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sometimes storytime just has to be wherever you can get the kids to sit still.
#they have perfectly good couches and a nice rug in the living room#and in the den#which also has a couch#but we're doing storytime on the kitchen/dining room floor makes sense#safiya holiday#willow holiday#jol1#joy of life legacy#luther holiday by kashisun
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the fact that shakespeare was a playwright is sometimes so funny to me. just the concept of the "greatest writer of the English language" being a random 450-year-old entertainer, a 16th cent pop cultural sensation (thanks in large part to puns & dirty jokes & verbiage & a long-running appeal to commoners). and his work was made to be watched not read, but in the classroom teachers just hand us his scripts and say "that's literature"
just...imagine it's 2450 A.D. and English Lit students are regularly going into 100k debt writing postdoc theses on The Simpsons screenplays. the original animation hasn't even been preserved, it's literally just scripts and the occasional SDH subtitles.txt. they've been republished more times than the Bible
#due to the Great Data Decay academics write viciously argumentative articles on which episodes aired in what order#at conferences professors have known to engage in physically violent altercations whilst debating the air date number of household viewers#90% of the couch gags have been lost and there is a billion dollar trade in counterfeit “lost copies”#serious note: i'll be honest i always assumed it was english imperialism that made shakespeare so inescapable in the 19th/20th cent#like his writing should have become obscure at the same level of his contemporaries#but british imperialists needed an ENGLISH LANGUAGE (and BRITISH) writer to venerate#and shakespeare wrote so many damn things that there was a humongous body of work just sitting there waiting to be culturally exploited...#i know it didn't happen like this but i imagine a English Parliament House Committee Member For The Education Of The Masses or something#cartoonishly stumbling over a dusty cobwebbed crate labelled the Complete Works of Shakespeare#and going 'Eureka! this shall make excellent propoganda for fabricating a national identity in a time of great social unrest.#it will be a cornerstone of our elitist educational institutions for centuries to come! long live our decaying empire!'#'what good fortune that this used to be accessible and entertaining to mainstream illiterate audience members...#..but now we can strip that away and make it a difficult & alienating foundation of a Classical Education! just like the latin language :)'#anyway maybe there's no such thing as the 'greatest writer of x language' in ANY language?#maybe there are just different styles and yes levels of expertise and skill but also a high degree of subjectivity#and variance in the way that we as individuals and members of different cultures/time periods experience any work of media#and that's okay! and should be acknowledged!!! and allow us to give ourselves permission to broaden our horizons#and explore the stories of marginalized/underappreciated creators#instead of worshiping the List of Top 10 Best (aka Most Famous) Whatevers Of All Time/A Certain Time Period#anyways things are famous for a reason and that reason has little to do with innate “value”#and much more to do with how it plays into the interests of powerful institutions motivated to influence our shared cultural narratives#so i'm not saying 'stop teaching shakespeare'. but like...maybe classrooms should stop using it as busy work that (by accident or designs)#happens to alienate a large number of students who could otherwise be engaging critically with works that feel more relevant to their world#(by merit of not being 4 centuries old or lacking necessary historical context or requiring untaught translation skills)#and yeah...MAYBE our educational institutions could spend less time/money on shakespeare critical analysis and more on...#...any of thousands of underfunded areas of literary research i literally (pun!) don't know where to begin#oh and p.s. the modern publishing world is in shambles and it would be neat if schoolwork could include modern works?#beautiful complicated socially relevant works of literature are published every year. it's not just the 'classics' that have value#and actually modern publications are probably an easier way for students to learn the basics. since lesson plans don't have to include the#important historical/cultural context many teens need for 20+ year old media (which is older than their entire lived experience fyi)
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HAUNTING PHOTO TAKEN SECONDS BEFORE DISASTER
