#where they're learning each other as romantic partners after being friends

[joyful-soul-collector]

I've seen a lot of people talking about how Barbie talks about how the patriarchy affects women and how well it does that, so I wanna talk about how Barbie talks about how the patriarchy affects men and how well it does that. Because it does that really well tbh.

At the beginning of the movie, it's made very clear that the Kens are constantly competing with each other, and trying to prove their worth, their Ken-ness, to both the Barbies, and more importantly, to the other Kens. In fact, multiple times through the movie it's shown that Ken seems to find the opinions of other Kens as a motivator for him to do things. He tries to show off to Barbie only after he sees the other Kens saying hi to her. He only starts dancing with Barbie when he sees the other Kens dancing with her. He only goes with her to the Real World after another Ken accuses him of cowardice and he decides to prove him wrong. Barbie says "Ken's not cool!" and Ken responds "He is to me."

This shows so damn well what the patriarchy is like for men. Because for the Kens it's not necessarily about Barbie, it's about what other Kens think of you. Being a man you are constantly, incessantly trying so damn hard to prove to the other men around you that you are a man, the manliest man to ever man, the best Ken to ever Ken. Literally doing backflips trying to prove yourself. And this is before patriarchy is even officially introduced to the story, there's no undertone of power yet, this is just what it's like to be a man around other men. It's toxic masculinity.

And when the patriarchy is introduced, that's increased tenfold. At first it looks like they've banded together to take power, but really they're still competing with each other, they're just doing it differently. Rather than competing to see who can get Barbie to fall in love with them, they're competing to see who can be the manliest, have the manliest stuff, wear the manliest clothes, have the manliest house and decorations.

And then they literally go to war. War is considered one of the few places where it's socially accepted for men to be more emotional, form deep and personal bonds with other men, and that's exactly what happens in the movie. They go to war, and there's an entire song where they bond and learn not to fight with each other anymore.

And that I think is the message from the Kens. For men, the way the patriarchy affects them is it forces constant competition and animosity, even around people that are supposed to be your friends. It makes it impossible to express your feelings unless they're with a romantic partner, and all of this turns you into a pent up ball of emotions with nowhere to go.

Which means that the message is: In order to fix the way the patriarchy oppresses men, men need to learn how to form close bonds with people, especially other men. Because like Barbie said to Ken, he needs to discover who he is without her. Men have learned to lean on women as a crutch, using them to figure out how to Be A Person and express emotions in a healthy way, but this can very quickly turn into a woman feeling like she needs too be his mother and teach him how to do these things. And Ken was 100% doing this, or at least he was trying to throughout the movie. Ken was so desperate for Barbie to be in love with him, not necessarily because he loved her, but because he needed a person he could just exist as himself around. Because he couldn't do that with the other Kens, the only person he could be himself around was Barbie.

And what's so great about the end of the movie is that the Kens did eventually figure out how to form close bonds with each other! They went to war, argued and fought, but by the end of the song they were holding hands, kissing each other on the cheek, telling each other they were enough. Even when Ken is up in the dreamhouse, crying and saying that he looks stupid, all the other Kens start shouting back up to him, saying that he looks cool. And Ken responds by giving one of his new friends his coat, which was clearly very important to him.

What the Kens did, that's what men in the real world need to do. They need to form close bonds with other men and stop competing with each other. Hopefully not by going to war the way the Kens did, Barbie isn't a blueprint for solving the patriarchy lol.

I'd be happy to do it through a song though.

[sissytobitch10seconds]

My suggestion for how to fix the Stolas Problem

Don't know what the Stolas Problem is? Don't worry! I'll explain it to you. The Stolas Problem is an issue that the Helluva Boss show is having in which the entire premise of the show has basically been scraped to instead focus on a character that was supposed to be a love interest only. The end of the first season and beginning of the second also majorly ret-conned him so that he is no longer a sympathetic or fun character. It transformed him from someone that was horny all the time and rather bad, but typical for what a demon in Hell should have been, to a sadistic delusion narcissitic jerk that coerced a lower being into having sex with him or else Blitz's only friends and daughter would be out on the street. It went from them using each other to Stolas coercing and raping Blitz in what's called a quid pro quo relationship. So that being said, let's get going!

Instead of having him be sad that he's not loved by Blitz, have him be oddly excited about the date and trying to figure out why his feelings are so weird, maybe through the song Stella yells at him for.

Get rid of The Circus entirely, it's unnecessary and makes the quid pro quo rape really uncomfortable because Stolas thinks they're basically dating instead of just using him back.

Get rid of Seeing Stars. We already had a "Stolas trying to love his daughter the way she needs" episode and this is just making him look far worse. If you want to show more Stolas then have him out with Via when Blitz is calling him for help with the DHORKS or something.

Make Stella an actual person and show her in the background with Via. If you want her to be abusive, make sure that none of her actions mimic Loona or Stolas or any of the other characters that are seen in the show like they currently do.

Put Western Energy at the end of S2 and put more episodes specifically just about IMP. Maybe develop Millie more as a character, have the episode where Blitz tells Loona that she needs to be nicer be a full thing where he has to try and hire other secretaries but finds that she's the only one that works for them. The show is about Blitz, the protagonist, not about Stolas the love interest.

The "He can get hurt?" is the perfect thing to perk up Blitz's love for Stolas so it should definitely be at the end.

Show more of them liking each other after the awkwardness of their first 'date' at Ozzie's. Show them cuddling in bed or laughing about something or deciding that they don't want to have sex after trying awkwardly for an episode and so they just sit and eat ice cream while bonding over a shared interest. Right now the only thing drawing these two together is the narrative.

I also think making him a serial cheater would explain the fetishization of Blitz' demonic race, by having previous partners enjoy being degraded and talk to that way. It could end up with them having a fight and that's how Stolas confesses by saying he wants to learn Blitz more than he did them because he loves him.

Have Blitz still get back with Fizz as friends but explore more of their romantic feelings to show what Blitz thinks a relationship should be except it's not what all relationships had to be because they had puppy love and not grown adult with kids love.

If you have any ideas of other things that might help make their relationship more believable or make more sense, feel free to add to this last!

[cinderella-ish]

Yuki, Kakeru, and the boyhoods they never had

So, I was talking with my partner the other day about how Kakeru and Yuki are always touching each other (one of many reasons they're the most popular non-canonical furuba pairing on Ao3). Anyway, it got me thinking-- if we don't read all this physical contact as necessarily romantic, what are some other possible explanations? An examination:

When Yuki first meets Kakeru, he immediately gets up in his face talking about his favorite Super Sentai character, then walks him out of the student council office with an arm around his neck, despite Yuki's obvious discomfort.

When Kakeru puts a hand on his shoulder soon after, he teases Yuki about his feminine features. Yuki bats his hand away and decides he already hates Kakeru.

In Kakeru's next appearance, he puts a hand on Yuki's shoulder, removing it when Yuki gives him a death glare.

When Kakeru stays behind that day to needle Yuki about Tohru, Yuki is the one to initiate touch this time. This leads to the two of them sharing a moment of vulnerability and the true beginning of their friendship. Kakeru putting his thumbs up on Yuki's shoulder is also a change to the way he's touched Yuki before - it's perhaps a bit more comfortable for Yuki, who's reacted negatively to all touch from Kakeru before this. Kakeru's communicating in his own way that he'll try and consider Yuki's needs from now on.

Next, we have the Kyoto trip, in which Yuki is still not fully comfortable with Kakeru (shown by his embarrassment when he tells Kakeru they wouldn't be friends anymore), but is starting to consider him a friend and spend time with him intentionally. We also have some sweet moments like this exchange between Haru and Kakeru, which Kakeru takes very seriously.

