#which anyone is entitled to their own opinion about

[graceofgondor]

since a couple of you (@nectarinesinthesun444 @perksofbeingpoet) asked, I figured it was worth posting

my dps ✨️hot takes✨️

disclaimer bc people get mad: these are just my opinions, if you disagree, that's okay!! people are allowed to coexist with different opinions. this is a post for friendly discussion only. please don't start discourse or block me just bc you disagree, I enjoy the fact that we all interpret this media in our own way. thank you.

alot of people flat out don't understand charlie as a character and mischaracterize him as a result. (hint: if you see him as just the funny one you need to watch the movie again)

I dislike movie knox just about as much as book knox. he's still entitled and selfish, and I don't think he deserved redemption. (I simply cannot see him in a fanon lens, I just don't like him)

I do however, wish he was written better. In that his character became all about chris, and less about his friends, which lost his character a bit, because occasionally I do see the potential.

while i like her more... i dislike chris. I obviously feel bad for what happened to her, but she is kind of a shitty friend if you think about it. she was constantly ditching ginny for boys (ergo: why i don't ship them) and quite literally cheated on her boyfriend, who was in fact, her friends brother.

relating to that, chet may be a meathead asshole just in general, but he did absolutely nothing wrong when it came to knox and that is a hill i will DIE on.

oh!! hey!! we shouldn't joke about the paddling scene!! literally ever!!!

the "except sex" line is taken way too far. it's not (canonically) gay. boys joke about sex. let's move on.

relating to that... i don't fault anyone for shipping anything legal—but some ships simply have no evidence in canon. (knarlie, chrisginny) and I'm absolutely terrified to say that... but it's true

in that same vein, many people mistake charlie's disapproval toward knox's methods with chris (especially the phone call scene) as jealousy—when in reality, it's just that—disapproval. this is a bit of an inconsistency issue, because this was much more evident in the book/original script—that charlie tended to push knox around a bit, especially about that, but regardless it's still disdain.

charlie isn't in love with everyone. he's just like that.

also— sexuality headcanons are also obviously fine. but if you say charlie is bi/gay/etc. ONLY (allow me to repeat—ONLY) because of his flamboyant tendencies, that is extremely stereotypical and rubs me so far the wrong way.

its okay to not like cameron for what he did. obviously he's not pure evil, but people are allowed to dislike a character for doing a bad thing. its not okay to be ignorant, but it is, in fact, okay to understand and still dislike a character.

already went over this kind of, but literally every poet (+the girls) gets mischaracterized and/or generalized on a large scale. like, why is half the fandom convinced pitts is braindead? and somehow, todd is incapacitated and has anxiety about everything?? I feel like the movie makes a point to say that these characters are nuanced and multifaceted, and yet they continue to be shoved into one box like two-dimensional high school archetypes.

[waltwhitmansbeard]

why are you paying for a service that you don't enjoy? beacon has not been around long enough for there to be any meaningful change in quality or content from what came before it, so if you're paying for it now and you don't like what they're doing, then you almost certainly didn't like it before you started paying for it.

at no point did i say that viewers didn't have the right to criticize critical role. critical role is art, and all art is subject to criticism. that being said, having been in the fandom for quite a while, i have seen quite a lot of criticism that is, in my opinion, unfair and unrealistic, and i think it's important to call that out when it happens.

there is a difference between finding entertainment and demanding entertainment. i have spoken before about the fact that i, personally, wasn't super entertained by the aeor arc of c2. it wasn't bad, i didn't hate it, when i do my rewatch of c2 i certainly won't be skipping it. but my personal tastes made me more interested by the political and piratical plots of that campaign and not so much the wizard ruin one. that's okay. that's my preference. but i know when i sit down to watch critical role every week what i'm signing up for. i'm signing up to watch SOMEONE ELSE'S D&D CAMPAIGN. it was not created or played with my interests in mind. when i dm for my group, it is my responsibility to keep my players' interests and needs in mind. it is NOT matt mercer's responsibility to keep my interests and needs in mind, nor yours, nor anyone's, unless they're sitting at his table. cr does not work like, for example, dimension 20. dimension 20 was ALWAYS an entertainment show first, and therefore the entertainment of its viewing audience has always been a primary concern. that is very much not true of critical role. critical role was a group of friends' home game first, and we were invited in to watch. do i think matt considers the entertainment of the home audience when he plans? absolutely! do i think the players consider that entertainment when they make their choices at the table? absolutely! but i do not think they do or should make those considerations first. this is what makes critical role different than other actual plays d&d shows (at least the big ones; i cannot comment on shows other than cr, d20, naddpod, and dungeons & daddies). we are watching a home game that, yes, has a high production value, but is still a home game nonetheless.

how you invest your time and money is your business, and if you feel like either was wasted by this finale or by c3 in general, you are entitled to feel that way. i encourage you think about your expectations, though, and whether it was reasonable to expect this particular medium to meet them in the first place.

it is not condescending, dismissive, or belittling to suggest that some of the real-life criticisms of cr's narrative storytelling style that i have witnessed with my own two eyes in my time in this community are unwarranted and unfair, for reasons i have stated here and elsewhere on my blog. you certainly don't have to agree with me—i clearly do not agree with you—but you're not being insulted if someone challenges your opinions.

generally speaking, if you got to the end of c3 and are this disappointed with how things shook out, i think you might just...not like critical role. and that's okay! i know it sucks to spend a lot of time with a piece of media only to realize you don't actually like what that media is—this happened to me with dungeons & daddies, which i didn't realize that i didn't really like until i was well into season three. but again, i don't think the core of what cr is and how they tell their stories has changed that drastically between c1 and c3, so i do believe that people who pay for beacon are getting exactly what they thought they were paying for: a group of friends sitting around a table playing d&d and telling an expansive, complicated story that spans in-world decades. if you didn't like that story, that's fine, but you did get a story nonetheless.

i know some people are going to be upset by how much time vox machina and the mighty nein took up during this finale, so i want to say a couple of things

these campaigns have always been and will always be for the entertainment and enjoyment of matt and his players, first and foremost. their good time has always been and will always been more important than that of the audience, which has been invited in to watch something that existed before we even knew about it. we are of course entitled to our opinions about what we watch, but it's important to remember that those opinions will never, ever matter as much as those of the people around the table.

it is an unspeakable feat of storytelling, collaboration, creativity, and friendship for these people to have done what they just did. over ten years (well over, including the time they played pre-stream) of building a narrative that spanned decades and continents and planes and celestials bodies, of making decisions and seeing their consequences out to the fullest, of bringing to life characters that felt more genuine and real than anything one can find on the silver screen—this is the kind of expansive storytelling that marvel thought it was doing with the mcu. to be able to tell a story so powerful that it cannot reasonably contained within the confines of distinct d&d campaigns is a staggering accomplishment, and we're all lucky to bear witness to it.