#Sorry it was only a matter of time before I posted images of these guys almost fucking but not#Important lore: This is what is considered a very nice bed (missing its sheets though)#In a large home there's usually semi-public areas (where guests will attend) with elevated couches that are often slept on#but this is mostly because they serve dual functions for reclining/sleeping/chatting/eating.#Beds in private bedrooms are very low to the ground and serve the exclusive purpose of sleeping on. A nice one like this has a frame#supporting and slightly elevating a mat (though most people just sleep on mats directly on the ground).#Also this image is SLIGHTLY self-censored in that I made the loincloth bigger in hopes of not getting hit with that tumblr autoflag#Loincloths intended to be worn underneath regular clothing are small and utilitarian. Mostly there to prevent accidental#exposure of nudity through skirts and to provide some support- but not decorative or meant to be seen (usually just simple cloth)#One like this (with large flaps and semi-decorative in terms of being dyed) is worn in contexts where one expects to be minimally#clothed in public (mainly bathing/swimming) which provides more thorough coverage of nudity and often has decorative elements#given it's intended to be seen. This wouldn't normally be worn under a skirt like this.#brakul red dog#janeys haidamane
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did you know that there 8 actors who have been in all 3 members of the "sci fi trifecta" (Star Trek, Star Wars, Doctor Who) and did you know that one of them is Siddig. in related news guess who's finally gonna listen to Doctor Who audios
#I do not behave as insane as I do on here in my real life#but my parents are still like. generally aware of who my favourite characters are in the things I watch#and which actors im into#so my dad was reading me this list#and because he knows. who my favourite boy is. he made it a dramatic reveal#my dad: you know him as Julian Bashir-#me physically shooting upright on the couch: MY MAN??#this inspired my dad to look at his IMDB#which reminded me I do want to watch his Gotham episodes#mostly because I have a huge embarrassing crush on him but also im genuinely interested in seeing him as Ra'as#but also he was in an episode of Merlin??#I used to love Merlin as a teen#ive watched it a couple times#gonna watch that one episode again#again because. I have a huge embarrassing crush#never been so down bad for an actor ive watched things just to see them specifically#but the grip he has on me. iron clad.
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so you're telling me that t gave buck the ibuprofen that gave him boils
#yall have been dating how long and you dont even know your mans allergies????#this is so wild#bt is so bones#like even if it isnt bones (which it is)#its just bones vibes#doomed relationship#like no chemistry no real involvement in each other's lives aside from like. basic things#also#buck has a couch???#wasnt that the couch he got from margaret#t lying on that thang like a corpse telling buck to shut it does not bode well#which yay!!!!#bt bones#anti tommy kinard#anti bucktommy#me thinks
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my favorite mulder moments from s3
when he’s dead in episode 1, in the afterlife being urged to return to his body, and it is only only hearing that his sister isn’t there which convinces him to come back to life (we can analyze this for years and we should!)
after their narrow escape from the disease center in episode 2, skinner asks what mulder could possibly hope to find in his wildest dreams. his answer: “why they killed my father. and what happened to my sister. and what they did to agent scully” which pretty much proved that she is part of his family to him <3 and he just wants to protect his family and keep everybody safe... i'll cry
and despite how badly he wanted the truth and was willing to risk it all, he agreed to turn the tape they had nearly died over so they could come out of hiding, so scully could see if her sister was okay (AUGHHH putting his life's ambition on hold for her...)
(this is more to do with behind the scenes stuff, but there’s a little moment in episode 7 where his hair is all messed up, and then in the very next shot it’s all fixed again, and i thought it was so funny to see, because you could tell he got retouched between takes)
in that same episode there’s also a moment where he keeps replaying a mysterious noise over and over again. scully asks if he has found anything, and he replies “no, but i’m really beginning to like the tape” with a big goofy smile <3
in episode 9, he has his office set up like a movie theater, with his feet tossed up on on the desk. he is SO excited to show scully the alien autopsy video he ordered from a magazine for $29.95!!!
then he comments that “it’s widely held that aliens don’t have blood, scully” with great seriousness which had me LOSING it. yes of course, mulder, she CLEARLY should have known!