After this, Yuki finally learns (some of) Kakeru's backstory when he goes to help Kakeru clean up after Machi destroyed the student council office again. Yuki gets context for why Kakeru is the way that he is, learns about the successorship conflict, and then tries out some Kakeru chaos for himself. We also see Yuki initiate touch for the third time. I think this episode is where the real shift in their relationship happened. Yuki sees that there's a wisdom to Kakeru that he wasn't seeing without that context of Kakeru's oppressive childhood-- something to which Yuki can relate all too well. In a way, Kakeru's impulsiveness and sense of fun is his own way of either reclaiming or living out the childhood he didn't get to have, along with other traits like his love of Super Sentai.

And now, a brief aside.

We see pretty clearly that the other three cursed Sohma boys around Yuki's age are all pretty comfortable interacting with each other physically. Kyo will roughhouse with Haru and give Momiji noogies, Momiji will hug or lean on both Kyo and Haru. These sorts of interactions began when they were young boys, and are pretty typical of boys through adolescence. Yuki, being shut in a room with Akito or alone, didn't get to have that experience of boyhood. All his physical interactions with Kyo are negative, and his physical interactions with Momiji are neutral-ish (Momiji jumps on him at the culture festival, Yuki dabs his tears in Kisa's first episode, and Yuki scolds Momiji a handful of times). (Aside within the aside: while Haru sometimes reciprocates the affection from Momiji or rough play from Kyo, he clearly has a special way of physically interacting with Yuki in the T-shape and shirt pinch, or the stroking of his chin, etc..., and he initiates touch with Yuki much more often than with the other two, likely because he noticed that as one more thing Yuki was missing out on and wanted to include him in a way that would be comfortable for him.)

So when Kakeru tells Yuki about his childhood, and Yuki gets stuck in the storage room later that episode and has a flashback to his own terrible childhood, he's already primed to open up to Kakeru about his own childhood and to start looking at the world more like Kakeru does.

So, after that day, their friendship becomes much more physical. Yuki no longer bats away Kakeru's hand and even initiates touch more often. They roughhouse and Kakeru often puts his arm around Yuki in a gesture of affection. To me, it's a way of reclaiming those experiences they didn't get to have in their childhood-- especially the type of friendships neither of them got to form when they were younger.

[drdemonprince]

So I met a guy on a dating app. He’s also Autistic and we have a lot in common. Really hit it off and after some conversation he’s like To be honest I’m not looking for a relationship and I have someone else I really like but she’s not wanting a full on relationship either so we’re looking at ENM or maybe Poly but if that’s not your thing I understand. So I’m a bit disappointed but he’s sweet so I’m like ok let’s be friends.

Then it almost immediately gets sexual and we talk a lot about kink and fetish stuff that we seem pretty aligned with. Which is rare. We sexted a bit and it was great.

But today he told me he’s going on a date with someone. It’s actually a chick I also met off the the same app (I’m bi) but that didn’t bother me. What did bother me was that I got this instant reaction like upset that he was going on a date. It triggered something in me.

Not mad at all with him as he’s been super honest. But didn’t anticipate my own reactions.

So now I have to decide if I stop talking to him and let this go or if I try to move past it and enjoy the positive sides of our friendship.

We had tentative plans to meet in a few weeks time (we don’t live super close to each other). As a date but not a date.

Now I’m super confused about what to do. Especially as I really don’t meet many people that I vibe with and share similar “interests” with etc.

Just not entirely sure I’m built for the whole sharing thing…

Respectfully, it sounds like this dude fucking sucks ass at polyamory and doesn't know what the hell he's doing, and you're gonna get hurt.

First of all, he told you that he was poly because he is down bad for someone who doesn't want to be in a relationship with him? And so what, he's using his other dating partners as some kind of emotional or sexual stopgap?

That's objectifying and downgrading his potential future partners, including you, from the very start -- and it's setting you up to always be in the position of offering him temporary succor from the unrequited desires he has for this other person, only to be sidelined when she IS giving him a lot of attention. Sure, it's great he's being honest or whatever -- but the situation he's inviting you into is honestly disrespectful. You were disappointed to learn about this situation from the start. That feeling is an important signal! He's made it clear that he's not actually emotionally available and will NOT be consistent with you, and believes he has no reason to be.

It's also quite telling that after he established the nature of his relationship with this other person, he pivoted to getting very overtly sexual with you. This makes me wonder a lot about the woman he is pining away for, and what the terms of their relationship is according to her. (because if they're agreeing to get ENM or poly together, that's a relationship! Even if she says it's not a relationship).

Did she tell him that she cares about him but that she doesn't want to fuck him? Is she just less available than he'd like her to be, in terms of time and number of dates? What the hell is this arrangement between the two of them, how much of it was her proposal versus his idea, and where the hell do you fit in in all that?

If two people aren't fully sexually compatible and both parties want to explore sex and kink outside of their relationship to one another, that's fine; I'm living in that situation and it works great. But you have to approach prospective sexual partners with equal respect as you would your pre-existing partner (or whatever the hell she is to him, since they say they're not in a relationship?), and be clear about what you are and are not available for. It seems to me he asked you to be some kind of non-monogoamous, not-exactly-romantic-but-intimate "friends" with one another, and then tried to transition you into being a kinky sex partner once you expressed you could work with that.

I don't mean to remove your agency from this or act as if this is all something he is doing "to" you, because you expressed some interest in him and said the sexual connection is there. But... how much of this arrangement or how any of this is going has had anything to do with you or your stated preferences? Are you just going along with the flow because he seems nice and you want to see some possibilities there and for each new curveball he's throwing you, you're having to find some new way to justify it and make sense of it? What about what you want? What about your feelings? Why do you not get to determine what the relationship even is or where it is going, and he does? Because he's not getting what he wants elsewhere? That's not a good reason. That has nothing to do with you.

It makes sense to me, in light of what a mess his handling of this has been, that when you found out he was also pursuing other casual sexual partners that you felt jealous. Perhaps seeing him seeking out other non-committal, kind of formless sexual encounters with other people made you worry that you were being seen and treated by him in the same way, or that you were basically just a cog he was trying to slot into place for the time being. Or maybe you already felt on some level that you weren't given primacy in your relationship -- because this is a relationship of a kind! -- and now you have to worry about a whole other person who he has his own feelings for and agendas about altering how he relates to you.

You're not in the driver's seat in this relationship, hell you're not even really being consulted -- he's just making decisions about the various women in his life that he's trying to have meet needs for him and plugging them in and out of those roles as it suits him. The actual arrangement you all have entered into could be completely fine if all parties actively wanted it and had clarity and control over their own positions -- I'm a non-monogamous but *not* polyamorous person who dates people casually, and so i explicitly seek out others who are looking only for casual sex, that kind of stuff is fine -- but instead, this guy seems to be just making his choices up on the fly based on when he's horny, or lonely, or who is around and easy to get to.

I think you're giving a lot more latitude to him than he deserves, here. I'm not saying you need to dump him if you don't want to, if the sex seems like it could be fun you should go for it -- but on your terms. What do YOU want out of this connection? How do you see it? How much quality time, consistency, and commitment do you need? How comfortable are you with being non-monogamous and what kind of non-monogamy do you actively *want*? Do you see this guy as a friend? A casual partner (but a partner nonetheless)? A fuckbuddy?

There's a significant distance between you two, you two have been talking a lot, you call him a friend, and you call your plans to get together a "date." This is a relationship, whether he likes to admit it or not, and that comes with responsibilities to treat one another well and be honest, and to respect the other person's needs. And he doesn't seem to be showing any sense of responsibility toward the people he is in relationships with, and maybe doesn't even see them as relationships at all? He might seem nice, but the way he is navigating all of this is very selfish and instrumentalizes other people -- and so I think you should listen to that feeling you have of insecurity, because it's signalling that he's put you in a very insecure place.

