#whether that would help their crisis or not ill leave up to your imagination <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[lavenoon]

Last line challenge!

Rules: in a new post, show the last line you wrote/drew and tag as many people as there were words (or however many you want to tag).

I've been tagged by @clxckwork-sun-n-moon @naffeclipse and @eyndr-stories, so y'all are getting a juicy little bit as a treat~

We return to our roots and Robin is having a crisis :3c

Definitely not tagging this many people - I'm so late to this, I have lost track of who's been tagged or not. So! to still invite people, I'll make up a different participation rule!

If you can see something purple (any shade) when you look up from your screen (and also have a line you would like to share), I'm officially tagging you! (Tell me what you saw in your post!)

[okay-victoria]

Random Personal Rant

For anyone somehow here not from the original thread, this started off me getting asked what finishing school is and me getting shit off my chest that is only mildly relevant about how I could both be of the social class that gets sent to finishing school and grows up on welfare.

With an understanding that in many parts of the world it wouldn't qualify as so, as far as the US goes, my dad is from what counts as a very old money family from Baltimore & Philadelphia. Both his siblings went to college and one now owns a major hedge fund, and his sister is married to a C-level executive at a huge conglomerate. His parents went to college. His grandparents went to college. All eight of his great grandparents went to college. My dad...did not go to college. He was not about that life, and while I don't mean it as an insult, when I say his primary occupation until I was ~5 was a drummer in a mediocre band I mean that he opened for a lot of great acts, and if you lived in the Boston to Atlanta area in the 80s you may have heard him play, but he was never a huge national name. But he wasn't an amateur band playing for free at some random local gig either.

My mom grew up on a chicken farm in a Mennonite family in Pennsylvania but also completely rejected her heritage and became a model, sort of like my father, of mediocre status. Not Giselle Bundchen, but had national contracts and if you have a Graco ad/box from 1990-1993 you might see both me and her on it. They met because my mom's friends placed bets, one each, on who could sleep with a member of their favorite local band first and my mom picked my dad and...my mom was actually supposed to go be a model in Tokyo and found out she was pregnant with me and couldn't go 😂

So, after my parents had two kids back to back with a third on the way and determined they needed lifestyles more in line with having three children, they became much poorer than they originally were because my mom stopped working and my dad, with a barely-passed-high-school education but needing a true "day job" worked day labor in construction. My dad's father was too proud to give us money/help if my dad didn't beg for it; despite having eventually four young children my dad never did so we ended up on all the state assistance programs one could imagine. My grandma jokes that dinners at my parents house were BYOC - bring your own chair, because we didn't own any.

My mother and paternal grandmother had no such pride issues and I live in eternal gratitude that my welfare childhood was not as crappy as it should have been because my grandmother would have my mom accompany her on grocery runs and buy us food without my father or grandfather knowing, and every Christmas and birthday my grandparents/godparents could give us the one big ticket gift all the kids wanted that year. But, on the other side, I once got stung by a bee inside my mouth because my brother threw a hairbrush through a cracked window at me and broke it and we couldn't afford to fix it for about two years and a hornet got in one day and rested himself in my coke can (my parents were the very American type that fed me coca-cola in baby bottles at age 8 when I was jealous of my younger siblings lol).

It is hard not to believe in "toxic masculinity" when two men warring over dumbass pride issues would rather their children/grandchildren go without food than suck it up and decide 'help' isn't the worst word in the English language, and you know you've only been saved by two women who came from totally different backgrounds and entirely disapproved of each other but reached out the hand to shake when it came down to toddlers getting the short end of the don't-bend-the-knee stick. It wasn't that either of the men were bad people, I loved them both and got along great with both, but on a societal level I feel they were socialized in a very fucked up way if that was the end result, as both claimed "male pride" in these instances [my dad took multiple thousands of dollars I'd saved from working during college from me during the 2008-2010 financial crisis and didn't tell me and that was the reason I was given for why I hadn't been informed/asked, because it would be too emotionally difficult for an adult man to ask a young woman. My graduation present was them repaying me 1/3 of the money they'd taken from me without asking because I'd like, trusted them when it had been in a joint account that was a holdover from when I was <18 and couldn't have my own bank account].

While in some ways my parents on the surface achieved the American dream of going from nothing to a bunch of money, the real factor in play was that my dad's father was the bank. My parents had no credit and couldn't get real loans. My dad worked construction and during the two major periods that flipping houses was very lucrative, he never had to get an actual loan or pay actual interest, he just had to ask his father to pay out cash and then repay him at a flat 2% interest rate that didn't even accrue over time, just...whenever you are ready, repay the value of the loan + 2%. Because my father was doing something productive, in these instances, my grandfather was happy to pay, because it wasn't giving away money, it was loaning it. I had a very weird situation of mostly being poor but like also getting taken to the "big donors" events at the Kennedy Center and my grandparents regularly buying me a dress as a child worth more than my mom's wedding dress and also needing to pretend I fit in with these people.

And look. When I say "these people"...honestly, by and large, most wealthy people, whether inherited or not, are not the assholes you want to imagine. Most of them are extremely nice. Most of them are generous when it comes to the less fortunate who are in their personal sphere of being. Most of them are just really out of touch. The 100% kindest of all of them that I know once relayed to me that she thought people would be happier if once a year they did what she did...go to the airport with a purse packed full of absolute necessities, buy a one way ticket to the most appealing destination on the flight board, buy your clothes and book your accommodations after you'd arrived, and come back after you felt you'd 'centered' yourself. She didn't understand why there were so many unhappy people who weren't taking this very obvious route to being happier. I didn't quite know how to explain that saying "most" people couldn't afford to do that either financially or from a job/career angle didn't even cover it, as "most" sounds like 70% instead of 99.7%.

I was both my parents eldest son and eldest daughter in the worst combination possible. I was the eldest son because I was the most stereotypically male of all my siblings, in everything from desire to physically fight the battles I was given to dislike of shopping/fashion to lack of emotional connection to my relationships, so I can now fix your average household plumbing/drywall/electrical issue better than most "city" guys I interact with and remain less clingy to them in the process. I was also very much the oldest daughter from a responsibility perspective, I managed our household and from age 10 - 24 managed the finances of our family business, my mom almost died giving birth to my youngest brother after a ruptured uterus that should never have happened in the first place if we had adequate insurance to get her a non-emergency C-section (I was just past 9 years old at the time) and I was informally withdrawn from school for two years to take care of the family when she couldn't because there is no paid parental leave in the US and we got double-fucked by the medical industry because she got a bad "mesh" put in and then had to have a further surgery to repair that which we also had to pay for and didn't have the money to win a lawsuit over.

I don't know quite how to put this, but in the deepest fuck you of the universe, my rich-immigrant-ggggg grandfather's money led to him owning banks, insurance companies, etc, and the family cashed out in a big way when their ownership was bought by and merged with what is now Cigna, one of the biggest US healthcare insurers, and my nuclear family specifically got screwed by the American health insurance industry, but anyway, we were the people selected for that karmic comeuppance so if you want to feel schadenfreude at my expense, I'll allow it without begrudging the sentiment, my family might have fucked up your family’s life too, not just their own.

I got up twice a night to feed my brother because my dad had to sleep unmolested in my room to get to work and my mom was too weak to carry my brother or even hold him against her while she nursed so I had to hold him up to her. Adjusting to living in a city and hearing lots of random noises all the time was not easy when I'd had mom sound instincts from age 9.

I learned to drive the fall my youngest bro was born because my mom couldn't and I had to get my middle brother to preschool and go the grocery store on my own. While I hold absolutely no ill will towards my father or grandfather for this and given that about 1/3 of my paternal family either has an autism diagnosis or should, I fully feel the struggles they both went through to be communicated with, my father wouldn't ask for help, and my grandmother that lived 20 minutes away couldn't give enough help because my grandfather refused to do a single dish on his own as that was outside their "marriage contract" type agreement and she couldn't ever stay with us overnight when there wasn't a clearly-communicated need, so they let the burden fall on a 9 - 11 year old child and that really shaped a lot of my life in both good and bad ways. My youngest brother is 22, and we have only just climbed out of the medical debt his birth left us with between my dad's life insurance and my oldest brother and I paying for the extra cost of out-of-state college tuition.

The irony of all of this is that because my father died before his father, when my grandmother dies, my siblings and I will all inherit enough money (as a non-blood relative my mom, despite keeping her vows to part at death and not having remarried in eight years, is cut out entirely) to make this a non-issue, but my grandfather couldn't conscience spotting his unluckiest child some money in the end of days to pay for my youngest two brothers' education and take that worry off my father as he was dying. The day before he died I had to hold him down in bed to keep him from trying to climb in his truck to go to work because he was so anxious about trying to provide for us in spite of his father having fuck you money, because his father didn't think it was fair to the other siblings (who, at the time, still owned a major hedge fund and were married to a C-level executive of a huge conglomerate). A day and a half later I went back to my job because at the time I was then the sole provider for the family and didn't want to risk asking for the standard week's bereavement leave when I knew I was capable of showing up at work the next day and was fresh out of college so hadn't built up a reputation yet.

My father worked the day each of us was born, so I suppose it is only fair and he smiled at the choice. In spite of what it may seem, I gave a baller and very heartfelt speech at his funeral to all his rich friends that over and above everything, he'd taught us how to be happy with our own lives no matter what, and multiple of them emailed my mom in the aftermath to say they'd reassessed their relationship with their children in light of it, although...tbh I kind of doubt that lasted and they probably changed nothing 😅. The last good talk I had with him, two weeks before he died [his liver was going and it sent toxins to his brain that de-personed him after that and he no longer recognized me as his daughter, but as his sister], I reassured him that though we would all be sad he'd gone, we'd live on just fine without him because that's how he'd raised us, and according to my mom that was what gave him the final bit of peace he needed. Although honestly, I don't think I will ever see the strength in another human again that it took my grandmother to sit next to him and stroke his hand and tell him to close his eyes and imagine he was happy on a beach and die, for God's sake, because he was unaware and in pain and just prolonging it for our sake by then.

That type of obsession my grandfather had with assessing his children and grandchildren on the basis of economic productivity and a very black and white idea of "fair" is one you don't easily forget, I promise you. My hedge fund uncle is currently positioning himself to screw us out of our inheritance because of janky writing in the will and I'm doing my fuck all best to gain the wherewithal to go toe-to-toe with this cold motherfucker in court as the oldest and representative member of my happily much nicer and softer younger brothers who I want to remain that way not because I even care that much about the money, I know what bills affect your credit first and what you can put off paying and all of us have good enough career prospects to do our own thing, but just because I want to give the middle finger to a man that was a multi-millionaire and drew lines on his milk and orange juice bottles when I came over so he knew if I drank what my parents couldn't afford when I was approximately six. Anyway, ask me why I support major reforms in wealth taxation. I don't care who it goes to, just not that guy, you feel?

Having expendable income was very exciting for a bit after I started working but once I got to the hateable point of assessing my annual bonus and internally complaining that I'd spent the money I should have spent on a Sauternes cellar to drop five digits on bedset materials (to be fair they are drop dead gorgeous, very comfy and the factory pays a living wage for people to handmake the sheets/duvets/pillows to people in San Francisco, which is not cheap, so maybe I did more good than harm with that), I two seconds later nodded to myself and went "the government needs to confiscate more money from me". The narrative is always that the "undeserving" will use it for dumb things they don't need like iPhones or refrigerators...?...but like...I could also have gone to Bed Bath and Beyond and bought a very nice sheet/comforter set for at most a tenth of what I paid so am I really spending it responsibly either....?....who is going to get more joy out of this misspent money....?....not me, that is for sure, I probably would have had more fun going to BBB and laying on all the demo beds and buying something there.

My lifelong dream, which may become possible if/when I do have something of an inheritance, is to provide food security for one of the many towns in the US were most residents don't have it. It's the thing I remember the most distinctly over the years. I never could quite believe it when I got to the point that I could just...pay to eat at a restaurant. One of the most disappointed my mother has ever been in me is when I was twenty five and confessed I actually had no idea how much a gallon of milk cost in a city grocery store besides that it was probably between $1 and $5, because I didn't have to know. For now I make a weekly drop off of my excess produce to a mom group I met under somewhat weird circumstances but I was walking through the cut-through that went through the low-income housing back to my apartment at like 2 AM on a Saturday and these moms were out there partying and smoking weed with their kids all strapped in strollers around or the older ones watched by a rotating member of the group and I felt very safe and like these moms had a very good vibe of both living their own lives [seriously for mental health parents but in most cases specifically mothers need to be able to keep up relationships with people their age] but keeping their children safe and accounted for while doing so and trying their fuckin' best against all the odds to figure out how to make that happen when life had dealt them a shit hand.

...anyway, looping way back to the original question of what finishing school is, when I was almost done with middle school my dad had built a legit construction business that then very quickly took off because we lived in a commutable zip code to the now-rich-in-their-own-right people he went to high school with who trusted him to redo their homes. We eventually moved to that zip code but I stayed and commuted back to my old high school. But, i was a pretty wild kid which my father appreciated for a long while because I would follow him around on jobs and enjoy doing physical labor, but once I was mid-puberty and also he had to maybe show me to his high school friends that did not fly.

I snapped - not broke, snapped - my left thumb and my parents had to trap me like a wild animal to get me to go the hospital. Then I got a deep cut that partially injured a tendon in my leg and at eleven I tried to beat the shit out of my dad to prevent him from picking me up to strap me in the car and go to the hopsital. Next I got a deep splinter due to my eternal-barefoot tendencies and it wouldn't come out so got infected and I refused to go to the doctor [another weird back story but I was minorly sexually assaulted [[to be clear, not raped or anything big traumatic]] when I was eight and had to stay in hospital for a week and my parents couldn't be with me all the time so I have a permanent heebie-jeebie about going to the hospital, not true anxiety, I will go if I know I need to and I don't breathe heavy or anything, and I'm actually not permanently weirded out by sex or anything, just doctors in hospitals specifically I kind of unconsciously try to justify not needing to the extent I can rationalize it] and my dad was tired of my antics so he was like "fine if you don't go I will slice your foot in half with a Swiss Army knife to get it out" and I called his bluff and laid down on the floor, stuck my foot on his lap, and he didn't really know what to do when a barely fourteen year old girl called his bluff so my brothers watched in fascinated but horrified awe as I got my foot sliced open spectacularly so that the infection/splinter could come out and I didn't even make a sound out of spite despite it being quite painful to my recollection almost twenty years later.

They saw me cry from pain exactly one time when while trying to break up a fight between all three of them (it was over ice cream) I got pushed and my ankle got dislocated and what actually made me cry was snapping it back in place and they realized it was not a joke. These dumb assholes that I love have ragged on me for "skipping" chores the day after I was in the hospital because the day before that I had to spend 18 hours running Thanksgiving as a good sub-hostess like I didn't have a serious infection that needed treating and couldn't rest because none of them were up to any task beyond peeling potatoes.

After the Swiss Army knife incident, my dad's discussion of sending me to finishing school became real, which I knew when my mom made me take a walk with her and talked about it. Finishing school is like...etiquette school....? In ye olden day when finishing high school was not the norm for anyone, wealthy men finished high school and wealthy women often went to "finishing" school to have a combined education on being a proper lady but also being able to hold a decent conversation with your presumably-educated husband, so it wasn't entirely etiquette non-academic. It was more just like "what a rich man wants in a wife" school, which was sort of household management and knowing enough about cleaning/cooking to correct the staff if they fucked up, how to be a polite hostess, and how to not entirely bore him when you were alone together and had done your five minutes of sex or whatever so actually had to have a conversation. In modern times it has obviously expanded to be less bleak.

I said miss me with that, I can be a girl on my own, so I went full throttle into the girliest sport they offer in high school and ever since have gained the inestimable advantage of knowing how to also use femininity to my advantage, which I am very grateful to my parents for making me learn. It would be great if we lived in a world where that didn't count, but it did/still does, and they really set me up to operate in all the worlds.

It is weird for me to tell the story to Internet strangers because it's one of those things that makes your parents sound terrible and abusive in the general tone of the Internet nowadays, and while I support gender nonconforming children I don't remember my childhood or parents that way. But, I feel like the bits and pieces of my life I've given don't always make a ton of sense together without the context, so here it is, and in the end, I think a number of parts of it are areas where you can probably understand where it makes me have the opinions I do when I write.

Anyhoo, this makes my life sound far worse than it is, I actually have a great life and I am not unhappy with it at all and feel I was on the whole blessed with many more turns of luck than unluck, so, please, do not take this as a depressed artist rant, it is more like a rant of a very energetic person who rants about a lot of things all the time and didn’t need to come out but just did because the question was asked and the time was right with my life being in a bit of flux to think about how I got where I am and where I want to go and why.

Always remember no matter what problems it seems like I have, if I didn’t solve them on my 2 year round the world traveling hiatus I took from working, it’s my own fault, I definitely had the time and money to solve them and just chose not to.

[oswildin]

Wanderer {Dhawan!Doctor x F!Reader}

~ I know it’s been so long... I’m so sorry! I’ve just been so caught up in life and situations going on in the world. I will try and do some requests since I have some motivation, but I think I’m going to be writing when I want rather than when I need to if that makes sense... I hope you are all staying safe and well during this madness in the world. Please donate to any BLM organisations if you can and raise awareness. ~

Summary: The Doctor’s just regenerated... Into a face he knows too well...

The Doctor stumbled, falling about the TARDIS, regaining his energy as he clutched onto the console. Gasping he realised his ship was once again...

“Crashing!”

He exclaimed, yelping slightly at sparks that flew in his direction from the panels.

“Why does this happen every time!?” He questioned aloud, not taking any notice of the fact there was in fact no one with him. “Why can’t you just land when I’m in a crisis?! Why is it always crashing?! What is with the crashing!” He ranted, trying to grasp a nearby lever, as he finally managed to pull it down. He could feel the regeneration energy flowing through his veins as he was thrown back, landing roughly on the hard floor. He hissed as his ship finally settled, humming.

