#which I haven't done before
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I am stressed :(
#IF YOU READ THESE TAGS DON'T SEND ME KOFI THINGS OR ANYTHING I JUST NEED TO VENT BEFORE I EXPLODE#(I do have stickers and stuff on redbubble tho)#my PC's bsods/crashes are worse (1 every week or so and sometimes 2 a day I've had 2 in the past 3 hours)#and I'm pretty sure the root issue is the RAM is bad#which means it has been this whole time because I no longer turn my PC off at the end of the day like I did before ~mid 2022#and I don't have $300 to buy new RAM#and idk if I can get a replacement 3 years after purchase#and even if I do I will have to open it up and pull the RAM out and have no PC for probably a few weeks#and having just my phone will absolutely fuck with me like it did when I first moved in this house#and I need 2 usb sticks to properly diagnose and possibly need to repair some corrupt windows files#which I haven't done before#And meanwhile my fucked up premolar is falling out of my jawbone and is loose and I keep bumping it and it doesn't hurt as much as it shoul#and I am near to an abscess at any given time because of it and I need to get more shots because I don't want to go#without updated vaccinations but also having a tooth removed and one or two more cavities filled is very expensive#and I don't have any income so I have $4.80 to my name#and I need to work from home because of anxiety and I can't do that while my PC is having issues#I got a bsod earlier and got in Minecraft to play a little and got a second BSOD after just 2 hours#they're RAM related (memory_management and faulty_hardware_corrupted_page#but I am worried about the side effects of this many#I can't find any suitable work anyway and I need a new photo ID and those are $50 and my weekly income from studies/surveys/etc is about#about that and I am already living on about $30 of food a week (frozen pizzas and party pies and stuff + liquid breakfasts so I get some#minerals and vitamins) and I would rather scrape by then sign up for social security because of the horrible draconian shit they put people#though just to keep a payment that is 1/4th minimum wage and not liveable in the slightest#(THE PIZZAS GIVE ME FAT PROTEIN CARBS FIBRE AND A LOT OF KJ they are efficient)#(I would love to cook)#(I budgeted out meal prepping and it came out to costing twice as much for the same food if I bought the cheapest ingredients)#( and also same amount of food I eat once a day (1/2 pizza or equiv ~300g/3000kj/700cal) and use chocolate to carry me through the middle)#(the chocolate also keeps me focused and my mood up)#every single BSOD massively spikes my anxiety and it locks me up and I just fret for a while and I am cautious about drawing because it#can happen at any time and I don't want to lose things I've worked hard on
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you think it's over????? daniel's vampire eyes are normally blue but they turn orange when he talks about his maker armand AND YOU THINK IT'S OVER????????????? we have never been so back. keep your chin up princess
#daniel molloy#armand#devil's minion#iwtv spoilers#iwtv#interview with the vampire#armandaniel#armandiel#my last yap i have to go revise but#this is unprecedented. this is a never done before thing and they did it With Them.#devil's minion is on my friends don't you worry your pretty little heads#copying my reply: what i keep going back to is that the shift happens exactly as he says “i'm guessing you haven't heard from my maker”#which is a very strong narrative device because it visually cements the knowledge that he is /armand's/ fledgling#the feeling it was meant to elicit in the viewers is very clear because of the timing of it all!!!!
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not to be that person but what do you mean butchered tongue is the least streamed song on unreal unearth. what do you mean people can listen to lines like "and as a young man blessed to pass so many road signs / and have my foreign ear made fresh again on each unlikely sound / but feel at home hearing a music that few still understand" and just. move on. sort that song into the skip file. what. what do you mean.
anyways butchered tongue is the best song, the most haunting song off unreal unearth.
y'all just don't fucking listen to lyrics anymore.
