#which always happens
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Hey. Super appreciate everyone who’s reached out asking if I’m doing okay because I haven’t been posting much (and I had let me queue run out too).
Im doing good though. Just been a lot less active online and chatting w as many people. And not taking many pics at all.
I can def get a little burnt out on socializing at times. And I’m in one of those times. Not like isolating myself or anything tho. And like still getting up to some slutty stuff of course lol.
It’ll def change again at some point. Im feeling like so ready for cooler temps and maybe being excited to get dressed more will help bring back some pics. Idk. But like I’m def still here. Tumblr is so my social media of choice. Ill be back and more active w original content stuff sometime.
#I can put a lot of pressure on myself at times to be like a nice pleasant thing for people#usually that’s something that brings me joy and I feel really good about getting to be a nice part in someone’s day even if it’s tiny#but there’s def like a not so good spin on that to#where I have a tendency to prioritize other’s comfort and like good mood over my own#all the confidence I’ve gained def has helped a lot#but i kinda think a family vacation got it all a lot more on my mind again#so I think that’s why I’ve kinda pulled back from stuff that can feel like I’m doing it for others#I like here tho#I’m not gone#just like waiting for it feel more fun again#which always happens#personal
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i can't believe it's already 8pm i had such a productive 8am-1pm and then just devolved completely when i got to my studio 😭😭 literally went on Tumblr to make 1 vent post and lost 7 hours of my life
#which always happens#BUT MY NETWORKING HAS PAID OFF I JUST GOT ASKED TO GIVE A PRESENTATION ABOUT PRONOUNS AT WORK!!!
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If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)
At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.
Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.
#i think about this story sometimes like yeah I'm proud of them for that too actually. good job baby brothers#they're not babies anymore of course they're turning 20 next year which is crazy#but they're still the type of people who'd do something if they saw something of this sort happen for sure#respectful of women and everyone else too. they're good guys#I'm glad I ended up with them living in my house against my will for like 14 years#anyway i have no idea where i was for all this but my best guess is probably a friends house given the time period#i was always at my besties house lol#i hope she's doing well too actually. haven't spoken in forever...#bestie from greek elementary school... if you're out there... let's get muffins and fanta at the bakery across the street again someday 💜☮️
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#been makig enemies w my neighbors today#which always happens#just dont look at my yard dont touch my territory#yeah my bad for not setting the fkn boundaries upfront but this is so a given#and i dont know how to not yell snd be heard#anyway irrelevant but there was a tiny spider on my arm today and it was like he was trying to take me on in a fight#which is fair i was cleaning off the patio and probably wiping out his home#i set him on the grass but that little guy was just like me fr
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the fact that shakespeare was a playwright is sometimes so funny to me. just the concept of the "greatest writer of the English language" being a random 450-year-old entertainer, a 16th cent pop cultural sensation (thanks in large part to puns & dirty jokes & verbiage & a long-running appeal to commoners). and his work was made to be watched not read, but in the classroom teachers just hand us his scripts and say "that's literature"
just...imagine it's 2450 A.D. and English Lit students are regularly going into 100k debt writing postdoc theses on The Simpsons screenplays. the original animation hasn't even been preserved, it's literally just scripts and the occasional SDH subtitles.txt. they've been republished more times than the Bible
#due to the Great Data Decay academics write viciously argumentative articles on which episodes aired in what order#at conferences professors have known to engage in physically violent altercations whilst debating the air date number of household viewers#90% of the couch gags have been lost and there is a billion dollar trade in counterfeit “lost copies”#serious note: i'll be honest i always assumed it was english imperialism that made shakespeare so inescapable in the 19th/20th cent#like his writing should have become obscure at the same level of his contemporaries#but british imperialists needed an ENGLISH LANGUAGE (and BRITISH) writer to venerate#and shakespeare wrote so many damn things that there was a humongous body of work just sitting there waiting to be culturally exploited...