lot so it's... questionable#i love the anime and it's still important for him though. also adds neat stuff. i need to stop myself. i have many thoughts on the matter#jotaro kujo#joseph joestar#noriaki kakyoin#adding in case anyone sees: i am not saying that he is perfect about this. in fact he is very ass about it with jolyne and holly and that's#very important. he also is in fact an asshole sometimes. NOT as much as you guys are making him though!#please don't get me started on how much of a dick etc people make kakyoin to veer away from the 'woobified' characterizations of him#in fact i think that's bad if not worse because it CLAIMS to be in character. hes a prim asshole at times but not that angry or dishevelled
214 notes
·
View notes
Text
Pages from trying to keep a little sketchbook-scrapbook type thing going for two weeks lol. I gave myself specific rules in hopes they might all end up more cohesive/consistent seeming, but alas, scribbly chaos reigns, it seems
#sketchbook#scrapbook#Actually I feel like these are kind of incomprehensible in photo form like.. In person holding the book its easy to look at#but as images on this scale I feel like there's so much tiny little text and small scribles and stuff you'd have to 'right click > open#image in new browser tab > zoom in' just to actually really see the thing. which for 7 images is excessive lol.. so. probably not the best#medium for sharing really but. I suppose I thought they might look cooler lined up next to each other. The whole part of using a#limited color palette is so that maybe they kind of seem to have more consistent color schemes or something throughout. but I dont#know if they look all that 'related' or not. I think these types of challenges I have always sucked at because I am a being of clutter and#excess. I can't just do like one little simple nice looking design and have that Crisp Neat calligraphy with evenhanded perfect lines#and perfect symmetical composition and etc. etc. Like some poeple post very aesthetically clean and cohesive looking sketch#pages or something but I simply cannot hold back the brain impulse to add more. more. more. Fill every single blank space with color#or a little drawing or a sticker or something. I take away 500 things and there are still a million there. Even when I thik I'm being#'simplistic' I'm still usually being 2x more complicated and cluttered than the standard or whatever lol. I guess thats clear from my#outfits/costumes though too. Like whatever that saying is from that person about something like 'before you leave the house take off one#more accessory. you dont need it' for me is like.. 'before you leave the house. add 10 more accessories. and 6 more layers. and another'#AAANyway. I wonder if also maybe some people would try to plan theirs in a way to look good or something or like.. plot things on the page#before placing them. I did sometimes have a theme for a day kind of (like day 10 I ended up finding a few gold and green things and then#was like.. hey... what if I looked for a few other things and only used these colors today') but aside from that I was just slapping down#stickers randomly and working around them to fill the page. Maybe a lot of neat minimalistic asthetic design is about planning and#having a Vision set ahead of time. instead of just complete random whatever. doodling whilst watching youtube videos or eating lunch. It's#a miracle actually I've managed to not spill any food on the book the whole time. anyway.. I do wish the highlighter really showed up. the#scanner kind of makes the colors look VERY different to irl. But also it got much clearer images than just camera pictures of pages. alas..#..Still oddly enjoy the phrase 'Salisbury Steak gently kissed with industrial pollutants'#probably my favorite section of 'gluing random papers and things onto the page' lol#Also I wonder if it's super obvious that I literally never ever use references when I draw (save for the few freakish looking youtube#face sketches) since everyone is always in the same positions and looking very similar ghhb. This could have been a good opportunity to#work on not solely drawing from my mind and try to do more Dynamic Experimental scribbles. NO. Same exact eye for the 90th time#be upon ye. But I guess it was meant to be casual 'daily doodles'. True 'practice' would make it seem too effortful like a full project. hm#(lol the one decimated pencil in the set... never hand me a writing utensil. i will passively destroy it somehow. shaving the sides of a#pencil off with a knife or snapping a pen in half as a nervous fidget without even realizing i've done it. sorry to the drawing implements)
80 notes
·
View notes
Text
If somebody had warned me that playing Fallen London leads to thoughts like "As soon as I've left this island I'll have to collect some rats" and "None of these operas are worth getting kicked out of court for" and "I need to have more nightmares about storms" I would not have believed them. And yet, here we are.
