#wheres steph
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skz + wannabe challenge 💥💃
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My Roman Empire is how DC Comic Writers treat my batchildren.
#batman#dc comics#roman empire#protect damian wayne#protect jason todd#protect them all#ian wayne anyone#or like#when they voted to kill a literal child#or like bruce punching his children#i will die on this hill#or when writers insist there are only four robins and thats it#erase history entirely#wheres duke#wheres steph#wheres cass#wheres carrie#she counts#or like harper#why fanfic exists
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batfam meets the JL but it’s just the bat kids breaking into the watch tower during a debriefing or meeting to ask bruce the most mundane questions. they go about it like they’re interns that need to speak to the CEO during a board meeting. they walk over waving their hands and mouthing “i’m so sorry just need to ask batman something 😬” and then they lean over to bruce and ask something like “alfred wants to know if you’re gonna be home for dinner” and then they dip.
one of them started this when bruce didn’t answer their texts (it was probably tim or something) and now everyone does it.
#this or they stand at the distance preferably behind the person speaking and mouth shit at him like#‘what’s my social security number?’#‘can u pick up dog food on the way home?’#‘do u know where my birth certificate is?’#‘are we getting cass individual gifts or are we doing a family one?’#bruce pretends to find it annoying but he actually finds it kinda funny#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#bruce wayne#duke thomas#damian wayne#steph brown#cass cain#batfam#bat family#headcanon
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Concept: The Gotham Citizen app has a forum for posting candid photos of vigilantes and there’s an ongoing phenomenon where photos of Tim are impossibly gorgeous no matter the angle and photos of Dick (one of the most beautiful people in the entire world) look like when you take high-speed photos of Olympic athletes mid-sport
#you’d think it would be the other way round. but no#the day this news hits the groupchat is a day from which dickie never fully recovers#meanwhile everyone else is like oh i’m sooooo sorry there’s one single genre of photo where you don’t look like god personally carved you.#how’s it feel being NORMAL#meanwhile-meanwhile tim’s like . is that actually what i look like . and steph’s like ilu but not rly tbh#dc#droring#tim drake#dick grayson
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"justice league doesn't know batman has kids" and by some freak incident, they end up meeting them all at once, after never having one single sneaking suspicion of batman being a family guy.
you've got every batkid + justice league member in the same room, and bruce tries for a total of 6 seconds to diffuse the situation before giving up.
there's bats left right and centre making completely false claims about how their family came to be, just to stir shit. also purposely trying to ruin batman's 'stoic and mean' reputation as best as they can.
jason and steph are telling everyone that they're all bio kids, and bruce does try and correct that one (some of those kids don't even belong to him in a non-bio way!!) but not before tim pipes up and goes 'well actually it depends what you count as biological, he grew me in a lab'.
dick's taking full advantage of the JL's perception of batman being oh so impressionable in the moment, and is telling stories of his childhood + batman raising his younger siblings, making him out to be the softest guy to ever exist (completely on purpose). cass is nodding along next to him, and making sure whenever she adds a comment that she uses the word 'dad' instead of batman just for the extra domestic flare.
babs and jason are explaining how they all consider themselves bats, in a way that would make anyone believe that they're in a cult. bruce is standing amidst it all, an immovable object, with dick's arm on his shoulder, and damian huddled into his side (ALL for dramatic flare. they need the JL to know that he's. just a guy with kids).
#i've seen a lot of good posts where people talk them meeting the kids one by one#but i do enjoy this idea....#bruce wayne#batman#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#cass cain#steph brown#barbara gordon#nightwing#red hood#red robin#robin#batgirl#oracle#dc orphan#dc spoiler#jla#justice league#dc comics#dcu#dc#gothihop speaks
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dick grayson is absolutely the kind of person to have a fairly bad allergy to some food, and completely ignore it because that is his favorite food what do you mean he can't eat it?
i like the idea of him being allergic to mangos. not necessarily bad enough to warrant a hospital visit every time, but enough he suffers for his choices.
i also like the idea that the batfam have to keep eyes on this man at all times when a mango is in his vicinity.
Dick, wandering the Manor with faux casualty, mango in hand as he tries to find somewhere to eat it out of sight:
Jason, sitting in the library: "Hey, Dickie, what've you got there?"
Dick, immediately looking like a guilty dog who got caught in the trash: "...nooothing-"
Jason, snapping his book shut and sitting up: "Is that a fucking mango."
