#where relationships only get that flashback and depth

[takaraphoenix]

I know once upon a time, you watched 9-1-1. Do you still keep up with it or did your interest in it die? I'm asking because I haven't seen you post or reblog anything about it recently but was curious if you've seen the news about it.

Due to the writer's strike, the break between seasons was so long, I decided to rewatch the last season first before starting the current season!

But yes, I'm still very much watching, I love that show. Rare for me to love canon pairings and I adore Bobby/Athena and Karen/Hen, so this show would have to fundamentally fuck up for me to drop it! (Still sad about Michael being written out, though I understand the IRL reasoning.)

I have seen the news about it though, or I think I know what you're referring to, at least, and I'm... already exhausted because the way I learned about it, of course, was by shippers treating this as Step One to getting their ship be canon. And I think that canon queer rep should be celebrated about being canon queer rep and not be used as stepping stones to get your non-canon ships canon. So that's, I don't know, disappointing behavior.

Can't attest to how well it was handled though because I haven't seen it yet. I hope it's actually handled. I hope there is actual... consideration. The character considering his sexuality, I mean. We so rarely get self-finding stories when it comes to queerness, too often we're just the side-characters who are already fully in their identity when they step onto our screen and considering that he has never shown any interest in men before, a retcon of "yeah no he's been bi all along" would be wild. Which, also, I hope that consideration of his sexuality leads to explicit labeling, something that's also too often hand-waved and you get to guess the sexuality by what partners a character is shown with.

So, yeah! Once I finish my rewatch, I'll get onto the current season and see how they handled it for myself and see if I like how they handled it. If I do, you can expect a delighted rant here. If I don't... well, I hope I do.

[slushycoookie]

My Husband Has a Symbiote! Pt. 2

Pt.1 - Pt.2

Relationship: Symbiote! Miguel O'Hara x AFAB! Reader

Word Count: 2.8k

Content: Smut, p in v, vaginal fingering, Miguel gets choked, Reader can't go ten minutes without being railed, MINORS DNI!

Summary: You try to have a serious conversation about the symbiote Miguel has, but it doesn't really work.

A/N: I'm having so much fun with this, don't mind me. Also, you guys really liked the first part, so here's some more!

After the most wonderful sex you had in your life, you had to get a grip.

It couldn't happen again. Having sex with an alien that your husband bonded with. You were still trying to understand why using a symbiote was the best action out of everything else. You all could try the normal way. Without taking extreme measures. Or, in your case, out-of-this-world ones. That's what you decided to do getting up this morning.

You took your time putting on clothes, your legs wobbling as you stood. You smelled the strong scent of coffee while traversing to the kitchen. Only to get a view of your husband's gorgeous back. 

“Good morning.” Miguel handed you a cup of coffee as a peace offering. As you took it, you tried not to get distracted by his hairy chest and arms. Or how his sweatpants hung low around his waist. 

“Good morning.” You smiled against your cup, “Sleep well?”

He nodded, matching your smile. “Did you?”

“Yeah.” Your eyes darted around his form. No clear view of his new symbiote. Unless he put it in a bottle. “Where is it? Or them?”

Miguel rubbed the back of his neck, “They're still here.” Just then, his new best friend appeared. Only its head, sporting your partner's signature blue and red colors. Its smile and tongue gave you flashbacks of how that was on your lower half last night. Taking exceptionally good care of you. You squeezed your thighs again to ignore the arousal.

“Pretty thing.” A weird form of greeting they uttered before disappearing.

“We should definitely talk about that. In-depth.” You settled your cup down.

Miguel did the same, standing beside you. “What's more to talk about? I told you why I got one.”

“And I understood that.” You sighed, “But that can't happen again. We should try like normal people. Go see a doctor, try more sex positions…”

He chuckled, wrapping an arm around your waist and holding you close. “We're not normal people.”

“I know.” You let out a slight laugh, “But I think it's best to-”

“Did you not enjoy last night?” 

Your heartbeat picked up. His eyes were lowered, gazing at you with an emotion you knew all too well. It didn't help that he smelled so good. Hints of ginger mixed with the fresh coffee hugged your senses. Or the way his rugged arms held you up last night while thrusting into you. “I did-”

He stole a kiss. Stopping you from regretting anything that occurred last night. You started making out in the kitchen, absorbed in the bitter coffee taste. Which somehow turned into you getting destroyed from behind. Miguel's symbiote form pressed against your back, body rutting into you. His ginormous hands covered the countertops. Little cracks formed with each thrust he took. You couldn't be upset about the destruction of your kitchen. You didn't want him to stop.

“You deserve to have our children…” That deep voice resonated in the room, causing you to shiver. 

“Don’t say that…” You whimpered, pressing your ass back against him. A territorial growl emitted from behind and he went harder. Pounding into you until you screamed his name.

Everything was a mess. 

The countertops were damaged, coffee spilled on the floor along with the broken pieces from your mugs. And a sticky, warm substance was sliding down your thighs. Miguel’s normal hand reached down and scooped up whatever was coming out. Pushing it back in to make sure it didn't go to waste. All while he kissed your head.

You couldn't even talk to him about the symbiote in the room. Whenever you tried to bring up getting rid of it, somehow you were on your back, side, bent over or on top. Taking your partner's cock like a champ. Getting full of his seed. And at the end of it, feeling completely satisfied. 

You ranted to MJ and Jess when you all went out for lunch at a café. It's been a week of Miguel using you like his own sex toy.

“All I heard is that you've been getting some.” Jess remarked while sipping on her drink. “And you're complaining about it.”

“Because he's distracting me! So I don't tell him to get rid of it!” You buried your face in your hands.

“Well…how big is it?” Mj asked, eyes wide with genuine curiosity. 

You raised a brow as your cheeks turned dark. “I shouldn't tell you that.”

“You look the way you did when you came back from your honeymoon.” Jess noticed your body practically glowing from all the sex you were having. “We gotta know how good it is.”

The table they were sitting at was rectangular in shape. Long enough for you to show them how big Miguel was with his symbiote. Which was almost half of the table. 

“Whoa.” Mj gawked at the description. “And tell me why you're complaining again.”

You rolled your eyes, “Symbiotes are dangerous! I don't want him to get obsessed with it all because of a problem I have.” You turned to Jess, “Shouldn't you be agreeing with me here? Didn't you have a symbiote?”

Jess waved you away, “No, because I'm too smart not to put myself through that.” You purse your lips as the Spider-Woman kept going. “They are dangerous, but only if they don't have a decent relationship with who they're attached to.”

“Yeah, Peter was very different when he had it.” Mj explained, twirling her drink around with a straw. “First he was energized and then snippy. He couldn’t part with it until he had a wake-up call that it was destroying our relationship. It was scary.”

That's what you were worried about. Your partner turning into someone you couldn't recognize. You weren't scared of him but for him.

“You know you can say no, right?” Jess said before getting a mischievous glint in her eye. “But you don't want to. The sex is that good, huh?”

You gasped at her accusation, “You are…absolutely right.” Your friends sympathized with you, “But we need to talk…”

You had to come up with a plan. A way so you could talk without having his cock buried inside you. You decided to visit him at HQ, trying to look as unattractive as possible with a hoodie and sweatpants. Being married to the leader of Spider Society had its perks. One of them was looking into mission distribution. You noticed the teen dream, which you called Miles, Gwen, Pavitr, Hobie, and Margo, going to report to Miguel that day. You couldn't barge in when he spoke to Peter. He'd have Mayday with him, adding more fuel to the fire. Or any reports with Ben because Miguel would get jealous and sex would ensue. A bunch of teens on the other hand was perfect.

You approached the group as they were about to make their way into his lab.

“Hey!” Miles greeted with open arms, “What brings you here?”

“Oh, I need to talk to Miguel about something.” You waved it off, not deeming it as important. 

“Trouble in paradise?” Hobie said with a smirk, causing you to shake your head.

“No, no. It's just about the symbiote. You guys think it's weird, right? That he's using it?”

“Actually,” Gwen took over, “some of our people have had success stories in using it. Like me, for example.”

You stared at the girl, surprised. “What? You had a good relationship with one of those things?”

“Yeah. It's no big deal.” Gwen shrugged it off. The entire time they were slowly making their way inside his lab. Going past his equipment in the darkness.

Pavitr jumped on her back, “She says it's no big deal. Like a boss.”

“That's Gwendy for ya.” Hobie winked at her.

“Guys, it really isn't a big deal. Symbiote relationships can be symbiotic. It depends on the person and who they connect with. It could make them better or worse.” 

Everyone blinked at Gwen's explanation. Your knowledge of her connection with the alien made you pause. Was it possible for Miguel to have a healthy relationship with the thing? Were you stressing yourself out worrying about him?

“Miguel has been getting better lately.” Miles cut in.

“Yeah, at first he was moody, but then he gave me the day off so I could play a new game that came out.” Margo added. “He never lets me take the day off for video games.”

You hummed. Sure, his mood was getting better, but they still had to talk. You didn't want to assume everything was okay until they at least spoke about it.

Inside the lab, the teens gave their report to Miguel. The entire time he stood high on his platform, nodding to everything they were saying. Once in a while, he’d glance at you, a trace of intrigue, like he wanted to talk. Or breed you before getting back to work. You couldn’t relax seeing him in his typical suit. The symbiote was still attached to him, just not present. 

“Good work.” Miguel complimented, “Now, my partner needs to speak to me about something.”

You perked up, shaking your head. “They can stay, it’s not that important-”

“I’d rather they didn’t.” His stare shot through your body. It was hard but yet filled with increasing lust. All you did was walk in the room. 

The teens walked past you, shooting apologizing looks. Hobie’s face was amused, giving a reassuring pat on the back before whispering in your ear. “Don’t rough ‘im up too much.”

Miguel called you to his platform. You made your way across, trying to devise a quick game plan as your current one backfired. You placed yourself on the other side to create as much distance as possible. You heard him command Lyla to lock the lab so no one could get in. You took a deep breath to stabilize your beating heart. 

“Why are you over there?”

You shot him a glare, “You know why.”

“Do I?” Miguel tilted his head in question. A rumbling chuckle filled your body when you tsked. He stood on the other end, not making any moves to get closer. Yet his eyes were trailing down your covered body. Picturing himself peeling every layer off of you. “I like your outfit today.”

You saw him take one step closer and you had to straighten yourself. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” Another step and you cleared your throat. You could see yourself being bent over that console if the conversation kept up like this. 

“Look, we really need to talk about this symbiote.” Miguel hummed, partially listening. As he took another step, you pressed yourself back against the console. Realizing you couldn’t get further back, you raised a harsh pointer finger towards him. “Miguel.”

“I’m listening, preciosa.” He paused, that same look of hunger in his eyes. 

“Are you? Do you see yourself right now?” You watched him take another step. 

Miguel snorted, “Do you see yourself right now? You’re so sexy. I can’t believe I married you.” 

He closed the gap, one hand on the console behind you. You placed your hands on his chest. At first, it was to try to create some distance, but the hardened muscle under your palms made you reconsider. Those same pectorals you've always felt and pressed up against. Your hands had a mind of their own, running along them. The corner of Miguel’s lips curled up in amusement. 

“You still wanna talk?” He picked you up and placed you on the console. His other hand placed against your lower back, pressing your entire body against his chest. Your resolve was dwindling as he gazed at you. “Or do you want to be bred?”

That’s how you ended up the way you were now. Clothes removed, thrown who knows where in his lab. Legs spread while his gigantic finger pumped into and out of you. Miguel’s symbiote form took over, drooling while watching you take him in easily. You whined while clutching his arm. Small sopping sounds fill your ears. 

A gasp escaped your lips when a second digit entered you. Your back arching at the beautiful friction. How his fingers knew where to touch inside. A satisfied growl erupted from Miguel, mouth wide as his tongue glided across your pleasure-fixed face. 

“Pretty thing. So obedient…” His thumb pressed against your clit. Your nails dug into his sticky skin at the additional sensation. Not wanting him to stop for a second as that familiar burning feeling started to rise. It pooled in your stomach before spreading up and over your body. Miguel didn’t care when you screamed for him in his lab, letting all the spiders know he was pleasing his partner. 

You panted, leaning back a little on the console when his fingers were gone. The familiar sight of his large cock came into view, ready to go in. A rush of clarity filled your mind as you stopped him. He gave you a look in question.

“Lemme be on top.”

Miguel grinned, eyes lighting up with intrigue. “Oh? Pretty little thing wants to bounce?” 

Before you could nod in confirmation, he sat down. Back pressed along the console. Goosebumps formed, feeling the cool steel amongst your feet. You licked your lips, watching your partner observe you. Dark blue cock aching to be inside. You hovered over him, stabilizing yourself by touching his shoulders. Before sinking down. 

Each time Miguel’s cock entered you, it was always as if it was the first time. After a couple of thrusts, You always lost your ability to think straight. Only taking what Miguel gave you. This time was going to be different. 