#fallen london#The first is so I can get to the Labyrinth of Tigers because apparently going there makes stuff easier to grind#(I have a boat and I am trying to get back into the University as well; I am actually starting to regret getting kicked out)#The second is from. Well. When I got kicked out of court. Which I do not regret.#(Coincidentally I appear to be very good at being kicked out of places)#The third is simply because I want Stormy-Eyed because it's got a cool name
331 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think taking Jimmy at face value with his “attracted to cartoon horses” thing is a mistake. I think in hindsight, the subtext is pretty clear that he said that to make Anya uncomfortable. Taking him at face value is the mistake that curly makes (albeit curly thinks he’s joking).
I also don’t think depicting a Jimmy with morally taboo paraphilias is necessarily missing the point, but I do think there’s this impulse to make him ~sexually deviant~ in a way that serves to distance him from “normal society.” As if he isn’t supposed to be emblematic of it.
Like, I think if you’re genuinely trying to explore that, you have to grapple with the idea that Jimmy himself thinks he’s normal. He isn’t “deviant and loving it” or whatever. He isn’t a sadist knowing and loving the harm he’s doing.* He’s genuinely convinced himself he’s a normal guy. He does not want to grapple with the harm he’s done. Jimmy’s way of getting around guilt is refusing to admit he’s done anything he needs to feel guilty about.
Jimmy wouldn’t be secretly guilty and self-flagellating about it. (Actively. He DOES feel guilt, but subconsciously.) He also wouldn’t be openly “admitting” this to Anya if he were being serious. It’s a joke, Curly’s right to take it as such. But it’s subtextually a joke at Anya’s expense. Something to make her uncomfortable.
Thinking that Jimmy associating Polle with both Anya and the unborn baby is something that came first, as a serious thing before the joke, is a mistake imo. I think it’s something that comes back to bite him when the subconscious guilt starts getting a little less subconscious. A joke association twisted into a more serious one by Jimmy’s unrelenting refusal to see Anya as a person.
* The exception here is people Jimmy thinks “deserve” the harm being done to them. “Morally justifiable harm,” if you will. I think Jimmy does take some satisfaction from hurting a post-crash curly, for example, but he justifies that to himself with the idea that Curly “looked down on him in the same way” pre-crash. He always has to view the harm he does acknowledge doing as punching up harm. He always has to be the righteous one.
#mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing analysis#misogyny#tbc this isn’t about the posts that are clearly jokes#I think a lot of people are aware of this and simply wanna take cheap brony potshots at Jimmy#which. fair lmao#but I do think there is a wider problem of people just. refusing to engage with this character in any way that isn’t just#making him cartoonishly evil. making him ALL the bad things#Jimmy is in part supposed to be a mirror. something to prompt uncomfortable thoughts on how you yourself might rationalize-#your own harmful behaviors. Just taken to an extreme#and I get why people don’t want to engage with this. but I don’t think the solution is going ‘oh but if you DO engage with him like this-#it means you are a Bad Person while I am a Good Person bc I don’t want to acknowledge I could even be the same species as this guy’#because clearly what the game was going for is that denial of your own possibility/capacity for violence and harm is good actually /s#anyways. new year NOT new me another ten thousand walls of text abt mouthwashing be upon ye
67 notes
·
View notes
Text
--Really, Doctor?
#star trek#star trek fanart#spones#spones fanart#mcspirk if you squint#bones x spock#star trek tos#star trek the original series#bread and circuses#bones mccoy#spock#leonard mccoy#leonard bones mccoy#this scene gets quoted a lot as proof for spirk#which is all well and good! but i have also seen it quoted against spones (bones particularly.) and i am a bit tired of that admittedly#i do have my grievances but i shan't say. if you squint they're there in my art of course but oh mcspirk my mcspirk save me#almost captioned this with an italicized 'oh' but that should tell you all you need to know about my thought process for this lmaoo#the thing with drawing things with a meaning in mind is that i face the inconvenient side effect of thinking that explaining myself will be#--thoroughly embarrassing. i am working on it. but also having to explain my metaphors (which i should! but. alas)...#embarrassing. i do not know why this is embarrassing but i feel it acutely#and as such i may simply have to write a fic about it 🫠#ok things to note just so i remember: spock's expression. the light. the oh moment. the hands#and of course intimacy. i enjoy my soft old men and they will be married eventually#anyways i sat down to do work and drew this instead lmao ill deal with my lab prep before bed (if i don't end up starting my sixth wip in--#five days 💀💀💀 hlep#dust medibang paints#trek fave
139 notes
·
View notes
Text
Diabolik Lovers More, Blood Vol.3 Mukami Ruki Stellaworth Tokuten Bromide & Short Story Paper
Originally, these were tokutens you'd get for buying Ruki's CD through the Stellaworth store. Nowadays you might find them sold at flea markets or second hand stores. The story is written from Ruki's POV, and takes place right after the ending of his CD, with him and Yui still on the rooftop.
