#which could very well break
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Anyway im done with the hack my home posting
#this is a lie#heres the rest of it 1) they hate each other 2) most of their design is NOT reflecting the clients needs#3. the order in which they show the clients the makeover is so ridiculous they have this man walk into his basement where the primary concer#n has been āi cant work in here while the kids play in hereā#and the VERY last thing they show him is the hidden office#which could very well break#very easily#like why for the love of god does it need to be voice activated#theyve put his work computer AND his kids toys in these automatic shelving units#one day theyre going to have a very very bad day#AND THEY PUT THE BOOKS ON THE SHELVES BACKWARDS#WHAT FUCKING SADISTIC FREAK DOES THAT#watching dita von teeses ad tour now to recover
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I decided to start talking about Wick and Rocky's relationship because I like their dynamics too, I like seeing Wick scared of Rocky and Rocky being aggressive with him, which is unusual because Rocky is rarely aggressive with anyone, but of course Wick is an exception to rule
Also my mini opinion about their possible relationship, I think that if Rocky didn't have to fight for his place, then he and Wick could become friends, or at least tolerate each other a little, I also see some superficial similarities, their gentlemanly and romantic natures, and their common love for explosions (remembering the quarrymen chapter), but this is my assumption, I think that I don't understand the characters' personalities well, so I can be wrong in this assumption, something like that. So, what do you think about their relationship?
for starters, i cannot thank you enough for this ask! as iāve said previously, i have many thoughts on these two, so itās nice to finally be able to share some of them. although given the extent to which i think about them, i apologize in advance if this is sloppy and sort of everywhere ā¦ while iāll try to structure things the best i can, i cannot promise iāll succeed! but hopefully this is an enjoyable reply nonetheless.
one of my favorite things about rocky and wickās relationship is absolutely how aggressive rocky is towards the aristocrat ; he is prone to glares and cruel jokes and borderline hissing whenever the man is within his line of sight, or can be brought to a wailing-fit over the mere mention of his name from miss mās mouth. there is a childishness to it, but a very prominent threat as well in spite of rockyās usual incompetence. so he goes out of his way to posture around wick, readily lying and adorning himself with the gangster drapes he so badly wants to wear, in the hopes that it intimidates ā¦ will even badmouth wickās family and make fun of his name and rock related obsession to mitzi, and so on so forth! yet all of this is very reminiscent of schoolyard bullying rather than anything too severe, though we as the audience understand rather quickly that rocky would bash wickās head in with a tire iron if he could. ( translation : if it wouldnāt earn the tears or hate of a certain beloved mitzi may ) and itās all very intense despite the absence of actual violence! and i understand why many fans see this as unusual for rocky and believe that itās only wick who makes him act so aggressively, but iād argue it isnāt really wick at all that prompts such scary reactions from him ā¦ and that rocky is a deeply angry character whoās a.) been boiling quietly for a long, long time and b.) has turned wick into a punching bag of sorts for this inner world of resentment and hurt. basically, when heās judging the well-to-do or poking fun, his eyes donāt look at wick and actually acknowledge him as sedgewick sable ; instead this is a being, something vague and metaphorical, who threatens to upseat rockyās permanence in the lackadaisy and steal away his savior, and heās had a hand in the violinistās misfortune for a long time.
obviously, rocky doesnāt think wick robbed him of his family twice over and made him homeless, but he is channeling the fear and anguish of those events into his loathing for wick, if that makes sense? itās easier that way -- to finally have an outlet for everything bleeding inside of you, to be able to bite and claw at something without feeling conflicted or having to take personal accountability for your own mistakes ā¦ which is something that i think rocky does struggle with to a degree. he is sort of a finger pointer! his pain has to be worth something, it has to be for someone else ; spending years homeless and losing his last bit of family was for freckle, and the scrambling of his literal brain was for mitzi, and that means he canāt ever be angry with them! well, except that he is, somewhat, but he buries it deep down instead of feeling it. with freckle there is a sense of strain between them -- an air of āyou owe meā from rocky to freckle as he uses freckle to appease miss m, and he constantly pokes fun at his cousin too. itās lighter than his jabs at wick, but thereās a constant pestering, a reminder of how good freckle has it : how heās got the mom and the house and the job and the girl most notably. i donāt think rocky is intending to come across as mean, and to his credit he hardly does! but itās rather clear to me that some part of him, some hidden and deeply hurt part, is rather indignant about taking the fall for freckle all those years ago. which he canāt understand, because how could he? he made that choice, he decided to take accountability for something he didnāt do because he loves freckle and knows itād be so easy to believe this family tragedy was roarkās fault ; the devilish child he was, all troublesome and too broken to properly fit anywhere. so there is a disconnect born here, where rocky canāt comprehend that heād be angry at freckle, so instead these not so great feelings are placed elsewhere and silently boil over time. and with mitzi ā¦ i donāt think heās angry at her per se, but there is a frustrated and desperate chorus of : why him and why not me, when iām the one out here dying for you? which is certainly unpleasant. of course, rather than allowing those feelings to be more aimed at miss m, whom he feels unloved by, he ( again! ) represses these emotions and allows them to fester into his greatest fears and fantastical complexes. i think there is a lot of other miscellaneous anger he could have towards others too ā¦ perhaps some part of him is sore upon seeing ivyās normal lifestyle, watching her go to university and knowing thatās been taken from him. or an ache felt when hearing stories from zib and the band and how they used to travel successfully, living as nomads, and rocky is all too reminded of his similar lifestyle and how he couldnāt make it work as effortlessly. people with immense trauma are more prone to irrational anger and jealousy, to viewing everything around them as unfair and believing itās even more unjust that so many people get to live comfortably while theyāve suffered. a situation that gets more messy when youāre someone like rocky, a man whoās willingly made choices that have harmed himself and wants to continue on with his smiling, bumbling fool of an act. he does not want to be angry, does not want to see it within himself, i think, which leads to an accidental increase of it.