A moan escaped you, getting used to the feeling before raising your hips again. Before slamming back down on him. His eyes lowered at the sight of his partner fucking yourself on his shaft. Even though Miguel took over most of the time during sex, You had your moments of being the one to make him quiver under your touch. While fucking the symbiote, it was still affected by things that made regular Miguel whine. So you went slow, sliding up and down at an antagonizing pace. Even for you. But you needed to get your point across. Miguel’s hands hovered by your hips, ready to have you pick up the pace. Only for you to use one hand to grip his thick throat. 

His eyes went wide at the sudden action, your tiny hand doing your best to choke him out. “Pretty thing wants to get rough?”

“You like it rough.” You quipped back, still rolling your hips on him. Miguel growled at the sensation before latching his hand on his arm.

“We do.”

It happened in an instant, the symbiote tendrils curling around the lower half of your arm, coating it the signature blue. You felt stronger. Enough to grip his neck tighter. You also picked up the pace, bouncing in a way to drive him crazy. If you could see Miguel’s face, you knew his eyes would be rolled back, while his hips thrusted up in unison with your bounces. 

“L-Let me…speak to him…”

“You are.” The symbiote’s chest heaved, almost succumbing to the intoxicating sensation. 

You shook your head, a whimper coming out as you hit a spot that was too good. “No. I wanna…see him…” Miguel’s face appeared, pleasure permeating his dazed face. If there were any other moment, you wouldn’t stop, help him chase his fucked out high. But not right now. You slowed down, earning a cry from Miguel. 

“N-No. Don’t stop, mi amor.” 

“Listen to me first…” Your pace was torture as you sunk down enough to provide pleasure still. In this position, Miguel was susceptible to agree to anything as long as he made sure he released inside you. “We’re gonna have a conversation about this thing.”

“Okay, okay. We will. Now let’s-” A strangled moan escaped him when you squeezed his neck.

“I’m serious, Miguel. If we end up like this again without talking, you’re not coming back home.” You stared right into his eyes, serious while clouded with pleasure. Miguel stared right back, taking in that you meant every word. You didn’t like it had to come to this, but it would put you at ease if you two talked about it. 

He nodded, taking your words to heart. “Okay.”

With that, your pace picked up again. You bounced on his cock with vigor, hand removed from his throat and back to his shoulders. Miguel’s hands were on your hips as he fucked up into you to meet your own. Both were extraordinarily loud in the lab. Neither cared as they went to chase the high together. A mix of grunts and moans spread amongst the atmosphere. 

Then, a comfortable silence took its place.

[zutarawasrobbed]

ALTA Live Action Season 1 Initial Thoughts (Spoilers)

I just finished the season, and holy shit!

Quick things that need to be addressed/debunked:

“Sokka is no longer sexist”

I dont know what people were talking about when they talked about Sokka’s “sexism” being removed. It’s still there! But not in the overly exaggerated comical way it was in the original.

In fact, it’s more in line with ancient practices of indigenous tribes where men are seen as protectors and providers while women are expected to nurture. It’s not the same “boys are better than girls” narrative in the original.

Additionally, Suki still beats the fuck out of Sokka and humbled him really quick. They’re super cute by the way. And I love Suki’s “I like my men a little stupid” vibe. She’s great.

“Aang doesn’t run away like the original!”

That is not true. He does run away, but not because he’s trying to get away from the temple but instead to get some air because he feels overwhelmed. He’s more like taking a quick break and planning to come back. It’s not exactly the same, but almost. It also is done in a way where his guilt feels more justified.

“Katara doesn’t talk about her mom anymore like the original”

This is true… BECAUSE THEY SHOW INSTEAD OF TELL. I was honestly not prepared to see the death Kya in such graphic detail and how Katara was in the room hiding when it happened. It’s honestly really sad and more heartbreaking.

Plot:

The timeline seems to be ambiguous compared to the original series where it was “end of current year.” In fact, they repeat “three years” a few times, which makes me think if the series get greenlit for more seasons, it would be over a three year period.

Jet is still villainized but given more nuance and not a simple "good v bad" way like the original.

Zuko’s story about how he got his scar has additional lore that makes him come across as even more selfless and compassionate. The additional context of the platoon he advocated for in the war meeting, becoming his current crew, really added to the story.

Eradicated the nepotism baby plot point with Pakku only training Katara when he finds out he used to date her grandma. Instead, Katara proves herself and ends up teaching the other male fighters the techniques she learned from watching other benders use their elements and mimics them.

This season doesn’t have Aang learning any waterbending, but rather facing his trauma and the consequences of his actions. He get roasted by all his past lives. Which is an interesting choice, but I think it works well in how they executed it.

This season seems to actually be Katara focused and her journey of learning waterbending which I honestly loved because it really hits home the element of “water” being the story of an untrained waterbender learning her element. But, I do think Aang could’ve learned a little bending. It felt a little off.

Katara ends up advocating for all waterbending women and ends up leading an army of both men and women during the siege. She’s really bad ass and is given the title of master without being formally trained by Pakku. She made herself a master.

I think the timeline is a little wonky because of how much they had to fit in with the limited episodes they had.

Kuruk is given respect! I loved that.

June actually seems into Iroh which I thought was a funny but cool way to flip the script from the original.

The relationship between Zuko and Iroh is really beautifully executed. I love the depth they added with flashback scenes and their bond prior to the Agni Kai. It also wasn’t as frustrating watching Iroh and Zuko’s dynamic because Iroh communicated with Zuko in a way he could understand with straight answers rather than seeming to actively sabotage him with cryptic puns and shenanigans like the original.

They changed the love triangle with Yue Hahn and Sokka to be very healthy. They gave Yue autonomy and a choice in her relationship- which- again- is much more in line with indigenous cultures. Also, Hahn and Sokka’s relationship is really supportive and full of respect and no ill will.

They way they handled grief and the realities of war with the loss of life was very well done and really drove home the point that this is a war and these are child soldiers.

There’s a lot more but these are my initial thoughts. Will probably post more later.

Shipping:

Kataang is all but removed. Literally DOA. There is no indication of a crust on either side. It’s painted like a sibling relationship, which is like the original, but this time everyone seems to be on the same page. But, I swear the writers had to have read ZK fics because damn.

They canonized a popular Zutara theory/hc about the cave of two lovers and how the crystals would light up once it went completely dark instead of a “kiss” activating the crystal glow.

Speaking of the Cave of two lovers. They keep the Oma and Shu story with red and blue coloring. Making it come across more as foreshadowing than a direct link to the present tunnel story.

Sokka is put in Aang’s place with Katara in the tunnels and turned it into a story about the love of family and sibling bonds. Aang wasn’t even present.

Zuko and Katara share a meaningful look when they first see each other and continue to have a Katara centric scene followed by a Zuko centric scene and vice versa.

The scarf scene. I will not be elaborating further. If you know, you know.

Zuko and Katara fight scene in the North is epic. He still taunts her with almost the exact same dialogue but it’s so sassy- I love the banter.

Suki and Sokka were really cute and the actors had great chemistry. I think Yue and Sokka was really rushed and didn’t really feel anything about them, honestly. But I attribute that to lack of episodes to develop all that plot.

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

I've been seeing a lot of people talk about how Hazel is a boring protagonist(or I guess more like... people complaining about how other people are saying that? Idk I'm not on Twitter), and at first I kind of agreed with those takes because all I had seen were random clips. BUT, now that I've watched the show, I disagree. I don't think Hazel is a boring character, at least not conceptually. I think the issue is that the majority of her RELATIONSHIPS are really boring.

Hazel on her own has a lot of potential. She's caring, she's funny, she has a tendancy to overthink, her design is really good, she has realistic problems most people can relate to... she's just all around a really well built character. The problem is that almost none of the characters she interacts with consistently have any depth, and that causes her relationships with them to fall flat, which causes HER to fall flat because at the end of the day, a character is only as strong as their relationships with other characters. We're TOLD what her relationships with others are like, we're TOLD what the other characters' personality traits are, but we're never SHOWN those things. I think the episode where they deal with Jasmine's fears is probably the biggest offender. Jasmine herself acts as more of a plot device then anything else, with her fears being used as a stepping stone to teach HAZEL a lesson, rather then allowing the episode to focus on Jasmine overcoming those fears. The scene where Jasmine actually FACES those fears ends up being just thrown in at the end as a way to solve the conflict, which tbh wasn't that engaging in the first place because Hazel had no personal attatchment to any of Jasmine's fears... that's just kind of a bad episode overall tbh it's where all of the shows flaws are the most prominent but I DIGRESS-

Another really good example of the poor relationship building is her relationship with her brother, Antony, who we literally don't even get to SEE until well into the second half of the season. I haven't actually gotten to that episode yet, so I can't really judge Antony as a character, but I CAN judge how they've been setting him up so far! Which hasn't been very good! Instead of SHOWING US Hazel's relationship with him through flashbacks or something, the writers just have Hazel TELL US how she feels about her brother and things they used to do together. It just doesn't have the same impact as actually seeing their relationship play out would, y'know? They've been telling us about Hazel's relationships with other characters instead of showing us those relationships, and it's been hurting Hazel as a character.

The only relationships she has that we actually get to watch her BUILD are her relationship with Cosmo & Wanda and her relationship with Dev, which, while the ladder is genuinely really well done and interesting(aside from a couple pacing issues but honestly the show is chock full of those so whatever), the former ALSO falls really flat because Cosmo & Wanda aren't really... characters. They're iconic, sure, and they're really funny, but they're also mostly just plot devices. They're here to grant Hazel's wishes(aka cause the plot of the episode) and be funny. That's it. Which is fine, those kinds of characters obviously have their place, but when they're the only ones your main character consistently interacts with? That causes some problems. It's like if, in the movie Aladdin, instead of focusing mostly on the relationship between Aladdin and Jasmine, they focused entirely on his relationship with the Genie. The Genie is mostly just here to move the plot along and say funny things, so having him be the character Aladdin interacts with the MOST kind of breaks the movie. Having a story where almost all the interactions are between the main character and the comic relief just doesn't work.

Honestly I think the issues with Hazel's relationships are probably why people are more drawn to Dev as a character then they are to Hazel, because while Hazel almost exclusively interacts with characters who could be replaced by cardboard cutouts and nobody would tell the difference, Dev doesn't. Dev's relationships are a lot more engaging because all of the characters he interacts with are SIGNIFICANTLY more fleshed out then the ones Hazel interacts with. His relationship with Hazel is engaging because it's an emotional rollercoaster for both of them. His relationship with Peri is interesting because Peri is much newer to being a fairy godparent then Cosmo & Wanda are, meaning he's more likely to make mistakes. His relationship with his dad is interesting because it's literally the main motivation for his character, and we actually get to SEE WHY THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS THE WAY IT IS. His relationship with Irep is more interesting because Irep is a weird little shit who's mostly just using Dev to take over fairyworld, and he also has an interesting dynamic with Peri! Dev's relationships are all WAY better executed then Hazel's, and honestly I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that Dev is an antagonist who mostly interacts with other antagonists. He's at the center of almost every single ongoing conflict in the show, which is often times what makes a character and their relationships interesting: conflict. I also think he benefits from getting expanded on LATER in the show, since by that point all of the writers would've had a much better feel for all of the characters, making it easier for them to actually show what his relationships are like instead of outright telling us skgnvkdmfkekfndn

Now, was the point of all this to say that I think Dev would be a better protagonist then Hazel? No. Absolutely not no- he has a more interesting, better executed story then Hazel does so far, sure, but he just. Wouldn't be able to carry an episodic show like FOP on his own I'm sorry- we've seen the kind of wishes he makes, they're not particularly interesting. Because he's a rich kid who can do basically whatever he wants. Plus, his conflict with Peri just isn't really built to be stretched out over an entire season, which it would HAVE to be if Dev was the protagonist of a Fairly Oddparents, because the entire premise of the show is "this kid gets a Fairy Godparent, what kind of wacky hijinks will they get up to now?" Plus there's the fact that the narrative has been treating his parental neglect with a lot more gravity then Timmy's ever was, meaning if the show was from his perspective they'd have to tone down the things that make him interesting to keep the show from getting outright miserable- Dev is not a good character to make carry that kind of show. Dev should not be the main character. HOWEVER! Do I think the show would be more interesting if we got more episodes featuring him and Hazel hanging out together? Yes absolutely. They bounce off of eachother incredibly well, and once Peri is introduced we also get to see Peri's relationship with his parents and how THEY interact, and it's just. So much more interesting then seeing just Hazel and CosWan. Or Hazel's cardboard cutout friends. Honestly I'd go as far as to say he should've been Hazel's dueteragonist instead of just a recurring character, kinda like a(hopefully) better executed Chloe. It'd give Hazel a more interesting character to bounce off of then Cosmo & Wanda. Either that or I think Peri should've been Hazel's fairy godparent instead of Cosmo & Wanda, because he has more room to grow and develope as a character then they do, making his potential dynamic with Hazel a lot more interesting. Idk just in general I think having Hazel interact almost exclusively with Cosmo & Wanda was a mistake-

Also should be noted; I am saying this as someone who has never seen the original Fairly Oddparents. I don't know if the original show had these issues aswell or not, everything I know about the original comes from random YouTube videos I watched out of curiousity/boredom. Either way if the original DID have issues with Timmy's relationships being really boring then uh. That's not an excuse for A New Wish to do the same, I guess. Idk where I'm going with this... also sorry if this essay is incoherent! I have a lot of thoughts about how Hazel's relationships are really poorly executed and I just needed to get them out skfnvdkdjfndn- if you want me to elaborate on anything feel free to leave a comment or send me an ask :)

[bluebugjay]

I think there's a lot of depth to how Charles and Edwin react to new friends, especially male friends. Before he stood up to them, it appears Charles had quite a big friend group of (from what I can tell) all boys, he says himself that he's aces with people and also that he'd miss kissing meaning he's probably had a couple relationships with girls too. In comparison to Edwin who is practically the opposite, always alone in his flashbacks with only Simon (a bully) showing him any interest but Edwin is too nervous to even speak to him, he actively admits he's not good with people and would not miss kissing and didn't see the appeal of it until recently (obviously that's to do with his realisation on his sexuality but it also implies there wasn't much want for a relationship at all previously.)