Dick, bolting: "NO?"
Jason, chasing immediately: "YOU CAN'T FUCKING EAT THOSE, GIVE IT HERE! DICK!"
Tim, sitting at the Batcomputer, working on a case:
Barbara, popping on screen: "Mango alert."
Tim, dropping everything to bolt upstairs: "RICHARD JOHN GRAYSON!"
A muffled screech is heard in the distance, followed by curses and demands of "spit that shit out NOW-"
The entire Batfam at dinner:
Dick, sneaking the mango flavored icecream over:
Damian, smacking his hand: "Richard for the love of-"
Dick, snatching the icecream and bolting: "You can't keep me from my mangos! I will never relent! MANGOS FOREVER!"
The entire family chases him down. Alfred is preparing treatment, and Bruce is sitting alone at the dining table, a few more grey hairs, and looking like he regrets everything. Muffled screams, curses, and then a loud lecture from at least three different people can be heard a few rooms over.
listen, the day he discovered his allergy was the same day he discovered his new favorite fruit, and he absolutely considers it a crime of the highest caliber to keep such a snack away from him.
#batman#tim drake#jason todd#damian wayne#dcu#red hood#red robin#robin#batfam#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#duke thomas#spoiler#as in steph is spoiler#signal dc#bruce wayne#dick grayson#nightwing#dicks love for mangos only grows when he's told he can't have them#everyone is so very done with him#it's not bad enough to kill him at least?#he uses his acrobatic skills to hide where he can eat it in peace#this is when they call in cass and duke to rein him in
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Part 12 and the second and final part of the Bats&Birds Q&A! Thank you again to everyone who submitted questions, I really had a blast with this!
Prev ~ Beginning ~ Next
#twitter au#bruce does actually have a canon dislike for rock music lol#also dicks one heavy metal song is the last remnant of his teenage rebellion where he exclusively listened to music b hated#(his taste ended up rubbing off on Jason which Bruce had very mixed feelings on lmao)#dc#social media au#bruce wayne#batman#richard grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#the red hood#dc red hood#tim drake#Timothy drake#tim drake wayne#dc red robin#red robin dc#red robin#steph brown#stephanie brown#robin dc#incorrect batfamily quotes#dick grayson#damian wayne#damian wayne al ghul#damian al ghul#kon el kent#kon el superboy
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Dick and Tim would be REALLY good on reality tv,,, they're both charismatic (please do not forget that Tim makes friends/allies easily just like Dick can), handsome, CLEVER, and know how to play to a persona. i think they'd go on shows for fun and to de-stress. like one too many things piss them off in their daily lives and they could pretty much get a vacation from it just to go on these shows. no one in the family can talk to them and they get to annoy people, crack jokes, and get fun puzzles in the form of a literal puzzle or figuring out social dynamics of the other players.
sometimes they go on shows by themselves but mostly use it as a brotherly bonding activity. if it's a show where they can be a duo they're GOING to do it. and they're going in to play to a storyline, not to win. they don't need the money, they don't need the publicity, they just want to have fun. sometimes if they figure out that everyone on the show sucks and they get competitive, they'll win. but mostly their goal is "how can we make the funniest plot line look the most natural." or something like that. i know a producer LOVES to see them coming. i bet EVERYONE tunes in when they're on a show because they're fucking hilarious even if half of what they say are inside jokes. the rest of the family watches and they KNOW what those shits are pulling, they have betting pools where they guess what the two are gonna do next, they're the FIRST to make memes for both internet and for the family group chats.
one time they convinced Bruce to go (it's been many a years since he really had to play up the Brucie role, cause he's a dad now and the older he gets the more people expect him to mellow out, and even back when he was full Brucie, reality TV wasn't his thing). it was one of those survival based shows where you come is as a team and try to win together. Bruce got lost in the woods after going on a hike. The camera men literally lost him and Tim and Dick were playing it up for the camera. Dick cried and invited the other teams to a funeral. Tim had a speech that was basically "I think he's fine but this is my perfect opportunity to embarrass my dad with stories." The producers were like "we fucking killed Bruce Wayne oh my fucking god" and Bruce shows up at the funeral like "oh what a beautiful service my boys are so great." They won by pure luck and circumstances and they were actively TRYING to lose that game. They were gobsmacked at the end and everyone uses the moment they looked at each other in confusion and shock as reaction gifs
#their fans make edits and it genuinely haunts the rest of family if they get them on their fyp#tho if steph gets an edit of tim she sends it to all of tim's friends#erinwantstowrite#tim drake#dick grayson#bruce wayne#reality tv#i'd write this fic for fun because im weirdly fixated with shows like this#i'd also love to write an au where at least one of them is an actor#on a really dramatic show#i think i need more fics exploring the Wayne side of their lives#for the funsies
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They're the best of each other!