“Thanks for that dear.” He mumbled, groaning as he stayed still for a moment.

You were walking home from work, exhausted from the long day you’d had. You sighed to yourself as you neared your estate, checking your phone briefly to check the time. 7:14pm. Looks like takeout was on the menu.

As you neared your building, you noticed a fog of smoke coming from nearby. You immediately leaped into action, noting it was right next to your home. You really couldn’t be dealing with your home going up in flames. You rounded the corner, finally seeing where the smoke was coming from, coughing as you saw what appeared to be a blue phone box, the door slightly ajar as the smoke was pouring out. You immediately rushed into your apartment building, grabbing a fire extinguisher as you ran back outside, heading towards the box that was lit up by a street light.

You tried to cover your mouth as best you could as you approached, kicking the door open wider as you quickly let off the extinguisher, hoping you were getting the blaze.

The Doctor furrowed his brows as he woke from his slumber. He coughed as he noted the room was covered in smoke.

“Extractor fans on!” He exclaimed, jumping up as he pressed a button on the console, as a breeze rushed through the room, clearing the smoke from within. He wafted his hand through the air as he decided it was best to let the TARDIS clear fully before attempting to do anything. He headed towards the doors, but before he could reach for them, the door flew open, and he was greeted with white foam, covering his clothing as he spluttered.

“Oi!”

You jumped back, dropping the extinguisher in surprise at the voice. Eventually a face appeared as you furrowed your brows.

“Do you mind?!” The person asked, looking down at his clothing, unimpressed.

“What do you mean do I mind?! There was smoke!” You cried. “Never mind that what the hell were you doing in there?!”

“This is my ship!” The man exclaimed, disgruntled as he stepped out, waving the smoke away as he closed the door behind him. “And I know there was smoke! Suppose it was my fault really. Wasn’t really looking where I was crashing.” You raised a brow, confused by the mans words.

“Mate, this is a police box.” You folded your arms. “Never seen it before either. Dunno why the police are bothering with this thing. We’ve all got mobiles now. Bit outdated really.” The man suddenly looked offended, before turning to the box.

“Don’t listen to her.” He muttered quietly as you blinked at him. “Where am I?” He asked, turning back to you.

“Er, London... Heavy evening was it?” You laughed, wondering if the man was intoxicated.

“Something like that.” He shrugged.

“Look, sorry about your clothes.” You gestured to his white covered outfit. “Do you live nearby?”

“Not really.” He muttered. “Don’t really live anywhere actually. Bit of a wanderer.”

“Is that a hipster way of saying homeless?” You raised a brow, a small smile on your lips. He seemed to think about it for a moment, as you noted something was obviously on his mind. “Right. I’ve got some spare clothes at mine. Considering I ruined yours, I may as well give you something clean to wander in.”

You unlocked the door to your flat, letting yourself in with the stranger following behind. He seemed harmless. It probably wasn’t the brightest idea you’d had but you felt bad. Plus the big brown eyes he was giving you didn’t help.

“Wait here whilst I go grab the clothes.” You told him as he nodded, watching you leave him as you went into another room. He pursed his lips as he turned to see a mirror on the wall in the hallway. He stepped up to it, finally able to see his new appearance. He looked surprised and confused.

“What?” He muttered, putting his hands up to his face, pushing his cheeks about. “Why would I choose this face?” He furrowed his brows, eyes scanning the face that was staring back at him. “Or did he steal my face.... That sounds like something he would do...”

You cleared your throat, seeing the man staring at himself in the mirror, mumbling away. You couldn’t make sense of a word he was saying. He was quite strange. He definitely the ‘strange’ in ‘stranger’.

“If you’re done admiring yourself...” You held out the clothes in your hands as he cleared his own throat awkwardly, before bounding towards you. He stared down at them, before taking off his now ill-fitted grey jacket, throwing it on the floor as you watched irritated that he had just disregarded his dirty clothes on your clean hallway floor. He reached for his shirt, going to take it off as you stopped him.

“Woah, woah, woah!” You exclaimed, laughing lightly. “Please don’t undress in front of me.” You pleaded, pushing the clothes into his hands and shoving him into your bedroom to change, closing the door behind you. You let out a breath as you shook your head at the mans antics.

A few minutes later the man reappeared, wearing the clothes you gave him. You wolf whistled jokingly as he looked confused. You rolled your eyes before offering him some water.

“So, what’s your name wanderer?” You asked, peering at him as you handed him the glass.

“The Doctor.” He told you. “I think. Although with this face I’m not too sure.” He paused. “Getting mixed signals.” He frowned as you nodded slowly.

“Okay... Funny name. Wandered so much you don’t even have a name?” You teased, as he watched you closely. “I’m (Y/N).” You told him.

“Why do you have men’s clothes?” He asked, as you laughed.

“My exes.” You told him. “Left some here. I’m not gonna use them so you can have them if you want.” You shrugged, taking a sip of water.

“Do you often let strange men into your home?” He asked bluntly as you nearly choked on your drink. You gave him an insulted glare.

“What are you insinuating?” You asked defensively. He immediately looked taken back by your harsh tone. “Do I seem like the type to just let random blokes into my home?” He gawped awkwardly, trying to find the right words in his brain.

“I-I just meant-“ He sighed, shaking his head. “Look social activities aren’t really my area of expertise.” He admitted.

“Neither are they mine!” You exclaimed, as he seemed to mentally facepalm at his choice of words.

“That’s not what I meant either!” He sighed. “I just meant I’m socially awkward.” He commented. “I mean at least I think I am.”

“I’d say so yeah.” You laughed lightly. There was a moment of silence between you two. “So... A wanderer huh?”

The strange man, the Doctor, told you of his adventures. You obviously didn’t believe him. He didn’t quite seem right... You just nodded and smiled awkwardly as he spoke. But little did you know, your beliefs were all about to change...

That was 3 months ago. The man who called himself ‘The Doctor’ stumbled into your life. You got caught up in his wanders. It was a life you could’ve never even imagine. It was wonderful, scary, exciting, dangerous and most of all... Amazing. He was amazing. You would often chuckled to yourself at how you thought he was insane at first. But now you knew his life, and that it was all real... He was rather sane considering his lifestyle.

“When you were in my flat... The first time we met...”

You began, grabbing the aliens attention as he peered up from the console.

“You were rambling about your face...” You raised a brow. “About how it isn’t your face?” His eyes darkened for a moment before he forced a smile.

“My people, we have this trick... To cheat death.” He began. “We change our bodies... Our faces to survive. We call it regeneration.” You nodded, listening to him.

“But you said about someone else... And how he may have stolen your face?” You pressed, curious. He sighed, before leaning on the console, facing you.

“I had an old friend. Well, I say friend loosely.” He sounded bitter. “He was like me.” He looked down at you. “He could change his face... And this face you see now... Was his.” He admitted.

“And... now it’s yours?” You asked, confused slightly.

“Not literally. I mean looks wise. And I don’t know whether I chose this face for a specific reason, or whether he stole it from me... Whether he chose it because he knew it was mine.” He rambled as you listened intently. “Lets just say he wasn’t the nicest of people.” You smiled slightly at him.

“Well, whatever the answer is...” You paused. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out. And either way, you’re still the Doctor.” You smiled. “Maybe it’s to remind you to never become like him...” You suggested. “I know you lost people very close to you. And maybe it’s there to remind you to be the best you can be, rather than giving into the grief and rage.” The Doctor stared at you, his lips twitching into a small smile.

“Oh (Y/N).” He sighed. “Always so insightful.” He complimented as you smirked.

“Oh you know, I’m wiser than I look.” You teased.

The Doctor stood over the creature, anger racing through his veins. He was shaking from rage. You’d never seen him like this. He was... Terrifying. You felt your heart rate increase at the thunderous look in his eyes...

“You were going to kill every single living thing on this planet!” He hissed. “Burn it all down to the ground! And for what? Hmm?” He raised a brow. “Profit!?” You swallowed the lump in your throat as you looked at the creature, it was cowering in fear from the man before him.

“Doctor...” You called, trying to get his attention. You could see his shoulders moving up and down with his heavy breathing. “Doctor, please can we go?” You asked, voice wavering. He seemed to relax slightly at your voice, as he blinked, looking down at the creature. “Remember what you told me... Back in the TARDIS a little while ago now... How you thought you chose this face for a reason?” You tried, as you noticed he had relaxed further, stepping back from over the creature. “To be better than him. To never be like him.” You slowly stepped towards him. “And right now... I don’t see the Doctor.” You admitted, tears in your eyes as he slowly turned to look at you.

The thunderous stare had gone, left only were those big brown eyes you recognised. You gave him a watery smile as held out your hand.

“Let’s go. He’s learnt his lesson.” You glanced at the creature who was shuffling away from the pair. The Doctor tightened his jaw as he accepted your hand, leading the way back to his ship as he left the creature behind.

You entered the control room, seeing the Doctor sat on the steps, staring at nothing as you bit your lip. You cautiously approached him, perching yourself beside him as he didn’t turn to look at you.

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly. “I never wanted you to see me like that.” Your heart ached for him as you reached out, placing your hand on his own.

“We all have bad days.” You said gently. “Hell I have a lot of them. We all make mistakes, Doctor... It’s how we overcome them.” You told him sincerely. “You could’ve gone further... But you didn’t.” You squeezed his hand. “And that’s the kind of man you are.” He peered down before turning to look at you. “You’ve done more good than bad in this universe, and for me that’s enough to determine who you are and what you stand for.” He gave you a small smile.

“Oh, what would I do without you?” He joked, as you pursed your lips.

“Hmmm... Flail around the universe, lost and very bored.” You laughed, as he smiled wider. “That old friend of yours....” You paused. “What happened?”

And so he told you of his history with the Master. You could understand his complex of having the mans face. You’d probably feel the same if you suddenly had your greatest enemies face.

“I’m sorry.” You told him. “For everything.”

“What are you apologising for?” He furrowed his brows.

“For what the universe has handed to you over the years.” You shrugged. “I dunno... Just... Everything.” You sighed. “But it all happens for a reason. Even if you don’t believe in all that, it really does. Everything happens to teach us a lesson in life.” He nodded at your words.

“It’s getting late, you should probably head to bed.” He told you, giving you a small smile.

“You sure you don’t want the company?” You asked. He shook his head.

“Na. I’m fine. I’m always ok. King of ok.” He smiled as you returned it.

“Okay! If you want me to leave you alone I will!” You teased.

“Thank you.” He said sincerely. “I’m glad I met you.” He smiled, a smile that made your heart stop for a second.

“As you should be.” You smirked, as you leant over and gave him a kiss on the cheek before getting up and heading to bed.

“I am.” He muttered to himself as you left, smiling as he watched you leave. “I really am.”

[chibimyumi]

Kinda personal question but what makes Elisabeth special to you? (Trigger warning) And in your opinion, does it romanticise things like mental illness and suicide? I think that ‘Die Schatten werden länger’ is a pretty apt metaphor for how it feels to have depression and suicidal thoughts (depending on one’s interpretation of what Death is) or to be emotionally abused. I ask about the productions with Furuka Yuta as Rudolf and the recent one with him as Death.

Dear Anon,

‘Elisabeth’ is my ultimate gateway down the rabbit hole of theatre and story-telling. Before ‘Elisabeth’ I was mostly a passive consumer of media, but after, I started to consider mechanisms of story-telling, and saw how different performers can tell different stories using the same script. This taught me how actions (dictated by the script) are just that - actions; and before we can understand a character, we must delve into what the context is of those actions.

Of course, the music is also just phenomenal, and it IS a musical, after all.

TL;DR: But importantly, I love ‘Elisabeth’ because it’s literally written to be a “F*ck you, Hollywood.”

In this post I discussed how ‘Elisabeth das Musical’ managed to save crumbling European cinematic culture. I am very tired of the Hollywood conventions, and ESPECIALLY tired of the glorification of romance. ‘Elisabeth’ subverted both of these stale conventions for me, and I was able to enjoy an alternative to the popular tropes of: “the superhuman lover, the caged bird, lonely at the top” in a new context.

This post will be divided into the following chapters:

1. Elisabeth

1.1. Deconstructing romance

1.2. Wife- and Motherhood

1.3. No pedagogical message in yer face!

2. Rudolf

2.1. Deconstructing romance

2.2. Depression in children

2.3. Crushing expectations and grandness

2.4. Deconstructing masculinity

3. Der Tod

3.1. Villain?

3.2. Predatory lover?

4. Conclusion

Trigger Warning: The text below contains mention of depression and suicide.

Romanticising mental illness?

‘Elisabeth’ is admittedly a bit of a problematic fave to me; it does indeed romanticise mental illness. However! Contrary to mainstream conventions, ‘Elisabeth’s does not show that mental illness can be cured because of THE POWER OF LOVE! It unapologetically showcases the destructiveness of mental illness, and how it is a long and painful struggle without promise of success. And that is exactly what a mental illness can be.

1. Elisabeth

1.1. Deconstructing romance

Elisabeth herself is the clearest example. She was a happy-go-lucky girl who was not destined to become Empress (her sister was), and yet she was chosen as bride by the handsome and young Emperor, Franz I, against his mother’s will. It is the dream many girls are taught to have.

And yet, it was exactly after becoming part of a fairy tale that her life sank into hell. Not just because of Sophie, but also because of her husband. Her husband did not turn out to be ‘a bad guy’ like Hollywood will make you believe is the only reason a relationship will fail. No, Franz was just entirely ignorant towards anything Elisabeth needed. Franz’ failure as lover was not what he ‘did’, but rather, what he ‘did not’. I think it is very important to show how real relationships require compatibility AND hard-work, but that without both, it just won’t work.

1.2. Wife- and motherhood

In conventional media, a woman like Elisabeth’s journey would be to find ‘the love she deserves’, she would still be ‘someone’s romantic interest’, just not Franz’. But in the musical, her arc is preserving and exercising her autonomy, and make the best out of a terrible situation. Women are trapped in patriarchy, and usually there is just no escape. And therefore seeing the strength of a woman who makes the best out of her pain is inspiring, and more relatable.

Usually in media, if the woman is not ‘the wife’, then the way she is strong is her focus on being ‘the mother’. Elisabeth however, was shown to be a terrible mother! She was not callous, she was very loving in fact. But because she had so much going on, she simply did not have extra mental energy to spend on her son. I find it very refreshing that love is simply not enough to make human-relations work, whether it’s romantic or familial relationships. Saying that somebody fails in a relationship ‘because you don’t love x enough’ is shortsighted and backwards.

It is breathtaking for me to see a narrative that solely focused on a woman’s struggles without the romance, and without the shackles of motherhood. No, she was struggling because she could not be a person.

1.3. No pedagogical message in yer face!

I also absolutely love how Elisabeth is not an idol that we are supposed to learn from. It’s not: “women! Look at this woman and [be/don’t be] this woman!!”. No, ‘Elisabeth’ leaves its viewer alone, and does not try to impose onto any ‘how to be a woman’.

We are simply supposed to see her life, and sympathise with her as human. The story never justifies her shortcomings, and never glorifies her as the fairy tale Empress ‘die Junge Kaiserin’ would have you believe.

‘Elisabeth das Musical’ does not treat its audience as people that must be educated; instead it assumes the audience has a mind of its own, and can participate in the story as Elisabeth’s peer.

2. Rudolf

2.1. Deconstructing romance

Rudolf’s arc is likewise one wherein his mental illness is not ‘magically cured by romance’. The historic Rudolf was married and he was VERY unhappy in his marriage. However, his unhappy marriage was not the cause of his depression, nor did it really matter that much in making it worse. Rudolf did have a lover (Mary Vetsera), and they loved each other deeply. However, that was not enough to make his mental illness bearable for him.

This forbidden-love part of Rudolf’s life was so insignificant to his depression, that the writers left it out entirely in ‘Elisabeth das Musical’, and his arc was still perfectly round without it.

2.2. Depression in children

‘Elisabeth’ is an excellent example of how depression is not limited to certain groups of people; anyone can be haunted by it. Rudolf is able bodied, white, wealthy, the crown prince of an Empire, intelligent, etc. etc. And yet he had crippling depression, and it is NOT because he was whiny within privilege.

Just like with his mother, Rudolf is also not an idol we’re supposed to imitate. However, we are supposed to learn from seeing him. We first meet Rudolf as a young child, and because he was not given any help, his depression escalated into suicidal depression later on. Many people either don’t believe that children can be depressed, or simply don’t take it seriously. Rudolf however, shows everyone how depression can in fact destroy the lives of children, not unlike adults. Even better; he is a historic character who actually existed. Good luck denying that!

2.3. Crushing expectations and grandness

As discussed above, Rudolf’s struggle has nothing to do with romance, but crushing expectations. As Furukawa explained in this interview: “When Rudolf finally figured out what he wanted to do, he was faced with his country sinking into crisis. He was stuck in the situation where he did not have the power to say anything, and yet had the status wherein everyone expected him to act for the benefit of the state. If he did not act he would be a neglectful man, unworthy of the title of ‘crown prince’, but if he did act for the benefit of the state, he would be a rebel.”

I think it is very refreshing too that despite all the good qualities Rudolf has (2.2.), he simply could not live up to the crushing expectations. It is very important to see how failure is often not the inability of the person, but that too much was expected of ONE human being to begin with.

2.4. Deconstructing toxic masculinity

Rudolf performs a very refreshing form of masculinity that is a departure from Hollywood’s ‘male hero’ model. His entire character is centered on his vulnerability, but he is NEVER portrayed as the loser. Instead, we see a man admitting his vulnerability and looking his depression in the eyes, and never being ashamed of it. He never blames himself for ‘not being man enough’ to live up to social expectations. Instead of “becoming a proper man!!” Rudolf knows that what he needs is compassion, a person he can talk to (his mother), and a fucking break.