(later in that episode, skinner comes down to scold them, and asks why they’re even in pennsylvania, to which he says that they’re here on a “video piracy case” <- LMAOOOO least convincing lie ever told)
also in episode 9: his line “you think believing is easy?” followed by letting that sit for a bit, exploring the tensions and implications- how hard it is for mulder to keep the faith that there are answers in this world, and perhaps even justice to go along with them. how it doesn’t come as naturally to him as you may think, it’s about hope and protecting your loved ones and doing whatever it takes, killing or dying, to learn the Truth, because the Truth is hope
(at this point in taking notes, i proceeded to ramble on for like a paragraph with Intense Emotions, and even talking about this episode again is making me want to go on a lecture tour about how fantastic it was)
in episode 10, a passenger on the train with her child sees the dead body of a doctor and screams. mulder pivots, tells the woman that the doctor is just sick, smiles, and ruffles the kid’s hair
(he ruffles another kid’s hair in episode 23… don’t think i didn’t notice)
angrily quoting scripture in episode 11
(and he also says he considers the bible to be poetry rather than a literal history in this one, which i think is fascinating)
sitting in his car, watching the night sky in episode 12, when he asks over the phone: “look scully, i know it’s not your inclination, but did you ever look up into the night sky and feel certain that not only was something up there, but it was looking down at you at the exact same moment, and was just as curious about you as you are about it?” goshhh what a wonderful way to see the world... a universe of mutual curiosity with answers that can be found if only you are dedicated enough to hunt for them
dr. ivanov’s little bug robot liking mulder and following him around <3 someone pls get him a cat!!
AND that episode wrapup: “the development of our cerebral cortex has been the greatest achievement of the evolutionary processes. big deal.” <- it had me absolutely giggling… as a profiler and student of the human brain, it really IS a big deal!! he knows that!! but he was so angry about how it all went down his bitterness won that day lmaooo
(BUT ALSO: he wakes up in his JEANS in this episode??? what kind of dude SLEEPS in his JEANS... we need to launch a full federal investigation)
when he tries to call to the kitty in episode 14 <3
and then he goes to the library to read up on gargoyles, but he was pulling so many all-nighters that he just straight up fell asleep on the table, and it was So Cute
in episode 15, he knows that "ronin" is the term for a samurai without a master, which made me laugh (and he claims he knows it from watching samurai movies… nerd!)
when he hops into an empty grave in episode 19 and starts digging with his hands while someone yells “what the hell is he doing!” and scully watches, knowing that is the sort of behavior he is just hardwired to do
mulder (possibly) eating an entire sweet potato pie in episode 20. narrative-wise we shall never know the truth.
how intensely attached he is to skinner being revealed in episode 21; how he believes whole-heartedly that he is innocent even when all of the evidence is against him. how when skinner dismisses his case as none of their business mulder counters with "of course it is", as if there was no other option. how he listens to skinner’s stories of terror in vietnam. how he is disappointed skinner won’t tell him what really happened that night. if you want to cry, go watch that scene where he leaves skinner's office realizing he won't talk about it. it made me emotional.
(he also pulls a giant book off his shelf in that episode and flips to the page talking about succubi, which makes me wonder what other kinds of literature he keeps in his office, pls let me come browse)
((there is also a moment where he gets really angry and pushes his jacket back with his hands on his hips and i swear my heart nearly stopped))
episode 22’s “i know the difference between expectation and hope. seek and you shall find, scully” it's just SO good and so Him
when he visits her motel room in episode 23 and gets all cozied up on her couch to talk case theories... i was giggling!!!
how he tries so hard to be brave and hold it together when she is missing in that one, too- calling her mother to check where she is, apologizing for disturbing mrs. scully because he knows how intense this must be for her after everything her daughter has gone through, bouncing his basketball in his apartment to keep himself moving, how he tells the lone gunmen with an even voice that she isn’t okay when he needs to go ID a body, and how he kicks the door of the man who got them involved with this case, forgoing answers for her. ripping my hair out from all my emotions btw.
mulder being convinced that he could talk scully back into her senses even after she shot at him (!!!) and refusing to accept her mother’s answers that she wasn’t at her home
when he visits scully in the hospital after her wavelength-induced psychosis, he enters the room with his hands up, jokingly surrendering after she had held him at gunpoint. because he cannot be serious ever, and he Needs to make a joke and lighten the mood, to try and make her feel comfortable.