it is no one else's fault if you only watched c3, or weren't caught up on c1/2 when you watched the finale, or if you didn't like c1/2 but did like c3. again, you're entitled to your opinions and to how you spend your time, but this story did not begin in jrusar, so it is unreasonable to expect it to end there.

no one, including you, benefits by being salty that these people were having fun. no one, including you, is made better by your dissatisfaction with how these people chose together to tell this story. i have read countless books and watched countless tv shows and films in my life, and none of the stories therein have been told exactly the way i would have told them, and that's what i love so much about being human. if i'd been at that table, of course i would have made different decisions, and of course you would have too. but we got to see these decisions, and these consequences, and the ephemeralness of that is so beautiful i could cry.

as i have i said eight billion times before, and will probably have to say eight billion times again, critical role is not a tv show. critical role is not a novel. critical role does not have a writer's room or a five-year plan. (well, matt might, but not in the moment.) critical role is a story that happens in the moment, a story built on matt's careful planning and the players' in-the-moment decisions and, of course, the rolls of the dice. if you are holding this kind of story to the narrative standards of something crafted for the sole purpose of entertaining an audience, you are always, always going to be disappointed.

[thelittlestleaf]

listen i totally understand those who want a little more Ted in their Ted Lasso.

but the idea that Ted is all of a sudden apathetic and disconnected from the team this season? have we not been watching the same show in which a man who loves coaching keeps facing personal challenges that make it more difficult for him to do that effectively? that’s been the story the whole time. the obstacle has just become more emotional and interpersonal than straight up panic attacks

[powerpolyculeshowdown]

I don't know what happened because the posts I've seen about it have been vague, but apparently some poll runner posted pro-life stuff???? and one post also mentioned guns idk i have no context for what's going on at all but I've seen a few mods make a post about their beliefs in response so just to be clear i am very strongly pro-choice as well as anti-gun.

i dont post politics and that won't change but apparently this needs to be said????

if you're pro-life and/or pro-guns feel free to unfollow. terfs and radfems and bigotry in general aren't welcome either.

[moonberry69]

Some of the comments about Raf's spicy card make me kind of sad. Of course, everyone is entitled to their own opinion so no hate to the people who share this opinion about his card.

I've seen quite a few people comment on how they thought Raf's new card was disappointing because the spice level wasn't the same as the other guys. Some have also commented on how most of Raf's cards are disappointing overall due to him "holding back" and that's why a lot of people prefer the other guys over him.

I think it all boils down to preference and the guys' individual personalities. Raf's cards, like all the guys, display his personality (one side of it anyway). He holds back because he's afraid due to past events. He isn't boring. He's hesitant, scared, and traumatized and all of that revolves around the woman he is bonded to, madly in love with, and desperately wants. Raf is also a deeply passionate, emotional lover. That isn't boring. It just isn't they type of love everyone wants. His card was emotionally charged, sensual, and romantic. It displayed Raf's spicy love language, which isn't as aggressive as the other guys. He's softer and gentler when showing how much he loves and cherishes her. Despite everything he's done or is involved with, he is a pretty gentle guy. His cold, aloof, and brutal attitude toward others is what he has to maintain if he wants to survive, protect, and accomplish his goals. He went feral in his hotel room once his restraint snapped. He was needy. The way he grabbed MC and carried her before throwing her on the bed. The intense make-out session and his annoyance at being interrupted by the phone call. The way he grabbed her and pushed her up against the window because he couldn't bare composing himself anymore and was desperate to have her. Raf exhibited the entire card how difficult it was for him to hold back how much he wanted MC. Raf is just a romantic and poetic man and he's softer than the other guys when it comes to love making.

That isn't for everyone and that's cool, but to call him boring shows a bit of a misunderstanding of him as a character, I think.

His card also focused on some easter eggs lore, Raf dealing with some heavy thoughts/ feelings about himself, MC, and their relationship, and he and MC deepening their relationship. It also showed MC being so tender, honest, and sincere with Raf and her feelings towards him and the way she kept reassuring him so openly made my heart melt. This card had it all, to me. I love that it wasn't all “smut” but a mix of everything.

I do wish his kindled scene would have been a bit longer and I really don't like how we are shown almost the entire scenes in previews (with any of the guys/banner cards). Overall, though, I thought Raf’s card was perfect.

Again, no hate to anyone that didn't like the card! Just thought I would share my thoughts/opinion.

[timmydraker]

Tim Drake who has a half-Chinese mother named Dai Lu Feng who travelled to study history in various countries and eventually met Jack Drake, an American archeologist who instantly fell in love with the assertive and intelligent woman.

When she eventually agrees to move to America, she had an argument with her parents that makes her cut them off, one she says is due to money when ever asked but is actually because of Drake.

Obviously they don’t have a problem with him being a white man, it’s more that he’s a white white man. He’s entitled, rude, and disrespectful to anyone he deems below him. He’s not obvious about it, but it’s clear he doesn’t really approve of Dai Lu’s family due to their middle class status but she can’t seem to see that, too enchanted by the fact that he listens to her talk about ancient history.

He seems to think class is all that matters, but most odd is how he treats his partners heritage.

When Jack tells her she will need an English name, she isn’t upset or surprised as that’s very normal and her father had already given her one, that being his own mother, Janet.

When Jack tells her to be cautious with who she speaks to incase they pick up her rather well hidden accent, she assumes it’s because Americans can often be cruel to Chinese due to all the propaganda and stereotypes.

When he tells her that she doesn’t need to keep her traditional clothes with her all the time, that they can stay safe in China, she isn’t as sure but at that point thought she would be returning frequently.

When she gets pregnant and excitedly tells him, she hears him over the phone with his ‘Gentleman’ friends saying, ‘Yeah, but she’s only half Chinese, so it’s not really interracial, is it?’ And then ‘Nah, the kid will look more like me, male genes are stronger and anyway, he won’t be learning Chinese so who cares!’

Dai Lu has the until thought to correct him ironically, the thought of defending her language which is Mandarin, thank you, stronger than it’s been in a long while. She’s so used to him not wanting her to talk her home tongue she’s stopped questioning it, stopped feeling that slight guilt of absorbing her culture and home.

Maybe it’s because she used to be bullied for it, that she always thought she would one day have to choose between being a Chinese woman like her mother or a professor in England like her father had been.

And Dai Lu is a smart woman, but she’s also just a human being. She gets scared, especially when it comes to the few people whose opinion she cares about.

What if she tries to go home to her family, to her parents and her sister, only to be shamed for running away from her husband just as she gets pregnant! What if they are mad at her for leaving? What if they judged her? What if she went back to China and everyone knew she abandoned her husband?

She didn’t need his money but damn it if she didn’t want his love.

Timothy Jackson Drake is born with his father choosing his names, his mother looking at him with a smile and heavy sadness is her eyes.