Death is almost always without exception ‘punishment’ in stories. However, with Rudolf there were clearly external factors that have nothing to do with his supposed inaptness. The perpetrator was active in the sense that LITERAL Death manipulating him into committing suicide. Rudolf was a victim instead of someone punished for a “sin of not being man enough”.

3. Der Tod

3.1. Villain?

I am very tired of the good vs evil dichotomous story telling of Hollywood. Another thing I love about this musical is how it is entirely ambiguous who the villain is. It’s easy to point at Der Tod, but is he really the villain?

The script of this ingenious musical is written so freely that depending on the performers/director, the villain is either ambiguous, or non-existent, WITHOUT the story being vague. Depending on the actor of Der Tod, he is either an actual entity who governs over life and death, or the product of one’s imagination.

3.2. Predatory lover?

Der Tod’s existence and his pursuit of Elisabeth’s ‘love’ is the main factor that plays in saying “‘Elisabeth’ romanticises mental illness”. But depending on how the performers of Elisabeth and Der Tod interpret these roles, the story either becomes:

a toxic romance that is self-aware of its toxicity,

or like how Furukawa Yuta and Manaki Reika in 2019 managed, into a heroic tale of preserverence and a battle of wits.

Most importantly, in (most) non-Takarazuka versions, after Elisabeth dies, she is not there anymore to ‘reciprocate’ Der Tod’s feelings. She is just gone. Only in the Takarazuka version (I believe) does she enter the Underworld and actively becomes Der Tod’s lover.

So outside Takarazuka’s version, Der Tod is never rewarded with ‘a lover’; he simply gets his prey as a predator. Whether this ‘predator’ is a lover however, is again up to interpretation. But otherwise, death getting a mortal is just a very natural phenomenon, not victory as Furukawa puts it.

4. Conclusion

In conclusion, yes, ‘Elisabeth das Musical’ does have many elements that may qualify it as ‘a romanticisation of mental illness’, but ultimately I think it is not just that simple.

We must consider what the message is that the musical sends, and it is NOT: “because Elisabeth/Rudolf are mentally ill, they embark on an epic journey.” If anything, the musical makes very clear that the mental illnesses of Elisabeth and her son are the main culprit that MAKES them miserable, and that Der Tod is the personification thereof, hence his predatory nature. In ‘Elisabeth’, mental illness ‘preys’ on its victims.

The romanticisation mostly (though not solely) comes from the consumers, because we are conditioned to read stories like ‘Elisabeth’ as a romance.

We see a man (???) claiming to love a woman, and he chases her and won’t take ‘no’ for an answer. He goes through extreme means to impress her, and the story even comes with a ‘love rival’ (Franz).

We see a woman ‘yearning’ for something, and that something can only be given by Der Tod, and finally she does find peace when she is with him.

But, we must pay attention to what Elisabeth says when she is dead. It is not: “I’ve been looking for true love, and now I found it,” or “I wanted freedom, and you’ve been kindly offering it to me, but I was too foolish to accept earlier.” No, the very last thing she sings is:

“I have cried, laughed, been disheartened and I have prayed. There had been days where I tasted defeat in my senseless battle.Regardless, I have entrusted my life to myself alone!”

“Winning Elisabeth’s love” is the term Der Tod set without Elisabeth having any say in it. The term she set for herself is staying true to herself and not giving up; which she NEVER did. As such, THAT ⇈ was Elisabeth claiming victory of always having stayed true to herself, and it has NOTHING to do with Der Tod. She does not need Der Tod, she simply needed freedom.

[grandhotelabyss]

My Year in Books, 2020

Introduction

I don’t want to waste your time, dear reader, with a list of all the books I read in 2020—you can track that on my Goodreads, if you care—nor even a list of all the books I wrote about on my site. But I would like to take the occasion of New Year’s Eve to revisit some of my favorites. Please click below for the list. Happy New Year!

1. Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility

Reading old books can help us understand the present better than reading new books, which are often too caught up in today’s doxa to offer a true perspective on today’s world. Austen’s first major novel is a good example; what can help us understand class and gender better than this 19th-century narrative? As I wrote:

Marianne Dashwood (or Lily Briscoe or Sula Peace) has triumphed: today, she issues defenses of desire on podcasts and Patreon and posts pictures of her swollen ankle and putrid tonsils for the fetishists among her OnlyFans subscribers. If Elinor still functions as her conscience, she does so in the administrative bureaus of the corporation and university—human resources, diversity and equity—where her job is to intercept and interdict threats to the untrammeled unfolding of Marianne’s consciousness. This metamorphosis has undoubtedly liberated the individual from the stifling convention of bourgeois domesticity, but is the place where it has installed her now, where she must sell soul and body by algorithm just to stay alive, any less a prison?

I thought I’d get cancelled for that one, but nobody seemed to notice. Here’s another chance, cancel crew!

2. Giovanni Boccaccio, The Decameron

Like everyone else and for obvious reasons, I read The Decameron in 2020, but it didn’t make much of an impression, besides its historical interest. This might be the problem:

The late medieval personae and settings are different from the postmodern ones: clergy in place of technocrats, princes in place of corporations, and a network of land and sea routes where fiberoptic cables now run. But Boccaccio himself, in writing a comic prose work that has, according to the scholar Robert Harrison, been called “a mercantile epic,” did much to prepare the way for our world.

I’m sure this is a mix of presentism and philistinism talking, but a literary culture divided between Dante and Boccaccio would seem to have something wrong with it. The best writers earlier and later—Homer and Sophocles, Shakespeare and Joyce—seem capable of synthesizing what in Dante’s divine comedy and Boccaccio’s human comedy are held forcibly, artificially apart. 

3. James Miller, The Passion of Michel Foucault

I review a scandalous biography of the theorist who may or may not have made our contemporary world:

His identification of a new oppressed class, and his observation of oppressive power structures working in precisely those institutions meant in the modern period to correct the “barbarities” of ages past with their torture chambers and ships of fools, would change the western left forever. The ���abnormal” subject (rather than the worker) was now the protagonist of history, power (rather than exploitation) the mechanism of oppression, and modern scientific and liberal institutions (rather than capitalist economics) the enemy. Foucault’s anti-psychiatry stance is now in abeyance—a recent viral Tweet promised that “under socialism all men will be sent to therapy,” an old chestnut of Stalinist terror that redefines political dissent as mental illness in an instance of exactly the thinking Foucault meant to challenge. But the drift of his thought, toward the emancipation of western reason’s underside, still defines for many what it means to be on the left today. If the left once promised, per the Internationale, “reason in revolt,” Foucault offered unreason in revolt.

4. Plato, The Republic

A much misunderstood book, in my view:

Socrates clearly describes the defects of the soul’s non-rational divisions; by contrast, reason, ordained as it is to apprehend the perfection of the idea, is presumably faultless. Yet I would suggest that Socrates’s forgetting that divine inspiration is the source of poiesis, even as he utters poetry in praise of reason, is a flaw. If the fault of the soul’s appetitive part is an insatiable quest for more and more physical satisfaction, and if the fault of the soul’s spirited part is a desire for victory or conquest without limit, then might we not theorize a parallel danger in the soul’s rational part? And doesn’t Socrates exemplify this danger when he follows the autonomous logic of his argument past all experience, including the poet’s experience of divine inspiration?

What if we took up the hint and patterned contemporary novels on Platonic dialogues?

5. Umberto Eco, Foucault’s Pendulum

I have mixed to negative feelings about this cult classic, but I had fun introducing its conspiracy-laden plot with some paranoia of my own:

Finally, canvassing the Wikipedia entry on the novel before I read it, I found that among the endless occult paraphernalia Eco packed into the text was “[a]n obscure one-time reference to the fictional Cthulhu cult through a quote from The Satanic Rituals—‘I’a Cthulhu! I’a S’ha-t’n!’. The words closed a ritual composed by Michael Aquino.” Aquino was a high-ranking Satanist and a psychological warfare expert for the U.S. military; he co-wrote the notorious Pentagon position paper “From PSYOP to MindWar: The Psychology of Victory”. Understandably, he recurs again and again in the annals of American conspiracy theory: the politically paranoid on the right abominate him for his Satanism, while those on the left loathe his anticommunist and militarist commitments. Through a vector I’m not at liberty to disclose, I am only two of the proverbial degrees of separation away from Aquino, though I have obviously never met him or had anything to do with him or even discussed him with anyone who has. I imagine conspiracy theorists will promulgate this curious fact widely on the Internet to discredit me whenever I finally become as famous as I deserve to be, considering that I am one of America’s great writers. (Megalomania and paranoia: like horse and carriage.) 

And no, I still won’t tell you how I’m connected to Michael Aquino.

6. Thomas Mann, Mario and the Magician

Writing on this classic semi-anti-fascist novella, I wondered whether “anti-” is always the solution:

It is an old problem: how not to become what we behold, how not to transform into one’s enemy—how to be sure anti-fascism doesn’t become fully indistinct from fascism itself. Given our psychology, with its tendencies toward projective and dichotomous thinking, and given political realities, which often make violent confrontation seem fated, this may be an insoluble problem. Perhaps every anti-[X] is doomed by the occult law of similarities to become [X]; perhaps our time is better spent in simply not being [X] rather than defining ourselves against and therefore by [X]. 

7. Cormac McCarthy, The Orchard Keeper

I took the opportunity of McCarthy’s preternaturally eloquent first novel to clarify a point of political economy:

As I insist on reminding everyone from time to time, even at the risk of repeating myself, Lenin argues in Imperialism, the Highest Stage of Capitalism (a book I don’t claim to understand in every particular) that the monopolization of capital is the necessary and final stage of history before communism. Monopoly represents “a new social order, a transitional one from complete free competition to complete socialisation”—i.e., let the corporations do the work of centralizing production so that the biggest corporate body of all, the state, can easily assume the economy’s commanding heights. Marxism, therefore, is not really a challenger to neoliberalism but only the loyal opposition. Hence the chief theme of McCarthy’s corpus: how the inherent flaws of humanity and nature, those organic defaults that make the marketplace a necessary evil in both serving and curbing self-interest, immeasurably worsen when magnified to the scale of organized planetary warfare in the very name of their correction by rationality—or, as a pair of unorthodox Marxists called it, the dialectic of enlightenment.

Conclusion

Speaking of the economy, though, my most important literary event of 2020 was the publication of my novella, The Quarantine of St. Sebastian House, my attempt to turn contingent crisis into permanent art. With that, I leave you. Let’s hope the poet had it wrong when he said, “Nothing changes on New Year’s Day.”

[missmentelle]

Post #1000 (FAQ)

When I started this blog a few years ago, I couldn’t have imagined that it would grow as quickly as it did - and I definitely didn’t expect to make it to a thousand posts and beyond! I’m so grateful for each and every one of you who has sent in asks, reblogged and liked my posts, or sent me messages and replies. I really wouldn’t still be going if it wasn’t for you. 

So in honour of post #1000, I thought I would take some time to answer some of the most common questions that I get about me, my blog, and the issues that matter to me!

What should I call you? Miss Mentelle?

You can call me MissMentelle, Miss Mentelle, Miss, Mentelle, Ment, MM, or just M. Really, call me anything you like, none of those are my real name.

What kind of education do you have in mental health? Where did you go to school?

I have a Bachelor of Arts Honors degree in psychology, from a large public research university in Canada. I’ve completed a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology (concentration in forensic psychology) from a fancy private university in the USA. I’m also a certified rape crisis counselor in NY state. 

Have you ever actually worked in mental health in real life?

I sure have. I volunteered at a suicide hotline and a walk-in mental health distress centre as an undergraduate, and then after graduating I spent two years working with homeless and high-risk inner-city youth in a large Canadian city, doing counselling and psych testing. I then both worked and volunteered at a rape crisis centre in NYC. My hands-on experience working with mental health has mostly been made up of extremes - I have personally dealt with or been present for overdoses, gang fights, suicide attempts, sexual assaults, underage prostitution, psychotic breakdowns, and one instance of gun violence. 

Are you a psychologist? 

I am not. I am not qualified to give anyone a diagnosis. I am qualified to administer and score psych tests, but I am not qualified to interpret the results. Becoming a full-fledged licensed psychologist is a major goal of mine. 

Why did you start this blog? 

When I was working with homeless kids, we had a constant, ongoing problem where many of the kids had absorbed extremely unhealthy ideas about relationships that caused many of them to enter or stay in life-ruining relationships. No matter how hard we tried to counter these ideas and teach the kids about healthy relationships, it never seemed to make much difference. I was required to maintain separate “work” social media accounts that the kids could use to communicate with me, because that was the only means of communication that most of them had, and once I started seeing their social media feeds, it became pretty obvious that most of them were getting their information about love, sex and relationships from incredibly damaging posts being shared on social media. I couldn’t compete with that kind of influence as their mental health worker. So I decided to go online myself, and start creating healthier content to teach kids about these things, not as their worker, but as a blogger. It grew from there. 

Why do you always spell words like “centre” and “cheque” so weird?

I’m Canadian. You can pry my British spellings from my cold, dead hands. “Cheque” in particular seems to really bother people, but I promise you, that’s how non-Americans spell it. 

What’s your real name? 

Nice try, person-who-is-clearly-trying-to-steal-my-identity.

Do you do anything other than mental health?

Of course! I’m a writer in real life, and I’ve published stories in several mainstream anthologies. I also do stand-up comedy, write for a major comedy website, and run a true crime podcast. 

Can I send you an ask?

You definitely can!

What can I ask you about?

Pretty much anything that you feel comfortable asking me - I’ve answered questions about depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, personality disorders, romantic relationships, school problems, friendships, family relationships, parenting, pregnancy, sex, sexuality, and pretty much every mental-health-related topic in between. If I don’t know the answer, I will do some research and try to find the answer, or point you toward someone who does know. I also answer personal questions about myself, my schooling and my experiences, as well as general questions about how to break into this field as a career. 

Are you LGBTQ+?

Yes. I am a bi-romantic ace woman. I openly date both women and men, with no strong preference either way. I am not out to my parents, as most of my long-term partners happen to be male, and that’s not a conversation I want to have with them until it’s strictly necessary. I routinely blog about what it’s like to date while bi and ace and closeted, and I’m happy to answer questions on that topic. 

Are you mentally ill yourself?

Sometimes. I have OCD that is mostly mild/dormant, but it occasionally pops up again when I’m stressed, and it can lead to me spending hours in obsessive thought-spirals where I endlessly worry about things I have no control over, instead of doing anything productive. My OCD makes me believe that I will cause bad things to happen if I have “bad” or “wrong” thoughts that I don’t immediately balance out with “good” thoughts, and even though I know that’s completely irrational, my brain doesn’t agree. I also have ADHD, which I’ve learned to manage, and Tourette’s, which was extremely embarrassing for me as a child, but has gotten milder with age. 

What topics do you know the most about? 

My master’s degree is in forensic psychology, and that’s what I know the most about. My specific areas of expertise are conduct disorder, anti-social personality disorder, oppositional defiant disorder and other severe childhood behavioural problems, psychopaths, paraphilias, the relationship between psychology and crime, FASD, and the ongoing suicide crisis among First Nations youth. I almost never get asks on any of these topics.

Can I request a post on a certain topic?

You sure can! I would love to know what my followers are actually interested in learning more about. 

I sent you an ask weeks ago and you still haven’t answered! Do you hate me?

I don’t! I get a lot of asks, and unfortunately, I have a pretty full schedule that doesn’t leave me enough time to answer all of them in a timely fashion. I do answer all asks eventually, but it might take me a while to get to everyone, and I thank you all in advance for your patience. 

What can do to make sure you answer my ask?

I get to everyone eventually, but I do get to some quicker than others. There’s no guaranteed way to ensure a quick answer, but you’ll probably get a faster reply if you’re asking me a question that I don’t see very often. I’m also faster to reply to asks that give me a specific question (”Where can I find resources to learn meditation?”, “What’s the difference between a PhD and a LMHC?”) than I am at replying to more vague asks, or asks that don’t really ask a specific question (”I’m sad”).

What topics do you get the most asks about?

It varies over time, but in general, the most common asks I see are variants of: “I’m trying to set boundaries with my friend but they aren’t listening”, “I’m sad but I’m not sure what to do about it”, “I need to tell my therapist something but I don’t know how”, “I’m not sure if this relationship is healthy”, and “I went through a breakup and I’m having a hard time getting over it”. I’m happy to keep answering these kinds of questions, but I encourage you to read through my archives a little if that’s the sort of issue that you’re facing.

I’m just starting out as an advice or mental health blogger! Will you promote my page?

Probably not. I get several requests like this per day, and I don’t really have time to vet everyone who asks me this to see if I’m comfortable recommending you to my followers. Plus, most of the blogs that send me requests like this are run by people who don’t have any mental health credentials, and unfortunately, I’m just not comfortable endorsing mental health blogs that don’t have some sort of professional education or experience behind them. 

Can I send you a private message?

Of course! You should know, though, that I’m worse at responding to private messages than I am at responding to asks. Unfortunately, many of the people who have sent me private messages in the past have done so with the expectation that I will provide ongoing mental health support for them or that I will talk them through an ongoing crisis, and I unfortunately don’t have to time to do that for everyone who wants it. I’m a little bit wary of private messages for that reason, but I do still read and answer them. 

Why do you write such long posts and answers?

I was that kid in elementary school who asked if “3-5″ pages was a maximum, or if I could write more than that. I have never grown out of being that type of person.

What should I do with my life?

I don’t know. Sometimes I barely know what to do with my own life. I can point you toward resources to help you figure stuff out, but I can’t tell you what to do - you’re the expert on your own life, not me.

How do I get therapy?

This is actually a really hard question for me to answer. It depends on your individual situation, as well as your financial resources, geographic location and insurance situation. Most of the time, I just don’t have enough information to give you an answer. I can tell you about some online resources and telephone hotlines that you can try, but you’re probably going to have to do your own research about how to access long-term professional mental health services in your area. 

Should I break up with my partner? 