AND how he turns the TV off when he enters, knowing what the TV did to get her there. and how he leaves after a while, whispering “why don’t you try and get some rest?” on the way out, so scared to have seen her like that, wanting to give her all the time she needs to recover <3
in the finale he sits by his mom in her hospital bed; he holds her hand, notices she is cold and covers her with a blanket (gosh that one made me inconsolable- scully was talking to him and he couldn't even respond, because his mom was cold, and he needed to fix that, to make her comfortable)
he touches her hair and whispers “mom”, and smiles at her when she opens her eyes, saying everything is going to be okay; then later, he’s crying as he holds her hand to his cheek, and i’m crying too
and when they go to meet up with “jeremiah smith” later, he makes scully get behind him, holding the only weapon that could kill jeremiah in his hands and standing in front of her to keep her safe
#i love that he is willing to kill for those he loves and for the Truth and has hope despite it all#i love that he has his fierce and terrible need to Protect everyone even if it gets smothering at points#i love how he loves the people in his life so deeply#what a guy. just what an absolute guy.#i want to put him in my pocket and also kiss him and also make him kiss scully and also sometimes slap him.#sighs deeply.#i think he wants a real family of his own someday terribly which also makes me super emo#and he's so smart and he's such a nerd and he has no life but that one is actually just sad#because he devotes every inch of himself to finding answers that there is only a little time left#and i guess he uses it to watch samurai movies?#and how he SLEEPS on his STUPID COUCH#mulder........#the x files#txf#fox mulder
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[TUVOKTOBER: Day 17] Little Things Grown with Care.
#I drew this based heavily on illustrations by seiichi hayashi! They all have a pretty calming dreamy feel#I also had to reference Tuvok's room which was HARD#You catch a glimpse of it in 'Alter Ego' though.#he has so many candles and candle holders and ornate looking trinkets#I like it...it feels grandparent-cozy if that makes sense? Like it'd smell of incense and be a little too warm#and then there's also - of course- the plants <3 mostly flowers#I like the thought of Tuvok's loungewear being a bit fancy and silky#but when someone knocks at the door he quickly pulls on a robe or gown to go over it for modesty's sake#I wonder what he does in the privacy of his quarters...we really on see him meditating or reading#I wonder if he ever watches a movie and eats whatever he'd consider a snack while lounging on the couch#I wonder if he hums while cleaning#Tuvoktober#Tuvok#st voyager#st voyager art
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Trying to start a for real wedding registry so when we post on social media we can have links and Amazon is easy and ubiquitous but doesn’t actually have a lot of quality bedding and home goods.
I don’t want ten million links but I’d like to get stuff that doesn’t just wear out immediately.
#ramblies#it’s fine for tech but I’m looking for new bedding and it’s all synthetic $30 crap#no I want the good shit where’s your cotton linen and wool#if you type silk it will automatically include satin polyester#frustrating#also as like a never gonna happen I’d like to put a couch on it but my beloved has always wanted a love sac sectional#which is definitely not on Amazon
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Sometimes your life feels like it’s over and then you’re 6 years older in the blink of an eye.
#sentimental story time in the tags#this is about an ex friendship that changed me as a person forever and my current best friend who has also changed me#I still remember the time my ex friend and I held hands but they got uncomfortable and dropped mine pretty quickly#which ofc is perfectly fine yknow#but I really wanted to keep holding their hand because I was and am horrifically touchstarved#we never held hands again and cut ties as sophomores in high school#but in junior year I met my current best friend and she was so comfortable with touch#I wrote in a journal somewhere that her hands are always cold and I want to keep them warm#she visited my home after graduation this one time and while we were hanging out on my couch she just grabbed my hand and started messing#with my fingers and running her thumb over my nails#it was so casual and went on for a while#I don’t even know if she realised she was messing with my hand#but it was really nice#haven’t seen her in months because of school but I can’t wait to see her again after this semester is over#moose posting#moose rambles
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Last month one of my neighbors who appeared to be selling their house left a beautiful hardwood table in pieces on the curb as trash that had just. Had the MOST UGLY WHITE PAINT slapped on it in the most slapdash, hideous fashion you've ever seen in your life, which I assume is why they put a 35 year old cherry table on the fucking curb.
Anyway I rescued it and I need everybody to see my refinishing process photos because I am shameless and also extremely proud of this table (I've never refinished furniture before).
Look at my table!!!