They're socially polar opposites, it's shown particularly in the way they speak when they meet Monty for the first time - Edwin really isn't interested, he doesn't introduce himself or want to meet up again (obviously they get on well later in the show but when they first meet Edwin does not care), he's keeping his distance, not even considering the possibility of a new friends or more. Charles though, introduces himself immediately, offers him a hand shake, seems genuinely excited to meet him and make a new friend.

It's also interestingly shown in their reactions to Brad and Hunter. Edwin's really not all that charmed by the pair, he sees them as clients and that's it, I don't think he even relates to them being that they're teen boys like him and when they turn out to be bad people it's a surprise in the case but he doesn't act like Crystal and Charles - betrayed, like he didn't see it coming, he just accepts it almost like he didn't not expect it. Charles takes a much different approach, he sees himself in Brad and Hunter but I also think they remind him of his old 'friends' - he sees people he can get on with, that remind him of the good parts of his time alive. Then when they turn out to be bad, it's like his friends turning on him all over again. Where Edwin is used to seeing boys his age as bullies, Charles expects them to be his friends.

And they do this to a fault, Edwin on the defensive, desperate to be protected and Charles too open and welcoming for his own good, desperate for acceptance. It's Edwin being closed off to new people and Charles being so excited about them that creates a divide between them in the first place. Yet Edwin having his wits about him and Charles being so optimistic is also what saves them in many cases. They have such contrasting trauma around their past male friendships that create such hardships for them now and yet found such comfort and love in their own.

[imagobin]

🔯Zoldyck Family HCs🔯

I wish this had been explored more in the actual manga, because to me the Zoldyck family is one of the most intriguing things in HxH.

We did get this chart which is very interesting, but I wanted to expand on it with a couple more headcanons and speculations. Doesn't include Maha, Zigg or Grandma Zoldyck cause there's too little info on them (Seriously Zeno, where do you keep your wife?)

---

🪭Kalluto🪭

Starting with Kalluto because he's the youngest and also gets very little time to shine.

It is commonly agreed that he cares about Killua a lot and wishes he'd pay attention to him, and I think so too.

His relationship with Illumi is possibly one of mentor and apprentice, they go on missions together and Illumi supervises him to make sure he carries out assassinations properly, without toying with his victims too much.

We don't see him interacting with Milluki at all aside from flashbacks, but the two might have a pretty positive relationship. I think it still means a lot to Kalluto that his shut-in brother would take time out of his day to go on walks and play with him, even if that hasn't happened in a while.

As for his relationship with Silva and Zeno, I do like the idea of both father and grandpa being proud of Kalluto for mastering Nen at such a young age, though Silva might be a bit disappointed that Kalluto disobeyed him and became part of the Phantom Troupe.

---

🧸Alluka🧸

Such a sweetheart aaaa I wanna see more of her and Killua's future adventures.

Ever since her ability was discovered by the other members of the family, Alluka's either been used to get something (Looking at you, Milluki), or feared. Silva and Kikyo definitely fear her powers, and Zeno probably does too. Though... I have a weird feeling that unlike the rest of the family, Zeno would be like Killua and at least respect Alluka's pronouns, if she likes 'she/her', Zeno doesn't see the problem with referring to her as a girl.

I think Alluka on the other hand really wants to love the members of her family, despite how horribly they've treated her. She probably doesn't even understand why they all became so cautious around her at one point.

The only family member that Alluka does not like is Illumi for... pretty obvious reasons. Illumi isn't subtle at all with his desire to control her and her powers; plus, Illumi's hurt Killua the most, I don't think she could ever be okay with someone who's hurt her big brother so much (even by Zoldyck standards).

---

🪀Killua🪀

Not much to say about Killua since we see him interact with most of his family a bit more in-depth... aside from Kalluto-

Killua has definitely always favored Alluka over Kalluto, despite how much the youngest Zoldyck strives to get his attention. This is probably because of how close Kalluto is to his mom.

Killua finds Kikyo annoying, and definitely doesn't trust her, so since Kalluto spends a lot of time with their mother, by proxy, Killua can't bring himself to trust his younger brother either.

Aside from Alluka, whom he obviously trusts deeply, the other member of the family he trusts the most is probably his grandpa; Zeno clearly favors him and seems to be more supportive of Killua's choices compared to the rest of his family.

---

🎮Milluki🎮

Milluki my beloved, how I wish you weren't just the butt of a joke 90% of the time.

Physically speaking, he's probably the weakest Zoldyck besides Alluka, so he's most likely afraid of the other men in the family, and would definitely not want to get on their bad side.

He obeys and respects both Silva and Zeno, but I also think Milluki would like to be treated like Killua by his grandpa, that's why he shares his invention ideas with him; he wishes Zeno would praise him some.

Milluki is 100% a mama's boy, he cares about her so much, he definitely had the strongest reaction out of everyone when his mother's safety was threatened by Nanika's powers. Despite this, Kikyo doesn't seem to give him any particularly special treatment, again, that is reserved for Killua.

He's most definitely also the unlucky middle child, I think he was definitely put to the side once Killua was born; his family fully focused on Kil since he's the heir, and left Milluki to kinda do his own thing. I feel like this consequentially brought him to be jealous of Killua and all the attention he gets.

I swear he's even worse off than Kalluto, cause at least he's got his mother's love, Milluki's basically neglected even by Zoldyck standards.

---

📍Illumi📍

Man's the family's workaholic, you can't change my mind, he's also a little fucked up, but we love him for it.

He definitely cares about his whole family in his own twisted way. That includes Milluki too, they were the first two Zoldyck siblings so until Killua was born, they most definitely spent a lot of time together. Illumi doesn't really understand his brother, but he humors him.

His relationship with Kikyo is never really explored, but I see them as being definitely close, not as close as she is with Kalluto, but close. They share the same mindset when it comes to Killua. Illumi was also her first child, so she definitely poured her heart and soul into training him into being the perfect assassin, and it definitely shows.

Illumi's dynamic with his father and grandfather is definitely one of mutual respect, they may not agree on everything, but they trust each other's strength. Silva also appreciates Illumi's dedication to the family's business.

---

👒Kikyo👒

M'lady- okay no girl needs to take a chill pill, her fashion tho, on point.

Obviously her view of love is completely warped, growing up in Meteor City and marrying a world-renowned assassin didn't do her mental health many favors. But just like Illumi, she does love her kids deeply in a really twisted way.

She plays favorites, Killua and Kalluto are the ones she cares about the most, and with how dismissive of Milluki she is, he's probably her least favorite, kinda tragic since Milluki loves his mother a lot... but then we have Illumi, where does he stand? Kikyo cares about her first born child of course, she's very proud of him, and trusts him a lot with keeping Killua in check, since they seem to share opinions on how he should be trained. She wishes he'd spend more time with her for sure.

Her opinion however is way too often brushed off by Silva, not because she's a woman, but because she's not been raised like a Zoldyck, she doesn't fully know their ways, so she's not seen as a valid voice. It's an unfair treatment, and it really pisses her off.

---

☄️Silva☄️

True winner of the 'Father of the Year' award, along with Ging, great job you two.

Silva honestly has evil mastermind vibes, he cares about Killua, but also wants to constantly control him and test him in his own way (the needle was a massive proof of that). He's just a lot more subtle with it compared to Illumi and Kikyo.

He loves his wife, no doubt, even if he doesn't show it very often, I think the man is prone to small displays of love, and definitely shows it more with his actions than his words. (Him agreeing to let Alluka out of her room because he doesn't want Kikyo to die is definitely the biggest display of this we've seen canonically, he's aware of how dangerous Alluka's powers could be, but he still chose to risk the consequences of that over sacrificing his wife).

His relationship with his other kids is not really explored that much, but I believe he's mostly satisfied with all of them. I don't think he's super disappointed in Milluki either, but he definitely doesn't expect much of him, he does wish he'd take things more seriously.

---

🐲Zeno🐲

My favorite anime old man! I really wish people would pay more attention to him, he's cool as hell.

Zeno is probably the most chill man in the family, maybe cause he's old, but he's definitely the least likely to snap back at any of his family members.

He has a very strong set of morals, with him not wanting to cause any unnecessary deaths and all. I feel like because of this, he silently disapproves of Illumi's ways, especially regarding his Needle People, and the older brother's desire to control Killua.

Zeno doesn't really think much of Kikyo, he acknowledges her skills and such, but doesn't really go out of his way to interact with her. These two have definitely had their disagreements, mostly because Zeno tends to act on his own without consulting anyone, let alone her, which inevitably angers Kikyo.

He is quite proud of all his grandchildren, even if he's mostly focused on Killua. Much like Silva, he is happy that Kalluto mastered Nen at such a young age. He also sees more potential in Milluki, but wishes he was more committed to the family's business and used his genius to its full potential.

---

[kradogsrats]

Signs of the Fall, Pt. 1

Since basically... forever? Look, idk I wasn't around for the first half of this fandom so I don't know when Aaravos as "fallen star" was revealed. But presumably since then, it's been a big question mark as to exactly what that means.

We're told in places like the artbook that—along with whatever else it may mean—Aaravos being a "fallen" star means he's significantly depowered, and that his "fallen" status was a consideration in designing his look. So, reasonably, there should be identifiable features of Aaravos as a "fallen" Startouch elf, and we've collectively already spent a shit-ton of time overanalyzing them and what they mean.

BUT now that s6 is out and we have a chunk time seeing Aaravos before anything that would normally have been assumed to be his "fall" (more on that later), I wanted to return to some of the ones that have been most discussed.

The Eyes Have It

Previous assumption was that Aaravos's eyes not being the luminous Startouch pink outside of flashbacks was related to his status as a "fallen" Startouch elf and related to the darkening of his chest star:

This has not been cleared up by s6, where he is shown both with

and without the full-pink Startouch eyes

in contexts that are basically identical, aside from medium (one being a painting, and one being animated), in the same damn episode.

So what, if anything, does it mean?

First of all, I want to acknowledge that this may be entirely a choice of artistic convenience. Having arted a time or two, myself—characters without human-standard visual distinction between sclera, iris, and pupil are an unbelievable pain in the ass. A huge amount of microexpressions that humans subconsciously rely on to convey mood and intent are entirely down to the spatial/size relationship of iris and pupil to the surrounding eyelids. Leola and TMO are animated with full-pink eyes, with the irises barely distinguishable and pupils invisible, sure—but Leola has a shit-ton of emotional body language to compensate and let's be real, TMO is intended to be serenely inscrutable and alien.

It's just really, really hard to have a character convey the depth and nuance Aaravos requires when you're effectively barred from using one of the most critical aspects of facial expressions. Rather than fight that uphill battle, they may have chosen to handwave it in one context or another. (That is, the state of Aaravos's eyes is linked with his "fallen" status, and in the scenes with Leola they are meant to be different but it turned out to be way too annoying to handle.)

It could also, like Leola's single horn, be explained as a unique feature of Aaravos or this particular physical manifestation of Aaravos, except that they did go out of their way to include the full-pink eyes in not only the painted s4 flashbacks, but also the s3 promo art:

To be completely honest: I'm not convinced at this point that this is a feature we're meant to attach significance to. Unless we get additional context of another Startouch elf with eyes like Aaravos's, or conditions under which Aaravos is actually animated with the full-pink Startouch eyes... I don't think we can really know for sure.

Star Up, Star Down

In the same vein as his eyes, we've attached a lot of importance to the orientation of Aaravos's chest star. Since the Star primal symbol is actually used very rarely, and in just about every context up to s6 it was in its "upright" orientation—that is, the opposite of Aaravos's chest star. And like, obviously a fallen star would be upside-down.

It seems like s6 is determined to mess with us in that respect. For the most part, Aaravos's chest star is upright, or opening-down:

Until his grieving, when it is opening-up (and also darkened):

HOWEVER, when TMO appears in the same scene, their chest star is also opening-up, though lit:

We also get a LOT more usage of the Star primal symbol at the Starscraper:

And—excluding when it's on the floor so you can't know for sure what the "proper" orientation is—it is exclusively opening-up:

Also noteworthy is that we don't see the mark directly on Leola's chest, but on her clothing it is opening-up:

As is her star in the constellation:

So whatever the orientation is meant to signify—and unlike the eyes, I do think this is still significant in some way—it's unlikely that it's a strictly negative symbol. There's some other dichotomy at play that it's indicating.