#it is my fav song and i went to listen to it on desktop#which ig i haven't done before#and i was shocked by the difference#actually tbh the least streamed songs off unreal unearth are my favs#which with hozier#isn't usually the case#usually i'm with the herd but#y'all are sleeping on butchered tongue de selby pt1 to someone from a warm climate#like seriously#hozier#unreal unearth
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Fig my beloved
Squeem
Npcs (Aelwyn)
Fabian
Gorgug
Kristen pt 2
Riz
Adaine
#One of them wouldn't upload but I don't know which one and it would make it uneven anyway#Fantasy High#Fig Faeth#FHSY#FHJY#Did y'all know that kippers and off brand mountain dew zero taste bad together?#Anyway Kristens next and then I might combine Gorgug and Fabian#Because I set myself a stupid expectation of these being like 20+ for each bad kid#And I don't think I have that for either of them#Especially since I'm trying to use ones that I haven't seen before#But I'm for sure gonna wait until Fabians new art comes out#I wish I had done that with Adaine but whatever
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incidentally if you don't see much of me for a bit: side order has reminded me that i do, in fact, DEEPLY enjoy splatoon 3, lol, and i am maybe a touch distracted by that,
#haven't QUITE beaten all the palettes yet#although i finally hit the critical mass of 'back in practice after like a whole year' and 'hacks' to win with weapons i'm bad at#so i may beat all of them soon...#ALSO. CANON GAY CEPHALPODS. YOU CANNOT ARGUE THEY AREN'T CANON LESBIANS AND IN LOVE.#THERE IS (genuinely) NO OTHER EXPLANATION.#MARINA GETS MAD AT ACHT FOR FLIRTING WITH PEARL IN FRONT OF HER. THEY NEED 'SPECIAL ALONE TIME'. MARINA WAS GONNA SAY SHE LOVED PEARL#ITS CANON BABY I'M SO HAPPY#anyway. love this game. the squids.#(also i guess they DO avoid having marina or pearl ever say OUTRIGHT 'i love you' or kiss which i GUESS means we might get into localizatio#-arguments i've done fandoms like this before but i don't CARE they are CANON LET'S GO.)#ALSO ACHT/DEADFISH CANON THEY/THEM#basically i love it.
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#galarian slowpoke#picture this. this was the first pokémon revealed from the new DLCs for pokémon sword and shield. the pokémon company#up until this point‚ has never done DLC for a pokémon game before. you‚ having been jaded by shitty DLCs for other games in the past#now have a distaste for the phrase‚ and imagine this can't be good. then‚ in their teaser for the new DLC‚ they add a little event#into the game where they reveal one of the new pokémon that is going to be added in the DLC#and it is a galarian form. that is identical to the original pokémon. but with a yellow head#are you imagining it. now how fucking disappointed are you. how little faith do you have in that DLC that it's going to be as good as it wa#for the most part‚ the pokémon company has demonstrated that they do absolutely excellent DLCs. proper expansions#basically an entire other game on top of the game you already have. and they typically take up the release cycle of a full game#scarlet/violet's especially. WONDERFUL dlc. i never really properly finished the crown tundra just because i was so late to the party#because i avoided buying the dlc for so long because of this experience that i've just described to you#that by the time i bought it and played it‚ it was just because SV had been announced and i wanted more pokémon to tide me over#and i never finished it. one of these days‚ i'd like to go back and finish it‚ but i'm playing through pokémon xd gale of darkness right no#and i prefer to play. one game at a time. and i don't know when i'll ever really get back to it#or if i'll ever get back to it! 'cause without resetting my save file all the way i'll just have to Remember what it is that already happen#which i'm. notoriously bad at when it comes to coming back to games that i haven't played in a while#plus i know sv is like shitty performance or whatever but the movement in that game is so much better#it feels so much more freeing than going back to gen 8 where you can still just. run. and that's it#i know nobody likes scarlet/violet but i still. like it. performance aside. like yes the performance is terrible but i still had a great#time with it. i just praised its DLC for fuck's sake! its DLC was fuckin wonderful! it has kieran in it so it like can't be bad
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fanart for This Is Not The End by @kings-highway