Tagging in my homie @pastimperfection who always enjoys yelling about people doing poly badly

[gokulma]

I don't understand when I see posts/tweets saying they don't understand the Goku/Bulma ship, aside that the point of shipping things that aren't canon is exactly to use your imagination and creativity to explore the possibilities of how things would have turned out if they had gotten together

They mention the age difference which...isn't that much ? It's basically nothing if they're adults. And all the gobul shippers I have seen don't like them as kids, only them having a relationship years after they meet.

They say the childhood friends to lovers trope it's bad and of course people have different tastes but what i find interesting about the ship, and still makes me like it to this day, it's how different their personalities are and how they can work in a relationship

I like the idea of selfish, greedy and proud Bulma falling in love with the most innocent man she has ever meet. Someone with no Malice and not a bad thought about anyone. Suddenly she is meet with feelings of inferiority, of not being good enough for him. Having a m/f ship where a woman feels like that compared to the man it's so rare and that's what i like about them.

Suddenly, after a lot of pinning and hurt she can finally accept him as partner and being with him she can learn to be a better person. Goku in the other hand i can see him having no problem accepting his feelings. I know Goku it's not the romantic type, he won't write you love letters or confess his undying love for you under the moonlight but i also love the idea of seeing him in love with someone, suffering because of that love.

if we love each other why won't you accept me?

After they're settled i see Bulma having no problem with Goku's way of being: not being a house husband and coming and going. But always coming back home to her.

[churchstopsurgeryscars]

Hey y'all if I tried to write even a short fic regarding this ship it would take weeks so here's my Reds and Blues Polycule Chart™️

Note: Platonic refers to Queer Platonic Partners not just standard friendships.

(Separate photos of each category and headcannons under the cut. CW for some NSFW themes)

(NSFW) Tucker and Kai tried being romantic partners, but realized that they were both just in it for the sex and decided to remain friends who have sex

(NSFW) Wash and Donut have had sex a total of 3 times and each time have been when Wash was so stressed out and lonely and Donut just decided to give him a hand. They don't speak of it and act like it never happened because Wash is embarrassed.

(NSFW) Donut, Grif, and Simmons have had multiple threesomes.

Wash, Carolina and Church are not genetic siblings but they consider themselves siblings because of their bond. People outside the polycule assume Carolina and Wash are dating and it offends them every time.

Sarge sees Simmons and Lopez as his sons and would protect them at all costs.

Grif and Kai...obviously

Church and Simmons ended up getting really close when Simmons decided to defect to Blue Team in Blood Gulch. They're a pair of massive nerds and love to discuss their favorite video games and TV shows. These discussions look like arguments to an outsider but they're having a great time

Doc, Kai and Donut all separately came to Locus with the goal of helping him experience life. Doc and Locus garden together. Kai takes him to a LOT of parties. And Donut has been teaching him about self care like makeup, skincare, bubble baths and things of the like. At first Locus was super overwhelmed by it but has grown to love his dorks

Locus and Church have this dynamic of two cats sitting on opposite sides of the couch to each other. They care about each other so much but hardly interact or say a word. They have this habit of giving each other gifts by just placing it on the other's bed without a word or even a note.

Sarge and Grif used to hate each other but over time have gotten to the point where they literally cannot handle not having each other around. If they go more than a week without seeing one another they get stressed.

Carolina and Grif became QPPs after Iris when Carolina started trying to process her trauma and figure out how to relax. They have a weekly hangout with just the two of them where they get so high and play videogames together.

Donut has put in a lot of effort to learn Spanish for Lopez. He struggled with it at first, but has gotten much much better. When not with Locus, Lopez is usually with Donut because he's one of the only people who can actually understand him.

Doc and Lopez ended up trauma bonding after their experience with Omega.

Caboose, understandably, has clung to Wash as a replacement for Church. However, over the years he has learned to love and rely on Wash in a way that goes beyond treating him as a rebound for Church.

(NSFW) Sarge and Donut first got together almost immediately during Blood Gulch after Donut made some sort of sex joke and Sarge was like "bet" then suddenly it wasn't a joke. They don't keep it a secret and yet nobody seems to know they're dating.

Simmons and Grif were the most painful relationship for everyone in the polycule to witness because they denied and denied and denied their love for each other for years. It wasn't until well after everything with Temple went down when they FINALLY started dating.

(NSFW) Locus and Grif started off with Locus getting so irritated and frustrated with Grif that he just had to fuck him about it. For a while Grif kinda clung to Locus like a lost puppy until recovering from the isolation of being alone on Iris for a couple months.

Doc and Donut started off with being close friends but after living together in Valhalla they realized they saw each other as more than friends.

After Locus joins Red Team (After the end of Season 15 in this AU), him and Lopez end up bonding really fast. While Doc and Donut know some Spanish, it's not the same as speaking with someone who is fluent in it. It's also nice to have someone who is more serious to talk to after being surrounded by maniacs and idiots for so long. They are the calm at the center of the storm that is the rest of the polycule, watching it all go by together and silently holding hands.

Locus and Wash got together after Wash got shot. In this AU, he stayed with him in the hospital and helped support him through rehab. They ended up bonding over their shared traumas and experiences with war and soon realized they had a lot in common.

Church and Tucker actually started dating all the way back in Blood Gulch. It's been on again, off again, but that's mostly because Church has this bad habit of dying and being effectively reincarnated. They really don't go on a lot of dates/do romantic shit, but they are very much in love. Their idea of a good time is sitting in lawn chairs, drinking beer and bullshitting.

Caboose never dated Alpha. In fact, Alpha really only ever saw him as a friend, and not even a close one. Epsilon, however, loved Caboose so much.

Wash and Tucker have such a strange dynamic. They argue like an old married couple, almost as bad as Grif and Simmons do. And they compliment each other so well. Wash helps Tucker to stay motivated and Tucker helps Wash to calm tf down for once.

Kai and Carolina are the newest couple in the polycule. They ended up getting close due to Grif's manipulation of always coming up with excuses for them all to do things together. Their relationship at this point mainly consists of the two of them sharing each other's interests with each other. Kai has found out through Carolina that she thinks MMA is really cool and Carolina has learned that she actually really likes making kandi jewelry.

[phatcatphergus]

Hi, you reblogged me with a lore dump about Q! Tubbo and you mentioned that you'd be willing to do a character analysis? Please, I'm invested at this point

Ahhhhh omg hi! I can't believe you came back for more lol. You shall soon be a qtubbo stan like the rest of us.

I do want to preface this by saying that this is my personal lore interpretation so it's subjective. So many people have great analyses of his character, so I recommend watching a couple streams or looking at the tag for a broad scope as well!

That being said...

I think the best word to describe qtubbo is loss.

He was brought to the island having already lost parts of himself he didn't know. Through his time on the island, he lost respect, credibility, friends, family, teammates, nieces and nephews, penpals, godkids, mentors, and himself. He never had something he didn't end up losing, whether by choice or force. He loses what matters most to him, yet he continues giving his all to everyone he meets.

He came to the island with loss and no sense of who he was or where he came from, yet he spent all of his time for the benefit of others. He worked day and night so that other people wouldn't experience the loss of what he could prevent such as items or supplies. He never wanted anyone to experience what he experienced, even when they were the ones perpetuating it.

No one ever cared about him unless it was for a reason. His relationships were transactional and needed to be because who would ever care for someone with no firm sense of self or where you came from? When he couldn't provide a transaction of care, he made himself useful, he became indispensable so that even if people didn't like him for him, they could use his skills until they didn't need him anymore.

The only time he actually felt that someone cared for him, just to care about him, was Fred. Fred had no emotions, no sense of self, and no past to speak of. Fred was someone who had no reason to hate or use Tubbo because Fred was like Tubbo. Fred was the first person who could care for Tubbo because he wanted to, and not because of his use or someone's sense of responsibility.