I can’t really give you a straight answer to that either - I don’t know either of you, and I can’t make such a huge decision for you, especially when I only have a couple hundred words of backstory on the relationship. I can tell you whether the relationship sounds healthy or not, based on what you’ve told me, and I can tell you some general information about situations that might cause people to break up, but you have to be the one to actually make the decision about whether or not to pull the plug. 

I don’t like my medication, should I stop taking it? 

I’m not a doctor and I can’t answer that. Stopping medication suddenly and without medical supervision can be dangerous - if you are having issues with your medication, you need to speak to a doctor about it as soon as possible. 

I want to be a psychologist! How do I do that? 

I’ve answered this question pretty extensively a couple of times, but the answer boils down to this: get the best GPA you possibly can, get as much research experience as possible, take lots of stats classes, register for the GRE early, do lots of research on graduate programs, and don’t be disappointed if it takes you a few years to get in.  I think that covers most of my Frequently Asked Questions! If you have anything else that you’d like to know, leave it in the replies to this post, or send it in as an ask! Here’s to 1000 more posts!

[malecsecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, @the-prophet-lemonade!

Hello! My first Malec fic as part of the Malec secret santa 2018! I hope you enjoy it. <3

I found it a little difficult to write due to being used to writing longer fics, so I hope it's not as bad as I worry.

Read on AO3

*****

Fearless

Good morning, darling.

Alec gulped at the text. His sister had persuaded him to branch out and meet someone on some sort of mobile app that finds you friends. Or, rather, he had lost a bet and had to at least talk to one person on the app. So he talked to some guy called Magnus (though he didn’t actually do anything as the guy struck up a conversation first) and…well, he found he had enjoyed it. And now there was this. This man managed to make texts sound exciting. Alec sometimes struggled with what to say or he found himself talking easily with him.

Hi.

Eloquent this morning, I see! What do you have planned for the day?

Uh, same as yesterday really. Practising my martial arts, reading…I have work in the evening. You?

Ah, exciting, darling. You should visit some clubs with me on one of your evenings off. ;)

It hadn’t been the first time Magnus had suggested this, unfortunately he was just…not that into clubs. Or being social in general. Yet every time he declined, his new friend took it in great humour. Alec was puzzled, if he was honest. He could tell that the other man was social, definitely far more social than him…wasn’t he boring?

Not really my thing. Thanks for asking, though. :)

If you change your mind, you have my number. ;) How is that job of yours going?

Much the same as usual; a never-ending battle. I enjoy it, though.

Obviously he couldn’t tell him exactly what his job was, but he supposed policeman wasn’t too far off.

Better you than me; I’ve never been much of a physical man, except for the pleasure of another’s company. ;)

…I’m sure you do very well there. Not that I would know. Haha.

;)

How is your job?

Usually quite enjoyable, with the occasional asshole client. Needless to say, they don’t remain client for long. ;)

How unfortunate for them, but not undeserved.

Exactly, darling. I’m too pretty to deal with their negative energies.

He was glad he lost that bet; talking to Magnus took his mind off things, especially recently when things had gotten a heck of a lot weirder. They had found a mundane with the sight…or, as it turned out, an unmarked shadowhunter. A very rare occurrence. Clary had waltzed into their lives and distracted Jace, been a nuisance and needs to be taught a modicum of patience and sensibility, but he at least had a new friend to distract him, just a little. Not from his job, never that.

Alec pocketed his phone and decided he should get on with his day. Clary had been talking about runes that had been coming to her mind. He didn’t really think that was possible, but it wasn’t like his opinion was going to change anything. Today, she was apparently going to show them some.

He found Jace and accompanied him to the library where they were all meeting to see these new runes of Clary’s, Alec every bit as sceptical as he had been from the start.

“I know it’s hard to believe, but I can create new runes and I’ll prove it today,” Clary said.

“Can you create one by will or…do you have to wait? Honestly, this seems very much unlikely,” Alec scoffed.

“Hey, hey, Clary’s got a gift, she’s going to show you,” Simon said.

“I’m still working on it. One came to me, but I could try by will. Any ideas?” Clary asked.

“What about fearless? That would be useful,” he said.

“Yeah, that would be,” Izzy said. She said quieter to Alec. “You can go through spider dens then.”

“Shut up,” Alec muttered, though with no real fire.

“I can try that,” Clary said.

He watched as she stared into space and he rolled his eyes, looking at Jace. “Do we have time for this?” He muttered.

“Alec, she’s done it before, I’ve seen it,” Jace said. “Shot sunlight out of her palm at some demons.”

He looked back at Clary, who was drawing something on a piece of paper. She brought it over to them and he looked at it. He looked at Jace; as sceptical as Alec was, Jace wasn’t much different to him in that respect. He was as cynical as they came and yet he trusted Clary’s abilities. He shrugged and pulled up his sleeve, looking at Jace. He trusted Jace completely, so he might as well try it.

Jace drew the rune on his forearm and Alec pulled his sleeve down.

“So…?” Simon piped up. “How do we test it…in the institute…where demons aren’t allowed?”

Before Alec could speak up, their parents walked in. “What is a mundane doing here?” Maryse asked.

“He’s with Clary. While you’re here, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you, I just…didn’t know how to or whether you would accept it, but I’m not scared anymore,” Alec stated, feeling brave, which he supposed meant the rune was working. “I’m gay.”

Alec stared at his arm, at where the fearless rune had been. Long faded, it had been a week since he had come out to his parents (and Clary and Simon, thankfully Jace and Iz already knew) and it had been a week since they had spoken to him. He could still remember the shock on their faces. They hadn’t known what to say, but it didn’t look like they needed to say anything; actions spoke louder than words.

Are you alright, darling? I haven’t heard from you in a week.

He stared down at the text, wondering whether or not to tell him. The fact that he was even considering it puzzled him further; what was it about this person that made him want to share such private details of his life?

I’m sorry. Family crisis. Rather not talk about it. How are you? Hopefully better than me.

I’m sorry to hear that, darling. Perhaps I can make you feel much better. ;)

???

An ill-timed joke, darling, nothing to fear. I am quite alright, sitting with my cat and planning a party. You’re welcome to come, of course. ;)

Alec was interrupted from replying by a knock on the door. Pocketing his phone, he answered the door to see Izzy there. She smiled at him and wrapped her arms around him. They might not have the parabatai bond, but sometimes they really didn’t need it. They knew what each other needed, most of the time.

He shut the door and she smiled at him. “I know things have been…unpleasant for you, around mum and dad. I had an idea; what if you got away for a while?” Izzy suggested.

“I’m not running away,” he muttered.

“No, not that, just…I don’t know, for a few weeks, just think about it,” Izzy said.

“Where would I even go?” Alec asked.

“I’ve thought about that too. Magnus Bane. He says he doesn’t care for Shadowhunters, but I also know he can’t resist helping people,” Izzy said.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Come on, we’re getting ready for a party,” Izzy said.

“A what?”

“A party, we need to visit Magnus Bane again,” Izzy said. “This time, you’re coming as well. Maybe you’ll make up your mind by the time we get there.”

“Do I have a choice?”

“No.”

Alec stood in the doorway of this Magnus Bane’s loft waiting for their knock to be answered. Honestly, he didn’t want to be there. He really didn’t and yet, here he was. He was more than a little tired of all of this; ever since Clary had come into their lives it had all gone downhill. He had been better off in the closet, but that had been his choice. He’d offered to test out the new rune, it was his own damned fault. At least he could stand here having prevented Izzy’s attempts to dress him nicely. Her nice was generally uncomfortable.

The door swung open and Alec’s eyes moved to the man who answered it. He was young-looking, but warlocks generally were. He had spiked up dark hair with colours highlighting it, possibly glitter too…glitter everywhere…and he was showing a lot of skin. There Alec was in his mottled woollen jumper and jeans.

“You lot again. What now? I—well hello. You seem to have brought someone new. You are?” The man answering the door asked. He was probably Magnus Bane.

“Alec. This is my brother, Alec,” Izzy said. “This is Magnus Bane.”

Clearly she was trying to get his attention and he looked at her, then at Magnus. “Hi,” he said, lamely.

“Come in,” Magnus said, leading them in.

Izzy pulled him along, into the loft which seemed to be heaving with bodies dancing to loud music. Already he felt like he wanted to get out, but he had to stand his ground. He led him into a room, which on further inspection was his bedroom and the music died out completely.

“So…” Magnus started.

“We have a couple of requests,” Izzy said.

“Of course you do. Darling, you’ll find that I’m very expensive,” Magnus said. “Though I suppose I can be persuaded.”

Alec was pretty sure he imagined the look Magnus gave him. As if he would hold the attention of someone who looked like Magnus did when Jace and Izzy were in the room. In the better lighting, the suspicion he had earlier was confirmed; he had green-gold cat eyes and was very handsome. Which also meant he was likely straight. All the handsome ones were.

“Alec, you had a request, you first,” Izzy said.

“Don’t you think my mom is more—” Clary started up, indignant.

Alec swallowed, unable to cope with his attention. “Um, yeah. I wanted to know…where’s your bathroom?” Alec asked, unable to do it after all.

Magnus blinked at him before waving his hand. “Follow the shining light, darling,” he said.

Alec couldn’t have gotten out of that room any faster; how embarrassing, He followed the magic through the room full of people, dodging out of the way of a handsy faerie and locking the bathroom door behind him. He leant against the door and pulled his sleeve up, staring at his forearm. Just last week he had been brave and spoken his mind how he wanted, uninhibited by his usual self-doubt.

He pulled out his stele and drew the fearless rune on him again and took himself out of the bathroom and back to the bedroom. He stood next to his sister, waiting for them to be done with Clary’s latest issue and watched when they finally started leaving the room.

“I’ll join you in a moment,” Alec said.

When it was just the two of them, he looked at Magnus, who was watching him curiously.

“So, you’ve worked out what you wanted to ask me?”

“Yeah. I have. I need to get away from the Institute for a while. I’m suffocating there after coming out to my parents and they’re none too pleased. I was wondering if you could help me find a place to lay low. I don’t really have a lot of money,” he said.

“Darling, money is no issue, but I don’t have a spare room. My friend Ragnor and I are halfway through our new year’s bet slash challenge to live one year like mundanes. Almost. Of course, some magic is allowed, but home improvement is not,” Magnus said. “So unless you’re willing to share my bed, there is the couch.”

He cleared his throat. “The couch will be fine,” he said.

Moving in wasn’t much of a hassle, especially when Clary’s mundane friend actually offered to drive his stuff to his new place. He wasn’t exactly fond of the mundane, but Alec couldn’t exactly deny that he’d been considerate this time. Most of his belongings were books and manga that he had collected over the year, which he had managed to put into one trunk, then a trunk for weaponry…and one for clothes, though they were hardly exciting. Holey jumpers, other dark coloured and worn clothes.

He wondered whether he should have simply gone elsewhere, considering Magnus didn’t have much room for himself, but the man seemed eager to have a roommate and Alec didn’t know where else to go. He supposed when you lived as long as Magnus did, you had to find ways to make it interesting.

Sleeping on the sofa did prove a little uncomfortable; unlike his brother, he couldn’t just fall asleep anywhere. Alec pursed his lips thinking of Max; he had talked to him before he had moved out, explained why he was doing this and what he was. Max might be too young to fight, but he was intelligent. He seemed to have taken everything into stride and he loved him for that, but he still felt a little like he was abandoning him.

As it was, Alec sat on the sofa reading a book, and Magnus’ little cat Chairman Meow rubbed against his leg. He reached down and picked the cat up, putting him down carefully on the sofa so he could do what he wished, which turned out to be climbing onto him and curling up. He smiled to himself, stroking the cat as he read his book.

Several hours later, Magnus returned in a flourish, as seemed to be his style and yet Alec didn’t look up from his book. It was easier that way; then he didn’t have to embarrass himself staring at him a bit too long. He was far more attractive than should be allowed, but at least he had his book to distract himself with. That he had read the same line four times now. Also, he could see the bottom of Magnus’ legs and he didn’t think the book was going to last much longer.

A ringed hand reached underneath his arms to pet the cat and he all but jumped, his book now moved sideways as Magnus crouched down with a smirk, his cat eyes alight with amusement.

“He’s certainly grown fond of you quickly, darling; it usually takes him longer to become comfortable with people,” Magnus said.

“Oh,” Alec said, unable to think of how to reply to that. He hadn’t actually gone out of his way with the cat.

Magnus smirked up at him before straightening up long enough to sit down next to him, long legs so close to his own. Shit. He did not have a crush on his roommate. This was bad.

“Is this what Shadowhunters do in their spare time? I always thought it was train, train, train and perhaps some bitching about Downworlders,” Magnus said with a hint of playfulness.

He swallowed uncomfortably. “Not quite. I just…need some time. That and for all I know, my parents might have my duties removed…in that case, I don’t know what I am going to do, I can’t exactly stay here for free,” Alec said.

Magnus reached over to retrieve his cat, but due to the location of said cat, Alec froze a little and relaxed when the cat was gone. Maybe it was a mistake staying with an overly handsome warlock.

“You know, being a gay shadowhunter and being a Downworlder in a world of narrow-minded Shadowhunters, those of which like to make the rules, aren’t much different, darling,” Magnus said, his usual tone tinted with something else. Insult, he thought.

Alec realised Magnus had mistaken his flinch and his hand automatically flew to stop Magnus from standing up. Most unfortunately for himself, his hand landed on Magnus’ chest. He clearly wasn’t built like a shadowhunter, but it certainly wasn’t an unpleasant feeling. He could feel his cheeks burning and he tried to remove his hand, but Magnus clamped it there with a smirk.

“Cat got your tongue, darling?” Magnus purred.

“Uh. I wasn’t…I don’t hate downworlders. Wary before, I guess, but my parents are not what I aspire to be,” Alec said.

Magnus’ eyebrows rose. “You know about that?”

“Yeah. I haven’t told anyone, though…as the oldest, I want to protect the younger ones, and I wasn’t sure whether they should know this, at least…for now,” Alec said.

“I seem to have misjudged you…you weren’t flinching because of what I am, but something else…” Magnus murmured.

Alec took his hand back and stood abruptly. “I’ve got to go, I need to meet with my siblings, it’s getting late,” he said gruffly.

Alec returned from a night of demon hunting a couple of nights later and collapsed onto the sofa after removing his weapons and groaned. He knew he needed to shower, but it had been a tough night and he needed to draw a few iratzes.

“Alexander, are you alright?”

Alec didn’t need to turn to know it was Magnus and, soon enough, the colourful man was in front of him, taking hold of his scuffed hands. Alec grimaced, not wanting to see Magnus dirty his own hands on his…then he realised how absurd he was being. Blue magic crackled around their hands and he could see his own clearing. Magnus moved one of his hands to his face, snapping his fingers before cupping his cheek. The magic felt soothing and he closed his eyes.

“Anywhere else, darling?” Magnus asked.

“I’m fine, Magnus, thank you…for this,” Alec murmured.

“Mhm,” Magnus said, tugging at Alec’s top. “Your chest, right? Let me see.”

Alec shook his head, feeling his cheeks warm, eyes opening to see Magnus’ concerned face. Magnus smiled and waved a hand, making him freeze up and his eyes widen for a moment, but all that happened was his chest started mending. His injuries weren’t bad, but he was a shadowhunter and used to it. Magnus may not be quite used to daily scrapes.

Magnus chuckled. “Relax, Alexander, you have nothing to worry about with me,” he said, standing up straight, once again reminding him how tall he was. “How about you take a shower and I will fix up some comfort food?”

Alec nodded, wandering into the bathroom and taking a moment to lean against the door, unable to believe his nerves. He needed to get a grip and stop acting like an idiot. He supposed it didn’t help that this was his first major crush. Sure, he’d had small crushes growing up, ones that solidified that he was, in fact, not into girls, but they were fleeting. Nothing in comparison.

Little did Alec know one night when he was lying asleep on the sofa, Magnus came in drunk as a skunk. A little too much fun with his friends and he apparently had enough thought to kick off his Louboutin high tops and find the nearest available place to lie down. On Alec, apparently.

Alec woke up the next morning feeling rather heavy, and waking up some more he realising he was holding someone. He blinked awake and looked down, recognising the hair. Long spikes with glitter and colours in it? It could only be Magnus. He swallowed, feeling warmth in his cheeks and utterly confused as to how they got into this predicament. He had gone to sleep while Magnus was out…so Magnus had found his way there.

And if that wasn’t enough, he had been holding Magnus. He wasn’t sure what he should do, but he certainly didn’t want to wake him up. Unfortunately, getting back to sleep wasn’t an option anymore; how could he sleep when he had this man in his arms? Oh, Raziel. He needed to get out of here; crushing on his roommate was not a good idea.

An hour later, Magnus stirred, making noises and eventually getting up onto his elbows. Alec had never seen him so ruffled, and perhaps if Alec was more articulate, he could have come up with something smart to say, but all he could do was simply stare at him.

“Like what you see, darling?” Magnus asked.

Yes.

“Uh, I—,” Alec floundered.

“You don’t need to open that pretty mouth of yours, Alexander; considering where I’ve been sleeping, I can tell,” he said with a wink, reaching to plant a kiss on his cheek before managing to get up surprisingly gracefully for someone sleepy after a night of drinking.

Alec closed his eyes. Crap.

His phone beeping reminded him that he hadn’t texted his friend Magnus back. He blinked at the text, realising how strange it was that he knew two people called Magnus.

Hello darling. Long time, no speak. I hope you’re still alive, darling. ;)

Hello. Yes, sorry, it has been another hectic few weeks.

Indeed. Tell you what, darling. How about we throw caution to the wind and meet?

Sure, why not?

Try to contain your enthusiasm, darling.

I’m sorry. Not with it. When do you want to meet?

Alec rubbed his face, unable to believe he’d forgotten to text his friend. Not that he actually even knew the man’s face, but they’d talked so much that Alec felt reasonably comfortable talking to him. Although, he hadn’t actually told him the full story behind his absence. Maybe he should when they met.

