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okay life update..

after months searching i got my internship, and that explains a lot on why i've been missing for the past few weeks. it was great and fine but i feel like there's something off with me the more i just sit and go to work.. it's like this time, i'm the one who moved forward and it doesn't feels right somehow. i don't feel like who i am too, it's like everything is too "perfect" and maybe i'm not used to that as someone who kept failing on what she's trying to do lol then the question remains to myself.. who am i really? and where should i go next?.. things aren't the same anymore, i'm not the same anymore aren't i? truth be told i'm scared if i'm loosing the part of me that i loved and stayed forever with.. this one?? i mean it's not like i don't like this whole "me", it just felt like i didn't have time to carry that past self that i ended up with all of these in myself i still had wips to do tho, and maybe they'll make me feel better once i did it, i need to play some "time game" or something like that so i can catch up with the internship and also my wips ehehe

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late night Adventure Time thoughts: the genuine love that Finn always has for alternate versions of himself means so, so much to me

His refusal to hurt Farmworld Finn, despite knowing that he is putting the entire multiverse in grave danger

The way he mourns for Finn Sword after accidentally shattering him, which in itself was done in a desperate attempt to save him from being used against his will to commit evil deeds

And of course, Fern. Who, despite trying to literally murder him multiple times, Finn only ever shows unwavering compassion towards

As someone who struggles a lot with intense self-hatred, there’s just something so….heartbreakingly beautiful to me, about Finn seeing these other versions of himself, who share his love and his pain and his courage and his torment, and immediately and unconditionally offering them love.

Finn saying “You are me, and therefore I love you” has left a huge impact on me, and it encourages me to try, against all odds, to do the same.

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So... YT decided that Part 5 is "made for kids".

I have no hopes for the appeal going through, so this is a RE-UPLOAD with a violent clip from Castlevania working as an intro to hopefully avoid this happening again 🤡 I'm sad I lost all the lovely comments from the original upload, but such is life no matter how much it sucks, screw you youtube

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I draw Finn and Jack reacting to how I feel inside now that adventure time isn’t on binge anymore 😓

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finally finished binge watching adventure time, at first i decided to rewatch it "for the plot" esp the lich arc.. turns out i enjoyed everyone's arc more than i thought i would..

even though i skipped many chunks of s1-5 but god i still bawling my eyes out when i hit into the finale..

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tw : disturbing experiences

mmm seeing the reactions on tiktok abt the new ep and it got me thinking how undeserved this show is to those kind of audiences, yes though i haven't watched the new ep (as the spoiler suddenly jumped into my fyp) i still can't stop having this weird view over the comments. the way people would still celebrated marina's death even after takopi's regret and understanding over her life in ep 3, the way people switched from shizuka after the new ep, like really what the hell do these people expect, that the world is only black and white and that character "wouldn't do that" because "they weren't suppose to" ?

i genuinely see all the characters there are insanely complex and need serious consideration than just blatantly stating "this is evil and this is pure and good". i wish that more people would understand this because the way these stories goes on to me made me terrified (of how accurate things could be). These hits close to real life because recently i've indirectly experienced one of the triggering topics that similarly happened to one of the character (marina), even from someone who could only watched from afar it was one of the most disturbing experience that i literally almost got a panic attack. going back with people's behavior when handling the characters, i just can't feel more disappointed than anything, the show has shown that the characters are victims of the environment and system they've grown up from, and hell they're only children like these whole mass celebration on a murder of a child are so fucking terrifying. it terrifies me because this probably adds up to the reality that instead of showing sympathy, people would just choose to claim which one's "good or bad" without diving more as these topics are stuff that SHOULD be taken seriously

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Me watching Takopi’s Original Sin:

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AND IT HAS FINALLY FINISHED!!!

i already forgot how long this took but i'm glad that i could finish it hahahahahhahh! also i left some easter eggs hwehwehe feel free to find em, they're on the cover art from the songs, though i'd love to spill one : lanterns by birds of tokyo

also yes it's a modern au ;)

unfiltered ver. below *wink wonk

i learn a lot about rendering and perspective in this one btw (they're my biggest weakness eughghgh), i'd never thought to make stuff like this tho ngl but i'm happy with the result!

i like the sketch better for the cd shelves lol

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stay safe because i like being alive at the same time as you.

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old silly Spinosaurus study

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I'm still struggling with 3d animation as of now (and so with the me from back then) and TO BE FREAKIN HONEST? looking back on the reason i wanted to try it in the first place just made feel a lot more emotional than being angry at myself (and hey maybe this is a good thing, right?)

i wanted to make something about rotbtd someday, like not as in 2d but 3d with their cool models and rigs all complete set!

i'm not good at modelling or rigging i must've admit, but at least i could find em online (?), still in the end it's all up to me that make it happen anyways. Also, the art college where i'm studying rn turns out to be a scam or something like that. There were lecturers that scared me up to just do my assignments, i looked at other art college and i just felt so ashamed of everything that were around and within me, like i got accepted into an art college.. but i wasn't treated well and yet i should be proud of it because i'm still an art student? It messed me up pretty bad because making art is the kind of passion that is also my source of comfort, my brain ended up felt so confused and lost when i feel like what comforts me turns out to be hurting me instead..

But hey i'm over those stuff now.. or i'm supposed to at least.

Getting myself to be self-taught animator WHILE still studying in a college that's majoring in animation feels godly awful, there's always this realization that the place where i paid to study at is an awful place, that i don't come from a good place nor worth to talk about. i feel like a literal fraud rn..

i could never erase these stuff but i don't want it to haunt me like this, i love doing animation, i love making art, and i still want to make more of em. and i'm allowed to make em anyway, i'm allowed to get out from this house and be who i am, though maybe i look weird and different but i still want to get out there and live

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AINT NO FREAKIN WAY MLP INFECTION AU IS HOW I FOUND OUT THAT AO3 IS DOWN 😭😭😭

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I don't think we give Kenji enough credit for the concept of his glow in the dark stickers supposed to be a marketing ploy for the site of the glowing dinosaurs. That's actually a very smart way to attract customers!

(Execution could have been a bit better but I see the vision)

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hello yes i tried to paint 🥲

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Your mental health is more important than your grades!

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campgals au where:

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Late art gift (ke skip 2 event bloom jchdkch)

Chipa & Falcon