potentially my favourite fic ever!! <3
#my art#uh i am so sorry but i'm gonna tag you in a few more posts also because#i keep getting inspired to draw stuff by your writings#this took SO long but i finished it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! at last!!!!!!!!!!!!#those fence posts are my mortal enemies but at least they're done now#really glad i actually stuck with this#i started it three weeks ago!!#hm anyway i'm really really in love with this fic like seriously - if it was a published book i would buy it so so fast#everytime a new chapter drops i just go !!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then message my friend to yell about it <3#haikyuu#haikyuu fanart#haikyu!!#haikyu!! fanart#this is not the end#right so; in order:#azumane asahi#iwaizumi hajime#oikawa tooru#tsukishima kei#yamaguchi tadashi#kageyama tobio#hinata shoyo#sawamura daichi#sugawara koushi#kuroo tetsurou#takeda ittetsu#ukai keishin#ushijima wakatoshi#i put too many tags before and it deleted them nooooo i forgot what i said- oh! it was about starting this when only 3 chapters were out#and now there's so many characters which i haven't drawn here but i want to draw at some point so probably will okay loveyou bye <3
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ghost story premiere day! check @melliotwrites for more info
#*there's less than a day left* me: does this count as a prediction :33 sorry it's vague i just predict Vibes. stream sheep in wolf country#last several hours i can post this before it comes across as a Reading Comprehension Cringefail! due to the new update (premiere)#which is also to say i've rushed it in the last 24h after cc told me ''go for it''. i haven't digitally rendered like this since i was 15#in lieu of character designs falling into my lap from above i give you wolf & sheep & wolf & sheep. also House. also fire and water concept#brought to you by (1) general excitement i've been swept up in // (2) cc; who i messaged yesterday with a sketch on a half-wet receipt#and was an enabler of this nonsense // (3) copious usage of the procreate liquify tool and eyedropping colours from the pinterest boards#(4) '' rotatable 👍 '' from cc which means that the house in water isn't beset by reflections and vague. and this work is rotatable.#bonus points if you treat both sides as a spot the difference game.#tempted to print this out as like a6 merch. lowkey. // (4) me rendering last minute on the last possible day [art proj flashbacks] //#(5) ghost story art draft 1 i did like dec last year involving a shelf; incense sticks; peeling paint; spilled cup; the whole shebang -#if you look at the water house there's incense sticks in the window. yippee! had fun with that... it never made it out of sketch.#and then i lost the paper. alas. sorry i guess that was fated to never be. here's attempt 2.0 with months of hindsight#anyways let's talk really quick about song assocs! water imagery @idk you anymore // sheep in wolf country!! pretty obv. above#there's a house & there isn't a house. much House. idk how else to put it. // also that one timeline (not a song) saying <house burns down>#incense sticks mentioned in i breathe in you breathe out // the lighting for the field of grass comes from there's a house:#'where the grass looks like fire sick with anticipation'. also in the same song: pond mentioned 💥💥 body of water moment //#also also the house in this work is like. if you took the ghost story header & the ghost story programme houses and smushed them tgt#except i was lazy to render wood that clearly. and last note here is that the smoke was kinda insp from how clouds are done in chinese art.#ghost story musical
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brieuc's 1k celebration: 🤖 interest edit for @margarethcarter!
#usermaguire#userthona#usermattz#userscottie#tusergio#usermissy#userautism#marvelcolors#comicswomen#comicedit#marveledit#carol danvers#captain marvel#art by lucas werneck & megan huang & jen bartel#*mine#*my1k#hope this is okay raffa!!!#i haven't done carol before i don't think! this is all about her cool new outfit which i genuinely rlly like#the 2nd looks kinda blurry tho alas
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Life Update: I now finally have an apartment. Also I got tickets to see Nye next August!!! What a day.
#personal#plus i had to order hair today which is something i also haven't done before#700€................#enjoy these sketches i did to try out some brushes i bought
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ummm. my fic is done.