Enjoy the angst (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)d
(Don't repost anywhere!)
#my ramblings are at the bottom of the tags this time for anyone interested dhdjfj#dialovers#diabolik lovers#diahell#ruki mukami#yui komori#ruki x yui#mb ruki x yui#more blood#short story#diabolik lovers official art#mine#this actually made me a bit sad ;_;#now that i think about it ruki's early stories are all more or less angsty#which checks out#the man himself basically says outright (in DF i think) that he didn't know what happiness felt like before he met and fell in love with Yu#and he also mentions (can't remember where exactly) that he used to wish he had simply died as a human#that he saw no real meaning in his “second life”#so yes. he was in a very dark place emotionally at the start of the franchise#which is why his later routes/CDs/stories warm my heart so dang much#just the difference in his outlook and demeanor aughh. fuck. the feels fffffgdgdg *cries*#i am so normal about this man#speaking of which...the upcoming rukiyui story (which will be posted on friday whoooo!) is so fucking good omg#definitely one of my new faves#so look forward to that on friday ((o(*^∇^*)o)) can't wait to share it!#oh and the 9 other stories as well ig sgdg#they're kind of already fading from my awareness though cuz they're not rukiyui :p
61 notes
·
View notes
Text
You do not understand how important it is for me that Odysseus, after stringing the bow, did not immediately shoot Antinous, but first made sure to win the contest Penelope set up to prove himself as her husband again first and foremost before doing anything else.
#i know that it is something that is very logical thing to do#that with this action he also simply revealed who he was and announced his own name and right#however i cant stop thinking about this#it is just soooooo good#i mean#he wasn't simply “die for all that you've done”#but “you see? i completed the challenge none of you could because i am her husband which none of you could ever become#now die for all that you've done“#i love it so much#Odysseus#the odyssey#tagamemnon
57 notes
·
View notes
Note
hello! do u draw the maps and diagrams in the backgrounds on ur art by urself or do u use pre existing images or smth :0?
(like the map in ur most recent gaz work)
Haha, hell no! I could never have the patience or skill for that 🙆♀️ Most of my backgrounds for the latest COD art have been collage work. So for the Gaz one--I found a bunch of images through google and rearranged them how I wanted through mostly trial and error. yeah, if I had to draw a whole map of London by hand..💀
All these ones have backgrounds made through collage:
#asks#it's actually kinda hilarious that people think I draw the backgrounds 😅#my dudes#do you know how much time that would take 🙃🙃#gotta prioritize my pretty boys 'cause that's all I'm good for#I even showed my husband the gaz one#and he thought I drew the bg too#which I guess means he has a lot of faith in me 😂😂#I am simply a scrapbooker at heart~
288 notes
·
View notes
Text
insert joke abt glutton for punishment etc etc but truly i am that dude who reaches the end of every wayhaven book like waow...detective/A have come so far 🥰....
#something i think sera is very good at as a writer is introducing obstacles to romantic progression which feel like natural building blocks#introduced earlier and inherent characteristics to the respective RO#without the actual progression of the romance arc feeling stalled and static#unfortunately i AM a bit of snob abt the view that A's arc is going in circles#like for one. the primary hallmark trope associated with this route is the will they won't they back and forth tug#that's like. what the route revolves around and what distinguishes it from the others#(N is the romantic fairytale scared of failing this expectation and being rejected if truly known)#(F is the friends to lovers arc where the confict is primarily external to F themself but they are dogged by a fear of loss)#(M is the route where the RO only has context for FWB - regardless of if your detective is also doing this! - and thus has no lens to#really understand and identify falling in love for the first time)#A has like. progressed a shocking amount since Book 1. like everytime i reread i kind of get jolted remembering what the starting point is#you've gone from complete denial of attraction (both internally and externally to other characters)#-> denial of attraction externally but not internally (also warming a lot more to the detective openly)#-> acknowledgement of attraction fully that snowballs into a lot more open physical/verbal affection until you hit the roadblock of#'if i lost you i can only imagine a repeat of agonising loss' <- a formative experience of which A STILL hasn't moved on from or truly#allowed themselves to grieve and move past the survivor's guilt of#to then book 4 where its like. okay but what if you literally have to confront the reality of inevitable loss hurting you regardless of how#openly you attach yourself to the detective and also you feel directly responsible for because shouldering guilt is the only coping#mechanism youve entrenched yourself into since losing your family a 1000 years ago#and that's just a very basic read of the romamtic arc. A's arc also got shit like. trying to disassociate from the thing you hold#responsible for the death of said family. and in doing so simply refuse to recognise its continued existence within yourself#(arrogance - emotion etc etc) + everything going on w the monster motif#sorry i am insane about the vampire romance series#the wayhaven chronicles#tunes talks wayhaven
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
can i make a post about being irritated by antimaskers as a disabled person without annoying people trying to condescendingly explain accommodations for my disability to me! btw!