#i know it didn't happen like this but i imagine a English Parliament House Committee Member For The Education Of The Masses or something#cartoonishly stumbling over a dusty cobwebbed crate labelled the Complete Works of Shakespeare#and going 'Eureka! this shall make excellent propoganda for fabricating a national identity in a time of great social unrest.#it will be a cornerstone of our elitist educational institutions for centuries to come! long live our decaying empire!'#'what good fortune that this used to be accessible and entertaining to mainstream illiterate audience members...#..but now we can strip that away and make it a difficult & alienating foundation of a Classical Education! just like the latin language :)'#anyway maybe there's no such thing as the 'greatest writer of x language' in ANY language?#maybe there are just different styles and yes levels of expertise and skill but also a high degree of subjectivity#and variance in the way that we as individuals and members of different cultures/time periods experience any work of media#and that's okay! and should be acknowledged!!! and allow us to give ourselves permission to broaden our horizons#and explore the stories of marginalized/underappreciated creators#instead of worshiping the List of Top 10 Best (aka Most Famous) Whatevers Of All Time/A Certain Time Period#anyways things are famous for a reason and that reason has little to do with innate “value”#and much more to do with how it plays into the interests of powerful institutions motivated to influence our shared cultural narratives#so i'm not saying 'stop teaching shakespeare'. but like...maybe classrooms should stop using it as busy work that (by accident or designs)#happens to alienate a large number of students who could otherwise be engaging critically with works that feel more relevant to their world#(by merit of not being 4 centuries old or lacking necessary historical context or requiring untaught translation skills)#and yeah...MAYBE our educational institutions could spend less time/money on shakespeare critical analysis and more on...#...any of thousands of underfunded areas of literary research i literally (pun!) don't know where to begin#oh and p.s. the modern publishing world is in shambles and it would be neat if schoolwork could include modern works?#beautiful complicated socially relevant works of literature are published every year. it's not just the 'classics' that have value#and actually modern publications are probably an easier way for students to learn the basics. since lesson plans don't have to include the#important historical/cultural context many teens need for 20+ year old media (which is older than their entire lived experience fyi)
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summer of junior year 06/11
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#gorgug thistlespring#riz gukgak#kristen applebees#figueroth faeth#fabian seacaster#adaine abernant#the bad kids#this is like. the First time I put down a palette for the kids lmao#I thiiiink its pretty consistent with the tones I did with my early sketches? iirc#gods. Ive been staring at this for Hours. I need to sleep lol#summer... it is happening. I feel like that always brings with it big emotions for me#it is. a little bit funny to me that whether these kids get a peaceful summer or not depends fully on how many roll20 campaigns happen#between now and a definitive end/last season of fh lmao#but also the last ''summer'' movie I watched was uhhh summer of 84. which. mmmmm#grim affair! so I'd need to stock up on less gloomy stuff to even think abt this...#well. what I need right now is sleep. so sleep I shall. thank u for tuning in today. see u again I think
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safety first! 🏍️🏍️
#me sitting down to draw a small loose sketch:#im always scared of painting but because i started this off with “just a little doodle” i was able to more loosely slap shit down#and not worry as much and have some fun#which rarely ever happens and i worry too much when i paint#but id say this turned out okay#i did keep it too loose and not figure out details in the sketch stage which had me end up having to figure it out while painting which was#also kind of fun#but i might be more careful next time#sonadow#my art#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#also yes i am not spending 5 hours drawing his fucking bike
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Day 22 - Candy
+ alt version
#myherotober2024#himiko wants to eat ochako bc she's the sweetest girl part 2 electric boogaloo#if I got a nickel every time I drew Himiko eating tiny Ochako#i'd have two nickels#which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice#anyway me try to say consistent with artstyle/aesthetic challenge FAILED#again#eh well I'd be boring to always draw in the same way#bnha#mha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#togachako#himiko toga#ochako uraraka#fanart
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Part two of the reverse verse is here! The reverse boys meet the original boys. They're not really getting along as well as I had hoped...
Again, this was a commission for @i-am-as-normal-as-you-are and they asked for angst/funny vibes... I think it's mostly just angst though. Oh, well...