#I mean it still needs a bit of editing but like after almost four months#the hell (writing) is finally over#it's clocking in at around 61k words rn and im tired#time to relax ((cry))#actually you know what. fuck it I'm gonna overshare about this a bit.#I've never written fic before#and besides that - this is the first thing I've sat down to write seriously in about ten years#and ten years ago I was just writing poetry and papers for college#(I don't mean 'just' in a bad way - I only mean that it's been a very different experience for me personally)#very protective over this fic in that it's been sitting in my lap and in my brain for a few months and I don't want to give too much away#so I've deliberately been vague with the marketing of it. because I want people to read and be surprised and experience it firsthand.#and I know it's supposed to be self-indulgent and writing should be about the process and not the results but#I hope people read it??? I've poured my soul into this thing. a bit. a lot. and I'm a simple creature who craves validation.#it's very personal yet at the same time I feel like I haven't done anything new or groundbreaking which. okay it's self-doubt saturday so.#I should ignore that feeling. anyyyyyyyyway.#I hope to post the first chapter in two weeks. crossing my fingers that I don't abort mission before then aaaaaahahaha#also comparison is the thief of joy etc etc etc#danny.xls#danny writes
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Zelda
She/her, 65 moons, cis molly
#Zelda (cat)#<- so it doesn't go in the fandom tags of the game lmao#Loner#honeyclan#<- the save file she's from. I'm gonna say she lives nearest to them#warrior cats oc#warriors oc#kiri’s clangen#clangen#She also doesn't have the chest spot on her sprite but I thought she looked better with it so. Y'know#I made her fur so massive but I need it to be known that the rest of her is massive as well. She's jut very large#also I HAVE RETURNED TO THIS BLOG!!! Can't say how regular activity here will be but I'm queueing this on thursday to go up on friday#and I've got three more finished cats to go up the three days after that. We'll see how many more I draw before the queue runs out#I'm doing hermit-a-day-may over on my main blog and I'm coming up on the end of the schoolyear so I may be mostly swamped until summerish#but I'd like to pick back up with posting these during the summer. I have some ideas for a comic that I'd like to do but I haven't written-#-it out yet becuase I want to get these designs done first and I think I'm about halfway through all the cats I have? across 5 different-#-clans two of which are very large so. Mass extinction events will be on once I start playing moons again!!#anyways sorry for rambling but I'm very proud of my next few designs. I think I've found a good method for doing them quickly. It involves-#-using actual reference images for the poses lmao#EDIT I lied I'm not even close to halfway#I've got 66 out of 181 done meaning I have 115 left#jesus fucking christ ITS FINE it's fine it's just a lot. not a problem though#I can pick up the pace after this next month or two#it's chill
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Maladaptive daydreaming.
#daydreaming#maladaptive daydreaming#maladapting daydreaming disorder#maladaptive behaviors#maladaptive coping#dissociation#immersive daydreaming#dimond speaks#yeah so adding this to my list here lol#my therapist helped me realize i dissociate a LOT and the primary way i do it is through vivid daydreams#they usually happen at work but they also pop up if i'm having a bad day or... anytime really.#i've also come to the realization that i have at least one of these a day which is not good fgsjh#my therapist says they're not inherently bad especially since they do have a positive effect on my emotions (if its a good daydream)#but it's gotten to the point that it's affecting the way i work#and they can last for a LONG time too#i haven't timed them but i do know they've been over 30 minutes at work before#this is either due to ADHD autism PTSD or a mixture of the three lmao#weeeee#anyway. this post isn't really intended to be a vent post#it's more like a 'this is my experience' type post#it just kinda comes across as somewhat vent-y#but that was because i wanted to try and immerse the reader into what its like to have these daydreams#like mine look NOTHING like this but making it more generic would help others understand it#the void is the general dissociation from reality#then you emerge in the dream#i can feel things as if i'm there- the sun the wind and sometimes even physical touch#and i'll stay there until something snaps me out#strangely i can get my work done while i'm doing this- i just wont have any memory of doing so. it's like being on autopilot#anyway. I hope this post was helpful to someone out there#if you also maladaptive daydream YOU ARE NOT ALONE! it's valid and you're not 'faking' anything. it's a genuine trauma response.
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Writers tag game
Prompt: share some writing
Thanks for the tag, @miyamiwu!