She knows he will be questioned on his heritage, that he will be called vile things, and she will teach him how to handle and respond to such things.

Janet will need to, because Tim looks so much like her and his father will blame him for it.

When Tim receives his mother’s inheritance and everything else she left him in her will, he finds a book he used to read with her as a kid.

Within The Velveteen Rabbit is a letter that reads as follows,

“My dear sweet boy,

I know I wasn’t the best mother to you, I know I should have done more. Been braver.

Alas, all I have to offer you to show my remorse and my love is the name I wished for you to be called, that you would have been given if I had been brave enough to return to my mother.

I love you, Shoi-Ming Feng, now and forever.”

Tim smiles for the first time after loosing her.

They weren’t as close as they could have been, but they lived each other.

He would always remember her teaching him of his culture in whispered voices while Jack was out of the house, of the small jade ring she kept hidden in her make up bag, and of the way she taught him the language she was to never speak in front of her husband as best she could.

Tim calls Bruce and asks him if he could be brought into the man’s care permanently, on the condition is last name be Feng-Wayne.

Bruce agrees without a second of hesitation.

[ooooo-mcyt]

People love making Scott and Pearl's relationship so black and white and it's frustrating because they're so complicated and I'm insane about it.

I feel like a lot of people love to paint Double Life specifically as Scott just cruelly and selfishly hurting Pearl while Pearl just cried about it or something.

Scott was cruel to Pearl in Double Life, this is an undeniable fact in my opinion. He was very cold toward her and majorly contributed to the isolation Pearl experienced during the season, which impacted her mental state horribly. Nor did he feel any real remorse for it. Pearl can't be faulted for feeling angry and hurt when the one person who was supposed to be on her side made her feel like she wasn't even worth knowing.

But Pearl was also cruel to Scott. Yes, Scott "started it", but I find that to be a fairly childish way of looking at interpersonal conflict. Pearl was openly and repeatedly aggressive and pushy with Scott throughout Double Life in a way that caused him immense stress. She agitated the conflict between them and made it worse. She did all of this purposefully. And I feel like it just makes her character weaker when people defang her and paint her as this sad little puppy or something.

Not to mention how Scott's personal agency seems to be devalued in a lot of discussions regarding Double Life- yes, Pearl had a right to feel upset, hurt, angry, etc, but no, she was not entitled to be Scott's partner or to take his final life at the end of the season, and I find it unsettling when Scott rejecting her or choosing to take his own life are painted as selfish and malicious decisions Scott made to take away Pearl's agency when neither who he partners with nor how he dies are things anyone should have "agency" over other than Scott himself.

Their relationship is just deeply complicated. They both hurt each other and they both have reasons to feel bitter after the fact, but people love making Scott seem uniquely selfish, and they love making Pearl seem like a kicked puppy, and this significantly weakens their arc for me. Especially when we then get into Wild Life and we have their arc regarded as them "healing", which feels deeply simplistic all things considered.

[antiquarianfics]

The Best Things Take Time

Bucky has a code. You manage to crack it.

A/N: This took me so long because I wasn't really sure how I wanted to go about it. I'm pretty happy with it, I think. Also, my first request! I hope I did your brain-child justice. :) Warnings: Mild language. Based on this request. Note: I do not own the character Bucky Barnes or any other Marvel affiliated characters.

You do not have permission to repost or translate my work; however, feel free to like, comment, and/or reblog.

----

Bucky Barnes decided early on in his life as a free man that he wasn’t going to try and date—even with Sam and Yori pushing him all the time. His triggers are gone, yes, but he is starkly aware that he still has a long way to go before he might be considered ready to give time and energy to another person on a daily basis. However, if there is anyone in the world that makes him reconsider his own rule, it’s you.

The two of you first formally met when Steve, Sam, and yourself finally tracked him down. You were kind to him, but you kept your distance. He never made many attempts to speak with you, but the short interactions he did have with you were short and clinical. He never asked, but he’s pretty sure you’re afraid of him—of what he’s done.

Despite this assumption, Bucky takes note of the way you drop everything to help him time and time again. You back him in Washington, you back him in Siberia, you back him in Wakanda, and you back him in Washington in the second go-round. He is appreciative—very much so—but he keeps his distance regardless. After all, he shouldn’t risk losing an ally by something as silly as small talk.

Things begin to change, though, when he runs into you at the airport. Both him and you felt the need to get on Sam’s back about giving up the shield.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, a little indignantly. You cringe a little at your tone, but you brush it off nonetheless.

Bucky shoots you an annoyed look before turning to Sam.

Throughout the mission to track down the Flag Smashers, you and Bucky bicker (even more than Sam and Bucky do). You challenge him on every opinion he shares, poke fun at every misstep he takes, and side with Sam for the sake of disagreeing with him. He returns the favor, and he ignores the bitter taste it leaves in his mouth.

Your interactions are not particularly pleasant, sure, but they’re existent—which is progress.

—

“Does he always stare like that?” Walker asks Sam, eyeing Bucky uncomfortably.

“You get used to it,” Sam replies.

You glare at Walker. His attitude towards you and your boys bothers you. His entitlement to Steve’s shield and name bothers you. He bothers you.

“Does she always stare like that?” Walker asks, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

“Only when douchebags harass my friends,” you deadpan.

You are plenty aware this is the first time you’ve called Bucky your friend, and you can tell he is too by the way his eyes shift from Walker to you. You’re not aware, though, that your concession of friendship serves as the push he needs to talk to you more.

—

It takes time, but over the next few weeks, Bucky manages to get you to open up. He’s surprised with himself by how he’s willing to talk to you; after all, people are usually trying to get him to talk.

Bucky finds out that you’re actually not as reserved as he thought, but you had heard both Steve’s stories of before and multiple people’s accounts of after. Your distance, you admit, was a consequence of you trying to give him space when everyone else was crowding him. Your teasing and bickering with him was a consequence of trying to create said space. The revelation makes Bucky’s heart clench: no one has made him feel so cared for in a long time.

Bucky sticks by his no dating rule, though. After all, you may be friends, and you may be acting nicer to him lately, but there’s no way you like him like that.

Or, at least he thinks so until Louisiana.

—

“Hey, Sarah,” Bucky says, flashing a charming smile at her from where he sits next to Sam and yourself on the dock.

“Hey!” You smack his chest with the back of your hand. “No flirting with Sam’s sister.”

He lets his attention shift to you, and he can’t help the surprise. He’s aware that you could just be enforcing Sam’s demand from earlier, but you’re so adamant. He thinks maybe he sees a flash of jealousy in your eyes, but he thinks, too, he might just be seeing what he wants to see.

Sam and Sarah continue to bicker before she shoos the three of you away from the boat. Sam and Bucky step onto the dock and begin to walk away before you, and they keep walking even when Sarah stops you.

“Subtle,” she says, smirking at you. You wave her off, your face heating up with a blush.