all of this is to reiterate that wick is a scapegoat for rocky and nothing more. itās why heās rather hypocritical whenever it concerns the man. for example, it was stated by tracy that he looks down upon wick for his excessive presence at the bar, yet he appears to enjoy hanging out with zib -- who drinks just as often! he makes fun of how all wick ever talks about is rocks, when he himself is prone to poetry rambles that people find irritating or boring, and etc etc. this is also just a human nature thing, to critique someone you heavily dislike and even going as far as to belittle things you love or do in your own day to day because you just hate them that bad! but given rockyās willingness to befriend anyone, it more so reeks of a dehumanization element. wick is every obstacle in his way, every divine force that threatens to send him packing again, so he is equal parts unnerved by wickās presence and angry about it. it is mostly a fear response we are seeing, an emotion thatās morphed into long held resentment and anger. so his actions are extremely defensive, with him trying to push wick far away and keep him and mitzi separate, like some sort of animal attempting to ward off a threat thatās come too close to their home. despite the loaded animosity there, this hate has hardly reached its peak ā¦ but it shall only grow more intense as things continue onward iām afraid, since as it stands ( in the comic at least ) rocky is at an all time low ā¦ and is ten times more desperate. iād honestly say wick has become so warped in his mindās eye that he can only strive towards āwinningā over the other man, because thatās all he can see anymore. i think mitzi implying that wick willingly helped her out, the intense head injury, and rockyās fragile emotional state is exactly what pushes him towards premeditated murder in look-see. i donāt know how people perceive that arc, but to me itās very clear that rocky actively sought to see the deaths of wes and fish that night. going as far as to lament that heād be, āvery disappointed if ( he ) dreamed them,ā and purposefully luring the marigold duo away to have freckle pick them off. while you could argue that this was a smart move, in a gangster sort of sense, thereās still no denying that rocky is oddly chipper about the whole thing and is now seeking death out ; whereas before his methods of vengeance were just, well, ruining peopleās livelihood but ultimately leaving them alive. this isnāt to discredit the fact that rocky is going through something! he is in a very muddled and dark place, mentally and physically, but even tracy has said that the head injury hasnāt changed rockyās personality -- itās only brought things to the surface.
source : q&a with tracy .
which, yeah! makes sense! head trauma can cause a person to become a wreck emotionally ( think mood swings, irritability, etc ) but it doesnāt completely morph someone either. personality changes may occur, but itās not like youāre being rewritten entirely, you know? and given tracyās old statement, itās clear that āpersonality changesā arenāt a side effect heās suffering from. something that adds to my beginning statement, which is that rocky is a deeply angry and troubled person, more so than fans give him any credit for.
however, to touch upon your mini opinion about these two, i actually wholeheartedly agree that rocky and wick could become friends if circumstances were different. they do in fact have many superficial similarities, but one of the more prominent things they deeply share is never really belonging in the groups they frequent. this is more overt with rockyās character, yet wick faces it too in subtle ways. the well-to-do crowd, seen through the investors, find the gentleman to be lacking in about every place imaginable ; to them he is an obsessive freak who cares too deeply for meager rocks, something they constantly mock him for, while heās also being noticeably set apart from the rest of them ā¦ he seems younger than the investors, more excitable, passionate, and a little less experienced, and doesnāt seem to care for money or reputation as much as them either. there is a constant rubbing between him and them, where what he enjoys is seen as wrong, such as his love for the lackadaisy and his choice in paramor, a grieving widow with extremely dangerous ties. we also know that wick doesnāt have many friends at all, with the only two he has being lacy and church ( church is listed as such on his character profile, in a sort of tongue-in-cheek way ), both of whom work for or with him. they are obliged to hang around, and while they care in varying ways, they are prone to judging him just as much. honestly, itās not shocking that wick seeks refuge at his chosen speakeasy! but even there he is rather distant from everyone else. he doesnāt speak to zib ever in the comics, nor seems all too close with viktor, ivy, or horatio ā¦ it is merely mitzi he is close to, even if he knows of the other people who work there. and, once again, wick very obviously doesnāt fit in. he is not gangster material, could never be an atlas may replacement, much less someone who could get his paws dirty in such an active way. so he has his feet in two different worlds and doesnāt know how to fit into either of them, or which one he actually wants to fit into more. i think in many ways rocky could relate -- these are two very lonely people who wish to belong somewhere and be accepted by some group or another but go about it in all the wrong ways. wick, who is too hesitant to fully commit to what he wants and is worse off for it, and then rocky, who obsessively throws himself against what he wants until he breaks every bone in his body. they also have explosives to bond over, lol, and other miscellaneous things like their taste in women i suppose ā¦ but this potential bond adds to the tragedy of lackadaisy, where we see two people who on every level should get along but weāre burdened with the knowledge that itās an impossibility anyway, because thereās no removing the circumstance of which theyāre in.