Part one
#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin x charles#reverse verse#there's a lot i could say about this one#the idea of someone telling edwin he's go to hell is absurd as it is#edwin telling edwin? lmao#the charles... oh they hate each other#reverse charles is angry (he always is) because this other version of himself was spared hell... in exchange for edwin going there?#obviously it doesn't work like that. og charles hadn't even been born when his edwin was sent to hell#but anger is not a rational thing. especially not for this boy#og charles? you don't want to know what he's thinking#i'm telling you anyways#he... kind of agrees. if someone had to go to hell#why edwin? why not him? there is an universe in which that happened#so why not this one? unfair#then again... look at this charles who did go to hell#he's explosive. he's DANGEROUS#he shouldn't be near edwin#if og charles had gone to hell would he be the same? would he be too angry to be trusted? would he be like his father?#and if so would that really count as saving edwin at all?#if this is the kind of best friend poor edwin would end up with?#on a happier note though#physical contact!! reverse charles loves it#i don't have all the details but his hell was on the rage ring so it was different to the dollhouse.#and it was a very violent place so boy loves gentle touches#luckily edwin is more willing to give them to him with each year#i think what the edwins are feeling is a lot more clear#but still would love to hear your thoughts
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Lil birdie and his eldritch demon (build in friend) !!!
#bumfuzzled art#bumfuzzled animations#mha#tokoyami fumikage#my absolute beloved lil guy#dark shadow#they deserve a separate tag#I’m just rotating through old interests#I always kept up with the manga#the story lost me halfway through#but I just had to know what happened to my two favorite students#I’ll probably rewatch the whole series before the new season#which likely means more art!#also I seriously could not log into this account anymore. but we’re so back
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the choice between Edward & Jacob is not a question of which relationship is healthier or which partner is best suitable for Bella. neither is correct. neither is best. neither produces a happy ending for Bella. at the end of the day this is still a vampire novel. any choice Bella could make would yield, at best, a bittersweet happily ever after.
if she chooses Edward, she gets the terrifying Breaking Dawn ending: a girl who rejected her call to grow up has hung her love & her eternity on an emotionally stunted partner who hates himself marginally less than he loves her. she's a teen mom with a kid she never wanted who perpetuates the generational trauma passed down from her parents. by keeping this child, the Cullens have set the stage for an uprising/cold war against the Volturi who are likely to take revenge in order to maintain power. Bella is living in a tenuous "dream come true" wrapped in a nightmare & doesn't realize it.
choosing Jacob is the true coming-of-age ending that rips the stitches out of a wound that never fully healed. even if we ignore the fact that she ends up with a man who sexually assaulted her (we must bear in mind Jacob's character is influenced by smeyer's racism, but it did happen), they can't have a secure romantic relationship. based on the high imprinting rate of the pack, Jacob will likely find his imprint in his lifetime & will lose himself to the imprintee. he will no longer be her Jacob. he will inevitably abandon her (whether he wants to or not), & she must reconcile with the reality that she will always be inadequate to Jacob's imprint. & say he never manages to escape the vampires? he will presumably not age for a long time, meaning the relationship Bella always feared with Edward (her being an old grandmother while he stays forever young) remains a possibility. this is the story of a girl who slaps a Band Aid on an open wound & calls herself healed while flinching every time she sees the shadow of the knife that cut her.
if she chooses neither (team therapy), her healing requires her to lose or be at least partially disconnected from everyone she cares about. Bella must spend the rest of her life shut out from one world while never fully existing in her human world ever again. she must always keep secrets. she can never go back home. even in the unlikely event that she manages to escape the Volturi, the threat of being hunted by vampires will never leave her. in addition, she must face her worst fears (aging, losing Edward) while always keeping in mind the immortal life that could have been hers, if only.
even the "healthiest" option produces scars that will never quite heal.
Twilight is a horror. Twilight is a vampire novel. Twilight is gothic. Twilight is fiction. neither Edward nor Jacob is a "bad" choice because neither will give Bella her happily ever after. the choice between Edward & Jacob is simply a matter of which horror story you prefer to read.