“Shut up,” you say, embarrassment entwined with each syllable.

Bucky thinks maybe—just maybe—you might like him back.

—

Looking back on the last few years, Bucky can hardly believe the journey you and he had been on. Being so distant most of your time together in the first few years, and then being so rude to each other the next few, and then needing a push from the Wilsons to actually do anything about your feelings… it was interesting, to say the least.

He remembers the day you agreed to leave Louisiana with him. It was an impulsive decision, but it led to the first time the two of you had truly been alone together. It led to inside jokes and deep conversations. It led to a genuine friendship.

“I’m headed out tomorrow,” Bucky informed you and Sam.

The three of you were sitting on the porch of Sarah’s house, conversation flowing from friendly jests, to Karli, to the boat, to whatever else. Your head shot up to stare at him, eyes widening.

“What? Why?” Your tone was a little panicked. Bucky raised his eyebrows at your tone. Sam laughed, and you shot him a glare.

“I don’t want to overstay my welcome, Doll,” he said. Ever since the incident with Sarah, he’d let a few pet names for you fall from his lips, and he smugly noted the way they made you squirm.

“Oh.”

“Well!” Sam exclaimed, clapping his palms on his knees as he stood. “I’m gonna go check on Sarah and the boys while you,” he pointed at the two of you in turn, “figure whatever is going on here out.”

You protested, but Sam was gone without another word. Neither one of you spoke for a moment, and you chewed on your lip.

“You’re really going?” You asked shyly.

“Yeah.”

“Oh.”

“You can come with me, if you want,” he offered before he can think better of himself.

Your eyes shot to his, analyzing his face for any sort of jest. He seemed sincere, and once you decided he wasn’t pulling your leg, you responded.

“Okay.”

He remembers the day the two of you finally addressed that you were more than friends. Bucky, of course, has a no dating rule, and you? You had no such thing, but you weren’t dating either. In fact, you hadn’t since before Karli and the Flag Smashers showed up.

Bucky and yourself were at a bar, drinking and laughing with one another. He was sober, of course, but you were a little tipsy. You had a dopey smile on your face that he thought was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen. He still thinks your smile is the prettiest thing he’s ever seen.

That’s when a young woman sauntered up to the bar. She was gorgeous; her long, black braids reached her waist, her lips were painted a bright red color, and she wore a halter top that left little to the imagination.

“Hi,” she said, grabbing your attention, shooting you a flirtatious smile.

“Hi!” You said, the alcohol making you friendlier than you usually are.

“I saw you across the bar, and I was jus’ wonderin’, would you wanna grab a drink with me? Maybe dance a lil’?” Her eyes dragged down your body and back up to your eyes.

Your eyes widened and you blushed.

“Oh, uh! T-thank you! I’m flattered, but, uh, I got my guy right here, and I kinda like him too much to date!” You sort of yell-whispered the confession to the girl.

She glanced behind you to Bucky whose eyes had also widened in shock, his mouth hanging open a little. The woman laughed and touched your shoulder comfortingly.

“‘s alright,” she assured. “Was worth a shot, though.”

She turned to Bucky then.

“Yo, congrats, man. You’re a lucky guy once you two talk that through.”

With that, she had left, and you turned around to Bucky.

“Look,” you said, more sober sounding than you’d been since the two of you arrived at the bar. “I don’t know what you think this is, or what you want it to be, but I’m all in if you are.”

Bucky leaned forward and kissed you without a second thought.

And he remembers the moment he decided he was going to marry you, if you’d have him.

The two of you were sitting on the couch in your shared apartment; after about two years of dating, you insisted you live together.

“Buck, you’re always here. All your stuff is here. I don’t think you’ve stepped foot in your apartment in a month. You’re just wasting money on rent at this point.”

You were leaned into his side, eyes glued to the tv screen. The two of you were watching The Princess Bride (it’s one of the many movies you insisted was so culturally significant that he had to see it). It was the way you would turn to him at your favorite parts, gauging his reactions to see if he loved it like you did; the way you would mouth the most iconic lines along with the characters; and the way you would sigh contentedly and cuddle further into his side at the romantic scenes that really pulled the realization from deep within him. And, perhaps, it was the way you produced the most ridiculous voice to say "Mawwiage! Mawwiage is what bwings us here today!" that truly brought the idea of marrying you to the forefront of his mind. Regardless, he knew he wanted you around for the rest of his already over-extended lifetime.

—

Bucky Barnes decided early on in his life as a free man that he wasn’t going to try and date, and he decided late in his life as a free man that he wasn't going to ever try and date anyone other than you. So, here he finds himself, kneeling on the ground in front of you with a ring extended towards your person, and hoping you'll say yes.

"Sweetheart, I know we've had a lot of ups and downs. We met when I wasn't truly myself, we got together when I was still figuring out who I am on my own—without Steve, without HYDRA—but no matter what, you've been there for me. You're still here for me.

"You deserve the world, Doll, and I want to give it to you. I want to be here for all your ups and downs, and I want to spend my life being to you what you've already been to me.

"You're my partner, you're my best friend, you're the love of my life. And if you'll have me, I'll be your king, if you'll be my queen. I'll be your husband, if you'll be my wife.

"Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, will you marry me?"

You let out a laugh through a sob, pulling your hand to your face to quickly wipe your tears away, and you nod vigorously. You drop to your knees, pulling Bucky's face into your hands, caressing his cheek gently. Smiling, you respond.

"James Bucky Barnes, of course I'll marry you."

[saessenach]

Thinking many thoughts about Miss Andarateia Cantori tonight because what do you mean we get to be in her house for the entire game, in which she and her boyfriend/partner-in-crime run a gambling den, assassin guild ANd find the time to argue with the public administration while opposing a military occupation?? who does it like her??

Joke aside, I think she's an incredibly fun character, and I'm really happy that hers was the lens through which we saw the Crows this game. Whenever I see random posts and critiques commenting that the Crows were too "sanitised" or "found-family", I want to yell a bit, because DATV never claims that to be the case!! Obviously everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but what we see is anchored in a very specific context: not just Treviso under Antaam occupation, but also the Cantori Diamond, which falls under Teia's jurisdiction.

She's an elven orphan turned Guildmaster and Talon, who desperately wanted to find family in the Crows! While the other Talons resisted her attempts at every step (some more succesfully than others ksks), that implies 1) her approach towards her own House was probably not dissimilar and 2) it got her the Talon position in her 20s. Ergo, her modus operandi was probably fairly successful.

For all that she threatens to evict anyone who treats her like a landlord (lol), the Diamond is very much a reflection of her as a character. It's all completely in line with both her general characterisation in 8 Little Talons and with the point she reaches at the end of that story when confronting Emil. I don't think it's a coincidence that out of our two POVs in 8LT, she's the one discussing Crow ideology with their would-be-murderer:

and

and

Following this particular set-up, of course orphans like Jacobus are treated kindly; of course fledglings have time to gossip in quiet corners while training; of course she helps the Dellamortes however she can?? She decided these people are family to her, and she wants to do better by them than what she got. This is wildly compelling to me personally, because she's such a delightful mix of idealism and disillusionment, honesty and manipulation, compassion and retribution - and she's so fucking obstinate about it!!!