though i like to believe that despite wickās fear of rocky, he maintains a kindness towards him regardless. i think his worries about rocky are rather surface level ā¦ he doesnāt know the boy at all, really, and thus canāt make heads or tails of him, hence him believing the lie in balderdash. so when iām feeling particularly self indulgent, i like imagining a world where theyāre forced together and sort of āstuckā together ; to which rocky finally breaks and exposes his wounds to wick, in every sense of the word, and wick finally gets him. the aggression, the possessiveness of mitzi ā¦ it is all fear and desperation and a profound sadness, things heād sympathize with. if rocky was able to explain that he loathes wick because if he saves the lackadaisy then mitzi wonāt need him anymore and that itās not fair that wick gets to so easily fix things when rocky would give his soul for his home, for her, and how wick could render every sacrifice heās already made for naught by smoothing things over with some greenbacks and he canāt lose this, he just canāt --! ā¦ which, well, wick is too kind of a man to be able to do anything except feel awful, even though itās not his fault at all. here we have two people who could coexist! and they should, since rocky logically canāt do every speakeasy job ( band member, rumrunner, mitziās shadow, also the guy who gets the money for the hooch ) by himself, just like how wick canāt save the lackadaisy with only his cash and limited booze stash. itād be a joint cooperation, a collaboration between them, both equally important in the grand scheme of crimeās every turning wheel ā¦ but rockyās rage and fear wonāt let him see that, and likely never will. still, in scenarios where everything ends up alright for the lackadaisy and the people involved in it ( which is not how canon will go, by the way ), i fancy wick and rocky getting better within their relationship. rocky will always be prickly and quick to upset around the other man sadly, but perhaps he could see wick in a softer kind of light. or at least understand vaguely enough that he isnāt out to get rocky, so to speak. and then maybe wick learns that pancakes soothe rockyās ire and poorly makes them anytime he wishes to talk to the man, and other fun things like that! but you should have more confidence in your character analysis skills, because you were spot on ( at least in my eyes ) about them potentially getting along if things were different. itās certainly a fun aspect to play around with, and is important to note when discussing their relationship so you can fully understand just how warped rockyās perspective on things are. and how unstable and traumatized he is too, of course </3 sidenote, but i also hope that throughout everything iāve said here, or anything iāve said before on my blog, that my love for rocky and my own sympathy for him comes across well enough. while heās deeply flawed and i have no qualms discussing said flaws in depth, i also donāt think of him as some insane freak whoās evil at his core or anything like that. honestly, i adore analyzing him so much as a character because of how far down his issues go! heās very well written, iāll say, as is wick and many of the other characters, but i digress.
once more, thank you for the ask! iāll end this here because i fear if i donāt iāll start going in circles, since their relationship is so vast and very important for rocky in a character sense. hopefully i shed some more light on it though! i love these two to bits and pieces and i wouldnāt be half as invested in lackadaisy if their dynamic wasnāt so monumental -- at least to me.
#my asks.#lackadaisy analysis.#lackadaisy#rocky rickaby#sedgewick sable#tracy j butler#i also think rockyās sudden taste for marigold blood is him making marigold his other scapegoat#he isnāt dealing with anything in a healthy manner and is so traumatized itās starting to spill out of him ā¦ which is. uh. not good!!#but it sure is whatās currently happening regardless#cannot stress enough that rock is a very ill and traumatized individual who hasnāt had a single break in his life#he is constantly in stressful situations that are dangerous ā¦ and like.#when youāre constantly put in those situations you become numb. and angry. and it becomes hard to heal#or to truly connect to others ā¦ etc#i could talk in depth about rockyās traumas and why theyāve caused this anger issue and this inner disharmony inside#because frankly thereās a lot there! and i hate to say it but people who are hurt normally show their hurt in ugly ways#especially if mentally ill ā¦ which rocky is imo#itās just the reality of things! this isnāt me demonizing mental illness or the effects of trauma. iām just being realistic here#someone as deeply troubled as rocky ( someone with NO outlet and whom hides his feelings from others and himself )#is bound to be. well. troubled!! his smiling facade is merely another mask he wears to cope and to be good for the people he loves#it is not ā¦ really rocky rickaby ā¦ rocky rickaby is that and the wrath and the self destruction and more#AHEM but i digress. how rocky treats wick and all that has really done wonders for understanding his character#and i truly love the wick / rocky / mitzi trio so bad. their relationships with each other is what drew me into this world#like. i am shaking them so much. the overlap!! the complexities inherit in their bonds and what that says about the individual characters!#itās amazing truly lol like ā¦ i have had such fun thinking about them twenty four seven for the past three-ish months#anyway. anyway! i love analyzing these bitches. they can fit so much into them#and iām rooting for wickmitzi endgame and for wick to desperately try to bond with rocky ā¦ while his bloodshot eye is twitching as we speak#lots of fun!!! lots of pain and agony too ā¦ rocky is nothing but a painful character alas. that is his nature. but that is also his appeal#and ooops iāll shut up in the tags now i just. have a lot to say. and a lotta love to give to these two!! but uh. yeah <3 loved writing thi
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I wouldn't really agree that boys are just arm candy in magical girl shows and only there to look cute. Yeah, sure the girls' friendships are the focus, but the boys are usually very much involved in the plot and most shows do explore their feelings about the odd things that happen due to magical shenanigans even if they aren't in the know (It's why ML baffles me even more with how they screwed up Adren's arc when he's the deuteragonist, when all these boys are supporting cast and get well rounded arcs)
I'm not much of a winx fan, but the specialists were very much not arm candy. Did the girls talk about them being cute? Yes, it's what teenage girls do. Did the narrative suggest they were good looking? Yes, but that's standard for most love interests in any genre. But we still got scenes with them talking amongst themselves about how they themselves feel and they got a fair share of badass fight scenes even if they wield no magic. A large amount of episodes actually included the boys and girls working as a team solving a mystery or fighting a villain. The girls might deal the finishing blow but the boys were still integral to the plot.
I hope this doesn't come across as hate, it definitely wasn't my intention. I'm just a bit too passionate about the magical girl genre.
I do think you have a good point with ML having a problem choosing a genre or blending two genres successfully.
For the CCS fans, I will add though that Cardcaptor Sakura had both Tomoyo and Syaoran serve as sources of motivation for Sakura. And both Sakura and Syaoran collecting cards even if Sakura is the only one who could seal them and yet never made you question whether Syaoran was even necessary for the job the way ml does with Chat.