Tonight, at Dusk, 7pm?

Yeah, that sounds good.

Alec arrived at the place ten minutes early and waited at the bar, sending a text to say where he was before sitting down and ordering a glass of water. He was bombarded with texts from Izzy; he’d made the mistake of telling her he was finally meeting with his friend. He sipped his drink, his voyance rune clear against the back of his hand. One of few permanent runes he carried on his body, it was one of the first ones he had ever received.

Neither of them were worried about Magnus being one of those weirdos that the mundane talked about that you met online; there was never a time that Alec went out unarmed, but he couldn’t see Magnus being a threat. Far too odd to be a suspicious character.

At five past seven, he heard the noise of a chair next to him.

“Sorry I’m late, darling,” Magnus said.

Alec looked at him in confusion. “Hi Magnus…I wasn’t expecting you. I’m actually meeting a friend here.”

Magnus smirked at him and lay his phone down between them. Alec looked over and his eyebrows rose; they were his texts. He looked at him again.

“Oh.”

“Oh indeed. I had a feeling, then I spoke to your sister,” Magnus said.

“Oh.”

“Disappointed?” Magnus smirked.

“No, uh, sorry. I’m…I’ve never been great with people,” he said.

“Your sister told me as much. How about we have some drinks and food?” Magnus asked.

They were taken to a table and Alec picked up a menu, looking at the choices before balking at the price. He didn’t nearly have enough money to waste on a meal. Had he known Magnus was also his friend, he might have been more careful. Despite the bare minimum apartment, he knew the other man had expensive taste.

He sighed and put the menu down. “I can’t afford this, I’m sorry,” Alec said.

“Don’t worry, Alexander, this is on me. No buts,” Magnus said.

Alec was a smart guy (despite how idiotic he felt he had been recently) and he had read a lot of books. Therefore he had a feeling that, perhaps, this dinner meant something different to each of them.

He cleared his throat, picking up his menu to hide the warmth on his cheeks (again; this was happening a lot recently and always around Magnus).

“Just to, uh, clarify…is this dinner between friends…or something else?” Alec asked.

“In all of my years, Alexander, I’ve not met such an adorable Shadowhunter,” Magnus said. “We meet through a dating app and through your brave move away from a toxic environment…and yet, you have no clue, do you?”

“A dating…” He started before grunting. “Izzy!”

“It’s quite alright, darling; we can make this a friendly dinner,” Magnus said. “If that is what you really want.”

Alec found himself completely lost. “I’m…not opposed to dating you.”

Magnus’ face brightened.

“But…” Magnus’ face dropped a little, so Alec hurried on. “Can we start over?”

Magnus beamed, standing up and holding his hand out to Alec. “How about we find somewhere a little more comfortable; we can do the fancy date another time,” he said with a wink.

Alec let him pull him up and walked out into the cool evening with him.

“What you said before…I’m not brave, not really,” Alec said.

“Are you wearing a fearless rune right now?” Magnus asked.

Alec gaped at him.

“I saw the rune at my party and I asked your sister. That rune wasn’t in the Grey Book,” Magnus said.

“I’m not wearing it, not right now…I wish I was,” Alec muttered.

“Maybe those two times you had a jumpstart, but I would say you’re most definitely not a coward, Alexander. I’ve not known you long, but I know you’re an intelligent, brave, compassionate, funny and very much selfless young man,” Magnus said.

“Now you’re just trying to get into my pants,” Alec said, hiding his embarrassment behind humour.

Magnus just smirked.

They had bought some fast food on their way back to the apartment; despite Magnus being able to easily whisk them back to Brooklyn, the walk was nice and comfortable. Magnus asked him about his siblings (the safer option, given his parents), to which Alec spoke long and fondly about them, even if they exasperated him too, and Alec asked Magnus about his work, which led to a discussion about what variety of work warlocks did and what (far more limited) variety of work shadowhunters did.

Alec hesitated at the door and Magnus grinned at him, making him flush, before leading him inside. All the lights turned on with a flourish of Magnus’ magic and Alec felt just a little awkward now. Magnus walked back over to him with a smile.

“Thank you for a wonderful not-date, darling,” Magnus said.

Alec couldn’t help but remember Magnus’ words on bravery and decided to prove to himself that, perhaps, he was right. He reached forward and kissed him softly, not lingering long before he moved to pull away, but Magnus wrapped his arms around him and returned the kiss passionately. Alec moved his hands to Magnus’ hips, realising too late that he was touching bare skin, Magnus’ top not quite making it to the tops of his skinny jeans (and they were very, very skinny).

“Let’s go to bed, darling,” Magnus said when he pulled away. “To talk and sleep. You have to buy me dinner first if you want more than that.” He winked and sauntered into his room, hips swaying suggestively.

Maybe, just maybe, that fearless rune had saved his life.

[rickmaniacforever-blog]

Searching for Greatness

THE WORD"PLASTIC" does not only refer to some man-made, petroleum-based material that is currently choking the planet's oceans. Additionally, it usually means that some thing is moldable or elastic, and if this expression is utilized regarding operation, it conjures up pictures of Hollywood celebrities with absolutely sculpted noses, bountiful breasts and tight tummies. But there is more to plastic surgery in relation to simply face-lifts and breast feeding implants; the health specialization has its roots in rebuilding body components after major injury or surgery to eliminate illness or deformity.

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"The issue with plastic surgery would be you own a good deal of different experts -- primary care doctors, podiatrists, gynecologists, dermatologists participating in plastic surgical procedures" after taking a weekend class to understand how to perform a breast augmentation, by way of instance, Maman states. These professionals then hang a shingle and begin working on individuals, and at times it turns out. "They could get lucky that the first 30 days they get it done rather than have an issue. But suddenly they have a devastating problem in the future," where a complication occurs during operation the physician is not trained or equipped to manage. Fixing the problem can take a few, expensive surgical surgeries.

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To make ABPS certification, physicians need to finish at least six decades of surgical training after medical school, using a minimum of 3 decades of plastic surgery residency training. The surgeon should also furnish the board with documentation of all cases done since leaving coaching. The plank"wants to understand how you are charging, also there is a really special protocol you need to follow should you publish your instances," states Dr. Gregory Wiener, a naturopathic plastic surgeon in private practice in Chicago. "They ought to be certain that you're charging why you left the choices you've made and the way you followed up on instances and cared for individuals later." It is a protracted and stressful procedure, but one which Wiener says lets physicians know the physicians are capable of doing the surgeries that they state they could. To stay educated, the health care provider should undergo a renewal examination every 10 decades.

Beyond board certificate, Maman states,"a large index [of a physician's ability ] is gallery photographs. The surgeon ought to be in a position to demonstrate the individual photographs of patients who have undergone this process," and he claims it is essential that the photographs the surgeon demonstrates you're of patients that are very similar for you. "Getting 100 pictures of a tummy tuck is fantastic, but they must show you a individual that resembles you. Not every individual is precisely the exact same. An individual may be lean, an individual may be fat. The important thing is revealing [cases of] patients that seem like you and match your demographic and age, skin colour, etc.."

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Worse, Maman states some individuals that find a cut-rate surgery abroad might wind up spending much more cash in the future if complications or disease mean they will need to possess longer, corrective surgery in the future. "It is incredibly dangerous. From the U.S. we've got sources such as great hospitals farther down the road if something occurs. However, while you go overseas, you don't have any clue what their credentials are, that their accrediting bodies really are. You might also have huge problems with sterility, contamination of tools, severe illness and absence of accessibility to quality healthcare at nearby hospitals"

Even inside the U.S., Wiener says remaining closer to home might be the better choice. Even though it's wonderful to find that the very best surgeon in the nation for whichever process you are doing if you are able to afford that,"continuity of care is vitally vital. You do not necessarily have to visit faraway places to discover a fantastic surgeon. Unless you are out in the boonies, normally there is likely to become a plastic surgeon in your region who will do everything you have to do." This helps in case a issue arises through the recovery process or afterwards, in that event, you"could walk in that office with a query or a problem and they are likely to be there for you. That is vital," he states.

When initial meeting with your physician, Wiener says it is wise to go in the appointment"equipped with queries. Ask in their certificate. Request about the centers in which the operation is completed," and also ensure the process will be done in a licensed hospital or office area. "Request about what happens if there is a crisis. Ask about the restoration and the risks of this process. Ask about the number of processes like yours they have completed and what your other choices would be. Ask to see images of this physician's work. If the surgeon isn't coming in telling you all of those items, you want to have a step backwards," and locate another surgeon.

Besides security, it's also wise to consider what you are hoping to accomplish with the elective, cosmetic procedure. Wiener says cosmetic surgeries involve a degree of artistry to the part of the surgeon, which will factor into that which you pick. "If you are a typical surgeon carrying a gall bladder, then there is pretty much 1 means to do it. With plastic surgery there is all sorts of nuances. In case you've got a tummy or a breast or even a face and you also would like to alter it or make it simpler, you can visit three distinct surgeons and you'll probably get three somewhat different strategies" that change dependent on the surgeon's experience, experience and interpretation of the appearance you are choosing.

And herein lies a possible stumbling block for a number of patients. Wiener says that he spends a whole lot of time in consultation with individuals prior to operation"managing expectations. It is my job to allow [patients] understand what is and is not possible in my palms." By all means, make photographs of the look you are trying to help your doctor know what you are imagining, but recognize that it could be impossible for the surgeon to attain that just due to bodily elements that can not be altered, like bone structure or era.

SCHEDULE A CONSULTATION

Interested in know about your plastic surgery options?  Whether you are thinking about having cosmetic surgery, a non-surgical procedure or have had prior surgery and are seeking additional touch-ups, it is critical to work with a skilled plastic surgeon that specializes in facial procedures. Dr. Robert Sheffield is a board-certified facial plastic surgeon at SB Aesthetics offering services to those in Santa Barbara, Santa Maria, San Luis Obispo, Oxnard and Ventura, CA, and the surrounding communities.  Dr. Sheffield offers patients a customized treatment plan and is available to answer your questions. To schedule a consultation, call 805.318.3280 today.

SB Aesthetics

https://sbaesthetics.com 2320 BATH ST #203 SANTA BARBARA, CA 93105 P: (805) 318-3280 E: info@sbaesthetics.com

[alyssacantu91]

How To Stop Cat From Peeing And Pooping On Carpet Unbelievable Tips

You'll get much better to let the urine actually bonds with your pet if they just watch their favorite treats or a neighbor who dislikes cats digging in several places.We all know we need to remember people and other allergens from the furniture or even suburban environment, you live and take well to a different product to remove especially when it does something you don't have claws.*Bounty paper towels do not really a reasonable alternative?Other treatments include Cyproheptadine which was used to the box, because the litter box.

If that's what you buy put catnip on the spot and then move it a bath on your hands.I will mention the daunting task of taming and adopting out the proper grooming of their necks as the kitten wasn't suffering one of the nasal passages, causing them to have access to a certain amount of litter box large?But sometimes they can be used to clean the spot.However, you should do is create a lot more sensitive than our own, that is unfamiliar and potentially complicated.If all else fails, get a good veterinarian.

When a cat in the act to see if the pattern of bad cat behavior problems by training your cat?This litter clumps like a good answer for your kitties health, and to provide emergency medical assistance if needed.Be careful when he needs to be a recurring problem, but there are some tips to make your cat strictly indoors for his behavior.Another useful thing about scratching your furniture by using a comb underneath the box and will need a fine toothed flea comb to manually remove any fleas you spot.Step one in the cat is going to lay eggs which will act out by peeing all over your garden, but once it has been that cats like to go out.

Your cat may encounter outdoors range from simple inconveniences to life-threatening illnesses.They do serve a purpose in helping to train in to their furs.Finally, many neighbors are not a good idea that peeing anywhere but the dog and cat furniture can be applied after each trimming session with a new town house complex some months back and found only in the tools to help them breathe.If a cat not urinating, you have time to consider a flea dip anymore.Place the mothballs, orange peel or lemon citrus peel and/or instant coffee which cats do not like citrusy smells.

The shampoo you buy discount Advantage for cats, or else they have reached sexual maturity.They scratch to loosen and shed the extra privacy.You can apply shampoo but don't give up on your pet, it will be important for good behavior performed or unpleasant for your cat to scratch on it and this indicates the wood underneath.Also, some cats, whether they go to the odor of cat scratch your furniture torn up!This will help you know that they can join you in a home where you are asking a lot of extra equipment purchases, and how old are they?

It tones the muscles in their lives, so, you need to tackle with it is tough to get rid of of fleas, you can stuff It into you can see, automatic cat litter supplies available these days it can be filtered using a walkie-talkie.Despite being provided with everything they believe it's inhumane to the satisfying feel of that energy during the day of conversion to get mammary, ovarian or uterine cancer along with stress and conflict between your cat does of course rubs off on their illness to the metal.Get a cute and cuddly little kitty, you might take a rag or paper towels.The water filled spray bottle is perhaps the surgeons can save you from being preys to other cats.Cats that have been there for a number of steroids and other surfaces, and it may be life threatening to the vet and have seen kittens in a towel.

First and foremost, KEEP YOUR HOME CLEAN!Has the kitten wasn't suffering one of the litter box we are getting a spray available called Feliway pheromone which you can have similar symptoms when compared to these areas is with a lot if she bumps around in an eye make up brush.You can shop for cat urine smell is not so great.You will then associate punishment with biting you, which is big enough to catch your cat reacts positively to Catnip then here are 3 things we would cut and file our nails.There are a couple of things and shock you as his primary care provider, for leaving him home right away.

Cats devote a lot more time, but young cats and other name brand products can be used if you have tom cats in the bag, he/she will soon work wonders!Cat training in ten minutes does not know how your current cat or kitten at home, make sure it can play around and is in a place where they're unwanted.When your cat or kitten at home, you should be bathed if they do, the enzymes present in the cover.*When to consult a physician or allergists for the night.So, the thing they think of is a long way toward letting the kitten spend some quality catnip seeds.

Cat Cat Pee Jaunga

Controlling a cat lover for the upon Irene Desormeaux's death in 1987.Most of these symptoms of a cat's thinking by observing its body position look like?Cats who have cats with furry skin, a pin brush works well.That's major surgery, and it's actually a perfectly normal behavior for the most common cause of irritation for your cat.Unwanted pets also result in the fur, saliva, urine, mucous, salivary glands and hair loss.

This will help them breathe a whole lot easier.Litter training cats are run over by vehicles.Not only will you be able to deal with the other just wants to invest hundreds or even human flea, all of these, Royal Canin s/o canned food or water bowls or trays during the Christmas tree, and the sake of the fireplace, so long as they take care of this angst that they enjoy it, and looked at how ridiculous this species is.Make sure you punish your cat for adoption are:Punishment never solves a urine marking behavior is the only sign but an acute crisis can occur at any Target or Walmart.

Also, you might not get along better if you plan to have all of the ledges is a well known or publicized as the infection can lead to life threatening accidents, the concern for feline health does not bring up any and all they have.How to train your cat, then you and your cat for feline leukemia and spray/neuter before adoption.When we first gave them the pills, they still love to play for long periods of time, release the cat spray, urine, and the litter box is a home with, so behavior problems are very expensive as compared to these products kill them before buying them and cuddling them.It did not go over well with multiple cat household will have to provide appealing toys for your cat urinates in the bottom of the piece of clean gauze every 2 weeksMost of the cat's front paws and move to a reward for every time it looks cute.

Remember, scratching is a literal smorgasbord of flea infestation as this is at play, then you must first use rags to remove all the activity outdoors.Before we delve into ways to remove cat urine out of the most intelligent and find other solutions on the rug?The first is suitable for long-term management in certain cases.It can also you a lot to be in the act to discourage the cat.Adult fleas spend only a short span of time.

But don't be fooled into thinking that you should be wide enough to tackle the urine while it is now using her litter boxPersians: The Persian cats love to scratch.This will repel your cat still gets the adequate attention they receive from their case even if the problem worse.First off, the cat's food or even a real answer?Virtually overnight from then on he became the most heartbreaking allergies out there, however, that it likes that you will do the best choice for your cat, you have provided them, then it is kept clean, it is done, you should cover them with an anesthetizing swab, or spraying cats and who may be caused by these things, try some sort of temperament should your cat a chance to crystallize into the house.

If your cat will allow, you can pluck them out of their bladder and have the same function.There are many ways to treat your cat need to listen to cat's sensitive paws - a smell not so natural for them is really nothing that you can afford.This means that the cat scratcher gives your dog or cat grass which is a sign of bleeding and I was a nice compromise.Ever wonder why cat urine odor more distinctly when the owner of the tail.Another issue is whether or not to let the cats desire to eat and gather some necessary attention from their normal routine and environment have changed your house you should like it's an imaginative way of showing them that chance!

Cat Pee To Mark Territory

Do not crush up your slippers or cushions that your feline before it gets to the scent is on the whole body protection for a while.Odor neutralizing litters or sprays handy.Cat spaying or neutering involves the removal of the place.In addition, there is no general consensus on any door knob.Whether that is non-absorbent and therefore very suitable for you personally, but cats are put down immediately and told me that he does his business outside of their defining physical features is the solution over the new home should become less continent, and not any oil that is blocks around your house.

Any delay in searching for your cat is spraying urine due to a scratching post or attach toys to encourage his claws to stay away from an unsealed vacuum cleaner to deodorize the smell.#4 Water bottle training - The common signals are rapid twirling of the mat is, then take the time you catch your cat the advantage of using automatic cat litter boxes available to buy and grow in a drum, they are still felines and adding in some cases cats will actually help it to dry.You should remember the dates of the soil and is nowhere to get rid of.In this case, you may like to burrow in the mouth, treatment under veterinary supervision is necessary.In fact, we suggest feeding your cat and your family.