#twilight#twilight renaissance#bella swan#the twilight saga#edward cullen#twilight saga#twilight meta#not to be a downer but the edward/jacob feud is silly#i understand this feud will continue in perpetuity because controversy & drama will always garner attention in online spaces etc#but the idea that either of these men will provide the happy story some people in this fandom want is an illusion#because no matter what happens The Twilight Saga still operates in the context of the vampire/gothic genre which by design can't produce#a 100% happy ending.#'oh but it's a YA romance so-' yeah so the black walls get wallpapered. they're still black underneath & nothing changes that#'this story is a romance' and 'this story is a horror story' are two ideas that can coexist.#i wish we were able to debate the choice between Edward & Jacob while still bearing in mind neither choice is wrong#i think this fandom would be a lot less toxic & mean to each other for no fuckin reason but oh well
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dad’s back
#art#my art#wincest#samdean#this is unfinished (clearly) lol but im just acepting that it will not ever become more finished#so i may as well post it. which is what always happens 🫶👍
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CROWLEY SSR THOUGHTS
there is zero basis for this, but I can't get this thought of my head
I don't know why I decided to draw it this way
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#(these will be relevant in a moment)#this isn't going to happen. but WHAT IF.#anyway i didn't get him (damnit birdman come home) so i had to look up his story#and let me tell you friends my findings were SHOCKING#crowley canonically likes vegetables which means that the crowley is revaan theory = BUSTED#crowley is sailor venus = CONFIRMED#(i know 'whip of love' is a saying but that's where my mind always goes)#DISCLAIMER: this is (mostly) a joke please continue to hold whatever theories and headcanons you want#but look. c'mon. look over here at this whiteboard i've covered in red yarn.#revaan being a picky eater has come up multiple times and there is an entire whole bit about how much he hated jerky and refused to eat it#and now they've made a point of talking about how crowley will eat almost anything and loOoOoves wild game meat especially#it's SO stupid but i can't help but read way too much into it#(this is tumblr if you don't want to see incredibly stupid overanalysis of anime guys then why are you HERE)#and i gotta hold on to something because otherwise whenever malleus and crowley are onscreen together i just keep going 'same hair color...#unless this is like. some kind of deep cover thing.#lilia doesn't recognize him because he saw him eat a green bean once and revaan would NEVER#crowley's secret is safe for another day#(serious hat on: i do think they're probably connected in some way)#(but there's something deeper going on that we're just not clued into yet that will hopefully explain things)#man forget revaan what if crowley whips off his mask and it turns out he was meleanor this whole time#wait hold on meleanor loves jerky. IT ALL FITS...
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if you thought i'd introduce my rooksona with something epic and cool with immense lore... here's lucanis with cookie rook instead. i hope it captures the energy, and more
#update: someone in the tags called cookie rook rookie and im crying. so true#ive said it once and ill say it again im cringe but im free!! peace joy and love on earth#anyways- i always have my first playthrough with an insert / sona adjacent character then the second one is my canon pc#so this is just something silly with my cringefail of a crow sona who managed to somehow fall for arguably one of the most prolific crows#which is hilarious to me#rook#also this goes without saying for all my art but please dont put any weird comments abt any of the characters in my tags!! tysm wahh#nothings happened i just thought it should be said lol#rooksona#dragon age#veilguard#no spoilers cause this is just. my own brainrot atp#lucanis dellamorte#lucanis#dragon age veilguard#ibon draws#meme#dragon age meme#rook x Lucanis
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Question about your changling AU, where did you learn about the ins and outs of Fae and Changling myths? I'm interested in learning too but not sure where to start lol
some of the lore I have for the AU I crafted myself, otherwise I read a lot of old faerie tales growing up and my mom, for some reason, knows an awful lot about shit like that, so some of it is just innate from her. otherwise i just read a lotttttt of books around the concepts of these things when I was younger because I was fascinated with jim henson's worlds
#replies#look into old myths and legends#read old books#start with uhhhh. uhhhhhhh#the princess and the goblin. the moorechild. shit like that#i read a lot of robin mckinley's works growing up which lean more into the silent side of magic shit#where magic is very much an unknown element. and defining it is not only risky but generally stupid#so sometimes shit happens. and you can make a cause and effect. you can do research. but there is always folly when playing with fate#so i feel like how I write magic tends to be a little more esoteric and odd#not so much chanting spells and giving exact definitions#more of. magic being a force like gravity. whos effects are usually not seen without it in action
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Slimecicle: Whoever said "yaoi is dead" dude, I think you need to put on your freakin'– your bi-focal lenses. Anything's possible.
💗💜💙
#Slimecicle#Charlie Slimecicle#July 22 2024#Dead Plate#People were being kinda weird about bi people in chat because a dude they wanted to ship with a guy said he had a GF#Which sucks. And isn't new because people being weird about bi folks happens no matter who's chat it is#So it was nice seeing Charlie shut it down in a funny way#:')#As a bi person I appreciated it#I don't personally come across a lot of bi-phobia (thankfully) so I'm always startled when I see it.#Like ''Oh. I forgot people are stupid sometimes.''#Anyways that's about as personal as I'll ever get in the tags on this blog lmao
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