I wasn't trying to say that boys have no part to play in magical girl team shows or that they're always treated as having no lives beyond the girls, that's why I mentioned that the Winx Club boys - aka, the Specialists - have their own (mostly off screen) lives and occasionally show up help the girls:
the boys are usually off doing their own thing and only occasionally show up for a date or to give the girls a ride on their cool bikes or magical spaceship
Even then, this is certainly a simplification of the roles that they play in the story, but I kind of had to simplify their roles down to their base components for the original post's discussion as I was talking in broad strokes of how these stories are written.
In terms of those broad strokes, the Specialists are absolutely only there for shipping fodder. That's why each one is assigned to a girl from the start and why their main role in the narrative is supporting their assigned love interest or causing relationship-based drama for their assigned love interest. If it weren't for shipping, then the Specialists would not exist.
While the Specialists do have fleshed out characters and may even effect the plot, the execution of those elements is designed around the girls. A really obvious example of this is the character Timmy, who has character development as the boy's tech guy. Why is he into technology? Because he's the designated love interest for the fairy of Technology and we have to show why they're a good match. Along similar lines, the boys don't really get plots that are removed from the girls because this is the girl's show. Every episode features one or more of the Winx, but the boys are optional and often don't appear.
This is because, narratively speaking, the boys are just love interests and that brings us back to Miraculous' big problem. You can't have a show where Adrien is written like a Specialist while also being part of the Winx Club and where Alya is written like she's part of the Winx Club while technically being more of a Specialist in terms of power set and actual narrative role.
I'm was thinking back to my memories of various Winx Club plots to find one that really highlighted what I mean here and I remembered that one of the big dramas in season one was the reveal that Bloom's love interest - Sky - was in an arranged marriage and had just never told her. As it turns out, that's a great example of what I'm talking about re Adrien!
Is that plot line technically based around Sky and letting his life effect the plot? Sure, but the fallout of that reveal revolves around Bloom, not Sky. The story doesn't really care how Sky's feeling as the conflict progresses. Instead, it focuses on how it affects Bloom and her friends because of course it does! She's the main character. It would be really weird if that plot suddenly focused on her side character love interest and his friends during one of her darkest hours/biggest moments.
Think of that and then consider how the ending of season five is written. Notice any similarities? Sure, this is Adrien's family drama, but because he's just a Specialist, the focus isn't on him. It's on Winx Club member Marinette and Adrien only shows up at the end for a kiss. That is the problem. That is what I'm talking about when I say that Miraculous will randomly write him as if we're watching a magical girl team show where Adrien is just the love interest.
In fact, let's really dig into this example because it's a good one.
You can have a look at the transcript for the finale episode of Miraculous season five here and see for yourself that Adrien doesn't even show up on screen until the final scenes when the big drama is over. The Winx Club wiki also has episode transcripts, so I took a look to see what happened in Winx land during the arranged marriage reveal plot (I love that this is a thing. It's so useful for fact checking myself!) This is the script for the episode after Bloom learns the truth. Sky does not appear even though his lies and family drama are the fuel for this episode's events, which are a major part of the season's arc. Note how perfectly that matches Adrien's writing?
Similarly, Sky's dialogue in the reveal episode is all about Bloom. He's worried about her learning the truth and thinking less of him. To match that, here's Adrien's only real dialogue in the penultimate episode of season five (full transcript):
Adrien:(Covers his ears.)Ā I cannot transform...Ā (Looks at his ring and tries taking it off.) Plagg:Ā What are you doing?! Adrien:Ā I'm not in my right mind. I'm too angry ā at myself for falling short of Marinette's love, at my father for sending me here in London, at this stupid app and these rings that use my image... it makes me sick! This nightmare is giving me the horrible feeling that, if I transform, I'll getĀ akumatizedĀ and destroy everything with myĀ CataclysmĀ ā Marinette, Ladybug...Ā (Takes off the ring and hands it to Plagg.)
Switching back to Winx. After Bloom learns the truth about Sky, bad things happen because she's depressed. This results in her and the Winx going off on a journey to learn the truth of who Bloom is. After the girls share this big plot moment and Bloom gets her mojo back, the boys show up to be their ride home and to give Bloom her romance moment where Sky wins her back by declaring that he broke off the arranged married because he loves her.
Sky notably doesn't get an arc about choosing between his arranged marriage and his true love. We don't even know that the marriage is broken off until he tells Bloom because that was never really a conflict as far as the narrative was concerned. Of course he's going to pick Bloom! He's her designated side character love interest! He only exists to be with her. We don't need to treat this as a serious thing for him. The arranged marriage plot was never about him anyway. It was about giving Bloom a reason to have a darkest hour moment that moves the plot forward. Similarly, Sky calling off the marriage is nowhere near as important as him telling Bloom that he's called off the marriage to be with her in a grand romantic gesture.
This perfectly mirrors Miraculous' season five ending where Adrien doesn't appear until after Marinette is done fighting her big girl power fight against his father. As far as the writing is concerned, that fight isn't about him. His connection to the villain only really matters in terms of how it affects Marinette's actions during the final battle. Then, when the battle is over, Adrien shows up to give Marinette her big romance moment because, while the plot may be driven by Adrien's family, he is not a Winx club member. He's just a Specialist. Or, in the words of the head writer:
[image text: She's Barbie, he's Ken. You don't like it. I get it. It won't change. Anything else?] (The full, even more damning context of this tweet can be found here.)
What else can I say other than, "I rest my case."
Oh, and also that I didn't take this as an attack. I just thought it was a good opportunity to really dig into the nuances of this and what I was talking about in that original post as I never know how obvious this stuff is if you don't closely study story telling. As this case study hopefully shows, if a show is about a group of girl friends using the power of friendship, then their love interests may have important roles, but the boys are never going to be more important than the girls and most of the boy's screen time will be focused on romance and how their existence effects the girls because it's ultimately the girls' world. Without them, the show wouldn't exist. Without the boys? Well, then we just wouldn't have a romance plot.