Body Bling

This one doesn't come up as often, but it's suggested (at least in the artbook, IIRC) that Aaravos's body stars are brighter before he's "fallen," when he's at full power. Is this objectively true? Well... yeah, not really.

In arc two, they're very similar levels of brightness across s4-s6, independent of his chest star:

In arc one, the mirror effect tends to be more pronounced than the one scene where we see it in arc two, so it sometimes looks like they're not as bright. I think they actually are meant to be, though:

And then, of course, at the end of s2 when he's casting, everything is brighter:

So that doesn't seem related at all, except in the sense that magic is shiny. Maybe we'll learn something at some point about Aaravos's relationship to the primal sources that will explain that, but for now we can put this one to bed.

—

aaaaand I have actually hit the "images per post" limit so we'll be concluding in Part 2!

[naarlar]

Okie so hot take: I don’t think Melinoë is as good of a protagonist as Zagreus. And here’s why.

It all comes down to motivation. Why did Zag go through the events of Hades 1? Because he was living in an abusive and volatile household and had to find some way to make things better for not just himself but his house. Otherwise he surely would have lost his mind having to deal with the abuse he got (remember at the beginning of the game basically only Nyx and Achilles were helping him. Everyone else is either neutral towards him or outright hostile). He needed answers, he needed to find out who and what he was by trying to find Persephone. And in the end he succeeded and was able to create a better life for himself and his house. Hell, even his relationship with his dad improved.

Now let’s look at Mel (yes this criticism is only addressing Early Access Hades 2). Why is she going through the events of Hades 2? Because… she’s been groomed since basically birth to kill Chronos. She doesn’t really have any other motivation than because it is what is expected of her essentially. She even says during her confrontation with Chronos, AFTER HE THREATENS TO HURT HER FAMILY, what do I care I barely know them (yeah sure she could just be bluffing to Chronos but that is still a very chilling thing to say when supposedly all of this is to save them and it makes her reunion with Hades lowkey ring hollow or weak). In another scene she even says the same thing to Hecate and says Hecate is more her mother than anyone else. Heck even in the flashback scene with young Mel and Hecate (which was very cute I’ll admit) she says she would want her mother to come back so Hecate isn’t sad. This makes all her motivations to kill Chronos and save the Underworld seem very… disconnected from the main component of the game? Being saving the house of hades and her family??

Like it’s expected of her and she was raised at birth to basically be prepared for this but she doesn’t have any personal reasons for doing any of this than just not letting Hecate and the others in the Crossroads down. Hell when she comes back from killing Chronos for the first time it honestly feels like Hecate is more interested and invested in what happened than Mel herself.

It makes her a really weird protagonist especially when comparing to her brother and how effective he was as a protagonist. Think about it, with Zag we got really in depth and character revealing moments where as the player we understand why he is doing all of this and so it is easy to go along for the ride because we like Zag and want to help him. Mel says she cares a lot about what is going on and wants revenge, but it all feels surface level (and which is understandable she doesn’t know these people, all she can say is “the titan took my family” when let’s be real she sees the people in the crossroads as more of her family). It honestly just seems like because she is expected to kill Chronos since she could think, she feels she has to do all this. It feels weird how she is disconnected from the core point of the game being to save the house of hades when Zag was so integral to that same core point in the first game.

I dunno, just my thoughts, I’m curious to see what everyone else thinks.

Edit: just fyi cause I feel with the comments I’ve been getting from my posts, I like hades 2 I am excited especially for the official release. I recognize my criticism/analysis could be wrong or out of date since the game isn’t finished yet. These are just my initial thoughts.

[sherry-cleo-salvadore]

Well having slept on (kind of) this break up as a viewer and the aftermath of it - I found it in myself to finally word my feelings in a more positive/non-angry/non-petulant way, I wanted to share that message on this account for a sense of closure:

Thank you so much, Lou, for giving us such a complex and layered character even in such a short span. As someone who loves to read and watch movies/shows and one day wants to work in the entertainment industry as a writer, sometimes I get frustrated with how characters get written for only marketing purposes - 911 for me became one of those shows where the characters are not really boxed as black and white - they are human layered characters with positive and negative attributes with space for growth through experiences making them realistic and authentic. Tommy was one of those characters and to be able to see such a depth and potential in a character that at first was only in two flashback episodes and was then brought back as a love interest years later - some people find it abrupt but honestly the way it was written and the way it was portrayed by you on screen it felt just natural for the story not just as a love interest for Buck but as a character of his own, so much so that I was hoping to see writers dwell into a Tommy Begins kind of episode maybe. I am not even mad about break up, I understand getting anxiety and fear from relationships when one has been hurt in past relationships trust me I do, I have been that person who has broken up with people because my mind would jump into future conclusions of relationship failing and while I am not proud of that behaviour I felt so seen when on television even as a heterosexual woman and was really hoping for a light at the end of the tunnel for such character dynamic. So yes, seeing a complex and layered character say goodbye like Tommy say goodbye like that in fiction really stings as a human who uses fiction to believe in a happy ending. That being said - thank you so much for giving us Tommy, it really can be seen you put your heart and soul into the character and I really appreciate your approach to this character with such authenticity and sensitivity. I am not sure what the canon story's future is - hopefully we get to see Tommy return but until then, in my head Tommy has found someone with whom he can let down his guard and even when anxieties about the future strikes he is with a partner (Buck or someone else/romantic or platonic) who assures him that a relationship is worth fighting for and gives him space to heal at his own pace without giving up on him - someone who makes him believe that he is not alone and worth fighting for.

Thank you so much once again for Thomas Kinard, he is a character that matters to a lot of people and will never be forgotten 💕

(I have not edited it grammatically because I just needed to purge it out like it was my therapy exercise)

[yuurei20]

Hey Yuurei ^^ - Question!

So, as far as I'm aware the flashbacks we see at the end of the chapter are player and overblot character specific - MC and Grim do not witness them. (Right?) Nor do any of the other students really have a deep understanding of the other characters motivations beyond what they yell pre-and post overblot

(and honestly this kinda ties into why I don't really understand the Therapist Yuu joke - in the game particularly, MC doesn't really do much to comfort let alone really understand the Overblotters? Azul has a moment, but otherwise not really. (I feel like the Manga and Book get into that territory a bit more though)

ANYWAY

My question is if as far as you've seen, the characters seem aware of the backstories of the other characters? In Masquerade, it does seem like Azul and Malleus (more Azul) seem aware of Idia's relationship to the dead sibling topic. It also seems like the Heartslybul characters are more aware of Riddle's background, but I'm not sure about anyone else.

Hello hello! ^^ Answer! Thank you so much for this wonderful question!

As far as I can tell the flashbacks are between the overblot victim and the player, with no other characters (or the prefect/Grim) involved!

There are never any dialogue boxes or internal monologues from the prefect insinuating that they witnessed the flashbacks.

There are similarly no insinuations in the manga (only the Heartslabyul arc has been completed as of this post), and in the novel the point of view changes entirely to the overblotter.

There is no internal dialogue or narration to insinuate that the prefect is aware of the post-overblot dreams, and in Heartslabyul novel the prefect silently reflects (after Riddle has recovered) on how much none of them know:

"‘But…things got so bad that he overblotted. I think the housewarden has his reasons. Clover-senpai won’t say anything, though.'"

"Riddle had conjured enough excess blot to exceed the capacity of his stone. The depth of his sorrow and rage is simply too much for Yuuya and the others to understand." - Twst the first novel

The other students seem to mostly be waiting for the overblotter to wake up in the game, which we can probably assume is what the prefect does as well.

Azul and Idia do seem maybe the most curious of the group, but then there is the end of Book 6 where Rook explains, "He--or rather, they--chose to try and boost their brother up from the depths below to the skies above," insinuating that he knows about dead-Ortho.

Rook is speaking openly with Vil, who seems to know who this "they" refers to, so it might be safe to assume that the kidnapped overblot victims know about dead-Ortho!

As for who knows what, I think Riddle and Leona might be the most secretive of the overblotters! Riddle has a line about how much he has suffered and Leona mentions being loathed with no present and no future, but we get a detailed mission statement from overblotting Azul.

It seems Azul is able to deduce Jamil's motivation based on Jamil's pre-overblot monologue, while we receive vague but not inaccurate information from Vil, as well.

Malleus also presents a statement of intent for his overblot.

To the original question: you have a good point about the prefect not really serving as a counselor! They seems to have limited one-on-one screen time with any of the characters besides Grim, Ace and Deuce.

This makes the end of Book 3 all the more fascinating, as you say!

Is Azul the only character with whom the prefect has ever had a one-on-one conversation about what happened, encouraging him and complimenting him?

(While there are follow-ups with Jamil in Book 5 and Vil in Book 6, they are both group conversations rather than a private moment between an overblotter and the prefect alone.)

(The prefect also interacts briefly with a post-overblot Leona in Book 2, but it is in a crowded room with the prefect calling Leona out for not showing remorse, which is also a little different from the moment between the prefect and Azul.)

While I find the "prefect acting as school counselor" fandom-joke to be very cute, you may be correct that it is not exactly an accurate representation of what is happening in the game ^^ (similar to the joke about STYX being the government!)

[mdhwrites]

I’ve been watching Amphibia while studying. I should definitely do a rewatch during the summer, but it’s occurred to me that Amphibia’s strengths are criminally underrated.

Amphibia feels like a more focused show than TOH. It has its flaws ofc especially in Season 3, but Amphibia’s cast comes across as a lot more developed than TOH’s cast. I mean, Andrias got a dedicated flashback episode and Belos didn’t???

Amphibia’s execution of the found family trope is one of the best things I’ve seen in animation. In contrast, I always felt that King, Lilith, Eda, and the Hexside crew are plot devices to get Luz where she needs to go. Eda has some depth but generally speaking TOH never “got into their heads,” unlike with the Plantars, Sasha, Marcy, Grime, and Andrias.

And I gotta praise Amphibia’s ending!!! I wish more kids cartoons embraced the idea of permanent, bittersweet change. The idea of letting things go but not forgetting them.

So while I agree Amphibia is more focused, I actually don't think that's what the bigger difference is between TOH and Amphibia that I think needs to be highlighted. No, instead, I'm interrogate something you said: Does Belos not get a dedicated backstory episode? For that matter... Does he potentially get MORE time spent on backstory than Andrias?

Andrias literally only gets The Core and the King. He actually gets VERY little screentime, mostly because the effects of his cruelty are more important than what he does himself. So for backstory, he gets 11 minutes. MAYBE you could stretch to like 12 or 13 if you want to include hints to Lief but that's all post her time with him. So 11 minutes because Andrias only gets one segment, not two.

What does Belos get?

Well... I think everyone just forgets about Elsewhere Elsewhen. That IS backstory. That is previous characterization. It's not a flashback but it is still interacting with a Belos earlier in the timeline, like a backstory exposition dump or a flashback does. And interacting with Philip is the main purpose of the A plot of the episode, even if it takes a bit to get to him and then he dips out before the end.

As the author of the journal though, he also counts for backstory whenever passages of the journal are told to us. It's unreliable but it is still previous characterization. So stuff like Eclipse Lake and the end of Looking Glass Ruins adds a little here and there.

Then of course... What the fuck do you call Hollow Mind if not a dedicated backstory episode to Belos? The majority of the run time is literally go through his brain, and his memories, to show his rise to power. His backstory. And while there is technically a B plot, it doesn't take up much time so probably at least a third of the episode is spent on this and these are 22 minute episodes. If just two thirds get spent on backstory, that's more than Andrias gets.

So why doesn't it feel like that? Why does it feel like we get a VERY complete version of Andrias' backstory, despite seeing cumulatively three days in a row of his life, while it feels like we were never told Belos'?

Efficiency. Amphibia is a VERY efficient work. It crams a LOT into its run times. It's part of why the episodes are so satisfying because they actually manage to tell complete stories with morals, sometimes their own A and B plots in an 11 minute segment and actually move the characters forward a full step within the span of that time. It does this while also being hilarious and action packed, much more than TOH or, honestly, a lot of cartoons. Not every episode segment counts for this but ESPECIALLY the important ones do and The Core and the King should be taught in classes for how to get across a character's motivations and backstory in a nuanced, breezy way while also being DENSE. AS. FUCK.

In eleven minutes, we get a clear idea of the utopia that Andrias used to live in, the cost of that utopia, the pressures upon him as a prince, how deep his relationships are with two other characters, Lief gets some genuinely good characterization that helps explain her choice, a logical progression of events that matches with the sillier side of Andrias we know of, an escalation and then a climax. We can VERY clearly see what Andrias lost, what he is trying to get back, and why he would want it back on multiple levels, both societal, familial and even personal, that will motivate into being a MONSTER for a thousand years. All while still being a lot of fun and having some really great jokes. It introduces so many elements but it never feels bogged down by any of this. Instead, it chose the PERFECT moment to get across everything it needed to and left very few questions that you as an audience couldn't figure out yourselves. This also all while being explicit about much of the motivation and what not instead of relying on background details.