#Something that was meant to be just a quick little drawing of Pete and Steph#I really havent drawn them all that much#and i wanted to work on my steph design#I have a ton of art in my drafts that I have yet to post#so i'm just posting these while I work on more pulp art#idk i thought this was cute#Oh guess what- i got a new facts book#so i'm gonna start doing the fun facts again!#fun fact: squirrels can climb trees faster than they can run on the ground#there are so many squirrels where I live and just about everytime I'm driving in my neighborhood I get scared I'll hit one#the little shits just really love sitting in the middle of the road until the last second smh#hatchetfield#starkid#team starkid#nerdy prudes must die#npmd#starkid npmd#steph lauter#stephanie lauter#mariah rose faith#mariah rose faith casillas#pete spankoffski#peter spankoffski#joey richter#my art#lautski
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I’m just gonna say this, the main reason people don’t like Damian Wayne as a character is the same reason people didn’t like Jason Todd back in the 80s
People don’t like either of them because their favorite Robin (Tim Drake and Dick Grayson) got replaced by them.
Damian and Jason are both really interesting and complex character, objectively more complex than both Tim and Dick, but some people (cough, obnoxious Tim fans, cough, and Dick fans who over sexualize him, cough) don’t see that and just want their little blorbos to never grow into their own character apart from Batman.
#damian wayne#jason todd#tim drake#dick grayson#batfam#this isn’t#anti tim drake#or#anti dick grayson#it’s anti annoying fans who don’t appreciate other characters#or change their favorite characters to the point where they’re unrecognizable from their canon selves#Tim is not some shy innocent insecure little baby#dick isnt some happy go lucky person with sun shining out of his ass#Damian is literally a child with a horrible upbringing#yet certain Tim fans completely villainize him#Jason is shit in canon#but most of his worst actions towards tim were horrible out of character#Jason is written too inconsistently#and not to mention#Duke Steph and Cass go completely forgotten because of this
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Prompt in Memes 4
Another prompt, but in memes because trying to gather my thoughts is hard sometimes lol.
#prompts#memes#batman au#batman#cryptid batman#cryptid batfam#cryptid batfamily#batfamily#batfam prompts#batfam#Bruce: This surely will be fine :)#Dick: Gotham made me like they made B :)#League: the what did what now#Barbara: I formed from his tech & could get away with all your murders :)#Jason: I am the embodiment of Crime Alley and Retribution :)#Cass: I am Gotham's shadow :)#Tim: Oh I'm a child :)#The league: Oh thank fuck a normal child-#Tim: Well at least my body is a child but TECHNICALLY-#Steph: I'm his twin and the other side of his Chaos :)#Duke: Hi I'm the Bat Signal :)#Damian: I am the blood son#The League: Oh gods he means that literally doesn't he like some sort of creature made entirely from blood-#Bruce: I am not sure why I expected this Not to escalate but it's too far to go back now#Why yes they can all fit in his cape even when they become older and no one knows how or why#If they even age I mean Gotham could just be Like that where people sometimes stop aging#Kind of like what's going on in Fawcett just more goth#meme
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kinda getting into the idea of a reverse Robins AU where it isn't just the second Robin that dies, it's always Jason.
Damian is first - Bruce's actual son, who goes from Talia's training to peak angst Bruce and then escapes to become Nightwing, who grows up confident and smiles because why wouldn't he?
Then comes Steph, barely Robin for a year, only there because she needs support and the second Robin always brings out Bruce's optimism. She fakes her death but it's found out and she's okay, really, and she's on to Spoiler
Then Tim, who obsessively watched Damian and went so far as to date Steph to get closer, who Bruce adores, because he's two Robins in and he's soft now, and he's chatty and snarky and the darling of the League and he goes on to be Red Robin and everyone knows he's one of the most skilled fighters in the world
And then it's Jason. Jason, who's the fourth Robin, who's whole entire role is to be loved by everyone, because everyone knows Robin by now and Robin is always safe. and then he dies. he becomes Red Hood at 17, three years after he dies
And Bruce swears not to take another Robin, except Tim begs him to go to the circus, and when Bruce sees a black haired boy see his parents die, he doesn't have a choice. he's the most careful around Dick, so Dick grows up wary and quieter, because he's not just the baby of the family, he's the one who feels the aftershocks of Jason. no one is around.