#ml writing critical#ml writing salt#adrien deserves better#ml season 5 salt#btw I had no idea how well this example would work until I pulled up the Winx club scripts and started laughing#Like damn! I could not have picked a better one if I'd been actively looking to highlight what I was talking about!#I just picked the first one that came to mind#Thank you Winx for being textbook perfect in how Magical Girl Team Shows tend to handle these plots#Seriously go read through those transcripts! It's such a perfect example of what I'm talking about!#Look how everything about Sky is focused on Bloom even though he's the one breaking off an engagement and damaging his family relationships#Not saying this is poorly written btw I'm just pointing out the difference between writing a main character and a love interest#If Sky was a main character then we'd have gotten a lot more focus on him trying to pick a path for his future#But he's a love interest so his future is already written in stone and what's written there is a single word: Bloom#look! I can use his Twitter feed to make points too!#But I would never JUST use his Twitter feed#I only use it when there's backing in the actual text which there very much is here#Anyone want me to talk about what these plot lines would look like in a show where romance was top dog or is that obvious?
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so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-
but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again
(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)
i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)
weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward
but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.
right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#sorta#suicide attempt mention in the IRL stuff im talking about in the following tags btw#theres some construction stuff on our house going on#and my father is extremely stressed about it#he used to be very explosive- being silent and then exploding out of nowhere .. probably left me with lasting damage yippie-#but now he much more lets it eat at himself bc hes old and feels bad for the past stuff so now it makes him irritated and depressed#my older brother is the most normal cis straight guy you can imagine and incredibly impatient and bossy (you CANNOT talk with him)#(brother doesnt live in our house)#and while hes helping out hes doing it exactly how my father doesnt like and since you cant talk to the guy (explosive +200) it stresses hi#to the point of my father yesterday saying that āit would have been better if i had just died back in the dayā#likely referring to the time when he was drafted for the military against his will and tried to kill himself#which i learned only like .. a year ago- theres so little my parents tell me ....#its like my mother telling me- while my father was in hospital for heart surgery- that she not only almost died back when i was a young tee#and only survived bc of some incredibly unebelievable lucky coincidences (medics on a travel being there that knew what she had-#-while our local doctors said welp- nothing we can do lady AND them beign there with a helicopter and emergency transferring her#to antoher bigger hospital while giving her immediate treatment our local one didnt do- AND at the big one just so happened to have-#-an expert on that illness in the facility when she arrived who was able to narrrowly save her life#BUT ALSO while she was recovering and weak and frail as a dust bunny witnessing someone stealing hospital surplies-#not noticing she was in the room at first (which .. the nurses left her in the nurse room while going on break ... which uhm .. yeah cool)#and if my mother hadnt acted in time like she was fully asleep and the lady stealing stuff beign in hurry- she might have killed her#without my mother being able to fight back bc she could barely even talk (the nurses didnt want to believe her when they got back either)#ANYWAY that comment from my father brough me to tears#and my mom is trying out more ... other medication shes not prescribed in hopes of it helping agaisnt her many pains#but i worry it will interact with the other stuff shes on ...#and i worry so much about both of their mental and physical well being#always trying to be the one to calm them down or help with communication bc that is a big problem in this houesehold#but i myself am also a very much not normal and not medicated shut in who has trouble dealing even with my own feelings
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Hello, another doodle compilation post of everything I haven't posted since the period of May to now that I didn't hate but didn't like enough to post on its own + fanart i made of @catboymoments's fankids Azura and Hyacinth! I'm not normally a fankid person but these guys are a whole moment unto themselves I love them sm. ID in alt text bc it was getting lengthy! Let me know if there's any issues
#the owl house#toh#luz noceda#willow park#gus porter#hunter toh#(he's there too! just very small. let me have this)#i had a lot of fun trying to figure out Hyacinth and Azura! they were unfamiliar so it was a challenge#hyacinth especially doesn't have a face I'd normally draw but i ended up really enjoying getting out of my comfort zone for him#i hope all the details translated well and that i interpreted aspects of their designs correctly?#i ended up accidentally giving Azura a slightly hooked nose bc i for some reason thought she had one? also struggled w/ her mouth a tad#but i decided to keep it in bc it made her face more unique lol. i already draw amity with a hooked nose so it kind of makes sense#you could say it's from alador though (which was also how i justified the way i drew her mouth since i normally draw Luz's differently-#-just imagine she got it from Camila)#also i recognize thst Hyacinth's cane arm is wonky?? really sorry about that! he was leaning on it a certain way in the ref photo#and i tried to replicate that but. eh#It's been a weird difficult time art wise recently#mainly cause of the hiatus I had to take cause of exams that I'm still recovering from.#Probably gonna end up taking another art/posting break (though we'll see how that all plays out??)#it's been a weird few weeks but not bad. I'm just kind of. trying to remain chill!#kinds wanna rewatch but I'm always afraid I'll overindulge and get sick of the shows i love š but also the longer i go w/o rewatching#the more insane i become. like the joker#I've also been slightly back into comics recently and it sucks. i hate it here fr let me out#but yeah that's where we are rn at ladel studios. just chilling i think!#i like it. gonna see if i can cultivate it as a skill
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my gay son