Losing Fred meant losing the one person who cared about him without strings attached. Anyone else only cared about him because he was useful, a leader, an engineer, a neighbor, a business partner, a babysitter, someone to steal from, or just someone to poke fun at. Until Sunny.

With Sunny, Tubbo knew better than to expect her to stay with him. He learned from his past that he doesn't deserve something as wonderful as Sunny, that he can only love and wait until she is ripped away too. If he wasn't good enough to keep Fred, why on earth would he be even partially enough for Sunny.

He mourned her loss the day he got her. He knew he wasn't the best for her, he wasn't anywhere close to what Sunny deserved, but he did his best regardless and loved her more than life itself. Sunny became his tether and the only reason for him to stay alive. Sunny needed him like he needed Sunny. Sunny was the only reason he kept himself alive after Fred's funeral. Through the jeers, through the belittlement, through the disregard for his feelings, Sunny was there and provided him with enough purpose to keep going.

Fit and Pac dating made his only sense of security start to crumble. The two people he figured would stick by his side were moving along without him. They wouldn't need him in their life because they would need each other. They don't need his friendship anymore, his usefulness has worn itself out. He doesn't see them extending a hand to him as they step forward because he's too focused on the empty voids in his past where others should be.

He tries to break them up, and even if they hate him, he can rationalize that he did it for the right reasons. They may hate him but they're stuck with him, kicking and screaming by his side. Everyone tells him that he needs to find Fred, that he's projecting his romantic life onto theirs. In reality, he is too scared of leaving the island the exact way he started, with nothing to his name and no one by his side.

His character is such a battle between what he wants to do and what he feels that he needs to do. His entire run through purgatory was fighting others for eggs that weren't even his. He spends his days working on projects for other people and picking apart his failures when others can only see his success. He works tirelessly so that Sunny won't ever understand what it's like to be underestimated, beaten down, mischaracterized, and alone. Even if the world is against them, he will be in her corner to fight until his dying breath.

He loves so deeply and so purely. He tries to compensate for the lack of it that he has received after giving it away to whoever asks. He is depressed, anxious, and on alert. He has gone through trials and events with his head high and carrying the weight of others on his shoulders. He loves and he gives and continues to even when the people he gives his love to throw it to the side.

He has people in his corner, but his fear of them leaving has already made them vanish in his mind. He's a killer and a father. An engineer and a friend. A penpal and an adversary. He is loss and he is love.

[wishcamper]

a rumination on mating bonds and relationship inexperience

we were talking about mating bonds in the gc and it got me thinking about how weird it always feels to me that none of the IC are in long-term relationships before Feyre comes along. Everyone says mating bonds are rare, but it seems like EVeryone is also waiting for their mate and not even bothering with committed relationships that aren't that.

And yes I know most of Prythian was just in a lil hostage sitch with miss ma'amarantha so dating was not at the forefront. but the only semi-serious non-mate relationships we hear of are Amren and Varian which seems like a deviation from her usual behavior, cassian and tanwyn which was FIVE HUNDRED years ago, Beron and LoA which is fucked and probably political, and lucien and jesminda who he thought was his mate and then he never pursued romance again. and I guess Azriel entertained it when he was in love with Mor despite her not being his mate (as far as we know), but that's a whole deal on its own.

So I think one of three things:

people are generally not interested in long-term relationship unless they find their mate, and are content being single until that happens, if it ever does. they get emotional gratification and intimacy from friends and family and sex from casual encounters

people in the IC's age bracket are not pressed about finding long-term partnership because they're still considered in young adulthood when some people settle down but most don't

the IC DO want long term relationships but something about their family structure deters them from pursuing partners or compels them to keep their romantic life separate/private from their family, both of which strike me as odd

None of these fully make sense, but it is interesting to think about especially given the ICs relative emotionally immaturity compared to their stated age. Like none of these fools seem to know how to be in a committed relationship. No one talks about a significant breakup of any kind or lessons they've learned from past relationships.

it's weird to me that there's no lines like 'oh damn rhys bringing a girl home, the last one he brought home xyz' because it seems like he's.. never done that before. And even if light of his people-close-to-me-get-hurt love embargo, no one else has introduced someone to the family, as far as we know.

There isn't discussion or even representation of how mate relationships are different to the same person besides Feyre, who didn't grow up dreaming of a bond. No one asks Cassian if he feels weird about loving again after Tanwyn died, or if it's different to have intimate sex after centuries of casually sleeping around. No one teases each other about how they get moony or awkward or jealous in relationships.

No normal convos family and friend groups have. it's just.. blank. it's strange. for people who are supposed to be as close as can be, there's a glaring hole where they DON'T talk about their romantic lives, at least on page, outside of the fated mates. which to me means they're deliberately avoiding it or they're romantically inexperienced and there really isn't anything to tell.

it makes more sense for the archerons to not have a dating history given their culture, but they all do and they've all been ENGAGED before. i just find it hard to believe that not one of the IC had a boo of any significance besides Cassian, and it puzzles me why that's not more of a Thing.

anyway, would love to know your thoughts!

[kathrahender]

Stop with the "shoot first and ask questions later" heroes. Gimme more heroes who don't attack the villain without thinking. Heroes who want to know more things about the villain, to discover why that villain turned into a villain. Gimme heroes who are willing to give villains a second or a third chance and they actually make an effort to redeem them. Gimme heroes who don't justify the villain, but they understand them.

Stop with the "evil, cruel, emotionless and merciless" villlains. Gimme more villains who care about their henchmen. Villains who'll do anything (good or bad) for their loved ones (wife, husband, children...) Villains who care about innocent people getting hurt. Villains who can empathize with the hero. Villains who "want" to hurt the hero but not to make them suffer (They could also not want to hurt them but do it either way because the heroes are in their way. That doesn't mean they would want to shatter them). Villains who are able to recognize when they have gone too far. Villains who have a moral event horizon, a line they wouldn't cross no matter what.

Stop with the "girl who wants two boys to break up" thing. Gimme more girls who are happy of them being together. Gimme more "They're kinda hot/cute together ngl" girls. Gimme more girls who help the two boys to be each other's partner. Gimme more girls who aren't jealous of their relationship.

Stop with the "straight hero with a crush" thing. Gimme more LGBT heroes. Boys falling in love with other boys. Girls falling in love with other girls. Heroes falling in love with whoever they want, not caring about their gender. Heroes falling in love with no one because they're not interested in romance or in sex. Heroes who are trans women or trans men. Heroes who don't identify as female or male. Heroes who identify as both.

Stop with the "female love interest whose life is only centered in her relationship with the hero" thing. Gimme more independent women who doesn't want to have romantic relationships. Gimme more women who rejects the hero because they don't feel the same. Gimme more women who doesn't follow her crush everywhere because "they're in love with them".

Stop with the "villain and hero hating each other until their deaths" thing. Gimme more enemies to lovers and more enemies to friends stories. Gimme more stories where they're forced to work together. Where the villain rescues the hero because deep down they care about them getting hurt. Stories where their relationship goes from enemies to reluctant allies to frienemies to friends. Stories where the two of them accept they're similar. Where they balance each other, just like ying and yang.

Stop with the "villains dying after redeeming" trope. Gimme more villains who redeeem and live. Villains who join the heroes and have to learn to fix their past mistakes. Villains who have nightmares because of their past. Villains who apologize to the heroes for hurting them. Villains who are protective of the heroes. Villains who make the heroes understand they don't have to be "strong" all the time. Villains who help the heroes to heal their wounds, physical or emotional. Villains who decide to be compassionate with other villains because they know it isn't too late to change.