So, I'll be honest, I don't actually have any WIPs I'm intending to do anything with, but I have some oldish abandoned stuff I managed to relocate. It's back from 2021 so in my Untamed era and this bit was specifically set during Fatal Journey*:
Nie Huaisang woke blearily, cold seeping into his clothes from the floor. It was dark and it took several seconds to remember where he was. He could hear the muffled sounds of clanging and voices. As he lifted his head off the ground, they slowly resolved themselves into the clash of swords and yelling. [...] He didn't know what to do. What would his brother do? Xichen-ge? San-ge? He had his flute with him– he could try Cleansing. This was what it was for, right? Before he could doubt himself further, he started playing, pouring all the qi he could muster into the tune. He'd practised for hours the night before, long after San-ge had left, but despite that, he hadn't truly thought then that he'd need to play so soon. Was that so naïve of him? As he watched, Da-ge began to slow in his movements and Nie Huaisang felt himself start to relax. He kept his lips to the flute, trying not to let his relief fool him into making mistakes. Still, he knew he only had to play a little longer and then they could all escape. Him, his brother, his cousin. They could flee far away from the darkness that haunted these halls. And then Nie Zonghui's head hit the floor. He stopped playing.
And then I had this other bit:
He'd messed up. He must have played a wrong note. Maybe he'd misremembered the entire thing? And now Nie Zonghui was dead and his brother - what looked like his brother - was stood, Baxia dripping blood to the floor. [...] The sword was pointed at him. He tried to hold himself steady as he looked down the blade. Tried to blink away the tears that kept escaping without his permission. He could tell he was failing, unable to stop the trembling, but he forced himself to meet the eyes at the other end of the sword. He couldn't die here. He refused to die here. After all, he was the only family his brother had left.
*(it was meant to be part of a short time travel fic where post-canon characters went back not long before NMJ died. It would've had flashbacks to Fatal Journey interspersed with the "present" up until the point at which future NHS tipped off past NHS about the poisoned music. I actually got as far as figuring out where I wanted all the characters to be at the end of it, but I ran out of motivation pretty quickly so there's only this WIP stuff and the intro part written in the end.)
Ahh not sure who to tag when it comes to writing stuff. I know @roseofcards90 and @floofiestboy write some stuff? And anyone else who sees this who writes, feel free to consider yourself tagged ^^
#I'll be honest. I don't think I'm going to ever post fully for any variation of this fandom because I'm not into it enough anymore#and honestly need to rewatch at some point but also (and this is the big thing) the fandom is just too big it lowkey intimidates me#so sticking to lc methinks which I have a couple of ideas for but haven't been able to actually put anything down#I really want to go into my take on cxs and ql's relationship because I've done something for ql and lg + lg and cxs now#but I kinda think my view on the whole thing isn't exactly the same as the main agreed view on the eng fandom side#like. ql said to ltx she considers cxs a sibling but as for if she'd say that to his face? as for if anyone else considers them siblings?#I think it's complicated (and I mean ql never got ostracised like cxs did) and also cxs's parents factor in to some extent#anyway! I'm tangenting. thanks again for the tag! this had me looking at my more recent stuff for comparison which was interesting#ask meme#miyamiwu#also argh I'm looking at this stuff again and it's like I can do the end lines for impact but the stuff before that is so messy#and also. I keep saddling every character I write with some form of anxiety which works for some characters but not all#I need to either figure out another approach or just write loid forger pov 'til the end of time :V
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Now is the time to place your bets on whether or not this hyper self-indulgent doctor superion Vampire the Masquerade AU fic will or won't get to 100 handwritten pages...
#i'm at page 65. there are about four or five scenes to go before the end.#THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THIS LONG#especially considering how i stopped work on another longer doctor superion fic to do this#i guess we're in for a strange period of longer jillian and suzanne AUs from me. it even feels weird to say that#i know that 20-30k words isn't exactly long for many people's standards but it is to me. i've written longer original work but not fic#anyway. i get all nervous because i want to share the damn thing and can't so here's a useless post about it#just don't hold your breath because i write these longer stories with a sort of powered by the apocalypse mindset#so instead of play to find out it's write to find out#meaning the first manuscript is a flaming pile of shit which will likely be fully rewritten later. AND THEN typed up.#the novel i wrote a few years ago needed to be rewritten. the first five pages were DOUBLED in the revision i never finished lol#that's to give you an idea#so. yeah. the only thing i'll be posting for the time being is drabbles. maybe some meta in between as i haven't done that in a while#silly blabbering
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You offended them
#lol just doodling things before bed#which I felt like I haven't done in forever#stupid posts#my dumb doodles#btw this is terrible but why not share it anyway lol
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