There's also the little connection with the Crows' beginnings, specifically in Treviso. Iirc, it's mentioned in 8LT that her base is Rialto (she's also got gardens there), so a part of me wonders whether the Diamond was an inherited property from a previous Cantori Talon, or whether she got it up and running between then and the events of the game. I think that between that little tibdbit and with Lucanis being named First Talon at the end of the game, it's pretty obvious that the theme of rebirth is very much the point in the Crows' plotline - a messy, hopeful and spiteful rebirth.

All of this is to say, what we get doesn't at all negate the other aspects we've seen from the Crows in previous games, but rather puts them into perspective. The game just goes on to ask - isn't there another way to do this? what else is there room for us to be? is there any chance we might find some kindness in this world? and one of the ways these answers are explored is through Teia's character (we start this series with Zevran's story within the Antivan Crows - an elven orphan bought from a brothel, who doesn't have the power to change this guild, and end with Lucanis, Viago and Teia, who is, specifically, an elven orphan picked up (?) from the streets, who remains one of the powerhouses of the organisation. I love a bit of narrative symmetry ✨)

And honestly, I find this entire thing delightful - it's cheeky and dramatic and a lot of fun, and it makes sense for these characters, if you only sit with it for a second and give it a bit of thought!

(PS the way she draws Viago into her orbit and the way their partnership works is another rant entirely, and they drive me absolutely insane nghhh)

[mioakem]

going over this vid

he finally apologized for the r-slur after days of backlash for it, gotta give at least a little bit of props for that ig. personally i’m not in a place to accept that apology so everyone who was affected by that is entitled to their own decision

he starts off by talking about the pedo jokes, which, honestly, yeah he has a right to be mad about that, not gonna sugar coat it it’s not okay to make those jokes about anyone. but he also keeps on using clips of tubbo saying “tommy’s best friend” when tubbo has repeatedly asked to be seen as his own person in this situation

then my least favorite part of the video, talking about the misogyny. funnily enough, he completely skips past the part where Tommy talks about Caiti and how horribly dream and is friends treated her and handled that situation. Yes dream, there is proof of your misogyny, it’s all over the internet, everyone saw it last year. dream is misogynistic and that is simply a fact based on the way the George situation was handled

he then brings up how tommy interviewed sapnap and tried to interview george, saying that his hatred towards them is disingenuous. gonna give my own opinion here but im pretty sure tommy was not trying to be friendly with them and was actually looking to make fun of them, just a thought

again brings up logan paul, we went over this months ago don’t need to talk more about it but apparently that’s all dream can talk abt

brings up old clips of tommy praising dream, honestly just a dickhead move because those are all from years ago. like woah the kid who used to look up to you so much hates you now as an adult what were you trying to achieve with that?

talks about tommy’s merch company, don’t know about this situation so i won’t talk about it but ill look more into it. plugs his own merch

makes fun of tommy for saying he harassed Sarah, saying that he’s being ridiculous and he only sent paragraphs of messages criticizing her son. brings up how tommy mad fun of dreams stutter and how that was what the message was about

again, here’s where i take big issue, says he didn’t treat tommy like a kid but rather as an equal. never ever should you listen to a kid when they tell you to treat them like an adult. you are the adult here, he was the kid, he wasn’t one of your twenty year old friends, he was 16. speaking from my own personal experiences with having older friends, I would never want them to treat me as equal, as i am 16 years old and they are 21. it’s ok to be friends with someone younger than you but you have to acknowledge that they’re not adults and you can’t treat them as such, even if they want you to, you never know if they’ll regret it once they’re older

finishes it off by saying that he wants tommy to delete every video with him in it if he’s so mad at him

my thoughts:

i think he’s being reasonable about the pedo jokes but that’s about it. there are other categories that fall under maybe reasonable like the merch company thing, but you also have to recognize that tommy does not run these companies, he’s not the one controlling it. i think the old clips was just scummy, again, it’s just showing that he used to look up to you but now that he’s older he hates you, what is that meant to prove? i think he also needs to stop talking about the Sarah thing. it made her uncomfortable, it made her feel bad, it was an attack at her and tommy’s relationship, and dream owes an apology. it was weird and he shouldn’t have gone and messaged tommy’s mother, but he still refuses to acknowledge that.

though the video has a few reasonable points, i feel like it really just falls through with the misogyny point. george gropped Caiti and dream helped cover it up and run Caiti off the internet, thats why he called him misogynistic, because you only participate in behavior like that if you have a hatred towards women and girls.

also, ludwig went live mere hours ago talking abt how dream called his friend a whore and then confused her with another girl he also called a whore. how much girls must you call whores to the point where you start to confuse them?

those are my thoughts, again, maybe just watch the video yourself because i’m sure my commentary contains bias. fuck dream and have a lovely night ❤️

[lostinforestbound]

Hi! Could I request hcs from you on Rolan being jealous?

Absolutely! I had fun exploring this topic, so I hope you enjoy! This will be Rolan and a GN!Tav. To the people reading, Please feel free to add on to this and share your ideas!

Rolan and Jealousy

In Rolan's opinion, Jealousy is an improper and ugly thing to have; it sounds hypocritical when he gets jealous of a lot of things himself.

It's instinctive; his life has never been fair to him, and he never got to have what a lot of others do. It's deep rooted into his insecurity.

Loving parents? He wanted that, as his own family abandoned him. Food on the table? He wanted that too, why did he deserve to starve? Wizard Schooling? As an orphan, he never stood a chance of getting into one. No matter though, he doesn't need schooling! He's a prodigy!

Gods, he knows he shouldn't be jealous at all anymore, he will have everything he could ever want soon. It's unbelievably petty.

This jealousy starts extending towards Tav without him meaning to.

When they start taking interest in someone else, even if it's a simple conversation, his mind trails into the thought "That should be me."

As much of a loud, prickly person he is, he surprisingly says nothing about it. Instead is stews in his heart ready to burst, but he keeps it together.

Why is he so jealous if they're not even his partner? It's absurd and childish. Especially since he is unworthy of their attention. Once he has everything to provide for Cal and Lia, then he'll be worthy.

If Tav and him are together, it is a different story.

His jealousy is still quiet, but they notice how he holds their hand tighter when they speak to certain people. How his tail wraps around their calf. How he glares when other people decide to flirt with them.

Once he works on his own insecurity and Tav's reassurance that he's the only one for them, his jealousy starts fading away to nothing.

That doesn't stop him from playfully stealing them away from their companions with a "fuck off, they're mine".