Which TOH can't claim for Belos. In Elsewhere Elsewhen, we see that Philip hates witches, that his journal is unreliable and that he has ALWAYS been an asshole and a manipulator. That's befitting who he will be but doesn't actually tell us jack shit. It also includes I guess how he met the Collector but that's moving plot, not expanding on your villain. Because the journal is unreliable, it tells us very little to nothing about him except for some reason he donated his journal to the people he fucking despised. Then Hollow Mind shows how he came to power... But not who he is. Not his motivation, what he actually wants to accomplish besides murder, etc. like that. The paintings in the background tell you far more just by being far more suggestive of what he's been through.

TOH is fucking awful when it comes to density. Most episodes, not even just Belos, have the problem of only taking half steps. Each of Belos' parts are those half steps. Revealing only one or two elements when it easily could have shown more to be more satisfying. As an example: Amphibia has a GREAT episode between Ivy and her mom about rebellion, the consequences of fighting what your parent wants for you, why they might do the things they do, etc. like that. In 11 minutes, we get a genuinely complex relationship between Ivy and her mom who haven't had much talk about each other or their relationship up until now. Meanwhile, TOH decides to focus on Luz being expelled for the episode about Amity and Odalia, meaning Amity is in like... Three, maybe five minutes of that episode? A full minute of that being the intro to the episode where she's just showing off the abomaton?

Because it isn't actually focused on Amity, the relationship between Amity and Odalia isn't actually explored. Because they can't explore that, they also need to now make Odalia cartoonishly villainous so as to fit the fact that Luz also spends very little time with her due to making the conflict be about Hexside so we have to waste some time with a stock standard montage of Luz, Willow and Gus trying to get back in. And by the end, what is the resolution between Amity and Odalia? "Get in my way again and I will kick your fucking ass."

Much deep. Very brave.

There's TONS of stuff like this where Amphibia is genuinely the work trying to do more interesting, more meaningful and deeper things than TOH and managing to do it in literally half the time. If not even less. That breakneck pace is part of what makes Amphibia feel like a kids show but it's also what makes it just more enjoyable to watch.

Which actually makes TOH fit in better with our current era of streaming television. TOH is constantly baiting you for the payoffs it promises. It keeps swearing that its elements are deeper than they appear so make sure to tune in next week because this SURELY can't be all there is to, right?

Unfortunately, that is all there is to it. And once you realize that and look at the show with that sort of lens, it starts falling apart. It's part of why TOH should be thankful it was shortened. It lets people more easily claim that it just needed another season. Another fourteen episodes. That TOTALLY would have solved all the problems with episodes that happened even before the shortening.

That is extremely rarely how this works everyone. Sorry.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[wuxia-hero]

HELLO coming out of my cave to yell about how much I LOVE The Double (墨雨云间) bc I have no irl friends that love historical c-dramas :’) I’ve been hung up on this show for a few days after finishing it.

Overall 10/10 with a subjectively happy ending (I choose to believe the ending is happy) with really good acting. Wu Jinyan could never disappoint. The frontal camera angles threw me off quite a bit at first but I slowly started to appreciate this artistic choice.

Some spoilers ahead as usual!

Let’s dive into - the Plot. I read some of the original novel in the past but dropped it after a while. There are some differences - such as the novel using transmigration (Xue Fangfei entering Jiang Li’s body) as the main plot point, while the drama explicitly shows how Xue Fangfei’s journey with Jiang Li and how she eventually took over JL’s identity after her passing. Personally I prefer what the drama did as everything felt much more real and believable. This added a depth to the story that transmigration was unable to showcase. Plus, Wu Jinyan’s ability to showcase XFF’s pain and growth as she vows to exonerate JL (played by Yang Chaoyue) and herself was extremely captivating and I constantly wanted to root for her.

All the flashbacks with JL thanking XFF throughout the show had me sobbing in bed at 3am while watching.

Special mention to the king (played by Zeng Ke Liang) as well for not being a total fool - as seen in SO MANY other historical dramas. His friendship with Xiao Heng is rock solid, and seeing the ministers and other antagonists constantly underestimate it was sooo satisfying to watch. So if you hate cdramas with stupid monarchs, you'll be pleased to hear that there won't be any of that here.

Scenes of their friendship were really cute to watch too.

The romantic development between XFF and Xiao Heng (played by Wang Xingyue) was delightful to watch. I love couples that just understand each other. Without explicitly saying anything, without any grand confessions of love, both parties mutually knew each other’s feelings and constantly looked out for each other. The slow and gradual process of them falling for each other was paced out beautifully - XH’s gaze changes as he looks at her throughout the episodes, and XFF gets more and more playful around him. The script and their bantering ticks all the right boxes fkr me. He’s the only person that knows her real identity, she doesn’t need to hide in front of him. And this makes their relationship so much more special.

And I love that there was nothing like making stupid decisions in the name of love and protection while jeopardising the bigger picture. (eg. XH giving up the entire secret army the emperor trusted him with for XFF - turning out to be a hidden ploy) Both XFF and XH were on a quest for revenge and they are determined to get what they want without making any compromise. If at any point of the plot - they deviate from this and decide to do something foolish in order to protect the other, I would have seen it as out of character.

Bonus points for including an archery scene :D It’s one of my favourite overused tropes.

The overall camera work and style of The Double was shot so beautifully and in a rather interesting theatrical style. From JL’s death where she falls among the pear blossoms to Princess Wanning (played by Li Meng) ’s dancing and even the scenes where characters stare directly into the camera. The opening scenes were super dramatic and really set a heavy tone for the rest of the story.

While the staring into the camera took some getting used to, there are certain portions where Wanning’s expressions gave me goose bumps. Li Meng’s performance took me out - her Wanning was repulsive in the way she treated others, yet so broken from her past that I felt so much pain for her towards the end of the story. It was amazing.

There were even comedic elements that made some parts feel like a stage play. Like her cousin and his lackeys’ coordinated walk as they try to help her out from her room. And one of the minister’s love for theatre which was super on the nose I laughed out loud while watching it all play out. The style in which important plot points are presented is so unique and really sets this show apart from other cdramas I’ve watched.

Everyone in the cast was amazing in their roles. While Wang Xingyue is one of the younger cast members, the emotional depth in his performance as Xiao Heng gave off maturity and a temperament beyond his years. Seeing him goof around behind the scenes, and then watching him as Xiao Heng gave me whiplash - but in the best way possible.

Liang Yongqi was a truly despicable Shen Yurong - it got to a point where seeing him on screen made my skin crawl. Liu Xiening as Jiang Ruoyan was perfectly annoying - and I can't wait to see more from her as I've really liked her since she was in Gugudan.

I could probably go on and on about how much I love Wu Jinyan as Xue Fangfei and I’m so happy that they casted her because she was perfect. (Admittedly, I’m biased). But I think you can watch the show to experience everyone's brilliance for yourself. The casting and script pacing was great and all the different pieces fit together into this story perfectly.

Now let's talk about the somewhat controversial ending of The Double. Did our beloved Duke Su die in battle? Did they ever reunite? I choose to believe that he came back to her in the end and they got their happy ending. But Wang Xingyue's performance in that last battle - with the iconic scene of XFF's pendant in his mouth was breathtaking. Regardless, I do think the show could have done without causing the audience pain with this added arc of him going back to his duties - but I felt that it made sense.

Xiao Heng is someone who is deadly loyal to his country and to his king. He and XFF are not the kind to simply escape from the capital and its intrigues to live a happy life on their own. Both value their family and their country, they would never leave the capital to pursue their own happiness.

Also something I noticed - that made this scene so much more painful. At the start after XFF retrieves the pendant, Tong'er (her servant) tells her not to pawn off this pendant anymore. She replies with "there's no one worth trading this pendant for". And then she gives this pendant to XH before he goes off to battle at the end. Cries.

Abrupt end but I think this is most of the feels I have to get out already - I took a lot of screenshots and recordings while watching The Double (haven't felt the urge to do so in such a long time tbh) so there may be more posts from me while I continue yapping about how much I love this show and story adaptation.

smol life update: I’ve been working FT after graduation two years ago - but I was in a pretty bad environment and have decided to resign this year. So now I’m funemployed and trying to work through some health issues. Hope everyone has been well and thank you for reading this! ❤️❤️

[momoliee]

Here Is Why You Should Read Priest’s Modern Danmeis :

As much as i love priest’s period novels, i absolutely adore her more recent, modern novels even more. You can tell that her writing style has completely changed as she grew and gained more experience, giving an edge to her work. I definitely believe her modern books NEED to be as popular as her wuxia ones cause COME ON?

(i’ve written in depth reviews on my page for each title i mention)

First, my absolute all time favorite, one of my top 3, Mo Du :

I’ve read this series a total of two times so far, and I’m about to read it a third time cause it’s just that good. And here’s the thing, i almost NEVER reread or rewatch stuff ok.

Fei Du is one of the most complex characters that i’ve encountered in my reading experience, with the worst type of mental trauma that i could come across. His relationship with Luo Wenzhou is one of the most enjoyable and perhaps, priest’s best written romance. Theyre both equally flirtatious, equally bold, their back and forth bickering is full of sexual tension and their progression from enemies to lovers is IMPECCABLE.

And the plot? PHENOMENAL. The BEST mystery and thriller detective series that I’ve ever encountered, with each book having it’s own individual mystery, and no two mysteries are similar. From child trafficking to serial killers to drug dens and even terrorism….you name it. Each arc is well crafted, and by the end, you’ll truly be able to sigh in satisfaction. For priest to be able ro make you enjoy both the romance and the plot equally…shes a genius. a 27/10.

Trigger warnings: this book discusses heavy topics such as pedophilia, rape, drug abuse, suicide, self harm, and a lot of similar topics

Next: Can Ci Pin:

Her most underrated work and i cant even begin to understand why. I mean yes it takes place in outer space in a futuristic society where people live for around 200 years across the span of 8 galaxies (not there are no aliens, but there are concepts such as ais and robots) but like….you’ve all read sha po lang with its steampunk theme and you all KNOW just how good priest is at world building. Dare i say, priest is the best danmei author when it comes to world building.

Yes, this is perhaps her slowest and longest piece of work and i get why so many would get bored after the second book. But here’s the thing, ccp has one of the most complicated worlds and plot. the plot is actually one of the most confusing and heavy plots that i’ve encountered. so in order for the story not to fall apart, it was very necessary for priest to spend the first two novels and half world building as well as slowly laying out a proper foundation for the plot. That way, when she starts speeding up the pace, you are basically a pro who doesn’t need to backtrack, reread or double check anything. By the time i was done with the third novel, i felt like i knew everything about space politics, wars between galaxies, Ai and microchips, and everything in between. And that’s saying something cause im an IDIOT when it comes books and shows politics ok.

In this series, priest has seriously invested into every single side character, even those who’ve been dead since before the series even started. With extensive backstories, each and every single character grows on you as much as the main pair if not more, and you fall in love with the found family priest created as well as all the characters who are only talked about in flashbacks and past tense. Another favorite part about this series.

Now the main characters and the romance….chefs kiss. Lu Bixing has one of the BEST character arcs that i’ve come across. He starts off as this bright sunshine boy, goes through hell, becomes this depressed cynical man then finds his way back to his old self again all in the span of the novel itself. Being able to go through the pain with him then watch him heal, makes you very attached to this baby. Li Jingheng my all time cold prince biggest crush ok i love him. Their romance was SOO entertaining cause EVERYONE was rooting for them and everyone played matchmaker and wingman with them it was HILARIOUS. The comedy was top notch, the second hand embarrassment was real, but it made the reading experience feel much more organic idk i just enjoyed myself so much and laughed so hard. 20/10

Trigger warnings: human trafficking and experimentation, self harm and suicide

Third : Lie Huo Jiao Chou

Xuan Ji’s wings of flame are the highlight of the series ok. Almost every single scene has him whipping his wings out just to show off and his boyfriend eats it up everytime ok.

I absolutely love the amnesiac plot line where two past lovers meet again and yet are unable to recognize each other. Yet, slowly, as they spend more and more time together and one of them starts regaining his memories, the pining and longing begins. And oh does Xuan Ji YEARNS in the most beautiful way possible. And once they BOTH regain their memories in full, the angst is just the cherry on top. Being unable to resist each other yet still trying to pull away, the tension, trying to hold back…delicious.

The plot is so easy to keep up with and enjoy too. Both the story taking place 3,000 years ago and the one in present time are equally entertaining, where we see scenes of war and tomb raiding and investigations and a little bit of magic too. The visuals are fantastic, and the contrast between the two parallel settings is new and refreshing as a concept. 8/10

Trigger warning: main characters experience severe child abuse and neglect

Fourth : Guardian

Guardian is the most popular out of priest’s modern novels so i dont feel the need to say much.

Guardian discusses heavy topics such as death and what’s beyond. With an element of mystery where an investigation team search after where dead souls are being stolen to or why some souls are being sucked out of living people, the premises has an element of horror and goth that gives it this edge. Coolest ghost story around.