Stop with the "strong hero who doesn't cry" trope. Gimme more heroes who show their anger, their fear, their pain, their humanity. Gimme heroes who aren't afraid to cry. Heroes who actually cry. Heroes who eventually break because everything is too much. Heroes who snap in front of someone, no matter who it is (the villain/their enemy, their rival, their best friend, their lover, their parents...). Heroes who not only cry but scream or have a panic attack, because the pain is unbearable. Heroes who don't want to worry their family/friends and they break in front of the redeemed villain (because they already saw them in their lowest point).

[stuffymcstuffsworld]

A soul mate is...

"What is a soul mate?" Opera of all demons asked you. You looked up from the book you were reading to look at Opera, confused. Giving no reaction to you other than a small tilt of their head, you sighed. Placing you book down on the coffee table as you asked. "Where did you hear that?"

"Iruma called both his fri-ends that. Is that another human term?" You almost laughed as Opera carefully said that word as if still not understanding the concept of it. Leaning back in your seat, you closed your eyes for a moment.

"I'm afraid it's more complicated than friends Opera. But I suppose it would depend on ones definition of the phrase." Cracking open one eye, you spotted the demons tail swaying slightly in anticipation.

"A soul mate when it all comes down to it basically means ones other half or thirds, I guess, in iruma's case." Now opening both eyes, you stared at the tall ceiling as you thought of how to explain it. "It's not a common phrase among humans. In fact, most humans don't believe in soul mates. Much like they don't believe in demons."

Drumming your fingers along the arms of your chair, you shifted in thought. "A soul mate is some who can either be a romantic partner or a platonic attachment. But the point of them is, they make you want to be a better version of yourself. They're the reason you strive for better. They are an inspiration, a muse. You want to be the person they see you as."

Glancing back down at your book, you continued. "With a soul mate, you don't have to give excuses or reasons. They just know you. They know all the good and bad. Words don't have to be said, and if you don't tell them a secret, then that's fine. Cause they also have secrets that you won't pry from them."

You gave a wary smile up at Opera, "Truth be told, you'd do anything for your soul mate. It doesn't matter if they asked you to do good or bad as long as you knew they were safe, then you would do it. Soul mates in some people minds can take priority over all else, partners, friends, and family. It can be sweet as well as dangerous to have a soul mate."

"Dangerous?" Opera asked, sounding worried. "Oh, I wouldn't worry about those three they're kind of soul mate, isn't like that." You quickly waved off. "It's just some humans that do believe in soul mates can be very... obsessive, which can quickly escalate into scenarios where they threaten harm to either themselves or their soulmate."

"I see... and what about you?" You blinked in confusion. "What about me? Are you asking if I believe in soul mates or if I have one?" Opera gave you a serious look and only said "yes." You guak at them for a moment.

"The personal life I had before coming here doesn't matter, Opera. The only thing that matters is that Iruma is happy. And I'll have you know that most humans never meet their soul mates." You snap quickly, avoiding both questions as you grabbed your book and turned to the chapter you left off on.

Your brain buzzed now in frustration. Soul mates were a very sensitive topic to humans even if most didn't believe. It wasn't something you rattled on endlessly about unless you were certain you had met them. And well... it wasn't like stories where you saw color for the first time after meeting or could write messages to each other on your skin.

A soul mate was something that was hard to find because a soul mate was not just about finding the one. It was about self-acceptance as well. It was about being at peace with yourself and learning to let go of self-loathing. Which was why most humans couldn't find a soul mate. They preferred to be miserable than to accept that they could be wonderful without needing to be more.

[crownedtargaryen]

modern!got/hotd. - character building

(a/n): this is my own interpretation of modern!au got and hotd. if you disagree with me on some ideas, I truly do not care. this post can be used for story ideas and references for modern!au fics. if you’d like me to add a specific house, I will do so! this can be changed into a college!au as well. all notes are appreciated. tag list: @hopelesswritergall @twizzy123 @daenerysapologist @clairacassidy

The Stark family is well known for being extroverted and friendly individuals who love outdoor activities, sports, and almost anything that gets their blood pumping! They're known to show unreasonable amounts of loyalty to their passions, peers, partners, and family; sometimes being described as almost dog-like. They're proud owners of the Winterfell Wolf Sanctuary, where they teach the wolves who cannot move out into the wild to adapt to humans, their new environment, and even other animals. Each Stark is bonded to a wolf pup at age 10, raised alongside the beast and learning to love them as family and not just a pet.

main characters.

Cregan Stark, Jock: Adopted Cousin, taken in by Ned Stark. Co-Captain and proud defense player of the Iron High hockey team alongside Jacaerys. He's often been described by his peers as ambitious and family-focused, very territorial and defensive of his blood. (Demiromantic, Demisexual)

Robb Stark, Jock: Star quarterback of the Iron High football team. He's often been described by his peers as a playful and tough-loving individual. He shares his territorial sense with his cousin, Cregan, defending his name with pride while also befriending anyone, no matter how different they are from him. (Demiromantic, Demisexual)

Jon Snow, Middle-Grounded: Step-brother to the Starks, apart of the Iron High poetry club. He's often been described by his peers as mysterious and mildly-aggravating. To be honest, he dances around clubs and tries to find an after school activity that "speaks to him." He knows nothing about poetry, but he continues to go to the meetings merely to seem edgy, “deep”, and mysterious, which pisses off Aemond Targaryen. (Straight)

Brandon Stark, Nerd: Organizer of the Iron High eSports team. He's often been described by his peers as self-reserved and passionate. After losing his ability to walk, he needed to feel involved in something. He Twitch streams in his spare time, mostly practicing for tournaments with his friends on the team. He grows insecure over his loss of feeling in his legs and feel mildly pathetic, but can't bring himself to admit it. (Straight, Demisexual)

Arya Stark, Sporty: Star batter of the Iron High softball team. She’s often been described by her peers as competitive and passionate. She finds herself making small things a competition, urging to win and prove her worth to those around her. Though, underneath it all she’s struggling with romantic feelings, trying to identify her true sexuality and self. (Bicurious)

Sansa Stark, Popular: Running for student body president against Rhaena Targaryen. She’s often been described by her peers as sociable and kind. Though under her kind facade, she can be quite judgmental and catty when it comes to certain people. Definitely two faced on occasion. (Straight, Asexual)

The Targaryen family is well known for their sly and intelligent bloodline, that also ties into the Velaryon line. They’re a mix between sociable and lacking desire for social interaction with those around them, tending to go about tasks that test their smarts rather than their athletic capabilities. They’re said to start arguments that they know they can win and play games of wits to get what they please, which causes them to butt heads with the Lannisters. They can be seen as almost snake like. Each Targaryen child owns their own reptile, mostly based on personality. Their parents saw it as an outlet to keep responsibility and build emotional connections since most Targaryen children are neglected by their parents, and they can be seen as undesirable from time to time, which makes them lack friends.

main characters.