Writing Blurb

When did he become such a prickly, bitter person? When, at some point of his life, did he become so jealous? Why is he so jealous of Tav, of all bloody people? Is it because they're a savior? That they saved his siblings where he couldn't? He should be grateful!

So why is he bitter, even though they saved everyone, including himself? Is he truly this entitled?

He doesn't see them approach him as he stews in his own thoughts. Usually he's not this insecure with himself, but he feels unworthy of them. He doesn't deserve them, not yet. The tower is not truly his, he has to refurnish everything to make it all of their homes. Cal and Lia love it so far, but there's still so much to be done.

Files need to be organized. All of the dealings fall on his shoulders now thanks to Lorroakan's demise. There's so much to do so he cannot truly have them yet-

His thoughts stop short when Tav kisses his cheek. "You're still dealing with these people? Don't you think it's time for a break?"

He subconsciously leans into the touch but stops when he realizes they pulled away. "I can't yet. There's too many-"

"You can do it later. Come have tea with me, or would you prefer some wine?"

He waves a dismissive hand, staring back down at the mess of papers in front of him. "I can't, Tav, they're all-"

A hand comes to his face, gently but firmly turning his head towards theirs. They don't say say anything at first, looking him straight into the eyes which makes him shut up instantly. He knows that determined look too well, and his mouth goes dry.

"You know I love you very much, right?" Before he could speak up, they continue on, "I'm already impressed with you. I don't need you to work yourself to death to prove you want to make this work. I love it here, and I love you. You shouldn't have to 'prove' anything to anyone, especially not to me."

"You're a savior-" Finger press to his lips before he finishes.

"I couldn't have done that without your help. Your arcane cannon saved my life that day. I thought I was done for until I called for your help," They state, pressing a kiss to his jaw then lips, "You're more than enough for me. Now, how about some reading and wine?" He closes his eyes briefly before that playful smirk returns, looking up at them. "I suppose if you want me to read to you that badly, I shall."

[paarthursass]

Of course everyone is entitled to their own opinions, stories will click differently with people depending on their experiences and preferences, etc etc.

However at this point I am going to be INCREDIBLY skeptical of anyone who tries to genuinely say that Nocturne is worse than the original Castlevania series.

As someone who deeply enjoyed the original Castlevania show, it was flawed. Season 2, though it had fantastic moments, was paced terribly. The show kept going back and forth with "Dracula's generals are plotting and arguing again" and "Trevor, Sypha, and Alucard are still in the library researching" for episodes on end. It ended on a high note, but god was the middle portion of that season rough.

Season 1 of Nocturne also had its pacing issues, but season 2 was so much tighter in comparison. While there were some lulls in certain plots, there was always something else to keep up the energy. While Annette, Richter, and Alucard were in transit, we were getting Drolta backstory and Maria was having her patricide moment. There was always something to keep the tension and momentum going.

I also think the relationship development in Nocturne is miles better than it was in Castlevania. I adore Trevor and Sypha, I do, but the show put very little effort into actually showing the development of their relationship. They bantered in seasons 1 and 2, and then season 3 we timeskipped ahead to when they were already in a relationship. I was fine with this, but I do wish the show had given them more development so we could see how that relationship came about. By contrast, the development of Annette and Richter was so good this season. Richter's unconditional support and unwavering in faith in Annette was incredible, and seeing him stumble over himself and be an absolute goober around her was endearing and cute.

And speaking of Annette, the development she, Maria, Drolta, Tera, and Erzsebet got was phenomenal this season. What's more, the narrative absolutely revolved around all of them. And while I adore Sypha and Carmilla and Greta, I will also be the first to admit that the original Castlevania show struggled when it came to the arcs for its female characters. Sypha was well-rounded and fleshed out as a person, but the show was never, really, about her. The big character arcs were saved for Trevor and Alucard, Sypha herself wasn't ever truly given the same narrative weight as them in spite of being part of that core trio. Carmilla also took a severe backseat after season 2, with the show never really going into any sort of depth to her motivations other than "evil girlboss." We get glimpses into her backstory, but no further depth is truly given. Compare this to what we were given with Drolta this season, which was incredibly fascinating. The show was able to make her a deliciously evil villain while giving her a sympathetic enough backstory that, while not excusing her, gave some fascinating insight into how she became who she is now.

None of this is to retroactively call the original Castlevania series bad of course; I still love it dearly and rewatch it frequently. However it did have its weak points, weak points that Nocturne has massively improved upon. As someone who went into this season with tempered expectations (based on previous seasons of Castlevania) I was absolutely blown away by the writing this season.

You are free to dislike characters, to prefer who they were in the games, or to prefer the cast of the original show. But at this point if anyone insists that Castlevania: Nocturne's writing is bad, I do have to wonder if they've actually been watching it.

[marsprincess889]

Real talk:

Is astrology entertainment, science or spirituality to you?

I have been studying astrology since 2015, vedic since 2020 and at this point I don't know if this post will be wasted, but I'm writing it anyway.

I have seen too many blogs that get multiples of thousands of notes for observations that are honestly very questionable to me😭 very questionable. Like, mixing western outer planets with vedic nakshatras, divisional charts or other concepts and then basing the observation on what? I've come to notice that a lot of them are just theoretical and based on experimental formulas.

I mean, I'm not a close-minded person in any way, but even I scratch my head at some of them 😭😭 and then there are apparently blogs that use AI which is a whole another story.

Let's be real: no matter how many times someone claims that astro obsevations should not be taken that seriously, most of the people who read them are hungry for any knowledge that might calm their uncertainty down, and therefore take it in without their own reserach or fact-checking. Plus, most of them are teens 😐 not to demean you guys but at that age knowledge like this might be a high-stake thing, because I've been there, and I know. And whatever, I might be projecting, but misinformation is very harmful even to full-grown, well-established adults.

To me astrology is an evolving knowledge and while we should definitely be open-minded, some structure is straight up imperative. And the responsibility should be on those who share their knowledge first, and then on the consumers. Unfortunately, that is how it works. We make the posts and we spread our thoughts, and they find their way into the audience's mind somehow, a lot of the times in ways that were not intended.

So maybe, we should take more responsibility for what we write or claim to be true. How would you guys feel being fed a lot of nicely packaged content that gradually but quickly turns into widely accepted axioms? Like, what the f*ck.

I mean this in friendliest most understanding way guys, I am one of you, but hopefully not the one who misleads others. I try very hard not to. I really hate when online people boost their egoes because of a growimg audience and assume a position of superiority, and feel entitled to guide others without real claim. And then what about very flashy blogs/posts that spread that misinformation in the name of fun? They too quickly turn into realiable sources of knowledge in people's minds.

In no way am I calling anyone out, unless I find one of those AI using blogs and tag them after😭 but for now, and for others, I just want to reach well-meaning people who get joy from this, like me.