The main cast is also a hilarious bunch, and you sort of grow attached to the entire office especially a fat black talking cat. 7/10

Trigger warning: death and murder

I hope this is enough to convince you all to check out more and more of pipi’s work. Yes, sha po lang, lord 7, faraway wanderers and fuyao sect are amazing…but if you haven’t read priest’s modern work then yall are missing out ok. that’s it for now xxx

[randomfoggytiger]

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part XXII): Faith, Fear, and Scully Symbiosis, Part II

A continuation of Part I's (post here) look at Scully's faith, familial misunderstandings, and (supposedly) failed hope.

MEMENTO MORI, REDUX

Where we last left off: Maggie and Scully are clinging to each other, tears flowing as their last hope is ripped away.

What's interesting about this moment is that it mirrors their hug in Memento Mori; but unlike then, Scully has finally accepted she is as good as dead-- and, walls now lowered, is openly mourning. She grips her mother like a life raft, working her mouth to keep from breaking down completely. 

A few important things happen here: Maggie breaks off from crying to look upward, collect herself, and purse her lips-- so like her daughter, in fact, that it’s undeniable where Scully got her mannerisms from (well done, Sheila Larkin.) Her emotions solidify when Scully’s liquify, a symbiotic push and pull mother and daughter seem to share: one broken and struggling, the other stiff upper lipped and strong. 

The latter points to two key features of their relationship, from Maggie’s perspective: 

Maggie is emotionally based-- bleeding tears (Beyond the Sea, Memento Mori, Redux II) and venting her frustration (Ascension, Memento Mori) loudly and publicly.

While it's undeniable she loves each of her children, Maggie seems to gravitate to Scully the most: seeking her out in flashbacks (A Christmas Carol), advocating for her despite their disagreements (Beyond the Sea, post here), confiding in her about premonitory dreams (Ascension), and trusting in the people she trusts (Ascension, Paper Clip, posts here and here.)

Maggie is knit to but doesn’t fully understand her daughter-- and is aware of her shortcomings. Dana is “the strong one”: the one she calls first when Captain Scully dies, the one she expected would have her on her medical documents (One Breath, post here), the one she knows trusts her more than any other person on earth (Wetwired, post here), and the one who hurts her the most through continued reticence and distance (Memento Mori, Gethsemane, posts here and here.) 

In short, she loves her children equally but depends on Dana the most… which creates, again, a symbiotic push and pull between the two: Scully’s equally fierce inter- and independence, and Maggie’s reliance on and distrust of her daughter's decisions (post here.) Both women depend on people; and both have to learn to stand on their own two feet. (It’s a page out of Sheila Larkin’s thoughts on Mrs. Scully, really: “...someone who never gets to finish her college degree or find a career for herself, but mainly gets enmeshed in her family. You know, the Everymother. Part of her emergence in becoming self-sufficient was during the course of this show with Dana. I think Margaret is ever-evolving." Interview here.) 

"I know that you're afraid," her mother whispers, determined-- rising above her own pain in the face of her daughter's terror.

At the open avowal of her fear, Scully clings tighter, gripping her mother’s back with widened, terrified eyes. She's only prevented from prolonging the moment by Maggie's sudden withdrawal; and, still uncomfortable with showing unchecked emotion, Scully looks down while sniffling back snot-- distressed at her distress becoming public, but desperate to hear words of consolation. 

“And I know you’re afraid to tell me. But you have to tell someone,” Maggie insists, drilling courage into her daughter through her eyes. She is insisting, silently, that Dana address this pain instead of shy away from and be eaten up by it. As previously mentioned, Maggie acts, per Scully's flawed system, as her daughters confessor; but here, she reinforces her own human frailty: that she is a loving mother out of her depth. But that's not the full truth: she is also a loving mother one who sets aside the pangs of ego to get her child the help that she needs.

Scully weighs the wisdom of her words; sighs resignedly at their truth--

--and looks up, finally: determined, too.

Here, then, is when she tells her mother to call Father McCue. 

That detail is important: we see Father McCue in three consecutive scenes-- once on his arrival, once during a prayer session with Scully, and once with the family after her remission. Why, then, did he not drive over now, the day he got the call, instead of waiting twenty-four hours to pray with the dying?

Two considerations present themselves:

1. Nighttime visitation would be prohibited, depending on hospital policy. But that's only half an explanation.

2. Father McCue's duties and their requirements-- depending on the size, scope, and scale of his parish-- could have prevented him from shredding his calendar and marching straight over. (And as morbid as it sounds, there likely would have been a person or two who needed last rites read to them more immediately than Scully.)

If that be the case-- if he couldn’t leave his responsibilities to join Scully on her deathbed until the next day-- then that would mean he wouldn’t have had time either to come back again, that same day, when she was pronounced in remission. Meaning, Father McCue hadn’t left when Scully’s doctor brought in the final report. 

What does this mean, for the Scully family?

We’re told (later) that perhaps Scully, perhaps her family considers her recovery a miracle. And while that would apply because of their faith and beliefs, I have another tantalizing thought: that the doctor walked in while Scully was in the midst of her prayers, right after Mulder denounced Blevins to the FBI. It would fit with the dramatic bent of the show writers, and would explain Father McCue’s presence at the end of the episode. “A miracle” would also seem a little more plausible if Father McCue had been actively praying when it occurred, no? 

After Maggie leaves, after Mulder spends the night crying by Scully's bedside, after she wakes the next day none the wiser and they swap thoughts on his next plan of attack, Father McCue opens the door, appearing for his last rites visit. 

Seeing his approach, Scully feverishly reaches for Mulder’s hand-- the first initiation since her cancer diagnosis, to my recollection-- before he can slip away. She is no longer willing to fight and fight and fight-- i.e., she is no longer willing to push away her source of strength, grasping it to face a greater test of faith.

She clings to it as she whispers, “You’ll be in my prayers,” clings to it as he kisses her cheek goodbye, clings to it as he kindly lets them drift apart. Her face contorts into different stages of fear, insecurity, anxiety, and resignation: the same expressions, to a lesser degree, she’d used with her mother. This, in short, marks Mulder as a man she trusts as deeply as her first confessor (her mother.)

But, again, Mulder is not her intermediary, he is her “other fathers”-- a fact the episode drives home when Mulder teases, “Have him say a few ‘Hail Mulders’ for me.” While this functions as a witticism on the ‘Hail Mary’ chant-- a prayer to an intercessor-- he is, inadvertently, setting himself up as someone the confessor must pray for (read: to.) In other words: Mulder leaves room, literally, for Scully’s confessor, and unintentionally sets up a dynamic that will have Scully praying with her intercessor on his behalf.

The last scene of Redux II begins outside Scully's hospital room.

Her cancer is in remission; and Mulder, sits alone (again, post here) in the hospital hallway, processing. He strikes a cutting figure-- one lost in thought and overwhelmed; and one who is respectfully, ruefully following Bill’s wishes. An interesting note to leave their relationship on: lines strictly divided and enforced-- a tasty prelude to their second meeting in Emily. 

When Skinner joins him, he is jolted from his thoughts; and the two engage in FBI nitty gritty until Mulder drops the remission bomb. Awed, his boss immediately wants to congratulate Scully-- but, crucially, he asks Mulder, “Can I see her?” To Skinner, Mulder and Scully have become each other’s gatekeepers; and Mulder doesn’t bat an eye at that request (neither does she, when put in similar situations.) It's another interesting aspect of their partnership that Bill Scully will have to face soon.

“Yeah-- she’s in there with her family right now,” Mulder adds, looking back to their metaphorical spot, then down-- a thought sticking, but not stinging. “But I’m sure she’d love to see you.” 

Two things of note: Mulder could be, yet isn’t, resentful of the ostracization-- he’s made his peace, and is more than happy to sort his feelings at a distance. Secondly, his “sure she’d love to see you” remark is jolly and pointed: considering Scully’s recent suspicions of Skinner’s guilt, this statement implies (another) two things: 

Mulder already told Scully that he named Blevins, and that his conviction has convinced Scully. 

Mulder knows Scully would be more than happy to have some sort of professional from work interrupt the family stare session. Which also implies, per his tone of voice, that this fact about his partner-- her discomfort at being fussed over or made much of-- amuses him. (...Which, also, lines up perfectly with his surprise birthday song, loud clapping, and "whoo"ing in Tempus Fugit.)

Skinner dips to see his second agent (not at all bothered about invading family time), which provides us a last look at the Scully family. 

Scully turns quickly towards the door, slight (though ashamed at her former distrust) smile still in place when she sees it’s Skinner, not Mulder (which gives validity to the theories mentioned above.) Maggie is sitting on her daughter’s bed, caught mid-inhale-- teary and emotionally drained and relieved. And finally, Bill stands by his sister’s left, holding what I believe is her medical bracelet: teary himself, and unashamed to be caught staring at the proof (whatever it may be) of his sister’s remission-- the very image of a proud, overjoyed big brother. 

CONCLUSION

And that, as far as we’re shown, is the last look at the Scullys in Redux II. 

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[anulithots]

NOORIE. I JUST WATCHED EP 3-5 OF LINK CLICK AND I BAWLED MY EYES OUT. I WASN'T EXPECTING THIS MUCH EMOTIONAL DAMAGE WHYYYYY

off topic but like scattered thoughts:

i don't know if you know this but what they're chanting during the game (龙阳之好 — meaning longyang's interest) is basically a phrase that refers to gay relationships. this has to be intentional. right. right. right. anyways if you'd like you can learn more about lord longyang in this brief wikipedia page

cheng xiaoshi's basketball flashback thing with lu guang is peak queer cinema. casually called him his partner and made a profound metaphor on trust on the spot. no one is doing it like him. icon

the captain's (i think his name was hong bin??) accent changes drastically when he's around his family — i don't live in china so i can't pinpoint which region it's from, but just think of it as the chinese equivalent of a country accent. skfjd just thought that was a cute detail

embarrassing but for like the tiniest moment but with the dramatic sunlight and the gentle music i fr thought that implied that hong bin was chen xiao's first love... my stupidity knows no bounds

when cheng xiaoshi is 'in the body' of another person in the past, how much of his emotions are his, and how much of them are the other person's? ...this calls for a character psychoanalysis

okay thank you for listening to my rant. sfjdskfjkfjsj going to scream into my pillow now

KDFJKLDSJF KSDJF

EPSIDOE THREEE THROUGH FIVE ARE SO EMOTIONALLY DEVESTATING, IF NTO THE MOST EMOTIONALLY DEVESTATING EPSIDOES IN ALL OF CINEMA (I'm weak for parents singing lullabies and providing comfort that ends tragically. I never stood a chance.) /pos

OKAY RESPONDING TO YOUR THOUGHTS! (sorry if this seems disjointed I'm going through an 'execuative dysfuntino floaty-float cloud rn... yes feeligns I know how to describe those.)

OHMIGOSH THE GAY CHANT. YES IT HAS TO BE INTENTIONAL. THey just get more queer the more you watch. Their shop literally has their ship name.

The manhua exists.

If this isn't the most queer platonic/gay thing I've ever seen... I don't know what is.

OOOH and I have to tag @celestialsun123 and @mylee-sketches in this just for that point GAY BASKETBALL CHANT WOWOWOO

This ep was also just like... very queer. SO queer. the most queer coded thing I've ever watched in my life (they wanted to convince us we were safe, that this would be a fun little gay time travel show.)

Holy herbs. You know what? The censorship just made them more creative and this is more queer than if it were cannon (just shiguang in general actually... it gets even better as you go on)

ANd the shorts as wellll... also Qiao Ling literally asks Lu Guang 'so what do you like about Cheng XIaoshi?' Like she's honestly the biggest shiguang shipper of us all.

The accent thing IS such a cute detail yess. The way that entire town was written with so much life and little things, each character having depth and intrigue from the get go... only for... episode five.. . and ... *ugly sobbing*

(Especially Chen Xiao's mom. I've honestly rarely seen parents written as well as they are in link click.)

PFT YES YES I ALSO THOUGHT HONG BIN AND CHENG XIAO were supposed to be queer coded in that scene. It's very vibes.

OHMIGOSH THE CHENG XIAOHSHI POSESSION THING CONSUMES SO MUCH OF MY THOUGHTS IT"S SO INTERESTING AS BOTH A NARRATIVE DEVICE AND PART OF HIS CHARACTER. I have a post here:

Theorizing on how Cheng Xiaoshi's emotions work when he's possessing people

with some theories behind it, and lots of notes and anlysis that are... in the works (I'm on my second rewatch of season one but I'm silly and keep rewatching the same scene six times before I watch the next... rinse repeat I've been rewatching for a half a month now.)

LIke the layers and layers and layers in this show are insanneeeee.

Also boba tea:

and... screenshot collection (It's so hard to screenshot shows holy herbs. I wish the manhua adapatation of the first season - where it's all the same as the show - was available online)

(not goign to include any spoilers)

....and I reached my image limit.

THANK YOU FOR TALKING WITH ME ABOUT LINK CLICK AKLDFSJKLDSJFKLDSJFDKLSFJDSLKFJDS.