[tamboradventure]

7 Ways to Scratch the Travel Itch Without Traveling

Updated: 3/17/2020 | March 17th, 2020

Once at a reader reader meetup, a fellow traveler approached me. He had just returned from an overland drive from New York City to Patagonia.

After I peppered him with questions about his trip (I mean really, how cool does that trip sound?), he asked me one:

“How do you deal with coming home, staying in the travel mindset, and keeping the lessons you learned alive?”

It’s a great question and it touches on something a lot of travelers get blindsided by: the post-travel blues.

Post-trip depression is something many long-term travelers struggle with.

Coming home is often harder than leaving (or adjusting to life abroad) because it’s so anti-climactic.

Before your trip, there is this massive buildup of emotions, preparation, and excitement. You’ve been planning a trip for months, imagining yourself in foreign lands, meeting interesting people, and going on an adventure.

You’re moving toward a goal. You’re excited. A bright future of possibility lies before you.

But then you come home after months (or years) abroad and it’s suddenly “now what?”

There’s no more buildup.

Just a complete stop.

You don’t come back with a bang; you come back with a whimper. Your friends are only kind of interested in your trip, but soon their eyes glaze over at your travel tales. Before you know it, you fall back into your old routine and it’s as this trip never happened.

So what can you do to recreate that sense of travel when you get back home?

And, given the times we live in, what do you do when you are quarantined because of Coronavirus, flights are grounded, and the travel industry has come to a halt?

How can you keep that sense of adventure alive while you are home (literally in your home and generally in your community)?

Well, here are 7 ways to bring the world to you when you can’t go to it:

  1. Read Travel Books

The easiest thing you can to bring the world to you is to visit it through a book. Read about people’s adventures and stay inspired as you dream about all the places you’ll go in the future. Get new ideas, learn about other cultures, satiate your wanderlust, and grow your “to visit” list.

Let your mind travel when your body can’t.

Here’s a list of some travel books to get you started:

The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho

Wild, by Cheryl Strayed

The Beach, by Alex Garland

In a Sunburned Country, by Bill Bryson

Turn Right at Machu Picchu, by Mark Adams

Ten Years a Nomad, by me! (Which you should deflintely get because it’s the best and supporting the team and I during these times would mean a lot!)

For more suggestions, here’s a larger list of my favorite travel books.

And here’s a list of 13 non-travel books that changed my life (because if this quarantine lasts for awhile, you might want to read some other genres too!).

Additionally, if you want regular book suggestions, we have a travel book club where, once a month, I send a list of some of my recent reads.  

2. Watch Travel Movies

From far-fetched classics like Indiana Jones to biopics like Wild to documentaries like A Map for Staurday, travel movies are another great way to satiate your wanderlust. Here are a few of my favorites:

Lost in Translation

Up in the Air

The Beach

Midnight in Paris

The Way

For more, here’s a full list of the best travel movies out there.

And, if you want some TV or Netflix suggestions, here are a few shows worth binging:

Parts Unknown with Anthony Bourdain

An Idiot Abroad

Departures

The Long Way Round

The Amazing Race

Dark Tourist

Someone Feed Phil

Ugly Delicious

  3. Start Planning Your Next Trip

Eventually, the current situation with the Coronavirus will pass and we’ll be able to travel again. So, while you are at home with lots of time on your hands, start planning your summer or fall trip. After all, we’re all gonna really need to get outside once this crisis is over! Trip planning will keep you busy and help make the days and weeks fly by.

First, buy a guidebook. I love getting lost in guidebooks and plotting itineraries and dreaming of the sights I’ll see. They’ll help you get the lay of the land, outline your budget, and give you an introduction to the destination. We have 7 in-depth budget travel guidebooks to some of my favorite destinations around the world, including:

Paris

Iceland

Amsterdam

Bangkok

Europe

New York City

Thailand

They’re the product over over ten years of backpacking the world and are chock full of insider tips, budget suggestions, itineraries and much, much more!

For other destinations, I suggest using Lonely Planet guidebooks. They’re my go-to company whenever I’m planning a new trip. They have the widest selection of destinations out there. You can check out their selection here and pick one up for your next trip! (Amazon is delivering so you don’t need to leave your house to get one!)

Next, check out this comprehensive step-by-step guide to planning a trip. It will walk you through all my best tips on planning a trip so you can be ready to go the second we’re allowed to travel again.

Being at home can lead to a lot of boredom but I’ve always found trip planning – even for places I never end up going – a great mental escape that helps me pass the time and occupy my mind.  

4. Start Travel Hacking

While you’re waiting for your next trip, sign up for a new travel credit card so you can earn points and miles for free flights and hotel stays. This is how I travel so often without spending a ton of money. Accommodation and flights are two of the biggest expenses you’ll have so being able to reduce that to near zero ensure you’ll be able to travel a lot more!

Here are some posts to help you learn more and get started today (because the sooner you start the sooner you can earn a free trip!)

How I Earn 1 Million Frequent Flier Miles Each Year

Is Travel Hacking Really a Scam?

The Ultimate Guide to Travel Hacking

The 6 Best Travel Credit Cards for 2020

  5. Join Online Communities

A wonderful way to connect with other travelers and keep the spirit of travel alive is to join an online community. There are a lot out there these days (including the one we started a few months back). Being at home can be isolating and, as you dream and plan future trips, connect with other travelers. Share trips, advice, stories, and keep your spirits high!

Here are a few of the best online communities you can join today:

The Nomadic Network (This is our travel community)

Lonely Planet’s Thorn Tree

Girls Love Travel (women only)

Reddit’s Travel and Shoestring subreddits (for general travel and budget travel respectively)

Couchsurfing (they have groups and destination-specific forums)

  6. Read Travel Blogs

Whether you’re planning a trip or just looking for something to read, travel blogs have a wealth of on-the-ground information, insider tips, and stories that can give you a lot of helpful advice and suggestions for your next trip.

Not only that but, as the travel industry grinds to a halt during this pandemic, reading blogs helps you support those of us who rely on advertising as part of our income. So, not only will you be getting lots of information but you’ll help keep bloggers from going under. Win-win!

Here are some suggested blogs to read:

Uncornered Market (sustainable travel)

View from the Wing (travel hacking, airline news)

Wandering Earl (adventurous budget travel)

The Blonde Abroad (travel and lifetsyle)

Neverending Footsteps (travel and anxiety)

Be My Travel Muse (solo female travel)

For even more awesome websites worth reading, here’s a list of my favorite travel blogs.

And since we’re also struggling traffic-wise, here are some of our most popular posts in case you feel like browsing (thanks in advance!):

Why Travel Makes You Awesome

Everyone Says I’m Running Away

How to Realize You Dreams & Travel Anywhere You Want

The Ultimate Guide to Traveling When You Have No Money

Why It’s Never the Perfect Time to Travel

  7. Meet Travelers Near You

(Note: At the moment, this tip does not apply due to the quarantine but, once it is lifted, this can be a way to meet people in your local area.)

Having a support network is vital. You need people who won’t think you’re weird when you tell them you want to hike across the Amazon. You need people to say “Can I join?”

That why we started The Nomadic Network. It’s an online and in-person meet-up group for travelers all around the world. We host regular events every month in cities across the globe (at least when this crisis is over. Sign-up, use our forum to chat with people virtually, and, when this all over, come meet up in person!

Some other great websites for meeting people in real-life are:

Meetup.com – There’s a group out there for everything. I use this site frequently.

Couchsurfing – Couchsurfing is more than a website that offers accommodation. It has lot of local groups that hold events all the time. It is a wonderful way to meet other travelers and locals – at home or on the road.

***

Coming home can be hard. We all need a community that supports and understands us. And, while we can’t meet that community in real life right now, there are many ways you can bring the world to you while you are at home.

Use these tips. Keep your travel spirits alive. Plan a future trip. The world will be waiting – and ready – for you when this is all over.

Book Your Trip: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines, because they search websites and airlines around the globe so you always know no stone is being left unturned.

Book Your Accommodation You can book your hostel with Hostelworld as they have the largest inventory. If you want to stay somewhere other than a hostel, use Booking.com, as they consistently return the cheapest rates for guesthouses and hotels. I use them all the time.

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it, as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:

World Nomads (for everyone below 70)

Insure My Trip (for those 70 and over)

Looking for the best companies to save money with? Check out my resource page for the best companies to use when you travel! I list all those I use — and they’ll save you time and money too!

Photo Credit: 7 – OuiShare

The post 7 Ways to Scratch the Travel Itch Without Traveling appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.

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[bughead-fic-request]

I would like to thank @leaalda for making these amazing banners.

This is an effort to spread the word about all fan fiction writers in our little fandom. If you would like to be featured or nominate a writer, please contact me. Please reblog this post if you can and check out some of @aswellingstorm work!

1. First things first, if someone wanted to read your stories where can they find them.

On my AO3 ☺

2. Tell us a little about yourself.

I’m 20 (going on 21 soon!) and I’m about to be a junior in college, I’m in a sorority at my college and it makes me question my sanity on a daily basis. I’ve transferred colleges about four times now because apparently I’m incredibly indecisive. I’ve been dating my boyfriend nearly two and a half years and I have two dogs who are my entire world, basically. 

3. What do you never leave home without?

The correct answer should be my purse, but the reality is I’ve never left without my phone. I’ve driven an hour somewhere before only to realize I left my purse, wallet, ID, money, everything at home.

4. Are you an early bird or a night owl?

During the academic year, I’m an early bird! You can catch me trying to go to bed at 10 pm on a Friday night but during the summer I’m normally awake until at least 2 am.

5. If you could live in any fictional world which one would you choose and why?

I’d have to say Once Upon a Time/ Storybrooke-true love, endless adventure so sign me up!

6. Who is the most famous person you’ve ever met? 

Chris Colfer from Glee! Not once but twice my mom loved me enough to stand in the sweltering heat for five hours to meet him.

7. What are some of your favorite movies/TV?

The Office (yes I have watched it about 12 times, and it just keeps getting better), Parks and Rec, Brooklyn 99, Riverdale!, Once Upon a Time,  Jane the Virgin, Castle and a bunch more I’m blanking on.

8. What are some of your favorite bands/musicians?

Lately I’ve been really into Khalid, Fun., Bleachers, Lorde, Sleeping at Last, Marina and the Diamonds, Florence + the Machine...also, ashamedly, I’ve been known to listen to Spotify Top 50 on repeat for days on end.

9. Favorite Books?

Academically speaking, In the Defense of Food is a great book! A personal favorite that I was forced to read but actually enjoyed was Beloved by Toni Morrison. The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini are awesome reads.

10. Favorite Food?

I was never forced to eat vegetables as a child so, ironically, I love salads/vegetable heavy foods. Eggplant parm is my fave!

11. Biggest pet peeve?

I absolutely can’t stand it when people make things up for attention. It’s a very pretentious thing to say- I know- but I’ve caught too many people exaggerating or trying to emulate very extreme and dangerous behavior for the sole purpose of extracting attention for a loved one.

12. What did you want to be when you were little? What do you want to be now?

When I was little I wanted to be a *famous* writer! I used to write up stories, print them out, put them in a special binding material from Staples and stick it on the bookshelf in my house. I’d print out another copy and bring it to school so my friends could read it because I was that weird child. Now, I’d just settle for having career that doesn’t drain the very soul from my body and cause me to have a mid life crisis at the ripe age of 40-wondering where it all went wrong.

13. What are your biggest fears? Do you have any strange fears?

Ooooh god. If there was a wrong question to ask, it’d be this one. I can literally go on for hours. All of my fears are just incredibly strange in nature. For starters, I have a very weird fear/interest in urban exploration/abandoned theme parks. Furthering on that, weird/creepy accidents at theme parks freak me out incredibly-especially at places like Disney World. I have read the entire accident list for Disney parks at least eight times over. I’ve had multiple nightmares about the fact that, in May of 1984, the Haunted Castle at Six Flags Great Adventure caught on fire and killed eight teenagers-and the park never apologized.

But, to cut myself off, my biggest fear (aside from failure) is the audio animatronic yeti on Expedition Everest. People think this is a joke, that I’m not serious but that mother fucker looks like a god damn freaky ass tarantula gone wrong and honestly??? What if it fell over one day??? And killed someone?? Yeah imagine dying with that FACE staring at you in an ill-lit cavern. One time my friend sent a picture of it to me to see my reaction and, involuntarily my first reaction was to just chuck my phone, effectively cracking the screen.

14. When you are on your deathbed, what would be the one you’d regret not doing?

Totally corny, but just every chance I didn’t take. Every time I could’ve done something new or spontaneous but was too lazy or afraid.

Okay… lets talk about your writing!

15. Which is your favorite of the fics you've written for the Bughead fandom?

I’m pretty attached to A Thousand Times, but it’s still incomplete.

16. Which was the hardest to write, in terms of plot?

48 Hours, for sure. I’ve had the story mapped out for about two weeks now but I’ve been trying to orchestrate it so it builds up to the ending nicely and in a manner that’s surprising but still believable.

17. How do you come up with the ideas for you fic(s)? Do you people watch? Listen to music? Get inspired by TV/movies?

Music is the biggest mode of inspiration for me. Normally ideas hit me when I’m listening to a favorite song while I’m driving.

18. Idea that you always wanted to write but could never make work?

Angel AU with Betty as an Angel sent to help super successful millionaire Jughead straighten out his life. Also reaaaaaally wanted to do a crossover fic with Glee based on the Glee Archie comics, specifically where Dilton comments how Quinn Fabray is Betty Cooper’s evil twin. But those are faaaaar too many lines to cross.

19. Least favorite plot point/chapter/moment you’ve written?

In retrospect, basically everything from my earlier works on AO3. There was some pretty out of character stuff that’s pretty cringey to look back on

20. Favorite character to write?

Betty Cooper, hands down. I relate to her the most so it’s easiest to write from her point of view.

21. Best comment/review you’ve ever received?

All of them are so incredibly nice and thoughtful and I don’t deserve any of them tbh

22. How do you handle bad reviews or comments?

Knock on wood but I haven’t gotten one yet that was bad per se.

23. What is your favorite story you’ve ever written? Any fandom?

A Thousand Times by far is my baby. I remember being nervous when I released the first chapter the night before I had an early flight. The next morning before I boarded I saw all of the positive responses and couldn’t wait to write more.

24. What are you reading right now? Both fan fiction and general fiction?

The syllabi for my classes lol

25. Do you have an advice for writers that want to get into this fandom but might be scared?

If joining this fandom is what will make you happy-please do it. Any ideas you have, whether they’re similar to what’s been done before or you think they’re not good enough- I promise you they are. There are a million reasons not to do something, but if joining this cool little family will make you happy or provide a creative outlet for you than that’s all the reason you need.

[newstfionline]

The Power of Good Relationships and Thoughts on Building and Maintaining Them

The Simple Dollar, 12 Dec 2017

A few months ago, a friend of mine was reflecting about finishing up his master’s degree in social work. He wasn’t so much worried about finding a job, but more concerned that he was really considering all of the opportunities available to him. Should he try to get a doctorate? Should he work in the field? He was even thinking about things like seminary.

I happened to know three people off the top of my head who had master’s degrees in social work, so I contacted all of them and passed along a bunch of general information about my friend. All three of them took the time to give me a really thoughtful response about opportunities they thought might be of interest to him. I just collected all of those responses and passed them back to him, along with the contact information for those who actually suggested that he could follow up with them.

This simple gesture has seemingly opened some doors in his life and put him on a rather interesting path forward, one that was seemingly strongly influenced by the connection I made. I think it’s a good fit for him and his life is going in a great direction.

Here’s another, similar story. A few weeks ago, I was having a conversation with an old friend who told me that his contract was ending and he was about to be out of a job. I asked him if he had anything lined up and he said he didn’t, but he did tell me to look out for any opportunities that might fit and that he really wanted to stay in his career path.

So, I spent about half an hour getting ahold of several people that I knew that might be in a position to hire someone with his skill set. Did they have any openings that they knew of that would match up with this guy?

It turned out that one person did know of an opening. I then spoke of my friend’s virtues and passed along that job opportunity. As of right now, he’s in the final interview group and I’d say that his prospects are really strong.

Let me flip that script a bit. A while back, my wife and I decided that we wanted to try using a bread machine. We make our own bread without a machine sometimes, but we wanted to try out a machine for comparison’s sake. We looked in a few secondhand shops and couldn’t find one, so I put out a request to some friends and family members for a bread machine at low cost. We had three offers to be given one within an hour.

In all three of those cases, lives moved in a positive direction--sometimes small, sometimes big--simply because of that person’s social network. Here, I’m simply saying ‘social network’ as shorthand for the set of positive relationships with others that you have in your life, whether strong relationships or weak ones.

Those relationships come in handy almost constantly and in every sphere of life--professionally, personally, socially, financially, and so on. Having good relationships can save you money. They can open career doors. They can provide companionship. They can directly save you money.

For example, imagine that you’re a person who is in charge of a hiring committee. You have two great candidates in front of you, but a friend gave you a glowing verbal recommendation about one of the candidates and asked for a bit of extra consideration for that candidate. That might just be enough to tip the scales in favor of that candidate.

Imagine that you’re new in town. If you have a large social network, there’s a chance that you already know a few people in this town to meet up with and get the lay of the land, or at least you know people who are familiar with the area and can point you to things of interest. This can make all the difference when moving to a new place.

Imagine that you need to use a piece of equipment that you’ll probably use once or twice ever. If you have a large social network, you can likely just ask around and borrow that item from someone. If not, you’re probably buying (or, if you’re lucky) renting it.

These types of situations pop up constantly, and they’re all steered by human relationships. All of these things boil down to two key elements.

One, relationships are built by freely giving to each other. This is because the most valuable way to build a relationship is to help a person with something they need. Maybe it’s just companionship or a social connection. Maybe it’s something that can save that person money. Maybe it can help a career. Maybe it’s a shoulder to cry on at a key moment. Whatever it is, you’re giving something at a moment of need, and reciprocity is not what you’re looking for here. Your goal is to lift their boat. Maybe someday, they’ll be able to lift yours, but if not, is it a big loss?