#At last a real grown up table!!! For my grown up formal dining room!!!!#JUST because the framed art is of video game characters is not material.#I'm so happy with this table!!! it seats TEN PEOPLE with both leaves in!!#the first photo has our old table which was an IKEA table that was also free that I got off a friend and was fine. but.#also had the legs in a weird place and was from IKEA.#i wanted a real hardwood table for entertaining but we had to buy a new couch this year and replace our car suspension#so it was not in the budget. and then. THIS BEAUTY. Came into my life for the low low price of Free.99#technically i did spend money on refinishing supplies. but like less than $100 for this table is a BARGAIN#anyway I'm an incorrigible showoff and would have Literally Died if I didn't post pictures so here we are#related to#my crafts
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law has his whole being a little shit and pretending to be evil and cold to hide how depressed he is, but also to hide how much he likes being helpful to people
#the survivors guilt warring with the need to never get close to anyone again so he doesn’t lose them#by which i mean the survivors guilt compels him/gives him a desire to help people and save them from violence#but also he’s like what if i fail there’s no point even trying#he has this whole badass persona he tries to put on and it’s like babe you’re just a lil black kitty#you don’t have to couch your heart in 3000 layers of attitude#but who are we kidding and who am i to judge#it’s funny bc it makes it even more obvious how he’s actually a failguy#anyways i love him#my lil emo fool#trafalgar law#op
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it's been a strange arc so far
when I was 19-21 and having an extremely imbalanced relationship with someone in their mid 30s I was like 'we are both adults so the fact that this is fucking me up is my fault'
when I hit my late 20s and saw how young people in their late teens and early 20s seem now I was like 'oh wait I was so fucking young I didn't know shit about my own limits or about managing relationships and I don't know why someone in their mid to late 30s would be into that except for nefarious purposes'
the weird bit is now I'm into my 30s - not even that far into my 30s - and while I still wholeheartedly believe that last thing about how young (and self destructive) 20 year olds are, I'm also kind of like 'huh, actually nobody I know that age has their shit remotely together and frankly the reason this fucked me up is because NEITHER of us knew what the fuck we were doing it how to cope, for different reasons and at different life stages, and there probably wasn't any malice or intent to control as much as there was Blind Flailing.'
#red said#this is about one specific relationship btw.#wanted to clarify that because there have been several men over 30 who fucked me up between the ages of 16 and 21#and i adamently do NOT want to keep pretending that was incompetence. that was predation. sometimes incompetent predation.#but with the person I'm thinking of? she really hurt me and the age gap and difference in life stage was a not insubstantial factor#but mostly she was just spiralling out really badly and i offered her something to hold and she did try to keep things balanced and safe#but she was very off balance at the time. so the fucking up was more that than it was about power or control#we were just both very stupid and very sensible at the same time which is a great way to dig yourselves deeper#and idk I'm like 2 or 3? years younger than she was when we met iirc#and the closer i get to her age the more I'm like yeah you know that's a human reaction. i can see how that happens.#and i kind of feel bad for the amount of bitterness I've held and malice I've ascribed because ultimately#i think it was just two people having different crises trying and failing to figure out boundaries around them#but this has come on really suddenly and it's kind of fucking me up as well#cause I'm frightened of falling back into patterns of oh it's never anyone else's fault that i got hurt#but i don't. thiiiiink so? bc it's really only this one thing. i am not making these excuses for other people.#idk. sometimes people just fuck each other up.#I'm not even sure i think it was a bad thing that it happened. a lot of bad happened but we also catalyzed a lot of change in each other.#i feel like the reason i keep picking at this is that it's complicated. it was not good. it was good.#she really fucked me up and she was a terrible friend to me at times. but she was also the first person to really look after me.#and she kind of helped me start to learn how to need other people. which was good.#when my grandma died she wrapped me in a blanket and cancelled her plans to watch TV on the couch with me#even though she barely knew me at that point#and she was one of the first people to consistently ask for consent and check in. and she did genuinely care about me.#but she also truly fucked me over a couple of times.#but mostly that was just because she was buried in a pit of despair and self loathing.#she seems a lot happier now. i hope she is. i don't know if i want to know her particularly but i think if she's happy she'd be nice to know
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Guys. I did not know before now that writing could be painfully millennial in a full prose book but the pho*nix ke*per has proven me wrong and I have to complain about it in the tags