Barbara is 14 when she gets shot, only Batgirl for two years, and she's given all the responsibility of Oracle a year later, because she has to. she saw Jason's death air on the news, she knows what'll happen to Dick if she can't help.
#idk it's late#i see a lot of posts and fics where Tim dies#or Steph if she's second#and i love them#but to be Jason is specifically cursed#*to me#ugh god tagging#Dick Grayson#Jason Todd#Tim Drake#Stephanie Brown#Damian Wayne#Bruce Wayne#reverse robins au
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(ID in alt) I MADE THIS LAST MONTH AND COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO POST IT TIL NOW. I was knee-deep in Buffy the vampire slayer when I made this. Damian's favourite character is Spike I think
#dc comics#dc#damian wayne#stephanie brown#one day I'll draw something that isn't one of these two#anyway ik in yj98 they have the parody tv show 'wendy the werewolf slayer'#that I'm 90% sure Steph has a poster of in the issue where she fights secret#but also (and i couldn't tell you where to save my life) I'm 90% sure there's some coy reference to buffy in DC canon#which leads me to determine that wendy the werewolf slayer is eithet an in-universe knock-off of buffy OR the other way around#either way i think Steph likes both#her favorite is very obviously the titular slayer but she is also partial to Oz#she used to have a big crush on xander (likes lame nerdy boys)#before revisiting the show as an adult and wondering if that's when her self esteem issues w boys started#anyway this was just meant to be comic practice. not really where i want it to be rn but hey! we persist!#no drawing is wasted
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It's Just a game, Right? Pt 7
Masterpost
It's just a game, right?
Tim turns his head at the soft their of a grappling hook, and a moment later Steph has joined him on the roof of the building.
"Not much happening tonight, huh?"
"Yeah, I guess," Tim responds as he watches traffic pass on the street below. She is right; the night so far has been unusually calm. It's a distinct contrast to last week- it seemed like every night some big villain was pulling out some ridiculous plan or other, but somehow they had all been stopped without serious harm. Of course, there are still plenty of rogues still scurrying around Gotham but there's no murmurs of anything coming from any of the big hitters for the moment.
"You don't sound very sure about that," Steph says, stepping up beside Tim and elbowing him lightly.
"Yeah," Tim answers. A flashy silver car cuts someone off and the resultant horn echoes harshly.
"Okay, you're being weird. What's up?"
Tim shrugs.
"Guess I'm just used to emergencies," Tim shrugs. He knows Steph wouldn't be weird about him bringing up Bernard, but he really doesn't need any of his fellow bats thinking he's compromised or overstressed. God knows he doesn't need anyone else pestering him about getting enough sleep, like he's staying up on purpose.
"Okay..." Steph trails off. "I mean I guess it has been pretty hectic for a while. Takes a bit of time to come down from all that?"
Tim is saved from having to respond by the sound of Oracle cutting into comms.
"Red Robin, Spoiler, looks like a store robbery in progress and you're the closest. Head for the intersection of 25th and Oak."
"Got it," Tim answers and doesn't wait for Steph's response, already halfway through the motion of taking off for the next building.
Pretty soon they're both dropping in on a pair of goons. One of them is aiming their gun directly at a frazzled-looking employee, who doesn't seem interested in putting up a fight.
Two-on-two makes it an incredibly easy fight though, and it's almost over before it begins, with both of them able to sneak up on the distracted thugs as the cashier hurriedly pulls money out of the cash register. Once they're both in position, it's easy enough to grapple, disarm, and restrain them in a flurry of movement, and the criminals never get a chance to even process the arrival of the bats.
"Not today, I think," Steph says as she handcuffs her guy. "Threatening people with guns is a real dick move, y'know?" Tim gets his guy handcuffed and turns to the startled employee.
"Cops on the way yet?" He gets a frantic nod, and Tim surveys the shop as he waits for the sirens. They'll bounce just before the cops get here, but until then, he wants to look around for any signs of something bigger. The two would-be thieves seem too shocked and terrified at the appearance of bats to be proper goons, but they could still be bait, or a distraction of some kind. And the shop itself could theoretically have been targeted. But by the time the sirens are closing in outside, he's not spotted signs of anything sinister.