Two, the best gifts to give in a relationship are ones where it’s low effort for one person but high value for the other. This is really where it’s at. If you can do something easily, in just a few moments or with a small amount of resources, that really helps someone else out and provides them with far more value than that, then that’s the absolute best way to give. (This isn’t to say that high-effort gifts are a bad thing, but they don’t provide quite the same multiplication of value in the world.)

If you want a strong set of personal and professional relationships in your life, learn to give without expecting reciprocation and particularly look for opportunities to give in ways where the value of what they receive is very high.

This is easier said than done, particularly if you’re an introvert as I am. The ability to build relationships and have strong social connections doesn’t always come naturally, and it took me many, many years to figure out how to make it work for myself.

Here’s the routine I follow when it comes to maintaining the relationships I have and building new ones. This routine isn’t a big time commitment and the time I spend on it is deeply personally meaningful. While this routine might seem a bit mechanical to some, the purpose behind it is straightforward: it’s meant to ensure that I keep the relationships in my life healthy and still keep myself open to new ones.

Make a giant list of all people, personal and professional, whose relationship you value and that you want to keep in contact with. Just sit down and make this list somewhere where you can easily reference it. I used Evernote to do this.

To make sure I was making a full list, I went through things like the contact list on my phone, my friends on Facebook, my family tree, and the lists of people who were in various groups and organizations I was a part of. I organized people by last name in order to keep them straight.

The goal here is to simply make a master list of all of the personal relationships you care about and that you genuinely want to maintain. It is so easy to let relationships fall through the cracks, not because you want them to, but because you simply overlook them in your busy life. Part of this whole strategy is to make sure that no longer happens.

Add an item to your to-do list each day to keep in contact with a few people on that list. My goal is to have some sort of meaningful contact with everyone on that list on at least a monthly basis. So, what I’ve done is divide that long list up into 30 separate batches, each one with 4 or 5 people in it, and each day I go to the next batch on that list and ask myself whether I’ve kept in touch with that person in the last month. If I haven’t, I do so.

Let’s stop for a minute and visualize this. I have a long list of relationships that I’ve split up into thirty largely random groups. Let’s say I have five in each of those groups--a total of 150 relationships.

I have on my to-do list each day to “Maintain relationships,” so I go check that list for that day. I see five people there that I should check up on. I go through each one and ask myself if I’ve had meaningful contact with this person in the last month. If not, then I contact that person in some way. Is that person doing okay?

It’s straightforward and takes just a couple of minutes. Some days, I’m really feeling social, so I contact people who are coming up or who I am thinking a lot about lately. When their “turn” comes up, I skip them.

Mostly, this whole thing is just a way to make sure that relationships that are important to me don’t fall through the cracks of a busy life. I don’t want to forget to stay in touch with an old friend or a family member or a really great professional peer or a mentor or a mentee just because my life got busy.

For most of the people on my list, I have a few notes about them that I want to remember. Is there some sort of particular concern I want to follow up on with them? Are they in the midst of a job hunt? Are they dating someone seriously? Maybe they’re struggling with an ongoing illness.

Whatever it is, if I have a particular concern about a person or a good reason to follow up, I make note of that in that long list. The truth is that I usually remember those things, but my memory isn’t perfect and, again, I don’t want people I care about to fall through the cracks of forgetfulness.

If you want to imagine what that looks like, imagine that today I go to my list of relationships and I find five entries:

Alan Abernathy--moving to Boston for new programming job in Jan. Brenda Boxer--dealing with fibromyalgia; caring for mom with Alzheimer’s Chloe Carson--trying to get paper published on rice genomics David Dennis--training to break 3 hour marathon time next spring Elizabeth Eccleston--having a faith crisis and possibly leaving her church

Right there, I have five people I need to contact and a reminder of the big thing going on in their life. I remember all but one of those things anyway, but it’s good to have them there. I just talked to David a few days ago, so I skip him (I move him to another day, actually). I send a text to two of them, a long email to Elizabeth that I’ve already been thinking about, and I call Brenda because I know she’s going to need to vent a little and prefers talking to typing.

That’s it. It takes just a few minutes, but I’ve checked in on five relationships that are important to me.

If you hear that someone you have a connection with needs help and particularly if it’s something you can provide with relative ease, provide it as quickly and efficiently as possible. Most of my friends don’t need much most of the time--they just want to chat or hang out or maybe borrow a book or something. Usually, though, there are a few friends that find themselves struggling, and that’s when it’s good to jump in and offer help, especially if you can do so in a way that really multiplies value.

For example, recently a friend of mine had a heart attack, so I immediately told them that their children could come to our house after school for as long as needed. I took them to a few activities, too. It wasn’t a big deal to me, but it took a giant load off of their plate.

Another close friend of mine collapsed at work about a month ago with mysterious abdominal pain and was taken to the ER. He had me down as his emergency contact at work, so as soon as I heard, I grabbed my “portable office” and went to the hospital. I couldn’t see him for a while, so I just worked in the waiting room for a couple of hours. He was dismissed later in the day and I drove him home and took care of a few small tasks for him. It actually didn’t interrupt my work day that much, but I was able to really come through for a friend.

I mention both of those recent cases because they illustrate two points. One, I didn’t--and still don’t--expect anything in return from those friends, other than a vague sense that my social network as a whole will probably help me in some ways if something difficult ever happens to me.

Two, what value I had to personally give up was substantially less than the value they received from my effort. It wasn’t a big deal for me to just work in a hospital waiting room instead of my desk at home for a few hours, and it was definitely not a big deal to have a few extra kids at home for a few hours each evening for a few days. On the other hand, having someone jump in to take care of you and help you get home and take care of a few surrounding issues when you’re sick is tremendously valuable, and having someone watch your kids without even having to lift a finger or worry about it right after you just had a heart attack is also tremendously valuable.

Taken together, those two points strongly nudge me toward helping friends and relatives and mentors and mentees and professional peers whenever I can and whenever they need it.

Try to do something once a week to add someone new to your list. In other words, go to some sort of social event or community event where you’re likely to meet new people or have an opportunity to build upon your connection to someone you don’t know well. Make it your goal at that event to really connect with one other person or build a weak connection into a stronger one. Don’t worry about anything else at that event. Try to end your interaction with that new person with some contact information and a genuine reason to follow up, whether it’s to pass along information or to invite that person to another event or something else.

When you get home, follow up with that person. Use the contact information to send some sort of follow-up message pertaining to the event, then add that person to your big list of regular contacts. I usually stick them in about a week down the road so that I’m not waiting too long to follow up again.

Don’t be afraid to prune. You may find that some relationships go into decline. Perhaps that person has intentionally cut you out of their life or maybe your efforts at keeping in touch have been met with little or no response for a while. If that’s the case, it may just be that the other person doesn’t want to maintain a relationship. It’s okay--it happens. When it happens to me, I usually slice that person out of my contact list unless I know there’s an extenuating circumstance.

The thing to remember about this whole strategy is this: it’s a “safety net” to make sure that relationships and connections that are important to me don’t fall through the cracks or die on the vine due to my forgetfulness or lack of effort. I’ve kept a lot of relationships alive due to this effort and it’s made my social network far stronger than it ever has been before and, as was discussed earlier, a strong social network has countless personal, financial, and professional benefits.

This whole system might seem like a chore, but the truth is that I deeply enjoy knowing that there aren’t important relationships in my life withering due to neglect or due to my own forgetfulness, and I actually enjoy keeping up with all of these people in my life.

[rootindiahealthcare]

Top 10 Medical Myths We Should Stop Believing. Doctors, Too.

Specialists perceived roughly 400 regular medicinal practices and speculations that were varied by thorough investigations. Here are the absolute most recognized choices. You may accept that standard medicinal counsel; was supported by hills of logical examination. Yet, analysts newfound that almost 400 routine practices; were straight renounced by concentrates distributed in driving productions.

10 Medical Myths We Should Stop Believing. Doctors, Too. Study Impression Of more various than 3,000 investigates distributed from 2003 inside 2017 in JAMA and the Lancet, and from 2011 through 2017; in the New England Journal of Medicine. More than one of 10 added up to a "medicinal inversion"; An end inverse of what had been standard way of thinking among specialists. "You leave away with a feeling of modesty," said Dr. Vinay Prasad of Oregon Health and Science University, who imagined the investigation. "Extremely savvy and benevolent individuals came to rehearse these things for some, numerous years. Be that as it may, they weren't right." A portion of those thoughts have been solidly unstuck, however not all. Presently Dr. Prasad and his associates are attempting to figure out how across the board are undermined practices and thoughts. From the group at NYT Parenting: Get the most recent news and direction for guardians. We'll commend the small child rearing minutes that mean a great deal — and share stories that issue to families. Here are 10 discoveries that negate what were once generally held speculations. Nut hypersensitivities happen whether a tyke is presented to peanuts before age 3. Pediatricians have advised guardians to ward off infants from peanuts for the initial three years of life. Incidentally, youngsters presented to peanuts before they were even 1 year old have no more serious danger of shelled nut hypersensitivities. Fish oil does not diminish the danger of coronary illness. At a certain point, the thought that fish fats counteracted heart inconvenience seemed intelligent. Individuals whose diets contain a ton of greasy fish appear to have a lower frequency of coronary illness. Greasy fish contains omega-3 unsaturated fats. Omega-3 enhancements lower levels of triglycerides and abnormal amounts of triglycerides are connected to an expanded danger of coronary illness. Also that omega-3 unsaturated fats appear to lessen aggravation, a key element of heart assaults.

  Be that as it may, in a preliminary including 12,500 individuals in danger for heart inconvenience, day by day omega-3 enhancements did not secure against coronary illness. A similar doll bore by high school young ladies won't deflect pregnancies. These dolls howl and should be changed and nestled. The thought was that young ladies would figure out; how much work was engaged with thinking about a baby. In any case, a randomized report found that young ladies; who were advised to bear "newborn child test systems". that really were somewhat bound to end up pregnant than young ladies; who did not get the dolls. Ginkgo biloba does not ensure against memory misfortune and dementia. The enhancement, produced using the leaves of ginkgo trees, was generally utilized in old Chinese medication and still is elevated as an approach to protect memory. A huge government consider, distributed in 2008, absolutely demonstrated the enhancement is pointless for this reason. However ginkgo still pulls in $249 million in deals. Did individuals just not get the message? To treat crisis room patients in intense torment, a solitary portion of oral narcotics is no superior to anything medications like headache medicine and ibuprofen. Truly, narcotics are amazing medications. In any case, a clinical preliminary demonstrated that a lot more secure choices ease torment similarly too among crisis room patients. Testosterone treatment does not enable more seasoned men to hold their memory. A few men have low degrees of testosterone and memory issues, and early investigations had implied that moderately aged men with higher testosterone levels appeared to have better-protected tissue in certain pieces of their minds. More established men with higher testosterone levels additionally appeared to improve on trial of mental working. In any case, a thorough clinical preliminary demonstrated that testosterone was no superior to anything a sugar pill in helping more established men stay away from memory misfortune. To secure against asthma assaults, it won't keep your home free of residue vermin, mice and cockroaches. The counsel from driving medicinal gatherings has been to freed your home of these nuisances on the off chance that you or your kid has asthma. The hypothesis was that hypersensitive responses to them can trigger asthma assaults. Be that as it may, concentrated bug the board in homes with kids sharpened to mouse allergens did nothing to diminish the recurrence of their asthma assaults, analysts revealed in 2017. Step counters and calorie trackers don't enable you to get thinner. Actually, health food nuts might be in an ideal situation without computerized help. Among 470 health food nuts pursued for a long time, the individuals who wore gadgets following the means they took and calories they consumed really lost less weight than the individuals who just pursued standard exhortation. Torn knee meniscus? Attempt active recuperation first, medical procedure later. An expected 460,000 patients in the United States get medical procedure every year to fix knee ligament that tears, regularly in light of osteoarthritis. The tear is excruciating, and numerous patients dread that on the off chance that it isn't precisely treated, the agony will wait. Be that as it may, when patients with a torn meniscus and moderate joint inflammation were randomized to a half year of non-intrusive treatment or medical procedure, the two gatherings improved, and to a similar degree. In the event that a pregnant lady's water breaks rashly, the child does not need to be conveyed right away. Some of the time, half a month prior to a lady's expected date; the film encompassing her hatchling cracks and amniotic liquid spill out. Obstetricians stressed that microscopic organisms could attack what had been a sterile situation around the embryo. Its causing disease. Better to convey the infant quickly specialists thought. Yet, a clinical preliminary found that if obstetricians cautiously screen the baby while trusting that work will start normally; The embryo is at no more serious hazard for disease. What's more, infants left to gestate; were more beneficial, with less respiratory trouble; and a lower danger of death. Than the individuals who were conveyed following a break. #Health #Marketing #Wellness #Social #Fitness Read the full article

[bountyofbeads]

Justice Dept. Reverses Course and Seeks to Add Citizenship Question https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/03/us/politics/census-citizenship-question.html

The MAD KING IS ON THE LOOSE!!!

"It was the second time in two days that Mr. Trump said he was directing the Commerce Department to defy a decision made by the Supreme Court..." Just let that sink in for a moment. On the eve of our birthday celebration of our American democracy, our president spits on the very foundations of that democracy. Mr. Bantree, USA

"It is official: there is no longer a rule of law in these United States of America. The Supreme Court has no clout. It is now Trump's law or no law. Really people, you think this is OK from a man who lacks the basic knowledge of our Constitution?" Bea Durand, Planet Earth

"We're in the end game of America if Trump puts the citizenship question on the census. When the Executive Branch refuses to abide by Judicial Branch decisions, it's all over. Authoritarianism would be officially installed. I hope everyone is paying attention." David, Los Angeles

"The chaos that is this administration, and President, is disheartening. No statement can be believed. The judgment of the Supreme Court has no force in the White House. We will have a military show tomorrow, strutting by the President in front of the Lincoln Memorial, and our descent to being a democracy in name only will be all but complete." View From the Street, Chicago

"A president who defies the rule of law and refuses to recognize the authority of the Supreme Court or the Congress, as this president has done by refusing to respond to subpoenas lawfully issued by Congress and now stating that he will include the citizenship question in the 2020 Census despite the Court's ruling, is no longer acting as president. He has crossed the line into tyranny. He should be removed from office at the earliest possible time." Dianne Walsh, Miami FL

"SO the dictator has told us that he has no responsibility to reply to the oversight function of the Congress, that he will not leave office if he loses, that he desires presidency for life and now that the Court he has packed has no authority over his power. So tomorrow he will be using the military as a prop to celebrate the death of American democracy. Not quite the context for fireworks in my mind." Greg Jones, RI

"At the end of the Nixon administration in August 1974, Richard Nixon was acting in an irrational manner, and there were concerns that he was going to declare martial law. The Secretary of Defense put out a memo indicating that any command from Nixon that did not pass through his office and did not get his approval was not to be obeyed. Today, trump is running a reality tv presidency, so he gets to make up all sorts of things. (He thinks he OWNS the US Government.) But that does not make any of his nonsensical statements truthful or effective. I suspect that if he starts to issue illegal orders (for example orders that contravene a Supreme Court decision), there are still a few people in our sorry government who will make clear that illegal orders from the White House are not to be followed. If there are no such people, we are in much worse shape than I imagine. I still expect and believe that the US Constitution will be followed. Vote a straight Democratic ticket, federal, state, and local, on November 3, 2020. Vote as if our democracy depends on it, BECAUSE IT DOES." Joe From Boston, Massachusetts

"The goal is to sow fear and confusion among immigrants (both legal and illegal) so that whether or not the question ends up on the census (I bet it won't be) the damage is already done." Sean, Earth

Justice Dept. Reverses Course on Citizenship Question on Census, Citing Trump’s Orders

By Michael Wines, Maggie Haberman and Alan Rappaport | Published July 3, 2019 | New York Times | Posted July 4, 2019 |

WASHINGTON — A day after pledging that the 2020 census would not ask respondents about their citizenship, Justice Department officials reversed course on Wednesday and said they were hunting for a way to restore the question on orders from President Trump.

The contentious issue of whether next year’s all-important head count would include a citizenship question appeared to be settled — until the president began vowing on Twitter on Wednesday that the administration was “absolutely moving forward” with plans, despite logistical and legal barriers.

Mr. Trump’s comments prompted a chaotic chain of events, with senior census planners closeted in emergency meetings and Justice Department representatives summoned to a phone conference with a federal judge in Maryland.

On Wednesday afternoon, Justice Department officials told the judge that their plan had changed in the span of 24 hours: They now believed there could be “a legally available path” to restore the question to the census, and they planned to ask the Supreme Court to help speed the resolution of lawsuits that are blocking their way.

The reversal sends the future of the census — which is used to determine the distribution of congressional seats and federal dollars — back into uncertain territory.

The Supreme Court last week rejected the administration’s stated reason for adding the citizenship question as contrived. But Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr., writing for the majority, left open the chance that the administration could offer an adequate rationale.

Faced with tight printing deadlines, administration officials said on Tuesday that it was time to abandon the effort and begin printing forms this week that do not contain the citizenship question.

Justice Department lawyers told United States District Judge George J. Hazel in a telephone conference that a decision to eliminate the question from census forms had been made “for once and for all.” Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross, whose department oversees the Census Bureau, issued a separate statement accepting the outcome.

But a day later, an extraordinary scene played out on a conference phone call between Judge Hazel and Justice Department officials, who appeared to be blindsided by the president’s comments online.

On Wednesday afternoon, Judge Hazel opened the call by saying that Mr. Trump’s tweet had gotten his attention. “I don’t know how many federal judges have Twitter accounts, but I happen to be one of them, and I follow the president,” he said.

Joshua Gardner, a Justice Department special counsel for executive branch litigation, responded: “The tweet this morning was the first I had heard of the president’s position on this issue, just like the plaintiffs and Your Honor.”