[bibbykins]

Moonlight Reign Ch. 5

A/N: Lmao hi! I'm back and this chapter is sorta boring but trust the process! Hopefully next chapter will be much sooner! Basically I post a chapter once I have the following one or two done~ Please enjoy and send asks and all that! I keep meaning to make a banner for this series, and one day I will have one!! As usual everyone thank @rapline-heaux my wonderful beta reader who read this months ago lmaooo

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Yandere Mafia! BTS x Reader

Word count: 5.4k

Warnings: yandere behavior, unhealthy relationship, poly relationship, obsessive and possessive behavior, murder, mafia activities, crime, manipulation, crying, trauma, sensory flashbacks, murder, pining, past abuse, past neglect, familial issues, academic neglect, Taehyung and Jimin being mean, abandonment

By the time Jungkook returned to his apartment, all six of his lovers were seated around his dining table, waiting for him. The men looked at the youngest with an aura of moderate annoyance. They hated tardiness, and Jungkook could only imagine the story he spun about you.

“How are you going to be late to the emergency meeting you called?” Jin asked, sighing as he checked his nails impatiently. 

“Go on, tell em where you were.” Taehyung snipped, but Yoongi clicked his tongue in annoyance.

“Don’t bother, he already whined about it.” Namjoon sighed out.

Jungkook snorted, “Yeah, I can tell by the way Jimin looks pissed too.” The MMA fighter bristled at this but sighed, crossing his arms. 

“I’ll never understand what you guys have against her.” Hoseok rolled his eyes, “How is she, dare I ask?” He sarcastically spoke, “According to Tae she’s the Devil incarnate.” 

Jungkook rolled his eyes at this, landing on the man in question to send him a glare, “Did he tell you how much of an asshole he was?” 

“Funnily enough, he neglected to mention his behavior.” Yoongi spoke, not breaking his eye contact with Taehyung who shrunk in his seat a bit, “I also will never understand why she gets under both of your skin so much.” He looked to JImin who shifted in his seat, “None of our trysts have ever gotten to you both.” 

“She’s different.” Taehyung snarled bitterly. No one said it, but the sentiment was there. You were different because Jungkook kept going back to you. You were different because instead of making him worse and leaving them to pick up the pieces, you made him… better. You helped him come from the depths of rock bottom in a way none of them had been capable of doing due to their own internal battles, and it weighed on the two men in a way that guilt could never fully encapsulate. 

“Anyways.” Jungkook spoke, plopping down next to Yoongi who sat at the head of the table, “I’m sure everyone here wants to know why I called you here?” He asked, and the men looked on expectantly. It was rare for Jungkook to call these meetings, especially so close to the anniversary date. Truthfully, he was surprised that they were all even able to attend in the first place, but it was all fate after all, at least in his eyes, “Well, I have just given us the best anniversary gift yet.” The men in the room perked up noticeably. 

“Did Byungjoo seriously give you something useful?” Jimin asked curiously, “I thought I was supposed to go in tomorrow because he’s not talking about the old man’s whereabouts?” He looked to Namjoon whose gaze stayed fixed on Jungkook.

“Yeah… you told me he wasn’t squealing?” The CEO asked suspiciously.

“And he didn’t, not about Byungyeol.” Jungkook confirmed, “But he did mention something… about the girl.” Yoongi’s back was pin straight as the younger man spoke. 

“Isn’t she dead?” Hoseok asked, making Yoongi’s jaw set. 

“Hey, we don’t know that for sure,” Jin argued for the sake of the second oldest who waited for Jungkook to continue with bated breath.

“Oh come on.” Taehyung huffed out, “That fire–”

“Enough.” Yoongi grit out, “Let him finish.” 

Jungkook smiled a bit, all too eager to finally have you out in the open, “She’s alive.” The room went still as he continued, “He gave me her name, and I had to check it out to make sure he wasn’t lying but… I found her.” 

“No way.” Jimin gasped, turning to the older man who had a lump in his throat, “What did you wanna do with her, boss?” The title was a bit sarcastic, “She sharing the same fate as Byungjoo?” 

“No.” Jungkook and Yoongi spoke in unison, making the two look at each other curiously. Everyone in the room knew Yoongi had a certain fixation on finding the green girl, especially as they were preparing for the fall of the Moon group, but they weren’t sure why. The only person who really knew had been Jin who remained as tight-lipped as ever about the topic. 

Yoongi cleared his throat to break some of the tension, “No, I don’t think I plan to kill her.” He spoke cooly, but Jungkook’s jaw set at the mere possibility.

“None of us will be killing or harming her.” Jungkook proclaimed, making the two bosses in the room glared at him. 

“That’s not your call to make, JK.” Namjoon reminded him, but he shook his head in defiance.

“Why do you even care?” Jin asked curiously.

Taehyung watched with squinted eyes as he studied the scene before him. Jungkook never once cared about who lived or died. Hell, he hated attending most meetings. It didn’t make sense why he’d care about some random girl he didn’t know–

Oh. 

Rage bubbled in the pit of Taehyung’s stomach as the puzzle pieces clicked into place, “It’s because she’s been right next door this whole time, isn’t it?” He piped up, and Jungkook’s glare at him deepened, “She’s fucking dea–” Taehyung stood and Jimin followed suit.

“Sit down.” Yoongi hissed, and the men had no other choice but to listen as he turned to the maknae, “Is that true?” 

Jungkook pursed his lips and let out a short laugh, “And I had no fucking clue,” He admitted, and Namjoon wanted to bang his head on the table. All of the men knew that Jungkook wouldn’t lie about this kind of thing, not when it meant so much to Yoongi, but still–

“How could you be so careless–” 

“We all thought she was dead!” Jungkook defended himself, and Yoongi remained quiet, “None of us knew her name, how she looked, hell, we didn’t even know her real age, evidently.” He sighed, “She didn’t even know about me.” 

“What?” Hoseok chimed in, “You’re telling me this is all a coincidence?” He asked incredulously, but Jungkook stood his ground.

“The reason I’ve been so off these days?” He offered, and his boyfriends stiffened, “She saw Namjoon on the news as Bangtan Corp’s CEO, and she… I mean, she’s not an idiot. She added two and two together.” He bitterly admitted, “Our one rule was shattered, so we agreed to go our separate ways but…”

Jin scrunched his brows as he took it in, “You couldn’t let her go, could you?” He asked, and the implications made the men in the room feel ill. Jungkook, the man who could have multiple one-night stands in a night without feeling an ounce of affection for them, couldn’t let you, his friend, walk out of his life, “Jungkook you…”

“She was all I had during…” He trailed off, and the other men could fill in the blanks, “We found each other at our lowest, and now I see why she was so skittish at first it…” He sighed, “It was fate, I see that now.” 

“Fate?!” Taehyung guffawed, “She was playing you!” 

“How?!” He challenged, raising his voice back, “It’s been years and she’s never once asked me for anything!” 

“Everyone calm down, okay?” Hoseok tried to mediate, “Look, I agree with Jungkook, there’s no way she knew or was playing him.” He defended and Jimin scoffed, “I’m serious. I was the one who watched her those days, alright?”

“Byungjoo had no idea I even knew her.” Jungkook mentioned, “I didn’t tell him I did, obviously. He just… immediately gave me her name and her phone number.” He said, but sighed, “She got a new phone the day after she saw Namjoon on the news, you know.” He admitted, “I know now Byungjoo called her that day and she freaked out, now I know why.”

“Freaked out?” Yoongi asked, expression unreadable. 

“Why would she freak out if her uncle called?” Namjoon asked, the Moon family was supposed to be tight-knit.

“She’s…” Jungkook tried to find the word, “I don’t think she was raised how we thought at all, hyung.” He admitted, and it made the older man’s stomach churn, “I think we need to reevaluate everything we thought we knew about the Moon family.” Whispers in the Underworld spoke of a spoiled yet deadly princess who got everything she wanted at the snap of a finger. You were supposed to have been pampered to a nauseating degree. 

“Why don’t we ask her ourselves?” Jimin bitterly added, unbelieving that you could be anything other than what they’d been told.

“Fine.” Jungkook surprisingly agreed, “But not tonight.” 

“What are we even going to do with her?” Jin asked finally, “If we’re not going to kill her then what?” He felt the need to add, “We can’t let her run. Obviously, she was planning to.” 

“We hire her.” Yoongi announced and all of the men except Namjoon looked at him in surprise.

“Just like that?” Hoseok chuckled, “Very well then.” 

“What use do we have for her?” Jimin hissed just as Taehyung stood.

“You’re joking.” Taehyung seethed, “Hire her to what? Stab us in the back?” 

“I haven’t heard anything to suggest she has any allegiance to her family.” Namjoon reasoned, “And she is a nurse, has been Jungkook’s very own for a while now.” He added with a tinge of bitterness, “It only makes sense that–”

“No way in hell am I going to the green girl prodigy killer to heal me.” Taehyung scoffed.

“Then don’t.” Yoongi clipped, making the man scowl further, “But if you need to, she is our new nurse, effective immediately.”

Hoseok, utterly amused, beamed a bit at this, “And no more coming to me to patch you up anymore.” He added, making Taehyung click his tongue, “I’m no good at it and it makes me have to cut into our supply.” He defended. Hoseok had some medical training, he had to in order to be the knowledgeable pharmacist he was now, but he didn’t like using it. 

“And who’s going to tell her?” Jin asked, seemingly unphased by the night’s events, but he seldom was.

“I will.” Yoongi proclaimed, “I’ll speak with her tomorrow and lay out the terms after we hammer them out tonight.” Jungkook stiffened at the idea of the other members seeing you, but it was unavoidable. All he really cared about was the fact that your heart would remain beating and you would be relatively free. 

Jimin glared at Jungkook, “What did you two talk about over there?” He asked.

Jungkook stiffened at the memory of just moments ago before returning his lover’s harsh gaze, “Have something you wanna say?” 

“Interesting that Jungkook gets to keep his toy.” Taehyung spat, making the man in question snarl before Jimin had a chance to say anything. 

“She is not a toy.” Yoongi hissed to everyone’s surprise. He cleared his throat, letting the heat melt from his body, “She is now a vital member of the group and should be treated as such.” This made Jungkook smile.

—

“...And then you tie it like this.” Eunhwa explained, tying the know just above the tip of your gash, “These are poligecaprone sutures, best for general tissue repair, like this.” She was so dutiful in her words, you almost envied how well-spoken she was. Eunhwa was a new instructor since the last one stopped showing up, and you didn’t have it in you to worry when she was so rotten. So far, Eunhwa was quite kind, but she made a displeased face at your wound, and you wondered if she blamed you for it. Father did, after all. He always said you had no business being as clumsy as you were.

Nevertheless, you watched the needle enter your skin and the knot she tied carefully as you nodded, ten-year-old mouth trying to form the word in silence as you did the next suture, the pattern being interrupted, “Pol–” You cut yourself off, looking at Eunhwa with surprise at the fact that you made a noise. You knew the rules, you knew legacies don’t speak unless they have something useful to say. 

You gulped, waiting for admonishment or a behavior report to be made and handed to your uncle, but instead, she smiled, “Do you want help sounding it out?” She asked.

“Yes, ma’am.” You whispered out. 

A brief moment of sadness, an emotion you couldn’t identify yet, flashed on her face before she dutifully guided you through the word. 

You completed the knot and she checked your work with a nod, “Very good.” She mused before her eyes flicked to yours, “Did it hurt? Your father suggested I not give you numbing cream, but if it hurt too bad I can try to convince him.” She offered, but you shook your head. She looked at you quizzically, “It didn’t hurt?” You shook your head again. It hadn’t hurt more than anything else you’d taken, “You don’t want me to talk to him?” 

You swallowed, left with no other choice but to talk, “I can take it. I must.” You echoed his words, “It’s my job.” You solemnly spoke and Eunhwa paused for a moment, before nodding. 

“Very well.” She spoke softly, “I won’t talk to him, then. Just, speak freely around me, okay?” She asked, “I won’t tell, I promise.” 

You nodded, unable to say that you didn’t know how to speak freely.

—

If sleep found you, it certainly didn’t feel like it. Your eyes opened, and it felt like a mere blink. Nevertheless, the sun was slowly beginning to light the sky. The world was still turning for you, for now. You wondered how long you could keep that up. 

It wasn’t going to be long now before the devil was coming to collect your soul in the form of one of the Bangtan men, so you decided to use your last moment to speak to the only other person who ever cared what you had to say. 

The line rang only twice before she picked up, and before she could say anything you spoke, “It’s over.” You breathed, “They found me.” 

“What?” Eunhwa asked, and you could hear a door close, “No, that can’t be–”

For the first time in your life, you cut her off, “It’s okay.” You breathed out shakily, “I lived a bit.” You wanted to say you were ready to die, but you weren’t. You weren’t and the fact made you envious of your past self. A puppet with no concept of a life to live can’t fear death.

“No you didn’t.” She seethed, making your jaw clench. She was right. Your life had just barely started. You still had so much to learn and so many things to do that were now evaporating right before your eyes, “Are you sure they’re going to kill you?” She asked, and your brows scrunched.

“They’ve been looking for me this long.” You pointed out, “Why would they keep me alive? Even if Jungkook were to plead my case.” 

“Why would they kill you though?” Her voice was too hopeful for you, but you let her speak anyway, “Why would they kill someone they’ve been pursuing this hard?” 

“Eunhwa–” You were cut off by a sharp knock on the door that made your stomach fall, “Thank you.” 