#k talks#weird astrix is because I don't want this showing up in the tag just in case#but I NEED To complain about this book real quick. I love a magical zoo that part was fun but good lord the main character....#I get what the author was trying to do with her arc and I will say the second half of the book is better than the first but Jesus christ#I hated the main character at the start she is SO annoying. not to be mean I know the whole point is her overcoming her anxiety#but like. I swear to God every two pages was just oooh I'm so awkward I'm such an introvert I'm such an awkward scrawny turtle!!!!#like CONSTANT. even worse though she's mean about it. for like half the book she's just so incredibly judgy at her public outreach job#she literally works at a zoo and has to learn hmmm... zoos need money??? zoos are also about... educating the public??? WHATT????#also it just felt so weird because she is constantly talking about how pale and skinny and pasty and scrawny and white she is#like constantly. and her best friend is a black trans woman who CONSTANTLY coddles and supports the mc in a very maternal way#and her love interest is latina-coded I'm pretty sure and is much more confident and opinionated and is literally described as fiery once#so like. hm! Okay! interesting! Interesting stereotypes going on tbh!!!#the mc learns some lessons and gets slightly less insufferable but like. also it was SO predictable I always knew what was gonna happen nex#and the writing style... like I said above it is MILLENNIAL and not in a fun way. the word boop is used several times. the humor is awful#the main character has multiple conversations about being so uwu bottom even though there's no sex in this book??? why??#and every single character description is repeated OVER and OVER with the same two details. SO much telling basically no showing#the writing was just so... quirky. ooooh look at me I'm awkward I trip over things I can't do make-up I love sitting on the couch!!!!#like. idk. obviously a lot of people really liked this book and I SHOULD have been one of them. Sapphic romance at a magic zoo....#but the execution was just so incredibly not my thing it actively pissed me off even if I can see what the author was trying to achieve#maybe I just don't like cozy fantasy. man. there was a bit where a guy should've gotten eaten by a kelpie but didn't. so maybe too cozy#for my tastes actually. which is weird I feel like I should enjoy cozy fantasy! especially about animals!!! but maybe this was just a fluke#anyways. to be clear I am not trying to make fun of the MC for having anxiety. just the overall way her social awkwardness was WRITTEN abou#really bothered me. idk man I'm a neurotic freak as well but I try to be NICE about it. and I have the correct zoo opinions. so.
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queenmaker should be coming in the next few days, depending on whether i have bad hayfever or a cold today - this is supposed to be my holiday week, so i would expect that i am actually sick, but then also i've passed out for every hour i haven't been at work today so i'm both caught up and screwed up on sleep ready for my half days 😭😂
#i may also have just pushed it too far yesterday#but like idk i was just vibing and then the hayfever gutpunched me at midnight#i think i let my guard down about having a holiday and my body was like 'don't need to stop cold germs coming in!' happens every gd time#it's a reminder not to let it happen at christmas#anyway to those still reading today has been really weird#i'm totally fine at work the hayfever even went away#but at home? literally can't keep my eyes open#i wanted to play a game tonight and between 5 and 9 i've watched two hours of tiktoks and lain facedown on the couch like a coma patient#and eaten tin spaghetti and toast that i slightly burnt for dinner#because i left my pasta out last night and i thought i had food poisoning this morning so i convinced myself the pasta is evil#which doesn't logically make sense but that's anxiety for you lol#anyway i actually have woken back up again a bit while i'm sitting here so maybe there's something left in me
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there's definitely more examples of this but, you know, how summer/ sons and peaky blinders both begin in the immediate aftermath of a terrible event, a landmark - death in the family or war. but there's the growing sense that it is merely the most recent, most visible tragedy to occur. and so becomes the gateway to a broader history with pain and violence and transgression, foundational traumas that do inform the new and public one now.
#me is mark#couching everything in terms of france/the war + even among audiences pb is known as the wwi ptsd show#and it is about that but also about everything else#and similarly ss has a similar reputation for being the grief story#which it is ofc#but it's also about very very much about the cavern
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Roommate just started wordlessly angrily and repeatedly yelling in the hallway so I guess we have moved onto the “I feel physically unsafe” part of the roommate nightmare month
#I guess it could have been his friend but who knows#time to learn how to pee in bottles or something so I don’t have to go into the bathroom#the friend is staying until the end of the month on our couch however she is nice and says she’s going to help him pack#so she’s great in my book#my roommate said she was in psychosis which is why she was in the hospital for a few weeks#but like. in a danger to herself way which the vast majority of people in psychosis are#…I’m not going to lie you guys this sucks#I’m scared and I have so much cleaning up after him to do#and I have to do it all myself and I know it’s going to make my back hurt so much more#at least my door has a deadbolt#personal#oh also I bought a mattress bag for him and one for the couch. he didn’t thank me.
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