#aka filet crochet that took me 9 months to complete#this is not new he has been in the closet for about four years. hes auite heavy as well so ive not worn him very often.#anyway to me he's not really a scarf he's just a big old rectangle to me#and the blocking on this is actually sooo bad bc as u may be able to tell that thing is gigantic and i ran out of black thread and the stor#where i bought it way on summer break so i bought black thread somewhere else and i thought it was the same yarn weight but it was ever so#slightly thicker so the last ~10 rows are really wavy. thats issue no 1 the second problem with the hugeness was that i just had nowhere i#could block it on so i mcgyvered a solution which was a wool blanket tucked over my sheets and i blocked it on there and i wore my#bathing suit to sit on it to block bc it didnt work any other way. and then come night time of course it was still wet (even tho i pointed#blowdryer at it for so long that the blowdryer switched off by itself due some child safety mechanism) and i had to take it off my bed so i#could sleep on it. so yes the blocking is a bit wonky#crochet#mine
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Every day I am haunted by the fact JJK could be amazing but it will be just idk Bleach or something
#I've seen a lot of people complaining about the fact that it's impossible to fit the ending of every unfinished arc#in the five chapters that remain for the manga to end for good#And it all just... legitimises my fear and apprehension haha#And it's a pity! It's a pity! The dynamics were so good! And yet nothing! Sukuna was so good! And yet nothing!#It was so nice how he seemed to play with the idea of transcending human categories and values but even the values of curses so to speak#Well beyond everything. Well beyond positive/creative nihilism even! He was not like Mahito#I wonder if Mahito is more a negative nihilism with a funny edge or a positive nihilism. For now it seems positive#with how he seems to have said something like 'nothing matters so we can do whatever we want and create what matters'#But Sukuna transcends all that! It could have been interesting to see how that developed in a way that wasn't just childish edginess#But no. And then there's all the idea of curses and sorcerers not being all that different#and so not really entirely possible to say one side is good and the other bad#There was the idea of the very source of powers with fear and love playing a role here in such a juicy way#And then there's the entire thing happening with Gojo as a concept and the very concepts he plays with which I could eat like an apple#but also I would let those very concepts eat at my heart as a worm inside an apple#Full of holes and rotting inside out and yet delighting at the sweetness#It could all be so good! And yet! Most of the manga is a few sketched dynamics and concepts and a very long fight with Sukuna#promising half finished arcs#WHY it could have been so good. And I don't think criticism is a matter of 'fans being spoiled! Go write your story!' or something#It's not a matter of things not going as fans would want them to be. It's a matter of not writing well#or cohesively things established by the author themselves. And I think that's a fair criticism#If we are to take manga as an artā which I wholeheartedly supportā#then we can subject mangas to artistic or literary or whatever you want to call it analysis. There are works that are better constructed#than othersā and there are works that have good ideas but poor execution. And it's always a pity#In the case of JJK it's truly breaking my heart and the comments I see around about these five last chapters are not helping xD#God it could be so good. So good. And I'm not talking about in specific to meā which yes that too given the topicsā#but just so good in general. It could be so good. It could have been so good#And yet it's starting to look more and more like any other shonen. It truly breaks my heart haha#I talk too much#Jujutsu Kaisen#I used Bleach because I think that's one of the mangas that has been the most a let down to the friends I have who like shonen
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I've been seeing a few hate comments about Five's hair in season 4? Like that's just Aidan's haircut? It looks nice on him? Idk man I am a long haired Five truther I guess
#give him a break man#the fandom is already so loud about their hate for the season#which is valid some of it was bad#but not the actors fault#leave aidan's hair out of it? it's just weird man#aidan gallagher#five hargreeves#umbrella academy#it just bothers me when people go after peoples appearances#like Aidan is gen z he could very well have a tumblr
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me, stupidly and weirdly resistant to listening to audio books vs reading a physical book for no real reason: man i wish there was a way to like, read a book while i crochet like i do with tv shows and movies and podcasts
#toy txt post#my reasons are irrational you dont need to try to talk me into it. i KNOW#its very silly of me#imagine how much reading i could get done. but alas. Feels Bad#even listening to a more. uh. Story type podcast or fiction like nightvale was a bit difficult to start for me. i like nightvale now i#listened. but i worry that is clocking in my brain as an Exception š maybe it would be easier if i tried some nonfiction books? scary#i also struggle with single host podcasts apparently even tho im also ehhhh on the kind where the structure is the host Interviewing a#different person everytime? maybe it would be okay with a nonfiction audiobook tho cos it would be getting read by a narrator and not sound#so much like a guy ranting into a mic which makes me feel a little insane. altho propaganda doesnt necessarily always sound like a guy#ranting into a mic so idk. i could probably make it through if i can find a nice book about like. parasitic worms. i could tolerate#feeling like im falling into sigma male affirmations videos for worms i think. wormffirmations are allowed#*to clarify i dont listen to those but listening to better offline makes me feel like im morphing into the kinda guy who does and i hate it#which feels unfair cos he is RIGHT and the podcast is good but i need there to be like a cohost there to break the tension of the Ranting#sometimes he has guests on? but its not quite the same#i think the format i like best is either like 2 or 3 regular cohosts discussing things within a specific topic#OR. 1 host whos like infodumping to the other host who knows nothing about the subject. OR. 2 hosts info dumping to each other about#different aspects of the subject. OR. 1 host who brings on fun guests to infodump to them about a subject. and then obviously the subject#needs to intrigue me. ex. sawbones well theres your problem (I HATE THAT THIS ONE IS BEST EXPERIENCED ON YOUTUBEš I WANT THEM TO JUST DUMP#ALL THE SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST SOMEWHERE AND I CAN CHECK IN AND FOLLOW ALONG THAT WAY WITHOUT HAVING TO HAVE MY PHONE SCREEN ON THE#WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!!! but. im listening for free so its unreasonable to demand more of them BUT ALSO I FEEL LIKE JUST COPYPASTING ALL OF THE#SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST ISNT THAT MUCH MORE EFFORT THAN EDITING A WHOLE YOUTUBE VIDEO? WAAAAAH. THEY DONT NEED TO BE TIMESTAMPED OR#ANYTHING JUST THROW EM IN ILL FIGURE IT OUTTTTTT#anyway. also more than 3 hosts is really pushing my ability to keep track of voices.#anyway: sawbones wtyp tpwky behind the bastards scam goddess#(which is true crime adjacent but focuses mainly on scams and isnt copaganda and laci is funny and cool)#common descent pod completely arbortrary maintenance phase if books could kill#deep sea podcast has more bringing ppl in to interview them about shit than i personally enjoy but i put up with it cos i do like the hosts#and the subject