Aemond Targaryen, Mildly Popular: Though he isn’t apart of any specific activities or extracurricular activities, he can be seen with his siblings on most occasions. He’s often described by his peers as sly and cocky. People think they’re friends with him, but he truly as no interest in them and doesn’t remember their names. You can find him with Helaena, helping her with tutoring students, or with Aegon as his designated driver. He spends his time studying when not looking after his blood. When he was younger, his cousin had accidentally cut his eye while they were hunting, which had sent him into a entirely different personality, and Lucerys into disciplinary action and house arrest though the action was not intentional. (Demisexual, Demiromantic)

Aegon II Targaryen, Player Jock: Left-Wing hockey player on the Iron High hockey team. He’s often described by his peers as flirtatious and manipulative. He was hit the most by his parent’s neglectful ways, drowning himself in sexual relations and alcohol at they parties he goes to. You can often find him feeling up women at college parties, kissing on their necks and trying to get in their pants to feel some sort of relief in his life. Though, he holds terrible commitment issues and leaves the men and women he messes with immediately after getting what he needs from them. (Bisexual, Demiromantic)

Helaena Targaryen, Popular: Hosts tutoring for those who need it at Iron High. She’s often described by her peers as shy and gentle hearted. Her fascination with the outside world and aesthetics is both strange to most but can also be seen as admirable. Though she doesn’t go out of her way to talk to those around her, she seems to have accumulated an abundance of friends in the years of attending school. (Biromantic, Demisexual)

Daeron Targaryen, Social Butterfly: Though he has no true social status at Iron High due to being in the shadow of his brothers, sister, and cousins, he’s still known by quite a few. He’s often been described by her peers as exciting and adventurous. He holds deep insecurity for his lack of popularity like the rest of his family, but he continues to try to be open and exciting. He loves to go out with his sister, Helaena, during lunch and feed the small bugs pieces of fruit. (Biromantic, Asexual)

Rhaena Targaryen, Popular: Running for student body president against Sansa Stark. She’s often been described by her peers as kindhearted and easygoing. In her days of making friends, she tries to involve herself with every group without discrimination. She’s very well known for her genuine kindness and playfulness. (Straight, Demisexual)

Baela Targaryen, Sporty: Proud member of the Iron High pole vaulting and weightlifting team. She’s often been described by her peers as prideful and feisty. She is openly bisexual and close with her cousin Helaena and Arya Stark. She’s very open about herself and presents herself honestly, a powerful and passion driven young woman. (Bisexual)

Daenerys Targaryen, Popular: Distant cousin to the Targaryens, she’s well known for her beauty and kindness in competition to Cersei’s. Her peers often describe her as emotion driven and a pacifist. Wildly loved by all, but spited by some, her kindness spreads within the walls of Iron High and her aspirations drive her and others toward their future goals, attempting to motivate and befriend those around her. (Demiromantic, Demisexual)

The Velaryon family is well known for their ambition and balance in situations, enjoying the outdoors and physical activities unlike most of their cousins. They’re very kind souls, open to new things that’ll test their limits. They tend to become competitive at times, striving to please and be the best they can, though sometimes they can’t control themselves and sometimes people can get hurt. You often see them around the Stark kids, usually play wrestling with one another. Though, the Velaryon boys are products of a cheating scandal with their mother and a man named Harwin Strong, who soon ended up becoming their stepdad. Though, she holds a love for another who most speculate is Daemon Targaryen.

main characters.

Jacaerys Velaryon, Studious Jock: Co-Captain with Cregan and goalie on the Iron High hockey team. He’s often described by his peers as easygoing and loyal. A dedicated man to his work, you can often find him studying in his cousin’s study group to try to balance his grades with his sport. Though, occasionally he’s at parties trying to find a relaxation point between his schooling and constant training. That dedication makes him a ladies man, even though he’s merely kind to them and hasn’t intentionally tried to make anyone swoon. (Demiromantic, Demisexual)

Lucerys Velaryon, Extroverted Sporty: Goalie for the Iron High soccer team, he’s not very passionate about the sport he’s pursued in and is hoping to join his brother on the hockey team once the season rolls around. He’s often described by his peers as exciting and innocent. Girls tend to flock around him since he’s quite the small cutie, and he doesn’t seem to enjoy the attention too much. He’s very focused on his brother and protecting him from the other people who are eyeing him down, not understanding completely why so many girls take a liking to the two. (Straight, Demisexual)

The Lannister family are well known for their pride and riches, their children spoiled rotten and blessed with beauty as well. Though they aren’t very physically active, they make up for it with their manipulative and convincing personas. It’s known that if you challenge an Lannister to a battle of wits and cleverness, you will come out a loser. That is, unless you’re a Targaryen. It’s hard to match the passive aggressive personality of a Lannister as well as their ability to masterfully lie to those around them. Though, the Lannister children face abandonment issues and a craving for their father’s approval after their mother’s passing. So, it leaves them lashing out on those around them.

main characters.

Cersei Lannister, Popular: Not involved in many activities after she had stopped cheerleading due to suspicions of her and her brother Jaime being TOO close, she’s mostly seen painting her frustrations away in the art room during lunch. She’s often been described by her peers as two-faced and defensive. She has many friends and is well known for her beauty within the school, but no one is safe from her rumors. No matter how close you think you are to her, she will never find you desirable and will talk lowly of you at any moment. (Bicurious, Demisexual)

Jaime Lannister, Jock: Linebacker for the Iron High football team, he’s very passionate about the role he plays in this school. He’s been often described by his peers as “the good Lannister” and awfully cocky. Some people find his self confidence bothersome and distasteful, while others find it endearing. Though, he spends quite a bit of his time near his sister, which makes people raise questions on how close they REALLY are. (Bisexual with female preference.)

Tyrion Lannister, Party Animal: Much like Aegon, the drinks and women are a way to bury his deep feelings. He’s often described by his peers as witty and sly. When short guy season comes around, you’d be surprised by the amount of women that are on him. Though he tries to remain humble, as he puts it, by keeping his body count a mystery. (Straight)

[verdemoun]

okay I loved the charles timewarp au but now I’m curious. If you haven’t answered this already, how would Arthur react to seeing Mary again after 1899? I’m so curious I love your stuff sm ugh

So mary probably wouldn't have been timewarped because i love her so much I want to believe she did move on from the heartbreak of arthur dying and lived a fulfilling life doing charity work as a wealthy widow (of mr linton) and using her ability to blend into high society to become a real voice for the voiceless in the memory of arthur and other outlaws. she would've passed away peacefully of old age and was adored and remembered fondly by hundreds and a school was named after her but HYPOTHETICALLY

she just fell into a depression and after jamie finished college and found the girl of his dreams and was happy with his life she just didn't really have a purpose for being anymore and quite literally died of a broken heart somewhere around 1905**

she isn't one of the people the gang would've thought to check the obituaries for so she would've in mary fashion kept calm and figured things out all on her own

on her persons she had a fair number of coins that would later sell for six figures. like she has $10 of coins in her purse but valued as mint condition collectables she easily had a million plus dollars in todays currency so getting a place to call home was easy while she figured out what the hell was going on.

she didn't immediately connect the dots of this has something to do with the VDLs and ran into isaac by chance

i headcanon that eliza sort of happened while mary and arthur were on a break because of her father's disapproval but mary was never angry about it because she knew she had no right to be bitter over arthur seeing someone else when he didn't know if they would ever get to see each other again (and eliza and arthur were never seeing each other like they were friends before having sex but having sex was a one time thing when they were drunk. isaac was raised by co-parents not a couple from the start)

but anyway mary recognized isaac and isaac recognized mary mostly from stories even though they'd met when isaac was real young so isaac put mary in contact with eliza who then put mary in contact with arthur

in a strange way the dynamic never changed. mary had enough money to be very comfortable in modern era while arthur is still living with hosea trying to be part of isaac's life like all arthur's different versions of himself are colliding in a very distressing way because he does love mary but it's never the right time

they kind of repeat that conversation they have in saint denis where they love each other and they will always love each other but even in modern era their lives never align quite right for them to be in love they're more platonic soul mates

it's so much more satisfying for them both to acknowledge 'this will never happen but i still care about you and want to be part of your life' than trying to make a relationship work while arthur has So much going on eg. helping other people who time warp adjust, still learning modern era, being part of isaac's life while isaac is very much a troublemaker with them damn outlaw genes, missing charles in the same way he thought he missed mary

but being with mary is different like arthur loves her so much but it's still so different to how he loves charles he truly deeply loves mary as a friend she will never not mean something to him but their dynamic the fun teasing at the theatre it just works so much better as friends meanwhile he misses charles romantically he can, has and will survive without mary but without charles it's like a part of him is missing too

mary gets in touch with annabelle and bessie who a) met her in early gang days as arthur's partner and b) have the most experience as women in modern era SO much has changed being a woman in 1900s to modern era and it's so positive mary isn't just a widow anymore she can truly be whatever she wants it's mainstream for women to go to college and higher education

the ladies in the gang in a way had more liberty than high society women like mary she would go absolutely feral realizing she can dress how she wants and banish the corset. she can do whatever she wants the ceiling is only glass not concrete

she becomes a renowned cultural conservationist whether it's art or books she's so passionate about preserving history so people learn from the past and its mistakes

she is free in every sense like socially she can be what she wants she can study what she wants she can have her own bank account and she's not waiting for arthur and arthur's not waiting for her their lives are only intertangled as friends

she catches up with the gang regularly because fellow 1899 survivors are hard to come by but she is very much her own woman. more importantly she's part of the ladies of 1899 gang which is when her, bessie, annabelle, grimshaw, karen, abigail and eliza (molly is invited but rarely comes) catch up they meet for brunch to talk about girl things like the patriarchy.