“Don’t talk like that.” She hissed, but you could hear the quiver in her voice, “I-I’m going to make a few calls and–” The knock on your door pounded louder this time, and you smiled sadly. 

“I have to go.” You simply said before hanging up. You took a deep breath before approaching the door. You figured death was best faced without thought. You had spoken to the one person from your past life that would miss you, and that was enough. 

The doorknob was unbelievably cold in your hand as you opened it. You didn’t realize you were looking down until you were left to stare at the fanciest pair of dress shoes you’d seen in a while. Finally, you looked up to face the man before you, and it was like time stopped for a moment. Something about his sharp eyes was eerily familiar, and it nearly gave you a headache trying to think about it. 

Yoongi on the other hand, found himself blown away by you. Finally, after years of searching and clawing his way through unwritten records of the underground, here you were. Right under his nose this whole time. How many times had he passed you in the elevator or in the mail room? You were beautiful, stunning even, so how could he have missed you for this long? He watched you drink him in with knitted brows and a brief flash of recognition nearly made him jump back. Could you truly recognize him, even after all you went through since? 

“Do… Do I know you?” You asked, and Yoongi smiled. You could see the melancholy dripping from the expression, making you feel even more uneased, “Are you here to kill me?” You asked, voice smaller than you hoped but you supposed it wasn’t going to matter much pretty soon. 

“Quite the opposite.” He quickly corrected you. Yoongi couldn’t kill you even if he wanted to. You may not be able to recognize him, but he’d know your face anywhere. It was his one comfort for a long time until it was ripped from him, “May I come in?” He raised a brow and you shrugged. 

“I don’t suppose I have much of a choice.” You mumbled under your breath before walking to your couch. 

Yoongi shut the door behind him, studying your form. Even in this despaired state, you were full of more life than he’d ever seen before. A smidge of jealousy boiled in his blood at the realization Jungkook got to see you laugh and act aloof like a friend would this whole time. He shook it off, sitting on the armchair next to the evidently second-hand furniture you sat on, “Needless to say, I am involved with Bangtan.” You nodded, eyes clouded with a million different emotions, “I am Min Yoongi, one of the seven bosses.” You sat on the couch next to the chair, never taking your eyes off of him.

“I don’t recognize you like I do Namjoon.” You spoke, studying his face further. 

He flashed you a tight smile, heart panging from hearing you say you don’t recognize him, “I’m in charge of running our underground operations and appearances.” He explained and your mouth formed a small O for a moment. 

“Wait.” You spoke, studying him further, “Min…” His surname stuck to your lips for a reason you couldn’t place, “I know that name I…” You bit your lip, you prided yourself on remembering faces and placing them just as well, but something about him clouded that ability, “Did I��” 

“No, I don’t have a vendetta against you.” He shook his head, and you scrunched your brows, “I do against your father and uncle, but you’ve done nothing to harm me.” He spoke, “It’s why we plan to let you live.” 

“And not them.” You finished for him, heart dropping a bit when he nodded. You knew you should’ve been more upset hearing that your father and uncle were to be murdered, but you didn’t care too much if you were being honest. It wasn’t as if they would’ve felt any different if the roles were reversed, even if the child in you was mourning them.

However, Yoongi was unnerved by your lack of reaction, “Does that upset you?” He asked, genuinely unable to tell. 

“Not really, no.” You spoke honestly, not wanting to nor trained in the art of lying all that well, “So I get to live?” The glimmer of hope in your eyes squeezed at his chest in a way that made him shift a bit.

“In exchange for something else.” He confirmed, and your body went stiff as you waited for him to continue, “Your time and knowledge.” 

You sighed. Fuck, you were screwed if he needed you to know anything of use, but most importantly, you were tired, “If you think I’m at all still connected to the Underworld…”

“No, no.” He stopped you short, and you looked at him quizzically, “I would’ve found you long ago if you were.” You nodded, and his confidence was all you needed in order to see him for what he was. He was the man who triggered the downfall of your family. You wanted to hate him for it, but you couldn’t, not really, “We all agreed to hire you on as our new nurse” Your breath hitched at his words, mind swimming with a million different things, “We will compensate you for your time and stock whatever supplies you need. You will also have our protection.”

You nodded, but you could hardly believe it, “Who will be my patients?” You asked.

“The seven of us.” He didn’t need to elaborate much further than that, “The lower echelons have their own designated medical services.” He explained, and you were a little impressed by it it all. Your father’s organization was not nearly this… well, organized. You and Eunhwa were the primary medical services for the upper echelons and the lower members had to fend for themselves.

“And can I still have my current job?” You asked, and you breathed a sigh of relief when he nodded. 

“Yes, it’s best that way.” He confirmed, “If any of us need you during your work hours, we will make sure to tell you beforehand so we can coordinate that in a way that doesn’t look suspicious.” He said, but it all sounded too good to be true. 

You fixed a sharp look on him, “What else?” 

He sighed, “Tomorrow, we plan to have you come forward.” You had to grip the couch to stop your bones from turning to jelly at the fear that burned you from the inside, “Without revealing your identity fully, of course.” He quickly added, but it did nothing to ease you, and something about your evident panic made him feel sick, “We plan to have you announce your intent to bring your father and uncle to justice. It may draw the old man out.” He leaned forward, trying to catch your panicked gaze that’d been darting across the room, “All you have to do is record a voice line tonight, include something that only you would know, and send it to me.” He said, and it slowed your heart a mere fraction, “We will take care of the rest.” 

“How will you explain this to the public?” You asked, but he simply shook his head, “They’re going to demand my head I bet.” You were a cold-hearted killer. You knew that the few people that did hear of you firsthand had seldom good to say. Who even knew what your father publicized about you? You stayed away from the news because you didn’t need to know. 

“How scared you are right now tells me that the public will never have been so happy to be wrong about someone.” He mused, and your brows scrunched in confusion, “You were supposed to be some prissy spoiled heiress who killed when she bribed to.” 

“Bribed? Spoiled?” You balked, shaking your head, “That–” You didn’t even know what those words really meant until you met Jungkook, “How did–” 

“Your father controlled the narrative for a long time.” He spoke, words heavier than he knew, “He won’t now.” He spoke as if it were so simple, “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but be honest about what kind of man he and Byungjoo were.” He chuckled, no amusement behind it, “Taehyung will be by in a bit to take your statement and give you the contract.” He stood, and you wanted to complain about Taehyung being the one to do it. However, you held your tongue, only nodding, obedient as ever and you hated it. But what choice did you have? 

“Yes, sir.” You sighed, and the silent submission made Yoongi feel disgusted with himself. 

“No need for that.” He shook his head, making you look up at him in confusion, “Please, just call me Yoongi.” His plea was a little too noticeable, but you nodded anyway, “I’m not your father nor your uncle.” He said softly, but that was only something you would believe when you saw it for yourself, “Were they…” He stopped, trying to think of how to ask such a thing, “You really weren’t spoiled or sheltered, were you?” He asked, already knowing just by how you looked away. 

“No, not in the way you think.” You breathed, “I was an employee more than anything.” You murmured, embarrassed for some reason, “I see that now more than ever.” 

“I see.” He simply said, “And Jungkook…” You stiffened at the mention, “Has he been good to you?” He asked against his better judgment. This wasn’t his business, no matter how much he wanted it to be. 

You nodded, and he felt his shoulders relax, “No one had ever been so kind to me.” You refrained from cursing him for bringing the Underworld back to your door. Not only were you unsure how angry you were, you doubted his boyfriend would fancy hearing it. 

“Good.” He simply said before taking his leave. 

—

“Look, I don’t want to be here anymore than you want me here,” Taehyung said when you opened the door to reveal him and Jungkook’s favorite MMA fighter, Park Jimin, at his side. You didn’t even have the energy to be surprised as he regarded you with as much hatred as Taehyung held, “So let’s get this over with.” He pushed past you to enter your apartment. Namjoon trailed behind them, at least having the decorum to nod at you.

You thought about introducing yourself to Jimin, but decided against it at his glare, “Right.” You simply breathed. 

“First, here’s the contract.” Jimin shoved the paper toward you as you read through it. You may not have been the best speaker or the best writer, but you could sure as hell read. Reading was all you could do for a long time. When you signed your name, his nose scrunched, “You write like a grade-schooler.” He spoke, and it pricked at your deepest shame. You had only been writing for the most part for five years.

The pen snapped in your hand, but you paid no attention to the ink that spilled onto your skin, “Fuck you.” You hissed, taking him aback for a moment. 

“Watch it.” Taehyung snapped, pausing as he set up the equipment. 

“I don’t talk back unless spoken to.” You snarled, moving to wash the ink off, “I don’t need this from either of you, especially not tonight.” You sat at the table, waiting for him to position the mic, “So let’s just get this over with, I have work tomorrow.” 

“Everyone relax.” Namjoon finally spoke, “We can be adults about this.” He glared at the three of you, before letting his gaze land on you, “I’m going to ask you questions, and you respond accordingly.” You nodded. 

“Okay, Ms. Moon, I say as this is not your real last name, please address your father Byungyeol.” He spoke into the mic. You opened your mouth, but nothing came out. What the hell was there to say? You had laid it all out to him five years ago. You had shown true and genuine weakness, real desperation, and he didn’t hesitate in turning his back to you. 

You looked at Namjoon, expression totally lost and much more vulnerable than you wanted. Something about the way you looked like a puppy tugged at his heartstrings a bit in a way he didn’t understand, “What? Don’t wanna disparage your precious dad?” Taehyung taunted, snapping the CEO from his trance.

Your eyes snapped to him in a sharp glare, “How many times do I have to tell you that you don’t know one thing about me?” You seethed, but he looked less than convinced. 

“Look, just pretend he was rotten and mean and you’re scared of him.” Jimin spoke to you as if you were a child, and it only made you angrier, “You should be used to lying, come on princess.” 

“Enough!” Namjoon silenced the two men, “If you upset her it’ll show in her statement.” He spoke, as cold as ever, “Behave.” He ordered before looking to you, “Now, tell me is Byungyeol a good man?” 

“No.” You spoke, immediately, and you were both disappointed when he waited for you to elaborate and you had nothing to say. You didn’t know how to do this, and it pissed you off. Jungkook knew how to keep you talking all the time, and so did Eunhwa, but outside of them, you were a mere soundboard. Namjoon could see the frustration on your face, and it unsettled him. 

Why were you having such a hard time talking? He looked around the room to see his lovers glaring harshly down at you and figured maybe that was the reason. He sighed, “How is she supposed to feel comfortable saying anything with you two looking at her like that?” He asked, shaking his head, “Bring Jungkook or Hoseok in.” He waved them off with a sigh. 

“No, it’s fine.” You grit out, the pride in you swelling, “They can think what they want to.” You didn’t even dignify them with a glare, “Again.” You nodded at Namjoon who finally broke his disbelieving look at you with a sigh. 

“Okay.” He fixed his tie despite this whole thing only being audio, but you supposed it just made sense he was constantly aware of his appearance, “Let’s try a different approach.” He announced, “Just talk directly to your father.” He said, as if it was the simplest thing in the world, “Tell him to turn himself in and be sure to mention something only you would know. Do the same with your uncle for the sake of optics.” He ordered and you wanted to say you weren’t sure if your father committed his actions towards you to memory. Odds are many of those days and nights tattooed in your memory weren’t out of the ordinary for him, as mundane as brushing his teeth. However, you shut your mouth. It wasn’t your problem if it didn’t work. 

You nodded and he gestured for you to start after Taehyung clicked the record button, “Father, I…” You took a deep breath as you tapped on your thigh mindlessly, “I think it’s time to atone for your sins.” Your words were shaky, “Remember? We don’t show fear, and you shouldn’t now.” The words were heavy on your tongue, “You told me that you find me in three years… that we would be a normal family after I begged you not to leave me alone, all by myself in a world I never got to see.” You wanted to choke on your father’s false promise, “It’s been five years since that day, and I’ve grown up a lot since then. I understand now more than ever how wrong you were about so much, and I have solemnly accepted the consequences of my actions under your guidance.” Your leg began bouncing as you spoke, “It’s time for you and uncle to do the same.” You tried to think of anything else to say, but it was all you had, so you looked at Namjoon, “Good?” 

His eyes were clouded, and you were unable to make out how exactly he felt. However, one thing remained that was clear, he was undeniably skeptical of you. That was fine, you didn’t need his trust, you just needed your heart to be beating, “Yeah, that’ll do for now.” He nodded to Jimin and Taehyung, “If he doesn’t come forward, we may need more.” You nodded, and that was thankfully enough for him. 

“You can let yourselves out.” You sighed, “I’m exhausted, so goodnight.” You didn’t bother to wait for a response as you turned on your heel and shut your bedroom door behind you. 

Namjoon opened his mouth to mention that they didn’t have a key, but you didn’t seem to care anyway. He sighed, a mix of conflicting emotions swirling in his chest as Taehyung packed up. 

“She’s the worst.” Tarhyung grumbled under his breath as Jimin curtly nodded. Namjoon rolled his eyes, knowing the two men well enough to see when they felt a twinge of regret. It was obvious at least some of what they heard about you was incorrect– if your statement was to be believed, that is.

----------------------

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