#when will admin stop me

[slavhew]

skirts suit strider

[cozylittleartblog]

GRAAAHHH SORRY THIS IS SUDDEN BUT OH MY GOD I FINALLY FOUND YOU. IM THE BENREY THAT RAN UP TO YOUR BOOTH AR AMW THIS YEAR AND MY FRIEND BOUGHT ME LIKE ALMOST ALL YOUR VALVE STUFF, I LITERALLY CRIED WHEN I GOT BACK TO THEIR ROOM CAUSE LIKE DUDE. THAT MEANT EVERYTHING FOR ME, I WAS GENUINELY SO SO SO HAPPY TO SEE THE FANDOM IS STILL ALIVE AND IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR FANS IN THE WILD FOR YEARS. THE EXPERIENCE WAS ENLIGHTENING TO SAY THE LEAST AND IM SO SO JOYOUS ABOUT IT. THANK YOU SO MUCH !1!11! :•3

:D !!!! HI!!! I REMEMBER YOU!!! THANK YOU FOR STOPPING BY, I'M SO HAPPY IT WAS MEMORABLE FOR YOU!!

people who are so enthusiastic about the things i make and the fandoms i rep at my booth are THE #1 coolest part of the experience 🥺 i feel like convention artist alleys these days are mostly filled with the same 4 popular anime/mobile games and it's really hard to find less popular anime, let alone things like video games and webseries. you would not believe how many comments I got that people never see things like Team Fortress 2 or Portal in AAs, let alone stuff like Infinity Train or HLVRAI 😭 the people who recognize them are always SO excited and then I'M excited and we are BOTH excited and nerding out together. it's fantastic!!!

the hlvrai fandom is definitely still going strong! i still see a lot of fanart and community posts and my sales on my few hlvrai things on my etsy have Not slowed down lmao. i'm sure if covid didn't happen there would have been so many benry cosplayers in 2020. we were ROBBED </3 i've seen You and one benry cosplayer at ACEN last year and that was IT </3 </3 </3

[the-mechanisms-system]

Lol totally not planning my post-semester attention grab isolation to make my friends have to Intentionally reach out and show they care and want me around and also to show that I don't need them and would be fine without them

[alterousuggestion]

I'm very new to alterous attraction. It's very hard for me to really... Get a grasp on, honestly? If you could try to explain it would be very appreciated. I hear it spoken about like a truly wonderful thing, but I don't even know what it means besides "the secret third thing" and beyond the platonic/romantic/sexual/aesthetic model I used

hi screaming-cricket !! if i’m being honest, i don’t really know how to explain it either, ahaha. i know that’s not very helpful, but it truly is something that is in a gray zone for myself and a lot of other people (although not all). to me, alterous attraction is something that is very distinctly it’s own thing: it doesn’t feel like something i would typically associate with platonic friendships, but they do not feel inherently romantic either. in fact, calling them romantic or forcing them into the romantic category makes me so uncomfortable. there is overlap though, for example, whenever i experience alterous or platonic attraction, i feel these things in both cases:

wanting to talk/call/video call with them 

looking forward to hang outs

thinking about how we both consider each other a friend is something that makes me happy 

happy after seeing them, sad when they are upset, wanting to see them grow and achieve their dreams and be the best version of themselves 

but there are also noticeable differences:

the level of emotional intimacy i want to achieve with an alterous ‘crush’ is different compared to platonic friendships. i want to know them inside out, and i want them to know me inside out too. i want to be the first person they turn to for support, and i want them to be that for me too. 

calling them my ‘best friend’ is amazing, but it doesn’t seem to fully encompass all i feel for them. calling them my boyfriend/girlfriend/etc., also doesn’t feel accurate, and in a lot of ways, it feels limiting and really uncomfortable. like i do care for them platonically, but that doesn’t feel right, but romantic doesn’t feel right either. 

the level of physical intimacy is also different. i want to be close to them, i imagine taking naps with them. i want to hold their hand. maybe, if i knew they thought about me in the same way, i’d be open to kissing them too. warning for sexual themes in the indented bulletpoints:

when it comes to someone i am alterously attracted to, i am more comfortable with experimentation sexually. that does not mean i am sexually attracted to them (i am also ace), but it’s more like... they make me feel comfortable to try to do those things purely for enjoyment or to feel closer to someone, as long as it’s taken the same way by both parties. 

there is also a desire for a more involved future: i wish they would stay with me in a committed partnership, i want to share a living space with them in the way traditional romantic partners do. i want to share my life in general with them more intimately. 

think of it like... i walk alongside my friends and even though we take different paths, we still converge. for those i am alterously attracted to, i want to do life with them, but hand in hand. i want to go where they go (metaphorically). i want to take those steps with them. now that doesnt mean i want to abandon my own goals, or expect (or want) them to do that for me, but i want the path we take to be closer than others. 

i know that a lot of people might take a look at these things and go ‘i’m okay with doing that with people i am platonically attracted to’ or ‘this is what i want when i am romantically attracted to someone’ and that’s okay !!! relationships are not ‘one size fits all’. all relationships look different. for me, this is as close as i can explain what it feels/means to me. to me, it is something completely outside the platonic/sexual/aesthetic/etc models. alterous is it’s own thing. and it’s confusing to explain but it all boils down to those different feelings. and if you’re wondering whether or not you feel this, i think i would suggest taking a deep breath and maybe even a step back. make a list, if that helps, about what you’d do with a friend vs a romantic partner, and try to make the boundaries as clear as possible. and then think ‘ have i done things that are a mix of both with someone? did our relationship feel different in a way i couldn’t quite pin down? something that is there but also seems not there at the same time?’. if so, you might be dealing with alterous attraction. 

this reply is getting really long, but i guess what i mean to say that it if people are vague about what it feels like, it’s because it is a vague feeling. it’s unique. by listen to your mind and body: does it feel right calling something alterous? does it make you feel happy, and relieved? that’s how i started when i was questioning and then the boundaries and stuff like that became more clear to me after that :3

[kyouka-supremacy]

Mmmhh...

[scraemoo]

Me: "hey so I'll make a QSMP hiatus"

QSMP: "nuh uh get back here"

[daisywords]

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[prozach27]

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[nightshadeowl]

Unironically have been off-and-on considering starting up an SM3 fan server for informational and archival purposes. For the few of us that there are and those who would look to join us (this is a ghost town)

[incorrect-mltd-quotes]

thank you for running this blog for so long!! its always made me really happy :') i hope your life gets less stressful soon and lots of good things happen to you, you deserve it!!

I still can't believe it's been over six years, it feels like barely any time has passed at all. Thank you all for sticking around for such a long time, though! Putting up with my nonsense and whatnot, mwahaha. Ahhh, my poor heart, I'm so glad that it was able to bring you happiness! That's all I could want, really. Right back at you, though! Good things are going to happen and I hope they are lovely to you. <3

[the-admin-behind-the-slaughter]

contemplating whether or not i should hc afton as part asian

[the-king-of-lemons]

hm.

[somedaytakethetime]

This is THE most Danish thing you'll see today.. 😩🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰

[heliopauseentertainments]

I did comment responses this morning and posted chapter 99 of Reforged early because I'm going to be busy this weekend with the beginning of Hanukkah.

This chapter answers "Where the fuck did [character] go?"

[bambino1294]

the absolute severity of the change in my ability to work quickly post-covid is insane

[eorzeashan]

i'll probably upload the entire series of the traitor arc rewrite when it's finished to ao3 but i'm gonna lament ruining my perfect streak of having (1) fic on there and knowing it's not gonna beat that little oneshot in metrics adsasjaskl