[sketching-shark]

niuhou for ship opinions?

Aroace Sun Wukong truther though I am, in all honesty anon the niuhou ship is one of my favorites in the jttw fandom <3.

It's true that in Xiyouji itself we don't get a super in-depth amount of space dedicated to the details of their relationship when they were sworn brothers, but there is a real sense that they genuinely liked AND respected each other. And that's a feeling that's really increased when we see their reunion later on during the journey, when even with an absence of over 500 years and a lot of reasons for antagonism for the both of them (the Demon Bull King wants to eat Tang Sanzang & otherwise hinder Sun Wukong's journey, Sun Wukong played a major role in getting Red Boy captured by the Bodhisattva Guanyin & caused Princess Iron Fan a lot of physical pain), both spend quite a few pages dancing around whether they're going to attack the other because of their former strong bond until things irrevocably crumble. Wu Cheng'en even dedicates an entire poem to how tragic this break-up is (and how epic the resulting fight was lol).

But probably best of all for me is that this is one of those ships where both characters really get to shine through as their own individual people with rich stories. When you look at other ships involving the Monkey King (especially the tons of movies with a SWK romance) it tends to be the case where the romantic partner in question seems to revolve their entire life and personality around old Monkey in one way or another, usually with a heavy dose of "being eternally patient & forgiving no matter how much shit he gives them" and also ending with the fate of them dying so that he can be sad/having to Learn a Lesson. So yeah said "romantic partners" often feel more like hollow shells or desperate obsessives than full people.

Which to put it academically sucks major balls.

With Niuhou, however, that's not the case at all! Obviously a good chunk of Xiyouji is dedicated to Sun Wukong's character and his multitude of complexities and development, but even in the few chapters we see him the Demon Bull King really stands out as one of the yaoguai kings who had a very active life after the Mt. Huaguoshan war with heaven, doing everything from gathering wealth, allies, power, and friends to getting married and having a child that he very much loves to then having a falling out with Princess Iron Fan because he took on a concubine with Princess Jade Countenance. He's also described as being just as powerful as the Monkey King (while also being stockier), and his rage really is something that can shake the Heavens! It all makes for a very involved part of the journey, ranging from Sun Wukong and numerous gods having to go to battle against a colossal Niu Mowang to the Demon Bull King calling time-out on a preliminary fight because he wanted to go party with some of his dragon friends.

And as a final bonus this is also one of those rare ships involving the Monkey King where he's actually very obviously invested in maintaining it, from being his active and ambitious social self as a warlord to trying every which way to get what he needs from the Demon Bull King to continue the journey while still maintaining his bond with Niu Mowang. And while it does end in tragedy, you do have the delight of thee Monkey King approaching the situation like "PLEASE bestie my beautiful princess with a disorder PLEASE remember what we mean to each other!!!" And then the Demon Bull King being like "me remembering that is the only reason why I haven't killed you where you stand."

[calamari-inari]

Playing this game (without the likes) 🫶

1. enemies to lovers, best friends to lovers, lord and their knight ❤️

2. Not sure if these are tropes, but yandere lover (just not a very big fan of yandere), obsessive love (treating their partner as a possession), misogynistic attitudes or abusive power in a relationship (basically a partner defining what their partner, whether it be a woman or man, should do or behave, and the victimized partner finds it hot???)

3. Gradual mutual understanding for one another! I also learn more about the characters' personalities this way!

4. One or both partners experience withdrawal when they're being separated from each other lol. True feelings often emerge from such situations and it's adorable...

5. Multiship! So far, the only ships I really think about now are from FE3H and a few from Engage and TGAA. Here's a list of several multiships I enjoy!

FE3H (Apparently Dimitri is very shippable to me LOL)

Hubert x Ferdinand

Hubert x Edelgard

Sylvain x Felix

Sylvain x Ferdinand

Dimitri x Ferdinand

Dimitri x Felix

Dimitri x Dedue

Dimitri x Claude

Byleth x any lord

Engage

Alear x Alfred

Alear x Diamant

Diamant x Ivy

TGAA

Kazuma x Ryuunosuke

Barok x Kazuma

Barok x Herlock

6. I like both rarepairs and mainstream! Most of the rarepairs I like don't have any canon interaction, so I like to explore the "what could've been" situations.

7. Monogamy. Not much to explain here. It's just my preference lol

8. Using my favorite pair ferdibert, they are reversible, but I have a really strong preference for dom Hubert and sub Ferdinand. However!! I'm not a big fan of where Ferdinand is written or drawn very femininely. This applies to any MxM pair. I'm not against the concept of femininity in males, but when used in a stereotypical fashion, it rubs me the wrong way. Just a subtle depiction of their relationship dynamic is perfect to me! I'm alright with seeing SFW artwork of the reverse and reading said fics, but NSFW is where I draw the line

9. Thinking about the games I've played, I can think of at least one pair I like to see romantically, so yes 😂

10. Not at all important! After all, my favorite is romantic fluff 🥺 Depending on the intensity of my liking for a ship, the NSFW aspect becomes more bareable since I'm still personally embarrassed consuming such content lol. I am vanilla. Ferdibert is highkey the only one I consume NSFW for

11. A lot of my MxF and FxF pairs are platonic to me! This is likely due to my aegosexuality, which is the closest explanation I can identify with. Not everything needs to be romantic. I find close friendships very heartwarming too 🥺

12. My top favorites right now are ferdibert 🖤🧡, sylvix ❤️💙, and diminand 💙🧡!

13. My favorite pairs from fandoms that I'm not really engaging in now are:

Madeleine Cookie x Espresso Cookie (Cookie Run Kingdom)

Victor x Yuuri (Yuri on Ice)

Link x Zelda (Skyward Sword version)

Reyn x Shulk (Xenoblade Chronicles 1)

Chrom x M!Robin (Fire Emblem Awakening)

14. Domestic fluff is really cute, but the official legal bonding of two partners isn't on my "must have" list for any romantic pairing. I really love seeing creations of my favorite pairs marrying though! Gives me the tingles every time and I just feel so happy 😍

15. As someone that made OC fan kids in the past, yes that is totally fine and I love seeing other people's interpretations for the same pair (if they don't have canon children). I've even made some for ferdibert before but I never fully flushed them out lol

[smallnico]

19 por favor

this is a long one! i've put it under the cut.