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#ALL POWER DEMANDS PAIN AND SACRIFICE: musings.#okay but this made me laugh so hard just because of how much it reminds me of misao JSJSJ LOL because she has had like casual 'flings'-#with people and is an addictive personality as i've talked about here once which includes her being a love junkie + getting into-#relationships with people because she is in love with the IDEA of being in love though falling in love with someone can't just happen-#like magic as it involves a bunch of hormones and stuff but misao kind of somewhat hopes that this person of interest to her will somehow-#complete her life anyhow which... yeah can definitely raise a few problems as people with a love addiction often attract love-#avoidant people because both of these types of people generally have a fear of being abandoned and controlled.#but whenever it comes to love-avoidant individual's they're also emotionally unavailable so š¬#it's unfortunately kinddd of a recipe for an unhealthy relationship that could very well lead to the both of them being in a bad place-#once they break up as misao as a love addict is constantly seeking out new love in particular as a lot of excitement and good feelings-#come with this particular type of love in particular. so yeahhh - i know that this may be a bit of a weird picture to do a meta to but-#SHHH lol i just thought it could possibly relate to her more long-term relationships that she's had with people as misao-#tends to avoid feelings of vulnerability with people as you may all know and so this leads to both her + the other person not really-#knowing what they are BC they haven't really established that deeper connection even though they've been together for a while.#not to say that i'm trying to blame misao for having problems with opening up or anything like that but she has a very disorganized-#attachment style i think and that leads to her often doing this continuous 'push and pull' thing in her romantic/sexual ships#where one moment she will want to be attached to the hip to them but the next she will be cold and distant from them.#so yeahhh. misao is honestly kind of like what i've said barton is before: a cake inside of a cake because i feel like she's got sides of-#herself that she doesn't even know about because she's been scared of being fully emotionally vulnerable with someone for a while now sadly#NO SLEEP OF THE INNOCENT. NOT FOR YOU: character study.
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Getting closer, getting really close now I swear (Patreon)
#Doodles#Just Desserts#Villainsona#True Villainy AU#Just ignore how many times I've said that up to this point lol - I'm serious this time!#I always feel so bad designing TVAU outfits because Charm is always so miserable as a model haha#Could this be a contributing factor as to why it's taken so long?? No I enjoy drawing her like that lol#Made some design notes about the important elements of what I want for her True Villain look - more than just ''Her but Kaiein influence''#I'd still really like a nod to dragon scales of some kind but honestly her classic design is more that#Always going on about her spider theming how to make it dragony! It's the one thing I'm still hung up on lol#As for the rest I think it's Really getting close :) I got to actually turn her little ''shawl'' - I always knew it was Kaiein-related -#Into something that properly mimics his shape! It's all controlled by her tho it's not a part of his body - just magic-infused matter#Made to look like him so there's still that creep factor but it's more her body than his - she can control its shape :D#And I got to keep the jewels! Yesss - made it a motif! Now it's also on her hips and knees to break up her visual space yes very good#It's drips :) Y'know - like ink :) Finally figured that one out lol good job setting up my own symbolism me#And then some elegant drapey bits to match her ''shawl'' and continue to break up her space!! Yes! Good!!#I still haven't decided on a colour palette I think black and white is too obvious and too Kaiein but hmmm - she has a lot of colours#Lots of options to pick from but which is the Correct one - her hair would stay pink so maybe some of her pinks or purples#I'll play with some digital swatches later :)#I'm also so glad I could implement the hood design from one of the scrapped outfits ah <3 I love her in a hood she's so cute#I'm rather pleased with the way the spider web design breaks up her form as well - it's more subdued than the full bottom/shoes stripes but#It's also not very clear here lol the long ones that all the way down to her feet are the third from the center ignore that second one#The second lines out from the center host her wings! Very important!#Kinda reminds me of my holosona in a way actually :0 They /are/ both Evil-aligned hmmmm#All the more reason to colour palette! Differentiate the colours in my head#Really do feel like I'm approaching it now fdjsklafd getting close now!!
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SOMEONE MADE A TIKTOK EDIT WITH YOUR ART!!!!
I was watching a Welcome Home tiktok compilation [cause I don't have tiktok] and I just seen your art and was so surprised-
Here's the tiktok comp it was in! The tiktok with the edit of your art starts at 2:45!
IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHAT THE FUCK
i don't know how to feel beyond Way Too Perceived and also Wheezing
#ASBDCJACKLNDFKSDV WHAT why why why#i thought my scribbles were tiktok/edit-proof.....#im surprised too dude what. huh! what!!! why!#i would have... liked to be asked if my fanart could be used for edits...#i mean the answer is Yeah I Guess. Why Not#but also its nice to be asked! it gives me Mental Preparation for seeing my stuff breaking containment!!!#lemme tell you before going to the timestamp i was NOT expecting it to be laughingstock the fUck-#and its the little 'comic' thing i dont even like all that much smh....#rambles from the bog#half me is like: oh huh! weird#and the other half is: well i need to crawl into a hole and take everything with me. im too Seen#somehow it feels like a stranger walked into my house & took snacks from my fridge and then Left w/o a word#like hey. i wasnt gonna eat that but hey.#gently swatting the person who made the 'tok with a very floppy and oversized sunhat#did they credit??? probably not huh#for the brief horrible window i had tiktok i rarely saw edits crediting the art used#which is. i gotta say. pretty rude!
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college is making me want to shoot myself in the head really bad, which is crazy because i thought i was completely done with feeling suicidal after highschool ended. my life is looking up and i have a lot to look forward to.
but the funny thing is. that beautiful future, which is the reason i don't want to die, is only obtainable through going to college and working very hard and stressing myself out all the time. which, in turn, makes me want to die.