This is the post where I am really asking to politely share your opinions, politely being the key word, and also respectfully. This is my position on this, and I'd love to know yours, just for an honest discussion. 💕

THIS IS A WELL MEANING POST

Well, take care.☺🥰

[louisjude]

I feel like atp even if there were plans to make bvddie canon theyre gone now. if tim minear is even half as petty as I am he would see that reaction and go u know what fuck you u actually don't get what you want now cause ur acting so goddamn entitled. like when tarlos fans got mad about the deleted scenes instead of appreciating them being released and his reaction was to say "okay fine then I just won't release deleted scenes anymore" (like I'm sure it was mostly a marketing decision but part of me thinks they intentionally released a scene about bucktommy just to prove a point.) idk man it's just really upsetting as a bi man to see the absolutely vile shit bvddie stans are saying and even tho I love the ship I now never want it to go canon cause they've fuckin ruined it

hey anon, at first let me agree with the fact that i do in fact also love bvddie a lot and i still love reading fics for them, the edits of them are fantastic and the fanart is S tier. it’s a great pairing with a lot of potential there IF the writers decided to ever go there but…

huge answer below

yeah, i agree. i honestly think before tommy was introduced again in 7x03 and the kiss in 7x04 that in my brain, bvddie was the most logical endgame for buck until it wasn’t.

i came into the show shipping bvddie much like a lot of new fans to the show but instead of hopping onto the tommy anti express hate train i found myself falling in love with buck and tommy together. at first i was still on board with bvddie still being endgame but as each episode aired after 7x04 i became faced with the reality of the situation (at least the way i see it) that bvddie might always be fanon and that’s ok because fandom keeps ships alive whether they’re canon or not. some of the biggest ships EVER are non-canon (i mean, cmon spirk? one of the OG MM ships?) so it didn’t really deter me from enjoying bvddie to this day. what HAS deterred me from interacting with bvddie content is toxic bvddies. i don’t like using the lil nicknames, idc if other ppl do, whatever, but i prefer just referring to certain kinds as just toxic plain and simple.

toxic shippers have made it difficult for anyone who multiships to interact with bvddie content. while there are incredibly nice & welcoming bvddie endgamers out there, it doesn’t overshadow the hateful ones in my online experience at least. i’ve blocked so many ppl over this ship discourse, which ive never had to do with any other fandom before the extent i have with 911. everyday i still find new ppl to block, you go under almost any comment section on the 911 insta and its filled with nasty comments abt tommy and only caring abt whether bvddie will be canon in s8. people projecting their hatred of tommy/lou onto the cast/crew of the show when it’s be said and proven time and time again that it’s quite the opposite. now im certain there’s bad apples in the bucktommy side as well, but from what ive seen online so far it is not nearly to the caliber of the bvddie side. ive blocked maybe a handful of bucktommy’s for being hateful towards eddie or being toxic overall, but ive probably blocked over 100+ toxic bvddies. i can only imagine it’d be worse if i was active on 911 twt which i’m not (thank god) but i have ventured into the tags before on there and let me tell you, it’s fucking horrifying how gross ppl are over there. twt is a cesspool for fandom anyways tho, the fucking asshole of fandom, it’s a septic tank really.

now im my own opinion which could be completely untrue of course, but just basing my thoughts on what i’ve seen online and interviews and such, tim seems to be really happy about bucktommy and idk how ppl believe otherwise. tim has expressed he loves LFJ and wanted him back on the show. tim showed up on set for the kiss scene. tim posting an entire youtube vibe abt bucktommy being soulmates that touches on the invisible string theory and explains how they accidentally found buck’s perfect match. tim sharing the deleted tommy scene is also huge but im waiting to see if he releases more (because i remember seen somewhere that he said there’d be more?) and if he does then great but it’s also still pretty telling to me after the whole karaoke fiasco.

oliver has said nothing but praises towards buck’s queer storyline. he quite literally said if you dont like it then watch something else. despite ppl saying he’s never interacted with bucktommy content online, that’s a lie because he has liked fanart of them.

aisha, kenneth & tracie have all expressed how they like tommy/lou and love working with him.

jlh said she loved bvddie before but is excited to see where buck and tommy go and then on an insta live said she doesn’t think bvddie is happening and was bombarded by toxic fans to the point of ending the live early.

ppl think it’s all some ruse to make it seem like bvddie is never happening so when it does happen it’s a “surprise” ……..

the nasty hate comments are doing nothing but exposing these types of ppl for who they are and that honestly to them, 911 is just the bvddie show to them. the people who run these social media accs for 911 are looking at these comments and cringing, they aren’t running to tim and abc being like “we must give these crazies what they want!” they’re mostly likely being ignored or honestly, as you said, being looked at and just reinforcing their decision to most likely make tommy buck’s endgame so as long as his schedule is open for filming.

what gets me the most about the hate these types of shippers spew online is how they aren’t embarrassed because they are so sooo convinced they will be right one day and therefore their insane, nasty behavior online will be justified. oliver stark literally left twt because of fans like this, people act like he was joking around, that he was shooting the shit probably because “he’s british and british people just have that kind of humor” which yes to a certain extent but let me just add these posts to set an example to why if oliver were still on twt he absolutely would not be happy with the way toxic bvddies are acting right now.

oliver (and ryan&other cast too) being positive abt bvddie never meant it was going to be canon of become canon one day. they do not decide these things, whether they believe it should or not. a lot of bvddie shippers come from previous fandoms where queerbaiting was there, where they were made fun of by actors of their ships, by the creators of the show! so i understand the frustration but oliver is not queerbaiting and buck is not a queerbait character when he quite literally is now confirmed bisexual and in a relationship with a man.

he’s just not the “correct” queer to these people. despite headcanons (hell even i hc eddie as queer!!) eddie so far, in canon, is not queer. by the end s7 he is still shown to not be over shannon and ruins his relationship with his son over this. ryan has stated in interviews he sees eddie as heterosexual, possibly pushing this because of the influx of ship discourse, and he’s glad to see a vulnerable and deep friendship that buck and eddie can have as a straight man and a queer man and how important he thinks it is.

every single thing that points to bvddie never going canon is like they’re being shot point blank in the chest. i get it, your ship not becoming canon sucks, but again, that is what fandom is for! shipping has never been about how canon smth is, there is 20k fics out there for bvddie and they aren’t canon. they can turn that into 40k, 100k, 1M if they really wanted to! instead they use their time and energy posting death threats, wishing death upon a gay character, bullying ppl online for enjoying a ship.

meanwhile from what ive seen bucktommys are rolling with goofy ass spy tommy theories created by antis and making jokes for our own fun.

so yes, i agree overall. they truly don’t deserve what they think they do. we didn’t whine and scream for a deleted scene. they did. we got ours without even expecting it and are having fun.

maybe if they behaved better i wouldn’t be so petty abt it. it’s a shame because of how much potential it has, unfortunately it is just not going that way atm. and even if it does one day, it is not because they paraded online with hate, it is because that’s the story tim and the others wanted to write and abc approved it.