#like how poor is your reading comprehension that you don't understand that what i'm mad about is antimaskers' BAD FAITH invocation of#a disability that i have#like with these customer freaks i am making good faith attempts to accommodate them and they are rejecting those attempts and#refusing to work with me to identify and enact an accommodation#and instead just double down and harangue me for wearing a mask and keep insisting i take it off#which like. does not make me feel like these are good faith attempts to request accommodation#and are more likely antimasker customers trying to badger me into compromising my safety with like#a weaponized invocation of disability that if i'm being honest feels very flippant about the actual difficult lived reality of disabilty#so to be honest it feels VERY annoying to be condescended to by people on here lack reading comprehension and think that i#simply do not know enough about accommodations!#also to the person who brought up sign language in the replies it's actually a know language education and rights problem that#many Deaf/HOH don't know ASL or their contextual sign language and may not have access to opportunities to learn/practice/use it#so tbh i'm sure that person meant well but it did make me feel the exact same strangled rage#as when white people speak a bit of mandarin are like 'oh teehee i guess that makes me a better asian than you' like fuck OFF#at least no one has pulled a full how dare you say we piss on the poor yet but can people actually read things somewhat or at all#and not try to tumblrsplain hearing disabilities to me!!!!!!!#i'm soooooooo irate when i should be having pizza movie night with my beautiful girlfriend i think i'm gonna turn off reblogs on that post#the horrible temptation to reply really rudely then block#personal nonsense#eta: also to be clear the sign language issue is that even if i hadn't studied asl (i have)#it wouldn't actually be a silver bullet for communicating with people who rely on lip reading#so like......that just comes off very ignorant to act like i'm too stupid to think of that#or like it's a simple solution that people with hearing disabilities are just forgetting about
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
.(personal)
#signing off for some time#i have some things to sort through 🫡#please expect something relating to au yvverse on valentines day! (i will be back by then)#a non-snz journal entry before i leave (not expecting anyone to read this):#i think writing humor is an interesting challenge#i remember reading a book in uni where i thought the narration was very interesting and pleasing and sharp#but then reading the reviews for it half a year later and seeing people say 'i couldn't stop laughing when i was reading this' / 'people#on the train were giving me weird looks because i was laughing so hard / this is the funniest book i've read all year' etc. and i remember#feeling distinctly confused... i had not registered that the irony and the sharp commentary were supposed to be funny; they were simply#texturally interesting to me 😭 i also remember submitting a short story draft and having a professor say in workshop 'your writing is very#funny. it reminds me of [movie he liked] which i also found to be very funny'#and i was like 😃❓ (i had also not intended for the story to be funny. but i thought it was a compliment that he read it that way)#humor is so inexplicable to me#i'm working on a series which i actively want to be funny and every time i write out a joke i'm like... fretting a little internally#like do i even know what humor is 😭😭 it's like this relay race exercise where (1) i hand off a scene and (2) the audience interprets it as#playfulness... neither of us is allowed to drop the baton in order for this to work 🏃♀️ it's a little scary??!! it feels so vulnerable#i think it's an interesting problem... trying to find all of these little pockets where i can modulate the tone towards playfulness#alsooooo unrelated... these days i find myself feeling the instinctive need to apologize to everyone 😭 i thought i would be fine#but now looking at myself i'm like... girl something is broken here 😭‼️ i tried rephrasing this in like 10 different ways and#nothing seemed right. anyways for good measure: i am sorry#truthfully i still feel like just half a person sometimes#perhaps i shall reemerge from this break metamorphosed into someone more tolerable 🐛 -> 🦋
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
making a new post bc the other one is pretty bulky, im about to be severely overdrafted when i pay my rent in a few days and i really really really cant let that happen :( pls if you have anything to spare i'd appreciate it, im in the process of finding a new job because my current one refuses to give me hours. im transmasc and i dont have a car so finding a job has been difficult but im doing everything i can to make ends meet. even just spreading this around helps
pp: paypal.me/bewearrr
vnm: tobias_leviathan
thank you 🥺💕
90/450