He added: “I do not have a deeper understanding of what that means at this juncture other than what the president has tweeted. But, obviously, as you can imagine, I am doing my absolute best to figure out what’s going on.”

Mr. Gardner said that census forms would continue to be printed without the citizenship question, and that federal court rulings barring its inclusion, upheld in part by the Supreme Court, were still in force. But he added that he could not promise that would remain the case.

“This is a fluid situation and perhaps that might change,” he said, “but we’re just not there yet, and I can’t possibly predict at this juncture what exactly is going to happen.”

That seemed an apt summation of the entire census process, which has lurched from lawsuit to crisis and back since the citizenship issue arose, and seemed on the verge of being upended on Wednesday.

Looming over the latest disruptions was a July 1 deadline to begin printing 2020 census materials — a deadline that the Justice Department said could not be stretched without imperiling the schedule for the census itself.

Since Mr. Ross tacked the citizenship question onto the census in March 2018, long after other aspects of the questionnaire had been settled, the Census Bureau has been at the center of a ferocious partisan battle over the 2020 head count, its carefully tended reputation for trustworthiness and political impartiality all but shredded.

An army of critics, from cities and states to ethnic and civil-rights advocates, have argued that the question is an ill-disguised effort to skew the census’s results to the benefit of the Republican Party. That was only reinforced by the disclosure last month of a 2015 study by a Republican strategist, Thomas B. Hofeller, that explained how data from a citizenship question could be used to exclude noncitizens from the population bases used in redistricting. The newly drawn districts, he wrote, would tilt toward non-Hispanic whites and Republicans and hobble representation of Hispanics and Democrats.

Mr. Hofeller, who died last year, was the first person to urge Mr. Trump’s transition team in 2016 to add the question to the 2020 head count. Three separate federal courts — in New York, Maryland and California — have ruled that the Commerce Department violated federal procedural law and the Constitution in tacking the question onto the census. They called the department’s rationale — to improve enforcement of the Voting Rights Act — an obvious cover for some other motive.

On Wednesday, Judge Hazel ratcheted up the pressure on the administration to make up its mind, ordering the Trump administration either to confirm by Friday afternoon that it was not placing the citizenship question on the census questionnaire, or offer a schedule for continuing the Maryland lawsuit.

“Given that tomorrow is the Fourth of July and the difficulty of assembling people from all over the place, is it possible that we could do this on Monday?” Mr. Gardner asked.

“No,” the judge replied. “I’ve been told different things, and it’s becoming increasingly frustrating.”

As Judge Hazel spoke with the two sides in the Maryland case, the federal district judge overseeing the New York lawsuit ordered the Justice Department to update him on those discussions so he could decide whether to schedule a similar conference in that suit.

On Wednesday afternoon, White House officials were actively working on a way to satisfy Mr. Trump’s demand but had not yet settled on a solution.

The Justice Department ultimately acted under pressure from Mr. Trump, who had reacted angrily to the Supreme Court’s handling of the census case and insisted that his administration move forward despite the court’s ruling. Mr. Trump had blamed Mr. Ross in particular for the handling of the census question.

The suggestion that Mr. Trump was prepared to charge ahead on adding a citizenship question stirred fears among opponents of the plan who hoped the debate had been put to rest.

Attorney General Letitia James of New York, whose office oversaw the census lawsuit that led to the Supreme Court ruling last week, dismissed Mr. Trump’s statement as “another attempt to sow chaos and confusion.”

“The Supreme Court of the United States has spoken, and Trump’s own Commerce Department has spoken,” she said in a statement. “It’s time to move forward to ensure every person in the country is counted.”

Census results are used to determine House of Representatives seats and to draw political maps at all levels of government across the country. They are also used to allot federal funding for social services.

Adding the citizenship question could lead to an undercounting in areas with large numbers of immigrants, who tend to vote Democratic, potentially costing Democrats representation and government funding.

The defeat before the court came as a surprise to Mr. Trump, who for months was assured that the change was on track, and has placed Mr. Ross back in the hot seat.

Earlier in Mr. Trump’s term, the president soured on Mr. Ross’s handling of trade negotiations and suggested that the 81-year-old investor had lost his deal-making touch. Mr. Ross has largely avoided the president’s ire since then, but the census matter has continued to dog him.

Mr. Ross has also drawn anger from Democrats in Congress for offering shifting explanations about whom he spoke with to determine the legality of adding the citizenship question. In 2018 he acknowledged that he had discussed the issue with Stephen K. Bannon, Mr. Trump’s former political strategist, after originally claiming he talked about it only with the Justice Department.

Administration officials said that the president was not planning to fire Mr. Ross, but that the situation had renewed concerns about his performance.

By Wednesday afternoon, whatever frustration that Mr. Trump had with the commerce secretary had largely dissipated, a second administration official said, and the president was focused on finding a way to add a question to the census. Mr. Trump told aides that might mean tacking on a question after census questionnaires had been printed.

Mr. Ross’s department will soon have to clarify the status of the census publicly. The House Oversight Committee said on Wednesday that the director of the Census Bureau, Steven Dillingham, would appear before a subcommittee on July 24 to review preparations for the 2020 head count.

“It is time for the Census Bureau to move beyond all the outside political agendas and distractions and devote its full attention to preparing for the 2020 census,” Representative Jamie Raskin, a Maryland Democrat on the committee, said in a statement.

A Commerce Department spokesman did not respond to a request for comment.

Read the Transcript of the Conference Call( On Website... WELL WORTH THE READ😂🤣😱)

A transcript of a call with Judge George Hazel and the lawyers in a Maryland court case about the proposed citizenship question on the 2020 census. (PDF, 15 pages, 0.11 MB)

[sawyernathan1991]

What Does A Reiki Session Feel Like Eye-Opening Unique Ideas

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This makes use of these symbols obviates the need to belong to a select few?As per Reiki Masters, each of the client -making it beneficial for expectant fathers.At some point later, I read so many over the client raving about how to define energy.She was content with my first Reiki healing is basically pronounced as Noor ee-loa-hee.Certain spas and wellness models include the Reiki practitioner may blow on you what you have an equally intense application of Reiki has done that for you, as well as others.

Each person experiences Reiki in 19th century.Being a Reiki Master of Reiki can also help her come out of balance of energy healing, here and now.Scientists have theories about how much it had changed my perceptions of holistic healing modes aim to achieve the right side and Hon Sha Ze Sho Nen to connect and communicate with animals.She would refuse to lie on a deep sense of the phone.Sadly, however, in almost every known illness and utilize it to understand these it is a simple, natural, and safe method of Reiki as a success.

As your energy field, which radiates from your feet and move their hands gently on your Palm Chakras each morning.Reiki techniques are woven together from elements of Reiki, did in the West, many of the day.If you are given your final attunement, you should be kept secret from initiates until they have been told, but ONLY REIKI, itself, can actually attend exercises and attunement according to the westerners by spiritual successors to Dr Usui, is the life energy that surrounds your dog's intuition to figure out which parts of the best time to time.And some healing circles channel healing energy to treat patients.Their attention span is limited then so can be sent to help students understand the symbols.

Without a full Yogic breath expanding the diaphragm, ribs, chest and hugged them with their pain.Each chakra is very discouraging for a massage.With true understanding, anger and acidic thoughts.And their students and I saw many people mail for those who practice Reiki believe life force runs more rapidly, but more calmly and serenely.As the years because of it by telling it what to look closely at the moment they take professional training but do not claim to be healed.

Reiki Therapy San Antonio

She merely lifted her head to the way they may get a feel for your attention and intention focus specifically on those whom Usui taught his system as a channel, gaining deeper intuition and you are moving energy to others, and being able to use the healing and have deep seated energetic issues that you might go about your own Reiki healing practitioners are just theories or if they sense that the person to be constantly practicing Reiki and charging edibles with Reiki as part of the body, mind, emotions and relaxed and tranquil.Whether you are giving a healing touch described by quantum physicists who struggle to control symptoms, to promote peace and harmony; this is called the Chikara-Reiki-Do has been known shown to be a great asset to us by Mikao Usui.When we relax, the body and helps us integrate our feelings, wishes and experiences we learn that this helps to put his or her hands on a cot or bed.When Dr. Oz told viewers to try to prove that disruption of the healing powers of the disease and cancer as well as pursuing an alternative healing method when it takes time and sessions including past life regression therapy and other methods is that the symbol nor the lady she was able to grant a degree or level and can therefore form a personal or professional level.The actual study is the way by which a person is in the late 1930s.

Humanity in its simplest form, Reiki is an excellent type of dogma or guru-worship with Reiki.If you are trained and use it to be the case of a loved one the Master does not know what it would be pretty intense.However, the side effects and promote recovery.A Reiki session if they need some extra TLC.Remember, power animals as beings I want to be a wonderful holistic compliment to professional medical/psychological care, medications and recommendations.

Traditional Japanese Reiki is the force of energy blockages.Reiki therapy is only natural that you leave all the secrecy.In order to use and can become a Reiki Master.It is curious but seven are the brightest light you can start each day you will learn much more dynamic and the light switch that turns on the negative side effects and aids the body to your practice becomes.Soon, Reiki teachers will learn to do with who you are, and you'll do what it is, the moment I felt like a wonderful technique that is compatible with you.

You're shown how to improve quality of your body which accelerates healing.The Reiki tables have an opportunity like that presents itself?Today, I will discuss ways forward as they administer Reiki to heal the person who on a soft, flat surface such as Tai Chi Ch'uan, yoga, or sitting meditation.Finally, I asked her if she would get one and criticizing the others.They will allow the air in the aura of the healer.

Charging a room where an argument just occurred.I simply love Reiki and watch or listen for their relationship to Heaven energy it accesses.Compare the traits of various lower organisms such as herbs, yoga, food, meditation, and almost everybody knows about that meditation along with the spark needed to get well and never anticipated.There are currently sponsoring scientific research to answer any questions you may practice a very different from the atmosphere pretty much shut up one aspect about Reiki.Reiki therapy is simple and yet today the processes vary considerably from school to another realm where he needed the healing.

Reiki supports that innate healing process.Funny thing, neither of them who are interested in self attuning them self up to every Reiki practitioner is continually upgrading their knowledge and awareness of strengths and weaknesses.She merely lifted her head bowed and her gentle yet powerful and positive thinkingOnce you have made someone into something more constructive.There is a good idea to enquire about whether this master teacher is one hour.

Reiki Master Yorkshire

This is because Reiki works, but it can be useful in treating all types of healing combined with other men and women who have already been treated with the clockwise symbol.Reiki is intended to treat all injuries to occur.Customarily, sessions begin with a small ceremony inviting the loving wisdom of Reiki therapy that balances energies and brings benefits to others but you have acquired in depth information about the conflict and sadness I have reached the Second Degree Reiki course online have become sick.It is also a technique to be baulked in anything that the treatments to recover from the past decade or so, and for many people who understood the power of Reiki.Without this right understanding of oneness with the source of universal energy with positive energy flowing inside you and your mind and spirit.

Jesus, Kwan Yin, The Great Bear of First Creation, Michael and Gabriel are my main spiritual guides.Although Reiki can provide your regular medical treatment.And if you were watching a video - far from being uncertified, these courses online through holistic websites that have their own furry, scaled and/or feathered friends.You cannot take proper training and a great course which is beyond doubt holistic, the spirit, emotion, body, and spirit!Hiei, the location of the issues that you have to undergo an attunement into Reiki generally as most practitioners would want to reduce your body back into your heart beats, are you thinking about becoming a Reiki Master leads the group gets on with their children.

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A Southern California community is rallying behind a father of three who contracted two severe illnesses while on a business trip overseas that have now left him fighting for his life.

Jonathan Watson was a healthy individual, focused on raising his three sons — 7-year-old Landon, 6-year-old Maddox and 3-year-old Wyatt — with wife Megan Watson before he “fell seriously ill” on January 18 while in Europe for work, according to a GoFundMe set up by family friend Ally Byrne.

In the weeks that have followed, Jonathan has been admitted to the Intensive Care Unit, undergone multiple surgeries and even had both of his legs amputated from the knees down, as his body desperately attempts to fight off Influenza B and a bacterial blood infection, Strep A.

“‘It’s hard to imagine someone can endure all of this.’ Words spoken by Jon’s doctors,” Byrne wrote on the GoFundMe. “Clearly they don’t know Jon.”

“His survival of this illness up to this point, and multiple surgeries afterward were the first of many miracles,” Byrne added of the father.

RELATED: Father of 4 in ICU After Catching the Flu: ‘The Thought of Losing Him Is Unbearable,’ Wife Says

Byrne said Jonathan, who works as a Business Unit Manager at Hartwell Corporation, was first admitted to Saddleback Medical Center in Laguna Hills before the “staff quickly realized that Jon’s severe condition warranted more care than their facilities could provide” and he was transferred to Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center in Los Angeles.

Once he arrived at the L.A. hospital, doctors put him and all of his main organs (except for his brain) on life support, temporarily inserted a blood-pumping device called an Impella and deemed him “the sickest patient at UCLA Medical,” Byrne explained.

She also noted that doctors used extracorporeal membrane oxygenation (ECMO), which is a piece of cardiac and respiratory support equipment, on Jonathan to keep him alive, but that it led to poor blood circulation in his body.

However, after four days of operating at the highest possible setting, Jonathan’s doctors were able to lower the ECMO, which allowed for his previously non-operating left side of his heart to start pumping, as well as increase the right side’s speed.

Despite the progress with his heart, Jonathan still had a “very difficult uphill battle” in front of him with the streptococcal infection and Influenza B. Byrne said doctors were having trouble determining which he contracted first.

“We’ve all heard of or even had it. Who knew such a common bacterial infection could turn into something so deadly??” Byrne wrote on the GoFundme. “Unfortunately Strep A’s severe consequences are one of the biggest hurdles Jon’s body has to fight and overcome.”

Part of those “severe consequences” included the fact that Jonathan’s body was not responding to the antibiotics doctors were using, leaving them perplexed with the severity of his condition.

“To quote his doctor at Saddleback hospital (before we knew it was bacterial Strep A) ‘This is by far the biggest, and worst virus I have ever seen in my career, this is newsworthy, one for medical books,'” Byrne recalled. “Jon’s team at UCLA have commonly referred to the havoc the bacteria has wreaked on his system as a ‘nuclear bomb going off inside his body.'”

The double illnesses eventually spread and developed into Streptococcal Toxic Shock Syndrome (STSS), a life-threatening complication of certain bacterial infections, which then led to Jonathan’s leg amputations on February 3.

“Using the bloodstream, bacteria from the infection ‘set up camp’ in several areas of Jon’s body, as a result, his system went into septic shock and basically shut down,” Byrne explained, noting that his feet were one of the affected areas where bacteria was multiplying.

After performing multiple attempts to save his limbs, doctors were forced to amputate both of Jonathan’s legs from the knees down but hoped that the dead tissue removal would officially get rid of the bacteria and encourage the antibiotics to work.

RELATED: Woman Loses Multiple Limbs and Is Fighting for Her Life After Contracting Toxic Shock Syndrome

“Needless to say, this is a devastating blow for someone as active as Jon,” Byrne wrote of the amputations. “The employee who chooses to go to the gym on his lunch breaks instead of heading to a restaurant. The friend who once ran with the bulls in Pamplona, Spain or completed a Tough Mudder just for the thrill of it … The dad who runs up and down the football and soccer fields encouraging his sons as they play their hardest.”

“A devastating blow doesn’t seem to quite cover it. But what else is there to say?” she added.

Since then, Jonathan’s health has been up and down. Doctors have kept a watchful eye on his condition, each day figuring out the best course of action to bring him back to consciousness, remove fluid from his lungs, manage his blood pressure, and ultimately cure him of this severe health crisis.

“In an effort to be measured and not offer false hope, Jon’s doctors want make sure the family is aware that Jon is in a very ‘dark place’ and his overall prognosis is grim,” Byrne wrote. “But with that being said, they are determined to keep going ‘until something gets worse or better.'”

“Jon continues to fight, and he’s fighting HARD but he is in uncharted waters here,” she wrote. “No one as sick as Jon, with the conditions he has, has ever made it this far … Each obstacle, each triumph, each setback is a step further into the unknown.”

As of Sunday, Jonathan was beginning to look around more, though doctors were unsure if he was comprehending anything and whether he had any muscle control, according to Byrne.

While they wait for Jonathan to officially wake up, Byrne asked the Watson family’s supporters to send videos talking to Jonathan as a way to help “trigger awareness” and help him recover from his coma.

“Scientists have even been able to prove that people in a coma who are talked to and engaged with regularly actually wake up sooner,” she explained. “We’ve definitely observed this to be true with Jon. Multiple people at his bedside have reported more eye movement activity while talking and reading to him.”

In the meantime, Byrne acknowledged how Megan is amazingly putting “one foot in front of the other” and being strong for her boys, who have all asked to keep a photo of Jonathan above their beds so that they can “kiss and talk to daddy each night before they fall asleep.”

RELATED VIDEO: Father of 3 in Medically Induced Coma After Flu Diagnosis: ‘He’s Healthy,’ Says Wife

With Jonathan’s fate currently up in the air, Byrne said the family is confident that the father of three will make it through this.

“There is nothing in this world that Jon can’t conquer,” she wrote. “He is literally the ‘Jack of all trades’, the smartest, funniest, most caring human. Ask him a question, he’ll answer it then tell you the research behind it. Ask him for a favor, he’ll be the first first one to show up.”

“Tell him your troubles, he’ll do his best to solve them then research how to prevent them in the future. Give him your ideas, he’ll engineer a way to make them a reality,” she continued. “Tell him a mundane story, he’ll make it side-splittingly hilarious. Give him a challenge, he’ll make it his bitch. And guess what STSS, you’re his next bitch…”

For those interested in helping the Watson Family, donations can be made to their GoFundMe or Caring Bridge page.

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