🫳🎤

[goremojiz]

Hey, by the way, there is ZERO shame in hating being autistic.

It is wonderful that the community allows for positive self image and self identification with being autistic, and its great that people are encouraged to find the light and be proud of who they are.

But there is no shame in hating having autism.

It's ok to say you SUFFER or STRUGGLE with autism

It's ok to wish you never had autism

It's ok to not disclose that you are autistic

It's ok to not have any pride in being autistic

It's ok to wish you could be 'cured' of autism*

What its NOT ok to do is push toxic positivity and identifiers on people you dont even know, generalizing everyone to be happy with and/or proud of being autistic is fucked up, because the WORLD WAS NOT MADE FOR AUTISTIC PEOPLE, which means autistic people are BOUND to SUFFER OR STRUGGLE in the world, denouncing that with toxic autistic positivity WILL NOT SOLVE THESE ISSUES.

"You can still accept and be proud of your autistic identity while these things are true!" LITERALLY MISSING THE POINT. People DO NOT have to be happy with their autism or positively identify as autistic to live a fulfilled life. I live with autism. That is ALL IT IS. Autism does not make me a worse or better person. It does not make me a happier or more positive person, and personally, it does not give me ANY REASON to be prideful.

What autism DOES is make it harder to live in a neurotypical world, which will CLEARLY make me resent its existence in my life, and i should be allowed to feel that way without people shoving cupcakes and rainbows down my throat.

I would never tell someone they should be ashamed of being autistic, or should be angry at their autism, or hate their autism, god forbid id ever tell anyone they should want to be CURED of autism.*

But god fucking forbid i ever ask the same of the opposite side. Stop shoving the "positives" of being autistic at me! Stop indoctrinating me with your pride! I feel the way i feel about my autism, and you feel the way you do about yours. You have no right to tell me IM wrong. You will never live with MY autism, you will never be in MY shoes, you will never experience what I experience. I am so happy that you are happy, but you cannot force this horse to drink your goddamn water.

All this to end with, i do not feel insecure over my autism, i am not ashamed of my autism, i do not hate myself because i am autistic, autism is a neutral force in my life and i do not care for it. What i CARE about is the world i live in not accomodating me, and it will not fully accomodate me for as long as i am alive, so yes, i DO wish i could get rid of my autism, even if it gets rid of "a crucial part of me" or i change forever, that is an opinion i am entitled to hold.

* Contrary to some beliefs, i DO actually HATE mega corps ( autismspeaks ) attempting to find cures for autism! I DO understand the problem with these things, the problem being non autism people wanting to cure ALL autistic people. I am NOT supporting these beliefs by wishing i PERSONALLY was cured of autism. Do not try and educate me on the morals of EVER finding a cure! Dont try and educate me on the SCIENCE of being able to cure autism! This is a PURE hypothetical where maybe people could be allowed to ethically decide on their own without neurotypicals shoving anti autistic treatments down their throats.

[simpjaes]

One of my fav enha writers elix8r on here just announced that they were leaving and it just made me so sad to see someone leave due to people not appreciating their work and it made me think of you and how you’re literally one of my only fav writers who haven’t left this site and I hope you never do cause ily so much and I was wondering how we could show you more appreciation for giving us amazing fics? Like I know you’re loved by so many people and get good numbers on notes but still like I don’t want to lose you too so lmk if there’s anything else we can do for you to make you know we appreciate everything you put out here 🥺

; - ; time for transparency, and a HUGE rant. But first, thank you so much, im so honored you said this to me <3

there are plenty of ways you can support me! For instance, i do have a patreon set up for eventual writing [which will still be posted here too for the most part], that won't happen until i have more time outside of school. I also do have cash app! Which i prefer over ko-fi because i don't like my personal information shown ;-; you can ask me for my cash app tho!

Other ways include simply telling me how my fics make you feel, or if you like them. You are never obligated to tip me money for what I write, and i will alwwwaaays want feedback and reblogs!

that being said: am i leaving tumblr?

I've been weighing my thoughts lately, and i've boiled it down that i really don't know how I feel about being here after I started writing four years ago. I don't like the way people feel entitled to access my life, and who I am. [remember that blog who posted my selfies, and other writer's selfies just so people could see it? without our consent? example number 2398749382, truly]

I don't like the cliques [even if we all end up in one whether intentional or not, some of you are just fucking mean], i don't like the moral police, i don't like the performative activism, i don't like the copying even if on a tiny level, i don't like how people treat me like a celebrity. I don't like how I can't monitor closely for underage people who should not ever be looking at my blog, let alone reading work that i did NOT write for them. the main thing though, really is the entitlement from people, and the blatant nasty intentions a lot of people have here, especially between writers.

It's unbearable sometimes.

Every day, i have to be talked out of deleting both of my blogs and writing elsewhere specifically for the freedom to stop walking on egg shells. Then again, some days, like today, i like it here.

So, while I was recently just waiting to absolutely disappear without a word here, today I feel good. Today, I feel like staying wouldn't be too awful.

I just want to make something clear to people while I'm talking about it. If i stay here, i will never care so deeply about fan fiction, or people's opinions on it outside of feedback on my work. I care about it as a creative process, and a skill to be learned, that's it. I do not care what other people read, i do not care what they write, i don't care who jerks off to what. I will never, fucking ever take fan fiction so seriously that I feel hatred towards another person. unless it involves minors/underage people, of course. that's entirely different for me personally. For the most part, i genuinely only care about what I'm doing and what i can do better.

If i stay, i need people to stop expecting me to be a spokesperson on literally anything and everything. I am a person who is genuinely struggling just to get out of bed. I am a person who is studying and doing home work more than I would be working if I had a full time job right now. I do not have time or energy to care deeply the way others do, and even if I did have that time and energy, i put it on things i love. Like writing my own fics and not giving a fuck about what anyone else is doing.

This blog is my space. It's my world. I'm sick of expectations for me to make it anything more than what it is: a goddamn kpop smut blog.

This website is excruciating to open sometimes. but on days like today, i really appreciate it and love it here.

I will stay for now, but don't be shocked if, in the future, i leave without even saying my goodbyes. I have things outside of this blog that matter to me, and I will never let myself feel unhappy doing something i love, that's more for me than any other person in this world who wants to scream their opinions.

**edit 11/20** and with the AI apocalypse apparently happening here, it really does feel like....bad to be here. i don't want people who don't write to put themselves on the same level as real writers. y'know, the ones who put love and effort into their work. It's very upsetting to see the amount of people who don't care if it's being used.

especially like....knowing those fics get hella interaction because it seems readers, even if they don't know it, seem to value false writing over very real writing. oof. anyway

as long as my writing stays fun and positive, i will be staying.