19: Has your Dark Urge become particularly close to anyone romantically and/or platonically in their journey? If so, who, and what is the relationship like? If no, why not?

let me start by saying that esper is an astarion romance, but they became platonically close to all of their companions like it was their fucking job as soon as they started to be more comfortable with being vulnerable enough to love and connect with people. the only companion they never really connected with was halsin (and minthara, whose murder they were plotting from the moment she called their blood impure), but that wasn't for a lack of trying, just a very difficult-to-overcome aversion to the "we are all animals and a part of nature" paradigm he brought to the table. they still slept with him though (and broke off the romance immediately after)

so, to start, astarion. esper got close to astarion very quickly almost Because they could tell his attempts at seduction were insincere, and because he was the only person in the party who really Noticed and Understood the urge. esper is awful at self-talk and introspection, so being able to process what they were going through externally with astarion was a huge help to stabilizing them. relationship-wise, esper and astarion don't really consider themselves a Romance, but they're partners, they're learning to love themselves by loving each other, and they complement each other well. they take turns saying the most unhinged shit (astarion in the way he does, esper in the most deadpan stone-faced way possible by contrast) and making everyone else uncomfortable.

the other companions esper got closest to platonically are jaheira, lae'zel, and karlach:

esper didn't care for jaheira at first, but latched onto her after that one cutscene where she woke them up after a bhaalspawn dream and they had a real conversation. esper has a thing for people who try to kill them that they wouldn't be able to explain (but i can say that it's a dynamic that reminds them of family even if they don't remember, since they grew up in the underdark with all the chaos that entails, plus they like knowing that they have people around who can put them down if they lose control). knowing jaheira could and would help them work through the urges was huge for their dynamic. they've definitely called her mom by accident. they would not have gotten so attached to her if she weren't fundamentally a deadbeat mother. esper's got issues

lae'zel is one of the companions esper has slept with, but that's not why they're close. esper and lae'zel share that humourless pragmatism, that alienated feeling from the world around them, and enthusiasm for martial swordplay. they get each other! esper resolved to kill vlaakith the moment they realized she was using lae'zel and the only thing stopping them from joining her in the post-game crusade is competing priorities. they also find her journey from pawn to renegade h'sharlak extremely cathartic. also, yet another instance of someone trying to kill esper and that being the thing that wins them over.

karlach is one of esper's closest friends because of how hard they contrast each other. they appreciate how straightforward she is, and they take comfort in her presence in part because she's big and warm and strong, but the smell of the exhaust from her engine subconsciously reminds esper of another place where they once felt safe to escape to, gortash's workshops. they like that she finds strength in loving simple things and going apeshit, and they think based on that that they're allowed to do so as well. they're also both touchstarved as hell so one of esper's favourite places to hang out in camp is physically on top of karlach like a weighted blanket. if she asked if they wanted to hook up no strings attached they'd probably be down

esper is very protective of wyll Because they don't understand the way he thinks very much. they aren't altruistic by nature, and wyll's unyielding need to go out of his way to do good (even when doing amoral is more practical and strategic) gets on esper's nerves, in part because it makes them feel inadequate and judged, but they came to understand wyll a lot better after the dance scene. it was then that they realized he actually liked them, thought they were a good enough person, and that both of them were just sincerely not good at talking to people. there's a weird line wyll has that's triggered by the toll bridge into wyrm's rock, where if you blame the change in refugee policy on gortash, wyll says something like "well, we'll just have to drown the evildoers in their own blood", and it was so bizarre that i initially thought it was orin. but no. wyll just says that. i choose to interpret it as him trying to show support for esper's durgeisms by mirroring them. it was weird, but it made esper happy. he's even almost forgiven them for offering to kill his dad after they busted their asses to save him from the iron throne and he was still a dick about wyll's pact.

gale is a strange one for esper! the two of them are also pretty fond of each other, but not for any particular reason. they just like each other, i think. i headcanon that esper goes straight to gale anytime they have a question, just because he seems like he knows shit and they like to listen to him talk. he also helped them figure out how their own magic worked, something that meant a lot to esper's personal pride and sense of self-sufficiency. esper collects books and offloads them onto gale (and halsin) in lieu of conversation when they don't have anything to say. esper hates gods and does not understand gale's desire to become one whatsoever.

shadowheart and esper became friends through their mutual amnesia and goth half-elf isms. if you were to listen in on a conversation between the two of them you'd think they didn't like each other, but no, they just have a sibling-like bond based on mutual deadpan sarcasm and gallows humour. shadowheart is also the only one besides astarion who's allowed anywhere near esper's hair -- they bite anyone else who tries to brush it when it starts to get longer, and gods help the poor soul who tries to trim it. esper is a little disappointed that shadowheart jumped straight from shar to selûne, and thinks it's a shame that she isn't more willing to discover who she is on her own, but they don't blame her for being scared and wanting guidance. after all, they understand just as well as she does what it feels like to have no memories to guide or orient yourself with.

no real thoughts about minsc. he's jaheira's friend and he seems both nice and stupid. esper is leery of him for the same reason as they were leery of wyll to begin with, but with even more uncertainty of motive due to his general level of chaos, but as long as jaheira likes him that's good enough for esper.

[lovinglin]

ALRIGHT, gonna try posting this now while I still have the energy- so here's my break down regarding the comic I made + some stuff abt BB and my s/i's dynamic and lore :)

(It's rather lengthy so apologies in advance hahajshaj)

I see BB as someone who's rather chill when it comes to relationships. It's said in his wiki that he already dated other ppl when he was younger (+ figured out that he was aroace afterwards), so I'm guessing he already has quite the relationship experience and knows how things go.

By the time he meets + befriends my insert, they both, ofc, start off as good friends. They're both rather the same in terms of demeanor/personality (being laidback but also playful), but once my insert started slowly developing feelings for him, that's when she starts becoming more... nervous? Maybe anxious even.

The song despair (by leo) just rlly captures how hesitant and in denial she is on how she feels (at first) for him, especially after knowing Bb's past relationships and how he was aroace. She just didn't wanna make things awkward between them both too.

She's on the aroace spectrum herself, but she felt like the way she viewed the whole "wanting to be more than friends" with him to be more... romantic. And she wasn't sure if BB was gonna reciprocate as well.

Luckily (and funnily) enough, Bb does reciprocate anyway! And he's the one to "confess" so to say, because not only did he like her a lot as his friend- but also because of the emotional connection they both have as well.

Long-story short: they both care for each other a lot, and have been there thru their ups and downs, especially with Bb who was naturally caring for those he loves, including my insert. But he saw my insert past the platonic barrier because of the way she was there to comfort and reassure him during his break downs and anxiety attacks, while also asking for nothing in return. She didn't use him like his past partners did, and it made his heart melt.

Because of that, and since he was rather upfront about his emotions- he tells my insert about it and how he feels, and she confesses back too. When she asks him on how their relationship would work, that's when he introduces QPR's to her.

From there, it's an occasional learning process for my insert on how it works. Talks on what they're both okay and not okay with are very often, and one of them is in regards to the comic I did where they kiss!

Prior to that, my insert wasn't as worried about what they both did- the talks/questions she'd ask is like any other when asking for consent ("are u okay with cuddling? Holding hands? Etc.), but when it came to something like kissing, it's quiet obvious on how it definitely made her quite nervous like before.

It wasn't the same as cuddling or holding hands because... well, you could easily disclose that as platonic to the public. But kissing? That was something that was borderline romantic, and she- again- wasn't sure on how BB felt abt it or if he'd agree with it. She wasn't sure if it'll reflect well on their current relationship.

But like I've shown- Bb is pretty chill and open minded about the whole thing. He has kissed other ppl before (specifically his past partners), so this time isn't too different. It was just a lot more sweeter, I think, or maybe emotional in a way.

I like thinking he's the type to not initiate/ask for such a thing, but he wouldn't mind doing so for his partner- in which this case, for my insert. The only reason he kept asking if she wanted to kiss him at that moment in the comic is because he wanted to make her more comfortable about it, at least in a way. He wanted to reassure her that it was okay for her to ask him for something like that, and if he ever did decline it, he wouldn't be mad.

It's their relationship, and it's their business on what they do and what it means. :)