#ive been rejected from multiple jobs simply because I don't have a car. even the ones i dont need to travel for#i have drivers license and a bus route but thats not good enough#its not like i even tell them i dont have a car either like they Find Out or theres some situation where i have to disclose that info#which feels illegal but whatever#anyways i am so fucking hopeless for the future im so terrified idk how im gonna pay my bills next month#ive tried asking for more hours at my current job but they dont care!!!! they dont fucking care!!!!!#idk how i went from having full time hours to working one day a week so suddenly but i hate it#and the worst part is theyre really guilt trippy about it and the managers are constantly talking abt it in the group chat#like they have all these extreme standards they only give you hours if you go way above and beyond in every aspect#even my good coworkers have been getting their hours cut#like even the IMPORTANT people arent getting hours#its fucked up!!!! never ever ever work for sheetz its a fucking nightmare#ive signed up for multiple temp agencies and none of them have given me any leads#im working on comms every day but it takes me so long to work on one piece that the process has been slow#im about to apply to work at fucking mcdonalds or something like its THAT bad rn i really dont want to but what other choice do i have
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
wishing that the hype for sonic 3 would just die already because im tired of hearing about it vs knowing that the suffering wouldnt truly be over because theyre talking about making a fourth movie . hell on earth
#sorry i was keeping my haterisms to myself for a while there but im still a hater regardless#well i havent actually watched it so maybe its not That bad but what im hearing about it certainly doesnt make it seem good either ........#i liked the first two movies but i simply do not trust these writers to adapt the characters and stories i love anymore#anyway i would say i wish we could just move on to the next sonic thing and forget about the movies#but i also know that no new sonic media release could ever overshadow a new movie#which is also annoying the fact that the movies get so much more attention than other sonic media frustrates me for many reasons#and like. i try to curate my online experience or whatever people call it i blakclisted most tags related to the movie#but it still feels like its everywhere even then both online and offline#help i just remembered that i got a big spike in followers immediately after the movie came out#and i havent really siad anything negative about the movie since then . um. looks around all scared#not that i think i shouldnt be allowed to have a different opinion or am scared of offending anyone#i just know a lot of sonic movie fans get weird about criticism from game fans and i dont feel like dealing with that
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
#metal gear#metal gear solid#mgs#kazuhira miller#venom snake#vkaz#the more i think abt it the more convinced i am that i became a kaz (& venom; just less) / vkaz enjoyer solely bc of those fucking gifs#pretty sure y'all know which ones.#like i was a raiden enjoyer but then i actually got into mgs n those gifs appeared a lot n there are so many analysis posts n they're just.#kaz decided to build his own paradise inside my head#he simply looks good w whoever you pair him with...#EDIT: I DIDN'T KNOW THE PIC I USED WAS FROM A FJCKING VINE BJT IT'S LITERALLY THEM EITHR WAY LMAO
127 notes
·
View notes
Text
wow ive been kind of off lately I should take a day to rest an[explosion]
#[.art]#self#complaining tag#I'm good. I needed to draw about it but I'm good. it's fine. whatever#love it when I barely ask you for money to Live outside of gifts and 30 a month. and then you withold the gift SOMEONE ELSE GAVE ME#that's fine it's totally not as if I told you I need that money before. and you decided I was a bit too mean#about you compiling a document I Need To in order to keep the room and board in the place I am living in. by the way#she proceeded to change topic completely to the weather and forget about anything ive told her on the clothes I have here#or about the courses I follow. she takes notes for my sister's classes but cannot be bothered to remember i dont have exams in april#that's fineeee it's fine. it's fine. I know my sistser needs the help and I don't. I would rather die than ask for her help anyways#you can at least pretend to forget about both of us equally instead of telling me I should graduate in two years because im smart enough#which I am not. by the way. At least when I will fail at something I'll have the opportunity to tell her I told you so thank god#dont get me wrong i know her giving me compliments is a good thing I just sort of wish the were things actually about me#and not about the idea she has about me being some kind of prodigy that's simply too lazy to actually be exceptional. anyways
59 notes
·
View notes