"Right, the police are almost here, so we're gonna bounce!" Steph announces as Tim walks back towards her. "Tell your boss I said he should give you hazard pay for the night, 'kay?" and then she bounces out the same way they came in. Tim nods once at the employee and then follows.
He changes directions once he's on the rooftops again, though. His phone had buzzed about six times in a row while they were waiting, and that means it's probably Bernard. And he really doesn't want to explain the arg thing to anyone yet.
Once he's far enough away from anyone, he pulls his phone out, and sure enough, he's got six text messages from Bernard.
Dude
Babe, holy shit
Like seriously
This is fucking crazy
Like I cannot believe they replied to us
Us!!!
Attached to the series of texts is a screenshot, and Tim feels the anxiety coalesce into something abruptly solid in his chest.
At first glance, he can't tell what language it's supposed to be. It looks like it might be Romantic in origin, but a couple spellings look almost Slavic in nature, and there's only two and a half lines, which really isn't much to go off of.
It's certainly an interesting development, to say the least. He should be excited. This is a new clue for the mystery, after all.
No way! Tim sends back.
Yeah! U busy? Comes the immediate response. And like, technically the answer is yes, Tim supposed. But Steph literally just pointed out how calm things are tonight, and he can already tell he won't be able to focus, with this news.
"Um," Tim clicks on his comm. "I think I'm gonna call it for tonight."
"Something wrong?" Bruce asks immediately, all gruff-batman-voice.
"No, just- it's slow tonight, and Bernard wants my help with something so I thought, um. If you want me to finish my patrol, I can." He can't help it. Even now, he always kind of feels like he isn't doing enough to be a good vigilante.
"Nah, kid. I think we'll be fine without you." Hood answers, unsurprisingly.
"You're sure?"
"Yeah go make out with your boyfriend or whatever."
Tim smiles at Hood's usual ribbing. He's almost gotten used to it; mostly he can keep himself from blushing too violently when anyone teases him about Bernard.
"Okay. I'll make sure to get my report submitted by eight, promise." Tim is already en route to the nearest safehouse where he can change out of the suit, when he remembers he hasn't responded to Bernard yet.
Heading home rn. My place or yours? He hits send and then takes off once more. Excited to see his boyfriend, and determined to work through the newest puzzle.
#dp x dc#the one where the amity parkers make an arg#its... actually very interesting trying to write a tim who's caught between excitement bc riddle and anxiety bc *riddle*#im definitely gonna have to go through and do some serious editing before i start posting this one to ao3#but for now im just having so much fun playing in the sandbox and figuring out what i like :3#also what even is Steph's voice fr#i tried to make her kind of flippant and sassy while still being pretty compassionate and like. in tune with Normal People?
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Honestly think it'd be hilarious if people brought the same energy they use on hating Dick for "giving robin to Damian" to the actual person who made Damian robin you know this motherfucker
#dc#alfred pennyworth#the bastard#dc comics#damian wayne#robin#dick grayson#batman#100% stole the pic from your post steph cause im lazy hope you dont mind#but yeah wheres the outrage at al here#wheres the hate#would love to see more spite fics directed at alfred#i need a alfred threw tim in Arkham fic pronto#(sidenote tho actually think alfred and damians relationship is so underated they get over shadowed alot by dick and damian)#(which fair but my man al always looks out for damian and the way damian gets blamed for his death )#(heart breaking)
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I just had a passing thought about my own stuff from an outsider POV. I wondered if anyone who’s not a huge fan of dick questions why Dick Grayson in most of the stuff I post…
Why all of a sudden Dick Grayson is the bus driver- because I hired him!!! I want to see him! I’m gonna put him in everything!
#you know that one image of shadow saying don’t trust your brain after 9 pm? I get a lot of weird thoughts it’s like im under attack through#self created scenarios but this one got dismissed real quick by how raw and selfish my desire to put my fav in everything#anyways idk why I’m posting this. dick and Damian. dick and cass. dick and Tim. doesn’t the timeline make a lot of sense#oh yeah. I’m going to read Robin jason comics soon so maybe there will be more jason stuff coming. so far everything I’ve been reading with#jason in it are nightwing comics (shrugs)#so he’s basically already grown… and edgy. lol#except for a few comics where he’s baby#I also need to read Steph’s more stuff. being an adult is not great man. you don’t have time to do anything. a bit overrated#except having money part. I like having money
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