#as per usual my mental health has been doing great and here comes school again to throw a wrench in the works#its so unfair that i cant be guaranteed a small house and a well paying job and a domestic life with my girlfriend just by surviving#i mean for my girlfriend i've tried to set it up so that that's all she has to do and i'll set up everything else#but surviving in itself is a lot harder for her than for i#i just want us to be O.K. !!!#and then there's the genocide that doesnt involve me but i'd be kind of a horrible person not to care about it#which i do care. i want to donate but i barely have enough money for myself and my girlfriend to live happily#and thats WITH my parents keeping me housed and paying for groceries bills repairs etc#AND college tuition.#swear to GOD i could be given like 10 thousand dollars rn and i would use almost all of it to help others just out of sheer moral obligatio#theres not even very much i would want to spend money on for myself rn#i like my current wardrobe enough and my doll collection is almost at full capacity so its gonna stagnate soon#and thats like. it. i buy myself snacks and stuff sometimes but thats all the ways i spend money for purely selfish reasons#besides that i just wanna help my girlfriend out and all those suffering in palestine#im rambling. i need a fucking break from it all sorry#life suddenly seems so bleak again#evilmartin430.txt#vent
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Boy King Seb :D
#thank you to Grace for the idea of making his chivarly collar red bull instead <33333#he was gonna have both collars but then making that one made me suffer so no not today#this was a lot of fun but also made me suffer. but i keep looking at it and being like AAAHHHHH BABY!!! BABY BOY!!!!!!!#can you believe i tried to do this in one night? i cant#i stopped and came back to it and was like 'no way you could do this in one sitting at 1 am'#this is kinda the ascended form of that very first sketch i made for this au! concentrated boy king sebby!!!#i say to myself i need to take a break from drawing complicated things but youll prob see a nando version of this in less than a week ;;;#okay about the drawing(i wrote good tags and then tumblr deleted them so these are a bit inferior AGH):#this is typical pouty seb but is also referenced off a specific pic from AD 2009(beloved)#its very important to me how emotionally open Seb is. im not sure the specific context of this. maybe after a triumph?#but instead of being that typical stoic serious detached kind of ruler; i like him being openly emotional(think AD 2010)#its important as well for his dichotomy with nando and how they choose to portray themselves#seb is very assured in himself and his rule vs. nando who is more insecure and bitter about his#so nando takes strides to portray himself in that more stoic calculating way bcs he feels like it helps him legitimize himself better#whereas seb has absolutely no care for outward public image and shows how he feels and is loved for it(nando hates it but loves it)#not that nando cant be fun and whimsical!! but to me he always seems a bit more mysterious; like i can never tell his true thoughts tbh#anyways i feel like ill finish 10 more drawings before i end up posting the lore pt 2 LMAO#its just a lot harder to organize and layout compared to part 1 which was just an explanation#pt2 would be a mix of more world building/characterization/anecdotes ive talked about with mutuals(LOVE YOU GUYS!!!)#i have a *lot* of ideas (gotta whip out my notes app every once in a while to write down stuff abt it) just hard to put into a coherent pos#sebastian vettel#f1#formula 1#f1 art#formula 1 art#f1 fanart#formula 1 fanart#catie.art.#*ill prob make a process post later if anyone is curious!! its fun to write abt my process and influences and such#boy king au
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I recently rewatched jurassic park and decided to read the books for the first time, and theyre actually so good
#i was nervois because sometimes older books wth such a huge movie fanbase wind up being totally different to the movie#in a way thats kind of disappointing if you liked the movie#but while it has flawed (ellie sattler and ellie sattlers legs are basically two different characters lmao) its actually really well written#and toes the line between sciencey and fun really well. it also explains a lot of the science very well which i appreciate#i havent even got to the actual dinosaur attacks yet (ive just stopped right as they break down in front of the trex cage lmao) and im like.#96 pages in. to a 216 page book. so hypothetically the pacing could be faster but it doesnt feel SLOW at all#anyway. so far would recommend
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genuinely sorry about all the dndposting recently it hasn't even been interesting but i'm so desperate to dm. i've got storytelling skills!!! i've got improv skills!!! i want to build a story around characters!!! i want to see what players do with what i give them!!!
#i want to get good at planning combat encounters too#i'm sad that the first group didn't work out#it really could have been great#but also. thank FUCK it didn't work out i need to get away from those people.#earlier the person that has basically only been condescending to me was like#''hey are we cool?''#because i never responded to his shitty condescending message#like no bitch we're not cool. shut the fuck up.#you have permanently ruined my opinion of you.#which may be harsh#but you need to understand he's an experienced dnd player and dm. started several dnd clubs#and did Not help me out at all#and when i was like ''hey man you're the experienced player here can you help me out''#he was like ''well i'm doing EVERYTHING i can. it's just a shitty way of life that the dm has to do everything''#(''everything'' means things i genuinely could not do by myself. things that were explicitly a group effort)#and he kept being like ''this is stressing you out let's take a break''#fucker i didn't need a break i needed HELP. i wasn't even stressed#i was pissed off#and INCREDIBLY reasonable the entire time. this sounds like biased bullshit i know#but the worst things i said were like#''hey guys i'm really looking forward to this but i can't do everything by myself i need some help''#''don't you wish you had a proactive player in your groups?''#and ''if you leave a date blank on the calendar i just have to assume that it's free. that's why we have the calendar''#so no man we're not ''cool''#also talking down to me is the easiest way to get me to dislike you. it's like a speedrun#''i don't think it's your fault. i don't think it's anyone's fault :)"#bro it very clearly is SOMEONE'S fault. definitely not mine.#fuck that guy#persimmon's rambles
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